Archive of Our Own ^beta

Stella had phoned Emily, a heaviness in her voice that the nineteen year old noted from the beginning, making her throat tighten. Something was wrong and she was too terrified to ask what.

“Your grandmother, she had a stroke and a pretty bad fall. I think you should come down.”

Emily felt her chest contract at the news and let the phone call linger before agreeing. Stella’s mother had been long gone before Emily had even gotten the opportunity to meet her, meaning that this was Maggie.

Emily knew that she should feel grief, fear, and sadness following the call, but all she could feel was a lingering weight. It was no secret that Maggie struggled, that having a daughter married to a woman made her cheeks redden when she ran into individuals at church, or sat beside them in restaurants when their hands were linked together.

There was one thing Emily knew, and it was that her grandmother was ashamed of her parents, and felt distaste in her mouth when she called on the fact that Emily was not born of a traditional union.

Grumbling, the young girl packed up her things from her small dorm closet, a black outfit, and most of her course work, not knowing how long she would be away.

The train ride had been a silent journey. Normally she opted for movies, music, or reading to pass the time, but she simply sat and worried about what she’d be coming home to. In the past she had been furious with her mother for keeping Maggie in their lives, for chastising her into respecting the woman- so she worried that she’d be returning to chaos.

Her train pulled in as the sun set over the bustling city, her blonde mother waiting wearily on the platform with tired eyes. At the notice of her other mother’s absence, Stella assured her that Scully would be joining them at home.

Emily relished in the warmth of her mother, knowing that she’d be able to count on her during this time while Scully dealt with this monumental life shift. She would never admit it, but in the past months Stella had been Emily’s main source of contact back home, finding it easier to converse with her when she had a problem, was missing home, or simply needed to talk.

She loved Dana dearly, but Stella’s open mind and heart drew their developing daughter in when she was looking for support. However, Emily could tell that she had been the pillar of strength for the couple in the last few days, knowing how her redheaded mother reacted to situations such as this.

“How’s mom?” She finally questioned as Stella pulled into the pizza shop, the order placed before she had gone to retrieve the young girl at the station. The blonde bit down on her lip and exhaled slowly, unsure how to answer that question.

“She’s excited to have you down for the weekend.”

…

Both women entered the house with the steaming pizza and duffel bag slung over Emily’s shoulder. Scully’s car had been parked out front, so she quickly scanned the front room to see if her mother was present in the home.

“She’s probably in our room, go on in and say hi.” Stella tried, a smile attempting to poke out of the corners of her mouth as she set the box down on the table, spreading the paper plates out along with the stray packets of peppers that only Stella seemed to enjoy.

Emily nodded and dropped her bag at the sofa, trailing down the hall towards the large French doors that led into the master bedroom. Poking her head inside she noticed the small sleeping frame in the corner of the bed, still completely dressed in her clothes from work with a throw blanket covering her shivering frame that she had snatched from what used to be her bedroom.

Taking a slight breath she crept over towards the side of the mattress and slid onto the edge, the slight dip causing Scully to flick her eyes open hastily. Upon seeing the face of her only child her gaze softened and she slid into a sitting position in order to embrace Emily warmly, her grip unlike what she was expecting from the sleepy woman.

“Hi baby.” She breathed, Emily automatically noticing the distinct circles under her eyes, the way her hair was tied back into a ponytail- which she knew was only worn when she didn’t have the energy to deal with her long red tresses.

Her mother was tired and the budding of the inevitable grief was apparent.

“Hi mom.” She whispered back, unsure as what to say next, the both of them sitting in silence as their reality sat heavily on their shoulders, unspoken and unacknowledged.

“Mum got pizza, come have some with us.” Emily urged, her words making Scully smile tiredly and nod, swinging her legs off the edge of the bed before kicking her black heels off and onto the floor before following out to the kitchen where Stella was setting two pieces on one plate for Scully, clearly different from her own which were covered in chili flakes.

“Hi there.” Stella smiled, grateful that Emily was able to get Scully out of the room and possibly to eat something in the process. She had been keeping a watchful vigil at Maggie’s bedside for nearly three days, and no matter what she insisted on keeping up with her watch until the end.

The three shrunk into their seats and quietly began eating, the young girl noticing how Scully scarfed down her food, famished from her long and stressful day, making her wrinkle her nose at the thought, annoyance urging her forward.

“Mom, you can’t be sitting there at the hospital all day without leaving or eating, it’s not good for you.” Emily pointed out quietly, keeping her eyes glued on the plate while Stella sat back and observed quietly, her hands folded in front of her.

“Em, I can’t be leaving your grandmother on her own all day, your Uncle Bill-.”

“Maggie and Bill. They’re ignorant and I don’t want to be related to ignorant people.” Emily swiftly cut off, challenging her mother who sat wearily and pursed her lips in disapproval towards the young girl.

“Emily stop that. Not tonight, please.” Scully requested, but her frustrations from the day began building up, prompting her to push her plate away and cross her arms at her mother with a huff.

“How can you sit here and defend her, both of them- from being ashamed of you, of us!” Emily cried, her protests causing Stella to exhale shakily while Scully pressed her eyes together to find any lingering patience.

“Emily, she’s my mother and your grandmother. I know it’s frustrating, but she tries, but you have pushed her so far away to notice how far she’s come.” Scully bit back, her voice faltering as she leaned in towards the table, rubbing her temples.

“She should’ve just accepted us from the beginning! You’re her fucking daughter-!”
“Emily do not swear at your mother.” Stella chastised firmly, her voice booming over the table, but her daughter barely acknowledged her, the both of them working themselves up.

“What kind of family is this? Keeping the homophobic family members around and just pretending like they don’t exist? She didn’t talk to you for months after you came out with mum! How are we supposed to just forget that!” Emily shouted, her face red with anger, the same way Dana’s would whenever she would get worked up.

“She couldn’t even acknowledge mum when you two started dating- and she thought I was some kind of sin because I wasn’t born from some sacred union between a man and woman! You are just too insecure to realize that you are just turning a blind eye!” Her words flying out as she recalled the stories that she had heard in regards to her grandmother, furious that all of this cloak and dagger was being used for a woman who didn’t deserve it.

“Emily-!”

“She has come a long way from then, and that was long before you were even born Emily, and that whole situation was between her and I and you know what- I have forgiven her. She has since then apologized, and we have been working on growing from there. You cannot make judgements based on other stories that have been told to you. She has been trying and trying for years to try and right things!” Dana cried back, now rising from her seat as she argued back.

“I can’t do that. I can’t look past all of that.” Emily declared, leaning back into her chair with arms folded tightly in front of her chest, making Stella rub her brow bone tiredly.

“Well then why did you come down, Emily? If you didn’t want to participate in any of this.” Scully demanded wearily, her eyes brimming with tears as she stared her down, awaiting her response.

“Because I was afraid you were going to burn out from all of this! Mom made it sound like you were going to fall over from all of the stress and intentional heartache that you put yourself through! I knew that you always put so much of your worth into this relationship with your mother and that it would just break you when she inevitably goes, so I came!” Now the young girl was just trying everything she could to hurt the woman across from her, furious with everyone at the moment.

“I hate what she’s done to you, and I hate her even now.” Emily bit off, her intentions of remaining mild and unbothered throughout this whole weekend now flying out the window as she fought relentlessly.

Scully’s eyes flinched with the final comment, pushing herself away from the table as she stumbled down the hall, slamming the doors with a hearty slam. Stella simply shot a glare in her direction and took a centering breath before Emily dropped her face into her hands, trying her hardest not to cry.

“You need to make this right.” Stella finally urged, pursing her lips against her folded hands, never breaking her eye contact with her daughter.

“I can’t.” Emily croaked, forcing the blonde to sigh and scoot closer carefully.

“Look, I wasn’t the biggest fan of your grandmother either. She made things difficult for your mother when we first started seeing one another, but she has seen the error in her ways, and realized that she cared too much about mom to let this come between them. She has changed, and has been trying, she’s not perfect and we helped her grow, but she is the only mother your mom has.” Stella urged, clearing her throat before urging Emily’s eyes in her direction.

“My mother truly tossed me to the side when she found out. She wanted nothing to do with me when she realized this wasn’t just a phase in my life, and didn’t care that she let her ignorance get in the way of our relationship. Maggie could’ve done that, but in the end, she loves your mom very much, and the both of us. She was old fashioned, but she prided herself on educating herself every chance she got.” Stella pointed out.

“Yeah, she’d blush when I kiss your mom, or take a few seconds to remind herself that love is love, but in the end she was able to say that she was Dana Scully’s mother, and that despite her need to grow, she was happy for her, and that she loved the family we built.” Stella waited, watching Emily exhale shakily before nudging her.

“You don’t have to flip a switch overnight, but be gentle with your mother, respect her need to mourn and see her out on her final days. And apologize for what you said.” Her voice was firm, letting Emily know that the last bit wasn’t a suggestion, that she needed to right what she had wronged.

“Talk to her in the morning, she leaves for the hospital around five.”

…

The house was quiet, and the vibrating of Emily’s phone told her to get up as the clock blinked four thirty. Quietly the young girl climbed out of bed and sat on the edge, unsure of what she’d say to her mother that she had so fiercely hurt the night before.

She had tossed and turned all night, recalling the painful sobs that she heard from across the hall, along with her blonde mother’s calming assurances to eventually get her mother to sleep. She had fucked up badly.

She could make out the sounds of the coffee machine clicking on, telling her to grab her robe and follow the noise down the hall. She swallowed upon the sight of her mother pouring the contents into her travel mug, dressed in a grey sweatshirt and matching bottoms, her heels now replaced with jogging shoes. She felt her heart sink at the sight of her swollen eyes, swallowing thickly.

“Mom…” She began, but Scully just took a shaking breath before glancing at her daughter who seemed to be so small beneath her robe.

“Emily, I can’t- I can’t talk right now. The hospital called and I need to get over there.” Scully stammered, not meaning to sound angry, but her tone definitely colder than she had intended.

The young girl nodded and watched as she raced out of the door.

Padding into their master bedroom, Emily gently shook Stella until she was awake, her eyes now wild with panic as she realized the other side of the bed was empty.

“Can you take me to the hospital please?”

…

The lobby to the ICU was cold and unwelcoming, both Stella and Emily perched on the uncomfortable seats as they watched Scully through the glass paneled doors. Nurses worked relentlessly until one turned towards her and whispered some information, rendering Scully a sobbing mess.

Emily bit her lip and linked her hand into Stella’s while the nurses removed tubes and machines, only leaving her attached to just one that was monitoring the faltering lines on the screen.

“Should we go in?” Emily whispered, her eyes glued to the sight before her, but Stella just squeezed her hand and linked an arm around her daughter’s shoulder.

“Not yet, let her say what she needs, then we can.” Her mother urged, the both of them waiting patiently until Scully sat up and glanced over at the door, nodding for them to join her.

Emily swallowed thickly and followed her mother inside, Stella immediately finding her wife and wrapping her arms around her from behind while Dana held onto her mother’s hand.

Then Emily felt it, even if it wasn’t her own undying love for Maggie, it was a wave of intense empathy that she couldn’t shake. Standing in her mother’s spot, having to say goodbye to the parent who loved you in such an intimate way that you couldn’t even put it into words. The feeling tugged on her deeply, her chest now heavy with sadness for her mother that she had hurt so badly.

The three of them sat quietly as the sound began to fade, Scully’s knees nearly giving out if it weren’t for Stella’s steady grip on her as the silence hit.

A lump formed in the young girl’s throat as she watched Scully lean over and kiss Maggie before turning into Stella’s welcoming arms, sobbing heartily into her sweater.

Nurses came in and took care of the logistics, allowing Stella to carefully usher them away for them to work. Noticing her daughter’s now budding tears, Stella carefully opened one arm to her, embracing the both of them warmly.

“I’m so sorry, love.”

…

Emily sat beside her distraught mother in the waiting room, the both of them silent as she worked up her courage to speak while her other mother was off taking care of some paperwork and making calls to Bill and Charlie.

“Mom, I’m really sorry about last night.” She breathed, unsure of what to say moving forward, however Dana just looked up from her hands and over towards her daughter.

“I know what I said was pretty unforgivable, but I just need you to know that I don’t hate her. I was just mad, and upset, but, it was no excuse.” She cried, losing her ability to eloquently apologize while her mother stared at her with watery eyes.

“Thank you.” She managed, taking the young girl by surprise as she reached over and pulled her daughter tight, her trespass forgiven while she clung onto her, relishing in her presence.

"I forgive you." No longer wanting to hang onto anger and hurt after losing her mother, she could let the peace in for her own sake and keep her daughter close.

However what Emily had said was true, she would work on her relationship and view of her grandmother moving forward, but she truly was there for Dana, this time with a little more compassion behind her motivations.