Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

After the named detention happened mess thing finally ended, Changmin didn't even rush to get out of school. Juyeon's soccer practice probably just ended and he's heading up to that old basement place back of the school with the other boys. Changmin was so hesitant about going there and watch him singing. It was a thing they used to do a lot when they started dating and Changmin actually felt like Juyeon got some interest of him. Now all those "I love you Changie"s were just casual words to him while Changmin's heart still flutters to hear it. Foolish stupid piece of smelly garbage, Changmin thought. But he wasn't even sure if that was for him for still loving that boy or for that boy who's treating Changmin like that.

Maybe he was just overthinking about it? Every relationship has its upside downs and this is one of them. Isn't it?

Changmin didn't know what to do. He was confused, he was tired, but he was still liking him somehow. And he hated being like that.

While fighting with his own inner voice, he already found himself in the bathroom of school that's now really quiet and lonely. To get ready for seeing his boyfriend and look pretty to him. Well, he was just wasting his time debating with this thoughts and creating a war scene inside his head because his feelings already had all the stupid answers. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, trying so hard to hold his tears. He should've look pretty. Not because Juyeon's gonna watch him. It's because he's Ji Changmin. The only person in this fucking school who's not a soccer player or a cheerleader, but yet everyone knows his name. That cute boy, perfect grades, everyone loves, plays the violin, from a rich family. He's Ji Changmin. Not that band boy's desperate boyfriend.

Then he realized he was just about to break his favorite lip balm. When did he got that out of his backpack? He was dumbfounded but it didn't took him a long while to get his ass back together. Maybe it should, though. Maybe he's going there after all the shit happened today but at least he shouldn't be the first one arrived there and look like he was just a puppet for Juyeon.

Well, probably no one thinks like that. But still.

He took of his favorite beret and fixed his newly dyed blond hair and applied his peach coloured lip balm. Smelled too good to be a lip balm. That should be edible.

Then he took of his cardigan and just wore his black vintage jacket that he just bought with his white shirt. Lastly he put on a shiny chain necklace and voila! Picture Changmin perfect.

He got one final gaze of himself in the mirror and got out the bathroom finally. Wow, nobody's there and it was almost dark. If Changmin was a dramatic person he would thought the school looked like a horror movie set. But thankfully he definitely wasn't.

Nothing could be more boring than this place. They were playing some bassy loud music and that wasn't getting to Changmin. Like at all. His boyfriend was talking, laughing, singing to the little crowd, having fun with everyone but him. He looked like someone abandoned him there and never come back. It was exactly what was happening right now, actually.

The weather was the exact opposite for Juyeon. He was singing and having fun with the fact that he got attention of every single person in the room. He probably never noticed that Changmin arrived just now. When everything was about to get over. Changmin already knew the answer if he would say that. "Baby, you know. Halloween is near and everyone is waiting for our performance. You won't want me to mess this up, right?"

What mess? Which mess? You're Lee Juyeon, you never mess things up.

Changmin got scared when he saw Haknyeon sitting next to him suddenly. Since when he was there? Also why wasn't he with Juyeon playing his bass?

"Crazy day?"

Changmin rolled his eyes drastically. "Leave me alone Hak. I'm really not in the mood right now."

Haknyeon was a good friend at times but he was usually pretty annoying. Well, at least for Changmin.

Haknyeon giggled after this answer. "Okay okay. Was just wondering why you're sitting here. Did you guys have something up between?"

Changmin chose the silence for this time. That got Hakyeon shrug his shoulders. "Whoa. Juyeon really don't talk about anything to me anymore."

Blond one looked down while answering. "No, we didn't. It's just-"

Haknyeon suddenly stood up when he saw his bandmates was calling him over there, not letting Changmin finish his sentence. "Whoops. Gotta go now. Take this."

He threw a can of lemonade at Changmin and shouted before getting away. "Smile a little! This isn't the Changmin I know!"

This isn't the Changmin I know either, Changmin thought before catching the lemonade can. But he still couldn't help but really smile to that.

Then he opened up the can and drank the half of the lemonade in one sip. Haknyeon gave him a thumbs up and smiled from far away after seeing him drinking it. They weren't even close friends but he did more in 2 minutes than all Juyeon did today. What should Changmin call that? Tragic?

After the last song, Juyeon finally condescended to come near his boyfriend. At this point Changmin wondered if he really saw him or Haknyeon told him that he was there. Changmin patted his shoulder and talked in a low voice. "You did good. Really."

Juyeon smiled and gave him a short kiss. "Thank you baby."

"I said I play it better when you're here, right? See?"

Juyeon said that in a full smile, so full that Changmin was almost going to believe that it was said wholeheartedly. But also after that short kiss, he needed more. He hated feeling like that but probably one good kiss from him would erase all those thoughts inside his head at once.

And he did it. He felt insant regret after that but he did it. He quickly got on his tiptoes, pulled the tall one closer, held his collar, closed his eyes and kissed him in front of everyone, almost like wanting a revenge. Why was he doing that? Why was he kissing the person that doesn't even see how sad he looks when even some casual friend of him notices it? Juyeon should be the one kissing him, trying to cheer him up, asking what's wrong,bbut why couldn't he stop kissing those lips right now? He got his eyes wide shut while doing that. He couldn't resist feeling that good. That long awaited good feeling. It felt weirdly wrong but Changmin couldn't help himself. Why was he feeling wrong kissing his boyfriend? It was the most right thing to do for Changmin just a week ago. Why?

And it didn't took too long for Juyeon to have give a response for that too. He grabbed his boyfriend's waist and let him keep kissing him in that crowd. As soon as their kiss started to feel too intense for Changmin to keep doing it in public, he slowly got their lips seperated without actually getting away from his face and opening his eyes. "Juyeon, I-"

Juyeon didn't even let him for his boyfriend to think and panic about what he was just going to say suddenly. He asked while giggling, "Why was that? Did i deserved it for playing great today?"

Yeah, anything you s-

"Let's go get some pizza. I'm dying from hunger." Juyeon held his boyfriend's hand to bring him with him.

Changmin wanted to kick something in that moment.

Chapter Text

Changmin tried so hard to not to think about that hugely giantly ridiculous last day when he woke up. Of course nothing worked and he came to school with being so ready for a day that's going to be ruined by Lee Juyeon.

He also tried so hard to hide that he only got 3 hours of sleep last night and look perfect as always.

When he sleepily opened his locker to get his books, he was almost going to hit his head because of the notification sound his phone made. "Ouch!"

Apparently he was added to a new group chat with bunch of people. He was about to delete it without reading the messages until he saw there was only one message, and it was from that new girl.

Fate or a mistake? Let's learn. Meet me at  Maru's after school.

Changmin couldn't help but burst out a laugh. At Maru's? Starstruck was going to play here tonight. There was no way Changmin going to there to meet with that losers. It just... wasn't possible.

When he got his books after locking up his phone and his locker, he was about to bump his head one more time. His head was going to break or something? Today's not a good day to die, he thought. He wanted to die happily.

"Why are you standing there?"

Changmin almost screamed in fear when he noticed Sunwoo standing right behind his locker door and waiting. Sunwoo laughed before answering.

"Are you in the groupchat too?"

Changmin answered while putting his book to his backpack. "Yeah."

Sunwoo smacked his thick lips together. "I think we should give it a try. It won't hurt anybody." Changmin whispered with flashing his eyes to Sunwoo. "Are you crazy? I won't compete with my boyfriend's band. Forget that."

He frowned while replying. "Come on. You aren't his puppet or something, he can't tell you what to do."

Changmin sighed. Well, looks like someone thinks like that. "Of course I am not! I can't do it because I play the violin, not a fucking bass."

"Also I am-"

Changmin was too annoyed to notice Sunwoo was giving signs about his boyfriend is coming towards them.

Juyeon stood next to his boyfriend and smiled at him and Sunwoo. "Also you're what, baby?"

Changmin cleared his throat and looked at Sunwoo. "Also I am going to watch my boyfriend's stage after school. I can't help you with that."

Sunwoo raised an eyebrow and left without saying nothing more to both. He really couldn't stand any single person in that soccer team since his elder brother got through a shit ton of things because of it. He hated it too much that almost nobody knew that he is Kim Sunjae's little brother. One of the best players of Yongsung High's of all time. That was a long story to talk about, and Sunwoo surely didn't want to tell a single word from that story.

Changmin learnt that he was so heated up for anyone in the soccer team by the fact that he started to act like he didn't know Changmin for years since Changmin and Juyeon started dating at the beginning of the semester. What could be that deep? I should hang out more with Haknyeon, he thought. The girls he hangs out with are like the mint of all the gossip in the school.

Juyeon moved aside from Changmin and got in front of him, leaned with one of his wide shoulders at Changmin's locker and stared at his boyfriend like waiting for an explanation that he knew Changmin would do.
But he didn't. He didn't and walked passing by him with just a light gaze and a half smile. Juyeon talked before blond one got away. "Baby?"

Changmin stopped to answer but didn't face to Juyeon while doing that. "What? I'm running late to Mrs. Choi's class."

Juyeon held his boyfriend's wrist lightly and made him turn towards. "What were you talking about? With that weirdo?"

Changmin sighed and murmured. "Nothing. He was with me at the detention yesterday."

"And?" And? Changmin would never say anything about what happened there to him. Look, this new girl and my childhood friend wants to form a band with me and some other people and compete with you on the Rising Star. Amazing, right? He cleared his throat before answering.

"He wanted me to help with his chem project. And I said no. That's all."

Changmin just got two steps away, replied in all sarcasms he got. "If the investigation is over now sir, can I get to-"

Juyeon let his boyfriend go but answered his half question otherwise. "No."

"Changmin, what's happening? Why are you acting like that?"

"Acting like what?" Changmin smacked his lips together.

"Like something's wrong. Like... I don't know, okay? You acted like that all day long then... Then kissed me in front of everyone. I don't understand Changmin."

Juyeon stopped talking for a while and got closer to blond one. "Not that I'm complaining though." He smiled after that, while Changmin was only staring at his eyes. It was hard for him but he knew if he was going to look at his face he would want to kiss him like that again. He was looking unreal. If Changmin was to look at his face he would totally forget how disappointed he feels.

"But like, really, what's wrong? Is it because you got detention because of me yesterday?"

Then Mrs. Choi came and yelled at them, absurdly being a savior for Changmin in that moment. Although she would never know that. "Boys, to your class. Now."

Juyeon looked at his boyfriend for one last time before heading up to class. "See you after school then?"

Changmin nodded and walked to class before him.

After school, Changmin wasn't that constant about meeting with Sejin and the boys. Like, first of all, the Juyeon thing was kinda a lie. They were going to play at 7 pm, which means there's a 3 hours gap between after school and their stage. The second things is, that Sejin girl looked really cool and Changmin wanted to befriend her. And third...

There wasn't a third one. Okay, seemed like there isn't many reasonable reasons for him to go there, if that made sense. Were they heavier than the fact that they're planning to compete over Changmin's boyfriend and his friend's team? Probably never. But he wasn't even sure that they could make it and get along with each other until Rising Star.

If they were going to fail, he wouldn't only lose Juyeon but also he was going to seem hanging out with those losers. Was this risk worth to just to take a little revenge from Juyeon?

"Hey!"

When Changmin turned his back, he saw Sunwoo and Sejin calling for him excitedly. Behind the lockers. Whispering.

"Are you coming?"

Changmin asked in a confused with a crisp of annoyed voice, whispering too. At least he wished he sounded like that, only if he didn't whisper. He didn't know why he did it though. Most stupid bandwagon effect ever. "Why the fuck you guys are acting like you're on Agent Salt since the morning?"

Sunwoo rolled his eyes. "Guess why, dumbass?"

Yeah, of course. Juyeon.
Even this new girl knew that Juyeon would go nuts if he saw his boyfriend is hanging with people who aren't from his band or soccer team. Or the cheerleaders.

And suddenly, that was the last straw for Changmin. He didn't care about how unsure he was. He didn't feel like he needs to secure and keep something that shouldn't be in the need of having effort in terms of keeping it. He didn't know how it was or how he said that, but it happened. The happening that flipped the tables upside down, if not turned. He decided.

"You know what? Fuck it."

"I'm coming."

Chapter Text

"So what now?"

Changmin leaned back on his seat, looking at Sunwoo and Sejin after all of them ordered just a lemonade. Nobody else came yet. Not Kevin. Not Jacob.

Again, why in the world Changmin was there? This idea was getting even more and more stupid each second as he sits on this big, circle table. The furthest table from the stage that they could find.

Sunwoo sighed and answered. "They'll come."

"I'm sure they will."

"Jacob seemed willing. I'm sure he'd convince Kevin too."

Sejin didn't seem like she had the high hopes that Sunwoo had either. Why was he so cheerful for? Like they had any chance. Even if they'll succeed, not just Juyeon but Haknyeon, Eric and Sangyeon were all Mr. Kang's favorites. If they won't win, he'd make them win. He won't let those outcasts take that prize. They had to study and get accepted to a good college anyways. But those soccer players was so busy with their sports career as they should - just to keep the reputation of Yongsung's and their title of the most succesful high school in sports of Korea. So they can't study. But they both had to be a fantastic student and a super skilled athelete. Double standarts and it was too high. Too high to make it possible. So they were better use some "favor" from their principal. The last time it was possible it lead to a disaster that only Sunwoo knew.

Changmin was bored of waiting already. It was almost half a hour, oh god! He took a sip from his lemonade before talking. "Look, guys if we're just going to sit and pray for the others to come, then good luck for you with this bullshit. I have violin lessons a hour later and I gotta get going."

Kevin and Jacob appeared in the middle of their arguing. And immediately saw Changmins' table and took a sit too. Kevin talked before anyone got to say anything. "Just how long since you guys are waiting for us?"

Sejin shrugged her left shoulder and faced to Kevin, looking at the clock on the stone wall, then Changmin. "Enough for this cute boy to curse and scold us."

Everyone except that cute boy laughed at that. He raised his voice. "Hey!"

"Of course I do curse! Come on Sunwoo, at least you know me!" He didn't know why he was this annoyed too - just like the others. He solely didn't like the idea of being seen with them from the start and maybe it showed.

Kevin tried to cut his laughter to talk, not being really successful though. "Calm down, okay? We're sorry."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah."
Changmin frowned and kept drinking his lemonade as Jacob talked to Sejin. "So? What's with that fate?"

Kevin made a fake cough and added in a low voice. "Or mistake."

Jacob lightly hit his shoulder in response to that and whispered to his side. "Kevin! We talked about it."

Kevin wearily nodded. "Okay okay."

Sejin cleared her throat and looked each of the boys in the eye. "I think we MUST do it. Aren't you guys bored of Starstruck winning Rising Star for 3 straight years? You're the one seeing that, not me."

Changmin was playing with his already finished lemonade's straw while listening. Like, what do you mean? They may be privileged but they are for a reason. They still won because they were good after all. Or there wasn't anything better. Changmin was almost getting lost on his thoughts once again but Sejin's unreasonably excited - and that was kinda making her voice high pitched - voice was what stopped him doing so.

"We got along so well, didn't we?"

Nobody had a response for that, not even Sunwoo. And Changmin tried so hard to not to laugh. This was probably the most awkward moment he ever witnessed in his life.

Sejin tried to talk with a more cheering voice after seeing that. "Didn't we?"

Kevin looked at her with an expressionless face. "Is this what forming a band takes? Getting along?"

She agreed to that. "I think, most definitely, yeah."

"Come on guys! We're like..."

Sejin paused for a minute to think. She didn't really have an idea about what is she saying either. The only thing she knew is how badly she's setted up for this idea. It was crazy!

"We're like, I don't know, teenager version of Paramore!"

Teenager version of Paramore? This was hilarious but at the same time cool to hear, Changmin's gotta admit.

Kevin giggled annoyingly. Was he always like that? "Okay, musical genius. Do we have another song to play?"

Sejin nodded. "Yeah we do! I have plenty of songs that I wrote. I'm sure one of them will be good for us to attend to Rising Star."

Jacob and Sunwoo seemed like they liked this idea. Whether it's sane or not, it's a chance to make some things change. It's a chance to get heard. It's high school, it's a ride or die right now. Instead of feeling regret of not doing it, it was better to have the regret of doing something crazy later. Good or bad, you'll be never forgetten if you dare to do something like this in Yongsung. For years and even maybe decades! Trying to compete with the principal's favorites. As the outcasters, as the left behinds, as the weird ones.

But it still seemed way too unclear for Changmin and Kevin. Especially Kevin, he looked even more hesitant than Changmin. In that moment Changmin was just trying too hard to make a decision between losing his boyfriend, plus maybe some of his friends too and finally someone letting him to express his opinions or just decide something about him on his own.

But Sejin was sure that she had at least 2 of them at the palm of her hand and the rest was easier. Just a sprinkle of motivation would do. They've got so much potential, she got so much potential and she wasn't going to let it go wasted like the last time she tried to show what she is capable of. In her past school. She kept talking.

"And we can compose wonders together! Kevin plays the guitar, Jacob's on the keyboard, looks like everyone knows Sunwoo has the drumsticks and Changmin..."

Everyone looked at Sejin with zero idea. Seriously, how they could fit a violinist into a rock band? Unless they're planning to play symphonic metal or something - and it highly seemed like they definitely, absolutely won't.

"And Changmin can play the bass!"

Sunwoo gave a shocked, almost frightened gaze to Sejin. This girl was out of her mind. Changmin immediately stand up and shouted after hearing that. "No shit!"

"I never have ever laid a finger on a rock instrument. I can never do that. Forget it."

Sunwoo sat him down and patted his shoulder, he was trying to calm Changmin down but he was also shouting without realizing. "Calm down! Stop shouting."

After he heard his own voice, he lowered it down. "She doesn't know you but I do. You're probably the one who's musically gifted the most here."

Kevin didn't seem like he's agreeing with this, but Sunwoo didn't care much.

Sunwoo knew it so well that it's so hard for him to break out of the cycle. To leave what's usual to him. But they needed him now. And back in the days, whenever Sunwoo needed it, Changmin was there. And Sunwoo knew only if he let Changmin to be, Changmin would be there for him still. Sunwoo may not be a good friend, but he had reasons for it. Sunwoo may not be a good friend, but he knew Changmin is.

Changmin just gave a gaze to his friend and shook his head to the sides, moving his lips, saying "no" but not actually talking.

Sunwoo looked at him one last time and then the others, finally locking his eyes on Sejin's. Then he smiled and got a coin out of his pocket.

"Okay, here's the deal."

Jacob looked at him with raising his eyebrows.

"Heads is we're doing it, tails is we're not doing it."

"Let's see."

Please tails, please, please, please.

Sunwoo paused for a second and smacked his lips before flipping the coin.

Please let it be tails, God please, Changmin thought. Then everyone watched the coin falling down to the table. It was almost felt like everything was in stop motion right now.

When it finally fell, everyone stood up around the big table to see the tiny coin.

It was heads.

Chapter Text

Keep me on ice, subzero degrees
I'm so solid that you can't see through me
We rock the stage like a play off game

It was an usual Friday night. At least it seemed like a usual Friday night. Changmin was waiting Starstruck's performance to finish with his violin bag next to him, holding it like a newborn baby. He realized that he felt better after playing the violin for 1 straight hour today. He really felt a calmness and clearer state of mind. Since that, he didn't get tangled inside his feelings and thoughts.

It was only a hour and a half after the lesson. Whatever. He was feeling good and he was feeling good. At least better than the morning. That was what mattered.

Three point shot, no time on the clock
And the crowd goes wild, are you ready
Or not?

He fell back on the sofa at the very near to the stage and crossed his legs. This is the song Starstruck was going to attend to Rising Star and Changmin was already so bored of it. It was catchy but nothing helped to it aging really bad.

The people who are watching was mostly the girls (the cheerleaders to be specific) on the school besides Haknyeon's, Sangyeon's and Eric's family and some other customers of Maru's.

Juyeon's family? They were probably on a bussiness trip in God knows where. Changmin never saw them showing up on something related to Starstruck. They only show up when they become the champion of high schools' soccer league. They donate huge checks to Mr. Kang then they're long gone and nowhere to be found again. Maybe they didn't even know. Changmin was kind of envious about that. I miss my dad, he thought.

When he looked at the stage, he saw his boyfriend directly looking at nothing or no one else but him, smiling and looking kind of silly.

Changmin couldn't help but smile shyly. It seemed like Juyeon was staring at him for a long time while Changmin was trying his best to avoid him, thinking it would be better for him to do so. That was bullshit. Look at him. Changmin was in total awe.

'Cause I make your day
Lemme hear you say
Whoa oh oh oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh
And the crowd goes
Whoa oh oh oh oh

This was the probably last song to stare at your boyfriend while singing it in the stage. What a dumb moment we are enjoying right now, the sitting one thought.

Whoa oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
One, two, three, four!

When the song was finally over, Changmin started the applause, still smiling like a child. He couldn't resist but like Juyeon so bad no matter what. Really bad. But he hoped Juyeon was a good boyfriend though. Or at least try to understand him and what he feels at bit.

After the applauses of the small audience led by Changmin, Juyeon got on the mic again.

"Thank you everybody. Thank you for coming. Catch us up on Rising Star this year too!"

Then every single of them jumped out of the stage in a hurry. This place only let them play for a hour in Friday nights because they were saying it was so expensive for them to both pay them and set their stage equipments, lights and stuff. It was actually reasonable if you came to think of it, but after seeing how many customers from Yongsung or students from fellow high school Starstruck brought to them every 2 days in a week, the expensive decorations they just bought last month and the increase of quality of their pizzas, it sounded like a cop out. But this was the best option for them anyways.

Changmin also stood up to get next to them and looking like one of them with his violin bag behind his back. He couldn't help but imagining himself in a band, playing the guitar too.

Or the bass, whatever. It wasn't going to happen after all.

Haknyeon came from behind and squeezed his friend's shoulder, with an encouraging smile. "You look better today."

Changmin smiled either as a response and patted his back, jokingly talking and laughing after that. "And you played better today."

"Hey!" Eric, the guitarist of the band faked an annoyed voice to that.

Changmin sticked out his tongue and kept on laughing, just until his boyfriend held his arm lightly and seperated him to a different place to talk privately. "Changie."

"Yeah?" Yeah? The yeah of another great moment was just about to get ruined by Lee Juyeon.

Juyeon sighed before talking, realizing it's too loud here to talk about anything. Especially when that loudness was caused by Eric. Then he just smiled. "Shall I drop you home? It's half past 8. You said you need to get home before 9."

Changmin dramatically rolled his eyes. It wasn't a "ruin" ruin thankfully. "You could say that on there too."

The taller one held his boyfriend's chin as he kept talking. "I missed you and I'm trying to get us some alone time before it's 9."

I missed you.

Juyeon missed Changmin.

Changmin couldn't say or do anything other than looking at his boyfriend's dreamy face. Yeah, something definitely ruined by Juyeon in that moment. And that something was Changmin. He finally got to nod to what his boyfriend said. Why was he never suceeding to keep his cool in moments like this? He was keeping on disappointing his own self over and over again. But it hadn't matter even a tiny bit at that time. Even though he knew it should.

"I missed you too."

The expensive and big car was slightly warm than the outside, and Changmin couldn't decide if it's only his body heat rising up or the AC of the car was turned on after that short makeout.

When they seperated their lips, Juyeon slowly put one of his hands at his boyfriend neck, gently stroking his blond hair on there. Changmin could still feel all the hormones rushing through his veins in a speed that he almost couldn't take.

"Changie?" Juyeon locked his eyes on Changmin's after.

Changmin was still trying to manage his breaths. He licked his wet lips and answered whisperily. "Yeah?"

"Why did you look so sad yesterday? And in the morning too, is there anything I should know about?"

Changmin hummed. There was no way he noticed how sad he looked yesterday. If he could, he would do something about that in the meantime. He answered, with obivious disappoiment in his voice. "Did you talk with Hak?"

"No? No. Why?" You fucked it up man, Juyeon thought. It was so hard to have a conversation with his boyfriend without getting on his nerves or making him disappointed. And he never understood what he was doing wrong. He wasn't even sure who's to blame at the start.

Changmin gave his boyfriend a straight looking gaze, a gaze that Juyeon knew what it means.

He sighed and talked in a low voice, like lowering his voice would hide that he actually had no idea. "Yeah, I did."

Blond one sighed after that too, then got his gaze away from his boyfriend's face, looked down. This silence didn't suit what they had just a minute before. This was what you call ups and downs.

Juyeon took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, okay? I know I'm such an ignorant piece of shit at times but it's hard for me to keep up with all the emotional roller coasters you're riding on."

Emotional roller coasters? Why Changmin felt like Juyeon would put the blame on him at the end? He was so ready to get out of the car and go home alone.

Juyeon realized what he just said after seeing that face. "No, wait. I didn't mean that, like-"

Changmin couldn't look more done than he was right now, Juyeon thought. Fuck.

"You know what?" Changmin got closer to his boyfriend as he said that.

"I sometimes hate myself for liking you so freaking much."

The distance between them, the tears that are almost about to fall from his eyes, his smudged voice, those words... Maybe for the first time in his life, Juyeon felt so bad for treating someone like this. "I'm sorry baby."

"And I love you so much."

Changmin closed his eyes. "And the problem is exactly this."

Changmin couldn't stand feeling his boyfriend's breath right into his face, breaths that are getting hotter, more and more irregular as Changmin kept talking. And his confused expression. He was finally feeling what Changmin feels too. Then why Changmin felt so guilty causing this? So he sat straight before continuing to his words. "You say that you're sorry and think you fixed everything, or you show up once in a day saying 'I love you Changie' then keep acting like I don't exist."

He paused as he couldn't resist holding his tears anymore. He felt like his eyes are boiling up and melting.

"Nothing's fixed Juyeon, nothing's fixed."

Juyeon could only do nothing but wipe Changmin's tears at that moment. It was killing him. He was so pure, so innocent, so fragile, so emotional... Everything that Juyeon's not. Neither he didn't deserve to be Juyeon nor Juyeon didn't deserve being loved like this. But he wanted to be loved by this pureness. It was selfish, he knew that but he couldn't keep himself away from him. He wanted it so badly. His love, his attention, his feelings. He wanted it all. He looked at his boyfriend's teary eyes, red nose, and shaking lips. He wanted to say something, but nothing would make it right or explain what did he feel like. All he could say was, "I don't wanna lose you."

Changmin wiped his tears by himself this time and cleared his throat, it felt like the words were tangled inside his throat. "Good night Juyeon."

Juyeon struggled talking, but still managed to hold his boyfriend's hand tightly before he left. "Changmin."

"What now? Are we breaking up like this?"

Changmin didn't reply for a while, and that while felt like centuries for both. "No. Yes. I don't know. You decide."

"You're the one doing that." His voice got lower and lower after every single syllable came out of his weak lips.

"You decide."

Then he finally got out of the car. And yeah, the hotness wasn't definitely coming from that damn car. He closed his eyes, trying to find some strenght in his legs to walk him home, took a deep breath and tried not to hear Juyeon's crying, cursing, shouting and hitting things.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

I sometimes hate myself for liking you so much.

I hate myself for liking you.

I hate myself.

I hate myself.

While waiting for his knock to get replied, all Juyeon could think was this. It was echoing over and over in his head, but getting louder every time unlike an echo.

Finally someone opened the door.

"Hello ma'am."

The woman who still looked like she's in her 30s opened the door, looking confused for someone coming to their house at almost 10 pm.

"Changmin forgot his violin." He tried to smile after saying so, handing the violin bag to Changmin's mom. He didn't know how to hide his bruised hands. And wow, Changmin really looks like her.

The woman smiled back. "Oh I see. Thank you. He always forgets things nowadays. I don't know what's happening to him."

Oh.

"What's your name? You must be from his violin class, right?"

He smacked his lips together and thought about how to answer that. Changmin's dad wasn't there, but he didn't want to cause any other drama for Changmin. He caused enough. "Erhm, yes I am. My name is Juyeon."

The woman tried to think if she remembered Changmin talking about someone named Juyeon.

"Can I see Changmin?" Juyeon finally got to said that. Changmin was right. It was really nerve wracking to talk with his family about anything. What a long conversation to have in front of the door.

"I don't think so. He caught a cold today, I guess. He has got a fever and his face was red when he came home. You better text him or wait for the next lesson."

Yeah, he caught a virus named Juyeon and his awfulness. Then he saw Changmin slowly coming down from upstairs. He really looked bad, like he's really sick. Juyeon didn't want to know how long he had been crying for.

His mom saw Changmin coming down too and faced towards him. "Love, Juyeon's here. He said you forgot your violin."

Changmin couldn't hide his shocked face, yet talked with a neutral voice. What the hell was he doing in front of their house at 10 pm? "Ah, really? Again? I'm sorry." That was the fakest thing Changmin and Juyeon both ever heard.

Juyeon talked before Changmin's mom. "Changmin, can we talk?"

Changmin glanced at his mom, around the house, Juyeon and then his mom again. His mom shook her head knowing he was about to ask for permission. "Just don't come so near each other, okay? Don't get your friend sick too."

Changmin didn't even listen at the ending of what his mom said. He got out and closed the door, dragged Juyeon at the back of the house. He was sure his step dad wouldn't see them from there, inside that big house. "What the hell are you doing in my house at 10 pm?"

Juyeon couldn't answer for a while after hearing how cracked Changmin's voice sounded. Thankfully he couldn't see how red his eyes are. "Juyeon!"

Juyeon shook his head, trying to get himself on the place. "I brought your violin."

"You could do that in the morning too!" He tried to shout and sound mad saying this but his voice didn't let him. "What if my dad was to open the door?"

"Also with those hands! What did you do to yourself?"

Seeing how worried Changmin made him even sadder. I hate myself for liking you so much. Changmin held his wrists and looked at his hands. It was bruised and bleeding all over. "And you drove like that?"

Juyeon didn't have an answer for all of those. He just got home and punched everything he could find. Then saw the violin at the back seat of his car and came here. It was that simple and quick. He was actually trying to find an excuse to see him again and the violin became one. He just smacked his lips. "Changmin, if-"

Changmin didn't let him talk, trying hard to not to cry any more. "Go dress those wounds. They're going to get infected."

If I'm the one to decide, then I don't want us to break up.

I like you so much too.

Can we hug? I need one so much right now.

Juyeon ignored what his boyfriend was saying and held his hands, didn't care about the fact that he'd get blood all over his hands too. He took a deep breath and looked at his face, it was more painful to look at his face than all of those wounds right now. "Changmin."

"What did you said in the car, did you really mean it?" Juyeon didn't think he would sound this heartbroken saying that.

Changmin looked down, why was it so hard to look at his face? "Mean what?"

"That you hate yourself for liking me."

Changmin felt like he's shattered in pieces after hearing this. Seemed like this was what Juyeon think about while making those bruises. Oh my God...

It was Changmin's turn to say sorry and try to fix things by only that. How bad those tables were turning tonight. "I'm sorry, it was too much."

Seeing how it didn't fix anything too was really annoying. A sorry wouldn't change anything, he already has those scars and Changmin's hand was covered with his blood still. It was so bad that it kept bleeding even minutes after. Even thinking about it made Changmin feel the pain.

Juyeon sighed.

And Changmin too.

Then they both let go of each other's hands. Juyeon still wanted to hug him really bad, kiss his cute cheeks, feel his scent inside his lungs. He needed it. And he needed to know what the blond one feels too. Pain? Heartbreak? Sadness? Maybe even regret for having Juyeon in his life. Only if someone could tell him Changmin wanted to do the same either. Changmin looked at him one last time while Juyeon was thinking all of those. He was just drowning the things he wants to say inside his brain. It was so hard. So hard seeing how fast all the things went downhill in one night. It was like the things that Changmin wanted to say layered on each other every other day then finally broke because of the heaviness.

"Go home. And don't punch things. You need those hands for playing the guitar."

Juyeon smiled sourly to that. And said before leaving, "Don't hate yourself."

"Mom, I'm leaving." That was the thing Changmin said before heading to the heavy white door.

His mom raised her head to take a look at his son, asking, "What's in your hand?"

She meant the big piece of paper on his hand by that. "Are you still sending letters to Minhyung? Your dad would be mad if he hears about it."

Changmin paused and faced his mother. " 'Minhyung' is my dad, not him. Also he can't tell me if I can talk with my father or not."

He kept after clearing his throat, "He's your husband. Not my dad. If you want to erase your past, then go on. But I won't let a stranger claim himself as my family. He's not one."

It was clear that the woman was getting angry, but this was a conversation that Javier shouldn't know about. Knowing that Changmin would never accept him was saddening for her. "He's a criminal Changmin! We're trying to protect you."

Changmin pulled his shirt's collar while responding. "Oh, for God's sake! We both know he isn't."

Changmin didn't want to keep on this conversation. He should've left when his mom asked what was that. This wasn't the first time they were arguing about this topic, and looked like it won't be the last either. Changmin had enough of fights, negative feelings and disappointments in just these 2 days. It was more than Changmin could take. There was bunch of things to overthink now, great!

"If he was, I would be the first one to leave him." He said quickly before leaving. He felt a great fury in every second they talked. He couldn't believe it was his mother saying all of those.

Hi dad,

Sorry for not writing you frequently these days, I feel like my life gets messier and messier as I'm growing up. That's what did you said to little Changmin on that day... Before entering the court for your final trial.

I know you don't like it when I talk about things like that, but I can't help remembering the times when we were together... I miss you so much dad. I can't wait the day when I'll be turning 18, I promise I'll visit you every week. (Since mom doesn't let me see you and I can't enter to there without a parent yet, sigh.) And I'm not gonna listen you if you say you don't want me to come to the prison. I will.

My mom and Javier? They're doing fine, I guess. I don't really talk with him. Every time I do, he ends up scolding me for not being a "perfect" child like he wants to or talks about reaaaaaally boring things like I should study hard and get accepted to a college abroad. I would only go abroad to visit Warner Bros Studios with you and drink butter beer together. Little Changmin would love that! Not the butter beer part, of course. :D

Mom always fights with me for not getting along with him or listening to him. And they make me call him "dad" too which gets me really furious. I don't even feel like I'm friends with him sometimes. She always says they're just trying to make me a good living in the future. I mean, he has so much money. Much more than we can even spend together in our entire life, dad. He just got mom a brand new expensive car for their anniversary! Like it was necessary. We got 3 cars in the garage right now. So yeah, they shouldn't worry about that. They should worry more about putting this much pressure on me like that. I know you wouldn't.

I'm getting good grades. I promise. Also my violin teacher says I'm one of her best students. I guess I got that genes from you.

And for the Juyeon case, I think I should've listened you at the beginning. He barely wants to see me nowadays, telling me he's busy with Starstruck and soccer stuff. And when I try to talk with him less, he always ends up next to me somehow. It feels like we're playing tag. It feels complicated.

He's not a bad person, I swear. He's just bad at love, I'd say. He makes me feel lonely even when we're next to each other. I actually feel more lonely when we're together. We fought just 2 hours ago as I'm writing this. I need you. We were doing good as ever compared to this past week, then everything got messed up all of a sudden. I only realized I said really bad things when he came back all the way down to our house at 10 pm, looking really heartbroken. He looked like he cried so bad... I did too. I feel so bad, I should've been more careful with my words. I feel like the worst person alive, dad. I really broke his heart... He even punched the walls! He came to me bleeding all over. I feel really bad.

He said I'm just really unstable and have my feelings all over the place and it's hard for him to keep up with all of those. Am I that emotional? Looks like he doesn't like my personality, but I am who I am since the beginning. He's the one acting odd. I know I shouldn't keep chasing him when he makes me feel this way, but I find myself dumbfounded every time he smiles at me. Is this how falling in love feels like? Was mom used to make you feel like that too? Sunwoo thinks I look like his puppet, do you think it's really like that?  I'm not his puppet. I don't let him decide for me. (A/N: jokes on you, Ji Changmin. 🙄)

By talking about Sunwoo, we're talking again! I don't know why he stopped talking to me though. But we're good again. I'm happy about that. He's still full of energy and still funny. And I guess I made bunch of new friends, but thats a long story, so I have to talk about that in my next letter. The story of us meeting would take a whole season of a sitcom.

Until you receive this and reply dad, see you later. 6 months later and we'll finally get to see each other. I love you so much. And please eat well!

 

,Your best friend
Changmin

After leaving the post office, Changmin felt better for the first time since last night. Even knowing his dad's existence was enough for him to feel relieved. He smiled and run his fingers through his hair. The weather was too nice to be sad. So Changmin did the thing he had in his mind since the last night: texting Sejin. He didn't want to hesitate anymore. He sat in the bank in front of the post office, which is really near to Sunwoo's house, but Changmin totally forgot about that. He got his phone out of his jacket's pocket and started texting.

When's our first practice?

Send.

If Juyeon really loves him, and doesn't wanna lose him, he was better love his boyfriend when he was playing the bass too. Changmin won't change for him. Not anymore. And Juyeon had to learn to love him like this. In the way Changmin was.

And Changmin knew he had to do the same for Juyeon.

Chapter Text

"Mr. Kang, it's unbelievable that you reduced our school's music budget to zero! It's not fair! We have so many musically gifted students, do we just ignore them now?"

"Not to even mention you moved my class to the basement. Just for that gym salon! That place isn't even a classroom."

The old man made a total 180 degrees turn, gave a quick glance to Mrs. Han and then got back to what was he busy for. "Chaewon, you know. Among the high schools in Incheon, we have the biggest reputation. And that means, we're a big place. And in big places..."

Chaewon gave this response an eye roll, knowing the old man wouldn't see. At least he could talk to her in the formal language if he won't look at her while talking. This was more annoying than she thought.

"Someone needs to make big decisions." He kept talking, still not condescending to face the person he was talking to. This man was a complete asshole and nothing more. Just a control freak over some teenagers. His teenage years must be ruined by someone like this either. He was probably taking his revenge, but he was just taking some awesome lives by doing so. Selfish bastard, the woman thought.

"And that someone is me."

Then he walked away without saying anything. . Mrs. Han knew he was going to his beloved gym salon, it was finally opening today. Every day was a nightmare waiting for that black hole in the school to get opened.

Another failed trial for making him know that she and her students are dying in a filthy ditch in that so called music class. But she won't give up. Either he was going to give her a proper class, or make her some budget for it. She was rejecting the rejection.

"Come on Sunwoo, it's a simple 4/4 beat. Firstly it's B to Bb, back to B, than an F#."

As Sunwoo wearily nodded to what Kevin said, Kevin entered the song with his strong guitar solo, drums following after. Jacob tried to catch up with it, but this was harder than they all excepted. Sejin didn't know what kind of lyrics to sing with this song. Wasn't it too heavy?

Changmin made a facepalm and sat on the table. This looked hopeless. Kevin stopped playing and looked at them. "Okay, okay? We got this. We just need some practice."

Changmin left the bass to its place and stood up. There was no way they could make something cool - or at least good - out of this. They won't compete with Starstruck like that. It wasn't even worth it to lose Juyeon or his friends over this. "That's all. I'm out."

"What? No! You're the one asked for this." Sejin came after Changmin in order to say this, while Changmin was already ready to leave with his backpack on.

"Yeah but I didn't imagine it like that! How do you guys except for me to play this? I'm classically trained." Changmin said in disappointment.

"Okay, maestro. You guys play your Paganini's and Bach's. I'm not here for that." Kevin sat in the corner after saying so, taking off his guitar.

"Quiting too soon?" Sunwoo shouted behind his drums, trying to talk with more encouraging voice compared to Sejin.

Then Sejin turned towards everyone, talked with raising her hands. "Come on guys. It's not the time to be afraid."

"It's time to change things. We can start a revolution."

Jacob smiled to that at the back, looked at her and Kevin sitting there without his guitar. Then started to play something softer, something catchy. Something anyone would like.

Sunwoo listened it carefully, then slowly joined the song too. Sejin lightly pulled Changmin over back to his place. She got on the mic while Changmin was putting his backpack down, grabbing his bass again. This time he succeeded to figure it out and play the part. The song was really good! It was only Kevin now, who's not playing anything in the time Sejin started singing. He looked down. This wasn't what he wanted.

Can you see me?

Cause I'm right here

Can you listen?

Cause I've been trying to make you notice

What would it mean to me?

To feel like somebody

She looked at everybody enjoying and smiling while playing the song, this was the right time to get her hopes up from this people. Not Kevin though. Not yet.

We've been out on our way to nowhere

Trying so hard to get there

And I say, oh

Finally Kevin stood up and joined the song, but not with his own guitar. With an acoustic one, standing behind him on this dusty basement.  And in this meantime, Changmin really felt himself playing the bass. Something he never felt while playing the violin. Like he found himself that was long lost years ago after his dad, his muse was put away from him.

We're gonna let it show

We're gonna just let go of everything

Holding back on our dreams

And try

To make it come alive

Come on, let it shine

So they can see

We were meant to be

Somebody

They never knew that Mrs. Han was there, listening to them practicing in front of the door with a can of lemonade from that vending machine next to the detention room. Couldn't help but singing along and vibing with it.

Somehow

Someway

Someday

Somebody

Sejin got the microphone out of its stand started to walk around in the little room while singing. The microphone wasn't actually turned on, it was only there to give the feels for them as if they’re really on the stage. She got next to Sunwoo and sat in the corner of his chair, crossing her legs after. In that very moment, all everyone else could think about was how touching these lyrics are for them. It was telling their story, pouring their soul all over the place. It was amazing. It didn’t even feel real for them at times, they were so perfectly harmonized as if they practiced this song a million times.

I’m so tired

Of being invisible

But I feel it, yeah

Like the fire below the surface

Trying to set me free

Burnin' inside of me

'Cause we're standing on the edge now

It's a long way down

But I say, oh

We're gonna let it show

We're gonna just let go of everything

Holding back on our dreams

And try

To make it come alive

Come on, let it shine

So they can see

We were meant to be

Somebody

Somebody, yeah

Somehow

Someday

Someway

Somebody

Sejin stood up for the next verse, walked to the front again and kept singing with her eyes closed. Holding on the microphone stand while. Everyone sang along this verse. They all had the same feelings rushing down their veins. Changmin felt like this was the moment he was waiting for this moment in his entire life.

We will walk out of this darkness

Feel the spotlight glowing like a yellow sun

When we fall, we fall together

Till we get back up and we will rise as one, oh, oh ,oh

Oh, we’re gonna let it shine (let it shine)

We’re gonna just let go of everything

Holding back on our dreams

And try

To make it come alive

Come on, let it shine

So they can see

We were meant to be

Somebody

Somebody, yeah

Somehow

Someway

Someday

Somebody

Somebody, oh oh oh  

After the song finished, everyone in the room looked at the Sejin shocked. Her voice was more than good, it was amazing and powerful. It was the right voice to use to get heard. Kevin asked in awe, with that being a rare moment to see. ‘’Sejin, seriously how do you write all of those? They’re masterpieces!’’

Changmin couldn’t help but recall the memories of him and his dad, playing the guitar and singing along to Bigbang songs together when he was 8. Everytime little Changmin was trying to grab and play that guitar that was almost in his sizes with his little hands, he was crying about how he couldn’t make it sounds as beautiful as the time when his dad plays it. That was how he started to play the violin. His dad promised him that he’ll get him something smaller than that and doesn’t need to put both of your hands in strings that day, and got home with a cheap, little violin the next day. Changmin got mad about it first since it doesn’t sound the same as his dad’s guitar, then he loved playing it eventually. He thought playing an instrument that has a bow was so cool.  It was too small for him play it now, but he was still keeping it. The most prized thing that was left from his dad.

Sejin smiled to that as a reply, then realizing she’s still holding the microphone tightly. As everyone was laughing to both that and how mesmerized they were for their own performance, Sunwoo got up and shouted. ‘’Guys, we are the endgame!’’

‘’Let’s win this thing.’’ He said after giving a high five to Sejin and Changmin, with his giant smile.

‘’And in honor to that, I want to specially thank to our sponsors: Turbo Blast.’’ Mr. Kang was talking to the microphone standing in the tall bench, with the giant emblem of Yongsung High stuck on it. This was super boring. But Juyeon, Haknyeon, Eric and Sangyeon had to sit in the front row and applause for whatever Mr. Kang says. Or else they knew they would get scolded. Suck ass man. If he won’t make them win the Rising Star, Eric thought. Just because of Mrs. Han’s this new so called band everyone was gossipping about since the morning. No one even knew who are they. Eric would be nowhere to found if he needs some yes man. He was furious furious. Where the hell they come from, when just a month left for Rising Star? This was bullshit. Straight up bullshit. Eric was going to put them back to wherever the shithole they come from once he finds out who were they.

Then some grown up men showed up holding a golden plaque in their hands, while the big screen was showing the adversitement of their energy drink. Of course the plaque was for Mr. Kang. Not for the school, their coach or someone else. It was always Mr. Kang, and it was always going to be Mr. Kang.

No one had the balls to talk directly with Eric, he was spitting fire since the morning. Not even Juyeon. Haknyeon looked at Eric and Sangyeon sitting next to them, then bent his neck a little to whisper to Juyeon. ‘’Where’s Changmin?’’

Juyeon didn’t want to answer to that. He shrugged his shoulders. ‘’Why don’t you text him, then?’’

Juyeon faced just a really bit and frowned to that. ‘’We fought jackass. Thanks to you.’’ He also whispered saying those. All he was caring right now was looking interested in this shit and hide his bruised, scarred hands. Then he faced towards the salon back.

‘’Thanks to me? What the fuck?’’

‘’Yeah, you! You suggested me to talk with him like that.’’

Haknyeon frowned this time and replied, ‘’What were you thinking to do, then?’’ Haknyeon just wanted to get 2 slices of bread and put Juyeon’s face between them and tell them he’s an idiot sandwich. What are you? An idiot sandwich. An idiot sandwich, what? An idiot sandwich, Chef Ju.

‘’Shut up Hak, we’re going to get scolded by Mr. Kang.’’ Sangyeon squeezed Haknyeon’s shoulder and joined their conversaiton by that, randomly applausing after. Haknyeon didn’t care about that and kept speaking and Sangyeon made them even more noticeable by doing that. ‘’Just to wait and see if the things are getting fixed on their own?’’

‘’Yeah? That’s what I always do.’’ Juyeon said so in a rather higher level of voice accidentally.

‘’You’re just a moron, dude. Changmin doesn’t deserve you. Don’t you see the problem?’’ Haknyeon stated.

Juyeon couldn’t stand it anymore and faced to his friend finally. ‘’I do! The problem is me! I know! I heard that from him too, I don’t need it twice!’’

‘’Shut the fuck up, both of you!’’ Eric called out both of them from his seat, he was the one sitting the furthest from Haknyeon.

Juyeon stood up after saying that and told Eric to switch their seats. The last thing Juyeon would like is accidentally shout in this huge salon. It’d get echoed through all the walls of the building. Sangyeon talked to Haknyeon, ‘’Let go of him Hak. You’re right, but this is the last day and place you guys can fight about Juyeon’s sad relationships.’’

A loud, long applause started just after those words of Sangyeon. His timing was totally awful.

Chapter Text

"What's going on?" Sejin asked without a clue, - to Sunwoo who was walking next to him - meaning everyone looking at them and whispering to their friends since the moment they stepped inside the crowded school hallway. It couldn't be made more obivious than this.

"They're mad because we're cutting Starstruck's stage short at the party." Sunwoo shortly, but adequately explained.

"So?" Sejin tried to understand why Starstruck was so important for every single student in Yongsung. It made zero sense to her that those jerks are so popular with their so called music. Just because of their looks? For Sejin, even that wasn't enough for them be so popular and loved. Their songs were that bad and she was almost sure about even them don't like it either. It was so pop-like and mediocre to be called rock music.

"So," Sunwoo replied while ploughing through the other people, heading onto the elevator. "They're the cool guys, everyone's favorites." The lightheartedness was easily sensed in between his words.

The girl pushed the button of elevator and turned around to Sunwoo, to keep the conversation going. "What are we then?"

Sunwoo replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Bunch of weirdos, nobodies. Persistents."

The elevator came before Sejin got to reply back. She raised her eyebrows and smiled after Sunwoo's words.

"Cool! I love that." Figures of speech would be the best thing to name those words. They were both entering the old, heavy cabinet in the meantime.

When the elevator finally arrived to their favorite place in the school, the basement, someone stopped the two by saying, "Looks like you guys are one of us now." Denoting that he noticed them coming by almost everyday since the last week.

Sejin looked at the boy with blue streaks on his hair, he was leaving a nice first impression. Nicer than everyone else they came across upstairs, she thought. She asked in a neutral voice right after. "You?"

"Yeah. Us, the basement rats." He quickly answered.

Then he kept talking while joining to their way to the detention room. "Any type of student Mr. Kang wouldn't like, you can find them all here."

Sunwoo looked around the narrow, rather dark hallway to see other people who were busy with things. Things that seems like they really enjoy doing. They weren't the only one to come to that place for that, it showed. Sunwoo and Sejin were only seeing it now. Somehow it felt good to them knowing about this. There are people just like them too. They were loads of people who are pushed, tucked and enforced under the ground, under the soil that need to get their voice heard. They needed a loud, reverberative voice to get them heard.

Sejin wanted to be their voice that they couldn't. To say the things they can't say, to speak up what they've been getting silenced about, to let them show their true selves. To tell they're meant to be somebody. What kind of somebody they were.

This is the revolution they started. The revolution of unheard.

The boy that him and Sejin didn't know his name yet introduced them one by one while walking past to them together, in an excited voice that seemed like he often has. "The art freaks."

"The gamers and the machine whisperers, with their language of 0's and 1's."

"The dance machines."
"Cool." Sunwoo commented in between after seeing the people dancing freestyle to a familiar song that Sunwoo couldn't name in that while.

The boy smiled and kept showing the each club's room in the hallway. "The chess genius."

"What's up?" He smiled and talked to the petite girl with a bob haircut, even though he didn't have time to talk with her properly. She was playing chess with herself in the corner. It looked sad and lonely to Sunwoo, but she looked okay with it whatsoever. Probably she was enjoying even more like that.

"She still couldn't find anyone to play with her for 2 months." He explained after he passed to the next door.

"The Shakespeare's."

He paused walking and took a turn to the two. "And the place I belong. The sound masters."

"I have to leave you guys here now. My name is Chanhee. If you guys need some good sound adjustment for your Hallowen stage, hit me up." He smiled delightedly, no doubt he was really happy to have them in here.

"Sejin."

"Sunwoo."

The two both introduced themselves to Chanhee, even though Sunwoo was assuming that he knew their name. Chanhee said one last thing - half jokingly - before parting ways.

"Welcome to the underground."

"And, by the ways guys," He kept talking after Sejin and Sunwoo took a step or two forward to the detention room at the end of the run down hallway.

"What's your band's name?"

Sunwoo and Sejin stared at each other for a short while. Sejin couldn't help but laugh while replying. "We don't have one."

She felt the need to add on that later, her voice was rather clearer this time. "I mean, yet."

Chanhee did the same as Sejin, so did Sunwoo. And that was the final sentence of their conversation, since someone called Chanhee's name inside the room.

Sunwoo gave a pace to his steps again, talked without turning his forwarded gaze to somewhere else. "Looks like we're already gaining fans."

The girl couldn't help but laugh, replied in a made up bratty voice. "Wait until they hear our music."

"Come on, they're waiting for us." Sejin smiled and walked faster, passing Sunwoo a little bit by that.

It was only a matter of a minute for them to reach the detention room. Sejin stopped Sunwoo, who was about to open the door. "Wait."

Sunwoo turned the other way around to see what was his friend about to. She was inserting a coin to the vending machine. Of course. Sunwoo giggled to that.

"You forgot the most important thing." She giggled back to him and gave him the other can she got.

"Right."

Sejin opened the can before him and took a sip from the cold lemonade. It looked like she felt all the sourness in the world while watching her face. Sunwoo wondered if it was just lemon juice inside the cans instead of lemonade up to this point. He couldn't help but laugh to Sejin's face. "You should see your face right now."

Sejin replied this one with a tone as if she wants a revenge. She grabbed the other can on Sunwoo's hand, opened it and offered it back to him. "Your turn."

She raised one of her eyebrows, giving him a fake judging face and waited for his sip. Sunwoo took it and quickly entered inside the dusty room before Sejin gets to see his face. She shouted from the door. "Cheater!"

Everyone turned around to their loud and very attention catching enterance, joining their laughter all together. Wow, every single person in the room had their lemonades. Sejin giggled at this fact without really being aware about it. Changmin raised the can high and opened up a new conversation. "Looks like we already claimed our official badges."

"Yeah! Lemonade!" Everyone said it loudly and tossed their cans of the dictionary definition of 'sourness' together with a childish laughter. 

Sejin jumped on the desk that's in front of the dirty chalkboard and sat on there, shaking her legs. She licked her lips and clapped to draw their loud friends' attention towards her. "So."

"We need a name. Any ideas?"

Sunwoo took his little notebook from his backpack, frowned while reading it. As if it was something really serious. "What about Woo?"

Sejin bursted out a laughter hearing this. "So are we going to name the band your name?"

"What? It isn't that bad. There are groups like that."

Jacob commented without facing to Sunwoo. "Well, we're definitely not one of them."

"What about Sarcasm?" Kevin suggested suddenly, then finished his lemonade at one shot. It wasn't a good idea.

"Here comes another bad idea." Sejin jokingly said and tried to find some chalk to write on the big, old board. Turned out there was neither chalk nor a legit opinion. This was harder than she thought. Even creating a song and getting everyone's ass together yesterday was easier. Sejin is going to be us dumbasses' backbone, Changmin thought. He wasn't complaining at all though. They would be probably arguing over something very else, totally forgetting about they met up to choose a name for the band if it wasn't for Sejin. Or thanks to Sejin, maybe he should say.

"I mean, we can keep that in mind as an option. Why not?" Changmin seemed like he liked this name unlike Sunwoo. He was shaking his head to Changmin secretly, making Changmin read his lips that were saying no.

Changmin and his phone was the thing that cut off the short, but uncomforting silence. It was Juyeon calling. Changmin didn't know if he should be happy that Juyeon is calling him, or be sad about the fact that his boyfriend was that clueless about where he was in the same building. Chances were he didn't want to see him either. He took a quick glance to everyone. "Guys, I gotta answer this."

He stood up and got out of the class. He was thinking about how he should answer the call. Should he sound mad? Disappointed? Neutral? Sad? Anticipating? Or usual? Yeah, usual. Just like... just like Changmin. Everyday Changmin. He cleared his throat and finally answered.

"Changmin, where are you? Since the start of the day?"

"If I say where, will you be able to come?" Changmin didn't sound like he how wanted, put he couldn't fit this feeling into a particular definition.

The one on the other side of the line didn't deliver an answer at first, only a sigh that was barely heard on the phone. "No question on top of a question."

Juyeon wished he didn't sound angry or strict for this, but Changmin would never know it.

"Uhm, I'm with Sunwoo." Changmin was immeasurably failing at what he aimed when he picked up the phone. Stupid, he talked to his inner voice. Maybe Juyeon was right. He was desperately unstable. He was walking to the sides while talking, although how narrow the hallway was making it hard. He finally gave up and got near to the vending machine with small steps.

"Sunwoo? Wasn't he mad at you? Look Changmin, I know you're hidi-

Changmin stopped as soon as he saw the paper hung on the vending machine. What the fuck was that? Since when it was there? How come Sejin and Sunwoo didn't notice it? "I'm gonna call you later."

He speedily hung up the phone and took of the paper from the vending machine aggresively. It was writed in all capital letters, with red ink. Scary, he'd say. Why would someone do this?

"Back off the bash!"

He rushed inside immediately with the paper on his hand and looked at everyone - who were shocked to see Changmin's expression and how nervous he looked - while reading the paper. Nobody understood why he was panicking at first.

"That's the best idea we've got so far." Sunwoo stated.

"No! Look at this!" Changmin handed him the paper. Everyone got closer to him, drawing a small circle centered around him as he read it aloud for the second time.

"Back off the bash! Or else..."

Or else?

"Who is this?"

"Guys, now this is a threat."

"If Starstruck is making this, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to create a war zone." It was beyond impossible to understand who was talking at the moment. Everyone was talking with a single voice, just causing a headache and nothing else. Nobody understood nobody.

"Of course it can't be them!" Changmin joined to their tornado of voices.

"Oh no, here's their lawyer." Sunwoo made fun of Changmin saying so.

"No, I'm not saying it to defend them." Changmin sat back to his place, getting further to them.

He added to his explanation, "They don't even know who we are. Including me. I didn't tell them yet."

"Well, rumors fly. Everyone knows who we are." Sejin said, rolling her eyes, remembering the moment they had in the corridor just 20 minutes ago.

Everyone knows. Everyone. Was that why Juyeon called Changmin and asked where he was?

Unbelievable.

Chapter Text

"Why are you here?"

That was the question Juyeon directed to Changmin when the blonde one was who he saw when he opened the door.

Because I'm stupid and I missed you. I don't care that you're probably insanely mad at me. I'm that desperate and hopeless. No, that definitely wasn't what Changmin was going to say. He smacked his lips together before responding. "To get my dad's letter. It should be arrived today."

Since Changmin's mom and Javier didn't let him to send letters to jail, Changmin asked Juyeon if he can write Juyeon's home as the delivery adress for his dad's letters. His parents wouldn't care or maybe even know about it whatsoever, Juyeon did that favor for Changmin. He knew how much Changmin values and loves his dad, so it was beyond impossible for Juyeon to say that no. He suddenly remembered the first time Changmin talked about his dad with him. How he missed him so much, how they were like best friends, how he teached him how to play the violin, how he saved his life. Juyeon never knew what that "saving" had a meaning behind, it was the first and the last time Changmin said that. Juyeon didn't ever bring that topic back since how bad he cried in Juyeon's arms after he recalled all those good memories. Memories Juyeon never had, and never will have with his dad. It wasn't that his dad didn't love him or care about him. It was that he barely got to see him or his mother. Even if Changmin's memories was just fit into a 10 years span, and it was impossible for him to remember the first 5 years of it though, they were probably more than the good memories Juyeon had with his dad. He didn't even know his dad properly. Who was his favorite artist? When did he learn how to ride a bike? Who was his first love? Was it his mother?  He had no idea. It was saddening in both ways. Saddening catastrophely. Both that Changmin was seperated and driven away from his dad when they love each other so much, and both how Juyeon's dad wasn't there for him at all when he could be.

Juyeon finally stopped diving deep down into his thoughts and gave Changmin the answer he was waiting for. Allegedly he was mad at Changmin after what he heard about today. And the phone call. "Yeah, it's there."

His voice was low unintentionally while saying so. He cleared his throat to get out off this mental brain fog and handed him the letter waiting for Changmin in the letter box that was next to the door. Juyeon usually gives them to Changmin at school, but he didn't even hear his footsteps today. How did they pass through an entire school day being apart? It was hard for Juyeon to get used of this. Even harder for Changmin.

"Thank you." Changmin murmurred those as he put the letter in his backpack. He was being careful to not to make eye contact with Juyeon - to hide how sad and ready to cry he looked. He had no idea how Juyeon's face or gaze looks like right now.

"Okay then. See you? Can I say that?" The blond one said so in a shaky voice before leaving. He turned his back so fast that he didn't even let Juyeon to make an answer for that. However, he paused after one or two steps, when Juyeon was almost closing the door wide shut. "Juyeon."

"You heard about the band stuff, right?" He talked without turning his torso towards Juyeon.

"Of course I did!" Juyeon frowned after this, even though Changmin won't see it.

He sighed before continuing. "Just how long were you planning to hide it? Will you be like 'peek a boo!' at the backstage?"

"No! I don't know, okay? I knew you'd be mad at me. I didn't want to start a war between us again." Changmin's voice was breathy.

Juyeon stepped outside the house and got right behind Changmin. "Look at us now. Is it better?" Changmin looked down. No crying this time, Changmin. Not again. "Just why are you mad at me? For hiding it or because I'm going to compete with you?" His voice was almost like a whisper.

"Both." Juyeon simply answered.

The blond one was pushing himself so hard to not to cry, even though he didn't know why he wants to cry. He would define his emotions as a labyrinth instead of a rollercoaster right now. So hard that Juyeon was pretty aware of it even though he can't even see Changmin's face properly. After realizing this, he didn't find this answer enough, so he added.

"I'm mad because I don't even know who are you hanging with, what are you doing even when we're at the school, what do you want to do or why do you want to do."

He cleared his throat. He could feel the one's who was standing in front of him irregular and frequent breaths. He felt like he was talking with the most fragile human being at the time. It was his fault for Changmin to become that fragile. That was what his little sister meant when they talked about Changmin. She said that Changmin is a type of person who equates the amount of the attention and visible love they got as a validation from the other person. Honestly speaking, this sentece was too confusing for Juyeon to progress. But it didn't took too long for him to do so. It only took a staying awake all night long, a whispered fight with Haknyeon in front of a silent crowd, four cans of beers and some lyrics writing - that somehow all turned to be about Changmin - for it to make it as simple as it is now for Juyeon. In this defense, there would be no way he's the one to blame from now on.

Yeah, it only taking just one night and a little bit more than half a day sounded absurd but it did. It did.

Juyeon touched Changmin's shoulder - very lightly. "And it's my fault. I know and I accept."

An apology, a proper apology wouldn't be too much to except as of now, Changmin's inner voice said. But he actually didn't believe his ears at first for hearing this words, to be clear. How obivious one can change overnight? What did you do to Juyeon and who was Changmin talking for? It definitely wasn't Juyeon.

Juyeon sighed and continued to his words. "But it's my very right to be mad at the person who says he has feelings for me when he wants to compete with me. When he's the only person who knows the best how much I value my music."

Oh, seemed like it would. Lee Juyeon, you're seriously tiring. Changmin wanted to say that out loud so bad.

Changmin kept the conversation going while turning his head a little bit - finally. Although he was still really scared to look at Juyeon in the eyes. His hands were shaking, why? Why it was so hard for Changmin's body to take these? "You say that to me? You're the one who should know about how much I value my music."

He wanted to sound mad or at least stronger for this one, he was indeed being succesful if his voice didn't crack in the middle. Stupid.

But the exact opposite, Juyeon sounded too calm and clear for this one. He gently moved his hand off from Changmin's shoulder to his chin. "Of course I do know Changie. If you want to play in a band, okay. That's great!"

Changmin felt like his words were getting lighter and lighter after every single one. Specially Changie. He sounded too loving for that. Too loving that he just wanted to taste his lips instead of having this conversation in front of their house. One single word and Changmin forgot everything. That was how weak was he when it came to Juyeon, even when he didn't like it nonetheless.

"Why don't you play with us then? What are you trying to do? Taking a revenge for me?"

Did you hear the breaking voices? That was the spell getting completely broken. Okay, Changmin liked this new Juyeon. He didn't complain, okay? Bring him back. Please? He closed his eyes as he took down Juyeon's hand from his face. "That's not going to happen."

"Grow up." He finally managed to take a total turn to Juyeon after that. His voice sounded too normal henceforth.

He couldn't believe he said that though. But he did it. And he didn't cry. All the things he was deadly scared for when it comes to Juyeon, became an ordinance all of a sudden. Looked like the old Changmin was gone in the moment they sang their first song in the detention room. He was, the old Changmin was gone. So gone. Long gone. He felt like he was a newborn in that happening.

Juyeon felt like he was going crazy in that moment. He was literally losing his mind. Why was this so hard? He looked up before talking. He was like asking for someone above to give him strength. "No, I don't want to grow up."

"Why would I grow up? I'm still 17. I want to love like a child while I can still."

"One more year before we need to act like adults at college. I don't wanna grow up yet. I want my first love to be childish, stupid and funny. I don't want a fucking rivalry and cat and mouses between me and the boy I have feelings for!"

He wants it to be childish, stupid and funny.

It, his first love.

First love.

Changmin was Juyeon's first love.

Changmin felt like millions of ladybugs were walking down on his spine. Over and over. He felt like he was drunk, but he was more conscious than he could be ever at the same time. Everything turned upside down, for good, for the first time.

He took one last step to have closest distance they could get. "Is it too much?"

Changmin couldn't help but giggle after all of those, shaking his head afterwards. He felt like all the liquids inside his body was gathering around in one place. That one place was his stomach.

Juyeon looked right at Changmin's eyes, that were slightly open because he was still giggling like someone tickled him. "You look so pretty right now."

That was a bullet to right through the heart, in a good way again. Changmin's heart was racing like they were like this for the first time. They probably kissed, hugged, counted stars together, dreamt, laughed, cried and did even further things in this yard for million times. He was sure Juyeon could hear it all too. He didn't feel like words would come out of his mouth properly right now, all he could do was giggling while Juyeon's face was right in front of him.

"Changie." Juyeon said it softly like he did last time.

Changmin just nodded as a response.

"I know I kissed you before we broke up, but I didn't do it right." Juyeon whispered those.

"Can I try again?"

Changmin didn't use his words as a reply once again. He decided to get his face even closer, close his eyes, slowly put his lips between Juyeon's and one of his hands at the back of Juyeon's neck. Juyeon immediately held his small waist after that.

Changmin didn't remember if there was a time kissing Juyeon felt this good. He felt like his lips were constantly melting and freezing again. Juyeon made his grip tighter as he became sure that they were going to keep kissing. How was that possible? To miss a person this much? It was only about 3 days since they fought. It felt like fast forwarded centuries for both.

As they ran out of breath, they had to seperate their lips loudly and slowly. Changmin finally remembered how to talk - since he felt like he totally forgot it. He talked while their lips were still touching, they could still feel each other's steamy breaths right into their faces and still their eyes closed. They were still kissing, just wasn't physically, if that made any sense.  "I love you so much. Please let me keep that."

Changmin caressed Juyeon's hair after saying so. The taller one opened his eyes and looked at Changmin's face. And all he could thought was kissing him again. Over and over. Trying again.

"I'll try more than best to make you keep that."

"Juyeon?"

After hearing his name, Juyeon stopped and looked at the person who called it. "Yeah?"

"Do you know who hung out that threat?"

Juyeon flashed his eyes with a shock on them. "What threat? Wait, a thread?"

Changmin shrugged one of his shoulders to that. Then explained, "The one on the vending machine in the basement."

"There's a vending machine in the basement?"

The blond one raised his hand and shook it for multiple times after hearing so. "Nevermind."

"What did it say?"

Changmin gave a pass for this question. He added before taking a few more steps, "See you tomorrow, Juju."

Then he attached the wrinkled note written with a red ink in the corkboard in Juyeon's big room right before leaving it.

Chapter Text

"Which of you jerks did this?"

Juyeon got out the paper from his backpack in the dressing room after the practice. His eyes was burning like two pieces of coal.

Haknyeon and Sangyeon read the paper and got very confused after. 'Back off the bash! Or else...' "What's this, buddy?"

"A threat, appearently. To the new band. I know it's one of you. Talk." Juyeon looked so angry that his jaw was clenched.

"Yeah, your boyfriend's band." Eric joined while taking off his sweaty jersey quickly. His broad shoulders was making him to barely fit in his plain white t-shirt. 

"So it's you?" Juyeon frowned while saying.

"So you're happy your boyfriend is competing against us?" Eric was getting more and more annoying after his every word.

"Come on Eric, are you scared that they're going to win? As if they have any chance." Sangyeon added but he was lying in broad daylight. The rumors were all over saying their song for Rising Star is just amazing.

"No. I'm scared that he is going to let his boyfriend win! How are you letting this happen, Juyeon?"

Juyeon walked a several steps closer to Eric. They never saw Juyeon this angry before.

"Leave them alone."

Deep down Juyeon was thinking that Eric is right. How is he letting this happen? How come his boyfriend was against him?

No, he talked to the voice inside. His boyfriend was happy doing things for once and that was all mattered. Right? He was a musician way before Juyeon after all. He could do whatever he wants.

"I will, but maybe you shouldn't. I won't lose against a violinist and some losers."

Haknyeon stood between the two. "You're being too much."

"You better be out of this, Hak." Eric responded breathily.

"No, why? I'm also in this band you dickhead, remember?"

Juyeon didn't say anything until he changed to his sweater and walked to the exit. "I'm not losing anything this semester. Not Rising Star, not the finals and not my boyfriend."

"But maybe one of my friends."

***

"How is it going?"

Kevin asked before sitting on the table. Everyone was there. And so the lemonade cans. Looks like they're, like, actually a band now.

It was happening.

"What's going?" Jacob dumbfoundedly asked while biting his apple. 

"The song. That me and Sejin are writing and you guys are gonna compose after. Hello?" Sunwoo explained while violently rolling his big eyes.

"I know, dummy. I thought something happened today too." Jacob murmured.

Sunwoo raised his voice with excitement. "It's a-ma-zing. Trust me. We added a-"

"Looks like something is about to happen." Changmin talked while looking at Sejin in front of Turbo Blast vending machine with... Eric.

"Is that Sejin? Oh no..."

They were fighting.

With a Starstruck member. 

Within only a few days before Rising Star.

Sunwoo and Jacob hurried to the vending machine immediately, then the others followed them. Just like Sangyeon and some cheerleader girls.  Jacob and Changmin was just watching them from far away. They both had their reasons to not get involved. Moreover, Changmin was just praying that Juyeon wasn't there.

''... and now what? Are you stealing our sponsor too?'' 

Eric was just saying shit, just to make his voice heard, Kevin thought before he spoke. Eric was still Eric. Who he was in middle school. Still wanted so be under the spotlight so bad, the talk of the town, the big deal. But that spot was always taken by Juyeon. He was always fading underJuyeon's shadow, and that was what making him this mad. Not them. He needs to be the main character for once, and that was his chance. He wanted to be the hero. The hero that saves Starstruck's reputation that's slowly getting dethroned by the basement rats. 

''What's going on, Eric?'' 

Eric looked so suprised seeing Kevin with them, but that wasn't something to make a deal in that moment. Eric, Kevin and Juyeon used to be so close in middle school and Kevin was originally a member of Starstruck. He was also the reason why Starstruck's songs are always the same. He was the only one in the group who was musically gifted. The others just wanted to jump in Juyeon's popularity train, and well they succeeded. Kevin didn't want that. Years after, they had drawn apart. It was funny to think about the old times, now they were arguing in front of everyone over their own music bands.

''Your newbie friend started it. She's making fun of our sponsor.''

''Oh stop lying! I just wanted to get a drink and you showed up and threatened me! This is your second time.''

''Threatened? Second time? And now she's playing the victim! I haven't even seen you before!''

Sunwoo stood in the front of the crowded group that was watching the fight and spoke up. He was holding a newly opened lemonade can. ''Back off the bash! Is that familiar?''

Eric looked at Sunwoo first, then the girls and crossed his arms. ''I don't know what are you talking about.''

''Kids! Disperse the crowd! What's going on?'' Great. All of a sudden, Mr. Kang was in this. How did he even saw it this quickly?

Maybe he didn't. Maybe there's someone who planned all of this and quickly let him know. There was no logical explanation of attacking Sejin out of nowhere and the cheerleaders literally spawning just before the fight flames up.

And of course, no one listened to him. Actually, the crowd got even bigger after he got involved.

''Mr. Kang! The new girl is trying to sabotage us and our team's new sponsor!''

''What?'' All of them reacted to this at the same time, except Sunwoo. Because he was busy with filling his mouth full of lemonade in the back.

Without sipping it, he just walked to the front again and looked at Eric's plain white shirt. And in a blink, the lemonade in his mouth was all over Eric's shirt. In front of the whole school.

''Sunwoo!'' Changmin and Mr. Kang yelled at the same time. Changmin just wanted to disappear into thin air. His heart just skipped a beat after seeing that.

''You fu-'' Eric shouted in shock but stopped in no time, remembering Mr. Kang and some other teachers was there. Mr. Kang's chubby face reddened with anger.

''All of you. To my room.''

***

''Sunwoo! Are you crazy?'' Sejin was the first one to ask this as soon as they arrived to detention, althrough everyone wanted to do it. Sejin wasn't actually mad, because that was a great way to make everyone know them before the competiton. Winning against them was the only thing she minded now. Ride or die.

''What? That was the only way to shut that bastard up.''

''Not in front of the whole school! And a week before the competition!'' Changmin yelled as he enters the room as the last, closing the door. Their shelter. 

Kevin was smirking secretly at the back, opening a can of lemonade. ''It was genius, not gonna lie.''

This was probably the first time that Kevin was approving Sunwoo. He was just hoping that this wasn't the last. 

''Guys, calm down. At least we got to practice earlier today.'' Kevin stopped for a moment to get a sip of his lemonade. After the sourness faded, he continued.

''The soccer finals are just after Rising Star. No one is going to remember this.''

Changmin sighed very loudly while sitting to his desk. He didn't care about getting detention anymore or what the others thought, including Mr. Kang. He was just thinking about how he was going to explain this to Juyeon. And, where was he all this time today? 

Suprisingly, the silence was broken by Jacob this time. ''Well, now this is giving us our name then.''

''Lemonade Mouth.''

Chapter Text

Sejin opened the door as she heard an unexpected knock. It was noon and the boys said they'd come after 5 pm. But here Sunwoo was.

"Hi. I know it's early but I was passing by." He said with a big smile on his face.

Sejin was wearing an old oversized dress and her hair was in a messy bun. Nothing different or unusual but a little... minimal for her? Would it be a right wording?

"Is it okay?" Sunwoo asked in a soft voice, prior to not getting an answer. Sejin was still a bit suprised. She couldn't complain though. Just couldn't put her mind in the place after the fight with his dad.

"Why not, silly? Come in." She said with a little smile.

"We can sit in the backyard." Sejin leaded him. And she noticed a paper bag in Sunwoo's hand meanwhile.

Sunwoo answered while walking with her in the aisle. What a big but casual house it is. Something about big houses just don't feel like home for Sunwoo. This one wasn't like that. It looked cozy and comfortable. "Oh, I almost forgot. I got milkshakes for us."

"No lemonade this time? I'm disappointed." She said in a very sassy voice before she opened the back door to the yard.

Sunwoo laughed to that before sitting on one of the swing chairs in the yard. He opened the packed and gave it to Sejin.

"How did you know that I like choco flavor?"

Sunwoo shrugged as if it wasn't just a lucky guess. "My spider senses told me."

"Oh yeah? What else it says?"

Sunwoo stopped to think just for a short moment. "Hmm... It says you're not feeling well."

"They're correct." Sejin talked in a voice that's close to a whisper, then took a little sip. The flavor wasn't bursting at all - which is good because otherwise it'd be too sweet for her. The standarts were high when it comes to milkshake. I should ask the name of the place, she thought. She was still a newbie in town. She didn't get the chance to walk around because all the chaos in school and the house was tiring her down already.

"What happened?" Sunwoo took the pillow on his back and placed it in his lap, then put his elbows on it.

"Family drama." Sejin shortly explained.

Before Sunwoo got the chance to ask, she talked about it furthermore. "I talked about the band to my family to tell that you guys will come over."

"And what? Are they like, you shouldn't waste your time in nonsense like this?"

"It's weird to say but I wish they were." She sighed and kept on talking on a soft voice. The warm wind was flying her hair.

"They simply... don't care. They're so busy with their science work and..." They both took a sip in between her words.

"In their spare time, they just fight. That's how they communicate at some point."

Sunwoo smacked his lips together. He knew how this felt like. Not like the exact feeling, but he knew how it felt like not being a family. Being fallen apart, getting suffocated by how it feels so lonely in a full house. 

Seeing how Sunwoo's face dropped, Sejin tapped his shoulder lightly. It was devastating to see him like that. He was always summer. Always blooming, always sunny. It was hard to believe he could get sad too. 

"I'm sorry if it was too dark."

Sunwoo put on a painfully bittersweet smile. "Don't be. I just tend to remember my brother a lot these days, don't know why."

"What happened to him?" Sejin very geniunely asked.

Sunwoo was fighting so hard to not shed tears. His bottom lip was shaking. "He passed away."

"Sunwoo, I-"

"Let's see what we worked on, shall we?''

''Yeah, of course.''

-

''So this is the beginning of the song.'' Sejin pulled out a paper from her backpack  - which she might were too harsh - and put it on the desk. She looked very proud of her work and that was more than enough for Sunwoo. All he wanted was everyone to keep excited and ready while Rising Star was counting days. Even if they won't win, he wanted to prove that he can put on something good too. Like his brother. Something to remember, something impactful. Something worth doing.

Like Sejin said, somehow, some way and someday.

While Sunwoo was drowning in his thoughts, Sejin started to sing the song she wrote.

Trying hard to fight these tears

I'm crazy worried

Messing with my head , this fear

I'm so sorry

Sunwoo read the lyrics and tried to sing along with her, while having absolutely no chance of having a voice as good as hers. And that was the last thing Sejin could mind. It was a moment.

You know you gotta get it out

I can't take it

That's what being friends about

After that part finished, they both stopped like they knew the other would. Sejin slowly turned her head and found Sunwoo looking at her either. Smiling, very dumbfoundedly. As soon as Sejin felt the blood rushing through her cheeks in an ultimate speed, she tried to look at somewhere else in the big old yard. Cleaning her throat, she said: ''This part starts really slow. What about suddenly changing the beat? Wouldn't it be unexcepted?''

''In a way Mr. Kang would definitely dislike and everyone else will love?'' Sunwoo answered in a very exaggerated tone.

Sejin laughed to that. ''Yeah, in a way like that.''

''Genius then.'' Sunwoo very surely said as he was reading the remaining parts of the song and already getting ideas. 

-

Can we talk?

Changmin confusedly looked at the text he recieved from Haknyeon after taking a break from studying. Never have Haknyeon ever texted Chagmin before. He was a face to face person.

Urgent.

I can call?

No. Meet me at the parking lot near your house.

Knew it.

I can't.

Won't take long.  I'm waiting.

Guess I have no choice, Changmin thought. And he never wanted to not to have a conversation this bad. He knew it's only and only about Juyeon. He couldn't even talk about it to himself, how was he supposed to talk about it someone else? 

He took a deep breath and got his backpack. Since he has to hide it, Jacob said he could take his new bass and bring it. He checked if his mother was back home on his room's door. After making it sure, he quickly went downstairs and left the house. 

He wasn't ready for this. Like, at all.

After taking just a 3 minute walk, Changmin immediately saw Haknyeon sitting on the pavement. Changmin was relieved to also seeing him nervous. Weird thing to say, though.

''Hi.'' Haknyeon saw Changmin even before he got close and got a chance to say something.

''Hi. What's up? Like, really.''

Haknyeon bitterly smiled to this. ''Juyeon. And it's down rather than up.''

''Knew it.'' Changmin said it twice, this time vocally. His heart pounded for a short moment after hearing his name. Idiot. A big, gigantic idiot. Greatest of all time.

''Going to practice?'' Haknyeon asked while Changmin was sitting next to him on the pavement. And got out a cig from his pocket.

''Since when you're smoking?'' Changmin frowned. 

''A while?'' Haknyeon tried to avoid talking about it.

''And yes, I am.'' Changmin kept talking after getting a little further from the smoke. Haknyeon was like, huh. I know, Changmin thought. I know. Huh.

''So why are we here?'' 

''Juyeon is acting crazy. He messes up all the songs, probably on purpose. Also he doesn't even show up on things unless I call him and tell that everyone is waiting for him.''

''So I'm to blame, you're saying?'' Changmin rolled his eyes.

''No, it's Eric.''

Changmin seemed confused. How is he a problem to Eric? They barely even talk. Changmin had no idea what was going on. ''How so?''

''I said Juyeon is acting crazy, right?''

''Yeah?''

''Well, Eric is acting delusional. He's gassing up Juyeon about you and your band 24/7. And the thing is, he believes Eric."

"Like what?" Changmin felt like a gallon of boiling water was spilling down to his spine. He would never thought something like this would happen. As if the one's happening wasn't enough.

"That you're trying to take a revenge with your band, you're going to break up with him after Rising Star and humiliate him in front of whole school. Or you think you're better and can't stand him competing with him. Want me to continue?"

"First of all, it's Lemonade Mouth. Second is, yeah. I'm trying to break up with him but I'm a coward." Changmin tried to arise his voice but it was just getting lower and lower as he talked. Pathetically. But he was furious. Just not fast.

Haknyeon was so suprised by what he just heard that he wouldn't even mind to say how horrible of an idea naming the band Lemonade Mouth. Nonetheless, it would get them into trouble in Rising Star. 

"You are? Why?" Haknyeon sound frightened. It was like... they were forever and it's impossible for them to break up. 

"I feel like I can never get loved as much as I love him. His popularity is always one step above me and I'm slowly blending into it. I'm just the popular guy's cute boyfriend."

"Or the reason the girls say 'Too bad he's gay.'"

Haknyeon hit his shoulder after hearing the last one. "Oh come on! You can't be thinking that! Why are you putting yourself so down?"

"He might be Juyeon but you're Changmin." Haknyeon said it geniunely, that felt easily. He was sad and mad that Juyeon was making him think like that. Haknyeon couldn't help but wonder how Juyeon treats him. It was hard for him too because eventually he needs to pick a side. Either he would lose a very good friend or another very good friend and a band he put his everything into.

And this wasn't a choice to make. A wait and see, but make it a maze. Every deadend, every wrong path that isn't leading to the exit hides another bad scenario. Haknyeon was in the middle of there. So was Changmin.

"Leave me be Hak, please. What I'm doing is only about me. Just know that."

Haknyeon smiled, felt like there wasn't anything else to do. "I do."

"And I will try my best to let everyone know that." Haknyeon whispered this before opening his arms for a hug.

And Changmin just couldn't resist it. They hugged for just a couple seconds, but nothing felt this good for a long while. It was just pure. No conditions, no exceptations. Just a pure bond and care that nobody seem to think it's worth to give to Changmin.

"And about the break up situation..."

"Hak-" Haknyeon didn't let Changmin speak.

"Do whatever makes you feel good."

Changmin shook his head with a little smile to that. And Haknyeon wish he couldn't read into his emotions so well seeing that smile.

"Good luck at Rising Star."

Chapter Text

“Can’t believe tomorrow’s Halloween.”

“And Rising Star is next week.”

Changmin paused at the top of the stairs, leading to the basement. The conversation was like a reality check for him. As if all of it wasn’t too much, Sejin and Sunwoo somehow managed to secure a place at school’s big, big Halloween party’s stage. Just before... Starstruck. Now they’re “stealing” the show, don’t they?

Come to think of it, this could be even more overwhelming than Rising Star. This year was going to be the first time that the teachers are also attending. So that means Mr. Kang too. He was going to find about Lemonade Mouth and there’s no doubt he won’t be so happy about it. They are stealing the “boys”’ show, they are the rebels.

And the most importantly, they’re not making him money.

“Oh, come on Changmin!” Sejin said in a tired voice. She was so done with trying to convince everyone as if this only matters for her. It’s not only on their name, after all. It’s not only on their next 2 years. It’s on their whole future. And knowing how things are for Changmin, she was more than sure that Changmin should be the one who’s the most raged and ambitious about this.

“We’re all anxious about this. And we know things are complicated for you.”

“We’re dying from anxiety is a wiser word choice.” Jacob added after Sejin.

Changmin just let out a sigh and decided to agree. They were right. No one was head over heels about what was going to happen after the party. They didn’t even know if they would be able to play at anywhere else after the party.

But now, this was a movement for all the outcasts. It was bigger than just them and everyone in this floor knows that and hopes for something to change after that. They couldn’t just let it go like that.

Walking down the long and dim lighted hallway, Sunwoo cut down the silence. “I know our remedy.”

Everyone in the group answered to that. “Lemonade!”

Just the word was enough to cheer every single of them up. The strongness wasn’t just the sour taste of it. It was friendship, it was courage and it was unity. It was a reminder to enjoy the moment.

The happiness lasted only until they saw the sign on the vending machine.

Out of service – Scheduled for removal

It was like every single part that makes them who they are... just taking away from them. They’re now fighting to be. Just to be a part of something, just to get known. To be somebody.

Without hesitation, Sejin took the sign and rushed to school’s secretary. Kevin catched up with her and came after.

The middle aged, box dyed ginger woman didn’t even see them entering.

Sejin showed the sign and talked in a tough voice – or at least tried. “Can we know why the lemonade machine at the basement is getting removed?”

“There’s a lemonade machine at the basement?” The woman asked while being still on her phone and scrolling down.

“Yeah?” Kevin stepped to the front looking very annoyed, but still tried to keep polite.

He cleared his throat. “I mean, we were just curious if it needs to be fixed or...”

The woman finally put down her phone and checked out some things from her computer. “Ah yeah. About that. That thing should’ve been gone a long time ago.”

“According to our new sponsorship agreement-“

Sejin didn’t even listened the second half of the sentence and went out of the room with the sign, yelling.

“This is bullshit!”

“Just let it go, girl. I know what it means for you-“ Kevin hold her arm and tried to calm her down.

“You? Aren’t you a part of this? Why do everybody act like they’re doing me a favor by playing in the band?”

Oh. That clearly didn’t work, Kevin thought.

They were so caught up arguing in front of the office that they didn’t see Mr. Kang was right after them.

“Good morning, children.”

The way you could hear the undertone after his every word was unmatchable.

-

After school, Changmin was waiting for Sunwoo so they could walk home together – just to meet for practice after some hours. Sunwoo was the only one who doesn’t stress the fuck out of Changmin about this whole thing and also doesn’t talk about Juyeon or stuff. Only if Changmin knew how big the bulk of sadness Sunwoo was hiding under those playful words and smiles, though.

Chagmin took off his heavy backpack and decided to put it to the blue couch next to him. Blue, like everything else in this school. Was it always this overwhelming? He was so tired already and they got a big practice sessiom for today. Time was ticking.

Then all of a sudden, Eric appeared in the wide, half dark hallway. He almost seemed like he was looking for Changmin. But that made no sense, didn’t it? Why on the earth Eric would want to talk to Changmin? Contrariwise, he must’ve hated him or something.

“Hey, Changmin! What’s up?”

Changmin was getting suprised each second. Eric was extremely cheerful to see him. And Changmin sounded like someone was carving his mouth with pinchers. Usually it would’ve been the other way around. When everything was perfect.

“Tired. What brings you here? Aren’t you supposed to-“

“Yeah, I do in our new condition room. It’s so cool!”

“Yeah but-“

This weird interruption session was getting annoying. Why was Eric acting like that? Like, even more annoying than usual?

“Come on, you should check it out!”

And even before Changmin could get a fix on what Eric was on, he found himself getting pulled out to the end of the corridor by Eric.

Eric opened the big door for Changmin. “See? Mr. Kang is the best principal ever!”

And he just disappeared like that, leaving Changmin on the crime scene. All he could see was Juyeon in thr middle of the room, with a cheerleader girl’s hands all over him. He just stood frozen like that at the door. Like, wasn’t it already over for him? Why was he feeling this frustated? Betrayed? All of his feelings were washing off the shore.

He couldn’t stand watching this nonsense. Before he got to step out, Juyeon finally noticed him. His eyes were flaming with anger, but Changmin didn’t see that.

“Changie, wait!”

Changmin was already rushing off to the stairs, he didn’t want to listen any of it.

Juyeon got stopped by a hand behind his back. “Let him go, bro. He made up his mind.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

-

It was the moment that Changmin knew. Knew that he’ll rock this whole fucking stage off. He got to do it. No hesitations, no doubt, no fear. No going back, from now on. They need to demolish this stupid competition.

Chapter Text

“Before you do something crazy, this is your reminder that tomorrow’s Halloween and...” Sunwoo said while trying to open the not very used garage gate. Nobody touched there after his brother passed out, since this was his favorite place in the house. Getting into hobbies that won’t last a week. They talked about the situation all the way long and that got Changmin thinking, maybe Sunwoo isn’t the person to talk about this since he has a heating hatred towards every single person on school’s team – including the cheerleaders, the mascot, everyone. You breathed school’s football field air by accident? Then Sunwoo hates you too.

Changmin spoke as he cluelessly watched Sunwoo and Sunwoo didn’t really look like he had a grasp on what he was doing too. “And he’s playing too. And everyone will be watching, including Mr. Kang. I know.”

“I was about to say he’s playing with those dickheads, but... Yeah.”

Changmin gave that a side eye. He could at least exclude Haknyeon from this narrative. Speaking of it, where was he? Halloween was like, his thing. He always got the coolest costume. He was the good type of party stopper. But come to think of it, maybe he isn’t the person Changmin makes him to be. He still hangs out with them after all.

Then he remembered the conversation in the parking lot and he decided to overthink about this a little later. As Sunwoo was just wishing his brother could be here to take care of this stupid old gate, Changmin interrupted his thoughts and loud effort. “Don’t be so rude.”

Sunwoo put a very exaggeratedly disgust on his voice. “Why? Don’t you tell me you still got feelings for that douchebag. He’s chea-“

And the gate finally opened after it took Sunwoo an All Too Well. Changmin also answered with a loud voice. “No! And that wasn’t the reason. Haknyeon is my friend after all.”

“Yeah, the friend who didn’t tell you your boyfriend’s a cheater.”

Changmin felt like a lightning struck in his brain after hearing that. He shook his head and in awe he said, “You’re fucking right.”

“Slow.” Sunwoo raised his eyebrows and said it with puffy cheeks. He looked funny but Changmin didn’t have a string of energy to laugh at that or be mad at his teasings. He kind of earned it this time.

Then he got serious all of a sudden. Last thing Sunwoo would want was to Changmin to get hurt – especially if that hurt was coming from these piece of trashes. “I get it you were blinded but there’s no need to trying to get a relationship back alive when it’s buried deep down already.”

“What can I do Sunwoo? He’s in every moment of my life. And he’ll continue doing so.”

Sunwoo was looking for his drumsticks while having this conversation. While it was this casual for him, Changmin was getting crumbled into pieces. He just sat in the cold garage floor. “So are you for him. Make him regret and make him remember.”

“Just do it after tomorrow though.”

Chapter Text

“Changmin!”

“Changmin, where are you?”

“Changmin!”

“We got 10 minutes Changmin!”

“Ji fucking Changmin!”

“Guys-“ Chanhee stopped when he saw Lemonade Mouth in the dark backstage. Chanhee was as worried as them, and it was suprising for them to see him worried as well. Every single of them was panicking the hell out of them. Like, it’s normal for someone who’s going to perform for the first time, but this one looked different.

Oh no.

“It better be good news, blue head.” Sejin talked and raised her hand to reach her hair but remembered it’s all sprayed up.

“It’s not! Eric and Sangyeon messed up the sound equipments.”

Sejin got angry to that Chanhee let anyone near the equipments, but there was no time to argue. “Perfect! As if we have no other problem!”

“What’s wrong?”

“We can’t find Changmin anywhere!”

“Changmin? I saw him rushing to the restrooms. He looked really nauseous.”

Sejin hit Chanhee’s shoulder before she ran to the restrooms. “You’re telling this now?”

Sunwoo was the first one to enter, but seemed like there wasn’t somebody. “Changmin!”

“Changmin!” He started knocking every door until he heard an answer.

“Sunwoo?”

Sunwoo got really relieved after finally hearing Changmin’s voice.

“Changmin! We got 8 minutes left!” It was Kevin taking before Sunwoo get to say anything.

“I know but I feel like shit. I’m gonna throw up.”

“Buddy, we all do.”

“I don’t!” Sejin stepped out and yelled from the enterance of the male’s restroom. People were coming in and looking at Sejin for standing there, looking inside. But Sejin didn’t have a single care about that.

“Shut up Sejin!” Jacob yelled back to her.

“Guys, leave it to me.” Everyone listened to Sunwoo – for once and moved aside to the sinks.

Sunwoo knocked again while they were at it. In a soft voice he said, “Changmin, just make it for 10 minutes okay? We can’t do it without you.”

“No, you can. It’s bass. You’ll be good.”

“Maybe they would, but I won’t. I don’t wanna do it without you.”

“Sunwoo, you’re the sweetest but-“ He paused for a second to hold back himself to prevent throwing up. He kept talking with facing to the ceiling.

“I seriously can’t.”

The flashing lights, the cameras, everyone in the school looking at him... What if he saw Juyeon in the crowd? How do him keep his cool after seeing him? He just... can’t.

Why couldn’t this happen after tonight?

Jacob looked at his watch and broke the silence. “Guys, 5 minutes.”

Everyone was holding their breath.

“Okay, I’m coming in.” Sejin couldn’t resist and stepped inside. No one else was there, so she just slid in like that. Even if there was, Sejin wouldn’t hesitate though.

This stage needed to happen. Everyone should know about them and what they’re capable of before Rising Star.

“Changmin...”

She paused for a moment to grab a can of lemonade from her belt bag.

“Hand it to him, you giants.” She handed it to Kevin and he handed him to Changmin from the upper part of the door.

Changmin didn’t said anything but took it. Then Kevin looked at Sejin’s lemonade belt. “You did this?”

“Cool, isn’t it?”

3 minutes. Sunwoo could swear that his hands were slowly turning into ice.

Then they heard a can opening sound. And that felt like the prettiest sound they’ve ever heard.

Changmin took a big sip and let the sourness kick in. He almost felt it in his whole body. The perfect harmony of sour and sweet made its way to his stomach and he suddenly felt a big relief. He was still nervous and full of stress, but at least he wasn’t feeling like his body is going to explode.

Then he decided to do what it takes as Sunwoo’s words from yesterday started crossing his mind one by one. Whatever’s going to happen, it was going to happen either way. Tonight or tomorrow. At this stage or at Rising Star. He had to face him somehow.

Better face him by showing who Ji Changmin is.

He gave his hair a quick fix and unlocked the door.

“Let’s go.”

-

That’s it. That was the moment.

The moment they practiced every day until today. The moment they were all waiting for, getting sleepless for, being excited for, being scared for.

Lights down. Microphones on – hopefully.

The spotlight sliced through the smoky haze, catching Changmin in its unforgiving glare. His fingers trembled on the bass, ungewohnt and heavy compared to the familiar violin. He stole a glance at the crowd, a churning sea of costumes and anticipation. Somewhere in that mass, amidst the flashing lights and cackling laughter, was Juyeon. The thought sent a fresh wave of jitters through him.

Sunwoo double checked everyone for a good last time and got eye to eye with Changmin first. Then realized Sejin was also looking at him. The only difference was, Changmin was looking for comfort. But Sejin had a reassuring, warm smile. She was giving the comfort. Sunwoo felt like he could do anything after that smile.

Sejin gave both of them a thumbs up and mouthed, “We got this guys.”

I hope I do, Changmin thought. That was everything he could wish for.

Then Sunwoo clicked his sticks together. Three, two... One.

Trying hard to fight these tears

I’m crazy worried

Messing with my head this fear

I’m so sorry

You know you gotta get it out

I can’t take it

That’s what being friends is about

As Sejin beautifully sang these lyrics, everyone in the crowd seem suprised and kind of bored by how downbeat this song was. Wasn’t this supposed to be a fun party song?

Then the beat dropped.

I, I want to cry

I can’t deny

Tonight I wanna up and hide

And get inside

It isn’t right

I gotta live in my life

I know I, I know I

I know I gotta do it

I know I, I know I

I know I gotta do it

Now the party was finally starting. Everyone started to dance like they were waiting fot yhis moment for their entire life. Sunwoo and Sejin really knows what they’re doing, Changmin thought as he were trying to not eye anybody in the crowd. It was getting harder though – as everyone started to dance. Even the teachers. Maybe this wasn’t that bad.

No, this was really good.

Gotta turn the world into your dance floor

Determinate, determinate

Push until you can’t and then demand more

Determinate, determinate

You and me together, we can make it better

Gotta turn the world into your dance floor

Determinate, determinate

Hate to feel this way

And waste a day

I gotta get myself on stage

I shouldn’t wait or be afraid

The chips will fall where they may

I know I, I know I

I know I gotta do it

I know I, I know I

I know I gotta do it

Gotta turn the world into your dance floor

Determinate, determinate

Push until you can’t and then demand more

Determinate, determinate

You and me together, we can make it better

Gotta turn the world into your dance floor

Determinate, determinate

Eric folded his arms, glowering at the crowd as their cheers escalated with each fiery beat of Lemonade Mouth’s song. Their catchy melody, once dismissed as amateur drivel, was now swirling through the hall with infectious energy. He saw his friends, usually glued to their phones, bouncing along, lost in the music. A knot of irritation tightened in his gut.

Beside him, Juyeon stood silent, his attention locked on the stage. Changmin, that Juyeon didn’t even know he was able to play bass, was radiating confidence as he grooved on the bass. The music seemed to flow through him, his expression alive with something Eric envied. The rest of the band, equally transformed, pulsed with a contagious energy that ignited the crowd.

Juyeon’s lips remained in a thin line, but a flicker of something passed through his eyes – maybe surprise, maybe admiration. Then, a shadow of regret crossed his face, wishing he were with him all this time instead of knowing this at the same time with everyone else in this room. Eric caught it, the realization that their falling out had cost them something valuable, something Juyeon now seemed to yearn for.

“Looks like we have some competition for Rising Star this year,” Eric remarked, his tone tight. He didn’t like this at all. This is bullshit, he thought. Why the hell Juyeon’s boyfriend was competing against them? And why was he letting him? He wished that he could shut everyone up. The cheers were getting louder in his head. No. He won’t let them win. Those fucking losers won’t take up their title.

Juyeon nodded slowly. “They’re amazing,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. He cast a hesitant smile towards the stage, hoping Changmin might catch it. But Changmin, eyes closed, was lost in the music, his world confined to the pulsating rhythm and the cheering crowd. Juyeon’s smile faltered, a pang of loneliness replacing the admiration.

Eric saw it all – the longing, the regret, the yearning for a connection he’d carelessly severed. A small, unexpected seed of empathy sprouted within him.

 Sunwoo came to the front for his rap verse before the song ended and the glory and hype faded away.

It’s Woo and I’m heaven-sent

Use it like a veteran

Renegade, lemonade, music is my medicine

Go ahead and try to name a band we ain’t better than

Reason why the whole world’s picking us instead of them

People need a breather cause they’re feeling the adrenaline

Stop! Now hurry up and let us in. Knock!

Cause we’re coming to your house (and)

People keep on smiling with lemons in their mouth

I’m the real deal, you know how I feel

Why they in it for the mil I’m just in it for the thrill

Get down now I ain’t playin’ around put your feet up from the ground

And just make that sound what

Sunwoo’s voice ripped through the music, raw and unapologetic. His lyrics, a scathing commentary on school politics and teenage angst, sent shockwaves through the audience. Some teachers, their faces pinched in disapproval, exchanged hushed whispers. But the students roared, their voices echoing their shared frustrations. The song became a defiant anthem, uniting them under the pulsating beat.

Gotta turn the world into your dance floor

Determinate, determinate

Push until you can't and then demand more

Determinate, determinate

You and me together, we can make it better

Gotta turn the world into your dance floor

Determinate, determinate

Come on and, come on and

Come on and get it going

Come on and, come on and

Come on and get it going

On the dance floor

On the dance floor

Dance floor

Determinate

As the final chord ripped through the air, Changmin felt the applause wash over him like a tidal wave. The roar of the crowd, so intimidating moments ago, now buzzed with an exhilarating energy. He grinned, sweat slicking his forehead, the bass still rumbling against his chest. They’d done it. They’d poured their hearts out, unleashed their music, and the school had responded.

A cool breeze snaked through the stage lights, momentarily chilling his skin. But rather than a shiver, it sparked a sense of liberation. Juyeon wasn’t in the crowd, hadn’t witnessed his performance. At least that was what Changmin saw from the high stage. And suddenly, it didn’t matter. No longing, no resentment, just a clean slate of accomplishment. This wasn’t about proving himself to Juyeon, not anymore. This was about him, the music, the band, and the shared passion that pulsed between them.

Looking back at Sunwoo, and everyone else in the band, he saw mirrored grins, relief painting their faces. They had faced their anxieties, navigated the unfamiliar territory of a new instrument, and emerged stronger. The approval of the school, once a distant dream, now hung thick in the air, sweet and satisfying.

Teachers, usually never cared about students like them, exchanged surprised glances. Heads bobbed, feet tapped, an unspoken appreciation replacing their usual disapproval. Even Mr. Kang, principal of strict renown, offered a hesitant nod, a flicker of a smile tugging at his lips.

Sejin looked at her bandmates and mouthed, “We did it.”

And everyone agreed. They did it, god damn! The school loved them. All of their fear vanished in the thin air. They did it.

And they’re going to do it again at Rising Star.

When the applause finally stopped, Sejin stepped to the front, with taking out her microphone from its stand. She glared at every single of her friends for one last time before talking, like she was making sure they’re still approving.

“Thank you guys. Thank you so much.”

Then she stopped for a while, bent down and buckled her lemonade belt back again. Everyone was waiting for another song, still feeling the rush of adrenaline and enjoyment.

“Now if you care to listen, I want to bring something up that we believe everyone would be interested.”

Between the rising applause and cheers, Sejin faced to Sunwoo.

“Our subject is...”

Everyone got silent.

“Drums please.”

Sunwoo’s drumroll went back and forth on the big hall.

“Lemonade.”

Chapter Text

Sejin took one more step, now she was almost hanging out of the stage. The crowd came closer, as if they were going to share a secret. She bent over the amplifier as she kept talking.

“Our lemonade machine in the basement is going to get taken away to replace with a new one that’s provided by our sponsor. In this school, some students get treated as if they are more important than the others. Or investing in sports is more important than investing in arts. Or school’s newspaper… Or some of us.”

As the applauses arised – just not as loud before, Mr. Kang was rushing to the music teacher. How on the earth she let this happen? Or why did she informed him about this nonsense? The fury was fueling up his body as the speech continued.

In the meantime, other members of Lemonade Mouth was handing over the lemonade cans to the crowd. Everyone was changing the boring punch with this tasty lemonade. Everyone was surprised by its taste. Nobody knew about this lemonade machine in the basement.

“We all deserve to get treated equally. Because ladies and gentlemen…”

“We are all important!”

Be heard, be strong, be proud

I wanna make some noise

Stand up, come on, be loud

We’re gonna raise our voice

Come on, come on, come on

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

Hey, now

We no longer wait around

My team’s stronger like weights now

Keeps on growing

Our muscle keeps on showing

We came here to make a change

We came here to rearrange

We came here ‘cause we believe

We came here ‘cause we achieve, yeah

While I’ve got the microphone

Make sure how I feel is known

All for one we rock the zone

How I feel to each his own

All my people treat em right

We reserve the right to fight

For what we want, for what we need

To the front we shall proceed

Here we come and we’re ready to

Go, go, go

You better run ‘cause we don’t take

No, no, no

So come on

Be heard, be strong, be proud

I wanna make some noise

Stand up, come on, be loud

We’re gonna raise our voice

Come on, come on, come on

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

We’re motivated (motivated)

We’re aggravated (aggravated)

We’re dedicated

So now you better play fair

Determination (and) will power

No consideration

We will devour

We’re on our own

But we are one

So, like a shoulder

We’ll fight until we see the sun

It’s just a matter of time

Before you see our way

We fight with all of our lives

We do this everyday

Here we come and we’re ready to

Go, go, go

You better run ‘cause we don’t take

No, no, no

So come on

Be heard, be strong, be proud

I wanna make some noise

Stand up, come on, be loud

We’re gonna raise our voice

Come on, come on, come on

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

Be heard, be strong, be proud

I wanna make some noise

Stand up, come on, be loud

We’re gonna raise our voice

Come on, come on, come on

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

Yeah

I said we’re tired of this

We’re going to stand up

For what we believe in

We might be on our own

But we are one

Everybody ready

Come on

Let’s go

Be heard, be strong, be proud

I wanna make some noise

Stand up, come on, be loud

We’re gonna raise our voice

Come on, come on, come on

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

Be heard, be strong, be proud

I wanna make some noise

Stand up, come on, be loud

We’re gonna raise our voice

Come on, come on, come on

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

You gotta hear me now

The silence after the abrupt cut echoed louder than any applause they’d imagined. Lemonade Mouth stood frozen, instruments still raised, mics hanging mute. Mr. Kang, his face thunderous under the stage lights, had just silenced their song, their anthem, mid-verse. Their frustration was a physical thing, a knot of rage tightening in each chest.

Sejin, ever the firebrand, was the first to react. “Are you kidding me?” she spat, voice shaking with fury. “We weren’t even-“

“I want all of you in my room, after lunch tomorrow.” Mr. Kang cut her off, his voice dripping with disdain. “And consider this a warning. Stick to harmless little love songs next time.”

Harmless? Their song, raw and unapologetic, spoke of the crushing pressure of standardized tests, the hypocrisy of school rules, the voicelessness of students. It wasn’t a love song; it was a battle cry, and Mr. Kang had just squashed it like a bug.

As they slunk off the stage, the crowd’s initial stunned silence broke into a wave of boos and murmurs of protest. Some teachers exchanged nervous glances, but most averted their eyes, unwilling to challenge the authority figure. The disappointment on the faces of their classmates, however, was a balm to their bruised spirits.

Backstage, the tension crackled. Sunwoo slammed his drumsticks down, the sound echoing their shared anger. “He can’t do that!” he yelled.

“He just did,” Jacob said, his voice tight. “We practiced for weeks-“

“Doesn’t matter,” Kevin cut in, her eyes flashing. “He doesn’t like the truth being sung about his precious school.”

Changmin, usually quiet, felt a fire rise within him. His fingers, itching to play, were balled into fists. This wasn’t just about their song; it was about their voice, their right to be heard. He wouldn’t be silenced.

The next day, the school buzzed with the aftermath. The cut-short performance, once witnessed by a select few, was now school-wide gossip. Students huddled in corners, whispering about the “censored band” and the song that spoke their unspoken frustrations. Even teachers, in hushed tones, acknowledged the song’s power.

Lemonade Mouth wasn’t punished into silence. Mr. Kang’s attempt backfired spectacularly. What he’d intended as a deterrent became a badge of honor. Suddenly, the band that used to practice in the dusty basement were heroes, rebels with a cause.

Students started leaving notes in their lockers, scrawled messages of support like “Sing it loud!” and “Don’t let them silence you!” During lunch, a group of kids, usually considered “basement rats” themselves, approached them hesitantly.

“We loved your song,” one of them mumbled, shoving a crumpled piece of paper into Sejin’s hand. “It’s, like, exactly how we feel.”

The paper unfolded to reveal a song lyric: “You can lock us in, but you can’t lock out our sound.” A smile, genuine and hopeful, blossomed on Sejin’s face.

Mr. Kang might have tried to silence them, but he’d only amplified their voice. Lemonade Mouth, the band born in the basement, was now the voice of a generation, united by the music that refused to be silenced. And they wouldn’t stop singing, not until their voices echoed through the halls, loud and clear, a song of defiance against all who tried to dim their light.

After the lunch, Mr. Kang’s office hummed with tension, the silence thicker than any sheet music. Lemonade Mouth stood before him, faces etched with defiance beneath the harsh fluorescent lights. He cleared his throat, the sound cutting through the air like a knife.

“Your performance last night…” he began, voice dripping with disapproval, “was a blatant disregard for school regulations and an insult to this institution. I expected better from all of you, especially you, Changmin.”

His gaze settled on Changmin, pinning him like an insect under a microscope. “You, with your top grades and unwavering dedication. This rebellion, this…noise you call music, is it worth tarnishing your future for?”

Changmin felt a familiar knot of anxiety tighten in his stomach. His father, a staunch believer in authority, would not take kindly to Mr. Kang’s disapproval. But the sting of injustice, the power of their music, outweighed the fear. He held Mr. Kang’s gaze, unwavering.

Shifting his focus, Mr. Kang fixed Sejin with a practiced smile, though it failed to reach his eyes. “Sejin, as a new student, I expected you to adjust, to follow the established order. You had such a promising record in your previous school. What happened to that responsible young woman?”

Sejin met his smile with a smirk. “She learned to speak her truth, Mr. Kang,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Even if it makes powerful men uncomfortable.”

His smile vanished, replaced by a frown. He turned to Sunwoo, his tone hardening. “And you, Sunwoo. Your brother, a shining example of excellence, would be appalled by this display. Have you no respect for his memory?”

Sunwoo swallowed the anger that threatened to spill over. His brother, unlike Mr. Kang, had embraced his passion, seen his potential. The memory of his brother’s encouraging smile fueled his defiance. “My brother would be proud,” he said, his voice low but firm. “Proud of me using my voice, unlike some people who use theirs to silence others.”

Mr. Kang’s face flushed red. He leaned closer to Changmin, voice low and menacing. “Listen carefully, Changmin. Your father holds me in high regard. One more misstep, one more rebellious note, and I won’t hesitate to inform him of your involvement. His disappointment will be quite…instructive.”

Changmin’s jaw clenched, but he stood his ground. The threat stung, but it wouldn’t break him.

“So listen closely,” Mr. Kang continued, his voice hardening again. “Lemonade Mouth is dismissed. No school instruments, no practice spaces. One note, one chord, and you’re all suspended. And let me warn you, introducing yourselves ‘Lemonade Mouth’ in this school will be seen as provocative behavior. Understood?”

Their silence spoke volumes. Mr. Kang stormed out, leaving them bathed in the aftermath of his threats. But there was no fear in their eyes, only a steely resolve.

As they walked out of the office, whispers and curious glances followed them. But there were smiles too, nods of encouragement exchanged between students. They weren’t alone. Their music had resonated, sparked a flame of rebellion in the hearts of their peers.

Sunwoo placed a hand on Changmin’s shoulder, a silent message of solidarity. Sejin smirked, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Looks like Mr. Kang just made us even more popular,” she whispered.

The movement they’d started wouldn’t be silenced by threats or empty warnings. Lemonade Mouth’s music, the anthem of a generation yearning for their voice, would continue to play, louder, bolder, echoing through the halls long after the last chord of Mr. Kang’s tirade faded into the distance.

When the last bell rang, Juyeon’s eyes searched for his boyfriend. It wasn’t so hard to pick him from the crowd with his shiny blond hair. Here his sunshine goes. Then he noticed something. Since when his boyfriend was wearing glases? He got to admit that he looks so good. As he always do.

Girls who saw Juyeon after the classes was surprised. He would be usually at the football field practicing. Juyeon just dodged them like a video game character. All he cared about was Changmin.

When he finally got to squish himself in the flood, he lightly tapped his boyfriend’s shoulder while he was busy getting his books from the locker. Feeling his skin under his fingertips was tingling and twinkling.

“Changmin, can we talk?”

Changmin didn’t even turn around. Almost in a whisper he said, “About what? It is what it is.”

Hearing him was heartbreaking. Juyeon’s boyfriend was visibly slipping through his fingers and he was helpless. Every step he take, every word he say joins into his avalanche of mistakes and adds to the speed. Is this how Changmin feels?

“It’s not. I promise.”

“I saw it all, Juyeon. Don’t be ridiculous.” Changmin sounded empty but the truth was the otherwise. He was full of anger, sadness, disappointment. Just a big, broken heart. Not even shattered. Just broken from the center to two pieces.

Juyeon closed his eyes to help clear his mind. He didn’t think this was going to happen like this. He imagined it… easier. Like it always was. But now, Changmin stood before him, a stranger cloaked in his familiar form.

“Just… please,” Juyeon choked out, his voice thick with emotion. “We need to talk somewhere quieter.”

Changmin let out a defeated sigh, knowing he couldn’t run forever. He also harbored a twisted desire to hear how Juyeon would try to mend the wreckage he’d caused. “Fine,” he mumbled, the word heavy with unspoken accusations.

As they walked, a tense silence stretched between them, punctuated only by the echoing clatter of closing lockers. Juyeon stole glances at Changmin, the new glasses making his eyes seem larger, more vulnerable. The guilt gnawed at him, a hungry beast feasting on his remorse. He knew the path ahead wouldn’t be easy, but just like the melody that resonated from Changmin’s guitar, a tiny flicker of hope sparked within him – a hope that maybe, just maybe, their song wasn’t over yet.

Chapter Text

Sunwoo: Y'ALL

Sunwoo: 5 pm at Maru's

Sejin: EMERGENCY MEETING!!! 

Sejin: WE HAVE NEWS

As Juyeon and Changmin made it to the backyard, who is now soulless, Changmin's phone was vibrating like crazy. He quickly checked it and locked the screen again.

Juyeon sat to the bench facing his boyfriend.

"Who's texting you that much?"

Changmin dramatically frowned to that question. "Does it matter anymore?"

Juyeon was confused by that question. "What do you mean?" 

Changmin dodged that, so carelessly. At least that was what it seemed. "Juyeon, whatever explanation you've got, can you make it quick? I've got somewhere to go."

Seeing his boyfriend this bored and so vain on his feelings pierced a hole in Juyeon's heart. He used to be full of excitement and joy just seeing him and looking eye to eye. Little did he knew, Juyeon was innocent. 

Right?

It was all on Eric. That doucebag was so fucking dead. If it wasn't for Starstruck, Juyeon wanted to punch his annoying face so hard that he'd look like a plastic doll with its head squished. Just he waits, Juyeon thought. 

Just he waits after all this Rising Star bullshit is over. Juyeon was so, so, so tired. He was never going to do this again, never. It was just that everyone else on the band worked so hard for it. Their song was just too good to screw it all over when they were this close. Fuck you, you fucking fuck, Sohn Eric. Seriously, fuck you.

For Changmin, it wasn't new. Since seeing Juyeon with that girl, everything had changed. It was a feeling so heavy that Changmin saw he couldn't carry it so he simply gave up. On him, on them, on everything. He was empty just like that. Otherwise, he wouldn't carry on. 

And by everything, Changmin really meant everything that has something to do with him. Even the band. 

Because playing in the band meant facing him on Rising Star. He barely made it to the stage on the first one, how could he do it for another time? Plus, it was enough trouble for him. He was a dedicated student and he needed to focus on his studies.

If someone told him just a month ago that he gave up on his precious boyfriend, his title of "PopularHandsomeBoy'sCuteBoyfriendPlusIHeardHeIsAPerfectStraightA'sStudentAndHePlaysTheViolinIsThereAnythingHeCantDo" and everything else he had lost this easily, he would simply just laugh. Or cry because they didn't know him well. Depended on the person who's saying it.

After an interval of silence, Juyeon finally answered. On the verge of tears. He was the one crying this time. He got it now. It felt just so terrible to have Changmin slipping on his hands. "I know it'll sound so ridiculous, but it was Eric."

Changmin frowned. Juyeon waited for something more. But no. Just a simple frown. "Oh come on, Juyeon!"

Hearing his boyfriend calling Juyeon by his name was astronomically long time ago. It sent a shiver down his spine. Why was it all so hard? 

Juyeon cleared his throat. "No, but-"

Changmin stood up. He knew that Juyeon would try to lie and make it up somehow but... Being so naive in Juyeon's eyes that it got him thinking Changmin would believe that was just furrowing. Not towards Juyeon, but himself. How could he be so stupid?

"Yeah, I know he hates us and trying to do us dirty like a full time job but, but, but-"

Changmin was having a hard time believing. "For fuck's sake, Juyeon! Being down bad for you doesn't mean I have shit for brains! Fuck's Eric got to do with you cheating on me?"

Juyeon closed his eyes, trying to process what he just heard. He swears now. Those weirdos are turning his little baby into them. Juyeon tried to hold Changmin's wrist gently, as if that'd make him stay with him. "First of all, please breathe."

"No!" Changmin pulled off his arm from Juyeon's hand.

This hurts like crazy, Juyeon thought.

"Second of all, I'm so sorry, okay? I really am. But I swear, it's that bastard trying to set me off. He brought that girl into changing rooms, I don't even know her name!"

Juyeon paused for a moment to see Changmin's face. It was clear he still wasn't convinced, but at least his expression got softer. A bit. A very little bit.

"Then he suddenly got you there, right?"

Changmin just nodded. That was right. It was so awkward, Eric suddenly popped up and rushed Changmin there.

"That's it. Eric brought that girl that apparently has a crush on me, she got her hands all over me suddenly and then Eric made you see it. So that we would fight and you'd give up on Rising Star."

"And cross my heart and hope to die, I never touched her."

Changmin sat back down. "I hate that you're making sense right now. But why? I don't get it, just why'd he do that? I thought we were friends!"

Juyeon sighed. He was embarrassed having him as a friend. Also couldn't help but think his boyfriend is the most precious human being on earth. But he tried his best to not to be a flirt now. "Because he wants to win, silly. But you guys are just so good. The school loves you so much. We have no chance against you guys. He thinks this is the only way. I tried to stop him a million times. He just always finds some sneaky way."

"So he's also the one who reported the lemonade machine?"

Juyeon shrugged. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Are we good now, baby?" Juyeon tried to force a smile and looked in Changmin's eyes with hope. To see the spark he's used to. But it was gone for good. Juyeon could swear there was a sound of his heart breaking, filling the backyard.

"No." Changmin grabbed his backpack again and headed the door. He couldn't believe himself for being stone cold, though. He didn't know he got so much rage in him. He didn't think it was possible for him to being capable of that. He wasn't all rainbows and butterflies, as everyone made him to be. Especially Juyeon. So much that he thought he was really all that. He was learning it the hard way that he wasn't.

"I'm not that easy anymore. Go take care of your naughty child."

Changmin: I'm coming.

Chapter Text

"Changmin!"

"Changmin! Wait!"

But Changmin was already on his way. There were no looking backs this time. Literally or allegorical. 

Juyeon felt like he couldn't run anymore, so in a faint voice he said. "Changie... Please."

That sounded so fucking sad, Juyeon thought.

Changie? Yeah. It had been ages since Changmin heard that. That should've hurted, but instead Changmin felt a pity. Pity for all the time he wasted on him and his most innocent feelings. Maybe he was too cruel, but more than a few lines were crossed. 

But why was he stopped? He didn't want to listen. Why was his body betraying him, in the now completely empty backyard? Was he waiting for a miracle to happen, something so magical that he could forgive him? Because that would be the only way.

Keeping up his breath, Juyeon finally talked. Changmin could see a tear or two dropping down on Juyeon's face. Oh. That felt weird. 

"I try to keep up with you, I really do Changie. But you changed too much. I don't know if this is my boyfriend or someone else."

Changmin just stood there, seeing those words hanging on the air instead of hearing them. Million words in his head, but they never got to make a sentence. Feeling like nothing would make sense. Always blending in, not standing out. Doing whatever he approves. Being no one but "Juyeon's boyfriend". Being popular, but not known. Or even worse, seen. Was this the only reason for Juyeon to love him? To be his accessory. 

The silence was loud and heartbreaking - so Changmin tore it down. He couldn't bear it anymore.

"Changed? Maybe this is who am I from the start?"

For once, Changmin felt cared by Juyeon. Funny that it was only because he realized he can lose Changmin. He was acting like Changmin could stay forever, no matter what he does or what he says.

"I'll keep Eric away from your business. I promise."

"You better do, Juyeon. You should."

-

Everyone was in the table as usual at Maru's, they were already deep down in the conversation. Everyone looked so cheerful and excited. Seeing them like that brought Changmin some joy. 

No more boring, sad Changmin. It was the time of the old, lively and sweet Changmin. 

"Hi guys! What's going on?"

Changmin's cheerful voice suprised everyone except Sunwoo. Sunwoo was smiling to his ears after hearing Changmin like that. He thought he lost his friend forever.

"Hi Changmin! It's good to-"

As Changmin was taking a seat next to Jacob, Sejin interrupted Sunwoo in an excited and way too loud voice. Some people looked their way after hearing Sejin. Sejin couldn't care less.

"Remember Chanhee? The guy from the audio club? He recorded our songs!"

"And?" Changmin asked while checking out some of his homework in his backpack. Kevin violently side eyed that. How does he even do that? 

Sejin kept the words going. "And he says he already sold like 10 copies! He'll take a %20 commission, and the rest is ours. What do you say?"

Changmin stole a gaze from everyone in the table to see their reaction, then talked. "Am I the only one who doesn't want to get a suspension?"

Jacob nodded. "Right. We'll get caught in no time." 

"Who said we'll sell them inside the school? We can sell them.... uh..." Sejin looked around as if someone will come and tell her the right word.

"Here?" 

The suggestion was such ridiculous that Changmin had to raise his head from his notebook and giggle to that. "In Starstruck's place? No way."

"It's not their place anymore." Kevin joined.

"What do you mean?" Changmin talked while writing some equations. He wasn't sure they were right though. But they were something.

"Aunt Maru said they can't afford it anymore. Those fuckers were asking for too much money. They're cancelled."

"What?" Changmin couldn't hide his shock. He wouldn't say he was sad, but it was unbelievable that Lemonade Mouth dethroned them this easily. Their ruling of 3 years was over just like that. With songs written in Sunwoo's old backyard and some cans of lemonade. They were made of steel. Soccer, nice cars, popularity and looks. The beginning of an American dream. They weren't the best of a band, but nobody cared about that when you're handsome and popular.

At least that was what the story was just some days ago. Some "bunch of losers" changed it all. 

Sejin leaned forward, her eyes gleaming with determination. Making it harder each time to say no. “Guys, think about it. Playing at Maru’s could be a game-changer for us. People already love what we’re doing. The rebellion, the music—it’s making waves.-"

Sunwoo nodded enthusiastically, jumping in. "And now that our music is recorded, we're, like, an official band. Isn't that exciting? People want to hear us!"

Changmin sighed, tapping his pencil against his notebook. He stared at the unfinished equations in front of him, his mind a tug-of-war between the weight of his responsibilities and the spark of the music they’d created. “Look, I barely made it to the stage last time,” he said quietly. “My dad’s already on my case about practicing the violin. If he finds out I’ve been doing this band stuff…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I can’t risk it. Not now.”

Kevin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Yeah, same here,” he said after a moment. “My parents want me to focus on sports. They think it’s my ticket to college. I don’t even know how to explain this band thing to them.”

Jacob, who had been silent up until now, leaned back in his chair. “If Kevin’s out, I’m out too,” he said firmly. “I’m not doing this without him.”

The group fell silent, the weight of their unspoken fears and doubts hanging in the air.

Sejin broke the tension, her voice soft but insistent. “Guys, I get it. We all have stuff to deal with. But this—this thing we’ve started—it’s special. You all felt it on stage last time, didn’t you? That energy, that connection? It’s not something you can just walk away from.”

Sunwoo added, “Maru’s isn’t some big competition. It’s just us, playing music we love, for people who want to hear it. What’s the harm in one performance? Think of it as… a warm-up.”

Changmin frowned, glancing at his watch. “I’ve got to go. Violin practice starts in thirty minutes,” he muttered, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

The group followed him outside, still debating as they walked down the street. As they passed Maru’s, something caught their eye: a large poster plastered on the window. It was a picture of their band from their last performance, with bold letters underneath:

“YOU GOTTA HEAR US NOW!”

Everyone stopped, staring at the poster. The image seemed larger than life, almost surreal. Changmin felt his heart skip a beat as he saw himself on that stage, a part of something bigger than his doubts or fears.

Sejin broke the silence, her voice full of awe. “Do you see that? That’s us. People believe in what we’re doing. They’re waiting for us.”

Kevin tilted his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “It does look pretty cool.”

Jacob crossed his arms, grinning. “Maybe it's not that scary as we make it to be?"

Changmin sighed, running a hand through his hair. His dad’s disapproving face flashed in his mind, but so did the memory of the crowd cheering for them, the adrenaline, the music.

“Okay,” he said finally, his voice reluctant but firm. “One performance. That’s it. After that, I’m done.”

The group erupted in cheers, and Sejin clapped him on the back. “That’s the spirit!”

As they walked back into Maru’s, the weight of their individual struggles didn’t disappear, but for now, the spark of something greater carried them forward.

This wasn’t the end. It was just the beginning.

Maybe they are now somebody. 

This is their somehow, some way and some day. 

Chapter Text

It has been a few days. Almost a week.

Almost a week of not seeing Juyeon anywhere near the school. Maybe it was for the better for Changmin, but the gossiping hallways of the school sure felt empty without the most popular person.

Usually, when a match is near, the team is allowed to skip classes to practice more. Some Mr. Kang bullshit. Nothing is ever important in this school but sports. But they'd come and join the rest during the lunch break. To get their hype and attention. And maybe flirt with girls (or boys) if they feel like it that day. 

But today, Juyeon's seat was empty in the Blue Eagles table. Everyone else was there. Changmin made a quick and sort of unintentional eye contact with Haknyeon, looking for him.

"Ah, come on! Weren't you "so over" of Juyeon?" Sunwoo talked to his friend while he was getting in the line with an empty tray on his hand. Juyeon and his squad was already getting on Sunwoo's nerves on a disgusting level. Juyeon making Changmin sad was a cherry on top for Sunwoo to use an excuse to punch his "handsome" face.

"I am! I want him to see I am happier without him." 

Changmin really was doing better off Juyeon. Or at least that's what it seemed like. He got a fresh haircut yesterday and showed up to school with a leather jacket and a colorful sweater. He was looking good and doing good. He'd call it the Lemonade Mouth effect. "Then I can't wait for your song ton-"

As they were getting through the line, a group of girls and a few boys excitedly smiled towards them. Changmin smiled back and waved to them, almost dropping his tray. Sunwoo got through them sneakily and started to pick his lunch. Those boys were "friends" of his brother and Sunwoo didn't want to talk to any of them. Not because he held a grudge or something but because he didn't want to get reminded of him. Everything in this school already reminded so much to him. This weird dedication for soccer, the rivalry between different type of people... Nothing changes. At all.

"Sunjae hyung's friends?" Changmin asked in a low voice, while putting some kimchis and smashed potato on his tray. 

Sunwoo nodded. "Thank you."

As they were getting out of the line with the group that approached to them, Eric stood in front of them. "Enjoying your 15 minutes fame?"

"Shut up Eric! Are you jealous or something?" Someone behind them shouted, but Sunwoo was so quick to hold Changmin's arm and walk away, Changmin didn't see who.

Changmin made himself let go. "You don't have to protect me." He said soft spokenly.

"I don't. I just find this overwhelming." Sunwoo tried to find the right words as they finally sat down. Longest lunch line in his life, and there was barely any people in front of them.

"The popularity? Don't you like it?" Changmin couldn't relate. He was always popular. There weren't a time that he wasn't. As Juyeon's boyfriend, yes. After started dating him, it quite escalated. Which sucked, a filthy, grudgy type of suck. Ew. But he was also popular before that. As the A+ boy. The boy with both looks and brains. Which he couldn't really complain about. Oh how he wished it stayed that way.

"No, not the popularity. I do like it, unexpectedly. I mean this forced rivalry. Like, who are these people that's holding a grudge for us? We don't even know them! Me, at least." Sunwoo didn't sound annoyed, opposing his words. Rather he sounded confused and slightly apalled.

He opened the carton of his juice, took a sip, then kept speaking. "Do we have to do this? And people siding for us? ...Why?"

Changmin answered in a such neutral voice. The answer was so obvious for him. "They want to be your 'friend' and get your nachos. For the first time ever, someone in this school is popular for a reason other than soccer. We're a... big deal for them. Unusual." 

Changmin didn't actually want to have this conversation while everyone in the school was there, but here they were. Everyone except Juyeon.

Sunwoo saw Changmin's discomfort, tried to change the topic quickly. "Aren't you excited for tonight's stage? You seem so calm."

Changmin grabbed a piece of kimchi before answering that. He didn't notice he was hungry until this. He wasn't eating properly for a while that he almost forgot what hunger felt like. "I try not to think about it. Otherwise I'll have a panic attack."

Sunwoo laughed at his friend's cuteness but at the same time he knew that wasn't an exaggeration. He would feel the same if he had to be the main singer for the first time. "You know what? I'm so proud of you. Changmin a month ago wouldn't take a step onto that stage."

Changmin started eating rapidly without noticing. Sunwoo was happy seeing him taking care of himself but he also guessed it was rather because of his stress. "Easy,"

Changmin answered before Sunwoo got to finish his sentence. He tried to smile at what Sunwoo said but he looked too funny and cute with his cheeks full. Sunwoo was resisting so hard to not make fun of him. "I'm just scared I won't do as good as Sejin."

"Don't be ridiculous." Sunwoo answered before putting his chopsticks down. He couldn't understand how Changmin ate all of this. Only half of it tasted good. But Changmin was feeling like he could go for a second round on this if it was possible. Very not Changmin of him.

Sunwoo kept it going with a big, dumb smile on purpose. That he knew would annoy Changmin. "You're gonna rock this. Trust me."

"Oh no."

Sejin whispered, taking her glance inside the backstage and making sure Changmin was still getting ready inside. 

"What happened?" The bandmates all asked in unison, panicking.

Sejin made a hand gesture to make her bandmates speak lower. "The whole soccer team is here."

"Including... the cheerleaders?" Jacob asked slowly.

"Yes, including her." 

Sunwoo repeated with the most uneasy voice possible. This was the worst that could happen. "Oh no."

"What's going on guys?" Changmin finally got out from the dressing room, looking fancy as ever. There was no doubt that he was the star tonight. He had some gray eye make up, with a purple, tightly fitted band shirt complementing it. With his fishnet gloves and ripped jeans, which almost revealing the entirety of his flawless legs and his combat boots. He really knew what was he doing. He looked stunning, he looked like a true rock star. Others also got it, but there was no denying that Changmin got it differently tonight. But when Changmin looked into the mirror, he couldn't help the flashbacks. 

It was the first time ever Changmin made some makeup. It wasn't much of a deal, just some smudgy gray eyeshadow and some black eye pen under his waterline. But Juyeon just couldn't stop complementing his boyfriend. He commented how good he looked nonstop, during the whole date of theirs. He admired his boyfriend face all along. 

And the sentence kept echoing on Changmin's head: "You keep mesmerizing me every single time. How do you do that, Changie?"

Changmin sighed before getting out of the small, claustrophobic dressing room. Before all that he was just doing fine. Why was his memory working against him? It wasn't fair. Why was his heart pushing his ribcage all of a sudden? It. Wasn't. Fair.

Sejin smiled awkwardly and answered. "Nothing. We were talking about how hard you've worked for this stage."

Sejin then opened her one arm, pulling tonight's star for a hug. Sunwoo could swear she has some supernatural powers for managing those kind of situations perfectly every time. Others joined to the hug, wrapping Changmin around them. "You got this." 

Kevin and Jacob said it at the same time, making the whole band giggle. This moment really helped Changmin calm down a bit. Guess they were really for him, for the good and for the bad. And what if ıt went bad? It's just some pizza place. Not Rising Star.

Right?

Right.

Sunwoo asked with his usual big smile as if he could hear inside the head of Changmin. How does one know someone so well? "Are you ready?"

Changmin inhaled a long breath, then exhaled violently. "I think I am."

Chapter Text

Changmin inhaled.

Exhaled.

Inhaled.

Exhaled - this time longer.

Inhaled.

Inhaled.

Inhaled.

Inhaled.

Inhaled as if he's begging the tight air to give some to him.

Finally exhaled.

Lights down, microphone's on. Lyrics before him, just in case. He worked on it for hundred times, but just in case.

Everybody silent. 

What if... his parents find out? What if they already did? Like this, singing a song about his feelings for a boy? His own song.

Is it too late to run away now?

Yes it is. They trust you. You can't just let them down, Changmin, he thought. 

They're your friends.

Best friends, now.

The audience... Do they know it's Changmin's on the vocals tonight?

Will they like him? It's his first time as a vocal.

The pepperoni smell coming from the pizzas were nauseating - fuck. No. No nausea. Please, no.

Is Juyeon here?

Eric?

The girl?

His parents?

Does it matter?

Doesn't it? They're the audience, after all.

And their rivals. Gotta show it to Juyeon. And Eric. And... the girl.

Actually, no. He got nothing to prove to them. Everyone knows how good they are. Even better, for some.

But is Juyeon here? Have he heard them?

Of course he did. The whole school did.

People love them. Lemonade Mouth.

People love Lemonade Mouth.

People love... Lemonade Mouth.

Do they?

They do.

Do they?

Hell yeah, sure they do. 

Do they?

"Changmin, you're going in three..." The whisper of the girl turned Changmin back to reality. Reality was the one that should've been the harsh, but Changmin's voice was trying hard. Stop, stop, stop... make it stop! 

"Two..."

If he's like that for a simple stage, what will happen in Rising Star? 

What if he ruins it all?

What if Juyeon's here?

"One."

Suddenly, everything paused. Changmin felt like he lost his ability to hear and everything else vanished into thin air. Except his bandmates, smiling at him. They knew he can do it. 

Changmin wasn't going to let them down. He swallowed and nodded to Sunwoo, and watched his sticks click between his fingers, and go.

Insecure in his skin

Like a puppet, a boy on a string

Broke away, learned to fly

If you want him back, gotta let him shine

So it looks like the joke's on you

'Cause, the boy that you thought you knew

Next thing Changmin knew, he was feeling himself to the melody. His bandmates were so good at what they were doing that Changmin catched up so effortlessly.

He's so gone (he's so gone)

That's so over now

He's so gone (he's so gone)

You won't find him around

You can look but you won't see

The boy I used to be

'Cause he, he's so gone

(He's so gone, yeah)

Changmin didn't know at that moment, but Juyeon's eyes were all over Changmin. He was hiding in a corner, making sure Changmin won't see him. Juyeon came here alone. You had to threaten them with their family for his bandmates to come here anyways. He fighted himself all to not to come here, but he lost. Here he was, couldn't take his eyes off him. He looked so good, so charming and so... different. He didn't realize that he was tearing up after hearing those lyrics. 

The whole song is about him. He didn't even try to hide anymore after hearing those. He stepped out that corner, thinking that there's no use of being this miserable. He quickly got seated and bit his bottom lip hard.

How could he do that to him? How could he embarrass him in front of the whole school?

Here I am, this is me

And I'm stronger than you ever thought I'd be

Are you shocked? Are you mad?

That you're missing out on who I really am

Now it looks like the joke's on you

'Cause, the girl that you thought you knew

And... their eyes locked. 

Juyeon excepted a reaction. Anything. A slight smile, a confusion, glancing away in shyness, regretting those lyrics after seeing him. Anything.

But Changmin was looking like he's anybody. Just someone in the crowd. Their interlock only lasted for a split second, before Changmin stepped out the stage for the chorus and started to sing his heart out with the friend group sitting on the closest table to the stage. Everyone cheered for him. Juyeon couldn't stand it. He couldn’t stand the fierce look on his face. He started to shake his legs. 

In the meantime, some girls tried to talking to him but Juyeon couldn't even comprehend who they were or what they were saying. All he could think about was those lyrics, and how he looked so confident about it. How his face enlightened to see the crowd cheering for him, how his body moved to the sultry melody. Was he even allowed to do all these in a place like this? He had never seen him like that before.

How he belonged to the stage.

He's so gone (he's so gone)

That's so over now

He's so gone (he's so gone)

You won't find him around

You can look but you won't see

The boy I used to be

'Cause he

Juyeon couldn't take this anymore. He felt like the walls of the old pizzeria were closing on him. And Changmin closed his eyes. Juyeon wasn't sure if it was for not seeing him or to feel the song better, but both probabilities felt agonizing and raging at the same time. Without Changmin ever noticing, he got out of the restaurant and quickly lighted a cigarette. A flavored one, they were easier to smoke. Which was he's forbidden for before the big match. Like on a deadly, morbidly level forbidden. 

He's so gone away like history

He's so gone

Baby, this is me, yeah

He's so gone (he's so gone)

That's so over now

He's so gone (he's so gone)

You won't find him around

You can look but you won't see

The boy I used to be

'Cause he, he's so gone (he's so gone)

He's so gone (he's so gone)

You can look but you won't see

The boy I used to be

'Cause he, he's so gone

Juyeon thought the song was going to last forever until the bridge. Being outside didn't help at all. The muffled sounds were only making it worse. He even sounded good like that. How did he do that?

So long, he's so gone

Gone, gone, gone

The song finally finished. Juyeon heard him talking, probably thanking them for loving the song and what this song means to him. 

Juyeon tried to hold back his tears and texted him as he was heading to his car. 

we need to talk. |

Then he typed one more thing. 

please.

He deleted that and wrote something else instead.

im waiting outside at the parking lot

After maybe 5 more songs, loud cheers, "Vote for us at Rising Star", almost emptying out the whole vape and tens of unsent texts, Changmin appeared from afar. His makeup smudged and his messy hair even messier from all the jumping and dancing. Oh lord, Juyeon thought. He's so...

Changmin spoke even before he shut the car's door. His tone was so neutral, almost commanding. What Juyeon didn't know was that he was trying so hard to be. After singing all those, doing all those, still needing him felt so hypocrite. Like his whole life was built on Juyeon's shoulders. "Before anything, I'm only here because I lied my parents that I'll be studying with you-"

He paused midway and smelled the air. The sweet and burnt smell that filled up the whole car was nauseating. Not to add that Kevin secretly brought tequila to the backstage and everyone took two shots in a row before going on. Changmin had no idea how he was convinced to do so, he had only drunken beer before. Well, half a beer. It was disgusting, in a good way. Tequila was even worse. He was lucky that he didn't passed out in the middle of the performance. Plus, he was so dead if he smelled like alcohol right now. And now, this was on top of that. "Why your car smells like mango and mint flavored smoke? Are you-" 

Why the fuck do I care, Changmin thought mid sentence and stopped talking. Ji Changmin, you're such a sucker. 

"It's just... half a pack. I won't die." Juyeon hardly spoke. It was a lie though. He almost finished the pack and even thought about getting one more before Changmin gets here. At then, Changmin noticed Juyeon's eyes. Did he... cried? Literally his eyeballs out. Was he even capable of that? Lee Juyeon has real feelings for real situations. Not playing pretend or being dramatic for attention. Wow. Changmin almost believed it.

An awkward silence filled up the car alongside that disgusting smell. Changmin was about to throw up in any second. And Juyeon too. He really shouldn't have smoked that much. Because it looked like he was going to smoke even more after this. Juyeon just watched him secretly on the rear view. He couldn’t help but worry about him.

"So drive." Clear as water Changmin spoke. And finally broke the silence. He could swear that he heard Juyeon lightly sighing.

"No." Clear as water Juyeon responded.

"What do you mean 'no'? Are you going to leave me here?" Changmin frowned, forcing himself for an eye contact. He shouldn't make it more awkward than it already was. Act normal, he soft talked to himself, it became a habit at that point. Be natural. It's your right to ask for one last thing.

"You can't just make me a part of your lies without telling me." Juyeon hated how fragile he sounded. He wondered if Changmin thought the same. But no, Changmin was content about seeing Juyeon finally realizing that he lost him. For good. 

"What happened to 'I'll be your partner in crime if you want me to'?" Changmin himself didn't realize how acrid he could be. He wasn't sure that was what he wanted to imply. He was just saying anything knowing there's no meaning in trying to avoid fighting. Juyeon was here to fight, or at least it seemed so. 

Changmin could never guess what will happen next when it's Juyeon. Would he treat him like his boyfriend and care about him? Be mad at him without a reason? Completely ignore him? Take him to places where he knows nobody, just to brag about him? Buy him gifts and take him on unnecessarily expensive dates? Nobody knows.

"That was when we're together. And when I knew about what did you say using my name." Juyeon started to sound annoyed as he finally adjusted his voice. His throat hurted so bad.

"So you finally accepted that we broke up?"

That stung and made Juyeon confused, as if he could be more confused. He was there, spitting his hate all over, and now he's here, asking for a favor. Like it was rightful. "No. Yes. I can't believe you! How could you-" 

Changmin cut off that sentence as Juyeon's voice was pitching. He couldn't belive what he was hearing. How dare he yelled at him? "How could I sing about my own feelings?"

"Your feelings? What about telling me about them instead of embarrassing me in front of everyone?" Changmin changed his mind. He was only thinking about himself, like he always did. How fool of him to think that he cared about him, seriously. He should've been even more acridier, or maybe even manipulative. He hated the situation he was in once more. He should've came up with something else. He regretted it all.

"Is that how you feel? Do those words mean nothing to you?" Changmin added. He was so mad that he started to nipping his thighs.

"Yeah! That is how 'I' feel!" Juyeon started yelling completely.

"I tried to tell you all of this, Juyeon. A million times. You didn't listen." Changmin broke the eye contact and spoke slowly, opposing to him.

"Can you drive now? I told my mom I'll be home before 10." Changmin added right after, sounding tired. He needed to go home immediately, he was wasting time arguing with him.

"Fine." Juyeon immediately pushed the pedals and started to drive fast. So fast that it was probably off the speed limit. 

Changmin didn't say anything for the half of the road, all he wanted was to go home and sleep without listening to his parents scolds and long speeches about not taking his life seriously, not having respect to them, how it was not safe outside at night for his age (as if he was 12) and how he should take some responsibility. He was so tired, both for right now and for usual.

The silence was favoring Changmin. He was happy that Juyeon also saw no point in fighting in that parking lot at 9 PM and he actually cared about him being late and hurried up.

But it wasn't like how Changmin thought. Of course it was never about him. He realized it after how Juyeon was passing by other cars dangerously, how he hit the speed bump for 4 times in a span of 5 minutes and how he almost hit someone crossing the road.

"Juyeon! Are you trying to kill us?" 

Juyeon didn't respond and speeded up even more. The engine started to rev. 

"Calm down! I'm scared!" Changmin yelled and buckled his seatbelt.

Juyeon pushed the brake suddenly as he genuinely felt the fear in Changmin's voice, and the car stopped loudly in the middle of the road. Changmin sighed deeply. 

"Go back." Changmin involuntarily made an eye contact with Juyeon in the rearview mirror. In darkness, it was hard to tell but he could swear he saw the tears in Juyeon's eyes. That made Changmin felt a rough lump in his throat. He could tell he cried before Changmin came in, but this time he saw actual tears. First time in his life. It felt foreign and hideous.

"What?"

"Go back. You need to go home. I can walk." Juyeon's house was only two blocks away from Changmin's.

Changmin looked around and it was familiar. "We're almost there anyways."

Juyeon wanted to smile after hearing Changmin still, somehow but still cared about him. But he just couldn't. Looking at Changmin only felt agitating.

"Okay?" Juyeon wanted to bump his head on the wheel after hearing Changmin's soft and nervous voice. After all that, he was still... so sweet. Not to add his angry face made him look so cute. No, Juyeon should be mad at him. He shouldn't think those.

How can I accept that I lost you, Juyeon thought. Isn't it my right to be mad?

"Okay." Juyeon spoke under his breath and shifted the gear, trying to calm down and bring himself together.

And he somehow did. 

When they finally arrived in Juyeon's enormous, glamorous house that he absolutely hated, Juyeon didn't wanted to get out of the car. Knowing this might be the last time Changmin was sitting in that passenger seat.

Changmin didn't said anything and got out of the car. Juyeon just sat there and watched it, thinking he just left like that without a word. But no. Changmin opened his door. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"And the cigarettes made it worse. " As someone who never smokes. 

Juyeon just soullessly nodded, he was still looking at the seat. He spoke without turning his head. "How else could I come here?"

"Juyeon." Changmin sounded serious as he tried to got Juyeon out of the car. A very pointless series of tries, though. He forgot Juyeon was twice his weight almost, with all those muscles. No Changmin, don't think about them. 

Juyeon finally got out himself and faced Changmin. He liked how he said his name. "Yes?"

"Don't do this." But Changmin wasn't even near of flirting with him. 

"To yourself. For me." Changmin's voice was almost scolding. They were walking to the door in the meantime.

"You need to..."

"Take care of myself and give a good performance? I know."

"Not how I'd word it but, yeah."

Juyeon thought he answered, but he just mouthed something. Changmin waited for some actual words, but they never came. So I guess I get to going then, he said to himself. "Good night, Juyeon."

Changmin left without waiting for an answer. He walked down the garden door, until Juyeon lightly touched his shoulder. "Changmin..."

His sloppy voice made him sound even more miserable, only if he knew. He continued right after Changmin turned back to him. "You're sweet. Too sweet. Is this the same person that wrote those lyrics?"

Changmin couldn't understand where this words were going. He frowned. 

"Too sweet that it's sickening."

"Don't do this to me. I know you're just trying to be good, it's..."

"It's just who you are. And that was what... Nevermind." Made me like you. Changmin could guess easily, he knew him too well. Juyeon cleared his throat, trying to control his thoughts so nothing slips out.

"It's just..." Juyeon pushed his lips together and looked down. 

"It's just?" Changmin knew he was just drunk, but he couldn't bear it anymore. It took so long for him to form full sentences. Was it because he was drunk, or just carefully picking his words?

"It just feels like you're killing me with kindness."

"Just let me process that we... that we.." Juyeon teared up again, as well as Changmin this time.

"We aren't together anymore. This doesn't help." A single tear run down Juyeon's cheek and Changmin intently watched it.

Changmin nodded and wiped away his tears. "Okay."

"Good night."