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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Kaylor
Stats:
Published:
2021-04-27
Updated:
2021-07-20
Words:
784
Chapters:
19/71
Kudos:
65
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
1,336

All Things Kaylor|Jokes/Larks

Summary:

Really short jokes, all things Kaylor.

Appearances from: Cara Delevingne, Gigi Hadid, Martha Hunt, Abigail Anderson, Selena Gomez, Jourdan Dunn, J*sh Kushner, Joe Alwyn, Mama Andrea Swift, Lily Aldrigde, etc.

Chapter Text

Josh, trying to flirt with Karlie: If our life was a fairytale, you'd be the princess.

Taylor: Well that must make me the fairy godmother because you can bippity boppity the fuck away from my girlfriend.

Karlie, muttering under her breath: And Taylor is my princess. No one else gets to be princess 😡

Josh: I literally—

Chapter Text

Cara: Taylor will NEVER agree to this plan.

Karlie: Sure she will.

Martha: She's already refused us three times!

Karlie: Watch and learn. *raises voice* Taylor?

Taylor, rushing into the room: Karlie? What is it? What's wrong?

Karlie, with puppy dog eyes: Will you-

Taylor: YES.

Chapter Text

Karlie, looking out across the city in her office: I've been expecting you, Taylor.

Taylor, from behind her: What? How did you know it was me?

Karlie, turning to view Taylor with a blush on her face: To be perfectly honest, I already said it to three random people. 🙃

Chapter Text

Taylor, strumming her guitar at 2am: AND I MISS SCREAMING AND FIGHTING AND KISSING IN THE RAIN—

Karlie, turning on the lights tiredly: Babe, you know not all your problems can be solved by writing songs?

Taylor, excitedly: Yep! That's why I write albums! 😊

Karlie: That's not the point, princess. Can you come back to bed now? I'm cold without you.

Taylor: OH MY GOD! THAT'S PERFECT! *strumming her guitar* And you reach out across the sheets for a girl who isn't there...

Chapter Text

Karlie: What's you favorite horror movie?

Cara: It.

Martha: Annabelle.

Selena: Saw.

Taylor: High school musical. After watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics. 😭

Chapter Text

Karlie, making a vlog for YouTube: Tay is such a sweetheart, watch this.

Karlie, texting Taylor: :(

30 seconds later

Taylor, bursting into the room with a blanket and pretzels: Hey, babe, what's wrong? *sees camera* 😑

Karlie: 😇

 

Chapter Text

Taylor: Do you ever feel like someone's watching you?

Karlie, tossing her hair over her shoulder: Of course. When you look this good, you get used to it. 😜

Taylor: I--

Chapter Text

Cara, decorating a cake: Do you like it??

Karlie: That looks so damn goo-

Taylor: Atrocious.

Karlie, nodding fervently: Atrocious.

Cara: ReALlY, Karlie???

Chapter Text

2015, Tribeca Penthouse

Taylor: I would do anything for you.

Taylor: You want the moon? The stars? The sun? I will get them for you.

Karlie: I want you to have 3 meals a day and a regular sleeping schedule.

Taylor: *walks out*

Chapter Text

2020, Beverly Hills

Taylor: I like the strong but silent type.

Karlie: *silently trying to lift a table*

 

Chapter Text

2021, Nashville Meeting Room

Taylor: ...and if anyone wants to change my lyrics, suggestions go here.

*silence around the room*

Andrea: Honey, that's a trash can.

Taylor: Sure is 🙃

Chapter Text

2016, Tribeca

Karlie: What are you doing?

Taylor, standing on top of a chair: You know, I live here. I can stand wherever the hell I want, thank you very much.

Karlie:

Taylor:

Karlie, sighing: Where's the spider?

Taylor: Under the table.

Karlie: *kills and disposes of said spider*

Taylor: *wraps Karlie in a tight hug* You're my hero.

Karlie, smiling softly: Anything for my princess.

Chapter Text

2020, Tribeca, 3am

Karlie: You know, maybe dogs lick us because they can sense the bones under our skin.

Taylor, contemplating: This has to be the worst thing you've said.

Chapter Text

2015, Tribeca

Taylor: *talking excitedly about her tour*

Karlie: Please, stop talking.

Taylor, seductively: Make me.

Karlie, getting some duct tape: Alright...

Taylor: WAIT NO STOP!!

Chapter Text

2016, Nashville

Taylor: I'm the snake queen.

Karlie: No, you're a drama queen.

Chapter Text

2019, Tribeca - Taylor and Karlie are babysitting Dixie for Lily

Taylor, walking into the room: Karlie!! Why would you give her a knife?!?

Karlie, shrugging: She felt unsafe.

Taylor:

Karlie:

Taylor: Now, I feel unsafe.

Karlie:

Taylor:

Karlie:...do you want a knife?

Chapter Text

Beverly Hills, 2016

Taylor, browsing the internet: Everyone hates me, Kar. I didn't even do anything and they hate me for being me. They hate me because I'm successful. Is it wrong to just want a normal life when I 'm fortunate enough to have all of this?

Karlie: No one hates you, Tay. They hate the picture that Kanye and Kim painted of you. 

Taylor: Can I-- *hiccup* -have a hug?

Karlie: *hugs Taylor*

 

45 Minutes Later

Taylor: ...you know, you can let go now.

Karlie, determined to show Taylor how much she's loved: No I absolutely cannot.

Chapter Text

Nashville, 2017

Karlie, trying to comfort Dixie: What is your fucking problem??

Taylor: Try singing to her, babe. She loves it.

Karlie: What iiiisssss yooouuurrr fuuuckkkking problem?

 

Chapter Text

Beverly Hills, 2020

Taylor: Do you ever worry you'll regret things in the future?

Karlie: Nope. I regret every decision immediately.

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