Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If there was one thing Jimin reveled in during his free time, it was cooking. Whenever he was free from pack duties, wanted to de-stress, or was alone, he cooked. 

Alone, just like right now.

Jimin prepared a meal as he waited for Jeongguk to come home, expertly cracking three eggs. He was all alone in their home, but he didn’t really mind. 

He loved being at home. 

Their cabin was located near the woods and compared to the other cabins in the pack, it was small but cozy. With its slanted roof and plenty of windows, it neither lacked sunlight to brighten their home nor did the snow pile up on the roof. There was also a fireplace graced with gray stones; he'd decorated it with cherry blossom paintings he had made in the spring with few of his pack members. 

As he cooked, he arranged the things on the dining table beside the kitchen. It was a small table sufficient for two people since they rarely had any guests over. Jimin beat the eggs gaily, swayed his hips in rhythm with the song he was humming to himself, and immediately spotted the bed. Their bed.

He particularly liked their bed. It had four posts, with curtains on all sides for privacy. It was undeniably comforting, just so soft and cozy. Whenever the curtains were drawn, he felt like he was in the safest place on earth, and he didn't get afraid of the dark as well since the windows illuminated them softly.

He was suddenly snapped out of his reverie when a familiar voice, a voice he knew by heart, echoed in the room.

"Jimin, we need to talk."

Jimin stiffened at the sound of his name but regained his composure just as fast. It wasn't often that Jeongguk would call him by his name. Jeongguk had stopped addressing him by it soon after they got together, replacing his it with something endearingly sweet, like 'love'. Well, Jeongguk was probably just forced to do it, thanks to Jimin's endless suggestion for it to be their term of endearment, but still, he appreciated it. He thought he would combust the first time he heard it slip from the alpha's lips. 

He placed the bowl and the makeshift whisk on the tabletop, wiped his palms on his worn tunic before he turned around, greeting Jeongguk with a smile. He walked towards Jeongguk, ignoring the grave look on his face, wrapped his arms around his waist, and leaned his head on his chest.

"I missed you," Jimin whispered. Jimin expected Jeongguk to wrap his arms around him and tell him he had missed him too, but Jeongguk remained motionless. If Jimin was disappointed, he didn't show it, only tightened his hold on him instead. Jeongguk must be really tired, Jimin must try to be understanding. "Do you want to eat? I'm preparing something for dinner—"

"We need to talk," Jeongguk interjected, cupping both of Jimin's wrists to pull away from his hold. 

"Okay," Jimin deflated.

"Sit," Jeongguk motioned to their bed, voice surly, features stiff. He hadn't looked Jimin in the eye since he entered their cabin. Jimin lowered himself down on the bed, feeling the soft material of the mattress against his skin, and wanted to just lay there.  

When Jimin glanced up at Jeongguk, he saw the exhaustion surface on his beautiful face. The growing bags stood out under his red-rimmed eyes. He had lost some weight too, and it made sense that he did. 

He had been busy fulfilling his duties as the next pack leader. Jimin barely sees him these days. 

"Jimin," Jeongguk heaved another sigh, opening his mouth just to close it without a word.

"Just say it.” Jimin waited with bated breath, hiding the way he dug his left thumbnail onto the flesh of his right arm, a nervous tic.

Jeongguk shut his eyes tight, exhaling a shaky breath. "My promotion is approaching—I'm going to be pack alpha soon, and I- I need to… mate," he trailed off, perhaps searching for more consoling words, just to soften the blow, and soon giving up when he found none. 

"I need to mate an... omega or I—" Another sigh. "You know about this, don't you?" Jeongguk continued when he was only met with silence in response.

Of course, Jimin did. He wasn't that dense.

But despite the fact that he was painfully aware of what was going to happen, the inevitable, he still fell for him.

Jimin still remembers the first time his heart skipped a beat for Jeongguk. 

He could recall it so vividly as if it happened yesterday, how a ten-year-old Jeongguk, stiffly smiled at him after he kindly helped Jimin retrieve his kite that got stuck on the tree in the woods. Jeongguk was aware of the punishment that would come if they were caught straying too far from the place that the pups were allowed to be in. But at that moment, helping Jimin was his only concern.

Ever since the kite incident, they had been inseparable. Jimin was everywhere Jeongguk was, following him around religiously. 

Jeongguk was quiet, a little reserved while Jimin was loud and outgoing. In the beginning, it took a lot of convincing just so Jeongguk would agree to go outside and play with him, sometimes with the other pups. 

They'd make kites to fly them and God, was Jeongguk terrible at it. They would build castles out of sand, get their little hands all dirty, and sometimes they'd make accessories out of the flowers from the pack's garden. Jeongguk once made a ring out of them and gave it to Jimin. A friendship ring, he said.

Jimin loved to think that Jeongguk liked his company too, even though sometimes he would tell Jimin to leave him alone—to go away. Jeongguk was a bit grumpy sometimes.

He was painfully aware of it when at fourteen, he decided to court Jeongguk because no matter how many times Jimin had asked— begged—Jeongguk to court him, he would never. Because well, Jimin was a beta, and alphas didn't court betas. 

Alphas were only meant to be with omegas. 

But Jimin didn't care, he was stubborn and he liked Jeongguk with all his heart, liked him even before he grasped what that word really meant.

Jimin courted him even though it should have been the other way around. 

To say that Jeongguk was appalled when Jimin had outright told him he wanted to court him was an understatement. 

Non-alphas courting wasn't unheard of but it wasn't very common either; it was in fact frowned upon but it didn't matter to Jimin what other people would say. If alphas could court the omegas they like then Jimin, a beta, could court the alpha he liked too. If Jeongguk wouldn't do it, then he would. 

He courted him even when his friends laughed at him and called him desperate. He courted him even though his parents and Jeongguk's parents didn't like it, because it wasn’t conventional. Even when their pack members stared at him with all the disappointment and ridicule they could hold in their eyes. 

Jeongguk rejected him so many times that Jimin had lost count. The alpha said they should just stay friends, and Jimin, although a little too hurt, agreed because he would take anything that Jeongguk offered. But Jimin’s feelings never wavered, they only grew stronger.

At fifteen, he gave Jeongguk his very first courting gift. A rust-colored scarf that he knitted himself. It was long enough to wrap two to three times around his neck, and wide enough to cover most of his chest. That way, if he put his head down, he could also hide his chin and nose in it. Jeongguk got cold very easily, so he thought a scarf would be a nice gift that could protect him from the cold, and keep him warm.

Jimin wasn't exactly skilled. He spent weeks making it and wasted too much yarn in the  process. One of the older omegas in the pack paid him to read books to pups and he used the money to buy more yarn, determined to knit Jeongguk a warm, beautiful scarf. Jimin almost gave up on it and cried out of frustration but thanks to his mother's moral support, he pushed through. 

He confidently carried his gift, and stood in front of the Jeons’ cabin. He worried that Jeongguk wouldn't accept it, as he had just stared speechlessly, wide eyes open at Jimin who had a huge smile stretched across his lips, eyes turned into half-moons, the scarf on his extended hands—clearly proud of what he made. 

As more time passed by with Jeongguk unmoving, Jimin started to lose his smile. He was prepared to turn around and leave with a broken heart when Jeongguk called his name and hastily took the gift from him, thanking him before slamming the door in his face. Jimin was so happy that he forgot to mind his steps, tipping forward and face planting on the snowed floor. 

He never saw Jeongguk wear the scarf though, not even once. Jeongguk probably threw it away, it was ugly anyway. Jimin promised himself to give him better courting gifts in the future. 

Jimin never forgot about it even when he and Jeongguk started dating. He recalled how happy he was when Jeongguk said yes after three years of his courting. Jimin had even asked Jeongguk to pinch him, he couldn't believe it was real, that Jeongguk liked him enough to want to date him too. 

Jimin never forgot about it, not even now, five years into their relationship. 

It was like a ticking clock ready to end all of his happy days. Always there, making Jimin anxious, a constant reminder that he would never have all of Jeongguk. 

"I do," was all that Jimin managed to say. 

"We need to—Jimin," Stop saying my name like that. "We need to break up. I need to do this. You know how important this is for my family." Jeongguk stumbled over his words, eyes searching Jimin's.

I do. More important than I would ever be to you.

He had expected this, of course. Even believed he would be strong enough when the day would come where Jeongguk would have to choose everything else over him. Jimin had this silly little hope in his heart that Jeongguk would drop everything for him because he loved him, but it was all a beautiful illusion. It was all just in his head, they had always been on borrowed time. 

All Jimin could hear was Jeongguk's heavy breathing and the constant tapping of his bouncing leg on the floor, making Jimin unsure about anything anymore. 

Their cabin was suddenly filled with tension, unlike the way he was on cloud nine when he stepped in there for the first time with Jeongguk. The safe haven lifted its veil to strangle the familiar feelings with its bare hands.

"I know," Jimin breathed. "I know."

There were no words exchanged for a while as they sat across each other with tension so heavy, and electrifying that a knife could cut through it. Jimin glanced up to see Jeongguk's head hanging, he looked so small and before he knew it, Jeongguk lifted his head and his big pleading brown eyes met Jimin's and it made him want to just get in their bed, and lay there cocooned. 

Jimin supposed he could make a scene, ask Jeongguk the questions that had been residing in his head, throw something, anything at Jeongguk just so he knew how he truly felt. He could maybe remind him of the constant dull ache sitting in his chest and yell at him, but he wouldn’t. Jimin’s mother taught him to be kind, to understand everyone's situation, and that was what he was doing. 

He repeated words of reassurance in his head that Jeongguk had no choice, the simplest lie he could repeat until his heart accepted the poison as truth. 

“Do you want me to leave the cabin?” Jimin asked before he could fully process the words. “I can find someplace to live in—”

“No, don’t! Don't go!” Jeongguk growled, wincing at his own tone when he realized how sharp he reacted. “I mean, you can stay until I find a mate.”

Jimin should have probably left this cabin then. He would have to do that anyway because soon enough, Jeongguk and his future mate would live here. But he wasn’t strong enough for that, yet. 

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" Jimin sighed. He couldn’t look Jeongguk straight in the eyes. His heart ached at how guilty he looked, how his eyes that held the universe shined with something Jimin refused and was too hurt to acknowledge. 

 "Yes," Jeongguk mumbled, his eyes not leaving Jimin. Jimin bobbed his head tepidly.

"Then I should clean up and head to bed. I'm tired," he said, swiftly rising from his seat when tears stung his eyes. He wouldn’t cry. He would never. 

“Jimin, love—”

Jimin cleared his throat. "Oh, if you're hungry, you can eat the stewed pork I made from yesterday's hunt. It's still warm. I'm sorry I didn't finish cooking the eggs. I-I want to... sleep." 

"It's okay. Thank you," Jeongguk hesitated. He didn’t really deserve Jimin's kindness. "What about you?"

"I'm not hungry," Jimin offered an empty smile, just lifting the corners of his mouth. Jeongguk watched his back as he went back to what he was doing before Jeongguk came in but this time, Jimin did things deliberately slow. They didn't speak anymore after that, Jimin didn't spare him a glance.

Later that night, as they both laid in their bed, Jeongguk waited and waited for Jimin to seek his warmth and wrap his arms around him, then nestle his face on his chest just like he did every night, but it never happened.

The following days, Jimin decided to stay away from their cabin for the meantime. It wasn't good for him to be alone with all the venomous thoughts in his head. He was better staying out, picking ripe fruits with his pack members, watching pups run around the pack’s garden. 

The coronation ceremony was still a good three months away, and Jimin had no idea if Jeongguk found a suitable omega yet, not that Jimin wanted to know. He'd rather be blind to these things, at least, that way it would lessen the burden in his chest. But no matter what he did, the thoughts just didn't stop swirling.

Right now, he and Hoseok were picking mangoes in the garden at the edge of the woods. It had various types of plants. There were fruit trees, flowers, and also a section where they grew vegetables. He tended to the garden often. All the greenery brought him peace. 

The place had a small path running between all the trees, lined with flowers on both sides. He loved walking barefoot on the pathway, covered with grass and moss, that tickled his feet gently.   There was also a cabin in the middle of it to store all the supplies and extra produce they gathered, so the elderly could have easier access.

"How does it feel?" Jimin asked, absentmindedly staring as the red ants climbed the trunk of the mango tree.

"How does what feel?" Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows albeit still engrossed in fruit picking, standing on his tiptoes, reaching at the mangoes as high as he could using a long wooden pole with a basket made of net attached to one side so the fruits don’t fall to the ground.

"To be an omega." 

That captured Hoseok’s attention, he raised an eyebrow. It wasn't every day that he got asked about how it felt to be an omega. He racked his brain for a good answer but came up with none.

"Nothing special. I think we're all the same, no matter what status," Hoseok stated, separating the overly ripe and some rotten mangoes from the good ones, placing them on the baskets the elders weaved themselves. Hoseok leaned closer, his mouth almost brushing against Jimin's earlobe when he snickered, "Oh, omegas produce an excessive amount of slick and their scents make alphas go crazy.”

Jimin supposed that was pretty special. Betas, like him, didn't produce slick nor did they smell of anything worth going crazy for. Besides, if they weren't anything special then Jeongguk wouldn't have to find an omega mate to be pack alpha. He wouldn't have to leave Jimin. 

But Jimin kept his mouth shut, it wouldn’t change anything anyway, he just laughed along with Hoseok. 

“Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

Just as they finished their fruit picking sessions, Hoseok's mate, Namjoon, came to fetch him and helped him carry the baskets of fruits they picked out to bring to the pack's canteen. Namjoon left a peck on Hoseok’s temple, making him glow with happiness, before turning his head to greet Jimin with a nod of his head accompanied with a dimpled smile, which Jimin reciprocated.

Kim Namjoon, one of the Kims, was one of the most respected alphas in the pack, along with the Jeons. The pack members downright worshipped them for everything they contributed to the pack. But they proved themselves worthy of all the praises. 

Jimin reckoned that Namjoon and Jeongguk were almost the same when it came to standing out in their pack, work field wise. Strong, ambitious men with integrity. 

The only difference was that it was irrefutable how much Namjoon loved his partner, whereas Jeongguk, not so much.

Jimin would be lying if he said that he wasn't purposefully avoiding Jeongguk. He hadn't talked to Jeongguk properly in a week. 

He supposed there was no point in talking or interacting with him since they were about to separate after Jeongguk managed to find a mate, probably in a month's time frame—it would be easy for Jeongguk to find a mate since he was an alpha everybody wanted, an alpha every parent would want for their children—which was kind of funny since they still slept in the same bed. 

He wasn’t trying to be difficult or seek attention, it just… pained him in ways Jimin couldn't even begin to explain. It had been eating him alive, keeping him up at night, squeezing his chest so tight he couldn't breathe.

Jimin didn't cling to Jeongguk anymore like he used to. He figured that detaching himself from Jeongguk earlier could help him swallow the truth, although he knew in his heart that it was impossible. 

As soon as Jimin finished his bath, he went straight to bed, even though he absolutely despised going to bed with wet hair. He did not bother drying it. He just wanted to sleep everything away, escape any form of interaction with Jeongguk, not that Jeongguk was trying to talk to him or anything.

He walked to their bed with heavy steps, combing his damp hair through his fingers. Jeongguk was already in the bed, a blanket tucked in under his chin like a curious child, staring at Jimin with those sparkling eyes. Jimin pretended not to see, minding his own business and slipped under the safety of his own quilt blanket, and lied down on his side, facing away from Jeongguk. Jimin could feel the burn of Jeongguk's gaze at the back of his head, but he ignored that as well, letting his eyes flutter close. He was about to drift off to sleep when he heard Jeongguk speak.

"Love—Jimin?" he called out softly, his voice merely a whisper, so much so, that Jimin thought he had imagined it. He didn’t move or do anything that would give away that he was awake. Jimin felt the bed dip behind him, a shadow looming over him. He suppressed the chill that crept up when Jeongguk's hand traveled from faintly caressing his cheek to embracing the dampness of his hair. 

“Your hair’s wet,” he mumbled morosely, more to himself than Jimin. Jeongguk got off the bed, careful not to stir it too much, afraid he’d awakened Jimin. 

A few moments later, Jimin felt his head getting lifted gently by a hand while the other gingerly placed a soft and dry towel beneath his head. Then he felt another caress on his head before Jeongguk gathered a portion of his damp hair to dry it out with the towel. 

The touches were fleeting; light enough for Jimin to believe that his mind was hallucinating to bring some inner peace. 

Jeongguk was humming a song as he softly caressed Jimin’s head.

Jimin’s heart constricted painfully in his chest. 

He fought the fatigue and drowsiness, wanting to listen to Jeongguk’s melodious humming but fell asleep to it instead, failing to feel the kiss left just shy of his lips and a whisper of ‘I love you’.

Reading books to the pups was still something Jimin actively participated in even though there was a new omega assigned there. 

He simply couldn’t let go of it as he had been engaged in this ever since he could remember. Also, Jimin found pleasure in seeing the pups’ faces light up every time he’d string the phrases in harmonious melodies when narrating stories to them. He additionally helped out with kitchen duties, to assist the elderly sort the food in the pantry when the nearby pack sent them meat and supplies—a way of expressing gratitude to Jimin's pack who gifted them newly knitted clothes to keep them warm last winter.

He decided to eat a little past dinner time hence why he was alone in the pack’s dining hall. Jimin chewed the meat leisurely. Although he was eating his favorite grilled pork, he didn’t have the appetite for it. He forced the food down his throat. He should be grateful he had something to eat, it occurred to him. 

He was on his second glass of water after finishing his dinner when Hoseok appeared in front of him out of nowhere and startled him. 

“Can I sit here?” Hoseok asked.

Jimin nodded and downed the rest of the water before placing it down on the table, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Hoseok watched him keenly, the look in his eyes betraying the cheerfulness of his tone when he asked, “Why are you here alone and so late?”

“I helped the elderly today in the pantry, and it took longer than expected,” he said, squeezing the hem of his tunic that was still wet after washing the dishes.

“Ah…”

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked when Hoseok kept looking at him like he was itching to open his mouth and say something.

“Nothing,” he smiled, albeit a bit strained. “But Jimin…”

Jimin raised his brows, Hoseok gulped.

“About Jeongguk…” he looked at Jimin, observing his face before continuing. “Do you know that he’s looking for an omega to mate with?” Hoseok asked amiably, taking Jimin’s feelings into consideration and Jimin appreciated it. 

There was a pregnant pause, the chirping of crickets loud in their ears.

“Jimin, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to—” 

“Yes… I know.” 

That silenced Hoseok, eyes widening in shock and Jimin squeezed his tunic harder.

“And do you know that he’s… found one?” 

The words rang through his head and his brain stuttered for a moment. All he could feel was a searing pain in his chest that radiated in his whole body and it felt like his heart was taken out of his chest, and stomped on the ground. 

“No,” he said through gritted teeth. 

“Oh.” Hoseok reached for Jimin’s forearms when he saw him trembling, putting them on top of the table, squeezing his hands. “Hey, calm down.”

He found a mate. An omega. He would finally be with an omega like he probably had always wanted to but he couldn't because Jimin was in the way. Always in the fucking way. And that omega would be everything Jimin couldn’t and wouldn’t ever be to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk was kind to him, he always had been. Jeongguk treated him like how one would treat a lover. He went up the hill every day to fetch pails of water and then run him a bath on their makeshift tub because Jimin loved long baths, it helped him relax. Unless Jeongguk was away for a hunt, he did it without fail, regardless of how beat he was from his own pack duties. 

He would always bring Jimin something after returning from a hunt or visiting other packs to hand them winter clothes—their pack’s prowess—and vegetables they grew in their own garden that the higher officials in the pack harvested yearly to maintain peace with  neighboring packs. Jimin told him that he didn’t have to bring anything every time he came home but Jeongguk insisted, saying he did because he wanted to.

He brought him several gifts over the years, flowers, scarves, tunics, and even wooden cookware a few times. He always brought him the hair oils and body oils because he knew Jimin loved them, loved it when he smelled good. 

But his favorite was the quilt blanket. 

One day when Jeongguk came back from a hunt, in his hand he had held the softest-looking blanket in the world. Flowers and ivies embroidered in intricate repetitive patterns to cover the blanket in its elegance, and Jimin was captivated. It was thicker than most blankets and throw-overs they had in their cabin, and he knew it could keep him warm for many winters to come. Right from the moment when Jimin first caressed the quilt and felt the comfort from its softness, he knew it would be one of the gifts from Jeongguk that would have a special place in his cosy nest, their nest. 

Jimin loved being cuddled to sleep, which made him feel safe and warm. When the moon shone brightly in the night sky and they were both under the covers, Jeongguk pulled Jimin into his chest and carded his fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. It was hard for Jimin to sleep peacefully without holding someone, while Jeongguk couldn’t sleep holding someone. But Jeongguk made a sacrifice on his part. Jimin supposed he only did it so Jimin wouldn’t feel embarrassed.

Each time Jimin said ‘I love you’ to Jeongguk, the alpha would only reply with a kiss on the lips.  Although Jimin appreciated the gesture, he wanted to hear it from him. From the start, he told himself that it was no big deal, Jeongguk was just probably shy. But five years later, the same excuse just couldn’t quench the restlessness of his heart. He supposed he was being too greedy. 

Jeongguk took good care of Jimin, showering him with endless affection. Jimin was genuinely happy throughout their relationship but he wasn't blind to it—Jeongguk was hesitant with everything he did around Jimin as if there was something that was always stopping him. 

Jeongguk had given him so much, so much more than an alpha who—Jimin supposed—unwillingly went into a relationship would ever grant. It was okay if he couldn’t give Jimin his heart.

“Are you okay with that?” Hoseok asked, voice gentle after Jimin regained his composure.

“Of course I’m not!” Jimin didn’t mean to snap, but he was overwhelmed with so many emotions he didn’t know how to contain himself. “I’m sorry…” Jimin muttered dejectedly, pulling his hands from Hoseok to dig his palms on his eyes, controlling his breathing.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Hoseok soothed. He was at a loss for what to do. “Are you two… still together?” 

“No. He — we, uh, ended things a few weeks back.”

“But you still live with him?” Hoseok asked, incredulous.

“Yeah…”  

"But why?"

Jimin could tell Hoseok was trying his best not to explode from anger. His face was so red he looked like he'd combust any second.

“He said I can stay until he mates,” he hesitated before adding, “said he doesn’t w-want me to go.”

He scoffed. “Bullshit,” he muttered under his breath but Jimin heard it. 

Hoseok wiped a hand on his face, infuriated. “Did you try to have a conversation with him? Ask him not to do it?”

Asking Jeongguk to give up his position in the pack was never something that crossed Jimin’s mind because he very well knew that he would never be Jeongguk’s first choice. 

“No. It’s fine, I get it. He has to do this… for his family, and for the pack.” 

Keep lying to yourself.

Hoseok sighed loudly, running a hand on his face again, frustrated that he couldn’t do something, or say anything that would make his friend feel better. 

“I’m sorry that this has to happen. It seriously breaks my heart. I hate that he has to mate an omega to get promoted as the pack alpha. Why can’t it be a beta or even an alpha? Just— anyone. I meant it when I said there’s nothing special about us omegas. Besides, why do they need to mate at all to attain the title? Hasn’t he proven himself enough?”

Hoseok had a point but, “You know it’s tradition.”

“Yeah, those stupid fucking traditions," Hoseok rolled his eyes.

Seeing his friend boldly call out the outdated pack traditions in public made Jimin crack a smile. “Don’t let Omega Sol hear you if you don’t want to get a good beating.”

Hoseok’s face fell, feigning horror when he said, “I’m so scared!”

Hwang Mi Dam was the name of Jeongguk's future mate. 

Jimin meant it when he said he didn't want to know anything related to Jeongguk's future mating but he couldn’t help it when the news came to him.

It was all the pack could talk about the following week. Gushing at how the precious and mighty Jeon Jeongguk was mating an omega of importance. Jeon Jeongguk becoming pack alpha was the best news the pack could have probably received in years it seemed. 

Except it crushed Jimin’s soul, every passing day.   

The fruit picking session was the only time Jimin could take a break from his overwhelming thoughts, but even that was taken away from him when his pack mates endlessly talked about how excited they were about Jeongguk's mating ceremony. They even shamelessly gossiped about how pathetic Jimin was, how he still clung to Jeongguk, but would immediately shut up when Hoseok growled at them, or when they realized Jimin was right there, working silently.   

He heard Hwang Mi Dam was from one of the highly respected families of the Dalbit Pack. He heard he was a well-known omega, admired by all the alphas in every pack for his disarming beauty, agility, and exceptional hunting skills. 

Hwang Mi Dam was basically perfect, and it made sense that he agreed to mate Jeongguk.

Jimin racked his brain for anything that he was good at, anything to make himself feel better about himself but he only came up with two things: he was passionate about knitting and cooking.

He could be a potential mate too, couldn’t he?

For someone. Someday. Maybe, just not Jeongguk.

It was past midnight when Jimin came back to their cabin. 

Hoseok promised that he would always be there for Jimin, and today he did an amazing job distracting him from the pain that found home in his chest, that he completely lost track of the time.  

Jimin could feel eyes on him as he was toeing his shoes off at the foyer. Jeongguk was still up. He usually slept a quarter before 10 pm. 

Deciding to ignore it, he went to the kitchen to get himself some water. He wasn't thirsty, no, he was just trying to give himself some time. Maybe Jeongguk would be asleep after a few minutes and Jimin could peacefully go to bed without looking at the eyes he loved.  

"Where have you been?" Jeongguk asked. It wasn’t accusatory, just genuine curiosity.

"At the Elders’ cabin," he replied, his back to Jeongguk, taking his time to drink the water he actually didn't need.

"This late?" 

"Yeah, I helped with the chores." 

Jeongguk wasn't quite convinced, but he didn't push. Jimin downed the remaining water and went to the bathroom to give himself a good scrub. His heart ached when he saw four huge drums of water filled to the brim.  

Jimin stepped out of the bathroom feeling fresh. All the day's dirt and tiredness washed away from his body. He was confident Jeongguk had fallen asleep, but to his surprise, a pair of big brown eyes were staring right back at him. Jimin blinked, taking a gulp of air before looking away and walking to his side of the bed. He sat down, turning his back to Jeongguk, and proceeded to quietly dry his hair with a soft towel. 

Jimin was adamant on pretending that Jeongguk's eyes weren't boring holes in the back of his head when he spoke softly, "How was your day?" 

He shrugged. "It was alright."

It was a shitty day to be honest, but he did not need to know that. 

"What did you do?"

"Just the usual."

Jeongguk was finally talking after weeks of silence but Jimin couldn't bring himself to enjoy that.

"Don’t you want to know about mine?" he asked, the sound of hurt not escaping Jimin's ears. He would usually ask Jeongguk about his day, be all up in his space as soon as he saw him, like a child not wanting to be away from his parents after a long day but he guessed he couldn't do that now, so he didn't. 

"I heard you found a mate," Jimin said before he could stop himself.

"I… uh, yeah." 

Jimin felt the bed dip on the other side, sensing Jeongguk must’ve pushed himself up on his elbows.

"That's... g-good. Great," Jimin never had a hard time pronouncing words until now. He pressed the towel on his head more firmly, wishing it could dry the fuck up so he could sleep and escape reality for a while. 

Jeongguk stared at Jimin's back, noticing how small he looked. He wanted to hold him, but he was a coward. Instead, he extended his arm and reached for the towel. "Let me help you—"

"Don't," Jimin snapped, recoiling from his touch, rising on the bed and away from him. Jeongguk's hand was left hanging in the air. Jimin had constantly been on edge lately, irritable, and he felt like he could break any second, but he wouldn’t let that happen today.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Jeongguk looked like a kicked puppy, and all Jimin wanted to do was scoop him up in his arms and nuzzle his nose against his neck, but he stopped himself from doing so. He sat back down on the bed after a while to finish drying his hair.

"Do you like him?" Jimin asked distractedly. It had been bothering him so much that it was all he could think about lately.

"Who?"

"Your mate."

"He's not my mate… yet," Jeongguk reasoned, and Jimin could bet all of his sweet-smelling body and hair oil that he was frowning right now. Jeongguk sighed, "Yes. He's... likable."

Jimin hummed, hating the way those little words pierced his heart.

Chapter Text

Jimin was bored out of his mind. Tragically, and wholly bored. 

He had just finished his morning duties in the pack, and since Hoseok said he could drop by any time he wanted, there he was, perched on a rocking chair that was probably older than he was, in Hoseok and Namjoon’s cabin, chomping on his fourth loaf of bread. 

Their cabin wasn't much different from his and Jeongguk's, except that this one was a little bigger, and smelled strongly of Namjoon and Hoseok. Mates. 

Hoseok and Namjoon's cabin was more vibrant, decorated with different flowers all over. Namjoon's crossbow and hunting sword were placed on the far side of their house, visible but not enough to intimidate the visitors.  

The hunting weapons were a huge contrast to what Jimin assumed were some of the courting gifts Hoseok received from Namjoon. There were multi-colored tunics, roses that had dried up over time, and handmade shoes that Jimin knew Hoseok hoarded. They were all sitting neatly on top of Hoseok's dresser, each within their own treen container. Hoseok was sentimental like that. It made Jimin smile but it was gone just as fast. 

If Jimin had received courting gifts, he would've displayed them, and flaunted them in his cabin too. Just so whoever visited their cabin could see that he, too, was courted by his lover. But Jimin wasn't, so he didn't have any gifts to boast about.

Before when he was courting Jeongguk, he had received many courting gifts from alphas in their pack who were interested in him. But he returned each of them, because he had his eyes only for Jeongguk. Besides, courting gifts didn't mean much to him, or at least that was how he tried to convince himself.

"Courting gifts?" 

Hoseok stopped smoothing the fabric of the tunic he was folding, and looked in Jimin’s direction. He gave a small smile. "Yeah, from Joon." 

He said that while staring at the gifts, sounding nostalgic, as if he went back to the past, and was able to experience everything for the first time all over again. 

"Nice," he replied, then took a bite out of his fifth piece of bread.

“I thought you weren’t hungry?” He didn’t have to look at Hoseok to know that his friend was judging him. 

“‘m not.”

Hoseok snorted. “Isn’t that, like, your twelfth one?”

Jimin’s head snapped in his direction, and the sudden movement sounded a lot like cracking his bones. “For your information, this is just my fifth one. Fifth ."

"I see no difference," Hoseok rolled his eyes and focused on his task, satisfied by his friend's reaction. 

Jimin opened his mouth to give a witty retort  but gave up as soon as the thought crossed his mind, continuing to enjoy his fifth loaf. He could never win against Hoseok. 

"Hey—"

"If you're just going to roast my ass, shut it—”

“Can you please clean your mouth? You look like you’ve grown a mustache with all those bread crumbs.” Hoseok giggled when Jimin sputtered, hastily wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I swear you have the worst table manners.”

“It’s only because the bread is delicious!” Jimin argued. “And I’m not even eating on a table, I’m sitting on a chair.” 

“Yes, my chair, and you’re making a mess all over my cabin.”

“I’ll clean up," Jimin said, embarrassed. His cheeks were heating up.

“I was just kidding, brat.” Hoseok threw his head back in laughter. 

Jimin sulked.

“Jimin—”

“What.” Jimin glared.

He chuckled before asking, “What’s your type?”

“Type?” Jimin’s whole face turned into a question mark.

“Yeah, like your ideal type.”

“Oh.” 

Hoseok gave him a look that said dumbass .

“I don’t know.”

Hoseok groaned. Jimin stopped chomping on the bread, feeling full.  

“Tall,” Jimin said. Hoseok perked up, putting the last piece of clothing on the pile of the folded ones.

“And?”

“...buff.”

“And?” Hoseok leaned closer to him, batting his eyelashes, interest piqued. 

“Tan. Someone with round pretty eyes, a-and they have to be brown too! Someone whose nose scrunches up when they laugh—"

"You mean Jeongguk." Hoseok said matter-of-factly.

"No—" And then it dawned on him. "Wait." 

Jimin hadn't even realized he was describing Jeongguk. Besides, how was he supposed to know what his type was? He had only ever been with Jeongguk, only ever had his eyes for him.

Hoseok sighed when he saw Jimin deflate. He reached for his hands, and hoped the gentleness in his touch could somehow comfort his friend.

"It's okay to be sad about it."

"I'm not! I-It's totally fine— I mean— I'm fine—Jeongguk h-he's… he's not the only alpha out there." Jimin's voice got quieter as he finished the sentence.

Hoseok twined their fingers, rubbing his thumb reassuringly on top of Jimin's hand. "Right? He's not the only alpha out there! It's his loss, not yours. You're a beautiful, alluring beta. A lot of alphas are drooling over you, you just have to open your eyes. You'll find someone." He assured, looking straight into his friend's eyes. He needed him to know . 

"Yeah. I'll—find someone." Jimin nodded, and then nodded again as if trying to reassure himself. 

"Good! That's a start. I'm gonna introduce you to someone." Hoseok said cheerfully, swinging Jimin's hands to and fro, making him laugh.

Jimin shook his head timidly, brown locks falling over his eyes. "No, thanks." Hoseok raised his brows. "I don't want to date anyone… yet." 

"Okay. No dating then. Just friends?" 

Jimin narrowed his eyes. "Why do I not trust you?" 

"Park Jimin, I am offended. What do you mean you don't trust me? Did I not prove myself worthy of your trust?" Hoseok faked an affronted expression causing Jimin to giggle. "Anyway, he's wanted to meet you since forever but that knucklehead is shy as fuck and has the biggest, fattest crush on you."

"Crush?" Jimin frowned.

"Yeah, dummy. A crush. I love Namjoon, okay? He's perfect and all that but if I were an alpha, Park Jimin, you're an eleven on ten, would definitely fucking bang!" Hoseok was pretty much yelling by now, and Jimin couldn't contain his laughter when he saw his veins almost pop out on his neck and how red his face had gotten.

He fake gagged. "Ew, no, please! Spare me." They laughed heartily, holding on to their bellies. 

"So… is that fine with you?" Hoseok asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Jimin supposed Hoseok could tell him to hold on a little more—maybe Jeongguk would change his mind, and choose Jimin, and then they could live happily ever after—but Hoseok wasn't one to spew bullshit and give people false hope.

Jimin knew Hoseok didn't mean to push him, this was just his way of taking care of him, and it felt nice to have someone like him who genuinely cared for him. 

And this, too, was fine, or so he told himself. Having another friend wouldn't hurt him, perhaps that was probably what he needed right now.

"Just friends," Jimin bobbed his head.

"Just friends!" Hoseok grinned, his mouth turning into a perfect heart shape.

"Okay."

Jimin went home that night to find Jeongguk curled up, and sound asleep on Jimin's side of the bed, lips slightly parted as he snored. He looked so soft Jimin allowed himself a little smile. 

That night, he realized their home didn't smell like them at all. It only smelled of Jeongguk, like forest, dried leaves, damp moss, and tree trunks. It smelled faintly of Jimin, barely there.

He was a beta after all.

Jimin did meet him, Ha Yoonsung. 

He knew of him, he had seen him during meals in the dining hall, and he was pretty sure he had seen him at the pack's garden, hanging out with Namjoon and Hoseok. Apparently Yoonsung had been in this pack his whole life but oddly enough, Jimin never interacted with him. Well, he didn't have many alpha friends to begin with. Hoseok chided, and told him it was a sign that he needed to go outside more often, and touch some grass.

"I go to the pack's garden every other day with you to pick fruits and take care of the plants! I'm pretty sure I touch enough grass!" Jimin rolled his eyes. Hoseok stuck his tongue out at him, Jimin did the same, belatedly reminded that someone else was with them, flushing furiously.

It was incredibly awkward at first, and it was entirely Jimin's fault. He was too shy to even lift his head, and look at him but thankfully Yoonsung didn't force it either which was appreciated. But Hoseok was neither of them, and he forced them to shake hands, and introduce themselves to each other. Jimin did with a stiff smile, Ha Yoonsung with one that reached the sky. 

"Pleased to meet you, Jimin," Yoonsung grinned, squeezing his hands lightly to show his enthusiasm. He had a nice set of teeth, Jimin thought.

"The feeling is mutual," Jimin did his best to smile as wide as Yoonsung did while unconsciously standing on his tiptoes for a moment, making Hoseok and Yoonsung coo. 

Ha Yoonsung looked really nice. He had fair skin, a tall nose that suited his face perfectly.. Hair reaching just past his ear framed his face, a few strands fell on his forehead softening his look. And the way his almond eyes squinted when he smiled exuded an aura of comfort around him, instantly making you want to be his friend.

And that’s what they were to each other. They were just friends.  

He and Yoonsung got along pretty well, much to Hoseok's pleasure. Hoseok joked about being a matchmaker, he seemed to have a knack for it. Jimin twisted his ears, and told him he could keep dreaming. 

It was easy to be around Yoonsung. Jimin was able to let go of his initial fears about having a new alpha friend. Yoonsung wormed his way into Jimin's life seamlessly, as if he had always been there. 

Yoonsung surprisingly looked after Jimin really well. Initially, Jimin was afraid he would be an  overbearing type of an alpha, especially since Yoonsung seemed to really like him, but he wasn't like that at all. He was respectful of Jimin, and didn't ask much from him in return. Just their friendship.

He helped Jimin clean up the mess the pups left after his daily reading sessions, talked to Jimin animatedly about everything under the sun to make sure the beta wouldn't get bored. Yoonsung sure did have a lot of stories to tell. 

He always tagged along with Jimin, and Hoseok to wherever they went, whatever they did as long as he was free. He was their plus one to everything the two of them did now.

He went fruit picking with them too, and today it was just the three of them. The garden still looked as refreshing as the first time, and Jimin supposed it was amazing how these trees and plants could provide so much, and in return, all they needed to do was take care of them.

Fruit picking is a little bit harder than it seems, especially with taller trees. There had been situations where the fruits missed the net, and whacked Jimin straight in his face, leaving his cheeks a little swollen, and bruised for a day. Jeongguk would laugh at him when it happened, but he would always kiss it away, and then rush to the pack healers to ask for some salve. Jimin groaned at that invasive thought, accidentally catching his friends' attention. He just shrugged, and told them he was fine. Just fruit picking.

Since Yoonsung was taller than them, he could easily get the ripe fruits from the tallest trees easily, with the help of the wooden pole. If Jimin let Yoonsung help, the work would be a lot faster, and easier but he was a stubborn beta, and outright refused. He had been doing this for years, and he was perfectly capable of this task. What could possibly go wrong?

"Need a hand?" Yoonsung offered when he saw Jimin struggling on his tiptoes. 

"No, I'm good!" He smiled, and turned back to his work. Jimin kept reaching for this particular mango on the right side of the tree, his hands starting to go numb. The mango was caught on the net already but it didn't seem to want to separate itself from its stem so Jimin pulled forcefully, and he must've pulled too hard because before he knew it, he was falling backward. He shut his eyes tightly, bracing himself for the impact when his back hit the ground. He was so ready to walk home shamed-face, with a tunic filled with ground dirt.

But it didn't happen. 

Pines. The smell of pines was suddenly so potent, so close. Strong arms around him, one over his waist and the other wrapped around his shoulders, holding him gently.

When Jimin opened his eyes, Yoonsung was looking at him with his contagious goofy smile. Jimin's eyes went comically wide, and immediately pushed Yoonsung away from him with an awkward laugh. He didn’t like them being too close. For some reason, the thought of  Jimin smelling like another alpha made him nauseous. It was still early, hopefully by the time he was home it’d be gone.

Jimin dusted off the non-existent dirt on his tunic. “Thank you for being such a nice guy, and actually helping me. Unlike that person. ” He taunted but it was futile, Hoseok paid him no mind, and continued to shamelessly laugh at Jimin’s face. Jimin wanted to stomp his feet.

Yoonsung reached out, and pinched Jimin's cheeks that were no doubt dusted with pink. "You're welcome. Next time, learn how to accept help from others, hm?" he laughed.

Jimin finally looked him in the eye. "That won't happen again, I swear! I just—the pole—mango—it was the mango’s fault!" He didn't know what he was even trying to say, flailing his arms in the air as if that would make him less embarrassed. 

Yoonsung cracked up again and ruffled Jimin's hair. "Yeah, right. I think we need to punish that mango." 

Jimin didn't miss Hoseok's shit-eating grin. He prayed to the Moon Goddess that Hoseok chokes on a mango seed.

After a long, tiring but surprisingly fun day, he was finally home. Today passed a little quicker than his normal day. Maybe because after a while, he actually enjoyed it. If Jimin was honest, he wanted tomorrow to come quickly so he could spend more time with his friends. 

While humming a song like he usually did, Jimin opened the door to their cabin hearing the familiar creak of it as it opened, and slowly closed it behind him. Jimin was surprised to see Jeongguk home so early, it was only 8 pm. But then he remembered Jeongguk had gone off a little before dawn to go to Dalbit Pack to officially ask for the hand of Hwang Mi Dam, His future mate. Jimin felt bile rise in his throat.

Jeongguk got up from where he was sitting on the bed when he saw Jimin, looking a little lost. He was chewing on his lower lip, and he seemed restless.

“Is something wrong?” Jimin asked. He was stupid like that, asking if Jeongguk was okay when it felt like his own heart was being squeezed in his chest. He stepped into Jeongguk’s space instinctively to reach out, and cradle his face like he always did to comfort him only to step back when he realized what he was doing. Jimin did his best to ignore the hurt in Jeongguk’s expression. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Jimin asked again when Jeongguk remained motionless, just looking at him as if he was trying to memorize every feature of his face, making Jimin self-conscious.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathed. “I just… I missed you.” 

Well, that was something Jimin didn't expect. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it just as quickly, what could he possibly say.

Jeongguk reached for Jimin’s hands tentatively, as if he was expecting him to recoil but when he didn’t, he wrapped his hands around Jimin’s. Jeongguk brushed his thumb on every single knuckle. Jimin shuddered. 

“I have been really busy lately, haven’t been home. I’m sorry I haven’t been home lately.” Jeongguk’s voice was barely a whisper, and the way he was behaving baffled Jimin. He tried to pull his hands from Jeongguk’s hold without much force but the alpha didn’t let him.

Jimin frowned. “You don’t have to apologize for not being home. You—you don’t have to be home.” He pulled his hands again, and this time he was successful. 

“Jimin—”

“I understand. I get it.”

“You haven’t been home often either. You always come home late.” Jeongguk mumbled.

“I have my duties—”

“I know, b-but even then you used to come home early. We don’t talk like we used to. I don’t even know anything about your day anymore. You’re always out, are you avoiding me? It’s like you never want to be home—”

“Do you expect me to be here all the time? Of course I go out and take care of my pack duties, and spend time with my friends. I need to go out. Am I not even allowed to do that? Jeongguk, I—I can’t be alone in this hell-hole every day!” 

Jimin didn’t care about it before, he didn’t mind being confined in their cabin the whole day if he was free from his duties. He used to come home to their cabin after his duties to cook, and wait for Jeongguk, relishing in Jeongguk’s scent that was left lingering in their cabin. But now, he couldn’t even think of doing any of that. The thought of going home, and seeing their memories etched in every corner of their cabin that would soon turn to dust made Jimin wish he never knew what a home was.

Jeongguk recoiled in shock, visibly unable to process Jimin’s words. “ What? Hell-hole?”

“Yes! Hell-hole! ” Jimin repeated, frustrated. He wished he could tell Jeongguk everything that was on his mind, but he wouldn't. He'd save them both the pain. Jeongguk took a deep breath, and looked away from Jimin, he looked seconds from breaking and Jimin hated that he couldn’t stop himself from feeling like it was his fault.

“I understand why you had to leave me—why we had to end things. Now, you have to understand the things I have to do for myself.” Jimin said through gritted teeth. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

“You can take your time! I’m—not rushing you.”

“I know.”

Jeongguk blinked rapidly. “Let me help you find a new home. I know a cabin that’s—”

“It’s fine. I found one already.” That was a lie but Jeongguk didn’t need to know that.

Jeongguk nodded, defeated. He looked like he wanted to say something so Jimin waited. “Shall we eat? It’s been a while since we had a meal together. I made some braised pork from the meat I got—” 

From your mate. I know.

"No."

Jimin couldn’t sleep. He had been trying to fall asleep for a couple of hours already. No matter how he buried his nose in his quilt blanket or how many whispers of sleep sleep sleep he had said in his mind, it wasn’t helping at all. Besides the fact that he needed to hold somebody to sleep properly, his mind wouldn’t let him rest, running a thousand miles. It was especially hard to fall asleep tonight, and by the way the rickety bed kept on moving, Jimin assumed Jeongguk was awake too. 

He closed his eyes, and repeated the mantra of sleep in his mind, hoping this time it would work.

"Jimin?" A voice startled him from his thoughts but he paid it no heed. "Are you awake?" 

"I am." 

"I want to hold you. Is that okay?" Jeongguk whispered softly, voice so gentle. Jeongguk had been acting a little strange today, like he wasn't really himself, on the verge of something. Sometimes, Jimin forgets that between the two of them, it was Jeongguk who was softer, easier to break, and cried more often. 

"Yeah, okay." 

Jimin felt Jeongguk scooting closer, and then a few moments later, a hand was wrapped around his torso while the other was on top of his head. Jimin's breath hitched. The heat of Jeongguk's body was nice. It had been so long since they did this that Jimin had almost forgotten how pleasant it felt to be this close to Jeongguk. They were so close that Jimin could feel Jeongguk’s breath on his nape, and his heartbeat on his back. 

Jeongguk searched for Jimin's hand, and when he found it, engulfed it on his own. Suddenly, he felt Jeongguk nosing his neck gently, giving Jimin time to pull away. But Jimin didn't, blaming it on his drowsiness. 

Jeongguk brushed his nose up, and down his nape, and then side to side, slowly, as if he didn't want to miss a spot. Jimin felt the way Jeongguk's lips brushed on his neck, his grip on his blanket tightened.

Jeongguk was scent-marking him. 

The last time Jeongguk scent-marked him was six months ago, when he got jealous over an alpha who made a move on Jimin because he thought he was single. Although he smelled like Jeongguk, Jimin still didn't have a mating mark. Wolves his age were supposed to be mated already. Jeongguk had abandoned his pack duties the next day in favor of scent-marking Jimin to the point that Jimin felt lightheaded but he didn't complain. He loved it. Loved being Jeongguk's.

He was Jeongguk's. He used to be. Not anymore, but Jimin let him. He let himself have this. 

Maybe Jimin was finally starting to accept everything. Maybe he had finally accepted that all of this wasn't meant to be his. 

Jimin laced their fingers together, holding Jeongguk's calloused but warm hand tightly close to his heart.

One last time.

The pack had been expecting Hwang Mi Dam's—along with his family, and some of their pack members—arrival since last week, and there wasn't a single soul in their pack who didn't know about it. Even the pups were talking about it. Well, their pack did prepare a lot for their arrival, maybe more than they did during the Full Moon. 

An omega of importance from a highly respected family.

Hwang Mi Dam lived up to everything that everyone claimed him to be. In that moment, as Mi Dam stood in front of everyone, hands linked with Jeongguk's arms, even Jimin could attest to that. Mi Dam's skin was illuminated by the light coming from the bonfire, and everyone marvelled at how beautiful he was. He made everyone want to be his mate. He made everyone want to be him.

Jimin could do nothing but watch. He was sandwiched between Hoseok and Yoonsung. Hoseok was holding Jimin's left hand that he forcefully held but now Jimin was grateful for it, while Yoonsung had a gentle hand on his back as if Jimin was going to fall any second. They kept asking Jimin every damn second if he was okay. 

Of course, he was fine. Why wouldn't he be okay?

He was in the middle of the crowd along with his pack as they all gathered to listen to the Jeons and the Elders announce Jeon Jeongguk and Hwang Mi Dam's mating in three weeks. As if everyone didn't know already. As if Jimin didn't already know that. Nonetheless, the pack howled in joy, celebrating the future union. Jimin wondered how pathetic he looked as he stood there, unable to do anything but watch and fake a smile, pretending that he was happy for the two of them like the rest of the pack. 

Jimin's mind might be tripping him but when he made the mistake of looking in Jeongguk's way, he caught the alpha already staring at him. As if he had been waiting for Jimin to look but he supposed that was just his pathetic wishful thinking. 

"Don't worry, we're gonna eat a lot of meat later," Yoonsung assured, leaning down as he excitedly murmured in Jimin's ears. "Did anyone tell you that I'm a prodigy at grilling meat? Once you taste it, you'll surely regret eating meat that is not cooked by me."

Jimin couldn't help but laugh at that. "As if putting a string of meat over a fire pit is so impressive." 

"Jimin, one. Yoonsung, zero." Hoseok chaffed, throwing his head back in laughter. Jimin snatched his hand from Hoseok's hold in favor of tickling his friend's side, and that was a wrong move because Hoseok yelped, luckily, Yoonsung was quick and he slapped a hand on Hoseok's mouth. 

At least they get to eat, and enjoy luxurious food tonight.

As promised, after the announcement, everyone was given the remaining of the night to do whatever they wanted. No pack curfews. Some went home, and chose to rest while the others like Jimin chose to stay and hang out with Yoonsung and Hoseok. Namjoon joined them after he was also freed from his pack duties. 

Yoonsung wasn't lying when he said he was a prodigy; he did grill the meat nicely, but Jimin was never telling him that. Yoonsung was kind enough to grill the meat for them, ran to get Jimin a drink when he bit more than he could chew and choked on the meat, rubbed a hand on his back, and of course he also laughed at him. But Yoonsung might've cooked too much, they were all full when he still had a plate full of food in his hand. 

"Jimin? No more?" He asked, looking genuinely confused.

"I'm so full. My stomach's going to fucking burst." Jimin said, and as if to prove his statement, burped loudly. Hoseok almost toppled over in laughter, luckily Namjoon was there to catch him. "Excuse me," Jimin said shyly.

"But I cooked for you guys." Yoonsung sulked.

"We're grateful dude, but I think you cooked too much. Where do you think we're going to fit all that?" Namjoon said, caressing Hoseok's stomach with a fond laugh when his mate burped next. 

The three of them talked more after that but Jimin failed to follow as he started to space out. He remained seated on the logs next to Yoonsung, across Namjoon and Hoseok, watching as the pack lost themselves in the festivity. 

He, too, got carried away watching the warm ambient that graced the dancing souls around the blazing fire. 

Amidst that cherishment, he turned his head to the further right which turned out to be the biggest mistake Jimin ever made that night. He caught a glimpse of Jeongguk and Mi Dam dancing. Mi Dam's arms were wrapped around Jeongguk's neck while Jeongguk's well-defined, muscular arms were on Mi Dam's waist, looking like they belonged there. Their faces were just a breath away from each other, Mi Dam was smiling, and it made him look even prettier and although Jimin couldn't see Jeongguk's face as he wasn't facing Jimin's direction, he supposed he was probably smiling too, just as happy as Mi Dam was. 

Jimin turned back around and although replete, snatched another barbecued meat from Yoonsung to devour.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Yoonsung asked, heavily concerned at Jimin’s sudden change of demeanor. 

“N-Nothing. This—is spicy, damn! It’s making me tear up.” Jimin sniffled, wiping at his eyes and then at the sweat that accumulated at his forehead. He forced the meat down his throat, feeling like there was a lump inside.

Yoonsung was not convinced. They hadn’t been friends for that long but he knew Jimin was good with spicy food. And the barbecue wasn’t even spicy to begin with. He looked around, searching for whatever it was that Jimin saw that brought sadness into his eyes. And when he saw them, he easily understood why. 

“Want a drink?”

Jimin tilted his head up to look at him. “Yes, thank you.” 

Yoonsung ruffled his hair dotingly before moving out of his sight.

Chapter Text

"You invited Yoonsung?" Namjoon asked, incredulous. 

Namjoon and Hoseok had been celebrating their mating anniversary every single year unfailingly. It wasn't anything grand. They just liked to invite their friends, Jeongguk and Jimin, for a meal. Most couples would prefer celebrating it alone, spending quality time together but they weren't like most couples. And this year wasn't any different, they invited their friends too. Except, there was an addition. 

Yoonsung.

"Of course, I invited him! Baby, he's my friend too—he's your friend." Hoseok looked over his shoulder to peek at Jimin and Yoonsung who were left at the table, both looking confused. Namjoon excused himself and dragged Hoseok to the kitchen as soon he saw Yoonsung enter with Jimin. 

"I know, baby, but we don't usually invite him." Namjoon frowned.

He was right. They didn't invite him last year, or the year before that. They never invited him because he used to be nothing but a close acquaintance but things had changed in a short amount of time.

Hoseok huffed. "There's always a first for everything." 

"But Jeongguk will be here, too. Did you even think of that? What if he and Yoonsung—what if they—" Namjoon sighed. "What do you think Jeongguk would feel?"

Hoseok could literally feel the heat travel from his toes to his fucking head. "Well, Jeongguk can suck it the fuck up. He and Jimin aren't dating anymore. Why should I care about how he feels when he didn't even bother to care about how Jimin would feel when he abandoned him just like that? Tell me—"

Namjoon was aware of how much Hoseok cared for his friend, and it was only natural for his mate to react this way. He pressed their lips together to shush him. Hoseok was getting too loud, carried away by his emotions. 

Thankfully, Yoonsung was smart enough to catch on to what was happening, distracting Jimin with a stupid magic trick to which Jimin responded in awe of. As gullible as a child. 

"Baby, I need you to calm down." Namjoon pleaded, holding Hoseok carefully by the shoulder. Hoseok was about to retort something again. "Please?" 

"So annoying," he rolled his eyes. Namjoon leaned down to match Hoseok's eye-level and left a peck on his cheek. Hoseok smiled, always so weak to his mate's charm.

"Jeongguk… he's suffering too—believe it or not—he is. I've been the only one who he can talk to so believe me when I say this is hard for him, too. The night when the Dalbit visited our pack, I overheard him fighting with his parents, and I don't know if I should say this but—Jeongguk—he's doing something. I think he's doing something. Let's just hope everything works out." 

"I don't want Jimin to get his hopes up."

"He won't because you won't tell him anything. Okay, baby?" 

Nodding, Namjoon left another kiss on his cheek before they went back to their seats, smiling as if nothing happened. Yoonsung was looking at them with questioning eyes but he didn't dare voice them out while Jimin was cluelessly smiling at them. 

"What happened?" Jimin asked.

"Nothing." Hoseok replied, but when Jimin narrowed his eyes at him he said, "I think our Joonie is a little excited for tonight's show ." 

When it occurred to Jimin what he meant, his face turned beet red, screaming blasphemies at Hoseok, and making everyone in the room laugh at his cuteness.

It had been almost three days since Jimin had last seen Jeongguk. Three days since he hadn't come 'home'. Three days after the night he saw them dancing while holding each other. 

That night, going home was the last thing in Jimin's mind. He didn't think he was wanted there—no, he wasn't. So, he asked Hoseok if he could stay the night. Luckily, his friend didn't ask why, he just welcomed him with open arms.

There were actually rumors that Jeongguk brought Mi Dam to their cabin. Jeongguk brought his future mate to their cabin. There were rumors that they slept together. Jeongguk might have held another omega the way he used to hold him. Jimin imagined their bodies exploring each other under the blankets. Limbs intertwined, hearts in sync. Warm and intimate.

But who cares, it wasn't any of Jimin's business who Jeongguk slept with. Jimin told himself he didn't care if Jeongguk fucked another omega. An omega who was his future mate. Jimin wouldn't be surprised if Jeongguk and Mi Dam had already been intimate. The omega was undeniably gorgeous, and irresistible. He wondered if Jeongguk had left a mark on Mi Dam's neck, and that thought alone drove Jimin mad with sadness, and anger.

Whenever he and Jeongguk made love, Jeongguk touched him at all the right places. He knew what Jimin loved, where Jimin wanted it but there was always hesitation from Jeongguk. He always held himself back. When Jimin confronted him about it, Jeongguk admitted that he was afraid he'd accidentally mate Jimin, as if mating Jimin repulsed him. Sometimes, Jimin wished Jeongguk would just say fuck it and sink his teeth into his neck. But he knew Jeongguk would never defy his duty as the pack’s alpha.

Jimin was seeing Jeongguk today for the first time in three days, and the way his heart beat loudly in his chest infuriated him to no extent. Even more so because he had no control over it. 

Jimin knew Jeongguk had arrived from the way his smell of damp moss, dried leaves, and tree trunks sneaked up to him

"I'm sorry for being late. I had matters to attend to." Jeongguk apologized as soon as he entered the room. 

"Don't fret! You're just on time." Namjoon answered assuredly.

Everyone got up from their seats to bow to Jeongguk, their soon-to-be pack alpha. Jeongguk inwardly groaned at them.  

"You know that you don't have to do that. Besides, it feels so fake when you guys do it."

"We pay you respect, and you say it's fake. I see how it is." Namjoon chuckled.

"You're my friends, for fuck's sake."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Pack Alpha." Hoseok snorted. 

"Let's take our seats and eat, please. I'm starving." Namjoon said.

Jeongguk took his seat across from Jimin who was adamant about avoiding eye contact. Yoonsung was sitting beside Jimin. Hoseok was next to Namjoon who was beside Jeongguk.

When Jeongguk's eyes landed on Yoonsung, and the latter held eye contact, the tension became so palpable in the air that Hoseok clutched on Namjoon's tunic to ask him for help, and Namjoon mouthed a calm down, it's okay. Yoonsung broke into one of his goofy smiles that Jeongguk reciprocated stiffly, successfully dissolving the tension, at least from Yoonsung’s end.

They finally decided to eat. The couple claimed they didn’t prepare much, just enough for the three of them but Jimin thought they prepared a whole fucking feast. Hoseok prepared Namjoon’s favorite seolleongtang, and hoddeok. There was bulgogi and undoubtedly, kimchi. The feast would be incomplete without it. Jimin grinned at Hoseok when he saw a plate of steamed rice cake. He remembered whining to his friend about craving some. Hoseok winked back at him.

Jimin didn't hesitate to dig in, he was starving. He had been too preoccupied with other things lately that he barely had the appetite or the time to eat properly and his stomach probably wanted to punish him for it, and so it growled. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on him, and they were all sporting a surprised expression that shortly turned into merriment, except Jeongguk. He seemed troubled. 

“Oops, I’m sorry,” Jimin simpered, not apologetic at all.

“It’s alright, eat—” Jeongguk was about to put more beef in Jimin's bowl but Yoonsung beat him to it. 

“Eat up!” Yoonsung beamed, ruffling Jimin’s hair. 

Jimin stiffened but then smiled at him gingerly. “Thanks.”

Jeongguk stabbed his chopsticks in his bowl of food, startling the scaredy-cat Hoseok. Jimin gulped, feeling Jeongguk’s anger rolling off of him in waves. 

Throughout the whole exchange, Jeongguk’s eyes were fixed on them, jaw clenched tightly. He wasn’t subtle about the way he glared at Yoonsung or at the places where his hand had touched Jimin. Hoseok and Namjoon shared a look, eyes both wide. Namjoon was able to stay neutral headed about it, but Hoseok wasn’t Namjoon. He pursed his lips to hide his smile but the way his cheeks protruded made it so obvious. Yoonsung was the only one who didn’t seem bothered. Jimin focused on chewing the sticky rice cake, he was too hungry for this shit.

Everyone thanked Hoseok for the feast he had prepared. Although it was a given that Namjoon didn't help cook because that man couldn't even cut an onion properly for the life of him but they thanked him anyway. 

"What are you guys thanking me for?" Namjoon laughed.

"For washing the meat, and veggies so well." Jimin chided. 

"Hey!" 

Everyone giggled at their banter. Namjoon might look like a tough alpha, and Jimin was initially intimidated by him, but he was a softie, a gentle alpha. 

"Oh, there's steamed rice cake," Yoonsung realized belatedly. "Jimin, weren't you craving for some?" He asked rhetorically and then picked up some to place on the omega's bowl. 

"How did you know that? Are you spying on me?" Jimin squinted his eyes and ate the rice cake Yoonsung put on his bowl.

"I know everything about you." Yoonsung smirked. Jimin pinched his side.

"Ow!"  

After a while, Jimin's eyes strayed to Jeongguk, and he noticed that the alpha wasn’t really eating. He was just poking the food with his chopsticks that he was holding too tightly. He occasionally picked up bits of his food, and chewed them tardily. He didn’t look at Jimin anymore but he was still upset, at least that much was obvious. Jimin wanted to reach out to him, and tell him it wasn’t what he thought it was. An upset Jeongguk was never Jimin’s favorite, but he supposed it didn't matter.

The duration of the meal was pleasant, except for the brooding alpha sat across from him. It went so much better than he had expected. He was afraid that someone would mention Jeongguk’s mating, and Jimin would have to deal with the pain while facing Jeongguk. Thankfully, his friends were sensitive enough to not to mention anything about it, and mostly stuck to mundane, light topics. 

Amidst their dining table conversation, Jimin started to feel a sharp pain in his stomach. It could only be because he ate too much, and too quickly. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, but Jimin managed by rubbing soothing circles on his tummy while still being completely involved in the conversation.

After another half hour, Yoonsung left for the pack duties that he was actually late for. Then Jeongguk followed. 

"I have to leave, too," Jeongguk's gaze landed on Jimin who was resting his head down on the table. Jeongguk would have thought he was asleep if he hadn’t seen his hand moving on his stomach. He averted his gaze. "Thanks for the meal." He said to Hoseok and Namjoon before walking out the door. 

"I have to go too, baby," Namjoon said, kissing a pouty Hoseok.

"Bye." 

There was a bit more shuffling. Jimin could hear the sound of the bowls, and plates clattering, Hoseok was clearing the table. Jimin wanted to help but maybe after the pain in his stomach lessened. Then he could offer to wash the dishes.

"Jimin, are you dead?" Hoseok asked. 

"I wish." 

Hoseok chuckled. "But seriously, what's wrong? You've been like that since Kook left. Miss him already?" 

Jimin groaned but didn't bother lifting his head up. "No! I think I have indigestion."

"Take a shit?" 

"I think I'm… constipated too." Jimin said, embarrassed. What a way to start the day. 

Hoseok had the audacity to fucking laugh. "Tough luck."

It was moments like this that Jimin regretted befriending Hoseok. Unless someone was in a life or death situation, he couldn't rely on him to be serious. Jimin let him be, though, so used to it.

Jimin left for the spare room in the cabin that he had been staying in. Lying down wouldn't help his stupid stomach ache so he plopped himself on the edge of the mattress instead, still rubbing his stomach hoping it would do something. He could go out, and ask for some tea from the healers but that would require him to go out and he didn't want to. He wasn't ready to face the judgemental stares or the ridicule he might get from some of the pack members, not that he wasn't used to it. His stomach be damned. 

He was so close to ramming his head into the wall when someone knocked on the door. 

"Hoseok, I swear—" Jimin started, ready to yell at his friend just in case he tried to make fun of him but then he remembered that Hoseok never knocked. "Uhm, who's there?"

"Can I come in?" 

Jimin froze at the voice. He was expecting anyone but Jeongguk. His heart started to race uncontrollably, much to his chagrin. He punched his own chest weakly, hoping his heart would calm down a little.

"Okay?"

And then Jeongguk came into sight. He had seen Jeongguk not even an hour ago but seeing him like this, when they were alone in a room, felt different.

"Did you need anything?" Jimin asked. Jeongguk didn't answer, instead he stepped forward and closer to Jimin to pull his hand where he was absentmindedly digging his left thumbnail onto the flesh of his right arm, again. Jimin then followed Jeongguk's gaze at his arm and there he saw a small but visible cut. He had no idea it existed in the first place. Lately, he had no time for anything but zoning out. "Oh, sorry. Force of habit," he said, covering the cut.

Jeongguk just sighed before carefully handing Jimin a teacup with what looked like chamomile tea. "I asked the healers for something that can help with stomach pain, and they gave me this. Drink it, alright? Your tummy should feel fine after. If it doesn’t, then tell m-me." 

For a moment, Jimin was just looking at Jeongguk, flabbergasted. He was so sure no one noticed, but here Jeongguk was. Jimin felt like he could cry right there and then. Jeongguk was not supposed to care. He shouldn't care. He shouldn't make Jimin feel like he cares. But then again Jeongguk would probably do the same for his friends. He was a kind alpha like that.

He took the teacup from Jeongguk's hand and mumbled, "Thanks." 

Jimin expected Jeongguk to leave in an instant but much to his misery, he stayed unmoving. He was still standing in front of Jimin.

"Are you going to guard me to make sure I drink the tea?" Jimin forced a laugh. Jeongguk didn't respond.

"When will you come home?" Jeongguk asked, voice barely a whisper. Jimin had to strain his ears to hear what he said. Jeongguk avoided his gaze as soon as the words left his mouth, finding a sudden interest in the floor. 

The question came as a surprise to him, and his heart almost fluttered at the thought that Jeongguk wanted him to be home, to be with him. But then he caught a whiff of someone else's scent on Jeongguk. 

Mi Dam.

How close must they have been for the omega's scent to cling this much to Jeongguk? Jimin did not wish to know.

"Please, come home?" Jeongguk pleaded, and oh God his voice. His voice made Jimin weak. Made him want to give in. 

Jimin placed the teacup on the bedside table with trembling hands. "I want you to leave." 

"Jimin—"

" Now !"

"I will. I—Just please tell me if your stomach—"

Jimin brought his hands by his side to brace for the waves of shivers that were ready to spill out the dam inside him.He could feel his jaws and teeth clenching to contain himself, but the overwhelming feeling consumed him. "Fucking leave!" 

His eyelashes began fluttering to fight the heavy tear droplets when he saw Jeongguk fumbling with his hands, clearly unable to speak. The cold chills grew colder and sharper with its prickles when Jimin watched Jeongguk break their eye contact to slowly turn on his heels and walk out of his sight. Exactly how Jimin worded out. 

Jimin immediately regretted raising his voice at Jeongguk like that. He hated the way he made Jeongguk flinch. He hated the way Jeongguk looked scared of him. Jimin didn't mean to snap at Jeongguk but as soon as that scent hit his nose, he just… lost it. 

It was times like this that Jimin longed for his mother the most. He wished she was still here so he could run to her, and tell her about all the things that hurt and have her pet his head as he cried like she did when he was a pup. 

Maybe he should've listened to his mother when she told him not to pursue Jeongguk because it will bring him nothing but heartbreak. Jimin had been stubborn, and he had claimed he could handle anything for the man that he loved. 

But right now, he was starting to doubt it.

Days passed by in a blink, and Jimin couldn't even remember living through them. He was simply going through motions, doing the same things every single day without fail. 

His days consisted of waking up in the morning, taking a bath, eating breakfast if he was in the mood for it or if Hoseok nagged him so much that he had no choice but to relent, reading books to the pups, hanging out with Hoseok and Yoonsung at the gardens, go back to the cabin, sleep. 

He still hadn't come home. Still refused to see Jeongguk. He even asked Hoseok—who couldn’t lie for crying out loud—to lie to Jeongguk whenever he came looking for him. Jimin thought that avoiding Jeongguk would make him feel better. He thought that by detaching himself from Jeongguk, he was doing himself a favor, that this way, it would be easier to move on and forget him. But ironically, the more he avoided Jeongguk, the urge to be with him became stronger. The more he tried to detach himself from Jeongguk, the more he felt for him.

It was foolish of him to believe that he could suddenly unlove the only person he cherished, and cared for his whole life. 

Right now, all Jimin wanted was to be free of the unrelenting pain, and hurt inside him but he didn't think he'd be granted that anytime soon. 

After finishing another blissful day with the pups, Jimin started arranging the books in the room like he usually did. He was peacefully doing this task when an omega who came to fetch a pup, one he didn't recognize, suddenly came up to him and asked if he was Park Jimin.

"Yes. Can I help you?" he replied, a smile etched on his face despite feeling confused with the randomness of the situation. 

"So you're Jeongguk's lover? Or should I say ex-lover?" He tucked the strands of his jet black hair behind his ears coquettishly with a smirk. It was almost sinister.

He was confused, yes, but not surprised. He had expected this. That was all people ever knew him for. Jeongguk’s beta. Jeongguk’s suitor. Jeongguk’s ex-lover. Not Park Jimin. Not Jimin.

"You shouldn't address him like that. Have some respect." Jimin replied to avoid the question but also to remind the omega that addressing Jeongguk so crudely could get him punished. 

"Is it true that you courted Jeongguk? You? A beta? You surely have some guts, don't you?" he cackled. "I don't even know what he saw in you." 

Jimin was almost done tidying up the room, he could just ignore the omega, and get out of here. 

"My mother told me I shouldn't be like you," the omega continued with so much distaste it stunned Jimin.

“What is that supposed to mean?" he snarled.

"She told me I shouldn't be like you. A desperate little bitch."

Jimin saw red.

"I'm so fucking proud of you for leaving a huge fucking gash on that asshole's face!" A voice snapped Jimin out of his reverie.

He scoffed. "You are?"

"You bet I am! That was well deserved, that month-old starving asshole had it coming right at his fucking—" 

"Ouch! Careful!" he winced when Hoseok pressed too hard on the cut on his cheek. 

"Oops, sorry. Got carried away," Hoseok was not apologetic at all. "But seriously though, good serve," he giggled.

Jimin didn't expect Hoseok to lecture him about not fighting with other pack members because his friend firmly believed it was important to stand up for yourself if you were in the right. Besides, if Hoseok was there, that poor omega would be sporting more than just a scar.

He would surely get in serious trouble for being involved in a fight with his packmate but he could care less.

"You stopped me though."

"I want you to fight for yourself, but I'm not really interested in helping you bury a dead body. That’s heavy work," Hoseok patted his head gently as if he didn't just speak about murder. 

"I wasn't going to kill him!" Jimin protested.

"Sure, babe." Hoseok had managed to patch up the wounds on his face with some salve he made himself. Jimin was no skilled hunter but he knew how to fight. "Don't think too much about it. He deserved what he got for running that filthy mouth."

Jimin nodded, his wolf was satisfied but he was restless. 

“You don’t seem pleased?”

After his brawl with the omega, Jimin was left depleted. He had been holding everything in so well but maybe it took that omega calling him names, words that he had heard for the umpteenth time for him to finally realize that he couldn’t take it anymore. He was tired of pretending that the cruel words they threw at him didn’t affect him. He was tired of pretending that it didn’t hurt. So tired of pretending to be strong.

He was tired of loving Jeongguk.

“Hey, why are you crying? Did I press too hard again? Does it hurt that much?” This time Hoseok did sound worried.

“Hm. It hurts," he said as tears rolled down his face.

Jimin rushed back to what he dared to call his former home as soon as Hoseok finished nursing his wounds. He had made up his mind, and he should’ve done it way sooner but only now did he gain enough courage to finally do it.

He was leaving.

Leaving the cabin. Leaving Jeongguk. Probably leave the pack, too. He wasn’t sure about anything. He just didn’t want to be here anymore.

He presumed that now was the perfect time to do it. Jeongguk was too busy with his pack duties and the mating ceremony preparations that was taking place in less than two weeks to stop Jimin from leaving, and this way he didn’t have to say goodbye. Not that Jeongguk would stop him nor would he care if he was leaving.

Jimin opened his drawer, and shoved whatever he found inside it in his bag. Whatever of his small pile of tunics, some of his oils, and then he went to their small pantry for some leftover food. Then he went back to his drawer to get a coat for the cold nights while he travels to god knows where. He just shoved whatever he put his hand on, not really caring. At this point, he couldn't see clearly past the blurriness of his tears nor did he give a single fuck. 

When he felt a sudden weakness in his legs and he started to shake, he put the bag down and sat down on the bed. Jimin closed his eyes, and pressed his fisted hands in between his legs. He breathed in deeply, and exhaled slowly. This breathing exercise had always helped him calm down but right now it was doing so little for him but still, he continued. 

He didn't hear the creaking of the door nor did he notice Jeongguk come in. He was unaware of the alpha's presence until he smelled him.

Damp moss, dried leaves, and tree trunks.

Jimin wanted to get up from his seat. He wanted to scream. He wanted to run away. Go as far as he could from Jeongguk. But he was stuck. He remained seated, unmoving. He wiped the wetness on his cheeks with the hem of his tunic. He hated the thought of letting Jeongguk see him like this. 

The cabin was quiet, save for Jimin's erratic breathing, and throbbing heart accompanied by Jeongguk's hurried and loud steps.

"Are you okay?" Jeongguk was fussing over him as soon as he entered the cabin. He wasn't supposed to be here, he was supposed to be occupied with his mating preparations but here he was, kneeling in front of him as he cradled Jimin's face in his hands. His eyebrows were knitted together, and his eyes took in each wound on Jimin's face carefully. "I'll ask healer Son for more salve later to quicken the healing, and—a-and an ointment too. We don't want your wounds to get an infection—"

"I'm fine." Jimin turned his face away from Jeongguk.

"You're not! Look at your face… l-look at your wounds. Jimin," there was that name again. It made him sick. "Can you tell me what happened, please?"

"No."

Jeongguk looked him straight in the eye. "Do you have any idea what condition the omega you fought with is in right now? Jimin, you almost ripped his face off. What happened? You were never this aggressive."

"Nothing." Jimin stood his ground. 

Jeongguk sighed, frustrated. "Do you know how much trouble you're in right now? They want to throw you out of the pack! But that won't happen. I-I'll talk to the Elderly and—"

"You don't have to. I'm leaving anyway."

"You—what ?" Jeongguk asked. It was only then that Jeongguk noticed the bag beside him. A bag full of Jimin's belongings. 

"I'm leaving," he repeated. 

"Why?" Jeongguk asked, voice quivering. He was looking at Jimin with those eyes again, begging for an answer.

"I don't want to be here anymore." 

Jimin’s legs still felt as weak as before, like they didn’t belong to him but he was determined to leave this place so he got up, and picked up his bag but Jeongguk blocked his way, bumping into his chest.

Jeongguk held his forearms to steady him. "It'll be fine! The Elderly—they won't kick you out. I won't let them, a—and that omega will never get near you again. I'll make sure of it. You don't have to leave." 

"You don't get it!" Jimin laughed hollowly. "I don't want to be here. Do you hear the way they talk about me? Do you know how they treat me?"

"I—"

"They see me like some homewrecking slut who's ruining your potential, everlasting love story with Mi Dam. They think I'm trying to stop you from mating him because I couldn't get any other alpha to like me or… or to bed me. They treat me—see me so poorly. I've had enough." 

"That's not true! None of what they said was true! You—you shouldn't listen to them—"

"That's easy for you to say 'cause you're not the one they talk shit about everyday! You're not the one who they whisper and g-gossip about. I don't expect you to understand." Jimin hissed. 

"I was the one who has been in love with you ever since I was what? Thirteen? Fourteen? I was the one who has been completely head over heels in love with you to the point that I even courted you." 

Jimin snatched his arms away from Jeongguk, and turned away from him to try, and compose himself. He could feel the tears burning his eyes. He had been doing so well. He wouldn't break now.

"Jimin—" Jeongguk reached out, and tried to hold his hand again but Jimin slapped his hand away. For a minute, he was just staring at the floor.

"I was a hopeless romantic, you know. I used to dream about my suitor giving me beautiful handmade gifts that will make all my friends jealous. I used to dream about my suitor giving me flowers as a sign of their affection, asking me to dance under the moonlight. But I gave that all up to court you,” his voice quavered. He struggled to continue, but he was tired of holding everything inside. “I know—I know you didn't ask me to but you wouldn't do it so I… I had to. I t-thought that was my only chance, so I did it without any hesitation even though I lost my friends because they thought I was crazy. Even though everyone ridiculed me 'cause how dare I try to court an alpha? Let alone a Jeon?"

Jimin inhaled sharply at the deep pain he felt in his chest. All the bitter memories came rushing back to him. He had done so well in convincing himself that he didn't care about what people said about him, that their hurtful words didn't matter but they mattered, and wounded him more than Jimin allowed himself to feel. 

"You rejected me so many times, I lost count. I was losing hope because no matter what gift I gave you or no matter what I did, nothing changed. Do you remember my first ever gift? The scarf? I made that for weeks. I was heartbroken because I never saw you wear it, not even once. You probably didn't even like it. It's okay." 

He had sworn he would never cry but everything hurt, and exploded inside him.

The first tears slipped from his eyes, wetting his flushed cheeks. He quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand. 

Jeongguk was frozen in front of him, just looking at him as if he had seen a ghost. Jimin wasn't sure if he was hearing everything he was saying but that even didn't matter to him anymore. He just wanted to let it all out. Be honest, for once. 

He had kept it all in for far too long.

"Then y-you said yes, and I was the happiest beta in the world. I couldn't believe it, couldn't believe we were finally dating. I couldn't believe you were mine 'cause—i-it was just… surreal. You're kind, so caring, gentle with me, and extremely understanding. You're literally all I could ask for in a lover. But even when we were close, you just felt so far apart. Every time we made love, you were always so afraid 'cause you’d think you'd lose control, and accidentally mate me. Do you know how much I want to ask you to mate me? It was all I ever wanted in my life, to be your mate. But I never asked you to because I know you don't want to—"

"No, baby, it's not that… It's..." Jeongguk shook his head vehemently, tears running down his face.

"After years of dating I thought you'd learn how to love me, too. I thought you'd finally feel the same. Then you come, and tell me that you have to mate an omega, and... ah... nothing changed, right? I was stupid enough to believe that you loved me enough to choose me over your position, but I guess I was wrong. All this time, it was just me who was in love. You p-probably said yes to me 'cause you felt bad, no? I was so pathetic. Always chasing you around like a dog even when you wanted to have nothing to do with me. I'm sorry I didn't see that before. I—I was just so in love with you, wanted to be with you. Everyone was right about me. I'm a desperate little bitch. I forced you to be with me. I'm so—" Jimin sobbed "—s-so sorry."

His knees buckled, and he almost fell forward but Jeongguk caught him, and steadied him on his feet before guiding him to sit on the bed. 

"Please, calm down. B-Breathe for me, love." Jeongguk held him by the waist, tried to pull him closer to him, and calm him down but Jimin pushed him away. 

"Don't touch me!" He punched Jeongguk's chest. "I s-s—saw you—I saw you hold him like this. I saw y-you! Did you hold him like this here too? In our bed? When y-you—" Jimin's voice broke, unable to continue the sentence as the sobs took over his body. 

Despite his wishes, Jeongguk held him close, and let Jimin sob on his shoulders as his own tears fell down his face. He wanted to say so many things but right now, all he could do was listen as Jimin poured his heart out.

"All m-my life p-people—they… a-all they talked about was how I was an insignificant beta who you'd discard as soon as you found an omega. I… I d-didn't believe them… didn't want to believe them… but it's true. Y-You left me—you left me as soon as you found him. I know I'm just a simple beta and I—I can't make you pack alpha but I thought—I wished I'd be enough. Am I not—am I not worth it?" 

"You are. You're e-enough for me. You're worth it. I—I love you." Jeongguk whispered against Jimin's ears, hoping his sincerity would come across.

"Stop! Oh God, stop s-saying things you don't mean!" Jimin tried to get up, and leave again but Jeongguk pulled on Jimin’s shoulders, turned him around, and hugged him. 

"I mean it. Please, don't leave. I-I—I can't…" Jeongguk cried. He, too, was shaking uncontrollably but his hold on Jimin's body was so strong that Jimin couldn't move.

"Jeongguk," Jimin started. "I've n-never asked you for anything before but right now I'm asking you to please… please just let me go. It'll be easier for the both of us. I—" 

"I love you. I only ever… I only ever loved you." Jeongguk sobbed. 

They were so close. Jeongguk's head was on Jimin's shoulder, his tunic was soaked with Jeongguk's tears. Like this, Jimin could feel every tremor from Jeongguk's body. 

He tried to push Jeongguk away but the alpha's grip was sturdy, and he had no fight left in him.

"D—don't… don't leave. No. J-Just please give me more t-time. I'm s-so so—close to convincing Mi Dam into calling off the mating." 

Jeongguk was barely coherent from how emotional he was. Jimin thought he had misheard him.

"W-What…?" 

"I don't want to mate with someone else. I-I don't—I don't want him. I don't want this. I don't want to be pack alpha. I want you—you… only you. I—give… g-give me more time. Please… love." 

Jimin had no idea what to do with that information. He had no idea if Jeongguk was speaking the truth or if he was saying that because he was overwhelmed with his emotions. Regardless of that, Jimin felt his body go lax. Meanwhile, Jeongguk was holding him by the waist so tightly he was almost breathless as he was still sobbing on his shoulders. Jimin's tunic was soaking wet with his tears, and probably snot but he didn't mind.

"I—I'll… I will explain everything. Give me a chance to—to explain everything. H-hear me—me o-out. Don't leave me, please ." Jeongguk whimpered.

If Jimin thought his heart couldn't break any more, this moment proved him wrong. Seeing Jeongguk like this, crying, so vulnerable, so sad made his heart clench.

Jimin's tears slid silently on his face. He would probably regret doing this but after hearingJeongguk himself say that he wanted him was enough for Jimin to hope that maybe they had a chance. Although nothing was certain right now, he needed to give it a shot. This was all he had wanted his whole life.

"Okay. Okay. We'll—we'll talk," he whispered, caressing Jeongguk's hair, and it broke his heart when the alpha leaned into his touch.

Jeongguk pulled him even closer, and buried his nose in Jimin's neck. "I—thank y-you."

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry. I know how hard the pack’s been on you ever since the announcement of my mating. It was all my fault. I should’ve been there for you.”

Jeongguk sniffled, nose red and stuffy from all his crying. Jimin didn’t answer, and if it weren’t for the sound of his breathing, Jeongguk would think he had already left, and that thought alone  made his heart clench. 

But Jimin was still there, seated an arm’s length away from him, head hanging low as he dug his nails on his flesh like he always did. 

Jimin was there, and he was willing to listen to him. That was all that mattered.

“I got too caught up in my own plans. I… I was so busy trying to do everything to break off this mating with him that I neglected you. I didn’t say anything to you until I had convinced him because I didn’t want you to get your hopes high over nothing. I didn’t want to tell you till I was sure it was over. If I could, I would've walked away and go to you but that wouldn't do anything good for us. We'd be banished and no other pack will accept us, our loyalty will immediately be questioned. I'm sorry I couldn't come to you sooner. I c-couldn’t bear to talk to you or even look at you ‘cause when I do… all I see is everything that I did to you. I hurt you, love. I’m so sorry for everything.” 

Jimin remained silent.

“Our relationship was never one-sided. I have always had my eyes on you. I can’t remember when I started to like you, but one day I just… I found myself waiting for you to come to our cabin and pester me to come play with you.” 

Jeongguk laughed softly, fond memories coming back to him. 

“Sometimes I’d reject your advances just to prove to myself that whatever I was feeling wasn’t real, that it would soon go away, but it didn’t. It stayed the same, every single day. I’d stand behind the door, and I would wait for you to come. Whenever I heard you knock, I’d pretend to walk to the door just so you wouldn’t know how long I’d been waiting for you there.”

Jeongguk thought it was silly too, but it was all he could do about his feelings back then.

“Do you know how hard it was to not really show how I felt openly when you smiled so big that your pretty eyes disappeared into crescents? Your cheeks were—still are—so plump and red. You’ve always been so lovely. You made my heart flutter, and made me feel these fuzzy, strange things . I didn’t know what to do with myself so I’d slam the door in your face—not because I was angry, not because I didn’t want to see you—but I just needed a break from all the things you did to my heart. And when I’d opened the door, y-you… you’d still be there. Still waiting. Still smiling as if I didn’t slam the door in your face and told you to get lost.”

Jeongguk heard Jimin’s breath shudder, and he wanted to hold him because Jimin liked being held when he was sad, but Jeongguk didn’t think he deserved that.

“I loved every single moment I got to spend with you. You made me happy so effortlessly, and ever since I learnt that when I’d be old enough to get to court whoever I want, I always knew it was you who I wanted . I wanted to court you so badly, but when my parents found out about it, they were furious, especially my father. I ran to my mom, and asked her why I couldn’t court you, and she just told me that I could court whoever it is I wanted, as long as it was an omega. I begged my mother to convince my father that it didn’t have to be like that but nothing mattered to them, not even their own son’s feelings. . Father was pack alpha and I, being his only son, automatically  was the next in line. And it didn’t matter what I wanted or not.” 

Jimin sniffled, and Jeongguk could see the tears falling from his eyes, hating himself more for hurting his love like this.

“I knew you were waiting for me to come to you and court you—”

“Hm. I was…” Jimin said weakly. 

“I’m sorry. It broke my heart that I couldn’t. I wanted to, I really did but I was young, and I was scared so I had no choice but to listen. I listened even though it killed me to see you so sad, even more so, 'cause it was my fault. I didn't do anything even though it killed me to see you smile whenever those stinky alphas gave you courting gifts. I wanted to be one of them. Free. Courageous. I wished I could be them. To openly court you, and shower you with my gifts. Then one day you came knocking at my door, asking me why I wouldn't court you, and I wanted to tell you the truth but I was scared you'd think I was a coward, which I am, so I... lied to you and said I didn't want to." 

"You were mean to me, and you really hurt me back then." Jimin said, more to himself than to Jeongguk.

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Jeongguk sniffled. "You ran away, and you didn't come see me for twenty-two days. I know because I was behind the door everyday waiting for you. I thought you finally got tired of me. I thought you'd never come back, thought you'd never see me again. I thought you found someone else, and I told myself it was for the better.”

Jeongguk remembered how scared he was. He fell asleep every night wishing Jimin would come back.

“But you came back, and knocked at our door asking if you could… if you could court me. I felt so ashamed 'cause I never wished for things to end up that way, and that was the only reason why I rejected you, not because I didn’t like you but because I liked you too much, and wanted to be the one to court you. I should be the one to court you. I wanted to make things right first but it wasn’t that easy. My mother agreed to let me court you ‘cause she thought you were nice, and kind. She said you were perfect for me. She has always been on my side, but my father didn’t budge, and in our household, his opinion mattered the most.” 

Jeongguk sighed.

“So I let you court me, thinking it would be fine with my father, and he probably got tired of me. It probably even stroked his ego that his son was so desirable that he was being courted. He a-agreed to it but on one condition. I should never mate you, and when the time comes, I must break up with you, and find an omega.”

Jimin’s hands balled into fists.

“I agreed to it. It… it was either that or nothing at all. It was the only way I could have you so I took the chance even though it pained me. It took me so long to say yes because I thought you would get tired, and change your mind and it could save us both the pain, but you didn’t. Every month, you’d come to our cabin, unfailingly, bringing me courting gifts, and I loved them all.”

Jeongguk remembered how he wouldn’t even let his mother touch them. He remembered how his younger self would insist on sleeping with all of Jimin’s courting gifts, only to cry when scolded by his mother.

“The scarf… the scarf. I didn’t throw it away. It was the first courting gift you gave me, and I still cherish it so much. I didn’t want to wear it at first because it was so precious I was afraid I’d ruin it but it was also too precious not to wear so I only always wore it to sleep—hugged it to sleep—‘cause it smelled like you. How could you think I threw it away?”

Jeongguk got up from his bed, and Jimin almost panicked, thinking he would leave but he went straight to one of his drawers, the one Jimin didn’t really touch, and rummaged through his stuff. Jeongguk had two chests in the cabin. One for the clothes he wore every day, for hunting, and other necessary garments, and the other one where he kept his stuff. Jimin wasn’t sure what was inside the second chest exactly except for the fact that the items were important. Jimin didn’t dare open that chest because Jeongguk told him clearly not to open it. If he ever had to put things inside, he should just leave it on top of the chest, and let Jeongguk do it. Jimin respected Jeongguk’s privacy.

Jeongguk pulled the knob of the bottom drawer, and pulled out something. When Jeongguk turned around, he was holding a rust-colored scarf. 

It was the scarf Jimin gave him. His first courting gift.

Jimin’s eyes instantly watered, his lips quivering. “I thought… I…”

“I told you, I didn’t throw it away. I would never.” Jeongguk smiled, and handed Jimin the scarf. Jimin took it hesitantly.  

The scarf was still as soft to touch like it was eight years ago, and it looked like it did eight years ago. It looked new and if it weren’t for the loose threads and some holes in it, Jimin would think it had never been used. 

“I—” All the words Jimin wanted to say were caught in his throat, tears streamed down his face. Jimin’s grip on the scarf tightened as his emotions washed over him. Jeongguk sat down on the bed again, but this time closer to Jimin. 

“All the things they told you that you are, none of them were true. All the rumors you’ve heard, all are lies. I did not bring him to our cabin. I did not sleep with him. I let him sleep in my spare room in my family’s cabin, and I slept here… in our home. I would never do that. Even holding him, being that close to him, I—it made me sick. I would never do that to you. You have to believe me.”

Jeongguk took the scarf from Jimin, and wrapped it around his neck carefully, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw how adorable his love was. Reminding him again of how in love he was with Jimin. He reached out for Jimin’s hand, and held it, giving him the chance to pull away but he didn’t so Jeongguk laced their fingers together. Jeongguk's heart ached. He had missed this. He missed the way the warmth from Jimin’s hand felt in his, he missed the way his hand enveloped Jimin. He missed Jimin.

“I want to mate you, too. I want you to be mine forever. I want it as much as you do. Trust me, love, I do."

"But you always held back…you didn't," Jimin mumbled.

"I was afraid I’d mate you, afraid I’d impregnate you, and then be forced to leave you because I have to mate another omega because I had to be pack alpha. I would never forgive myself if I did that to you. It was never because I don’t want you. How could I not want you… you’re all I ever wanted. You’re the only one I have ever loved. I mean it." 

They were both crying. Relieved but regretful at the same time. All they needed was to talk, and clear their misunderstandings but both of them had been so afraid of hurting each other, and as a result, that was what they ended up doing. But who could blame them? Dealing with feelings wasn't easy. Most of the time, it was easier to assume than to ask. It was easier to think of the worst, easier to hurt himself. But they know better now.

Jeongguk squeezed Jimin’s hand. Jimin held onto him tighter.

“I’m so sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want you, that you were undesirable. I’m sorry I made you feel like you were alone, like you were the only one fighting for our relationship. I should’ve been better, I’m sorry I wasn’t. I should’ve been more courageous, and honest with you. I should’ve been more transparent about my love for you. I’m so sorry. I’ll be better.”

Jimin wanted to say so many things but all he could do was cry, overwhelmed with emotions. He rested his face on Jeongguk's chest, and cried silently while taking in his alpha's scent. Jeongguk smelled so good, it made him dizzy. 

“I have—I have one more week before the ceremony to convince Mi Dam to break this off, and stop the mating, and if he does, we would have no problem. We could stay in the pack, and my father wouldn’t care at all. He would get off my back, and accept that I would never mate anyone but you.”

“What? What do you mean?” Jimin looked up, frowning.

“I got into an ugly fight with my father the night the Dalbit Pack visited here. The thought of losing you forever scared me. I couldn’t imagine living without you, and I don’t plan on doing so. I didn’t want to give up without a fight. I yelled at him, and told him I didn’t want to mate. I told him I didn’t want to be pack alpha, and that he should stop dictating me and let me live my life. I can’t believe I did that but it was all thanks to you. You made me brave, you made me strong.” 

Jeongguk touched his jaw and winced playfully, Jimin laughed softly at that. 

“Although I got hit real bad and it stung, it was worth it. I was finally able to say the things I have been so scared to say. It felt so liberating. He told me he would only allow it if Mi Dam wanted to end the union himself. He threatened me, and said he’d never be able to bear the shame of having a son who was rejected by his omega so I might as well forget he was my father.”

“He did?” Jimin gasped in disbelief. Jeongguk’s father didn’t seem like the type to say such things. He didn’t seem like the type to give up that easily. 

“I was just as shocked when he told me, to be honest. I guess he’s tired of me and my mother always going against him, ganging up on him.” Jeongguk laughed. “I guess he finally realized that nothing would ever change my heart for you.”

Jimin buried his face in Jeongguk's neck again, punching his chest weakly. He was embarrassed, and quite disbelieving that he was hearing this from Jeongguk.

"I just need Mi Dam to answer now."

"How are you sure that he would do it?"

"I'm not, but he's a kind omega. A-and he loves someone else. I'm holding onto that."

"And what if he doesn't?"

"I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. I'm not afraid anymore. I have you, and that's all I need."

Jimin smiled at him, although his lips quivered, and his eyes watered.

“When this is all over, and if you forgive me—I-I know I’m not worth it. I hurt you. I was horrible to you, and I have failed you. But if you ever choose to forgive me, I want us to start over. I want to be yours forever. I promise I will change. I’ll be better—I will love you better. But if you choose not to, I'll respect your decision."

Jimin glanced up at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk looked so disheveled. His hair was a mess, bags under his red-rimmed eyes. His hands were trembling, and his face was wet with tears. He looked so worn out. Jimin could see it now, how affected Jeongguk was. They were both in equal pain. 

Jimin had been selfish. He only thought of himself, only cared about his feelings without taking Jeongguk's into consideration. He didn't even spend a minute thinking that maybe Jeongguk didn't want all of this to happen. Jeongguk was burdened with all these responsibilities that came with being the pack alpha's only heir. Jeongguk was left with no choice, forced to mate. Forced to take the throne. 

He was always so quick to doubt Jeongguk's love for him. He was always so quick to believe that Jeongguk would discard him, leave him. He always let his insecurities get the best of him. Jeongguk wasn't perfect; he had his flaws, but he was everything Jimin wanted. 

Jeongguk treated him so well. He was there when his mother passed away, stayed by his side during the darkest moments of his life, and he helped him see the light. Jeongguk cared for him like no one else did.

And Jeongguk loved him as much as he did, if not more. Jimin knows that now.

Jimin leaned closer, and cupped Jeongguk's face. Jeongguk's eyes widened, taken aback, but he softened just as fast. Jimin caressed his cheek gently, and with all the fondness he felt for him said, "I went through so much to be with you. Do you think I'd give up that easily? I love you so much." 

Tears were running down Jimin's face but this time, Jeongguk knew it wasn't because he was hurt or sad. Jimin was happy. Jeongguk let out a watery laugh. He pulled Jimin into a tight hug, buried his nose in his love's neck, and scented him softly, desperately. Jimin wrapped his arms around Jeongguk's trembling body. It slipped Jimin's mind that despite Jeongguk's cold and stoic exterior, he was softhearted, and a crybaby. 

"Thank you for loving a simple beta like me. I'm so sorry for doubting you." 

Jeongguk shook his head vehemently, still buried in Jimin's neck, although nothing came out of his mouth except the soft hiccups. Jeongguk's arms around his waist tightened.

"Love," Jeongguk hiccuped.

Jimin hummed, caressing Jeongguk's hair, letting his alpha cry his heart out. Jimin felt so bad, his heart sank to his stomach. How long must Jeongguk have had to endure all of this on his own? He left a soft peck on Jeongguk's forehead, and held him closer. 

"I'll be g-good to you." 

"You've always been good to me," Jimin cooed.

"Are you mine?" 

"Of course, I'm yours," Jimin assured. "Are you?" 

"Always. Always and forever."

Jimin noticed that Jeongguk was chewing his lower plump lip, a nervous habit. "Is everything okay? Do you want to tell me something?"

Albeit hesitantly, Jeongguk whispered. "Yoonsung."

It took a moment before Jimin fully recognized the implication of it, and when he did, he couldn't stop the giggle that came out of his mouth.

"Yoonsung's just a friend."

"He doesn't think the same."

"What do you mean?"

"He likes you, doesn't he?" Jeongguk's pout grew bigger.

Jimin giggled. "I don't know. I don't like him though. He's just a friend. A good friend."

Jeongguk whined. 

"Why? Are you jealous?" 

"I thought I'd die every time I saw you with him. I thought I'd die every time he touched you or when he was so close to you. I hated it. You are my love."

A smile formed on Jimin's face. It wasn't often that Jeongguk would admit to being jealous. Jimin wanted to take the opportunity to tease him but his alpha was in a vulnerable state right now, clinging to him so hard as if afraid he would leave.

"While we were apart, I never thought of anyone else but you. It has always been you, and it will always be. You don't have to worry about anything. My heart will always belong to you." 

"Love you." Jeongguk mumbled sleepily. Jimin replied with a kiss on his cheek. 

They fell asleep like that, with Jimin holding Jeongguk tightly in his arms.

Jimin went to Hoseok's cabin before heading to do his pack duties. Hoseok had been an amazing friend, and Jimin supposed he deserved to know everything that happened the other day. 

Jimin's heart was racing, nervous about how Hoseok would react. He was the one who was there for him when he was hurting because of Jeongguk, and his own stupidity. He couldn't imagine how he'd react after finding out he and Jeongguk reconciled. Despite that, he couldn't help the smile that kept on escaping from his lips as he told Hoseok everything. He was expecting Hoseok to get upset at him for it but he leaped from his seat, and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm so happy for the both of you, you idiots!" Hoseok said, and by the way his voice was shaking, Jimin knew he was crying. Another thing he didn't expect.

"I thought you'd be mad," Jimin mumbled against his friend's shoulder, a little dumbfounded.

Hoseok grabbed his shoulders, and put him at an arm's length away. Jimin saw tears welling in his eyes but his mouth was shaped into an adorable heart from the way was grinning from ear to ear. Jimin couldn't help but mirror the expression.

"Who am I to be mad when you're—" Hoseok's words got caught up in the lump in his throat. "When you're so happy." 

"You're making me cry!" Jimin pinched Hoseok's nipples, making his friend yelp. 

"I wasn't really mad. I was upset at Jeongguk, yes. Well, he hurt you. But now that you told me everything, I feel bad for being so mean to him." Hoseok winced at the memories of harsh words he'd said directly and indirectly to Jeongguk. "I need to apologize to him."

"It's okay. He understands. In fact, he's grateful to you for taking care of me." 

"As he should!" Hoseok perked up. "But really. I'm so happy for you. I was just waiting for you two to finally come to your senses. In my heart, I always knew you'd come back to each other."

"Shut up! It's so strange to hear you say stuff like that." Jimin chided, pressing his lips together to suppress a grin. He was certain his cheeks were red.

They laughed, and talked some more over a cup of tea and bread. 

Jimin ran into Namjoon and Yoonsung when he was leaving the cabin. Namjoon smiled at him, a genuine smile. Jeongguk had probably told him. Yoonsung leaned in for a hug but Jimin stopped him midway. The alpha furrowed his brow, but his face lit up in realization just as fast.

Jimin grinned. "Jeongguk." 

He was sure Jeongguk wouldn't genuinely mind but he didn't want to smell even a bit of Yoonsung, or of any other alpha. He didn't want to upset Jeongguk right after their heartfelt conversation.

"I get it," Yoonsung giggled, ruffling Jimin's hair instead. Namjoon laughed too, shaking his head.

Jimin beamed at them while bidding his farewell, and left straight for his duties.

Jimin and Jeongguk decided not to go back to living together until the mating was called off. Jimin would continue living with the couple, and Jeongguk at their cabin as usual. Although they could care less about what their pack mates would say about them, it would do more damage—to Jimin specifically—than good to live with an alpha who was still betrothed to another. Besides, they went through so much already. Being apart for less than a week was easy.

There was this underlying dread that things wouldn't end up the way they wanted. There was this fear inside Jimin that if things didn't go well, Jeongguk would easily leave him, and choose everything else over him but this time he wouldn't let the voices inside him win.

I only ever loved you.

I'll do whatever it takes to be with you.

This time, Jimin chose to trust Jeongguk.

A couple of days later, the Dalbit Pack visited their pack unannounced. They weren't supposed to be back until the mating ceremony which was in four days, so their visit made everyone in the pack raise their eyebrows. Regardless of this, their pack still bowed down to them to show their respect. After that, the pack was asked to retreat to their cabins as it was a discussion that needed to happenin private. Only the wolves in high positions stayed.

Throughout their rather short visit, Jimin's heart was pounding so hard it was all he could hear. His hands were clammy, and he had lost count on how many times he could feel his heart sinking. He waited patiently with Hoseok, their knuckles turning white with how hard they were holding onto each other's hands.

After what felt like hours, Namjoon came bursting through the door with a smile that made his dimples appear deeper than ever, one that he had never seen on Namjoon's face. 

Hoseok and Jimin abruptly got up from their seats, waiting for Namjoon to catch his breath and speak. Jimin's hands were shaking so bad he thought he might faint.

"The union has been called off," Namjoon said breathlessly. 

Hoseok screamed. Jimin broke down in tears.

Apparently, Mi Dam went down on his knees, and asked Jeongguk’s father, the present pack alpha, to cancel the mating. Mi Dam rejected Jeongguk, and said that it wasn’t right for the two of them to mate while his heart had always belonged to someone else. He apologized for taking so long to realize that, and was sorry for agreeing to the arrangement in the beginning, and wasting everyone’s time by unintentionally disgracing the Jeon's clan name. He wished Jeongguk all the best, and he hoped that he would find a mate more suited than him.

Jeongguk's father didn't say much, according to Namjoon. He said his father didn't do anything to try, and save the union, just like everyone else in the cabin expected him to. Strangely, the pack alpha looked rather relieved. 

The next day, the entire pack  was in complete shock at the announcement of the highly anticipated mating ceremony being called off out of the blue. 

The entire pack thought that with Jimin no longer in the picture, Jeongguk and Mi Dam could get to know each other better. Everyone assumed their relationship was going smoothly, especially with the rumors of the potential mates spending time at Jeongguk’s cabin. Some had questions, few were in disbelief, and the rest just nodded, and accepted it. 

"I will be stepping down as pack alpha in the next full moon and as you all know, my son, Jeongguk, will be taking over the position. With or without a mate," Jeongguk's father stated firmly.

Now, that was something that even Jeongguk had not expected. 

Jimin's jaw dropped, staring wide-eyed at Jeongguk questioningly. Jeongguk was just as shocked, shaking his head in confusion. 

"But he can't  possibly be an ideal leader, he isn't even mated!" One of the Elderly argued. It was as expected. The Elderly had been in the pack probably even before the pack alpha was born. They lived by their old-age rules, and traditions.

"I know, and he doesn't have to. He's proven himself worthy of the position, hasn't he?"

The pack mates went quiet but soon enough, everyone started murmuring within themselves.

"You cannot break our pack's tradition! It is only fair for him to mate an omega to acquire the position. Every pack alpha does that. You did that too, pack alpha!" Omega Sol spoke harshly.

The crowd agreed, and the pack members raised their voices, disagreeing with what the pack alpha wanted. The pack was not one to stray from their traditions, they liked order and unity. It didn’t sit with them right that things were changing so quickly without any reason. First, the break off of the union between Jeongguk and Mi Dam, and now this? Everyone had something to say, and they all wanted to be heard. 

" Stop !" The pack alpha growled , successfully shutting everyone up. "Did you all forget what he has done for this pack? Do you remember how we thought we were all going to die from hunger last winter but thanks to my son who baited, and hunted a bear, we all survived? Or did you forget when he saved your misbehaving child—” Jeongguk’s father pointed his fingers at Omega Sol, “—who trespassed another pack’s territory from dying at the hands of the rogues?”

Everyone fell silent.

“Have you got nothing to say now, huh? I am pack alpha! How dare you question my decision? I know it has always been our pack’s tradition to mate to acquire a certain position in the clan, and that damned tradition has caused many wolves to suffer—to mate and be bound to someone they barely knew forever —and sacrifice their own happiness, and their whole life! I know because I also went through it, but I was lucky to meet my omega.” 

Jeongguk’s father smiled fondly at his mate who was beside him. By the looks of it, Omega Jeon was at a loss for words because of her alpha’s sudden show of affection so openly. Nevertheless, she smiled back, and held his hand. Jeongguk, on the other hand, looked crushed,  so close to crying. Jimin couldn’t help but let out a watery laugh. 

“But not everyone is as lucky as me! You all know how painful it is to ignore your wolf! Would it be so easy for you to say that if it were you? Or if it were your sons? I was a moron, and I forced my own son to do something that was against his will, and as a result, my son drifted away from me. He despises me.” In the corner, Jimin could see Jeongguk shaking his head. “Do you know how much that pained me as his father? All because of an archaic tradition that refuses to change with time?” 

No one dared to say a word, or talk back to the pack alpha. Everyone’s heads were bowed down in submission. It was silent save for the heavy breathing of the pack alpha, and the soft sniffling of Jeongguk and his mother.

“So now, as your current pack alpha, I am breaking this tradition in hopes that no wolves in this pack shall be forced to mate against their will. Everything will change, starting from today.”

Jimin walked slowly from the couple’s cabin to theirs holding a pile of clothes in his hands at the crack of dawn. It was still dark, the sun was yet to rise, and the pack was quiet, nearly everyone was still asleep during this hour. Jimin basked in the melodious chirping of the birds that filled his ears, shivering when the cold wind caressed his skin. 

It had been two weeks since the announcement of the mating’s call off, and they both decided that they should go back to living together.

To be honest, Jimin had been antsy about moving back in with Jeongguk. What if Jeongguk regretted his decision? What if things never went back to the way they used to be? What if this was all it was for the two of them? 

He took a deep breath when he was in front of their cabin. Jimin wondered if Jeongguk was even awake at this hour. Jimin lifted his hand to knock at the door but it was shaking too hard to properly function. He tried again, but before his fist could touch the surface of the door, it swung open.

Jeongguk was standing right in front of him. He was smiling at him. The kind of smile that made his front teeth poke out, made his eyes crinkle at the sides, and his nose scrunch. The kind of smile that made his eyes glisten so prettily. 

And a rust-colored scarf was wrapped delicately around his neck.

Jimin glanced up at Jeongguk, his eyes burning with unshed tears. Jeongguk’s smile faltered upon noticing the somber expression on Jimin’s face. He immediately pulled Jimin carefully inside, and shut the door behind him.

“Why are you crying? Are you not happy to see me?” Jeongguk asked, cradling Jimin’s face in his hands.

Jimin leaned into the warmth of Jeongguk’s palm, tears falling freely on his face. “I’m happy,” he whispered. “So happy.”

“I am, too,” Jeongguk replied, voice quivering. 

As it was too early in the morning, they decided to just rest, blissfully waiting for the time to pass. 

They laid down on their side of beds as usual but this time they were closer than ever. One of Jeongguk's hands was wrapped around Jimin's middle while the other rested as a pillow beneath Jimin’s head. Jimin was snuggled up on Jeongguk's chest, with both of his hands in between their chest. 

Jimin felt so warm and content.

For a while, they were just staring at each other, drowning in each other's beautifully hypnotic eyes. 

It felt strange but so familiar at the same time to just lay down on their bed with Jeongguk. He had been away for nearly a month. Jimin was unsure how he managed to sleep on the bed in the couple's cabin without Jeongguk's warmth. Jimin snuggled impossibly closer , squishing his reddened cheeks that made his plump lips jut out. Jeongguk giggled. 

"What's funny?" Jimin asked genuinely. 

Jeongguk kissed both of his cheeks in lieu of an answer. Jimin blushed even harder. One seeing the blush, Jeongguk pouted his lips, and sucked Jimin's left cheek gently, and then did the same to the right one. 

"Why did you do that?" Jimin gasped, feeling his slightly wet cheeks with his hands. 

"How can I not when my love's cheeks are this cute?" Jeongguk cooed, peppering kisses on Jimin's cheeks face. Jimin giggled.

This close, Jimin couldn't help but stare at Jeongguk, at how beautiful he was. Jimin must've stared for too long, too intensely. 

"What?" Jeongguk said with a smile, it seemed to never leave his face ever since Jimin entered their cabin. Jimin didn't answer, letting his gaze take in all of Jeongguk's face. 

Jimin wanted to wait for a couple more days, maybe weeks before getting too close to Jeongguk. He thought it would only be proper to refrain himself from initiating anything for they both have been too worn out due to the events that had occurred but how could he stop himself when he was so close to Jeongguk, when he could feel his heartbeat beating against his palm? 

He had always prided himself for being patient, but right now he was anything but. 

Before Jeongguk could say another word, Jimin slowly leaned over, and pressed his lips against Jeongguk's. Jeongguk froze for a second because he didn't expect Jimin to kiss him, but when the initial shock faded away, he let his eyes flutter shut, and let Jimin take control.

Jimin started with a few quick close-mouthed kisses before slipping his hands around Jeongguk's neck, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss. Jeongguk put his hand on Jimin's waist, and started to draw circles with his thumb. Jimin tugged at his bottom lip, sliding his hand down from Jeongguk's chest to his stomach, feeling it go taut at the touch. Jeongguk pulled Jimin closer by the waist, and wrapped his leg around him like he never wanted to let go. Jimin could feel heat pooling at his stomach, the softness of Jeongguk's lips against his, leaving him in a daze. He poured all of his emotions into the kiss. He wanted to make up for lost time, and this kiss was only a start.

They kissed for what felt like hours, neither of them wanting to let go. When Jimin started to feel a little dizzy, and out of breath, he pushed gently at Jeongguk's chest. Jeongguk understood quickly and pulled away. 

"Wow," Jeongguk panted. "Missed me that much, love?"

Jimin had the decency to blush . He nodded gingerly, unable to look Jeongguk in the eye. Jeongguk was so endeared. He tilted Jimin's chin up with his fingers, and pressed another kiss on his lips, Jimin going cross-eyed at the proximity. Jeongguk couldn't help but smile into the kiss. 

"The s-scarf looks good on you," Jimin said as soon as Jeongguk pulled away. "I should knit you some more." Jimin pinched the soft material of the scarf in between his thumb and index finger, obviously wanting to talk about everything but the fact that he basically jumped Jeongguk the first day they were in the privacy of their cabin.

"Yeah?" Jeongguk laughed, pinching Jimin's cheek, his eyes full of wonder. Jimin hummed in lieu of an answer. His lips were pressed together firmly to suppress a laugh, unintentionally puffing his cheeks out. Jeongguk felt like he was going to lose his mind.

"If you knit me more scarves, I'll kiss you more," Jeongguk said. 

"Deal," Jimin agreed quickly. "Wait! How does that benefit me ?" He huffed playfully, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, you get to kiss this breathtaking, handsome, one-of-a-kind, dazzling alpha," Jeongguk said, putting stress on each word, and tilting his chin up in pride.  

Jimin burst into fits of laughter, he didn't think that made any sense at all but he agreed anyway. "Okay, breathtaking, handsome, one-of-a-kind, dazzling alpha. I'll knit you more scarves. I will try my best." 

Jeongguk petted Jimin's head, and played with his hair just how Jimin liked it. When he was close to drifting to sleep, Jeongguk pulled his favorite blanket under his chin. Jeongguk cooed at how red his nose, and cheeks were and left another kiss on his cheeks. Jimin hummed contentedly, burying his face on Jeongguk's neck, and snuggling up closer to him.

Jimin worried over nothing at all.

Eventually, the news of Jimin and Jeongguk getting back together, and living in the same cabin reached everyone, spreading like wildfire within the pack. 

While some were genuinely happy for them—Jimin had always been adored by most, if not all the pack members, always doted on, until the mating announcement—it was inevitable that some would talk although they didn't dare do it in front of them. Jimin just knew they had something to say by the way their scrutinizing gazes often followed Jimin.  

Jimin couldn’t care less. The important people in his life were happy for him, and they were all that mattered to him.

Besides, he was really happy. 

The pack had started their yearly tradition of knitting clothes that they would give away to other packs. Jimin didn't forget to knit Jeongguk more scarves just like he promised; he did so with enthusiasm. Jimin decided to knit him one with an earthy color as he thought it would look nice on Jeongguk. The knitting came to him like breathing which was funny because he was barely able to  before. Jimin even earned praise from his pack mates for his knitting. He knitted faster than everyone else. 

When he gave the scarf, Jimin thought his heart would burst from the way Jeongguk smiled at him so beautifully. He said that he loved the scarf so much that he even lifted Jimin up to spin him around giddily.

Jimin was about to leave for his pack duties when Jeongguk grabbed his wrist.

"I have something to give you," Jeongguk said. "A gift."

*A gift? Why? What's the occasion?"

"There's no occasion. I just want to give you something. I-I want you to know how special you are to me, and this is one of my ways to show you that." 

Jeongguk handed him a folded beige colored fabric. Jimin scanned it for a moment before unfolding it in front of him.

He gasped, "A coat?" 

"I knitted it myself," Jeongguk said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You did? Since when did you learn to knit?" 

Alphas in their pack never knew how to knit. It was the omega's duty to learn and make one, a fair distribution in the duties.

Jeongguk nodded his head enthusiastically. "Last month, I asked my mother to teach me."

" Last month ? How are you so good already? I love it!" Jimin squeaked , he couldn't close his mouth, his legs bouncing from excitement. He brought the coat next to his face, and rubbed the fabric against his face. "Oh, my! It's so soft. I love it!" 

"You do? You love it that much?"

Jimin bounced his head excitedly, and wore the coat immediately, jumping a bit after successfully putting it on. It was a little big for him, reaching just below his knees, and both of his hands were barely peeking out of the sleeve but he loved it so much he thought it was perfect. 

"I do. Thank you!" Jimin said, dancing in front of Jeongguk silly, wiggling his butt. Jeongguk threw his head back in laughter.

They left for their pack duties wearing each other's gifts.

The nights started getting colder, the days getting shorter. The leaves turned into brilliant bursts of reds, oranges, and gold until the trees turned bare. The ground, and the roofs were filled with snow.

Time passed by quickly.

The next full moon arrived. 

Jeongguk became pack alpha.

Everything has been so peaceful lately. The whispers eventually died down, everyone became friendly towards Jimin. Whether it was genuine or out of respect, Jimin didn't care. His relationship with their pack members went back to the way it used to be. He could easily have conversations with them, and joke around as usual which made Jimin, inherently a social butterfly, the happiest. He loved being at peace with everyone. 

Right now, Jimin and Hoseok were seated on a wooden bench watching over the pups as they either threw snowballs at one another or lying on the snowed floor making snow angels.

These days, all Jimin did with Hoseok when they were free of duties was knit, and watch over as the pups played in the snow. They usually didn't pick fruits during winter, that was a duty for the alphas. 

Jimin was worried for a second when he saw one pup stumble when hit with a snowball right at his face, but laughed in relief when the pup got up laughing holding two huge snowballs in his hands, ready to avenge himself.

"How are pups so adorable?" Hoseok said, wiping at the side of his face. He probably saw what happened too. 

"So, when are you gonna have your own?" Jimin jested.

"W-What?" Hoseok sputtered. 

"Why is your face so red? It's not like you're a virgin!" Jimin laughed.

"You're one to talk!" Hoseok huffed. "As if I don't know how loud—" 

Jimin slapped a hand over his mouth in horror, but he couldn't contain his laughter as well. Jimin had a habit of laughing with his whole body when things got too funny, and he almost flipped over the bench if it weren't for Hoseok's quick reflexes.

"When are you going to have your pups?" Hoseok reversed . 

"We just mated, for fuck's sake," Jimin bit back playfully but his ruddy cheeks were a dead giveaway of how embarrassed he was. He hoped Hoseok would excuse it for him being cold.

"Even more so! You have to have a pup soon. If not, who's gonna play with mine?" 

"I should be the one saying that, you scummy old hermit!"

Hoseok gasped. "I'm only a year older than you!"

"No, you're not. You’re nine decades older than me!"

A year had passed since Jeongguk became pack alpha. 

The responsibilities that came with the position consumed most of his day. They barely saw each other during the day except for the mornings when they woke up next to one another, and had breakfast before heading to their duties, and at night before sleeping when they talked about things. From Jeongguk's plans for the pack's future to what Jimin wanted to eat for dinner because Jeongguk didn't have much to do, he could come home early to cook for his mate. 

Despite this, he never complained. Jimin understood the weight of the responsibility Jeongguk bore. In fact, he was proud of his mate for being so strong, and leading the pack so well. Despite the fear that the pack wouldn't respect Jeongguk as pack alpha because of not sticking to their traditions, the pack embraced him fully. Jeongguk led by example. The alphas followed his lead not because they feared him, but because they respect him and look up to him. Jimin couldn't contain the pride, and happiness swelling in his chest when he was reminded that Jeongguk was his alpha, his mate. He still couldn't believe such an admirable alpha was his .

Jimin thought that they would drift apart because of how little time they had for each other but that never happened because Jeongguk understood him—he knew him. 

He understood that Jimin needed a lot of reassurance, and Jeongguk gave him that unfailingly. He understood that his past mistakes left scars on Jimin, and he made up for them unfailingly.

Jimin told Jeongguk that his desire to get courted was just said in the heat of the moment. He told him that he was just upset, and that he was happy with how things were but his mate insisted. Jeongguk courted him in his own way. Like running him baths, bringing home oils that Jimin loved, knitting him clothes—he had knitted him a coat, a cape, and a scarf so far and he planned to knit more. Jeongguk would also bring home flowers that bloomed around the pack territory  on his way home to give it to Jimin, coupled with a sweet kiss on the lips. It may not mean much to others, but to Jimin, it meant the world. 

It meant the world to Jimin to be loved by the alpha he had loved his whole life.

It felt good to be loved. 

Jeongguk said he'd come home early today. Jimin was lying on his side on their bed waiting for his mate to come home. 

Lie down. 

That was all he did these days. Jimin's feet felt too sore, and his back ached too often for him to be able to stand on his feet, let alone do anything that required a lot of force. Besides, he felt too heavy, and it was really uncomfortable to move around. 

Jimin was trying so hard to fight off the drowsiness, trying his best to keep his eyes open. He wanted to wait for Jeongguk. He had missed him, to be with him. 

He had fallen asleep, and he wondered for how long. Jimin's eyes were barely open but he was already smiling.

Dried leaves, damp moss, and tree trunks .

Jeongguk was home, and he was kneeling in front of him with a puppy-like grin at the side of the bed beside him. Jeongguk handed him a purple daisy that Jimin accepted with a grin.

Jimin tried to sit up—he wanted to hug Jeongguk—but as expected, he was unable to. He hissed when his back ached. 

"Careful," Jeongguk said softly. Jimin made grabby hands at him. "Do you always have to be so cute?" He laughed.

Instead of helping Jimin up like he expected, Jeongguk joined him on the bed. 

"I missed you," Jeongguk pulled Jimin close carefully, Jimin's back flush to the alpha's chest. Jeongguk nosed down the column of his neck, scenting him. "How do you smell sweeter each day?" 

Jimin giggled, " Stop ." 

"I've been waiting to be with you all day. You were all I could think about while doing my duties. Glad I'm home," Jeongguk whispered, brushing his lips against the mating mark he left on Jimin's neck, and then all of a sudden, he licked it, making Jimin gasp.

"I'm too sleepy, and too sore for this." 

Jimin was yet to recover from last night. 

It took a lot of self-control, but Jeongguk was able to pull himself away from his mate. "I'm sorry," he said, nuzzling his neck instead.

"It's okay, silly."

"Does my love want anything?" Jeongguk asked, gently placing his hand above Jimin's swollen stomach.

"Nope."

"Do you want me to massage your feet? Do they hurt?" Jeongguk cooed, caressing his mate's stomach, as usual, every time he was with him. He wanted to feel them kick but most of the time, they were too shy and wouldn't.

"No, they're okay. Much better than other days." 

Jeongguk smiled against his neck. "Are you sure you don't want or need anything?" 

Jimin wondered what planet he had saved in his past life to deserve someone like Jeongguk. 

"What more could I possibly want? You've given me everything, and the thing I wanted the most in life," Jimin said, putting his hand on top of Jeongguk's hand on his stomach. "Pups." 

According to the healers, Jimin was bearing twin pups. A girl, and a boy. 

Jimin had no idea how much he cried when he found out that he was carrying a life inside him, especially when he found out they were twins . Jeongguk teased him about being a crybaby as if his eyes weren't swollen for a whole day from crying. 

"No. You did. You blessed me with our pups," he sniffled. It was impossible for Jeongguk not to get emotional when talking about their pups. "Thank you for staying with me. For always choosing me." 

"That's because I love you so much." 

"I love you so much, and our pups. Our twins, I love them so much."

Jeongguk leaned over to press a kiss on his stomach, talking to the unborn pups.  

"They said they love you, too." 

Jeongguk buried his head in Jimin's neck to cry. Jimin tried to hold back a laugh but he couldn't. His alpha was such a softhearted crybaby. He just let him cry, cooing at him. 

"I have a name for our pups. I thought about it for a while, but you should be honest with me about what you think. It's fine if you don't like them," Jimin said. Jimin had turned around, now facing Jeongguk. Jimin puffed his cheeks out of habit, and it never failed to bring a smile to Jeongguk's face. He was more comfortable like this.

"You know I'd love everything you name our pups," Jeongguk said, pressing a soft kiss on Jimin's cheek.

"But still ," Jimin whined.

"Okay, okay," he laughed.

"Jeongin for the boy and Ji Ae,” Jimin said, and looked at Jeongguk expectantly.

Jeongguk looked at him, and Jeongguk’s eyes might be shining with tears but he looked hishappiest like this. "I love them. Jeongin and Ji Ae. Lovely, just like them." 

There were still dark days—days when they felt the light didn’t reach the forest floor,  and past the canopy dim—when mottled sunlight peppering the earth was their only guide through the deep wood. Still, even when forests grew too dense, and seemed impossible to navigate, when the riptides seemed strong enough to pull them under, they found purchase in each other. 

As long as they were together they would always find their way back home.