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the glitter of a spark

Summary:

Four times A.C.E made Kim Byeongkwan feel adored (+ one time Kim Byeongkwan felt unconditional love from them...and within himself)

Notes:

some of the people who inspired these connected piece (among many more people) include: laura, zahra, hajar, brooke, & the entire dongdongs groupchat ♡

Chapter 1: [byeongchan] where did big kitty & big puppy run off to?

Summary:

“Just me? Or should we ask Sehni to stay over tonight when they get back?”

“Just you,” he tells Byeongkwan after five more seconds of thoughtful silence. “It hasn’t been 'just us' in awhile.”

Chapter Text

 

Sneaking away for an hour or two of quiet is so...easy.

When they were younger, still trainees?  

The excuses were never the tough part; the slipping away and not being found for a while was.

Now they’re older, quicker, smarter.

They’ve disappeared to the far-off corners of town, to the nearby shopping spots they know won’t ask questions if they’re recognized.

But this weekend...

“...You wanna be the little spoon tonight?”  Byeongkwan, fresh from a shower, sees Yuchan curled up.  In his bed, mind you.

Not that Byeongkwan minds.

Yuchan knows that Byeongkwan's known him too long to ever refuse him.  

“Yep.  Jun-hyungie and Seh-hyungie’re still not back from shopping ’n Hunnie-hyung knocked out already.  He hasn’t been sleeping all that great, so...” 

Back facing him, scrolling through his phone, Yuchan hasn’t looked at him yet.  

He can’t see Byeongkwan’s fond smile as he steps into his sweatpants.

Or how - a brief glance at the clean t-shirt in his hands later - Byeongkwan skulks over to toss the shirt right at the back of his head.

“The h--!?”

Yuchan probably wasn’t expecting any part of what happened next.

From the way Byeongkwan leapt onto the mattress, sending Yuchan’s phone flying out of his hand and startling him--

Or the way Byeongkwan crawls over the screeching younger man, caging him with his arms--

Or the way Byeongkwan leaves damp kisses all over Yuchan’s face: forehead, and then down the slope of his nose, and then small dry pecks at his cheekbones, eyelids, and--

“You’re sleeping with me tonight, then.” Pausing, for a moment’s reprieve, to pull back.  He’s not...staking a claim, not exactly.  “Just me?  Or should we ask Sehni to stay over tonight when they get back?”

Byeongkwan gives him the option and offers him the (illusion of) choice.

He can already guess what his answer will be. 

Yuchan does consider it, though, from the way his brows lift and lower.

“Just you,” he tells Byeongkwan after five more seconds of thoughtful silence.  “It hasn’t been just us in awhile.”

I missed this, Byeongkwan hears in unvoiced sentiment when he gives Yuchan a quick peck to his parted mouth.

I missed this, too, he agrees wordlessly, leaving more kisses in uneven rows down the line of Yuchan’s throat.

First, gentle, grazing.

Then, with the slightest, barely-there press of teeth.

(And, when he feels Yuchan shudder, stops.)

“Guess Sehni-hyung’s sleeping in your room tonight,” Byeongkwan remarks - this time, it’s a statement.  “I found you first, so… finders keepers!”

 


 

(Later, when Yuchan finds himself safely tucked under a thin coverlet and the settling warmth of Byeongkwan’s arms, they both can hardly keep their eyes open for the pillow talk they usually have.

Instead, they end up drifting off to sleep.

Together.)

 

Chapter 2: [junkwan] when big kitty sleeps beside a puppy-cat...

Summary:

“We should be sleeping,” Junhee huffs. “Aren’t you done being a brat for the day?”

“Maybe,” Byeongkwan’s low voice filters off into a pleased sigh when Junhee takes hold of his nape and squeezes, “if you can convince me it’s better to be Good.”

Chapter Text

 

“...Are you okay?”

Junhee and Byeongkwan bicker plenty enough when they’re fully awake.

“...Are any of us truly ‘okay’?”

“Okay?  Forget about being okay-- why are you this existential so late at night?”

“...Early in the morning, you mean.”

“Huh?”

“It’s one AM, hyung.  It’s too early in the morning for existentialism.”

Huh?!”

“...That’s what you meant.  Right?”

They’re no less lively even when it’s just the two of them. 

“...Unbelievable.”

Exhausted from today’s performance and defenses down, with a single large comforter shared between them, Junhee and Byeongkwan are--

“By the way.  I’m doing okay now.  Earlier...”

“Hmm?”

Shifting fabric in the dark, two forms huddle together.

“Sorry...about earlier, during dry rehearsal...”

Ah. 

That?

“If it makes you feel better, I forgot until you mentioned it.”

“I mean.  I wanted to let it be and not say anything, but.  Sehni was-- well.  He told me you were running on caffeine and a couple hours’ sleep an hour after, so…”

“We’re good, Kwannie.  It’s okay.”

“...Is it really okay?”

“Are any of us,” Junhee borrows his words from earlier, “truly okay?”

Byeongkwan snorts.

“At one o’three A-friggen’-M?”  Byeongkwan retorts, nuzzling closer.  “Highly unlikely.”

It’s Junhee who closes the last of the distance between them.

Bodies flush, and then they’re cheek-to-cheek.

It’s Junhee, too, who winds arms around waist and brushes noses with Byeongkwan.

It’s a miss.

Byeongkwan doesn’t mind, though.

“We should be sleeping,” Junhee huffs.  “Aren’t you done being a brat for the day?”

When their foreheads collide, that’s on purpose.

It’s so Byeongkwan can lean in for a proper kiss. 

“Maybe,” Byeongkwan’s low voice filters off into a pleased sigh when Junhee takes hold of his nape and squeezes, “if you can convince me it’s better to be Good.”

 


 

Junhee does end up convincing him.

Byeongkwan is the first one to knock out cold.

By the time they’re ready to settle down for the night, Junhee is equally exhausted and tucks them both in before falling asleep, too.

 

Chapter 3: [wowkwan] big kitty + bigger puppy equals...

Summary:

“You saw me this morning,” quips Sehyoon. A bit wry, a lot fond.

“And now that I’m seeing you again,” Byeongkwan sparkles, “I’m getting my Sehni Recharge.”

Chapter Text

 

One interesting thing about Sehyoon is that he never asks for physical contact from the others.

Well…almost never.

Byeongkwan has known the older man long enough to know him.  

He knows Sehyoon - knows things about him that Sehyoon has never noticed about himself, knows things about him Sehyoon’s just started to notice now.

(Sehyoon fidgets when he’s impatient or anxious.

Sehyoon enjoys reading more now than he ever did as a kid.  

Sehyoon goes through different phases each week - or month - with a new accessory or color that coordinates with his entire outfit.)

He knows Sehyoon - the person he used to be, the person he wanted to be, and the person he’s grown into.

(Sehyoon used to think masculinity meant strength in stoicism and sturdiness.

Once Sehyoon learns gentleness is not weakness, he starts wearing his heart on his sleeve more often.

Once Sehyoon realizes he's free to self-express the way he wants to, his confidence - like a flower - bloomed.)

He knows Sehyoon - and the longer Byeongkwan knows him, the more interesting he becomes.

(Sehyoon fights sleep some nights so he can stay up to paint and de-stress.

When Sehyoon paints, his playlists vary depending on his mood.

When he’s fully concentrated on something, Sehyoon almost never loses focus.)

The person he is now--

The Kim Sehyoon that Byeongkwan knows is--

“Can I...help you?”

Byeongkwan, faceplanted into Sehyoon’s chest, mumbles something.

It comes out muffled, so Sehyoon asks him again.

“I’m,” Byeongkwan lifts his head with a huff, “recharging.”  

Sehyoon blinks.    

“Recharging.  Okay.  Had a long day filming, or…?”

“Always.”  Byeongkwan doesn’t quite pout, but his lower lip juts out for added effect.  The effect is - with his next words - that Sehyoon’s gaze softens.  “And I missed you.  Always do.”

That’s another interesting thing about Sehyoon.

They could see each other every day while Sehyoon’s staying at the apartment with them.

Someone like Kim Sehyoon - warm in natural temperature, warm heart, warm hands to hold and to be held by - is easy to miss.

“You saw me this morning,” quips Sehyoon.  A bit wry, a lot fond.

“And now that I’m seeing you again,” Byeongkwan sparkles, “I’m getting my Sehni Recharge.”

Someone like Sehyoon melts in the face of sentimentality.

“What if your human battery Wow-bot needs recharging?”  Sehyoon’s voice is even, but his smile widens by the second.  “Maybe...I need a Kwannie Recharge first.”

Sehyoon isn’t the only one weak to the power of pathos.

“Lucky you, then--” Byeongkwan sits up a little taller, grinning.  “--because, guess what?  Your Hero Kwannie is here to save the day!”

“My Hero,” Sehyoon laughs, silencing Byeongkwan’s petulant hrrmmph with a swift kiss.  

 


 

Byeongkwan knows Sehyoon always means it when he says thank you and I love you.  

Sometimes, the words mean more when they aren’t spoken at all.

(Sometimes, the words and the actions go together even better - just like them.)

 

Chapter 4: [dongkwan] big kitty + oldest kitty are closer than they appear

Summary:

“You’re a cute fluffed-up cat.”

“Just cute…huh...?”

"A very, very cute fluffed-up cat." Donghun corrects himself, amicable.  Byeongkwan - with a deep vibrating noise in his throat that sounds like a purr - leans into his touch.

Chapter Text

 

“I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.”

‘Moody’ isn’t the right description for it.

‘Sulky’ is...close, but not quite right, either.

“And?”

“And...yeah.”

Donghun...doesn’t bother looking up from his phone.

He does, however, look to make sure his arm is up far enough on the sofa to let Byeongkwan and plop himself unceremoniously in the space beside him.

“Hyunggggggggggg.  Why are we still on queue?  I thought they'd be done disinfecting the sets by now.  We're the last ones to film and I wanna go home because  I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.” 

“Oooooooooooookay.  You know, you’re preaching to the choir here...”

“…The what now?”

“The choir.  The chorus.”  Donghun reaches down, hand coming to rest on the crown of wildly-styled hair.  “AKA you and me.  We're all tired and suffering in harmony.”

Byeongkwan fixes him with a quizzical stare.

The brief touch leaves as soon as it comes.  

The taut silence between them feels--

“Did you...mean to make that rhyme, or--”

“--No?”

“Oh.  Alrighty.”  Byeongkwan flashes a brilliant - if tired - grin.  “So!  While us Suffering Fools keep waiting for our turn to film… and I dunno where everybody else went off to… can I rest on your lap, Oh Mighty Poet Sir?”

A sigh.

“Normally,” Donghun clicks his phone shut, “you know I’d tell you hell no, but.”

“...But today, you’re gonna say yes?!  Because--?”

“Because,” Donghun chuckles, pocketing his phone in the same breath as he declares, “you look like a fluffed-up cat that got spooked by a ghost and is now on life six or seven out of nine.”

Already laying his head down on Donghun’s thighs, Byeongkwan shifts onto his side.

“I...can’t tell if that’s an insult or not?” 

“...It’s not?”  Donghun meets Byeongkwan’s sidelong stare, placing his hand back on Byeongkwan’s frizzy hair.  “You’re a cute fluffed-up cat.”

“Just cute…huh...?” 

Byeongkwan forgets what else he was about to say.

It’s Donghun’s fault, he’ll swear later, for catching him by surprise with head pats.

Hair-petting, really.

"A very, very cute fluffed-up cat."  Donghun corrects himself, amicable.  Byeongkwan - with a deep vibrating noise in his throat that sounds like a purr - leans into his touch.  "If you wanted attention, though, you could've asked.  I don't mind."

A(nother) smart remark is what Donghun expects back.

Donghun anticipated some deflection, maybe.

He's not too surprised - or disappointed - when Byeongkwan drifts off to sleep within a few minutes' time.

 


 

(It's the perfect opportunity, Donghun thinks, to plant a kiss in the space between his brows and let Byeongkwan get some well-deserved rest.) 

 

Chapter 5: [ot5] when two kitties, two puppies, and one puppy-cat cuddle together...

Summary:

(It’s wordless affirmation. More than enough to go on.

It’s more than enough - always enough - to remind Byeongkwan that he’s loved.)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

As expected, it’s a tight squeeze.

They could do this...way easier if this were a night they could take up the entire living room.

If, that is, their bodies could afford sleeping on blankets strewn across the living room floor.

Not that it matters to Yuchan, easygoing as ever, who dozes off slumped against Byeongkwan’s hip.

Not that it bothers Sehyoon, who shrugs at the suggestion and moves right over to cuddle up right behind Byeongkwan.

Not that it ever matters to Junhee, who practically knocks Yuchan off the bed (and shoves Sehyoon) in his rush to join them.

Mild confusion fades off with a few bleary blinks over Byeongkwan’s shoulder - and then Sehyoon grunts before his eyes fall shut again.

“Hunnie...hyung, can you…?”

“Got it.  Relax, Jun-ah.  I got it.”

Click.

Now with only moonlight to guide him, Donghun makes his way from the bathroom doorway to the four men piled into one bed.

Junhee, light peals of laughter floating overhead, murmurs an audible thank you, sidles up nearer to Sehyoon, who sinks further into the narrowing space between him and Byeongkwan’s back.

Not that it matters to Donghun, who (tries to) worm-wiggles his way between Junhee and Sehyoon.

When Junhee protests (loudly, determined to keep the radiating warmth of Sehyoon’s back to himself), Donghun sticks his tongue out at Junhee--

--And goes to the other end of the bed to spoon with Yuchan instead.

“Children, behave.” Byeongkwan singsongs.

“That should be my line,” Donghun snaps back.  Zero malice to his half-whisper, reaching over to ruffle his hair.  “Bossing your elders around and hogging Chan-ah all to yourself…”

“Shhhhh.  You’re both children and some of us old people need sleep.  Practice at seven tomorrow, alarms go off at five-thirty.”

“No usual follow-up alarm at forty-five?”  Sehyoon was...still awake, despite his even breathing. “That’s how you know it’s comeback prep month.”

“Our great Leader Jun’s getting even stricter?” Donghun comments, never one to miss an opportunity.  “Yikes.”

Byeongkwan sees an opportunity, cradles the snoring Yuchan to his chest.

Donghun gives Byeongkwan an ear-tugging just shy of painful, making them both hiss - the older with an apology, the younger with a complaint.

Sehyoon pokes Byeongkwan’s side and makes him squeal.

Junhee adds fuel to the fire by reaching around Sehyoon to tickle Byeongkwan outright.

“...M’not even...gonna ask…” Yuchan mumbles over the punctuated giggles and shrieks, slipping out of Byeongkwan’s arms.  “Just gonna.  Let you guys go at it.  G’night, y’wild animals.  Baby needs beauty sleep...and I’m Baby...good night.”

 


 

Lying in the wake of sudden silence, over an hour and a half later, Byeongkwan gets jolted from sleep by a strange dream.

(How strange it was.)

Leaning heavy on his shoulder, Donghun burrows closer.

Yuchan, perched at the headrest with half of the pillows surrounding him, is fast asleep.

Junhee, now curled up at Donghun’s side, has one leg out of the blanket hanging off the bed.

(What was his dream about again?  

Green, green fields - he remembers that; acres and acres of them, stretching on and on and on…

The ocean at the end of the winding path - he remembers that, too.)

“Kwan-ah.” Sehyoon’s palms rubbing soothing circles at the small of his back.  “Everything okay?”

(It’s a strange thing, to wake up and not remember the end of your dream.)

“...Yeah.  M’good.”  Byeongkwan smiles - because he knows he is now, gathered up in Sehyoon’s arms, with the people he loves the most an arm’s length away.  “Everything’s good here.”

(Maybe it’s okay, though.

Maybe it’s okay not to know where the dream leads.

Maybe it’s enough not to have an end destination in mind.)

“Good.”  Sehyoon kisses his forehead, the bridge of his nose, and pulls him into a loose embrace.  “Now go back to sleep.  Might as well while it’s still dark out and we have time left.”

“...’kay.  Night, Sehni.”

“Goodnight.”

“...’n thanks.  Thanks a lot for everything, hyung.  Love you.”

He doesn’t get a response back.

Sehyoon leans forward and holds him tighter.

 


 

(It’s wordless affirmation.

More than enough to go on.

It’s more than enough - always enough - to remind Byeongkwan that he’s loved.)

 

Notes:

thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed this little collection of 🐱 & 🐶 tales... 🥰