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Chapter Text

If it is to be believed that fairy tales are in fact tales passed down from fairies, then they might say they live by a certain code with which to tell these tales.

Only the best stories from the fairies get passed down and all aspiring fairies look forward to the day where their oration lives on through generations and adaptations.

And what makes a legendary tale, one might ask?

Well, it's rather simple actually.

Step one: it must always begin with any of the following- 'long ago', 'once upon a time', or 'once there was a __'

Step two: there's always a heroic being and a villainous being

Step three: the tale was almost always witnessed in a far away, distant place. Bonus points if the story is so fantastical, the listeners are convinced the land is make believe

Step four: good always wins after all problems are solved by the end.

Step five: include wishes, creatures like dragons, and, of course, the fairies

Step six: magic (although, it must be remembered that all magic comes with a price)

Step seven: a happy ending

More bonus points if the subjects break out into song and/or dance, as well as if there's royalty and talking animals.

Fairies spend most of their apprenticeship studying great classics, relishing in each generations' adaptations, inspiring human authors to pen these tales. The blueprint is foolproof. It withstands the tests of time.

If any fairy or fae is ever so lucky to bear witness and tell the tales of true love, they're elevated high in rank and status. It's the dream come true to be able to narrate one's own fairy tale.

Maybe you're reading this and you're thinking this is the build up for that sort of tale. Rest assured, it is not.

In fact, this is the tale of how NOT to fairy tale. Perhaps the most disastrous fairy tale ever to be told. It could be archived as a lesson plan for what not to do. Take this ENTIRELY as a precautionary measure, if you will.

But for nostalgia's sake, let's just start it off with once upon a time...

Where one might think two lovers are cuddled together in sweet embrace.

But these lovers are in fact bickering. Because that's typically what they do.

This is a tale about a couple who seems to thrive in chaos and nothing but chaos. Sure, there are elements of sweet, sweet love and care between them. They're entirely whipped for each other. It's quite sickening, if you ask their friends. But mostly? Chaos. Are they older lovers? Not at all, yet squabble seems to be the language of their love.

That's actually how they met. It might have been a misunderstanding, but one that led in bickering that eventually led to the two pressed against each other in the closet at a mutual friend's Christmas celebration-- to the surprise of literally no one. It all started when one best friend of one lover decided to date the other best friend of the other lover. These lovers decided to bring their friend group together, excited for the pair to meet.

Big mistake.

One misunderstood compliment got taken the wrong way, causing a chain reaction of a back and forth ping pong match in creative insults while their friends all watched until they got tired. And it stayed that way for three months. Three! Because they're both two sides of stubborn. One, outright stubborn and refusing to be the first to apologize. The other? Recognized the first was being stubborn so intentionally kept goading until they had to be separated so as not to come to blows.

It got to the point where their friends expected something to be utterly wrong when they weren't slinging insults at each other. But they dared not point out things like when one was missing, the other would inquire and maybe send a sweet text message to check in (followed by an insult, naturally).

Three long months until they fully reverted back to the high schoolers they were playing out to be by re-enacting Seven Minutes in Heaven. And maybe their friends weren't surprised but the rapid loss of clothes definitely had a few disgusted.

That was almost 7 years ago. Now? They're in this thing full swing. Much to the chagrin of their tortured friends. Kisses and cuddles, petty fights and wise cracks. Are they even married? No, but they might as well be. Their friends are exhausted. One glimpse into their lives and everyone might feel their pain.

"You're being so unfair!" Jimin whines. The pout™ comes next, followed by the flailing limbs.

Except Yoongi's not giving in. Nope. Not this time. This time, Yoongi comes prepared for the epic Park Jimin meltdown™ and preemptively looks at his phone. Nothing but his phone.

Feet stamp the floor, little fists are balled, arms flail but Yoongi won't look up.

The whining gets louder, more paced. He knows what might be next.

And sure enough, like clockwork, Jimin spreads his body out across the couch, pushing at Yoongi's thigh with his cartoon socked feet.

"And you're not even listening to me! You're the worst lover ever. I want a divorce right now!" He demands in full whine.

Yoongi sighs but doesn't look up from his phone. If he makes eye contact, it's over. He has to keep his resolve.

"We're not married yet..." he starts but Jimin huffs, then whines and pouts while pushing his feet against Yoongi's thigh again.

"Because I won't marry you because you're taking too long to propose, by the way, and you're an awful, terrible, meanie boyfriend and that's why we're divorced." Jimin logic™.

Yoongi tries not to break but the smirk threatens to show itself. It's a very fine line. If he shows too much, the pillow against his head might come next. If he doesn't show enough, Jimin might do something even more rash. But, like Goldilocks, if he's just right in his manner, this whole thing could blow over in a few minutes. Then Yoongi will pepper him with sweet kisses and cuddles and Jimin will have forgotten all about it. And Yoongi's a patient man. He thinks he can hold out for a few more minutes.

He can't let an opportunity like this go, though. "Park Jimin, you could always propose to me, huh! I deserve to be romanced too."

Jimin swats at him playfully, face scrunched in contempt. "I want my fairy tale, Min Yoongi! That's what we agreed to and you can't take back what you- hey!"

Damn. Yoongi thought, surely, this might be just the thing to help move Jimin's mind away from where it was originally. He was hoping to steer him towards a very important topic on his mind.

But before that, part two of Jimin's tactics™. Next thing Yoongi knows, there's ruffling then part of the couch closest to where he's sitting dips.

"Baby," Jimin coos sweetly.

Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact.

"Hmm?"

He feels Jimin's nose nuzzle against his neck. Right in that spot that drives him mad. Jimin's pulling out all of the stops.

"Chubs...?" It's just as sweet but laced with something a bit more impatient. He wants Yoongi's eye contact.

But he can't give it. He must not give in.

So he grunts instead. Intelligently. And he swears he can hear Jimin growl at this.

"Don't you love me?" Jimin tries, just so sweet.

Yoongi nods. "With all my heart." And he keeps scrolling on his phone.

He hears Jimin coo. Can tell as he straddles Yoongi's lap that he's preening from the admission.

"Remember that thing I did last night? You really liked that, I could tell." And he's definitely not playing fair.

But Yoongi can't say he's too surprised by this offensive. He knows his boyfriend after all. Seven years. Two (ridiculously) teetering the lines of friendship, then five officially together will do that.

He feels the hand holding his phone being moved then connecting with Jimin's soft, pillowy lips. Jimin places the phone gently on the coffee table, then proceeds to plant delicate kisses on each finger tip. It's so nice. Such a sweet baby he has. Except he's not. He's a full menace.

Yoongi finds a focal point as Jimin's cute little nose rubs against Yoongi's palm. When that doesn't seem to stir Yoongi too much, a soft kiss goes to Yoongi's wrist then the back of his hand. Kisses trail up to his neck. To that same spot Jimin knows is bound to land results.

"There's so much more where that left off. I've been reading up on some new things we could try that I think we both might like..." He whispers in a singsong voice.

Now he's nibbling at the lobe of Yoongi's ear and Yoongi can tell he's grinning. Can tell Jimin is really going to lay it on thick. Can tell he's going to try to work every single angle of cute until Yoongi folds.

He even goes so far as to place Yoongi's free hand on his ass. Holding it there until Yoongi complies, giving it a squeeze. He can feel the way Jimin's body responds. Hears the way Jimin reels once again.

If Min Yoongi were a lesser man, he might crumble. But he is not the inexperienced boyfriend to the force that is Park Jimin. No, indeed, he could write a book on how to survive Park Jimin's wicked ways.

Okay, while he may not be a lesser man, he's still a man with a hand on the very nice and supple ass of his love. So yes, he finds himself massaging and patting Jimin's ass appreciatively while Jimin continues his ministrations, sweet kisses all around his face.

Unbeknownst to the pair, a passerby happens upon them and starts observing two lovers in their natural habitat.

"Ahh yay! Love! On my first outing! This is nice." The fae peaks, squealing, bouncing up and down excitedly while swooning affectionately.

It must be his lucky day! First official day on the job, he'd completed his first assignment and in a timely manner, too. It wasn't the biggest task. Merely tasked with exploring the human realm and finding the joy of a child.

He hadn't realized just how fast and absurd some parts of the human world could be. He made sure to take copious notes though, just like he was trained! He's supposed to report back but along the way, he gets the pleasure of seeing two lovers, entangled in sweet embrace. Lucky day, indeed!

He knows he should get back very soon. He's got a lot to report and the pixies are throwing a party that's the talk of all the realms. His outfit's been hanging on the side of his bed all day (of course, he won't admit that if anyone asks). Yet he can't help but to bask in his first encounter of love in the human realm. Maybe, just maybe, this might just be a prosperous venture that could lead to a fast promotion!

He's known of one other who got promoted within their first two weeks but nothing this fast! This could set a record if he plays this right. And even if he decides to leave the lovers be, it's enough just to be able to take in this sight for the very first time in his entire fae life.

Love is so beautiful!

"Jimin-ah," he sees the brown haired, gruffy-sounding, cat-looking human say. Odd, how he doesn't seem to look his lover in the eye. But hearing the inflection of this human's tone, he can tell just how much love bounces from his timbres.

He swoons at how he's been trained to pick up on these things. He wasn't the top of Cupid's class for nothing, okay? But none of that beats firsthand field experience. He can't wait to add this to his report to his superiors!

The other, with wild hair like the sun, straddled across cat-faced human, seems to perk up. "Yes, baby?"

The cat-faced human looks fairly young, judging by his dumpling-like face but he doesn't look like much of a baby. The fae remembers studying human babies. These two don't appear to be the tallest humans but the cat looking human is surely bigger than a baby. Though, from looking at footage of babies and meeting one earlier, this human surely seems to pout like one.

But then a thought comes to him. He remembers something from just before he entered the human realm.

"That's right!" he tells himself.

In his Human Colloquialisms and Terminologies course, he learned this could be considered an affectionate term for lovers. He coos, wanting nothing more but to delve further into this sweet, intimate display of love. How grand and blessed is he to witness this firsthand!

And so he goes back to observing this adoring pair. He loves love. Spent so much time studying it. And now, here it is! He aspires to be a prominent recordkeeper for all things love, especially in the human realm, as he's heard it's been a rarity at times. He starts envisioning his life where he's regaling in his journey of how he was witness to human love on his first day.

"No matter how much you bat those pretty, puppy eyes, you're not getting the remote." The cat-faced human says, dully.

This causes the other human, who seems to look more like a duckling than a puppy if he were to say, to shriek and so the poor fae has to cover his little ears and duck against the window sill, clearly snapped out of his reverie.

When he looks back up, the duckling-faced human is wailing on the cat-faced human with a pillow and his tiny fists of fury. And to the fae's surprise, the cat human seems to be laughing. This makes no sense!

"You are the worst, most awful, most... most... poopheaded boyfriend ever. That's it! I mean it this time. I want a divorce. You're so mean! I'm gonna call you Mean Yoongi from now on!"

Oh no! Not a divorce. That's an awful word, according to The Fae Guide to Human Emotions book the fae's painstakingly memorized.

"Says the person who just tried to manipulate me with sex. Just admit you're a brat and go, Park Jimin."

"You knew I was a brat the moment you met me, Mean Yoongi."

"I know, and I've been ruing the day ever since." Oh no. Not ruing! The fae clutches at his chest. He can't be witness to ruing already!

"Hyung, stop being like this!" Duckling human whines.

Cat human rolls his eyes. "We do this every week, Jimin-ah. It's my turn this week, fair and square."

Well, if it's fair and square, then it's fair and square, the fae reasons.

Of course, he hasn't seen whether or not they pinky promised. Because then, that's entirely binding. No going back on that.

"But I want to watch Titanic!" Duckling human whines.

Cat human rolls his eyes again. His mouth seems to poke out in a pout again. "We literally watched it last week! And it was still my turn for movie night and you still got your way."

Then he turns on a giant black box. If memory serves correctly, this is one way humans find entertainment. Through moving pictures. Pretty, bright lights and boxes with words in different shapes and colors show up on the screen.

The cat-faced human's hand seems to be pointing at the box and moving the pictures.

The fae gasps. He didn't know humans used such magic here in this realm. A second later reveals perhaps it is not magic but something the human possesses in his hand that changes the pictures.

"You pick boring movies, hyung! I don't wanna watch sci-fi!" The duckling faced one whines more.

"You don't even know what I'm going-" before he can continue, the duckling faced human lets out some kind of battle cry that sounds more like a duck squawking, then moves from straddling to lunging towards the cat-faced human's outstretched hand.

They tussle a bit for this item and the duckling human successfully takes it after biting the cat-faced human. Oh no! This is awful. Whatever this object is must be cursing them!

He's not sure what kind of magic it carries but it's fast acting so he, too, must be fast acting! He just wants to get the blasted thing away so they can go back to being loving towards each other.

The duckling-faced human changes the pictures to something else but then gets scooped from behind at the waist by the cat-faced human. Duckling human squeals as cat human lifts him then wheezes, tumbling towards their seating apparatus. In a gravity-defying display of acrobatics, duckling human manages to maneuver his body around to cat human's back. But cat human now has the picture changer. There's snarling, screeching, maybe even a few more battle cries as the picture keeps changing rapidly. This is absolutely dreadful!

"Jimin... ow! You're fighting dirty!" Yoongi shrieks, yet he's still chuckling as Jimin pulls Yoongi's hair while trying to lean over him to grab the remote again.

They're so ridiculous sometimes and Yoongi loves everything about them.

Jimin keeps giggling while hanging his body over Yoongi's back. Yoongi uses his long arms to his advantage while Jimin pushes his legs against the back of the couch to gain momentum as he tries reaching for the remote again. They keep going back and forth changing through different categories and the next thing they know, black.

Everything fades to black.

The device drops to the floor.

And well, to say the fae is shocked is an understatement. He'd been aiming his wand directly at the rectangle-shaped device between the lovers' hands. He figured that was the source of their curse and if he could easily eradicate it, they'd return to loving each other! The fighting was becoming feral and the longer he waited, the worse it was!

But he's never had to rush his magic so fast. And naturally, that caused his little body to feel a bit out of sorts. So of course, he hadn't anticipated sneezing right at the moment he let his magic free. Which caused the magic to miss the device entirely, catching the lovers instead.

And that's the story of how the two human lovers he observes end up sent to a realm inside the giant black box called, "Disney."

Chapter Text

It's pitch black. Yoongi feels like he's been hit with the worst hangover in the history of hangovers.

Except that can't be right. He’s never hungover.

So what in the entire world is this feeling?

He groans to himself, feeling both encouraged and dismayed by the sound of his own voice. Trying to orient, he does a mental body check. Head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Toes.

His toes feel disconnected somehow. His legs definitely wobbly. His center of gravity shaky. Almost like he's-

But his thoughts are interrupted by a giggle. He knows that giggle. That's the giggle of love.

Okay so maybe his fuzzy head makes him all sappy but it doesn't matter.

"Jimin-ah!" He hears himself rasp loudly. But his voice sounds hollow somehow. Another giggle. "Park Jimin, I know the sound of that giggle anywhere. Yah! Why can't I see? What's going on?"

He goes to wiggle his body and once again confirms his legs feel a bit loose. Almost like he's upside down.

What the-

He tries again to right himself. It's almost like his upper half is sucked into something. Is he upside down?

"Jiminie!? What's going on? I can't... I can't see!" He wiggles again and this time he hears Jimin break out into a guttural laugh.

He wants to yell and wag a finger at him but he soon realizes his arms are restrained. Before he can panic, he feels a hand on his ankle.

Which obviously causes him to panic before he hears, "that's because you're stuck in a tree stump, doofus. Hold still."

In a split second, Yoongi finds himself trying to recall what went down right before he woke to darkness.

Okay, so there was movie night. Right. Got it. As per usual, Jimin was being a brat. Typical, what else is new? And then they were wrestling over the remote control because Park Jimin is a cheater and...

Tree stump?!

Another second or so later and before he can voice that, his body's being pulled backwards. There’s a loud thunk.

When his eyes finally adjust to light, he sees a horizon. It's pretty, vast, there looks to be a large chateau or castle.

How much did he drink last night?

Wait, he didn't even have a drink last night...

Yoongi goes to rub his eyes but in a split second, sees his hands.

He blinks. Blinks again.

Okay, maybe he's asleep and this is one of those trippy vivid dreams again. It's almost as if his hands are distorted somehow. Maybe the blood still needs to sort itself out from rushing to his head too fast and that's making his vision weird.

"Oh, believe me. It's real. You're not sleeping. You're not drunk." He hears from Jimin who seems to always be a mind reader... or Yoongi's just that predictable with his perpetual states of confusion.

He turns, slowly. Eyes closed tight, trying to will things back to some level of homeostasis.

See! This is exactly how he knows maybe his brain’s a bit rattled because he's making references of Namjoon nerd stuff he for sure knows he tuned out.

It's okay. It's going to be okay. He takes a deep breath. Settles in his own orienting, just about to bring a smile to his face when he opens his eyes and sees Jimin.

Then, naturally, he proceeds to yell, flailing his arms and throwing his center of gravity off again.

Yoongi almost goes tumbling back, tripping over a giant (and conveniently placed) tree stump when two strong hands reach out and grab him.

Jimin's grinning. And he knows that grin. That toothy smile that rivals the sun itself. But this is different. No, this is entirely not the same. Because... because...

"Jimin, you're animated." Yoongi observes flatly. He rights himself, stepping out of Jimin's arms to survey things.

Before him, an animated version of the man he loves. Still wearing the rubber duck pajamas from their movie night. Hair still bright like everything else about him. But animated.

Very, very animated.

He looks at his own hands but then feels his body being pushed beyond the tree stump. He's sputtering, wanting to ask Jimin what he's up to when he's bent over towards a puddle. Looking at his own reflection, his eyes go comically wide.

Springing up, he looks at cartoon Jimin again before gaping, "I'm animated." He sees the grin spread further across Jimin... well, cartoon Jimin's face. "We are animated."

The shock seems to settle into his body. He grabs Jimin's shoulders. "Jimin, we're animated."

Jimin, well Jimin animation, chuckles. "Yes, Chubs. I heard you the last 27 times you said it. You look cute." And he giggles again.

Okay. So this Jimin still calls him by that insufferable (secretly endearing) nickname and he's still a smart ass. Got it.

This is good. Good to know. Yoongi feels like he's getting somewhere.

His legs start to wobble under him so Jimin leads them both to sit on that infernal tree stump.

Sensing Jimin observe his internal monologue, Yoongi asks the only smart question he can think of right now. "Baby," he says, intelligently. "So when we had dessert... and you insisted on putting brownies in your ice cream, are you absolutely sure they weren't the ones you got from Taehyung that one time?"

Jimin swats at Yoongi before rolling his eyes. "Cut that out, hyung! He apologized. You just can't let it go. And no, hyung. We aren't high. We aren't sleeping. We're not drunk either."

"That's exactly what a high, drunk, dream version of you would say." Yoongi retorts before ducking as Jimin swats at him again.

"Fine, then since you seem so sure, what's your explanation for all of this, hmm?" Yoongi goads and Jimin rolls his eyes again.

At least Yoongi likes to be rooted in logic and practicality. Let's see what smart pants Park has to say to this one.

"We got sucked through the television."

Yoongi stares at Jimin. Jimin stares back. So Yoongi stares some more. And Jimin sees his staring and raises him staring.

There's a face that Yoongi makes. Apparently Jeongguk and Taehyung call it "Hyung's deadpan face". And right now, Yoongi's sure he's making said deadpan face.

Jimin huffs. "Don't look at me like that, I'm being serious."

Contempt spreads across Yoongi's face. "I ask you if we ate Taehyung's death brownies or if I'm sleeping or hungover and I'm not being serious but you're sitting here with the straightest face right now telling me we're animated versions of ourselves because we got sucked into a TV?"

"Yes." Jimin answers plainly. "I was alert this whole time, Yoongi. We were fighting over the remote control and you were losing, by the way," of course he tries to throw a dig in there, "and then this light came out of nowhere and boomed us through the television. I landed right there," he points to a pretty patch of soft flowers, then continues, "gracefully, might I add," and Yoongi scowls only to be met with Jimin giggling. "And you, got stuck upside down in the tree trunk."

Right. Because this makes all logical sense.

"Chubs!" Jimin whines, pouting.

And even animated, Yoongi wants to kiss that pout away. Except it looks that much more like a duckling or baby chick than ever before.

Typically, Yoongi would keep these things to himself. But not when animated. Because he sees something lingering over his head. Hears Jimin laugh then proceeds to fall backwards on the stump, as Yoongi looks up.

"Seriously?" He asks, completely over it.

There are actual animated hearts and stars floating over his head.

"You're such a sap, hyung. Oh this is gonna be so much fun!" Jimin squeaks in mirth. "Look at your rosy cheeks!" He coos, trying to squish Yoongi's face as he rights himself again.

But Yoongi's quicker and bats his hand away. "Jimin-ah, you're telling me we got sucked into a television. There's nothing fun about this. How aren't you freaking out?"

Jimin's head tilts, contemplating. "Well, getting sucked into that vortex was a bit weird and scary at first but then I saw you stuck in that tree stump and I couldn't stop laughing, hyung. I wish I had my phone or some kind of camera. It was priceless."

Unimpressed, Yoongi sighs. "Ha. So glad to know my misfortunes amuse you, Park Jimin. Need I be the mature one here and remind you that if I actually do believe this isn't some weird acid trip or dream, we apparently got sucked through a television and have no way of getting out! We're not meant to be animated, Jimin-ah. We're not supposed to be sucked through a television!"

At this, Jimin's now crossing his arms, huffy once more. "Well, what do you want me to do? Lose it and that gets us where, hyung? You asked what happened, I told you what happened. Don't grump at me."

Yoongi's pouty baby. "Aww baby, come here. Hyung is sorry. I'm just... really, really trying to make sense of all of this." And he offers to give Jimin kisses. But his baby is stubborn so he turns away.

When Yoongi makes kissing noises, they turn into animated lips and start floating in Jimin's direction. Jimin giggles, rolling his eyes affectionately.

"This is so bizarre." Jimin shares, still chuckling. He stands and Yoongi joins. "That's your problem, hyung. You always want to make sense of everything." He teases. "Maybe... maybe the point is none of this should make an ounce of sense and we just... have to go with it?"

That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever but Yoongi won't voice that. Judging by Jimin's narrowed eyes, it's already been exposed on Yoongi's face in some animated way.

Taehyung's always encouraging him to look at the brighter side of things. Not like they have many other options. So... they've somehow been sucked into a television. It doesn't sound any less outrageous every time he hears himself.

But, at least they're alive, right? And they're together. And if he's being quite honest, animated Jimin is adorable. He takes Jimin's hand and smiles gently.

"I have no idea what this is but I know you, Duckie. And I trust you. And there are literal wheels turning in the middle of your forehead right now." He adds, chuckling. "So what are you thinking?"

Jimin smiles brightly. "Okay so... I was thinking maybe it's like one of those video games or movies where you have to follow a path to get out?"

An hour ago, Yoongi didn't think it was literally, physically possible to get sucked into another dimension through a television. So, why not go with Jimin's theory?

"Okay..." he thinks, "so if your theory is right, where to?"

Jimin points towards the horizon, the chateau or whatever that big building might be. "Well, seeing as this area kind of just ends abruptly and that one has a path, maybe that way."

"Please repeat this one more time..." a strained voice requests, rubbing hands through their hair.

"I wrapped up my mission and took a breather. Just a quick breather, nothing too bad, you see..." He's being signaled to continue. "Right, so I happened upon a lovely couple. And they were displaying human love! And the one human says he will not let the other human have this and that it was his right, as was fair. Granted, I had not witnessed a sealing of the terms but then they began to quarrel over this here," The fae offers, raising the rectangular device.

When the lovers disappeared... alright, so technically it's breaking and entering and even fae and fairies have laws about that, but he knew he panicked plus he knew he'd have to get this to one of his superiors right away.

"It appears to be the source of the curse. I can't quite feel magic in it though but I attributed that to its origin from the human realm."

The superior contemplates. "I don't sense a curse from this device." Solemnly, they lower their head. "Perhaps it is of an older magic than even I'm familiar."

The fae slumps his shoulder. He was hoping that if anyone knew, it'd be this superior.

"However," superior continues, "I sense the essence of the humans you described. It seems the magic agreed. Perhaps they were in a dire situation, a most egregious state, as it were."

The fae's eyes widen almost comically. He knew it! He could just sense he needed to intervene quickly.

"It would appear the fates have chosen to assign them to the highest of ranks."

Gasping, the fae steps back in shock. "You don't mean-"

Nodding, the superior confirms exactly what he's been thinking. "It would appear they've been sent to test their worth before the Queen Superior."

Wheezing, Yoongi leans over against a tree, catching his breath. "Who decided structurally that it was a good idea to put a castle on the top of this hill/mountain thing? This makes no s-"

He stops himself after Jimin shoots him a glare. Gulping, Yoongi fans himself, muttering under his breath about how animation could've at least given him some stamina.

They continue up the winding path as Yoongi complains about it.

"I'm just saying, I think whoever went through the effort of making us animation (because that doesn't sound strange, at all) should've just added a little bit more to you back there. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, might as well."

Jimin rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time. "Hyung, you can't be like this in a cartoon."

Yoongi scoffs. "Says who? All of the anime you watch are my proof. Wow, now I'm imagining you as an anime and..."

His own words cut off when they finally reach a flat clearing that leads to some kind of courtyard.

"Water!" Jimin says, relieved to see a well.

Yoongi grabs the younger's wrist before he can take off running. "Maybe we should figure out where we are before you touch anything, love."

It may be a cartoon but Min Yoongi will always appeal with practicality and logic. Jimin smiles softly but nods.

"Okay..." Yoongi hums, slow and exaggerated. "Do we need an invite or just waltz in? This doesn't look like a horror but..."

Jimin frowns, shuddering at the idea of them being trapped in some kind of horror. He's really not sure what to do at this point but figures they might as well continue along the path. Maybe it's like The Wizard of Oz and they're meant to follow the yellow brick road... or in this case, cobblestone.

Walking ahead, there's (naturally) a conveniently opened door, leading inside the castle. Jimin steps towards the door but gets pulled back quickly.

"Duckie, wait. We don't know who lives there. Don't just go walking in someone's random and conveniently placed open door to a big, ominous animated castle!"

There's no other way to describe this but absurdity.

"Hyung, you just said to figure it out and we agreed we would stick together and be a team, right? And you told me you'd trust me. So let's see where this leads and if I'm wrong, we run for our lives out of this door."

Skeptically, Yoongi grabs Jimin's hand again, nodding with motion for the younger to continue. He steps inside and Yoongi follows after finding and picking up a rock.

When they're both in, he breathes relieved. "Well, that part's over and we're aliv-"

His words are cut off by the sound of an orchestra blaring from who knows where and Yoongi immediately lets go of Jimin's hand, stepping in front with his fists up, ready to swing.

Chuckling, Jimin shakes his head, endeared. "My hero," he teases, moving by boxer ready Yoongi.

Perhaps it could be the fact that they're in some kind of animation but the music doesn't actually sound like it's coming from the castle.

A choir quickly follows the orchestra and all sass and color leaves Yoongi's face.

"No," is all Yoongi utters.

"What?" Jimin looks around confused.

Yoongi seems to be listening out for something as the music continues on but he keeps walking so Jimin follows, eyeing his boyfriend closely.

A corridor seems to light up so Jimin grabs Yoongi's hand, heading in that direction. They're still walking when the music changes, causing Yoongi to stop.

His eyes are wide and Jimin's trying not to panic. "Dear God, no."

"What, Yoongi, what?!" Jimin continues looking around but there's just a corridor and that music.

Scowling, or as best as an animated Yoongi can, he points an accusing finger at Jimin. "You did this to us, you insufferable brat! When we get out of here, you owe me all the foot massages, Park Jimin!"

Perplexed but also taken aback by the accusations, Jimin scrunches his face. "I didn't do anything!" He argues, a bit petulantly.

"Yes you did! I can't believe this. It makes total sense though." Yoongi groans, muttering nonsense to himself as he paces back and forth.

Jimin's scowl remains. "Yoongi, what are you even talking about? What makes total sense? What are you trying to say I did?"

"I'm not trying to say anything, Park Jimin. I'm telling you that you got us stuck in a Disney movie!"

Jimin really, truly wants to laugh. But he also has so many questions. And he definitely can't let Yoongi have the last word.

He may be baffled, can even see the question mark over his head but he remembers his focus.

"A Disney movie? What are you talking about, hyung? How do you even know?"

Yoongi scoffs. "I just know." And Jimin shoots a smirk towards him but before he can respond, Yoongi takes his hand. "I'll prove it. Come with me."

Yoongi grumpily leads him up a winding flight of stairs before they come in front of a nook in another corridor. In the nook, lit by some unseen light, a book sits, pages turning themselves.

Jimin has just enough time to read: "Each day, the vain Queen consulted her Magic Mirror..." before being dragged by a muttering Yoongi.

He gasps, giggling to himself. And when Yoongi turns with a grimace, he tries to recover by covering his grin. But he can't help himself and ends up squealing. "I love this one, hyung!"

"You've never even seen this one."

With a challenge, Jimin responds with, "oh, but I suppose you have?"

"You don't get to distract me with your sarcasm and wild accusations, Park Jimin. We need to figure out how to get out of this."

Grinning widely, Jimin dances on the balls of his feet. A fairy tale. They're in an actual animated fairy tale. This is so strange and bizarre but also, Jimin's in a fairy tale!

He giggles when he sees Yoongi's less than enthused expression. "Oh! Oh maybe this is like Kingdom Hearts or something, hyung, and we have to go on an epic journey and find stuff!"

Groaning, Yoongi runs his hands down his face slowly. "Are you sure?" He asks after a while.

"No but what do we have to lose?" Jimin shrugs, still smiling.

Yoongi holds his hand out and squealing excitedly, Jimin grabs it. Even though Yoongi groans, he shakes his head and grins, endeared. "Come on, you terror. Let's get this over with."

"Where are you going? How do you know this?" Jimin asks, being led down a corridor.

"These plots are all the same, Jimin-ah. So is the animation. You just literally follow where the lights lead."

Sure enough, Yoongi leads them to a dark room set up like an amphitheatre. A figure with a long cape stands in front of a giant mirror and Jimin gasps. He goes to cover his mouth while Yoongi looks ahead both in disbelief and boredom but the figure doesn't seem to flinch as she climbs towards the mirror before she chants, "slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space..."

Jimin gasps again but it's cut off by a snort to his left. "I mean the outfit is nice but up close like this, they could've given her a better makeup job." Yoongi sasses, loudly.

"Yoongi!" Jimin whisper yells. But this doesn't seem to impact the Queen as she continues on.

Rolling his eyes, Yoongi plops on a chaise, patting the space next to him so Jimin can sit too. "Baby, I'm pretty sure we're just stuck here as spectators. Watch."

"Regina was better! Regina is the only evil Queen we recognize!" Yoongi yells as the Queen beckons the mirror to find the fairest.

A wind picks up at the Queen's summons and they definitely feel it. All the more proof for Jimin to leap and cover his love's mouth but Yoongi keeps going undeterred. "Why do they make all of these stepmothers so twisted and jealous?"

Flustered, Jimin sits next to his lover. "Behave, hyung! You can't just go yelling things in the middle of a fairy tale!"

Yoongi tilts his head up in the cutest way and Jimin just wants to kiss him. "Why not?"

"Because it's a fairy tale! It's Snow White, hyung!"

Waving Jimin off, "please. This isn't even the real story. You know how twisted these tales are? First of all, there's something not so underlying about all of this emphasis on her skin being white as snow and that qualifies her as fairest and not to mention, the real story is so much more twisted. The queen tries to kill her with a corset, Jimin-ah. A corset. But then some random prince comes and it isn't even a kiss that revives her. Some clumsy servant drops her and it dislodges the apple in her throat. Namjoon could've done that job! And then-"

He looks up in mid rant to be met with a pouty, huffy Jimin. Raising his hands in surrender, he shrugs. "I'm just saying."

"You're such a killjoy, Min Yoongi." Jimin humphs before stomping off.

"Baby, come back! Hyung didn't mean to make you frown, let me kiss it!" Yoongi pleads, chasing after him.

They both halt to the sound of chirping and humming. Against his better judgement to admit Yoongi may have a point, he follows the newly lit path that takes them down a flight of winding stairs. Yoongi close on his heels. The lighting leads to a room with a conveniently opened balcony.

Jimin makes it out on the balcony that looks out into the same courtyard they first entered.

Jimin's eyes bug out when he sees Snow White there at the well, singing. "Hyung, it's her! It's her!" He squeaks, tugging at Yoongi's arm.

He snorts when he sees the side eye Yoongi gives. They watch as she sings into the wishing well. Yoongi covers his ears complaining about the octaves and then as someone jumps over the wall, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Jiminie, I know you love these sentimentalities but even you have to admit that's just creepy. And I'm pretty sure he's actually gay, baby."

Jimin doesn't fight the giggles that escape at his boyfriend's commentary but still swoons watching the Prince and Snow White interact. As she runs inside the same way they did, she makes it to the balcony right next to theirs.

When she finally shows herself on the balcony, doves fly everywhere and one lands right on Yoongi's head. As she's being serenaded, Yoongi's fighting with a dove while Jimin keels over laughing.

"I can't take this anymore." Yoongi says after winning his match with the dove.

But Jimin is too touched, swooning at the moment while Yoongi looks on at it and him, in horror. He looks up and the Queen being even more creepy than the prince makes him shudder before returning back to what's in front of him.

The dove that got tangled in his hair makes its way over towards Snow White and she sends it towards the Prince. As the dove seems to blush, Jimin coos. "See hyung, she just wanted a k-"

Jimin turns just in time to see Yoongi trying to jump from the balcony. Shrieking, he pulls at his boyfriend. "Yoongi, what are you doing?! This is a child's movie!"

Yoongi rolls his eyes. "I wasn't gonna end it all... though, with those voices, it's tempting." To this, Jimin crosses his arms in admonishment.

Feeling admonished, Yoongi clarifies, "I just wanted to stick my head in that well and see how long I could hold my breath so I don't have to keep being assaulted with this madness."

As they move along the castle where the Queen plots to have Snow White killed, then to the meadow where Yoongi complains about how grating her voice is, they still have yet to figure out what they're meant to do. So they decide to keep following the trail.

Snow White runs through the woods. On one side, things around her look scary and dark. But from their angle, they see how she spooks herself every time even the smallest breeze picks up.

The animals are really more spooked by her flailing than they are trying to spook her. Some bats fly into her because they're trying to escape from this screaming, flailing human. But where Yoongi and Jimin are walking, it's just a clear path.

Yoongi rolls his eyes at all of the screaming and crying. "This is so dramatic."

Then she's talking to which Yoongi grumbles. "Is she just going to talk in rhyme this whole time?"

"Says the person who just rhymed." Jimin retorts, thickly with sass.

And Yoongi almost feels for the animals until they’re at the cottage. "Jimin, they're literally accessories to breaking and entering." To which Jimin laughs but pulls Yoongi along.

They peak into a window and see she is now cleaning. "There's a lot to be said about this woman just inviting herself into someone else's home, making up her own story about the people living here and then deciding what she wants to do with it. The audacity."

"Hyung!" Jimin chides, smirking. Even if Yoongi's making points, Jimin refuses to let him have that.

Except then Snow White refers to the people in the home as children. "Technically, we could blame the writers but either way, this is so problematic, baby. She's got something against little people."

Jimin turns, cupping Yoongi's face. Yoongi smiles gently, surprised by the gesture. "It's a cartoon, you soul sucker!" He whines, grabbing Yoongi's chin.

As the cleaning continues, an open clearing leads to a path that seems to head towards a mountain. They follow a rhythmic melody about digging and Jimin starts skipping towards some kind of shaft. He's surprised he hasn't heard much fuss from Yoongi when they head inside.

He finds out soon enough that Yoongi's busy trying to pocket crystals and gems. Jimin goes to stop him but Yoongi's faster. He gets down on one knee with a diamond in hand. Jimin wants to be both unimpressed and amused. He settles for somewhere in the middle and shakes his head. Yoongi grins at his own foolishness.

"Heigh ho!" Doc chants and Jimin gasps excitedly.

He flails, causing him to stumble back then tumble over a giant rock in the mine. He's stuck and flailing for Yoongi to help but he looks up to see Yoongi actually dancing. Min Yoongi actually wiggling his hips as the dwarfs harmonize.

He even has the nerve to whistle along. Thankfully, Jimin's agility came along with his animation and he's able to wiggle free. Yoongi's having a grand old time when he turns his body to find Jimin locking eyes as he rights himself.

Sheepishly, Yoongi rubs the back of his neck before running over to help. Jimin keeps staring.

"They've got a good work ethic and harmonies," is all Yoongi says to explain himself.

Without a word, Jimin walks away shaking his head and trying to contain the grin. Instead, he keeps walking out of the mine as the dwarfs clean and sing. He sees Yoongi's reluctance out of the corner of his eye so he turns to look at him in challenge.

Typical Yoongi goes back to feigned nonchalance as he walks side by side with Jimin down the mountain, even taking his hand "so you don't trip, love."

They arrive in time for Snow to travel up the stairs and Yoongi's had just about enough after hearing her refer to their names as "funny."

"Yeah, well I don't see anyone breaking their necks to be called Snow White, you snob." He snarks, directly at her and Jimin pulls him back away from the door entrance.

"Hyung, you have to behave! We don't know what consequences this could have!" Jimin warns.

"Notice you haven't disagreed with me, Park Jimin. 'Sides, she can't hear me. I'm telling you, we're just spectators."

"Yeah, but there has to be a reason..."

"It's like you said love, maybe it's not meant to make sense," Yoongi offers.

Jimin smiles, nodding. That reminder feels helpful. Because he realizes that he, too, is trying to make sense of things.

Yoongi pokes his head back in the room to the sound of the chant of Heigh Ho nearing. He pulls Jimin into the room because the animals are now stampeding out of the cottage.

Jimin giggles too, shaking his head in awe. "I can't believe we're right here with Snow White, hyung."

"Yeah well, remember that one Halloween themed party?" Yoongi asks and Jimin nods, smiling at the memory. "Taehyung was a better Snow White." He shrugs, causing Jimin to laugh before covering his mouth quickly so as not to disrupt things.

Yoongi, of course, teases him with a smirk and cock of his eyebrow. "You're being too loud, Park Jimin!" He chides, heading down the stairs.

When dwarfs make their way in to kill the "monster," Yoongi yells, "yes, please do, so you can end my misery."

To which Jimin points directly towards Grumpy, adding, "it's like I'm seeing double right now."

They fuss back and forth over Grumpy being cool until he croans, "she's a female and all females is poison! They're full of wicked wiles."

Yoongi blinks slowly. "Oh wow," he deadpans. "I didn't realize Grumpy was misogynistic."

Even Jimin finally reacts. "Ugh! We don't stan that in this household."

"That's right, baby."

They're about to leave the room when Snow White wakes up and starts speaking again, setting Yoongi off. "Look, I know you love your cartoons but I'm just petitioning for you to pick a different princess, maybe? She's really such an ableist, baby. She doesn't deserve nice things. Look at her being condescending and infantilizing." And then he pouts, disgusted.

Jimin shakes his head, grinning. "Come on, you. You'll find everything wrong now that you have a vendetta against her."

They head downstairs to hear the cauldron boiling over. Yoongi finds a mitt hanging near the cauldron and Jimin looks at him, questioning. He watches Yoongi sniff into the pot, shake his head, then make his way around the kitchen.

"Hyung! Stop that!" Jimin shriek whispers, trying not to laugh.

But it's too late. Yoongi's found fresh herbs and some basic seasonings in a cupboard. "This is an assault to my general nature. I'll bet you one foot massage and a tummy rub that she didn't season this." He's putting little bits of this and that in the cauldron.

Jimin smiles, shaking his head. "I can't believe you seasoned her food." He giggles but really, he can believe it.

"Someone had to, baby. Just trust me on this. You didn't see what was in there."

"How did we get back here?" Jimin asks and Yoongi's equally perplexed as they've segued and heading down a corridor into the dungeon of the castle where the Queen steps in complaining about the pig's heart.

They watch the queen craft her potion and Jimin stares, a bit mesmerized. He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns slightly towards Yoongi while still watching.

"Duckie... I double dare you to take a sip of the leftovers." Yoongi whispers, grinning.

"I'm going to bite you, Min Yoongi," is all Jimin says before Yoongi adds, as the Queen begins her transformation, "come on, Jiminie! I'm sure there's some on the floor."

"Hyung, I'm not drinking from the floor." Jimin laughs before looking scandalized. "What am I saying? Hyung, I'm not drinking that, at all!"

And Yoongi's shoulders bounce when he cracks himself up, pointing at Jimin's face. They segue back and there's a jig playing to which Yoongi doesn't even have the heart to sass.

Instead, he grabs Jimin and invites him to dance. Giggling, they start their own dance party on one side of the room while the others take up most of the other side.

"I’m tempted to bump Grumpy out of the way, so I could play that piano." Yoongi ponders while clapping as Jimin dances solo.

Giggling, Jimin throws his head back and Yoongi can't help but be entranced. He doesn't even care that hearts start swirling around him. After dancing for some time, Jimin seems to notice and takes a seat next to Yoongi before booping his nose then kissing his lips.

"I didn't tell you I loved you today."

"Right! How dare you be late, Park Jimin."

"I love you!"

"I love you most."

Jimin pouts. "Hyung, you cheated!" Finally, Yoongi kisses that pout.

They're cuddled up on a bench together, clapping to the music when Snow White kicks a cymbal with Dopey placing it on his head. They both respond in disgust to what happens next.

"I'm not even sure if I’m excited about this tale anymore!" Jimin huffs.

When they finally reach the point where the Queen heads to the cottage, Jimin and Yoongi are cuddled into each other. They're awakened by Snow White singing and Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"I feel bad for anyone listening to your squawking with headphones on." He groans, hearing Jimin's chuckle.

She finally bites the apple and Yoongi actually rejoices. Jimin swats at him, shaking his head but grinning.

As the dwarfs hold vigil, he and Jimin sit on a log. "Okay, I know I said I would tone the sass down as this seems to finally come to an end but just two more things, Jimin-ah. First, look at how she hasn't even decomposed and we didn't see them embalm her. Like how do they know she's still alive but yet they're too distraught to bury her? Also, did you know someone really entombed their loved one in a glass coffi-"

Yoongi turns at the sound of sniffling. "Jimin-ah?" He doesn't want to worry but Jimin's got an actual puddle of tears at his feet.

"I can't help it, hyung. It's so sad." Jimin sobs softly. Leaning his head against Yoongi's shoulder, he continues to cry as Yoongi rubs his back.

"Baby, we mutually agreed that she's the enemy. We don't cry for the enemy." Yoongi tries. But it all goes right out the window when he's met with big puppy eyes and a very pronounced pout.

Words flash before them as Jimin gathers himself. Yoongi checks to make sure his love is okay. He smiles softly at Yoongi to let him know he is. The prince starts singing and when he appears in the middle of the glen, singing, right in the middle of this vigil, Min Yoongi finally loses it.

He laughs so hard, he falls onto his back. Concerned, Jimin checks to make sure he's okay. He can't even help but join Yoongi in laughing. All of this is really absurd.

After letting that laughter out, and with Jimin's help, he sits back up, still chuckling. "Jimin, he's definitely gay."

Jimin looks back at the serenading prince. "He could be bi." He thinks out loud with a shrug.

Yoongi shakes his head, smirking. "He is very, very gay." He repeats, watching the Prince traipse towards the coffin. It's all fun and games until he leans over, kissing Snow White and Yoongi's downright disgusted.

Jimin turns towards Yoongi, slumped shoulders. "Oh, what now, hyung."

Yoongi immediately puts his hands up in surrender. "All I'm saying is cartoons can get away with kissing people without permission who are presumed dead."

"Gross! Hyung, let me have a moment to just swoon!" Jimin complains both in annoyance and laughter.

He can't even disagree but leave it to Yoongi to bring that to his awareness in Jimin's moment of weakness.

Playfully, Jimin stands pouting and pretends to stomp away.

"Oh no. Baby, wait!" Yoongi pleads, taking off running after him.

As Snow White gets whisked towards the Prince's noble steed, Jimin turns back towards Yoongi, who still chases after him. At full speed, he gets a bit of inspiration and decides, he too, wants to be whisked off. So he does what any normal person would while stuck in a Disney fairy tale, jumps to his unassuming boyfriend, waiting to be caught. Except said boyfriend is still running so everything gets miscalculated.

It really seems to happen in slow motion. Yoongi's eyes widen as he begs for Jimin to wait. Jimin, meanwhile, throws his head back with arms wide open, waiting to be caught. Yoongi, terrified and although he does catch Jimin, is unable to stop. And Jimin has about a split second to celebrate the victory of being caught before he realizes they're still moving.

With arms full of Jimin, Yoongi crashes right into a deer. The deer crashes into another and then the whole domino effect happens until the Prince slams into the horse, dropping Snow White.

Everything stops. But now not only are the animals staring at them, so are the dwarfs, the Prince and Snow White.

"Ha... ha..." Yoongi laughs awkwardly.

He looks down at Jimin. Jimin looks up at him. Jimin has the eek face. So of course, they make it more awkward when Jimin starts doing a princess wave. Why not?

Not to be one upped, Yoongi breaks out into some kind of jig with Jimin in his arms and jigs them towards the pathway meant for Snow White and the Prince.

Chapter Text

Our hapless duo find themselves along further down a winding dirt path but they don't get far...

Because...

Well, because...

"I can't see, hyung! Stop making me laugh!" Jimin pleads, clutching his stomach.

Yoongi looks back in mock horror. "Me? You're the one who keeps falling in giggle fits!"

"I can't help it! You..." Jimin starts again before keeling over for what feels like the millionth time. "You did the most awkward dance I've ever seen in my life! Did you see the way they all stared at us? I've never experienced anything more embarrassing!"

And for all of the walking progress they've made thus far, Jimin finds himself once again on his side, wheezing as he rolls around to catch his breath.

"That's not even true because you dropped food on eomma when you first met her and then there was the time-"

"Yoongi!" Jimin screeches, looking for something to throw.

Yoongi grins, putting his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright, Jimin-ah..." Yoongi placates, while chuckling lightly. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. That princess wave was my inspiration, what can I say?" Smirking and imitating Jimin's wave, he looks around. "Ducks, we should get going to somewhere before the sun sets."

Jimin rolls his eyes at the abbreviated nickname before looking around as well, noticing the sky slowly turn cotton candy shades. "Where even are we headed? I think we broke something, hyung."

"Need I remind you, we're cartoons. We broke a lot of something."

They walk holding hands, Jimin still giggling to himself every now and then, before yet another chateau appears ahead of them but this time, there's a castle in the distance.

"Guess we didn't break things too bad." Yoongi offers with a shrug. "Because we're clearly headed to another movie."

Jimin looks at him quizzically, the question right on the tip of his tongue.

Yet, as soon as he takes another step forward, trumpets blare as ominous music booms from seemingly nowhere. This time, Jimin can't help himself from laughing, watching his boyfriend look around while taking swings at air.

As the chorus erupts in a crescendo of aah's and ooh's, Yoongi stop fighting imaginary villains and his shoulders slump.

"Yeah, we're in another one," he offers, sounding bored yet defeated. "Cinderella." He says so surely, as the sky turns literally from dusk to dawn before their eyes. "How the..."

"Hyung, how do you-" but Jimin's cut off as the chorus literally sings her name.

Jimin eyes his boyfriend suspiciously but Yoongi shrugs, grabbing his hand again before they're walking towards the chateau.

They look around, as they walk further up the path.

Yoongi stops abruptly, a literal light bulb suspending above his head. "Jimin-ah, I've got it!" Yoongi offers, excitedly. Of course, Jimin immediately thinks it'll be random shenanigans. He's right.

"You know how all of these plots aren't the most original, yeah? Well, what seems to make everything right is a kiss. Which, I mean, is pretty dubious, if we're being technical." Jimin's unamused. Yoongi throws his hands up in surrender. "I digress." He admits. "So, obviously, we're together and you love my lips..." Jimin scoffs.

Where is this even going?

Yoongi's eyes brighten as if he's just discovered gravity. "So why can't we just kiss and then ta-da, happily ever after and get us back home?"

He watches Jimin contemplate this option. It makes so much sense. So much so, Yoongi now sports a smug "I'm a genius" smirk, even in animation.

He doesn't want to admit his boyfriend has a point because there will be no living with him but "I mean it makes sense," he finds himself saying.

"Course it makes sense, baby. I'm me." Jimin rolls his eyes. "Now come let me love your lips, please."

Jimin rolls his eyes, unamused.

"I said please?" Yoongi offers, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sighing, Jimin steps closer and Yoongi's then eagerly pulling him into his space, making sure to place his hand on his "favorite place" to which Jimin yet again raises an eyebrow.

"Gotta make sure you don't fall." Yoongi offers, with a squeeze. "It's so soft..." he whispers to himself before leaning in to kiss Jimin.

But at the last second, Jimin pushes away. "Wait! Hyung, wait!"

"Wha?!" Yoongi pouts.

"You can't just dive in there. It's got to be a meaningful kiss, Chubs. True love's kiss."

"Well, I truly love you and I would truly love to leave this place." Yoongi mentions, pulling Jimin in again while puckering his lips.

"Yoongi!" Jimin whines. He's not sure how, but he feels his eyes getting bigger.

He can tell it has an effect on his love, who simply slumps and grumbles against him. Jimin giggles, placing a gentle hand through Yoongi's hair. He can't even describe how it feels real but also not in some way. He feels one hand caressing his back, the other still hasn't left Yoongi's favorite place.

"Hi, beautiful." Yoongi whispers and it sends a chill up Jimin's spine.

They look into each other's eyes. Music and montage, completely forgotten. Even animated, Jimin can feel all of his love pouring into those beautiful, deep eyes.

They lean into each other. Into the familiar warmth and touch. Jimin feels a squeeze of his butt and giggles against Yoongi's lips. Yoongi chases the giggle with a light nibble of Jimin's bottom lip. Pretty soon, they've forgotten about gentle and are pretty much making out (for as much as a cartoon can) clearly forgetting where they are.

A giant clock ringing somewhere in the distance signals them to come up for air, they both blink a few times. They're still animated.

"Ah, well. At least I got good kisses. Might as well just continue where this left off..." Yoongi shrugs, pulling Jimin towards a tree.

Jimin swats at Yoongi. "Tell me you didn't plan that."

Yoongi shrugs again. "50/50, but I get kisses either way, figured why not."

Jimin deadpans before walking away, despite Yoongi's protests to continue where they left off. Because this is them, of course they're bickering as they approach the chateau.

"You tried to have sex in a cartoon!" Jimin argues, flustered as he opens a gate.

"I guarantee you they have sex in cartoons. In fact, you would know."

"Don't make this about me, Min Yoongi! You-" before he can complete that sentence, they're flanked by a barking dog and waddly cat that zooms passed them and out of the gate Jimin was holding open.

"Uhh baby, remember how you asked if we broke something?" Yoongi asks and Jimin nods, still shocked. "I believe this is us breaking something."

"Oh no! Hyung, what are we gonna do? We have to get the cat back!" Jimin panics.

Yoongi looks out at the great expanse that is the backdrop. If it were his cat, he'd probably be devastated. But to look for an animated cat through woods and trails who wasn't supposed to run out in the first place?

"Yeah, no." He answers, to Jimin's whining. "Hey, hey... what I mean is it could take us a long time to even know where to look. At least here, we can assess if there's any damage, yeah? And... and cats are resilient. He'll likely be back before we know it."

He knows he's full of it but Jimin seems to accept this, even though his shoulder droop, lips poked into a pout.

And there's Cinderella, in the flesh, rushing out. "Bruno! No Bruno! Oh dear, where did you chase that cat?"

She runs up to them frantically and Jimin's eyes widen in panic. "Oh! Good sirs!" She curtsies before continuing, "did you, by chance, happen to see a grey cat, about so wide?"

"She's really not going to ask what we're doing on the property? She's really just going to act like we don't look weird and out of-" Jimin cuts Yoongi off with a subtle elbow to the gut (though Yoongi responds not so subtly).

This seems to be what causes Cinderella to tilt her head in question.

"Uhh I..." Jimin starts nervously.

Yoongi, still keeled over, grimacing, points towards where the cat escaped. "There was some noise in that direction, I believe." He says, knowing fully well which direction he saw the cat run.

Jimin whips his head around to him, eyes widened. Before Yoongi can respond, Cinderella yelps.

"Oh I must find him! Please, good sirs, would you be so kind and help me?" She asks, eyes widening.

Impressive. Jimin thinks he should take notes while Yoongi's trying to debate what they should do.

"Well, you see... we uhh..." He looks to Jimin. Jimin looks to him. Jimin gets the eek face again. But this time, Yoongi narrows his eyes.

"No." He mouths, which causes Jimin to pout more. Partly because he sucks at reading lips and partly because even without lip reading, he can tell his boyfriend's not allowing him to be great (by great, he really means his normal awkward self).

Cinderella moves towards the gate in haste when a bell of some kind rings, followed by the shrill of voices beckoning her from inside. She pivots, unsure of what to do next. Eyes frantic, as the demands for her presence increase.

"Sirs, I-" she sighs, defeated, "if I don't find Lucifer..."

"CINDERELLA!"

She huffs, quickly excusing herself before rushing back inside.

"Hyung! We have to help her, she looked so stressed out and it's my fault!" Jimin whines, pleading with an attempt to use the same doe eyes as Cinderella. "Wait..." he pauses. "This is your fault, Yoongi-ah. If you hadn't distracted me."

Yoongi sputters.

"Please, hyungie! We have to help her..." Jimin repeats, petulantly. Then, he attempts to use those eyes once more.

Yoongi frowns. "Baby, what's in your eyes?" And he offers to check by moving closer, trying to blow in Jimin's eyes.

Jimin swats at him, pouting. "We have to help, hyung! We have to fix this."

The pout turns into a real frown and Yoongi's heart crumbles. He hates seeing his baby frown. Resolve crumbled, he sighs. "I mean I guess we can try but baby-"

Jimin's eyes light up and he's about to celebrate when...

"After you atone for your insolence and find my beloved Lucifer, you will have completed washing the windows upstairs and down, the rug in the main hall, clean it and I expect you will have done the tapestries and the draperies, the garden, scrub the terrace, sweep the chimney and the mending and the sewing and the laundry before supper, Cinderella. And when you find Lucifer, give him a bath!"

The door slams as Cinderella returns, broom in hand, frazzled yet quickened in step.

"W-we will help! With looking for your cat!" Jimin offers. "I-I'm really good with cats. And hyu- uhh, Yoongi... looks like one!" He nods, turning to Yoongi for support, who instead looks back to him menacingly.

"Oh please! Oh please! Yes, thank you so much, sirs. I'm Cinderella!" She offers, while they take rushed steps towards the back.

"I'm Jimin and this quiet grump is Yoongi." Jimin introduces with a smile, hearing Yoongi huff loudly.

"A pleasure to meet you both. You said you heard noise in that direction?" She points, with Jimin nodding in confirmation.

They continue speed walking but Yoongi stops. "Wait. What does your cat-"

"Lucifer." Cinderella offers.

"Right, because that's not telling at all." Yoongi mumbles and Jimin shoots him a look. "Uh, what does Lucifer like to eat or does he like treats?" He asks more loudly. "Is there anything like that to entice him to come to a stranger should one of us find him?"

Jimin swoons. His boyfriend, ever the pragmatist.

Cinderella takes a moment to ponder. "He's a... difficult cat... at times" she chooses to say and Yoongi almost snorts. "We may have to outsmart him."

Or grab some of those mice as bait. Yoongi wants to offer but doesn't. So they continue towards the great wide open.

Yoongi watches Jimin easily make friends. His baby's really good with that.

"Oh, I'm full of dreams!" She swoons as the two converse and Jimin joins her encouragingly. "But I was always taught not to speak on dreams, lest they do come true."

"Where I come from," Jimin mentions, "the only dreams you don't tell are wishes... during birthdays when you blow out the candles. But otherwise, how will the dream come true if you don't speak it into existence?"

Cinderella leans over, looking into a tree stump. Why is there always a tree stump? And she ponders more.

"Why, I've never thought of it that way." She notes.

"And your dreams can be so expansive. You don't even have to hold onto to just one, right, hyung?" Jimin asks excitedly.

Yoongi smiles gently, nodding. "Right, my love."

Cinderella swoons. "Is he your true love?" She asks Jimin, excitedly. "Oh, how I have dreamed of finding mine!" She sighs adoringly. "What's it like?"

Jimin blushes, giggling. "We didn't always get along. We argued quite a lot over little things... and sometimes big things. Really, it turns out it was a misunderstanding but he was stubborn and didn't want to admit it."

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. "Oh really?" He asks, in challenge.

"If you wanted to tell the story, you would have, dearest." Jimin grins, through gritted teeth.

"But you're doing such a great job of leaving out key parts, my sweet."

While Cinderella looks to Yoongi, Jimin's behind her mouthing "I will end you!"

And when Cinderella turns back to Jimin, Yoongi smugly mouths "bring it."

"Why, I always thought true love meant being in loving harmony but... you both..." She bites her bottom lip confused and Yoongi snorts.

"It's okay, we don't try to be perfect... some of us more than others..." Jimin eyes Yoongi. Shady. "But we're perfect for each other." Jimin shrugs.

The confusion across Cinderella spreads but she also smiles.

"I mean look at your stepmother. There's no way that was perfect harmony with your father." Yoongi snorts, looking into a bush.

"You know my stepmother and my father?" Cinderella asks, confused.

Uh oh. But luckily, Min Yoongi can be quick on his toes. "Ahh..." he starts as Jimin looks at him with lethal bug eyes. "I just meant based on how she was earlier and I just surmised that must not be the most harmonious circumstance."

Cinderella sighs, nodding. "You surmise, correctly, I'm afraid."

"You seem like a really passionate person, Cinderella. A really hard worker. I bet with your cleaning and organizing skills, you could even start your own business." Yoongi mentions, shrugging.

Cinderella and Jimin both turn, shocked. "M-my own business?" She asks. "But I... my own business..." she repeats, entranced by his words.

"I-I think I see something. Hyung, can you help me? Cinderella, you keep searching there. I'll just go check that clearing and we'll be right back."

He tugs Yoongi along before pulling him down behind a bush. "Hyungie, we... we really goofed." Jimin whispered. "I know we broke things but if we don't fix it, this could get worse! And I'm so confused, is she older than us technically or do we go by her movie age? Should we speak so informally? Should we even be speaking at all. Did we really make this worse?"

"That's why we're looking for the cat, baby." Yoongi answers simply because those questions are a whirlwind.

"I know but hyung you said it, who knows if we'll even find the cat. She needs to be home... soon because-"

Uh oh. That's right. "Someone needs to be there to answer the door and those jerks won't hear it with their music lesson." Crud. Yoongi says, completing Jimin's thoughts.

"Ya know... that was awfully detailed for someone... anyway, yes, if they don't answer the door, they don't know about the ball."

And if they don't know about the ball, Cinderella doesn't go, remains left unsaid.

Yoongi's light bulb flashes again. "Or... we could convince her to go out and live her best life and leave those jerks to fend for themselves." He thinks it's worth the proposal.

"I just have a feeling we'll be stuck here if that happens, hyung." Jimin bites on his bottom lip nervously.

Maybe he has some points. Okay, so thinking like a fairy tale. Yoongi has no idea how to think like a fairy tale. So he offers the next best thing.

"I-I'll go. You keep her distracted. See if you can use your cat whisperer skills to find that cat."

Jimin winks, grinning. "Brought you to me, didn't it?"

Yoongi rolls his eyes. "I can't believe you told Cinderella that I look like a cat. We'll deal with that later. Keep her distracted and I'll go get the letter."

Jimin nods, grinning, before his face sours. "That won't work! She has to get it to her stepmother."

Right.

"Okay, I'll say I'm with the royal guard or whatever and heard noise so I let myself in because I've been ordered by royal decree to ensure all eligible maidens receive the notice... or yeah." He adds, sheepishly.

Jimin coos, wrapping his arms around Yoongi's neck. "Yeah, yeah." Yoongi grumbles, kissing his forehead. "Go and I'll... uhh, pretend I'm not wearing plaid pajamas pants and sound official and stuff."

At least time seems favorable to them because Cinderella cries "Lucifer!" which is just the distraction they need. Jimin takes off running towards her while Yoongi runs in the opposite direction.

As he's making the trek back to the chateau, he's suddenly thinking about time-space continuum.

Like, what if they really altered the timeline so much that the king doesn't even insist on giving a ball?

Or what if the stepmother is so flustered by the loss of Lucifer that she's not busy with the wicked stepsisters?

Or what if Thanos gets ahold of the infinity stone and... wait, wrong plot.

He decides to risk it, considering he's already come all that way. He sneaks into the chateau with the mice scattering but curious.

"Look, I may allegedly look like one but I'm not the enemy. Just trying to help Cinderella. And no disrespect but in my world, you carry disease and cats are great for pest control. But I come in peace, I swear." He even throws up a peace sign for good measure.

The cacophony coming from one of the rooms alerts him and at least he confirms their music lesson happens.

...if you could really call it that.

He can also hear the banging on the door as the courier announces, "is no one home? Open in the name of the king!"

Rushing to the door, he makes it just in time before the courier walks away. "An urgent message from His Imperial Majesty."

"Right... uh, thanks." Yoongi responds, sheepishly, accepting the notice.

He observes the courier's mannerism before adopting them for himself and as the courier turns away, he swipes a second invitation. Clearing his throat, he raises his voice a bit, knowing they can't hear him. "Yah! I shouldn't even give you this thing but Cinderella is my baby's friend now and what he says goes."

Sighing, the climbs the stairs, yelling "open up in the name of the king" to sound more official before he raps on the door loudly but in the same manner as the courier.

Whatever argument is happening in the room, ceases and the piano keys slam loudly as Lady Tremaine growls, "yes!?"

And now, it's time for actor Yoongi's debut. Clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders, he announces in an authoritative tone, "an urgent message from His Imperial Majesty! I was instructed to deliver this to every eligible maiden but as no one was at the door, I followed the sound of this uhh... music less-"

Before he can continue, the door swings open. He adjusts quickly, holding out the notice in the same way as the courier.

"The palace, you say?" Lady Tremaine asks.

Simultaneously, the others in the room, squeal, "from the palace?!" before advancing towards Yoongi in fervor.

I don't get paid enough for this shit.

After the shriek and tussle over the notice, Lady Tremaine reads that there's to be a ball. Yoongi takes his bow.

"I'll see myself out then..." he offers as they fuss over details.

"Well then I need to have this dress taken in!" Drizella complains but Anastasia bumps her out of the way.

"And I need the lining hemmed. Cinderella!" She shrills, making Yoongi cover his ears.

But then a thought causes him to pivot. "Cinderella? Is there one more maiden in this home?" He asks, intentionally.

Despite protesting and widened eyes, Yoongi holds his hand up, ever the figure of authority in plaid pants, "I will be reporting to His Royal Highness of there being potentially three maidens in the house of Tremaine. Please see that she is additionally extended this invitation by order of the Palace. I'll see myself out, good day."

The Lady, ever so graciously curtsies while also narrowing her eyes menacingly.

"Mother! Oh you can't! She mustn't know!" He overhears as he's headed down the stairs.

"Quiet, quiet! That girl will remain a thorn in my side. Come, make haste, we must prepare. I'll need to call for her. We've not a minute to lose!"

Yoongi rushes towards the back of the chateau to exit quickly. He can't risk being seen by Lady Tremaine but he needs to get to Jimin and Cinderella fast.

Wheezing by the time he gets to Jimin and Cinderella, Yoongi keels forward, trying to catch his breath. "I... should really do more cardio... but also, this is a cartoon, why can't I just have unlimited stamina?!"

Jimin rushes to him, patting his back. "Chubs, we found him and he almost came to me but then he saw Cinderella and ran." He pouts.

"We've got an even bigger problem." Yoongi mentions, quickly. "There's to be a ball at the palace, every eligible maiden is requested to attend per the king." He holds out an invitation. "She'll be calling for you. Tell her while you were looking for the cat, a group of couriers found you and gave you this. Otherwise, I don't think she would have told you."

Cinderella's eyes widen. She gathers the decree in her hands. "A ball? Do you really think I could? Why... I-I'd have to find a dress and Lucifer..."

"You don't worry about Lucifer." Yoongi directs, much to Jimin's surprise. "She can't see me so we'll look for him and bring him back while you're preparing. Make sure you slay all of those maidens and have fun." He grins. Jimin blinks, staring incredulously at his boyfriend.

In perfect timing, Lady Tremaine shrills. "Cinderella!"

"Oh I can not thank you enough! I-I'll do my best but I've no intention of killing anyone!"

Jimin snorts, before grinning. "He just means your radiance outshines all others. I bet you'll be so beautiful!"

At their urgency, Cinderella takes off, broom in one hand, invite in the other.

"I can't believe you really told Cinderella to slay, hyung. And you're actually encouraging her to go to the ball?"

"I realized if we're trying to complete the story, up until then she has no reason and they had no intention of telling her. I saw it. So, why not an extra push? Plus, I saw those sisters, Jimin-ah. Their personalities are far worse up close. I hope she stomps those hags."

"Hyung, you can't say- oh my..."

Yoongi freezes. "Park Jimin, what is happening to my leg? I refuse to look down. Because if I look down and I see that cat humping my leg..."

He looks up and both of Jimin's hands are covering his face as he squeaks in laughter. Resigned, Yoongi closes his eyes, sighing, so over it.

"If you ever bring this up again, I'll tell eomma what really happened that night she invited us over."

The entire time Yoongi's walking with a very affectionate Lucifer in his arm (much to his chagrin) Jimin cackles, barely able to keep himself up. Clearly not amused, Yoongi doesn't even wait or care whether or not Jimin catches up.

"Hyung, I can't believe he thinks you're a cat! This is perfect!" Jimin squeals in laughter. "I feel like I should bow out and let you two have your space so I'm not a homewrecker."

He's been at it the entire time they've walked. Yoongi approaches the gate first. He's about to say something when he notices Cinderella sitting on a bench under a giant willow tree.

Lucifer seems to notice the mice and takes off running after them while Yoongi rushes towards Cinderella. Jimin makes sure to close the gate then approaches quickly.

"W-what happened?" Yoongi asks, concerned, looking over the young woman.

"Stepmother... s-she... I had this dress from my m-mother and when I arrived and showed stepmother the notice as you said, she had the dress and cut it into pieces before me then she locked me out of the chateau and said I wasn't to return until I found Lucifer and then I am to clean the mess after..."

Jimin and Yoongi frown. In the background, the mice run around in a frenzy. A horse neighs, spooked by the ruckus and the dog barks from inside.

They have to help Cinderella get to that ball.

Except they're shocked when they hear, "Sir Yoongi, I believe your idea of me finding my own way sounds very reasonable. I've been sitting here thinking a lot on your words and I think I'll make plans to be on my way while they're gone." Cinderella seems to assess the chaos and moves to shoo Lucifer from the mice.

Uh oh. Okay, technically, yes strong independent cartoon who doesn't need a man but also, uh oh.

"This isn't right, you're supposed to be... merciful heavens! What is this mess?" A voice blurts, bringing Jimin and Yoongi's focus back to the bench.

Jimin gasps, eyes widened excitedly. "You're the Fairy Godmother!" He exclaims happily.

She looks up at him, plainly. "Yes, child. And you're making a mess of everything." She says matter of factly, while looking for something up her sleeve.

Jimin looks taken aback and that's quite enough for Yoongi to lose it.

"Yah! You don't get to speak to him like that!" He growls, grimacing.

Jimin pulls at his shoulder, trying to whisper. "Hyung! She's the Fairy Godmother! You can't argue with the Fairy Godmother. That's THE Fairy Godmother."

"Yeah, well anyone rude to you is a no from me, including her, she can bippity boppity kiss my ass." Yoongi says, unimpressed. He'll be damned if someone is disrespectful, especially to his baby.

Jimin's eyes widen and The Fairy Godmother gasps. "Hyung, you can't curse in a Disney movie!"

Yoongi turns directly to Jimin, expression bored yet unyielding. "!@#&$" He says and then frowns, looking at the Fairy Godmother. "Son of a $*)$(^!" He tries again.

"*(&$."

He huffs. "You've gotta be $*(#*@(&^$ kidding me. Censorship? Really? This is playing out that evil capitalist corporation taking over everything a little too well, don't you think?"

"Well, it's rather apparent why you've been sent here. There's a lot left to be desired." Fairy Godmother says, and Yoongi thinks it's dismissive and he's had enough of this whole thing.

"Yeah, well your plots are trash and your universe is not culturally diverse... at all. How is everyone even understanding us when none of your plots are actually in Korean, huh?" to which Jimin gasps with another "hyung!"

"My heavens! In all my years, never have I seen such an atrocity. Is this supposed to be love?" She looks between Jimin and Yoongi. "No wonder you've made such a mess of things. There will be much to improve between you two. I'm not even sure where to start." She tuts.

Jimin's eyes widen as he tries to squeeze Yoongi's shoulder but Yoongi side steps, moving in front of him, protectively. "You know something... you sit up here on your high horse but for someone supposedly magical and an advocate for love, you waited an awfully long time to help Cinderella. Even if we hadn't made a mistake and let the cat out, she still was dealing with years of suffering and you only show up when she's downright humiliated and abused? Excuse me if I don't buy into your $(@#!)#(&."

"Well, you're quite the vocal one. Ahh, here it is. I put it away." She says before making a wand appear. "Where was I? Oh yes. It is time to change this. If love be what the spell befit, then on a journey this pair submit." She recites, waving her wand and sparkles fly.

Jimin looks at Yoongi. Yoongi looks at Jimin. They both turn and look at the Fairy Godmother.

She huffs, impatiently. "It appears your hearts are so out of tune, they are not even touched by magic." She ponders.

"Or, we just don't do things without consent." Yoongi sasses.

"Right. Plainly, the only way to return from whence you came is to see the path through, learn from the grand tales of love and ensure the tale's seen through until the very end. You mustn't interact again. You must be unseen and unheard and most of all, you must figure out the cure to true love in your heart. This disposition just will not fit."

"Is she shading us?" Yoongi asks.

To which Jimin states, "you know, baby it kinda does sound like-"

But The Fairy Godmother interrupts, "go! Go! No time for delay, on this journey you must stay. Make amends if only in your heart. Continue on, from this moment it will start." She points her wand directly to them, magic sparkle flying everywhere.

The ominous chorus returns singing "for it's bippity boppity, bippity boppity, bippity boppity boo!" as they fade into black.

"Jimin-ah!" Yoongi calls out, trying to wiggle free. He's met with a similar giggle from before. "Seriously? Again?"

He's pretty sure he's upside down in something again, judging by the darkness and the fact that his legs seem suspended into nothingness. Calling for Jimin again, he's wondering if his lover's being petty by not helping.

He's able to wiggle from whatever he got stuck in, while frowning. "Jimin-ah, what kind of supportive lover are y-" but he stops himself with a gasp.

Before him, an adorably animated canary with big, doe eyes. Yoongi coos immediately. "Look at my baby! Aren't you just the cutest yellow birdie." He squeals, causing Jimin to blush.

"I don't think you'll say much of the same when you see yourself, hyung." Even as a cartoon canary, Jimin's eyes are filled with mirth.

Yoongi feels insistent dread. Looking around quickly, he sees they're in something where regular day to day items seem life sized. He turns and catches light bouncing from a tiny mirror.

"I told you not to argue with the Fairy Godmother, hyung. Like who does that? She's the Fairy Godmother." Jimin chides.

At the same time that Yoongi finds himself in front of the mirror, he hears a very familiar voice. "Oh! Fauna there you are. Come, come we must make haste. Have you seen Merryweather? Merryweather!"

He's staring in the tiny mirror at a rounder, version of himself. Except he's in blue, he's sprouting wings and a big puffy dress. He's looks back up again in realization.

Jimin coos. "You have the cutest dumpling cheeks though!"

Well, $@#^!

Chapter Text

"I look ridiculous."

For what feels like the thousandth time, Jimin holds his middle, unsure of how anything enters his lungs because he's laughing so hard his body feels frozen.

Min Sourpuss refuses to move from his spot and every time Jimin catches a glimpse of him in that big, foofy dress, he loses it.

"Laugh all you want. It'll only make me sit here that much longer." Yoongi protests in pout.

Jimin also can't take the fact that he's been a pouty baby while sitting on an actual spool of thread.

Finally, he gathers himself... or tries, because really, Yoongi in this dress with this pointy, enshrouded hat and this round, pouty face... he really needs a camera and a way to make sure this image never leaves his consciousness when they get back. (If they get back.)

Clearing his throat, Jimin tries to push the recalcitrant grump. "C'mon, Chubs! They're looking for you! We gotta stick to the story line." He urges as the fanfare starts.

"They're not looking for me, they're looking for Merryweather. And of course, she can squeeze you in as a random bird but we have to stick to the script?" The more Yoongi pouts, the harder it is for Jimin to take him seriously in this get-up.

He seems to notice, judging by how he narrows his eyes. Grinning, Jimin adds more salt to the wound. "I told you not to mess with the Fairy Godmother, hyung." He hums trying to push Yoongi with his bird body.

Wiggling his body off the spool, Yoongi tries to adjust the ridiculous amount of layers this dress carries. "She could be Mulan for all I care, no one speaks to you that way."

Jimin raises an eyebrow. "Mulan, hmm?"

Yoongi shrugs. "Don't act like you weren't thinking about it."

"Well, I have my hopes but I also just want to see where this leads us." Jimin offers, grinning.

"Merryweather!" They both hear once again.

Yoongi grumbles something under his breath that sounds very much not safe for Disney, before adding, "Tchaikovsky" with a huff of apparent disdain.

Jimin raises an eyebrow to which Yoongi shrugs, nonchalantly. "Everyone knows that."

Rather than adding to that, Jimin flutters his little wings. Giggling over how he's actually taking flight. "Look, hyung. Look!"

Yoongi turns then immediately scowls. "Oh so you get to be cool and I—" He then finds himself fluttering, unvoluntarily, towards the entrance of the cupboard they're hiding in. "You've got to be kidding me."

Giggling with a chirp, Jimin comments on how they both can fly as he pushes the cupboard slightly and the door finally gives. He tries to get a feel for his range of motion. Though he starts out a bit wobbly, Jimin picks it up like the natural he is.

"Come on, hyung. We have to catch up. Your turn!" He hums cheerfully, swooping around and doing aerials.

"Show off." Yoongi grumps.

Yoongi, however, does not seem to carry the same knack as Jimin. It starts off okay... ish. But the next thing he knows, he's banking more left, the smile across Jimin's cute bird face slowly morphing into his eek face as Yoongi crashes into a potted plant with a lot of colorful expletives.

Jimin attempts to help out a flailing, complaining Yoongi from where he got stuck in soil head first. "These wings don't even make one ounce of aerodynamic sense, Jimin-ah!" He whines. "Don't you dare laugh."

So Jimin takes a wing across his face, pretending to zip his beak, while also not successfully hiding his wide grin.

"Oh! Merryweather! There you are, no time for dallying. Come. The king and queen await." A red fairy barks.

Narrowing his eyes for like the billionth time, Yoongi huffs. "Just because it's a different movie and a different fairy costume, doesn't mean I don't recognize that voice."

Flora's eyes widen and Yoongi swears something like recognition and smug read across her face but Jimin's pushing him forward. "Okay there, hyung, let's get you going." He tweets.

While passing Flora, Yoongi takes two fingers to his eyes then motions between his eyes and hers. They fly to the top of the castle (with much help from Jimin), for reasons unknown to Yoongi. Fauna opens up to speak but the trumpets sound (not before Jimin rolls his eyes as Yoongi goes into a full rant about how when they have kids, they're not going to just force some random kid on them).

Endeared, Jimin leans into his boyfriend's space. "Hyung, you have to stop breaking the fourth wall! It's the rules."

"Rules? Says who?" Yoongi huffs, indignantly.

Pointing with as smug of an expression as an animated bird version of himself can, Jimin then raises an eyebrow.

Floating ominously above them, a set of rules to which Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"Convenient."

1. Learn from the grand tales of love
2. Ensure the tale is seen through until the end
3. Fix anything you've broken
4. You must be UNSEEN and UNHEARD
5. You must figure out the cure to true love in your heart!

Yoongi wants to grumble but is immediately pulled into a sparkly cloud. Next thing he knows, he's descending with the other fairies as their names are being announced.

When they approach the royal cradle, Yoongi can't help himself. "Personally, I'm not the biggest fan of babies..." he announces looking in on the sleeping newborn. "But my Jiminie loves babies..."

He shrugs, impassively. But not before taking a second glance at the sleeping tot, of course. And if there's a split second where he imagines what his and Jimin's nursery may look like for their first born...

But then he's whisked over to the King and Queen and what baby thoughts? Not him. Nope, never.

Yet, it's Yoongi who notices Jimin's made his way near the cradle and it's Yoongi who most definitely coos internally. But again, what baby thoughts?

Flora announces they're to each bless the child with one gift and Yoongi, forgetting himself, immediately jumps at the chance to gift the child free, independent, intelligent thought with compassionate boundary setting skills.

Jimin squawks, wings flailing before he's pointing to the lingering ominous reminder again. But it doesn't take, much to Jimin's relief and Yoongi's chagrin.

"You know how this will pan out for this kid! At least give me credit for craftiness, Jimin-ah. When you say something with something, it's technically one whole entity." He explains, pouting. He worked really hard for that!

Shaking his head while trying to hide his grin, Jimin perches on Yoongiweather's shoulder. As they observe Flora gifting beauty while Fauna offers the gift of song, Jimin frowns.

"I mean I guess those things are nice but actually, I did like yours better, hyung." He admits in whisper. And Yoongiweather's just about to puff his chest when Jimin slyly adds, "makes me think you've been really considering this baby thing, after all."

Yelping, Yoongi turns to protest but then he's propelled forward to the cradle.

Fast forward to the most important part...

Well, the most important part of this story to Yoongi, that is...

Maleficent enters. Now that's a bad bitch.

Even when she calls the fairies rabble and despite the fact that Merryweather would attempt a go at Maleficient, Yoongi stares in awe, even wanting to be insulted more.

"Hyung, do you see that contour?" Jimin whispers.

"Oh I know, it's so much better up close!" Yoongi responds, quietly.

"Is it breaking the rules to stan? Because her bone structure... her eyebrows..." Jimin adds in awe as she commands the audience.

Nodding, Yoongi says, "okay, I know we're supposed to root for the hero, but when we have kids and if they choose to be mesmerized by Maleficent, I wouldn't be entirely upset."

"This is quite a lot of mentioning our kids for someone who doesn't like them." Jimin notes.

Clearing his throat, Yoongi casually shrugs. "I have something to confess..." to which Jimin raises a bird eyebrow because he's been ready for this moment for a long time.

But then Yoongi adds, "standing here makes me see how much I did not like those live action adaptations whatsoever... in fact, I don't like any of the live action remakes or adaptations of these stories... these are the classics, leave them classic."

Clearly not expecting that, Jimin still turns with a smirk. "Is that all you want to confess about these movies?" But Yoongi has no idea what he means, so he shrugs like duh.

Instead, Yoongi just prattles on, "I read somewhere that technically she's well within her right to feel offended because in this time period, to not be invited is an act of flagrant disrespect on their part and they were probably hating on her because she's fabulous and green."

They take a moment to ponder what shade her skin tone actually is but before they can come to any massive conclusion, he's pulled to do his thing and reverse the curse to a sleeping spell.

He wants to argue. Conveniently, he can't get rid of the damn thing much to his dismay. And try as he might, he attempts to put a caveat on true love with his wish, but that too, doesn't stick. Oh, and another thing, to burn all of the spinning wheels? In this economy?

But alas, plots will plot.

To be the talk of all the realm is both nerve-wracking and admittedly enjoyable. The perks are amazing. An upgrade on housing of his choice. No longer required to reside among his student peers, he picks a plot for a beautiful cottage between sunflowers with fertile soil.

And he gets plenty of attention from the pixies.

But on this day, our favorite fae is summoned to the superiors again.

"We'd like to truly commend your hard work and intuitive discernment, for we have been informed that with your intervening, that ill-fated couple have been righted on a path to true love at this very moment!" One of the superiors exclaims.

He beams with pride. His mentor stands behind him, beaming as well.

"As a token of gratitude, you've been promoted! A fae such as yourself with good observation and deduction skills should be under the tutelage of Cupid himself."

He gasps. Is it really true? Cupid? Will he get to be promoted to the love department?

"And not just any sector of the love department," the superior seems to answer his thoughts. "We need strong skills like yours to continue to help our toughest cases!"

"This may be one of the toughest we've seen in quite a while... unless you count that Medusa debacle." Another superior chimes in and they all chuckle politely.

He's reeling entirely too much to fully understand. But he does understand when one says, "though we've not found any curse or magic on this particular item you've procured and brought before us," then, suspended in the air, is the rectangular device concealed with magic encasing, "we do suspect this is still a source of grave danger and will continue to investigate its power."

"As you demonstrate great potential so early, you have been invited by the Queen Mother herself for tea and honeysuckle!"

Then everything fades to black because he definitely faints from excitement.

"Love, all I'm saying is that first they kidnap the baby and then they rename her. So basically, the gag is her real gift will be a one way ticket to therapy when the identity crisis sets in." Yoongi notes.

This new dress is no better. In fact, he even went so far as to ask whether or not it made him look fat. And somehow, Jimin seems to find this sooo amusing instead of helping him out and answering.

"I think Briar Rose is a pretty name... as is Aurora. And you know why they had to do that, hyung." Jimin reasons.

"Because these plot points are awful. But that aside, the whole family is going to need a good therapist, baby. Her mother just gave birth and she wanted to keep the baby. That's gonna be a lot on her."

Jimin stares at his boyfriend incredulously. And not just because him being in this frock gives Jimin giggle fits. Yoongi looks back, shrugging as if there's no care in the world.

"Okay, so how do I do this again?" He asks, pensively.

Fauna went to find books for sewing patterns as they'll need new baby clothes for the baby while Flora went to pick berries for food, leaving Yoongiweather to tend to the baby, who is now in need of a diaper change.

Yoongi, supposedly not really into babies or kids, has been cooing at this child for the past 5 minutes, speaking to her in a squeaky, soft voice. Yoongi, who typically carries the same blank expression across his face but has been so animated and expressive in his movements. Who Jimin definitely caught sniffing the baby but then Yoongi tried to convince him that he was checking to see if she had a fever.

"You can tell by their breaths, baby. I read about this." He explained. Except Jimin just fired back, asking him what he was doing reading up on babies to which Yoongi casually ignored.

So here they are, having their first introduction to a baby together... while animated. And bird Jiminie is instructing Yoongiweather on how to change a cloth diaper.

As the narration guides the story and Maleficent rages in wrath, our loving duo sit marveling at just how much Briar Rose Aurora eats.

"I bet she could compete against Jeonggukie..." Yoongi whispers in awe. "And she grew up so fast..."

"That's because we're in the actual movie, hyung." Jimin sasses.

They're plotting over birthday preparations with Jimin perched on a beam, giggling at the tension in the room. Yoongiweather wanted to present a whole storyboard worth of ideas for the party but Flora talked over him and Fauna, leaving them to do menial work.

She knows damn well that Fauna's ass can't cook, he's been the one cooking, thankyouverymuch. And how dare this overbearing windbag regulate just because suddenly she thinks she's Carolina Herrera with this Peptol Bismol looking fabric when he's also been the one sewing? And then she has the nerve to shade Merryweather? The nerve.

But when Briar Rose Aurora walks through the forest, though Jimin's still a pretty bird, Yoongi is definitely not Yoongiweather.

Yoongi doesn't even flinch this time when Jimin wheezes in bird. He just sighs, emotionless, walking to the brook to check his reflection. Staring back at him, a cat-faced turtle. Because it's not ridiculous enough that they're stuck in a damn animation, right?

He waddles away from the brook as Jimin perches next to a bluebird. But the bird gets Jimin all wet.

Now, depending on who may be telling the next chain of events, you might get a few different reasons. Let Jimin tell it, his instincts kicked in, causing him to flail, opening his wings which caused the bluebird to be pushed. But then the bird seems to have taken that the wrong way and they get into a bit of a tussle until the bird gets pushed off the tree entirely, just in time for Briar Rose Aurora to step through singing and Jimin to take the blue bird's place.

But there was absolutely no ulterior motives or pettiness happening whatsoever. He can assure that.

Yoongi says nothing. Not one word about breaking any rules, considering Jimin's been on his ass. See, Yoongi is a mature adult (or in this current moment, cat-turtle).

He merely keeps a raised cat-turtle eyebrow as Jimin pretends to not see him, while he relishes in his spotlight.

The bluebird returns with a cardinal. Now Yoongi isn't one to make assumptions per se. But they look like they're ready to gang up on his baby. And turtle or not, he's having none of that.

So is it technically breaking the rules if he just so happens to step on a branch that's wedged against a large rock that happens to hold a pebble that flies across the forest, pelting the cardinal?

The cardinal startles, causing the bluebird to turn away from Jimin and towards the cardinal. Thankfully, it lands the desired result, which is to get the birds to alert the bunnies and other woodland creatures.

Except one of the bunnies looks very familiar and there's also a bear cub...

"I saw that!" Jimin utters, fluttering sweetly before landing just above Yoongi.

"Oh and let me guess, you just happened to accidentally knock that bird over so you could sing?" Yoongi ponders.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, hyu- oh my... Yoongi, is that...? Don't they look an awful lot like...?"

Yoongi nods. He sees it too. He knows he's potentially losing it but he still nods.

They all cross the forest over a fallen tree despite Yoongi's protests. And as Phillip embarks on his journey of investigating that voice, Jimin rests against turtle Yoongi casually.

"I feel bad for her." Yoongi points out. "And not just because I raised her." Jimin side eyes him but he pretends to ignore it. "This is her movie and she probably has the least amount of lines in the whole thing. She's sleep for most of the last part of it."

Before Jimin can add anything, as Briar Rose Aurora traipses through the forest, Yoongi's off doing who knows what with a lot of rocks, twigs and leaves.

When she lands on a tree, speaking of her dreams, she's just about to sigh when she looks up and sees: "Briar Rose Good. Boy baD. No Boy. Flee. B Fre"

She stares at the message with a perplexed expression as Jimin catches up. When he sees the messages, he instantly grimaces.

Over it, he looks to Yoongi who turtle shrugs. "I ran out of rocks on that last e. And I mean technically, I broke no rules because a turtle isn't even supposed to be here so if she happens to look at things a turtle might do, that's on her."

Impeccable logic.

"You just couldn't help yourself." Jimin shakes his head, landing next to Yoongi as the girl begins singing of her dreams.

"Says the bird that decided to make his stage debut?" Yoongi throws back. Jimin is not amused. "Okay, okay... no more interruptions. But you have to admit, it's boring just sitting through all of this. Plus, I didn't raise her to have such easy standards."

Jimin swoons, humming along as the girl frolicks across the forest so whimsically singing of her dreamlover. His musings interrupted by Yoongi.

"Her voice is pretty, I admit it. Taught her everything she knows. But yours is prettier." He shares and when Jimin turns, there he is, holding out a daisy. Yoongi bows but not before asking, "may I have this dance?"

Giggling, Jimin asks, "how the hell are you even holding this, hyung?"

"I'm a cartoon turtle, Jimin. Just work with me here." He flusters before Jimin giggles again, while holding the daisy in his beak before he also bows and accepts Yoongi's turtle... hands? paws? turtle appendages?

As the lovers meet and the song bounces across the forest, Yoongi even forgets to snipe at Phillip for touching his little baby girl without consent or sigh, saying something about how all of these plots could be avoided if these characters would just not talk to strangers. Instead, he pulls Jimin into the oddest waltz of his life but he can't help the way he's beaming and laughing. (He won't even say a single word about the fact that Yoongi's singing his entire heart out word for word as they dance).

Of course, the reverie's broken. Not even by Briar Rose Aurora realizing she shouldn't be speaking to a stranger (a moment which Yoongi is truly proud to witness if the "that's right, you tell him. He has to earn it, baby girl" is anything to go by).

Nope, what ruins Yoongi's joy but naturally seems to elevate Jimin's is the fact that they're back at the cottage and Yoongi is once again Yoongiweather. The scowl on his face isn't even forced while Jimin continues to relish in his misery.

It takes everything in him not to break the wall again, though he does quite enjoy changing the dress to blue from that hideous pink, getting under Flora's skin. A few times, Jimin has to dodge some seemingly accidental but surprisingly well aimed blasts from the direction of a particular wand. He'll definitely have much to say about that later but for now, the mission gets accomplished and the young girl goes from excitement to utter devastation as scripted.

Jimin finds himself feeling bad for the girl as Yoongi mentioned earlier. She barely gets much screen time and all of her choices have been made for her "benefit." And she doesn't even get to enjoy her own birthday cake.

But then all it takes is for Jimin to take one look at Yoongiweather back in full fairy regalia and he loses promptly it yet again. He wheezes in chirpy bird laughter the entire way, perched on Yoongi's shoulder, as they escort Aurora to what they know to be her ill-fated doom.

To Yoongi's surprise, that shifts as Jimin takes the sight of the princess splayed across the floor a bit heavier than he anticipated.

"They did this to my baby! Our baby!" He sniffles.

"There, there, love. You just let it out." Yoongi consoles.

Then they're lulling the kingdom to sleep.

In a flash, they're flying back to the cottage.

Yoongiweather still isn't the best at flying. In fact, he nearly nose dives into the water if not for Jimin's (very smug) assistance.

But when they're at the Forbidden Mountain (because that's not unoriginal, at all), it's Yoongi who can't contain it. Flying closely to Phillip, he whispers menacingly. "Now you listen here, you horny piece of teenage trash dump. You're going to unfortunately slay my queen and I don't like the idea of you kissing my child... ehem, Aurora without her consent to wake her up but you are not entitled to her body without her permission, got it? If you so much as look at her the wrong way without earning your place with her, I will come back and unleash a terror so fierce, you'll wish to face Maleficent again. And if you think I'm scary? You see that beautiful, precious, innocent face? Don't be fooled. He's the terror."

Bird Jimin stares deep into Phillip's soul and the prince nods slowly before allowing the fairies to free him of his shackles as Yoongiweather flitters away as though nothing happened.

Now one would think it's smooth sailing from here, right?

But need this be a reminder? This is what not to do in a fairy tale. Because it involves Yoongi and Jimin.

And Yoongi and Jimin are giggling over their triumph of scaring the shit out of the prince, not realizing that he's so distracted by Jimin's fluttering presence when they're attacked, he loses balance, knocking his head against a stone pillar.

He's out cold.

"Oh no... what do we do now, hyung? We gotta think quick." Jimin squeaks.

"Or... we could just leave him here, wake Aurora's parents and..."

Jimin swipes at Yoongi. "She doesn't know her parents! It wouldn't be true love!"

"She doesn't know this fool either!" Yoongi snipes.

Jimin wags his wing as if to a point a finger at Yoongi, "don't take that tone with me when you're the one who made him like this!"

"Me? You're the one glaring into his soul, you tiny terror!"

The raven happens back upon them, realizing the prince is out cold. He attempts to caw his way back to Maleficent. If she sees the prince knocked out, this could be awful.

Jimin darts up. Everything is out of sequence now. Of course it is with these two. "We have to fix it, hyung. Get him up, quickly!"

Fluttering towards the spot he knows the raven will be seen by Maleficent, he's now trying to duck and dodge the bird's attacks. Begrudgingly, Yoongi zaps the prince with his wand but looks up to see the raven's taking dangerous swipes at Jimin.

Now, bird Jimin may be tiny and adorable but Yoongi's baby is still fierce in all his fluffy, yellow glory. And Yoongi expresses as much. "That's right, baby. Kick his @#$!" He yells, when Jimin takes an offensive attack at the raven.

"If you don't get your fairy (*$ up here and fry this bird right now, Min Yoongi, so help me..." Jimin threatens.

Snapping out his own reverie, Yoongi's right on their tail. "Yes, dear. Coming, dear."

Jimin gets the bird to perch perfectly before Yoongi says, "honestly, that squawking was annoying," then zaps the bird frozen.

Winded, they both land, trying to catch their breath. "I'd say we make a great team, baby." Yoongi shares, causing Jimin to narrow his bird eyes. "I love you." He shares sheepishly.

Jimin doesn't realize it at first, he's been watching Phillip battle his way through to get to his lady fair. The fairies do their due diligence right when Yoongi says, "ya know, not to critique our queen but if she'd just taken out the fairies, she might have won."

Gasping, Jimin looks up to find Yoongi perched next to him on a nearby tree that hasn't been attacked by thorns. Except he's Yoongi. Well... that is to say he's animated Yoongi. And when Jimin looks, he's no longer a bird.

"Hyung, how-"

Grinning, Yoongi kisses Jimin properly before saying, "I have my ways."

They watch as Phillip makes his way into the castle. Sighing, Yoongi admits, "I guess he's got a lot of heart... or whatever."

Reluctantly, Jimin adds, "he did put in a lot of effort."

And then, the kingdom awakens upon true love's kiss.

But not before Yoongi and Jimin make a point to send a shadow in the form of the little yellow bird right above Aurora's bed, within Phillip's eye view, as a reminder. The prince does hesitate at that but is urged on by the fairies.

"Ya know, technically the movie's pretty much over. We could just split right on out of here after we waltz... again." Yoongi says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Mind telling me how it is you know the movie's pretty much over?" Jimin challenges.

"Baby, anyone can clearly see the credits are about to role, listen to the music." Yoongi suggests, as they whisk each other around.

Jimin roles his eyes, grinning but still dances with his silly boyfriend. "And why is it that we haven't left yet, hmm? Having postpartum separation issues?"

"On the contrary, my beautiful duckling. I've had my fair share of being in that dress long enough to be glad to part ways with this story but there's one more thing I need to-"

"Blue!" They hear as Flora startles. Grinning, Yoongi pulls Jimin away as he watches Flora flounder around looking for something.

"What did you do, Min Yoongi?" Jimin asks as they're headed down a dirt trail.

"I did everything technically by the book. If she dropped her wand on her way back into the castle and I picked it up..." he shrugs.

Sighing, Jimin just takes Yoongi's waiting hand. "Where do you think we're headed next?" He finds himself wondering.

And Yoongi's been wondering the same. "Well, I suppose if we're sticking to princesses and we're going in chronological order, it's Little Mermaid next... I think?"

"You think?" Jimin challenges cocking his eyebrow.

Yoongi shrugs. "How the heck should I know?"

With a side smirk, Jimin adds, "that's a great question, hyung."

Shrugging again, Yoongi says, "maybe it's not just the princess line."

That gives Jimin a thought. A really exciting thought that makes him bounce around Yoongi excitedly. "Hyung! Do you think we'll be lions in The Lion King?" Then he adds a fake growl that Yoongi thinks sounds like a lion cub so he coos.

"Fun as that sounds and cute as I know you'd be, I'd like us to avoid anything with claws, animated or not. Plus, you cry on the same parts every time we watch that movie so probably best to avoid that plot..."

Huffing, Jimin stops and crosses his arms. "It's not my fault you're cruel, hyung! Who, besides you, didn't cry when Mufasa died?"

"I won't negate its sadness, baby, but I knew it was coming." He shrugs, causing Jimin to huff before they're moving along the path again.

Then the most unsuspecting thing happens that nearly seizes Yoongi's poor little heart. A duckling brood waddles in one straight line, following right behind Jimin, causing Yoongi to absolutely lose his shit.

"Baby! They think you're a duck! You're a duck parent! Wait... ducklings usually follow the mother duck, right? You're a mother duck! Mother ducker!" He continues as he coos.

"Hyung, so help me, if you don't stop, I will ducking tape your lips shut."

Okay, maybe it is cute. The ducklings are adorable and really soft against Jimin's skin. They waddle along as he gently assists the brood all the way to a nearby lake (and if he managed to give each of them names within that time, who's asking?) while Yoongi fails to keep his cooing to a minimum.

The lake becomes a river which winds them around a bend but they get to a split in the road. That hasn't happened before. Something about it feels different. Still, they rock, paper, scissors to choose a direction. Jimin chooses left because that's the side of the bed Yoongi sleeps on, so Yoongi chooses right. When Jimin wins in a best two out of three, they go left.

If Yoongi's assumption about chronological order is correct, and if it is only princess films, and they keep following the water, then somehow they're supposed to be led towards the ocean, right? Except, they're headed to another chateau.

"They always put these on the mountains." Yoongi groans as they stare ahead. There's a body of water as they walk along but nothing looks too familiar. While they're trying to figure out their location, Yoongi says, "hmm... too bad we didn't get to spend more time with Cinderella."

Raising an eyebrow, Jimin stops, "oh really?"

With a shrug, Yoongi explains. "I just mean that she seemed pretty chill, pretty down to earth... I mean it's not the multiracial version we all know and love but now that we've been there, it has it's qualities."

Eyeing Yoongi closely as he's walking ahead, Jimin shakes his head. "Huh, imagine that."

There's no starting point to alert them of where they are. The only indication that they may be in the right place is the transformation that happens when they enter the castle beyond a certain point. Jimin, who was a bit ahead of Yoongi, changes first.

Because of that, Yoongi thinks quickly, seeing his boyfriend transform before his eyes, into an animated porcelain swan figurine. He's gorgeous but Yoongi doesn't have much time to gawk. He moves back, just in case the magic does something funny, aiming the wand at Jimin and instantly changing him back.

But not before he places the wand down on the ground as he feels himself shifting into something. When he tries to move, he realizes he can't, but he can speak.

"Baby?" He calls and Jimin's giggles guides him to his lover's general direction.

"A paperweight. A round paperweight with a flat back." Jimin clarifies, cackling. His voice gets closer as a shadow lingers over paperweight Yoongi, so he assumes his love's grabbed the wand.

And no wonder Yoongi can't move. He's transformed into the most useless object in the known world. He's about to ask his love so kindly to change him when Jimin takes a step back, still giggling before landing right into the clutches of a massive presence that roars right in his face.

Startled, that caused Jimin's wrist to flick, sending magic from the wand. It ricochets off a metal tray, thankfully landing on Yoongi. Once mobile, Yoongi's immediately in go mode.

He charges at full speed, "hey!" he yells before letting out a guttural yell.

Except said yell is not one at all.

In fact, it's the teeniest, squeakiest meow. The moment he hears it, he doesn't even feign surprise anymore. He simply lowers his head with his eyes closed and sighs. Looking at his now paws confirms it. He's a kitten.

Everyone (or object) within the immediate vicinity stops to stare in the most what the fuck way possible.

He deadpans. "Yeah, well don't let this little body fool you. If you touch my baby or get in his face with your monster breath again, I will take you out."

Chapter Text

"So... when... when did you know you were ready?"

There have been many times in life when Park Jimin didn't think he was 'ready' but it turned out he was. One time, he had an audition and even though he'd been up all night, there was a sequence in the dance he simply could not grasp. Lots of tears were shedding, gallons of hot cocoa drank (many bathroom breaks too).

It was a grueling sequence, among the most challenging he'd ever endured. And even though there were so many times he was ready to call it quits, he at least convinced himself that he'd come this far, so he could see it through. It paid off.

'Of course it did' Yoongi said with all the confidence in the world. Of course.

Another time, Jimin wasn't sure about how to tell his parents about his relationship. No, not what some may think. His parents are amazing. But Yoongi... well, let's just say Jimin complained so much about the newest addition to their friend group that his parents had his older cousin Heesung on speed dial just in case this Min Yoongi character needed some straightening out.

Imagine their surprise when they showed up, locked hands and all. Also, that was absolutely not his intention but Yoongi was just so insistent that Jimin needed to right his wrongs and somehow avenge him for slander against Yoongi's (supposed) good name.

Suffice to say, Park Jimin's been through his fair share of blunders, bumps and blemishes and lived to tell the tale. But this? This might be the one that does him in.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Let's rewind shall we?

So here's a recap of what happened:

Things are completely upside down in the castle, because who expected differently? Yoongi threatened the Beast... in a teeny kitten's body, mind you. Upon releasing Jimin, the enchanted staff assumed one of them was the one to break the spell. Yoongi grumbled, because naturally, they thought it'd be Jimin (he's much more gregarious).

Amazing to say there was quite the adventure at the Beast's castle and the provincial French village but really, not much to report.

Let's preface this, though, by saying Jimin and Yoongi really enjoyed their time with Belle. They liked Belle. Even though she wasn't exactly the best listener— because who really just decides to go exploring in a dark ass castle of someone who is holding you hostage? Digression aside. They liked Belle.

And Belle, it turns out, was already a prisoner in the Beast's tower by the time they'd arrived but because the staff watched Yoongi transform him and Jimin from inanimate objects to humans, they assumed they were either enchanters come to set things right or at least one of them *cough*Jimin*cough* was there to break the spell.

Naturally, this makes a grumpy Min Yoongi. Then again, that doesn't take much. But how dare they push this Beast/Jimin agenda with a whole Yoongi sitting right there? First of all, it could have very well been him who was there to break the spell (granted Jimin debunked that with a very dryly stated, "they all saw you threaten him as a kitten, hyung") But what really grinds his gears is the mention of yet another meddling magical entity.

Does he stand on an actual soap box (that he later apologizes for because he really had no idea it was one of the enchanted staff and he felt terrible)? And does he go into a very eloquent rant about taking responsibility for one's own life without magic and magical beings inserting their snooty noses where they don't belong? Does a song break out against fairies? Yes, to all of the above. It's a good enough distraction away from the staff pleading to be turned back to their human selves and that's his argument when Jimin looks at him with all the reproach and judgement in the world.

Rubbing his temples for what feels like the billionth time, Jimin sighs. "Hyung, what part of not breaking the fourth wall do you keep missing?"

"Baby, had I not been so quick on my toes, we might have had an even bigger problem trying to explain how we get to be human and they don't. I say I did us a solid. Besides, the plot was already screwed up before we got here, Jimin-ah." Yoongi reasons.

And Jimin once again raises a well-defined animated eyebrow. "How do you know the plot is screwed up already?"

But they have a bigger problem. Even though nothing happens. That's actually the problem. Nothing happens. For a while, at least.

Belle's locked in the tower, not taken to some fancy room. Jimin and Yoongi don't actually like the Beast... at all. In fact, dare Yoongi say it but he sees exactly why that Enchantress got the poor bastard. He finds solace in the fact that he hasn't fully turned to the sparkly dark side because it's unfair that this guy's staff has to suffer due to his own rudeness.

Still, a plot has to plot.

They've caused more than enough raucous, so at Jimin's strong urging (ie- ear pulling) while befriending the staff, they subtly start making suggestions to get Belle out of the tower.

The Beast is extremely wary of Yoongi, especially after that whole rabid kitten fiasco. And what Jimin doesn't know won't hurt him but every time that furry asshole so much as sniffs in his duckling's way, Yoongi levels him with the most scathing eyes (turned a sickly, haunting purple for dramatic effect). It's more than enough to help swing the pendulum towards team Belle.

They don't want to coerce or manipulate Belle at all. In fact, even Jimin admits, he'd almost much rather help her escape but again, plot's gotta plot.

So they start modeling. Not down a catwalk (though both of them would absolutely relish at an opportunity.) They actually lead by example (mostly unintentionally).

Well, it really wasn't intended but it does the job. How do they get the ball rolling one might ask? In typical them fashion.

They bicker to the high heavens.

"Min Yoongi, stop terrorizing the cooking staff!"

"All I'm saying is what makes french cuisine so great, huh? Why does it have to be the standard? And have better faith in me, Park Jimin! I'm not criticizing, I was genuinely curious!"

"How the hell do you expect them to know that answer? They're animated and they're written to do one job, Yoongi!"

Something about a mix between that and Yoongi's very passionate discussion on autonomy and boundaries and "if he so much as squeaks at you wrong from this point on, you let Yoongi-oppa know, Belle. I'll take him out if he yells at you or my Jiminie again."

"Hyung, you'd take on the Beast for me? That's so romantic."

(Their friends would really be gagging).

"Damn right." Yoongi huffs.

Just like that, they find themselves back on course (or something like it).

And that's what leads Jimin to...

"So you're saying you didn't know Yoongi was something you were looking for but when it happened, how did you know it was love?" Belle asks, tilting her head.

Jimin really tried. He really did. The rules are very clear, you see. (Really, they can't miss them. Every scene they move to, everywhere they turn, the rules blare right above them). But try as he might, Belle followed him everywhere once she learned he loved books as she did and that he enjoyed the arts. She bombarded him with so many questions about life and everything.

And somewhere between Yoongi taking up exchanging recipes with the cooking staff and his midday siesta, here Jimin and Belle find themselves as become their ritual.

"It took some time, really." Jimin finds himself sharing, "for me to sort through the truth of my feelings. Like I've said, we surely didn't always get along. And beyond hyung's grouchy exterior, you see him, he's the biggest, sweetest cutie." He shares and they both giggle, agreeing, both probably laughing at the image of Yoongi cooing and playing catch with the dog turned footstool along with being followed around by a line of tiny, excitable bouncing teacups, lead by a very intrigued Chip.

Really, it's Jimin's fault for swooning so hard. He totally missed all the signs. He'd answered all of Belle's questions about their relationship, excited to reflect on how they got this far... and he missed all of the signs. If there's one thing Jimin will remember, in hindsight, it's that Belle and he have such a similar personality from when he was a teen... and looking so close in the mirror scares him.

He really should not have been surprised when she asks, "when did you know you were ready?"

He shouldn't have been surprised even further when he confirms, with bulging and wide eyes, that ready means ready.

Oh. OH!

"I-I'm not supposed to..."

But Belle continues to look at him with wide, inquisitive eyes.

This is Yoongi's field of scope. Breaking walls and ranting and not following rules and... apparently having unwarranted sex talks with precocious horny teenagers.

"I—" he freezes, eyes still nearly ready to flee the sockets.

"Surely, you and Yoongi have been... well..."

Rather than finishing, she turns the page to a VERY explicit book she's been reading and Jimin yelps.

"Where did you... ah, Belle, wh-why are you reading that?" He's almost certain he's completely red and Belle is both intrigued and confused by the scandalized look on his face.

"Apologies... I thought... well, the other day I'd heard—"

Jimin squeaks again, in full panic before raising his hands, somehow trying to will every bit of this moment to stop. He swallows, trying to get his heart... his animated heart, mind you, to stop beating so fast.

There's been so many times where Jimin's been hinting at kids. The hints are not subtle whatsoever. But now all he can see is Yoongi's very smug version of I told you so because in this moment, he's instantly regretting ever looking at the squishy little buggers.

But Jimin is not one to back down from a challenge... sort of.

Really, every internal dialogue in his mind has blared to full panic. Full, utter panic.

"H-How old are you again?" He finds himself asking, trying to bide his time... hoping maybe Yoongi magically wakes up from his nap.

Every part of him that isn't in panic is sending Min Yoongi the worst four-letter words he can think of.

Belle smiles brightly. "17." Firm, assertive, confident with her shoulders back and her head held high. Everything that Jimin does not want to see right in this moment.

"And your papa, you can't..."

Wait, that's right.

Spoiler alert.

Something in the plot got so screwed up (surprise, surprise).

There's an animated version that goes in a sequence like this: Girl hates life. Provincial life to be exact. Girl's papa gets lost in the woods, randomly finds a palace after almost being mauled by wolves. Girl's papa becomes a prisoner in this freezing ass tower by a beast who doesn't know the meaning of due process. Girl finds out. Girl goes to investigate. Said investigation leads to girl being replaced by papa in that cold ass tower. Yadda yadda fast forward. Papa, obviously and like any good papa would, tries to employ the help of the town villagers. Town villagers throw him out on his ass in the freezing cold (really, it's just cold here). Papa decides to take matters into his own hands while villagers plot to best serve a hairy megalomaniac's narcissistic plans. Girl warms up to asshole beast. Beast shows girl how she can see her papa. Papa is damn near a Papa-sicle and Girl takes him home. Once they're home, Narcissist's plan gets put in motion with threat to put Papa in the asylum which leads to the main antagonism of this tale.

Let's all catch a breath because that was a lot.

Except our favorite pair scrambled up a bunch of shit so this time, that did not happen. What happened was the minute Papa came running into the tavern seeking help, they locked his ass up. He's been in the asylum since. Though, they still sang about how Gaston's hairy and whatnot, so at least there's that.

Maybe you're reading this wondering how Belle's able to sit up here and have sex talk and boy gossip tea time with Jimin when her Papa's freezing his ass off in an asylum.

It's because she won't know yet.

Yoongi, very begrudgingly, bundled up and went into town after losing rock, paper, scissors... even though he's nearly 100% sure Jimin cheated, and it didn't take long to hear what happened, as well as that there's been no sign of Belle around.

They need something of a plot device, okay? Work with us here.

"We need something to push the story since it's all jumbled up, hyung." Jimin had mentioned with an eye roll.

So Jimin and Yoongi know where poor Papa Maurice landed himself but Belle doesn't because Jimin's hoping the bonding they've been doing together is enough to get the Beast to feel compassion and show her where her Papa is, which will help him let her go and show he's finally learned to love... or something like that.

What he absolutely does not want nor prepare for in said bonding is to be talking to this young woman child walking fetus about sex.

What would Yoongi say?

Think, Jimin, think.

How would Yoongi handle this?

He can't believe his mind is asking but how would Yoongi go about this?

He closes his eyes. Thinks of Yoongi's cute, kissable face and the first thing that comes to mind, the most Yoongi thing he could ever think...

"Ugh, Jimin-ah, isn't this technically bestiality? See, this is exactly what I was saying about the line okay? Some will say kink shaming, right? But baby... there's a line and we don't even know how old he is either!"

Nevermind. Definitely not going to channel Yoongi.

He takes another breath. He can not believe he's about to say this...

"When I was ready, as you say, I talked to people I felt most comfortable with... and I asked a lot of questions. And I talked to the person I was interested in being uhh... ready with because consent matters on both sides." What he doesn't say is that Yoongi was certainly not his first because he's not even sure how appropriate that would be.

"I umm... I did read a lot," he finds himself nodding. Belle nods along as well, eyes widening in wonder. "There are different ways to... to be ready." He might as well rip the band-aid.

You can do this, Park Jimin.

"Belle, there are a lot of ways to engage in sexual experiences." He says bluntly and she startles (as does he) but continues to show her interest. So he continues.

"And the truth is, with me, nothing really could prepare me for it except that I'm glad I felt really comfortable with my partner and I learned that..." he swallows and takes both of Belle's hands in his own. Nearly pleading, he finds himself saying, "it's really important that you know what feels good for you and never let anyone ever convince you otherwise. Anything that doesn't feel good, you say it, okay? A good experience, a good partner... will listen to your needs and hopefully, share theirs as well. I... I did a lot of trying things with myself and getting to know my body so I could learn what feels nice. Some things that my body may enjoy, others may not. So even though I read a lot... I had to learn what works best for me."

He absolutely will not tell her that by the time he and Yoongi got together, they'd both been quite versed in their sexual pleasure as well as the pleasure of others... in other words, they pounced each other immediately. But that's an NSFB story. Not safe for Belle.

He does add, "I knew Yoongi was the one I wanted to be with because of how much he showed me he cared. It took some time to learn that, I'll admit, but don't tell him I told you that. He and I love each other but we express that love differently. And when I thought about how I want to be treated, how I want to feel around someone else and how someone could make me feel, I found I really liked how he expresses his love. And he's really cute too."

Then they're giggling even though he's pale. Color completely drained and even bone weary. When (if) they get back home, he'll call his parents and book the first train to them so he can smother them in kisses. This is so exhausting. He's not sure he even said the right things. He's not sure if there's such a thing as a right thing with all of this.

But when Belle smiles brightly and thanks him, he gets the sense that something, hopefully, resonated.

Also, he is never, ever, ever, and he means EVER doing that again. Babies come from storks, the tooth fairy is real, he was created from sea foam and that's that.

(When Yoongi finds out, he gives him so much shit and laughs so hard his body shakes. So naturally, Jimin withholds on their "ready" time out of spite).

Something works though.

They get to waltz along to Beauty and the Beast.

Belle gets to see her papa really is in an asylum.

Beast lets her go, realizing he's selfless (even though Yoongi side eyes the hell out of him... secretly, Jimin kind of does too).

Belle makes demands at the asylum which prompts Gaston to Gaston.

One thing Yoongi refuses to do, is be present for the melee that unfolds in the castle. So do he and Jimin find themselves propped up at a spa in town, waiting this whole thing out? Yup. Did Yoongi flat out tell the Beast they were peacing out? Yup.

Before they know it, Belle's returning and Gaston's still Gastoning, true love's kiss, yadda yadda and tada, they're headed off.

Not before Yoongi manages to procure some very important provisions, exchange contact info with the kitchen staff? and they give hugs to all of their favorite people (still not the man formerly known as the Beast and it's Yoongi who has to pull Jimin away before he sticks his foot in his mouth and tells Belle she could do so much better).

"So he was saying that while it depends on the region, cheeses and wines are the key and he likes to be heavy on the butter. And I mean, for animated food, I won't say it was awful by any stretch, yeah? But it's definitely not Korean food. I don't think I sound like a snob in saying there's just nothing like it, baby." Yoongi explains with a satisfied expression.

Jimin can't help but giggle at Yoongi's rants while they walk along.

He seems to stop mid-rant and changes the subject. "I'm proud of you... I know you were having a hard time not intervening..."

"I really didn't want to be that person but after spending time with Belle, she really could do so much better. Ugh! Okay since we're in between stories, I think I can be honestly. So far, hyung, the only one I maybe found agreeable was Prince Phillip because he fought hard and him knocking himself out was hilarious. But don't you think it's weird these princesses have all been teens so far but how old are these princes? And that Beast! I just... he was so pompous and unfriendly even when he was supposedly trying! But at least she'll take his money." Jimin offers, grinning.

Raising an eyebrow, Yoongi says nothing, as they walk along, offering a tangerine from his pocket before patting the top of Jimin's head. There, there.

"Hyung, where did you..." but he stops and shakes his head because it's Min Yoongi.

Provisions.

"I don't know where we're headed next, hyung, but please, let's really promise and try not to destroy things so much this time, really, I mean it."

Chuckling with a shoulder bounce, Yoongi says, "had one sex talk and your whole life flashed before your eyes, hmm, my little duckling?"

"You're being mean but also... yes, actually. I never want to experience that again in my life, Yoongi!" Jimin whines, stuffing pieces of fruit in his squishy cheeks.

Grinning, Yoongi shrugs. In mid chew, he contemplates, finding himself say, "I think I'd like a house full of babies."

And if you'd asked Park Jimin about this months, even days ago, he might've checked Yoongi's tangerine, felt his head but also squealed in delight. Now?

"Maybe we really are in some kind of dream world..." he mutters but Yoongi still hears it.

Shrugging, he says, "I'm serious."

Realization settles across Jimin's face after a beat or two. "You caught the baby bug with Briar— Aur— with the baby!"

And he's pleasantly shocked to find Yoongi swooning. "She smelled really nice and she was a cuddly baby... even when she threw up." He admits, softly.

Bumping Yoongi's hip playfully, Jimin shakes his head. "I can't believe this is the same man who threatened to gouge a Beast's eyes out with his kitten paws. But then I also can."

When they turn around the bend, it's obvious they're so much closer to sea now. Jimin bounces in anticipation as Yoongi just groans.

"Why can't we be in a world like The Incredibles or something so I can blast some things?" He laments but not without demonstrating how he would, in fact, blast some shit.

Grinning, Jimin shakes his head. "I think the point is because the plot has to be romantic, hyung!"

And without missing a beat, Yoongi adds, "trust me, you in spandex will get very romantic." 

Everyone in the entire history of every plot knows, at this point, Jimin rolls his eyes. But Min Yoongi is not to be deterred.

Because he adds, "besides, there's a romance plot in The Incredibles, baby. It's about families."

"You sound awfully knowledgeable for a guy who just really hates this." Jimin sasses.

But Yoongi retorts, tutting. "The Incredibles is a non-negotiable classic and the soundtrack is brilliant, don't argue with me on this."

Shaking his head, but smiling, Jimin ponders aloud as they head clearly towards a sea village after a while. "Where do you think—?"

He starts as Yoongi also says, "Do you think we're following a map?"

They both blink before Jimin takes in Yoongi's thoughts. "I never thought of it that way... but maybe. Let's assume we left the obscure potentially English locations of the other castles and headed to France... if we're out to sea, maybe we're near the Mediterranean of sorts? What?"

Yoongi, widely grinning, shakes his head, swooning. "My genius baby."

"Hyung!" Jimin whines, "don't do that!"

"I gotta praise you whenever I can, you know this."

"I know and that's exactly what got me in that mess with Belle so it's technically your fault by the way."

Ignoring this, Yoongi adds, "I don't know if we're at Little Mermaid or not then. I figured that's where it was at first but then I remembered, there's a geographical controversy on where the story takes place. Some believe somewhere along the Mediterranean and some say Denmark because that's where the original author is from."

Jimin stops in his tracks and just stares. Blinks. Shakes his head. "Hyung, you really do know the most random stuff."

There is no blaring fan fare this time around. Not even a tragic backstory to be told by some ominous narrator to let them know where they are. And they make sure they haven't crashed right square in the middle of something. No.

What informs them of their whereabouts happens in the most them way possible. Jimin, sweet, cute, precious, sexy, lovely Jimin very characteristically trips on air. (In his defense, it was a rock, it truly was).

This causes Yoongi's cat-like (pun very intended) reflexes to kick in and save his baby. But said baby only proceeds to win at grabbing said Yoongi and pulling him. They both go tumbling into the water.

And that's how they find out that Jimin's a cute little pufferfish and Yoongi... well...

Giggling in hysterics, Jimin's cute little fins cross his cute pufferfish body as he tries to catch his breath.

Yoongi doesn't have to be a rocket scientist or Nostradamus himself to know what has Jimin is stitches. "So predictable but so moronic. Catfish don't even belong in the $#@ sea." He deadpans.

"I told you not to mess with the Fairy Godmother, hyung."

"She's not even real, Jimin-ah."

"And yet, you're a literal fish with a cat face in the middle of an animated sea." Jimin chimes triumphantly.

All does not immediately go well. In spite of the fact that technically Yoongi never promised he would, in fact, abide by the rules, it's almost logistically impossible, at the moment, for them to be anything other than sea life as they explore King Triton's palace. So, he technically can't reek too much havoc... yet.

Granted, Jimin pouts the entire time about not being one of the merfolk. And let it never be said that Jimin's the only petty one in the relationship. Because Yoongi refuses to help his boyfriend fulfill that desire, especially after Jimin laughs every time he sees Yoongi's blank expression. If Yoongi has to look ridiculous, so shall he.

But, for the most part, things... sort of... go according to plan.

They even have time to enjoy the entire sea come together and cut a rug.

It's all fun and games until the King gets wind of Ariel's transgressions (ie- she saved a whole human, clutch pearls immediately). Except, what's supposed to happen is he's just supposed to ruin her teenage dreams like most normal helicopter parents might. What actually happens is he does that and also freezes Sebastian and Flounder in the process. But he's so caught in his rage, he doesn't know he froze them.

So now, after trying with the wand to no avail, Yoongi and Jimin really have to stay as some kind of marine life to help Ariel.

And Yoongi's torn. Torn because he wants to smugly look down at Jimin who went on and on correcting him about not interfering this time. But also, something in his heart just compels him to...

"I know it might not look like it, especially because it's not even anatomically possible for me to be here but I was your age once..." he offers, softly. The girl looks lost and devastated, unsure of what to do or where to go. And now, she's skeptical.

But Yoongi immediately adds, "okay, okay so like no teen wants to hear that, ever. I know, but what I was going to say is it might make no sense to you but we're from two different backgrounds. Where I'm from, we honor our elders' wisdom differently. And... I'm not a parent but if I were, I think I would hope to be a friend to my kid and we could talk. I hope I'd be brave enough to let them know if their choices seemed confusing and scary to me... rather than trying to force you with fear... but it's okay to cry..." She looks at him with a wobbling lip before falling onto a giant rock in tears. He awkwardly offers her a fin to her back.

Jimin keeps a raised brow but says nothing because just that fast, they're being flanked by Flotsam and Jetsam.

"We have to pretend to put up a fight to make her more curious, hyung..." Jimin whispers.

Yoongi clears his throat, as though ready for his Shakespearean debut. "No, Ariel, don't go" he recites, dry as sand, causing Jimin to choke down laughter.

"I-I have to do what feels best for me..." Ariel says resolutely.

Yoongi pretends to hang his head in understanding and when she passes with the minions, Jimin side eyes him but also pretends to be in shock. "From now on, leave the acting to me. Also, baby, you're so sweet but we're not supposed to interfere!"

"Okay but she's 16, Jimin-ah, she's still a kid... even though her dad's gonna let her be married... I just... I didn't like seeing that...?"

Jimin raises his pufferfish eyebrow to which Yoongi catches this and changes his expression. "I mean... whatever." He says nonchalantly with a shrug before also adding, "...just, when we have kids, I'd like us to listen to them while also letting them know why we think something might be unsafe..."

"Min Yoongi," Jimin says so seriously. "I don't think you heard my crisis well enough but I wish you well on your new journey to parenthood. You'll be taking that one by yourself," before swimming after the trio.

When Sebastian and Flounder arrived at Ursula's lair, it was met with fear. Jimin and Yoongi entering is met with something much different.

"Don't touch me... and don't touch my baby either." He warns while slapping at Ursula's "patrons" before stopping dead in his tracks in a gasp. Upon looking up and seeing Ursula, he stares, in awe.

Jimin, who was a little behind Yoongi, doesn't realize he's stopped and crashes into him. He's pouty and about to fuss when he notices and gasps as well.

"My queen." Yoongi utters in reverence. "It's a win for the gays, baby." He whispers to no one and everyone.

Because technically he's talking to Jimin but Jimin's busy trying to pull a non-budging Yoongi away from getting caught in the middle of a lot of booms and pizzazz.

Still, he continues on in his fan boy moment. "Disney won when the gays took over. Granted, imagine what it would be like if it were queers of color." He contemplates, seeming to pull himself away from his worship for a moment.

Jimin giggles, shaking his head. "That's a wonderful image, my handsome little catfish fanboy, but we need to be hidden."

Pouting, Yoongi scrunches up what is somehow his catfish nose before following Jimin. That's short-lived as they both stare in awe and reverie of Ursula literally wielding her magic.

Even Jimin finds himself gasping, adding, "this is even better up close..."

Neither says a thing to the other about how they're both mouthing along and bobbing to the lyrics.

...while this teenage mergirl is about to sign her life away...

They play the part and swiftly attempt to help her to shore.

"So listen," Yoongi starts, once they've assured that Ariel's breathing and somewhat attempting to stand on her new legs. "This is your first lesson in your crash course to adulthood. Being accountable to your choices. Now, while you were floundering over there... get it..."

But Jimin is not amused so Yoongi clears his throat and continues. "Right. So Jiminie and I have decided it'd be best to let you see some stuff. Granted, I can't give your voice back. That's something we both agreed you have to see through on your own but like... consider us your..." he looks over at Jimin begrudgingly. "Please don't make me say this..."

"Consider us like your fairy godparents, Ariel." Jimin cheerily adds after yet again rolling his eyes at Yoongi, who side eyes him hard.

The girl looks down at them with bright, confused and weary eyes.

"Show her, hyung."

Yoongi pulls the wand out of his... catfish pocket?... who knows. He pulls it from somewhere is the point, and first flicks the wand towards Ariel to cover her in a basic smock ("because we can't be label conscious right now, hyung, she has to look broke down!" Jimin threatened earlier). Then Yoongi's switching Jimin and Yoongi into their human forms.

Shocked, Ariel stumbles back, nearly plummeting herself into the water but manages to be caught by both of them.

"We're going to help you find your prince. But it's best if we stay hidden and you do your best to work your beautiful charm, okay? I'm Jimin and this grump is my Yoongi." Jimin shares warmly.

This seems to relax Ariel a bit and she smiles warmly, gesturing her gratitude.

"Remember, it's okay that you can't talk. If someone truly loves you, they won't care if you can or not, they'll still find a way to communicate with you. And if they don't, we can turn them into a cactus and—"

"What my love means is that we want you to remember to be yourself. And we'll be here with you when we can, Ariel. You're going to do great!" Jimin offers, cutting Yoongi off.

Scuttle flies in but Yoongi and Jimin hide behind a boulder. In true Scuttle fashion, he keeps script and has no clue what's new about Ariel. Jimin technically loses rock, paper, scissors this time (fair and square might Yoongi add) but he pinches Yoongi who yelps before yelling "she's got legs!"

Before that can continue, he flies off as Ariel's being whisked off by Prince Eric and Max.

And one would surely think things are going as planned. Because that's how it looks, naturally.

Except there's no fight with any chefs and there's a huge, major, ginormous plothole.

"Hyung, you have to do it! Come on, you have to do it." Jimin insists, nearly whining.

Yoongi tries (emphasis on try) to put his foot down. "No. I'm not staying in an animal body any longer, Jimin-ah."

"Yoongi, you have to do it!"

"I don't even have any kind of accent close to Sebastian's, Jimin. That would be absurd on so many levels and I won't even try."

"Then don't do it like that but you're a musician, hyung. Figure something out!"

"Like... like what?!"

Frustrated, Jimin flicks water around. "I don't know! Improvise!"

Muttering under his breath, Yoongi scowls about not getting paid for any of it.

Sighing, Jimin groans in frustration before the light bulb clicks and he gasps, "Just... just think of something that comes to mind when you think of me!"

Yoongi nods, flicking the wand and becoming a tiny octopus. Before Jimin can open his mouth to ask, he shares, "they're geniuses of the sea, don't question it."

He takes his place just before the canoe rows towards them and clears his throat.

Just think of something that comes to mind when you think of me... Jimin said.

Jimin nods as if to read his mind, encouraging him all at the same time.

So Yoongi clears his throat and recites the first thing that comes to mind, thinking of Jimin... "I like big butts and I can not lie..."

He's too immersed in rapping, dance moves and gestures aplenty, to notice the murderous look on Jimin's face but as he's just about to finish "but that butt you got makes me..." when he opens his eyes and sees it.

Oops.

Shrugging but also quickly dodging out of the line of fire, he jumps into action, grabbing a snipped cattail (pun intended) and gathers his motley orchestra. He quickly moves nearly at lightning speed to avoid the wrath of Park Jimin, prompting them to get the melody and timing down.

Here goes nothing.

But Jimin just stares so Yoongi stares back. Park Jimin is so over it right now, he rolls his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief because this man had ONE job... a job he actually gets paid for... is he really serious right now? How is this even real life that the one very thing he gets paid to do, he can't even do? And he has the nerve to just shrug and give him that face. The face!

While Yoongi commands his new orchestra, the canoe slides forward so Jimin does what any remotely sane person would in this moment, he flows with the music and starts singing: "저 푸른 초원위에..."

Chapter Text

"Stop. Cut the music! I can't... I can't do this. Trot, Yoongi?" Jimin shrieks, so disappointed that he even went along with it. Obviously, it just left the two characters in that canoe so confused (but Yoongi would also argue that Ariel and Eric were definitely bopping along... just saying).

"Hey, you went with—" But Yoongi immediately stops like the smart man he is when he sees Jimin ready to commit not so fun or sexy acts of bodily harm. "Okay, okay!" He placates, making Jimin melt into a pouty puddle of pufferfish goodness. How's that for alliteration?

"Hyung! Do something!" Jimin begs in agony.

Shaking his head, Yoongi taps his cattail again, gaining the orchestra's attention. "Alright, just remember I only do these things for my baby, yeah? You all have done great so far... really loved how that horn section came alive so..."

He looks up to see Jimin and ducks, immediately. "Right. Anyway, let's create the mood. I am definitely not singing, Park Jimin. This is all on you. He really does have a beautiful voice, you guys." He finds himself gushing. And though Jimin blushes, he's definitely beyond annoyed so Yoongi prompts the orchestra. "Alright... from the top. Percussion..."

For all of the laser intensity Jimin willed through his eyes towards one Min Yoongi, he's now in a split-second realization where it dawns on him that he really doesn't know the words. He just knows the moment is so pretty and romantic and encouraging Eric to kiss this girl. So as Yoongi's coaxing the strings and woodwinds sections, Jimin, who is every bit the most adorable duckling right now, thanks to Yoongi, looks up with wide and panicked eyes.

But if there's one thing Jimin can say is a hidden talent, it's being able to create lyrics and melodies from the top of his head. So, though his start time is just a bit off and he has no idea what he's saying, as the boat comes closer yet again, Jimin opens up and sings whatever comes to mind. Willing his timing to get to the part where he emphasizes how Eric needs to kiss this girl.

And even though he's so certain Min Yoongi is teasing/laughing at him and his ridiculous lyrics, Jimin's impressed by the soulful harmonies of the flamingos and frogs joining in on his shenanigans. Even Yoongi looks at him with those 'made for Park Jimin only' eyes. And it seems to work. Just like that, they're somewhat back on track. At least to where Eric wants to try guessing Ariel's name.

It's all fun and games until Jimin nearly falls over in shock. As the almost lovers head to this gorgeous blue and purple toned backdrop, and he's about to take his cue to start babbling yet again, out of nowhere comes the softest baritone voice.

"Now's your moment, floating in a blue lagoon..." Jimin looks up, trying to mouth along only to find Yoongi in a world of his own, completely immersed in the song.

He slowly shakes the shock away from his limbs, joining Yoongi in harmonies and ad-libs. If Jimin didn't know any better, he'd swear Yoongi was actually singing all the right words. Then again, maybe not.

Because instead of encouraging the human pair to kiss, his ensemble are all singing "kiss Park Jimin" as the song builds further. But he'll let that slide.

Especially now as Jimin's being swung around and serenaded. And they completely forget what comes next.

Even though Eric and Ariel won't get their kiss, there's a duckling and tiny octopus somehow making out in the corner of the lagoon, completely oblivious to the nearly submerged couple from the now capsized boat.

When they come up for air, the little mermaid and her prince long forgotten, Jimin can't help giggling.

"This makes no anatomical sense whatsoever, hyung." He shares, caressing Yoongi's octopus face.

"I gave up on making sense a few stories ago, love."

The way the rest of this should go if they're following the storyline, is that Ariel will be devastated when she wakes up the next morning only to see Eric in the arms of a woman as they declare their intent to marry on a ship at sunset.

That will push all of her animal friends (a true tale comes with a maiden fair who has animal friends. It's a rule, remember that) into go mode after Scuttle discovers Eric's been put under a spell and actually about to marry the sea witch.

Except it would appear Triton still has no idea that he froze said sea friends and (naturally) Scuttle had one too many birdie cocktails the night before.

This causes our not so helpful heroes to bicker.

Not that it would take much for this prickly pair.

But the point still stands that it makes no feasible sense whatsoever that a catfish would survive in saltwater. And even though he's no longer a catfish, every time he has to be an animal brings Yoongi back to that original point.

And Jimin reminds him they don't have time for his whining when they have to figure out how to bring the news to Ariel and get her to that boat.

So the most practical thing to do is to convince her to get on the boat before it leaves. But Ariel's very... willful.

To say the least.

They really get it. Her heart's broken, she's teenager-y as well.

Jimin looks at Yoongi. Yoongi looks at Jimin. If they don't move quickly, they'll have to come up with another plan and that could possibly involve Yoongi as another sea creature. In water no less. He's not really keen on that, to say the least.

It must show as much on his face.

So with all of the compassion in the world, Jimin runs his hand through his hair, "look, don't ask how but we are able to see the future. And the thing is, even if it's scary and painful, if you get on that boat, you can still fight for love. That’s possible in your future. But the future is…"

He looks to Yoongi for help. Usually, he's not so bad with words but they're completely off script at this point. This kind of improvising breaking the rules is more Yoongi's forte.

Jimin's eyes plead (more like threaten) Yoongi to take action. So naturally, being as besotted by one Park Jimin as he is, he does.

"The future is really in your hands, Ariel. Just because we can see it, doesn't mean it's set in stone. You have to do the work. You have to do the rest. Really, this is up to you. It won't be easy but there's a future where you get your happy ending. It's possible… if you… believe! Yeah, if you believe." He says, because he tries his best to channel what one might say in a moment like this during a Disney film.

He must be doing okay because Jimin's eyes brighten as he eggs Yoongi on. "So do you want to go back to the ocean, constantly asking yourself what if? What if I had just gotten on that boat and fought for my chance? What if I really can have what I want? Or do you want to move your a— yourself, and hit the gas hard? It's up to you. We'll continue on our journey but can you live with yourself if you don't at least try?"

Ariel takes a deep look of contemplation that soon morphs to determination. She looks fierce and confident, even going so far as to nod her head before she takes off running to join the entourage on that boat.

While following behind her, our favorite pair both sigh in relief. Yoongi's also happy they don't have to be animals for this next part.

"Hyung, you did it!" Jimin chirps happily.

"Good thing she fell for it too, because I was completely talking out my…"

Yoongi can't complete that thought. 1. because the author stopped it, ha. 2. because those words would not come out the way he'd hope and 3. the minute they step onto the boat, a sight catches both of them that has them completely baffled.

"H-Hyung, the chef is supposed to be a French guy, right? But… doesn't he look… familiar…?" Jimin starts while blinking in disbelief.

The chef in question is demonstrating his cake display when someone mentions something, causing him to let out a very characteristic laugh that sounds very much like a windshield wiper.

Yoongi shakes his head a bit violently. "I think we've been in the water too long…"

To help Jimin away from staring at the chef, Yoongi guides him around the ship. Really, there's not much else to do before things heat up, so why not? Of course, naturally, Jimin takes that moment to realize he needs to find a bathroom. So he recommends they split up to find one and then come back to the corridor they're standing in five minutes.

And Yoongi thinks they should have stayed together. Still, he finds himself roaming and looking for one because he is a man in love, after all. And let it never be said he won't do even the silliest things for his love.

Of course, it's in that exploration that he hears Ursula (as Vanessa, who is really voiced by the same person that voiced Ariel, but Yoongi won't tell Jimin he knows this, obviously).

For someone trying to plot, she's pretty goofy in her plan. Because plot's gotta plot. The door to her suite is wide open as is the window. With a hungover Scuttle and frozen animal friends, Yoongi sighs, knowing he'll once again have to take one for the team.

She sings her nefarious plan and gasp reveals herself as Ursula in the mirror. Except when she moves it, she nearly screeches to high heavens seeing a wild Yoongi appear from seemingly nowhere.

He shrugs, adding, "respectfully, I'd be rooting for you if it were just my choice. But I love my baby and he loves happy endings. You are a worthy adversary" before he bows dramatically then makes his exit.

With a raised eyebrow, Vanessula watches the quiet man exit in the shadow.

Jimin's clearly found a bathroom by the time Yoongi finds him. He's back on deck with a massive plate of food, giggling with the chef who is supposed to be Louis but looks an awful like someone in their reality who shall be nameless because then that makes this whole thing way too real.

"Oh there you are, you were taking forever." Jimin offers so full of glee.

Yoongi narrows his eyes. "Yes, well, some of us stick to the plan and others just go off script, who knew."

He's pretty sure Jimin intentionally ignores him, swaying happily as he digs into his food mound.

"Right. Well while you were out here stuffing your face, I was actually doing great intel and I just remembered something. We need Scuttle or someone to get the animals here to stall the wedding. And seeing as he's likely baked on a rock out in the sea somewhere, you're the next best candidate with flying skills."

There's a split second where Yoongi almost gives into the massive pout that forms on Jimin's face. But no way, no how. The last time Yoongi had wings… well, he shutters at that time. That dress was entirely too floofy and unflattering to his figure and those wings made… right, back to the story at hand. Jimin. Pout. Got it.

He won't back down no matter how much Jimin whines about wanting cake.

And that's how he triumphantly finds himself with a food piled plate and Jimin's discreetly magicked into a water fowl so he can get back to the lagoon and rally the troops.

Victory short-lived, though. The food, in spite being a cartoon, is bland and unseasoned.

"Try not to fret again and risk embarrassment. We do not want a repeat of the incident that shall be hence stricken after this conversation."

The fae nods emphatically. His zeal cost him that one on one tea time with Queen Mother. He's still upset over not having honeysuckle!

He's just about to agree verbally when a sound he rarely hears blares over their loudspeaker.

'Code 314. I repeat we have a code 314. All relevant personnel, please report to E deck immediately.'

The last time there was such a code announced was during the Medusa incident. And that's something of legends.

The fae gasps as does his superior. "Quick, that's us!" The superior says before pulling him along.

They arrive at E deck to see other fae scrambling.

In front of the main database that keeps track of all progress to true love, something looks awry. Most of the screen has a steady flow of linear movement. Even with deviations, which are to be expected, there's a baseline. However, there's at least one correspondence point that split way above the baseline into multiple lines, of unprecedented levels. The chart is all over the place.

"Fae, please remain calm. I know. I know. What we are seeing here hasn't existed for quite some time. But we must remember, there are protocol in place for this very reason."

Every fae stops.

She saunters in with her blue cloak, shiny glow and perfect wings.

The Queen Mother. (insert ominous wow, dun dun duuuun music here for dramatic effect)

"Queen Mother, it is an honor to have you join us!" The Superior Fae offers.

Ever the gracious example of excellence, she waves them off kindly. "Enough of that, my darlings. We have other priorities at hand. So let's not dilly dally, shall we? Superior Jinglejangle, report."

"Yes, Queen Mother. What I am about to share must be taken with the utmost care as this is strictly confidential. The few of you in this room are here selected due to your exemplary skills in the field. As you can see, our chart typically indicates a steady moving baseline. Yet what we are witnessing…"

The Superior stops, shaking her head in disbelief. Her lip begins to wobble. It must be really terrible.

Queen Mother glides to her side right away. She whispers something and the Superior nods before Queen Mother motions for other fae to assist. They whisk the Superior off.

Queen Mother sighs, sadly. "What I am to share is not for feint of heart, I'm afraid. I'll need only my best, most true of heart here."

She scans around until she locks eyes with our fearsome fae, who looks on in shock.

"What you're seeing here," she points to all of the lines splitting in different directions. "Is a deviation." (insert dramatic wow dun dun duuuuun music again for dramatic effect)

Everyone gasps. Because dramatic effect.

Deviations are a thing of myth around here. Not since the Medusa incident!

"Yes, yes I'm afraid that's what we are seeing. But worry not. Each of you come highly skilled and well recommended. You have been training all of your days for moments like this. Just in case. And now, we need you to sort out where these deviations are occurring."

"Ha! Take that, Kim Taehyung. Why? Because who is a mermaid, I'm a mermaid. And you don't get to be a mermaid and if I had a camera right now, I would take all of the mermaid selfies of me slaying as a mermaid and send each and every one to you because you don't get to be a mermaid but I GET TO BE A MERMAID!"

Umm… how did we get here?

Oh, right.

Flashback…

If there is one thing Yoongi really can't take, it's a Park Jimin pout™. And Park Jimin is laying it on thicker than all of the layers of that stale ass cake.

(Yes, Yoongi definitely snuck a piece.)

But he can't give in. They both made an agreement. And the sooner they can get out of here the better.

Oh, maybe you were invested in what happened to Ariel.

Right.

So TLDR: Jimin squeaked his way across the lagoon. The homies pulled up and stalled the wedding. Max still got a good chunk out of Vanessula's ass. (Yoongi wheezed for at least five minutes because that was way funnier in real life… or Disney life… whatever, you get it) Our two favorite goofs remember one big plothole. Because there are always fucking plotholes! With Sebastian and Flounder floating in a frozen abyss, literally, someone was supposed to get Ariel on the boat while the other went to warn the Sea King rather than both of them having the time of their lives giggling at people's outfits while eating not so flavorful food. Assignment not understood. Anyway, so they play rock, paper, scissors. Yoongi lost. Jimin cheated. Yoongi ends up back in the water. Lots more grumbling commences. Jimin stalls the wedding further by announcing that Eric is actually his lover. The chef starts serving literal tea for that scandal. Yoongi gets to the Sea King, completely digresses when the stubborn twat refuses to believe him and lays into the actual freaking Sea King about how he needs to read up on restorative and gentle parenting.

Anyway again, Sea King arrives just in time for sunset. The timing is slightly off but Ariel gets her fin back, Eric chases after her. Yadda yadda. Jimin tries to sneak off and shirk his in the water duties because "I ate too much cake and it'll upset my stomach, hyung" but Yoongi "accidentally" trips and pushes Jimin off the ship, changing him to a pufferfish mid-fall. Jimin's in the water trying to spike Yoongi to death with his puffer spikes but oh yeah, there's a story they gotta finish.

They bicker over who has to help stop Flotsam and Jetsam. And even though Jimin's a fish, he accidentally trips (somehow?) over a rock, causing the eels to go flying into Ursula's path of destruction. Well, that problem got solved. Everything else goes the way of that one version from the 80s. Yay.

And now we're back. To where, (to no one's surprise) Park Jimin is pouting. They're helping Ariel prepare for her wedding. Yoongi notices how jittery Jimin is. Originally, he thinks maybe Jimin's throwing hints. So he calls him on it.

And that's when Jimin huffs. "No, pabo! I don't want to marry you (ouch). We spent all that time in the water and I still didn't get to be a merperson!"

Seriously?

If you're wondering if Yoongi caved, you're obviously not reading the same story literally everyone else in every realm of every existence is. Of course he caved. Hello. Man's an entire sap. How could you forget?

If you're wondering how long it took, 2 minutes. Jimin kept not so subtly sliding over to the merfolk in the water. Triton thought he was slick and went to use his staff to turn Jimin. Yoongi, ever the overprotective, jealous fool he is was having none of it.

If anyone is gonna give his baby the pleasure of having fins and whatnot, it's him. So he used the wand.

And like, all things considered, Jimin's a bad bitch in any form but like he really is the Beyonce of merfolk if Yoongi would say so himself.

Not because he's whipped or anything. He is totally observing from very objective eyes.

Except then the ship is sailing off and all these merpeople are trying to initiate mating rituals with his baby. Including that bitch ass Triton! Like sir, do you not already have 78 kids you can't keep track of. And you definitely let your 16 year old daughter get married, hello!

To say Yoongi uttered all iterations of oh hell no is an understatement.

So that's how he, too, ended up in the water. MerYoongi.

He shakes his head at the thought. How Jimin always seems to get him in this mess. But he does find he's a much better swimmer right away than flier. So at least there's that. And he looks on fondly as Jimin flips and flutters and giggles and brags to a best friend that is clearly not here about how he is a mermaid.

Now you're caught up. Hooray.

"Hyung, how do you think they have sex like this?" Jimin blurts.

"A-Are you drunk? Off cartoon wine?" Yoongi responds after blinking several times.

Giggling, Jimin shakes his head. "No, I'm just happy. We didn't stray too far off the story and I get to be a mermaid!"

Beaming, he starts swimming closer to Yoongi. Except he must be doped up on cake sugar or something but he comes in way too hot, way too fast. Naturally, crashing right into Yoongi, who then has to compensate to catch him, which obviously causes the wand to go flying.

"T-The wand! I dropped the wand! We'll get stuck like this." Yoongi panics.

But Jimin is the pinnacle of calm and bliss. "That wouldn't be so bad." He offers, floating on his back.

"Need I remind you, my dear sweet, cute little merbaby, we can't stay here in this story and having that gave us an advantage."

"Oh. Right!" Though he immediately pouts, it dawns on Jimin that they've been above the surface for a while and that wand would be floating or sinking anywhere by now.

He gasps and dives under, Yoongi following close behind them.

So… it's odd. Being able to move and breathe and swim underwater all at the same time. And not having salt burn your eyes. And because it's Disney, they don't have like gills or anything. But still, it's odd. Because Yoongi has great sight under the water where he shouldn't (and typically doesn't).

He's the first to stop the wand, or what he thinks might be the wand. And he goes to point it out to Jimin. But Jimin's back is turned in a split second. So then he just instinctively yells out Jimin's name and shocks himself.

Point is, it works and Jimin, consummate mermaid supreme, takes off after it before it sinks down into an abyss.

Yoongi breathes(?)… there's some kind of movement of relief. Cartoon underwater mermaid breathing (work with us).

He tucks it safely in his mermaid pocket(?) after peppering Jimin's cute mer-face with kisses. MerJimin giggles then starts doing fancy mer-circles in the water.

"Hyung, how fast do you think we both are under here? I bet I could swim faster than you." It's a challenge. And typically, Yoongi would just concede and Jimin would whine about him being no fun.

But how often does one get to be a cartoon mermaid?

So Yoongi takes a page out of the Park Jimin guide to success in life.

"Hana… dul…" And then he's off, cackling as he looks back at a gaping MerJimin.

Jimin shrieks about Yoongi being such an awful goddamn cheater but best believe his little merfins are propelling to catch up.

And Jimin is fast. But Yoongi, with effort is also fast. Somewhere along the way, they're laughing and enjoying themselves, having forgotten it was a race, as they swim in and out of pillars. A giant wall seems to slow them down.

"Wow, hyung, we're pretty far down." Jimin offers after slowing down to take a look around.

There's a path of some kind. And Yoongi loves a good architectural marvel. But it's bothering him that he can't figure out what the hell material it's made from. It’s not entirely sand. It's all too sturdy for that. But it's also not stone… well, he isn't sure.

It's truly irking him so he dives to get a closer look.

"I guess this is where Triton and the merfolk stay." Jimin suggests, looking around not far from him.

There are beautiful scripts and drawings telling stories. Some engraved in the path, others leading up to higher walls. They're definitely reaching merfolk civilization.

"Yeah, last thing I want is for one more of those assholes to try enticing you with their fins on display." Yoongi mentions in disgust, rolling his eyes. "Let's get back to surface, see what land is nearby to figure out where we need to go next, yeah?"

Jimin agrees easily, turning to head back and up. But when they look around, he stops in confusion.

"Hyung, is it me or is this like a cave?"

"Yeah, I think so, or something like that. I think we swam further down than we realized but usually these things have an exit and entry point. So I guess we just need to follow this paved path and hopefully not run into all your paramours."

Jimin giggles, rolling his eyes. "I can't believe you're jealous of some cartoons, hyung."

"Yah! It's your fault for being so sexy!"

They bicker back and forth for a few minutes more before Yoongi points.

"Ahh, see! The water's getting lighter. I think we're on the other side of it and we should be able to get to surface from here."

"Look at my smart geography knowing man. So sexy, hyung." Jimin coos. And yes, MerYoongi has a merblush on his mercheeks but he swims on.

When they reach the surface, Yoongi's expecting many things. What neither of them anticipate, however, are the waterfalls and lush lands. When they look up, they're stunned speechless. Tall walls and monuments, high structures seems to sore even above the clouds.

It's Jimin gasping that draws Yoongi's attention. To demonstrate his finding, he reaches the shore, stepping out of the water on legs.

"Baby, look!" He squeaks enthusiastically.

Not only does Jimin have legs again, but now his hair is like a blue-white color. He's adorned in some kind of traditional wardrobe, adorned with intricate tattoos, pretty jewelry and makeup on his face and a bright crystal around his neck. He twirls around giggling and Yoongi's mouth drops in awe.

"You look so beautiful, yeobo." Yoongi shares affectionately, causing Jimin to blush a bit and grin sheepishly.

"Come on, your turn!" Jimin prompts excitedly. "I want to see you too!"

Yoongi can tell he now has legs, too, when he swims to the shore. He steps out of the water and Jimin tuts.

Jimin steps around him, assessing. "Huh. I wonder why you look so different?"

Looking down, Yoongi's wearing pants and boots, different from the wardrobe Jimin has on. More like military fatigues of some kind.

"You look hot though. With your broad shoulders and your arms showing off all that work you've been doing in the gym." Jimin offers wiggling his eyebrows.

Except this time Yoongi will not fall for it. He tells Jimin as much. "The last time you gave me that look, you pounced me and traumatized yourself because you had to have a long talk with Belle.

That seems to do it. Jimin immediately bristles before pouting. "Why would you even remind me of that?"

"Because you get tunnel vision and as much as I'd like to have a jungle romp right now, we should probably figure out where the hell we are and why I look so different to you."

Jimin mutters and fusses about Yoongi being all responsible and stuff but he still walks with him while they had down a pathway.

Civilization seems to be higher up. And of course, the fussing flips to Yoongi. Complaining and ranting about infrastructure and practicality as he wheezes his way up a long set of winding stone stairs.

It's all fun and games when it's Yoongi that slips, causing Jimin to laugh, until he's just about to fuss at him for being immature when the noise of Jimin's laughter seems to disturb a nest. Except the nest aren't birds. Well, that is, if you're one of those not technical people who has theories. But back to the problem at hand.

"Jimin, that's a pterodactyl. It's a fucking pterodactyl, Jimin. Somehow we're in a Disney version of Jurassic Park. We're going to die. This will be our end."

The winged creatures perch more on the nest, sending both Jimin and Yoongi into a frenzy. The minute one expands its wings, all hell breaks loose. Between the two, neither is sure who hits a higher pitch in their scream octave but they're both scrambling to dive into nearby brush, while holding each other.

Of course, nothing happens because the winged creatures have taken off in another direction, leaving these two fools screaming, crying and almost throwing up.

"So, that happened." Yoongi finally says after a few beats.

"Yeah." Is really all Jimin has to offer.

"If we get out of here, we're never going to bring this up again, yeah?"

"Bring what up, hyung?"

"And that's exactly why I love you, Park Jimin."

They reach whatever apex of where they've been climbing and take a moment to look out. It's majestic. It's breathtaking. Jimin wishes, yet again, he had a camera.

Except they start walking a distance more and Jimin hears voices. Yoongi teases about that but then it becomes quite clear, quite fast that there really are voices.

They try to listen in and duck because after a scuffle breaks out, some people dressed similar to Yoongi are fighting someone that looks like Jimin. But then a gun goes off and they dive out of the way. Yoongi checks to make sure Jimin is safe before they tune back in, hearing, "Mercenary? I prefer the term 'adventure capitalist."

They stay squatted, ducking their way through brush. And when they make it through the clearing, it's even clearer. They follow discreetly, watching as several people break down a door.

"Of fucking course she'd have me defaulted to the enemy." Yoongi mutters, shaking his head in disgust.

"You gotta admit, this is kind of sexy though, hyung. Forbidden lovers vibes." Jimin whispers back, giggling.

"Yeah, if you're into that whole savior comes in and helps a whole civilization that's clearly way more advanced than anything he's ever seen bit."

"See, this is exactly why we suck at roleplay!"

"Baby, don't be upset with me, all I'm saying is we should find some morally reasonable dynamics for our scenes."

"Ugh! And how many times do I have to tell you there's nothing sexy about playing an environmentalist and a whatever that job is. You're making my arm itch."

"I'm pretty sure that's that 10 legged caterpillar alien thing crawling on you. And it's oceanographer. They're very important members of society, Jimin-ah, and if you'd just let me create the scene we could—"

"Hands in the air where I can see them." They hear followed by the sound of a click.

Yoongi looks at Jimin. Jimin looks at Yoongi. They nods silent before raising their hands in their air.

"That's it. Nice and slow. Nice and easy." The person motions with his gun. "You, soldier. What's your detail? How'd you break rank?" He asks, addressing Yoongi after the two stand.

Think, Yoongi. Think.

What would Gong Yoo do? He finds himself asking, trying not to imagine the man standing ominously yet quite sexy.

"Uh… Apologies, s-sir. Caught this one lurking in the bushes so I tried to get answers from him before I went to detain him." Yoongi responds.

"Ah, good eye, scout. Let's get moving. Round this up with the rest. The sooner we get this job done, the sooner we can get the hell out of this godforsaken place."

Jimin scoffs as the soldier pushes him ahead. Still, he gives Yoongi the stink eye.

"Oh so when I said this would be a sexy roleplay, you turn it down but suddenly now you're a regular Lee Byung-hun, huh?" Jimin rattles in Korean. "You're so lucky I know what you're doing and that we're stuck in a cartoon rainforest with a cartoon man pointing a gun at me, otherwise I'd make you sleep on the fucking couch!"

And Yoongi isn't sure where this outburst escalated but he's saved from further scorn when the soldier huffs.

"The hell's he saying? Let's get him over to Thatch to translate. Jesus, I swear the sooner we get out of Atlantis and back to civilization, the better I'll feel."

Atlantis. Of course.

You'd think things might end here. You know, because this is a good and dramatic (dun dun duuuuun) pause point. But pay attention.

Yoongi follows the soldier to where the rest of the crew seem to be gathered at a great building. He slips inside as the soldier pushes Jimin along.

"Yo boss, we got another one. Caught this one lurking in the bushes."

"Round 'im up over there with the others." Rourke replies, waving him off.

Jimin can't even help himself. "Fucking prick," he says in Korean.

Despite the back and forth happening, Yoongi watches as an elder, who seems to be the leader, judging by his energy and tone, turns his head towards Jimin. Then, despite his eyes being glossed over and hazy, he seems to look directly to Yoongi.

"I see you." He responds back, perfectly in fluent Korean. "You both are not from here. You've journeyed from quite far and still have far to go. You don't belong among them."

"Thatch, what's he saying?" Rourke barks, impatiently. "Quit stalling and tell us where the crystal is!"

A guy in glasses seems to be sorting through a book. He scratches the top of his head in confusion. "I-I don't know. I-I'm not picking it up."

"Don't stall on me, Thatch." Rourke forcefully grabs the girl Yoongi saw them drag from a lake earlier. "Tell us where it is."

The King ignores Rourke and presses further. "Come, little one. Tell me, how did you get here?"

There's silence as Yoongi and Jimin look between each other discreetly, until the king nods encouragingly.

"I'm not even sure you'd believe us if we told you, Jeonha." Jimin shares, respectfully.

"Thatch, what the hell are they speaking?! What are they saying?!"

"I-I'm not sure. It actually sounds like it could be Sino-Xenic." Thatch offers, clearly stumped.

The king continues in a sagely manner. "There is not much I don't already know, my child. Fear not. I'm afraid we will not be together long but I can offer you this," then he turns in Yoongi's direction. "Speak in their language, tell them what they want to hear. When you remain together, your problems will resolve and your path will clear."

Yoongi looks at Jimin. Jimin looks at Yoongi. They both shrug subtly.

The big soldier guy in charge seems to be trying to rough up the glasses wearing guy. While this goes on, the king points towards a body of water in the middle of the throne space.

"Tell them it is there, my child." He offers, speaking to Yoongi.

"Uhh… h-he says the thing you're looking for is there…" Yoongi offers, pointing in its direction.

Rourke seems to follow Yoongi's direction. "The heart of Atlantis lies in the eyes of her— You! You understand them? They didn't tell me there was another one of you. Come with me." He barks, motioning to Yoongi. Then he points towards Jimin. "Bring him. Lock the girl up with Thatch and the others."

"Ask him how to get to it." Rourke demands of Yoongi.

"Jeonha, we came from another realm. Imagine telling stories of your people and then suddenly you become trapped in that story with those characters. Where we come from, we view this as a story, in a book or a picture in motion, and we somehow got pulled into this story." Yoongi tries to explain. "We've been trying to blend in to get through to what we hope will bring us back to where we're from."

The King snorts. "You've not done a great job of it. Blending that is."

Jimin can't help his own snort that escapes.

"Where there is love, there is always light that will guide you home, my children. Regardless of what realm this is, these people are overly consuming. Be diligent and wise. Always trust each other. Tell them my words are that they will destroy themselves."

"Yes, Jeonha." Yoongi then turns towards Rourke. "He says you will destroy yourselves."

Then the next thing Yoongi knows, the burly mercenary is pummeling his fist into the king's side. Even Yoongi has a reaction, especially as Jimin instinctively moves to grab for the man but is pulled forcefully back. Then Rourke's barking demands with a gun out, a medic is rushing to his aid while the girl tries to fight off the soldiers blocking her. She's able to get to Rourke but is taken down by the blonde woman and a few soldiers, as they draw weapons. Thatch is pleading to get Rourke to reconsider and what happens next, happens so fast.

Rourke signals the blonde to grab Jimin. He steps into the middle of where the water converges and it starts to rumble beneath him.

"You, soldier, come with me. Thatch is useless, you'll get his cut." he says to Yoongi.

Then they descend into some kind of cave and nerd Yoongi would find this so cool. But it's sensory overload right now considering he isn't sure whether or not they can truly be hurt by those guns.

"Yoongi, I love you and I trust you and we make a great team, but if I die as a cartoon, so help me, I am going to haunt you for the rest of your life. Do you understand me? I thought you said we were following romance! How is this a romance?"

"What does he know? What's he saying?" Rourke demands.

"Baby, I… we're gonna get out of here. I just don't know how yet but you know, team work and all, I'm open to suggestions?"

"I suggest you don't get me killed, Min Yoongi." Jimin seethes.

Think, Yoongi, think.

Okay. Ancient but advanced civilization. Greedy entity looking to rob, pillage and plunder. Tale as old as time. Wait… wrong movie.

"He's uhh… he's saying he doesn't know how to get it down because I think it might be the source of their spirituality." He improvises.

That sounded credible right? These things are all the same. The man could careless what Yoongi says and he knows it. But the point is he's just trying to make sure Jimin isn't being manhandled and he runs the risk of exposing them because he can't control his temper.

A gun clicks and Rourke chuckles. "Well then I guess we'll have to give him some motivation."

And that is the story of how Jimin was backing away from said gun and accidentally suspended himself into the air over 100 feet and started glowing like he was suspended in the Avatar State and in the back of his mind, Yoongi is impressed but in the front of his mind, alarmed because they've put glowy Avatar State Jimin into some kind of bunker and locked him up, trying to whisk him off.

Chapter Text

"Ahh… okay, okay. So the key to making a good roux is timing and how much you whisk. Fascinating. I always wondered about that when I saw it on… well that's not important. Anyway, the point is we have similar dishes back home too but we use slightly different ingredients and rice water… that is, the water from washing the rice, to thicken the sauce instead since it also has starch." Yoongi mentions as he jots down notes. "You call this gumbo, we call ours jjigae."

"Jjigae." Tiana repeats in her southern lilt, leaning over Yoongi's shoulder. Yoongi nods appreciatively at her pronunciation. "How 'bout that Buford? We all got plenty more in common than we think."

Buford lets out a boisterous laugh, slapping Yoongi affectionately on his back. "You like good food, you like jazz, you sharp as a tack. You know for a Chinaman, you get us pretty decent."

"Ahh, not China, my friend. Kind of close to there but not really." He looks around. "Here, maybe I could... would either of you have a world map?" He asks and Tiana pulls a roll from a drawer.

"Never thought I'd get a lick of use from this thing. My daddy kept this from his time in the war. Just figured I'd keep it..." She offers, delighted but also displaying something else in her eyes.

Unrolling, he nods in thanks and hopes to convey understanding. Then he points and they all follow his finger. "This island here, Korea. That's where I'm from. Joseon." He offers proudly.

Before they can continue on their geographic journey, the front door to the restaurant bursts open dramatically with a loud BOOM. In the doorway stands a heaving, soaking wet, disheveled Park Jimin. One look on his face and Yoongi already knows…

"Min. Yoongi." He seethes.

"They got the doghouse in Korea, too?" Buford asks before whistling and turning away with a face that clearly says 'yikes, glad it's not me'

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

If you've been paying attention at all to this whole tale, you're probably wondering how the hell we got here. And if you're not yet fully sure, because maybe you live in a hole or somewhere remote, here is New Orleans in the era of the birth of jazz. So if at any point you guessed that our hapless pair would make it to where a princess and a frog fall in love, congratulations. You get bragging rights.

But author-nim? Weren't they just in Atlantis a chapter ago? Why yes, yes they were.

Adventures in Atlantis aren't adventures at all. Yoongi and Jimin would actually like to forget Atlantis. Except maybe the part where Jimin looked like the Avatar and Princess Yue at the same time. That part, for a split second, was pretty damn cool. The rest? Yeaaaah. In fact, it gets a bit dark.

See, where we last left off, Jimin somehow got suspended into the air way above any height Yoongi could realistically or cartoonically reach. Jimin became an unwilling host to the crystal's power. Yoongi snuck behind the truck that loaded Jimin into some kind of bunker and started loosening screws where he could. When Thatch and his team decided to defect after Rourke cracked him in the jaw, Yoongi quickly hid before anyone could see him. He heard the doctor call for Thatch and followed. The king, on brink of death, confessed to his own lust for power and Yoongi put a few things together.

"Did you use us?” He'd asked, scathingly. He intentionally chose to address him in Korean. 

The others, startled by his presence, try to figure out what he's saying and whether or not he is an enemy left behind.

The king admitted, in a language they all understand, that he knew what Rourke was after and used Yoongi and Jimin to take his sight away from his daughter. The problem was that Yoongi called him out over the fact that the crystal's power, when threatened was supposed to host royal blood. Neither Jimin nor his ancestors come from royalty but Yoongi's did.

"Are you going to your deathbed lying to these people?" 

And that's when the king shared, to Yoongi only, before taking his last breath, that they have different type of magic that was able to bypass their laws of nature. And all magic, as they say, comes with a price.

"That price was not for you to decide who pays."

Yoongi then decided it was necessary to let the others know he could communicate with them as well. Although the princess is safe, if they did not act quickly, the entirety of Atlantis would collapse. He even grabbed Milo by the collar and told him to use his savior complex for something other than destruction and that seemed to be the kick in the ass the linguist needed.

Yoongi is nothing, if not a practical man. He may be a cartoon and that does a lot to stretch reality but animated or not, he's no pilot and he sure as hell isn't trying to kill anyone even if he came close with that king. Rather than trying to pilot his own, especially after the Merryweather debacle, he hops on the back of one of the Atlanteans' gliders, telling them to wait and use evasive maneuvers as much as possible.

He's never seen this movie. But he knows how Disney movies are supposed to play out. He's hoping they didn't cause so much of a ripple in the script where now he has to figure out how to play hero at such high stakes. Threatening a beast or helping a girl find her voice is one thing. Heavy artillery with a dash of steampunk is another. 

Still, he tells his new friend to wait. Just in case they need to think and move quickly. He keeps his eye on the bunker the entire time. Helga goes flying and hits the ground right by them. Whatever was exchanged between her and Rourke clearly pissed her off enough for her to blast the dirigible and that's what Yoongi needed. What he did not need though was a damn volcano to literally erupt. Or for Jimin to once again become Princess Yue. But then these really scary but kickass robot soldiers morphed out of the ground and protected the land. And Jimin was able to bring the Princess her mother's bracelet.

When Jimin lands in Yoongi's arms, Yoongi is worried and looking for any signs of life. The first thing Jimin says is, "you owe me a week's worth of back rubs, no complaints." Yeah, he's okay.

Milo decides to stay but Jimin and Yoongi take the flight back to the surface with the others. They have to watch the Mole man closely but everyone is relatively chill and the journey to the surface is uneventful. They cuddle the entire time and the only thing Yoongi says to acknowledge what happened is, "apparently they might have stolen the whole storyline from anime" to which Jimin responds, "stealing seems like second nature for all parties involved."

When they're on US soil, the first port is in Louisiana, before they depart further north. As soon as the two step off the ship, not before Yoongi stuffs both his and Jimin's pockets with treasures for just compensation, they land into Roaring Twenties New Orleans. They take that as their sign that this is their next destination.

Yoongi realizes it because of the music. Jimin realizes it because of the date on the newspaper. Yoongi calls him a show off.

Jimin scoffs, "says the music nerd. Look at me, I'm Min Yoongi. I'm sooo smart when I'm fangirling about the Jazz Age."

"You literally do not get hip hop without the birth of jazz, Jimin." Yoongi retorts, affronted.

Jimin snorts, patting Yoongi's chest. "But I'm the show off."

The piano's hot. They're greeted by a band right at the dock. Our favorite pair are back to bickering. And that's what you missed on Glee.

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"What do you mean the deviations stopped?” Superior Gloriana demands. She'd taken over for Superior Jinglejangle after the fairy had become faint from shock.

The Queen Mother stands directly to her side, ever the epitome of grace, staring intently at the screen.

Our favorite fae, who's been losing sleep over whether or not he caused this whole mess, tries not to bite his nails in nervousness. He looks on with the few others who have continued to work endlessly to sort through these deviations.

The technical fairy sitting in front of the screen moves with speed, pulling out their pointer. "This line is our baseline, as we all know." They use the pointer, dragging it across the screen to indicate a long horizontal line. Next, they point to the lines splitting in different directions. "And these, as we know, are deviations."

Someone faints in the background while others gasp again. (Insert dramatic music because dun dun dunnnn). 

They clear their throat and continue, "We can trace the beginning of a pattern from here," they offer, circling at the beginning of the horizontal line, "but the separated lines stop here," they add, circling towards the middle of the baseline. "If we can understand what these deviations mean, why they've stopped and where, we might be able to stop the continuation."

Superior Gloriana rubs her chin, pacing in thought. "What say you, Queen Mother?"

"Trace the origins of this baseline. Find where the deviation occurs at each of those points where the separations start. Send your best to investigate those points. If there is a pattern, we need to be ahead of it to avoid another occurring. We must make haste."

"Yes Queen Mother!" Everyone, including our leading fae shouts.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

"Hyung, I wonder what's going on over there…” There being a ship Jimin points to that has a large welcoming crowd on the same dock. 

A man with a dashing smile and chiseled jaw line comes flying down the gangway with a song in his hips and mischief in his smile. Following him, a portly, grumbling fellow, who looks the epitome of over it while juggling loads of bags. Yoongi's eyes light up when a jazz band makes their way over.

"Jimin-ah, look!" He reels, grabbing the younger into some form of a Yoongi jig (which mostly him wiggling while also flinging Jimin around). The younger giggles, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, they've got the spirit," the dashing man chants, pointing towards flailing, wiggling Yoonmin. 

Jimin gasps, hopping on the balls of his feet. "Oh! Hyung, hyung! I know this one!"

"So the whole New Orleans, jazz band thing didn't give it away?" Yoongi responds, dryly and sarcastically. But then he jumps back when Jimin swings around with an accusing finger.

Jimin grits his teeth, poking Yoongi in the chest. "My brain could still be scrambled from whatever the hell happened when I was suspended in the air like a Jimin kite. You are not allowed any snark for at least three more movies."

Before Yoongi can retort (because he really cannot help himself in getting that last word), Jimin's stomach speaks for both of them. "I didn't even know I could be cartoon hungry like this.” He admits, sheepishly.

"I could go for something myself. And now, we have resources." Yoongi reminds him, pointing to their overstuffed pockets, with an eyebrow wiggle.

"Hyung, that's a good idea! We should probably see what we can get in exchange for some of this so then we can get food and I can't wait to try the fashion! Maybe I'll stop and get fitted for a suit to look the part."

"Well, we just saw the prince so we probably need to get a move on, soon. I'm not saying no suits but we're probably going to be swamp creatures soon. The princess doesn't stay human for long." Yoongi offers, ushering Jimin in the direction of where he thinks he smells food. "Wait! Wait, Jimin-ah, the food might actually be good this time! We're in New Orleans! Excuse me, where can we get some really good food?” Yoongi finds himself asking a seaman.

"Why, Duke's, of course! Can't miss it going that way."

They head further down the pier towards what appears to be busy, bumbling paved roads. They're just about to exit the pier when another jazz band parades through.

"Is this how New Orleans always is?" Jimin asks aloud over the crowd, tapping his feet along with the rhythm and smiling at how Yoongi is swaying. They're dancing again. Yoongi twirls Jimin and they both regale in live music.

"Of course. But it's also Mardi Gras, baby!” A trumpeter shares and that seems to get more people excited. 

Now, the reader might be thinking, this has been an awful lot of dialogue lately without any mishaps. And the reader would be correct. Because these two are a walking mishap waiting to happen. So much so, the rush of people first separates Yoongi and Jimin, naturally. And even more naturally, our resident music nerd is so caught in the moment, he forgets he comes in a pair for a split second. Long enough to be pushed in one direction with the band while Jimin is spun in a completely different direction. That direction would be off the pier and right into the water.

Yoongi turns with the biggest grin spread across his face, "I don't know if I even want to leave…"

He turns his head in both direction, looking to see where Jimin went as the crowd parts. And let it not be said that Yoongi is nothing short of a thoughtful boyfriend. He's just about to retrace his steps and figure out where Jimin went off to, but it's as he looks up to his left, he notices the very place they were recommended.

"Did he stop and get a suit first?" Yoongi's wondering. Since they both were headed to Duke's, he figures rather than retracing and getting lost, he'll stay there, knowing Jimin will find him.

But Jimin? Oh, sweet, gentle Jimin. 

It took Jimin quite some time, actually, to get out of the water. Why, you ask, because after getting baptized by the Mighty Mississippi, as soon as he surfaced, he was no longer cartoon human Jimin. He's duckling Jimin, who had to fight off two really overzealous seagulls in his tiny duckling body. But if there is one thing he has that not even those seagulls has, it's a lot of sass. Suffice to say, every seagulls in the state of Louisiana got the message to back off. Jimin has to hop his little body up the wooden structures of the pier. It's a lot.

Somewhere along the way, he switched back to cartoon human Jimin, which allows him to make that last bit of climb to land with a growl that could rival The Lion King. "I'm going to curse him out in every language known to man when I see him."

He's still a sopping mess as he tries to get some sense of direction. A local points him to where he needs to go (with a bit of judgment at his current state but then backs off when he sees the death glare). He’s in his own world. Thinking of all the ways he could get back at Yoongi, Jimin is in his head as he turns the corner, passing a few people. But something, or someone, or something and someone, catches his eye, stopping him in his tracks. Shadows.

A cold chill rises up his wet, cartoon version of his body before he hears or sees it. There is a power here that feels almost otherworldly (and that's saying a lot for a cartoon). He didn't even notice this sort of energetic shift when he and Yoongi met the fairy godmother, though he shudders at the thought of running into her again.

The man who just walked by him also pauses. They turn towards each other at the same time. He's lanky, mysterious and Jimin knows exactly who he is. He suspects he knows Jimin too. "How peculiar..."

The sudden, keen interest, the way he looks Jimin up and down with intrigued and leering eyes, the way the shadows are meant to be hidden but slowly starts to dance around Jimin, it's everything he needs to know to square his shoulders.

"Ya know, I can help fix your problem." He offers and Jimin doesn't need more context to get an inkling. He means to encourage Jimin to take a deal with the thought that he will help he and Yoongi return home.

"No." He commands, hoping he's speaking with conviction. "You have things to do and so do I.” 

Dr. Facilier raises an eyebrow as if something in this exchange confirmed some lingering suspicions. But the way Jimin sees it, and the way he can feel the hairs on the back of his neck raise, especially knowing how this plot pans out, and knowing what type of man he is dealing with, there's no point in pretending he’s just some mere local.

Chuckling, he tips his hat towards Jimin, with the grace of a gentleman. "No fret then, I'm most certain I'll be seeing you again. Ain't that right, my friends? à bientôt."

The shadows dance around Facilier again and it takes everything in Jimin not to break his resolve. It makes his skin crawl but he refuses to turn his back to this man.

He waves one more time before turning another corner, away from Jimin. He finally shivers and it feels like the air has changed yet again, less dense, like he can breathe. There was a power there that Jimin has no name for but is adding to his list of reasons to fillet Min Yoongi.

When he gets to the cafe, he knows it immediately. Why? Because he can see his good-for-nothing boyfriend, not at a table. No. Of course not. He's in the damn kitchen with the staff, chopping it up like they're just the best of friends.

So yes, Jimin is a bit emotionally charged after the last few encounters and so yes, he definitely comes busting into the cafe ready to sear Yoongi right on the grill.

"Jimin-ah... w-why are you..."

Jimin holds up a hand to stop him. "Don't you dare. Do not ask me that question. You come out of that kitchen right now with a towel, Min Yoongi."

Yoongi grins sheepishly, tugging at his color. "Buford-hyung, Tiana, this is my Jimin I was telling you about. Jimin-ah, this is Buford-hyung and Tiana."

They both smile graciously and Tiana immediately comes out with a giant towel, bringing him to a table to sit. "Let's get you dried up and I'll fix you up a nice plate of something special, sugar."

Once toweled off, he glares at Yoongi, but not too much. Just enough to let him know they will talk later. But he can't be too upset at the hospitality and warm energy in the cafe. Tiana puts a warm bowl in front of him and any last bit of angst left in his cold, feisty heart melts at the first bite. Yoongi grins, sitting at the table with him. 

"And for you, good sir. Let me know if this is like your jjigae,” she teases, place a bowl of gumbo in front of Yoongi.

Jimin lights up. "Hyung, you told her about jjigae?"

To this, Yoongi nods, excitedly. "I watched her put the ingredients together and I thought, wow this is a bit similar. We exchanged recipes." He takes his first spoonful and it nearly brings him to tears.

Finally, food. Seasoned food.

"This better be one of your main courses at that fancy new restaurant!" He announces, "10 out of 10, right Jimin-ah?"

Jimin, whose face is nearly morphed into the bowl, looks up from scarfing down his food. He smiles brightly, remnants left on his face, nodding emphatically. "It's really good. I feel so warm on the inside, thank you.” He offers with a sincere bow.

Tiana seems very tickled by this feedback, "hear that, Buford? Two satisfied customers." Pleased, she heads to a backroom, seemingly grabbing ingredients.

Buford lets out a jovial laugh, shaking his head, as he returns back to cleaning his station.

"Tiana needs to make a lot of beignets. I told her we could stay and help her. And in exchange, all the food we want for free.” Yoongi shares. "A-Are you okay? I'm sorry I lost you earlier. I thought maybe you went to get a fancy suit like you said and figured instead of doubling back and getting lost, I'd stay put here." He asks, lower.

"And find your way into the kitchen and make best friends with the staff." Jimin adds, shaking his head and chuckling. "You're lucky you're so cute, hyung. When we got separated, you got to do your grapevines and cut a rug while I got knocked on my ass, right in the water. Don't you dare laugh." He threatens, trying to hold in his own laugh. "As soon as I hit the water, I got turned back into a duck, hyung!" He whispers.

"A duck? Okay so no water… wait, how are we supposed to survive this plot without getting in the water?" Yoongi huffs, lowering his head in defeat. "We're definitely going to have to help her as woodland creatures."

"Hyung, that's not even the biggest worry right now." Jimin warns, inching closer to whisper more. "When I was headed here, I ran into Dr. Facilier. He knows we're here, Yoongi. He said he'll be seeing us again soon and tried to get me to make a deal with him to get us back home. What if he goes rogue and doesn't stick to the plot now? What if he knows we're carrying all this gold and ditches the prince for us?"

Yoongi wants to curse but after the last ordeal, he just makes a few onomatopoeias that sound close enough to it under his breath. "I-I don't know. Let's keep an eye on her and make sure she gets the beignets to the party. For now, we should get ourselves in order and then we'll tail her closely. There's a tailor a few doors down and a bank on the corner. I already checked. We're waiting for the dough to rise so we have time to run some errands and if he starts following us, we'll come back here, okay? But hopefully, he's more enticed by the prince."

“I guess we can cash a little bit at a time to not draw too much attention, hopefully. But I don't know, hyung. He just… the energy around him felt stranger than anything I've felt so far. Even different from meeting the Fairy Godmother. I can't describe it fully but it was powerful. Even for a cartoon. The last thing we need is for him to be on our you know whats."

"Maybe because the origins of his character is rooted in real spiritual practices?" Yoongi guesses. "We have two advantages, though. I have that wand still and we know this movie well. Also, you said yourself, he kept walking after trying to shake you down. I think we're ahead on this one, Jimin-ah."

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Min Yoongi should know by this point in this tale to watch his words. Alas.

As you may have guessed, they are, in fact, not ahead. Or well... that is, Yoongi is not ahead. Jimin? Is trapped in a bayou, after getting his little duckling foot tangled in balloon strings with a newly turned frog prince, after not so kindly yelling, "Seriously?! Why do I always have to be the damsel in the air? You better find me, quickly, Min Yoongi or I swear, among the long list of ways I'm fantasizing right this second to threaten you with bodily harm, I will sue you!"

How did we get here? Well, Yoongi and Jimin finished their to do's (got some swanky new threads, traded some gold from their Atlantis debacle adventures, learned how to make and taste test beignets... you know, the usual).

"I get it," Jimin offers, giggling at how Yoongi's flour deep in beignet creating with his own mini concert in the baking corner he carved out for himself.

Jimin doesn't really fair much better. They keep sending each other fond, googly eyes. Yoongi has to turn away from Jimin because if he looks at the flour on his little cartoon nose one more time, he's going to lose it and his animated heart might explode right there. Instead, he chooses to be on powdered sugar duty, wiggling his hips to the jazz band playing on the radio.

"Yoongi's really good at reminding me that resting is just as important as having drive and determination. Sometimes, I can get really intense on my visions, you know? So all I'm saying is your vision is beautiful and I believe you can achieve, just make sure you're here to enjoy it too, okay?"

They had been getting to know each other since Yoongi got to earlier when Jimin got knocked into the water. After asking about things she likes to do, she struggled to really give him a clear answer and Jimin understands (because he's seen the movie 1000x but also because he's been there).

Tiana cocks her head in contemplation and thanks Jimin kindly. They both giggle watching Yoongi embody his best Cab Calloway or whatever it is he's doing.

"See," Jimin points out, shaking his head grinning. "He is the hardest working man I know. Do you know how many times I had to remind him to actually come home, take a shower, eat...? And yet he still reminds me not to go too hard.” He shakes his head, fondly. “But see, look at this silly man. It’s possible to live out your dream and have a little bit of time to take moments for yourself, have joy, love, whatever you want that makes you happy."

Tiana nods, wistfully. "I... I just feel like I owe it to my daddy, owe it to myself to see out our dream and it doesn't leave me much room for much else. It's just... my friends, they do invite me out to things, sure, but I don't have time. Not if I want to get this restaurant before that other bidder closes…” She points to the trays of beignets as if to signify her lack of time for much else. 

Jimin takes Tiana's hand, gently. Trying to remember not to damage the storyline too much, he chooses his words intentionally, "I get the feeling just from this conversation that your appa would be proud of you no matter what you did. But you don't have to have all the answers right now. You'll figure it out. Maybe not now, maybe not even tomorrow but I think you will. And Yoongi and I will cheer you on!"

After that lovely pep talk, a flour fight and bellies stuffed full of southern confections, Tiana insists they go find some costumes to join Mr. La Bouff's masquerade as her guests and experience Mardi Gras the proper way. 

Jimin chose a beautiful all white ensemble with dark feathers and a swan mask and for Yoongi, cat ears and whiskers in all black, naturally. It wasn't even Jimin's pick but when the elder popped up, he started wheezing.

"What? I'm cute." Yoongi insisted. "Look, Jimin-ah, we’re like a fancy chess board or piano keys! I think Tiana will love it."

Shaking his head with an endearing grin, he places his arm into the fold of Yoongi's. "Hyung, I know you're excited but remember, we promised no more major deviations. She's a sweet girl but we can't get too close to where it changes the plot."

As hard as it is, Yoongi reluctantly agrees. "It's a good thing we're not her parents, jagiya. I don't know how I'd even broach the topic of her getting married at 19." 

"Oh, I know, right? And I really want to suss out this Prince Naveen and make sure he's actually worthy of our girl." At this, Yoongi frowns, huffing his agreement, causing Jimin to laugh at both of their shenanigans. "Look at us being all protective and stuff, hyung. We have girls."

They make it to Mr. La Bouff's fancy mansion and are greeting enthusiastically. There's punch, wine, some tango. A debaucherous time to be had. When they arrive at Tiana's beignet table, she's squeals in delight. "I saw you two out there on the dance floor, looking mighty fine, gentlemen! Why, don't you two clean up so nicely?"

They offer to help pass out treats but soon they're met by the roundest eyes and the fluffiest face. 

"Hyung..." Jimin whispers, trying to get Yoongi's attention, who is holding court with the band conductor, naturally. "Yoongi-hyung!" He whispers louder, pulling at the cat man's sleeve.

"Yes, love, what is i—" Yoongi pauses before looking in Jimin's direction. "No. Don't make me decide this for you, she looked at you first. You just have to stay strong."

"I can't, Yoongi! Look at her face." Jimin whines.

"This is exactly why Jeonggukie gets everything he wants and is always at our house." Yoongi counters, shaking his head.

Jimin turns, placing his hands on his hips, perturbed. "Excuse you, that is 100% your doing, Mr. I organized a whole section in our kitchen and labelled it JK snacks. And I don't see you offering any helpful solutions now either."

Before they can continue bickering, Tiana finishes with a senator and takes one look. "Stella... Stella, no." But, naturally, she too is not immune and the pup wins out to the relief of our favorite pair.

"Don’t worry, she gets me every time.” Tiana assures just as her best friend is having a fit and they finally get to meet the bright, dynamic, force of nature that is one Miss Charlotte La Bouff.

She gets distracted long enough to give Jimin and Yoongi a once over before adding, "Tia, you didn't tell me you were in such handsome company," before batting her lashes at Yoongi. "You wouldn't happen to be a prince, would ya?"

Jimin snorts, causing Yoongi to go from a proud blush to a perturbed scoff. "He wishes. But he's also well spoken for. You look breathtaking in that gown, by the way."

Charlotte does a full 360 twirls before agreeing then looks between the two, letting out a shriek so high pitched, Yoongi can swear Stella, who is all the way across the yard, ducks to cover her ears. "I love love." She shares dreamily.

"Lottie, these are my friends, just new in town, Jimin and Yoongi. They were kind enough to help make sure you got those beignets just like you asked. Yoongi, Jimin, this is Miss Charlotte La Bo—"

Before she can even finished, Yoongi and Jimin are having the life squeezed out of them before being invited to upcoming nuptials and a desire to meet whoever helped them tailor their wardrobe tonight.

"Uh Lottie, you were saying something about napkins." Attempting to help her new friends breathe.

"Oh dear God, yes. I got so distracted by beauty, I... Tia, I swear I'm sweating like a sinner in church."

Jimin eyes Yoongi. Yoongi eyes Jimin. They’re nailing this right now. "We'll man the table, why don't you go help her freshen up a bit." Jimin leans over to Tiana and whispers.

"Hyung, we are so doing good right now. We haven't messed too much up once!” Jimin squeals in delight.

Yoongi has to agree. He's shocked by how good they're being. Still, ever the realist, he shares, "We just gotta keep at this pace, baby. Only thing is, do we follow them to the bayou or hang here for when they get back? What do you think?"

Jimin bites his bottom lip, contemplating. "I mean we should probably lay low around here and try not to run into he who shall not be named." He whispers.

Yoongi rolls his eyes. "He's not Voldemort, Jimin-ah."

"No, I'm pretty sure he's more powerful. And are you even supposed to cross-reference other movies in a movie?"

"We're stuck in an animation in the middle of animated New Orleans, preparing for two people to turn into frogs, Jiminie, while ducking an animated version of something really ancient and potentially could wipe us out with a blink. I think it's more than okay. Hopefully, we can just lay low for some hours, maybe find a place to lay our heads for the night without drawing too much attention."

Nodding, Jimin adds, "it beats you having to be a real catfish this time, because, you know... bayou, swamp,” to which Yoongi shudders.

No thanks, good riddance.

The fanfare announces the arrival of Nega Naveen and Tiana takes her place back at the table, tickled by her friend's antics and excitement. She gestures to Yoongi and Jimin, encouraging them to go watch the prince's waltz. Yoongi's just about to move easily but the air near the table shifts to that of microaggressions and smugness. The Fenner Brothers. Yoongi damn near growls, causing Jimin to react quickly, pulling him away before he makes a scene and they accidentally deviate. (Not before leveling them both with a scathing sassy eye that makes them both shudder before returning back to Tiana.)

If you know anything of this tale, that is, the original Disney version of the tale, you know at around this point, Tiana is loathing at being almost there. But really, it's Yoongi and Jimin who were so close, and yet...

Everything to propel the story that is supposed to happen, does happen. The prince and Tiana kiss. She's turned into a frog. They fly out of the window, into the party. Yoongi and Jimin follow their trajectory in excitement of how things are actually going to plan this time.

Except, they don't account for Stella's enthusiasm.

In the dog's effort to get the rogue frogs, she barrels right into Yoongi, who lands flat on his ass. But something about the angle and force causes some of the magic from the wand he hijacked picked up a few chapters ago to explode out. Jimin misses this, too busy clutching his middle as he wheezes at a sore butt Yoongi. Perhaps had Jimin been looking, he might have been able to dodge in time.

Alas.

Instead the magic bounces off a perfectly timed flying serving tray and zaps him right in the forehead. The force of the zap not only transforms him into a cygnet but also sends him flying across the table, just in time to barrel into Frog Tiana, knocking her out of the way. He keeps rolling, crashing into Frog Naveen and careening into a string balloons.

His little webbed cygnet foot gets tangled, causing him to hang upside down as the balloons take off.

"Seriously?! Why do I always have to be the damsel in the air? You better find me, quickly, Min Yoongi or I swear, among the long list of ways I'm fantasizing right this second to threaten you with bodily harm, I will sue you!" are Jimin's last words before he and Frog Naveen get floated off into the abyss.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

"Voodoo?! You mean to tell me this all happened 'cause that pompous fool was messing with the Shadow Man?!" Tiana asks Yoongi in disbelief. “How do you even know this, Yoongi? And how on earth did you become a cat?"

He, too, would like to ask himself the same thing.

They really were almost there.