Chapter Text
It was hot. Too hot. Neva could never sleep when it was this hot, it almost felt like the weather was trying to suffocate her or something. ‘What time is it?’ She wondered as she looked out the window next to her bed, it was likely around midnight if she were to guess. Neva had been tossing and turning ever since she had gone to her room and tried to sleep; but she knew what some of her problem was. She was restless. The Captain hadn’t sent her out on a mission for nearly two weeks and she was beginning to develop cabin fever. Neva at first thought maybe the Captain was giving her a well deserved rest; but after three days of not being sent anywhere she began to grow concerned. ‘Have I done something wrong? Did I screw up the last mission somehow?’ Were the first thoughts that ran through her mind.
Growing tired of letting her mind race, Neva threw her blankets off and opened her window. She sighed in relief as a cool breeze swept through and she already began to feel a lot better. Neva rested her arms against the window sill and just stared out over the grounds of their headquarters, she had felt very lucky to have made it into what was considered the strongest squad in the Clover Kingdom. Most people would kill to be where she was, and yet she didn’t feel satisfied with her place in the squad. Neva didn’t just want to be a member of the Golden Dawn she wanted to lead the Golden Dawn. Eventually. That was her goal; to become the Captain and lead the squad just like their current Captain has. But first she had to work her way up through the ranks and in order for that to happen, she needed to be sent out on missions and do well.
Neva was startled out of her thoughts as she saw a flicker of orange out of the corner of her eye. It was a lantern. She sat up straight as she looked down, there wasn’t only just one lantern but two. ‘What are they doing out so late?’ She wondered as she leaned forward slightly, all she could make out was two mens silhouettes before the light of the lanterns illuminated their faces. It was Exto and Lumis, ‘Oh that’s right; they went out on a mission this afternoon.’ She sighed in relief as she suddenly remembered that fact, she had been so consumed by her thoughts she had nearly failed to notice anyone from the squad was missing. Neva made a mental note to never let that happen again.
“ Geez that mission was a pain in the ass.” Lumis’ voice traveled up to Neva’s window, she wasn’t one to eavesdrop but she was genuinely curious about their conversation.
“ I agree. But someone had to do it and the Captain seemed to think you and I were more than capable to handle it.” Exto’s deep voice boomed, even if her window was closed Neva was sure she could still hear Exto speak. Neva swore she could almost see Lumis’s eyes roll at his answer.
“ Yeah but it would’ve been a lot easier if we had someone like Neva with us.” Lumis looked over at Exto. “ Why hasn’t the Captain sent her out on any missions recently anyway?”
“ I don’t know. But I’m sure the Captain has his reasons.” Was Exto’s short reply, Neva huffed in annoyance. Of course he wouldn’t know, the only person that would possibly know were the Captain and the Vice Captain. Suddenly the lanterns stopped moving, she could see what appeared to be Lumis turn toward Exto.
“ What’s her deal anyway?” Exto hummed at the question, almost like he was confused. “ I mean, she’s cold. She’ll only go out on solo missions, she doesn’t hardly speak to anyone, does anyone even know anything about her other than what type of magic she wields?” Lumis finished exasperated. Neva watched him visibly relax, as though a weight had been lifted off his chest. It was a long minute before Exto replied.
“ So?” Was his curt reply, both Neva and Lumis were shocked at Exto’s bluntness. “ She’s a private person. Just because someone doesn’t want to share their entire life’s story, like you, doesn’t make them a bad person. If Neva wants you to know about her life, than she’ll tell you.” Exto began to walk again after finishing his sentence while Lumis gaped at him like a fish out of water.
“ I-I don’t share my entire life’s story with everyone!” Lumis shouted, and a snort was his reply. He huffed indignantly before continuing, “ I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t like her, I don’t trust her, and apparently I’m not the only one. How could I trust someone who doesn’t even want to get to know anyones names?” Neva’s heart sank at this, ‘But, I do know your name Lumis. I know everyone's name.’ If anything that was one thing she made sure she did, she made sure to commit every single persons name to memory.
Exto stopped to look at Lumis, a thoughtful look on his face, as though he were weighing his words. “ You don’t have to like her. But I would recommend trusting her-“ He held up his hand as Lumis began to interrupt. “ Neva is one of the strongest in this squad, which you have admitted. I would rather have her fight alongside me than against me. Besides, if the Captain trusts her than so do I.” Exto began walking again and Lumis slowly followed. Neva decided it would be best if she closed her windows and stopped eavesdropping.
Neva sat with her back against her head-board and began to think. ‘So, that's what everyone thinks of me? That I’m cold?’ A part of her felt disheartened at the thought that some of her squad mates felt like she didn’t care about them, that she couldn’t be trusted to watch their backs. But at the same time that's what she wanted; she wanted them to stay at a distance. There was a reason Neva didn’t let anyone get close, she refused to lose anyone she was close to ever again. Her heart couldn’t take that kind of pain again. So it was best for everyone if she kept herself closed off, or at least in her mind it was. ‘It’s better this way.’ She concluded with a nod of her head, ‘It’s the only way to keep myself and everyone safe! But-‘ a small voice in her head spoke. ‘Is it really keeping anyone else safe? I mean, from what I can tell, the only one it’s keeping safe is you.’ Neva shook her head forcefully, she knew it was her conscience speaking but right now she really didn’t feel like listening to it.
With a quiet sigh, Neva laid back down in her bed and closed her eyes, deciding it would be in her best interest to get some sleep. After all, the magic knights entrance exam was tomorrow, she silently wondered if they would receive any new recruits.