Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Keeper."

The small revenant turned to Judas, face inscrutable as ever.

"Yyyes?" the thing hissed, no trace of malice, unlike it's 'brothers'.

"You've taken my coins."

The Keeper looked down at the small pile of change it had collected. "Oh... Did I?"

"Keeper, I need those back." Annoyance crept on Judas.

"Oh, but they're so nice and shiny..."

"Keeper."

"They're shiny nice coins, and you don't need them that bad do you?" It looked up, seemingly hopeful despite the lack of expression on it's face.

"It's the principle of the matter, Keeper." Never give something for nothing. Not to Him. Not to anyone.

"Please, please, please?"

Judas snatched the coins from the pile. A whimpering hiss came from the walking corpse, as it began to turn hostile. It didn't matter. The thing was easier to outrun than Magdalene. There's no chance it'll catch him.

Judas wonders when the Basement started to become such a graveyard before taking the plunge again.

-

The basement was simple as ever, but that rarely means easy. Judas can scrape through without a hit. He's learned from past mistakes. Many past mistakes.

Monstro lay dead before him, nothing more than a husk. Satan's gate stood. Might as well check the selection.

Two familiar faces were in the Devil Room. Azazel seems to be taking Satan's place as the dealer for the moment. The other was...

"Hey hey, Betrayer! Blue Baby was just picking something out! Might have to move fast! That Whore of Babylon is an enticing pick after all."

"I'm just browsing."

Azazel raises his hands, as if placating a beast. "Hey, no worries. Always happy for the company!"

Azazel was friendly, but Judas knew where his loyalties stood. The demon was ever scheming, and his pleasantries held no weight with Judas. For now, their motives align. For now.

Judas glanced toward his fellow patron. ???, or as most referred to it 'Blue Baby', was gazing vacantly at the options. The corpse picked up the Whore of Babylon and Azazel gave a winning smile.

"So, Betrayer, what sort of run are you on today."

"Lamb."

"Ah, I see, I see. You know, if you think about it, you're the first of us to ever do a Lamb run!" Azazel cackles at his own joke. Judas feels his blood boil.

He leaves, the door disappearing behind him. Nothing of value was there anyway.

??? stands beside him, ever stoic, and taps Judas's shoulder. The cold makes him flinch.

The zombie holds up The Poop.

"...Er...?"

It points at the Book of Belial.

"You want... to trade."

The thing nods rigidly.

Judas gives the thing a flat look. "There is no universe that exists where I would trade this for The Poop."

It shrugs and leaps down to the Caves.

Judas shudders.

-

Judas encounters the last of Isaac's strange half-dead dopplegangers in the Depths. The Forgotten had just finished a horde of flies in the room Judas entered.

The skeleton looks up, acknowledging Judas. Judas gives the same courtesy, despite himself. The Soul pops out, leaving the husk as dead as it should be.

"Hey," the Soul says.

Judas doesn't respond, just glaring. The Soul seems unimpressed.

"When it comes to glares, Eve and Samson do it better. If you have an issue, then spill it."

"I don't have an issue."

"Oh you don't, huh? That's why you're just so cool with me. And Keeper. And Blue Baby."

Judas grips the Book of Belial. The Soul was closing the gap between them, the chain on him getting tighter as they got closer to Judas.

"I'm not exactly the most friendly of all of us. What makes you special."

"You keep trying to ignore us. You don't like acknowledging us. It's because we're not quite human anymore, isn't it?"

Judas scoffs. "You really think that, don't you? I don't have time for the simple-minded right now."

Judas makes for the door, but the skeleton grabs his shoulder. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold.

"I am the Forgotten. But you can't forget everything, can you, Betrayer?"

-

Mom comes and goes, as does the Womb. Sheol is the next stop. The grey lifelessness of Satan's grounds are an odd comfort. The old goat's been a useful asset to Judas. Every deal he makes, Judas gets a little more knowledge, a little more power, a little more.

The universe truly seems to has it out for Judas today, as out steps from a room a bloody and beaten Lazarus. The redhead looks up at Judas, seeming to be comforted.

"Oh, Judas! E-er that room over is terrible. Doesn't lead anywhere important, though. Feel free t-to ignore it."

"Hm. Good to know."

"Oh and that room has a bed! Uh, y'know, in case you need a rest."

Judas does, but Lazarus doesn't need to know that.

"Uh, good luck! On, uh, everything."

Judas decides he's acknowledged Lazarus enough and heads into the bedroom. It's comforting, despite himself. Judas yawns, slumps onto the bed and tries not to think about how little he gets this opportunity.

-

Judas is here again.

He's dead.

Up on the cross.

It's his His fault.

Judas's hand was forced.

Of course.

The blood never fails to make him nauseous.

They bury him.

They hold a funeral

Judas isn't invited. Rightfully so.

It's okay.

Judas holds his own funeral.

The body isn't there.

Judas turns around.

He stands before him.

Alive.

No, not alive

How?

He was dead.

Does that mean I can be forgiven?

"I understand."

Why? How can you understand?

It'd be easier if he was angry.

"It was God's will."

Stop Stop Stop Stop Stop

Now why would you have an issue with those who come back from the dead, Betrayer?

-

The Lamb stands before him, as it has before.

If there's one good thing about this twisted spawn of Isaac's psyche, it's that it lets Judas get a little bit of catharsis.