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Masayi rested in Hannibal's bed. This had been too long. When would he be reborn? He wanted to be with his lover, even if he wasn't awake to appreciate it. The bed in the underworld was starting to not smell like Hanni. Still, he hid his face in a pillow. He tried to take in the scent as best as he could. He missed him so much. He just wanted to be with Hanni. He didn't care if he had his mind or his abilities. He didn't care if he was at full strength. He just wanted to be with his lover.
All he had was the fading scent of him. Masayi had slept far too long in this bed. His own scent was taking over. Soon that would be all he had. Being with Persephone and Hades didn't help. They didn't comfort him, they couldn't. Masayi wished there was a way to do this.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of Hanni's scent. He tried to let his mind wander to their time in Florence, to the feeling of Hanni holding him in the early hours of the morning.
"Hello, Masayi. Should I leave you alone for a bit or is this a good time? Perhaps you wouldn't mind me watching. That was a fantasizing face, right?"
Masayi jolted and opened his eyes, sitting up. "Loki. What are you doing here?" Traveling to the realm of the dead was not an easy task. How was the Norse god managing it?
"Mm? Little ol' me? I have my tricks, don't worry." Loki waved his hand. "Seriously, though, were you about to have some fun?"
"No. Just trying not to feel...crushed."
A brief flicker of understanding filled Loki's face, but then his usual smirk returned. "Well, give me a moment." He vanished, then returned, holding out a shirt. "Nicked it from the laundry. Hope you like it." He tossed it to Masayi.
Masayi held it to his face and took a deep breath. It was Hanni and Hanni was home. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. I've got something else for you." Loki held out his hand and on it a flask appeared. "Ambrosia wine. A gift fit for a god."
Masayi slowly put his feet down and met Loki's eyes. There was...a wall there. Why couldn't he read this god? He sometimes couldn't read Hanni, but it wasn't like this. When he looked at Loki, he could see lies. He could see that Loki was a liar, a trickster, but everyone knew that. Why couldn't he see more than that? It was like the god built a wall out of lies to keep himself safe. Masayi stood and narrowed his eyes. There was a flicker of something there.
"Stop it!" Loki protested. "It's no fun if you know too much."
"Ah, that's it." Masayi realized. Loki was using magic to cover his eyes. They were flat because he put a flat image over them so Masayi couldn't truly see him. "I'm guessing you're softer than you'd like people to know. Yes, you like your fun, but you...you care."
"Finish that thought and I won't give you this." Loki said looking at the flask.
"What is it?" Masayi asked.
"Ambrosia wine, as I said. But...with a kick."
Masayi stepped forward and took the flask, opening it. He took a whiff of it. He knew magic when he smelled it. This was powerful magic. "And what does this 'kick' do, exactly?" He closed the flask.
"Whatever it is you want it to." Loki grinned. "I do not have magic powerful enough to save you from your curse. But that will...give you an edge. You just have to choose what edge to give yourself."
"Explain it like I'm a child." Masayi said, raising an eyebrow. He knew magic. Magic was temperamental. Problematic. Shit backfired all the time. The best magicians had an extreme amount of control. Loki, while appearing silly, laid back, and almost vapid, must have had an extraordinary amount of single-minded focus and control. Loki almost looked ditzy to the average person, but under it, he was very calm and he knew exactly what he wanted and knew how to get it.
Masayi's mother was cold as ice. She always knew what she was doing. Always in control. Always perfect. That is what made her so perfect. She WAS magic. So she WAS control and precision. She was in control over all that she did. That's why it pissed her off so bad when other people didn't do what she wanted. Didn't conform to her world order.
Mahō-no-Joō, the queen of magic, did not like when things weren't under her command. Loki spurned her affections, she killed his mate. Daughter doesn't conform to her will? She turned her to stone. Njord refuses to give her further children, for fear of the pain she would inflict on them. He's cast into a pit away from all that he loves, including his children he wished to protect. Masayi flees her control. Masayi actually finds peace, happiness, true joy. Feelings that Mahō-no-Joō could not find for herself. As soon as she found him, she cursed him to unhappiness.
She would always have control, but it wasn't enough. She wanted control over everyone. She found no joy in her own life, she suffered for her cold cruelty, and punished anyone who could find joy in life. She could only find happiness by spreading her own pain.
Masayi had learned a lot about magic and control from her. He knew he'd have to be in control of whatever spell was in that wine. To do that, he needed to understand it and its purpose.
Loki leaned forward. "What do you know about magic?"
"My mother is magic. I know some. She didn't like to share power or knowledge. But she didn't want me to leave. I can see a lot of things, or at least, I used to. I need control, so I need to understand what this is for." He held up the flask. "Tell me the truth."
"I can't get the spell off of you, but I can wiggle through it a bit. There's a drop of the water in it."
"WHAT?! That was meant to help us kill her! Why would you waste it?"
Loki held up a hand. "Calm down. The spell I gave Hannibal will make her weak as a kitten for two days. You'll have plenty of time to torture her however you please. But, this is to help you get started." He pointed to the flask. "We need to make your next life perfect. A trap for her. I want you to suffer so pretty that she can't resist getting close. I want you to be so broken, but a killer too. If Hannibal tries to corner her, even in her disguise, she'll be worried. Sure, she'll dance close to you. She always has. She may even be bold, wanting to taste both of your pain, she'll draw close. But Hannibal can't make the move. You have to." Loki plucked the flask and shook it gently. "This is for you to drink, right before you return to life. Speak one trait to it, focus on that trait, and it will be yours in your human life."
"You're...giving me a way to create someone...create myself. Make a lure... How can I do that with one trait? How can I both torment myself and create what a human would define as a monster at the same time? With one trait?"
Loki shrugged. "That's up for you to decide. I got this tiny loophole. You know yourself best, Masayi. You've seen what you become when you're human, when you forget your true self. What remains of you when she wipes your mind clear?"
"It's overwhelming. I can still read people, see what they are. I understand them. I empathize with them. I can both feel for them and almost become them. And I have a strong sense of justice. I want things to be just. I can't stand injustice."
"In most lives you kill, right?" Loki asked. "You are capable of killing."
"So long as it's just. It's not a problem." Masayi said. "But...I need to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. I need to be broken. How can my very basest instincts be turned into something that breaks me? I want her attention and nothing grabs it more than suffering."
"You have time, Masayi. Think of the one thing that will break a human version of yourself. What will make you fall apart? And when you feel your life being tugged back up there, think of that and drink. That trait will be with you." He handed the flask to Masayi and folded his fingers around it. "Hold the word in your mind as you consume the whole thing. Think of nothing else, but that word."
"It has to be something that haunt me. Something that will turn me against myself."
"You figure it out and you become the man who kills Mahō-no-Joō." Loki walked forward, uncomfortably close. His lips pulled up in a smirk. "I'm rooting for you. Remember me when you're pulling her apart. I'll take a taste, if your mate is cooking. And save me some of her blood too, won't you?"
Masayi knew he wanted her blood for some sort of spell, but given how helpful the trickster had been... "Yes. I won't forget. I am justice. I'll make sure we do right by you, just as you did for us."
Loki grinned and patted Masayi's ass. "Thank you, love. Well, the air's a bit stale down here for my taste. And, quite honestly, it's exhausting holding the spell to keep me here. Do enjoy Hanni's shirt. I'll let him know you found pleasure in it." Loki winked.
"Oh, don't be so crass." Masayi said, but his face turned red.
Loki laughed and vanished.
-
For years, Masayi kept the flask on him, staring at it, hoping to figure out what trait he needed. With Persephone, Masayi sent a letter to Hannibal. Asking what one thing would break a human version of himself prettily.
When Persephone came back. She had a piece of parchment with a single word on it.
Masayi looked at it and he smiled.
He and Hanni truly were a perfect match.
-
Years turned to decades in the underworld. But Masayi was ready. He wanted to do this.
This time, they'd be ready.
He counted the years since his last death.
Thirty-seven years. Thirty-seven years since he'd last died. Thirty-seven years since he'd been with his lover.
Then, he felt the tug. He was going to live again.
He tore the flask from his pocket and opened it. With a deep breath, he cleared his mind, even of the discomfort of being pulled back to life.
One word. He let it echo in his mind and lifted the flask to his lips. He downed the wine in three gulps. One word on his mind. One thing that would break a human version of him. One thing that would split him in two. Trap him between knowledge and justice. Warp him, leave him both a fragile creature and one capable of horrible (by human standards) things. Just one word. A single thing that could split a cavern between justice and knowledge. Something that would send him spiraling between good and evil, darkness and light. Such dilemmas didn't truly exist for a god of justice. But for a human? Humans were a bit more complex. One thing would shred him apart, though.
Knowledge and justice would tell him that it felt good to hurt bad people. His mind could pick out bad people and his justice would purr at stopping them. He'd always been like that. But humans had a different mind than a god. He needed a dose of their confusion.
He needed all his godly instincts turned against him.
One word: Morality.