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Hulkcanons

Summary:

A bunch of different headcanons over the Agents of S.M.A.S.H! Feel free to request stuff you've always wanted to know a take on from someone who has run a roleplay blog of these clowns for over years now

Notes:

What the Smashers are like when drunk

(Rick and Skaar are written for what they will be like when older. I am a good and sweet writer who would never encourage poor readers to break the law...to anyone's notice)

Chapter 1: When drunk

Chapter Text

Skaar

Does not drink as I write him as 16-17 but when older, gets rather quiet when drinking. You think he might say something very meaningful, but no, Skaar is just silently thinking about something batshit wild to do and WILL do any dare he gets given. God help us all when he starts to drink. 

 

Rick

(Uhhh i guess also picture him older or like a “this is what he’s going to be like?? Legal drinking age is 18 in the UK and I kept forgetting I’m writing for American characters)

THINKS he’s going to be absolutely wild, but truthfully, Rick just slurs his words a lot and loses the ability to walk. He tried to walk down a sand dune after Hulk dropped something and instead slid down it for thirty minutes. 

 

Jen

Gets rambly about her problems and life. Jen will spend five minutes complaining about work or the latest villain before she usually tries to take a nap right where she sits. Jen drunkenly loves to have a bitchfest and is most likely to get into a brawl if pushed for it. 

 

Red

Either he's ready to get into a brawl as well or Red likes to lean against anyone and just...sit there? He seems to be close to falling asleep before Jen will do something wild and then Red is more than happy to follow her lead and egg Jen on. Falls asleep so easy. 

 

Hulk

Doesn't touch alcohol. He knows what it did to his father and the idea that he could be exactly like Brian or feel some way like that makes Hulk feel sick, so he stays away from it himself, but is perfectly fine to sit near his family when drinking. 

 

Samuel

You would think that someone so scientific would be quite normal when drunk, or that he would be quite angry as an ex-villain. You’re wrong. Samuel gets flirty and giggly when drunk and will often laze around in a chair or on the floor, chatting away to nothing before someone catches his eye and suddenly Samuel will flush and happily pour all sorts of nicknames onto people. It’s much worse when he’s dating a person as they become the sole focus of Samuel’s affection.

Chapter 2: Smashers as kids

Notes:

A small idea of what the Smashers are like kids. Feel free to suggest any headcanon ideas!

Brief warning for mentions of child abuse.

Chapter Text

Skaar

Rough and tumble kid as you would imagine. Skaar grew up on a planet ruled by war and it really shows when he got older. He would spend most of his days running around and eating whatever he could get his hands on before the Red King had taken Skaar and forced him into the gladiator ring where he spent the next few years being trained strictly.

 

Rick

Got beaten at the orphanage fairly often, which made Rick trust adults a whole lot less for it. He knew better than to let people see when he was upset or hurt and Rick was a lot more emotionally shut off as a kid compared to when he met Bruce and Hulk. He was soft to other kids though and used to try his best to cheer them up when things got rough, often using the guitar that had belonged to his father to cheer the other kids up.

 

Jen

Wanted to be a dancer so badly surprisingly. Jen had a big interest in Ace Attorney, sure, but her real interest lay in the fun of dancing and she loved being able to show Bruce some of her dance moves in turn for him teaching her neat science facts. Jen was a giant creative kid and this carried on for years until her mother died and after that, she had taken on more of a turn to then study law for the next few years.

 

Red

Typical rough brawling kid! Really admired his father for war stories and was exactly what you would have expected. The only difference is that when taking trips to Texas for the summer, Red would have been allowed to show a softer side that was encouraged by his aunt and uncle. He got more serious after a friend’s father died in front of him and began to apply himself to the air force in order to deal with the trauma...poorly.

 

Bruce/Hulk

Bruce was relatively quiet when dealing with an abusive father, but Rebecca did her best to make Bruce happy by teaching him and helping him learn as much as he wanted to, which was...rather a lot. Bruce has good memories of his mother baking with him and chatting away about neat science facts, but Hulk has memories of how Brian would always ruin those happy moments with a snarl and cruel fists. It was barely made better by Jen and his mother, but Hulk tries to avoid thinking about his childhood. 

 

Samuel

Big nerd kid as you can imagine. Samuel grew up being taught a lot of varied subjects by his mother before she left his family and after that came a rather lonely childhood with a neglectful father and abusive brother. Other than that, Samuel was big on sea creatures and would often spend hours looking through books about them and making up his own stories about them before hiding them away from Phil in case he tried to rip them up before Mom finally came back to see them again.

Chapter 3: What they smell like

Notes:

Next headcanon will feature about favourite ice cream flavours! I hope you enjoy and as always, if anyone wants, they can feel free to suggest any headcanon prompts! I enjoyed this one, though I struggled a little with Skaar and Hulk.

Chapter Text

Skaar

Smells of dirt as well as an odd spice smell? No one really knows exactly what it is but he also tends to smell of random foods from where he likes to hoard them away in his room. He also has this smell of rusted metal from where he spends hours sharpening and polishing his swords. Once in a while he likes to smell of Jen’s perfumes, particularly the flower ones and only a little bit.

 

Rick

Doesn’t smell of anything anymore after gaining his armour but Rick used to smell like mint and axe body spray because you KNOW he did. Later on he starts to smell more like baths salts when he starts doing self care that applies to his armour better. Sometimes has a whiff of peanut butter from where he usually eats shit out of the jar, but other than that? Scentless.

 

Jen

She smells of a lot of floral and fruity soaps. Jen changes them up often and if she has to constantly go around fighting and getting sweaty all day, then she deserves to have a nice bath with nice soaps, dammit. She’s also got this deeper smell, you know when you’re in a library and you swear all the books make a smell? Yeah, she has that too from working in her office half of the time.

 

Red

Gunpowder and a sharp crisp smell of where he cleans up as best as he can after working on his guns. The smell of sweat is heavier with Red, but it comes with an odd under layer of something burning from where he constantly is heating up and evaporating any moisture (he is very dehydrated oh god). Red used to smell of cigars too but now that he’s a hulk, the smell of tobacco bothers him too much, both for sensory input and bad memories. I like the idea that maybe Red starts to enjoy Jen’s fruity perfumes, like Skaar, but he’s a too macho to admit it.

 

Hulk

Surprisingly, he smells of fresh laundry despite the fact that he never wears a shirt??? Are his pants that powerful? No one wants to know. He has this odd under layering smell and no one quite realises that it’s actually gamma radiation giving off a faint smell from how strong it is. Other than that, Hulk smells of polish and coffee from where he spends hours cleaning his glass statue collection. 

 

Samuel

He smells of chemicals and rusted metal, like Skaar. But Samuel has a heavier smell of it from where he works in a lab all day and often has a habit of cutting himself with metal or spilling/drinking chemicals by accident. There’s also a strong metallic scent of blood that comes with Samuel and no one can ever really tell if it’s Samuel’s blood or someone else’s. Does anyone really want to try and find out?

Chapter 4: Favourite ice cream flavours

Notes:

Ice cream is so good. I want some rn ;-;

Chapter Text

Skaar

Neapolitan. He likes having as many flavours as he can and especially when they come in those tasty sandwiches. 

 

Rick

Cookie dough or birthday cake. After getting only flavours like vanilla and so rarely, Rick really loves the sweetest ice cream he can get his grubby claws on.

 

Jen

Cherry Garcia. Jen cannonly likes cherry and grape flavours, it’s terrible. Sometimes Jen gets some grain cereal and will put it in, just to make it more crunchy. 

 

Red

Vanilla because he is a simple boy, but lately Red’s been developing a love for caramel ice cream.

 

Hulk

Strawberry or chocolate. He likes the big tubs you could usually get of them at any small store since that’s what his mother would get as a surprise treat since it wasn’t like they could do anything better. It brings back memories for him, to sit up and eat right out of the tub late at night.

 

Samuel

Chocolate. He’ll argue that the caffeine helps, but really Samuel just really loves chocolate and has been known to eat large tubs of it in one sitting. Which does not work out when you put his head and a brain freeze together. Whoops.