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Chapter Text

“YANGYANG PUT HENDE- Lucas?”, Kun stopped his mental headcount and went back into the practice room to find the tallest member of the band. He saw the usually loud boyfriend lingering at the desk, sluggishly packing his bag. 
Kun ignores the loud shouts of playfight, coming from none other than the maknae line, and places a hand on Lucas’ back who slightly jumped at the contact.

“Ge?”
“What’s wrong, baobei?” Kun asks softly, for him all his boyfriends are equally important but something about the upset small face of the usually energetic lover made Kun want to hug him and keep him away from all the troubles. 

Lucas sighed, “Ge…I made messed up so much today, didn’t I?” Kun frowns at that. “Everyone does Yukhei. It’s alright.”
“Still…can I practice a bit more? I will order something from the cafe I promise.”
Kun considered his words for a moment, “You better send me a snap of it and come back home soon, okay? We have a full day of practice tomorrow anyways.” 
Yukhei hugs him and turns him to the door before he starts mothering again. “I will be fine Kun-ge, go home. The kids will drive others crazy.” Kun chuckles. “Don’t shoo me.” He complains as he shuts the door and joins the others near the elevator to go back home. 

Lucas sits down on the floor as soon as Kun’s footsteps fade away. He runs his fingers through his hair, doing his best to not pull at them. He flops down, looking up the ceiling of the practice room. His phone chimes and its a message from an unknown number.

You shouldn’t have blocked me againnn Lulu. I am hurt.

Lucas blocked the number again. He had already talked to their managers to get another number but till then he had to put up with it. It was due to the constant calls and threats sent if the calls were blocked and ended that made Lucas stumble and make an unusual amount of mistakes during the rehearsal. Of course it didn’t go unnoticed by their choreographer who managed to keep his patience till the end only to lose it slightly at the end. 

On that note, Lucas decided to get up and actually practice like he had said. 

Luna watched from the door and decided to give it an half an hour before she approached Lucas. She merely grinned and went to her desk to prepare for what was to come. 

An hour later Lucas’ stomach grumbled while he tried to figure out the new steps taught today. “Ugh right food.” 
He calls manager Noona who answered cheerfully even though it was nearing 11 in the night. 
“Hello, Noona could you get me the chocolate milkshake and the chicken wrap from the cafe? Please?”
“Sure sure. Although I am surprised you didn’t go home.”
“Ah yeah I wanted to practice more. I told Kun-g—I mean hyung to go home and rest.”
“Then all is good. I bring up the order to usual practice room?”
“Yeah”
Luna hangs up and gets off her chair. She practically skip her way down to fulfil the request of her Lulu.

Lucas waits in the practice room scrolling through Weibo until there was a knock on the door. He opened the door to reveal the owner of the feminine voice he had been talking to earlier. “Thank you. Thank you Manager-him.” Luna smiles back at the young boy. “No worries. Mind if I stay? I got myself the strawberry shake.” Lucas smiles at how she almost jumped like a little kid. “Why not?” Lucas steps back to let her in. They both settle at the desk and the couch and silently consume their own orders, making occasional comments. 
Luna however had a watchful eye on her Lulu as he finished his meal. Lucas finished his wrap slowly, having already finished his drink since he was too thirsty earlier. 
As he ate, what he thought was fatigue set in, his eyelids getting heavier and his stomach losing its appetite. He still managed to power to through the wrap and tried to sit up straighter. He blinks and looks at his manger, “Ah I am so tired suddenly.” He gets up sluggishly and tries to stretch in an attempt to refresh his body.
Luna watches him, “Why don’t I drop you back home?” Lucas looks like he considered it for a minute and then nods.
Luna gets up and cleans up the desk. “Go get your stuff then. I will tell sunbaenim.”
Lucas gathers his stuff as fast as he could with his sore limbs getting heavier. 
Luna makes quick work of texting her senior. She waits for him near the elevator outside making sure it’s empty. Lucas follows her, his feet dragging. 
Once they reach the parking lot, she ushers Lucas to her private van very similar to ones used by the company. She dumps her cracked phone in one of the dustbins in the parking lot. 
She gets in after Lucas and starts driving out of the company lot.
Lucas leans back into the seat, looking out of the window. He wished he went back with his boyfriends(he already missed their warmth and chaos) due to the awkward silence in the air but he was way too exhausted to do anything about it.
He was too exhausted to even notice when his eyes slipped shut or the small whisper coming from his side. “Night night Lulu.”

Chapter Text

When Lucas woke up the first thing he noticed was that it definitely didn’t smell like home. He shifted on whatever he was sitting on only to not be able to move. He opens his eyes but it didn’t do much since the room was plunged in darkness without even any sort of window to let air or light in. He looked down and tried to move. His hands, legs and chest were tied to the chair with ropes and metal chains. His mouth was filled with some sort of cloth tied at the back of his head.
Lucas wondered tiredly how the hell he even reached here. He was on his way home with manager Kang. He tries to look around, hoping she wasn’t in the same condition as him. He gave up after not being able to see anything and closed his eyes, thoughts racing sluggishly, the drugs still in effect. His eyes closed on their own and he fell back into slumber.

A figure stepped out of a dark abandoned alley on the other side of the town, removing the black gloves used to discard the idol’s phone. The said phone was deep in a trash can, vibrating silently due to the spam of messages and calls.
A groan sounded in the WayV dorms, Kun ran a hand down his face. “Argh I told him to come home soon.” Ten patted Kun’s shoulder. Their stressed leader had already reached out to their managers too only to be told that Lucas had already left with the new manager however both were not picking up any calls. Yangyang scrolled through fan pages to look up any updates or information about his gege. Ten’s phone rings. “Yes hyung?”
Taeyong on the other side of the line was equally distressed on how to tell the younger ones. Yuta rubbed his back comfortingly. Taeyong took a deep breath and started,“Um Ten put the phone on speaker please.”
Ten does as told. “Guys apparently no company car is missing. All of them are here. She took some private car, the surveillance footage shows that the number plates are covered.”
Few soft curses echo through the dorm. Xiaojun speaks up from the couch. “Can’t we like track his phone?”
Yuta adds in to save his distressed bandmate, holding his hand tightly,“Yeah they are trying to get the police involved and get it done. Meanwhile please get some rest guys, its for each and everyone of you.”
Ten speaks up, “Yes hyung, thank you…night.” Yuta reciprocates and hangs up. He escorts his leader back to the bed and hugs him in hopes of calming him down. “He might be just somewhere out distracted. Don’t worry.”
Kun looks at the youngest three, “Go to bed. All three of you. Please.” They obey him for once and leave for the three person room. He turns to Sicheng and Ten. “You two too.” Sicheng shakes his head,” No ge, you too should get some sleep.”
Kun sighs and nods. Ten smiles at the younger one and takes both their hands pulling them to the other room.
In another corner of Seoul, the empty basement was flooded with dim lights. A tall figure walks closer to the knocked out boy, a small sharp knife sheathed twirling between his fingers. He bends over the chair and unsheathes the knife. He drags the knife across the right cheek of 3the idol. Not too deep but enough to make the cut bleed out. He gathers a bit of blood on his thumb and smears it across the other cheek and then sucks the leftover crimson liquid. “God you are so slow.”, sounds from behind him. He turns to see the petite girl who brought the boy to him. “It’s my turn to have fun and I don’t want him awake just yet.”
“Don’t worry the drug is strong enough to last for one whole day.”
“More the fun.”
He turns back to his victim and starts tearing his clothes open, making cuts across his warm skin and letting them bleed out freely.
An hour later the girl who had taken a seat across the room and had almost dozed off, sat up abruptly due to the loud smack echoing through the room.
Her partner, Dak-ho had just slapped her Lulu hard. “Yeah! Leave his face alone.”
“Aw but it’s no fun.”
“I don’t care. Not his face.”
Dak-ho inspected the bleeding gashes on the forehead and cheek and the split lip. “Fine”
He started punching the boy where he made cuts, the skin around them darkening and bruising. Lucas simply whimpered through the gag and shifted, the drugs still heavy on his mind.
When Dak-ho finally finished he took the burner phone from his pocket and shot a video of the boy’s wound, even throwing in a hard punch which got another sound of pain from the unconscious boy. He stopped the video and sent the video to the number of the eldest in the group. He finished the message with a threat and an amount. The moment the message was received he destroyed the phone and put the pieces in a plastic bag. He nodded at Luna and walked out.

Kun was still awake at three in the morning, watching Ten and Winwin who were cuddling and had tried to pull him in too but his mind was clouded with too many thoughts of the safety of their giant baby. His phone pinged and he immediately turned towards it and reached for it. It was a message from their manger hyung. He gets out of the bed slowly and walks out. He checks on his didis who are cuddled together in the two beds joined together. The youngest was in between, Hendery’ hand on his head and Xiaojun’s arm around both Hendery and Yangyang. His heart both at the same time swelled up with affection of the three and ached at the absence of the tallest boyfriend of their small cuddle pile. He walked into the living room and clicked open the message saying that Lucas’ phone was found in a dumpster and so was manager’s phone. Kun glares up at the ceiling when his phone pings again. He opens the message from the unknown number, his heart dropping further into his chest as he reads the threat. He plays the video and tears well up in his eyes. The sight of Xuxi hurt makes him want to hurl and the pained sound has him clenching his fists until his nails hurt his palms.
He forwards the video to the managers with shaky hands and slid down the wall in despair. “I shouldn’t have let him stay back.”

Chapter Text

The next time that Lucas wakes up he is in a different position. He is hanging from the ceiling, hands tied above his head with metal chains, feet shackled by weights. He registers the pain blooming across his chest and the stickiness on his skin. He opens his eyes to find himself in a dimly lit room with an empty chair in front of him.  

“Ah- AHH”, as soon as Lucas let out a groan he felt something hit his back hard. 

Dak-ho wraps the long whip once more around his hand and strikes the tall boy across the back again. 

Lucas bites back a scream trying to get away from it. Luna steps in  front of him. Her 7 inch heels clicking against the floor. She cups his cheek and strokes it. Lucas glares at her, “What the he-AH”

Dak-ho strikes him again, “You are at her mercy, watch how you speak kid.”

He grits out, “Don’t you dare touch me.” 

“Fine I won’t. For now. But my pet will.” She unwinds the long bracelet she always wore with a snake head and the metal straightens out like a whip. She strikes at him and he feels the metal bite into his arms. His eyes are shut while both of them lash at him, metal and rope bruising his skin. Again and again. 

While in the company all the 22 members are locked down in the building, all their schedules cancelled for security issues. All the members except the two leaders are in one of the biggest practice rooms, scattered around mostly trying to distract themselves or comfort another. 

Kun refuses to watch the second video, sent half an hour ago, eyes shut tight, leaking tears and rocking gently, hands under his thighs to avoid from shutting his ears.  Taeyong wraps his arms tightly around the younger one, he understands why Kun is reacting the way he is. It’s heartbreaking to watch their Yukhei crying out in pain, tears flowing down his face as he is hurt by some hateful strangers. The video ends and Kun slowly opens his eyes. He hugs back Taeyong who seems on the edge of crying too.  

Everyone turns to the CEO, waiting for the verdict on the path of action. 

“Are the authorities informed?”

“Yes sir, the cops blocked all the roads heading out of Seoul, airports are also under a detailed scan. Other than that, there are three search teams sent.”

“Good, it doesn’t have to get out of hand than it is.” 

The staff nods, Kun simply couldn’t put a finger on what that meant. He looks at Taeyong and seeing the leader looking away almost glaring he figured whatever their CEO was upto would not be any good.

“What’s the ransom amount?”

“10 million….US dollars.” Silence took over the room. 

“Everyone except Hwan-ssi leave. Call Commissioner Kim…”

The rest of it drowned out as Taeyong and Kun were led out of the room. They went back to their members who stopped whatever they were doing the moment the door opened. Anxious and worried faces turned and headed to them. “They are in a meeting.” 

Jungwoo looks at Kun asks,”Yukhei? What about him? Did they give any proof about having him other than the ransom amount?” Taeyong and Kun had decided not to show the others the video. They knew it would be too much to handle right now and there wasn’t much time to pick everyone up. 

Taeyong covered for Kun, knowing Jungwoo would see through Kun’s lie after all they have known each other for long. “Yes, but just a picture. He seems fine, knocked out but fine.” Jungwoo sighs and shuts his eyes. He thanks whatever deity there is out there in his mind.

Another manager comes in and tells them to settle down and that they will be staying here in the company till everything settles. The groups other than the Chinese unit are told to go back to their within the company schedule. 

The members leave one by one, offering small consoling words to those left behind. Taeyong looks at Kun,”We will bring him back.” Kun nods emptily and Taeyong walks out. The manager tells them to do whatever they want and leaves. Kun looks at his boyfriends and gives them what he hopes is a comforting smile. “Kun-ge, Xuxi will be okay right?” It’s not Yangyang but Xiaojun who asks meekly, face glum. Ten hugs Xiaojun when it seems like Kun was paralysed on his spot. Hendery scolds Xiaojun lightly,”Yeah he will be back. Geges are taking care of it.” He too joins in the hug. Kun merely stands there watching,”He is right…get a nap guys, I will be back.”

Kun leaves and as soon as he is out of his room, he bolts to his small studio. He sits on the floor, door locked and lets out the tears he was holding back,”Lies. Lies. Lies”

Lee Soo-man looks at the police representative who asked him about the payment of the ransom.

“Aniyo, these people don’t need more encouragement to pull such stunts.”

Taeyong who was in the outside the bathroom listening in the setting through the phone call felt the floor slide beneath his feet. He fell down to the floor just as the eldest of the group caught him,”Taeyong! Taeyong!” 

The leader looked at his hyung,”Hyung…don’t tell anyone…they…th-they won’t pay the ransom.” Taeil looked equally shocked,”How…how could they not?!” Taeyong shakes his head helplessly. Taeil hugs him and comforts him. Kun who was on his way to meet Taeyong watches them from the corner, his blood cold. He turns and runs away. The words of Taeyong on his mind. 

They won’t pay the ransom.

Chapter Text

Days past restlessly for all 23 members of NCT. The rest of the members got to know that the company won’t pay the ransom and tried to talk to their seniors in hopes of changing their decision. However the company was firm about “trusting the authorities and cooperating with them to bring Lucas back”. However the members saw no real efforts from neither the company nor the officials.

Winwin had even walked out of their practice room, angrily marching towards the CEO’s office while rest of the lovers desperately tried to hold him back. “HOW CAN HE TELL US TO BE NORMAL?! HIS LIFE IS AT STAKE, XUX-“, Kun slaps a hand on the taller boy’s mouth and pushes him back into the room. Hendery runs to call Yuta, winwin ge’s best friend to calm down enraged Sicheng. Yuta hurries back with him and pulls Sicheng into a tight hug, he takes him away to comfort him in peace. Ten sighs, pulling on his hair. Kun pats his back and tells him and Yangyang to go rest. The leader knows how the two are known for spilling stuff without noticing and while this once he really wants them to he also knows the cost of it. He settles down with the other two and starts the Vlive as instructed. They don’t mention the other members at all, being carefully tightlipped about the situation. They try their best to joke around, Hendery smartly taking the lead and Kun following with Xiaojun.

In the dimly lit basement Luna laughs at the live playing on her phone. “These people?”, She looks at the tired face of her beloved Lulu,”You really think these people love you?” Lucas thinks about the consequences of his action yet nods. Dak-ho slaps him out of anger, making his head snap and his vision spin. Luna places a comforting hand on his stinging cheek only to slap him again. “They don’t. Look how they are laughing. They forgot you Lucas. You are anything but a memory now. Or maybe you never meant nothing to them. After all who would date your sorry ass?” Lucas’ eyes water up and tears stream down his face quickly. He had not dare to look up at the video yet. Luna rakes her fingers through his dirty messy hair and pulls his head up. Lucas winces and ends up looking at the live. He sees his boyfriend’s smiling faces. “What do you think they thought after they saw you at our mercy hm? I am sure they cheered on it, might have even given it a toast saying good he is dead. That’s what he deserves. Just another pretty dumb boy. Let’s send them a reminder, shall we? See how they react.” Dak-ho shoots another video of Lucas while Luna pulls on his hair and shows his body which was a bloody state of art. Luna had argued that crimson looks good on the boy. Then Dak-ho hands the camera to Luna who moves off the boy’s lap. He cracks his knuckles and starts punching the younger boy, he ends with a solid kick to his ribs which leaves the gagged boy to let out a muffled scream. Luna ends the video and sends it to the number. He switches the live off.

Taeyong opens his eyes, letting go of the comfort of dark and looks at the CEO. “Please pay the ransom, I will do anything but please get Lucas back safe and sound. Please.” Taeyong kneels in front of the CEO. He knows any member would have in his place so he doesn’t feel even a bit of embarrassment.

Hendery feels the vibration of a phone on the couch. He looks at Kun and then back at the camera, smiling, “Our Kun-ge is always so busy that he gets texts all the time.” He laughs teasingly and Xiaojun joins the clowning of their ge. Kun just puts on smiles and rolls his eyes.
Luna chuckles too,”Busy, busy, busy. He is too busy for you. See Lulu?”

Kun checks his phone while the other two are busy interacting which Jungwoo who just walked in. He sees who the message is from and secretly gulps. He ignores the message and the fast pounding of his heart and continues the live despite the clamminess of his hands.
Jungwoo decides to help them out by sticking around. Kun leaves it upto him and zones out, mind racing. Luna laughs at the boys fooling on camera while Lucas cries helplessly. It’s too much, the physical pain added with the knowledge that his members, his geges and didis don’t care about him. He cries until his eyes slip shut and he welcomes the darkness. Luna switches off the live feeling satisfied.

Kun tells the hungry members gathered in the room to go get them snacks, even offering his card to them. He had made his decision. Once the members leave he snatches his phone and watches the video which was audio less this time. But it was clear, his Xuxi, his baby was crying and wounded and exhausted. He quickly makes the work of posting the video and the photo of the traitor, haphazardly cropped out of a group picture. He looks at the camera, his views increasing and comments running by fast. “Guys Lucas….he got kidnapped.”

It’s been a hour, Taeyong’s mind feels numb as he pulls on his jacket again, shakily getting up to leave. The CEO’s phone rings insistently and the man finally answers. “What?!”
“Get him here. RIGHT NOW.” Taeyong flinches and wonders what went wrong. The older man glares at him,”GET OUT.”
Taeyong scrambles and leaves the room, limping. He goes up to the roof, his safe place in the company building. He sits there and cries as he recounts the last hour.

A sharp slap resonates through the room, thankfully the room is the one farthest from the practice rooms, Kun thinks. His cheek stings, the chaos around him is scary but Kun knows it’s good. His didi will get the help he needs.

Jungwoo who had come earlier into the practice room again to fetch what he needed and had overheard Kun confessing the whole situation to the fans on live. He remained hidden and then followed the managers who dragged a numb Kun to the CEOs office. He tried to overhear whatever was happening from outside but all he heard was the slap. He shuts his eyes and thinks, if Kun is doing this, going against the direct orders of the man behind SM then things must be really bad. He keeps silent and goes back to the rest of the boys.

Chapter Text

Wake up. Feel dirty hands. Take the hits. Eat. Sleep. That was how Lucas’ week could be described roughly. He woke up to a kick in his already paining ribs. He truly wondered if there was any part of him untouched or left without a deep ache. He groans and turns his face into the cold hard floor. This only results in the man in front of him to pull him roughly out of the small cage given to him to sleep in. He shut his eyes and tried to struggle against the pull. Dak-ho growled, he sat on the boy’s back and pulled his arm back.
“NO AHH.” Lucas felt ripping pain through his shoulder and then a pop which seemed to have satisfied his tortured who let it go. Lucas cried through his gag, biting on it hard. His shoulder was dislocated and the pain was indescribable. Luna stroked his head and then scratched her nails down his back, leaving red angry marks on his already bruised skin.
Her hands travel down to his bottom and his thighs and Lucas feels humiliation rush through him yet he had no energy to move. Over the week Lucas’ hope only reduced and reduced. He was made to watch snippets of his friends, his members on live, laughing and fooling around. Dak-ho passes Luna the ugly green jumpsuit he got from the dock members near by and together they wrestle the outfit on the boy who trashed in pain with his good arm but he was too weak to do any damage.
After all the only nutrition he had been getting is an IV for half an hour everyday. Lucas’ eyes flutter in exhaustion once they are done, lying limp in the traitor’s lap. “Lulu wake up baby, it’s show day.” Dak-ho puts up a hand and grins. He holds Lucas’ ankle and twists it hard, making the boy scream and thrash violently. Dak-ho let go when he was convinced that the boy was awake and dragged him to the shutter separating the present room to the garage. Luna lifts the shutter enough for them to get through. Dak-ho picks up Lucas from under his arms when he pulls him into the garage and dumps him in the back of the car. Lucas didn’t not even register where he was until he was tied to some belts attached to the car and the hatch shut.
The other two got in the front and the girl started driving to their location.
In the SM Building, Kun took in all the taunts and the harsh scoldings and even the lashes he got when he was alone. He had expected it and knew it would be worse today. Fans from all around the world are emailing petitions on petitions to rescue their favourite idol. People are desperately trying to even collect donations however SM couldn’t accept them. Fandoms united to show the NCTzens their support and all of companies actions were scrutinised. SM had accept the fans’ demand and decided to pay the ransom or so they said.
Kun had stumbled upon the meeting when the executives and the officers were coming up with a plan to trick the kidnappers. Kun had stormed in and begged them to just get Xuxi back which resulted in another session of thrashing for the leader.
Kun sat up wearily again and bowed to the senior executive manager, “Please get Xuxi back. Safe and sound please.” “Give me your phone.” Kun hands over his phone after unlocking it. The executive walks out of the storage room and back to the meeting room. Kun can only pray that his pleads did not fall on deaf ears.

Taeyong was in one corner of the room talking to their choreographer when he feels the choreographer’s fingers ghost on his waist and he freezes. One glance at the mirror shows that the other boys are busy in their own world and he glances to the choreographer who was smirking, “Is it true that you are a little whore who opens his legs to get what he wants?” Taeyong shuts his eyes, grits his teeth and shakes his head. He pulls away and bows to the choreographer. He mutters a small farewell and heads towards the boys, his skin itching minutely where the choreographer touched.

In the meeting room of the SM building, various approaches were discussed. The CEO and the officers dismissing half of them. Finally after an hour they reached a conclusion and soon enough a video of the boy in question was sent to Kun again. This time the reply to the kidnappers was different.
We are ready with the ransom amount.

Chapter Text

To say Kun was scared was an understatement, but as usual, he put a brave mask for his precious didis who clung to him after finding out that he was leaving with a manager to get their Xuxi back. The elders insisted that they need to come and won’t accept anything else while the younger ones hugged him, securing at least one part of him for themselves, including Chenle and Renjun who had come to lighten the mood last night.
Kun pull his hand back from Renjun’s and patted each of them on their head. “I will be back with Xuxi before you know it. I promise, my little babies.” He slowly pulls away from all of them after convincing all of them to wait at home, smiling despite the tight knot of fear in his stomach. He shoots Ten and Winwin with a look which lets them know that they are in charge till he returns. He wears his shoes and steps out of their dorm, letting his thoughts take over for the rest of the way, barely registers the phone conversation he has with Taeyong, who was trying to ease his nerves, in the car. He could handle the hate he was getting, he could handle the hits and harsh treatment too, he could even stomach not getting any lines or screen time but he couldn’t handle his babies getting hurt, he couldn’t watch his didis in pain.

Meanwhile a lady waited around behind a pillar, watching the only car in the parking lot. She knew who the girl inside the car was, she zoomed in as much as she could and posted the picture on her social accounts and asked other NCTzens to spread the word. The fans were dedicated to the mission of finding out the culprit behind the kidnapping stunt and getting their idol back. She quickly rushed back into the building and changed into the guard uniform and sat at her desk, furiously glancing between the car and her cell.

In the dorms, the Dreamies who arrived as Kun left and the rest of the WayV members surrounded the Yangyang and Renjun, who both had separate devices open in front of them. Yangyang had opened an anonymous account and was talking to an NCTzen trying to convince them that he really was Yangyang and to be included in the secret group created by fans. Renjun stalked through all kinds of fan pages and asking each of the members to go through different ones. Ten zoomed in the very blur picture of a car and then a person inside it. “GUYS!” The rest eleven members almost jumped and looked at the elder. Ten passed around the phone, “This is her. She is somewhere with another person. Look there is a shadow besides her.” Yangyang quickly takes the phone and sends the photo to himself. He proceeds to forward it to the fan he was talking to and confronting her.

After an agonising wait of ten minutes, he is quickly added into some group and filled in about the account of another fan. Winwin tries to call Kun whose is unreachable. He calls his manager and asks to talk to his ge.
In the car Kun ends his call with Taeyong and answers Winwin. “Hello?”
“Gege I know you are not allowed to but please text me the address of the location. Please ge, we are not coming there. We…we just need to cross check something. Stay on line.”
Kun glances across at his manager on the front seat, watching him from the rearview mirror and the other cars of the company, still besides theirs stuck in traffic. He carefully continues the conversation in Korean,”Tell him I will be back with Xuxi soon. Plus I will talk to him later okay? Later.” He makes sure to emphasises the last word despite the rush and ends the call. He hands back the phone to the manager and sinks in his seat slightly. Once the traffic moves and he feels the pair of eyes watching him distracted enough, he unlocks his phone and texts him the address.

Winwin narrates it back to the youngest who nods. “They are right. The kidnappers are already there. Someone’s parents are in the police, they are looking into both the people but they can’t get a look at who the second pers-“”
The doorbell rings and all of them jump again, Xiaojun hurries to open the door surprised when he sees 127 members. Taeyong,”Kun said you all were upto something. What’s happening?”
“Trust Kun-ge to know everything of course”, mutters Chenle half annoyed and half fond. The newcomers are let in and updated on the situation with a bit of hesitation.

In the underground parking lot, the female guard got up and started doing her usual rounds. She didn’t dare to make any moves which were out of blue, ignoring the van completely. However once she got enough cover to click the picture of the other person without letting them know she did so. A gasp escaped from her when she saw who the other man was. It was the famous SM rookie who was rumoured to debut in place of Lucas but left the company without any notice and disappeared off the internet.
She sent the picture to the group of trusted fans which apparently included Yangyang. She hurried out of her covered and walked back to her desk as normally as she could.
Yangyang tilted his head when he received the photo,”Hyungs who is Dak-ho?” Several heads turned sharply to him and a few audible gasps were let out. Jungwoo leaned over Mark’s shoulder to look at the picture,”Oh my god…I- he-“ Johnny helped finish,”He was supposed to debut in the Boss unit. But he fucked up and Lucas was chosen instead.” The members take in the face of their ex fellow trainee, looking completely different from two years ago. His face rugged with dark beard, hair grown but tied up neatly, his eyes covered by sunglasses but there was a sinister smirk on his lips.

Chapter Text

Kun ends the call and gets off the car, his trembling hands shutting the door. He glances to the other side where some other executives and people in disguise got off. He feels a shove as their manager pushes him along to the direction of the white van which hopefully had their Xuxi in there.
The said van opens and a figure steps out and walks to the back of the car. It was the same person who his members had warned him about but right now seeing the predator like gaze in familiar eyes still shook Kun to his core. “Fancy seeing you, Kun-ge.”

When Lucas wakes up next, his body was screaming and his head felt like it had nothing up cotton in it. Someone had put some kind of bag on his head and all he could hear was muffled faint voices. But he recognised a name. His Kun-ge was here.

Kun overcomes his shock quickly and glares at Dak-ho. He clearly remembers the day when Lucas had rescued Dak-ho who had almost got filmed having drunken sex with “fan”. Dak-ho was thrown out of the company the very next day and the rage the boy had expressed at Lucas after storming out of the meeting, was incomparable.
Before Kun could say anything, their manager spoke up,”Let Lucas go. We have your money but first hand him over.”
Dak-ho grinned and waved his hands,”Fine fine but back away a bit.”
The small group of people stepped back and the ex-trainee opened the back of the van. Kun’s protective instincts went crazy when he saw his tallest member lying in the van with a bag covering his face. Dak-ho removed the bag and pulled Lucas’ hair. “Wake up Lulu. Someone is here for you.”, he mocked the manager who betrayed them and was sitting in the front of the car, watching through the rearview mirror.

Lucas whimpered at the sudden flood of harsh white light and it got Kun’s heart aching. He looked up to find the other kidnapper who merely grinned and waved when their eyes met. Anger bubbled through Kun but moreover he noticed how she was ready to start the car. Kun tugged at his gege’s wrist.
Dak-ho noticed Kun’s movement but still continued hauling the stupid taller boy up. He turned to the small crowd and held out his hand. “Let’s be fair. On the count of three we switch.” He nods to the suitcase in the hand of one.
“1”

“2”

“3”
Dak-ho pulled both the suitcase and the boy towards the backseat of the car but Lucas was uncooperative despite being sluggish and in pain. Some of the guards who accompanied the rescue team jumped in action on count of three and yanked Dak-ho away. The female guard who so far acted as the informant and had stepped out to watch the scene pulled Luna out of the car and cuffed her hands behind. Kun ran to Lucas and pulled him away to the company cars fast with help of another staff.
Lucas cried in pain and fear but nevertheless let his ge guide him to safety. Kun sat the boy in the car and rushed to the driver’s side as he was told. He drove away fast to the private clinic they had booked earlier.
The rest gathered up the two lunatics and they authorities who surrounded the building came in and took the kidnappers to prison.

Chapter Text

Taeyong walked fast towards the waiting room at the end of the white hallway but time seemed to mov too slow. When he finally opened the door he was faced with a barely held together Kun, who was comforting Lucas's parents. His mother seemed to be more hysterical while the worried father paced the small room and the younger boy rubbed his mother's back. Taeyong bowed, half in greeting and half in apology. He felt responsible as the leader of the whole NCT, and he had grown close to the sweet large baby during the SuperM and NCT U promotions.

He waited for Kun to pull away from the sobbing mother and lead him outside. He sat Kun down and let the younger one take deep breaths. He could see the effects of the whole situation on the other leader, who couldn't stop his tears from leaking while retelling the rescue. After he managed to get little bits out of the boy and then gathered him in his arms, letting his tears stain the fabric of the shirt.

They stayed like that for a bit till a doctor walked out towards them and nodded at the waiting room. Taeyong gently pulled away and walked into the room with Kun behind. Perhaps he should have sat everyone down because the report the doctor gave them shook them to their core. "He has a long list of injuries, our major concerns are the broken ribs, dislocated shoulder and the ankle. It is badly twisted and would take six months to heal. The ribs, thankfully have not punctured the lungs. As soon as Mr. Wong is coherent, Officer Kim will be questioning him and only family members will be allowed till then. However it is on the patient and the effect of anaesthesia that will determine when he wakes up. The rest of the details will be given in my office later."

Kun speaks up from behind him,"S-sir can we see him?" Taeyong doesn't miss out on the way the usually strong and firm voice wavers. "Only blood relatives are allowed, I will send the nurses to lead them there." Taeyong wants to protest but he is stopped by the small voice of acceptance from Kun.
The doctor leaves, Taeyong looks at Kun when the other boy crosses the room to hug the mother again, whispering comforting words although his heart must be aching and weeping as well.

Not long after the family is taken away while the band members are left behind. They both take the opportunity to inform the other members who are still cooped up together at the WayV dorm.

At the dorm, the dialogues of some K-drama filled the room with almost each younger member cuddling their emotional support hyung as they call it, when Johnny's phone rings. As the 127 leader fills the band up on the situation, Yangyang hides his face in Ten's chest, who has his eyes shut and a trembling hand running through the younger's hair. Hendery and Xiaojun shift closer to Sicheng engulfing him in a hug when they see him biting his lip and staring hard into the ground. After the call ends, Mark lets go of Hyuck's and Johnny's hands which he was squeezing tightly and gets up to call his SuperM hyungs who had spammed his phone for updates. The dorm falls silent again when the call ends and Jaehyun uses his free hand, the one not being hogged by Jaemin to play the show again. He turns up the volume so it plays over the loud and worried thoughts of the 20 members.

When Kun looks up at the sound of the door opening, his heart drops at sight. Xuxi's mother was crying harder while his brother tried his best to calm her down. Kun gets up from his spot and kneels down in front of her. He holds her hand and he is reminded of his own mother, god how much he wished she was here so he could just collapse in her arms and cry. He looks up at the teary eyes and it's as if he was looking into Xuxi's. He blinks back the tears and speaks up in broken Thai his boyfriends had taught him,"He will be okay.." Kun really wishes it sounded more like a statement than a question. He strokes the back of the soft hands and gives what he doubts is a hopeful smile.

Chapter Text

It took almost 20 hours till the other members could see Xuxi. Kun had tried to hold them off for the first 10 hours but after they were informed that their baby was awake it was nearly impossible to stop them. Taeyong still allowed only the WeishenV members to wait with their leader while the cops and other doctors questioned Xuxi.

When they had been finally allowed to enter the recovery room, their breath was caught in their chest. The sight of their ever cheerful boyfriend, in bandages and cast boring a hole into the ceiling broke all six hearts. Only if they knew what was to come next.
Kun placed a hand on Dejun's and Ten's back and led them further into the room. Xuxi, who was sitting up in the adjusted bed, clenched and unclenched his fists while he refused to meet their eyes. Kun watched Hendery move closer, about to take one of the larger hands when Xuxi pulled it away. Ten approached next, his hands stiffly by his side, whispering delicately, "Xuxi, baby we are here. Can you look at me at least?"
Kun's heart dropped when he refused to look away from the spot beyond the open window. Kun shifted his hand from Ten's back to his shoulder in silent support, "How are you, baobei?" They get an unexpected answer, "Leave. All of you. Leave."
All six were left stunned at the shocked tone of the taller. Kun could see Yangyang biting his lip from the corner of his eye. He blinked and took a step forward,"Xuxi-". He met Mrs. Wong's eyes, who gently shook her head and Kun received the message clear. He turned back despite his heart aching and nudged the rest of his still shocked boyfriends out of the room.

Once they all had stepped out, all of them protested and tried to walk back in. Kun struggled to keep them out and used his leader tone, the one which meant finality, the one he hated to use on his lovers, "Guys stop it! STOP! He must be tired. He needs rest and his family right now, okay? We will come back to see him. I promise." He looked into the hurt, desperate pleading eyes of younger ones. "Please, guys."
Ten met his eyes and turned to the kids, "Kunnie is right babies. He must be exhausted after all the questions. We will see him tomorrow yeah?" He leads the defeated younger ones back to outside, Kun following, rubbing the slumped shoulders.

In the recovery room, Lucas sobbed into his mother's embraced. Lucas couldn't bear the stares of his boyfriends on his body. It felt intruding and full of hatred as if they wondered why he had even returned. He knew they were disappointed. What use could Lucas be of now anyways? He was tied to the bed for next six months. He would bring nothing to them. Not their band. Nor their relationship.
He knew he couldn't possibly be enough for his six talented beautiful lovers. He was just a doll, handsome and tall. What more could he even be?

Chapter Text

One month passed and Xuxi still refused to see them. He had chosen to stay with his parents at the accommodation SM provided them. It wasn't home but being with his family made a huge difference. He woke up to the sound of his brother playing games or listening to music too loudly. Then spent the day under his mother's watchful eye and ended the night with a round of cards with everyone.

SuperM and NCT members visited one by one for short visits between their schedules and Lucas appreciated them. His boyfriends had tried too, but he refused to let them enter the room and if they did then avoided their gazes and words. It hurt Lucas, cause he missed their warmth, their hugs, their secret gestures and their small little things.
But Lucas kept his guard up constantly. Even when others visited he would make them laugh and he would talk about them, avoiding questions directed to him or keeping the replies to one or two words.

Soon even the members who visited appealed to Lucas, asked him to let the members of Chinese unit in. They tried to prod and figure Lucas out just like they had back in the basement. Lucas had learnt his lesson now, the moment the questions took even a slight turn towards evasive he shut them out, asked the members to leave. He didn't miss the disappointed, frustrated and pitying looks but he knew he deserved them.

The scene outside Lucas' window changed as snow enveloped the earth like a cold icy hug. People mistook Lucas as a summer person but Lucas had never experienced proper winter until he came to Seoul. It never snowed where he lived, in Hong Kong so during his first year in Korea he was genuinely waiting for winter like a little kid waiting for Santa.
Lucas had stuck close to the Chinese members of SM like Kun-ge and Sicheng-ge. It was almost everyone's first year away from home so when Lucas watched the first snow touch the ground he felt homesickness strike him. He wished he could share it with his family back home. He could call them but he was tired of the constant questions revolving his training and his debut. Kun-ge being the parental figure even back then had noticed the boy's quieter moods and made him Thai food moving Lucas to tears.
Lucas shared his first white Christmas with them too and had received earrings and rings as a gift from his elder dorm mates. Lucas vividly remembers how he had embarrassingly shrieked and hugged the other two, almost knocking the breath out of Kun since he was squashed between the two taller boys. Lucas then in turn he had splurged a little more next year during Kun-ge and Sicheng-ge's birthdays, treating them to their favourite meals. Since then Lucas had come to love winters.

Now Lucas simply sighed as he tore his gaze away from the window. His eyes fell on the ring lying with other objects that his parents had got from the dorm for him. He was happy to have familiar belongings but it was this particular ring that he valued the most. He rubbed his index on the slight engravings on the inside of the ring, seven symbols. One for each of them.
They had chosen this as a gift for each other last winter, a way to flaunt their relationship without giving it away, their relationship which he cherished and loved more than he had admit currently. He wore it and the ring felt heavier than he remembered.

His gaze moved to the other objects, his hoodies and tees. He decided to change into one of them and instantly smelt Yangyang's perfume lingering. The youngest was always fond of stealing all of their hoodies and no one stopped him. He missed him and fooling around with him and Guangheng. Sweet sweet Guangheng, always up for gaming sessions and snacks to cure bad days.

He shook his head to gather himself and scrolled through other stuff. He knew his boyfriends had helped pack his things, he had not missed the lunch box Kun-ge sent with Ten-ge's official stickers and small notes with probably more cute drawings by the only artist of the group. He simply ignored it, keeping it aside with the flowers sent by none other than the second male vocalist.

He couldn't handle the onslaught of memories, no today wasn't the day. Lucas cleared up his bed and put all of the things away adding to the mess of things on his bedroom floor. Even though Lucas wanted to tear off the hoodie too, he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to take it off so he allowed himself to indulge a little.

He realised the effort of keeping everything away was futile as his six boyfriends laced through his thoughts in the dark of the night and in his dreams and even in his morning when he saw the flowers Dejun gifted in a vase and the watch Sicheng-ge gifted him last birthday laying besides his bed.

Chapter Text

Lucas had no clue where he was. Everything was pitch dark and he felt as if he was floating. He blinked a few times, squinting through the mental fog. He registered the clicking of heels against the floor and the numbness in his arms and the weight around his ankles. He moved his limbs only to find out that his wrists were tied up and he was hanging from some metal chains. His feet brushed against cold metal weights.

Suddenly nails scratched along his cheek and chest. He looked into the almond shaped eyes of his kidnapper. The manager who betrayed their trust. He growled out, forgetting his position currently and was reminded instantly by the kick on his back. It made Lucas feel breathless and it was only the start.

Touches and hits rained down on him alike. Blunt impact of objects like bat, hands and things he couldn't place contrasted to the caresses and tracing fingertips touching areas which made him almost wish for the hits. It continued for long enough to Lucas feel his muscles scream in protest, to feel the sweat mixed with blood drip down his body and feel like puking his guts out, only if he had anything other than spit to let out.

It finally stopped, Lucas was fighting back the urge to pass out again when the voices started to whisper. Two voices, one he placed as the manager's. The other voice was familiar, sent a shiver down his spine. It was low and calm in contrast to the manager's high pitched and almost excited one. But they both whispered the same thing, how he was such a waste of space, nothing but a face for his company to flaunt. His absence didn't shake anyone. It didn't bother anyone. Not his company. Not his members. Definitely not his boyfriends.

Lucas shook his head, fighting against the voices. Remembering his boyfriends soothing singing, their touch when they all huddled together but his imagination was interrupted by a slap. The voices were back. They were glad he was gone. He was only a burden. It's right. They are happy. They never needed him, after all he was only a burden. Dragging them down.
Lucas desperately tried to hold onto the memories of his lovers but hit after hit pulled him away, snapping him to the reality over and over again. Then it stopped for a good minute. He saw those almond eyes again, moving closer and closer until it got too close and he finally woke up from his nightmare.

The first thing he saw was the snow, the first sound heard was firecrackers. New Year. Kun-ge's birthday. He rubbed a hand down his face, wiping away the tears hastily. He reached out to drink water, hands stilling over the dried flowers by Dejun. He wondered if they resembled their relationship now. Or rather his relationship with them.
He took the glass behind the vase and turned the other way to the wall. He drank the water slowly as usual. Nightmares were a regular occurrence since he returned. So had the habit of being unable to fall asleep after.
Lucas sat and stared at the wall with hollow eyes for the remainder of the night.

Chapter Text

Days simply passed at the WayV dorm. There was an emptiness in the normally chaotic household ever since they returned from the hospital that night. The emptiness extended to their hearts. Kun could see how each heart hurt each time something related to their tallest boyfriend was mentioned and conversations turned into silence, heads filled with million questions. Kun himself wondered what went wrong, why Xuxi kept them out physically and mentally, refused to meet their gaze and asked them to leave each time.
They gave the boy two days to rest and catch up with his family before returning to the hospital again, only to be stopped outside by his younger brother who informed them to not visit till Xuxi says so. No one could stomach that well, not even Kun. He failed to stop Sicheng and Ten who stormed into room and asked for answers from their injured boyfriend. Xuxi simply kept his back to them, the only words they heard from him were to ask them to leave. Yangyang steed forward and hugged the tallest, joined by Hendery. He sobbed into the stiff back,"We love you Lucas-ge, please. Please don't ask us to leave."
Kun couldn't help but only watch as the boy shrugged the kids off and got up with the help of his father. "I don't love you guys. Leave me alone." Looking back Kun thinks he is overthinking it but he heard hurt and hesitancy in his eyes despite the firm tone. The rest six were left in the room, shocked and hurt as Xuxi was wheeled out of the room. Ever since then the dorm was quiet, each left to their own devices and coping methods.

For the first month they kept visiting Xuxi only to be shut out. They paired up with friends from other units who picked up on the tension fast enough and tried to facilitate conversations too only to no avail. The seven had decided not to disclose their relationship to anyone except the rest of Chinese line and Taeyong but after watching the tension, the desperate attempts of the rest of the WayV members to talk to Lucas they quickly understood that they were left out of some secret.
They had cried, begged and even shouted at Xuxi's door to let them in and were left with only endless questions. His family watched them with pitied stares, offering consoling hugs and pats each time. His mom called them in nights after his doctors appointments, kept them updated about his progress and therapy. Her regular updates made them wish and cry for an opportunity to be there for the boy, to help him heal from whatever he suffered with his captivators, to remind and show him of how much they loved him. They sent small packages of things every month, every member making his own additions like flowers and letters by Dejun, chocolates by Yangyang, small DIYs made by Ten and Hendery, Kun's food and Xuxi's favourite blanket and accessories by Sicheng.

Soon two more months passed and nothing between them changed. They went back to their regular schedules and though the number of visits had declined the pain remained constant. The hole in their hearts grew.
It was hard to continue, Kun almost always made Xuxi's favourite without realising. He sort to sending small lunch boxes with the dream members and spending rest of the hours in the producing studio. Ten coped by spending too many hours in the practice rooms until the others dragged him out or back home.
Sicheng slept on the couch after the first week, he couldn't sleep in their shared room and when he did he almost always ended up in Ten or Kun's beds after having a breakdown. Hendery spent all of the free time, gaming or trying to keep himself busy with helping Kun. Yangyang was spotted wearing Xuxi's hoodies constantly and Dejun over babied Bella as if trying to make up for the absence of her other dad.

Winter passed and they barely realised it, New Year was just another day at home. Half of them dispersed off to the company to work. The rest went out, anything to get away from the absence of the cheerful boisterous laughter. January moved even slower and the distance became intolerable. All of them had broken down out of frustration.

One day another conversation had died down when Xuxi was mentioned, however this time Dejun spoke up,"What do you think went wrong?"
Ten sighed, sinking further into the couch while Sicheng answered almost bitter. "If we knew Junnie he would be with us or we would be there, trying to make it right."
Kun looked up when he heard footsteps, Yangyang had retreated to his room. He looked back down and kept running his fingers through the lost in thoughts Hendery's hair.
The only sound in their house was rustling coming from the three person room. Yangyang walked out dressed in another too big for him hoodie and jeans. "If anyone wants to join, you are welcome. I am going to talk to Gege. Get him to listen I don't care what he has to say." Yangyang didn't had to clarify who he was talking about, all of them knew at this point. There was only one person all of them wished they could talk properly too. The other four seemed a little wary of the determination of the youngest but still got up. Kun announced he will drive at the same time as Sicheng as they made way to their cars. A little part of they hearts hoped, well prayed that this time would be different.

Chapter Text

"Lucas, I understand your feelings and they are very much valid. You are allowed to feel that way. But have you asked them if they think that way? What you actually mean to them instead of believing what someone else told you they think of you?" 

Xuxi blinks again. He is back in the small balcony of their rented apartment instead of the therapist's office. It's been a while since either of them has tried to visit him, so it just proves it, doesn't it?
 
"You are staring off again, lek.*" Xuxi turns to see his mother standing behind. He sighs, looking down into the tea cup. Xuxi missed Kun ge's and Ten ge's tea nights. 
The teacup is taken away by gentle, soft fingers and another hand wraps around his arm. "Come on, don't stay up late. Off to bed." Xuxi groans but let's himself be pulled to his bedroom. 
He is pushed into the bathroom where he gets ready for the bed and does slow stretches as directed by his physiotherapist. 

He is surprised to see his mom still waiting when he comes out. She looks up upon noticing him and pats the bed. He lays down and lets her put his head into her lap. It feels nice. It feels like he is back in Hong Kong in the four blue walls of his bedroom. 
Fingers plays with his hair gently pulling a sigh out of him, his eyes heavy. "Xuxi, those boys love you." He wonders what exactly his mother means. 
 
He must have stiffened at their mention because the very next moment he feels hands on his shoulders, massaging them with tender touches. "Don't ask how. I know it. I am your mother. It's okay, love takes many shapes and if this is the one that fits you, I can't snatch it away." 

He chuckles none the less. Of course, mothers know the best. He yelps softly when a fingers pinch his cheek. "I know they love you, Huang Xuxi." 
He sighs, somewhere he knows they love him. He loves them back. "I know you are scared, baobei. But so are they. They are scared of losing you, of hurting you and they miss you, just like you miss them, Xuxi."

He turns on his stomach and hugs his mother's waist, hiding his tears in her stomach. Her hand stays in his hair, other running on his back. "They are waiting for you Xuxi, they said they always will. Your Appa, me, we always worried. If you are eating well, if the company is treating you well, if you will find your place within the band."
He hugs her tighter as she continues,"Then they announces your debut and we couldn't be prouder. But we never stopped worrying, about our sunshine and some part of us will never stop worrying about you and your brother."  

"We watched your debut stage, we watched the series you filmed and finally we met WeishenV in Seoul. And, baobei, for the first time I felt that maybe we can worry a little less. When we saw the lunch Kun made for us, when we saw you playing around freely with your three monkey didis, when Ten coddled you like even I haven't and Sicheng made every effort to make us comfortable; I knew I could trust these six boys with my son."  

Xuxi looks up at his mom, meeting gazes with her something bloomed in his chest, filled with acceptance, warmth and love that he never imagined he would get. He had never given his family any reason for why he was suddenly pushing his bandmates away. None of them had yet come out to their parents, at loss so as to how would they even explain their love to them and scared of getting pushed away. 
He couldn't reply, not in words anyways so he hugs her as tight as possible, tears now flowing freely. 
"I...I love you, mama."
Lips press against his hand which is intertwined with his mother's. "I know, baobei. Now let them in. They are worried about you, I can see it in their eyes, in every bag they send for you. Let them in, Xuxi. It will be fine, it will work out well." 

Xuxi simply nods and lets the fingers in his hair and the voice of his childhood lull him to sleep. 

Chapter Text

Lucas chuckles at how his brother is desperately trying to drag him to their room 'to play games' and his mother was cooped in the kitchen, trying to decorate the small space. Despite all the years away from home, some things never change. 
It was almost a tradition at home to surprise each other with cake at dot twelve in the night during birthdays. It was almost a competition, how could be the most successful in surprising them. None of them ever won because they were used to reading each other. 
Xuxi was sure his father was gone to get the cake with the awkward exit and lame excuse he had thrown on his way out. None the less it made Lucas happy, like he was back in Hong Kong. 

As Xuxi predicted, his parents dragged him out at twelve and his father arrived with a huge strawberry cake. Xuxi couldn't help but sport the largest smile as he waited for his family to finish singing the very out of tune mandarin happy birthday song. For a tiny moment, Xuxi was transported back to their dorm kitchen after their debut. The three monkeys, as his mother called them, jumping on the bed while a relatively calm Kun, Ten and a sleepy Sichengie all sang the same mandarin song. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by yells of his brother telling him to blow the candles and Xuxi pretends to wish something with his eyes closed. He wishes he had the strength and the courage to face his boyfriends, he misses them too much, even now at this given moment when he is so happy. 
God must have been really spying on him because the moment he opens his eyes he sees six of his boyfriends at the door. 

Xuxi feels like everything froze, eyes locked with six pairs that he desperately wanted to see but also avoid. He hears someone clear their throat, his mother welcomes them in and that's when Kun looks away, ducking his head shyly. "Uh..the door was open so we walked in, sorry. If- we interrupted you guys, we can wait outsi-"
He straightens up, suddenly invested in the icing design on the pink cake. "Nonsense, just stay. I am glad you guys came, you all would probably be better at singing the song than us. And Xuxi won't mind, right?" 
He is prompted to look up and he does, still avoiding their gaze, and nods. The kitchen feels more cramped but they fit in and the cake is cut without any more disturbances. Xuxi focuses on his family's presence, ignores the rest. Tries to only think of his mother's hands when she cups his face to feed him cake and press kisses on it. His father's hand on his back and his brother's annoying habit of smearing cake everywhere. 
Yet the tension was ever present, thick enough to be cut with the plastic cake knife and frankly, he can't take it. 

He excuses himself the moment his brother is done with the face painting, rushing into the bathroom to wash it all of. The moment he looks at himself, water dripping down his face, he is back into the basement. He is back to being hung by his wrists, slurs and hits being thrown at him. 
A knock at the door and a soft whisper sends him spiralling down into his memories. "Lulu, come out please." 
"They will never love useless bag of shit like you."
"Why do they even need you? They are doing perfectly fine. No one even misses you, Lulu." 
"They moved on within a few days, bet they didn't even try to look for you. Who would? After you are worth nothing, just a dumb pretty face. There are so many others, so much better than you." 

The bathroom walls are closing in and Xuxi just wants to run, so that's what he does. He throws the door open and runs out of the house with his sandals on. He runs, runs and runs. 

Xuxi reaches the park, it's the one 15 minutes from their rented apartment and has become his favourite place in past months. He is tired, it's been a while since he exerted himself. He bends over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. 
He considers running again despite the ache in his chest when he hears multiple footsteps and familiar voices calling his name. But this time he feels stuck, his vision is bleary and his head is light. He feels hands gently tug him and make him sit on a bench and as much as he wishes to fight back, he can't. He is tired of running. 

After one blurred look at the faces in front of him and several blinks to clear the fog, he sees similar exhaustion in the eyes of his boyfriends, faces marked by eyeballs and hesitation. He sees Sicheng in front of him, hands on his knees.  He feels Ten's hand in his hair, weaving through them just like when they missed their other boyfriends during the sleepless nights of the SuperM tour. 
Hendery's whispers in his ear are soft and mellow, in his mother tongue which he greatly appreciates. 
He turns when he hears running footfalls, Yangyang and Dejun coming to them with a plastic bag which Kun takes and offers Xuxi water. 
It is only when he sips the water, does he realise how parched he was. How thirsty he was for their love. It's like he was pulled back from the memories, like those time travel movies. 
"I am sorry. I...I missed you, guys." 

He is suddenly ambushed from one side by Dejun who whispers an almost inaudible 'miss you too, you, silly'. He finds himself leaning his head on the other's. He hesitantly meets other's eyes, trying to find any sort of disgust, hate but only finding love and softness. He figures there is much more to talk about, maybe Kun Ge will make them sit in their usual circle. It will be a long conversation but as long as he finds this same love in these same eyes, Xuxi thinks he might hold on, even if his mind tells him to push and run. 
And he is not let down. The walk home, not the rented apartment his mom complains about; home, their dorm, messy and loud but home. Hands are held, bodies meshed against each other. Words are exchanged in the dead of the night, tears are shed and they end up staying up all night. By the time the sunrises, Xuxi is between his boyfriends, cuddled on their huge couch. None of them can sleep but the quiet is too serene to be disturbed. Its peaceful and calm, all of them lost in their thought. 

Four months after he got kidnapped and got out of the hellhole, four months since he was too close to the next life. He did a lot of recovery, almost everyday consisted of a visit to one of the healers. But it is now that Xuxi feels lighter, he is vulnerable in the safest, warmest arms. Xuxi knows he is nowhere close to going back to normal, but he feels a hundred steps closer.