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Immortals attempt to fit into a modern highschool

Summary:

Teyvat has modernized, gods and adepti are only seen as fairytales. For unknown reasons four dumb immortals try to live as normal high schoolers, it’s chaos.

Notes:

Welcome to my dumb meme fic,, I’m bad at writing so it’ll probably be mostly dialogue/texts. In between the bad jokes there will be some plot sprinkled in...

SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIENDS MICAH AND NORAH FOR READING THIS FOR ME!!! y’all are great honestly

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: In Which Venti Blows Up a Music Room

Chapter Text

Barbatos: Heeeyyy

Barbatos: is it normal for a highschooler to create a mini vortex in the music room????

Xiao: venti-no
xiao: What did you do
xiao: istg

 

Barbatos : weeeellllll. . . .
Babatos: I may have created a mini vortex in the music room??

Xiao: w h y

Borbatos: a bitch was being homophobic to keqing and mona and then i sort of lost control? and now were here.. .

Xiao: you are the reason the archons are always so close to being found out
Xiao: Do you want me to ask Zhongli to help deal with this?

Barbatos: Could you come?
Barbatos: please?

Xiao:
Xiao: fine

 

* * *

"Venti, this is your fifth visit to the office this month. I like you but if you keep this up I'm going to have to suspend you," The VP Sounds angry, great. After nodding at the seeratary I walk into the VP's office.

" I'm sorry sir, I don't know what happened. I can pay to fix the music room?" Venti Sounds genwinly worried this time at least.

"sorry for the interupption,I was asked to pick venti up by the student council," He seems shocked by my presence but willing to let venti go.

With a small sigh he says 'fine, just try not to Cause too much trouble."

Despite the situation Venti winks and states "of cause Not! We're your best students!"

I pull him out of the room.

***

"I am at a loss for words," despite this statement, zhongli yells at me for another hour. My only saving grace from the "you almost exposed us" lecture is when Jean and Lisa come to yell at me.

Yay.

"Xiaooo, you have to save me from theeemmmm!"

"If you didn't wanna get yelled at you shouldn't have blown up the music room," he replys with a neutral tone. I pout. he falls for it. Puppy eyes work everytime! "fine, let's go," he grumbles.

* * *

"HOLY FUCK!"

I nearly fall out of my seat.

"Archons xingqiu!" I yelp. I really should be used to his antics by now, yet every time he somehow gets me.

"Did you hear? Venti Set off a tOrNaDo in the music room!"

"..." what? how did he even do that? The best vision users would struggle with such a task, how could a HIGHSCHOOLER do it by mistake?

"yun?"

"yea?"

"you were lost in thought is all," he walks around the table and hugs me. "I love you." I smile and lean into the embrace.

"you too qiu"

"That's gay,"

"we are literally both gay?"

"Not if you ask my parents," he states as if it wasn't something he struggles with most days.

I frown, "Well their opinions don't count." I know he wouldn't want me to make a big deal about it, especially not here.

***

Cocogoat: xiao

xiao: Ganyu

Cocogoat: I've been forced to take a break If you don't hear from me again talk to Ningguang
Cocogoat: Also you're on babysitting duty

Xiao: Both of the idiots?

Cocogoat: hace fun!:)

"Venti put the wine down,"

"fiiiinnneee," He doesn't put the wine down. This is going to be a long night.

"We have to go pick up zhongIi,"

"Do you want me to die?"

".."

"XIAO!"

***

"Babe why is someone screaming outside our dorm?"

"Wanna go check it out?"

"Nevermind it's just venti"

"Who's chasing him this time, Beidou?"

"ZhongIi."

with that conversation over Ninggung and I turn on a movie, a very cute date if I do say so myself. I don't even think to question why this kid is always getting into the wierdest situations.

***
Chongyun created a group chat

Chongyun added 9+ people

chongyun named the chat "They sus as hell"

Beidou: what?
Beidou: why am I here?

Chongyun: I have gathered yon here today to question wtf is going on with Venti, Xiao, Zhongi,

Albedo: Now that you mention it they do act a little strange.

Jean: I assume you all heard about Venti blowing up the music room then

Ningguang: they all are strangely powerful

Sucrose: maybe they're just good with visions?
Sucrose: We shouldn't jump to conclusions right?

fischl: I do belive that the student who goes by "green" is acting rather suspicious

Oz: She means green sus.

XingqiU: Ganyu seems close to them maybe she knows something?
Xingqiu: @Ganyu

***

cool immortals gang:

Cocogoat: guys we have an issue.
Cocogoat: a big issue

rock man: what seems to be the problem?

edgy introvert: what did barbatos do now??

bard: WHY DO YOU ASSUME IT'S ME?
bard: also calling me barbatos? rood.

rock man: When is it not you?

bard:,,

Cocogoat: ANYWAYS
Cocogoat: they think its wierd that we just showed up and are "Strangely powerful"

edgy introvert: o shit.

bard: time to go take a century long nap!

rock man: Don't even think about it.

bard: time to NOT go take a century long nap!
bard:(:

edgy introvert: well a bunch of teenagers can't figure it out right?

Chapter 2: In which hu tao gets murdered (not really)

Summary:

Hu Tao plays a prank on chongyun

Diluc loses his brain cells

Kaeya tries to be smart (Albedo does the thinking for him)

Venti can’t keep track of his shit

Notes:

Ayyyyeee it’s another chapter! Please note this one wasn’t read/edited beforehand so there will be 0 good grammar

Also umm I make up some lore about visions here with no research so let’s just pretend it makes sense

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"WHO THE FUCK PUT SPICE IN MY fOOD AGAIN?!"

"Come on Chongyun, it's just a little prank."

"Hey Hu Tao?"

"yes?"

"run."

***
A loud crash echos througout the school. I would say I'm shocked but, the students here are insane. Literally. The only reason I'm still sane is the fact I'm not on the student council and thus don't have to deal with this shit.

"Hey, Diluc?"

"yes?"

"Remeber the favour you owe me?"

"No, kaeya I don't. Please elaborate on when I would ever give you a favour."

"I cleaned up your dad's bar for you last week."

shit. I really don't have time to deal with Kaeya's stunts right now, but he wont leave me alone untill I do.

"What are you going to make me do now?" I sigh. I'm praying it doesn't have to do with the loud noise from earlier. (I know it does)

He smiles brightly, "I need you to go babysit the kids who caused the loud noise earlier until some other student council member gets there!"

"motherfucker," I grumble as I walk out of the room.

 

***

"Guys I swear to god if you don't stop with the PDA I'll kill you," Hu Tao states annoyed. Xingqiu responds to that particular threat by sticking his tongue out at her and hugging me. Of course I don't mind, but Hu Tao would probably go through with her threat so I push him off.

"Mean chongyun!" he whines, pouting.

"fine, come here," I reply. He walks over and sits on my lap. I think I see Ha Tao die a little bit more. She pulls out her phone and begins to play something, Xingqiu does too.

We sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

Then Diluc bursts into the room with a loud bang. We almost fall out of our seats.

"OK, heres whats going to happen: you all chill for a few minutes and I sit in the corner over there-" He points to the corner across the room from us "-and make sure no one dies."

"I thought the student council was going to talk to us though,"

"Yeah, well they'll be here in a bit."

***

It does indeed take "a bit" for someone to show up and it's none other than Zhongli. One of the people Chongyun is "suspicious" of. I want to say that I don't care, but some part of me has to admit that yun makes a point.

He walkes in looking like the definition of elagance and states in a caIm voice, "Please exuse my lateness, our class ran late." Zhongli then nods towards Diluc, who promptly leaves.

"I'm sure you're aware that what you did broke several rules and went so far as to damage school property," Holy shit. This kid has somehow masterd the ability to make you feel guilty for what you did all on your own.

We nod.

"And it goes without saying that an incident like this wont happen again?"

seemingly unable to speak we all nod again.

"Good. Now if you'll exuse me I have to head to history club now," and with that he turns and walks out of the room.

Ha Tao sums up my thoughts by saying, "What the fuck?"
***
They sus as hell:

Ha Tao: so that was weird.

Chongyun:^

Xingqiu: ^^

Beidou: what

Ningguang: what

Beidou: omg babe we're so in sync! !!

Mona: *Vomits*

Hu Tao: ,

Hu Tao: ANywAyS

Hu Tao: basically we were meant to get yelled by the student council but instead Zhongli walked in asked if we knew what we did was wrong told us not to do it again and then left.

Jean: wait why were you meant to get yelled at ???

Chonyun: no reason

Xinygqiu: ^

Ha Tao: ^^

Albedo: I can hear jean's soul dying from here

***
Qiu: Hey can i stay at urs tonight?

Chongyun: of course
chongyun: cuddles and a movie?

Qiu: yea
Qiu: I don't feel like dealing with my family tonight..

Chongyun: I get it
Chongyun: Love you

Qiu: you too <3

***

cool immortals gang:

rock man: I've done the impossible

Cocogoat: what did you do Zhongli

rock man: I found people just as distructive as Venti

cocogoat: pfft ZhongIi

bard:

edgy introvert: Lmao

bard: XIAO!
bard: YOU'RE MEANT TO BE ON MY SIDE!

edgy introvert: No <3

bard: you'd think that after 2000 years you'd get a little loyalty smh
bard: this isn't bully venti day

rock man: yes it is

Cocogoat: its always bully Venti day

edgy introvert: ^

bard: I feel betrayed

rock man: g o o d .

***
They sus as hell:

kaeya: wait
Kaeya: were here to figure out whats going on right

Ha Tao: you're just figuring this out now?

Kaeya: stfu
Kaeya: what if we did like an experiment?

Sucrose: ok, but What would we even do?

Kaeya: idk im not the smart one
Kaeya: @Albedo

Albedo: what?
Albedo: im busy

Sucrose: is there an experiment or test we could do to understand whats going on with Venti, zhongIi, and Xiao

Albedo: it depends.
Albedo: if i had a vision i could run a test to see how powerful it is, the other option is to just observe them for a bit and make Conclusions.
Albedo: theres also Some other things but I don't have the matireals to do them

***

Cool immortals gang:

bard: hey have any of you seen my Vision?

edgy introvert: did you leave it in the dorm again?

bard: i mean probably but i went back and it wasn't there
bard: i thought one of you had taken it to give it to me

edgy introvert: no

Cocogoat: Sorry nothing here

rock man: i haven't seen it
rock man: Want us to help look?

bard: yes please

Notes:

The stuff about tests on visions is what I made up just so ya know

Umm I actually tried to do some plot in this chapter

Hope you liked this mess

Chapter 3: In which childe accidentally shoots Bennett

Summary:

Albedo does science
Venti is sad
Childe accidentally shoots Bennett and gets bullied by the harbingers
Xiao gets roped into the music club
Xingqiu actually has a braincell

Notes:

Bet y’all thought I was dead,, surprise bitch I’m back

So um don’t expect a posting schedule and enjoy the chapter!

SHOUT OUT TO MICAH FOR READING THIS FOR ME!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They sus as hell:

Albedo: Hey um what the actual fuck

Sucrose: whats wrong albedo?

Albedo: this isn't a vision
Albedo: yet it has some strange energy
Albedo: why would someone go through all the effort to make such an impresive fake if they have the power to give it energy already ?

Jean: At this point i'm not going to ask how you obtained this "Vision"
Jean: Instead I'm just gonna ask who need i to return it to

Albedo: you should really be asking Kaeya
Albedo: he's the one who gave it to me

Jean: why am I not surprised .. .

Hu tao: so we did get something out of that heist after all

Jean: you too huh?

Hu tao: oh would you look at the time
Hu Tao: gotta go!

Jean: @Kaeya who did you rob

Kaeya: Why do you assume I stole it, I'm hurt Jean.

Beidou: you definitly stole it

Albedo: that is the most likely senario

Sucrose: yes it seems so

Kaeya: EVEN SUCROSE?!
Kaeya: fine it was Venti's

Albedo: interesting

***

"Hey, Venti. I know this is really awkward but, here's your vision. Kaeya took it as a joke but I thought you would miss it," Jean says, shifting on her feet awkwardly outside my door. With my vision.

"Jean you are an angel, thank you so much!"

She hands it to me with a short nod, then leaves. As much as I would love to thank her more, I know she felt uncomfortable, so I let her leave. The first thing I do as I turn back into my dorm is make sure it can still turn into my lyre. Thank the archons it still can.

(I know I'm one of the archons, but modern slang has gotten to me ok? And I can always use a few more thanks.)

I spend a few minutes absentmindedly strumming my lyre, it reminds me of times and people long gone. It's an odd feeling, remembering; like a bittersweet longing, I miss them yet at the same time I wouldn't want to go back.

Maybe my age is finaly causing me to go all poetic.

Whatever, It's best not to think about it anyways.

***

Cool immortals gang:

bard: So jean just gave me my vision.
bard: apparantly kaeya stole it?
bard: still turns into my lyre though.

Cocogoat: t's great that you got it back undamaged!

bard: yeah.

rock man: you ok venti?

edgy introvert: yea you almost never use proper grammar when texting

bard: yeah im fine, just missing old friends is all.

Cocogoat: want us to come over?

bard: please?

***
Direct message: Albedo -> Chongyun

Chongyun: So it wasn't a vision but still had energy?

Albedo: ish.
Albedo: it wasn't a vision. it has no power over the elements, yet it still had some form of self contained energy or ability. things like changing physical characteristics, or location.

Chongyun: So someone made a fake vision then gave it some strange power ?

Albedo: that would be my best guess, but it gets even weirder because this type of ability is rarely seen even in the academic community. Generally people belive it stemed from alchemy but faded much quicker.
Albedo: its probably just a family heirloom or somethng but I'd love to talk to Venti about it more

Chongyun: So he must have a proper vision somewhere right?

Albedo: unless he's a god or something yes

***

Direct message Benny -> Razor

Benny: hey I'm gonna be late again
Benny: I'm stuck in the Nurse's office again..
Benny: sorry

Razor: is bennett ok?

Benny: yea! just a few scratches

Razor: Want Razor to come sit with bennett?

Benny: you don't have to!

Razor: Razor wants to

Benny: aww Razor thats so sweet!
Benny: of course you can come!

***
Archery Club:

Ganyu: who's arrow broke that window
Ganyu: it also hit bennett

Childe: haha oops

Amber: TF do you mean oops?

Childe: Well it WAS an accident!

Ganyu: look I know you just transfered here but you have to be careful
Ganyu: thankfully Bennett is ok, just remember that this is a club not a battle

Childe: will do loI

***
Harbingers:

Childe: Ayo just got detention check!

Scaramouche: ha dumbass

Signora: deserved

Childe: Why are you guys so rude to me :((

signora: because you suck

Scaramonche: ^^

Childe: feeling so attacked rn

Dottore: as you should

Signora: dude came here just to insult childe
Signora: iconic

***

"XIAO!"

Venti really knows how to draw attention; I see Xiao nearly jump out of his skin next to me, along with the entire hallway. Ha Tao seems to be enjoying the chaos, I wouldn't be shocked if she had something to do with why Venti is currently screaming.

Before he can respond, Xiao is hug tackled by a sprinting Venti.

"did you how they have the music club running?!"

"I thought they'd cancelled it, given the fact you destroyed the music room," I comment.

 

Venti giggles, "yeah! me too, but I just saw a poster!" At this point he pries himself off of Xiao and shoves a brightly coloured poster in my face. It advertises the music club, unsurprisingly, proudly boasting about their best in county award.

Xiao finally speaks up, "We already know you'll be joining so why are you here?"

"So rude!" Venti pouts, "I wanted to get you to join."

"No."

"Please?"

"... fine..."

"YAY!"

***

they sus as hell:

Xingqiu: ok so ignoring the fact that you guys stole something for this I have an idea
Xingqiu: they're all well known people in the school
xingqiu: let's just hang out in our normal clubs (since theres alot of overlap between our clubs and theirs) and we'll see if they do anything weird

Kaeya: I can't belive we went through all the work to plan a heist when we could have just chilled.

Diluc: you're so dumb istg

Kaeya: did he just come online for the first time to insult me?

Ha Tao: deserved.

Kaeya: ):

Notes:

Um I’m aware of the one time I said scaramonche instead of scaramouche but I left it in because the mistake was just so fucking funny,, scara m o n c h

Also oops I did a bit of angst I’m not sorry

As always comment if you see a mistake or just liked the chapter I love talking to y’all

Chapter 4: In which Albedo has one (1) braincell

Summary:

Xingqiu regrets his life decisions
Venti is annoying
Xiao has a breakdown
Zhongli is a good friend
Childe gets bullied
Albedo reads or something (idk I’m not a nerd)

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING!!

this chapter deals with some heavier themes, Xiao basically has a panic attack and deals with ptsd and karmic debt. It’s very much hurt/comfort but I want y’all to be safe and careful. If you want a summary of the plot relevant things in this chapter leave a comment and I’ll write one out!

Now on to the chaos I have created

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Venti, really?"

"I'm sure they'll love your flute Xiao!"

"I'm not playing the flute."

"But it's music club!"

"You already dragged me here," I sigh. "If I have to play something it'll be the base."

"WAIT YES!"

today is going to be a long day.

***
4 idiots (+ Xingqiu):

Qiu: how to undo an idea

Yun: what did you do

Tao: wait is this about the thing in the sus gc

Ling: what????

Tao: YOUD KNOW IF YOU WERE EVER ONLINE XIANGLING

Ling: COOKING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MEME GCS HU TAO

Yun: guys can you not for FIVE MINUTES
Yun: btw xiangling basically i made a gc to talk about the kid who keep causing chaos and last night xingqiu suggested that we just observe them during clubs and shit cause there’s a lot of overlap

Ling: and it took how long to figure that idea out?

Qiu: stfu if it’s such an easy idea why didn’t you come up with it?

Ling: cause I wasn’t aware that chat was a thing?

Tao: and who’s fault is that?

Ling: yours.

Tao: HOW

Qiu: A N Y W A Y S
Qiu: I regret it because the poetry club is now chaos
Qiu: I JUST WANTED SOME PEACE
Qiu: (looking at you hu tao)
Qiu: And one of these kids is playing a fucking kazoo while the other one talks about the history of flowers or some shit.

yan: Ooohhh that must be one of the kids fron music club!!!
Yan: One played some epic base and the other played whatever We could get his hands on... including the kazoo

Yun: so you three have been goofing around instead of helping
Yun: >: I

Qiu: sorry <3

Yan: sorry man

Tao: what?
Tao: oh sorry dude

***
for some archon forsaken reason this school makes us take a hilariously inaccurate myth/history course. We're currently doing a unit on Liyue, it's somehow worse.

I walk into class expecting it to be boring, exaggerated folk tales of Rex Lapis. Instead I see the word "yakshas" written on the board. I Know they're fiction but the comments still sting, along with the guilt and loss.

'Maybe I can just power through it" I think to myself as I walk to my seat. But as the teacher starts to talk my ears are slowly taken over by a sharp ringing. My other senses follow suit, all I can see are they're faces and the deep red blood.

My ears are no longer ringing, instead it's their voices. The whispers grow into a chorus of yelling, all of them telling me how awful I am, how I should just die. I can feel the chins on my wrists, heavy karmic debt weighing me down.

Before I know what I'm doing, I walk out of the classroom and sit on a random bench, not that I'm present enough to notice. My thoughts are hazy and I can barely tell whats real.

suddenly theres a clear, sharp note on a flute. As the melody continues I slowly return to reality.

"Are you alright my love?"

***

“I don’t care if you believe it’s an important cultural class, it is clearly making him upset and the mental health of your students is more important,” I state, my voice becoming sharp. I’ve been arguing with the principal to get Xiao out of that awful myth class to no avail.

“You know he has unique issues surrounding his mental state and agreed to give appropriate accommodations.”

“Those did not, and will never, include allowing him to graduate without a credit for a mandatory course!”

“There is an old saying in Liyue, ‘those who break their contracts will face the wrath of the rock,’ In our contract it was never specified that mandatory courses were exempt from accommodations. However it was clearly stated that any necessary accommodations to courses would be discussed and agreed to. I have a good friend who specializes in contract law if you would like her to look it over for us?” My temper is slipping, anymore of this and I doubt I’ll be able to control my powers fully. I would, however, reveal myself ten times over to save Xiao anymore heartache; even if I didn’t owe it to him, I’ve come to view him as a type of younger brother.

My veiled threat clearly worked, the principle seems suitably unnerved. I hand him the relevant form and a pen, he signs it quickly before practically shoving it back into my hands. I quietly turn and leave.

My friend needs me right now.

***
Music club gc:

Venti: me and Xiao won’t be able to make it today
Venti: sorry!

Barbra: Ahh no worries I hope everything is going well!

Xinyan: ^^^
Xinyan: Yup! We’ll just jam together next time guys!!

Venti: thanks for understanding <3

***
We sit on the roof, the old flute still plays beautifully. The sunset only helps the peaceful atmosphere. Zhongli is currently dealing with the school and Ganyu is speaking with the teacher, they help do much but I prefer my job. Just sitting and playing music for the person I’d most love to spend eternity with.

The wind softly blows, calm and sweet. It whispers of someone approaching the roof, I do not turn around. Xiao’s head is resting on my shoulder and I want to avoid disturbing him.

A moment later the old door squeaks and footsteps approach us.

“Hello?” I call out.

“Hi Venti, Xiao,” Zhongli’s voice replies. I hear Ganyu say a quiet greeting as well.

“Come, sit with us,” they do. We stay like that for a while. In a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company on an old rooftop.

It’s more peaceful than half the moments I’ve had in the past thousand years.

***

Dm Albedo -> Kaeya

Albedo: I’m not asking you to steal,
Albedo: but could you get me some more material to work with on our investigation?

Kaeya: why of course!
Kaeya: no request is to great coming from my favourite alchemist

***

They sus as hell:

Jean: where did they go?

Lisa: good question, it is strange that all four of them would leave class at the same time

Diluc: must I always be kept out of the loop?

Kaeya: it’s not our fault you never pay any attention

Diluc: you have 2 seconds to run

Chongyun: could you please explain Jean?

Jean: Xiao, Venti, Zhongli and Ganyu all left class at the same time, none of them were in the same class

Fischl: What an odd occurrence! I, the prinzessen Dre veritilung simply cannot fathom a reasonable explanation for such an event!

Oz: she means what the fuck.

Bennett: thanks for the translation oz!!!

Razor: Razor understands much better now...

Oz: I’m glad to be of service

Hu Tao: yea it was super weird,, I heard Zhongli going off on the principal too
Hu Tao: I’ve never seen him so openly angry

Barbra: That must be why Venti and Xiao said they couldn’t make it to music!

Sucrose: it would make sense for the two events to be related

Beidou: OK IT CANT JUST BE ME! DID ANYONE HEAR THE FLUTE MUSIC JUST NOW?.?!
Beidou: oh were y’all having a conversation? Sorry

Lisa: It’s fine, I heard it too...

Albedo: today just keeps getting stranger,
Albedo: Jean I will be taking over the lab today

Jean: just don’t blow anything up

Albedo: of course not

***
Harbinger gc:

Childe: image.png
Childe: haha look at the gays

Scaramouche: childe you are literally the most homosexual person I’ve ever had the displeasure of interacting with

Signora: ^^

Childe: :(
Childe: now I’m sad
Childe: at least I never played the flute while staring into the sunset

Scaramouche: no, you’re too dumb to do anything that nice

Childe: I demand to be treated better

Signora: your complaint has been filed, thanks for your feedback! Unfortunately we don’t care so shut the fuck up.

Dotorre: Lol

Scaramouche: he really does just show up to bully childe huh?
Scaramouche: as he should.

Childe: scara you better watch the fuck out I’m taking all the blankets tonight

Scaramouche: try it and perish

Childe: DOES THWT MEAN YOULL FIGHT ME????

scaramouche: no.

Childe: :(

Signora: the gays are taking over my tl again

Dotorre: pfft

***

“There has to be some mistake!” I mutter, I can’t find any flaw in my research but the data is so insane I have no doubt there’s something off. Who could have have a vision over 5000 years old.

Wait.

‘Unless hes some type of god’
‘They are strangely powerful’
‘Why would someone make a fake vision?’
‘No one could have a vision that’s 5000 years old’
‘He left a mythology course in a panic’

There’s no way. It’s got to be something else. I search it on my phone, something about these old gods has to be remarkably different from these kids. If I could find that it would be enough proof to throw this idea out. I’ll start with the yakshas, if there’s some correlation between Xiaos sudden exit and the course material....

There’s an old myth of the last yaksha being pulled from karmic debt by the sound of a flute.

‘Did anyone hear the flute music just now?’

I throw myself into reading.

Notes:

Xiao tripped and spilled his feelings all over this chapter, he’s not sorry. Neither am I.
Tune in next time to see the one smart person figure things out and maybe blow up a lab or two in the process

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 5: In which everyone is mildly concerned about the science nerd

Summary:

Venti pisses everyone off
Albedo ignores his health for science
A field trip is planned
Childe plans to cause chaos
Zhongli loses his sanity

Notes:

WOOOO NEW CHAPTER YAYYYY

pls be excited I’ve had this wip for so long,,

Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Cool imortals gang:

Cocogoat: HELP I'M BEING FORCED TO TAKE A BREAK

bard: what a terrible occurance.

Cocogoat: I HAVE A PAPER DUE!!!

bard: you do school ???

Cocogoat: YES

rock man: Venti how have you not failed?

bard: Xiao is nice and ganyu doesn't notice me taking her notes

Cocogoat: YOU WHAT

bard: Gotta run!

Cocogoat: v e n t i
***

They sus as hell:

Jean: has anyone seen albedo

Sucrose: he’s been in the library for a while I think
Sucrose: why?
Sucrose: has something happened??

Jean: no I just haven’t heard from him and was a little worried

Lisa: well you know how he gets with his research

Jean: ... I guess...

***

Dm: Jean -> Kaeya

Jean: Kaeya what did you give albedo

Kaeya: what makes you think it was me?

Jean: you’re the only one he’d ask that would actually do anything
Jean: now what did you give him and when

Kaeya: hmm well it was a day or two ago and he asked for some not stolen research material, so I gave him a vision I found lying on the ground
Kaeya: no clue where its from though

Jean: good enough
Jean: you know one of these days you’re going to have to be honest

Kaeya: well thankfully that day isn’t today

***

“Albedo?”

No response. I take a deep breath and walk further into the dark lab, messes of papers and books line the walls and floors.

“Albedo? Are you ok, you’ve been in here for days,” despite my quiet tone the noise in the otherwise silent workspace. I finally come across a light switch and turn on the lights, around a pile of books I see Albedo hunched over a book, looking like he hasn’t slept in a while.

“Hey, can you hear me?”

Albedo shoots up like a lightning bolt struck his chair, he whips his head towards me and visibly relaxes, “Hmm? Oh, yes I’m fine. Just absorbed in my book is all.”

I don’t believe him.

“What are you looking into?”

He tenses again, “… nothing.”

I start to walk over but before i make more than two steps he’s slammed his book shut and stands up. Without pause he steps towards me and asks, “What made you come look for me? I hope I haven’t forgotten something for the student council.”

“No, you’re fine. We were just worried about you is all,” I reply, still unsure of the situation.

***

Notes:

Day one: further testing run on vision confirms its date, approximately 5 thousand years old.

Rented books and shows from library on old myths, specifically the yaksha and adepti from 5000 years ago, reading hasn’t started due to outside responsibilities.

 

Day two: machinery designed to mimic elemental sight shows far more elemental energy than a standard vision, baseline used was my geo vision of about three years, find standard anemo vision for more accurate readings.

All recorded yaksha, other than the vigilant one, died over 2000 years ago, removes them as potential owners of vision.

No adepti are actively related to music, though the only story surviving about the vigilant yaksha talks about his karmic debt

Day three: Expanded net of research to include all immortal beings of approximately 5000 years old, archons not included as they do not have a vision, though the only immortal with a connection to music is the anemo archon Barbatos. Asked Jean for her anemo vision for baseline testing, she refused; find another student with an anemo vision.

The vigilant yaksha was the one with an anemo vision, lends further evidence to the theory of him being the owner.

Found only two stories related to this adeptus, one being the story of all five yakshas and the other being the vigilant yaksha almost falling to karmic debt only to be saved by the sound of a flute.

Find potential candidates for the player of this flute.

***

Jean —> sucrose:

Jean: please look after Albedo
Jean: I’m worried about him, he won’t say what he’s researching and hasn’t stopped in days

Sucrose: I’ll see what I can do, he doesnt listen to anyone when he’s like this, I’ll make sure he eats and sleeps though

Jean: thank you

***

I’m sitting in history class, quite enjoying the interpretations of my actions; when the speaker lets out a horrible squeak, (they really should fix that, rather annoying) “please excuse the interruption students, but the school has organized a field trip to downtown Mondstat for all high school kids. Your teachers will give you more information at the end of the day, thank you!”

Oh boy, this is going to be fun. Venti won’t let me be for more than two seconds while we’re there, and he and xiao will be all gross. The class is already mumbling and the teacher can’t calm them down before the bell goes.

Before I can get up to leave a hyperactive wind god and unamused looking adeptus are standing above me,

“Today is going to be a long day,” I mumble.

***

Harbinger gc:

Childe: so y’all going on the trip?
Childe: I wanna cause some good old chaos but it’s boring without help

Signora: why would we help you?

Childe: because I have good ideas?

Scaramouche: you don’t, but I do love the idea of fucking with a historical city

Dotorre: so you’re taking my lasers again?

Childe: yea
Childe: thanks <3

***

Student council:

Ningguang: all clubs have been temporarily suspended, the trip is student suggested, run, and planned. We need all hands on deck

Jean: as she said, this means those who have personal projects may also have to replan, thanks!

***

Jean —> sucrose:

Jean: you sure this will work?

Sucrose: a mandatory responsibility will pull him from his funk and the field trip will help him relax
Sucrose: trust me, unless it’s something so unfathomably interesting to him this will help!

Jean: great!
Jean: thank you for the help sucrose!

Sucrose: anytime Jean!

***

Notes:

I apologize for the short chapter,,, but it is what it is lol

In other news I wrote this while watching the old space jam and istg it’s a fever dream,,, this shit is insane

Rewatch it if you can you will understand what I mean

Chapter 6: in which hu tao becomes a ganyu simp (same girl same)

Summary:

venti annoys his bf (as per usual)
zhongli meets childe
albedo is extra
xiao is sad
signora makes fun of her fellow gay harbingers (in a light hearted way, we dont do homophobia here)
hu tao simps

Notes:

TW!!

there are more mentions of xiao having panic attacks/flashbacks, nothing too intense but stay safe besties

ANYWAYS im back and it hasnt been two months i think i deserve a medal for this,, sorry for the sorta filler chapter,, i really did plan on having things happen but after writing it i realized how long it was lmao

i wont make promises as to next chapter but i do want things to happen soon

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Rad friend group, plus hu tao:

Tao: so how do y’all wanna do rooms for the trippppp

Qiu: well I’m rooming with yunyun

Yun: yea

Tao: well no shit
Tao: y’all are such simps for each other

Ling: xinyan said we could room together

Yan: yea!!
Yan: can’t have bae rooming with anyone else

Tao: I should have expected y’all would leave me alone 😔😔

Qiu: rip

Ling: L

***

“Pleaseeeeeeee?”

“You are aware bothering him isn’t going to make him more likely to say yes right?”

“False, Xiao would do anything if I asked enough”

I sigh because I know it’s true, not in a bad sense, venti can be annoying but he would never do anything to put those he cares about in danger. Or archons for it trap them in anyway, metaphorical or physical.

Xiao sighs in a way that signals to everyone that he’s lost but keeps up the centuries-old act anyways, “No, I already joined your stupid music club.”

By this point the conversation plays out like it’s scripted, so I tune them out. I instead hope to avoid being forced to room with someone, unlike ganyu and venti I don’t like interacting with mortals. Their deaths and wishes are too much for an old god, sometimes even more painful than those of the archons I once knew. Baal and her eternity have faded to dust like so many, brought to a long dead gods domain that I now preside over.

Before I can finish my musings I’m knocked to the floor by a tall, ginger man. He apologizes with nervous laughter barely covering a sharp and calculating mind.

“So so sorry, I didn’t see you in my rush!” He goes on.

“No need to worry, do you have a name I can call you by?” I ask, for once interested in being present.

“Ah well, my friends just call me Childe,” he laughs, “it’s a code name of sorts.”

“My name is zhongli, nice to meet you,” I offer my hand to shake, he shakes it quickly before beginning to talk again,

“Well since I knocked you over I should do something to make it up to you… I know! Meet me at this coffee shop tomorrow at 4, we can talk more then!”

Before I can get a word out I find myself standing next to a laughing venti with a business card shoved in my hands.

***

I am already packing for the field trip, not because I’m excited, but because if I want to continue my research I must pack accordingly. I sort through tomes of old stories covered in dust and new crisp documents alike, shiny trinkets placed in small bags. I mull over what to take, there is a packing limit, Jean is already worried and I don’t want her to be more concerned.

After mostly packing my bags I begin to write more notes.

 

-How did the archons die if they did exist? Would they not be powerful enough to dodge any dangerous occurrence that humans managed to? Did any live or just trinkets passed down through the years as the only memories.

Are there more immortal beings forgotten to time? -Look into a larger library, the mondstat one is only second to those in sumeru-

An alarm goes off on my phone and I realize that today's council meeting.

Shit

I dash out of the room attempting to make it in time, papers flying as I try to close the door while running.

***
DMs Venti --> Xiao

Xiao <3: help
Xiao <3: my vision is gone

Venti <3: Its ok calm down im coming to get you

Xiao <3: im on the roof

Venti <3: ill be there in a second

***

DMs Venti --> Zhongli

 

Wind boy: we have a problem
Wind boy: a big fucking problem

Rock man: what happened??
Rock man: is everyone ok???

Wind boy: xiaos vision is gone
Wind boy: Im calming him down because hes having flashbacks but this could spell disaster,,

Rock man: ok stay with him and ganyu and I will look, if needs be we can always pull out a few more, flashy, shall we say, tricks

Wind boy: i really hope it doesnt come to that but anything that will help him

Rock man: i agree, i assume no one is being told?

Wind boy: no,, not unless its absolutely necessary

***

Harbinger gc:

Signora: [gays.png]
Signora: dotorre childe and scaramouche are at it again,,
Signora: THEYRE CUDDLING WHILE WATCHING A CARTOON

Scaramouche: I will end you

Signora: try me hat boy
Signora: what are you going to do?? Sit on your boyfriend's shoulders to hit me?? Bite my ankles???
Signora: good fucking luck

Dotorre: you really woke up and chose violence
Dotorre: as you should honestly, childe and scaramouche deserve the bullying

Childe: why am I friends with you guys again???

***

The buses are packed, which makes sense honestly, the whole school is going on a week long trip, yet I still find myself sitting alone. My friends are all with their significant others and no one else will sit with me.

My personality is odd, I know, and being the owner of a famous funeral business doesn't help either. People avoid those who deal with death as though it will prolong their life, and for those who don't treat mortality as a taboo it is even worse.

I understand the reasoning behind my less-than-popular status but it still stings when its pointed out like this. The bus leaves in five minutes and just as I begin to pull out my headphones I hear a polite voice ask to sit next to me.

“Hm? Oh- OH, yes of course,”I jump. “If you don’t mind the ghost stories, that is.”

“Well that seems like a deal I’m willing to take,” she laughs. She sits next to me, and I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as her, she's both elegant and poised while also feeling approachable and warm.

After a beat she starts to talk again, “my name is Ganyu, what about you?”

“Hu Tao, official owner of the wangsheng funeral parlour.”

We talk the whole trip.

***

Fuck fuck fuck

I’m going to be late.

Albedo will kill me if I don’t get on that bus before it leaves, this normally wouldn't be a problem but he agreed to help with my research on sweet flowers. As I dash across the campus there's a sudden large gust of wind, so powerful it almost knocks me over. If I didn’t know better I’d say it carried a sense of urgency, as though it too was late for something important.

I almost discard this reputation until I catch a glimpse of two figures on a roof and the gentle sound of a flute floats towards my ears.

 

***

They sus as hell:

Sucrose: dont know if it fits here but i just saw a massive gust of wind fly over the school, it was so strong i nearly fell over but it felt like it had emotion
Sucrose: its hard to explain but as it flew past it felt urgent,, and suddenly i did too
Sucrose: anyways afterwards i heard some flute music and saw some people on the roof

Jean: its odd but i feel like i know what you mean? Almost as if the wind can speak to you sometimes? It may just be an anemo vision thing

Albedo: interesting

Notes:

CONGRATS ON MAKING IT THROUGH THIS MESS OF A CHAPTER,,

i have not proof read this but i would literally rather die do idk if you see a mistake point it out, or dont idrc/lh

if you have any ideas let me know because i have literally never planned anything in my life so you may have an influence you never know

thanks for reading as always!!!

Notes:

If you saw mistakes,, no you didn’t (jk if you see something comment and I’ll maybe do something)

There is no lore or cannon here,,, I do whatever I want so if inconsistencies happen don’t ask ok? Ok.

Thanks for reading! (Idk why u did but thanks anyways!)