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Chapter Text

'Sirius! Sirius, over here!'

'James! Sirius! Come on, lads! Just one photo!'

'James, when are you and Lily going to confirm your engagement?'

'Sirius! Is it true you and Selena Marks are dating?'

'Sirius! Do you think my arse looks big in this?'

Sirius shot a disbelieving look over his shoulder at the skinny, shabbily-dressed reporter who'd almost screamed the last question in his ear. The man grinned cheekily at him then a flash went off in Sirius' face. Realising he'd fallen right into the other man's trap, Sirius shot the reporter the filthiest look he could muster. The man's grin widened and he winked at Sirius before raising the camera once more. Sirius quickly ducked his head and almost fell headfirst into the back of the waiting limo.

'Go,' he snapped at the driver as he lurched into the seat. 'For the love of God, go!'

He was thrown back against the leather seat as the limo jerked into motion and grumbled discontentedly to himself as he fumbled with his seat belt. A chuckle made his head shoot up and he glared furiously at his companion.

'Shut. Up.'

'You always fall for it,' James Potter laughed, shaking his head at his friend. 'He always manages to get you to look. What did he ask this time?'

Sirius mumbled something unintelligible under his breath and James' grin grew.

'Sorry? Didn't catch that?' he teased, leaning towards Sirius. He knew the more evasive Sirius was, the better the reporter's question had been.

Sirius huffily crossed his arms over his chest and said through gritted teeth, 'He asked if his arse looked big in what he was wearing.'

James chortled and Sirius threw a half-full bottle of water at him. 'It's not funny!'

'It's bloody hilarious, mate,' James retorted, pulling out his phone and with a few jabs of the buttons, pulled up his messages. 'I can't believe, after all these months he's been following us around, that you still can't manage to ignore him.'

'He's just so… 'Sirius waved his calloused hands around, trying to find the correct description for the paparazzo that had been practically stalking the members of The Marauders for the last six months.

'… Hot? Cute? Fuckable?' James suggested, thumb busy punching in a text message while he smirked.

'Annoying,' Sirius said darkly, narrowing his eyes at James when his phone beeped. 'A personality quirk you both share.'

James snorted and, after a quick glance at the message, snapped his phone shut. 'Peter and Lily want you to know that you are a knob and that they are planning on mercilessly taking the piss out of you when we get back to the hotel.'

'Why do you feel the need to tell them everything?' Sirius moaned, closing his eyes at the thought of the ribbing he was going to get for allowing the journalist to catch his attention yet again.

'So they can share in the fun, of course,' James said, reclining in the seat and crossing his arms behind his head. 'Besides, they'll see the photos in the paper tomorrow.'

He contemplated Sirius for a long moment then asked, 'You are so good at ignoring the rest of them. Why do you let him get under your guard?'

Sirius frowned. 'I don't do it deliberately,' Sirius insisted, irritated by James' skeptical expression. 'He is just… always there and always manages to bloody surprise me with those stupid questions…'

'Did his arse look big in what he was wearing?' James asked slyly, and Sirius kicked out with his foot, catching James' shin with his booted toe.

'I didn't look,' Sirius snapped, crossing his legs loosely. 'He's a bloody journalist, James. If I looked, it would be all over the front page that the lead singer and guitarist of the internationally acclaimed band, The Marauders, was a flaming fucking queer.'

'Er – you are a flaming fucking queer,' James reminded him and Sirius pouted.

'I'm bisexual,' he corrected pointedly. 'And I prefer to keep that on a need to know basis.'

'Need to know being the moment after you bend a bloke over the speakers backstage but before you stick your cock in his arse?'

'Something like that.'

James tsked at him and Sirius rolled his eyes. 'I am aware of your disapproval of my lifestyle choices,' Sirius said wearily, having listened to James' lectures on the perils of casual sex enough to have memorized them. 'And you know that I find your own path equally as distasteful.'

'Yes, I recall how horrified you were by my decision to settle down with the one woman,' James said dryly then he shook his head despairingly. 'Sirius, one day, all this sneaky fucking around is going to come back and bite you on the arse.'

Sirius stared at his friend, recognizing the note of concern under the biting tone. He refused to acknowledge the little flame of uncertainty that flared to life in his gut and tossed his head, his shoulder-length black hair whipping around his face.

'Bite me on the arse?' he said, leering at James and wriggling his eyebrows. 'That sounds like fun to me.'

James made a huffing noise and pulled his phone out again.

Remus tapped the mouse pad on his laptop, choosing the best photographs of Sirius Black and James Potter to email out to various publications along with his brief account of the men's most recent activities. There would be the usual flurried bidding war, the photographs would go to the highest bidder, and Remus' landlord would be off his back for the next couple of months.

Remus added the name of the final recipient to the email then clicked send. 'And the winner of biggest whore goes to Remus Lupin,' he muttered, scowling at the screen of the laptop as the words Message Sent popped up. 'This is not going to win me a British Press Award.'

He slumped back into his chair, reaching for his open beer and gulping down the last warm mouthful. This was not the career he'd envisioned having when he graduated from university five years earlier. He'd had big plans: start off with one of the smaller newspapers to get some valuable, practical experience in the field, then he would dazzle one of the larger papers with a pithy and in depth report on… something interesting… and be the youngest recipient of every journalism award there was going.

But instead, he was freelancing because any permanent position he was offered only paid enough to either feed him or keep the leaky roof over his head. He wasn't investigating political corruption, or bringing down corporations that conned little old ladies and poor families out of their homes and life savings. He wasn't saving the world one keystroke at a time.

Instead, he was chasing mediocre rock stars around London hoping for a photo of them shooting up, or shagging some other celebrity, or just fucking up in some embarrassing way so that he could immortalize the moment on film. He would then prostitute himself – letting the highest bidder fuck his conscience raw – and get to eat baked beans and sausages in his shitty flat with the leaking roof for another day.

He'd fallen more than slightly short of his life goals.

Remus placed his bottle down on the kitchen table with a clunk and minimized his email account. The screen was now filled with thumbnails of the photographs he'd taken over the last few days and Remus' hand seemed to move of its own accord, directing the cursor towards the frame filled with black hair and pale skin.

Sirius Black.

Remus smirked at the photograph that now filled the screen. Sirius Black – lead guitarist and singer for The Marauders - caught staring with a mixture of disbelief and annoyance right down the lens of the camera. The rags he'd sent this to were going to be bitch-slapping each other trying to buy this shot. Sirius was rarely caught without his carefully created public persona firmly in place; the man seemed to have an uncanny ability to know exactly where the press would be and how to avoid letting them get an unflattering shot of him.

But it appeared that Remus Lupin had somehow managed to become the exception to the rule.

Remus' hand moved again, swiftly transferring the photograph to a file of pictures titled 'Sirius Black' then clicked on the slide show option. Eyes on the screen as each photo scrolled past, he stretched his arm across the tiny space between his kitchen table and the fridge, and opened the door, pulling out the last bottle of beer and popping the lid. He watched with a frown as photos of the top of Sirius' head floated past then suddenly… there!

His hand shot out and paused the barrage of photographs on a shot of Sirius' face, his lips parted in surprise and grey eyes wide. Remus put his beer down carefully then leaned forward, his face in his hands and elbows planted either side of the laptop. Sirius Black had dueling reputations amongst Remus' peers: some called him difficult, moaning that his arrogance and sense of entitlement made interviews with him agonizing, but others had practically swooned after meeting him, proclaiming him to be the most charming person they'd ever had the good fortune to meet. Sirius Black, it seemed, was an enigma, a chameleon. Few had managed to get much past the steely façade and no one had ever done more than simply scratch the surface of the man underneath.

And that made him incredibly fascinating to the journalist in Remus.

He touched a fingertip to the screen. No matter what he personally thought about Sirius Black as a person, as an artist, Remus couldn't deny that he was one hell of a beautiful man, and that very much appealed to the sex-starved part of Remus.

Remus traced the outline of Sirius' jaw then brushed his finger lightly over the curve of the slightly quirked lips. He wasn't a fan of The Marauders' style of music – too much noise and not enough focus on actual rhythm for Remus' taste – but Sirius was without doubt a talented, charismatic man who had been born to be a star and played the public and the press like a finely tuned instrument.

Perhaps that was why Remus took so much satisfaction in being the one who had managed to break that famed control.

He sank back into his chair and lifted his drink to his mouth. Stalking Sirius Black might not have made him his fortune, or brought him the respect of his peers, but it was proving to be a hell of a lot of fun.

Sirius slammed his bedroom door and stalked across the living area to the suite's kitchenette. Peter Pettigrew put down his newspaper and watched Sirius open and close every cupboard door then wrench open the refrigerator door and stare moodily into its depths.

'You've seen the paper then?'

'Fucking journalists should be fucking shot and hung up by their bollocks.'

'I'll take that as a yes.'

Sirius shut the fridge door harder than necessary then collapsed into the armchair opposite Peter. 'You are not to let me go out in public alone,' he said firmly, pointing a finger at Peter. 'You must carry a cattle prod at all times and poke me with it if it looks like I'm going to give this Lupin bloke another shot of me looking like a vacant bloody knob. Poke. Me. Hard!'

Peter exhaled in amusement and gave the newspaper a shake before he lifted it once more. 'And the photo of that should buy Lupin a condo on the Riviera.'

Sirius scowled. 'At least he'd be out of my hair there,' he muttered.

Peter closed the newspaper and folded it in half. 'You realise we have a press conference this afternoon to promote the new album?' he reminded Sirius who immediately closed his eyes and groaned as if in excruciating pain.

'God, he's going to be there and he's going to ask me what colour underwear I'm wearing, or if I'm a natural brunette and embarrass me in front of the fucking world!' he wailed.

Peter looked thoughtful. 'Hasn't he already asked you if you were a natural brunette?' he asked. 'I think the photo of that reaction got him on the front page.'

'It was a slow news day,' Sirius snapped then he heaved a loud, put-upon sigh. 'Why can't he pick on one of you for a change?'

Peter pushed himself to his feet. 'Because you are such an easy target,' he teased then reached across the coffee table to slap Sirius over the head with the newspaper. 'And because you're soooo pretty!'

'Oh, so now I'm being literally and metaphorically beaten by those rags,' Sirius said, fending off Peter's second blow and snatching the paper out of his hands. 'And I'm not pretty. I'm fucking stunning, mate.'

'Mm, maybe he fancies your stunning self?' Peter said, tousling Sirius' carefully groomed hair.

'He's got a funny way of trying to get into my pants then,' Sirius retorted, slapping Peter's hand away. 'Public humiliation isn't really my thing.'

'Yet you still get up on stage thinking you can sing,' Peter said in a pitying tone then he laughed as he ducked out of the way of Sirius' swinging fist.

A sharp series of raps on the door broke up their playful fisticuffs, and Sirius sprawled across the soft armchair as Peter disappeared up the hall. The familiar staccato beat of stiletto heels on the tiled floor made him shoot upright once more, plastering a broad smile on his face as he turned to greet their visitor.

'Alice! Beautiful, gorgeous, love of my life…'

'You are going to that press conference, Sirius,' Alice Longbottom said as she breezed past Sirius, her eyes never leaving her black electronic organizer. 'I don't care how those big bad journalists scare you; this is your bread and butter. Without those…'

'Vultures?' Sirius suggested when Alice, distracted by her organizer, paused.

'… reporters,' Alice said, continuing as if Sirius hadn't interrupted, 'you would have no publicity for the launch of the new album which means that no one would know it had been released which would rather negatively affect sales.'

She shut her organizer with a loud snick and looked up at Sirius for the first time with a brisk smile. 'And we must keep you in leather trousers somehow. Irritating journos who manage to get under your skin are the price you pay for those – admittedly rather fetching – perks.'

She looked over Sirius' head, and her smile softened. 'Thanks, Peter,' she murmured coyly, and Sirius was startled by the change from ball-breaker to ingénue. He looked from Alice to Peter – who was flushing a light pink as he handed their blonde manager a cup of coffee – and rolled his eyes.

'God, you're all at it,' he muttered under his breath then he groaned when he caught Peter's silent but insistent hand gestures that Sirius took to mean 'get the hell out'. He begrudgingly rolled off the chair and staggered to his feet. 'I know when I'm not wanted…'

Alice snorted delicately, and Peter chuckled. Sirius made a face and snatched his leather jacket off the back of the seat where he'd thrown it the night before.

'I'm going to visit James and Lily in their suite…'

'Oh, I wouldn't,' Alice piped up, crossing her rather remarkable legs and taking a tiny sip of the coffee. 'They asked not to be disturbed. Having a lie in.'

Sirius swore then, after another of Peter's non-verbal hints, he sighed. 'I'll just…' He waved his hands vaguely. '… go somewhere else. Maybe get some breakfast...'

'You do that,' Peter encouraged before turning to grin at Alice.

Sirius could barely hold back a sarcastic remark at the sight of Peter's fawning expression and hastily left the room before his control snapped.

He made his way to the hotel restaurant; his progress slowed by a group of middle-aged women who recognized him. He signed some autographs and smiled for a few quick photographs, trying to ignore his stomach's increasingly loud objections to such a late breakfast. As he reached the lobby, Sirius noticed that there were still a few photographers lingering outside and mentally kicked himself when he realised he was searching for a glimpse of the annoyingly persistent Remus Lupin.

Annoyingly persistent and cute.

Sirius grimaced at the rogue thought then greeted the concierge who swiftly organized a table at the back of the restaurant behind a privacy screen so Sirius could eat in peace. He placed his order - scrambled egg whites with mushrooms and coffee (he had to make certain he fit into those leather pants) – and sat back in his chair, absently people watching through the silk screen.

He was accustomed to this life now: being recognized wherever he went, having his every move watched and cataloged by the press, not being able to get through a meal without having to sign an autograph. Sometimes, though, he felt disconnected from the rest of the world, as if The Marauders was its own little universe and stepping out in public was like visiting a parallel universe where everything was identical, but just an inch further to the left.

He wasn't comfortable being himself in this world anymore. Not when his ridiculously expressive face would reveal every single emotion he was experiencing at any given moment. Not when every stupid mistake or broken heart would be splashed across every newspaper stand in the Western world to be consumed over a morning coffee along with all the other celebrity gossip of the day.

That was why he created The Mask.

James had decided Sirius' public face needed capitalization, joking that The Mask appeared so often that it should have official status as their fifth band member. It was the device Sirius employed so he could keep just a little bit of himself for himself. He'd learned how to lock away all the notes and chords and lyrics that were the soundtrack of his life. He let the public see little glimpses of it in his music, on stage, in film clips, but only what he chose to let them see. He was paranoid that if he let all the other shit – the speculation, the gossip, the fame – get past his protection, it would infect him. It would take the only thing he had left that was his and his alone, and he would lose himself.

And that was why he hated Remus Lupin - because that damnable man with his tatty jeans and permanently wind-blown hair and cheeky smile had managed to crack through Sirius' carefully constructed armour.

Sirius sighed heavily then smiled at the nervous looking waiter as he approached with his breakfast. He eyed the other man's arse in those tight black slacks as he departed then dug his fork into the fluffy mound of eggs. He was nearly done when he was startled out of his thoughts be a cheery greeting.

'Morning!'

Sirius looked up, automatically plastering on a smile, only to have it fall from his face almost immediately.

'You!'

Chapter Text

Remus Lupin grinned at Sirius Black then, with a loud scraping sound, pulled out a chair and sat down. Sirius was staring at him with an open mouth and Remus' smile broadened.

'Is the food any good here?' he asked, leaning over and plucking a menu from the next table. 'I've not eaten yet and thanks to you, I can actually afford this place today.'

His words seemed to rouse Sirius from his temporary fugue and his surprised expression morphed into that of anger. 'What the hell are you doing in here?' Sirius hissed, glaring at Remus. 'Journalists were told to stay outside…'

'How do you know I'm not a guest here?' Remus asked archly, as he casually crossed his legs. Sirius raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side, his gaze dropping to take in Remus' faded black t-shirt, baggy jeans and trainers.

'I'm stunned they even let you through the front door in that get up,' Sirius snapped, his eyes now roaming the eating area, obviously searching for a member of the wait staff.

'Ah, but I came in the back door,' admitted Remus, closing the menu and looking at Sirius' mostly empty plate. 'What did you have? Was it good?'

Sirius shook his head in disbelief. 'You have got one fucking massive set of balls,' he said, a little touch of awe in his voice, and Remus laughed.

'You've met my ex-boyfriend then? He used to say that all the time…'

'What do you want?' Sirius interrupted snappishly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Remus cocked his head, wondering if the light flush across Sirius' cheeks was anger or embarrassment.

God, he's fucking adorable when he blushes. Come on, Remus, focus. You have a goal here, remember?

It had occurred to him late last night that sooner rather than later, Sirius would become immune to the shock of hearing such disingenuous questions shouted out at him, and that he would soon be just another pap desperate for a photo. He had to use this tiny bit of power he had over Sirius while he was still able to wield it. He knew what a no-holds barred interview with Sirius Black would fetch him in pounds, and what it could do for him professionally. And for that, it was worth giving up what had rather worrisomely become one of Remus' favourite past times… watching Sirius.

'I want your time,' he answered curtly, steadfastly avoiding looking to see if that blush extended into Sirius' shirt. 'Two whole days following you around. No pre-approval of questions. I get to ask whatever my heart desires, and you have to answer. Truthfully preferably, but I can work with a lie if you don't mind it coming back to haunt you later on.'

Sirius reached out for his coffee and quickly downed the dregs like he was wishing it was a shot of vodka. 'You bastards don't have hearts,' he muttered then he let out a sharp humorless bark. 'You must be out of your fucking mind if you think I am going to agree to that.'

Remus brazenly picked up Sirius' discarded fork and scooped up a mouthful of the now-cold eggs, shoving it in his mouth while Sirius stared at him incredulously. He chewed slowly, trying to ignore his recoiling taste buds that didn't appreciate the taste of cold eggs, and watched Sirius stew.

Sirius was fidgeting in his chair, eyes darting around the room, then he sighed and closed his eyes. 'If – and that is one hell of an if – I consider your proposal, what's in this for me?' he asked, opening his eyes and looking directly into Remus'. He held Remus' gaze as he leaned in closer, resting his forearms on the table, and Remus' mouth went a little dry. 'What could you possibly have that I would be interested in, Remus Lupin?'

And fuck, if his name didn't sound like poetry sliding out from between those lips.

Remus swallowed hard, the eggs feeling as though they were grating down the length of his suddenly dry throat. He coughed into a curled fist, trying to buy some time to disentangle himself from the powerful web of arousal he'd walked straight into. He hadn't expected Sirius to actually know his name.

'You know my name,' he said out loud then coughed once more when he heard how husky his voice was.

'It's in the corner of every single photograph of me you've sold,' Sirius said, narrowing his eyes. 'I've managed to find out quite a lot about you, Mr. Lupin. Know thine enemy.'

'I'll leave you alone,' Remus said simply, trying to regain the upper hand by being as forthright as possible. He mirrored Sirius' pose, trying not to flinch away from that probing, grey gaze. 'I will stop ambushing you. Cease and desist all stalking. Scouts' honour.'

There was a flicker of… something… that Remus didn't expect across Sirius' face. Was that… regret? Disappointment? Remus felt the corner of his mouth turn up. Maybe Sirius had been enjoying their game as much as Remus had. 'That is… if you want me to stop,' he said slowly.

Sirius' jaw tensed as he looked down at his plate. 'Of course I want you to leave me alone,' he said, low and soft, and Remus couldn't discern any kind of emotion. 'But there are plenty more of you out there.' He gestured towards the front of the hotel and the rapidly growing gaggle of reporters.

Remus let the smile that had been threatening to bleed through. 'Yes, but none of them are managing to get a salable photograph of you every single time you step outside.'

When Sirius looked up, there was no mistaking the emotion that burned in those grey eyes, turning them mercurial. Sirius Black was furious.

'This is fucking blackmail,' he ground out through clenched teeth, and Remus frowned.

'No,' he said with a shake of his head. 'In return for an interview, I leave you alone, and you get a hell of a lot of publicity for your new album. It's hardly blackmail if you're getting something out of it as well.'

'An interview where no subject is off limits,' Sirius spat, balling up the linen napkin and throwing it onto the table. He pushed his chair out as he stood, glaring down at Remus. 'I'll take my chances with the bull run, Mr. Lupin. No deal.'

Remus stood quickly as Sirius edged around the table to leave. He grabbed the other man's arm, the slick, warm leather of his jacket soft under his fingers. Sirius glanced down at his hand then his gaze rose to Remus' face.

'Here,' Remus said quickly, before Sirius could either yell and bring hotel security running, or thump him. He held up a business card between two fingers then tucked it into the pocket of Sirius' jacket. 'My phone number. Just in case you change your mind.'

'I won't,' Sirius said quietly, looking pointedly down at Remus' hand, and Remus hastily released him.

'Well, you could always call just to say hi,' he joked, and despite Sirius' obvious irritation, a corner of his mouth turned up in amusement.

'You are a complete nutter,' he murmured and Remus laughed.

'A complete nutter, who you are keeping in scrambled eggs at the moment,' Remus said, pinching another mouthful of eggs off Sirius' plate. 'Think about it.'

'God, don't eat like a bloody tramp off my plate,' Sirius muttered, screwing up his nose. 'If you weren't such a damn pest, I'd buy you breakfast.'

Remus cocked an eyebrow. 'Would you now?' he asked flirtatiously and was astonished to see Sirius' eyes widen and his face flush.

'Your offer has been rejected,' Sirius said bluntly, taking a step back. 'And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't approach me again like this. I'd hate to have to apply for a restraining order, but I will.'

Then he spun on his booted heel and stalked away, Remus watching with an open mouth and alarms going off in his head. He fell back into his chair, exhaling sharply as his mind raced. Sirius' response to Remus' gentle flirting hadn't been disgust or annoyance; he had panicked, and that kind of reaction to same-sex flirting was one Remus had some experience with. His story sensors were tingling and his gaydar was screeching like a drag queen with a broken fingernail.

A slow smile spread across Remus' face. 'Jesus,' he murmured to himself. 'Sirius Black is in the closet.'

Sirius' mouth dropped open as he stared at his manager in shock. He'd been ranting for a good twenty minutes about Lupin's audacity only to be stunned into a stupor by Alice's unforeseen reaction.

'What did you say?' he asked, sure he'd misheard.

Alice glanced at Peter, James and Lily and rolled her eyes before turning her gaze back to Sirius. 'I said that I think you should do it,' she repeated, enunciating the words carefully. 'A rare, in-depth interview would generate great publicity for the album. I'm sure we could get Lupin to agree to some restrictions, and it would get him off your back which, as an added bonus for us, will end your obsessive paranoia when it comes to this man.'

Sirius just gaped at her and she sighed heavily. 'God, give me strength,' she muttered, looking up to the heavens. 'Sirius, I know you value your privacy, but surely you see that your insistence on giving no information about your personal life just makes people all the more curious about it.'

'It's no one's fucking business what I do on my own time!'

'I know it should be that way,' Alice said soothingly but with a slight edge underpinning her words, 'but it isn't. I warned all of you when I took you on that you would be giving up all semblance of privacy if you chose this life for yourselves. The others have managed to strike a balance with how much personal information they reveal, but you, Sirius… you are determined not to let the public have anything of you.'

'Our fans know so much about me it's bloody frightening,' Sirius snarled. He stood up, unable to keep still while his manager attacked him like this.

'Mate, they know the basic stuff, the superficial stuff,' James said, standing and moving to stand in front of Sirius, bringing his pacing to a halt. 'But they want more, you know that. Especially from you because you're up front. You're the first person everyone sees, that everyone thinks of when they think of The Marauders, and you're the one they want more of.'

'Well, they can't have it,' Sirius said sulkily. 'I don't see how knowing where I write, or my routine before a concert, or who I'm shagging is anyone else's business.'

'It's their business because they made you,' Alice snapped, getting to her feet. 'And they can break you. This Lupin bloke might be the first to take this approach, but he won't be the last, Sirius. Or what about when one of your… indiscretions talks and all this secrecy blows up in your face?'

'They wouldn't…'

Peter shook his head. 'We keep telling you not to shag the roadies, Sirius. If one of them gets pissed off with you one day…'

'That's why they sign confidentiality agreements, Peter,' Sirius sneered, curling his lip. 'Anything that happens on the road, stays on the road.'

'Confidentially agreements have been broken before, sweetheart,' Lily said, quiet and gentle, drawing Sirius' eyes to her. 'The notoriety they'll get for being the one to out Sirius Black might prove too tempting for one of them one day.'

Sirius tightened his lips and shoved his hands in his pockets, unable to be as cruel as he wanted to the quietly spoken woman. He turned away from the group, bitter resentment longing to spill over. They didn't understand. They couldn't. None of them had fought like he did for this. None of them struggled like he did; having to listen as everything he'd ever felt, every thought he'd ever had, spilled out on stage night after night, rang out from radios and stereos everywhere they went. He fisted his hands in his jacket, firming his resolve. The public already had enough of him; they weren't getting any more.

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence then perpetual peacemaker Peter piped up. 'We should get ready for the press conference, shouldn't we?'

'Yes,' Alice said efficiently, glancing down at her watch. 'We'll start letting the press into the conference room in about half an hour.' There was a knock on the door and she made an impatient noise in her throat before striding off to answer it.

'Sirius…' James began, but Sirius held up his hand in a 'leave it' gesture. He heard James' frustrated sigh before Alice's heels heralded her return.

'For you,' she said grimly, handing the opened envelope and note to Sirius. 'You may want to reconsider your little friend's deal.'

Sirius flicked open the folded letter, his frown deepening when he read the contents.

Sirius,

Thought you might like a preview of the questions I plan on asking at the press conference today so you can prepare your answers.

What is your favourite lyric from the new album and what inspired you to write it?
Why won't you come out of the closet? Are you ashamed of who you are?
What's your favourite cartoon character?

What do you think? I like number 3 myself, but one of the others might be more newsworthy.

You've got my phone number if you feel like saying hi.

Remus Lupin

'That fucker!'

Sirius read through the note twice, colour draining from his face, before clenching his fist and crumpling the paper. He looked up at Alice who pursed her lips.

'Is he guessing or does he have firsthand knowledge of your preferences?' she asked stonily.

Sirius heard Lily hiss and James and Peter curse quietly as they realized what the letter contained.

'He's guessing,' Sirius retorted harshly, nostrils flaring as he met Alice's fierce gaze with one of his own. 'I'm not stupid enough to hit on male journalists while they are trying to blackmail me.'

Alice's snort revealed her opinion of Sirius' intelligence might not be as high as his own, and she rapped her fingernails on the plastic casing of her organizer before flipping it open.

'We have almost an hour and a half before the press conference is due to begin,' she said, tapping at the screen with a tiny pen then looking up at Sirius. 'I assume you aren't going to want to make a statement in regards to your sexuality today?'

Sirius stared incredulously at her then glanced over at the trio on the couch who all avoided his eye. He frowned and looked from one to the other. 'You think I should?' he asked, taken aback by their unusual silence.

Peter and Lily looked at James who made an annoyed noise in his throat before he stood up. 'Maybe it is time to tell the truth, Sirius,' he said cajolingly, Lily and Peter nodding supportively behind him.

'I've never lied!' Sirius roared, and James' face darkened.

'You've never been honest either!' he shouted back. 'We've all told you that you should just stop hiding it and make a statement, but nooo, Sirius Black knows best. This bloke isn't just threatening you, Sirius. The whole album release would be completely overshadowed by your personal life if he decides to out you. Did you stop and think about how this might affect us before you made unilateral decisions that concern the band?'

'Who I fuck has got nothing to do with any of you!' Sirius yelled.

'Stop being so bloody obtuse!' Peter said loudly, stepping up to stand beside James. 'Who you fuck does reflect back on all of us, and it's about damn time you started accepting that. You can't keep going on hiding behind The Mask, Sirius. Someone has seen through it, and you're going to have to deal with that. With him.'

The three men stood, hands on hips, glaring at each other until Alice stepped between them.

'Alright,' she said, making a gesture for James and Peter to sit down. 'Put your testosterone away, boys. Alice will fix this.'

Sirius looked at her, anger and fear bubbling like hot, molten lava inside. He wanted to scream, to hit, to hurt, and he was shaking with the suppressed desires.

'How will you fix this?' he asked, horrified when he heard how badly his voice was shaking.

Alice put her organizer away and pulled out her mobile phone. 'Give me that card he gave you,' she said, holding out her hand, a look of steely determination on her face. 'I think it's time we sat down for a chat with Mr. Lupin.'

Chapter Text

Remus stood outside the hotel room, willing the butterflies in his stomach away. He glanced down once more at the message in his hand: the note from Sirius Black's manager that had found its way into his hand minutes before The Marauders' press conference began.

Mr. Lupin,

Mr. Black has agreed to discuss your earlier proposition with you, on the condition that you ask no questions at the press conference this afternoon. I understand that you may feel disinclined to agree to this condition, but I think you would agree that the possible return is well worth the investment of trust.

Come to Suite 02 at 5pm and we can discuss terms.

Alice Longbottom

He had remained silent during the press conference, eyes fixed on a blank-faced Sirius Black as he answered questions in a monotone. Not once did his eyes meet Remus' and, when it was over, Sirius was the first off the stage.

Now, Remus scratched uneasily at his calf with his foot, guilt twanging unpleasantly in his gut. 'What am I doing?' he mumbled, screwing his nose up in distaste at his recent actions. 'This isn't me. This isn't what I want to do with my life.'

But as he was about to turn away, his stomach growled – he'd been too nervous to eat lunch – and he was reminded of how very far just this one interview could take him, how it could give him some long-term security instead of living from photograph to photograph to pay his rent, or relying on small time reporting gigs to put food on the table.

'It's just two days,' he told himself. 'It won't be so bad. Just two days out of his life then he's free of me.'

And why did the thought of not seeing Sirius Black on a regular basis make his chest tighten just that little bit?

Shoving aside the disturbing little flashes of realisation that were attempting to push through to the forefront of his mind, Remus raised his arm and knocked decisively. The door was opened almost immediately by Sirius' blonde, thirty-something manager, the clear disapproval on her face startling Remus into taking a step back.

'You are late, Mr. Lupin,' she admonished sternly, reminding him of his mother for a long, frightening moment. 'Try not to make that a habit.'

Remus took a swift look at his watch. 'I'm two minutes late,' he said defensively then wished he hadn't when her manner – already cool – turned positively frosty.

'We run to a tight schedule, Mr. Lupin,' she said, biting off the end of each word. 'It would behoove you to ensure you do the same should you become an invited guest of Mr. Black.'

Remus repressed the urge to shuffle his feet and call this woman who was scarcely five years his senior 'ma'am'. He settled for nodding, slightly shamefaced, and obediently trailed behind her when she made an imperious gesture for him to do so. From under his eyelashes, he snuck quick glances around the suite, realising approximately three steps inside the hallway that he was definitely not in Kansas anymore. Money and class practically oozed from every single surface and Remus tried very hard not to feel inferior in the sand-coloured trousers that were fashionable two seasons ago, and his well-worn blue dress shirt.

They came out into a light, airy room. The first thing Remus' eyes fell upon was the view of London at dusk through the bank of windows on the far side of the room. The sky was clear for a change, gold and pink interwoven through the dull grey of twilight.

'Wow,' he whispered as he took an involuntary step forward, entranced by the sight of his hometown as he'd never seen it before.

'It's breathtaking isn't it?' a very male voice said softly.

Remus started, his head swiveling sharply to his left to take in another spectacular view – Sirius Black reclining on a green suede lounge. His ankle was loosely crossed over his knee, his arms resting casually along the armrest and the back of the couch. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a plain white tee, his dark hair a stark contrast as it brushed his broad shoulders, and his feet were bare.

Christ, the man was fucking gorgeous.

'Mr. Lupin,' Sirius said in greeting, uncrossing his legs and standing, the only indicator of his mood were his hands which were clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Remus glanced quickly at Alice Longbottom who had taken a seat in an armchair and was tapping at one of those electronic organizers then lifted his chin and met Sirius' eye.

'Mr. Black,' he replied with a nod, mimicking Sirius' pleasant but formal tone.

Remus was surprised when the hand Sirius extended wasn't curled into a fist and aimed at his jaw, and he quickly reached out to take it. Sirius' grip was firm, his hand warm and calloused, and Remus couldn't help but wonder how it would feel wrapped around his cock. He could feel blood rushing to parts he certainly didn't want it to be rushing to and, with a perfunctory shake, he let go of the… rather large… hand.

'Right,' Alice said, breaking into Remus' thoughts about the correlation in size between men's hands and other parts of their bodies. 'Now the pleasantries are out of the way, let's turn our attention to the issue at hand. I'm sure you both want this sorted out as quickly and painlessly as possible.'

Sirius muttered something indistinguishable under his breath as he sank back into the puffy couch. Alice looked at Remus and indicated that he should sit in the armchair opposite the lounge. He perched on the edge, the butterflies in his stomach – temporarily caged by the beautiful distractions – taking flight once again.

'So, Mr. Lupin,' Alice said, her strident voice cutting through him. 'You're branching out into blackmail?'

Remus couldn't stop his wince in time and caught the edge of Sirius' smirk before the other man schooled his face back into blankness. 'As I've already explained to Mr. Black,' Remus said, 'I'm not sure blackmail is usually so advantageous to both parties. You know that there will be a resultant upswing in album sales if a no-holds barred interview with Sirius is released in conjunction with the new CD.'

'You're doing this to help with album sales?' Alice said, in a syrupy, sarcastic tone. 'How altruistic of you, Mr. Lupin.'

Sirius snorted softly and this time, the smug little smile was lingering on his face when Remus looked at him. He felt his temper rising, and he abruptly stood, wiping the smile off Sirius' face.

'I was told we were here to discuss my proposal,' he said, eyes boring into Sirius' as the other man slowly rose to his feet. 'If you just wanted to pull pigtails, you should know I don't usually like an audience, but I might make an exception for you.' He finished up with a wink and, to his enormous satisfaction, Sirius' mask cracked.

'You are a fucking bastard,' he snapped, taking a step closer to Remus, face contorting with fury. 'No matter how you try and fucking spin this, you are manipulating me for your own benefit. This interview will make you a bloody fortune!'

'And you're considering doing the same damn thing to me to get publicity for your album, to make even more money to waste on fancy hotel rooms and leather pants,' Remus snapped back, moving forward so that only the suddenly very small coffee table lay between them. 'So you tell me which of us is the bigger fucking whore?'

Remus could see Sirius shaking with anger and knew that he was trembling as well. His hands closed at his sides, fingers crushed against his palm, but as he and Sirius tried to stare each other down, he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to punch the other man in that smartarse mouth, or grab a handful of that pretty fucking hair and kiss him until he surrendered.

Either way, those lips would look fantastic all puffed up.

'Well, that was certainly interesting,' Alice said brightly, breaking the stand-off, and both men turned to glare at her.

Remus didn't like the calculating expression on her face, but when she waved her hands at their respective seats, he cautiously sat back down.

'We can ensure this arrangement is beneficial to all,' she said, glancing down at her organizer. 'Mr. Lupin, we are prepared to allow you to tail Mr. Black and The Marauders for forty-eight hours precisely.'

She looked up at Remus pointedly as she placed heavy emphasis on the end of her sentence. Remus squirmed a little and, apparently satisfied her point had been made, Alice continued.

'However, we are not willing to agree to an 'access all areas' pass in regards to your questioning of Mr. Black.'

Remus had expected this. Excitement sparked up and down his spine and he dug his fingers into the arms of the chair to avoid punching the air in triumph. Whatever access they granted him, it would be far more than any other journalist had ever been allowed. Fuck, he'd really done it!

'I've prepared a list of topics that Mr. Black is prepared to discuss with you…' She brandished a sheaf of papers and Remus took them out of her hands. 'And there is also a standard contract agreement for you to sign.' She looked up, face set, and held out a pen. 'No signature, the deal is off. Take it or leave it.'

'I'll want a chance to peruse the contract and the allowable topics,' Remus objected when he realised that she expected him to sign it right then and there.

Alice nodded and tossed the pen down onto the coffee table, paying it no mind as it skittered across the surface. 'You have one hour,' she told him, standing up and glancing over at Sirius, who also pushed himself to his feet. 'You will stay here – that contract does not leave this room until it is signed – and this is our only offer, Mr. Lupin. There will be no negotiation over terms. We've extended to you a generosity that no journalist has had before, or is likely to have again. Consider that when you read over those conditions.'

And with that, she turned on her heel and left the room. Sirius took a couple of steps in the same direction then looked back over his shoulder at Remus.

'Me,' he said quietly, and Remus frowned in confusion.

'Sorry?' he said then a shudder ripped through him as, for the first time, he saw Sirius Black with no walls, no hint of a mask. A deep, abiding sadness shadowed those grey eyes, and Remus felt a lump form in his throat in sympathy.

'I literally sell my soul with every lyric I write,' Sirius said, his voice oddly flat. 'That makes me the bigger whore, I think.'

Remus lay back in his bed, arms folded under his head. He listened to the crunch of car wheels on bitumen, to the sound of the argument that was raging in the flat across the road, the barking dog on the next block. The city was never quiet, but it was still not enough to drown out the sound of Sirius Black's last words to Remus that afternoon. He'd been hearing them echo off the inside of his skull all evening and still now at – he looked at his clock and groaned – two o'clock in the morning, all he could hear were those quiet words of self-flagellation.

With a loud sigh of frustration, he rolled onto his side, staring down at the pile of magazines that acted as a makeshift bedside table. He reached out and lifted the coffee mug, pulling a few of the periodicals onto the bed beside him. By the dim light of the street light outside his flat, Remus flicked through the magazines, not even bothering to pretend he wasn't looking for photographs of Sirius.

He found one – the whole band but Sirius was smiling in it – and he sat up, angling the page so the light hit it better. Narrowing his eyes, he squinted at the photograph then he reached across the magazine mountain to switch on his lamp. He half-hung off the bed as he held the page under the light, staring at it until spots danced before his eyes. Then he rummaged through the other magazines, giving every photograph of Sirius the same treatment. One he'd reached the bottom of the pile, he sighed heavily and threw himself back against his pillows.

How hadn't he ever seen it before? That sadness, that emptiness in Sirius' eyes? It was there if you really looked – in every single photograph.

'I'm supposed to be observant,' he muttered, punching his pillow hard and trying to get comfortable with the weight of his guilty conscience bearing down on him. 'I shouldn't have pushed him to meet with me.'

The journalist in Remus' head argued that he'd agreed to every single one of Sirius' terms without a fight, and he could almost hear his old university professor, Alastor Moody, bitching, 'You may as well have just bent over'. But his heart berated him for taking advantage of another man's weakness, for threatening to expose his secrets, for his own gain.

Remus looked around his bedroom – mattress on a wire base, threadbare sheets, clothes hung on a portable rack he'd found at an op shop – and his head told him that he'd done the right thing for himself.

Sirius Black will make millions from his new album. He will go on tour and fuck his way around the world and he will forget all about that scrawny journo who spent a few days shadowing him. Sirius Black will come out of this just fine.

And if he kept saying it, Remus was sure he would eventually believe it.

He scratched at his stomach, absently trailing his fingers through the sprinkling of hair on his abdomen. In a week's time, he would have fairly intimate access to Sirius Black's life. He would be spending forty-eight hours in his company. He'd received an itinerary for the time he'd be following Sirius and it was pretty full on as the publicity machine for the album kicked into gear. Television appearances, planned public appearances, radio interviews and a large daytime concert for a children's charity… Alice had blocked out some time each evening for Sirius and Remus to have a more private question and answer session and Remus had to admit that the thought of being alone with Sirius Black – rock star – was one hell of a turn on.

And knowing that Sirius Black might actually like men didn't help Remus keep his libido under control.

He shifted on the bed as his pyjama pants got tighter. His hand drifted a little lower and brushed over the head of the jutting erection. Remus rolled his hips slightly and a little grunt escaped as the friction of fabric on sensitive skin sent a jolt of pleasure through him.

'This is wrong in so many ways,' he muttered, skating his fingers along the length of his cock as he remembered how Sirius' hair looked falling around his face today and how fucking amazing that dark curtain would look draped over his chest.

He curled his hand around his shaft and squeezed it through his pajama pants. A quick flick of his thumb over the tip revealed a spreading wet patch and Remus gave in. He dragged the pants down over his hips; at the same time, reaching under his bed and tugging out the old box one of his former lovers had named The Sex Chest. A hasty search through magazines, various sex toys, and condoms unearthed a half-used tube of lube, and he fumbled a little in his eagerness to coat his fingers and palm with the emollient.

Dropping the tube off the side of the bed, Remus returned his hand to his cock, hissing a little at the juxtaposition of the cool lube against his hot skin. He gave himself one smooth stroke from root to tip, spreading the slick, then settled into a medium-paced rhythm.

As the side of his hand rubbed over the raised rim at the top of his shaft, Remus moaned and, as he closed his eyes, imagined a calloused hand scraping over the same spot. He pushed his free hand between his thighs and cupped his tightening sac, wondering if he would be able to feel that roughened skin against his balls and if it would add to the pleasure or distract from the act. A long breath shuddered past his lips and he slid his hand back further, past his balls, to push a finger carefully inside the hidden pucker there.

'Oh, God,' he groaned as he reached the second knuckle. It had been so bloody long since he'd fucked or been fucked, and he was so tight even the one finger burned a little. He pulled out, dragging his dry hand over his slippery cock to transfer a little lube then pushed back in with a new urgency.

He let his imagination go, images of different men flickering through his mind like a film until it settled on Sirius once more. Remus arched off the bed, his hand increasing in pace as he fantasized about pressing his face into that dark hair, tasting those firm lips, pushing inside that fucking incredible arse. A second finger hurriedly joined the first inside him, and Remus' hips rocked frantically as he pumped them in and out, fucking himself hard. He thrust up, forcing his cock through the tight ring of his fingers and wishing it were hotter and softer and…

'Fuck!'

A sudden, unexpected surge of fierce want shoved him over the edge and come splattered his stomach and fingers. His strokes slowed, and his own harsh panting drowned out every other sound as he came down from the high of orgasm. He groaned as his cock softened and clarity returned, realising that he'd just wanked over a rock star as if he were some pathetic, closeted kid with a crush.

Remus opened his eyes and stared in despair at the mold-stained ceiling as he wiped his sticky hand on his sheet. He was beginning to have serious doubts that the benefits of spending time with Sirius Black were going to be worth the price.

Chapter Text

Sirius winced as his voice went flat for the third time in the same song and held up his hand.

'Okay, stop!' he called over the music and it quickly petered out. He couldn't look at the others, instead just lifting his guitar so he could duck out from under the strap then placing it carefully in its case. 'Let's take a break, yeah? My voice is getting a little strained.'

He heard the clatter of Lily's drumsticks and the electronic whine of Peter's keyboard as they switched off and left the stage. He sat on the edge of the built up platform, staring vacantly out over the mostly empty stadium. The footfalls behind him were unmistakably James', and Sirius closed his eyes as his friend sat down beside him.

They were both silent for almost a minute before James murmured softly, 'You know that if you've had enough, we would understand.'

Sirius' eyes snapped open, and he twisted to stare at James. 'What?'

James waved his hand to encompass the stadium, the stage, and the scurrying stagehands and technicians. 'If you're tired of all this,' James explained, 'we would understand and we would all call it a day.'

'You… you'd all give this up if I wasn't happy?' Sirius whispered, the words squeezing past the large lump in his throat at the reminder of how much James cared for him. 'You'd give it all up for me?'

James made a hissing sound and bumped his shoulder against Sirius'. 'You are a bloody git,' he said affectionately. 'We started this together, and we finish it the same way. If one of us wants out, the band says goodbye.'

He shook his head, huffing out a sound of amusement. 'You are a prat if you think we'd want you to be miserable just so we can keep this going. I mean, yeah, it's fun, we do some good for charity and we make people smile just by doing something we love...'

'Don't forget the money,' Sirius mumbled, head bowed, and James snorted.

'The money was an unexpected bonus,' he said with a grin then he looked at Sirius' drawn face and sobered. 'Sirius, remember that night Alice got us signed to the record label, and we got absolutely ratted on that nasty fucking wine Lily had in her fridge?'

Sirius smiled a genuine smile and nodded. 'That was a damn good night,' he said reminiscently.

James murmured an agreement. 'Well, we said that night that if it looked like any of us were getting lost in the fame or the money or all the shit that comes with this life that we would call it a day.' He cleared his throat. 'So, this is me asking you if you are getting lost.'

Sirius breathed in deeply through his nose, raising his head to look out over the stadium. 'I don't know,' he admitted, kicking his feet against the stage. 'I… I think it's this thing with Lupin starting tomorrow. I feel like I'm losing control, James. I feel like he's trying to take the last bit of me that was just mine, and I won't know myself if he takes that away.'

'He doesn't want to take it away, he just wants everyone else to see what we see – a decent bloke with an odd sense of humour and an unhealthy obsession with leather pants ,' James said soothingly. 'Mate, it's not healthy to keep yourself so closed off from other people. If you'd just show them the real you, let them in on some of those secrets…'

'They'd use it against me,' Sirius said abruptly, his jaw tensing. 'You saw what happened to that kid… what's his name? Weasley? Bill Weasley? You saw how the press fucking ate him alive when he came out. You saw how they just dug and dug into his personal life, finding every bloody skeleton, every bird or bloke he'd ever shagged, all his family problems. They ran story after story on him until he had a breakdown. He's not been able to record since and you've heard the rumours that his label's going to drop him.' He shook his head emphatically. 'That is what happens when you tell your secrets.'

'You're stronger than that, Sirius. You've got us.'

'Do I?' Sirius said, tilting his head and looking at James. 'What if I can't write? What if I can't compose? Where do we get our new material? You? Peter? God, we nearly pissed ourselves laughing at Lily's last attempt at a lyric…'

'It wouldn't happen.'

'It might!' Sirius ran a hand through his hair restlessly. 'If I start giving them pieces of me, they won't stop until they've consumed me, James. I know it. Then there will be nothing left. No lyrics and no music and then they may as well just fucking kill me because I sure as hell don't want to live my life that way. I gave up everything for this!'

James sighed. 'Don't you think you're being slightly melodramatic?' he asked, a touch of impatience in his voice now. 'Sirius, if you were like this with just the press, we all wouldn't be so worried. But you do this with anyone who gets close to you. I know that you think if you show anyone yourself that will somehow taint your ability to write, but did you ever think that it might actually help?'

Sirius frowned at him, and James made a face. 'Don't look at me like that…' he said sternly. 'You can't keep secrets from me. I know you've been struggling more and more lately, and not just with this publicity stuff, but with your writing as well. 'You write what you know'. Isn't that what we were always told? Well, right now, all you know is loneliness and misery and bloody paranoia. Maybe letting someone into your life would help you find some new inspiration.'

'Or they could hurt me so badly that I'll never be inspired again,' Sirius said darkly.

James worried his lip with his teeth then said in a gentle tone, 'Not everyone is out to hurt you like they did, Sirius. It's not always going to come down to that choice.'

Sirius almost bit clear through his tongue in an attempt not to yell at his friend for touching on forbidden subjects. 'I'd rather not take the chance.'

James groaned in defeat. 'You are so bloody stubborn,' he complained, kicking Sirius in the shin a bit too hard to be playful. 'One day you are going to meet someone fantastic and you'll drive them away because you won't let them in.'

'Harbinger of doom,' Sirius said with a faint smile, and James chuckled resignedly.

'Just promise me that if you are… feeling lost, that you'll tell me. Please?'

Sirius nodded, biting his lip as gratitude threatened to overwhelm him. 'I promise,' he whispered then he groped for James' hand and gave his fingers a quick squeeze. 'Thank you.'

'And don't worry about this thing with Lupin,' James said, tightening his own fingers reciprocally. 'We're all here if you need back up, and you've read Lupin's work. He's good, and he's not a sensationalist. I don't think he's after some massive expose.'

Sirius shrugged in indecision, and James grinned suddenly. 'And he's pretty hot as well,' he added. 'At least you'll have something new and pretty to look at for a few days.'

Sirius chuckled and nodded, his spirits lifting. He inhaled deeply then smiled when he saw Lily and Peter walking up the ramp to the stage, arguing over which cup they held contained Diet Coke and which was plain Coke. Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation then handed the drinks out before plonking herself down beside Sirius.

'Everything good here?' she asked, eyes shifting from Sirius to James, and Sirius nodded again.

'Everything is fine,' he assured her, taking a sip of the drink then making a face. 'Ew!'

Peter, sinking down next to James made a triumphant noise and pointed a finger at Lily. 'I told you that was Coke!' He held out his own drink and Sirius swapped. Peter took a sip of his drink and sighed happily. 'Ah, sugar and caffeine… I'm in heaven.'

'All that sugar is not good for you,' Sirius warned, taking a gulp of his drink and feeling the caffeine kick almost immediately. 'You will never be able to borrow my leather pants if you drink that stuff.'

James snorted and made a wide load joke, all four of them pushing and teasing, and some of Sirius' nerves and panic over meeting Lupin the next day eased.

Remus frowned at his reflection in the mirrored walls of the lift. It was early in the morning; much earlier than he liked to be conscious, but The Marauders had a morning radio interview to get to. He yawned widely and reached up to smooth some errant strands of hair before he ran a hand over the front of his new t-shirt. The other hand was holding tight to a dress bag and duffel containing a few changes of outfits. He'd splashed out on some new clothes, not wanting to stand out like a sore thumb as he shadowed Sirius and his entourage, or to experience that feeling of not being good enough that he'd felt last time he was in Sirius' suite.

The doors of the lift opened, and Remus walked right into Alice Longbottom as he exited. He gasped in surprise and grabbed hold of the blonde's upper arms to steady them both, dropping his baggage in the process.

'Sorry,' he said quickly once they were both stable enough for him to let go. 'I didn't expect…'

'Well, that will be the last time,' she said, ignoring his apology and spinning on one of her dangerously high heels as she beckoned for him to follow. 'Nothing is unplanned or unexpected here.'

She stopped suddenly and watched over her shoulder as Remus scooped up his bag and duffel and hurried after her. 'Except for you, of course.'

She didn't look thrilled about the disruption Remus had provided to her routine and again, he felt like he was being admonished without her having to say a word in reprimand. He opened his mouth to respond, but she was already walking in short, fast steps towards Sirius' suite.

'As you know, Sirius has a radio interview to get to this morning. Ms Evans - and you will address her as Ms Evans unless she gives you permission otherwise - will be accompanying him.' She stopped in front of the suite door and ran her gaze from his head to his toes. 'Well, you are more appropriately dressed today.'

Remus felt his shoulders stiffen defensively. 'Not everyone can afford designer labels, Ms Longbottom,' he said through gritted teeth. 'Nor do they necessarily care to.'

She arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow as she peered at him. 'I don't care whose name is on the tag hidden under your shirt, Mr. Lupin,' she said coolly. 'I do, however, care about neatness and tidiness, and your attire in the dining room last week was neither.'

Remus recalled his shabby clothes (he thought he may have slept in the t-shirt) and forced out the most genuine smile he could summon. 'I hope I continue to meet with your approval.'

'I'm sure you will!' she trilled brightly before she turned and rapped on the door, leaving Remus feeling a little dizzy from the rapid change in mood.

The door opened and auburn-haired Lily Evans peeked out, smiling when she saw Remus. 'Oh, you're here! Good, we were worried you were going to miss the car.'

She kissed Alice's offered cheek as the older woman entered the room then held out her hand to Remus. 'I'm Lily,' she said with a wide smile that, to Remus' surprise, went all the way to her eyes. 'Nice to meet you, Mr. Lupin.'

'Er, it's Remus,' he stammered, juggling his bags so he could free his hand to take hers. 'Pleased to meet you, Ms Evans.'

'God, call me Lily, please,' she insisted, screwing up her nose. 'The others will never let me live it down if you call me Ms Evans in front of them.'

Keeping hold of his hand, she pulled him inside the hall and shut the door behind them.

'I… I have to admit,' Remus said tentatively, 'that I didn't expect a very warm welcome.'

Lily laughed and took his duffel from him before Remus could object. 'Well, your methods of obtaining an interview are certainly unorthodox and perhaps a bit questionable, Remus, but you're here now and we are going to try and make this as easy for Sir… everyone as possible.'

He caught her slip, but, although his curiosity was piqued, didn't say anything as she led him into the living area. The curtains were open and, once again, he was left a little breathless by the view.

'I think Alice has organized some rooms for you on the floor below, but I'm sure Sirius wouldn't mind you leaving your things in his spare room for now,' said Lily, her voice coloured with amusement. 'You'll be spending some time here, after all.'

Remus tore his eyes from the window and nodded. 'Thank you, Lily,' he said, taking his duffel from her. 'If you'll just point me in the right direction…'

She indicated a short hall off to the left. 'Spare room that way,' she said then lifted her chin towards the right. 'Sirius' room is at the opposite end and Pete's is on the other side of the suite.' She grinned broadly. 'They toss a coin to see who gets the master bedroom at each new hotel and Pete won the toss this time.'

'They share?' Remus asked, both disappointed and a little relieved that he would not be entirely alone with Sirius.

'Yeah, they always ended up bunking down in one room anyway so it saves a little money. These hotel stays are just like one big party for those boys,' she said, obviously struggling not to roll her eyes. 'You'd think they were seventeen again.' She waved her hand towards the spare room. 'Off you go then.'

Remus smiled then quickly found the room. After a quick glance around confirmed that it was just as lushly laid out as the rest of the suite, he hung his clothes then wandered over to the window to admire the view and compose himself. As he'd told Lily, his welcome from the young woman had startled him. He'd been expecting the other band members to be resentful or combative, not helpful and sweet.

Don't get carried away, Remus. You've still got Potter and Pettigrew to meet, not to mention Sirius himself.

Remus considered Lily's earlier gaffe. She'd been about to say Sirius' name, but had abruptly cut herself off and attempted to cover her slip. He felt a trickle of guilt and frowned down at early morning London. Was it really that difficult for Sirius to talk about his life? And if so, why? Remus scoured his memory, trying to recall anything he'd read about Sirius' past to see if it would give him a clue, but most of it was fairly ordinary stuff. Remus couldn't help the little smile of excitement that curved his lips. He enjoyed puzzles and had a feeling that piecing Sirius Black together was going to be one hell of a challenge.

'We should get going.'

Remus spun around fast, almost stumbling back against the window as he did. Sirius was leaning against the doorway watching Remus, his lips twisted in amusement. 'Jumpy, aren't you?' he said with a smirk then pushed himself off the door frame. 'Come on then. Lily dragged Pete and James out of bed early so they can meet you before we leave.'

'I didn't ask her to do that,' Remus protested, moving across the room, and Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

'No, that's just Lily,' he said in a fond tone. 'She is determined that everyone will be friends, and no one dares to say no to her. I think the last bloke to try it went missing in mysterious circumstances.'

He suddenly looked alarmed and stared wide-eyed at Remus. 'You know that's a joke, right?' he asked worriedly, and Remus grimaced.

'I do have a sense of humour,' he said wearily. 'Look, Si… Mr. Black…'

'Oh, fuck that. You call me Sirius or nothing at all,' Sirius said quickly and emphatically, his look of alarm deepening.

Remus was surprised by the reaction and made a mental note to further investigate at a later time. 'Fine. Sirius,' he said. 'I know you don't like me or my methods, but this would probably go a lot quicker and smoother if you just relax. I know a joke when I hear it; I'm not going to take every single word you say literally. If I have a question about something I've heard, I'll ask.'

He stepped closer and officially entered Sirius' personal space. Sirius shifted uncomfortably, but stood his ground.

'I'm not here to do a hatchet job on you, Sirius, or some big expose. The public wants to know more about how one of its favourite rock stars lives, and that's the story I plan on delivering.'

Sirius stared at him, grey eyes appraising then he nodded once. 'Right then,' he said, taking a step back. 'Come and meet The Marauders.'

Remus watched Sirius shake hands with the DJ before he and Lily left the soundproof booth. He stood up, waiting next to Alice, who greeted the pair with a smile and her electronic organizer, and took a moment to appreciate Sirius' long, lean body in his black jeans and red t-shirt.

'Alright then,' she said, snapping the organizer shut and pocketing it. 'We've got time for a late breakfast before we head to the venue for sound check. Back to the hotel? James and Peter should be back from their commitments by now?'

Lily and Sirius nodded, and Alice wasted no time in leading them from the radio station.

'She's… um… very efficient, isn't she?' Remus murmured to Lily as they followed her like obedient sheep.

'She's bloody scary,' Sirius said, falling in alongside Remus. 'But she's as loyal as they come, and she knows absolutely everyone.'

Remus could feel heat pouring off Sirius' body as they walked side by side, his own body reacting to the warmth. He shoved his hands in his pockets with a bit more difficulty than usual – his new jeans were just a bit tighter than those he normally wore – and asked, 'How did you find her?'

Sirius smiled reminiscently at the retreating figure. 'She found us,' he told Remus, obviously comfortable enough telling a story that everyone already knew. 'We were playing in this horrid, cockroach-ridden dump in South London, and one night, there she was in the audience.' He turned and grinned at Remus. 'She was pretty visible in the crowd of thirteen.'

Remus chuckled, pleased to see Sirius was relatively at ease with him, as they followed Alice and Lily, who had skipped ahead to walk with her manager.

'She approached us afterwards and told us she could make us famous if we did exactly what she told us to do,' Sirius continued, his arm brushing Remus' as he reached for the sunglasses he had hooked over the yoke of his shirt and slid them on. 'And we've been doing exactly that ever since.'

'You do have your moments of rebellion, but they are few and far between,' Alice said as Remus and Sirius reached the curb where she was waiting beside the hotel's limousine. Remus was startled that she'd heard them talking, and at his surprised glance, Alice smiled sweetly. 'I hear everything, Mr. Lupin.'

Lily called James from the car, and he and Peter met the others in the hotel dining room, which was almost empty and finished serving breakfast. Remus wasn't all that surprised when he, the band and their manager where quickly led to the same private corner Sirius and he sat in a week earlier and handed them breakfast menus. Sirius must have seen something in his face because as he sat down beside him, he said almost challengingly, 'There are some nice perks to occupying their most expensive rooms.'

Remus looked at him, meeting Sirius' eyes and holding his gaze. 'I'm sure they'd bring the food on roller skates wearing tutus if you asked them to for the amount of dosh you're laying out here.' He tilted his head inquiringly. 'I don't suppose you need someone to bang a tambourine or anything? I'd quite like to see that waiter in a leotard and tutu.'

There was a moment of silence, like a breath being held, then Sirius smiled and Lily giggled into her hand. 'You might,' Peter grumbled, looking a little ill. 'But I could do without seeing that with my breakfast, thank you very much.'

'Now, if that pretty brunette receptionist were to dress in a tutu...' James said with a little too much enthusiasm for Lily's liking.

She glared at him then hit him firmly on the arm. 'Remember where your bread is buttered, you prat.'

He laughed and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, pulling her in for a fast kiss while Peter and Sirius groaned and put their hands up to cover their eyes. 'Oh, not on an empty stomach,' Sirius complained then yelped when there was a dull thud from under the table. 'Ow!' He bent over to rub his leg, leaning into Remus' side as he did. 'Not very ladylike in front of the reporter, Lilikins.'

'I'm sure Remus will write that I was provoked and showed great restraint by only kicking you,' she retorted.

Sirius poked his tongue out at her then pushed himself upright once more, much to Remus' disappointment. The man smelled bloody amazing.

'Do they always get along so well?' Remus asked Alice who sat on his other side, serenely perusing the menu.

'No,' she replied, closing her menu and calling the waiter with a crook of her finger. 'Sometimes they fight and bicker. Orders, please.'

After they placed their breakfast requests, Remus watched the interplay between the four band mates, trying to get a feel for their group dynamic. They were obviously very close; he knew James Potter and Sirius had been friends since childhood and lived together up until a few months earlier when James moved in with Lily. They had met Peter Pettigrew at boarding school when they were eleven, and the trio had become inseparable. Lily Evans, according to the bio he'd read on the Internet, had attended a nearby girl's school, and James Potter had chased her for several years before she agreed to date him.

'Seems to have worked out,' Remus thought, watching the casual, loving touches between the two as they waited for their food to arrive. He looked at Lily's bare ring finger and wondered if the engagement rumours were really premature or if they were playing it cool.

Remus felt a prickle of awareness creep over his skin and glanced to the side, catching Sirius watching him. He raised an eyebrow in inquiry and Sirius flushed.

'Sorry, just… wondering what you make of us,' he said, his voice low. It roughened slightly at this volume, and Remus felt the grate of his words right down to his toes, only barely suppressing a shiver. 'We're a bit mad sometimes.'

Remus smiled and reached out to trace the filigree pattern along the edge of his fork with his fingertip. 'I think it must be wonderful to be doing something you love with the people you love,' he said, speaking softly with just a trace of discernible longing that he didn't bother to try and hide. 'I'm envious.'

Sirius blinked. 'Yeah?'

Remus looked up at him and smiled. 'Yeah.'

Sirius' smile flashed quickly across his face then he looked down at his place setting, fiddling with his napkin. 'I… I want you to know that I'm going to try and be as open with you as I can,' he murmured. 'But I'm not used to this - talking about things that are very personal to me. And there are some topics I will fight you on. I don't… I can't… '

Remus watched as Sirius let out a rasping gasp and Peter, on Sirius' other side, snapped his head around so fast it had to have hurt. He took a look at Sirius then shifted his brown eyes to Remus.

'So, Remus,' he said, just a bit too loudly, and the others broke off their conversation mid-sentence. 'What did you think of our last album?'

Remus glanced at Sirius. He was biting down on his lip, the abused flesh a stark red against his paler-than-usual skin, and Remus caught Lily shooting Sirius a worried look.

'Er, would it be bad form to admit I actually don't own your last album?' he said, going along with the change of subject then he ducked when linen napkins flew at him from all directions accompanied by boos and hisses of mock outrage.

Sirius seemed to come out of his retrospection with Remus' admission and the subsequent teasing, and was quietly cheerful for the rest of the meal. But it was clear that the others were protective of him, and Remus was left wondering exactly what happened to Sirius Black to make him so emotionally fragile.

Chapter Text

Remus wasn't being very productive. He had managed to quickly scribble out some notes about his morning so far while he was in the car on the way to the venue for this evening's concert, and recorded some voice notes on his iPod as he followed James around in a fast backstage tour. For the last hour and a half, he'd been watching The Marauders during their sound check whilst surfing the Internet on his phone, trying to find some more information about Sirius' background, but he kept getting distracted by the man himself.

'A man should not look that good that sweaty,' he muttered to himself as Sirius used the bottom of his t-shirt to wipe his forehead, revealing tight abs under the sweat-soaked cloth. Remus' mouth fell open a little as his gaze dropped to take in the tight denim over Sirius crotch and he shifted in his seat as his own jeans suddenly became more constrictive.

There was an aura about the Sirius who was up there on that stage. The uncertain man Remus had seen at breakfast was nowhere in sight; replaced by a confident, cocksure man who seemed happy and comfortable in his own skin. He seemed to have boundless energy and Remus was getting tired just watching him work the stage. Sirius Black was doing what he had been born to do – of that Remus had no doubt.

But he wasn't just a show pony; the man could sing.

Remus had heard The Marauders songs on the radio and at various parties, but he'd never formed much of an opinion beyond 'good singer, but not my thing'. If he had bought one of their albums, he would have discovered that they had an eclectic style ranging from the bluesy songs Remus preferred, to a more aggressive, soft-rock style.

And Sirius poured his heart and soul into singing every single lyric.

"I literally sell my soul with every lyric I write."

Sirius words suddenly came back to Remus and he frowned. Sirius hated talking about himself, hated offering up the tiniest bit of personal information, but perhaps he said more than people realized.

'"If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music",' Remus muttered, trying and failing to recall who it was he was quoting as he fumbled with his phone again.

He logged into a search engine and typed in The Marauders and lyrics then sat back to read what Sirius Black couldn't find the words to say.

'Fuck,' Sirius muttered as a knock on the door startled him and eye pencil very nearly became a literal term. He blinked then leaned in close to the dressing room mirror again, calling out an irritated, 'Come in!'

Remus poked his head around the door. 'Alright to come in?' he asked. 'I wanted to ask you a couple of questions.'

Sirius stifled his sigh of impatience and concentrated on tracing the edge of his eyelid instead. 'Yeah, just make it quick,' he said, finishing his right eye and starting on the left.

When there was nothing but silence following his acquiescence, he thought his gruffness might have given Remus second thoughts about an impromptu interview. He finished outlining his eye then blinked and, looking in the mirror, focused on the room behind him. Remus hadn't left. Remus was standing with his back against the door, face flushed, and a muscle jumping madly in his jaw.

'Alright?' Sirius asked and Remus nodded, clearing his throat as he hurriedly sidled over to the nearest chair and fell into it.

Sirius watched him for another moment, trying to ignore the horny devil in his head that had kept reminding him all day that Remus was cute, Remus was hot, Remus was gay, and here and available…

Thank God for the cold shower that was his brain. It kept the mantra, 'He's a reporter, he's the enemy,' ticking through his mind, shouting it extra loud whenever the other man bent over and put that fine arse on display.

He had been surprised by how easy Remus was to talk to, though he supposed he shouldn't be, given the other man's profession. Perhaps it was the fact that Reporter Remus wasn't a suited middle-aged man or some perfectly coiffed woman who was too old, too obvious, or too damn stupid to attract Sirius' attention, that made Sirius feel more relaxed with him. He was only a few months older than Sirius, he was bloody gorgeous, and Sirius' body went into all kinds of delightful convulsions whenever he was close.

And he's a reporter.

Sirius turned to face Remus, leaning against the dresser. 'Better ask your questions now,' he prompted. 'I'm a little busy later on.'

Remus' smile seemed a little forced. 'Right,' he said, pulling out a notepad. 'Er, is there anything specific that you do before a concert? Any routines or habits?'

Sirius' foot tapped on the floor. 'I'm usually getting pretty worked up,' he said with a tight smile. 'Adrenaline, nerves, you know. Makes it hard to sit still so I'm usually pacing the halls and annoying James.'

Remus scribbled something on his pad and then asked, 'When you're on stage, when you first walk out there, what are you thinking?'

Sirius' forehead creased, and he crossed his arms over his chest. 'Um, I don't know. Just… trying to remember the lyrics, I guess.'

Remus looked skeptically up at him through his eyelashes and Sirius shoved off the vanity, moving aimlessly about the room.

'It… it's incredible,' he said softly, stopping in front of his cupboard and fingering the cuff of the leather jacket he was going to wear for the encore. 'The moment you first walk out, and you hear this deafening roar… and it's all for you. I feel… awed and humbled and a bit overwhelmed. And very, very grateful.'

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus staring at him then he ducked his head over his notepad, jotting something down as he murmured, 'And when you're singing. do you recall the incident or the time in your life that inspired you to write that particular song?'

Sirius' fingers clenched around the sleeve of the coat. 'Sometimes,' he said stiffly. 'I try not to, usually. They aren't all happy memories.'

''Unworthy',' Remus said, naming one of the songs that Sirius had written at his most raw. 'Is that song based on one of the memories you try not to dwell on?'

Sirius checked his watch. 'I've got to finish getting ready now,' he said dismissively, and Remus rolled his eyes.

'Two questions out of four,' he noted as flipped his notebook closed and stood up. 'That was one more than I thought you'd answer.'

Sirius turned back to the mirror, pretending to be fussing with his hair, and Remus shrugged. 'We've got plenty of time later, Sirius,' he reminded him, opening the dressing room door then hesitating before he left. He looked over his shoulder at Sirius.

'By the way,' he said, his blue eyes catching Sirius' in the mirror. 'You look fucking hot.'

And then he disappeared, leaving Sirius cursing his penchant for tight leather pants that hid absolutely nothing.

Sirius bounced from one side of the room to the other, making Remus chuckle. 'Are you always like this after a show?' he asked, sinking into the soft couch that was pushed against the far wall of Sirius' dressing room.

'Yep,' Sirius said happily, gesturing wildly with the hand that held his beer bottle, the foaming liquid slopping over the sides. 'The others can't stand being around me afterwards. They say I make them dizzy.'

'Can't say I disagree,' Remus said, taking a mouthful of his own beer.

The charity concert had been amazing. The Marauders had been amazing. But Sirius… Sirius was fucking phenomenal. If Remus hadn't had half a crush on the man before, he certainly would have now. Watching Sirius Black on stage was an experience he would never forget. The man put absolutely everything into whatever he was singing; the vivid emotions playing across his face as he drew the crowd right into his heart. When he was screaming words about betrayal, jealousy, or anger, the audience was there with him, fury and fire building until it exploded; when he was singing something joyful, the whole stadium smiled and laughed along with him. And when Sirius sang of heartbreak and loss and loneliness, it was all Remus could do not to burst into tears.

No wonder this man didn't like talking about his private life. He exposed himself with every single word he wrote and, somehow, it still wasn't enough. By the end of the concert, Remus was conflicted. He felt more than a little ashamed that he was here, pushing Sirius to give him more, more, more of himself, but at the same time, was so completely intrigued by what he'd seen that he desperately wanted to delve deeper and find the place Sirius kept his passion.

Watching him now, raving about Lily's brilliant drum solo in one of the songs, he almost hated to bring him down by peppering him with unwanted questions. But his time here was limited, and he really had to stop admiring how fantastic Sirius looked in those pants, and start asking some probing questions.

Sirius strode across the room towards the tiny water closet, pulling off his shirt as he went.

'And did you hear Peter? Not one fucking mistake, man! He was on fire!'

He left the bathroom door slightly open, and Remus could see him running a wet flannel over his lightly-muscled chest and arms in lieu of a shower. Beads of waters ran in rivulets over that creamy skin, and Remus' mouth went dry when Sirius threw down the flannel and began to thumb open his button fly.

On the other hand, the questions could wait for later. Perhaps he could just watch for a little while longer.

'I thought we were going back to the hotel?' Remus said in confusion as Sirius gave the car driver an unfamiliar address. 'And where are the others?'

Sirius sat back and tugged his seatbelt over his shoulder, looking pointedly at Remus to do the same. 'I asked Alice to organise a separate car for us,' he said, glancing out the window. 'Thought you'd like to ask some more questions while we've got a few minutes to ourselves.'

Remus' eyes narrowed as he stared appraisingly at Sirius. 'You're more comfortable with me now,' he mused aloud. 'You don't need the others to run interference.'

Sirius turned back to face the front, a small smile on his face. 'They were pretty obvious, weren't they?'

'They obviously care about you very much,' Remus said. 'Anyone who inspires that kind of loyalty must be someone pretty special.'

A quick glance at Sirius revealed a deep flush spreading down his neck and disappearing into his shirt. Remus ran his tongue along his bottom lip, badly wanting to know if that flush continued all the way down Sirius' chest. He swallowed hard, wishing he had a drink.

'Beer?'

Remus let out a breath of laughter when Sirius – apparently a mind reader - held out a bottle. 'Where…?' he asked, taking the beer gratefully.

'Smuggled a couple out of the dressing room.'

Remus popped the top off and took a deep drag, sighing in satisfaction as the cool bitter liquid flowed across his tongue and wet his dry throat. Sirius downed half the bottle in one long pull, Remus watching as his Adam's apple bobbed with every gulp and wondering if there was any possible way he could be more attracted to this man.

Sirius burped then wiped his mouth. 'When I'm in town, I sometimes sing at a friend's bar,' he said, answering Remus' original question. 'It's this tiny out-of-the-way place. He doesn't tell anyone I'm coming – not that most of them would have a clue who I was anyway – and I sing for a while in return for free beer.'

'You do this after a concert like that?' Remus asked, and Sirius smiled.

'I don't sing anything strenuous,' he said. 'It's just me and a guitar. It just…' He paused, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, then continued. 'It helps bring me back down to earth, you know. It's easy to get all caught up in bright lights and screaming fans and applause. This - singing in a small venue to half a dozen people who don't give a shit how many albums I've sold - grounds me. Makes me remember where I started, and why I'm doing this, and Kingsley helps me pull my head out of my arse if I need it.'

'Kingsley? Your friend?'

Sirius nodded. 'I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention the location of the bar in your piece,' he said, looking directly at Remus for the first time since they'd gotten into the car. 'Kingsley wouldn't want the publicity.'

Remus smiled. 'That's fine,' he said, taking a sip of his beer. 'How do you know him?'

'Went to school together,' Sirius said after taking a mouthful of his own drink. 'He was a year or so younger, but he played the guitar as well so we jammed together sometimes after school. He was good. Really good.'

'Does he still play?'

Sirius relaxed back into the seat, his arm pressing along the length of Remus'. 'Sometimes,' he told Remus. 'Not as often as he should.'

'What would you have done if you couldn't do this?' Remus asked curiously.

Sirius' head snapped around. 'If I couldn't do this?' he repeated. 'Sing or compose or play?' Remus nodded and Sirius looked haunted. 'I… I would… I don't know. The thought of not being able to sing or write…' He shuddered. 'I'd rather be dead, frankly.'

'Your music is everything to you, isn't it?' Remus said, making it more of an observation than a question, but Sirius answered anyway.

'It is,' he said quietly, looking past Remus at the lights flashing by outside. 'It's my salvation. Whenever I was feeling as though everything was just too hard, I could lose myself in working out a new riff on the guitar. Or when I hurt too much and felt like I was going to break, I could write a lyric and all the pain would become bearable again.'

'You must be thrilled to be doing something you love so much.' Remus was surprised when Sirius' brow furrowed.

'Sort of,' he murmured, glancing at Remus then looking down at his hands. 'Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for our success, and I'm happy when I'm on stage or when I'm recording…'

'But,' Remus prompted.

'But, I could do without the constant scrutiny. I know that's the price we pay for the perks, but when the public isn't happy with what you're willing to give them, when they push and prod you to give them more and more of yourself… what's left that's just for you? What's left of your life to share with someone special?'

Sirius looked so distressed that Remus almost changed the subject, but before he could open his mouth, Sirius spoke again.

'I pour everything I feel into my songs. If that's not enough… If I give them everything of me, there will be nothing left to draw upon. I'll have nothing left to put into the music and I can't stand the thought of that.'

He bit at his lip. 'And my life, my memories, they aren't just mine. I can't give them what isn't mine to give, Remus. It's not just me they want a piece of and I can't…' He looked at Remus, eyes so sad. 'I made my choices about my life and now I have to live with them – the good and the bad.'

Remus reached out and put his hand on Sirius' knee, feeling the muscles in Sirius' thigh twitch. The other man nodded at the silent support and inhaled a tremulous breath. They sat like that for several seconds before the car stopped and the driver lowered the privacy screen between the front and back of the car.

'We're here.'

Remus followed Sirius out of the car and into a small, darkly lit pub, the scent of beer and sweat pervasive in the cramped space. There were several small tables scattered carelessly around the room and a tiny stage – only just large enough to hold the chair sitting on it - was crammed into one corner. The bar ran the length of the right wall and, behind it, a very tall black man was pouring a finger of whiskey into a squat tumbler for one of the bar's patrons.

Sirius called out a greeting, but the man didn't look up. 'You're late,' he said, his voice deep and melodious. 'Guitar's behind the bar.'

Remus turned to Sirius, surprised by the off-hand treatment, but was startled to see a grin on the other man's face. 'Kings is a man of few words,' Sirius explained when he saw Remus' expression. 'Go and get yourself a beer. Tell him to take it out of my wages.'

'I think I'm scared to,' Remus muttered, eyeing Kingsley warily, and Sirius laughed.

'Smart man,' he said, clapping Remus on the shoulder then looking startled by his own actions. He removed his hand quickly, staring at it as if he wasn't quite sure if it was his. 'Er, I'd better get up there.'

Remus watched him go then made his way to the bar, sitting carefully on a rickety bar stool as Kingsley moved down the bar.

'You're Lupin,' Kingsley said, giving Remus a chastising look.

'Yeah,' he agreed reluctantly.

Kingsley's eyes filleted him then picked through his bones. Remus tried not to fidget; showing any sign of weakness seemed like a bad idea. Eventually, Kingsley nodded, reaching under the counter and pulling out a bottle of beer.

'You'll do,' he said, handing over the drink then, much to Remus' relief, lumbering off with a tray of glasses.

Remus let out the breath he hadn't been game to release earlier then spun on his stool to watch Sirius as the first note from the guitar drifted around the room. This was a very different experience to that at the stadium. That had been super star Sirius with all his shine and glitter; this Sirius was completely raw and broken down to nothing but his voice and gently strummed chords. No band to cover any mistakes, no retakes, no fine-tuning by the sound people; this was pureSirius, and he was simply mesmerizing.

His drink forgotten, Remus watched as Sirius stripped himself bare in this ratty little room, and again felt a shot of contrition for what he was asking of the other man. Because now he was beginning to understand how open and honest Sirius really was, and asking more of him seemed just cruel. He listened carefully to the lyrics Sirius was singing, the words dripping with sorrow and loneliness, and felt them resonate deep inside. Sirius might have a few more million pounds in the bank, but it seemed that he felt just as alone as Remus did.

Damn, he thought as Sirius finished up his set. He had been so sure Sirius would be just another spoilt rock star, full of faux-charm. 'I hate being wrong,' he grumbled, raising his now-warm drink to his mouth as Sirius, flushed and exuding calm, joined him.

'That's better,' he said, accepting a beer from Kingsley. 'I needed to settle down. Today has just been…' He waved his hands chaotically in the air then took a swallow of his drink.

'Yeah, sorry about that,' Remus murmured into his beer and Sirius turned towards him.

'It hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be. I have to admit I was prepared for you to be incredibly intrusive and interfering,' Sirius told him with a smile. 'But you're not. And I'm grateful for that. You must be a very good journalist because I haven't really felt like I'm being interviewed.'

'I am,' Remus said without guile, meeting Sirius' gaze. 'I am a good journalist and I won't fuck up your life with this piece, Sirius. I promise.'

Sirius nodded. 'I know,' he said softly and a tendril of… something… passed between them.

Sirius' eyes dropped to Remus' mouth and Remus felt his breath quicken as his gaze lingered. Then Sirius blinked and looked away and the moment was broken.

'I…' Sirius cleared his throat. 'I'm just not comfortable talking about myself. I usually try and let the music do that, and anything else is not really anybody's business.'

Remus cocked his head thoughtfully. 'Why don't I tell you a little about me?' he offered. 'Would that make you more comfortable than if the revelations were all one sided?'

Sirius smirked and took a sip of his beer. Remus contemplated him curiously for a moment then grinned. 'You checked me out,' he said, not really surprised – Alice was incredibly protective and efficient and wouldn't allow just anybody near her babies. 'Okay, smartarse. Tell me about me.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow at Remus' teasing name-calling, but smiled broadly as he twisted on the chair to face Remus.

'Remus John Lupin,' he began as if ticking points off a list. 'Birthday is tenth of March, you're twenty-six years old, you graduated from college five years ago and have been working freelance ever since despite being offered several entry positions in mediocre publications.'

Remus frowned, wondering who the hell Alice had spoken to in order to get that information. Sirius smiled smugly and Remus took a long pull of his beer, knowing that he was feeling only a fraction of what Sirius felt when the press dug up something private about him.

'No siblings, parents deceased…' Sirius paused, offering a small smile of condolence, and then said more sedately, 'You rent your flat, use public transport, have a student loan which is a month in arrears…'

'Nope, fixed that,' Remus interrupted.

'… you ask the most ridiculous questions. "Does my arse look big in these pants?" Honestly?'

'It got your attention, didn't it?'

'And you have no… partner of record nor are you involved with anyone deemed significant,' Sirius finished, rolling his beer bottle between his palms.

Remus heard everything Sirius didn't ask and smiled. 'What you're not saying – so very well, I might add – is that I'm as gay as a fruit basket,' Remus said blithely, swiveling on his seat to look directly at Sirius.

'I didn't know if that was something you'd be comfortable talking about,' Sirius hedged and Remus laughed.

'I've flirted with you since we met and admitted to wanting to see that cute waiter in a tutu,' he said with a grin. 'You can assume that means I'm comfortable talking about the fact I like shagging men.' He looked at Sirius knowingly. 'If only everyone were as open about such things there would be no miscommunication in the world.'

'Everyone's situation is different,' Sirius said, his voice gravelly. 'Not everyone is free to be as honest as you are.'

Remus shook his head. 'Oh, everyone is free to be honest,' he disagreed. 'Some people are too scared to be, though. Too worried about what other people think.'

Sirius frowned, running a finger around the rim of his bottle. 'It's no one else's business,' he said, his voice laced with a little anger this time.

Remus shrugged and dropped the subject, casually letting his legs fall further apart. He tried not to sigh out loud in relief; the new position eased some of the pressure on his cock which had been half-hard since Sirius took the stage in those fucking leather pants with those beautifully expressive eyes circled with black kohl. He caught Sirius' gaze traveling up his inseam and laid his hand casually on his own upper thigh. The movement drew Sirius' attention higher then he quickly looked away when his eyes landed too close to Remus' crotch.

Remus bit back a smile and finished his beer just as Sirius stood up and said abruptly, 'We should go. It's getting late.'

Remus checked his watch. One o'clock. He was surprised that he wasn't more tired given his early start. He echoed Sirius' farewell to Kingsley and following him to the waiting car. It was an almost silent trip back to the hotel then up to the suite, broken only by Sirius' insistence that Remus stay in the suite's spare room rather than moving his things to his own room this late.

'I'll see you in the morning,' Sirius said, after walking Remus to the door of his bedroom. 'I thought, since we missed the scheduled Q and A session tonight, that I'd skip the television interview and we could catch up then.'

'Won't Alice…?'

'Rip me a new arsehole and make me wear my balls as earrings? Yeah,' Sirius said with a low chuckle. 'She'll yell for a few minutes then tell them I'm resting my voice or some bullshit.'

Remus grinned. 'Alright,' he said. 'It's a date.'

Sirius' smile lost some of its brightness, but the remnants still lingered around his lips as he, after a hesitation, nodded. 'It's a date,' he echoed softly then he held out his hand.

'Goodnight, Remus.'

Remus slipped his hand into Sirius' warm grip, feeling heat spread up his arm. 'Goodnight, Sirius.' The handshake lasted a bit too long, and Remus was certain that Sirius' eyes had darted briefly to his lips before he pulled away.

With a final smile, Sirius walked back to his own room, and Remus shut himself inside his, hard and aching and with an oddly hollow feeling inside.

Chapter Text

Sirius knocked quietly on the door of Remus' room after the others had left the next morning. Alice, as predicted, had thrown her hands around and sighed dramatically for several minutes before agreeing to make Sirius' excuses at the interview. Sirius had ordered breakfast for himself and Remus then endured a hissed combination interrogation/lecture from James who had not been best pleased that Sirius and Remus had buggered off together last night.

'He's just your type, Sirius,' James had whispered furiously in the kitchen while the others waited for him by the door. 'And I know how little self-control you have.'

'Nothing happened,' Sirius had snapped back, irritated over James' lack of faith in him. 'I'm not a fucking animal, James. I'm not going to start uncontrollably humping his leg, no matter how cute he is.'

I'll just wank myself raw all night instead.

James had finally been mollified and left with the others and, when breakfast arrived, Sirius had decided to roust Remus.

He had raised his arm to knock again when the door opened a crack and a bleary-eyed Remus stared out at him. Rogue images of waking up beside this sleep-soft, tousled man flitted through Sirius mind, but he forced them out and smiled at Remus.

'Breakfast is here,' he told him, chuckling softly when Remus yawned and scratched his on-end hair. 'Come out and join me in my last meal before the interrogation begins.'

Remus blinked, looking adorably clueless, and Sirius bit back the urge to take that face in his hands and kiss him. 'I'll wait for you to start,' he said in a rush then turned heel and almost ran before he gave into that (bad, bad, so bad) desire.

He slumped into the dining room chair, picking at the skin of an apple while he waited for Remus. It was strange – how quickly he'd allowed Remus into his head. He had never taken anyone but James to Kingsley's place, and he'd had no intention of taking Remus there but… there was just something about him that made Sirius want to trust him, to open up to him. He kept telling himself that it was Remus' job to appear trustworthy, to get him to reveal all his secrets, but it was getting harder and harder to listen to that voice.

Especially when he tells me I'm hot and looks at me like he wants to fucking eat me and it's been… God, six weeks since that hand job from the technician at the studio.

His cock stirred in his jeans and, with a scowl, he reached down to adjust himself. He was sure after last night's marathon wank session, it would be at least twenty-four hours before he could get it up again, but apparently, where Remus Lupin was concerned, his cock was indefatigable.

He heard a door snick shut and muttered, 'Behave,' to his irrepressible dick before looking up and smiling when a much more awake Remus appeared.

Remus grinned a little self-deprecatingly. 'I'm not a morning person,' he explained. 'Sorry you had to see that.'

Sirius laughed and reached out to lift the covers off their plates. 'That's okay,' he said, handing Remus a plate with bacon and scrambled eggs. 'I was the same until we started touring. Now I can be completely awake in about five seconds flat.' He indicated the plate. 'I just ordered you the same breakfast you had yesterday. Hope that's alright.'

Remus nodded and looked at Sirius' meal. 'You don't like bacon?' he asked, spearing a rasher with his fork and lifting it to his mouth.

'I am… abstaining,' Sirius replied, eyeing Remus' plate covetously while poking at his egg white omelette with tomato and basil. 'I try not to eat a lot of fat when we're not on tour – no concerts to help burn it off.'

'You did a concert yesterday,' Remus reminded him, holding out a slice of bacon on the end of his fork. 'You earned it.'

Sirius bit his lip indecisively then, when Remus wriggled the fork temptingly, Sirius shook his head and gave in, holding out his plate for Remus to transfer it. 'You're bad for me, Remus Lupin,' he grumbled, and Remus leered impressively.

'You have no idea how bad I could be for you,' he quipped, waggling his eyebrows then losing his battle not to laugh at his own ridiculousness.

Sirius joined in, taking a bite of the bacon and letting out a little moan of happiness. 'Oh, God, I'd forgotten how good animal fat tastes.'

He chewed slowly, eyes closed as he savored the hot saltiness on his tongue. When they opened again, he caught Remus staring at him, naked want on his face. A stab of lust made Sirius' cock throb, and he quickly looked away, poking at his omelette.

'So,' he said, needing a distraction. Any distraction. 'How about you start asking those questions?'

Remus had a plan. He would start off with easy questions for which Sirius could reel answers off by rote. Then, when Sirius was comfortable, he would start getting a little more personal. It was a good, well-used tactic. He'd decided on it last night in between frantic and desperately quiet wanks after his day of sexual frustration, mental images of Sirius in leather pants and eyeliner refueling his lust again and again.

He was sneaking surreptitious looks at Sirius – for professional purposes only – noticing he was looking pretty laid back right now as he sipped his coffee. The singer had revealed some little personal things that Remus hadn't read in any other article, but the news that Sirius Black was lactose intolerant, and was deathly afraid of mimes wasn't going to bring in the cash or the recognition that Remus had hoped for when he had ignored his conscience and started this ball rolling.

Remus shoved a piece of toast in his mouth as he tried to focus on where to go next. He had two options: tackle the bisexual angle head on, instead of beating around the bush as he'd done the day before, or he could go with his instincts and investigate Sirius' relationship with his family. He'd realized yesterday that while Sirius' family didn't seem out of the ordinary, Sirius didn't talk about them. Even if someone was trying to maintain privacy, little familial anecdotes crept into conversation. Every single one of The Marauders had been interviewed extensively, and all of them had offered up some funny, little family moments. All except Sirius who had very carefully only answered the question he'd been asked, and not a scrap of anything extra.

Remus' gut told him this was the way to go; his cock really wanted to investigate the whole bisexual situation.

Remus swallowed his mouthful of bread. 'You left home at sixteen,' he said, before his libido convinced him to take a different direction. 'That was early. Was there any particular reason? Any conflict?'

Sirius' face completely changed. Gone was the open, smiling man who'd answered his earlier questions without restraint, and in his place was a guarded, tense man who seemed disinclined to give Remus anything other than directions to hell.

'There was some… difference of opinion,' Sirius said, very deliberately. 'So I felt it best to get some distance before things deteriorated any further.'

'Do you see your parents now?'

'I've been a bit busy with the new album…'

'When was the last time you did see them?'

'I don't know. It's been a while.'

'Why so long?'

'I told you, I've been busy.'

'What was the difference of opinion that sent you packing?'

'It's private and irrelevant to this article.'

'Do you see your brother, Regulus?'

'Fuck you!'

Remus blinked as Sirius shoved his chair back with a loud, grating screech and stood up. 'My brother is off limits. This is over.'

'Why is he off limits? And why don't you ever mention him? Your family must be proud of what you've achieved. Why…?'

Remus stopped as Sirius let out a loud, almost hysterical, laugh.

'Proud? They couldn't be more ashamed of me and my deviant lifestyle,' he snapped, his eyes flashing with fury as Remus slowly rose. 'That's what you want to hear, isn't it? My parents hate me, and my brother is currently drooling all over a pillow in a rehabilitation centre that he will never leave because his brain is the consistency of soup. There! Got your scoop, Clark Kent?'

'Sirius…'

Remus saw the fist coming, but didn't have time to do more than turn his head so the blow caught him on the cheekbone instead of his nose. The force behind the punch sent him reeling back and his arse hit the hard tile floor with a painful thump.

'Fuck! Shit, Sirius!'

'Oh, God.'

Remus pushed himself up onto an elbow, pressing a hand to his throbbing face. Sirius crouched in front of him, and Remus looked at him warily.

'Fuck, I'm sorry,' Sirius said, remorse colouring his words. He was pale and shaking as he reached out to Remus then changed his mind and twisted his hands together. 'God, I'm so sorry…'

Remus could see the pain and regret in those eyes and knew that he'd deserved the smack down for putting that hurt there. He put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. 'Are you okay?'

Sirius huffed out a disbelieving laugh. 'I just punched you in the face and you want to know if I'm okay? If your face hurt my hand?'

'Well, your hand is insured for more than my entire body,' Remus mumbled then he frowned when Sirius laughed again, the noise more like a sob this time. He realized how close to the edge of hysteria Sirius was and grabbed his chin firmly, forcing the other man to look at him.

'Sirius,' he said sharply. 'I'm fine. Look at me.' Sirius' eyes met his and Remus gave him a tense smile. 'I'm fine. You hit like a girl.'

Sirius exhaled on a bark of real laughter this time and shook his head, carding his fingers through his hair before he pushed himself to his feet. Remus sat and watched as Sirius paced.

'You.' Sirius stopped suddenly and pointed at Remus then clenched his hand into a fist, pressing it against his mouth. 'I… don't know what it is about you that makes me…' He shook his head. 'I've never told anyone about that, but you just… fuck! You get under my skin. Even when you were out there on the street with those vultures yelling those stupid questions, you managed to get past any defense I put up.'

He looked desperately at Remus, his eyes pleading. 'How did you do that?' he begged. 'How did you make me want to trust you?'

Remus hauled himself to his feet and stalked towards Sirius whose eyes widened in alarm at the expression of determination on Remus' face. He began to back up as Remus spoke.

'I didn't do anything,' he said quietly, as he bore down on Sirius. 'You have too many secrets, Sirius Black. Maybe you're just ready to share them with someone.'

'A journalist?' Sirius asked doubtfully then he gasped as his back hit the kitchen wall.

'No,' Remus said, stopping in front of Sirius, scant inches between them. 'Remus.'

Remus held his breath as his hand moved of its own accord, cupping Sirius' face as his thumb lightly rubbed over that beautiful bottom lip.

This is a bad idea. A bad, stupid (so stupid) idea.

'I… I don't date journalists,' Sirius stammered, the words barely a whisper, but his tongue darted out to wet his lip, dragging over the top of Remus' thumb in the process.

A slow smile spread across Remus' face. 'Who said anything about dating?' he asked then tilted his head so he could catch Sirius' bottom lip between his own.

At first, Sirius didn't respond, huffing short, sharp breaths against Remus' skin. Then, when Remus' tongue dipped between his lips, Sirius' breath hitched. His lips plucked tentatively at Remus' then, with a groan that sent a reverberation right through Remus' core, Sirius gave in and kissed back.

And Remus' world exploded.

Sirius kissed like he sang: putting everything he had into it and hitting every note perfectly. Remus shuddered as Sirius' tongue found the spot on the roof of his mouth that made his hips buck and his breath catch in his chest. His hands closed around clumps of Sirius' hair, holding on tight as the kiss became greedy and needy. Sirius' hands gripped Remus hard – one in his shirt, holding him close, and one bracing his chin, fingers splayed over Remus' throat.

Remus nipped at Sirius' lip then pulled back far enough to make sure that there were no doubts about what was going to happen next.

'Do you fuck journalists?' he asked breathlessly.

Sirius shook his head minutely, still so close his lips brushed Remus' with every word. 'Not usually, but I'll make an exception for you,' he whispered then he twisted his hips and reversed their positions, smirking at Remus before he crushed their lips together again in a messy, desperate kiss.

Sirius' hands slid under Remus' shirt and followed the line of his spine up his back when Remus arched off the wall, his scratchy callouses scraping over soft skin. A fresh flush of desire surged through Remus as one of his fantasies was realised, and he deepened their kiss, jaw aching as he attempted to taste more and more of the intoxicating flavour that was Sirius. His own hands slipped under the hem of Sirius' t-shirt, ghosting over his stomach, his ribs, to pinch at Sirius' already hard nipples.

Sirius groaned, his hands grabbing at Remus' shirt until it was bunched up under his arms. 'Off,' he hissed and, before Remus had even raised his arms, Sirius was yanking the shirt over his head.

Sirius tossed it onto the floor then pulled off his own shirt as well, discarding it just as eagerly as he did Remus'. Then Sirius slid his hands into Remus' hair as their mouths met in an open, wet kiss, tongues frantically dueling with an urgency that soon had their hips rolling against each other as they struggled for air.

'Shit,' Sirius panted as he forced his hand between their tightly pressed hips and cupped the bulge in Remus' pants. 'I am not fucking you on the floor when there are three beds to choose from, but if we don't move now, I'm going to be.'

Remus grinned, the smile faltering a little as Sirius rubbed his hand along the length of his denim-covered erection. 'Who…who said that you would be… shit… fucking me?'

'You did,' Sirius retorted then he hooked his fingers in Remus' belt loops and tugged firmly as he backed towards his bedroom. 'My place or yours?'

'Fucked if I care,' Remus muttered, gripping the back of Sirius' neck and dragging him in for another kiss as they stumbled through the door of Sirius' bedroom.

Remus kicked the door shut behind him then put his hands on the hard wall of Sirius' chest and pushed him back onto the bed. Sirius laughed and his hands reached purposefully for Remus' fly as Remus crawled up his body.

'You should know,' Remus mumbled as he licked a wet trail over Sirius' throat, 'that it's been a bloody long time for me.'

Sirius choked out a laugh then inhaled sharply when Remus sucked a bruise into the skin near his collarbone. 'And you should know,' he gasped out, tearing open Remus' zipper, 'that if you do that again, I'm going to c… come in my pants.'

Remus groaned and put his hand over Sirius', pressing it harder against the front of his jeans and rocking into the touch. 'God, I don't know if I'll last long enough to do this,' he admitted, surging up to kiss Sirius hard before climbing off the bed.

'Stop wasting time talking then.'

Sirius ripped his fly open fast, grinning and lifting his hips as Remus slipped his fingers under the waistband of Sirius' jeans and pulled. Remus swore under his breath when he realized Sirius wasn't wearing underwear then cursed again when he saw the other man's long, proud erection lying against his flat belly. He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly full of saliva, and prayed that he would get the opportunity to feel the weight of that cock on his tongue.

Once Sirius' jeans had been removed, Remus held up his prize, twirled them above his head a few times like a cowboy with a lasso, before he threw them across the room. Sirius chuckled and sat up, helping Remus kick off his own jeans. Remus' briefs disappeared as well and he made a whimpering sound in his throat as Sirius licked a stripe along his thick shaft then pressed his tongue firmly against the slit at the top of the sensitive head. Remus clenched his fist in Sirius' hair, regretfully pulling that pretty mouth off his cock.

'Fuck me,' he growled, and Sirius' face contorted with a feral expression that sent a thrill of excitement down Remus' spine.

They fell onto the bed, rolling around together and kissing any patch of skin they could reach before Sirius pinned Remus to the mattress. 'Roll over,' he hissed and Remus scurried to obey, flipping himself onto his stomach as Sirius fumbled in the nightstand, emerging with lube and a condom.

'How long is 'a long time'?' Sirius asked as he flipped the top off the lube.

Remus grimaced ruefully, watching Sirius spread the slick over his fingers as he answered, 'About six months for this.'

Sirius paused for the space of a heartbeat then tossed the tube onto the bed beside Remus. 'Tell me if it's too much,' he said, even as one of his fingers pierced Remus' hole.

It didn't burn as much as his own finger had a week earlier, but it was still uncomfortable. Remus found, though, that he didn't particularly care. Coils of need had been tightening in his gut for the last twenty-four hours – hell, for the last week - and he was going to thoroughly embarrass himself by coming all over the bed if Sirius didn't hurry the fuck up.

''nother,' Remus choked out, and Sirius didn't argue, sliding a second finger inside Remus with a little groan.

That did burn, but Remus bore down on the invading fingers, fucking himself slowly at first then rocking back harder and harder until they were both whimpering with need. Sirius' fingers thrummed against his prostate and Remus cried out hoarsely, gripping his cock hard and managing to stop his orgasm just in time.

Sirius, plastered over Remus' back and pressing hot kisses over his skin, whispered brokenly against Remus' shoulder blade, 'Please, please, tell me you're ready?'

Remus drew his knees up under him, his arse in the air. The movement dislodged Sirius' fingers and Remus felt the loss keenly. 'Do it,' he urged, reaching down to adjust himself, trying to recall the last time he'd been this hard.

He heard Sirius breathe, 'Thank God for that,' then there was the unmistakable crinkle of a condom wrapper being torn open. A second later, there was a blunt pressure at his entrance followed by a fierce stretch and burn as Sirius sank inside him in one controlled slide.

Remus had heard the term 'take my breath away' before; he even sang along with the song when he heard it on the radio, but he'd never experienced the sensation of air being pulled from his lungs until now. He fervently tried to suck in oxygen, his head spinning with an adrenaline rush that beat any he'd known till now. He felt the warm weight of Sirius' hand at the base of his spine, and was soothed by the touch, his muscles relaxing. Just as Remus had reclaimed his equilibrium, Sirius began to move, and his world was thrown off kilter once more.

Long, plunging strokes quickly morphed into shorter, shallower thrusts. Sirius' roughened hands closed around Remus' hips and Remus reveled in the firm pressure, knowing Sirius would be leaving bruises in his wake. He tilted his arse, meeting Sirius' every forward motion with his own backward push, his balls squeezing tighter and tighter as Sirius' sac slapped against them.

Flashes of white light burst before Remus' eyes as Sirius' cock grazed his prostate and he tried to muffle his shouts in a pillow. Sirius mumbled something incomprehensible, but changed his angle so the head of his cock was sliding against Remus' prostate every few thrusts. Remus shoved his hand between his legs, gripping the base of his sweat and pre-come slicked cock again to try and slow his rapid climb towards orgasm.

One of Sirius' hands left his hip and slid underneath Remus to pull at his cock. 'I'm close,' Sirius warned, breathing heavily in Remus' ear as he hunched over his back. 'Too fucking close. Don't hold back.'

That calloused hand felt better on his cock than Remus had ever imagined and it only took half a dozen strokes for Sirius to bring him to the edge, the tight tingling at the base of his spine intensifying until Remus felt as though he would shatter when it finally burst.

Sirius' rhythm stuttered then became erratic and just as he cried out, 'Fuck! Coming!' Remus felt the tension inside him snap. The rush of endorphins made his blood roar through his veins so loudly he was certain Sirius could hear it, and powerful pulses of pure pleasure shook him. With every pulse, ribbons of thick ejaculate spilled over Sirius' hand, dripping to the bed beneath them. As the peak faded, aftershocks juddered through him and he could feel Sirius trembling violently behind him. His heart pounded in his ears and, as the rush slowly dissipated, he lost control of his muscles and fell face first into the mattress, Sirius landing on top of him with a loud 'oomph!'

Remus closed his eyes, pressing his face into a pillow as his respiration slowed. Feeling returned to his limbs, and he groaned in complaint as pins and needles prickled at the leg Sirius was crushing.

'Off,' he mumbled, bucking his hips to emphasise his point, and Sirius grunted discontentedly before sliding his spent cock out of Remus' body and rolling off to the side. Remus frowned at the discomforting sensation of being wide open but empty, and squeezed his buttocks together experimentally. A renewed burning sensation flared through him and made him hiss. Sirius, having disposed of the condom, turned his head to look at him.

'Alright?' he asked, voice low and gravelly, and Remus almost rolled his eyes when a spark of interest nestled in his groin.

'Yeah,' he said, experimentally stretching his cramped arms and legs. 'I'll just be sitting carefully and on cushioned surfaces for a day or two.'

Sirius made a face. 'Sorry,' he said, biting at his kiss-swollen bottom lip. 'I should have gone slower…'

'I don't think either of us were capable of going slower,' Remus said with a grin, nudging Sirius' leg with his foot. 'It's nothing. It was well worth it.'

Sirius smiled shyly and that spark in Remus' groin began to smolder. 'It was, wasn't it?' he murmured then he worried his lip again. 'Remus, I… God, I feel like a complete shit for asking this, but…'

'You want to know if this is going to make it into the article?' Remus finished for him and Sirius flushed, but nodded.

Remus ignored the twist of hurt in his chest, telling himself it was only natural that Sirius suspected the worst from him, and reached out, twining his fingers with Sirius'.

'This is most definitely off the record,' he said, tugging Sirius closer then drawing him into the first of a series of slow, lazy kisses that ended in them both drifting off into a sated sleep.

Chapter Text

'Remus! Remus, wake up.'

The annoying voice wouldn't go away and Remus groaned, pulling the pillow over his head. It was immediately pulled away, and there was that voice again…

'Remus! You need to get out.'

Remus grunted. 'Piss off.'

'You need to leave. Now.'

Remus cracked open an eye and smirked when he saw Sirius' nicely rounded arse right in front of his face. 'Nice,' he said hoarsely, and Sirius straightened, glaring over his shoulder at him.

'Stop fooling around and get out of bed.'

'Why?' Remus asked, stretching out a hand and stroking it over a curved buttock. 'I could stand you fucking me again in a few minutes.'

'Ah, that's sweet,' Sirius said acerbically, glowering at Remus then throwing his jeans at his face. 'Unfortunately, this was just a one time performance. The others will be back soon.'

Remus untangled himself from his pants and sat up. 'Does Alice need to approve your one night stands as well?' he asked sourly, annoyed that he'd be roused from a perfectly good sleep and then denied the chance to do all the things he'd just dreamed about doing to the other man.

'Alice doesn't approve of one night stands full stop,' Sirius said, dragging his jeans up his legs then tucking himself in before carefully pulling up the zip. 'And she'll kill me for shagging you, so she cannot find out.'

Remus rolled grudgingly out of bed, yanking his jeans up his legs then pulling them over his arse as he stood. 'How the fuck do you live like this?'

'What?' Sirius asked, finding a clean t-shirt and pulling it over his head. 'Traveling all over the world in private planes, staying in fancy suites with lovely nubile porters and room service people who must obey my every whim?'

'In a fucking fish bowl with someone planning your every move right down to when you take a leak.'

Sirius stared at him. 'It comes with the job,' he said calmly, handing Remus his forgotten underwear.

Remus snatched it from his hand, swearing up a storm as he shoved the item into his pocket. 'Your job sucks,' he snapped and Sirius put his hands on his hips.

'So does yours.'

They stood glaring at each other for a long, frozen moment then Remus closed his eyes, letting out a whoosh of air. 'I'm sorry,' he said, rubbing at his face. 'I'm just… not good after I've just woken up.'

'Yeah, I… me too. The others would kill me for being so stupid and careless with you…'

Remus cocked his head. 'Are they the ones keeping you in the closet?' he asked and Sirius shook his head vigorously.

'No!' he said firmly. 'No, they want me to be honest and tell people.'

'So why don't you?' Remus asked, and Sirius looked at him incredulously.

'Because I would spend the next six months talking about nothing but 'my struggle with my sexuality' in every single interview,' he said, staring at Remus as if he couldn't believe his naivety. 'Because every time I leave the house, I'll have to walk through a crowd of reporters asking me why I kept it hidden, why I lied, asking for inspirational quotes for other young, bisexual men. '

'There will be a bit of public interest for a while…' Remus conceded, and Sirius laughed disbelievingly.

'Remus, every time I so much as look at another man, the next day I'll read that I'm dating him. I'll be expected to be some kind of role model for the bisexual community. There'll be all kinds of speculation about the nature of my friendship with James and Peter and any other man who I ever spent more than five minutes with.' He took a breath and grimaced at Remus. 'It will stop being about the music, about what I'm saying and what we're trying to do, and it will all be about which hole I choose to stick my dick in. I won't be Sirius Black: singer/songwriter anymore. I'll be Sirius Black: bisexual.'

Remus squirmed guiltily, knowing that there was a lot more truth than fiction in what Sirius was saying, and he was torn between defending what he did for a living, and agreeing with him.

'That's not what I do,' he murmured and Sirius shrugged.

'Maybe you still recall your ethics classes,' he said then he snorted softly. 'Well, some of them.'

'What does that mean?' Remus repeated with a frown, crossing his arms over his chest.

'You used your guess about my sexuality to wriggle your way in here to find a story that would look good on your resume, didn't you?' Sirius said with a raised eyebrow. 'You stopped short of extortion, but it was one hell of a manipulation to get yourself this close to me. It's exactly what the editors of those rags you sell with would expect you to do, but I don't think you're all that comfortable with how this all came about.'

Remus raised his chin defiantly, but Sirius must have seen a flash of agreement in his eyes because he smiled.

'You aren't a hard-nosed, no-heart pap who would sell his own mother for a scoop,' Sirius explained, stepping closer. 'You aren't willing to let the devil have your soul to get the story. You're willing to keep this…' He gestured between them. '… to yourself. Do you think any of those pricks you run with would do that?'

'I never said I wanted to be like them,' Remus objected. 'I don't want to be like them, but I have to eat! I have to keep a roof over my head! This was never going to be some gossipy article full of half-truths and innuendo, Sirius. I admit, the approach I used to get here wasn't particularly moral, but I never intended to shaft you.'

'I know,' Sirius said softly, moving until he was standing close enough for Remus to touch, and despite this impromptu confrontation, his hands itched to do just that. He clenched his fists at his side in an attempt to resist the temptation, swallowing hard when he felt Sirius' breath warming his cheek.

'You're a good person, Remus,' Sirius said, his gaze connecting with Remus'. 'And I believe you'll do the right thing.'

Remus deflated, his irritation disappearing at the sight of the certainty in Sirius' eyes. He sighed heavily and let go of his stubborn pride. 'I am sorry about the way I came at all of this,' Remus said, with an air of resignation. 'You didn't deserve that.'

Sirius smiled then closed the small distance between them, pressing his lips briefly to Remus' then said, 'Thank you.'

The others returned soon after, Lily noticing the blooming bruise on Remus' face, and Remus passing it off as him walking into an unfamiliar wall whilst half-asleep. They all ate a quick lunch together and changed into something more dressy. Remus was dragged along in Sirius and James' wake as they attended a charity luncheon for drug education, presenting a cheque to the administrators. They stuck around a little while for photographs then Alice firmly steered them back to the car.

They spent the rest of the day filming a segment for a talk show, Remus sitting backstage at the studio and chuckling along with the audience as James and Sirius kept them and the host entertained with their antics. He made some notes about the day then tapped his pen against his lips, mind wandering between what had happened between he and Sirius in the bedroom, and the moments before Remus had received the rather impressive bruising on his face.

He had some time to talk with Sirius later tonight; his last chance to try and get inside the other man's head. He understood Sirius' intense need for privacy, his desperate desire to keep something back for himself. He understood Sirius' concerns that the public's voracious appetite would drain him of everything, and he had to acknowledge that Sirius' fears weren't unjustified. Remus had seen the press pack take down more than one celebrity who had strayed too far from the herd, and it made him ache to think of Sirius suffering at their hands.

But there was still a lingering mystery that Remus wanted to get to the bottom of: Sirius' family. Sirius' escape into music had stemmed from something in his childhood, from issues with his family, and Sirius' outburst about his brother (before the punch and the mind-blowing sex) had only made Remus more determined to complete the puzzle.

Remus sat back and observed over dinner. For the most part, the group was as playful and cheery as they had been that first morning, but when he looked closer, he saw the tension in Sirius' shoulders, the crease etched into James' forehead. Remus recalled that the two men had disappeared to the bathroom at the beginning of the meal and wondered if they'd argued.

When the meal ended, the others went back to their suites, but Sirius snagged the sleeve of Remus' jacket and held him back.

'Come with me?' he asked softly and Remus nodded, surprised when Sirius slid his hand down his arm and laced their fingers together.

Sirius led him back into the lift and hit the button for the roof. At Remus' questioning glance, Sirius explained, 'The occupiers of the suites have access to the roof garden as well.'

'You're planning on throwing me off then?' Remus asked with a grin.

Sirius chuckled. 'Tempting, but no.'

The door of the lift opened with a muted 'bing' and Remus stepped out after Sirius, a smile spreading across his face when he saw the rooftop getaway. Rattan mats softened the concrete floor and a large glass pergola provided shelter without hindering the most glorious view of the London sky. Potted trees and shrubs screened a lounging room off from the conversational area, and window boxes of flowering plants created a subtle perfume which floated delicately on the air. A scattering of tiny fairy lights gave the area a magical feel and a few lit torches gave off enough light to see by and lent a soft glow that could be soothing, or peaceful, or romantic…

There was a tug on his hand and Sirius pulled him into a warm, wet kiss. Remus' surprise didn't stop him from opening his mouth to welcome Sirius' soft tongue, stroking over the tip with his own before flicking at Sirius' lip.

With a muffled groan, Sirius tore his lips away. 'I… bugger. I didn't bring you here for this,' he said, extracting his hand from Remus' and dragging them both through his hair. 'I just couldn't…' He smiled reticently. 'You're a bloody good kisser and it's been a while for me too.'

Remus grinned, his eyes still on Sirius' lips. 'How long?'

Sirius shrugged, turning and walking towards the lounging area. 'Since I was kissed and kissed well? God, years.' Remus couldn't hide his disbelief and Sirius made a face. 'My sex life has consisted of blow jobs or a mutual wank in pretty nasty places for quite a while. Not much kissing involved.'

He stopped walking suddenly and winced. 'Christ, are you sure you haven't drugged me with some kind of truth serum? I can't shut myself up around you.'

'How about I leave that as a general 'there hasn't been anyone special for quite some time' in the write up?' Remus offered and Sirius smiled his thanks.

They reached the screened off area and Remus stood, hands in his pockets, as Sirius sank down onto a low lying cushioned lounge with a heavy sigh. He looked up at Remus.

'James told me that, since I obviously can't keep my mouth shut around you, I should give you the whole story about my… family and then throw myself upon your mercy and beg you not to print the details.'

Remus sat down beside Sirius, the couch big enough for him to cross his legs Indian-style underneath him. 'How about you tell me then we can talk about how much you want me to include?' he suggested.

'None of it?' Sirius said hopefully.

Remus rolled his eyes and pulled out his iPod. 'Just start talking, Black,' he said lightly, fiddling with the settings then setting it down between them and looking at Sirius expectantly.

'Um… okay,' Sirius said, taking a deep breath. 'This is one of those things that isn't just mine to tell, and I'm pretty sure that, if you were to ask them, my family would have an entirely different version of events…'

'Just tell me your version,' Remus said encouragingly, seeing Sirius was having trouble getting started. 'How about you tell me why you left home so young?'

He saw Sirius' throat undulate as the other man swallowed hard. 'I left home because I was given an ultimatum: give up my music or my family. I chose music.'

'Why would your parents make you choose?' Remus asked, horrified.

'Because they blamed me for my brother's drug overdose,' Sirius said in a near-whisper. His eyes rose, finding Remus', and Remus felt a surge of protectiveness when he saw the self-loathing there. He gripped Sirius' shaking hand in his own and smiled reassuringly.

'Tell me.'

'I have loved music since my very first piano lesson when I was five,' Sirius began, voice low. 'Regulus hated it; he never had the discipline needed to practice and evolve.' He bit his lip then kept going. 'But when he went to school, he began learning how to play the drums and made friends with some other blokes in the music department.'

He released Remus' hand and stood up, beginning to pace. 'I told him to stay away from them. They weren't serious about music, and they were more interested in the lifestyle than the instruments.'

He sighed again and rubbed a hand across his eyes. 'Reg started off smoking pot then he was talked into trying some coke. I tried to talk to him, to get him some help, but those bastards…'

His face contorted with pain and Remus saw his eyes glistening. 'They gave him heroin – accidental overdose, the hospital said. He's been in a respite centre since he was fifteen. His brain is fucking sludge, Remus. He can't talk, he doesn't understand when I talk to him. He can't eat by himself, he can't dress himself, he can't take a fucking piss by himself.'

Remus unfolded his legs and stood up. 'I'm sorry, Sirius,' he said, but Sirius waved him off.

'My parents blamed me,' he continued. 'They said that it was my influence that drew Regulus to music, to those utter cunts…' He yelled the words then his breath hitched as they listened to them echo around the city and Sirius tried to get himself back under control. 'They told me I had to give it all up; that it was my deviant lifestyle that had led to Regulus being tempted by drugs, and that giving it up was my penance.'

He looked at Remus, eyes wide and unblinking and unfathomable. 'I chose music.' He clenched his jaw and raised his chin as if daring Remus to question his choice, to judge him.

'You had nothing to do penance for,' Remus said softly, moving closer. 'It wasn't your fault.'

'I know that.'

'Do you?' Remus asked, stopping when he stood directly in front of Sirius. 'Isn't this why you close yourself off? Because you're trying to atone for something you didn't do?'

The steely defiance in Sirius' eyes flickered and the muscle in his jaw leaped. 'No,' he said unconvincingly.

Remus took Sirius' chin in his hand, his thumb tracing the edge of Sirius' bottom lip. 'I think you do,' he said softly, finally understanding. 'You hide that part of yourself because you think you should have given this all up, and you feel guilty. I think that you believe you don't deserve this, don't deserve happiness, so you hold yourself back. You don't give all of yourself to anyone – only letting us have a tiny glimpse of it on stage - so you've got somewhere safe and untouched by another person to retreat when everything is finally taken away as punishment.'

'Remus…'

'And you are fucking terrified because I know your secrets and I'm not running away or blaming you,' Remus whispered, cupping Sirius' face between his palms. 'You are scared to death because I got to see you and I didn't act according to plan. I'm still here.'

He saw Sirius' expression waver for a moment before the stoicism collapsed and he lurched forward to crash their mouths together. The impact sent them careening back until Remus' legs met the edge of the lounge and they collapsed onto it in a crazy knot of limbs. Remus let out a grunt of pain as Sirius' knee dug into his thigh then followed it up with a groan when the knee shifted and Sirius' groin aligned perfectly with his.

Their teeth clinked and tongues messily tangled as the kiss continued. Hands moved with no grace, only a fervent resolve to rid each other of their pants as quickly as possible. Harsh breathing was loud in the air, muting the distant sounds of traffic from way down below and, when Sirius' cool hand wrapped firmly around his hot shaft, Remus let out a moan that could have been heard in the lobby.

'Fuck,' Sirius mumbled into Remus' mouth. 'So hard.'

Remus whimpered as Sirius gave him one long stroke. He finally managed to slide his hand between denim and flesh and close his fingers around Sirius' erection, feeling a satisfied buzz when he realized the other man was every bit as hard as he was.

Sirius hissed when Remus dragged his thumb over the already leaking slit then broke their kiss and dropped his head to Remus' shoulder when that thumb probed further, wriggling and sliding along the sensitive tip. He thrust into the circle of Remus' fingers, his own hand tightening around Remus' cock.

'Here,' Remus gasped out, grabbing Sirius' arse with one hand and pulling him closer.

Sirius braced himself with one hand on the back of the couch while the other helped Remus press their cocks together. They both moaned, low and deep, with their first uncoordinated stroke then Remus' breath caught in his throat as they settled into a steady rhythm. He let his head fall back against the couch, staring up at Sirius with more than a little awe.

He was beautiful. His pale skin shone silver as the moon's rays bounced off it, his hair falling like a velvet curtain around his face. And most incredible of all, he was staring at Remus with the same wonder and want that was threatening to overwhelm Remus.

'Remus…' Sirius whispered then leaned in and kissed him, tentatively, gently at first, lips meeting over and over in soft kisses that gradually became firmer and deeper until Remus felt like he consuming and being consumed.

Their hands expertly tugged and stroked and rubbed until they both hung on the edge then, as Sirius' lips sucked lightly at his pulse point, Remus cried out. His fingers dug bruisingly into the flesh of Sirius' buttock as he clutched the other man closer, his orgasm rocketing through him with an intensity that shook him to his core. He let out a little whine when he felt Sirius' teeth sink into his neck then shuddered when another flush of heat washed over their connected fingers.

With one last badly aimed kiss that brushed over the corner of Remus' mouth, Sirius pressed their foreheads together as they tried to catch their breath. Remus ran his hand over Sirius' hip then slid it up the back of Sirius' shirt, letting his fingers follow the hills and valleys of the other man's spine until he reached his nape. He threaded his fingers through the sweat-dampened hair there, closing his eyes when he felt Sirius' hand caressing the same spot on his neck.

'Tell me I'm wrong,' Remus murmured and Sirius closed his eyes, needing no reminder of what Remus was referring to.

Several heartbeats later, he opened them again and Remus' heart hurt seeing the loneliness there.

'But you are leaving,' Sirius said softly, those quietly spoken words making the ache that had been an irritating itch in Remus' chest all day blossom into full blown pain and, for a moment, Remus found it a little hard to breathe.

'Yes,' he agreed quietly.

Sirius nodded, looking as though he was going to say something, then he glanced down at the mess of viscous fluid between them. 'That was a hell of a farewell,' he said and when he looked up again, Sirius' eyes were carefully shielded. 'We should clean up so you can get home.'

Remus licked his dry lips. Seeing the distance Sirius was putting between them hurt more than seeing the sadness, but he followed the other man's lead, looking down at their come-smeared fingers, still curled around their spent cocks. 'I have a handkerchief,' he mumbled, tilting his head to the side. 'My left pocket…'

Sirius fumbled in Remus' pocket for the square scrap of cloth and they wiped themselves off as best they could. Sirius pushed himself off Remus' lap and tucked himself away, neither man meeting the others' eye. It was awkward, an air of things left unsaid surrounding them, and Remus' brow creased. He didn't want to leave like this.

'I won't print what you told me,' he said quietly, slipping his iPod into his pocket. 'I'll write the bare minimum…'

'No,' Sirius interrupted. 'You should print it. Most of it, anyway. The bit about Regulus and how he succumbed to the pressure to take drugs. He's the reason we do so much work with children's charities and drug awareness groups.' He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 'You should tell his story for him.'

'You'll get asked about it later on,' Remus reminded him. 'Once it's out there…'

'I know,' Sirius said, giving him a tight smile. 'First time's the hardest, yeah? And you made the telling relatively painless.' The smile relaxed a little. 'Quite pleasurable, actually.'

Remus chuckled and some of the tension between them eased. 'I don't think I've ever had such a… pleasant experience information gathering, Mr Black,' he said cheekily and Sirius grinned.

'And you have definitely been a first for me, Mr Lupin,' he returned then he stuck out his hand. 'It was very nice getting to know you.'

Remus took his hand and shook it. 'You too,' he replied then surprised Sirius and himself by pulling the other man into a quick kiss.

When they parted, Sirius laughed in delight, the sound making Remus smile broadly, then they departed the rooftop garden to say farewell to the others.

Chapter Text

'Sirius! That's your cue!' James snapped into the microphone as the music faded.

Sirius blinked and looked over his shoulder at his annoyed band mates. 'God, sorry,' he said, embarrassed that he'd missed the cue for the next verse twice now. 'I was…'

'…not here,' Peter finished for him, unscrewing the cap on a bottle of water and lifting it to his mouth.

'You haven't been here for over a week now,' Lily said, walking around her drum kit and striding down the three stairs to the front of the stage. 'You keep missing your cues and messing up the lyrics. That gorgeous body of yours is a sight to behold, but sooner or later, the crowd is going to want to hear you sing for your supper, sweetheart.'

'You think he's got a gorgeous body?' James asked, staring at Lily worriedly.

'I'm sorry,' Sirius reiterated, a little more forcefully this time. 'I know I've been a bit…'

'Flaky?' offered Peter.

Lily grinned. 'Dopey?'

'Grumpy?' Peter countered and then he smirked. 'Maybe he needs a kiss from Prince Charming to wake him, just like Snow White.'

Lily sniggered as she stared at Sirius appraisingly. 'There are striking similarities – skin like fallen snow, hair the colour of a raven...'

'Fuck. Off.'

'Lil, seriously? Is his body better than mine?'

'Look, Snow White, you have to sort yourself out,' Lily said, folding her arms over her chest. 'I don't know for sure what's gotten into you…'

'Though we've got a fair idea,' muttered Peter with a grimace.

'But you need to get your head straight before the publicity starts for real. You've only got two days before the album release then things are going to be crazy. Do you need some time out? A night off, or…'

'Yeah,' Sirius broke in, a smile spreading across his face. 'You're right, Lily. I think I need a night away. We all do.'

He surprised them by handing Peter his guitar. 'Thanks,' he said brightly. 'I'll have my phone, but don't call me unless someone is dead.' Then, with a final grin, he left the stage.

'Is this a good idea?' Peter asked Lily and she shrugged.

'I don't know,' she admitted, watching Sirius as he jogged towards the venue exit. 'But he hasn't smiled like that for nearly a week now. We've got to trust that he knows what he's doing.'

'Lily!' said James, exasperated. 'It's my arse, isn't it? I swear, it's these bloody jeans that make it look bigger than it is…'

Remus sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face. His eyes stung and he glanced at the clock. Five o'clock… God, he'd been working on his article since before lunch without a break. No wonder his eyes felt like they were full of sand. He stood and stretched, relishing the pleasant pulling sensation in his cramped muscles. There was nothing to eat in his fridge so he didn't bother looking; instead, he picked up the phone to call for a pizza.

A knock on the door startled him and he shoved the phone between his ear and shoulder as he answered it.

'Hello,' he said to the man on the stairs. 'Can I… oh!'

A slow, unsure smile spread across his face when the man pushed back the hood of his jacket, revealing jet-black hair and a shit-eating grin.

'Can I come in?' Sirius Black asked, sliding his sunglasses off. 'I feel a bit exposed out here.'

'Uh, yeah,' Remus said, blinking a few times and inwardly rejoicing when Sirius didn't disappear.

Remus shifted to the side, allowing Sirius to walk into the flat, and if he'd still had his doubts that this was just an apparition, the woodsy scent that lingered in Sirius' wake put them to rest. He would never forget that smell. Remus shut the door, still in a daze, then hung up the phone, extinguishing the tinny little voice on the other end.

'What… what are you doing here?' he asked incredulously, eyes traveling hungrily from Sirius' face to his feet and back again.

Sirius grinned, tossing his sunglasses onto the kitchen table. 'Well, I got to thinking,' he said casually, looking around the room, 'that things weren't quite finished between us. We left things a bit lopsided.'

Remus wasn't sure if it was shock making his brain work so slowly, but he was sure he didn't understand a word Sirius was saying.

'Huh?'

Sirius chuckled and unzipped his hoodie, shrugging it off and throwing it down on top of his sunglasses. 'See, I'm all about sharing and fairness,' he said, his gaze roaming over Remus' body and when their eyes met again, there was a predatory glint in the grey depths. 'I got to fuck you, but you didn't get to do me. So, I'm here to take my turn on the bottom.'

Remus' uncertain smile broadened happily and he dropped the phone with a clatter. It took three long strides to reach Sirius then only a matter of a second for Remus to fist the other man's t-shirt in his hands and pull him roughly against his chest for a hard, greedy kiss.

Sirius groaned and wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, returning the kiss with equal eagerness. He gasped when Remus suddenly spun him around and pushed him against the kitchen table, then moaned in complaint when he pulled back.

'How long have you got?' Remus asked gruffly, chest rising and falling rapidly.

'Barring emergencies,' Sirius said breathlessly. 'All night.'

Remus grinned wolfishly then without another word, sank to his knees and began to unfasten Sirius' button fly.

'God, Remus,' Sirius groaned, putting both hands on the table to hold himself up.

Remus leaned forward to mouth at the bulge in Sirius' pants then in one swift motion, pulled the jeans down to Sirius' knees. 'I love that you don't wear underwear,' he muttered then he circled his fingers around Sirius' swelling cock and looked up at the other man through his eyelashes. 'Watch me.'

'Hell, yeah,' Sirius growled, shifting his weight to one hand and carding the fingers of the other through Remus' light-brown hair.

Remus licked his lips then leaned in and ran his tongue lightly over the crease at Sirius' upper thigh, smirking when he felt Sirius' fingers tighten in his hair. He buried his nose in the dark curls at the base of Sirius' cock and breathed in deeply, his own cock reacting to the scent of man. It had been a long time since he'd last done this and Sirius was perfect – long and pink and just the right girth so that Remus' mouth would be stretched, but not beyond his limits. He feathered light kisses along the underside, feeling the fat vein there pulse under his ministrations.

Sirius made a little noise when Remus' tongue traced the raised rim of his crown then groaned out loud when it delved into his moist slit. His hips canted forward in encouragement and Remus chuckled before taking the hint and closing his lips around the soft cock head.

'Fuuuuck,' Sirius breathed then he cursed again when Remus sucked lightly and stroked his tongue over the leaking slit. 'Christ, you're good at this.'

Remus waited until he'd taken a significant portion of Sirius' cock into his mouth before he answered with a drawn-out hum that made Sirius hiss and tug painfully at Remus' hair. He smiled as best he could around Sirius' shaft then sucked so hard it hollowed his cheeks as he pulled off.

It didn't take long for Sirius to start thrusting urgently into Remus' mouth, whimpering with need as Remus worked his tongue and teeth expertly. All it took to send him careening over the edge was Remus' hand firmly cupping his balls, and a questing finger rubbing along his perineum. Remus drew back when he felt Sirius' cock pulse, sucking hard on the head before a broken cry preceded a flood of hot, bitter come over Remus' tongue. Remus swallowed hard, bobbing his head on Sirius' cock a few more times before the other man slumped back against the table and gently, but insistently tugged at Remus' hair.

'Too much now,' he panted and, with a final lick, Remus let the softening cock slip from his mouth.

He licked his sticky lips, tasting a fresh burst of come on his tongue, then Sirius' mouth was on his and his tongue was dragging desperately over Remus'. They fell back onto the hard, vinyl-covered floor and, within a minute, Sirius had removed Remus' pants and was happily returning the favour.

'So did you really just come here for a blow job?' Remus asked once he'd gotten his breath back.

Sirius chuckled and rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. 'Actually, I came here to get a cock in my arse; the blow job was a bonus,' he said, reaching out to pluck at the hem of Remus' shirt.

'Aren't you supposed to be rehearsing for your tour?' Remus said, smiling a little when Sirius' thumb skimmed over his stomach. 'The album's coming out in a day or so, isn't it? You must have publicity stuff to do.'

'Mm,' Sirius murmured, pushing Remus' shirt up and laying his hand flat on his exposed ribs. 'Been rehearsing. This is me taking a break.'

There was a moment of silence then Sirius asked, 'So, how's my piece coming along?'

His fingers plotted the trajectory of Remus' bottom rib then ghosted along the line of his sternum, disappearing under the bunched cotton of Remus' shirt. Remus was quiet while Sirius ran a blunt fingernail along his collarbone, but grabbed his hand when it edged towards his armpit.

'Ticklish?' Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow devilishly. 'I'd like to explore that further.' He tried to pull his hand from Remus' grasp, but Remus held on tight.

'A little,' he admitted. 'But I'm more interested in you telling me what's wrong.'

Sirius' smile lost some of its brightness. 'What makes you think something is wrong?' he asked.

Remus let go of Sirius' hand and sat up, pulling his shirt down to cover his stomach. 'Because you turned up here out of the blue for a fuck when you have a number of people a lot closer to home who are more than willing to roll over for you,' he said, awkwardly standing and pulling his jeans back up. 'Are you worried about the article? I said I'd send it to you for approval. Do you really think I'd try and screw you over?'

'No!' Sirius lay on his back and tugged his jeans over his hips. He quickly fastened the bottom two buttons then pushed himself to his feet. 'I do trust you. I was just making conversation.'

'Are you sure? It's a long way to come just for a shag.'

'I'm sure…'

'And how did you find out where I lived anyway?'

'I know people. Remus, I trust you. I'm not checking up on you.'

'So why are you here?'

'Because I wanted to see you!' Sirius shouted, his words seeming to echo around the room. 'I fucking missed you, alright!'

His eyes widened at the admission and he bit his lip as if trying to belatedly hold the words back. Remus frowned in confusion. Sirius wanted to see him? His heart skipped a beat then started again at double time. Sirius missed him?

Don't, Remus. Just don't. He'll break your heart.

Remus opened and closed his mouth, not sure what he was supposed to say. Sirius looked equally ill at ease. He let out a sigh and lowered himself into a chair, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

'Look,' he said wearily. 'I've been distracted and I think it's because we left things a bit… undone. I told you things I'd only ever told James before and then we did what we did and suddenly, you were gone. I think I just needed a proper end without all the emotion and angst and shit getting in the way.'

He looked up at Remus, lips still beautifully swollen from their earlier activities, eyes unguarded and honest. 'I like you,' he admitted with a little shrug. 'I just wanted to have some fun with you before we called it a day.'

Remus contemplated Sirius for a long minute. His heart was still thumping at a worrisome pace. He had been disconcerted by how much he'd missed Sirius' company the first few days back at home. He had thrown himself into work by day, leaving the ridiculous moping and yearning for the dark hours when he wanked over and over again to the memory of their two short days together.

It was farcical, absurd, that he should be longing for something that he'd never really had. Remus told himself it was impossible to fall so hard and so fast, but for the last week there had been a horrible emptiness in his chest that he tried hard not to acknowledge and, now Sirius was here, it was filled again.

And Remus wasn't sure if he should make the most of one last night with Sirius, or send him packing before his heart was irreparably cracked.

'I'll go if you don't want me here,' Sirius said quietly, but not softly enough to hide the vulnerability in his voice, and Remus' decision was made.

He closed the distance between them, Sirius rising to meet him. 'Are you still on that ludicrous diet that doesn't allow you to eat anything that has flavour?' Remus asked, putting his hands on Sirius' waist and drawing him closer.

Their hips bumped together and Sirius smiled as he wrapped his fingers loosely around Remus' wrists. 'I am,' he replied. 'Why?'

'I was going to get pizza, but if your leather pants couldn't tolerate you eating a little fat...'

'You're trying to fatten me up,' Sirius accused, his own hands sliding up Remus' arms to link around his neck. 'I won't thank you when my leather pants bust open at the seam on stage and the world gets to see my fine arse.'

Remus let his hands drop a little and rubbed his thumbs over the jut of Sirius' hipbone. 'I'll get vegetarian,' he compromised. 'I wouldn't want your arse to become more famous than you.'

'Vegetarian it is then,' Sirius agreed then he angled his head so he could press a kiss to Remus' lips. He pulled back just a little, letting their lips slide together as he spoke. 'And I'd very much like to familiarize you with my arse sooner rather than later.'

'Mm,' Remus hummed, leaning into the embrace and letting his hands drift around to Sirius' buttocks. 'I'd like that too.'

The light brush of lips firmed and Remus sighed contentedly when Sirius' tongue flicked at his top lip. It was a soft, sweet kiss that set off all kinds of explosions in Remus' brain, and a delicious prickle of awareness spread from his lips all the way down to his toes. This felt too good, he could get used to this too quickly, so he broke the kiss and tried to put some space between them.

'I'll order the pizza,' he said hoarsely, giving Sirius a little push. 'You… my laptop is over there on the desk. The article is on the screen if you want to read it.'

A little line formed between Sirius' eyes. 'I really didn't…'

'I know,' Remus assured him, caging Sirius' face in his palms and kissing the tip of his nose. 'I'd like you to read it though. Make sure I got the quotes correct.'

Sirius beamed and almost bounced across the room to the desk, dropping into the seat and scrolling to the top of the screen. Remus watched him for a moment, trying not to think of how relaxed Sirius looked here then found the phone he'd discarded earlier and pressed redial.

Remus opened his eyes, blinking once, twice. He stared unseeingly at his ceiling. It wasn't morning; it was still grey and dim in his bedroom, and he wasn't sure what had woken him from a dreamless sleep. He closed his eyes again then snapped them open when he heard a low snuffling noise and a warm leg slid over his.

Suddenly the events of the night before came crashing back and his smile grew until it was splitting his face. Remus turned his head slowly, just in case the last twelve hours had been a dream, but the messy dark hair spread across the pillow next to his confirmed that this was very real. Sirius Black was here. Sirius Black had spent the night in his ratty old bed. Sirius Black had let Remus fuck him hard and fast then they had curled up under the sheets, eating cold pizza and talking until they drifted off.

Remus couldn't drag his gaze away, drinking in the sight of Sirius' relaxed and peaceful face as he slept sprawled on his stomach next to him. He suppressed a yawn; he could sleep anytime, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Once in a lifetime.

Remus worried his bottom lip, rattled by how the whole body ache intensified when he thought of never seeing Sirius again after tonight. He carefully stretched out a hand, brushing black strands of hair away from Sirius' face. He tried not to think about how wonderfully right this felt – waking up next to Sirius – and instead just tried to soak up as much of the other man as he could for as long as he could.

'That's creepy, you know.'

Remus started. Sirius' eyes were still closed, but his mouth was curved into a slight smile.

'What's creepy?' Remus asked softly.

'Watching me sleep,' Sirius murmured, eyes still shut. 'Romantic, but creepy.'

Remus released a breath of amusement, and Sirius opened his eyes. 'Thought you were crap in the mornings,' he said, stretching his body like a cat.

'Haven't had enough sleep to be cranky about being woken up,' Remus told him.

They were speaking in hushed tones, as if talking too loudly would awaken reality and this cocoon they'd been nestled in all night would break open. Sirius moved his hand, stretching it out until the backs of his curled fingers were skating over Remus' rough jaw.

'This is nice,' he whispered, and Remus' heart clenched.

'What? My stubble?' he joked and Sirius snorted out a laugh.

'Yeah,' he said. 'You do look nice scruffy. But I meant this… waking up next to someone I don't want to see the back of as soon as possible.'

'I'm flattered,' Remus said dryly, and Sirius chuckled deep in his throat.

'You should be,' he retorted, the leg stretched over Remus' limbs hooking around his calves in an attempt to drag him closer. 'I don't spend the night with just anyone, you know.'

Remus rolled his eyes, but slid across the bed, slipping an arm over Sirius' back and kissing his bare shoulder. 'I'm special, am I?' he teased, trailing his lips across Sirius' shoulder blade then nuzzling his face into the hair covering Sirius' nape.

He almost missed the quiet reply, 'Yes, you are.'

Almost.

Remus froze for a second then continued his exploration of Sirius' neck, scraping his teeth over the top vertebrae. 'Is this alright?' he asked softly and Sirius hummed an affirmative as he gently arched his back.

Remus swept his flattened palms over the sleep-warm skin, skimming down Sirius' sides lightly and making the other man twitch at the tickling touch. His lips followed slowly, traversing the wide expanse of skin on a journey to discover how every inch tasted, delighting in the range of reactions he drew from the squirming man beneath him.

He reached the hollow at the base of Sirius' spine and mapped out the curve with his hand first before he allowed his tongue to follow into the dip. His palms came to rest on Sirius' buttocks, hands gently curling to fit perfectly against the shape of the muscles. Sirius moaned and wriggled his arse. Remus smiled and bit down playfully on his right arse cheek then soothed the indent with his tongue.

'Bastard,' Sirius murmured, his voice lacking any bite.

Remus shifted, parting Sirius' legs and urging him to lift up so he could jam a pillow under his hips. While Sirius was trying to figure out how to lie comfortably with his erection, Remus leaned over the side of the bed and scooped up the still open tube of lube and a condom. While he spread some of the slick over his fingers, he bent down and pressed tiny kisses along the curve of Sirius' arse where it met his thigh. Sirius groaned softly then groaned again, louder, when Remus' tongue trailed lazily along the crease between his buttocks.

With his knees, he pushed Sirius' legs as far apart as they would go, making a soft strangled noise when the change in position exposed Sirius' sac and perineum. He flattened himself against the bed and took a testes into his mouth, rolling it around with his tongue and suckling lightly.

He heard Sirius' muffled cursing and let the ball go with a pop. He stroked his thumbs down either side of the cleft between Sirius' buttocks then carefully pushed the cheeks apart. He flicked his tongue over the bared pucker – still a little swollen from their earlier fucking - and watched it clench then flare in reaction.

'Remus… Fuck, Remus,' Sirius choked out, his fingers tearing at the sheets and his cries went straight to Remus' cock, making it impossibly hard.

He dragged the flat of his tongue along the crease then lightly lapped at the darker skin until Sirius was babbling nonsensically and rocking his hips back and forth. Only then did Remus firm his tongue into a point and wriggle it inside, thrusting it deeper and deeper until Sirius was open and wet and begging him for more.

Remus slid a finger inside the loosened hole, but Sirius shook his head vigorously. 'You,' he demanded hoarsely, grabbing the condom off the mattress and tossing it back towards Remus. 'You, now.'

Remus tore the condom wrapper open with his teeth as he sat back on his haunches. He fumbled a little as he rolled it down his shaft, his hands shaking with need. Sirius suddenly twisted beneath him, rolling onto his back and readjusting the pillow underneath him.

'I like variety,' was all he said when Remus looked at him curiously then all words failed them when Sirius raised his legs and pulled them in tight to his chest.

Remus swiped his lube-sticky fingers over his shaft then aligned himself and, with one breathtaking slide, buried himself inside Sirius. God, he was hot and tight and fuck, they fit so perfectly together…

'Fuckfuckfuck.'

Remus moaned helplessly as his orgasm threatened, dropping his head to Sirius' chest as he breathed through the urge to come right now. He pressed open-mouthed kisses to the sweat-slippery skin and, as the immediacy ebbed, allowed Sirius to drag him up for an almost chaste kiss which felt anything but innocent. They stole kisses as Remus began to move: soft pecks at first as Remus rocked slowly then their mouths began to linger, tongues tasting and mimicking the motion as the thrusts became harder, deeper.

Sirius wrapped his legs around Remus' back, digging his heels in as he used the position to gain leverage and meet each of Remus' plunges. Their kisses had morphed into one long, messy snog as they moved together erratically, Sirius crying out softly with each plunge as Remus grazed his prostate. Knowing his own end was close, Remus reached between their bodies, but Sirius seized his wrist and pressed it back into the mattress.

'Don't need… shit!'

With a powerful shudder, Sirius arched up. As he spilled – hot and sticky - between their bellies, Sirius' muscles tightened around Remus and dragged him over the edge, a whispered mantra of Sirius' name on his lips.

'Oh,' Remus whimpered, trying to hold himself up on badly shaking arms. His head fell to Sirius' shoulder and he turned his face into Sirius' neck, breathing hot gusts of air into Sirius' neck. 'God, that was... '

Sirius' hands loosened their tight grip on Remus' biceps and circled around his back, gently applying pressure with his arms and legs until Remus let his weight drop against Sirius' chest.

'Yeah,' Sirius whispered into Remus' ear, his breath shaky on the exhale. 'It was.'

Remus pressed his face hard into Sirius' damp neck, trying to convince himself that he hadn't really felt the incredible electricity arcing between them, that he really hadn't felt that deep connection that both scared the wits out of him, and made him long for things he didn't understand. He breathed tremulously into Sirius' neck trying to pretend that he didn't want to cry right now at the thought of never experiencing this again.

'I'm heavy,' he said eventually when the silence became too thick.

Sirius shook his head, tightening his embrace. 'No,' he said simply. He paused for a heartbeat then said with a tiny laugh, 'Never managed that before – coming like that.'

Remus closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Sirius' salty skin. 'We're good together,' he murmured and he felt Sirius nod.

'Yeah,' he said a little sadly then Remus felt fingers carding carefully through his hair.

'Get some more sleep,' Sirius murmured, kissing Remus on the top of his head. 'I want you to get enough sleep to be grumpy. You're cute when you're grumpy.'

Remus huffed out a breath of amusement and slid off onto the mattress, his body disengaging from Sirius'. He didn't go far, curling up against Sirius' side with his head over his steadily beating heart. Sirius' hand cupped his head comfortingly, his fingers toying with strands of Remus' hair. It was so sweetly domestic that Remus felt a lump form in his throat. He swallowed hard then closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax. Under Sirius' gentle petting, he started to drift off, not sure if he imagined the kiss on his forehead before everything went black.

Chapter Text

Just over an hour later, after a shower that had them both thanking any deity they could think of that they were young with a short refractory period, Sirius was dressed and shuffling his feet awkwardly in the doorway. The hotel car Sirius had called sat idling by the kerb while they said goodbye.

'I'll look forward to seeing the article in print,' Sirius said.

Remus smiled. 'Should be just before the start of your tour,' he told him, forcing words out of his dry throat.

'You'll have to send me an autographed copy,' Sirius teased and Remus chuckled.

They both inhaled simultaneously then laughed softly at their synchronism. 'I'd better go,' Sirius said, gesturing towards the car.

Remus nodded. 'Yep,' he agreed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 'I... I promise to buy this new album.'

Sirius grinned, the smile not reaching his eyes then he cursed and grasped the waistband of Remus' jeans, pulling him in close for a final kiss. Remus melted into the lip lock which started off hungry with a flavour of desperation, then slowed until it was soft and sweet and Remus was having trouble breathing through the tightness in his chest.

When they parted, Sirius' tongue dragged over his bottom lip as if searching out one last taste of Remus, then he gave Remus a forced-looking smile before he turned and clattered down the stairs. Remus let out a shaky breath and closed the door, leaning his forehead against it for a minute as he listened to the slamming car door and the slight squeal of tires as it pulled away.

That's that then.

Except it wasn't.

Six hours later, Remus picked up the evening news from his door mat and unfurled it to find a picture of he and Sirius kissing splashed across the front page in all its black and white glory.

'Remus! Is it true that you and Sirius have been dating for several weeks?'

'Remus! Over here! What do you have to say to the claims that you turned Sirius Black and stole him from Selena Marks?'

'Why didn't Sirius ever come out? Why were you seeing each other in secret?'

'Is he ashamed of your relationship, Remus? Are you just a fling?'

'I can't go out there, Alice,' Sirius groaned, pulling a cushion over his face and wondering if it was possible to asphyxiate himself.

'You don't have a choice,' she said bluntly, one hand holding a mobile phone to her ear, the other pressing keys on her organiser. 'You were foolish and indiscreet, Sirius. Now it's time to reap the whirlwind.'

Sirius threw the cushion off his head to stare askance at the blonde as James queried, 'Reap the whirlwind?'

'She's been watching 'Young Guns' on the movie channel,' Peter said with a fond smile at Alice.

'I can't believe Remus did this,' Lily said, throwing the morning paper down. A frown marred her pretty features as she looked over at Sirius. 'I thought he was a nice guy.'

Sirius' face hardened then morphed into blankness. 'So did I,' he said bluntly, lurching off the couch and walking across the room to stare moodily out the window. 'Guess we were both wrong.'

'What I want to know is what was in it for him?' Alice asked, snapping her phone shut. 'He's not made any large deposits into his bank account that would indicate he was paid for that story, and he's not out there trying to sell every single detail to the highest bidder.'

'You checked his bank accounts?' James asked in disbelief.

Alice shrugged. 'I know people,' she answered mysteriously, and Peter grinned at her.

'You frighten me sometimes,' he said, looking anything but scared.

'He's not telling his story now because he's going to put it all in the article then sell it to the highest bidder,' Sirius said loudly, still facing the window.

Alice shook her head. 'No, he's not stupid,' she mused, tapping her finger against her mouth. 'He knows that this is a breach of his contract with us. He has to know he'd lose all rights to the material he gathered for the article...'

'He's still got plenty of information about what Sirius Black likes in bed though,' Sirius said with a scowl, remembering some of the details of the leaked story; details about things that happened on the roof top, things that only he and Remus could know. 'That's one hell of an article just there - "I had my tongue up Sirius Black's arse".'

'God, that is way too much information,' James groaned while Peter winced and Lily's face turned red.

'I can't believe I fell for him,' Sirius said despairingly, trying to forget that glorious kiss that had been captured on film, trying to tell himself that the Remus he thought he was kissing hadn't really existed.

There was a moment of quiet then Lily said tentatively, 'You mean, you can't believe you fell for his story, don't you?'

Sirius spun on his heel and glared furiously at her. 'That's what I said,' he snapped, resolutely ignoring the fact he was flushing deeply over his slip of the tongue. 'Look, let's just do this, alright. We can't call this press conference off.'

'As if anyone remembers we're actually releasing an album tomorrow,' James muttered and was immediately shushed by Lily.

Sirius clenched his fists and looked from one of his band mates to the other. 'Look, I'm sorry about this,' he said through gritted teeth. 'I didn't mean for it to happen and I've told you that I'm going to deal with it. I'm sorry about the timing... ' He snorted as he tugged his leather jacket on. 'You can talk to Remus about that one.'

Alice stood up just as her phone beeped. She opened her mailbox while the others pulled on their jackets then looked up at Sirius in surprise and trepidation.

'It's for you.'

Sirius frowned in confusion and took the phone she held out, glancing down at the screen.

'Sirius. It wasn't me, I swear. Pls call me.'

Sirius looked up at Alice who was studiously ignoring him as she ushered her other curious charges towards the door. He stared down at the message for a full minute before typing out a quick response:

'I was wrong. You are the bigger whore. See you in court.'

Remus cringed when he saw Sirius' return message and threw his phone at his bedroom wall in frustration. He edged his curtain aside, swearing when he saw that the crowd of photographers and journalists outside his front stoop was just as dense as it had been this morning when he tried to leave to go and see Sirius. He let the shade drop back into place and sank down onto the floor, back to the wall and legs drawn up to his chest.

'Well, this is ironic,' he muttered to himself. 'Bitten on the arse by my own pack. Sirius would love it.'

He stretched his arm and scooped up his phone, miraculously still intact. He searched for new messages, but there were none. The phone trilled in his hand and he fumbled, nearly dropping it. A quick look at the number made his hackles rise, and his temper snapped.

'Not you too,' he snarled into the phone after he answered. 'You're supposed to be my friend...'

'I am your friend, you fool,' the man on the other end retorted. 'Open your fucking door.'

The line disconnected with a click and Remus scrambled to his feet, peering out the window again and this time, saw a familiar shock of messy grey hair. He ran to the front door and opened it a crack. The wall of noise hit him like wrecking ball and he took a step back as the door was flung open and an older, gnarled man forced his way inside.

'Fuck off, you gutter feeders!' he snapped at the mob behind him then he slammed the door shut. He turned to glare at Remus then slapped him around the back of the head.

'Ow!' Remus cried, holding his head and ducking in case another blow was forthcoming.

'What was the first thing I told you about journalism?' Alastor Moody asked, pointing his cane at Remus.

'Don't let anything get in the way of a story,' Remus parroted and Alastor nodded.

'Don't let anything get in the way of a story,' he repeated, shaking his head as he limped past Remus and fell gracelessly onto the couch. 'And what do you do? You have a brilliant opportunity for a scoop and you let your cock do the thinking for you.'

'It wasn't like that,' Remus mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. 'I didn't have anything to do with this...'

'Of course you didn't,' Alastor said scathingly. 'I might have a bum leg but I can still see the obvious when it's shoved under my nose. You're bloody in love with that lout.'

'What lout?'

Alastor shook his cane threateningly at Remus. 'That Black lout,' he snapped. 'Any idiot could look at that photo and see that you are completely arse over tit for him. Why would you jeopardize that, or your exclusive, for some tacky publicity in a shitty rag?'

'Sirius thinks I sold him out,' Remus said miserably, slumping back into his chair. He deliberately ignored Alaster's theory that he was in love with Sirius. It was a little too close to what Remus himself had been thinking. 'He won't talk to me.'

'Of course he won't,' Alastor scoffed. 'He's a bloody celebrity; they're all prima donnas. Listen, I've been making some phone calls – calling in some favours – and I know who took that photograph.'

Remus sat up ramrod straight. 'Who?' he hissed and Alastor winced.

'You're not going to like it,' he warned.

'Alastor...'

'Snape.'

'Fuck!' Remus shot to his feet and clenched his fists. 'That fucking prick!'

'I see you remember him,' Alastor said dryly. 'Yes, Snape. Unfortunately for you and Black, Snape has quite a number of unsavory snouts scattered throughout the top hotels. That's how he gets so many scoops.'

'That must be how he knew so much about that night on the rooftop... Oh, I'm going to wring his fucking neck!' Remus seethed, stalking back and forth in front of Alastor.

He stopped suddenly and snatched up his phone. 'I'm going to call Sirius and tell him that I can prove...'

'Ah, you can't though,' Alastor interrupted loudly. 'You can't prove it wasn't you. Snape could say you two were in cahoots, and you'd planned the whole thing.'

Remus groaned and dropped his phone back on the coffee table. 'What do I do then?' he asked, raking his hands through his hair distractedly. 'How do I prove I had nothing to do with this?'

Alastor looked at Remus, eyebrow raised in appraisal. 'Why?' he asked bluntly. 'Why is it so important to you? Because you'll lose the exclusive if you can't prove your innocence, or because you want another go at Sirius Black's backside?'

Remus swallowed down his instinctive brush off and shrugged. 'I don't know,' he admitted softly. 'Does it matter?'

'Not to me,' Alastor said, raising an eyebrow pointedly then he smiled smugly. 'Lucky for you, I despise Severus Snape, and also lucky for you, he is scared shitless of me.'

He smirked triumphantly at Remus as he heaved himself to his feet. 'And I happen to know exactly where to find the little bastard.'

Remus frowned, puzzled, as Alastor stomped back down the hall and flung open the front door. He shoved his way through the crowd, disappearing for several seconds in the sea of bodies, then he reappeared, dragging behind him a thin man with greasy dark hair.

Remus shot to his feet as Alastor gave the other man a shove, sending him sprawling onto the hall floor, then shut the door.

'Moody, you lunatic,' Severus Snape snarled as he stood up and brushed off his black coat. 'I've a good mind to have you arrested for assault.'

'You want to see assault,' snapped Remus, storming towards the hook-nosed man,'I'll fucking give you assault.'

'Stop!' Moody ordered, flinging out his cane and stopping Remus in his tracks. He gave Remus a warning look then turned to Snape. 'All I want from you is the name of the person who gave you this story. It's not a lot to ask.'

Snape's lip curled in a sneer, but Remus could see the fear in his eyes as Moody advanced on him. 'I don't have to reveal my sources,' he said then he flinched as Moody's hand fisted.

Moody chuckled, the sound more menacing than amused. 'You will tell me,' he said quietly. 'Or next time I'm talking with your editor, my tongue might just slip about a certain employee's carnal interest in his wife. How is the lovely Narcissa these days?'

Remus' mouth fell open in shock. He knew Narcissa Malfoy. She was hot, and her husband, Lucius, was notoriously protective. A grin spread across his face. Lucius would gut Snape if he was shagging his wife.

'You can't prove anything,' Snape whispered, his already pale skin now tinged green.

'That never stops you,' Moody retorted, looking expectantly at the other man.

Snape licked his lips nervously, looking from Alastor to Remus. He closed his eyes and with a sigh of defeat mumbled, 'Barty Crouch. He works in Security at the hotel Black's staying at. He has a hidden camera on the roof...'

Remus saw red and launched himself at the other man, Alastor not bothering to stop him this time. He grabbed the front of Snape's coat and slammed him hard into the wall.

'Is there footage of me and Sirius from that night?' he hissed furiously in Snape's face. The twitch at the corner of those dark brown eyes told Remus all he needed to know. 'You cunt!'

His fist was already clenched, his arm drawing back, when Alastor seized it and held on tight. 'Don't give him the satisfaction, Remus,' he said firmly.

Remus, with deep regret, let go of Snape and dropped his arm. 'Do you have that footage?' he asked, clenching and unclenching his fists compulsively.

'He wouldn't give it to me,' Snape told him, eyeing Remus' fist and Alastor's cane warily. 'He wanted extra money for it, and I couldn't get it all together quickly enough. I was supposed to see him again later today.'

'He's at work today?' When Snape nodded, Remus abruptly turned and headed for the door.

'What are you going to do?' Alastor demanded, frowning disapprovingly. 'Contact Black's manager and she can get the hotel to look into the allegations.'

Remus dragging his hooded jumper over his head as he shook it. 'I'm going to see Sirius,' he said, voice muffled inside the hoodie. 'I need to talk to him face to face.'

Alastor rolled his eyes. 'I hope you know what you're getting into with this bloke, Lupin,' he said. 'He lives in a different world. This...' He pointed to the door – two inches of wood standing between them and the pack of photographers and reporters outside, '... is only the beginning if you get mixed up with him. You're a journalist, Remus. You know they'll stop at nothing for the story.'

Remus shoved his wallet in his pocket. 'I don't know what Sirius wants from me,' he said, pulling the hood up over his head. 'But I need to know he believes me. I don't want to end things like this with him.'

He glanced at Snape and shook his head in disgust. 'Can you get this git out of my flat?' he asked Alastor and the older man nodded resignedly.

'Go on,' he said, waving Remus off. 'I'll lock up here, but I want details before I see it in the paper.' He smirked. 'He does have a very fine arse.'

Remus grinned at him then pocketed his house keys and braced himself before he stepped out into the maelstrom.

Remus paid the cab driver and winced when he saw the crowd of journalists outside the hotel entrance. He slipped down a side alley and knocked on a dented door. It swung open fast, almost hitting him in the face, and his first and only girlfriend, Mary McDougall, stared out at him.

'Remus,' she hissed, glancing over her shoulder into the busy kitchen. 'I'll be sacked if they find out I've been letting you in.'

'I won't tell anyone,' Remus said with a nervous look at the mouth of the alley. 'Come on, Mares. Just one last time?'

Mary sighed and then beckoned him inside. She hurried him through the kitchen then held him back before he went through to the dining room.

'Remus,' she said uncomfortably. 'I can't do this again for you. Black's manager is raising hell over some of the details in that article. She makes it sound like there's a spy on staff or something...'

'There is,' he said abruptly. 'I've got to go, Mary.' He kissed her on the cheek. 'Thank you.'

She smiled and checked that the coast was clear before shooing him through the swinging doors.

Remus kept his hood up and hoped he didn't run into anyone who could stop him before he reached the elevator. Once he was in there, he knew the pass code that would get him right up to the door of the suite and...

'Remus?'

He froze at the sound of the familiar voice and closed his eyes in frustration. 'Hi, Alice,' he said, turning around to face her. 'I have a very good reason for being here.'

She cocked an eyebrow in inquiry. 'Really?' she said, stepping closer. 'Well, how about I call security and you can tell all of us your very good reason?'

'Go ahead,' he said, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly. 'Ask for Barty Crouch and I can put some questions to him about how much illegal footage of Sirius Black getting a hand job goes for.'

She stared at him, taken aback. 'What are you talking about?' she muttered, taking his arm in her talon-like grip and dragging him out of earshot of the reception desk. 'Right. You have exactly one minute to tell me exactly what you think is going on.'

Remus did, then after his hasty explanation, he sat down to wait while Alice stalked off in a terrifying rage to speak to the manager, thanking every deity he knew that he wasn't in Barty Crouch's shoes.

'Hey.'

Remus' foot stopped its nervous jiggling and he looked up to see Sirius smiling uncertainly down at him.

'Hi,' he replied, half-standing before Sirius waved him back into his seat then sat down beside him in the tiny half-hidden alcove Remus had found in the lobby.

'Alice told me that you were the one who found out who sold that story,' Sirius said. 'They're talking to the security bloke now, but they found his cameras and the stash of footage in his locker.'

He grimaced in disgust then glanced over at Remus. 'I wanted to say thank you for figuring this out and to... apologise for the way I treated you.' He fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 'I should have known you wouldn't do that to me.'

'I can't really blame you for thinking that I...'

'I shouldn't have,' Sirius interrupted, shaking his head. 'I should have known. I read that article you wrote. You were respectful and did everything I asked you to do with it.'

'I'm a journalist. The suspicion is always going to be there, isn't it?'

Sirius looked at Remus, hearing what Remus wasn't asking. 'Maybe it is,' he murmured, looking downcast. He twisted the toe of his boot into the lush carpet for a moment then said, 'I came out. In the press conference just now. I officially confessed that I enjoy a cock in my arse.'

Remus smiled. 'And how do you feel?' he asked softly.

'You know,' Sirius said thoughtfully. 'I'm okay. I was dreading it, and the press were just their usual horrific, demonic selves... no offense...'

'None taken.'

'But on the whole, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.' He put a hand on Remus' knee and squeezed lightly. 'And I think I owe that to you. Talking to you...' He sighed. 'I realised that you were right. I didn't think I deserved all this. Like I'd gotten it at Regulus' expense or something.'

'You didn't,' Remus said firmly, putting his hand over Sirius', and Sirius smiled.

'I know,' he agreed. 'Really, Remus. I know. And thank you for showing me that the world didn't end because I let someone in.'

Remus gave him a nod and stared down at their hands. The temptation to feel more of that satin-soft skin became too great and he stroked the pad of his thumb over the back of Sirius' wrist, feeling the other man shiver as he did. He looked up. Sirius was watching the motion of Remus' thumb with an expression of longing that, had he looked in the mirror, Remus was fairly sure would be etched across his face as well.

'I thought... I hoped that we could...' Sirius bit his lip and looked away as he pulled his hand out from under Remus'. 'It just wouldn't work between us, would it?'

There was an edge of hopefulness in Sirius' voice that Remus wanted to grab with both hands and hold close to his heart, but practicality and reality were screaming in his ear that this could only end in tears.

'The rock star and the pap living happily ever after?' Remus mumbled, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jumper. 'That sounds like the cliched plot of a romance novel or something, doesn't it?'

Sirius smiled unconvincingly. 'We should just... go our separate ways,' he said and Remus nodded miserably, trying to summon up the courage to leave, or to tell Sirius how he felt. Anything other than just standing here feeling as though someone had ripped him open.

Happily, or unhappily – Remus wasn't sure - James Potter took the decision right out of his hands.

'Hey, Remus,' he said, giving him a smile and nod before he looked at Sirius. 'Sorry, but we have to get going. We've got some interviews to do in the suite, and our flight for Paris leaves pretty soon.'

'Yeah, okay,' Sirius muttered. They both watched James walk away then Sirius stood up with a sigh. 'I'd better go.'

Remus pushed himself to his feet, his limbs suddenly feeling heavy and cumbersome. 'Maybe I'll catch you in concert,' Remus said, swallowing when the words hurt coming out of his tight throat. 'You're back in London in a month, yeah?'

Sirius nodded. 'I could send you tickets,' he said faintly then he swore. 'This is shit. Look, I've got to go before I do something really stupid and girly like start bawling. I'll see you, Remus.'

He leaned in and planted a quick kiss on Remus' cheek then spun around fast and walked quickly away.

'See you, Sirius,' Remus murmured, feeling a bit like bursting into tears himself as he pulled up his hood once more and braved the front entrance of the hotel.

'Sirius? Is it true you're dating Bill Weasley?

'Sirius! Sirius! Come on, mate! One photo, yeah?'

'Sirius, are you happy to be back in London?

'Mr Black! How do you feel knowing you're only the second sexiest man on the planet?'

Sirius stopped, his heart stuttering when he heard the familiar voice rising above the angry buzz of shouting and yelling from the swarm of paparazzi outside the hotel. He looked over his shoulder and saw Remus standing nearby, getting buffeted by jostling bodies from all directions. He wasn't holding a camera; instead, he was holding up the latest issue of that bloody magazine that rated celebrities in order of sexiness every year and raising an amused eyebrow.

Sirius grinned. 'I think Pitt's got that thing rigged,' he said, then laughed as the other reporters scrambled to quote him. He nodded his head towards the hotel. 'Coming in?'

Remus shook his head. 'I can't,' he said with a rueful smile. 'I'm supposed to catch a plane tomorrow and I haven't packed yet. I just... wanted to say hi and thank you for the tickets.'

Sirius came closer, the camera flashes almost blinding him. 'Where are you going?' he asked, trying not to acknowledge how disappointed he was that, after nothing but a few platonic text messages, this was the most he was going to see of Remus. He had been hoping that they could talk about some of the things that had been constantly whirling around Sirius' mind from the moment he walked away from Remus a month earlier.

'Spain,' Remus told him. 'Going to interview Selena Marks.' He smirked. 'Apparently, we have a lot in common. We can compare notes...'

Sirius laughed, recalling the particularly persistent rumours from a couple of months back. 'You know, I've never even met the woman,' he said with a shake of his head. 'I probably should since I apparently had a torrid affair with her only to cheat on her and break her heart.'

'It does seem like the least you can do,' Remus agreed mock-seriously then he looked around at the frantically scribbling pencils. 'You're giving this lot a hard on by spending so much time out here.'

'Oi!' said a female photographer from behind Remus. 'Don't be sexist. Some of us are wetting our knickers as well.'

There was a ripple of laughter through the reporters and Sirius chuckled as well. 'I'll buy you a new pair,' he said to the woman, reaching for her hand then bringing it to his mouth and kissing it chastely.

He looked back at Remus who was staring at him with a funny little smile playing about his lips. 'You'll be back in time for the concert?' he asked, and Remus nodded.

'Wouldn't miss it for the world,' he said quietly then his eyes shifted to something over Sirius' shoulder. 'Uh oh. I think you're in trouble.'

Sirius twisted around and saw Alice standing in the doorway, tapping her foot impatiently. 'Er, right,' he said hastily, turning back to Remus. 'I'd better be off.' He hesitated then offered up a wide smile. 'I'll see you in a week or so then.'

Remus nodded then gave Sirius a wave as he made his way over to Alice. 'What are you doing?' she asked.

'Just catching up,' he told her, but when he turned back to give Remus a final smile, his heart sank.

He was gone.

Remus couldn't help but sneak another look at the magazine in his hand as he walked down the street towards his flat later that afternoon. It was the same magazine that had won the bidding war for Sirius' interview. They'd run the article last week and recorded record-breaking sales. It was the same magazine that had now contracted Remus to do some freelance work for them, interviewing notoriously publicity-shy celebrities all around the world.

Remus looked down at the cover of the current issue of the magazine. It was an average red carpet shot of a beaming Brad Pitt. Sirius had been on the cover last week; a bloody amazing photo Remus himself had taken of Sirius in front of the window of his suite – barefoot and wearing just jeans and white t-shirt - with the brightly lit London skyline glittering behind him. He looked like he had the world at his feet. Remus loved that photo; loved knowing that he'd been the one to swell those full lips with kisses just minutes earlier, that he'd been the one to put that soft and satisfied smile on his face, that those eyes were smiling and full of life because they were looking at him and remembering...

'They should have given you first place,' Remus murmured, looking down at the small posed photo of Sirius in the corner of the cover page. 'You're hotter than Pitt.'

'Actually, I think Brad Pitt's quite sexy,' said the last person Remus expected to see sitting on his stoop. 'I think I have a thing for men with brown hair. Huh. James told me I have a type, but I thought he was just being an arse.'

Remus stared at Sirius in disbelief. 'You're here,' he said, nonsensically, and Sirius nodded.

'I snuck out,' he admitted. 'You know your stoop smells like dog piss?'

'I'm aware,' Remus said faintly, his head still spinning. Sirius was here? His treacherous heart skittered in his chest and he sternly ordered it to stop. This didn't mean anything. It could be that he just wanted another night of stupendous fucking which – if he was honest – Remus would probably settle for, even though he knew it would break his perpetually, foolishly hopeful heart.

'Sirius, what...?'

'See, the thing is,' Sirius interrupted, resting his forearms on his thighs as he hunched over, staring at the dirty stairs, 'I like you. A lot. A whole lot more than I've liked anyone in a long time and everything in me is screaming at me to not let you go without a fight. Well, except this little voice that sounds a lot like Alice that's telling me I'm insane for even considering...'

'I like you too,' Remus said, interrupting Sirius' ramble. 'But... this wouldn't work. You travel all over and I... '

'Stalk me,' Sirius said, looking up with a genuine smile. 'Or at least you used to. So couldn't you stalk me by day and... fuck me by night?'

Remus' heart sank. 'Couldn't you find a fuck buddy that would be more accessible?' he said sourly.

Sirius lost his smile and stood up, staring down at Remus from the steps. 'If I wanted a fuck buddy, I wouldn't be here,' he said, a hurt expression straining his face. 'You are not easy, Remus Lupin. You are stubborn and persistent and generally a pain in the neck. If I just wanted a nice arse to plough, I have several options available to me without even having to leave the hotel.'

'So what are you asking me?' Remus asked in confusion.

Sirius let out a loud groan of frustration and Remus was astonished when he actually stomped his foot. 'God, Remus,' he said, dragging a hand through his hair. 'You are fucking... I'm asking you to be with me, to be my... I hate the word boyfriend... partner? Lover? I don't fucking know, I just know I missed you like crazy and I don't want to go a month without seeing you ever again.'

Remus knew his mouth was hanging open but couldn't find the motivation to shut it. His ongoing fantasy of the last month was becoming reality, but he found himself unable to completely believe it was really happening. He shoved a trembling hand into his pocket, the other crushing the magazine at his side. It was hard to catch his breath and he cleared his throat twice before he trusted himself to speak.

'I have to travel for work,' he said, voice still embarrassingly shaky as he made a last ditch effort to protect his heart by playing devil's advocate. 'Our schedules would conflict... we might not see each other much. I can't turn down jobs.'

'I'll let you take interesting photos of me so you don't have to take on so many other jobs. And I can give you plenty of gossip about the others to keep you going,' Sirius offered, stepping down to street level so he and Remus were standing eye to eye. 'For instance, Lily and James are secretly engaged...'

'That's the worst kept secret in the Western world,' Remus retorted with a grin. He allowed Sirius to take his hand, the magazine dropping to the pavement. Sirius gently pulled him closer, Remus shivering when he felt Sirius' warm breath wash over his skin.

'I've got more,' Sirius promised, his face losing all traces of humour. He swallowed hard enough for it to be audible then he breathed in deeply. 'Can we...? Would you want to give this a try? Give us a try?'

Remus nodded, unable to hold back his burgeoning smile. 'I like the sound of 'partner',' he said softly.

Sirius beamed then whooped before hauling Remus in for a fierce kiss. When he released him, Remus let out a snort of laughter.

'You daft sod. Did you really think I'd say no to the second sexiest man on Earth?'

'You had me bloody worried for a minute there,' Sirius confessed, grinning madly. He claimed Remus' lips again in a slower kiss that deepened fast. They wound their arms tightly around each other, giving in to need that had been denied for four long weeks until a passing car rode their horn as they passed and startled them apart.

'Could we possibly go inside?' Sirius asked, stealing soft kisses after each word. Remus moaned as talented hands crept under his jacket and shirt and found warm skin that had been craving Sirius' touch. 'I'd hate to traumatize Alice any further this month by getting arrested for lewd behaviour.'

'This isn't lewd behaviour,' Remus murmured, his own hands on Sirius' biceps, guiding him backwards up the stairs so he didn't have to ever let go.

Sirius smirked against Remus' lips. 'What I plan to do to you next will be,' he promised in a growl that made Remus' cock as hard as stone.

Remus' hand slid down to Sirius' arse, curling around the curve of his buttocks and fitting their hips together like puzzle pieces. 'I'll hold you to that.'

With a ridiculous amount of fumbling with his key, Remus finally got them inside and Sirius immediately took the opportunity to shove him against the door and rid him of his coat.

'How long have you got?' he said with a mischievous smile and Remus chuckled at the echo of his own words.

'Barring emergencies,' he said, repeating Sirius' response. 'All night.'

Sirius beamed and, without any preamble, pulled his shirt over his head. 'Brilliant,' he breathed then pulled Remus into a long, hot kiss.

'Sirius! Over here! That's it!

'Sirius, look over here! Remus! Remus!'

'Come on, boys! Look my way, yeah?'

'Can we get a bit of a snog, boys? Ah, come on! You know you want to!'

Sirius felt Remus' fingers tighten around his and glanced away from the wall of photographers to smile at his slightly paler than usual partner. 'Alright?' he asked.

Remus nodded, trying for a reassuring smile but failing entirely. 'Still not all that keen on being on this side of things,' he muttered, wiping his sweaty palm on the side of his new black jeans.

Sirius laughed and untangled their fingers, sliding his arm around Remus' waist protectively. 'I'll protect you from the big bad paparazzi,' he said teasingly.

Remus bumped him with his shoulder in mock-annoyance, but was secretly extraordinarily grateful for the large warm hand on the small of his back. It was one thing to run the press gauntlet when they stayed at hotels, but it was another to have to actually stop and pose for them on the red carpet.

'I'm sorry I guilted you into coming,' Sirius whispered, leaning close so Remus could hear him. 'I know you were nervous about this.'

Remus angled his head so he could look into Sirius' eyes. 'You've been nominated for Album of the Year,' he said softly, resting his own hand between Sirius' shoulder blades. 'Did you really think I would miss this?'

Sirius' face broke out into a smile that made Remus' world tilt a little. He dipped his head and dropped a quick kiss on Remus' lips and the women (and some of the men) on the fan side of the barricade scream loudly in approval. Sirius chuckled and, sliding his hands around Remus' waist, turned his head towards the squealing hordes.

'Should I give him a proper kiss?' he called and the deafening shout of affirmation made Remus wince.

'Gotta give them what they want,' Sirius shrugged mischievously as he turned back to Remus.

Before he could offer up an objection or any words of caution, Sirius had pulled him close and planted his lips squarely on Remus'. The roar of approval hit them like a punch and Sirius smiled against Remus' lips.

'They love us,' Sirius said, teeth scraping over Remus' lip as he spoke.

'They love you,' Remus mumbled, trying to block out the stuttering flashes of light as the photographers frantically rushed to capture the public display of affection. Remus thought that, over the last year, the press had caught he and Sirius in enough clinches to satisfy most fans' voyeuristic tendencies, but it seemed the public had an unquenchable appetite when it came to Sirius. 'They tolerate me.'

'Well, I love you,' Sirius said lightly then he pulled back, cheeks flushed, and beamed at Remus. 'The more I say that, the better it sounds.'

Remus laughed quietly and gently extracted himself from the other man's embrace. 'I know,' he agreed, twining their fingers together as one strident voice rose above the cacophony.

'Sirius! Remus! Are the rumours about an upcoming Civil Partnership true?'

Remus stifled a smile and tried not to think about the ring sitting on his dresser at home, the matching gold band on a necklace hidden underneath Sirius' shirt for luck.

'Nope,' Sirius said with a hint of a smile playing about his lips. 'No plans for any nuptials in the foreseeable future.'

He squeezed Remus' hand, and Remus tightened his grip as well. Alice had managed to arrange their CP a week earlier without any leaks to the press and they planned on keeping it that way for as long as possible – or at least until after their belated honeymoon in a fortnight's time. After that, Remus had permission to announce it with his own article on the pros and cons of being married to an international rock star.

Sirius winked at Remus as they turned away from the press and entered the venue for the award ceremony. In the last year, they'd managed to strike a balance between which parts of their lives they shared with the public and which they held tightly to their chests. As Sirius raised their linked hands to his mouth and brushed a soft, comforting kiss across his bare ring finger, Remus smiled. This was one secret that was definitely worth keeping.