Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The morning after, Leo woke up alone and for a moment he thought the events of last night had been nothing but another dream. He’d never admit to Beatrice quite how frequently she appeared in his unconscious thoughts.

But before his stomach could sink in disappointment, he saw the lantern, long since burned out, sitting where Beatrice had set it down. Leo’s shirt was discarded on the floor and in amongst the blankets there was an unmistakable gap, where another person had been.

Leo lay back, unable to suppress the grin that spread across his face.

It was real. And it had been better than all his dreams.

He shouldn’t have been surprised by that - Bea’s true brilliance had never quite been captured by his imagination. In the time between when he first saw her, and when she first met him, (and every spare moment since) his head had been full of imagined encounters, some (or most) of which made him blush. But in others, they simply spoke about everything and nothing in particular. Yet she was smarter, more interesting, funnier in real life. Granted, he hadn’t had much to go on. He’s only heard her shout at Daimler, seen her shove him and dismiss him, before he’d been completely and utterly gone for her. It’s no wonder his dreams didn’t do her justice.

But now - now he’d had those conversations, those looks, the dancing, those kisses he thought would never exist outside of his own mind. And last night - Leo rolled over before regretting doing so as the aches he’d managed to ignore came back in full force - it had seemed like every clock stopped, every pendulum held still, and it was just the two of them. It felt like hours but somehow also only moments. Surely it was more than moments though. Was that normal? True, Leo didn’t have much experience in that department- or any experience at all.

Did Beatrice?

Immediately Leo felt a strange and directionless sense of jealousy towards whatever nameless, faceless boy or boys had got to experience that with Beatrice, whomever was the first - because surely he wasn’t the first. Was Billy one of those? Adding a face and a name twisted Leo’s stomach further. Maybe that was why he was so protective of Beatrice, so keen to keep Leo away from her; they had some pre-existing...situation, even while Billy held back the fact he loved her.

What a mess.

Was that why he’d woken up alone? Maybe this really meant nothing to Beatrice, just something of a pastime. Or what if - what if Leo had simply been so, so unskilled in that particular field that Beatrice had decided to extricate herself from the situation - Leo’s previously irrepressible grin had been replaced with a worried frown.

I’m spiralling, he thought, shaking his head as though that would make the tangled thoughts disappear.

Beatrice was the one who had started it all last night so surely - surely - this wasn’t a one-sided thing. It was her who'd told him to take off his shirt and said that they weren’t going to hide anymore. As in everything, he’d simply followed her lead. The first time he’d kissed her was immediately after she’d said that she had been going to kiss him. That time they'd sat under the blanket together, as he stared determinedly at Sherlock's book, trying desperately to keep his heartbeat in check, terrified she’d hear it - that was after she'd said she was cold and it seemed like the sensible and chivalrous thing to offer. This was just another progression, in which he took his cues from her, still awed by the fact she was giving him cues at all.

And she’d seemed happy afterwards, while he held her hands in his and they talked about - what was it - her abandoned life as a professional cellist. And this was Beatrice. She’d told him to piss off at least once before, she’d have had no qualms about doing so again. But she’d stayed: he’d fallen asleep with her beside him - her breathing quiet and even, her hands against his bare chest. Peaceful. Safe.

He’d woken up alone, but maybe that just meant she had things to do, or that she didn’t want it to be obvious to the others. Leo could understand that, and given how ready Billy seemed at all times to beat him up, maybe it was for the best.

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder how Beatrice felt about it all in the cold light of day. Everything seemed different in the soft glow of candlelight.

Leo could hear voices and movement from elsewhere in the cellar so he slowly pulled himself up from the floor and made his way in their direction.

"- so I’m thinking we need to be getting information from Sherlock and the doctor. They both have a lot of the answers, more than they’d like us to know," Bea was talking animatedly to Spike and Billy.

Spike gave Leo a smile in greeting as he walked over and Billy managed a tense nod. Leo's blood froze. Did Billy know? Was Billy angry at him again? But then he looked away, seemingly preoccupied. Maybe there was a different reason his hands seemed to be in tighter fists than usual, his face set in a hard line.

Bea was looking resolutely anywhere but Leo.

Oh dear.

'Right so do you want me and Bill to tail Watson, see what he’s up to -'

"No!" Bea interrupted, seeming to startle even herself, “actually I think me and Leo should follow him,"

A tiny glimmer of hope started fluttering around Leo's bruised ribcage.

She wants to spend more time with me on my own that must mean she doesn’t hate me which means everything is okay but she still isn’t looking at me why won’t she look at me -

"Yeah we discussed it last night," she continued.

She might as well have stolen the very air from his lungs.

Billy and Spike shrugged, before starting their own muttered conversation.

Bea glanced up, uncharacteristically shyly, finally meeting Leo's eyes.

She gave a tiny smile, almost unnoticeable and the hope in his heart went wild.

Chapter Text

Bea woke up as the first sounds of the day started drifting in from the street. As she opened her eyes, she realised she wasn’t where she usually slept. It was still clearly the cellar, but why was she somewhere else in it...

The sound of Leo shifting slightly in his sleep brought everything back to her. Instantly she was wide awake.

Turning to face him, Bea tried to stay as quiet as possible, loathe to wake him when he looked so peaceful, so soft. It took an embarrassing amount of self control to not reach out and run her fingers along his jawline, through his hair, but somehow she managed.

There was something about him, something different to everyone else she knew. It had been obvious since he’d appeared in front of her with his extensive and weirdly relevant bird knowledge. It felt like he knew her somehow, and already cared what she thought, even though they’d never met before. They definitely hadn’t; Bea would have remembered him. But still, there was that sense of not-quite familiarity, but almost.

Well, she blushed slightly, they were certainly familiar now.

Tempting as it was to stay lying next to Leo (and admiring the view) Bea knew she would never hear the end of it if anyone found them. It wasn’t necessarily that she wanted to keep this new development a secret, but rather wanted to avoid the merciless teasing and potential awkwardness in the group. For once, it felt nice to have something just hers. This situation was private, personal - just for her and Leo.

So reluctantly and silently, Bea got up, and went to change, occasionally glancing back at Leo's sleeping form and smiling to herself. Thank goodness Jessie couldn’t see her. If she wasn’t so happy, Bea was sure she’d be mortified by her own reactions, especially since they felt entirely out of her control.

Everyone was still asleep, so Bea decided to take a walk, to clear her head and work out the next steps.

The next steps of the investigations, that is.

Not the next steps with Leo, as much as her mind seemed to drift naturally in that direction.

It wasn’t as if Bea hadn’t ever engaged in shenanigans. She’d had experience. Well, not much. And not with that. And not in any way that involved feelings like the ones she felt now. As she walked Bea could feel her insides twisting into tight knots. Was it a mistake? No, she definitely didn’t regret it. And it definitely wasn't one-sided. She'd started it, touched Leo first, but he’d certainly been an enthusiastic participant. Maybe enthusiastic was the wrong word, given how careful, how gentle he’d been. It was like he thought she could break at any moment, or that the moment itself could shatter. People didn’t tend to treat Bea like that - like she was precious, like she deserved to be handled with care. Most people thought she was broken, or deserved to be, and didn’t care much if they were the ones to break her. Another way Leo was different.

But was that to do with her or Leo?

Maybe he treats every girl he’s with like that - maybe it’s just how a gentleman behaves.

A strange sense of jealousy sprouted in the pit of Bea's stomach at the thought of other girls who got to touch Leo's hair and be held by him. Bea shuddered. Jealousy wasn’t something she felt often, and certainly wasn’t a sensation she enjoyed.

Besides, she had no right to feel like this. It was natural that Leo would have had prior experience - a decent lad, good looking (okay, great looking), not to mention whatever income and access he got from working for that uncle of his. Bea was probably just the latest in a long line of girls Leo made feel like they were the only two people in the world.

Although, she could have sworn there was something more, something special about the two of them together. And he seemed to feel it too. He’d stuck around, he’d come back, he’d showed up bruised like the damp and dirty cellar was the only place he wanted to be. That had to mean something.

Without realising, Bea had gone round in an odd circle, and was back at the cellar.

What now? Should I pretend nothing happened? Should I gauge his reaction first and see if last night meant to him what it meant to me? Oh and what about the investigation?

That was, after all, what she’d intended to think over as she walked. Huge success in that department.

It still felt like they were trying to solve a puzzle with half the pieces missing. Sherlock had filled a few gaps, but certainly still had more information to give (whether he would be willing or able to share was a different matter). As for Watson, he certainly knew more than he was letting on, and if they were to be opponents of some kind in this game, it was important to keep track of what he was doing, as well as trying to work out what he knew. That seemed enough to be getting on with, at least until the next monster appeared.

If Bea thought really hard, she could sort of remember how life was before the rip. A bit of petty theft here, trying to stop Billy entering himself in fights there, nights huddled up and drinking in the cellar. Normality. But Leo wasn’t there. He hadn’t needed to be for the good moments to exist but now - Bea couldn’t quite see good moments happening without him there. It was odd, how quickly he’d become so integral to her life, to her happiness. But she wouldn’t change it, even if she knew how.

"What are you smiling about Bumble?"

Bea jumped a little, having got most of the way into the cellar without noticing Billy sitting in the corner, scratching a knife against the wall in absent-minded frustration.

‘Nothing. Just thinking. Morning, Spike,'

Spike sat down and rested his face on his hands

“What’s the plan for today then Bumble? Pretty sure there aren’t any new monsters to fight off or weird cults to infiltrate -“

'Does that mean we get a day off? Oh please, Bea; I’d love a day off. I’m too old for this kind of stress - I need a break'

'Shut up, Spike,' Bea laughed good-naturedly, ‘I was thinking that since no new monsters have shown up, we should take the opportunity to arm ourselves -'

'Oh now this is something I can get on board with - haven’t I been saying we need some guns or I dunno bayonets or something-' Spike had perked up massively,

"What are you going to do with those you idiot? You can’t even fight!"

'Um that’s why I need weapons, obviously. Use your head Bill'

"Are you calling me stupid?"

‘I’m just saying, much as I appreciate the money you earn by volunteering to get beaten up and beat up others, all those knocks on the noggin are going to have an impact sometime, and you weren’t even that bright to start off with so..."

"Okay I’m going to kill you. Bea, I'm going to kill him. You don’t need to watch this -"

'Hey!' Bea interrupted them by hitting the table. 'Nobody is getting weapons - Not least because I don’t trust you two to not kill each other one of these days. As I was going to say, we should take the opportunity to arm ourselves with knowledge'.

'Oh,' Spike sighed, 'admittedly that does seem like a more sensible reaction'

'Yeah, I know. Sherlock's given me a lot of useful information since he stopped pissing on the floorboards, and it’s clear he and Watson know a lot about the rip and how we deal with it, so I’m thinking we need to be getting information from Sherlock and the doctor. They both have a lot of the answers, more than they’d like us to know.'

As she was speaking, Bea could see Leo approaching.

Her heart skipped a beat (a terrible cliché, but distressingly accurate). She never had figured out how to approach this, and definitely not in front of Spike and Billy. Bea could feel a blush threatening to rise on her cheeks as she felt Leo's gaze on her.

Just don’t look at him. That’ll delay the problem.

Still, as she stared resolutely at her feet, and then at the wall (there was no way she was giving Billy weapons if that was the damage he could do to their home with just a knife and some kind of internal conflict), Bea could tell he was looking at her.

After about a second, albeit the longest second of her life, Spike spoke up.

'Right so do you want me and Bill to tail Watson, see what he’s up to -'

'No!'

That was unexpected. Definitely did not mean to say that out loud.

Where am I going with this?

“actually I think me and Leo should follow him,"

What an exciting development. Bea's voice seemed to be operating independently of her brain.

Leo was still looking at her, the default intensity clearly having been dialled up. But she couldn’t look at him.

Why can’t I look at him? What am I scared of seeing in his eyes? What if he thinks I’m not looking at him because I regret last night or something like that? What if -

"Yeah we discussed it last night"

Again, her voice operated without any conscious input.

Subtle.

Billy and Spike shrugged, before starting their own muttered conversation.

Although her eyeline felt leaden, fixed on any other point, Bea glanced up at Leo. He seemed sort of unsure. But there was an unrecognisable gleam in his eyes. She gave a tiny smile, partly to reassure him of something - quite what was unclear - and his whole face seemed to light up.

Bea forced herself to hold the eye contact, even though the brilliance of Leo's faint smile and hopeful eyes made her want to look away.

The feeling she’d had right after she’d woken up was back, but she could see it reflected in Leo.

Maybe they were on the same page, after all.