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2021-01-21
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Grief

Summary:

Aloy visits Rost's grave many years later.

Notes:

Hey y'all. Long time lurker/commenter and first time poster. I have had a lot of plot bunnies for years now but wanted to get this self indulgent one-shot out. This reflects my own experience of loss.
I am on mobile so i apologize for any errors.
Hope you enjoy.

Work Text:

The cold wind bites at her skin, but there is no where she would rather be in this moment than kneeling on the snow covered stone in front of him. Her father? It does not matter the title. What matters is what he meant to her. All he did for her, what he continues to do for her, even after death.
Her callused palm smoothes over the cairn, sticking to the slightly rough surface, trying to brush some snow off.
The stone is covered in ice, much like part of her heart, having been hardened from all she has endured. Endurance is easy, she trained her whole life for it, but that was for her body, what about her heart? She thought it was hardened enough from her life of isolation. He taught her to not need anybody, to have others need her, but what about needing him? Her tracking skills, that he taught her so well, did no use to follow his trail where he went.

Even after all this time, the hole in her heart was still there. The days would go by easier as time went on, her daily routine becoming easier.
Now she had time to let her journey sink in. Still moments such as this she did not like, these moment by herself letting her thoughts drift. She still caught herself thinking of him. Would he be proud of how far she has come? Would he have followed her on this quest? Was he in those exact spots she travelled, in his death seeking days? Would he like this friend she met? He would like this food, or he would love this song.
Why did she keep thinking these thoughts? Wasn't time supposed to heal? Wasn't she supposed to be strong? So why did she find herself still grieving him after all these years?
The cold froze the tears she dares to shed when alone.

The snow crunches beside her and a large hand on her shoulder starts her out of her thoughts.

" Thought all this metal made me easy to hear? " Came his deep voice, along with a small sad smile on his face.

She hastily tries to wipe the tears so he doesn't notice the weakness she dare not show, even to him.
Strong hands catch her wrist with surprising gentleness for their size.
"How many times do I have to tell you that you are safe with me? I have the steel, remember." Steel blue eyes bore into her hazel ones.
His other hand brushing her fiery mane aside. Gentle lips kiss hers for the thousandth time, still just as comforting as the first shy ones.
She smiles weakly and brings her hand to her slightly swollen middle. Her other holding his briefly before returning it to the cold stone.

"I did it Rost, I served a purpose greater than myself. I found my mother, I found my purpose and restored Gaia. And now..now i serve life, not death. Just like she wanted. I... I hope you are proud...I hope both of you are proud." She says, her voice cracking slightly.

" He would be, they both would be." Erend says with the resolve he always seems to hold.

"Ersa would be too." Aloy smiles sadly.

"We didn't do too bad for an Outcast and a drunk huh." He jokes.

"No, we did better than we gave ourselves credit for, Haven't we?"

" I always gave you credit." He smiles, his hands cradle her face like she is precious. One hand settles on her belly.
" Lets not give this little one too much to live up to though." He chuckles

" I suppose we will try, Captain" She chuckles too.

" That's my girl." He holds her with one arm around her shoulders.
She lays her head on his shoulder, not minding the hard steal against her face.
She wonders if Rost would approve of Erend? As she gazes up at her lovers face, seeing the scars Erend took so she didnt have to, She thinks Rost would have.