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if by the sun and moon i swore

Summary:

The day Ainosuke stops being their friend, he walks out on them and Kaoru is still hopeful he’ll return. Kojiro knows better though. Ainosuke is leaving them behind, on to bigger and better things, tired of them. And he was warned about this, about letting himself get attached to vampires, and he’d ignored every red flag along the way. 
He’d make a joke about werewolves being colorblind, but the raging pain of shattered pack bond in his chest sort of of distracts him from any attempt at humor. 

Or: the one where Joe's a werewolf, and that doesn't help how much he's in love with one Cherry Blossom.

Notes:

title from "bitter water" by the oh hellos

Work Text:

The more they start hanging around with Ainosuke, the more Kojiro becomes painfully aware that Kaoru is crushing on Ainosuke. It’s obvious, with the way Kaoru watches him, the easy way he moves around him, so much less reserved, less the stoic creature of the night he’d have everyone else believe. Distantly Kojiro thinks he should be happy he even gets to be friends with the two of them. They’re in a league all their own with how incredible they are, and while he knows he’s talented too, there’s just something about the two of them. They captivate anyone they come across. 

But far more loudly than that, the animal side of him, something possessive and instinct driven, insists that he’s better for Kaoru than Ainosuke could ever be, and he needs to make that known. He shouldn’t settle for being their friend. He could make Kaoru his, Ainosuke be damned.

He writes it off as the full moon nearing and his mile wide protective streak where Kaoru’s concerned, a blossoming pack bond, forming despite every effort to prevent it. 

Ainosuke’s their friend, and Kaoru just has a crush. His wolf side is just acting up with all the extra energy.

He doesn’t bring it up to either of them. He doesn’t want to scare either of them off, and he’s been warned by far too many people not to trust a vampire with too much of himself, anyway. The “natural enemies” idea is certainly a bit of an exaggeration, but there’s pieces of him they just won’t understand. Or so he’s told. Enough people have told him this that it has to be true. Right? He doesn’t question it. 

It’s easier this way anyway. Keeps that can of worms closed tight. No need to open that up and cause any trouble. 

And that works for a while. With how often they’re together, it was only a matter of time before they came to learn more about him. A real pack bond forms not long after that, a bond he can feel wrap around his heart. He feels it when they skate together, tearing through streets like wolves before him would tear through the woods. He feels it when Kaoru helps him with his math homework, never his strong suit, when Ainosuke spots him the money for lunch after he leaves his wallet behind. He feels it the first time he spends a full moon with them. 

They sit with him all night, like sentries, never leaving his side, even when his wolf side gets the better of him and he starts getting snappy and mean. From sundown to sunup, they stay with him, Kaoru stroking absently down his side to soothe him when the shift both ways has him writhing in pain. Kaoru isn’t normally so physically affectionate, and even through the agony, Kojiro revels in this, in his touch, in his attention. 

He does not examine why the bond he feels with Kaoru feels so much stronger than the one he feels with Ainosuke. He doesn’t. Instead he focuses on the way he can feel the warmth of the bond even from a distance, even when he feels out of step with their kinship as vampires, even when everything feels like too much, he’s got that bond, pulsing in time with his heart, and reminding him he’s not alone. 

~*~

The day Ainosuke stops being their friend, he walks out on them and Kaoru is still hopeful he’ll return. Kojiro knows better though.

Ainosuke is leaving them behind, on to bigger and better things, simply tired of them, off in pursuit of the Eve to his Adam. And that’s a monster all it’s own, but Kojiro just can’t bring himself to care right now. He was warned about this, about letting himself get attached to vampires, and he’d ignored every red flag along the way. 

He’d make a joke about werewolves being colorblind, but the raging pain in his chest sort of of distracts him from any attempt at humor. 

Kaoru’s convinced that Ainosuke will return to them, and for that reason, Kojiro won’t say anything. But he knows. Ainosuke doesn’t exist anymore, consumed completely by Adam. Kojiro has the shattered pack bond to prove it.

He’ll die before he crushes the hope Kaoru holds though, so he stifles the howl of pain he wants to let out, and forces a too wide smile, and offers to pay for dinner instead.

That, of course, only lasts for so long. They hardly make it through dinner before nausea settles in Kojiro’s gut, making him want to lose the meal he just ate. He can handle that well enough, though he’s sure he’s pulling a face as they walk out of the restaurant. Kaoru confirms that with a question after his well being. Kojiro opens his mouth to come up with some lie, bad seafood, maybe, but what comes out is a strangled scream, more wolf than man. 

In the blink of an eye, Kojiro’s on his knees, doubled over and trembling. A pitchy whine forces its way out of him, so strained it’s barely audible. He almost claws at his own arms, having to draw back when he realizes he’s sprouted claws, that his body is trying to shift in some vain effort to protect him from this mind-numbing pain. But there’s no way to protect him from this, no healing that’ll be kickstarted by shifting, no threat to run from. It’s his heart that’s betrayed him here. 

Distantly, he can hear Kaoru calling out to him, panic and worry radiating off of him in waves, so thick Kojiro nearly chokes on it. 

He can feel something inside him dying

His family had warned him. They had warned him and he had ignored them and they were right. He never should have trusted that fucking vampire. 

Or maybe he should have trusted Ainosuke more? Maybe if he’d only talked to him, told him the truth. Maybe if Kojiro had told Ainosuke that he was all but a part of him now, that he all but held a piece of Kojiro’s soul , with how much Kojiro cared for him. 

Maybe he would have stayed. 

Or maybe Kojiro just shouldn’t have befriended him in the first place, if this is all it got him. 

He should have listened to people who knew better. But he went and let his heart get ahead of his brain as it always does. 

And now here he is, half curled up on the sidewalk in the middle of the city, passersby whispering about how he must be a feral wolf, Kaoru asking if he should call an ambulance, and one of his strongest bonds shattering in his chest, lacerating his heart with every broken piece it fractures into. 

All because he got caught up in Ainosuke’s captivating presence. Deluded himself into thinking he could stay in it. 

The destruction of the pack bond doesn’t kill him.

The way Kaoru looks at him after that almost does. 

~*~

The last thing Kojiro’s aware of is watching Adam take his board in hand on the screen. 

He sees Adam rear back like he’s swinging a baseball bat. 

He sees the board connect with Kaoru’s face.

He sees red.

The next thing he’s aware of is Shadow’s arms around his middle, hauling him backwards. Miya and Langa are hovering over Kaoru where he still lays, far too still, on the ground. Adam, laid out underneath Kojiro, is grinning blood like a fucking maniac. Kojiro has never wanted to see someone dead more in his life.

He goes over to attend to Kaoru instead. His friend needs to get somewhere he can heal. And what he needs is more important than what Kojiro wants. 

He moves on autopilot, hardly registering anything around him as he crouches next to Kaoru, peeling back the remnants of that ridiculous mask he wears. It’s in tatters, and it’s not like the people gathered around them don’t know what he looks like anyway. Langa and Miya give him a wide berth, Shadow lingering nearby. They all look like they’re just waiting for him to snap, watching him take off Kaoru’s mask like seeing his face will set Kojiro off again. 

And as much as he wants to be pissed that they think so little of him, hurt that they’re poised to stop him like he’s some uncontrollable wild animal, seeing Kaoru’s face uncovered nearly does make him snap again. 

It takes every ounce of self control he possesses not to turn around and find that stupid smug smile and remove it from Adam’s face permanently. He’d heal, Kojiro’s sure. Stupid vampire biology. But he could probably do some lasting damage. At least prove some kind of point, maybe. 

If nothing else, it’d be satisfying. 

Adam would deserve it. 

Instead, Kojiro double and triple checks that Kaoru isn’t so injured that moving him would hurt him more. He ever so carefully gathers an unconscious Kaoru into his arms. He turns to Shadow and the kids. 

“Get out of here. Now,” he demands. 

They listen, probably in no small part due to the fact that Kojiro still looks crazed, half shifted and snarling. It most likely also helps that his arms are full of another person, making getting into an all out brawl again a distinctly difficult venture for him. 

With them safely away from Adam, Kojiro turns back to the monster in question. 

There are… so many things Kojiro wants to say to him. So many questions he wants to ask. So many things left unsaid and unanswered. 

Only one thing will come out of his mouth though. 

“How can you say he’s boring. Him, of all people. He’s… he’s perfect. What’s wrong with you?” 

Adam, twisted beast that he is, just chuckles darkly, wild eyes fixing on Kojiro, tongue snaking out to lick away the last of the blood from where Kojiro broke his nose. 

“Perfectly predictable, yes! Terribly boring. Nowhere near good enough to be my Eve! I suppose that’s fine for a dog like you, though, Joe . Isn’t that right? Always settling. Well! I’ll be going then! So long!”

Kojiro nearly sets Kaoru down to give chase as Adam turns and saunters off, casual as anything, like he hadn’t just tried to take off Kaoru’s head with a skateboard. 

Kaoru shifts against him though, and all thoughts of ripping Adam’s face off are gone. He needs to take care of Kaoru. Revenge can wait. 

It doesn’t take long to get back to his place, but it’s still too long for his liking, with how out of it Kaoru seems. Why hasn’t his head stopped bleeding? 

Loathe as he is to do so, he lets out a sigh and addresses Kaoru’s stupid AI.

“Carla? When was the last time Kaoru fed?” 

As always, the disembodied voice raises his hackles, but he makes a point to listen carefully. This is important. 

“Master last fed six days again, Kojiro-san.”

Six days. What the fuck was Kaoru thinking, skating against Adam running on empty like that?! What the hell is wrong with him?

Kojiro takes a deep breath and tries to think. He doesn’t know how bad Kaoru’s hurt, or how long it’ll take him to heal, hungry as he must be. He doesn’t know if Kaoru has the luxury of waiting to heal or if he’s too hurt. Kojiro could take him to the hospital, but what explanation could he give? He can’t very well walk in there and tell the nurses “Oh, yeah, he got brained with a skateboard by our lunatic ex-friend, no don’t call the cops, please”, can he? 

Kaoru needs to eat, is what he needs, needs blood to help get himself stronger so he can heal, and then they don’t have to deal with hospitals and nosy doctors and cops. 

But they’re at Kojiro’s place. And the emergency supply of blood he keeps at the back of his fridge went bad two weeks ago and he never got around to replacing it.

Shit. 

Okay. 

Well. He’s got blood inside his… him. 

He’ll make it work. This is far from the worst thing he’d do, if it means Kaoru is okay. 

Kojiro makes sure Kaoru is safely on the sofa, then settles on his knees beside it, clearing a bit of space around himself in case he keels over. He extends his claws on his right hand and with a sharp inhale, digs them into his left wrist. 

“Gods, you’re lucky I’m in love with you.”

Before he can begin to heal, he shoves his wrist into Kaoru’s mouth, pressing Kaoru’s fangs into his wrist and holding it there. For a few painfully drawn out moments, nothing happens, and the ringing in his ears is accompanied by the sound of his blood hitting the back of Kaoru’s throat in a slow steady drip.

Then, all at once, Kaoru jerks, sitting upright, fangs locking in place, hands seizing Kojiro’s forearm. The abrupt movement yanks Kojiro into an uncomfortable position, but he can’t quite leverage himself out of it, with how he’s sitting now, and with how fast he’s losing blood. 

He’s never done this before, never let anyone do this to him before, and it’s shocking how quickly he starts to feel it. His head is spinning, dizziness overtaking him before he can even think of how he’s going to get Kaoru to ease off. 

“Kaoru. Hey, Kao—” He’s barely begun to push back, trying to get Kaoru to let go, when everything goes black.

The next thing he knows, he’s blinking awake to possibly the worst headache he’s ever felt, and the driest mouth he’s ever had. 

“I could’ve killed you, you know,” a voice says, and a straw is shoved between his lips. 

Pink hair falls into his line of sight, and any blossoming worry dissipates. Kaoru. He stayed. That realization makes something in Kojiro’s chest sing, bleeding warmth in between his ribs. He lets out a low, happy noise, raspy in his dry throat, before trying to drink. 

“Didn’t though,” Kojiro mutters between a few cautious sips.

Kaoru tsks and sighs, looking down at Kojiro in something like disbelief. 

“I could have killed you. You confess you love me and then nearly let me kill you. How could you?”

Kojiro chokes. 

In the time it takes him to regain himself, Kaoru says nothing, watching him silently, at the ready should he need help, but carefully distant. 

Even once Kojiro’s collected himself, it takes him a couple more minutes to be able to speak, his heart thundering in his chest. Even if Kaoru didn’t have ridiculously good vampire hearing, Kojiro’s certain he’d be able to hear his heartbeat. 

“I didn’t think you could hear me,” Kojiro says, finally, as though that justifies anything.

Kaoru scoffs. “So you thought you’d just confess to me while I couldn’t hear? And that would be it?”

Kojiro sits up, slowly, holding his head as though that’ll stop it from spinning. He braces himself for the inevitable and sighs. 

“Yeah. Just… get it over with.” 

The memory of his pack bond with Ainosuke severing hits him like a truck in that moment, and he shivers with it, readying himself to live that agonizing pain again. He wonders how much worse it’ll be, with how much more he loves Kaoru. Maybe this one’ll break him, leave him a blank slate, empty-headed and useless. Maybe this is where it stops for him. Maybe—

There are lips pressed to his. 

The scent of fresh rain, metallic tinged, overwhelms him. 

Kojiro whimpers. 

“You thick skulled imbecile,” Kaoru says as he pulls away. There’s only fondness behind those words. “You never think do you?” 

With that, the intention of Kaoru’s first question hits him so hard it nearly sends him physically reeling. He looks up at Kaoru, wide eyed and whining without even realizing. 

Kaoru just smiles, a fond half-smirk. “I didn’t think so,” he says.

Kojiro kisses him to shut him up.