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“I’m not fine as in fine, but fine as in you don’t have to worry about me.” Dr. House
Severus hated the world and everyone in it. There were times that he hated the sun, the grass, the flowers, and the trees. He loathed his students all the years that he had taught them. He despised Dumbledore’s sunny personality and love of all things Gryffindor. Severus felt nothing but scorn for his father; may he rot in his grave and or in hell whichever one of them suited him better. There were so many things in his life that he wished would simply go away and never come back.
But not them. Tonks with her laughter that sounded like music to his ears. Remus, with the way they would silently hold one another in bed, he was unwilling to use such foolish words like “cuddle” even in his thoughts. But most all Teddy, the little boy who looked at him like he was the most amazing person who had ever lived. They were his family, and that’s all that mattered in the end. Family, something that growing up he had wanted more than life itself, but he never told anyone such foolish thoughts. Things like that were for other people, and he would never get to be one of them. He had not counted on surviving the war. He had not considered the fact that someone, or anyone for that matter, could love him.
Until he was and people did.
Until Severus sat between the two lovers, there he was watching a Muggle telly; nestled into Remus’ side with Tonks’ head in his lap; while Teddy laid on the floor, his toys scattered in front of him. He wasn’t fine, as he always used to tell Dumbledore. He was okay and happy. Sometimes he could not help but wonder if this was all a dream, and he would wake up in his bed at Hogwarts, alone. It was utter foolishness to believe such a thing, but when you spent your whole life waiting for the other shoe to drop? It was hard to let go of such things. Hard to let go of such thought patterns. Someone had told him once it took half the time you spent doing the wrong things to relearn how to do the right thing.
If that were the case, Severus would be prepared for Remus and Tonks to leave him for at least another two decades. He watched the three other people far more than he was watching the telly. Remus, who laughed at a joke one of the people in the show made, Severus had to admit the boy getting thrown off the pony was rather funny. Tonks, who was struggling to stay awake, Her long pink waves were fading to her natural brown and then flicking back to the colour she preferred.
Then there was Teddy, who turned to him and whined, “this is boring, can’t we watch something else?”
“You were the one who picked it,” Tonks murmured; clearly, she didn’t like Black Beauty anymore than Severus did. “So we are going to finish it, okay? We can watch another one tomorrow, but after this is over, we all need to go to bed.”
“But mum…” He whined.
“Would you like some cheese with that whine?” She asked, sitting her up and teasing her son.
“Papa! Dad! Mum’s being mean!”
“No, she isn’t,” Severus laughed, fighting the urge to smile and failing at it. “I would make you go to bed now since you don’t like the movie you choose.”
“Fine,” he groaned, laying down on the floor and going back to watching the movie. He started to snore after a few moments. Tonks did the same pressed against Severus’ side. Mother like son as it were.
Severus sighed, “can we shut this off now or would you like to finish this?”
Remus grabbed the remote, shutting the telly off, “Are you okay, Sev?”
“I am doing fine,” he said and kissed his husband’s cheek.
For once in a long time, it was true, this was what life was supposed to be, and Severus Snape wouldn’t trade it for the world.