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English
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Part 2 of Batlantern Week 2021
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Batlantern Week
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Published:
2021-03-08
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1,581
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1/1
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wash my eyes, switch my focus

Summary:

The classic “oh shit that’s my ex, quick pretend to be my boyfriend please I’ll owe you forever.”

For Batlantern Week Day 2 - Fake/Pretend Relationship or Sacrifice

Notes:

Thank you to Sun for helping me edit this! He’s responsible for a couple of the more clever lines in this. You can find him on tumblr and ao3 at sunkiller44.

The POV switches quite a bit in this. I apologize if this is confusing.

Also I resisted using Bilmuri lyrics as a title for exactly one (1) day. Title is from POSTALMONDCLARITY by Bilmuri. It has a sick saxophone bit.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Bruce is his only option.

Clark is on the other side of the room with Lois. They’re clearly here together, and even if they weren’t, they’re doing their jobs.

Diana is here. She wouldn’t hesitate to help Hal. But she’s involved in a conversation with a group of people who look important, and Hal really doesn’t want to draw more attention to himself than he has to.

He wishes Barry were here. He would know exactly what to do. Hal wouldn’t have to explain. Wouldn’t have to look him in the eye and say I know I’m the hero without fear, but I’m terrified of my ex, I don’t even know why he’s here, please help me.

So Bruce is his only option. And he knows how this is going to go. Knows that he’s going to get laughed at, mocked. But Bruce will still do something.

So he beelines it to the bar where Bruce is leaning. He knows that his hands are shaking, they always do when He’s involved. He knows that his breath is stuttering, because he hates that there’s a looming, ever present He in his life.

When Bruce notices Hal barrelling towards him, he’s immediately on alert. Hal’s eyes are scanning the crowd, but they keep bouncing back to Bruce, wide and panicked. Next to nothing makes Hal Jordan panic. Bruce knows because he spends an embarrassing amount of time cataloging Hal’s body language, his facial expressions.

“I need your help.” Those are the first words out of Hal’s mouth when he gets within speaking distance. Not we have a problem or the world is ending or anything like Bruce was expecting. But Bruce still doesn’t relax, because there are only a handful of times Hal has ever looked like this, usually after they’ve all been in the middle of battle. Bruce has seen Hal like this when he’s up against something much bigger than himself, when the Lantern has felt hopeless. Bruce sets down the glass in his hand and turns his full attention to Hal.

“What do you need me to do?” Is what Bruce replies with. Which stuns Hal, really. It shouldn’t, but it does. It stuns him that someone would be so willing to help him, no questions asked. It takes him a moment to get the words out, and he suddenly feels like he should have rehearsed this in his head, but he was too busy replaying every horrible threat and insult that his mouth ever spat.

“I need you to pretend to be my date. Just for a moment. My ex is here and I think he saw me, and I know that doesn’t sound like an emergency, but he’s... well... he’s not a great guy,” Hal rushes out, all in one breath.

Hal is embarrassed, really, to be asking for help. It’s not like the guy he’s running from is dangerous, really. He’s just scared.

“Okay, where is he?” Bruce doesn’t even hesitate in agreeing. And isn’t that something. He doesn’t doesn’t mock him. Doesn’t say but you’re a superhero. Doesn’t comment on the fact that Hal’s ex is a guy.

In truth, Bruce has experience with bad exes. He hasn’t had any particularly crazy ones himself, but his children have dealt with them. And if Hal thinks that the only thing that will keep him safe is a fake boyfriend or date? Then Bruce can do that.

“I’m not sure. I lost sight of him,” Hal says. Bruce nods and places a hand on Hal’s shoulder, guides him closer to the bar so they can both sit down. Hal hunches over, tries to make himself smaller, and Bruce is furious at the person who made Hal Jordan feel the need to be small.

“Hal... Hey, look at me,” Bruce says, as he waits patiently for Hal to make eye contact, “It’ll be okay. I’ll follow your lead.”

As if on queue a man saunters over to both Bruce and Hal. Bruce notes how the man’s gaze seems to rake over Hal causing the man to squirm even more in his seat.

“Hal Jordan! It’s been years!” Is the first thing out of the man’s mouth. The man’s smile is wide and condescending; he’s pining Hal down with a stare that dares him to move. He hasn’t even noticed Bruce sitting next to Hal yet. Hal stands, pushing his chair back and turning to face him Bruce doesn’t miss the way that Hal stands between them as if he were some impermeable barrier.

“Aaron. You know there’s a reason for that.” Hal’s voice is dangerously flat. From his angle, Bruce can see how hard the other man’s nails are digging into his palm.

“This again? Come on, let’s get a drink, catch up.” Aaron takes a step forward. Hal holds his ground, clenches his fist tighter.

“I have a date,” Hal says, his voice getting sharper. Before Bruce has a chance to move next to Hal, Aaron opens his mouth again.

“Oh sure, as if. Come on.” Aaron reaches out towards Hal, about to grab his arm. Hal gives a full body flinch. Bruce stands so fast that his stool nearly tips over. He’s quick to step next to Hal, making sure he’s in his line of sight before wrapping an arm around Hal’s waist.

Aaron registers who he is and freezes in shock. Bruce has to take the second of silence to remember where he is, to remember that people are watching and he can’t just punch this asshole in the face.

“Who’s this, babe?” Bruce asks, his voice every bit the airheaded billionaire. He knows his smile is strained, that his eyes are deadly. He doesn’t really care. He wants Aaron to try him.

Aaron turns back to Hal and sneers.

“Really, Hal? You expect me to believe that he’s your date?”

Bruce can feel Hal’s hands shaking. He tightens his grip on Hal’s waist.

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re implying, Mr…”

“Baker. Aaron Baker,” he says with confidence. Even going so far as to hold out his hand to Bruce. Bruce ignores it. Aaron clears his throat and drops his arm.

“All I’m saying is that it’s a little unbelievable that you’d be seen with Hal-”

It’s really a testament to Bruce’s self control that he doesn’t give into the urge to break the guy’s jaw.

“Mr. Baker. Might I remind you who’s house you are in? I don’t take kindly to guests insulting my boyfriend,” Bruce snaps, his voice drifting a lot closer to Batman then Bruce Wayne.

“Mr. Wayne, I-”

“You were just leaving, I think.”

Aaron looks to Hal expectantly. When Hal doesn’t say anything, Aaron scoffs and walks away towards the exit. When he’s out of earshot, Bruce turns towards Hal, whose eyes are still trained on Aaron. His whole body is tense, from his jaw to his fists. There’s blood in between his fingertips.

Bruce glances around, sees that Dick is already watching them. Dick gives him a nod, understanding exactly what Brue needs just from a glance.

Hal watches until Aaron walks out the door.


Bruce is wrapping Hal’s hand. Bruce is still with him. Still standing in front of him, silent, his face pulled into a scowl. The other man still hasn’t said a thing about it. Hasn’t commented that Hal is bigger than Aaron, that Hal still flinched away from his ex. Hasn’t called Hal a coward for not saying a damn thing, for needing Bruce to rescue him. For the fingernail-shaped wounds on his still-shaking palms.

“Are you alright?” Bruce asks when he’s done with the bandages. Hal’s still leaning against the sink, Bruce a few steps back from him. Hal laughs, a bitter and angry thing that feels like it’s punched out of him.

“He didn’t even touch me. Barely even said anything,” Hal says. His voice feels much too loud for the much too large bathroom. Bruce said something about it being this floor's main bathroom.

“He didn’t have to. You’re allowed to not feel okay, Hal,” Bruce says. And it feels like Bruce is looking right through him.

“I know, I’m allowed to, but thanks for the permission, boss,” Hal snaps back. Bruce’s face remains unchanged and Hal- fuck, Hal is so tired.

“Sorry, I,” Hal takes a deep breath, “there’s just bad memories there.”

Bruce’s eyes are sharp and calculating, they always have been. They’re the eyes of a detective, a watchful parent, Gotham’s guardian. Having the full force of that gaze turned on him makes Hal feel as if his soul has been barred for Bruce alone.

“Thank you, by the way, for helping me. You can make fun of me all you want for this, just please don’t tell anyone else,” Hal says.

“Hal... I would never use something like this against you. There is nothing to use against you. Damn that man for ever making you feel differently.” Bruce’s voice is firm, gaining an edge to it when he mentions Aaron. Hal stares at him in shock.

Bruce takes a deep breath, seems to deliberate for a moment before closing the short distance between them carefully. He gently places a hand on Hal’s shoulder, and places a kiss on Hal’s cheek.

“Oh,” Hal whispers. Bruce gives him a small smile and starts pulling away, and oh no Hal can’t have that. So he uses his uninjured hand to grab Bruce’s shirt and pull him into a real kiss.

Notes:

I still have mixed feelings about this. I’m aware that it’s a bit OOC. I can’t write Hal for the life of me so I always have to put him through some sort of trauma to get him to talk to Bruce. Sorry Hal :/

Also tomorrow's fic is a little over 100 words so I'll be posting that on tumblr instead of ao3.

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