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Chapter Text

Sometimes, if Barty and Quico were lucky, they were allowed a moment's peace, together in the early hours of the morning. Sometimes the morning was so dark and dreary that the children preferred to stay in bed. This was one of those blessed occasions, the rain cascading down their bedroom window as Barty, still half asleep and dreaming, reached over and placed his arm around his wife.

Quico felt the warmth of his embrace, her eyes fluttering open as a smile formed on her lips. She knew how fortunate she was to have such a loving husband, how lucky she was to save him. And in the shadows of the gloomy predawn twilight, she reached to touch his face, brushing aside the tangled strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes.

Even in his sleep he sensed her featherlight touch, muttering softly before the gentle snoring returned. They remained in each other's arms for an hour or so, drifting in and out of sleep until a knock at the door drew Quico's attention.

"Mother?" a quiet voice said. The sound was so faint, that against the backdrop of pouring rain, it was almost inaudible. "Mother, a-are you awake?"

The dementor exhaled slowly, mentally preparing herself for the morning that awaited her. "That must be Modesty," she said, and in response Barty shifted and groaned.

"If Gellert has shed his trousers, then it's your turn t' deal with it," he told her, picking up the pillow and placing it over his head. It was far too early to deal with pantlessness at this hour.

The dementor let out a dramatic sigh, pushed the covers aside and glided off the mattress. "Just a minute, Modesty."

She found her day cloak, slipping out of her evening gown and tugging the ragged fabric over her head before opening the door. Sure enough, there was Modesty standing in the hall, a pair of Grindelwald's pants draped over her head.

"Mummy," the little girl began, but no explanation was necessary.

"Barty!" Quico hollered, turning and glancing over her shoulder. "Are you really going to leave me with this?"

Her husband made a motion from underneath the covers, one hand waving at her to get on with it.

"Alright," said Quico, snatching the pants off her daughter's head. "But if Credence begins to nausea at daycare this morning, it's your turn to clean it up."

.oOo.

Breakfast was chaotic as usual, with little Sev demanding cheesy crackers for his morning meal. Modesty was still checking her cereal for peas when Grindelwald tried wriggling out of his pants at the kitchen table. And while Quico was busy trying to keep her son's clothes on, Severus slid out of his highchair and crawled under the table.

"Quico, where is Severus?" Barty asked, sounding thoroughly puzzled. "I swear he was 'ere just a second ago."

Silence descended upon the room, heads turning at the sound of a little boy giggling. Barty looked over at the cupboards beside the sink, and there sat Severus Snape on the kitchen floor, pouring cheesy crackers into his cereal bowl. He even had a small carton of milk beside the bowl, and was just about to pour the milk on his breakfast when Barty bent down and lifted his son off the floor.

"And whose turn is it to sort this out?" Barty asked, the child squirming in his arms.

"I had pants duty this morning," his wife said with a shrug. "This one is one you."

After breakfast, Quico had to struggle to get Gel into his pants while her husband stood by the front door, his daughter waiting patiently beside her father. Severus, on the other hand, was squirming and complaining about how his shoes hurt his feet.

"Are you sure there aren't leaves in there?" Modesty asked, eyeing her brother's feet. "Or eggshells? Sometimes," she added, holding her father's hand and looking up at him, "when our feet hurt, it was because Mrs. Barebone had left eggshells in our shoes after boiling the eggs in the bathtub."

Barty rolled his eyes. "My dear," he began, kneeling beside her so that he was eye level with his little girl, "we aren't going t' put eggshells, leaves or any other kind of rubbish in your shoes. But if I may ask, why was she putting eggshells in your shoes?"

"And did Jeanne know about this?" Quico asked, emerging from a mound of discarded clothing.

"She had been drinking," Modesty replied, her gaze drifting towards the floor. "Mrs. Barebone, I mean. She thought she had to feed our shoes. But Grandma didn't find out about it until later... Much later, when Credence took off his shoes and his feet were bleeding."

Quico and Barty exchanged a troubled look.

"Mmm, yummy." Severus, who hadn't been paying attention to their conversation, sat down on the floor and yanked off one of his shoes, and out tumbled a flurry of cheesy cracker crumbs. "More for snack."

"No!" Barty whipped out his wand and vanished the mess, just as his son was about to shove a handful of crumbled crackers in his mouth. "Disgusting! Young man, we do not eat things we find in our shoes."

"But sometimes we had to..." Modesty muttered, still looking at the floor.

"Alright, that's enough talk." Quico finally managed to thread the enchanted ribbon through the belt loop in Gel's pants, preventing him from removing his clothes for another ten minutes. "We're going to be running late if we don't leave soon," she said, glancing at her watch. "And do you remember what happened the last time we opened late?"

"For Merlin's sake, don't remind me," Barty groaned, thinking back on how Alecto had managed to bury the entire playground in rice while waiting for the daycare to open. And then Amycus, who thought he could pick the lock with his tongue, covered the walkway in warm puddles of saliva, though he never did get the door open. He just sat there licking the doorstep for twenty minutes until Barty and Quico arrived.

When all was said and done, the family of five departed in the rain, with Severus jumping in every puddle he came across. His rain boots were thoroughly drenched by the time they arrived at the daycare, and all the while Modesty kept moving farther away from the dripping toddler, so as to protect her clothing from getting wet.

"Brace yourselves," Quico said, passing her hand in front of the door and hearing a soft click. "Another day of chaos awaits."

"I'm getting a migraine already," Barty muttered, still holding Severus' hand as the toddler stomped through a puddle on the doorstep.

The door swung upon, the soft pattering of rain diminishing as they walked inside. Barty let go of Severus' hand, and the child took off running, the carpet squelching beneath his feet.

"Wait a minute," Quico said, holding out her hand and turning her face to the ceiling. Something wet fell onto her palm, pooling in the center and spreading towards her fingertips. "There's a leak!"

"What?" Barty looked up from helping Modesty out of her coat. "Where is it? Where's the leak?"

"Here, Daddy," Modesty chimed in, hearing her father gasp when he turned around and saw the rain water dripping down the sides of her face.

The laughter and squishing sounds continued as time stood still around them, the dementor slowly realizing what this would mean for the future of their daycare. Either they would have discontinue their services, temporarily of course, or relocate for the time being. And there was only one possible location that came to mind.

"Daddy, look!" Severus cried, running across the soggy carpet. He took a flying leap and sent up a shower of droplets, splashing in a particularly wet patch of carpet. "It's rainin' inside, Daddy! It's all wet!"

Barty was the first to shake off the horror that closed around his throat, finding his voice and ordering his son to stop splashing in the puddles. With a wave of his wand he conjured a bucket and thrust it into Modesty's hands.

"Here, hold onto that," he told her, then multiplied the bucket so that there was eight more just like it.

Glancing up at the ceiling, Modesty took a step back and carefully placed the bucket on the floor, making sure to line it up properly so it caught the drops falling from above. It was just like when the roof leaked at the church and the bread got soaked, making her wonder if they'd be eating dampish bread for lunch.

The little girl shuddered at the thought, her father moving quickly from one puddle to the next, aiming his wand at the floor and muttering an incantation to dry the carpet.

"You do know of a basic charm t' put this right, don't you?" Barty asked, his wife still frozen in horror. "Quico!" he called out, trying to get her attention. When that failed, he ran to her and balanced a bucket on top of her head to catch the water, then moved on to the next leak before returning to his wife.

"Bloody hell," he muttered, setting down the last of the buckets then stopping to take a look around. "Quico, can you hear me?"

"What? Spell?" The dementor finally came around, oblivious to the fact that her husband had put a bucket on her head. "Why can't you cast a spell to repair the holes in the roof?" she queried, giving him a look of absolute astonishment.

"Yes, about that." Barty rubbed the back of his head, a flush of heat rising in his cheeks. "I don't know if all my skills came back after our little incident, love. Language yes, memory... not so good. Can't even recall about a month before the Triwizard Tournament."

He let his gaze drop to the floor, embarrassed by his shortcomings. "And you?" Barty asked, hoping that his wife could mend the roof.

Once again the dementor huffed out a dramatic sigh. "I'm a dementor, Barty. I'm not even supposed to own a wand, let alone use it."

None of this really mattered to Grindelwald, who had decided to drown his pants in one of the buckets. His own accidental magic was enough to cancel the charm on the colorful ribbon, his pants around his ankles as he waddled across the floor.

"Pants die for da gweater good!" he said, stumbling slightly as he bent to remove his trousers. With a wicked laugh, the toddler flung his pants into a bucket, dunking the article of clothing like a donut.

When Severus saw this, he thought his brother was playing a fun new game and tried taking off his shirt, only to have it get stuck halfway, blocking his field of vision. This quickly drew his parents' attention, the toddler giving voice to a muffled cry for help while stumbling blindly around the room.

This lead to several spills when he accidentally stepped in one of the buckets, tipping it over then stepping in another. Before long he had successfully knocked over three buckets, all while crying out for someone to free him from his tangled clothing.

"Da clothes is eated him!" Grindelwald shouted frantically. "Mommy, Mommy, he's being eated!"

"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Barty grumbled, hurrying over and tugging Severus' shirt into its correct position. Though not before putting his foot in one of the buckets and splashing water all over himself and his adopted son.

It was all too much for Modesty, who was starting to have flashbacks from when her grandmother tried getting Mary Lou to put her clothes back on. She stood trembling beside the front door, clutching a bucket and muttering, "Leaves and peas, leaves and peas. No, Grandma, I didn't know that you knew about this."

And in the middle of it all, the bucket on Quico's head sprang a leak, spouting water onto her husband's back just as he finished redressing little Sev. This sudden jet of ice cold rain water startled the Death Eater, who let out a yelp which frightened his daughter and caused her to throw her bucket into the air. Her bucket had been almost half full when she tossed it, and in the end she succeeded in soaking a large portion of the carpet along with her brother Grindelwald.

Both Modesty and Grindelwald started crying. And long about now Quico felt as though she wanted to cry as well.

"Merlin's beard, it looks like your bucket is taking a piss!" Barty said, watching the steady stream of water flow onto the carpet.

"Daddy, is Mommy been turneded into a fountain?" Severus asked.

Barty face palmed. How had he lost control of the situation so quickly? It seemed as though things kept going from bad to worse, and the day had only just begun.

.oOo.

Later, after Modesty and Grindelwald had quieted down, Barty finished drying the carpet and moved the children to the back room where they usually slept during nap time. He then returned to the main room and found his wife sitting at one of the tables.

"Is everything alright, love?" Barty asked, pulling out a chair and taking a seat beside her.

Quico was sitting with her head in her hands, trying to come to terms with the reality of what they must do. "We're going to have to close the daycare until we can hire someone to repair the roof," she said. "And that means finding somewhere else for the parents to bring their children."

"You aren't thinking what I'm thinking are you?" Barty didn't like where this was going, but he knew it was inevitable.

The dementor nodded, lifting her head out of her hands and frowning beneath her hooded cloak. "We can't exactly have them at Maisie's house. The building is so large the kids would get lost in there. Though I don't suppose Amycus would mind lending a hand."

"Or tongue, as the case may be."

"Jeanne already has her hands full with the Leaf Queen," Quico continued, counting the different locations on her fingers. "Nurmengard is even bigger than Maisie's manor, and I'd hate to think about what would happen if little Gel terrorized his future home, and his future self. The only option we have is to let the children stay with us."

"Right, because it was such a grand success that time we allowed the children t' stay overnight for a sleepover."

Barty strongly disliked the idea of using their home as a temporary daycare. There were too many things for Scabior to steal, Alecto to break and Credence to throw up on, including his DVD collection of Yodeling With The Stars. Not to mention his collection of crystal skulls. Those were shiny enough that Alecto would be crying and trying to run out of the house with them in five seconds flat.

And so it was that after much grumbling and hesitation, Barty placed a sign on the front door stating that, until further notice, the daycare was officially closed for repairs. The sign instructed parents to bring their children to Barty and Quico's house, where daycare services would be offered to those who were in need of someone to look after their precious children.

Chapter Text

At first they were greeted by the usual group of parents, starting with Maisie, Tassie and River. Only this time Alecto was carrying a teddy bear instead of her usual rice sock.

She was reluctant to part with her teddy bear, despite her mother insisting that the bear needed a rest after all the excitement from the recent birthday party. Eventually Maisie managed to convince her daughter to hand over the bear, giving her a pack of cookies and some rice in exchange for the tired teddy.

Next came Dragon and Cam, with Harry spewing a dozen questions about why they were at the dementor's house, why couldn't they go to the regular daycare, when would the daycare reopen, what would happen if it stayed closed forever, and on until everyone in the vicinity was getting a headache from listening to him.

"Blimey, it must take a great deal of patience having to listen to that all day," said Barty. He was about to step inside and close the door when he noticed a young woman walking down the path, her son following close behind, licking a massive lollipop.

The boy looked to be about nine years old, dressed in a navy blue sailor suit and bright yellow socks. He also looked as though he had a week's worth of snacks tucked in his cheeks, and for a moment Barty wondered if this young man had been partially transfigured into a hamster.

His mother, with her hair up in curlers and her frilly apron fluttering on the wind, approached the Death Eater and said, "Disculpe, es esta la ubicación correcta para la guardería? Vi un letrero en el frente que decía que se había movido."

"Mami, no necesito mirando!" the little boy whined, sounding very much like he was on the verge of throwing a tantrum. "Por qué no puedo quedarme en casa y jugar mientras tu bebes tu café y hueles tus flores?"

"Porque, tesoro, a veces a mami le gusta tomar su café al aire libre. Digamos tal vez un parque o un bonito o un restaurante para variar."

For a while Barty stood in the doorway, listening to their conversation. From what he could understand, this woman was going on a date with a gentleman by the name of Professor Jirafales, and she needed someone to watch her son while she was away. It sounded simple enough. And yet Barty didn't want his wife to yell at him for inviting another Mary Lou into the daycare.

Luckily, Barty was able to speak Spanish, thanks to the lessons he'd received from his father. It was about the only good thing his father ever did for him. And after speaking to the woman for a couple minutes, he came to the conclusion that her son wasn't likely to take off his clothes, play with leaves or put fish in his diaper.

"Mi hijo ni siquiera usa pañales!" the lady insisted, looking rather offended by his question.

"Entonces no debería haber ningún problema, señora," said Barty, ushering the boy inside. 

The door closed behind them, and the little boy looked around. He saw Albie and Gel stacking colorful blocks in the living room, next to where Modesty was sitting quietly with a coloring book and some crayons. Credence was sitting in his blanket nest beside to the bookshelf, sucking his thumb while half asleep and drooling down the front of his shirt. Nagini had situated herself beside the Obscurial, and was currently draping a blanket around his shoulders to keep him warm.

There was a variety of children and age groups to choose from, but the little boy wasn't sure where to begin. The toddlers were probably too young to be decent playmates, and a few of the older children looked more like grown adults. Except for the young man who was snoozing and sucking his thumb, and the woman with the pacifier in her mouth. Clearly they weren't acting their age, which made the little boy slightly curious.

"Joven, espera un momento," said Barty, stopping the boy before he could venture into the living room. He reached into his pocket and removed a gold medallion. There was a thin chain attached to the medallion, its surface inscribed with various runes that sparkled in the sunlight. And before the little boy could ask what he was doing, Barty had placed the chain around the child's neck.

The child's eyes went wide, lighting up like he'd just been given a wondrous new toy to play with. He was so enthralled with this curious object that he didn't notice the Death Eater eyeing his gift from across the room.

Alecto stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. "How come he got a shiny and I didn't?"

"You want it?" the boy asked, a sly grin spreading across his face. He held the chain in his grubby little fist, playfully dangling the medallion in front of her.

He swung the medallion back and forth, drawing her attention like a niffler to a pile of gold. Alecto, seemingly memorized by the dazzling charm, reached for it again and again, only watch as the little boy laughed, moving too quickly for her to take his medallion.

"Give it!" Alecto whined, her nostrils flaring. "Give it, I want it! I wanna shiny!"

"Then go buy your own!" the boy in the sailor suit snapped, clutching the medallion against his chest.

Barty chuckled, watching the scene unfold with much amusement. He didn't even notice that his wife had drifted downstairs, stopping beside him and tapping him on the shoulder.

"What is going on here?" the dementor asked. She motioned to the boy in the blue sailor suit. "And when did we get another child?"

"Oh, good morning, love," said Barty, turning to face his wife. "Hope you don't mind, but a woman with her hair all up in curlers dropped him off just a moment ago. And before you say anything, he is toilet trained and he doesn't play with leaves, fish or rice. I just had to give him my father's old translator charm is all. Apparently he only speaks Spanish."

"And what is his name?"

Barty hesitated for a moment. "Quico," he said finally.

"Yes?" The dementor raised an eyebrow, and her husband pointed at the child.

"No, tha's his name. Well, that's what he prefers to be called anyway. Doesn't like going by his real name."

Barty was spared any further explanation when he and his wife heard a pair of children shouting at each other from across the room.

Looking over his shoulder, Barty saw that Alecto was trying to steal the shiny medallion from Quico. The little boy retaliated by swinging his oversized lollipop and smacking her in the back of the head. The end result was a sticky mess clinging to Alecto's reddish-brown hair.

Quico gasped, the sparkly medallion dangling from around his neck. His lips quivered, fighting the urge to laugh, and with one hand he reached over and patted Alecto's head.

"You can keep that," he casually stated, twirling a lock of her matted hair around his finger. "I didn't want it anyway."

Barty could only watch in horror as Alecto's eyes rolled upwards, staring at the sticky treat tangled in her hair. The situation was no longer funny, and before he and his wife had a chance to intervene, Alecto took a deep breath and let out a tremendous wail.

The noise was so loud it startled the other children in the living room, causing Gel to drop his pants and leap into the tower of blocks. Credence came awake with a start and spontaneously poofed into the nearest air duct, while Newt grabbed his plush niffler and hid under the couch.

Modesty was one of the few children not frightened out of her wits by the horrendous noise. She watched her father pick up the sobbing Death Eater (admittedly this took a bit of effort), place her over his shoulder and quickly carry her out of the room.

Feeling somewhat concerned, Modesty left her coloring book and crayons on the floor and followed her father into the adjacent room. Her mother, meanwhile, was staring with her mouth agape, not knowing whether to scold the little boy or praise him for his actions. She decided that since Alecto hadn't been physically harmed, she would let this one slide. However, it was going to take a lot of cookies and perhaps a memory charm or two in order to avoid the Wrath of Maisie.

.oOo.

The next twenty minutes were spent trying to coax Credence out of the air duct, a task which was given to Nagini while the dementor helped her husband with Alecto. Chastity, whose job it was to supervise the toddlers in the absence of Barty and Quico, had to pull up Gel's pants half a dozen times before Barty was able to remove the sticky candy from Alecto's hair. And Severus, left to his own devices now that the owners of the daycare were distracted, toddled off into the kitchen and found himself a box of cheesy crackers.

After a while, Chastity managed to talk Newt into coming out from under the couch. Severus fell asleep in a pile of cracker crumbs, and Barty returned Alecto to the living room with a handful of cookies and a fresh bag of rice.

No one seemed to notice that Alecto looked a little cross-eyed when he set her down on the couch, or that her hair had been let down and now trailed past her shoulders. She honestly looked prettier with her hair down. Though Barty had had to magically regrow most of it after stunning the adult baby and using a severing charm to remove the lollipop from her hair.

"Barty, where is Severus?" the dementor asked, only to receive a pair of pants to the face five seconds later. "And where is Quico?"

Gel sat beside his mother and giggled. "No clothes!" he burbled, trying to wriggle out of his diaper.

Quickly, the dementor surveyed the scene, counting the number of children present. Chastity, who appeared to have abandoned all hope of keeping Grindelwald's clothes on, was now entertaining Newt and his plush niffler. The child was happy to play with her, although it looked as though they were about to have a major catastrophe on their hands.

Quico had discovered Credence's blanket nest in the corner by the bookshelf, and had burrowed into the sprawling pile of fabric. Blankets of every shape and size spilled out onto the floor, the child moving around underneath, snickering and giggling. It was quite comfortable, the perfect place to declare himself King of the Daycare, and the pillows would serve as his throne.

Now all he needed was some toys to play with, perhaps a ball or two. Then he could sit for the rest of the day, pleasantly entertained by his loyal subjects.

Nagini had been so worried about Credence having a meltdown that she failed to notice the invasion of his blanket nest. She carefully removed the metal grate covering the vent in the floor, speaking softly to her friend until a thin wisp of smoke drifted between her fingers.

Her eyes followed the undulating threads, watching them coil around her wrist, lightly brushing against the back of her hand. She smiled at him. "Come on now," she whispered, and slowly he materialized beside her

"Barty, we've got a disrobing situation over here!" the dementor called out, hoping she could intercept Credence and Nagini before Quico succeeded in upsetting another one of the children.

This was starting to look like a complete disaster. Gel was in the process of getting naked, Draco had joined Severus in the kitchen and was attempting to retrieve the discarded lollipop from the garbage can, and an already frazzled Obscurial was about to discover that his blanket nest had been taken over by a nine-year-old.

Said nine-year-old was busy draping a blanket over the arm of the couch when Credence and Nagini approached him, the Obscurial sniffling and trembling.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Credence asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Even on good days, Credence wasn't the best in social situations. And it didn't help that this newcomer had already proven his ability to cause a commotion in five seconds flat.

"You see this?" Quico asked, running a hand over the blanket he'd used to make the roof of his castle. "I'm using it now. This is my castle. And all of this," he paused, bending over and gathering an armload of heavy blankets, "is mine now too."

"B-but those a-are mine," Credence stammered, his pulse pounding fiercely against his ribs. Distantly he was aware of the pressure building in his chest, the Maledictus taking his hand, whispering in his ear and squeezing gently. "My mother gave them to me," he continued meekly, his eyes glazing over.

Quico didn't miss this bizarre anomaly. Blinking and recoiling slightly, the boy stared at him, mouth opening in astonishment.

"Um, excuse me," came a quiet voice, and both Quico and Credence turned, seeing Modesty join them in the makeshift play area. "I'm sorry, but... would it be possible for you to share the blankets?"

Credence sniffled and nodded. "I remember..." he began hesitantly. "Sharing with you is fun for me too. We were taught - " His voice trailed off and he looked at his shoes, too afraid to finish his sentence.

The little boy scoffed at the idea, rolling his eyes and tugging on the blanket that hung over the entrance to his "castle", effectively slamming the door in their face.

The dementor had been watching the scene unfold, her husband scooping up the pantless Gel and trying to wrestle him into his clothes. It looked like she would need to activate lecture mode, but her daughter persisted, and for a moment the dementor stood back and watched.

"That isn't very polite. Mummy always says that sharing is caring." And her brother nodded when he heard this.

Quico emerged from the blanket castle a moment later, backing out with the coloring book and crayons held against his chest. "I'll share these, because I already have that one back home," he said, turning around and placing the items at Modesty's feet. "And I'll share this too."

The three children watched as Quico retreated into the blanket castle. This time he left the door open, and on the bookshelf to his right there was a radio. He fiddled with the dials on the radio, switching it on and going through the stations.

"I'm already getting tired," he told the other children. "We gotta liven it up with some music, some energy, enthusiasm and emotion!"

Both Modesty and Nagini eyed him warily, not knowing if he would throw an Alecto style tantrum if he couldn't find some music that he liked. Credence, who had already had his fill of this new little boy, leaned against Nagini and rested his head on her shoulder. He could hear a gentle melody coming from the speakers, the soothing quality of the music helping to ease the tension in his body.

Within a few minutes, Credence was starting to fall asleep. But the lullaby piano tunes were not what Quico was looking for. Determined to find something better, Quico spun the dial in the opposite direction, startling Modesty and Credence with a loud burst of static, followed by a lively tune that came blasting out of the speakers.

"Yeah, here we go!" Quico said, bouncing on the tips of his toes. Leaping up, he spun around and clapped his hands. "Come on, come on, come on! Dance with me!" And with that he grabbed onto Modesty's sleeve and whisked her away like they were at the Yule Ball.

Credence gasped and reached for his sister, but Nagini held him back. "Stay calm, kepercayaan," she soothed. "I do not think he is going to hurt her."

Indeed, the little girl was in shock more than was she frightened. Her breath caught in her chest, the little boy spinning her around, then finally he let go and began to moonwalk across the carpet.

"I do like music," Credence admitted. The corner of his mouth twitched, a brief smile flitting across his face. Though Nagini couldn't tell if this was an involuntary muscle spasm or if he was truly starting to enjoy himself.

Nagini let go of his hand, and Modesty, now standing frozen on the spot with her eyes open wide, watched Quico's performance.

One by one, the children in the living room and family room stopped what they were doing, heads turning as Quico stole the spotlight. And while most of his moves appeared to have been made up on the spot, his movements were smooth and fluid, keeping one foot on the floor while he more or less bunny hopped in a circle.

"We aren't... we aren't going to do the pretzel dance, are we?" Modesty asked, fearing that, sooner or later, this would evolve into an all out pretzel party.

But Quico wasn't really listening. He was lost in the music, the beat of Harry Belafonte's Jump In The Line pulsing through the room at full volume.

Tentatively, Modesty took a step forward, glancing over at her brother as if waiting for his approval. Not that the Obscurial was paying attention. He too had been captivated by the music, and was sitting with his eyes closed, moving his head back and forth in time with the music.

"Go ahead," said Nagini, signaling that it was alright for Modesty to join in. "Do not be afraid, little one. You have seen the way your brother dances, yes? Not everything is a pretzel, you know."

The Maledictus, knowing how much Credence enjoyed listening to music, was positively thrilled with the way things were going. Her face lit up when she saw him get to his feet, his own dance moves more stylish and graceful. It was enough to encourage Modesty to join them, and for the first time in forever the little girl began to laugh, overcome with joy and excitement.

Chapter Text

Before long, most of the children had joined Quico for what soon became a spectacular dance party.

Little Severus, who could hear the music all the way out in the kitchen, did what children typically do and grabbed the nearest pot from the cupboard. Laughing, he beat on it like a drum, while Draco sat with his fingers in his mouth, drooling and watching the older children in the living room.

Harry started singing loudly, even though he had no idea what any of the words were. He tried his best to improvise, and was hit with a flurry of rice when Alecto decided she couldn't stand the sound of his voice.

Gel really wanted to join the others and bust a move on the dance floor, but he hadn't developed enough coordination to participate. He settled for flinging his clothes across the room at Quico, Modesty and Credence, much like an enamored female tossing her bra on stage for the lead singer at a concert. Even Newt decided to join the fun, and was happily giggling while holding his plush niffler's paws, moving the stuffie in such a manner that it appeared to be dancing.

The only person who wasn't enjoying the performance was Alecto. She had crawled under the couch and curled into a ball, both hands over her ears as she tried to block out the noise. But the music kept getting louder, and the only reason the dementor allowed this to continue was because she was used to blasting Metallica for three to four hours at a time.

Modesty was actually laughing when Alecto started to cry, but nobody could hear either of them because the music was too loud. It was then that Quico made the mistake of reaching for a broom that was leaning against the wall by the front door. He thought he could use it to play pretend, holding it like a guitar while strumming the bristles. It was loads of fun, until a spark of magic flared to life within the broom, causing it to vibrate down the length of its handle.

Without warning the broom launched itself into the air, and Quico let out a startled yelp as he was yanked off his feet. His fingers slipping, the boy reached up with his other hand, grasping the handle and screaming.

With lightning speed he rocketed around the room, circling the living room six times in quick secession before Barty ran in and drew his wand. There was a brief flash, the broom freezing in midair with Quico still holding on for dear life.

The boy whimpered, his feet dangling above the furniture. He appeared to be on the verge of tears, shaking from head to toe with fright. "Mommy!" he wailed, kicking his feet and sobbing.

"Dammit!" Barty swore, gritting his teeth and running forward. He had to duck to avoid being kicked in the face, reaching up and taking hold of the child under his arms.

"Of all the things, you forgot to put away your broom," the dementor snapped, swiping her husband's broomstick the instant Quico had been moved to safety.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't think to put it away, love. Because a majority of the children are - " At that moment, Barty paused in midsentence, his wife tucking the broom into a nearby closet. He looked down at Quico, who was crying and clutching the fabric of his jacket, and the word "magical" drifted past the Death Eater's lips.

"Barty," the dementor said at length. She switched off the radio with a wave of her hand, then turned and looked at her husband. "Is he...?"

"I don't know," Barty replied, sounding thoroughly exasperated. "Though it wouldn't be the first time we let a Muggle into the daycare."

Within a matter of minutes the party came to a screeching halt, the children pouting and whining at the lack of music and dancing. And yet Alecto was absolutely thrilled by Quico's accident. She remained in her defensive ball position under the sofa, both hands over her mouth, shaking with barely suppressed laughter.

Only Modesty cared enough to come forward, standing beside the couch while her father sat with Quico in his arms, holding him gently as he continued his warbling cry.

"Do you know what I think?" Modesty said, reaching up and rubbing Quico's back. "I think he sounds like a cat when he cries, like a kitty purring. Does he want to be a soft kitty too?"

"Humph!" Gel pulled down his pants and flung them at his sister. "Me soft kitty!" he hollered. "Me, me! One kitty, me soft kitty!" His furious cries were enough to summon Albie, who sat down beside him and starting stroking his hair.

"Don't!" Quico whined, slapping Modesty's hand when she tried to pet him. "I'm not a cat. I don't... I don't even own a cat. Not anymore."

"You don't?" Modesty rubbed the sore spot on the back of her hand, then took a step back in case he tried swatting at her again. "May I ask what happened to it?"

"It was a friend of mine," Quico said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "He backed over my cat like a banana and it went pffrt."

"Pffrt?" Modesty mimicked the sound he made.

"Yes." Quico nodded. "Pffrt. Just like that."

"I used to have a cat, too. Me and my brother Credence, we found him outside in the rain. I named him Deceit, but then Mrs. Barebone made me get rid of him because she didn't like cats."

Quico slid off the Death Eater's lap, still sniffling and wiping tears from his eyes. "So what happened to him?" he asked, pointing at Gel. "Did a witch turn your cat into a person?"

Silence, followed by a soft meow from the silver haired toddler.

"No, he's just playing pretend," said Modesty. "Or at least I think he is."

"Then why did that broom fly if there aren't any witches here?" Quico asked, lowering his head while nervously fiddling with his tie. He hesitated before looking up at her. "We have a witch living next door to us back home," he said in a frightened whisper. "I think she turned some of my neighbors into donkeys."

Barty tucked his wand into his back pocket, then placed a hand on Quico's shoulder, steering him in the direction of the blanket fort. "Don't be ridiculous," he told Quico. "Everyone knows that witches aren't real."

"Yes, they are!" Harry spouted, running over and rambling like an idiot. "Witches are real, and some day I'm going to go to school and learn magic, and I'll play Quidditch and have my own broom and an owl, though I'm not sure what kind of owl. I could get a snowy owl, a barn owl, or a screech owl, or maybe even a grey owl! And then - "

 "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Quico shouted, just inches from Harry's face. "You're driving me crazy!"

Little Harry Potter quickly shut his mouth, for about five seconds, before he unleashed a flood of tears and ran from the room.

"Do you know how much I've wanted to do that?" Barty asked his wife. His face split in a wide grin, only to have the happiness sucked out of his very soul by his scowling wife. "I'll see that he settles down," he muttered, the smile falling from his face as he left the room.

Credence, meanwhile, had returned to the blanket fort, and was now lying on his side in a pile of pillows. The noise was too much for him, all the screaming and crying, and he desperately wanted to take a nap now that the party was over.

He placed his thumb in his mouth, unaware of the fact that his wand had slipped out of his pocket before settling in the blanket fort. Within a few minutes he was fast asleep.

Quico glared at him, and was about to boot him in the rear when he noticed the wand lying on the floor. "A wand!" he breathed, eyes widening as he turned it over in his hands. He looked back at Modesty. "Look, it's the witch's wand! See, see? I told you there's a witch!"

Modesty's mouth opened wordlessly, looking from the wand to her sleeping sibling then back enough. "I don't think we're supposed to play with that," she said, knowing full well that it belonged to her brother Credence.

The little boy's eyes darted around the room, looking left to right as though he expected the witch to come flying out from under the sofa. He pulled on Modesty's sleeve, dragging her into the adjacent room.

"What're we doing?" Modesty asked, glancing at the wand in his hand.

Quico leaned in close and whispered, "If there's a wand, then there must be a witch somewhere nearby. It might even be the one who lives next-door to me. So when she comes back for her wand, we're going to catch her! And I'll take all the credit because it was my idea."

Modesty wasn't so sure about this, but Quico kept right on talking.

"That's right. I'll be famous. I might even get rich if there's a reward. No, wait, my mommy already has a lot of money. But everyone will cheer and thank me for catching the witch. And they'll have parades in my honor, and build a statue that looks like me, and I'll have my own holiday, and lots of toys and candy and maybe even that square ball I've always wanted."

"Square ball?" Modesty blinked and looked at him in confusion. "I've never heard of such a thing. But we do have regular toys to play with."

She flipped open the lid on the toy chest and took out a small pink ball. "Do you want to play?" she asked sheepishly, offering him the ball. Quico took one look at it and rolled his eyes.

"With that tiny thing? Pffrt, no way!" He crossed his arms over his chest, looking rather smug as he told her, "I have bigger toys at home. And mine are much better because mommy only buys the best toys for her most perfectiest son."

"Then why don't you have a square ball?" Modesty questioned innocently.

Quico didn't have an answer to that.

While they were talking about toys and witches, Alecto crept out from under the couch. She crawled along the floor, leaving behind a trail of rice and glitter, until finally she made it to the family room. She then dove behind a potted plant, snickering and giggling when she heard Quico return to the topic of witches.

"Filthy Muggles!" she hissed between her teeth, removing her wand from a pocket inside her dress.

Modesty was still trying to get Quico to play with her. Partly because she didn't want him playing with her brother's wand, and also because she was starting to see him as a potential friend and play mate.

"What if it isn't a real wand?" Modesty asked. "Maybe it's just a toy. I had a toy wand once. I kept it hidden under my bed and would play with it once in a while."

"You had a toy wand?" Quico raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I did. Sometimes it's fun to pretend to use magic."

"Well, there's only one way to find out!" And with that Quico snatched the ball out of her hand, threw it into the air and waved the wand at it.

Nothing happened. The ball hit the floor and bounced a little before coming to a stop at his feet. Modesty and Quico looked at it, then back at each other.

"Let me try that again," said Quico.

He waved the wand over the ball, flailing his arms and yelling, "Stupid ball! Why are you still round?"

Then suddenly there was a flash of light, and the ball doubled in size.

Alecto giggled.

"Okay, that's a start," Quico said, narrowing his eyes at the massive ball. "That's more like the one I have at home. But it's still the wrong shape."

He waved the wand over the ball again, only this time when Alecto cast her spell the ball began to multiply. One ball became three. Those three multiplied and became eight, then fourteen became twenty and then thirty. There were so many of them that the room had been magically transformed into a giant ball pit.

Modesty gasped, slipping and falling over onto her back as she tried to climb out of the ball pit. She disappeared beneath the multicolored balls, and all the while Quico was laughing and having a tremendous amount of fun. But then the mountain of balls grew towards the ceiling, and all that remained was Modesty's hand just visible above the dozens upon dozens of brightly colored balls.

"Help!" The little girl floundered and flailed. She was going to suffocate under all those toys. "Quico, please! Help me!"

The furniture disappeared under the balls, the bookshelf and the potted plant vanished too, until the door to the family room was bulging on its hinges.

Quico looked around, hearing Modesty's muffled cries as she was sucked into the ball pit. But Quico, having made his own ball pit in the back yard at home, knew how to expertly maneuver through the sea of bouncy balls. He held his breath and took a dive, swimming through the balls until he found Modesty struggling to escape the room full of toys.

Alecto, meanwhile, had Apparated to a different room in the house, choosing to flee the scene before things got out of hand. With any luck, the two Muggles would suffocate in their favorite playthings, leaving her to get all the cookies and attention as usual.

She returned to her rice tower, acting all innocent and cute while Credence slept and the children played. But then Barty looked around and said, "Where is Quico and Modesty?"

"I'm right here," said the dementor, shaking the rice and cheesy cracker crumbs out of her cloak. A few Swedish fish tumbled out of her ragged sleeve, and she quickly inhaled them.

"No, the other Quico," Barty continued. "I haven't seen him or Modesty since Credence went to sleep."

There was a pause, the both of them scanning the area.

Credence was still sound asleep, sucking his thumb in his blanket fort. Nagini was beside him, curled up with a book on potion making that she had borrowed from the bookshelf, while Newt was busy tucking in his plush niffler, saying that it wanted a nap with Credence.

Severus had finally gotten his fill of cheesy crackers, and after letting out a belch so loud it shook Alecto's rice tower, he fell asleep on the sofa beside his father. Chasity was doing her best to pay attention to Harry's ceaseless rambling, though every now and then she could be seen glancing around the room, wondering where her sister had gone. She wanted to look for Modesty, but for now she was trapped by the little boy who going on and on about the different kinds of jam he likes.

Gel, well he was being his usual self, and was currently tangled up in several layers of clothing that he was trying to remove. He wriggled and squirmed, until eventually he fell over onto the carpet. All of this was incredibly funny to the little wizard, who snorted and laughed while Albie tried to yank his pants off.

The dementor sighed. "I'll take care of Albie and Gel, while you look for Modesty and Quico."

Barty nodded and stood up, his sleeping son drooling all over the couch with cheesy cracker crumbs stuck in his hair. He made it halfway across the living room when Alecto latched onto his leg, clamping down and wrapping both arms around him. She could hear a faint thumping sound coming from down the hall, and the last thing she wanted was for Barty to discover the two children before they'd been suffocated by the all the toys.

"Uncle Barty, I wanna cookie!" Alecto whined. "A shiny cookie, no, five cookies! With lotsa shiny sprinklers!"

Barty rolled his eyes. "What else is new?" And then he paused. "Sprinklers?"

"Uh-huh!" Alecto nodded vigorously. "Silver and gold and rose gold and platinum!"

Thump, thump. What was that? Barty turned his head in the direction of the hallway, momentarily forgetting about Alecto.

In the family room, Quico had grabbed Modesty by the wrist and brought her to the surface. The little girl gasped for air, but when she reached up with her free hand, her fingers easily touched the ceiling.

"Hold on!" Quico cried, not even taking the time to question how such magic was possible. All he knew was that he had to find a way out before they were smothered under a mountain of toys.

With his hand still closed around her wrist, Quico dove under the sea of colorful balls, swimming through them and finally reaching the door to the hallway. He held on tight to Modesty, her eyes widening when he turned the door handle, only to discover that the crafty Death Eater had magically locked the door.

Thump thump, the noise drifted down the hallway. It sounded like someone was kicking the door.

"Uncle Barty!" Alecto wailed, trying to get his attention. She chomped on his ankle, snarling and slobbering like a rabid dog. Her saliva soaked through the bottom of his pants, and Barty managed three steps before shaking her off and making a run down the hall.

The noise was getting louder, and Quico let out a shout, kicking and screaming with all his might.

There was a split second before Barty reached the door in which Alecto briefly considered hexing her fellow Death Eater. She was about to pull out her wand and transfigure Barty into a chicken when Quico kicked the door again, just as Barty's fingers closed around the doorknob.

"What the - " Barty tugged on the doorknob, twisting it sharply before he realized what had happened. Alecto already had the incantation on her lips, but Barty was faster, moving with the speed and determination of a concerned father. And before Alecto had time to act, the door flew open and both children came tumbling out, along with a tidal wave of toys.

Alecto looked up as the wall of balls came rushing towards her, swallowing up Barty before engulfing her as well. And in the middle of it all, she was struck with a particularly large ball, right smack in the middle of her forehead. The force was enough to cause her to lose consciousness, and for a while no one was able to locate her beneath the massive mound of toys.

The barrage of balls poured into the living room and kitchen, and only Quico seemed capable of riding the wave as they spilled onto the floor, filling the blanket fort and bouncing off the walls. He emerged from the mountain of toys, looking as though he clearly wasn't impressed with the sheer volume of balls.

"Eh, I've got more toys than this at home," he said with a shrug. And he was probably telling the truth.

Modesty gasped and rolled out onto the carpet, only to be scooped up by her father a moment later.

"There you are!" Barty exclaimed, pulling her in for a hug. "And you," he said, turning to look at Quico. "What exactly happened in there?"

"Quico tried to help me, daddy," said Modesty, though she wasn't going to admit that he'd been playing with her brother's wand. She didn't even know how he made the ball multiply, unless he was some sort of Muggleborn and nobody knew it.

"That's all well and good, but it doesn't explain how this happened," Barty continued, adjusting his hold on his little girl. He watched as his wife drifted into the room, sighed heavily, and then shook her head.

"Another mess," said the dementor. She didn't even take the time to question it. She just opened her mouth and started sucking up the multitude of balls. Which would have been fine if Quico hadn't grabbed onto one of the balls and started yelling that he wanted to keep it.

He refused to let go of the ball, even when the dementor had sucked it up and it was halfway down her throat. Quico just planted his feet on either side of her face, dug in his heels, gripped the ball and tried pulling it out of her mouth.

"That's mine!" Quico shouted, the dementor's arms flailing wildly. "I want it, I want it, I want it!"

Half choked by the ball in her throat, the dementor launched into a sudden coughing fit and spit out the ball. Quico fell to the floor, hugging his prized toy even though it was positively dripping with saliva.

"Are you alright, love?" Barty asked, rubbing her back while she continued to cough and wheeze.

With one arm around Modesty's waist, Barty placed his hand on his wife's shoulder, helping to steady her movements as she doubled over with her hands on her knees, taking in several deep breaths.

The dementor lifted her gaze, surprised to see that the ball Quico was holding was square instead of round. Somehow, something had gone wrong with Alecto's Doubling Charm, causing one of the balls to change from round to square. All of this was very puzzling indeed. And if it weren't for all the children who still needed to be fished out of the pile of balls, Barty and his wife would have had time to stop and figure out what had happened.

Chapter Text

A few of the balls remained after the dementor had successfully managed to vacuum the house, giving the children something to play with while Barty and his wife tried to figure out what had happened.

Draco and Harry started tossing a ball back forth. Newt was watching with a grin on his face as Pickett attempted to balance on top of a polka dot ball. Chastity had to be taken off to the side and comforted by the dementor, because the flood of toys had triggered a flashback, reminding her of the time she had been nearly suffocated under Mary Lou's leaves.

Credence had managed to sleep through everything, and was only half awake when Barty handed him his wand.

"We found that at the bottom of the ball pit," Barty explained. But Credence simply yawned, his chin lowering onto his chest as his eyes began to close.

The Obscurial was far too tired to process what had taken place. And when his mother came to take him home, Nagini was heard saying something about an avalanche of toys and how she wished they were pygmy puffs.

Gel was still trying to stuff yellow balls down the front of his pants when Tassie came to collect Newt and Albie. This caused a disturbance when Albie started sniffling and whining, saying that he wanted to play with the toys Grindelwald had shoved in his pants.

"Now Albie," Tassie began, scooping up her adopted son. "You can play with Gel's balls later. Right now it's time to go home, son."

This, of course, lead to a tantrum from the silver haired cat child, who ripped his pants off in a fit of rage, causing a shower of toys to spill onto the floor.

Draco and Harry each got to take one ball home, and were still laughing and playing when their parents arrived. Only Harry didn't throw a fit when his playmate was taken from him. He was far too busy chatting about toys, describing in great detail each and every ball he'd played with, right down to their size, shape, texture and color. He even told Cameron that one of them smelled like cheese.

Alecto was still in a daze after the toys were vacuumed off the floor. And after looking her over to make sure she wasn't bruised or injured, Barty summoned a jar of sequins from the craft supplies and stuck them to a shiny ball with a permanent sticking charm. He then thrust the ball into her hands before she could start screaming and crying for her mother.

"That's better," Barty soothed, patting her on the head while she placed the ball between her lips and proceeded to nibble on it. "You're alright, girl. You're alright." He glanced over his shoulder at his wife and mouthed the words, "She did this."

"You think I couldn't figure that out?" The dementor let out a tired sigh. "And from the looks of it, our new visitor must have picked up Credence's wand. Though I don't think he meant to cause any trouble. He's just a curious..." Her voice trailed off into silence, and both she and Barty turned their heads, watching as Quico happily tossed his square ball into the air. "Little boy," the dementor finished, not wanting to say the word Muggle.

Alecto was slobbering all over her newly aquired toy when Maisie and Amycus arrived. Or rather, when Amycus' tongue arrived. He had curled the drippy appendage around the doorknob, opening the door for his wife before following her into the building.

"And how is mommy's precious little baby angel?" Maisie asked, picking up her beloved daughter.

The shiny lover had little to say when Maisie spoke to her. She continued chewing on her new toy, giving Barty and his wife a look of unfathomable contempt.

"I see that you've got a new toy," Maisie continued, trying to elicit a response. "Did the dementor give that you?"

"Yes, of course I did." The dementor swept past, carrying a plastic baggie loaded with cookies and other sugary treats. She dangled this delightful little treat bag in front of Alecto. "I also got her these, because she was such a good girl today. Weren't you, Alecto?"

"Mine!" the adult baby screeched, snatching the bag of tasty treats from the dementor's hands.

Barty sighed and rolled his eyes, but didn't say a word. He just wanted this day to be over with.

"Hey, wait a minute," Quico piped up, tucking his ball under his arm and glaring at Barty. "How come she gets all kinds of snacks and candy but I don't? I'm the only one here who was brave enough to try and capture the witch. Don't I get a reward or points for effort or something?"

His last word came out sounding like an awful whine, and when Barty looked down the little boy was tugging on his jacket, twisting and yanking the dark leather until it threatened to split down the seams.

"Darling," Barty groaned helplessly, begging his wife to step in and rescue him from this Muggle child.

Not wanting to upset the little boy, the dementor did the only thing she could think of. She unfurled her emergency stash of Swedish fish and showered Quico in praise and candy.

Without even a word of thanks, Quico plopped down on the couch and started shoveling little packets of treats in his mouth. He was halfway through his eighth bag of Swedish fish when the doorbell rang.

Barty had barely opened the front door when Quico ran past, almost knocking him over in the process. This little whirlwind of a child was really testing his patience, causing him to grip the doorframe in order to stop himself from toppling over.

The Death Eater groaned, reaching up with one hand and holding his throbbing head. Quico had leapt into his mother's arms and was holding up his square ball, a wide grin on his face as he launched into an explanation of what had happened.

At first Barty just stood there listening to their conversation, leaning with his back against the doorframe while Quico showed her his new toy. He smiled and nodded when the lady with the curlers asked him questions, his eyes widening when Quico suddenly chirped, "And we even had a witch hunt, Mommy!"

Barty's heart momentarily lodged itself in his throat, and for a second he appeared to choke. But Florinda didn't think much of her son's wild and imaginative stories. As long as he was having fun, he could play any game that he wanted. Finally, she bid them farewell, and thanked them for taking such good care of her son. The door closed behind them, and Barty collapsed on the couch. His wife joined him a minute later, her cloaked form draped across the furniture like an old shawl.

"Do you think he realized that Alecto is a witch?" he asked, looking over at his exhausted wife. "Is that what started this whole bloody adventure? Because he did seem to have it out for her since the very beginning."

The dementor waved off his question. "No, of course not. He's just a child, Barty. How would he even know that Alecto is a witch?"

Barty shifted slightly, lifting one cheek off the couch while reaching for a discarded pair of pants his son had thrown onto the furniture. "All I'm saying is that it's rather unusual, don't you think?" He tugged on Gel's forgotten trousers, and eventually managed to pull them out from under his backside. "Looks like we still need to do some cleaning, love."

This wasn't exactly what the dementor wanted to hear. So was so tired. And when Barty held up their son's pants, his wife slid right off the couch and onto the floor.

"Mommy?" A small voice managed to force its way through the haze of exhaustion. "Mommy, is Quico going to come back soon? I think... I think he was kind of nice."

The dementor groaned, her hooded form stretched across the carpet. She was face down on the floor, looking for all the world like a limp tea towel. "What?" she muttered, lifting her head off the floor.

"He was... nice," Modesty said at length, the faintest of smiles curling her lips.

"If he returns, he will be allowed to play with the other children," Barty told her, nodding in response to her question. "However, he must be separated from Alecto and Credence at all times." He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "If that boy realizes that she's a witch, all hell is going to break loose when he decides to have another witch hunt. That alone will trigger Dragon's son, who probably still has nightmares about the Second Salem lot. No offense, darling," he added, giving his daughter a very tired but loving smile.

Her smile widened, and Modesty nodded in understanding. She looked forward to seeing Quico again, preferably sooner rather than later. Until then, she would continue on with life as usual, carefully crafting an ornate leaf rubbing that she would save for the next time he came to visit.