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Tony found himself standing in the middle of a suburban street. The sky was dark, the soundscape mostly quiet, save for some muffled yelling. It was too generic to determine where he was, but Tony concluded it was most likely America. He turned to face the only house that seemed to have occupants who were still awake at this hour. It made it quite apparent to Tony where the owner of this loop was. He perked up as the stillness of the surroundings was broken.
“Go to Hell!” A woman screamed, light from the house cascading behind her, as she pushed a man outside.
Ironic, isn’t it?
Before the man could even utter a response, the door slammed in his face. The man turned and walked towards the curb, sitting on it. He buried his head between his knees, trying to will his body to stop shaking. Tony was too far away to identify him.
Whatever argument they had seemed to be the main part of this guy’s loop. I’ll wait for it to reset.
Since he hadn’t moved, Tony didn’t feel the usual stomach-churning sensation of being transported to the beginning of the loop. This time, he walked towards the front window, attempting to listen to the conversation.
“You have destroyed this family!” The same woman cried.
“E-Emily, please, it’s over now. I only saw her a couple of times when things were bad between us.” A male voice pleaded. Tony could tell it was familiar.
Cheating husband?
“But you love her, don’t you?” Emily taunted. “You love Renee, don’t you?”
The man stammered. “N-no, y-yes, maybe? I don’t know! But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, or the kids. That I do know.”
“Just get out, Larry.” Her voice was flat.
Renee? Larry? Oh my God, this is…
“Not until we sort this out, we’re not just going to throw away ten years of marriage!”
She scoffed. “‘We’? Now it’s we?” Tony heard scuffling before the door creaked open. “Go to Hell!”
From his position, he got a good look at him. It was Larry Moss, all right. He looked so lost, so confused, so blatantly terrified, as most people did after a few runs of their loop.
“Larry.” Tony called, stopping the man in his tracks before he could go sit on the curb and reset his loop. He turned to face him, squinting, before walking a little nearer.
His eyebrows raised in horror. “Almeida? What the Hell are you doing here?”
Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, look I’m he-“
“Get away from me!” Larry backed away, as though Tony were some wild animal.
“Larry, you’re already dead.” He shouted, bluntly.
Again, Larry stopped in his tracks. “What?”
He sighed. “This is Hell, Larry.”
His mouth twisted sceptically. Yet the widening of his sorrowful eyes also indicated that Larry perhaps believed him. That perhaps being in Hell was the only way to explain what had been happening. “So you’re dead too?”
Tony let out a huff, noticing that Larry was slowly creeping back towards him. “Yeah.”
“So whatever happens here, it doesn’t matter, right? This Groundhog Day bullshit will just keep resetting?” There was a dangerous glint in Larry’s gaze, his voice escalating.
What’s he getting at?
“…Yeah?” He screwed up his face in confusion. But before Tony could figure out why Larry was suddenly being so inquisitive, he lunged at Tony, pushing him to the ground. Tony felt his head smack against the pavement as Larry pinned him with his weight. One hand wrapped around his throat, the other splaying across his face, clawing at him. He struggled against the taller man, trying to swing his arms to push him off. Clearly though, the pent-up rage and betrayal in Larry’s eyes meant he wouldn’t be giving in any time soon. Tony couldn’t blame him he supposed. If Tony had been murdered in such a way and had the opportunity to face his killer in the afterlife, he too would appreciate the sentiment of trying to hurt him in the same method. But if Tony had any chance of getting Larry to break his loop and therefore moving on to break the rest out, then he had to stop this somehow.
“You killed me you son of a bitch, and now I’m going to kill you!” He shouted, gritting his teeth.
Tony’s first attempt to reply was cut off by the increased pressure on his windpipe and instead came out as a choked gasp. “L-Larry, I’m trying to he-“
“Shut up! I risked my ass letting you do what you wanted that day and I was going to vouch for you after, then you repaid me by smothering me?”
—
Lucifer had been checking in on Tony’s progress from time to time. After he got the hang of the first few loops, Lucifer figured he didn’t have to worry too much. There were 305 of them after all. Checking in on the 212th loop, he observed the brawl. Lucifer chuckled of course, he had made it perfectly clear that this wasn’t going to be easy. What he wouldn’t give right now for a box of salty, buttery popcorn to watch it with. The kind he used to sneak Trixie for school after she complained her parents only bought the plain, natural kind.
The little urchin would have loved to watch this. Probably would have refereed it too.
At some point the loop reset, after all, Larry had gone a little off-track. The purpose of his loop was to make him feel guilty, not give him an opportunity to face his killer. He watched Tony rub his throat, gingerly. But almost immediately, the door to the Moss’ home opened, and Larry charged out to the road. Tony put his hands up to defend himself, but with the decent run-up he’d had, Larry managed to send him crashing to the asphalt once more. Choosing to keep with tradition, he let out an angry grunt as he attempted to smother Tony again. Lucifer let this happen a few more times, laughing as Tony tried to prepare himself by punching, kicking, running, but failing each and every time. This was Larry’s loop, so he had the upper hand here. Eventually though, the angel decided that Tony deserved a fair attempt to free each soul, and by the looks of it, Larry wasn’t going to give him the chance.
—
Tony tensed every muscle in his body trying to gather the strength to shove Larry off and try to talk the damn guy down. Suddenly, the weight was lifted. As he coughed, trying to allow oxygen, or, he amended, the afterlife equivalent of oxygen back into his lungs, Lucifer’s amused eyes met his. Lucifer had pulled Larry by the collar of his shirt, much the way one did a cat, and was now flailing in his grip. But before Tony could stand up, Lucifer’s Louboutin planted itself firmly on his chest. He let out a weak exhale.
“Right. Both of you, enough.” Lucifer sounded annoyed more than anything. Like a teacher in a schoolyard, stopping this fight was an inconvenience to him. Another mundane part of his day. Tony wondered how much attention Lucifer had been paying to all of this.
“Let me go, you bastard!” Larry elbowed him in the stomach, to which Lucifer didn’t react.
“L-Larry don’t.” Tony stuttered.
In one quick motion, he turned, slamming Larry against the telephone pole with a shudder. Using one hand to keep him pressed there, he fished a pair of handcuffs from his suit pocket with the other. Tony smirked when he read the engraved ‘LAPD.’ on the shiny metal.
And somewhere back on Earth, a poor LAPD officer is searching for their missing handcuffs. Maybe they’re Chloe’s? Dan’s? No, definitely Dan’s.
Smoothly, he’d cuffed Larry’s wrists around the phone pole. “Mr. Moss, you need to calm down and listen to what Mr. Almeida has to say.”
“Listen to him? He’s the whole reason I’m here!”
Lucifer tutted. “No. He may be the reason you’re dead, but he’s not the reason you’re here. You are. If you want to get out of this ‘Groundhog Day bullshit’ as you called it, then you need to let him help you.” Larry continued to writhe in the confines of the cuffs.
“Who are you?”
“That’s not important.” He hissed, a fiery glow rising in Lucifer’s eyes. “Now. Can I trust you to let me take these off? Because I can assure you, if it’s one thing that angers me most, it’s a liar.” There was a slight growl at the back of Lucifer’s throat.
Trembling a little, he nodded. As the cuffs were released, Larry massaged his wrists tenderly walking over to Tony, who was standing now. Lucifer had already disappeared. The fear in his eyes was still apparent. “W-was that?”
“The Devil? Yeah.” He clicked his tongue. “Tried to warn you.”
Larry ran a hand through his hair, stumbling a little as he sat on the curb once more. “So if this is Hell, why it is just me? Why am I only seeing my family? Does that mean they’re dead too? Oh God, how ca-“
“They’re not real. None of this is.” Tony cut off his blathering, then let out a sigh. “Everyone that’s here has a loop made by their soul. That loop shows you the thing you feel the guiltiest about over and over again until you can forgive yourself for it. Then you can go to Heaven, provided you’re not downright evil.” He muttered under his breath. “Like I am…”
Slowly, he nodded. “So what do you have to do with my loop?”
“I’m not supposed to be here, really.” Tony looked down at the gravel. “I’ve got an arrangement with Lucifer.” Larry looked at him, bewildered at the concept. “Believe it or not, he was actually on Earth for a while.” Tony clarified. “Used to work as a consultant at LAPD, CTU brought him in to interrogate a few suspects, that was how I got to know him a little.”
“Interrogate? What, you mean there was someone Bauer couldn’t get to?”
A laugh escaped Tony’s mouth. “Something like that, yeah. Sometimes we needed Jack’s results without Jack’s consequences, and Lucifer managed to do just that.”
“So you what, used your working relationship to make a deal with the Devil?”
Couldn’t resist that one, could you Larry?
Tony snorted, before speaking wistfully. “Yeah. If I help all the people I killed get out of their loops and go to Heaven, then I can too.”
He made a concentrated face, as though he were analysing the reasonableness of the deal. His moral compass would incline him to deem the deal unfair, as a pitiful ‘free pass’ after doing so many terrible things. But considering Larry was one of the people killed, for his own personal sanity, he wouldn’t dare object to it either. “Okay, so, how much did you hear in there?”
“Enough to know you cheated on your wife and she wasn’t too happy when she found out.”
Larry looked away. “Yeah, this was the moment Emily found out.”
“When did this happen?”
He screwed up his face in thought. “A few days before, well, you.” The ‘you’ came out sharply, Larry staring daggers into Tony.
“And this is Renee Walker we’re talking about?””
The former head of the FBI nodded.
“Did Renee know?” Larry looked confused. “That you were still married?” He clarified.
Larry chewed his lip. “Sort of. I told her Emily and I were separated, which we weren’t. Emily and I was just feeling…isolated, I guess? Work was frustrating but I could never talk to her about it, always felt like there was this wall between us, you know?”
Tony recalled Jack mentioning the same thing about Teri. Being able to vent about work with Michelle definitely helped to keep things calm between them, but working together had so many other consequences. “I know what you’re saying, but, uh, the grass isn’t that much greener on the other side.”
At least you didn’t have to worry about her getting shot or infected with a virus. No risks like that when you work in an office like a normal person.
“I guess there’s ups and downs to both. But yeah, Renee and I mainly got closer just because she was one of the highest-ranking agents there, so we had all of our work problems in common. Went on a few dates after some late nights, then one thing lead to another and…”
Tony put the pieces together, trying to recall how Larry and Renee had regarded each other that day. There was definitely a sense of awkward tension between them.
“Did she find out eventually?”
Larry nodded. “Yeah, the day after Emily did, then we called it off, and well…yeah. Didn’t exactly get the chance to make amends with either of them after that. I-I never wanted to hurt Emily. She’s the mother of my children for Christ’s sake, I just didn’t want to add my work to the list of things she worried about.” He sniffed.
“Then you need to forgive yourself.” Tony’s voice was sympathetic. “Acknowledge that it was wrong, but that you’re sorry for hurting them. Because sitting here punishing yourself won’t make you feel better. When the loop resets, just tell Emily how you feel. Let it all out. I mean think about it, your loop is supposed to show you the thing you feel guiltiest about, so the fact that it’s the conversation where Emily finds out and not Renee means you do love her.”
“Really? And then th-that’s it? I get out of this?”
Tony confirmed his hopes. Then Larry’s face grew determined. Motivated. A look that Tony had now seen 211 times and knew meant that he was now ready to break his loop.
Craning his neck, Larry stared back at the house, eyes crinkling a little. “Tony, how far does this go?”
He tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
Larry’s voice was soft. “I mean…I know the loop always starts in the kitchen, but can I move around the house?”
Tony still looked confused. “It’s built from your memories and your soul, so I guess so. Why do you ask?”
“I want to say goodbye to the kids.”
He struggled to place his words, wanting to tell him it was just a figment, a mirage, but upon seeing the affection on his face, Tony conceded. “Alright. We’ll go through the back, I think Lucifer’s made it that if you go back to the kitchen it’ll start up again.”
Larry lead Tony through his house, and watched him walk solemnly down the unlit hallway. A soft brightness peaked out from under two adjacent doors. The first opened with a gentle creak. Tony found himself in a teal room, butterfly stickers adorning the wall. A few medals and coloured belts were displayed in the corner. He walked over to inspect them.
“Taekwondo. I wanted her to grow up knowing how to defend herself.” Larry whispered.
Tony smiled a little. If he’d had a daughter, he was sure he and Michelle would have wanted the same thing. They turned their attention to the seven year old girl asleep in her bed. Larry approached her, as if to kiss her goodnight.
“Don’t.”
He paused his caressing motion in mid-air before turning, a sad, confused expression on his face.
“They’re all demons. The people, that is. You can’t tell by looking, but, uh, I wouldn’t touch her if I were you. Don’t want you to ruin your memories. Sorry.”
Larry retracted his hand upon hearing the word ‘demon’, too scared to ask for a more detailed explanation. He instead sent her an air-kiss, and tentatively sat on the end of her bed, gazing at her. “I know you can’t actually hear me, sweetheart, but well, here it goes. It’ll probably be really hard with daddy being gone.” He wiped under his nose. “But I want you to promise me, Alicia, that you won’t let that stop you. I want you to do all the things you set your heart to. And I want you to promise me you’ll get that black belt so one day when we’re both in Heaven you can come and kick daddy’s ass, okay?” His voice was breaking. “Promise me that. And promise me you’ll look after your brother, too. I love you so much.” Tony watched him resist going in to touch her again, feeling a small ache in his chest at Larry’s whisper, at how fraught with emotion it was.
Shutting the door slowly, they went into the next room. Even in the faintness of the nightlight, Tony could tell the walls were rife with colour. Every inch was covered in a painting or drawing of some kind, crayons were scattered all over the desk. The occupant of this room was a younger boy. Tony noticed the ‘Happy 4th Birthday’ cards on the bedside table, as Larry sat on the bed, just as he’d done for his daughter. “Hey, Evan, sweetheart. I want you to promise me something too. I want you to promise you’ll keep making drawings and paintings for your mommy, okay? They’ll help cheer her up. That’s your job now, help your mommy be happy, because it’s gonna be really hard for her without daddy.” He stifled a sob. “And be good to your sister. You might not remember me that well, but just know that I love you with all my heart.” He hesitated leaning down to hug him, opting for another air-kiss. The ache in Tony’s chest grew, Will coming to his mind.
He watched Larry squeeze his eyes shut for a moment, before walking back out of the room and towards the front of the house. Tony placed a hand on Larry’s shoulder as he stood over the threshold of the kitchen. Larry twisted to face him. “You know, for the record, I, uh, didn’t really want to kill you.” Even Tony struggled to contain his composure. “Me flipping the coin was just so I could get to Michelle’s killer, and well, you would have gotten in the way had you known what I planned to do.”
Larry rolled his eyes, using one hand to wipe away a tear that had formed. “I know, Almeida. Not many people apologise before they smother someone to death.” He smiled crookedly. “But thanks. And thanks for this, too. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Just holding up my end of the deal.”
He rolled his eyes again, still trying to process the information Tony had told him. “Well. Here goes.” As the loop began once again, Tony was transported back to his place in the middle of the road. He’d gotten used to the jarring sensation by now. A few moments later, the surroundings began to crumble and shatter, with Larry’s grinning, relieved face revealed at the centre of it all. It reminded Tony once again why he was doing all of this. Not only for him, but also to make sure 305 innocent people got the eternal bliss they deserved.
You did it, Larry.
“Hey Almeida?” He looked up, surprised as Larry’s voice grabbed his attention. “Good luck.”
Tony returned his grin, tipping his head in thanks, before staring down at the newly glowing 212th bead on the rosary chain.