Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-You dream of walls that hold us imprisoned-

“I don’t want to die.”

Eren jolts awake, a layer of sweat coating his skin, his breath coming through in short pants. It’s the same dream he’s had over and over again, for as long as he can remember.

He is standing somewhere, a location he doesn’t quite know, with a feeling in his chest. It’s a mix of anguish and pain and love and fear. And she is at the center of it. 

She always is. She’s beautiful. Eren has long since accepted that the line between these dreams and memories is blurred, but regardless, he savors each moment he’s given with her. 

And the moments don’t always come in dreams. 

Sometimes he’ll be walking down the street and a memory will appear before him, the trigger unknown, but it’s enough to make him second guess everything about his life - who he really is. 

He’s come up with his own theories in his nineteen years of life on earth. Eren’s not spiritual, he doesn’t believe in fate, or luck, or any of that bullshit that people spew on the street about soulmates. 

However, he does believe in past lives, or rather that he, at least, had one. It’s secret, personal, something Eren keeps to himself. It could have been yesterday, or it could have been 2000 years ago, Eren doesn’t know, and he doesn’t try to make sense of it anymore. 

The memories are always changing, and a significant amount of them are never pleasant. 

Oftentimes, he’s surrounded by screams and blood, war and silence, an ocean and a wall that holds him in prison. He feels agony, stress, terror all the time, a burden weighing heavy on his shoulders that he can never seem to lift. 

And yet, in the eye of the hurricane, there is peace. Sometimes, Eren will dream of a hill with flowers, of birds in the sky, of a mother with caramel eyes smiling down at him as she pins laundry to a clothes line. He’ll dream of a girl with a red scarf, leaning over him as he wakes up, his hand over hers as they turn the pages of some book, blushing at him while they bask in sunlight in the desert on a wagon, or offering him ice cream on a boat.

She is the only beautiful constant in the turmoil of his life - and he’d dream of her forever if he could. 

The name she bears is as beautiful as the rest of her, of what he dreams about, of what he only wants to dream about. 

Mikasa. 

Eren knows enough about his past life to understand that even if he were given a thousand lives, the only one he’d want to live would be the one with her in it. 

And yet, he never dares to say her name out loud because she’s his - a fragment of that life that lives with him now in a special pocket of his memories that he’s constructed just for her. 

He’s seen enough in dreams to know that he hurt her, hurt others, doing whatever he had to do. Eren never got to see the end. He doesn’t know if he was ever right, so in this life, the next one he was given, he still has a hundred regrets. 

The biggest regret of all is never telling Mikasa he loved her. Each day Eren waits, praying that a new memory will surface so he can prove himself wrong , and yet it never comes, and he’s forced to live with the ache in his chest from a dishonest heart. 

Eren looks at the clock on his nightstand. 

2:53

He runs a hand through his hair, opting to keep it long although it gets in the way sometimes. 

“Shouldn't you be worrying more about your hair and less about me?”

The memory is like a slap in the face. Idiot. The truth was that Eren couldn’t care less about her hair. She was perfect no matter what she chose. 

Eren knows he won’t be able to go back to sleep, so he gets out of bed, tugging on a pair of black sweatpants. 

He doesn’t bother to turn on the lights. In the darkness, he finds a gray hoodie and tugs it on over his chest. 

He grabs his phone and wallet off his nightstand and exits his room. 

His apartment is boring; small and functional. He’s never been one for extravagance. All he needed was an empty space he could fill with things that belonged to him, including memories of a girl he’s never met in this lifetime, but loves with all his heart. 

He slips on shoes and unlocks his door. He steps out into the hallway, descends the stairs - because the elevator makes him feel lonely - and reaches the quiet city street. 

-You're tired of movin', your body's achin', We could vacay, there's places to go-

Somewhere in the same city, in a dimly lit room, Mikasa takes a breath as she ties her short hair back in a small ponytail. 

See you later...Eren

She had woken up with a hole in her heart. It was the same flashing memory she received for the first time about a month ago, and it seemed to haunt her nights all the time. 

Eren. 

To anyone, the nineteen-year-old woman may seem crazy, but she had stopped caring about how her situation seemed a long time ago. It’s not like Mikasa was vocal about her belief in her past life, but she knew she’d never be able to achieve true peace because of it. 

It followed her everywhere. He followed her everywhere. A constant reminder of the invisible knife in her chest. 

It’s funny how much you can miss someone when you’ve never even held them in your arms. 

At least, in this lifetime. 

Mikasa chases away the dreams and memories with adrenaline. It’s nearly 3 a.m., so she decides to go running. Maybe she’ll get tea or coffee at one of those 24-hour places a couple blocks away. 

She never knows how her nights are going to go. It’s been like this since forever, she thinks. It’s always been him in the back of her mind, plaguing her thoughts, her actions. Eren , with the wide green eyes and soft brown hair. With warm skin and an infectious smile, for the few times he actually did, in a lifetime so many years ago. 

Gods, she misses him. 

Mikasa assumes he's gone. It was a choice she had made herself, to save humanity or whatever it was that she was forced to do. In the end, she was left on the hill where she had loved him as child, with his head beneath the ground and the remains of his heart in her hands. 

Stupid hill. Stupid flowers, stupid-fucking-bird-

Mikasa is hurting. She doubts the pain would ever stop. 

So, she tugs her shoes on and steps out the door. 

-You left when I forgot to speak-

The wind blows through the skyscrapers and corner stores, sifting through Eren’s bun, through the layers of his clothes until his bones are chilled. 

“Shitty wind,” he mutters. He’s never been a fan of the cold, and it hits differently somehow, when it’s a little after three in the morning. It also might be because he chose to get an iced coffee, but Eren has decided that he is not a “hot drink” kind of man in this lifetime. 

There are some people milling about, however, and they don’t seem to mind the biting chill of the night. Down the block, he sees a couple dancing to some Sinatra song that’s playing from the speaker of a lounge. 

He tries not to feel bitter, so he stops thinking about Mikasa, and how she might feel in his arms if they were dancing together. 

Eren looks down, instead choosing to examine the cracks in the sidewalk. He sees a penny on the ground, in between cigarette stubs and random shit. Litter always pisses him off. Maybe his obsession with it is because of a certain someone he knew long ago, a captain of sorts if he remembers correctly, dead-set on cleanliness through out all of Eren's moments in that previous life. He taught him well. Eren scowls. The litter was never like this back-

“ Oof.”

He’s taken out of his reverie by the sudden warmth of a body running into him. He’s forced to tumble back, but he catches himself on his back foot, stepping into the curb, as his arms inadvertently brace the person who ran into him. 

“ Shit. I’m so sorry,” he hears them mutter, and all the sudden it’s as though cold water has been dumped on him because he knows that voice like he knows the back of his hand. Suddenly, he doesn’t want to pull away from the stranger, because what if he’s wrong? 

What if it isn’t her? 

Before he can say anything, they push themselves off of him, and he wants to scream, because Mikasa is right fucking there , and judging by the look in her eyes she recognizes him. He watches her face as it flushes, as her eyes widen, as her perfect mouth drops open. 

“Eren?” She asks, after a minute of staring, and his stomach drops because, fuck, it’s Mikasa. 

Mikasa.

He wants to get on his knees before her and cry. To beg her for forgiveness, for love, for anything. 

I just want to be with her. 

Yet, he knows he can't. 

What if she hates him? For what he’s done? For never loving her properly? For-

He’s made up his mind. If there’s anything Eren likes more than Mikasa, it’s self depreciation and he just can’t . He fucking can’t ruin her a second time. 

After all he’s done, he’s decided that he’s the last person deserving of her attention, so he swallows the urge to pull her back into him and to never let her go. Instead, he rubs his neck and furrows his brows, wearing the face of a liar. 

“Yeah? Do I know you?”

He wants to cry as her face falls. 

Liar. 

Liar. 

Liar. 

Chapter Text

Fuck. 

You idiot. 

The second the words fly out of his mouth, Eren finds himself wishing he could take them back. He would have done it differently; he would have held her, he would have sang , the first thing he should have said is I love you.

It was long overdue, and now Eren had fucked up. He stands helpless in front of her on the sidewalk, wondering where the fuck she came from and how he got so lucky and how he threw it all away so quick -

He really thought he could do it. He really thought he could stay away from her, because maybe that way she could be happy. 

Eren is a dumbass. 

But here she is, in front of him, the first gift the universe had given him in this life. He knows by now not to ask why or how. He doesn’t understand it, and doesn’t want to. He just wants her.  

Eren knows he can’t pretend, but how does he tell her? 

Eren panics. He’s good at doing that. 

-Stick by me, close by me-

“Oh,” Mikasa says, trying to cover up the hurt in her voice. 

She wants to cry. It’s Eren. There’s no way it’s not him - those are his eyes. It’s his voice, his name. It’s a pretty fucking weird coincidence, a sick and twisted joke the universe is trying to play on her. 

Maybe it isn’t a joke, maybe he just doesn’t fucking know her. Her heart is breaking into tiny little pieces and they’re falling out of her and there’s absolutely nothing she can do to stop it-

He’s quiet. 

“Sorry,” she says for the second time. “I just swore I knew you from someplace. My bad, maybe we met? Sometime? I’ll go-”

She rambles a lot lately. 

“No, no,” the man says, Eren says, and he reaches out. She watches in surprise as he suddenly pulls his arm back, as though he realized he was reaching for her and chose not to. 

Why? Why don’t you know me like I know you?

“Don’t apologize.” His voice sounds pained . Mikasa wonders why.

“Maybe we did?” He continues. “I’m not the best at remembering.” 

“Clearly we’ve met,” Eren laughs and she can tell he’s forcing it, for some reason. It makes the whole thing hurt more. 

“I feel like I'd remember you though. I’m sorry.” He rubs his neck again. 

And there it is again, a small beacon of hope. What’s he doing?

He’s taller here, taller than in her dreams. It makes her knees feel weaker than they already are. She knows it’s Eren, it has to be. 

But of course, if it didn’t go right for her in her past life, then why was she foolish enough to think the universe would truly grant her a perfect second chance?

No, Mikasa wasn’t that lucky. 

What the fuck is happening? 

“What’s your name?” He asks, his voice taking her back to when she was a kid again, in a different time, a different place. She thinks of flowers, trees, birds, running down cobblestone. She thinks of a cabin, and a mother and father who loved her. 

She thinks of a boy she met one night, a boy who killed for her, a boy who told her it would be okay. A boy she wanted to make a home with. 

“Mikasa,” she responds, her voice a lot quieter. 

She doesn’t know that the man in front of her already knows her name. 

She watches as he says it once, to himself. The way he says Mikasa , as if it’s something he’s rolled off his tongue for years, makes her want to collapse . 

It's so painful. It’s awful. It’s comforting. It’s what she wanted in the end, right? 

The end. 

To have him standing in front of her, warm and familiar and everything she wants is the cruelest torture. 

She decides right there that nothing could be worse than Eren not remembering her, so she can’t find it within herself to care if he’s freaked out when she tells him that, “I feel like I know you.” 

She’s caught by surprise as his cheeks flush - and suddenly she’s 17 years-old in a desert, her bones screaming at her to rest, while she stares at Eren. He meets her eyes here, in this past life, and she feels love because he’s blushing . 

She’ll never know if it was because of her. 

Eren looks down. “That’s funny,” he mutters. He looks back up to her, and she feels like she’s sinking, his gaze melting the ground beneath her-

“Because I feel like I know you too,” he finishes. 

Her stomach flips. They stare at each other on the sidewalk. Mikasa doesn’t know what to do, so she does what she wants. 

To be with him. 

“I know you've got your coffee there,” she says, pointing to the drink he's holding in one hand. “But I was gonna grab some tea at a place I know. You could join me?”

He smiles down at her. Mikasa thinks she sees a hundred realities in his amicable green eyes

-We're both so familiar-

The place they end up going too happens to be closed. It’s weird, she knows from personal experiences that they’re normally open at this hour. 

Mikasa can’t help but think it’s another sign from the universe. 

Who are you? To ever be so lucky, in this life or the last? 

Instead, she and Eren end up walking down countless blocks, talking about almost anything. Being with him is so easy. It’s natural. It isn’t weird - because they talk like they’ve known each other their whole lives. 

At least Mikasa has. 

It’s strange how similar he is to the Eren in her dreams and memories. 

Too strange. 

So maybe, just maybe it is him. 

Being with Eren again, in this life, in this place, is all she wants. She feels like she’s floating. She even feels happy. They never got this before. It’s all she wants. 

Mikasa learns that he’s nineteen years old, getting by with odd jobs here and there. He tells her he likes staying busy because like her, his head gets loud when life is quiet. 

“What’s the weirdest job you’ve had?” She asks him as they near a park.

They’re so close , she realizes. Shoulder-to-shoulder, and neither of them seem to want to separate. 

A flame within her burns. 

“Hm,” she hears him mumble. “The people in my building are kind of weird. The dude who lives below me is always asking me to come fix something, and then he just stares at me, you know?”

“Oh god,” Mikasa groans, turning into his shoulder. He’s warm all over. He doesn’t seem to mind. 

He laughs, and she wants to hear the sound forever. 

-Watch the clouds float, white Ferrari-

Her head is against his shoulder. 

Eren remembers a time when she used to be taller than him. 

He loved her then too. 

He chuckles as they keep walking. He doesn’t care what time it is. 

How do I tell her? 

“One time my neighbor commissioned me to make a painting for the opening of her friend’s gallery downtown,” He finds himself saying. 

She picks her head up off his shoulder, and he tries not to wince at the loss of her contact. He knows he wasn’t very artistic in his past life, and she picks up on this new piece of him. His heart swells because she’s so interested in everything about him. 

He used to feel pride when she’d look at him the way she is now. 

Now he feels love. 

Mikasa doesn’t know it, but she’s the only reason he picked up on painting and drawing in this life. He didn’t want to forget a single one of his dreams. He didn’t ever want to forget her . 

So, he sketched it all out on paper. 

Those drawings are somewhere in his apartment. He hopes he can show her one day. 

“But,” he continues, “She ended up hating it. Too dark, or whatever, so it ended up being really awkward.” 

Eren looks straight ahead. He’s afraid he ruined the moment. 

But then Mikasa laughs, and he’s falling all over again. 

“I’m sure it was really good.” 

He looks back at her, incredulously, and she’s smiling. 

Eren can’t fucking help it. 

They've been talking for a couple hours already, part of him worries it’s too forward, but he does it anyway. He grabs her hand. 

Mikasa turns to look at him, the blush he’s come to love sprinkled across her cheeks. She smiles at him, again , and this time she doesn’t hesitate to intertwine her fingers with his. She is his salvation. 

Eren thinks there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. And yet, there’s a poison in his mind, telling him that she’s too good. 

You’ll only break her, so how do you tell her? 

-Kept my mouth closed-

The chemistry was there. Mikasa wasn’t dumb. From the subtle touches to the not-so-subtle touches, it was there, practically bouncing off the walls. The way he stares at her, as if he sees every part of her. 

She wants to be close to him, she always has. 

But this feeling is new . 

After walking around until the sun rose, Eren invited her back to his place. To do what, she doesn’t exactly know, but she doesn't care.

His apartment is homey and simple, but there are parts to it that scream his name. She loves it, although she doesn’t tell him, in case she’ll never see him again. It's silly, but part of her doesn't want to get attached. 

His couch is big, and there's a soft-looking footrest, and a pile of blankets in the corner. She can tell he spends a lot of time here. She imagines it then, the two of them curled on the couch as time ticks by, but none of it matters because they're together again, like before. 

It's all she wants. 

She can't believe this is real . 

He turns on the TV, and some movie is playing. The clock on the microwave in his kitchen, across from his small living room, reads 6:30 a.m. 

He’s sitting next to her now, their thighs almost touching. Almost . 

Everything is so domestic. 

Mikasa drowns out the sound coming from the TV, instead staring at his face. She always did think he was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. His bun is loose, wisps of brown hair framing his face. 

In her memories, she never got to see him like this. Relaxed and carefree, not afraid to indulge, and they never got to be this old together. No, never this old. 

Mikasa .

I’ve always hated you. 

She shifts on the couch. She wants to bang her head on the wall. Why that one? Why that memory?

Eren turns to meet her gaze. “Hey,” he calls softly. It’s almost as he can see inside her head. Does he know? Does he have any idea? 

He stares at her hands in her lap, and she doesn’t stop him as he reaches and picks her left hand up, holding it in his. He stares at her palm, as if he’s contemplating something. “You hungry at all?”

A thin rope snaps in her brain. 

“If you are.” 

He smiles at her, and it’s blinding . He’s still touching her. “How do you feel about pancakes?” 

“Love 'em. You?”

His smile gets bigger. Mikasa wishes she could take a photo. 

“Good answer, Mikasa.” 

They make a mess of his kitchen, and Mikasa doesn’t think she’s ever been this happy in all the years she’s been living in this life. There’s batter on her forehead from where he wiped his thumb . 

In return, there’s batter in his hair. 

They eat on the couch, and Eren almost has a breakdown because he spills syrup on her joggers. She laughs hard at how distraught he is, and can’t calm down until he starts pouting at the wall. 

She puts her hand on his shoulder, and tries telling him it’s fine, because really, it is, but she can’t get the words out because his expression makes her laugh even more. Then, they focus on the movie. She doesn't know the name of it. 

She never wants this to stop. 

Sometimes Mikasa wonders if she made him up or not, and that these past hours with Eren have been another dream. 

How cruel it would be if she were to wake up. 

She pinches herself, biting back a wince as she realizes it's real, but it just hurts. 

Eren drags his eyes off the screen, and catches her stare. 

She doesn’t know if he feels it, the electricity in the air. She still hasn’t shaken off they they held hands before, and she doesn’t know if he has either. 

She realizes that Eren is still watching her. She squeezes her hands, anxiety coursing through her system. He always did manage to fluster her, now and before. 

“Mikasa,” He says, quietly. 

She raises her brows, and shifts ever so slightly closer to him, meeting his eyes. 

“I don’t want to watch the movie anymore.” 

He mutters it so quietly that she almost doesn’t hear him. 

She’s confused. “Oh, that’s okay.” 

She suddenly feels like an idiot - unwanted. Here she is on his couch, thinking of how welcome his hands had felt on her body, how she wanted to feel his skin, his warmth-

“I’ll get out of your hair, I know it’s late,” She says, hurriedly, moving to stand up. Stupid. Stupid-

Mikasa doesn’t get very far however, because Eren grabs her wrist tightly, his fingers burning into the bare skin of her arm. She gasps at the abrupt contact. 

Wordlessly, he pulls her back down into him so she’s straddling his lap, in one swift motion.

Fuck.

Fuck. 

What?

Mikasa is frozen. Her fingertips, her stomach, her legs - they’re all on fire and yet she can’t seem to move, can’t seem to think.

Fuck. 

Fuck. 

In all of her dreams, she’d never made it to this- 

“I can’t keep walking around, acting like I don't want you all the time. It’s been too fucking long. I’ve wasted too much time,” He says. His voice has dropped an octave , and she tries not to shake.   

If Mikasa weren’t panicking about straddling him, she would’ve picked up on the second part of his sentence, but all she can focus on is the way he feels beneath her. He is solid, warm, everything she remembered he felt like and more. 

He was fire . He always had been. 

She shifts her hips slightly, and his green eyes darken. He tilts his head up, his mouth hanging open halfway. It’s a sight she wants to remember forever. 

Mikasa moves her hands to his shoulders. “I-”

“Mikasa,” He breathes. “Can I...Can I kiss you?”

She swears she sees stars now. Never in her life did she imagine this , no matter how much she wanted it on those lonely nights, she's never pictured this . 

She and Eren never got that peace, the peace that came with mingled breaths and stolen kisses, shared sweat and endless passion. 

Never.

Until now. 

“Please,” is all she says

He meets her halfway.

Chapter Text

Eren’s bedroom is dark, and the only sound in the room comes from the slap of skin and sultry groans, as he continues to fuck her again and again and again. A drop of sweat rolls down his throat, and Mikasa leans forward, bringing her lips to his neck. 

He groans again, and kisses along her jaw, fucking her slower. It's almost leisurely, and she knows he's proving a point. He said it earlier as he kissed her on the couch. 

“I would do this forever if I could.” 

Mikasa knows Eren. He’s a man of his word. 

She throws a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a groan against her knuckles. Each time Eren plunges back in, he hits a spot that only he knows, only he has ever touched. 

It's pure fire. It's addicting. It's ecstasy. 

Eren’s forehead comes down to rest against hers, and he notices the movement. 

“Uh-uh,” He mutters, pulling out slightly. Mikasa whimpers. 

“Let me hear you.”

He places a hand above her head, supporting his weight on that arm as he takes his other hand and grabs her wrist. He tears it off her mouth and pins it above her head. 

Christ, she forgot how tall he is. 

“That’s it,” He breathes, as her lips brush against his collar bones. In a blur, he stops pounding into her and pulls out all the way. 

She can’t help but whine, again, reaching for his shoulders, but he sits back. 

“Shh,” he says. Instead, he places a palm under her back, the other hand on her waist and flips her onto her stomach in one swift motion. 

“Shit,” Mikasa mutters. She’s never seen Eren like this, never felt him like this. 

She loves it.

Soon, he’s back on her, nudging her thighs apart with a knee. She lies flat on the bed, but lifts her ass up, desperate for friction - for him. 

Slowly, Eren eases back into her with a haughty groan. He takes his time, filling her up. 

It’s the best kind of torture. Mikasa groans into the pillow and feels his hand close around the back of her neck, shoving her into the fabric. 

It smells like sweat and rain and jasmine. It smells like him. 

She feels the coil deep within her tighten, and she knows she won’t last much longer at the pace they're going. “Eren,” she moans, voice muffled in the sheets. 

“Eren.”

Suddenly, his hand reaches into her hair and he yanks her up forcefully, out of the pillows and up against his chest as he continues to fuck into her. 

She cries out at the feeling of the new angle, of how hard he’s going. 

“Fuck,” she breathes. 

“Yeah?” he says, and although she can’t see him, she just knows he’s smirking. 

“So close,” she manages to say, although it’s somewhat broken up. 

“Mm,” he mutters. 

Eren’s hands wander. One palm finds its way to the front of her neck, the other gripping the sheets as he continues to hold her

He brings his face down to her neck, kissing the shell of her ear. “Fuck, you have - shit - no idea how good you feel around me,” he moans. 

Mikasa can’t help but let out another whimper, obscenely. 

“Taking me so well.” 

Suddenly, Eren lets go of his hold on her neck. He pulls out a final time and she falls back into the bed, but he’s on her again in an instant. 

He flips her back onto her back, and fills the space between her legs once more, staring into her glossy eyes as she takes him in, inch by inch. 

-But we're so okay here, we're doing fine, primal and naked-

She’s breathing in his ear now. He can tell she’s trying to stay quiet and it’s a real shame - the sounds he’s pulling out of her go straight to his core. 

She arches her back, and Eren’s lost in how perfect she looks, writhing underneath him as his hips slam home, over and over again. Her body’s a perfect canvas. He wants to ruin her. She’s soft and supple, a cushion for his rugged edges. 

From her closed eyes to her swollen lips, to the purple marks on her neck and the red blotches from his mouth across her naked breasts, she’s utterly breathtaking. 

“Eren,” she whispers. Her hands reach up, grabbing his face and pulling him down to her. He’d never get tired of kissing her. 

It’s sloppy and heated, and the passion is there. He bites her lower lip, swallowing a groan as he touches that one spot deep inside her. 

She feels it too, as she tightens around him and whines into the kiss. 

“Eren”, she whispers, her hands cupping his face. 

He wants to stay here, like this. Forever trapped in her heat. Alone. 

With Mikasa. 

She’s so warm. She’s all he’s ever wanted. She’s home. 

The way she feels around him is unlike anything he’s ever known. She owns him now - every part of his soul belongs to her. 

“Fuck,” he breathes as his hips slam into her again. His sheets smell like sweat and jasmine, he’s never been more alert in his life. 

He doesn’t know how he could live without this and now, he’s too far gone. 

She cries out, louder this time, as she finds her release. Her chest rises and falls as she lets out quiet whimpers, her cunt tightening around him as she does so. 

“So good Eren,” she whispers, kissing his throat as he buries his face in her neck. “So good.” 

It’s her praise that sends him over the edge. 

“Baby, baby, baby,” He groans as his hips stutter, the built up tension finally releasing.

“Fuck - Mikasa.”

Her name. He loves her name.

Eren has half a mind to pull out, his spend coating her stomach as she tilts her face up, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss. 

His heart beats in time with hers. Two that are one.

-Can't take what's been given-

He holds her against him in the shower, and she marvels at how muscled his frame is. She watches, over his shoulder, as rivulets of water run down his back, the marks on his skin from her fingernails still burning red. 

Mikasa’s body feels weak, spent . She honestly doesn’t think either of them meant to take things this far. They had started on his couch, kissing innocently enough. She could feel the building up of something inside of her, and when she rolled her hips across his lap just right , she could practically chase the feeling. 

They kept up that way until she felt him through his sweatpants, and her kisses turned hungry. Eren took everything she gave, pushing back with the same intensity until her shirt was off and her breasts were in his mouth, her moans bouncing off of the walls of his living room at 7 a.m. in the morning.  

“Mikasa, ” he had told her. “ You have no idea…”

Oh, but she did . She kept up at it, grinding against him. He lifted his head from her chest and he searched her eyes. 

“Can I touch you, Mikasa?” 

She nodded, her movements getting faster as his hands tightened around her hips. 

“I need to hear it.” 

She moaned. “ Yes - Eren - touch me.” 

It was all he needed. 

Soon enough, she was on her back on the couch, with his fingers inside her, his mouth hovering over the inside of her thigh. He stared at her and stared at her and stared at her, his fingers curling in the best way, touching a spot inside her that made her vision blur at the edges. 

Suddenly, the ribbon broke and she was crying his name, melting in front of him. Eren was there to catch her as she fell, pulling her on top of him, his mouth chasing hers. And just as quickly as it went out, the flame was back, the feel of his body against hers made her so damn needy .

“Once wasn’t enough, was it ?” He asked her, his lips on her neck. “ You want my cock now, yeah?”

Mikasa had moaned then, all her thoughts incoherent. 

She’d never imagined this, never pictured Eren taking her like this. 

She was hooked. 

And now , all Mikasa can feel is pure bliss and euphoria. She wants to stay amid the billowing steam with him forever. 

She shuts her eyes as his arms tighten around her, and she realizes he’s content on doing the same. She thinks back to moments ago, when he’d gotten up from the bed and walked into his bathroom, turning on the shower. 

She thought that was her cue to leave, and she would have cried, if it weren't for the fact that he came right back out and scooped her up, ignoring the mess on the flesh on her stomach, and brought her into the bathroom with him. 

He kissed her again, nudging her under the spray. Only then did she understand. He wanted her just the same. 

And now, she stands, leaning against him only minutes later, listening to his heartbeat. It's a sound she wants to memorize. 

She pulls him out of the body of something - a titan? He’s unconscious but he's warm and alive. Mikasa cries. 

Eren’s voice drags her out of her memories. “You should stay the night,” he mumbles, his soapy hands rubbing circles into the skin on her hips. 

Mikasa laughs into his shoulder, taking a deep breath. “It’s still morning.” 

A beat of silence. 

“I know.” 

She smiles, and she knows he is too. 

“Okay. I’ll stay.” 

His arms get tighter. 

After all, it’s all she wants. 

-Mind on the road, your dilated eyes-

He still doesn’t know how to tell her. He wanted to do it in the shower, hell , he wanted to do it before he fucked her, but here he is. 

It is mid-afternoon, they have only technically known each other for less than 24-hours, if he ignores the fact that he was hopelessly in love with her in a past life - and still is, and they are lounging on his bed. 

His arms are wrapped tightly around her waist because he doesn't ever want to let her go, his head resting on her stomach. He’s only in gray sweatpants, while Mikasa lies in her panties and one of his t-shirts, the material so big on her that it practically covers all of her thighs. Her hands card through his hair softly, and he realizes he could die like this. 

His gut twists. He remembers what happened a lifetime before this.

He props his head up, upon the muscles of her belly, searching her face. The sunlight from the window shines across her body, illuminating her milky skin, her eyes, everything . 

Eren is so in love. He needs to tell her. 

He doesn't know how. The last thing he wants to do is upset her. Would she resent him?

But why would she, after they connected this way? Why would she still be here with him, still want him, if she hated him for the way things panned out in a past life?

But now, she’s playing with his hair and it feels nice. He wants to fall asleep, just once, with her , just so he can see her there beside him when he wakes. 

Mikasa...why is it that you concern yourself with me? 

He’s fairly aware of Mikasa next to him. They’re drunk, all of them, but even in his state, he feels her lying next to him, her hand on his shoulder. 

His eyes start to droop. “Mikasa,” he mutters, and her eyes meet his. 

“Mmm,” she says, her hands still in his hair. 

“Can we sleep?”

Finally? After all of this time away from you, can we sleep now, in the same bed, and not have to worry about a threat looming overhead? That’s all I want. 

She smiles. “Of course.” 

He picks his head up off of her chest and crawls forward. He plops down next to her, pulling her body into him with his arms. She snuggles into him with no hesitations, intertwining her legs with his. 

Within minutes, Eren falls asleep. He doesn’t have a nightmare this time. All he sees are flowers on a hill, and a tree in the center. 

-And we're free to roam-

It’s dark out by the time Mikasa wakes, the clock on his nightstand reads 8:30. Her throat is dry, too dry, but it’s not a big deal because Eren is wrapped around her like she’s his personal teddy bear. 

He drools in his sleep. It’s something she must have forgotten. 

Mikasa has to crawl out of his vice-like grip in order to slip out of bed and head to the kitchen for some water. 

She blushes as she enters the living space and sees her bra discarded in the corner of his room, next to the TV. 

She pads towards his refrigerator, quietly, so as not to wake Eren. 

Eren. Wake up. 

It’ll get dark if we don’t go home now. 

See you later, Eren. 

The memories hit her like a train, sudden and uncalled for, and she stumbles into his counter, banging her hip on an open drawer. It’s full of old papers and takeout menus, and suddenly, food sounds really good. 

She ignores the pain on her side, and focuses her attention on the drawers contents, picking up a stack, looking through the different menus. 

Suddenly, a piece of paper falls out, and lands on the floor slowly, like a feather. 

She reaches down to pick it up, flipping it over. 

Mikasa freezes. 

It’s a drawing. 

Her eyes fill with tears in a matter of seconds , and before she can think to wipe them, they dot the paper. She sets the sheet on the counter, and tries to remember how to breathe. 

It’s a sketch, really, and he must have used colored pencils. 

Eren drew a hill. A hill that Mikasa has seen a thousand times. He drew a tree on the hill, and a girl underneath the tree. Her hair is in a short ponytail, and she’s wrapped in a scarf - the same exact scarf Mikasa wore every single day in a past life. 

Thank you, for wrapping this scarf around me. 

I’ll wrap you up in it again and again, forever. 

There are flowers in Eren’s drawing, and there’s a bird flying above her, and a wall in the distance. But what hurts the most is the writing scrawled at the bottom of the page, in a font that she knows so well. 

In another life. 

My most beloved. 

My dear. 

854.

Mikasa falls to the ground. 

She doesn't bother keeping quiet as her body racks with sobs. 

He remembers.

Chapter Text

Eren comes to, suddenly, blinking the sleep from his eyes. The space next to him where Mikasa was is empty, and his heart drops. 

Was it all a dream? 

If everything that happened between them wasn’t real, Eren doesn’t think he can muster the strength to go on. 

A nightmare. The worst fucking nightmare-

He hears a sound from the kitchen. 

A sob. 

A heaving sob that sounds too much like heartbreak . 

Eren jumps from the bed and practically runs out of his room. 

“Mikasa.” 

Mikasa. 

He doesn’t see her at first, because she’s on his floor, her legs tucked under her, next to the counter. 

When his eyes land on her, all he sees is pain . 

Fuck. 

Why do you always end up hurting her?

“Mikasa,” he says, moving towards her, his arms outstretched. “What happened?” 

He gets closer, but freezes as soon as he sees the paper on the counter. 

His heart drops.

Fuck. 

It’s a drawing of a dream he had, and a memory of hers. 

From a past life they lived together. A past life he hid from her. 

She looks up at him, her eyes red. 

“Eren Jaeger ,” she whispers. “Your name is Eren Jaeger .” 

Eren Jaeger. The Usurper. 

He doesn’t know what to do, so he nods, carefully. They never talked about it; this. As far as Mikasa knows, or rather knew , he was just an ordinary man. 

Not her lover from a past life . 

She sniffles. Eren never wants to see her cry again. 

“Say my name, Eren.” 

She’s staring at him, and for the first time he cannot read her eyes. She knows. 

Mikasa knows. Now he wants to cry. 

“Mikasa,” He whispers. He’s afraid that if he says it any louder, she’ll disappear. She’ll leave him. She’ll walk out the door and never come back, and just like before , he’ll never get to be with her. 

She blinks. “Say my full name, Eren.” 

He steps toward hers again, but she holds up a shaky hand. 

He makes a sound in his throat.

“Mikasa...Ackerman. Your name is Mikasa Ackerman.”

The name he always woke up saying. 

Mikasa. Mikasa. Mikasa. 

Another tear rolls down her cheek. 

“You knew that. You knew my last name already. How, Eren?”

He’s silent. 

Fuck-

“How, Eren?”

She is the judge and he is the confessor. 

“Because,” Eren starts, “for the last nineteen years, I’ve had dreams of you, Mikasa. Of our life-” He chokes out. 

“I-I was an idiot, who thought he was crazy, and when I saw you I panicked, because I thought I dreamed you up-”

She interrupts his stammering with a hiccup.

“Do you have any idea how stupid I felt? How lost I felt? Here I figured you just thought I was some clingy hookup. I felt stupid for feeling this way when all we did was fuck, Eren. When I saw you on the sidewalk I finally felt like I wasn’t crazy. ”

He looks down. 

“And then you lied ? You know what? It didn’t even matter that you didn’t remember. You were just there all of the sudden, and I felt peace. For the first time, ever since - ever since…”

Her voice trails off. 

He knows she’s talking about his death. 

Mikasa’s tears remind him of another time. He wasn’t good enough for her then, why would he be now? 

“But...You-you remember?” She asks, and her face has grown impossibly white. 

It’s really more of a statement, because the answer is clear, right in front of her, on on the fucking piece of paper and reflecting Eren’s eyes. 

“I remember all of it.” 

She watches, her eyes blurring from the salty tears that she just cannot hold back, as Eren’s mouth opens and closes. It’s like he can’t find the words-

“All this time?” Her voice cracks. It has only been a day, and yet it feels like it’s been forever. 

He nods. If he speaks, he might not be able to hold back. 

“Did you mean this?” Mikasa waves her hands in the air, and he assumes she’s talking about the time they’ve spent as “supposed” strangers, in the shelter of his apartment. 

“Of course I did, Mikasa.” His voice is quiet, somber. 

She bites her lip. “So, you did all of this - knowing who I was, who we were. You fucked me on your bed, we slept together, and you knew our history.” 

He thinks back to the way she felt in his arms. He’d die to feel her like that for the rest of his life. “Yes.” 

“And now, Eren?”

“What?” 

“What does this mean ?”

Now, Eren’s impatient. “What the fuck does that mean, Mikasa. You want me to tell you to go? You already know everything. I thought you’d hate me, I-”

“Hate you? God, you’re just as dumb now as you were before. I can't believe this. Why would I stay here, with you, if I hated you?” 

He says nothing. He starts to realize how much of an idiot he was. “I was going to tell you, Mikasa. I wanted to the minute I saw you, I just...panicked. I didn’t think you’d know it was me.”

“How could I not recognize you? I've spent my entire life loving you, missing you, wanting to be with you. I know your voice, I know your eyes, I know your soul, Eren. How could I not…”

She loves him. 

Mikasa starts to stand, her legs shaky, her mind moving a mile a minute. Her ears are ringing and her blood is burning and her hands are trembling because it’s really him. 

It’s him, it’s him, it’s him. 

Eren Jaeger, her soulmate - the man whose heart she’d never thought she could possess because life has taught her that love is a curse. 

And yet, here he is. In this perfect world where there are no titans, where there is no war, where there is no rumbling. 

There’s no one here from her past life to drag her down or for her to hold onto like a poisoned lifeline, reminding her of constant pain and heartache. 

No one. 

Just the two of them. 

It’s more than she can bear. 

Mikasa falls back to the floor, her palms pressed against her eyes as if she can will the tears away, as if she can block out the reality she doesn’t know if she can face. 

But she can’t, because this time, Eren sinks to the ground with her. He whispers her name, again and again, as his arms loop around her. He pulls her against him, rocking her slightly, trying to stop her crying. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he says. 

Slowly, she pulls her head back, looking up at him. 

His hands hold her face now. She doesn’t know whether to kiss him, the way she’s always wanted to, the way she did just hours ago, the way she did in another life, or to run away, because of all that's happened between them. 

She swallows. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Mikasa stares into green eyes, haunted by time and desperation, and she thinks she may understand. 

He’s still touching her, in a daze, as though he’s convinced something terrible is going to happen in this perfect reality and take her from him-

“I don’t deserve you,” He murmurs. His cheeks are wet. “It’s that simple. The things I’ve done-”

Mikasa wants to scream -

“I can’t get past them. But I just can’t stay away, Mikasa.”

She gasps. Her fingers curl into his shoulders, she marvels at how soft his skin is. 

I don’t deserve you.

God, what a lie that is.

Slowly, she brings her forehead to rest against his. “Eren,” She whispers. Her cheeks are still wet. He shakes against her. 

“In this life, I have spent each day waiting for you, the only thing keeping me going were flashes of you from that past reality. You don’t-”

Eren chokes on air. His eyes squeeze shut as he trembles around her. 

“You don’t understand,” Mikasa continues. “I need you, and you’re here now, right in front of me, for whatever reason. I've lost - we've lost so much. I can’t let you go,” She cries. 

“I’m not the same person I was 2000 years ago, or whenever it was.”

Her voice still shakes.

“I spent too long, keeping to myself, keeping my feelings to myself. I’m not going to live like that now - or ever again. I can’t. Not after I lived like this, for nineteen years, starved from the only thing to keep me going. And I-I don’t remember everything. I don’t want to remember everything-”

She feels Eren suck in a breath. 

“I just want you.”

All I want is just to be by his side. 

“Please.”

Her eyes are closed now, the pain of this life and the one all those years ago, flowing between them as though there is an open wound somewhere. 

Maybe there is. 

One of Eren’s arms is wrapped around her waist, the other in her hair. His skin is warm, she realizes. It always has been. 

Mikasa opens her eyes. Eren is looking at her, and her heart soars because it’s the way she knows she’s always wanted him to look at her. 

Like she’s everything.

She wants to cry. She wants to yell, she wants to get up and dance. 

“You have to know by now,” He begins, after moments of silence. His hand moves from her hair to her face, his thumb stroking her cheek with the gentlest of touches. 

“How much I…” 

Mikasa is sure she has never felt this light.

“How much I love you,” Eren finishes.

She remembers then. It’s a flash, sudden and bright, in the back of her mind. 

Mikasa...What am I to you?

The memory is fleeting, and she’s too caught up in the feel of Eren’s skin to chase after it. She doesn’t know where they were or why it was said, but within her she knows that if he were to ask her again, her answer would be different. 

“I never said it then,” Eren mumbles against her, their foreheads still touching. “But I do. I always have. I could never stop.”

He reaches for one of her hands, and brings it off of his shoulder, intertwining their fingers. He kisses the top of her palm. 

“I know now,” She breathes. “Even if I didn’t know then, I know now. There’s nothing here keeping us apart, Eren.”

She takes a hand and brushes strands of brown hair from his face, tossed around by the wind. “We’re free. And I love you.” 

“Say it again,” He whispers. “Please.”

She leans up, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Mikasa catches his tears with her hand.

“I love you.”

The boy who sought freedom has it now - it’s right there in front of him. Eren pulls back slightly, looking down at the only one he needs. 

His hand moves to Mikasa’s chin, and she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever known, in any life and any reality. Eren pulls her in, kissing her the way he wants to, in both this life and the last one. 

-I didn't care to state the plain-

“Your hair has gotten longer, hasn’t it?” Eren notices. 

Mikasa gives him a look. She moves onto her side, facing him. He said that to her, once before. He knows it, too.

He smiles. “Too soon?” 

She rolls her eyes. Eren’s been in a playful mood, ever since the kitchen incident, two days ago. He’s been “testing her memory,” and his attitude takes her back to when they were nine and the little shit would get into fights. 

The kitchen incident. 

After he confessed, they stayed on his floor, talking. 

“ Even if I hadn’t remembered ,“ He said, “ could you honestly believe that you were just a hookup?” 

Mikasa dropped her head. “ I don’t know, Eren. It all seemed too good to be true, anyway. I figured it wouldn’t last.”

He shook his head. “ You’re missing the point. Even if I had no recollection of you in a past life, you would have been it for me, Mikasa. In any reality, you’re it for me.” 

Mikasa was silent. 

“ I don’t remember this,” she had said after a few minutes of simply holding each other. “ We never talked like this. Just the two of us. We’re a lot more talkative in this life.”

Eren looked down. “ I’m sorry.” 

“No, Eren. We’ve just had more time to just...live.” She was silent for a minute. “ I’d go through it all again, just to eat pancakes with you.” 

Then, she started to laugh. Eren resolved, right then and there, to try and coax that sound out of her every day for the rest of their lives. 

Mikasa never seemed to laugh a lot in their past life. 

“ I love you.” 

He carried her back to the bedroom after, and told her that “ food could wait .”

That shut her up. 

And now , he was like a clingy pet; he couldn’t give her a moment's peace. He followed her everywhere. 

Some part of him always had to be touching her as well, and perhaps it was his way of proving to himself that yes, this is real.

“Or, I could buy you a red scarf!”

“ Eren.”

He winces. “Sorry. That was funnier in my head.”

He grabs her hand, pulling her towards him. Mikasa groans. 

“Eren, I love you, but you kinda wore me out, I don’t think I can go another-”

He winces as he finishes adjusting her so she’s lying on him. “That wasn’t my intention. You’re just comfy.” 

She smiles. 

“Besides, I’m not that insatiable.” 

Mikasa looks up from where her head rests on his chest. 

“You’re nineteen years old, and have too much stamina,” she mutters, “and, to quote your own words , we’re ‘making up for lost time.’ Sometimes-”

Eren clamps a hand over her mouth. “Okay, okay , I get it, woman. Not everyone can handle-”

Mikasa moves and kneels on the bed, trying to get off him. “I think it's time for me to go.” 

Eren’s face drops, immediately, his teasing forgotten. He grabs her waist before she can get away. 

“What? Why? I’ll shut up, I just like seeing you blush-”

“I’ve been here for three whole days. I need a change of clothes, I need to water my plant...I got shit to do, Eren. I have my own apartment, you know.” 

He scowls. “Then I’ll come with you.”

She pats his shoulder, plopping down in his lap. 

“Then you’ll be living with me for another three days cause you won’t want to leave. It’ll be an endless cycle.”

Eren is silent, though his hands toy with the hem of her shirt. 

“Besides, I have work tomorrow, and you’ve got your odd jobs to go and do.”

He looks up at her. “Work? Where the fuck do you work?” 

She sighs. “If I tell you, you’re gonna show up there.”

“And?”

She laughs, her head falling onto his shoulder. She can’t see, but Eren thinks he might be smiling harder than he ever has in his life. 

“I work at a flower shop.”

Eren draws circles into her back. 

“Really? A flower shop?”

“Yup. Then I teach women’s self-defense on weekends.”

She picks her head up off of his shoulder, looking at his reaction. 

“Good. You were always the strongest person I knew.” His arms get even tighter around her.

Mikasa punches him lightly, then snuggles back down into him, her face tucked between his neck and collarbone. “Someday we’ll talk about it, Eren. About all of it.”

She feels him nod. 

“But right now,” she continues, “I just want to be with you.” 

He unwraps one of his arms from around her, and lifts her face with his free hand. He leans down and plants a kiss on her lips, softly. He will never get over how right her lips feel against his. 

He should’ve done this a lot sooner. 

It doesn't matter. They have a whole life together now. 

When he pulls away, she’s blushing again, and Eren makes up his mind. 

“Move in with me, Mikasa.”

“Okay.” 

As it was written on his gravestone, it became. 

Another life. 

This was it. 

Eren kisses her again, because in this life, he can.

-I care for you still and I will forever-

Chapter Text

Eren groans into his pillow, because Mikasa’s side of the bed is cold. It has been, for the past week.

Eren doesn’t like to think he’s the clingy type, but the two of them had never spent more than a day apart since the night they met, four whole years ago.

4 years ago. At least it wasn't 2,000.

The separation was heavily affecting him. He would call her name sometimes, into the empty apartment they now shared together, because he often forgot she was gone.

He’d sometimes wake up with her name on his lips, memories floating around in his mind of some lifetime while he sleeps. They’re not always pleasant, and they both know it.

He turns his head flops onto his back, staring at the ceiling of the bedroom they now share.

His dream wasn’t nice. It leaves him upset, scared, and feeling broken, his gut twisting and his head pounding.

He had dreamt of a table–of Mikasa sitting across from him, tears pooling in those eyes. He dreamt he told her that he hated her, even if it was the furthest thing from the truth.

A slave, with no mind of her own, he had said.

Where, where did everything go so wrong in that lifetime? He doesn’t know if he’ll ever understand. Because of it, he’s been working extra hard to not screw this up, this beautiful gift, a second chance.

He tries not to cry, the absence of her weighing him down, and then felt like the world’s biggest baby. He’s 23 now, he’s grown. Then again, their situation isn’t typical. Not everyone can say they were separated from their lover in a past life for almost two decades.

Besides, it wasn't her fault. Her boss at the flower shop she currently works at had assigned her to fly across the country to help his buddie’s store get back on its feet. Basically, a week straight of yard work. And yet, to his dismay, she loves it.

He loves it too, the flowers she brings back, the flowers he gets to place in her hair.

The service was spotty wherever she was, and she was only able to call him twice in the past week, and she had to cut them short after 10 minutes. She’d texted him pictures though, of plants, quizzing him on their names and such. He didn’t give a damn about what they were, as long as it was real. That the gods it is.

Eren feels like he’s bouncing off the walls.

Ha. Walls.

He’ll survive, he knows deep down. He always did, but that didn’t mean he didn't want to lie on the floor like a human puddle until she got home.

Whatever.

She was coming home in two days, and they couldn’t go by fast enough.

He tugs on a hoodie, discarded on the floor from the night before, and pads out of their room and into their kitchen. The walls of their apartment aren’t bare, either. His drawings are now framed on their walls, pictures of them hanging in between.

Life is beautiful now.

He shuffles to the fridge, his eyes still adjusting to the sunlight of the morning, when there’s a knock at the front door, down the tiny hallway from the kitchen in their unit.

He scowls. It’s definitely his neighbor.

“Hiya, Eren. I, uh, broke my sink again? Would you mind taking a look? You’re in way better shape than I am,” He’d probably say.

“Shut the fuck up, perv,” he wishes to respond.

Of course, Eren was always slightly more polite than that. Slightly.

He shuts the fridge door, but freezes, because the front door opens, with a small creak.

“The fuck,” he mutters. He looks around the kitchen, wondering what he’ll have to use against whatever person has decided to intrude upon his home–their home.

And who the hell has a key besides him and Mikasa?

Mikasa.

“Eren,” someone calls.

Mikasa.

Mikasa?

He sprints, full on, like a bat out of hell, through the kitchen and down their hallway.

And shit, she’s standing right there, a smile on her face and a suitcase in her hand. She’s there. She’s home, and her eyes are as bright as they’ve ever been. He takes in her form, and it’s like he’s falling in love all over again. It’s like their children once more.

“Hey, ba-”

“Mikasa.”

He runs at her, and she shrieks as he picks her up, laughing in that voice that never fails to make him beam. He’s grinning like an idiot, spinning her around in their entryway. Who said honeymoon phases end? Because Eren cannot wait to tell them that they’re dead wrong.

“Eren, my bag,” she chokes out, still giggling he almost trips over it.

“I dont give a fuck about your bag.”

He takes a long inhale, breathing into her neck like she’s his only source of oxygen. He missed her.

In a matter of seconds, he shifts, holding her bridal style, and walks to their couch, plopping down. She’s sideways on his lap, and when she tries to move to the side, he clicks his tongue.

“Uh-uh, no way.” He locks his arms around her so she’s practically glued to him. “You’re not going anywhere.”

She’s laughing now, hard, and Eren’s mouth hurts from smiling.

She quiets down, gazing up at him. She leans back in his arms, and brushes her hand against the side of his face. “Hey,” she says softly.

He just sighs, and leans his forehead against hers. She is home, and now, so is he.

“Eren? What’s wrong?,” she murmurs, tucking the flyaway hairs behind his ears. She loops her arms around his neck, pulling even closer.

“Nothing,” he says, and he truly means it. “You’re home. I thought I was gonna lose my goddamn mind.” He watches her smile at his confession.

“Me too,” she says quietly. “I don’t like being away from you. I never did, and I never do know.”

He kisses her forehead, his fingers twirling her dark hair. She’s grown it out the past few years, and it’s long, longer than ever. It smells like jasmine, like her.

“What are you doing home so early?”

“We finished up sooner than I expected,” she replies, smiling harder.

“Thank god,” he mutters into her hair. “Thank god.”

***

After Mikasa’s surprise arrival, she dragged Eren back to their bedroom. He had protested at first, claiming that no, he wasn’t sleepy, and that he’d just woken up.

I’m not sleepy either, she had said, casting him a certain look.

Oh, he’d replied.

Oh yes.

Now, they lay intertwined in the sheets, and she laid atop him, at his request.

“I don’t want to suffocate you,” she says.

Eren rolls his eyes. “You won't. Even if you, that’s probably like the greatest death I could ever imagine.”

She scoffs, flicking his shoulder.

“It’s Saturday," she continues. “We should do something.”

He hums. “Whatever my lady wants.”

Mikasa is silent for a second.

“I want a cat.”

Eren stills, his fingers halting their movements, from where he was tracing circles into the skin of her back. “You want a what?”

“A cat!” she chirps. “There were a ton at the farm store I was helping out at. It made me realize that, one, they're cute, and two, I want one.”

“Huh,” he says. “A cat?”

She peers up at him through her lashes. “I think you’d like one too. You’d be good with it.”

“Knowing me, the cat we get stuck with is gonna be some feral, untamed crack-ass feline.”

Mikasa scowls. “You really have a way with words.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not saying no! I mean it when I say I’ll do anything for you, whatever you ask. If you want a cat, I’ll go adopt, buy, rescue, whatever-the-fuck, every goddamn cat in the world,” He declares.

Mikasa bursts out laughing, and he grins at her. She can tell, even though he’s kidding, that he would do anything for her, and doing so makes him proud.

“I love you,” she says.

He smiles. “I love you too. Let’s go get one.”

***

After getting dressed, which takes longer than Mikasa wanted because a certain someone was feeling extra hands-on, the two of them head down the stairs of their apartment complex, and out into the bustling street.

The benefit of living in a big city is that there is an abundance of cat sanctuaries, shelter, rescues and what not.

They had settled on one that happened to be on the other side of the city, a couple subway stops away. This one in particular, a cute, quaint cat rescue, happened to have a little orange cat, a kitten, that Eren demanded they get.

Mikasa had laughed, because it was technically her idea, but he was stubborn. Besides, the little guy was perfect.

Hand-in-hand, they make their way down to the subway, boarding when the next train arrives. Mikasa rests her head on his shoulder, while Eren outlines flowers on her thigh absentmindedly.

Life really is beautiful.

After roughly 20 minutes, they exit at their stop, surfacing at the street above, in a quieter, cute part of the city. The buildings are older here, more historic, and Mikasa marvels at the flowers lining the sidewalk.

They walk a block ahead, until they reach the little shelter. In big, bold, fancy letters on the front window read the words, “Cadet’s Cat Rescue.”

Eren and Mikasa exchange a look, and he moves to hold open the door for her. A bell jingles overhead.

As soon as they walk in, they’re hit with a chorus of meows, and there truly are rescued cats everywhere.

“Damn,” Eren says under his breath.

The place isn’t small, but neither is it large. A couple other people stand off to the side, playing with a cat on its little tower.

More people roam near the back wall, browsing the cat toys and supplies.

Suddenly, what sounds like a teacup hitting the ground, draws Mikasa and Eren out of their reverie.

They drag their eyes to the source of the sound, to the little front desk of the store. There, a broken teacup rests, shattered on the floor, its contents spilling.

“Shit,” they hear a voice breathe.

They follow the voice. Instantly, Eren staggers back, the blood draining from his face. Mikasa, next to him, pales, and her mouth parts in complete and utter shock.

Standing behind the front desk is a man–short, with dark hair, and gray eyes–eyes that look so much like Mikasa’s. The man stares at them too, like a rug has been swept out from beneath him, like the earth has been thrown, tilted off its axis.

There’s no way.

There’s no way.

“Levi?” Eren and Mikasa say in unison, their voices shaky, full of confusion.

The man's eyes widened even more.

They know him, and he knows them. They can't ever forget.

Standing before them, the owner of a cat rescue, in this life, this reality, is none other than Levi Ackerman.

He just stares, his expression unreadable. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” He says.