Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Simon!” she yelled, all but kicking down the door to their house. In her defense it was an emergency of the grandest importance, and it wouldn’t be properly expressed over the phone.

“What the hell do you want!? Can’t you see I’m busy doing important things?!” Simon shot back through gritted teeth, trying to be angry enough to hide how startled he was. It was like he forgot how good her ears were at this sort of thing.

Had this been any other situation, she would’ve mocked him. But this was the most important thing she had ever had happen in a while, and this was something that she needed assistance with. And Simon was her best bet so giving him shit for getting startled was only going to hurt her case.

“Simon! I need your help!”

He turned, looked her up and down, “You don’t appear to be wounded. Have you been poisoned?”

“No.”

“Killed anyone and need the body disposed of?”

“No??”

“Then bugger off. I’m busy and I don’t have time for nonsense,” he said, turning back to his game as if she couldn’t see him playing Okami on the living room tv.

She rolled her eyes and headed towards the living room, “Simon! It’s important!”

“Apologies. Did I miss something urgent in the list? Perhaps there’s a pursuer you need dealt with?”

“Apollo counts his hair in his height!”

That got his attention. He set down his controller and stared at her, “What?”

“He spikes his hair and counts it in with his height!”

“Well how tall is he claiming to be?”

“He’s trying to say he’s 5’5”. The same height as me.”

There was a beat of silence, “And that’s incorrect?”

She punched his arm. “Simon!”

He snorted. “Apologies, all you ants look the same height to me. How tall is he in actuality?”

“5’ even. The same height as Trucy.”

There was silence, until Simon burst out laughing, “The bastard’s actually trying to convince people that he’s an entire five inches taller than he is?” he doubled over as he slammed his hand down on the back of the couch, “I’ve gotta say, I misjudged Justice-Dono. Turns out he’s got a lot more audacity than I thought if he thinks he can pull that off.”

“And now you see why I need your help.”

“Why? I doubt logic will matter in his delusions of grandeur. Do you propose I make good on my threat and cut off those horns of his?” Simon offered.

And it was tempting, she would admit. The look on his face would be priceless, but it would probably end up with him sulking for the next few months as his bangs grew out. Not to mention they’d have to look at him without them and that felt like just as much a punishment for her in the long run.

Plus he’d probably cry and then she’d feel bad about it. This was about giving him a hard time, not about her ruining the next few months with the cold, cold sting of reality.

“No, I have a way better idea,” one that as her roommate and someone with money, only he could do, “I need you to make me tall.”

“Oh?”

“We’re going to use Apollo’s tactic against him, just so he can see how silly it really is. So we’re gonna get a bunch of hair gel and hairspray, and we’re going to make me…’tall.’”

A wicked smile crossed his lips. He was sold from the moment she suggested this, but now She impressed him on how devious she could be, “How grand do you intend it to be?”

She grinned back, “I think you already know.”

“Then I suppose we had better get to work. It’s a worthy enough endeavour that for once I’ll foot the bill. I expect to be repaid with a photo of Justice-Dono when he sees our hard work tomorrow.”

He was just as thrilled about this as she was. There was no way this plan could go wrong.

They got what they needed, and then got up early the next morning.

Really early.

So early that she wasn’t even sure if Simon went to bed or not.

But there was a lot of work to do, so she’d let it slide this time. Because she also woke up at four just to do this. She was sacrificing her morning run for this, but honestly it was going to be so worth it.

It took three tubes of hair gel, four cans of hairspray, and they sacrificed a spatula from the kitchen to help support it, but they did it. Her hair was now in a very tall spike.

Did it mean she had to walk to work because she couldn’t fit in her car? Yes. Did it mean that she had to walk all the way in heels to gain a little extra height? Yes. Could she have worn different shoes for her walk then put them on there? Also yes, but what’s done is done. It’s called committing to the bit and she has done it.

She walked into work giddy, and sat at her desk. So far there was no sight of Apollo, but she was going to keep her phone and an ear out. She could only assume how he was going to react.

It was going to be loud, but so, so worth it.

Faintly, she could hear the sound of footsteps getting closer. It was either Mr. Wright, or it was Apollo. It was always so hard to tell because they wore similar shoes. Regardless her hand was going over Widget. There was no need for any commentary from him spoiling the surprise before he saw her.

For someone who prided himself on noticing things about people, it was embarrassing how Apollo didn’t notice the very big change that had happened. He just walked by her with nothing more than a “Mornin,” as he headed to his desk and sat down.

Was this how it felt to be Prosecutor Gavin?

He didn’t even have a case, she knew that the casefile was just a cover for whatever messed up nerd book he was reading this time. He’s done it enough times for her to know.

He also wasn’t as sneaky as he liked to think, but that's besides the point. She needed him to look at her. Because somehow his special eyes hadn’t noticed anything. He hadn’t even looked up.

“Hey Apollo, do you have a pen I could borrow?”

Look up… Look up….

“Yeah sure,” he said, going into his desk and holding a hand out towards her.

This felt like it could be turned into a game. One she would have to orchestrate with Trucy later. More parties might be involved, but Trucy had to be for sure. They needed to test the boundaries of messing with Apollo and push it to new heights.

Well, heights beyond the literal ones they were doing today.

She had the current messing with him to deal with first. They didn’t spend three hours doing her hair for nothing. Apollo was going to notice whether he liked it or not.

“Could you lean a little more? I can’t reach it,” she said, not moving a little.

He leaned forward, and waved the pen around. His brow furrowed as he couldn’t find her hand. It was almost like this was an excuse to get him to look at her.

The “case” was set down so he could lean more, but then he stopped when he saw her. His mouth hanging agape like a fish and his brain couldn’t process what happened. She snapped the picture, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“What did you… Why do you look like a troll doll?!?” he asked, his gaze now fixed on the tip of her hair, missing her triumphant grin.

“I’ve decided I wanna be eight feet tall now. So I am,” she crossed her arms.

Apollo’s expression turned sour. Even more so when he noticed her take a picture.

She watched as the gears turned in his head. Nothing seemed to be sticking, because he was sputtering and looked a lot like he was cornered in court.

“Oh fuck off!” he spat bitterly, going to sulk behind his case file.

All Athena could do was cackle. This was so worth the four showers she was going to have to take when she got home.