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Chapter Text

The sun was at its lowest peak. Not too long now and the sky would be enveloped in darkness, but not the kind of darkness that is associated with people's misconstrued conception of evil, but rather the kind that we as people perceive as pure and good. This type of darkness was illuminated by the so-called savior in the sky - the moon.

We believe that because the moon provides light to this shallow place we call our home, it is some sort of God, some sort of emblem that signifies to us - the existence of good and that it prevails in the end. 

Darkness is overcome with light. It is nothing but a sheer notion that one cannot disagree with, because as they say, everything does come in pairs. We cannot have darkness without light and we cannot have light if it was not for darkness. Though, if such was the case then how do all these misguided souls explain the darkness that never truly sees the light from within? 

How does one explain the type of darkness that slowly latches itself onto your very being or festers around the one place that is supposed to be your light - the heart? 

He tried countless times to find the answer or to even come up with a sensible explanation for the raging thoughts that flock his mind. It was simply no use though, because no matter the scenario, the conclusion was always the same. 

He fixes the off fitting jacket on his shoulder and straightens his tie in the mirror. There, staring back at him was a shell of a man, an empty vessel with almost transparent skin and sunken eyes marred with endless misery and insomnia.

They see nothing but shapes and shadows that dazzle the intent of things in their true form. Because that was what the world had become to him now.

Nothing but insignificant objects that hold zero meaning- just colourless, bland and unimportant. He takes a shaky breath once more, inhaling deep and closing his eyes. He hopes every time he opens them that the world would be different, but it never was. 

It was his first time wearing a suit too. He didn't think this would be the time or place for it either. The universe has a funny way of doing things he supposes.

A dry laugh almost escapes him and it feels normal somehow. He hasn't been able to show any sort of emotion since last Tuesday, two forty seven am. He supposes his life stopped that day and what he sees now, what he's looking at right now is a fake world.

Something he's sure is all but a dream - or maybe even a nightmare. He just needs to wake up, yet somehow he could not.  

He takes a look around their - his flat (now) - even words from his sub conscious mock him. A desperate shriek he did not know he kept in, escapes his lungs. Every corner of this house screams his name, everywhere has his scent and his laugh - still so loud and echoey, still so bright and full of life. 

The front door opens and for a moment it is as if he is replaying some distant memory in his head. Because this beautiful boy- his beautiful boy is stood on the threshold with his arms outstretched, he is smiling like he always did, eyes crinkling to the ends and dimples sinking into his milky skin.

Itachi closes his eyes raking a weak cry from within. When he reopens them no one is there because of course it was a sick joke the universe throws at him. He wants to scream somehow but he figures it will only make this seem even realer than it was. 

So instead, he fixes his jacket one last time and strolls out the door briskly. There is no time to think. There is no more time for anything anymore. 

There was no light once you have been consumed in darkness. There was only darkness and pain. 

Itachi took one last look at this so called savior in the sky and scuffed. The moon could not be a savior if it could not provide light to someone in the darkness. It was a harsh reality he had learnt to live with. This world was filled with nothing but darkness, nothing but the shattered dreams of his lover and the stench of his hopes that linger in the air.

Itachi despised the moon because even in the darkest of hours it still managed to shine bright. He simply could not glow any longer. his aura, his hope, his light was gone the day Shisui left him in this cruel world all alone in the darkness. 

Chapter Text

5 years later

My mornings consisted of being awakened by the feeling of wetness on my feet. Long, cold wetness. Long, cold, sticky wetness.

There was a time in my life when the wetness that greeted me in those mornings was a pleasant surprise. Moist lips around my solid cock, or drying saliva on my bare torso,  now it was just a pool of sadness that crushed the illusions of my past and it almost made me never want to be awake again.

I knew who was the culprit to my every morning dilemma though, and it would always go the same exact way. 

"Charlie not now," I would call knowing it never eases up until I open my eyes. "Fine, I'm up!" Only then would he stop the consistent licking and sit obediently on my lap. I decided a while ago that I needed company since I was alone in this big ole house. 

Some of my decisions usually occurred irrationally and since he was not there to tell me off I had to act on my own instinct. I had to have the pup from the very first time I saw him through that glass window.

To my defense, he was adorable and it was justifiable enough on my decision to take him home. He was also energetic, he never let me sleep in, he shits everywhere, he never leaves me alone and he was so loud.

Beside the dog being an absolute commitment for me it was the one thing he wanted when we first moved in together. It was another step forward in "our future" according to him. He always wanted a dog.

Which is why I got one despite my efforts of trying to convince myself that I got him solely because I thought he was simply cute.  

"Alright I know you need to pee. Hold on," almost robot like I would make my way to the front door to let him out,

"Come on boy!" Charlie would excitedly follow. I often wonder when the excitement for him ends. For me it was three months ago, when I bought him. 

Finding solitude was quite the chore when all of my attention needed to be focused on a dog. Still, there were some things that managed to get me out of that mindset, if only for a few moments at least.

One such thing happened to be my mobile phone. I use it to go over my daily itinerary drafted by Sara. 

Sometimes I look at the messages Kylo sends me but never know what to reply. He has grown accustomed to my lack of luster I suppose. He never mentions it and I never bring it up either.

The most effective way I use my phone though is by simply pressing one knob and getting to hear his voice again. 

A while back they sent his unpaid bill to the house and I paid it. Another irrational decision but I kept paying it. His phone was still tucked in my bedside table untouched. I would draw my own phone to my ear and listen to his number go to voicemail. 

You've reached Shisui star QB and Kansas finest. Do your thing after the beep and maybe I'll just call you back. 

After the twentieth time on repeat and my cheeks are fully soaked with my own pitiful tears I would finally put my phone away and go look for Charlie.

He would skip happily over when he spotted me by the door. We would curl up on the big sofa and watch the morning news until it was time for me to get ready for work.

It was an irrational decision to get a dog but I was forever grateful I did not have to be stuck in this huge space alone. 

My mornings consisted of the wrong type of wetness and my day was filled with the same two voices that came to me like muscle memory.

"A few messages sir, you're requested for an impromptu meeting at eleven with Annmarie," Sara, my very young, fresh out of university assistant, would not stop to breathe and bombard me as soon as I walk in the door.

"Also Mr. Mcallister called about the settlement date. I told him you'd return his calls as soon as you're in." I usually just nod to indicate I understood what she was saying. I would curtly dismiss her when I approached my office, slipping close the door so I did not have to hear her voice again. 

I would wonder briefly if she really thought I was as gruff as I presented myself to her. It would often fall short when the phone on my table would go off constantly. It keeps me occupied though so I never complain.

Kylo would call ever so often when I have completely immersed myself in work and demand I accompany him on a night out. It did not always turn out pleasant because I knew why he suggested it in the first place.

He tends to worry even though I keep telling him I was fine. Somewhere along those years he started to believe me. Now our outings consisted of mainly Kylo's poor attempts at impressing women and less attempts at constantly asking me if I was alright.

Kylo was talking to some bird he met while getting drinks by the bar. I could see him from where he'd left me almost half an hour ago, looking all but ridiculous and dad like, desperately trying to catch the attention of some poor soul. He was bracketing this girl with one hand the other is on his hips. The girl seems interested enough because she was playing with the ends of her hair.

Something I have learnt about the female species over the years. Or maybe because I was around football players a lot. They knew a thing or two about women. They often spoke like they did. It reminded me of back in school when Kylo would try to bed girls in the countless parties I accompanied him with.

His behaviour always made me gag but it was something I would not have changed if given the chance. Brazen by my inner monologue for too long I had actually forgotten the initial reason I was sitting over here while Kylo was across the bar. 

"So how's work 'tachi?" Suddenly the urge to smile crept heavily on my shoulders for I did not want him to feel like I was purposely avoiding him. Even though I was.

But even five years later and it was something I could not quite learn. Smiling shows affection, smiling shows consideration, admiration. None of those things I felt anymore. It was not the boy's fault per se it was just not something I knew how to do. It is why I had settled with a small upturn of my mouth.

Feeling my lips curl upward, I watch the boy and his reaction. To me it was just a movement but to him it looked like I had just hung the moon. He was hanging off my presence like a moth to flames. I could not quite tell if I liked it or not.

Of course I understood that the stranger meant no harm and he was only trying to converse with me because naturally, that was human instinct. That is why he was sitting so close to me and asking about my job.

The thing that was most troubling to me though was the term the stranger used to address me. I've not heard that since - well in a long time. And again I know the stranger means no harm, probably thought it would sooth the awkwardness and make him feel comfort because nicknames, pet names, shortening someone's name makes it feel more personal.

That is not what I wanted to feel. It was only a name and what I did feel somehow enraged something within me. To hear it fall from someone else's mouth was like a slap in the face, a gentle reminder of the past and exactly why it was the past.  

"Let's not ruin this night by talking about rich people who pay me to make their bad deeds go away," I did the only thing I knew to do. Cause a distraction. He seemed pleased when I slipped my hand to grip his thigh because he moved in closer, the question on his lips all but forgotten for sure. Mission accomplished on my part once again.

Besides, talking about myself only made my ego grow ten times bigger. If possible. 

"I'll just be back. We need drinks and Kylo isn't back yet." I've still got him eating out of my hand because his eyes are glazed over as I brush up close to his ear before standing and making my way rather quickly over to Kylo by the bar. He does nothing but comply, silently anticipating my next move. 

"Why did you leave me alone with him?" Kylo does not even notice my presence; he is still fully committed to the clueless brunette leant against the wall. She has no idea what she was in for with Kylo. I've been friends with this maniac for ten years and Kylo still has not managed to master the craft that is women.

His heart is in the right place, his words not so much. I did nothing to enable his case either when I couldn't help but to shove at his shoulder making his beer slosh all over the girl's pretty dress. I was in a far more pressing dilemma than she was, in my defense. 

"I'm so sor-" before Kylo can finish he collects a slap across his face and the brunette girl is stomping off. He is still in shock and holding onto his reddened cheeks when he turns to glare at me. 

"Not again!" 

"At Least your clothes are dry this time,"I tried to reason while watching Kylo rub his bruised jaw. I wanted to apologise but watching him this way was far more entertaining. 

"I was this close bastard," he makes the gesture with his hands. He did not stand a chance with that girl and he knows it. Truth often hurts I would always say, which is why I figured Kylo would not have made it a day in my field of work. 

"You're thirty. You could be that girl's father," we both occupied the empty stools by the bar. It was easier to banter back and forth with Kylo. It was the one thing I liked when I was practically forced at these weekly outings. 

Sparing a once over at the direction where I left stranger only revamped my emotions towards Kylo and why I hated going out all together. It had overwhelmed my delight at actually leaving my house.

I decided to make the most of it anyway and focus all my energy on the bartender coming over to us with two more cold beers in her hands. 

"You are right. I could be that girl's daddy. A Lot of people are into that these days, excuse you."

"You are repulsive. I could put you in jail just remember that." 

Kylo takes a swing at his beer, "You'd also find a way to bail me out twat" Touché.

There was not a thing I would not do for him and he knows it. He has been using it to his advantage against me all these years. 

"The cons of being a defense attorney," Kylo just nudges at my shoulder playfully. 

"We should head back to the table, lover boy is getting angsty."

"Fuck you by the way. For leaving me alone with him," the boy is sitting almost shyly, with his head casted on his fingers tangled in his lap. His dark curly hair falling over to hide his face.

A picture of innocence and to think Kylo wanted me to taint this boy who is probably only doing this because he cannot afford to pay his tuition. 

This bar was crowded with people like him. Coincidently located near a university and about a stone's throw away from Kylo's office because after all, that was all my life consisted of. Clichés. And the mix of people made it all but surreal.

On one hand there was a group of middle aged men who came in here to either forget their current life dilemmas or flaunt their money to university students. The next hand simply consists of young people in desperate need to make quick money.

The situation made me remember a time when I was almost like that. Thinking that law school was a death sentence rather than the correct career path. Not being able to find solitude because my days were spent buried in a book, stomach empty and when it was full it was most likely leftovers from the restaurant I worked part time at. 

It was a time when I wanted to give up everything because I could not afford to pay rent anymore and the boy laying next to me appeared skinnier because he was hardly eating. A time when I would do everything to put food in his belly so he never loses his glow or the smile on his face.

I remember law school so clearly but most of all I remember him so clearly. All of my memories centered around him and there was not a time I regretted ever experiencing.

 What I would give if I could just go back. And it is not something a successful man would ever say. Dismal days make a man sure, they toughen you up, make you stronger, more tolerable, more immune. It builds character, but successful men would tell you they never want to go back to it. Except me. I would do anything to go back in time.

I have got money and no one to spend it on, have a house with no one to share it with, a bed with no one in it, and a heart with a giant hole in it. It seems ironic when people work so hard to get what they want in life then only to realise what we wanted we had all along, doesn't it? 

Guess it's true when they say, "you don't miss what you have until it's gone" and, "you can't have what you lost." It was something that clawed its way deep inside my brain every second, every minute, every hour and every day. 

"He's your type," Kylo says hoping it somehow justifies why this boy is sitting across the room waiting for me obediently. I am not a Christian Grey sadist who preys on poor people and who thinks sex and money could win someone over.

Also, not every boy with curly hair was my type. I did not have a type. 

"You are so fucking dense," I knew I had to make this right. It was not something I was particularly comfortable with which is why I made my way over to the boy still waiting. Kylo evidently follows. 

"How old are you?" His eyes shine as he's slouched over, almost guarded or afraid. I really do not blame him.

He was sucked into this situation just as much as I was. One minute I was there and the next a boy was sitting next to me clawing desperately on the tailored suit I wore begging for attention.

"T-twenty one," he stutters and at that point I was not sure if the boy was scared of me or just scared in general. 

"And what is your major?" 

"Pre med sir"

 Kylo is shocked and so he replies, "Did he just call you sir?" While resting his half drunken beer on the table, "Of course you are the one to get someone who's into the kinky shit" 

"Shut up Ky!" Enraged. I could feel it seeping slowly into my veins but still turn my attention back to the boy, "And what is your name?" 

"Trevor sir" 

"You really do not need to call me sir, Itachi is fine" the boy smiles and this time it is not fake, or plastic.

Of all people, I could tell a genuine smile from a fake. It also further proved my assumptions on the boy. 

"I'm sorry but I'm not interested and I know you aren't either. Here's something for your trouble. Promise me I will never see you in this bar again?" Trevor takes the money all too quickly almost like he could not believe he got money for doing absolutely nothing and says his thanks.

With the words promise smeared from his lips the boy is gone as fast as my money. 

"You're a good man,Tashy" Kylo smiles and pats me on the back, "sometimes I think too good." 

"Someone once told me that it is not a good thing to do the right thing but it was the right thing to do the right thing." I could always hear his voice repeating the words.

He was so proud to speak them, always so bright that it would cause a smile to appear on my face. 

"Is that some famous author or summat?" Kylo does not even know what he is saying but it was too late for him to realise. I knew I should not have said it in the first place because now I cannot stop whatever it was that was coming out of my mouth. After all these years and it was a saying that stays with me everyday. Almost like a prayer or a sacred mantra.  

"I suppose he would have been," the sting in my throat only grew and the blurriness crept up quickly and gathered in my eyes. It still makes me tear up even after all this time, "but he was too good for this world, so he wasn't," Kylo pauses and soon enough figures what I was trying to say.

He loved writing, he loved words, he loved so many things, but I mostly loved his love for curling up on our couch with a tattered copy of a paperback book nestled in his hands. I loved the way he'd smile when he noticed my presence in the room, I loved when he would read me verses of his favourite lines and I loved when he would underline the words that reminded him of me.

"He would have been the best." Kylo settles raising his beer to the air, "To Shisui" even hearing his name from another mouth made me shudder. 

I have not yet learnt how to deal with that but still I raise my hand nonetheless with the beer. Truth is, I am supposed to be fine, there was no use in letting other people think I was not. It only causes more problems than I would like. It was better to keep things hidden sometimes.

Letting people know how you really felt only opens wounds, it festers an infection and spreads like wildfire. Definitely not worth the energy. Definitely not worth the depth of explanation. It was one of the few things I've actually learnt over these years.

It was not necessarily a mask because then that would mean I would have to be untrue to myself, almost like I was pretending. It was more like a layer I'd like to think, or rather quite a few layers that have to be peeled apart before reaching to the center - Almost like an onion. I was an onion. But the question still remains though, who was brave enough to peel back those layers? Then I thought to myself the one person who truly knew me left me alone. 

Chapter Text

It was a Thursday when they first met. Itachi was walking to the coffee shop on campus when he heard someone yelling and before he knew it, there was a ball in his face.

The force smacked him hard to the floor and the stranger is by his side in seconds. 

"I'm so sorry I didn't see you there," he panicked but his voice somehow felt soothing. He sounds like one of those voices you hear when you call a sex hotline. All suave and sexy.

Suddenly Itachi is pulled to his feet, head still ringing from the ball's impact; his eyes are forced shut for a few more seconds. The stranger is still so close, his voice still so very loud and echoing.

"Are you hurt?" Sex hotline voice says which makes him peek his eyes open and what he saw almost knocks the air out his lungs. It was like a second ball rained down from the heavens and smacked him in the face again.

 This boy - this man was God - like, he's all lean and muscly, skin kissed by the sun's natural light, hands that have never seen a bad day, so silky smooth running along Itachi's pale to comparison skin. Eyes that pierce a searing hot hole in the center of his chest. It was almost like looking into the sun.

You have to look away because it was detrimental, yet you cannot help but keep staring at it because it was something so fascinating, and out of reach that you have to question why you have to look away in the first place.

And lastly, all Itachi remembers was curls. Lots and lots of messy curly hair, almost like those statuses you see of chiseled men with defined locks in museums. The only thing he was missing was his leafy crown. Was he a Greek god? Was he someone that folks told stories about and only existed in someone's imagination? He was like a fucking magazine model brought to life.

Itachi decided then that it was all a dream. The impact of the ball knocked him out and this was heaven. This is the first thing you see when you enter. An angel. He was an angel. 

The boy giggles almost becoming shy, consciously sweeping his hair out of his eyes. Those eyes that have probably caused riots and burnt cities to the ground.  

"I think you may have a concussion. I'm not an angel. I'm just Shisui," he's Shisui the Angel and he's here to take Itachi to eternal bliss. They are going to ride off into the sunset on a white horse and live life as Angels in the sky and it will be great. 

"I'm sure it will be, but first let's get you to a doctor." Shisui the Angel leads the way and Itachi is definitely loving heaven so far. 

A few minutes, maybe hours later there is a small bed with white sheets and pristine clear floors; with the strong smell of disinfectant in the air. No Angels in sight though, and the thought only strikes him then that along the way he must have done something wrong in heaven so now he has somehow ended up in hell. Which means, there is no more Shisui the Angel.

Someone enters the room just as he was thinking about letting it all go and start crying into this pillow. 

"Ah Itachi you're awake. Good. I'd like to go over some reports with you," carefully watching the man in a giant white coat come over to the bed with a clipboard in his hand. He looks like a doctor and not at all what Itachi was expecting Lucifer to look like.

"You took quite the hit back there. Luckily, your boyfriend brought you to me just in time." 

"My boyfriend?" Maybe this was a test. Maybe Lucifer was testing him to see if he belongs in hell or not. He is known to be mischievous so of course Itachi decides to play along. Lucifer simply cannot win and he needs to go back to heaven. He has to see Shisui again. 

"The lovely gentleman outside with the football uniform?" He says it in a way that suggests Itachi should know what he was talking about even though he hadn't the slightest clue. 

It was amnesia, it has to be Itachi thinks, he has a boyfriend that he does not remember. This test is proving to be more difficult than he was anticipating. 

His eyes betray his body at that moment and takes a chance to look through the blinds of the glass window only to see standing outside Shisui the Angel dressed like a football player. 

"That's him! My angel. I'm still in heaven. Thank God. Literally." 

"Alright you clearly need some more rest. I need you to take it a bit easy." The doctor comes over somewhat affected by his answer and does whatever doctors do and the next thing Itachi knew he was losing vision and everything turned black. 

It was the second time this has happened now, only this time he was even more disoriented than the first, and he was in a significantly darker room. In a hospital bed.

Fuck. And his head hurts so fucking much. What the fuck happened? The last thing he remembers is walking to go get coffee and then - his eyes widened with realisation.  

He remembers the dead man who launched a fucking ball to his face. Itachi was going to kill him, he was going to hunt him down and rip off his skin and eat - 

"You're awake," Itachi's own skin almost fell from his bones at the voice. He was under the impression that he was alone. Clearly, he was not. 

"You scared me," it was hard at that point to make out the person's face but it was the voice that gave some of it away. He could never forget that voice. 

"Do I know you? Why are you here?" The stranger laughs lightly and straightens in his chair to the corner of the room. 

"You don't remember anything?" Itachi decided nodding would be easiest since in all honesty he just wanted to hear the man speak some more. 

"I really didn't mean to. I was just practicing. We've got a game coming up and you just came out of nowhere," he could not tell if his face gave it away but he felt so light inside.

The man's voice took him somewhere tropical, it made Itachi forget everything somehow. Everything but his voice, which would explain the next words that came pouring out of his helpless mouth. 

"Listen, that's all behind us now. Doesn't matter anyway, I have taken balls to the face before," It was until Itachi heard his laugh that he realised two things that day.

One, he would probably do anything to hear his laugh again and two, was simply that he had lost all control of his thoughts when it came to this stranger and he did not mind it one bit. 

"You're funny," there's a smug look on his face and Itachi also decided then that he could not allow this man to know what he did to his emotions. 

He was definitely one of those types that knew the power they held and took pride on the victims that fell for their charm. Even though Itachi was one of this man's victims he was not about to give him the satisfaction.

"I bet you have, no doubt, but I'm still sorry my balls hit your pretty face," he is also a comedian apparently. Unfortunately, not everyone is cut out for the business.

Itachi did not even manage a chuckle and not because he genuinely did not think the boy's joke was funny but because he was still so entranced by his eyes. Was it the colour of the sun setting over the horizon? Or was it the colour of the burning wood by a fireplace? 

Again he did not need to fill this man's ego any more than it was filled. So, Itachi scowled, positively in disgust. "I see it's only funny when you say it. A bit biased if I do say so."

He briefly wondered if he slapped him would the mark mar his pretty skin or would his eyes change deeper brown or brighter red? 

"If you don't mind sir but as you can see I'm clearly fine. You could leave now." The man lifts his eyebrows amused and then the smug look is back. 

"I've got you calling me sir on our first date imagine what you'd call me on the second." And to think Itachi thought he was an angel. He is definitely Lucifer's work and all Itachi wanted to do was sin. 

"I'm literally on a bed." It was meant as an implication of his pain and how this smug bastard has the audacity to flirt with him even in this state, but to the man it meant that Itachi was flirting with him. 

"Is that an invitation?" Stranger stands making his face completely visible to him now.

 The fluorescent lights do no justice to his eyes but they still twinkle, they still hold mischief and sin, so much sin, but not as much as his lips do. It was like wine flowing for the Gods and all Itachi wanted to do was get drunk. 

"Get over yourself. Not everyone is immune to your 1970's pick up lines. Now can you please leave? I need to get some sleep." He was already by the door.

Almost as if Itachi's words only ricocheted off his marble stone body and hit him in the face again. His helmet in one hand and the other on the door knob, the back of his jersey that reads, Uchiha 07. 

"You'd be begging me to jump in your bed. No 1970's pick up lines needed," he chuckles almost sure of himself, "goodnight Itachi" and just like that he's gone. 

*

It was days after when Kylo found out what had happened. 

"You were in the hospital?" Kylo is currently by his laptop on the desk strolling through facebook posts from a party he was at last night. A party Itachi was not invited to because he was stuck studying.

"Yes."

There was no point in hiding it anymore. Kylo had heard through the vines that some football player had rescued a poor sod from a near death experience they were calling it.

He was the laughing stock of many yet, it did not seem to affect him in any way. Let him have his moment, it dies just as soon as it starts. Itachi was not very much of a social influencer to begin with. He did not care what people thought of him, to simply put it. He knew what really happened and that was all that mattered. 

"And it is because a football player hit you in the face with his balls?" Of course Kylo is taking the piss and for that he decided to entertain him. 

"That is what I said."

"And you want me to search him up?" Kylo turns in his chair to look at him sitting on his bed, "Why?" He asks suspiciously, already coming up with different reasons in his head why Itachi would want to find out this certain information in the first place. 

"Because I want to report him," he settles because the real reason is far more ridiculous than anything. Again no one must know how this Uchiha 07 fella has been on his mind since the incident. 

"A week has passed and you want to report him now? Are you insane?" 

"I have rights Ky and you do not get to tell me when I am comfortable enough to be okay with reporting an incident." This would have all been avoided if Itachi was not so lazy to walk all the way over to the library.

Kylo was the only other option with a working laptop so there was no other choice but to endure his interrogation. Kylo does not put up much of a fight he just sighs heavily and goes back to his laptop. 

"You said Uchiha?" He asks mildly curious, "Is this him?" Kylo says again, shifting so Itachi could finally see the screen .

Staring right back is a picture of the smug bastard that did this to him. Self consciously he rubs at the disappearing lump on his head. 

"That's him. The bastard," he chimed almost too quickly but backtracks just the same because it had to be known that he had zero interest in actually being interested in this man. 

"He's hot," Kylo says almost shocked, clicking on other photos of him. "He's quarterback, of course." Itachi had no idea what any of those words meant. His uniform is nice though.

"Says here his full name is Shisui Uchiha and get this, he's an english major." Kylo sounds like he's the one with the fat crush. Itachi does not blame him. Shisui did have that sort of effect.

"There is a game tonight. Do you want to go?" Kylo questions, looking expectantly at him like he already knew the answer. 

"Why would I want to go to his game?" He really tried to make himself seem disinterested but all Kylo did was smile. 

"So tonight at seven?" Something bubbled in his stomach at the possibility of getting to see the man again. He never had to speak the words but he knew Kylo understood. He always did. 

* 

"Do you think we should get something to eat before we show up there?" Itachi questions feeling uneasy as they leave Kylo's dorm.

The nerves were starting to kick in, inching closer to the time when he was going to be face to face with Shisui again. 

"We can eat afterwards. If my calculations are right if Shisui is any good then the game would be over sooner than later," Kylo relays as they make their way down the rooms and into the pathway leading them to the field. 

When they arrived the place was obviously crowded. There are people screaming, clearly enthusiastic about the game. Itachi spotted a few people in the crowd with signs that clearly indicated that Shisui had a lot of fans. He had to roll his eyes. 

"Do you see him?" Kylo is watching the field where some of the players are practicing. So far Itachi doesn't spot the familiar jersey or number so he shakes his head when Kylo looks at him. 

Trying to distract himself, Itachi makes it known that they should have eaten before they came because the power bar he stole from Kylo three hours ago isn't holding up anymore. Kylo knew better than to argue and scurried off to the concession stands.

A player on the field definitely caught Itachi's attention though. He was all black moussed hair and exotic. He was definitely more defined than Shisui in terms of size, his jaw taking up most of his face. He lifts a hand to the crowd and Itachi follows his movements to a girl sitting a few rows above him in the stands.

She's definitely one of the most beautiful women Itachi has even seen in his life. Were all football players Greek Gods? And were all their significant others princes and princesses? Itachi feels like he's missing out on some joke. 

He hears Shisui before he sees him. The noise in the stadium is deafening and the girl with the "Uchiha" poster rises from her seat chucking it up in the air. Itachi's heart stops. Slowly he turns to the field to see Shisui run out while blowing kisses to the crowd. Itachi is glad he can't spot him from this far in the stands. 

He looks even more radiant than Itachi remembers. He really cannot explain it but Shisui has an aura surrounding him that he cannot seem to shake. It's like a force, a magnet that keeps pushing and pulling at every single vein in Itachi's body.

He's like an addiction somehow, a bad habit that cannot go away. Itachi swallows as he watches Shisui go over to the other black haired Greek God. They're all huddled together and he finally has a chance to breathe. 

Kylo comes back shortly after the game starts with hot dogs and soda. Itachi is too entranced at Shisui moving so gracefully along the field to notice his presence much. 

The final bell rings and the crowd erupts in heavy cheers. They won the game. Itachi smiles even though he had zero clue what was happening except for Shisui's team winning in the end. 

"Victory party at the frat!" Jawline Greek God says making the crowd go into a frenzy. Itachi timidly turns to Kylo about to ask if they should go to the party as well but his face is already in a fixed smile nodding his head to indicate his answer. 

They walk into Sigma Chi fraternity house at nine pm. It was already a fucking mess. People scattered the lawns, men with orange and blue painted faces; the signature colour of the Kansas Armadillos football team. This is the first time Itachi has been to a frat party.

Kylo however is an expert and also a crowd favourite. Everyone that sees him seems to know who he is, he's calling out to people Itachi has never seen and it was like watching on the sidelines from a bad teenage movie.

Any minute now he's sure he'll get thrown in the pool or Kylo will leave him helplessly and alone in a corner only to then realise that sulking in a party made no sense and then decide to drink himself to oblivion. 

"Want something to drink?" Kylo calls over the music not waiting for him to answer, "I'll be back. Stay here," he is already walking off leaving Itachi to fend for himself. Just like he thought he would. Where's that pool then?

Itachi laughs at his inner thoughts while making his way through the masses. With any luck he'll find Shisui, maybe brush past him in the halls where he'd stop to apologise only to be surprised that Itachi was the same boy he bumped into the other day. He'd smile and they'd fall in love. 

"Is there somewhere quiet I can go?" Itachi asks one of the meatier boys he spots in the space he deemed as a "man cave"  since the plasma TV is mounted on the walls and full glass ashtrays litter the coffee table. 

"Check the room man there's bound to be one empty," Itachi tries to school his face when the boy winks at him. "Do you want me to show you where they are?" He continues only agitating Itachi further. 

"That's alright. I'll manage. I'm expecting someone." Lie. 

He makes his way up the stairs being careful about swinging open a door and being scarred for life. There was a double door to the end of the hall when he stood atop the stairs. All the other rooms were single doors and stood horizontal to each other.

Naturally, it did strike him as odd and poked at his curious nature. It's why he doesn't hesitate to walk up briskly and pull on the handles to open the doors. It was additional stairs that took Itachi up to the attic. 

A library. It was a bloody library. Itachi could tell not many people had been up here, the floors littered in dust and the air smelt of rotting paper and mildew. He walks over the shelves skipping through the book titles. 

"I'd spent all my time up here if I was a part of this shit frat," Itachi said to no one in particular. 

"Who's there?" Itachi jumped at the voice. He wasn't expecting someone to be here. To the end of the row in section C - F he followed the voice only to come face to face with Shisui sitting on the window sill looking scared out of his mind.

"I thought you were a ghost," he states feeling relieved it was a living breathing person. He also seemed to relax because of the familiar face. Itachi doesn't have to reintroduce himself because he knew Shisui remembers who he was. 

"What are you doing here?" Itachi asked annoyed as if Shisui was trespassing on his land. He was just a tad bit disappointed that this haven had been discovered by someone else before him. He imagined it was how Christopher Columbus felt. 

"The same reason you're here," was Shisui's reply. Itachi thought about it for a second before he deflated and joined Shisui on the window's edge. 

They sat in silence for a while just looking out into the open night sky while heavy music thumped below them. The truth is this is the only reason Itachi was here in the first place. He wanted to be with Shisui.

The thing is, he would have never expected to find him in a dusty attic when there was a party in his honour right downstairs. It didn't make sense. 

"Congratulations by the way," Itachi started off slow and it probably was the right thing to say as Shisui turned his head so quick in his direction he thought he had whiplash. "On the game that is." 

"You were there?" Shisui sounded genuinely surprised by that fact and by then Itachi decided that saying it to him was clearly the wrong thing to start with. Now Shisui knows he was at the football game solely for him. 

"Why is that so surprising?" Itachi made it his mission to look out the window and not at Shisui. The silence returned briefly and broke again when Shisui spoke. 

"You just don't strike me as someone who would waste their time on watching something like football of all things," Shisui's words were slow, almost like he was distracted by something or his focus was elsewhere. Itachi didn't make a move to look at him though. 

"A bit judgmental don't you think?" Itachi laughs a bit trying not to get caught in his web of lies. 

"A bit, but it is the truth." He was so sure of his answer. Itachi had to look at him. Shisui was already staring back. It made his skin itch that Shisui saw right through his façade. He knew all along and Itachi wasn't sure at that point how to react.

"Which is why you chose to spend your time in a party away from the party." He laughed lightly this time and Itachi understood why he said what he said. It wasn't what he thought of Itachi but rather it was the way he felt. Shisui was telling Itachi what he was doing up here in the first place and just like that the silence washed over them once more. Itachi sat atop the edge of the dusty window looking at the clouds trying to hide the moon's beauty.

Shisui sat next to him saying nothing further and making no attempt to leave either. Itachi wasn't sure who moved first but the next morning when he woke up he felt this strange pull in his stomach playing back the events of that night. A pull that came every time he thought of Shisui and he knew it was something he had to figure out. 

Chapter Text

It was the end of another drawn out week and I had found myself back at the same little bar close to the university that Kylo and I would usually go to. It was his first time being late and my very first time arriving early. It didn't occur to me in those moments when I was alone that all I needed to do was get up and leave before Kylo gets there. If I had known sooner I would have left a long time, because somehow alcohol and my mind really do not get along very well. Instead, I still chose to sit in silence except for the nagging voice ringing in my head that kept repeating the same words back to me. It doesn't get better but alcohol numbs the pain and makes you forget. 

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Itachi hasn't been to the frat house in about two weeks and it's not because of the text message Shisui sent him but because he's been so busy with classes. So of course when Kylo comes to his dorm begging to accompany him to a party that Friday night Itachi couldn't say no.
"Do you remember Dominic?" Kylo asks casually as he waited for him to get changed.

"From the football team?" Itachi remembers when he was greek God with the jawline, now he's Dominic.

Itachi was having second guesses about showing up to the frat after he let things turn sour between him and Shisui. Still he pulls on a shirt and tries to tell himself it wasn't such a big deal and he should stop overthinking things. Surely Shisui has moved on by now.

"He was asking about you the other day," Kylo continues as Itachi walks in front him fully dressed. "You're all dolled up." He says clearly surprised by Itachi's decision to keep it casual. To be fair Itachi has been holed up in a dorm for so long that he thought tonight he'd make the most of it. He doesn't know when he'll get another chance to go out like this again anyway.

"No hook ups I just want to get drunk" Itachi warns Kylo as he takes one last look at himself in the mirror before they leave.

The frat looked the same as it did two weeks ago. There was still a ton of drunk people outside yelling, there was still the crowded room of horny teenagers in every corner, there was still loud music thumping and shaking the structure. It was all the same yet some things Itachi wasn't quite able to notice before since he'd always disappear up to the library. Dominic greets them in the hallway and offered them drinks. Itachi was consciously watching around to see if he spotted Shisui among the crowd.

"Don't do that. We are not here for that." Kylo whispers close to his ears making him jump a bit. Of course he noticed Itachi staring into the void. He took a swing of the unnamed alcohol in his cup.

"A bunch of us are playing some games in the lawn out back. You guys want in?" Dominic says coming to stand rather close to Itachi. Kylo watched him brush his shoulders against Itachi and moves him a bit forward.

"Games? What are we in high school?" Itachi jokes taking another gulp of liquor. The taste burns his throat.

"Come on it's fun!" Dominic prudes bumping hips with Itachi. Kylo seems annoyed by their interactions at this point. They are tugged along through the crowd and into the back lawn where a bunch of people were gathered around a circle. There is a small light illuminating the group and even with the lack of light Itachi could tell who was there. The girl with the bright red hair he met in the admin building - Roxy, another girl sitting beside her with short blonde hair, three boys after her who all looked the same - tank tops and snapbacks.

"I brought more players!" Dominic announces to the group making everyone turn to look at them.

"Itachi!" Roxy is the first to stand to greet them. She comes over and hugs him. "You came! Come, sit next to me." She pulls Itachi down to sit.

"We don't need any more players," the voice rocks the group to the core. Everyone was silent for a bit and when Itachi looks across the circle, Shisui is already staring at him, uninterested.

"I don't even know the game. Maybe I should just sit this one out." Itachi says ensuring everyone that he did not need to play or interrupt them. Shisui is still staring at him.

"Just spin the fucking bottle. Whoever it lands on has to do whatever the other person tells them." One of the boys next to blondie says.

"Cap I think it's your turn," Snapback dude bro says to Shisui.

"Fine." He says and spins the bottle. Itachi is saying a chant to the gods, to anyone really, please don't land on me, please don't land on me, please don't land on me, he keeps repeating. It slows down when it reaches him and his breathe gets caught in his throat. This cannot be happening. He has to find some excuse to get up and leave if it lands on him. He cannot face Shisui and he refuses to be exposed like this in front of him and his friends. He never wanted to play this dumb game in the first - It stops on Roxy. The group howls in cheers and laughs. Itachi tries his best to avoid eye contact with Shisui. His hands are shaking as he tries to hide them inside his thighs.

"Truth or dare?" Snapback fella shouts licking his lips at Roxy.

"Shut up moron, Shisui supposed to ask me that." Roxy tells him turning to look at Shisui exactly across from her.

"Which is it then babe?" Hearing Shisui just address someone other than their name made Itachi squirm. There was something so off with his demeanor that it chilled Itachi to his core. This was not the same person he met all those times in the library and it certainly was not the same person who looked so broken at him by the science building when he told Itachi he waited and he never showed up.

"Of course I'll pick dare." Roxy sings looking up for a challenge. She twirls her hair waiting for Shisui to give her something to do.

"I dare you to kiss the person you're most attracted to here." Shisui says in a low voice. Roxy blushes though and seems uncertain at first. She's watching the other boys, probably contemplating whether she should do it or not.

Itachi felt a hand on his leg and when he looks up Roxy is watching him.

"I'm sorry" she mouths as she slowly moves in and pecks him once on the lips. It took him by surprise that he did not even know how to react. The other boys were whistling and Roxy looks hopeful waiting for Itachi to react, or do something but he just couldn't move.

"This game is stupid. I'm going for a smoke." Shisui suddenly says and gets up from the circle and walks off. Itachi finally moves when Kylo comes to his side and whispers the words "are you okay?" in his ear. He nods as he watches Roxy beside him. She's smiling.

"You didn't expect that did you? I just had to. I knew I'd get a reaction out of him. I'm sorry I did that." She says which only made him even more confused.

"But I didn't lie though. You are the one I'm most attracted to here. I would never with the others," she giggles as Itachi is still watching her trying to make sense of it all.

"I-I need a drink," he finally responses and it makes Roxy laugh.

"Come on then. Let's go get one," Kylo comes to grab at his hand and lifts him away from the crowd.

As they're walking off Itachi looks back to see if he could see Shisui or where he went. Roxy and the others go back to their game as they disappear back into the house.
"What the fuck just happened?" Itachi asks Kylo as he pours them two cups of beer from the keg in the kitchen.

"I'm not sure but I think Red head was trying to make Mr. Quarterback jealous," Kylo says taking a chug of his beer and hands Itachi his.

"You think they dated?" Itachi replies watching around the kitchen for some reason hoping he sees Shisui. He wanted to apologise if it made him upset even though it wasn't his fault.

Kylo shrugs his shoulders and takes another hefty sip from his cup. He was not drunk enough for all of this. They both stand there taking drink after drink hoping it does the trick. After a while Kylo seems to fall first. His speech is slurred and he's talking about how much he loves Itachi. It was their sign to go home. Itachi doesn't know the time, his phone is dead and he can't seem to find Kylo's one to check.

Kylo is slung over Itachi's shoulders as they make their way through the crowd.

"Toilet, please I need-" Kylo slurs pulling Itachi down with his weight. They were halfway across the living room.

"Hi can you tell me where the toilets are?" Itachi asks a random girl in the room. She looks at him weird, scuffs and turns away without answering. Well okay then.

"This isn't happening," Itachi says to no one in particular. Kylo heaves next to him and bends over like he's about to throw up. Itachi panics. Kylo runs off trying to find a toilet as Itachi chases after him.

"Ky be careful!" Itachi screams following him up the stairs and into a room that is most definitely a toilet. Kylo bends over and starts to throw up. Itachi stops for a moment after hearing him gag and signaling for Itachi to go.

"I'll be right outside if you need me," Itachi calls closing the door and leaning against it. After about five minutes Kylo still hasn't come out yet. Itachi knocks on the door to see if he's done.

"Ky are you okay?" He calls but no response. "Ky?" He repeats and still no reply. "I'm coming in!" He warns and pushes the door open. Kylo is passed out hugging the toilet bowl.

"For god's sake Ky!" He comes over to try and help him up but he's heavy and Itachi is not at the mental nor physical state to carry him like this.

"Let me," a voice calls and in one swift movement Kylo is over the man's shoulder being carried outside. "My room is right here. We'll let him sleep for a bit then you can wake him when he's a bit sobered up," Shisui says pushing open a door nearby and going inside. Itachi follows him quietly not knowing what to say.

Shisui puts Kylo in the bed watching Itachi slowly come into his room.

"Um, thanks." Itachi says looking around the small dimly lit room and not at Shisui standing across from him. It was unexpected to see his room scattered with books. There was books on his bedside table, a pile of books on his floor. There are a couple posters of football players on his wall and it's not anyone Itachi knows. There is also a chest of drawers which is neatly fixed in the corner of the room. His room was much more organised and clean than Itachi would have imagined. Shisui sits on his chair by the small desk in the corner. There is a picture of a family on his desk, a laptop and even more books stacked in a pile.

"I wanted to apologise too," Itachi says quietly leaning against the bedside table.

"What are apologising for? He's drunk," Shisui says not watching Itachi but rather he's staring at the picture on his desk.

"No I mean-" Itachi starts but stops to gather his thoughts, "I meant for earlier," Shisui turns to watch him, eyebrows in a frown.

"With Roxy," Shisui looks surprised by that and tries to hide it by looking away again.

"You're so weird," he chuckles while saying it, "you didn't even do anything but you're apologising." He continues picking up one of the books from the pile and opening it.

"But I still wanted to because I could tell it made you upset," Itachi replies glancing at Kylo as he shifts in his sleep.

"Why would I be upset?" He sounds confused but also curious as to what answer Itachi had to the question.

Itachi felt stupid. The question made him confused. Obviously it would make anyone upset if the person you're involved with or have been involved with was kissing someone else right in front of you. Does this man just not have feelings? Was he that cold?

He didn't know how to answer and so he chose to stay silent.

"I'm still sorry," he says after a while. "I'm not interested in Roxy just so you know," Itachi left it at that. At least it would reassure Shisui somehow.

"And is there anyone you're interested in?" Shisui is staring at him now. Itachi matches his gaze for a moment but because it was so intense he looks away.

"I don't know," he settles with "what about you?" Shisui gets up from his seat and makes for the door.

"I'm not interested in anyone but rather people are interested in me," he says with a smug look on his face again. It reminds Itachi of the boy he first met back in the hospital. Smug, cocky, fake.

*

Several days had pass after the frat party. Kylo was fine after that night and does not recall much of it. Itachi doesn't see Shisui and he doesn't go near the house anymore. He focuses on his classes and finals exams that were on its way. He barely had time for himself anymore.

"Mum, I told you I'm fine." Itachi says on the phone one chilly evening. He's walking pass the university cafe, books piled in a stack in one hand, phone in the other. His mother is telling him about how much she's worried about him not getting home cooked meals and if he's been eating properly since he's been away from home. Itachi hates that she still thinks of him as a kid but cares for the sentiment anyway.

"I'll talk to you later I have to go." He dismisses her as he pushes the cafe door open to go inside. He sets down his pile of books on an empty table and goes to the counter to order.

"Hi, a small vanilla latte with a shot of caramel creamer please," he relies going through his phone to check his messages. His mother is still messaging him about eating hot meals instead of take away. She even suggest he take a trip when he gets a break and come home for some time. He sighs pondering the thought. He gets his drink and goes back to his table to enjoy it. He's still looking over his messages when the voice of someone makes him look up.

"Did you hear what happened to the cap?"

"I heard he got knocked up really bad," the other boy says to him. Itachi couldn't help but to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"He's not one to pick fights though."

"I heard it was his brother." The boy gasp not believing what he just heard.

"He's lucky he didn't get suspended for something like that. But I guess the principal has his favourites."

"Anything for the school's shining football star," they continue to talk but Itachi zoned out after "football star" they had to be referring to Shisui. He's picking fights with people now?

Itachi lost his appetite. He would be lying if the man didn't take up most of his thoughts after that. Should he go check on him? Should he ask if he's alright? Why does it matter to you anyway? He asks himself.

Later in the dorm he called Kylo to come over.

"I don't even like her. She keeps telling everyone we fucked?" Kylo says stretched out on the bed. "Normally I wouldn't mind but now everyone thinks she's my girlfriend." He continues looking up at the ceiling. "Oi! Are you listening?" He smacks the pillow on Itachi's face to get his attention.

"Huh? What did you say?" Kylo gets up to watch him.

"You zoned out again. Okay what's on your mind. Tell me," Kylo had this strange thing where he knows exactly what was affecting Itachi and he hated it.

"It's nothing," he lied trying to avoid eye contact with him.

"Something is definitely on your mind. Come on you can tell me."

Itachi starts to fidget thinking if it was wise to bring up Shisui. Truth is he couldn't stop thinking of him since he overheard the conversation in the cafe earlier that day.

"I heard-" he starts but wasn't quite sure how to exactly say it. What does he even say? "Shisui he-"

"Oh so you heard." Kylo finishes. "Who told you? Was it Roxy?" Itachi is stunned. So it's true then? And Kylo knows.

"I heard some people talking about him." Kylo nods indicating he understood. "Is he really hurt?"

"It's nothing but a black eye and a few scratches." Kylo dismisses laying back down on the bed. "Not gonna lie he did surprise me."

"What does that even mean?" Kylo watches him from the bed in disbelief.

"You don't know what he fought for?" Itachi shakes his head making Kylo laugh.

"I want to tell you but I feel like you should find that out yourself." It made Itachi brain work into overtime.

"I have to go." He immediately says putting on his coat ready to leave.

"What?! You mean now?" Kylo calls distraught. Itachi slams the door as he leaves hurrying down the halls, heading for the frat.

When he's there his body is still on fire and his hands are still shaking but he doesn't care. He knocks the door and one of the boys answers it.

"Is Shisui here?" Itachi asks making the boy frown.

"He doesn't want to see anyone right now." The boy says already attempting to close the door in his face.

"Please I just need to see him for a minute," Itachi is begging now. He feels pathetic and the boy by the door doesn't seem to budge.

"What are you doing freshman let him in." Another voice calls pushing the boy from the door. It's Dominic.

"Itachi, what are you doing here?" He seems surprised but also quite excited to see Itachi by the door. It wasn't hard to figure out Dominic had a little crush on Itachi, he didn't hide it very well.

"I heard about what happened to Shisui, is he here?" Dominic face falls so suddenly.

"Oh?" He practically deflates, "Shisui he's-he's in his room." He makes way for Itachi to come inside. "I'm not sure if he's in the talking mood but you can still try." Dominic continues probably trying to dissuade Itachi from what he's about to do.

"Thank you so much Dom." He physically gets red because of the nickname Itachi gave him. He makes his way slowly up the stairs and into the all too familiar hallway of the frat house. He passes by the rooms and goes for the double doors that lead to the library. It's was already getting dark now and he just knew there was no other place Shisui would be if he wanted to be left alone. True to his belief when Itachi arrives upstairs and goes slowly down the lanes there Shisui is sitting by the windows sill. He seems so broken and small at that moment. Itachi stops trying to gather his thoughts before he decides he wants the man to know he's here.

"It's cold up here," Itachi approaches carefully and says in the softest voice he can muster. Shisui is stunned but tries to hide it behind a cough. He purposely turns his head away from Itachi so that he doesn't see the side with his black eye. He has a couple bandages on his face and a few on his arm.

"What are you doing here?" Shisui says even though he's looking out the window and away from Itachi.

"You know why I'm here." He replies coming closer to where Shisui sat.

"I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me. I'm fine," he's putting up that front again even Itachi could see right through it. He was hurting and he most definitely needed someone by his side at the moment. They don't say anything for a while. Eventually, Itachi made his way to sit next to him. He tries to avoid watching him but only because he didn't want Shisui to feel self conscious about his bruises. The comfortable silence was overwhelming but it feel safe. It felt like all those other times they've been up here.
"When I was little I always thought the moon was following me," Itachi talks still staring out the window where the moon is just beginning to shine in the night's sky. Shisui doesn't say a word but rather he waits for Itachi to continue. "At first I would cry because it wouldn't leave me alone. I was so scared." Itachi chuckles thinking about the memory. "Then as I got older I thought what a nice concept. We look up at the moon for hope, we look at the moon and tell it all our secrets, we smile at it because it reminds us of all the good times, we cry at it because sometimes it's the only one who listens. The moon is always following us and I think that's pretty cool." Itachi turns to slowly look at Shisui who is already watching him. His eyes are watery and his hands are shaking.

"But sometimes the moon needs us too." Shisui is louder now. He's crying, hands covering his face in his lap and bracketed off from everything else.

"It's alright." Itachi makes a move to get closer to him. Their hands touch and Shisui flinches and looks up at him with tears falling from his face. He's staring at Itachi, hands still shaking. Itachi doesn't stop, leaning in closer and enveloping him in a hug. His hands are to his chest bawled up and his face is hiding behind his tucked up legs. It's an awkward position for a proper hug but Itachi doesn't stop. Shisui continues to cry.

"I don't want to play football anymore," he softly says after a while. Itachi listens still holding on to him. "I want to be a teacher not a football star." Shisui finally unhooks his hand from his chest and looks at Itachi just a few centimeters away from him. Itachi slowly moves back at a comfortable distance. His hand droop and solely returns to his side. Shisui is wiping his face as he continues.

"My family is against anything other than a career in football. Do you know who my father is?" He directs at Itachi. He shakes his head slowly.

"He's a six time MVP," he chuckles bitterly, "my brother is captain of the Callers. You know black and yellow? That's him." He scrubs his hands over his face, "and now their youngest wants to be a fucking English teacher." He continues to laugh even though it never seems to reach his eyes. He's hurting and Itachi doesn't know what he could do or say to appease him.

"Is that why you got into a fight?" Itachi asks watching him carefully. Shisui sighs looking away.

"No." He replies, "in addition to me wanting to drop football," he takes a deep breath, "I like men." He says it casually and laughs again. "Kami Uchiha with a gay son who wants to be a teacher." He laughs louder and this time it seems genuine. "What do you want to do when you leave here?"

"I-I want to go to law school," Itachi responds all too quickly.

"You have it all figured out huh?"

"I always wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to be the voice for people who have lost theirs." Shisui snorts and let a small smile show.

"You'd be good at that." He says looking at Itachi.

They settle back into silence. They stayed there for God knows how long. But now Itachi feels like he's now starting to understand the mind of Shisui Uchiha. Why he's always putting up a front of people, why he's different when he's with Itachi. He knows when he leaves here he's going to search up who Kami Uchiha is and get more information on his family.