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Chapter Text

The noise from the impromptu celebration in Seventh Heaven finally quieted well past midnight. There was definitely cause for rejoicing: the reincarnation of Sephiroth defeated, the Geostigma healed, the planet once more saved from imminent threat.

Cid had stumbled, very drunk, back to his ship, waving off Tifa's invitation to sleep on the floor of the bar--"I've got blankets, Cid!"--muttering something slurred about Shera and home. Red XIII had followed, saying that for Shera's sake, he would make sure Cid didn't try to fly home in his inebriated state.

Yuffie was passed out, but had managed to do it after cornering Vincent against the wall in one of the booths. Her head was propped on the table and her body drooped sideways; the only way Vincent would be leaving was if he moved Yuffie or climbed over her. Cloud wouldn't have been at all surprised if Vincent simply pushed Yuffie onto the floor before too long; Yuffie would sleep through it. At the moment, he simply sat quietly, nursing the only drink he'd had all night.

Cloud had carried Denzel to bed after he fell asleep on one of the benches, and Barret had gone to tuck Marlene into bed. Judging from the rumbling snores that were coming from upstairs, he had passed out there, too.

Cloud stepped outside the bar and gazed up at the sky, breathing in the warm night air. For the first time in longer than he could recall, he felt like he could really breathe. Without pain, without guilt, without the burdens he had been carrying around for so long.

And he had no idea what to do with himself. Hours earlier he had been dying and now--

The door opened and Tifa peered outside. "Cloud?"

"Yeah."

She had already spotted him. She didn't say anything, but the smile she gave him when she stepped up beside him spoke volumes. It was a genuine Tifa smile, not the one that she sometimes forced on her face just to make everyone else happy.

Before he could move, she grasped his hand quickly and squeezed it once before releasing it, and he knew, without her voicing it, that it was a welcome home gesture. And a question. Despite the soft smile, he could see the question in her eyes.

So he answered it, even though she hadn't asked. Because he needed to. Because he wanted to. "It's good to be home."

Her eyes lightened, yet there was still a fear there. He couldn't help but recognize it, because he was still afraid too. He had so many holes he had to fill, holes that he had left by running away. But there was something else in Tifa's eyes, something that had always been there for him: hope. He felt that he didn't deserve to see it there; he had dragged her to the edge of despair with him in so many ways. But her hope for him, her faith in him, her unrelenting refusal to give up on him…it was still there, still lending strength to him after everything.

The door opened again, and Cloud and Tifa both looked to see Denzel poking his head outside. Marlene stepped past him, holding her favorite stuffed rabbit and rubbing her eyes with her free hand. "Tifa, can I sleep in your bed? Papa's snoring on our bedroom floor and we can't sleep."

Tifa laughed. "Yes, go ahead. Denzel--"

"I can sleep on the floor," he said quickly. "I know where the extra blankets are."

Both children disappeared back inside, and Tifa let out a long, slow sigh. A breath of release. Maybe she had been struggling to breathe under the weight of the burdens he had left her with, too. She had always been better at letting go of her burdens, but then, she was always the one shouldering other people's loads, too.

Slowly, he reached for her hand and returned her earlier gesture by squeezing it briefly before letting go. She shot him a quick look of surprise, but then a peaceful expression settled on her face.

He couldn't change the hurt he had caused her, or Denzel and Marlene, by leaving. But maybe, given time, he could make up for it. He wasn't sure how, but that was okay. Right now, all that mattered was that he was home.

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Chapter One - Snow Days

"It's snowing!"

Marlene's exclamation brought Denzel racing to the window, and Tifa looked up from washing the dishes, her face lighting up. She wiped her hands on a towel and hurried over to the window, peering over the kids' heads.

A small smile crossed Cloud's face, and he shook his head slightly, turning his attention back to his delivery slips spread out on the bar's counter. The only thing snow meant for him was the potential for ice on the roads in the morning.

"I hope it stays on the ground so we can play in it tomorrow!" Marlene said.

"Maybe we'll get to stay home from school!" Denzel chimed in.

Cloud glanced back over at Denzel just in time to see him throw a hopeful look at Tifa. "School's only two blocks away," Tifa said, taking one last look out the window before returning to her dishwashing. "I don't think we'll get so much snow that you can't walk two blocks."

Denzel sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

"And speaking of school--" Tifa began.

"Bedtime," both children chorused resignedly. Still, they peeled themselves away from the window and raced up the stairs to get ready for bed.

Tifa washed and rinsed her last dish and leaned on the counter, studying his delivery slips. "Do you have a lot for tomorrow?"

Cloud shook his head. "Just a few morning deliveries. The next day will be pretty full." Then, realizing she might have reasons for asking him this other than just finding out his schedule, he asked, "Did you need something tomorrow?"

"Nope," Tifa smiled warmly. "I won't be here in the morning, either; I have some shopping to do." She started walking around the counter, adding, "Oh, and Yuffie's coming to dinner tomorrow."

Cloud's forehead pinched into a frown. "She's not cooking, is she?"

"No," Tifa said emphatically.

Well, that was something, at least. Last time Yuffie had insisted on coming to the bar and cooking, the disaster she created hadn't been nearly as bad as the stomachaches that had come afterward.

Marlene pounded down the stairs. "Tifa, I can't find Mouse!"

"I've got him. He somehow made an escape from your room and ended up getting pretty dirty down here." Tifa disappeared around the corner and Cloud heard the particular squeak of the laundry room door opening. She returned a moment later with a tattered stuffed rabbit and handed it to Marlene, who hugged it tightly.

"Thank you, Tifa." Marlene skipped over to Cloud, flinging her arms around him. "'Night, Cloud."

Cloud gave her a one-armed hug in return. "'Night." He watched Tifa follow Marlene upstairs to make sure the kids got into bed.

A moment later, Denzel yelled down the stairs, "See you tomorrow, Cloud!"

"Tomorrow, Denzel," Cloud called back. It had been Denzel's way of saying goodbye or good night for over two years now. Either 'see you tomorrow' or 'see you later.' In the beginning, Cloud knew it had been Denzel's way of reassuring himself that Cloud wouldn't disappear on them as he had done when he had Geostigma. Now, it was simply habit.

While Tifa went upstairs to make sure the kids were actually getting into bed, Cloud gathered up his organized delivery slips and maps and took them up to his office. He heard Tifa's footsteps going back down the stairs, and then wasn't at all surprised when the sound of the front door opening and closing met his ears.

He went down and saw Tifa's boots and socks sitting by the front door. He opened the door, and sure enough, Tifa was sitting on the step outside Seventh Heaven. It was cold, but not bitterly so, the snow falling softly in big flakes, settling on Tifa's hair and clothes…and her bare feet. She inclined her head toward him and reached one hand over her shoulder, inviting him to sit with her.

Cloud paused for only a moment before settling on the step behind Tifa, putting his legs on either side of hers and folding his arms around her. She leaned against him, pulling his arms closer against her and sighing contentedly. Though he couldn't see it, he could practically feel the huge smile that was undoubtedly on her face. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"…It's snow."

"Exactly." Tifa tilted her head backward so she could look at him, and now he could see her smile. Then she looked away, and after a quiet moment, said, "It reminds me of Nibelheim. The snow in the mountains…I always thought it was so pretty."

"I always just thought it was so cold," Cloud said.

"My father used to yell at me for running barefoot into the first snowfall."

One corner of Cloud's mouth tugged upward and he nudged her bare feet with his boots. "I remember."

"It always just looks so soft. I don't mind the cold." Tifa leaned against him in comfortable silence for a minute, and then said, "Still, I'd better get inside soon unless I want frostbite." Yet she didn't move, just held his arms more tightly. He knew why; he knew what her memories were bringing up. Despite the years that had passed, the subject of Nibelheim was still a painful one. They hadn't visited it in years, not since that last fateful trip after Meteor. It had brought up too many bad memories for both of them.

Tifa finally stood, shivering slightly as she lost Cloud's body heat. He got to his feet and followed her inside, locking the door behind him as Tifa pulled her socks back on.

Cloud headed upstairs with the intention of going to bed, since he had to be up early to make his deliveries. As he unlaced his boots and kicked them off, Tifa came into their room, her face still flushed from the cold. She slipped into the bed before he could, curling the blankets around her.

"Cold?" He lifted the blankets and got in next to her.

She immediately rolled into his side. "Not really," she murmured, her fingers brushing his cheek. He knew the strength of her hands, felt the calluses on them, but her touch was as light and soft as the snow falling outside. The blend of unyielding strength and gentleness she possessed was one of the many things that had always drawn him to Tifa--which still drew him to her.

He turned toward her, studying her face, seeing the contentment in her eyes. It didn't matter how long he had been together with Tifa, didn't matter that they had been married for almost a year now--when he saw the happiness in her and realized that he had done something to put it there, he sometimes still had a momentary jolt of surprise. Surprise that this was actually real, that for some reason, Tifa loved him and still wanted him.

It made it easier to get through the hard times. It wasn't as though their relationship was perfect. It never had been and never would be. But ultimately, after the fights or the fears, after the dangers of their lives or the angry, frustrated silences that came in place of fights, she was still there. And so was he.

Tifa wrapped her arms around him and touched her lips to his. He returned her kiss, slowly at first, but as her hands trailed leisurely down his body, he pulled her closer, his own fingers finding the zipper on her vest, tugging it down, and their kiss became something deeper and more intense.

He didn't always have the words to express what he felt, but this was one of those times when it didn't matter, when this was the only answer he had to give to be understood.

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Cloud's morning deliveries were uneventful. There was a very thin layer of snow on the ground, but the roads hadn't really been icy except for a patch here and there, but Fenrir was well equipped to handle any weather. He hadn't even run into any monsters on the road, and he ended up back in Edge earlier than he had anticipated.

He was just entering the city when he noticed the smoke that was pouring upward from one area--the area, he realized, where his home and family were.

It was as though a bucket of ice water had been thrown on him; he froze for half a second on Fenrir, his heart thunking loudly in his chest, and then he was racing faster down the streets, zipping around corners, dodging cars and pedestrians, unable to think anything except a single, pleading thought. Please…

By the time he was two streets away, he knew that the cold fingers of dread gripping his heart had every right to be clenching tighter. He knew precisely where every building around Seventh Heaven was, but the only other building that really mattered at this moment was the school, which was just around the corner from the bar.

Cloud abandoned his bike as soon as he reached the scene of the fire. The school, an old two-story building that had once been a business, but which the WRO had changed into a place for education, was destroyed. Much of the second floor had collapsed onto the first, leaving a huge chunk of it a pile of rubble. Flames licked the sides of the few walls that stood, crawling like insidious fingers determined to stroke every bit of life out of the place.

Life…

Cloud's eyes were not on the collapsed school; they were frantically searching through the gathered crowd, looking for familiar faces as he shoved through the people standing enough to watch the disaster. The scene before him was one of absolute chaos. WRO rescue workers and other adults were busy, checking over children huddled or lying on the ground. Some of them, Cloud saw were not even moving, but he couldn't tell whether it was because they were unconscious or dead. Several injured people were being loaded into vehicles to be whisked away to the hospital.

Cloud's eyes briefly followed a screaming girl as she was carried away from the rubble, and then turned to the other children. He saw a few he recognized, but none of them were the ones he was looking for. "Denzel!" he shouted. "Marlene!"

Where were they? Crushed inside the fallen school? Taken to the hospital? Where was Tifa? She had to have known what was happening, with Seventh Heaven being so close. Why hadn't she called him, unless something had happened that made it impossible for her to call?

As he hurried through the chaos, looking for Denzel and Marlene, he snapped open his cell phone and called Tifa. The phone rang…and rang…and kept ringing. After six rings, her voicemail kicked in. Frustrated and now worried about Tifa--she always answered her phone--he hung up and was just about to make another call when his own phone started ringing. Hoping that it was Tifa calling back, he glanced at the phone. Yuffie flashed on the screen. As soon as he flipped it open and said, "Yuffie--" he was cut off.

"Cloud! You have to get back to Edge now. There was an attack on the school; I've just been called down there so I'm on my way, but I don't know if Denzel and Marlene got out and I can't get a hold of Tifa and--"

"Yuffie, I'm at the school." And he didn't see the kids or Tifa anywhere. Maybe one of the kids had been taken to the hospital and Tifa had gone with them? Maybe there was bad reception on Tifa's phone...?

"You are? Have you seen the kids? Did you talk to Tifa?"

Cloud had just about given up on finding them outside. He knew--he knew that there was a definite chance they had been crushed inside the school, or that they were trapped, but he couldn't--

"No, I…wait, I see Marlene. I'll call you back." Cloud snapped the phone shut, running for the familiar figure lying on the cold ground and dropping down beside her. "Marlene!"

She was blinking at him in a very dazed way, and her skin was ashen. "Cloud?"

Cloud quickly looked her over. Her brown hair was streaked with dirt, her skirt was torn and filthy, but what really got his attention was the way the bottom part of her shirt was stained red.

"Cloud, I hurt." Despite the glazed look in her eyes, her voice was steady. Weak and thick, but steady. She had been in many situations that were dangerous in the past, and it had made her very levelheaded in an emergency. "And I don't know where Denzel is. I don't know if he got out. I don't remember how I got out here…I think something hit me…"

Cloud carefully lifted the edge of her shirt. She was bleeding freely from her left side.

Marlene peered down at her stomach and blinked. "Oh!" There was a heavy pause and then she said, "Cloud?"

There was such fear in her voice, mirroring Cloud's own desperation. He had to get to the hospital; he had to get help for Marlene and find out what had happened to Denzel. To find out why Tifa wasn't answering her phone. He had to find out what had happened at all, but he didn't have time to stick around and ask anyone questions. "It's going to be okay, Marlene. I'm going to get you to the hospital and if Denzel's not there, I'll come back and find him." It would be much quicker for Cloud to get her to the hospital than to try to get the WRO to take her there.

He lifted her in his arms carefully. She was trembling but silent as he carried her to Fenrir and settled her on his lap. Within seconds, they were zooming away from the scene.

What happened? What kind of attack was this? A monster? Explosion? Terrorist, random…Where is Tifa? The fear was feeding on him, and as he zoomed through the streets, he tried calling Tifa again, but again got her voicemail.

Fenrir roared to a stop just outside the hospital's main entrance. Cloud scooped Marlene back into his arms and shoved through the hospital entrance. She was limp against him, her eyes closed and her face stark white.

It was immediately apparent that it was just as chaotic in here right now as it was back at the school; there were doctors rushing around, and right behind Cloud, several more children from the school were being brought in. One of the doctors spotted Cloud carrying Marlene in and hurried over to check on her.

Cloud could see from the expression on her face that it wasn't good news, and was positive when she started snapping orders. Within moments, Marlene was being taken from him and put on a stretcher. The doctor asked quickly, "Is she yours?"

"Yes."

"She'll be in surgery. You can't come back there. The best thing you can do for us is get her registered so we know who she is--we're trying to sort out patients. Here." She handed Cloud a tag with a number on it. "That's her number. I'll let you know what's happening as soon as I can." She hurried through a door with Marlene, calling orders to the other medical staff, and closed it in Cloud's face.

The sound of the door shutting, though quiet, was as resounding as a gunshot. He had no idea if Marlene would be okay when that door opened again. He couldn't think about it (yet how could he not?); he still had to find Denzel and Tifa (but what if he couldn't?).

He couldn't even be surprised that his life had come crashing around him in an instant. It had never had trouble falling apart in the past.

It was his life, after all.

Chapter Text

Three months after Cloud had been healed from Geostigma and had moved back into Seventh Heaven, he came home very late from his deliveries to find Tifa sitting at her bar counter, a glass of untouched alcohol sitting in front of her. She didn't even look at him when he came in, which was his first clue something was wrong. There was no greeting, just thick silence that left him wondering what had happened in her day to make her shoulders so tense like that and to keep her up so late.

Silently, Cloud set a package in his arms on the edge of the counter and slid onto the stool beside Tifa, studying her profile. The seconds ticked by, and when she still didn't speak, he finally prodded, "Tifa? What's wrong?"

Still not looking at him, she tensed further and opened her mouth, but then closed it again. Cloud wasn't sure then that she would actually talk, but when she did, she caught him completely off guard. "Do you love me?"

The first time Tifa asked that question, months earlier, Cloud had been sleeping. He had begun to wake up when she spoke, and as he opened his eyes, he realized what she had asked. But seeing that he was awake, she had quickly changed it to asking if he loved Marlene. He had been saved from answering her first inquiry, and part of him had been incredibly thankful for that, because he had been such a tangled mess of emotions and frustrations that he didn't know what to do with what he felt, let alone how to explain it.

The other part of him had been angry that he was too much of a mess to give her an answer to her first question, even if she didn't know he had heard it. Why the hell did he always have to be such a coward when it came to Tifa?

Now the question was more of a pleading entreaty. He realized he was staring at her. How easy it would be to answer that. One word. That's all it would take. Yet there was still a fear in admission. What if he failed her again? What if it changed things between them so much that they broke when she realized what a mistake she had made? He didn't think he could stand that. He didn't know what he would do if he didn't have her.

His silence was too long. Tifa shook her head. "Never mind." She finally turned to face him, and she had a smile pinned on her face. A fake smile. Some people might not be able to tell the difference, but he always could. Her eyes said it all. They were desolate, but her voice was calm and light when she said, "I'm just tired--don't worry about it." She stood up and headed for the stairs.

Everything in Cloud screamed at him to get up and follow her, but he was frozen in place, his fear holding him to the seat like some kind of insidious glue.

It was too late, anyway. He was always too late. Her bedroom door closed, and only then did Cloud find motion. He grabbed his package and moved slowly up the stairs, but stopped when he heard the sound of a single sniffle from Tifa's room. It wasn't much--not a sob, not indication that she was crying her heart out, but it was a punch to his gut anyway.

He took a step into his office, wondering what he was doing. Why did he keep doing this to her? What was wrong with him? She didn't deserve this.

But she deserved better than him.

There was a very, very small part of him that was frustrated with Tifa for asking that question, though he knew he was really frustrated with himself. His life had finally, at least for now, found some semblance of normality--or what he supposed normality might be. He had come back, come home to Tifa and the kids. And he wanted to be there with them--he just didn't quite know how to move forward in some ways, namely in having the kind of relationship with Tifa that he had always wanted. Since he came back, he had been able to talk with her more freely than ever before, had been able to again have the family life they had begun to establish before he got Geostigma, before his guilt overwhelmed him.

And now she was asking him for everything he had hoped for and he couldn't bring himself to say the one word that mattered.

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Chapter Two - Waiting for the World to Start

Cloud had to go back to the school to look for Denzel, but he needed to go by Seventh Heaven first and make sure that nothing had happened there. He would have liked to say that whatever had happened at the school couldn't possibly be related to the bar, but he knew what his and Tifa's lives were like. They were high profile people, whether they liked it or not.

He also did not want to leave Marlene alone at the hospital. He had no idea what kind of surgery they were doing on her, but what if she needed him and he wasn't there? What if the doctors came out to tell him that she was dying and--

Cloud took a deep breath, his head swirling. He made the decision quickly and strode over to the front desk, where half a dozen people were busy answering phones, talking to panicked people in search of answers, and organizing papers. It seemed to take ages before there was room for him to approach a woman talking on the phone. She held up a finger at him, indicating he wait. "No, ma'am. I don't have anyone by that name here, but we're still trying to sort--yes, I understand that. We don't know for sure why it happened--yes, that's right…"

Only the knowledge that someone on the other end of the phone was just as desperate for answers as he was kept him silent.

"Ma'am, why don't you try calling back in a bit, or coming on down to the hospital? Okay? Good-bye." The woman hastily hung up and looked at him. "Yes?"

He handed her the tag with a large number twenty-seven on it. "I need to register--"

"Has the patient been here before?"

"Yes."

"Then just give me the name," the woman said.

"Marlene Wallace. Look, she's in surgery and I have to leave for a little while. Can I leave my phone number here so you can call me with any news about her?"

"What's your name and number?"

The woman froze when he gave her his name, her eyes widening. "Cloud Strife?" she echoed faintly.

Instead of answering something he'd just told her, he gave her his number. She jolted out of her surprise enough to quickly write it down. "We'll call if anything comes up, sir," she said, and her eyes followed him as he hurried out of the hospital.

Fenrir was exactly where he had left it. He got on it just as his phone rang. His heart jumped, and again he desperately hoped that it was Tifa calling him, but the name flashed Yuffie.

He flipped it open and said, "Yuffie, I'm just leaving the hospital."

"Is Marlene okay?"

"Surgery," Cloud said shortly as he revved up the engine and sped toward Seventh Heaven. "I don't know. I'm going to run by the bar and then I'll be at the school. Yuffie, do you know what happened?"

"Some kind of monster attack. We don't know yet if it was something random or if it was summoned there."

Cloud's phone beeped, and he said, "I've gotta go; someone's calling in." Without giving Yuffie a chance to answer, he switched lines. As soon as he did, Barret's voice was roaring in his ear.

"What the hell's goin' on? What's this 'bout a school in Edge being crushed? Where's--"

"Marlene's at the hospital," Cloud said shortly, pulling to a stop in front of Seventh Heaven. "I don't know where Tifa and Denzel are. Call Yuffie and talk to her; I have to go." He shut the phone on Barret's angry protests; he knew Barret was just worried, but so was Cloud, and he didn't want to deal with Barret's yelling right then.

The only thing he found that was abnormal at Seventh Heaven was the front door being unlocked. As there was nothing else out of place at all, he suspected--though he couldn't be certain--that Tifa had run out of the door in such a hurry that she hadn't locked it behind her, most likely because she heard what was going on at the school.

The school was Cloud's next stop. It was still as chaotic as it had been the first time he had been there, except the fires that had been eating the walls had been put out, and there was now a vehicle being used to move huge pieces of rubble out of the way, with several people were directing it. Yuffie was there, too, bouncing impatiently from foot to foot. She had her phone pressed to one ear, undoubtedly filling Barret in on the situation, but as Cloud jumped off of his bike and strode toward her, she hung up. Spotting him, she called, "Cloud, I was just going to call you! I think we might've found Tifa--or at least her phone."

"What?"

"I tried calling her again and a phone in there--" Yuffie pointed at the pile of rubble the vehicle was currently trying to move "--started ringing. Might've been coincidence, but every time I hang up and call back it rings again."

Cloud's breath was stuck in this throat as he stared at the rubble. There were so many large chunks of debris in that area; it was one of the many places where the second floor had collapsed into the first. Would anyone under that have survived?

Moving the debris so that it didn't just collapse on itself again was a slow process. Cloud helped move some of the smaller pipes, rocks, plaster, and other bits of the fallen building out of the way, until at last Yuffie shouted, "Cloud!"

He raced over to where she was kneeling, yanking small wreckage out of the way, and immediately saw what had caught her attention. Two slabs of ceiling had fallen in such a way that they formed a sort of very small shelter. It was amazing they hadn't fallen on top of the three people lying underneath.

Tifa…

She was lying face-down, covering two smaller bodies with her own. One of them, Cloud saw, was Denzel, the other a boy he recognized as Izzi, one of Denzel's best friends. All three of them were covered with dust and loose chunks of rubble.

Izzi was staring around with wide eyes. "Please help us!"

"We're going to get you out," Yuffie assured him.

Denzel groaned then, a very small sound. One blue eye opened and squinted dazedly. "C-Cloud?"

"Just hang on, Denz," Yuffie said. "We're gonna get you to the hospital in no time!"

"O-Okay."

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Yuffie stayed behind at the school, saying she would call Barret and fill him in on the current situation. Cloud was able to talk briefly to Denzel on the way to the hospital. Denzel was dazed but conscious, and his left arm was twisted at an awkward angle, very obviously broken. He quickly explained his version of events. "It was a monster, Cloud. A huge one, and it blew fire and crashed into the school. The ceilings were falling down and everyone was yelling and--and Izzi got stuck with me behind part of the crashed ceiling. We weren't hurt but we couldn't get out. But Tifa came. I heard her yelling for me, and she got me and Izzi unstuck, but when we were trying to get out the door part of the ceiling fell on us. That's when I hurt my arm." His words were hurried and he shivered. "It was dark and Tifa was above me and Izzi, and we were both awake but we couldn't move and we could hardly breathe. And Tifa wasn't making any noise at all, and my arm hurt, and then I think I passed out. Is she gonna be okay?"

I don't know. Tifa was so still and pale. She had a large bump on her head. Other than that, he didn't see any outward injuries on her, but he had no idea if she was injured internally.

"Wh-what happened to Marlene?" Denzel asked.

"She's hurt. I…don't know."

"But she's alive?"

"Yes." Right now.

Then they were at the hospital, and Tifa and Denzel were whisked away from him just as Marlene had been and all that was left was just waiting.

Sitting in the hospital, he felt stifled and intensely claustrophobic. It was just another reminder of how much he loathed places like this. Hospitals, laboratories--they dredged up memories he would have rather not thought about. Everything seemed so sharp and bright, and the voices of the other people near him reached his ears as a garble of concern and cries and whispers. It was entirely maddening.

He was able to get Denzel shortly. He was fine except for his arm, so once the break was set and his arm was in a sling, Cloud was allowed to sign him out. Denzel didn't speak much; he just curled up in a chair next to Cloud. His torn, dirty clothes had been exchanged for gray pants and a shirt provided by the hospital, and he looked incredibly small and forlorn as he waited with Cloud.

"They'll be okay. Won't they, Cloud?" he finally asked, and Cloud knew he was just as scared, looking for reassurance, but he couldn't bring himself to say yes. What if they weren't okay? What if he told Denzel they would be fine and then they weren't?

Instead of speaking, he just wrapped an arm around Denzel's shoulders. Denzel blinked at him and then leaned into Cloud.

Their wait was finally broken when the doctor who had taken Marlene from him came into the room. "Marlene Wallace?" She spotted Cloud before she had even finished speaking, and Cloud stood up to meet her. He looked at her anxiously, and when she gave him a small smile in return, he went weak with relief.

"She's okay?"

"She is," the doctor said. "She had a bit of metal lodged in her, but we got it out and patched her up. She's a very lucky little girl; she just missed having a punctured spleen. She's still under anesthesia, but you're welcome to go sit with her if you would like to. She's been moved to the eighth floor--room six up there."

Cloud was so relieved all he could do was nod, and Denzel tugged on his arm. "Let's go see her."

Cloud left another message with the front desk about where he would be so they could tell him as soon as they knew anything about Tifa, and then he and Denzel went to see Marlene. As soon as they reached her room, Denzel broke away from Cloud and ran to her side, sitting on the end of her bed. Cloud grabbed a chair and plunked it down, silently watching Marlene's still form, the steady rise and fall of her chest. He wondered how many children had died in the school that day. He wondered if he might have been able to do more if he had been home.

His and Denzel's vigil was interrupted by the sudden exclamation coming from the doorway. "Marlene!"

Cloud turned to see Barret barging into the room. He hovered at the end of the bed for a moment, quickly looking over Marlene, before turning to Cloud. "Damn it, you're supposed t'be keepin' her safe!"

Cloud's jaw knotted and his hands clenched into fists. Barret didn't have a monopoly on worry for Marlene. He would always be Marlene's papa, but Cloud had been helping raise her for over half her life and he loved her like a daughter. His words were sharp when he said, "I didn't exactly see you here getting her to the hospital."

Barret glared at him, but there wasn't real threat in his eyes. He wasn't angry at Cloud; he was just angry that Marlene was hurt and he hadn't been able to stop it.

And Cloud hadn't been able to stop it, either. He hadn't kept Marlene safe; he hadn't kept any of them safe.

"You can't keep anyone safe all the time, Cloud. No one can do that. I know it scares you, but you can't let yourself doubt anymore. Please." The echo of words that Tifa had once spoken to him rang through his mind and he took a deep breath. If only it was as easy as all that. It was hard for him not to ask the 'what if' questions. What if he had been there, what if the kids just hadn't gone to school that day, what if, what if…?

"How's Tifa?" Barret asked gruffly.

Cloud shook his head. "I don't know."

Barret's eyes shifted to Denzel, and he clapped his hand on his shoulder. "How's that arm?"

"It's okay," Denzel said staunchly.

It seemed another eternity before someone finally brought him news of Tifa. Cloud had two more calls from Yuffie, a call from Shera, and even one from Vincent while he was waiting.

Finally, a woman with a clipboard showed up at the door. "Mr. Strife?"

"Yeah." Cloud strode over to her, motioning Denzel to stay put.

"The doctor wants to speak with you about your wife. She's been moved down the hall here. Room seventeen."

Cloud had no idea what to make of the woman's tone. It was absolutely neutral.

"You go on. I'll keep an eye on the kids," Barret told him.

He found Tifa in a room down the hall. She was lying peacefully on the bed, looking as if she was just sleeping. She wasn't hooked up to any machines, which Cloud hoped was a good sign. The doctor bending over her straightened when Cloud strode in.

"Mr. Strife?"

Cloud gave a short nod, crossing to Tifa's side and looking down at her. "Is she okay?"

"She sustained a head injury," the doctor said, not really answering the question. "She has some scrapes and bruises, but other than that is far more unscathed than many of the patients who have come in. She has some bruising on her brain, which we'll keep an eye on. That's fairly common in head injuries and the bruises usually heal on their own. All we can do at this point is wait until she wakes up and see how she's doing." The doctor gave him a small smile. "We'll keep an eye on her."

Cloud waited until the doctor was out of the room, and then he sat on the edge of Tifa's bed, taking one of her hands and pressing it between both of his. "You did it," he told her quietly. "You kept Denzel safe. And Marlene's going to be okay." He bent down and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Tifa didn't answer, but he heard her voice echoing in his memory anyway. How many words did he have stored away, words that she had given him over the years? "Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault. Do what you can and then take a step forward. No giving up, okay?"

Chapter Text

It had been three days since Tifa had asked Cloud if he loved her. Three days, and though Tifa carried on as if nothing had happened, Cloud knew something between them had shifted slightly. She didn't really smile when he came home--not her real smile, at least--and her chatter about her day was superficial, deliberately lighthearted. He knew because on the second evening, while Tifa was distracted helping Denzel with his homework, Marlene had tiptoed over to Cloud and said quietly, "Cloud, do you know why Tifa's sad again?"

He didn't answer that, but asked, "How do you know she's sad?"

Marlene gave him a pointed look. "It's easy to tell."

He nodded wryly. This was Marlene he was dealing with, after all. "Okay. But did you notice anything in particular?"

Marlene peered over at Tifa, whose head was bent over Denzel's papers. "She's just been quiet and distracted. She almost put alcohol from the fridge in my cup instead of juice this morning, but she stopped just in time."

Cloud's throat was dry. His fault. Again.

"I wish you could stay home tomorrow. I know you have the next day off, but…well, Tifa's always happier when you're here." Marlene shot him a quick look, and then dashed away, as if aware she had said everything she needed to say.

The whole next day, as Cloud made his deliveries, his mind was on Tifa. Questions swirled around his brain. He was always good at that--questioning himself. Wondering if there was something else he could have done, something that he should have done differently. In this case, there was no guessing or asking. He knew he should have done things differently. He still could do things differently.

How long was she going to wait for him? Tifa was always waiting for him, and even when he was finally there, finally free of his burden of guilt, there always seemed to be something else holding him back. Why couldn't he just let go? His fear of hurting her was pointless. He hurt her all the time and she always forgave him.

But what if he hurt her more than he could fix? The nagging voice in his mind was always whispering that she deserved better and that if he was going to keep her at arm's length, why was he bothering to return to Seventh Heaven every day?

He recalled Marlene's words about Tifa always being happier when he was there, and it hit him suddenly that even though she deserved better…she wanted him.

Wasn't this what Tifa had been trying to get across to him all this time? She was always waiting for him. Always. Was that worse pain than anything he might potentially do in the future?

He couldn't know.

He pulled to a stop in front of Seventh Heaven well after dark. He knew the kids would be in bed already, and Tifa might be, too--but when he opened the door, she was sweeping the bar's floor. She paused and glanced up when he came in, that faint, tense smile crossing her face. "Hi, Cloud."

He stared at her for a moment, taking in her weary posture, the slight frown on her forehead, but also seeing it…the glimmer of light in her eyes that was, he knew, for him. Then he was moving swiftly toward her, tracking dirt across her clean floor. He enfolded her in his arms, so tightly he was almost afraid he would crush her, but he couldn't seem to loosen his grip. He realized he was trembling as he clutched the back of her vest with both hands, fingers digging into the leather as if he would spin out of control if he let go. It was a desperate, terrified embrace. He had no idea what he was doing. He had no idea and it scared him.

Tifa was frozen in shock, but then the broom clattered to the floor and her arms were around him, holding him just as tightly, one hand winding gently through his hair. He didn't know how long they stood like that before he said, "Yes."

"What--?" Tifa began, but she sucked in a sharp breath as she realized that he was answering the question she had asked him three days earlier. "Cloud…?" She pressed her face to the crook of his neck and he was dismayed to feel the dampness on her cheeks.

He loosened his grip on her enough that he could lift her face with one hand. She hastily scrambled to wipe the tears away, blinking rapidly. He couldn't find the words, didn't know what to say, anyway. He pressed his forehead to hers, their noses brushing, feeling her breath on his cheek, and realized that he wasn't the only one trembling.

He got a brief glimpse of Tifa's eyes, of that beautiful light shining through them, before she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. It was a brief, gentle gesture, but it was enough to break the dam between them. He caught her mouth with his, one hand going behind her head to pull her closer. Heat surged through him as all the emotions he'd been holding onto so tightly for so long gushed outward. It was so strong and so unexpected and it was consuming him until he knew nothing but fumbling hands, fumbling mouths, the taste and feel and scent that were distinctly Tifa.

It wasn't until he had her backed up against a wall that his brain seemed to kick back into gear, and then it slammed into him where this was leading. Where he wanted it to lead…where Tifa was willingly letting him take it.

But he couldn't take it. He couldn't--he wasn't--he didn't want to hurt her. Was terrified of hurting her. Terrified, always terrified, of what harm he could cause her. He could be poison to her. He'd had so many experiments done on him that he didn't know what effect it could have on her and if he did something to her he would never forgive himself--

He sucked in a sharp, unsteady breath and tried to pull away from her, but she refused to let him go. "Cloud."

"Tifa. I'm--I--can't--"

"It's okay."

He looked at her to see no disappointment in her eyes, just a soft smile.

"It's okay," she repeated, and pulled him close again. "Just stay with me for right now. Please. Just...stay."

So he took another deep breath and carefully, carefully put his arms back around her, knowing how much strength she had and yet afraid he would shatter her completely.

He knew things were still a twisted, tangled mess of emotions and questions between them--but for this moment, even though he didn't know what the next day would bring, even though he didn't know where they would go next, he stayed with her.

And for that moment, it was enough.

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Three - Unfamiliarity

She was cold. It was the first thing she was aware of as she began to awaken. The second thing she was aware of was that she was in pain. It came on all at once as soon as she began to drift to consciousness. Her head was throbbing. She heard voices talking quietly, the sound a garbled mess like a radio in and out of focus. It took a minute for the noise to solidify into words, and then she realized that the voices belonged to a man and a woman.

"--no worries!" the woman was saying. "Barret can handle them, and Shera's going to get some food and bring it over later. And it's not like they're going anywhere; Marlene's not supposed to be walking around or doing anything for at least this week, though she was already trying to wheedle Barret into bringing her back to the hospital tomorrow so she can see Tifa."

"I'll head over there in a little while."

"No need. I already brought you some clean clothes! See?" There came the sound of a rustling bag, and then the woman proclaimed, "Ta-da! I even brought you clean underwear, and I should get extra credit for that. I think my eyes are gonna be permanently burned after going through your dresser."

There was a heavy pause, and then a resigned sigh from the man.

"What?" the woman demanded.

"...nothing. And I don't need to go home for clothes, Yuffie; I need to go there for the kids."

"Barret--"

"I promised Marlene I'd come see her before bedtime," the man interrupted.

There was another pause, and then the woman spoke again, her tone no longer light and teasing. "We finished clearing the school a couple of hours ago. It's not pretty. There were a lot of deaths, and there are still bodies we can't identify. I--I know that you've got a lot on your mind, but you and Tifa knew a lot of the neighborhood kids. I was wondering if you might be able to come to the morgue at some point and see if you can identify--any of the ones that you can."

The silence seemed to stretch, and in a blank, heavy voice, the man said, "Yeah."

What is going on? She tried to pry her eyes open and immediately closed them with a groan as too-bright light struck her face.

She heard a gasp which she was fairly sure did not come from her. She was positive when she heard the woman's voice cry, much too loudly, "Cloud! I think she's waking up! Tifa? Tifa!"

Wincing as the loud vocals made her head pound harder, she slowly braved the light and cracked her eyes open a tiny bit. As her eyes adjusted, she realized it really wasn't that bright. She was in a bed, in a clean room with gray walls. It was nighttime; the sky outside the window was dark, and the room was only lit by a small, covered light on the wall. There was a sink in one corner, and several chairs with blankets on them, messy and rumpled, like someone had been sleeping on them. A hospital?

"She is awake!"

What…? She peered at the people talking. Her sight was obstructed by the looming face of a young woman with short dark hair and dark eyes.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt? See, Cloud, I told you she'd wake up. And I've only been in here for a few minutes! Must be my voice that did it. It's just too beautiful to ignore."

Feeling slightly stunned and a lot confused, she stared at the young woman dazedly. "Who are you?"

The woman struck a pose and announced with great gusto, "I'm the single White Rose of Wutai, the great ninja Yuffie--wait a minute. You're serious?" The eyes widened in distress. "Really? You don't know who I am?"

"I--" She stopped, more confused and beginning to feel quite frightened.

The strange ninja woman drew back, and now she was able to see the other person standing behind her. It was a man, dressed entirely in black leather, with a shock of blond hair that stuck out in every direction imaginable. Eyes too blue and bright, shining with a faint glow that didn't look natural, were looking at her. He looked haggard and exhausted, as though he hadn't slept in a while.

"Tifa?" he said quietly, tentatively, taking a step forward, those eyes studying hers for something that he was not going to find.

Nothing was familiar. She tried to find something, anything, that would tell her who these people were, who she was, where she was. A name, a date, a place. There was nothing. Just a looming blackness in her mind that made her head swim dizzily. Clenching her hands around a blanket, she looked around slowly, which only made her head pound even more.

And that man was still staring at her, waiting for a response. Or maybe hoping for one. What should she ask? What could she ask? She didn't know these people!

"Do you know who you are?" the woman--the single rose ninja or something--asked.

"I--" She closed her eyes, the blackness threatening to pull her back into unconsciousness, and she was tempted to let it. Maybe if she fell back asleep, she would remember everything when she woke up again.

"She doesn't know who she is! Cloud! What are--"

"Yuffie," the man (Cloud?) cut her off. "Will you go get the doctor?"

"Oh, but--oh, all right."

She forced her eyes back open and watched the woman run out of the room, leaving her alone with the intense-looking man standing in front of her and still watching her with that gaze, the corners of his mouth and eyes pinched. He slowly approached her, his eyes not leaving hers as he sat in a chair beside the bed. "Tifa?" he finally said, and she wished she could say 'yes,' and know that's who she was, but all she could do was wince. "You--" He stopped and shook his head, looking suddenly lost and uncertain.

She wasn't sure how to respond to this, so she decided to start small. "Tifa. That's my name?" Of course it was; they said it was, but she needed this reassurance.

He briefly closed those strange eyes. Mako eyes, she realized, and wondered how she could know that and not know her own name, but she was glad she knew why it was his eyes glowed, because it was a bit of knowledge she could cling to. When he opened them, she still could not read the emotions there. Fear, maybe, or disappointment?

"Yes," he affirmed.

Tifa. The name bounced around her head, and though there was still no recognition, at least she had an identity.

Slowly, she struggled into a sitting position. For a moment, her vision swirled around her and her head throbbed wildly, but then her equilibrium adjusted and she was able to focus once more on the man. "And who are you?"

He looked at her, and she could now identify hopelessness in his eyes. "Cloud."

"And we're--friends?"

Cloud didn't answer for a long moment, and he finally said, "Yes."

He certainly didn't give more information than was asked, did he? She would have liked an elaboration--how long had they been friends? How had they met? Were they close? Were they more than friends?

That was a dizzying thought, and she suddenly wasn't sure she wanted to know that right now. Before she could ask anything else, though, the door opened and the talkative white-rose-ninja Yuffie came back in with a man in a white jacket. He smiled at her warmly and then walked forward, extending his hand toward her. "I'm Dr. Anglo. I'm glad to see you're awake. I'm told you're having some memory trouble."

All she could do was blink at him. Some memory trouble? Her head was a fierce, aching mess. She bent over and pressed her forehead to her knees.

The doctor put his fingers under her chin and tilted her head up, shining a light in her eyes. She grimaced away from it as he asked, "What can you tell me about yourself?"

The word that came out sounded as confused as she felt. "Nothing."

Chapter Text

Cloud's body was stiff when he awoke, and it didn't take long to realize why. He had fallen asleep on the floor of the bar. So had Tifa. He remembered with crystal clarity sitting down on the floor and just holding her, remembered beginning to nod off--and now here he was, spread out on the dirty floor, staring up at the underside of one of the tables, with Tifa sprawled half on top of him. The broom she had dropped the night before lay several inches away from his head.

Then he realized what had woken him: the flash of a camera. He saw it again, and his eyes immediately landed on Marlene, who was standing there in her long nightgown with the camera in hand. Denzel stood right behind her, a huge grin on his face.

Tifa stirred when Cloud moved slightly, her own eyes opening. She blinked at him in confusion, then saw the kids and her eyebrows went up. Marlene snapped another photo, exclaimed, "Perfect!" and ran to put the camera away.

Cloud stood swiftly, and Tifa rose with him, brushing her hair out of her eyes and shooting him a flustered sort of look. "I, um…" She sighed and shook her head.

Cloud understood her sudden awkwardness. Things looked different in the light of day, and he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do now.

Tifa was probably thinking along the same lines, for she suddenly said, "Breakfast?"

"I'll make the coffee," Cloud mumbled, his eyes not quite meeting hers.

"I'm already making it!" Marlene called from the kitchen. "And Denzel and I already ate breakfast, Tifa."

"Yeah, we were really quiet so we wouldn't wake you up," Denzel's voice chimed in, also coming from the kitchen. He emerged a moment later with his and Marlene's lunch bags and looked curiously at Cloud and Tifa, but if he had a comment about them sleeping on the floor, he kept it to himself. Instead, he said, "It's raining outside. Can we get a ride to school in the car this morning? I don't have my raincoat back yet."

"What happened to your raincoat?" Cloud asked. He watched Tifa disappear into the kitchen and came back a moment later with two cups of coffee, Marlene following on her heels. Tifa passed Cloud a cup, and he nodded his thanks.

"I gave it to Aria last time it was raining at school. She had to walk a lot farther than me," Denzel said.

"I'll drive you to school," Tifa agreed, peering out the front windows. It was pouring ferociously, pounding against the roof. She took several huge gulps of her coffee and checked her watch. "We'll have to leave soon. Do you have your homework?"

"Yes," Marlene said.

"And our lunches." Denzel held the two lunch bags aloft before Tifa could ask.

When Tifa left to take the kids to school, Cloud sat at the bar with his coffee and dropped his head onto the counter. He didn't even have anywhere to go today, no deliveries to make, since it was his day off. What was he supposed to do now? What was Tifa going to expect of him?

What was he going to expect of himself?

He groaned and raked one hand through his hair. What had he been thinking? That this was somehow going to be miraculously easy? When had anything in his life ever been easy?

Why the hell did he always have to question himself? At least when it came to Tifa. Give him something to fight, a monster to take down, a split-second decision that had to be made in a battle, no problem. He might question himself later, but it wasn't quite the same as this.

He couldn't go back, and he knew it…but he didn't know how to go forward. He found himself wondering vaguely if it was this hard for everyone.

Probably not.

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Four - Questions and Confusion

Nothing.

Cloud stared at Tifa, his heart dropping somewhere in his stomach. He was still reeling from her earlier questions about who he was.

"And we're--friends?"

"Yes."

It was true; they were friends. Best friends. Lovers. Married. And yet, when that question had come out of her mouth, his insides had frozen over. How was he supposed to tell her exactly what she was to him when she was looking at him with those glazed eyes, absolutely no recognition upon her face? He was trying to figure out how to give her the news that they were not just friends when Yuffie and the doctor came into the room.

Maybe it wouldn't last long. Maybe her memory would come back once she'd had time to--

To what? Recover a little? He knew better than anyone the craziness that could come out of memory loss. Granted, he had never actually lost all of his memories, but he'd done a fair job of patching up and confusing other memories in the past.

His hands clenched into fists, and he pressed his thumb against his wedding band, wondering what her reaction would be when she found out they were married.

Wondering what that would mean if this was more than just a temporary amnesia.

Tifa's eyes grazed his again, and he felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. There was no knowledge of him there at all. No hint of the reassurance that was always there no matter how bad things got. No hint of the light that was always in her eyes, sometimes more obvious than others--that look that was for him and him alone.

Before anyone could reply to Tifa's declaration that she remembered nothing, a phone started ringing.

"Oh, now what?" Yuffie yanked her phone out of her pocket and answered it. "Reeve, it's--no! …yes--it's not a good time! I've--okay, okay, just give me a sec, will you?" Shaking her head, she snapped the phone closed. "I've gotta go. I'll be back, I promise, and no worries, Tifa; I'm sure you'll remember me in no time. I'm pretty unforgettable and I bet I can make you remember one way or another! Besides, there was this one time that I got hit on the head when I was a kid and couldn't remember my old man for two whole days. Of course, then my memory kicked back in and I spent another week pretending I didn't know him just for the fun of it. Was he ever mad when he found out."

Still, Cloud caught the worried look Yuffie flashed him. She held up her hand to her ear and mouthed, "I'll call you later," before she left the room.

Cloud became aware that the doctor was talking about running tests on Tifa, but Tifa herself still looked terribly dazed. She blinked at the doctor in mild confusion.

"Mrs. Strife?" the doctor peered at her, shining the light in her eyes again and making her flinch.

Mrs.... Well, now he probably didn't have to figure out how to explain to Tifa that she was married. She stared at the doctor, and then looked slowly down at her hands. She touched the rings on her fingers--the one with the wolf on her right hand, and the thin silver wedding band on her left. Her eyes were drawn back to Cloud--to the wedding ring on his own hand.

"Are you--" she began. "Are we…married?"

Cloud's eyes didn't leave hers as he nodded once, slowly, and she leaned back against her pillows, her eyes wide. She pressed her hands to her head and bent over again. "I…can't…" she said slowly. "I'm so…tired. So confused."

"That's understandable," Dr. Anglo said, "but let's try to keep you awake a bit longer, all right? I'm going to take you to the lab to run some initial tests."

Tifa managed to lift her head, and she looked just as lost as Cloud felt. "Okay." She glanced again at Cloud, and then her eyes skittered away from him.

It was the most awkward, uncomfortable moment between them since their wedding night, and Cloud hated it.

His own phone rang then, and he pulled it out, glancing at the name flashing on the screen. Home. The kids, probably.

The kids…what was he going to tell the kids? Things were already horrible for both of them. Marlene had been in the hospital for two days, and had only just been released. Aside from the physical ramifications, no one had really dealt with the emotional ramifications of the attack on the school. A lot of Denzel and Marlene's friends were dead, and though Marlene had spent a while after she woke up from surgery crying, Cloud knew it was far from over. No matter how much death Marlene and Denzel had been faced with, this was horribly traumatic and painful. And they had both been terrified about Tifa.

Calm down, he told himself. Tifa was alive, she was awake--he had been afraid (though he hadn't let himself admit it) that she might not wake up. Anything else--they could handle it. They had handled worse in the past.

A past she couldn't remember.

His phone was still ringing. He answered it and immediately heard Marlene's voice on the other end. "Cloud?" she asked plaintively.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her quietly.

"I'm okay," she said in a bracing, almost-cheerful voice that he knew meant she was not okay. "How's Tifa doing?"

Cloud looked over where Tifa was listening to the doctor and hesitated a long moment before saying, "She just woke up."

"She did?" Cloud had to hold the phone slightly away from his ear at Marlene's excited shout. "Can I talk to her?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea right now."

"Why not?"

Because she won't know who she's talking to. "I'll talk to you about it later."

"Is she okay?" Marlene asked worriedly.

"She's okay. There are just--look, I'll come home soon and we'll talk. All right?"

"All right," Marlene said uncertainly. "How soon?"

He suppressed a sigh and rubbed his fingers across the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to leave Tifa alone; part of him afraid she would fall back asleep and not wake up again, but he had promised Marlene he'd see her before bed.

And it wasn't as though Tifa would miss his company.

"Hang on," Cloud said into the phone. He looked at the doctor. "Are you taking her for tests right now?"

"Yes. She'll be back in this room in about an hour, if you have matters to attend to in the meantime," the doctor replied.

Cloud still hesitated, his eyes on Tifa. She had to feel horribly alone and confused right now. "Tifa. Do you want me to stay for your tests?" Before I go home, explain to our kids that at least right now, you have no memory, make sure they have their pain killers, and tell Barret to leave the light on in Marlene's room tonight even when she insists he turn it off?

"I--um…" She looked completely lost.

He wanted to hold her, to touch her, to do something to reassure her, to express his relief that she was awake and alive, but he couldn't do that, not when she didn't know...anything.

He made the decision before he really processed that he had made it. He told Marlene, "I'm going to stay with Tifa for a while. The doctors are going to run some tests on her, and then I'll come."

"Okay."

Cloud waited until Marlene had said good-bye and hung up the phone before flipping his own shut, and then he paused by Tifa's bed. She looked at him, her eyes baffled, exhausted, and uncertain. "Cloud?" Her voice was just as unsure as her expression, as though she wasn't even sure she could address him, or as though she wasn't sure she was addressing him correctly. That tone coming from her made his heart fall completely out his stomach and drop somewhere to the vicinity of his feet.

It hurt.

There was still no recognition in her eyes. It was like looking at a stranger wearing Tifa's face. He didn't know what Tifa saw in his face, but she bit her lip and a frown creased her forehead. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Me, too, he thought, for more reasons than he could begin to put to words.

:--:--:--:--:

Tifa fell asleep in the middle of the tests the doctor was running on her, some sort of scans on her head. She had been pelted with question after question after question. Did she know the date? Where was Midgar in relation to Kalm? What was eight times nine? So many questions being asked, so that she didn't have time to ask any of her own before darkness had tugged her back into the waiting arms of sleep.

She woke up back in the hospital room, only this time, weak sunlight was filtering through the window. She still didn't remember anything except for waking up the previous night. At least, she hoped she hadn't slept away more than one night. Her mind felt much clearer now then it had the first time she'd come around. She could focus better, and her mind was brimming with questions.

Her eyes found Cloud on one of the chairs, his eyes closed. She took a moment to study him; she still knew nothing about him except that they were married and he was very quiet. And that at some point in his life, he had been exposed to Mako. It was strangest thing to see him and realize that she must have loved him. Loved him enough to marry him. She had a hundred things she wanted to ask him, but at the same time, she felt horribly self-conscious and unsure of what to say. It was strange to see a man who she was supposed to know well and to not know him at all. To think that he must know everything about her, that he knew her intimately. Strange and awkward to realize that she had obviously made love with him.

She sat up slowly, and Cloud's eyes snapped open. Either he hadn't been asleep or he was such a light sleeper that the rustling of the sheets had awakened him. He really had beautiful eyes, she thought.

He searched her face, and she searched his right back, before his forehead pinched into a small frown. "You still don't remember."

"No," she said softly.

A heavy silence, which she broke with one of the questions bubbling in her mind. "So…um, how long have we been married?"

"Ten months." Cloud continued to watch her, and she noticed he wore an earring of a wolf that matched the ring on her right hand.

"Can you--can you tell me about it?" she asked tentatively. "About my life?"

Cloud let out a slow breath. "Your life is pretty long and very complicated." He paused, probably trying to decide where to start. "You and I both grew up in Nibelheim."

Nibelheim. The name brought an image to her mind, and she said slowly, "A little village in the mountains."

"You remember it?"

"Sort of," she said, testing it in her mind. "I can remember a lot of places. I--have this map in my head and I can tell you where places are, and what some of them look like, but I don't know why I know what they look like."

"You've been to a lot of places," Cloud told her.

"So we grew up together and…just stayed together?"

"Not entirely."

Tifa waited, wondering if he was going to expound upon that or if she was going to have to ask specific inquiries for everything she wanted to know. If so, this was going to take a very long time.

Thankfully, he continued. "For the last four years, we've lived in a house attached to a bar called Seventh Heaven. You run it."

Tifa blinked. "I'm a bartender?"

"Bartender, business owner--you're a lot of things," Cloud agreed. "I run a delivery service out of the house."

When she thought about it, she realized it made sense. The part about her running a bar, at least. She could recall the names of various alcoholic drinks, and if someone had asked, she could have told them precisely what went into those drinks.

She just couldn't remember ever actually making them.

"What happened to me? Did I get in a bar fight or something?" Tifa asked, touching the most aching area of her head.

For some reason, that brought a short, humorless laugh from Cloud. "No." Another silence. "There was a school near Seventh Heaven. Three days ago, it was attacked by a monster. You went to the school to make sure the kids were safe."

It was the way he said "the kids" that made her ask, "Do we have kids?" He looked so young; if they had kids old enough to be in school...

"Yes. Denzel and Marlene. They're both adopted. Denzel's ten and Marlene's eight."

Tifa vaguely recalled the conversation she had first woken up to, when Cloud had been talking about Marlene. "She got hurt," she said suddenly. "Marlene--she wasn't supposed to be walking around, right?"

A nod of affirmation. "She had to have surgery. Denzel got a broken arm. He probably would have been dead if not for you. You kept him safe. That's how you got hurt."

So she had ended up like this to save her son's life. Given that knowledge, she was willing to believe that it was more than a fair exchange. Her memories for someone's life? There was no contest. "A lot of other kids died, though?" she asked softly. "That woman--Yuffie. She wants you to try to identify some of them."

Cloud's eyes darkened and he looked away from her. "Yeah."

"Where are they now? Our--our kids?"

"At home with Barret. Marlene's adoptive father," he added before she could ask.

Tifa's forehead creased in confusion. "But you said--"

Cloud rubbed a hand across his face. "It's complicated." He did his best to fill her in on Marlene's parents, the man called Barret, and how Marlene had been left in Cloud and Tifa's care since she was four. "You're the only mother she's ever known," he told her.

"And Denzel?"

"He was seven when he came to live with us. He was dying of Geostigma, though that's been cured."

"Geostigma?" The term brought up a vague knowledge of pain and blackness, but she didn't quite know how it related to her.

There were obviously a lot of holes to fill in, and she had hardly begun to scratch the surface when Dr. Anglo came in with a folder in hand. "Good morning. How are you feeling today?"

She had no memory. How did he think she was feeling? "Okay."

He asked her some questions--most relating to whether she could she remember what happened last night when she was awake--and when she answered them, he said, "Well, the good news is, the scans on your brain still came back just showing some bruising, which I think will heal just fine on their own. You're really quite fortunate. Getting your head hit as hard as it did, you could have ended up a lot worse. You still have full use of your body, your vision is intact--"

"But not my memory," she interrupted. "Will that get better?"

"I don't know," Dr. Anglo said. "You're suffering from complete retrograde amnesia--that is, you can't recall anything before getting injured. I'm going to keep you for observation for a few days. I'd like to be as positive as I can that you're not suffering from anterograde amnesia as well."

"What?" Tifa asked blankly.

"Some patients who suffer from retrograde amnesia also suffer from anterograde amnesia, which is the inability to retain any new memories."

It took a moment for Tifa to process this, and then, horrified, she said, "You mean I might forget any new memories I make?"

"In all honesty, I don't think you have anterograde amnesia. After all the questions I asked you last night, and after what you've just told me, it appears to simply be retrograde amnesia. You can recall facts quite clearly--events, history, when something monumental took place, mathematics, basic knowledge. You simply cannot remember anything that relates to you personally." He launched into an explanation of the brain and various parts of memory, but when he got talking about procedural memory versus declarative memory and then broke it down into semantic and episodic memory, she had a harder time following him. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing simple about losing her entire past. "Suffice to say," he finally finished, "that it appears your ability to create and maintain new memories is intact, but I still want to run some more tests."

"What about the loss of memories? Will she ever get them back?" Cloud asked.

"I honestly can't say. It's very rare for someone to have total loss of memory. It could be the memories will never return, or they could come back tomorrow. More commonly with patients with retrograde amnesia, the memories will return gradually. It could take days, weeks, years. Exposure to familiar places, people, and events can help bring out the memories." The doctor smiled wryly. "Contrary to common myth, it is not a wise idea to whack someone on the head again in an attempt to reverse the amnesia. These things just take time."

Time…and then…what if it doesn't come back at all? Tifa wondered. She shot a furtive glance in Cloud's direction and was suddenly more terrified than ever.

Dr. Anglo was still talking. "--may or may not be able to recall skills that you were trained to do. If you played an instrument, you may very well still be able to play it, even if you don't recall learning it. Or swimming, driving, riding a bike--if you don't remember how to perform a task you previously learned, then it should at least be easier to relearn. Though as I said, we will run more tests before we release you. Do you have any questions?"

A million, but probably nothing you can help me with. "Not right now," she said softly.

After the doctor left the room, she glanced at Cloud out of the corner of her eye, and when she saw the lost expression on his face, she felt more horrible than ever. As frustrating and upsetting as the loss of memory was for her, she could only imagine what it must be like for Cloud.

After a long moment and a deep breath, Cloud shifted toward her. "I'll bring you some clothes and stuff from home. And if you're feeling up for it, Denzel and Marlene want to see you."

How hard was that going to be? For her? For them? It wasn't as though putting it off was going to make it any easier, but she already knew it was going to hurt seeing the faces of children who were hers and at the same time not knowing them. They had just been through a horribly traumatic event, and now they were going to be presented with a mother who knew nothing about them.

All she wanted to do at that moment was curl up in a ball and cry for a while, but instead, she bit her lip and nodded slowly at Cloud. "Okay."

Chapter Text

The first few days after Cloud's admission to Tifa that he really did love her were strange and had their fill of awkward, what-do-we-do-now moments. When he looked back on it later, he knew he wouldn't have traded those moments for anything. They were the stumbling first steps from friendship to romance between two people who were deeply afraid, who each still dealt with the ghosts of past pains and disappointments. For both of them, there existed the fear, sometimes faint and flickering, sometimes bright and burning, that they would be left alone. They both had lost so much in the past, but Tifa had always been willing to plunge forward however scared she might be, always willing to fight for every day she could get. Cloud had not always been that way, but if there was anything he had learned, it was that if he always tried to be alone to spare himself from pain and disappointment, he would live with pain and disappointment regardless. He had learned that he wanted to try.

It didn't take long before the strangeness faded into something more comfortable, before Cloud was not surprised by the kiss Tifa gave him before he left on his deliveries, before it was normal to lie with her on the couch in the evening after the kids were in bed and talk about their days.

The months that followed were a learning process for both of them, but especially for Cloud. He didn't always know what to do with himself, and hated that he still had that clumsiness in a relationship that was generally attributed to the very young and inexperienced. That was just the point, though--he might not be so young anymore, but he was definitely inexperienced. His teenage years had been anything but normal. There had been no courting of girls, no bringing home flowers or going on dates. There had been training to fight, and then years in a test tube, followed by muddled memories and confusion and watching people he cared for die.

There were still some places that Cloud couldn't yet go with Tifa. No matter how their love continued to grow, no matter how many times he wanted nothing more than to strip away every single wall between them, to just be with Tifa wholly, completely, in every sense of the word--he couldn't. He did not know what the years of experiments, Mako infusions, and Jenova cells in his body might do to Tifa. Didn't know what would happen if they had kids--if he even could have kids. But aside from those worries, ultimately he did not feel worthy. How could he ask everything of her if he couldn't promise her forever? And how could he promise her forever at all when asking everything of her could be dangerous for her because of who he was, because of who he had been made to be?

It was a circular, perhaps ridiculous cycle, but it was not something he knew how to let go of at all.

And it was not something that Tifa was going to let him hold onto. She brought it up one night after Denzel and Marlene were asleep. It had been their day off, and they had spent it taking the kids to a chocobo farm. After taking showers to rid themselves of the musty smell of the animals, Tifa curled up on the couch with him, a cup of hot tea in her hands. She was studying him in a way he knew meant something was on her mind. He met her eyes levelly, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Cloud," she said slowly, "have you thought about our future at all?"

He immediately tensed.

Tifa sighed and set her tea carefully on the end table. She leaned toward him, resting both hands on his arm. "We've been together a long time."

"I know." But they had only been together as an actual couple for several months.

That's just an excuse, part of his mind whispered.

Yuffie had recently compared their relationship to a very slow roasted dinner. "You're still not even sharing a room? I've never known anyone who took so long to just get some action going!" she had exclaimed. "Sometimes you just need a quick meal, you know?" The wink she had thrown them had been horribly obvious and horribly mortifying…and completely Yuffie.

Tifa's eyes were still searching his face. She frowned a little and one hand moved to his face, her fingers tracing his jaw line. "Is it still so hard?"

Cloud took her hand and pulled it away from his face, but curled his fingers around hers. She had no idea. He was still trying to get used to the increased frequency of her gentle touches. She had always been there go give him a hug, a touch on the shoulder, a hand on his, and even that had been something foreign to him in the beginning and had taken him a while to get used to. For so many years, the only touches he had endured had been ones of pain and clinical experimentation.

"It's okay," she said softly, her fingers tightening on his. "I'm not going anywhere, Cloud."

Cloud looked away from her. You can't promise that.

He didn't say it, but she must have had some idea what he was thinking. She sighed and leaned into him, her face pressing into his shoulder, letting go of his hand and slipping her arms around him. "I love you," she whispered. "No matter what, you'll always have that. I promise."

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Chapter Five - Marlene and Denzel

Cloud returned to Seventh Heaven to find Barret and Denzel crowded around Marlene's bed, playing a card game with her. "Cloud!" both kids exclaimed, and Barret greeted him with a nod and a loud, "Hey, Spiky!" Marlene was propped up with pillows. She still looked wan and pale, and a little groggy. The pain meds she was taking were making her sleep a lot, which was probably good for her. She had been in a lot of pain and throwing up when he had come home the previous evening.

Barret's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Cloud. "How's Tifa doin'?"

Cloud looked at Marlene and Denzel. Marlene's expression was clouded over and Denzel's eyes were worried.

"Does she remember us now?" Marlene asked hopefully. When Cloud had explained to the kids that Tifa was having memory problems, Marlene had been hopeful that whatever tests the doctors did could fix her. Denzel hadn't looked as optimistic, and now, as both children watched Cloud, Denzel's expression was lost and resigned as he braced himself for the worst.

"No," Cloud said. He walked over to Marlene's bed and sat beside her, careful not to disrupt the card game spread out on the blankets. Quietly, he filled them all in on everything the doctor had explained about Tifa's condition.

As he spoke, he watched Denzel's face grow tenser, and Cloud recognized something else within the boy's eyes--guilt. An old, familiar emotion, and it didn't surprise him to see it in Denzel now. Marlene's eyes were desolate, and when Denzel asked, "What if she never remembers us?" Marlene burst out, "The doctor said we might be able to help her remember by showing her things she knows! Right, Cloud?"

"Right," he agreed, trying to sound positive for her sake, though inwardly he wondered if any of them really knew how difficult this might be. He didn't hold out hope that her memories would suddenly return all at once. It would be nice, but that never seemed to be how their lives worked. He had to prepare himself for the worst.

Marlene blinked away what looked suspiciously like tears and said bravely, "We'll help her, Cloud."

Cloud's hand rested on her shoulder. "I know."

"She up for visitors?" Barret asked.

"She's ready to see the kids," Cloud replied. He wondered what Tifa's reaction would be if Barret showed up at the hospital without warning, but Barret just nodded.

"Might be a good idea jus' to let her see the kids first. Ease into it," he said gruffly. "You think you're feelin' up for a visit to your mom, Marlene?"

"Yes," Marlene said. Her eyes moved pleadingly to Cloud. "Can we go now, Cloud? Papa just gave me my medicine and I know it's going to make me tired soon."

Cloud nodded. "Let me get some things to take to Tifa first."

"Cloud?" Marlene's hand on his stopped him as he made to get off the bed. "We're going to be okay."

The way she said it, Cloud wasn't sure if it was a question or a reassurance. Though he couldn't promise her anything, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before he left the room.

Denzel followed him out, waiting in the doorway of Cloud and Tifa's room as Cloud grabbed a bag and opened Tifa's drawers to get her some clothes. "Can I help?"

Cloud glanced back at the boy hovering uncertainly and recognized his need to do something, anything, to feel useful in a difficult situation. "How about you grab Tifa's shampoo and toothbrush?"

"Okay."

Cloud grabbed a couple of shirts and stuffed them in the bag. When he turned back to the dresser, he was confronted with a photo sitting on top of it--a picture from their vacation at Costa del Sol. It had been taken by some random photographer on the beach who was trying to earn a few gil--a photographer who had not, fortunately, recognized them. Denzel and Marlene were happily burying Cloud in the sand, while Tifa, laughing, bent over his head, about to kiss him.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, snatched some underwear from the dresser without really looking at them, and tossed them in the bag before zipping it closed.

:--:--:--:--:

Cloud left the hospital for a little while, and Tifa was subjected to further tests. The doctor poked and prodded and continued his questions, making enough notes, she thought, to create an entire book. She learned a few more things about herself in the process by glancing at her own chart, and so what she found was medically related, but it was still something. She was twenty-four years old, one hundred sixty-seven centimeters tall, and her blood type was B.

When Cloud returned, he came into the room with a small girl--Marlene, obviously--cradled in his arms, her own arms around his neck. She was wearing a long, cream-colored dress and had brown hair that was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Her dark eyes met Tifa's, and the first thing Tifa noticed was that her eyes looked far too old for her face. They were the eyes of a child who had been through too much for her years.

Standing uncertainly behind Cloud was a boy--Denzel--with floppy brown hair, a smattering of freckles, and blue eyes almost as brilliant as Cloud's. His left arm was in a cast and sling. His eyes, too, had that aged appearance, and he peered at her solemnly.

They were beautiful children, and just as unfamiliar to her as everyone else. Still, she knew this had to be as difficult for them as it was for her, and she wished she could reassure them somehow. She settled with smiling at them. "Hi."

Cloud set Marlene carefully on a chair next to Tifa's bed. The girl clasped her hands in her lap and continued to watch Tifa. "Hi. Cloud says you don't remember us."

Tifa felt a surge of remorse. "I'm sorry."

Marlene swallowed, but nodded. "That's okay. We'll help you remember. I'm Marlene. I'm eight. That's Denzel. He's ten, but he'll be eleven in a few months."

Tifa gave her another small smile, looking at Denzel to include him in the gesture. "Why don't you tell me about yourselves?" Even if it didn't trigger anything in her mind, she would at least learn something about her kids.

It quickly became apparent that Marlene was the more talkative one. Denzel mostly just stood next to Cloud and watched Tifa with guarded, sad eyes. He put in a few comments here and there, and Tifa learned a few things about both of them. She discovered the Marlene's favorite color was pink, that Denzel didn't like squash, that Marlene liked to draw, and that Denzel had recently begun, from time to time, to go with Cloud on deliveries.

She committed each little fact about Denzel and Marlene to memory, but she really didn't learn all that much about them before Marlene's eyelids started to droop. Cloud, who had been watching her carefully, noticed it immediately. "I think it's about time we got you home, Marlene."

"Already?" Marlene said, but she was fighting to keep her eyes open. Before Cloud could pick her up, she stood carefully, a grimace of pain flashing across her face as she took a step to Tifa's side. Tifa didn't even have time to blink before the little girl's arms were wrapped around her neck. Marlene buried her face in Tifa's shoulder and sniffled once, whether from pain or misery, Tifa didn't know.

Tifa stared down at the child, a lump of ache settling in her own chest as she gently put her arms back around her. It was a moment before Marlene pulled away and whispered, "You'll come home soon, right?"

Home. "Yes." Where else was she going to go? She belonged with this family, was part of it. She had fit with them before...she could fit with them still, couldn't she?

Marlene searched Tifa's face, and then nodded slowly. "I'm ready, Cloud. 'Bye, Tifa."

Cloud stepped forward to gather Marlene up in his arms again, setting a black bag on the end of Tifa's bed. "That's some of your stuff."

Tifa blinked away the wetness in her eyes as Denzel muttered a good-bye and they turned to leave. It wasn't until the door had closed behind them that she bent over, pressing her face to her knees, the burning ache of grief in her chest threatening to choke the breath out of her. She felt utterly lost.

She took several deep, heaving breaths and forced herself to stay calm. She focused on pulling the bag that Cloud had brought her closer and opening it. The front pocket contained toiletry items--shampoo, a toothbrush, some soap and lotion. She was suddenly itching to take a shower; there was a small, stand-up shower in the little bathroom in the hallway, but she hadn't had time to make use of it yet.

When she opened the large pocket on the bag, the first thing she saw was several pairs of underwear. That might not have been so bad, except when she pulled them out, she found one pair of very lacy, see-through black underwear that was definitely not for practical use. Heat rose in her cheeks as she stared at it, and then she quickly stuffed it back into the bag, as far down as she could shove it. Was she supposed to read something into that or had Cloud just grabbed things without looking to see what he was getting? She was more inclined to think the latter. Either that or she wore this on a regular basis. It only frustrated her more to realize she didn't know. Did her past experiences make her who she was? Was she going to be completely different in personality now than she had been before? Did she even have an identity?

Biting hard on her lower lip, she pulled the other clothes out of the bag. Some shorts, shirts, a black leather vest, a skirt, some socks, and at the very bottom, a pair of sneakers. All sensible clothes, with the exception of that lacy underwear.

Taking a deep breath, she repacked the bag, and when someone next came in to check on her, asked if she could take a shower. She felt a little dizzy when she stood up, but it passed quickly, and she made her way to the bathroom with her bag in hand.

She got another surprise when she pulled off her hospital gown to get into the shower. She hadn't seen herself completely naked since waking up, and now that she got a good look at her body, she noticed all the scars. Most of them were small, as though she had received a lot of little cuts and scrapes over the years. But there was one large, ugly scar beginning on the left side of her chest, then cutting across her right breast and running down just underneath it. She ran her fingers over it, wondering where it had come from--where all the little scars had come from. Her body told a story of its own, another painful reminder that it was a story she didn't know.

She turned on the water as hot as she could stand it and stepped into it, scrubbing off days of dirt and sweat and hospital smell. Then she leaned her head against the wall while the water washed the soap bubbles down the drain, and only then did she succumb to tears. She knew that crying wasn't going to change anything; it certainly wasn't going to bring her memories back, but it still took a minute to pull herself together.

I can do this. I can do this. I have to do this. I have other people depending on me. The images of the sad, tired eyes of Marlene and Denzel flashed through her mind, and she took a steadying breath. I have to be strong for them…even if I can't remember.

I can do this.

Chapter Text

Cloud returned home right as the bar was supposed to be closing. As soon as he killed Fenrir's engine, he could hear the noises coming from inside the bar--noises that were indication of trouble within. He had his sword in his hand and was shoving through the door an instant later.

He stepped inside just as Tifa landed a punch on a man twice her size that sent his head snapping backwards and into a wall. One of the pictures on the wall shook and tilted sideways, but didn't fall off.

There were two other men already down; one of them unconscious and the other one being held down by three of Tifa's regular customers. The man was screaming and cursing--all the noise he had heard. It had undoubtedly woken up Marlene and Denzel, but the kids knew better than to come into the bar if there was ever a fight, so there was no sign of them.

The man screaming obscenities shut up the instant Cloud had his sword pointed a hairsbreadth from his nose. Cloud's eyes were blazing, but his voice was quiet when he said, "Get out now and don't ever come back."

The man did not miss the threat in Cloud's voice. He was escorted out by Tifa's regulars, who then came back for the two unconscious men, saying, "No worries, Tifa, we'll take care of 'em for ya!" They nodded at Cloud, who nodded back, and pretty soon the bar was empty. Tifa firmly locked the door while Cloud went to make sure the kids were in bed. They were at the top of the stairs, wide-eyed, but he assured them that all was well and tucked them back into bed before going back downstairs.

There was broken glass and spilled ale on the floor. Tifa was busy sweeping up chunks of glass, and it wasn't until then that Cloud really got a good look at her and saw the bleeding cut on her right cheekbone. He strode over to her and tilted her chin to the side. "You're bleeding."

"I am?"

Cloud took the broom from her and pointed her toward a stool. "Sit." He went into the kitchen to fetch one of the first aid kits. Tifa sat still while he swabbed her cut with alcohol and then put some medicine and a bandage on top of it. His eyes were dark, but his fingers were gentle.

"They didn't hit me," Tifa said. "I must have gotten hit with a piece of glass when one of them threw a cup at the wall and it shattered." As soon as Cloud's fingers moved away from her face, she slid off the stool and grabbed a rag to clean up the ale on the ground, but he stopped her and snatched the rag out of her hand.

"Tifa. What happened?"

"Just some unruly customers," Tifa said. "Must have been from out of town. I didn't recognize them." She tried to grab the rag back from Cloud, but he pulled it out of reach before her hand could close around it. Looking mildly irritated, she planted her hands on her hips. "Can I clean my bar, please?"

"Why did they start a fight? You don't let people get too drunk in here."

"Oh, they were pretty sober. They didn't really start the fight. They started to get kind of crude--"

"To you?"

"What does it matter?" Tifa asked.

"It matters."

"Yes, to me. Some of my regulars took exception to it and then a fight sprang up." Tifa darted in quickly and tugged the rag from his fist, kneeling on the ground to carefully wipe up the wet spots across the floor. "Stop worrying, Cloud. I can handle it."

Cloud stared at her back silently, and then went to get another rag to help her clean up. "If they come back--"

"I can handle it," Tifa said, more sharply than she usually spoke to him. She sighed and rolled back on her heels, wet rag clenched in her hand. "I'm sorry. I just--" Her face tightened and she shook her head. "Never mind." She gathered up the broom, the dustpan full of broken glass, and headed for the kitchen.

Never mind. Tifa's favorite words when she wanted to avoid a confrontation, when she was afraid of pushing Cloud too far, afraid of scaring him away. When she had trouble expressing what she was really feeling. He narrowed his eyes at her and followed her into the kitchen, where he dropped his own dirty rag in the sink with Tifa's, watching as she dumped glass into the trash bin.

"Tifa."

Tifa shook her head. "Don't--"

"I am worried about it," he said, before she could finish her sentence. "What's bothering you?"

Tifa stood silently. Cloud folded his arms and waited. Finally, hesitating, she said, "You can't protect me from everything." She shook her head. "No. I don't want you to try. Cloud…" She bit her lip, closing her eyes briefly before meeting his again. "I'll never regret the promise that we made all those years ago. It's meant more to me than you'll ever know. You've come for me over and over again."

It was Cloud's turn to shake his head. He had failed in keeping that promise so many times. Times he had left Tifa alone, times he had thought he was trying to protect her but in reality was only making things worse for her. More often than not, though, it seemed she had been the one to save him. As the years had passed, he had come to realize that she didn't need him to keep her safe--not all the time, anyway. She was more than capable of taking care of herself.

Tifa took a step closer to him. "You have. More than you know. And I need you here. I want you here. But I don't want you to try to protect me from everything. I don't want you to try to protect me from you." Tifa folded her arms across her chest, her posture mimicking Cloud's. "Don't you think I know? I know you're scared. I know you're scared of hurting me. I know that's why… but Cloud, I can handle it."

He took a reflexive step backward. "You don't know that."

"Neither do you," she returned. "And I don't care. I don't care, Cloud. I want to be with you. I don't want there to be anymore walls between us. I want to have the rest of my life with you. I can wait. I can wait, but you have to stop trying to protect me from yourself. You have to let me have a say in the matter, too. You have to let me decide for myself what I can and can't handle."

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Six - Old Friends, New Faces

"Are you coming back to the hospital?" Denzel asked as he, Cloud, and Marlene left Tifa's room.

"Yeah." Cloud was supposed to be at the hospital morgue in half an hour to see if he could identify any children, and he was trying not to think about it until he was there. "You want to stay and visit Aria?"

Denzel nodded silently.

"Go ahead. I'll come get you later. Here." Cloud shifted so he could support Marlene with one arm and dug out a handful of gil, pressing it into Denzel's hand. "For lunch."

Denzel's hand closed around the gil and he carefully tucked it into his pocket. "Thanks, Cloud." He turned and walked farther down the hallway while Cloud headed for the elevators with Marlene.

Marlene was already asleep by the time Cloud walked out of the hospital. The air outside was frigid, with patches of dirty snow still spattered around the ground, and Cloud hurried to put Marlene in the car. He had tried getting the kids into their warm jackets back at Seventh Heaven, but Marlene had almost started crying and said that it was too tight on her stomach. Denzel had struggled to hold his in place over his awkward sling, so Cloud had settled with putting a heavy blanket in the car to cover the kids on the trip to the hospital.

Marlene barely blinked when he buckled her in. He tucked the thick blanket up to her chin before driving the short distance home. When he lifted her out of the car, she mumbled something and shifted a little, turning her face into Cloud's chest and whimpering. Cloud frowned at her, wondering if she'd had many nightmares during the night; he had spent most of the night at the hospital and he hadn't had a chance to ask Barret yet. He wondered if Denzel had been having them--Denzel had always been able to hide them better than Marlene, who usually woke up screaming when she had a bad dream. Denzel always just tried to take care of himself.

Tifa would have known. She had a sixth sense about that sort of thing, always waking up and seeming to know if Denzel had gone downstairs to get a glass of water because he'd had a nightmare. Denzel might be more talkative with Cloud about a lot of subjects, but Tifa had an intuition about the kids that Cloud didn't always have.

After settling Marlene in bed and leaving her under Barret's watchful eye, Cloud headed back to the hospital. He anticipated having Denzel on the way home, so he opted to take the family car again instead of Fenrir.

The doctor at the morgue greeted him somberly when he arrived before handing him a face mask and something to smear under his nose. "To block the smell," she said, as if he couldn't have figured that out. It only heightened his apprehension. "Are you ready? We've already been able to identify most of them--the people who run the children's homes knew a lot of them."

Ready ? He didn't think he'd ever be ready to examine the bodies of dead kids. It was especially hard because he knew his own kids had come close to being among them.

It only took about ten minutes to go through the morgue, but they were a haunting ten minutes that he knew he would be reliving in his mind for a long time to come. Some of the faces were mutilated beyond recognition, but the doctor showed him the bodies anyway, in case he could identify a child by clothing.

He found two kids he could identify, one by her face and one whose face was too damaged for recognition, but whom he knew because of her necklace. Seeing the necklace was like getting hit in the face with a bucket of ice water. Marlene had given it to one of her best friends for her birthday not even a month earlier.

He was in a state of numbness when he left the morgue and made his way back up to the eighth floor. He planned on getting Denzel and leaving, but found himself stopping in front of Tifa's door. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to see her, even if he'd only seen her a short time ago. Maybe even a glimpse of her alive would help blot out the horrific images he had just witnessed, if only for a moment.

When he entered her hospital room, he found her sitting in a chair at the window, staring out at Edge. She had obviously showered; her hair was wet and she was wearing some of the clothes he had brought from home. When she turned to look at him, his heart jumped--she looked much more herself out of the hospital gown.

"Cloud." She gave him a small smile, but it was cautious and very guarded. If anything, she looked a little embarrassed. She tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear and it was a moment before she found her voice again. "Um, is Marlene okay?"

"Yeah. She's at home." Now that he was there he wondered why he had bothered stopping. She just looked awkward--and worse, looked like she was trying to hide it. At least, he realized, he was still able to read her expression. Strangely, this didn't do anything to comfort him. If anything, it made him feel worse.

Tifa turned back to the window. "You can sit down if you want," she said, waving at the chair next to her. "Unless you need to go home."

Cloud shook his head. "Denzel's visiting his friend Aria here. I'll give him a little longer." He sat tensely on the chair next to Tifa. She smelled of her shampoo, a faint scent that made his stomach clench at the familiarity.

"They must have lost so many friends," Tifa said softly.

Cloud was quiet for a moment before saying, "Denzel's two closest friends lived through it. Aria will be here all this week. She has two broken legs--one was shattered so badly she had to have surgery on it." Because Aria lived in one of the group homes for orphans, the only person she'd had to check in on her was the woman who ran the home, and she'd had her hands full as it was. "Izzi--you saved him, too. But…" The image of the mangled body of Marlene's friend in the morgue was heavy on his mind. He looked away from Tifa.

"What is it?" Tifa asked softly, and when Cloud looked back at her, it was to find her expression had changed from something uncomfortable to one of concern.

"I went to the morgue."

Tifa's eyes widened. "Oh…" she breathed. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Marlene's friend Kiri was there. I don't know how I'm going to--" He broke off and shook his head. Marlene had been too out of it to focus much on what happened, but she had asked about her friends. Denzel had been the one to go scouting through the hospital after Marlene first woke up, finding out as much as he could about which of their friends were alive.

"Is there anything I can do?" Tifa asked softly.

There were so many ways that Cloud could have replied to that. He knew Tifa was going to be thrown back into the chaos of her normal life soon, and he wasn't sure how she was going to handle it. Would she be the same Tifa that he knew, the one who loved and encouraged and gave everyone else a hand up while trying so hard to ignore her own needs? Would she be willing to stay with him and the kids and work through the mess they were in?

Would she be able to love him again?

Cloud quickly shoved that thought to the back of his mind where he wouldn't have to examine it right then.

"Cloud?" Tifa was peering at him worriedly. "I'll--I'll help with Denzel and Marlene. I don't…I don't know exactly how best to do that, but maybe you can help me?"

Cloud nodded once. "Yeah."

Tifa studied him for a moment longer before turning back to the window. "This is hard for you, too."

It wasn't a question, and Cloud's only answer was a long sigh.

"Do I…have other family? Parents? Sisters, brothers…?" Tifa asked.

"No. You're an only child. And your parents died a long time ago."

"Oh." Tifa turned back around to face him, wrapping her arms around her legs. "What about your family?"

"Dead. I was an only child, too."

"How did they die?"

Cloud took a deep breath. "It's a long story."

"Do you have time to tell it?"

Cloud nodded. Talking about his past--about Tifa's past--was not exactly something he had been looking forward to, but if it could help her, and if it could help her remember, then he would do it. "Do you know anything about Sephiroth?"

Tifa's eyes lit up in recognition. "He was a SOLDIER. An amazing one."

"That's all you know?"

"Yes. I remember things like that. SOLDIER, Shinra, Mako energy--they're all part of the knowledge that I still have access to in my memory."

"What about the WRO?"

"The what?"

Cloud frowned slightly. "Maybe your personal experiences are tied too closely with the WRO to know…" He paused, gathering his thoughts and trying to figure out the best way to start. "One day Sephiroth and another SOLDIER were checking on a Mako reactor in a village, and…Sephiroth went crazy."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he went completely insane. He burned down the village and killed pretty much everyone. There was a girl who lived there…she confronted him and almost ended up dead because of it. But she got away, and went on to fight against Shinra and Sephiroth." Slowly, carefully, he told her bits of her own life, talking about how she had become an expert martial artist, how she had joined a resistance group AVALANCHE and how AVALANCHE fought Shinra. He told her about Meteor, and the fallout that came afterward. Somehow it was easier presenting her history to her from the third person. Maybe it would be easier for her to process it, too.

Tifa was quiet after he finished explaining about Meteor, her eyes dark. "She couldn't have been the only survivor from her village," she said softly. "There was a boy who grew up there, too, and she married him."

Cloud's eyes met hers directly, and something passed between them--some flash of sympathy or understanding, some kind of connection, however brief, that had been missing since Tifa first woke up. "He was a stupid kid," Cloud said. "He tried to join SOLDIER so he could prove himself to her. So he could protect her."

"Tried to join?"

"He was a failure." Cloud's gaze drifted to the window. "He was a failure at a lot of things, but she never seemed to think so. When he joined AVALANCHE after she hadn't seen him in years, they started to grow close. When he lost sight of who he was, she helped him find himself again. After Meteor, they built a home and tried to pretend they were a family."

"They weren't?"

"There was still a lot of baggage in the way. He ran away."

"He must have found his way back," Tifa prodded.

Cloud's eyes went back to her. "She talked some sense into him. It wasn't easy. They were a broken family, full of shattered pieces, but…they had each other."

There was a sheen in Tifa's eyes that looked suspiciously like tears, but when she blinked, it was gone. "They sound like very fortunate people."

"Yeah."

:--:--:--:--:

Every day Tifa woke up frantically going back over her memories of the previous days to make sure she still had them. Then again, if she had lost them, how would she know? Dr. Anglo, however, questioned her thoroughly every day and assured her that she was still holding onto all her new memories, solidifying his belief that she probably did not suffer from anterograde amnesia.

The doctor suggested that she keep a journal of anything she learned about her life, or anything she might remember, no matter how insignificant it seemed. If she knew a timeframe, she could organize it that way, and maybe the pieces of her life would fall into place a bit at a time. Tifa mentioned that to Cloud on one of his visits, and he asked her if she wanted to do that. She said yes, and asked if she had any journals at home.

"You never really kept a journal," he told her. "I'll get you one." And the next time he came to see her, he brought with him a plain black journal, which he silently presented her.

Aside from Cloud, Tifa received several other visitors. She met Barret, the huge man with a prosthetic gun arm, who talked to her a bit about Marlene and Denzel. "Marlene's feelin' a lot better. I'll be headin' out when you're ready to come home, Tifa. I get the feelin' you'n Spiky'll need your space. An' Marlene--she needs you. I think you need some one-on-one with her, too."

Tifa had a visit from a pleasant woman named Shera, and with her came her husband Cid. Tifa's first thought was that she had never heard anyone curse as much as Cid did, and then she wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry when she realized the only people she had to compare him to were the ones she had met in the past days.

She had a brief visit from a quiet, strange man with long black hair, red eyes, and an equally red cape. It was after Vincent left that she realized she'd had some very strange friends. This belief was further solidified when she met the four-legged Nanaki.

Yuffie stopped by twice, but her visits were brief because she was apparently helping a lot in the aftermath of the destruction of the school. The first time she brought a small girl named Shelke with her. Shelke wished her a speedy recovery--or rather, said something along the lines of, "I wish you a successful endeavor in the recovery of your memories," to which Yuffie rolled her eyes and said, "Geez, Shelke, can you be any more of a robot?" Only later did Tifa find out that Shelke wasn't actually a child, but an adult stuck looking like one. It was rather confusing.

The second time Yuffie came, she was only there for a few minutes before she was called away again, but as she left, she said, "I'll see you soon, Tifa. I'm still coming over for dinner--I know you don't remember, but I was supposed to come over the day you ended up here. No worries, I'll cook, okay?"

She received so many flowers and get-well cards from people that her room was beginning to look like a florist's shop. It was only when Cloud sat down with her and helped her sort through all the notes and names that she really discovered how well-known she was. Most of the people who sent her gifts she apparently didn't know, but Cloud set aside the ones she did and explained to her who they were. A lot of them were regular customers from Seventh Heaven. Elmyra, he said, was an old friend. Reeve was the commissioner of the WRO. Some very gaudy flowers with an equally gaudy card, Cloud said in a resigned tone, were from the Turks.

Tifa was beginning to go stir-crazy stuck in the hospital. She began walking around the eighth floor to keep from going completely insane. One afternoon, she was walking the hallway when she heard the muffled cries of a child coming from an open door. Frowning, she looked around but didn't see any medical staff in plain sight. She hesitated only a moment before stepping cautiously through the door. "Hello?"

There was a girl with dark hair propped up on the hospital bed, looking terribly small in the middle of it. Both of her legs were suspended in casts that ran all the way up to her hips, and at her side was a worn-out Moogle doll.

The girl sniffled and wiped her face, but her crying didn't stop. She blinked in Tifa's direction. "Tifa?"

"Yes?" Tifa said cautiously.

The girl wiped her face again. "It's okay. Denzel said you don't remember anything."

Tifa knew then who the child was. "Are you Aria?" At the girl's nod, Tifa stepped farther into the room. "Are you in pain?"

More tears spilled down the girl's face. "No, it's not bad. I-I just want to go home. But I know when I do, a lot of the kids I lived with will be gone." She sniffled once, took a deep breath, and her tears finally stopped.

Tifa had been given some idea of how much death the kids in Edge had seen, thanks to battles and Geostigma, among other things, and her heart ached. It couldn't be easy. It shouldn't be easy; if witnessing horrors ever became easy than she would fear for what the children might become.

"I'll be okay," Aria said. "I get to go home in three more days. And Denzel and Izzi are coming to see me this afternoon. They're sneaking me some candy from Mr. Tamoya's shop." Then her forehead creased. "Don't tell the doctors? They don't like outside food brought in here."

Tifa twisted her fingers over her lips, indicating her silence. "I won't tell anyone. Do you want some company for a little while, until they get here?"

Aria hesitated briefly before saying, "That would be nice."

Tifa spent an hour with the girl, and in the process, learned quite a few interesting things about Denzel and some of the scrapes he had gotten into. She suspected that Aria was only telling her the ones that Tifa was already supposed to know, which she found rather amusing.

When Denzel and his friend Izzi arrived at the hospital, they both looked surprised to find Tifa in Aria's room. "I checked your room, but you weren't there," Denzel told Tifa.

"We were just talking," Aria told him, and she smiled at Tifa.

"I guess I'll leave you three to visit." Tifa returned Aria's smile, and then included the boys in it. As she walked out of the room, Izzi's voice stopped her from behind.

"Tifa? I--I just never got a chance to say thank you. For saving my life. I'm--I'm sorry you don't remember anything."

"That's not your fault," she told him gently.

Izzi looked at his feet before nodding once, and then he ran back into Aria's room.

Tifa had been in the hospital for five days--though two of them she had been unconscious--before Dr. Anglo finally told her he was releasing her the next morning. It was a relief. She might be walking into the unknown, but she was ready to face it. She was sick of the hospital. "I want you back here in two weeks just for a check-up; I've already scheduled the appointment for you," he said.

The next morning, Cloud came to the hospital with Denzel and Marlene. Marlene was much more awake and alert than she had been when Tifa first met her, and she walked in on her own two feet, though Cloud watched her just as cautiously.

"You look like you're feeling a little better," Tifa told her.

"It doesn't hurt as much when I cough or breathe," Marlene said. "And I can move around better."

Cloud and Denzel loaded Tifa's bag and a bunch of the flowers into the car while Tifa signed the paperwork so she could leave. She was given an appointment slip to remind her to be back in two weeks, and then she followed her family out the hospital doors.

It was freezing outside, especially on her legs, but Tifa stopped and took a deep breath. It was much better than the hospital smell. "Does it snow a lot here?" she asked as Cloud opened a car door for her. The kids were already buckled in, squished between a multitude of flowers. She slid into the car, carefully avoiding crushing the plants on the floor.

"Sometimes during the winter," Cloud said. "It's been cold all week, but it's only snowed twice."

Seventh Heaven wasn't far from the hospital, but Tifa took in everything they passed. When Cloud parked in front of the building clearly labeled with the bar's name on it, she slowly opened her door and looked around while both kids clambered out of the car.

"This is Seventh Heaven," Marlene said, taking Tifa's hand in hers. "Lots and lots of people come here. Some people come by themselves and some families come for lunch or dinner. There's not usually trouble 'cause everyone knows you'll throw them right out. And they're scared of Cloud's swords," she added thoughtfully.

"I--see."

"Do you want to come inside now?" Marlene asked.

"Yes." With Marlene still holding firmly to her hand, Tifa took a step toward the door, to a life both old and new.

Chapter Text

Cloud could not say that there had been one particular moment that led up to this instant. There had certainly been a lot of times and decisions that had stood out in his mind and brought him here. Deciding to build a house with Tifa after Meteor, deciding to come home after the Geostigma crisis, deciding to tell her he loved her. Listening to her tell him he couldn’t try to protect her from himself, seeing her infinite patience and her constant, unwavering willingness to stay by his side no matter what. All of those moments, and others, stood out like landmarks in his memory. Those moments and some time brought him gradually to the place where he now stood.

It was a cold, snowy November day, and when he got home, he found Tifa sitting outside on the front stoop, her legs held out in front of her as snow fell on her bare feet. He knew she couldn't have been sitting out there for more than a few minutes. As he turned off Fenrir and listened to the engine ticking as it cooled, Tifa watched him with a welcoming smile on her face. "Hi."

Cloud muttered something like a response and slowly approached her. As soon as he was close enough, she stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Her cheek was a little warmer than his, but not by much. He stood stiffly, his arms having a hard time going back around her. He felt frozen, and not because of the weather.

Part of him said this was not the time or place to do this, that there couldn't be anywhere less romantic, but the other part of him knew that if he tried to set up something special for this, if he waited at all, he might lose his nerve. It had been hard enough making it through his day and dragging himself back home, convincing himself that he could do this.

"Cloud?" Tifa let him go and looked at him with a slight frown. "Are you okay?"

Cloud's voice was still stuck, and Tifa's eyes grew concerned. She lifted one hand and gently brushed it down his cheek. "Cloud?"

Her touch seemed to help finally unlock his voice. "I have something for you." Hurriedly, not sure he really knew what he was doing anymore, he dug into his pocket and pulled out the small object within. "I, um--here." He pressed it into her palm. "I know it's not much. I know--"

"Cloud." Her shocked voice cut him off as she opened her hand and stared at the object within. "It's a ring." Their eyes met, and Cloud could read a mixture of disbelief and hope in Tifa's.

"Tifa, I--" He was so bad at this. He wasn't her knight in shining armor. He never had been. He came with baggage and insecurities; he wasn't anybody's hero. But…but he wanted to make Tifa happy, and he knew if he spent his whole life holding her at arm's length while trying to be close to her, he was going to tear them both to shreds. Ultimately, he had finally, finally realized that putting them both through that wasn't worth any potential dangers that being together could bring. He took a deep, steadying breath, not moving his eyes from hers because they were grounding him and giving him what he needed to ask his question. "Marry me?" he whispered. His heart was pounding; this was one of the most terrifying and exhilarating choices he had ever made.

Tifa jumped onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck and nearly making him topple over backwards. He found his footing on the slippery ground and held tightly to her. Her bare toes skimmed the snow and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears when she looked at him. "Yes. Yes, yes, yes."

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Seven - Photographs and Recipes

Cloud silently unlocked and opened the front door, and Tifa followed the kids into the building, slowly taking in the bar: the booths, chairs, stools, the gleaming counter and shelf of alcohol, and the pictures all over the walls. It wasn't exactly what she pictured when she thought of a bar, and she had to admit she was glad for that. It was a lot cleaner than she had imagined. Pleasant, even, and it had a nice, lived-in sort of look.

There was something about the smell of the place that stirred a brief nostalgia, but no memories surfaced. The doctor had told her that sense of smell could be the strongest trigger for a memory, but nothing had yet come to mind for any particular scents. She hoped they would. She hoped anything would resurface, even if it was just a wisp of a memory, so she'd know she had some hope of finding her lost memories again. She'd had many times these past days when she'd had to wonder if her memories really stood a chance of returning. It seemed as if they had just been completely erased, but she had to believe that she stood a chance of finding them again. She had to hold out that hope, however distant it seemed.

While Cloud and the kids watched, she moved around the bar, looking at things more closely. The pictures on the walls here were purely decorative--no photographs of people.

"We'll wait here and let you look around," Cloud said, ushering the children into one of the booths.

Tifa flashed him a brief, tense smile. It did make it a little easier to poke around the house without feeling even guiltier about not knowing the place when she could do it by herself.

Right off of the bar were the kitchen and a small living room with a couch, several chairs, and end tables. There was a larger, very low table in the middle of the room with cushions on the floor around it. It was warm and colorful, with decorative throw pillows and some soft blankets draped over the chairs. There were also a few photographs here--a large family photo of her, Cloud, Marlene, and Denzel, and then several of Marlene and Denzel. She looked for a long moment at the family photo; the photographic image of her looked so very happy. It was an incredibly strange experience, like looking into the eyes of a stranger that wore her face.

The stairs led up to the main living area, and the walls of the stairwell were covered in photographs. She looked at each and every one on her way up the steps. There were more family photos, and others that were pictures of friends. She recognized faces of the people who had come to visit her in the hospital, but there were some that she didn't know.

It was still the oddest sensation to see herself in the photographs, laughing or smiling, arms around her kids or standing with Cloud. There was one photograph that looked like someone had captured a completely candid moment, where she was standing in front of Cloud while his arms were snugly around her shoulders. He was looking down at her with a slight smile on his lips and her eyes were closed as she leaned against his shoulder. She touched it gently, blinking away tears that were trying to form. Taking a deep breath, she continued up, looking at photos of Marlene and Denzel at various ages. She smiled at a picture of Marlene grinning and revealing two missing front teeth.

She was only halfway up the stairs when she saw the picture that made her freeze in her tracks. It was a wedding photo. There she was in a simple white dress, and beside her was Cloud in equally simple pants and shirt. Tifa was beaming up at him with a look of pure joy, and Cloud had a smile on his face that somehow managed to be completely happy and slightly shy at the same time.

He had a wonderful smile.

Somehow that picture was the catalyst for everything her eyes had been telling her in all of these photographs. It made it real. Yes, she knew she was married, yes, she was wearing a wedding ring, but these pictures, especially this one, were proof that she had been--was supposed to be--in love with the man downstairs.

She gently touched the photograph before tearing her eyes away from it and moving onto the next, this a picture of Yuffie standing next to the tall, cloaked Vincent, holding two fingers up behind his head.

When she finally reached the top of the stairs, she was more than a little overwhelmed at the history she had just passed through. Her history, laid out on the walls. She took a deep breath before exploring the rooms on the second floor. The first room was obviously an office of some sort. There was a desk full of papers, a phone, some knickknacks, and several photographs--one family photo, but in this one Cloud was standing slightly apart from her and the kids, and one that was a group photo of all the friends she had met at the hospital, minus Shera. A lot of the paper slips read Strife Delivery Service.

The next room was Marlene's--it had to be, with the excess of pink and fluffy stuffed animals. Drawings were tacked all over the wall, and her desk was organized neatly with paper, colored pencils, crayons, and paint.

Denzel's room was next, a simple room of blue and green with a few decorations on the walls. His room was a little messier than Marlene's, but seemed to have its own organization about it.

There was a guest room, a bathroom, and then a room that had to be hers and Cloud's. She stared at the large bed and wondered if she was going to be expected to sleep beside Cloud. They were married, after all. What about--

Calm down, she told herself firmly. No one can expect you to just pick right up with--with everything.

There were a few more photographs in here, and she looked at these, too, before moving onto the rest of the room. She felt strange about poking into drawers and dressers. She told herself that this was her room and her dressers--well, hers and Cloud's, but it just unfamiliar. Everything was unfamiliar. She decided she would at least look in the drawers to explore her clothes a little more thoroughly. She found a mixture of shirts, pants, and a few skirts of various colors. Her underwear, she was just as embarrassed to see, was mostly practical, but there were definitely enough that were not. She shut that drawer quickly and opened the next one. This one held gloves--numerous gloves, some with metal knuckles or knuckles with some kind of crystal, some with spikes, some just plain. They smelled of leather and this, too, was a scent that taunted the edges of her mind with familiarity, but she still couldn't recall any memories that went with the smell.

Tifa lifted one of the spiked gloves out of the drawer and ran her fingers over the long claws poking out. She knew she was--had been--a martial arts expert, but she was a little discomfited at these particular gloves. Had she gone around impaling people during fights? Is this who she was? Wife, mother, impaler of villains?

Breathing a sigh, she tucked the glove carefully back in the drawer and walked back down the stairs, pausing briefly to again look at the smile Cloud wore in the wedding photo. Proof that at least at one point, she had made him happy--and judging from her own expression, the feelings had been mutual.

Cloud, Denzel, and Marlene were talking quietly in the bar, but their voices stopped the instant she entered the room. She experienced an uncomfortable pause, and then Cloud stood up. "Are you hungry?"

"I am," Denzel said.

"Me, too," Marlene piped up.

All eyes turned to Tifa. "I am a little hungry. Um, can I help?"

"There's not much to do. Shera made meals for the whole week. I just have to pull one out of the freezer and warm it up," Cloud explained.

"That was awfully nice of her."

"Mm." Cloud nodded and headed for the kitchen. "Sit down, Tifa. I'll take care of it."

Tifa hesitated a moment before sitting down at the booth with the kids, and Marlene smiled at her. "I'm glad Shera made us food. Cloud can't really cook," she whispered.

"He can make eggs," Denzel said. "And really good funnel cakes."

"And coffee, but that's not really a food. I can make coffee," Marlene replied.

For the first time since setting foot in Seventh Heaven, Tifa found a genuine smile spreading across her face. The kids' acceptance of her in the midst of a situation difficult for all of them helped her more than anything else could have at this point, except for the return of her memories. "I see." She leaned over the table and whispered, "What about my cooking?"

"You can cook anything," Marlene said adamantly. "You make the food that we sell here for lunch and dinner." Then she frowned curiously. "Can you remember how to cook?"

Tifa gave a frown of her own. "I…think I could do it. I can remember some recipes, at least."

"I can show you where everything is in the kitchen so you can see your recipes, and I can tell you what we don't like to eat." Then Marlene's smile faltered a bit and she almost looked like she would say something else, but she shook her head slightly.

The afternoon was very strange, almost like walking through a weird dream that she couldn't quite figure out. Mostly, Tifa tried to familiarize herself with her home. She poked through the kitchen to learn where everything was--without Marlene's help, because the girl had started to get sore, and Cloud had given her some pain medicine and sentenced her to rest. Marlene went into the living room to lie down on the couch, a book in hand.

Tifa gathered up all the recipe books and cards in the kitchen and carried them into the living room. Cloud and Denzel were kneeling on the floor in front of the low table. At first Tifa thought they were playing a game of some sort, but then realized they were looking over papers--a stack of the slips bearing Strife Delivery Service, she noticed.

"Will you sit with me for a little while?" Marlene asked her quietly.

Tifa looked at Marlene's pleading eyes and thought she saw some uncertainty there. She understood the uncertainty. "Sure." She sat on the end of the couch, the bottoms of Marlene's feet resting gently against her leg, and set the recipes on the floor in front of her within easy reach. It was strangely comfortable, feeling Marlene's toes curling against her, listening to the low voices of Cloud and Denzel. She could, in that moment, really see how she might have fit in here before. A glimpse, maybe, however brief it was.

She rifled through the recipes, noting that many of them had been marked in what she realized had to be her own handwriting. Some of them had stars next to them, and others had been crossed out with neat little notes that read "absolutely disgusting" or "not worth making again." Some recipes had certain ingredients crossed out and others added in.

Marlene explained to her that the recipes in the book marked 7th Heaven were the ones that Tifa had specifically copied for the bar. "It's the lunch and dinner menu," she said. "We pick out a few to make each day--the ones we have ingredients for, because sometimes different ingredients are hard to get."

Cloud and Denzel were sorting the delivery slips and making notes of who needed to be called back for notification that due to an emergency situation, the business was closed for the moment. It made Tifa wonder how much gil they were losing with both of their businesses closed, and if they could afford it, but she didn't ask. She didn't know if it was quite the right place or moment to start asking about that, even if the bar was her business. She was just struggling to hold her head above water and sort out being there.

By the time she was done flipping through a lot of the recipes, Marlene had fallen asleep. Tifa stood and carefully pulled the book from Marlene's slack hands, setting it on an end table. She picked up a blanket and draped it over the sleeping child, then stood looking at her for a moment. She felt eyes on her, and glanced briefly at Cloud, who was watching her. She searched his eyes before turning away and gathering up the recipes. She was carrying them back to the kitchen when someone started knocking on the front door. She paused, unsure as to whether she should answer it, but before she could decide, Cloud strode past her and out into the bar. Tifa hesitated only a moment before following him to see who was at the front door.

"Vincent," Cloud stepped aside, letting the cloaked man inside. Vincent's red eyes swept over Cloud and Tifa, and then focused on Cloud.

"Cloud. We may have information on the attack on the school."

Chapter Text

"Forget being a slow roasted dinner." Yuffie shook her head in disbelief. "You guys are more like a frozen meal that hasn't even been taken out of the freezer! You've been engaged for two months already! You're getting married in a month, and you're still not even sleeping in the same room!?"

"I really don't see how that's any concern of yours," Tifa said mildly.

Yuffie, of course, didn't care and plunged onward, "I know things have been kinda crazy, what with Deepground going off the deep end--" here she chuckled at her own perceived joke "--and you had Shelke staying with you, and gawd, she could kill a party dead before it could even blink, but you two haven't even started the party!"

Cloud buried his head in his hands, not even considering explaining anything to Yuffie. He hadn't even tried to explain to Tifa why, during their three month engagement, he wasn't having sex with her. He could try to put it to the insanity of their lives--the Omega crisis had definitely put a damper on things for a while--but now that life was settling back to normal again, he knew that was just an excuse.

Maybe he was standing in his own way. It wouldn't be the first time. There as just that part of Cloud that couldn't quite believe that something this good could really happen to him. That he was going to get married to Tifa was like a distant dream that had always seemed just out of reach and even now, it somehow still didn't feel real. He wondered if it would even feel real when he was standing at the altar with her. And he needed to know it was real, needed to prove to Tifa that he could give her that before he could risk--

Risk what?

Yes, he was still worried about what all the experimentation done on him as a teenager might do to Tifa. Jenova cells and Mako infusions and who knew what else Hojo had tried on him.

But…

Ultimately, he just didn't want to take everything from Tifa until he had given her forever in the only way he could. He felt contaminated. Tifa…Tifa had always been everything good and beautiful in his life. Though she had been through her own hell, she had been the anchor in his life, always there for him no matter what he put her through.

And he felt unworthy. All his life, it seemed that everything he touched started to fall apart. He didn't want to break Tifa (which was stupid, because she had more strength than anyone he knew) and he didn't want to taint her (which made no sense because she had willingly taken his darkness before and dragged it into her light).

It might not have made much sense. If he had tried to explain it to Tifa, she might not have understood it, either, but she didn't ask and it didn't seem to matter. He had never seen her so happy. To know that he was the source of such happiness was something foreign to him. He was so used to making her sad or disappointed.

How long could it really last?

He tried not to ask that question, but he couldn't always stop it from invading his mind. There were some nights when he went to bed assured in his decisions and confident in his place with Tifa, and others where he lay awake wondering what the hell he was doing and if he would screw this up too, if he would make her more miserable than ever before.

"You have to stop trying to protect me from yourself."

If only it was just that easy. Fears did not always go away easily, and more often than not, Cloud's fears had to be dragged away kicking, screaming, and stabbing him repeatedly in their final moments. He had learned to deal with them, to peel them away one at a time and to fight on in spite of them, or sometimes because of them.

So as every day brought them closer to their wedding, he fought through doubts and uncertainties both old and new…but he fought for Tifa. He would always fight for her--even if the battle was with himself.

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Eight - Recollection

"We found a scale as we were clearing the school site," Vincent explained. "We believe it may have come from the monster that attacked. The lab at the WRO just finished analyzing it." He pulled a piece of paper out of his cloak and presented it to Cloud.

Curious, Tifa walked over next to Cloud to peer at the paper. It was half a page of information. A lot of it didn't make sense, but she caught sight of "Jenova cells," and that, at least, was familiar. "Wait--Jenova cells were what caused Geostigma," she said slowly, recalling what she had learned about the disease.

"The analysis of that scale showed an odd genetic structure, one that included Jenova cells," Vincent said.

Tifa frowned in confusion. "Is it normal for a monster to have Jenova cells?"

"It can be. Jenova cells have been used in a lot of experiments over the years," Vincent said. "They were also spread during Meteor, which is how we ended up with Geostigma. Even now, there are many people who have inactive Jenova cells within them. When the Stigma was cured, the Jenova cells were essentially deactivated, but they still remain in the bodies of the victims. That's why Deepground wasn't interested in those who had previously suffered Geostigma."

Tifa's brow furrowed more deeply. "Deepground?"

Vincent exchanged glances with Cloud, who turned to her. "Deepground was an organization that we helped bring down last year. They were capturing and killing people with 'untainted' blood. We took Marlene, Denzel, and some of the other kids in Edge and moved them to safety before Deepground ended up attacking here."

"We aren't sure what any of what we've learned means at this point, but there might be more going on here than a random monster attack," Vincent said. "In fact, I find it highly doubtful that a monster would fly into Edge to attack one building and then fly away."

"Probably not a normal monster, anyway," Cloud agreed.

Vincent nodded. "We're still working on the investigation."

"Thanks for keeping us informed," Cloud said. "Let me know if there's anything I can do."

A phone started ringing, and Vincent pulled one out of his cloak. He looked at it in resignation. "I will," he said to Cloud, and he turned to go out the door, answering his phone as he left. Tifa heard him say, "Yuffie. I told you--" before the door shut on his voice.

There was a heavy silence as Cloud and Tifa looked at each other. Tifa had no idea what to say--she felt entirely out of her element. Probably because she really didn't know what her element was.

She was saved from finding words when Denzel called, "Cloud, I can't get into the laundry room! The delivery people left all those boxes in front of it yesterday and they're still there."

Laundry room? Tifa hadn't seen a laundry room on her exploration of the house. She followed Cloud toward Denzel's voice and found him standing next to the kitchen with an armful of laundry, where a stack of boxes full of who-knew-what had been resting all day. She had assumed they were something for the bar. As soon as Cloud moved the topmost box, she saw the door behind it. She went to help Cloud move all of the boxes out to the bar counter. "What are these?"

"Bar supplies. I pick up a lot of things when I'm out on deliveries, but some things we order in bulk."

As soon as the boxes were cleared out of the way, Cloud opened the laundry room door, which gave a squeak of protest, and Tifa was tempted to echo the noise when she saw the disaster inside. She was almost glad she hadn't seen this mess earlier. Stacks of laundry were overflowing out of a basket and halfway across the floor. Denzel stepped inside and dropped his armful onto the stack. "I guess we should do laundry soon, huh?" Denzel asked. "I don't have any clean shirts left."

Tifa blinked twice, still staring at the heaps of clothes, and Cloud scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't really think about…all this." He snatched up random clothes and started shoving them into the washing machine.

Tifa didn't blame him; they'd all obviously had other things on their minds. "I can help with it." It would give her something to keep her occupied, to make her feel somewhat useful. And some of them were probably hers, too.

There was another door on the opposite side of the laundry room, and while Cloud got the washing machine going, she opened it and discovered a garage. The car she had ridden in earlier was sitting inside--Cloud must have moved it there when she was exploring upstairs. There was also a large motorcycle, several workbenches, tools, and she even saw a punching bag sitting in one corner. She wondered if it had been hers.

She turned to see Cloud watching her. "Are there any other parts of the house I might have missed?"

She was only half-joking, but Cloud looked at her seriously. "Yes, but not because the doors were hidden by boxes." He motioned for her to follow him. Bemused, she closed the garage door and went with him into the living room, where Marlene was still asleep on the couch. "There are two doors hidden in the house, one upstairs in my office, one downstairs in here. They both lead to a tunnel that will take you out into the alley behind the building next door," Cloud explained. He pushed on the wooden wall on the far side of the living room, and suddenly a door seemed to appear out of nowhere, cracking open on the wall.

Tifa stared, and then stepped closer, examining the door more carefully. It was just cut to blend in with the woodwork on the wall perfectly. Cloud pushed it closed, where it blended perfectly back into the wall, and then showed her the exact place she had to press to get the door release to trigger open. "Once inside, you just pull the handle in there to close it."

Tifa opened it again and peered into the doorway. The floor went on for about a meter, and then dropped into a hole with a ladder. The hole went upward, too, and when she looked up she saw the ladder continued that direction--probably to the hidden door in Cloud's office.

If the fighting gloves and the stories about the dangers in her past hadn't been enough, this was another realization of the sort of life she had lived. Did normal people need to have hidden escape routes from their house?

"Have we ever had to use this?" Tifa asked apprehensively, hastily stepping out of the tunnel and letting Cloud shut it once more.

"No. But it's good to have just in case."

Cloud took Tifa upstairs and showed her the trip release on the wall that opened a trapdoor on the floor of his office, and she watched numbly.

Her life had been insane.

No, her life was insane. She had no sense of equilibrium. One moment the discussion was monster attacks and Jenova cells, then it jumped to dirty laundry, and then was twisting around to hidden passageways.

Tifa rubbed her temples. Her head hurt, either because of the strangeness and tension or just because her brain had been bruised. She'd had headaches off and on, and the doctor had told her that was to be expected. Either way, she was tempted to just go lie down for a while. She was…overwhelmed.

Any notion of taking a nap to drown out her headache--and possibly her confusion--disappeared when a bloodcurdling scream came from downstairs. It was a sound that pierced Tifa straight to the core, one that had her feet racing down the stairs right behind Cloud before she had consciously decided to go that way. She entered the living room right on his heels to find Marlene clutching the blanket Tifa had draped over her, sobbing horrifically.

Denzel ran in just behind them and stopped next to Tifa as Cloud dropped down on the ground next to the couch. Marlene flung her arms around him. She was speaking into his shoulder, tearful mumbles that Tifa couldn't hear.

Tifa was frozen to the spot, seeing the scene taking place in front of her with only a vague sort of awareness, because her mind was suddenly somewhere else entirely.

It was nighttime in Edge, and Tifa was lying on her bed in the framework of the building that would soon be the new Seventh Heaven. It had been a long day of work for her, Cloud, and Barret. Even little Marlene had worn herself out bringing water for people to drink, helping Tifa make sandwiches, and fetching tools. She was sound asleep next to Tifa, her short brown hair framing her face. It was comforting to have Marlene's warm little body pressed against her side, to see her chest steadily rising and falling. Reassuring. The times when Tifa wondered if any good had really come from all the battles she had participated in, all of the lives that had been destroyed because of Shinra's retribution against AVALANCHE, she could look at Marlene and see the innocence of one child who was still alive and find some consolation.

She wasn't sure how long she had been lying there, watching the child sleep, before Marlene's face scrunched up and she began to stir. Tifa was not unfamiliar with nightmares--not her own and not Marlene's. During the day it was easy to chase the shadows to a hidden corner of the mind, but at night, sometimes the shadows came out to play.

Tifa brushed her fingers over Marlene's forehead, hoping the soothing gesture would drive out whatever shadows were darkening her mind. For a minute, she thought it had worked, but then Marlene's eyes snapped open and she screamed and flailed. It was a moment before she was conscious enough to realize where she was. Crying, she buried her face against Tifa, who whispered soothingly to her and stroked her hair.

Marlene calmed down quickly, as she always did. "Tifa?"

"Mm?"

"Why--why did so many people have to die?"

Tifa held Marlene tightly. It was a question she had asked herself numerous times, and she wasn't sure she would ever find a satisfactory answer. Finally, quietly, she said, "People die for a lot of reasons. Sometimes a lot of people die when others are trying to stop something very bad from happening."

"You mean like stopping Sephiroth?"

"Yes." The silence weighed long and heavy before Tifa said softly, "Sadness was the price to see it end."

Tifa blinked rapidly to find Marlene still clinging tightly to Cloud, her tears swiftly abating. But the memory--it was still there, and with it were the emotions she had felt during it. She remembered being content in having her daughter sleeping next to her. She remembered aching for Marlene, for everything she had witnessed at such a young age. She remembered. Not much, and it hadn't exactly been a happy memory, but it was something.

She wanted to start crying in relief right then and there--it was a dash of hope for her that she really could start recalling some of her life, that maybe more memories would follow this one.

Marlene let go of Cloud and sank back onto the couch with a trembling sigh. Denzel plopped down beside her and said something to her in a low voice, and she nodded.

Cloud watched them for a moment, and then stood and walked over to Tifa, who was still frozen in the doorway. He took one glance at her face and said, "Tifa? Are you okay?"

She opened her mouth, but before she could reply, there was a sudden thumping and clanging noise coming from the laundry room. It didn't take long to see why. When she and Cloud looked into the laundry room, it was to find the washing machine shuddering and shaking so hard that it had moved halfway across the room…which was now covered in frothy pink bubbles that were still foaming and pouring out of the washing machine.

Cloud hurried through the bubbles to turn the machine off, a look of frustration on his face. "Damn it." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out. He grabbed a mop hanging off the wall and proceeded to try to mop up the bubbles, but there were too many of them, and all he ended up doing was pushing them around more on the floor.

"Here." Tifa stepped into the laundry room, careful not to slip on the soapy floor, and gently tugged the mop from his hand.

"Wow!" Denzel exclaimed, peering in at them with wide eyes. "Well…guess our laundry will be really clean now. I'm gonna get some dinner for me and Marlene, okay, Cloud?" Without waiting for a response, he pulled away from the door and could be heard rummaging in the kitchen.

"Will you open the garage door for me?" Tifa asked, and when Cloud did, she began to push the bubbles out there, where she could spread them more easily over the ground.

Cloud pushed the washing machine back into place, then stared at it. "Now what? If I turn it back on we'll have the same problem."

Tifa frowned. "Maybe if we take all the laundry out of it and rinse it off in the sink before putting it back in the washing machine..."

Cloud silently opened the lid, and as he pulled out a handful of clothes, Tifa suddenly realized why all the bubbles were pink. Every piece of clothing that was a light color was stained or splattered a very pale shade of pink. When she saw the bright red shirt in Cloud's hand and the horrified expression on his face, she couldn't help it. She started giggling. Cloud stared at her as if she'd gone crazy, and that only made her laugh harder.

"Well," she said when she'd managed to get a grip on herself. "I guess we have some work cut out for us."

Cloud shook his head. "You don't have to help with this. It's my mess."

"I don't mind." Tifa grabbed a handful of stained laundry out of the wash and dropped it in the large sink in the laundry room. "It will help keep me busy."

Cloud didn't argue, and they worked in silence for several minutes, rinsing the soapy laundry thoroughly before dropping it back into the washing machine. As they worked, Tifa glanced sideways at him. She couldn't tell what he was thinking; his face was so hard to read and he wasn't looking at her so she couldn't see anything of his eyes. It was difficult, not knowing him enough--or rather, not remembering him to know him enough--to tell if he was angry or frustrated or anything else. She didn't know what kinds of things made him upset or sad or happy at all.

"So…" she said slowly, rinsing out a small pink-streaked gray shirt. "I…um…I remembered something."

Cloud froze beside her and turned to face her. Then she could see his eyes, which were wide and somehow both guarded and hopeful. "When?"

"When Marlene was screaming. I remembered--well, I remembered her having a nightmare." Tifa hesitated a moment, and then told him about it. "So…I found one memory. Maybe...maybe I can find more."

Cloud's eyes searched hers for a moment, and she offered him a tiny, hopeful smile. And for the first time since she had first laid eyes on him after waking up in the hospital, he smiled back.

Chapter Text

"Damn it, Cloud, the least you can do is smile!" Cid called from his seat on the back lawn of his house.

When Shera had offered to host Cloud and Tifa's wedding in her backyard, they had taken her up on the offer. Tifa said she didn't care where they got married and she didn't want a big, fancy wedding. Yuffie had told them that they could get married in Wutai. Between that and Rocket Town, Cloud was all for Cid and Shera's.

Cid continued to yell at Cloud, "Tifa's actually marrying your sorry ass; shit, that'd be enough to make most men--"

"SHHH! It's almost time!" Yuffie smacked Cid on the back of his head from her position directly behind him. "Besides, like you're one to talk. At your wedding--OH! It's time! Everyone be quiet!" Yuffie bounced excitedly in her chair, not paying any attention to the fact that she was the one making all the noise.

Cloud was completely frozen as he watched Marlene and Denzel come out of the house, both of them beaming, and make their way down the aisle between the chairs to where Cloud was waiting. They stood on the far side of him, and Marlene whispered to Cloud, "Tifa's so beautiful."

Then Tifa herself was coming out of the house, barefoot and dressed in a simple white gown, and Cloud's heart was pounding so loudly in his chest that it was making it difficult to breathe. It was a moment of terrifying exhilaration--or maybe exhilarating terror. But as soon as her eyes met his, when he saw her radiant smile and the utter happiness on her face, everything else faded and all he could think about was how much he loved her.

He had fought through so much to get to this day, and when Tifa stopped beside him, mouthing the words, "I love you," he knew that every painful step, every time he had doubted and feared…it had all been worth the fight. Even that morning when he'd been a pacing, frantic mess, he had not entertained thoughts at all about running away. He hadn't even needed his friends' encouragement (Barret had told him that if he hurt Tifa, he would kill him, and Yuffie had told him if he didn't go through with this she would shove her shuriken so far up his ass he'd never be able to go through with anything for the rest of his life).

Reeve, who was officiating the wedding, smiled at both of them. "It's about time," he murmured to them, before raising his voice so everyone could hear him. "Friends, we're here to celebrate a day that we weren't sure would ever come--the marriage of Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart."

Barret whooped and Yuffie just as loudly hissed at him to shut up. Tifa's shoulders shook with suppressed giggles and Cloud grinned, but his eyes were still on Tifa. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he had been right--even now, standing at the altar with her, he couldn't quite believe this was really happening to him.

And right then and there, in front of friends (and a few non-friends who had managed to sneak in anyway--Reno and Rude were lounging in plain sight in the back row of seats), he stood with Tifa's hands in his and made his vows for all to hear. He promised her to stay with her in light or darkness, in trials and celebrations, in pain or in laughter. She promised him the same, and they sealed it with rings on their fingers and a long kiss, which was followed by cheers and applause from their audience.

Cloud only halfway heard the racket his friends were making, because his eyes were still fixed completely on Tifa. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and when she blinked, they slipped down her face. Cloud gently wiped them away and kissed her again. "I love you," he whispered to her.

"I love you." She wrapped her arms around him. Her next words were heartfelt and caught in her throat. "Thank you."

"Hey! Will you two get your asses over here so we can cut the damn cake?" Cid called. "You can take it to a room later! Or take it somewhere else; it's your business wherever you fu--" He stopped abruptly when he realized Marlene and Denzel were both watching him. "Ah, just get over here!"

Tifa's cheeks were tinged pink and Cloud was sure his probably were, too. "Guess we'd better get to it, then," Cloud muttered.

"The cake-cutting or the sex?" Yuffie appeared out of nowhere beside them. "'Cause if you don't cut the cake, I'm just going to start eating it with my fingers. Or maybe forget my fingers and just dive in."

"The cake," Tifa and Cloud said simultaneously.

Yuffie just shook her head. "You guys are really, really sad, ya know? Ah, well. It'll all be fixed tonight! The roast's coming out of the oven! The frozen dinner's almost cooked! The--"

"How fast do you think it would take Yuffie to free herself if we tied her up and threw her in Cid and Shera's closet?" Cloud muttered to Tifa.

"Hey!" Yuffie exclaimed. "I heard that!" Then a smirk spread across her face. "Besides, you don't wanna tie me up. Save the rope. You've got a honeymoon to go on."

Cloud and Tifa ignored her comment and went to cut the cake, and to partake in the age-old ritual of stuffing it into the other person's mouth. As Tifa looked up at him with a smudge of frosting on her nose, her entire face beaming, all he could do was wonder what he had ever done to deserve this moment.

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Chapter Nine - The Space Between Us

Having Tifa back at home was both relieving and incredibly strange. Cloud was struggling but trying not to show it. He had to keep a level head, not only for Tifa and the kids' sakes, but for his own sanity.

He hadn't been sure what to expect of a Tifa who remembered nothing, but as he watched her during her first day home, he grew more assured that she was still Tifa. Seeing her sit with Marlene and cover her with a blanket was all so normal. It was really the moment she took the mop out of his hands and cheerfully offered to help him clean up his laundry disaster that something like relief settled inside of him, because it was exactly what she would have done before. He hadn't realized until then how great his apprehension had been that she might be completely different from the woman he knew and loved.

In fact, his mishap with the laundry turned out to be the best part of his day. Not, obviously, because he ruined clothes, but because Tifa was more relaxed around him than she had been all week. On top of it all, she had actually remembered something. Tifa was still there, in the things she did and said, and now that he knew at least one memory had come forth, he finally, finally allowed himself the hope that she really might be okay. That they might be able to be okay. It was a start.

The rest of the evening went along fairly smoothly, at least at first. Tifa managed to get a lot of the pink out of the clothes by setting aside the red shirt and running the rest of the stained clothing through several hot rinses. She took charge of the laundry after that--the only problem she ran into was when she pulled one of Marlene's sweaters out of the dryer and discovered that it had shrunk. She showed it to Cloud with an expression of horror on her face. "I ruined her shirt!"

Cloud's lips twitched. "At least you only shrank one shirt. I stained an entire load of laundry."

Instead of smiling, Tifa looked more frustrated. "I should have realized. I--" She shook her head.

"Tifa. It's okay."

She didn't look entirely convinced, and she kept at the laundry with determination. While it was going, she then helped Cloud open the boxes of supplies they had moved to the counter earlier. It was comfortable, a task that allowed Tifa to get more familiar with what had always been 'her' space, and for her to talk to Cloud. She avoided asking him any serious questions, but instead just tried to keep a light conversation going. He tried to match her mood and told her a few stories about some of their friends. He made her laugh twice.

Marlene and Denzel spent most of the evening in the living room, playing games or just talking. Marlene was doing a lot better physically, at least; Cloud had only had to give her pain meds once that day. Emotionally, he was sure she was still a wreck. She did her best to hide it; Marlene had always been that way. She had cried off and on that week--the worst of it had been after he had come home from the morgue and had to tell her about her friend Kiri--but she still tried to put on a strong front. She was a lot like Tifa in that respect. Cloud was worried about her, and worried about Denzel--he had just been flat out worried and it did him a lot of good to just get to sit and do something almost-normal with Tifa. Even though he knew it was not at all normal…for just a little bit, he could almost think that it was.

When it came time for the kids to go to bed, Marlene asked Tifa if she would sit with her for a little while, and so Tifa said good night to Denzel and then sat in Marlene's room with her. Cloud could hear their soft voices as he headed back downstairs. Maybe tonight would be one without nightmares, for any of them. He wasn't going to count on it.

He was about to sit down, maybe with a strong shot of alcohol before bed, when he noticed the bag he had brought Tifa in the hospital sitting near the front door, in the middle of all the flowers they'd brought home. Realizing Tifa might have dirty laundry in there, he went to get the bag and carried it into the laundry room, where he began to empty it of clothes. When he reached the bottom, he came out with some of Tifa's lingerie and he blanched. He had put that in the bag and given it to her at the hospital?

Tifa walked into the laundry room at that moment and froze when she saw him holding the underwear, a flush creeping across her cheeks.

Cloud's own face grew hot and he quickly shoved the underwear back into the bag. "I, uh, I…sorry." He shoved the bag into her hands. "I wasn't really paying attention when I--"

Tifa shook her head quickly and held the bag tightly. "It's fine. They're…mine anyway and…" she trailed off.

Awkward . Cloud hated these awkward moments. He had gone through so much with Tifa and with himself to get so far, and these moments were just a reminder of everything he had once dealt with and had never wanted to look at again.

"Um…" Tifa tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm…kind of tired," she said hesitantly.

Here was something else to deal with--something he had avoided thinking about as much as possible during the week, with varying success. Tifa probably wasn't comfortable sharing a bed with someone she didn't remember. And how difficult would it be for him to be next to his wife and not be able to touch her in any way without potentially upsetting her? He hadn't so much as held her hand or given her a hug all week. While at one time it had been Tifa initiating most of their physical contact--a hand on his shoulder, a gentle touch on his cheek--in the months that they had been married, that had changed. He had become completely comfortable with returning such gestures, with holding her hand or grabbing her for a kiss or just wrapping her in his arms.

I don't want to deal with this. It was a reflexive thought, and he grimaced. He didn't have much choice, did he? It wasn't like any of them wanted to deal with it. What was he going to do? Run away from it? No. He had run away from things once, and had promised that he wouldn't do it again.

Bracing himself, he said, "You can sleep in our room. I'll take the guest room."

Tifa big her lip and looked more uncertain. "I…"

"It's okay," Cloud told her, though it obviously wasn't.

Tifa averted her eyes and nodded slightly. "Okay."

They headed upstairs in silence. Cloud grabbed some sweatpants and a shirt from his dresser, took his pillow off their bed, and stepped across the hall toward the guest room. Tifa stood uncertainly in the hallway. "Cloud?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you. For…being patient with me and--and helping me even when this must be…as hard for you."

Cloud turned to face her, his throat dry and thick. He wondered if she would really be thanking him if she remembered all the times she had done the same thing for him. Then he knew that yes, she would. It was Tifa. "You've done the same for me." Realizing how that might have sounded, he added, "I'm not trying to pay a debt or something. You're…we're…" It was so frustrating to wonder how she would react to anything that he said, things that should have been okay for him to say. "I love you."

She studied him for a moment, then hesitantly reached out and touched the back of his hand. "Thank you," she whispered again. "Good night, Cloud."

"'Night, Tifa." He watched her close their bedroom door and leaned against the doorframe of the guest bedroom. Sighing, he closed his eyes and stood there until he found the motivation to drag himself into the guest room. He set his pillow on the bed, changed his clothes, and fell onto the bed.

It was hard. Though he had been sleeping alone all week, this was somehow lonelier than even that had been. Maybe because right now, Tifa was actually just across the hall. Maybe because at least when she hadn't been there, he had been sleeping in their bed. Whatever the reason, he just felt cold and empty as he lay there staring at the ceiling. Had it only been a week ago that they had made love in their bed before falling asleep in each other's arms? It seemed like so much longer.

He could still almost feel where she had just touched his hand. It was the only part of him that felt warm.

:--:--:--:--:

Tifa woke up sometime when it was still dark, blinking in disorientation. It took her a moment to realize where she was: in the bed in Seventh Heaven. She lay still, trying to figure out what had woken her. Maybe she'd just been having a dream or something. Breathing a sigh, she glanced at the bedside clock, which read 3:17. She settled back onto her pillow, trying to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep, but her mind was completely awake.

She stretched her arm across the empty space beside her, the space she knew Cloud was supposed to occupy. She had been worried that she would be expected to sleep next to him, but he hadn't expected it of her. He was sleeping across the hall for her sake, and she…she felt horrible. Would it really have been so terrible to sleep beside him? Maybe it would have been hard, but didn't she have to start somewhere? If she couldn't trust herself, trust the decisions she had made in her past--even if she didn't remember them--then what could she trust? If she had chosen to be with Cloud and to marry him, couldn't she trust him enough to fall asleep next to him?

"I love you." His explanation for his patience and help had been quiet and unassuming--there had been no demands that she love him in return, just an assurance that he loved her, and she had not doubted his words at all. She could see it every time he looked at her.

It hurt her that she couldn't tell him the same thing in return. She was trying to imagine herself in his shoes and what she imagined was just as painful as everything she was going through. She wasn't sure what was worse--having no memories of a love that was supposed to be there, or having the memories when the other person didn't.

Either way, she knew that they were both hurting, and it was because of her. Still, she couldn't change it. She could only move forward while trying to find what had been behind her.

And Cloud…there was still so very much about him that she didn't know. I hope I can find it. Not just hear about it--I hope I can remember it. He seemed like a good man; she had seen it in how he interacted with the kids, and in how he had tried to help her and at the same time, tried to be understanding about the possibility that she might need space.

Groaning, she pulled her pillow over her face. What was she going to do tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that? What did she want to do? She had come here because this was all she had--this house, this business, this family, but did she want it? It was a question she hadn't really asked herself, either because she had been too uncertain or too afraid. She made herself examine it now.

She thought of Marlene and her sweet, open acceptance, of Denzel and his questioning eyes, of Cloud and his patience and care. She pulled up the one memory of her past that she had and she knew that yes, she did want to find herself with this family again. She wanted to be a mother to the children. She wanted to remember all the reasons she had fallen in love with Cloud. And if she couldn’t remember…could she fall in love with him again? Would he still be there for her if it took a while?

She wouldn't know unless she gave herself time, but she wanted that time to find her place here again…not because it was all she had or because it was what she was supposed to do. Because she wanted it. She rather suspected that she just might need it.

By the time the clock read 4:32, she gave up on falling back asleep. She slid out of bed and left the room quietly, thinking that if she couldn't sleep, maybe she could get the last few loads of laundry done before everyone woke up.

Denzel's bedroom door was closed, but Marlene's was open, the small lamp that Cloud had turned on when she fell asleep still glowing in her room. He had told Tifa it might help with her nightmares. Tifa peeked in as she passed and saw Marlene sleeping peacefully, and then continued down the stairs. She saw that the laundry room door was already open, a faint light shining through from the open door to the garage. There was a clanking noise coming from out there. She stepped into the laundry room and peeked into the garage, where a pair of legs--Cloud's, undoubtedly--were sticking out from under the motorcycle.

"Cloud?"

There was a painful sounding thump and a curse from Cloud. He slid out from under the bike, rubbing his forehead ruefully.

Tifa covered her mouth with her hand. "Sorry," she said through her fingers.

Cloud shook his head and grabbed a rag off the ground to wipe his hands. Tifa noticed he had smudged something black across his forehead and pointed at her own forehead. "You, um, having something…"

Denzel was in pain again. He tried not to tell her when he was hurting, never wanting to be a burden to her. Tifa could understand where he was coming from; she knew everything he had been through since his parents died, but she wished that he would tell her when he was hurting this much. Even though she was limited on what she could do, she wanted to be able to try everything she could to ease his pain.

His face was scrunched up in agony, his breathing unsteady as his hands grasped the blankets around him. Tifa wiped a cloth across his forehead, which was oozing black pus, and then smoothed her hand across his cheek, brushing away the tears that were squeezing through his eyelids.

He was dying, and she couldn't make him better. It was so hard, so very hard to watch, but she would always be there, helping him fight in whatever ways she could. But oh, she would have given anything to take his pain away...

Cloud had scrubbed his forehead with the rag and dropped it on the ground before he realized that Tifa was standing still with her eyes wide. "Tifa?"

Tifa touched her forehead with trembling fingers. "Denzel had black pus on his forehead when he was sick."

Cloud's own eyes widened with the realization that she had remembered something else. "Yes."

Tifa closed her eyes tightly. "He was in so much pain." Another memory, she had another memory…

"Yes."

Tifa opened her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm…sorry. I didn't mean to--I just couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I," Cloud said. "I was just doing some tune-ups on Fenrir, now that the weather's staying pretty cold."

His bike was named Fenrir? She eyed the motorcycle. Somehow it seemed fitting. "Oh. Okay. I'm...um..." She pressed her hand to her forehead again, the memory of the blackness on Denzel so fresh and strong in her mind.

"Are you okay?" Cloud asked quietly, his eyes worried.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm just--I'm fine." She was still reeling from the newest addition to her memories. She would have to write it in her journal a little later; she had written down her memory of Marlene having a nightmare in as much detail as she could before going to bed. This was another ambiguous recollection; on the one hand, she was thankful to recall anything, but remembering Denzel in pain was even worse than Marlene's nightmare.

Cloud didn't look convinced, but he didn't press her. Instead, he said, "Do you want some coffee?"

"S-sure."

She felt a little calmer when she smelled the coffee brewing; something about it was just soothing. Cloud sat with her at one of the booths, each of them with a steaming mug, and she slowly relaxed. "Did you sleep at all?" she asked him.

Cloud shrugged noncommittally. "A little."

Tifa took a sip of her hot coffee. "I was wondering…are we going to reopen our businesses?"

Cloud gave her a measured look. "Do you want to reopen the bar?"

"I think it might help me. It will give me something to do and it will be something familiar. The doctor did say that the more things I do that are normal, the easier it might be to remember things."

Cloud nodded slowly. "Okay. I think we should start by opening the bar, then, and I won't go out on deliveries until I know you're going to be all right by yourself."

"I ran the bar by myself before, though, right?"

Cloud set his coffee down. "Yes," he told her seriously, "but you knew what you were doing then. You knew which people were more likely to cause trouble and which ones were banned from coming in. You knew how to handle customers who tried to start anything. Do you know any of that now?"

"I…don't know."

"Do you remember how to fight? How to defend yourself?"

"I don't know. I haven't tried."

Cloud nodded again. "Then for now, I'll help with the bar. Reeve offered to help with the delivery service anyway, so I might take him up on that for a little while."

"Okay. When do you think we should reopen the bar?"

Cloud rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "There's a memorial service tomorrow for everyone who died at the school. Maybe we can open the next day? Or is that too soon?"

"No, that's fine. I'd rather do it sooner. Do you have any suggestions about how I can find out if I still know any of my martial arts training? Because I don't remember learning any of it."

Cloud's eyes narrowed slightly. "I have some ideas. Whenever you have time--"

"How about now? It's not exactly like I have anything but time at the moment. Unless you wanted to tinker with your bike some more, and then I can tackle more laundry."

A slight smile lit Cloud's face--she saw it more in his eyes than his mouth. "I can do that anytime." He considered her, and then said, "Come on. Let's see what you can do."

Chapter Text

It was late afternoon when Cloud and Tifa arrived at the inn where they would be staying for the week. The first moments after closing the door to their room were absolutely the most tension-filled, awkward, uncomfortable ones between them in a long time--mostly, Cloud suspected, on his part. Tifa looked a little unsure, but he didn't think anything could have wiped away the brilliant light in her eyes.

Cloud had no idea what to do now that he had arrived at this moment. He knew what he was supposed to do, but he was anxious and nervous and how many ways could he screw this up and--

"Cloud." Tifa stepped closer to him, reaching out and taking both his hands in hers.

The familiar gesture was reassuring, and he took a deep breath. His body and his mind were screaming two different things at him--his body was reacting more strongly to her than it ever had before, while his brain was reacting with one thought. "I don't want to hurt you." There was so much more now that they had come to this point. His body was as scarred on the outside as he was on the inside, and he still felt so imperfect for her.

Tifa pulled one hand away from his and pressed it to his cheek. "I'm going to be fine." Her hand trailed down his jaw, his shoulders, his chest, going lower; his body shuddered reflexively and the hand still holding hers clenched tightly to her fingers. He took a slow step closer to her, their bodies almost touching, and his free hand went to the zipper on her dress. Her eyes were on his the entire time he unzipped it and her wedding gown fell into a pool at her feet.

There was a certain trepidation in Tifa's eyes as Cloud looked at her, and one of her hands went instinctively to cover part of a long scar that slashed diagonally across her chest and over her right breast. It was in that gesture that Cloud really understood that there were still parts of Tifa that were just as insecure, but that she was willing to lay her scars bare for him, just like always.

He took her hand and gently tugged it away from her scar. "Tifa. You're beautiful."

The unconscious tension of her shoulders eased. She took the final step closer to him, her body pressing against his. Any shred of self-control he still had left vanished like smoke on the wind, and for the first time, all he was thinking about was being with Tifa and not how much damage he could inflict on her in the process. For the first time, he let someone else see just him, wholly and completely, to see all of his scars, all of his imperfections.

And for the first time, he wasn't ashamed of them.

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Chapter Ten - Body Memory

Cloud took Tifa into the garage, to the space in the back where she had set up her punching bag when she had wanted to work out or just needed to take out some frustration after a particularly rough day. He had several ideas of things to try with her, but he would start with the simplest. He quickly grabbed the pole to hang the punching bag and got it set up while Tifa watched, hoping that she would know how to fight. He wanted to know she could protect herself. If she didn't know how--well, they'd figure that out if it came to it.

Once the punching bag was set up, Cloud gestured at it. "Start by hitting the punching bag."

Tifa eyed it uncertainly, but stepped up to it. Cloud knew instantly from her stance that she wasn't going to hit it properly. Sure enough, as she punched the bag, it barely moved--there was no force behind her fist. Tifa frowned and punched it harder. This time, the bag bounced backwards, then came flying back at her face. She caught it with both hands to keep it from smacking into her.

"Okay, maybe that's not the best way," Cloud said. "Forget the bag. Try to hit me."

Tifa stared at him. "What? But what if I hurt you?"

"Then we'll know you're doing something right." Cloud dragged the punching bag out of the way, leaving a space clear. "Come on."

Tifa's expression grew more uncertain. She bit her lip, then reluctantly nodded. "Okay."

Her attempts to hit him were half-hearted at first, but as he deftly dodged each punch, her stance became a little more solid, her jabs a little more determined. She had not yet even managed to touch him, let alone land a blow on him. A spark lit in her eyes, her lips pursing in concentration. He sidestepped one of her fists and ducked out of reach of the other one.

"Cloud, I'm not so sure this is going to wo--"

As Tifa was speaking, Cloud slid in, grabbed her wrist, and twisted her arm behind her back.

She reacted instantly, spinning around and swinging her foot in a high kick aimed at his face, while at the same time breaking his hold on her wrist. He caught her foot before it struck his chin, jerking it around and trying to jolt her into losing her balance. Tifa let herself drop to the floor, catching herself with both hands and swiveling her body in a move that again broke his hold on her. She brought her other heel around into his shin, kicking that leg out from under him.

Tifa gasped and scrambled backwards away from Cloud. "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"It's nothing." His shin was probably going to be bruised, but he took that as a good sign. A smile grew on his face. "Looks like you still remember something."

Tifa stared at her hands. "That was so strange."

"Can you do it again? Can you do it because you want to and not because you're reacting out of instinct?"

"Maybe."

"If not, we'll keep doing it this way until you can," Cloud said with determination. "It's still in there, Tifa. It just needs to be drawn out." He straightened and motioned to her. "Again. Try to hit me."

Her stance, he saw this time, was certain and steady, but she was still cautious when she swung at him. He understood why, but he didn't want her cautious--he wanted to know she would be able to kick the shit out of anyone who tried something to her.

Cloud moved in closer, faster, aiming one hand toward her stomach, the other toward her head. Tifa blocked both of his hands, coming back with several punches of her own. Neither one landed on him, but he had succeeded in his goal--she was less hesitant and more determined.

He slowly increased his strength and speed, until he was giving everything he had to achieve one thing: pin her down and immobilize her. If she could keep him from doing that, or if he could immobilize her and she could break free, then he would feel a little more secure in her ability to protect herself.

As his pace increased, so did hers, and he watched with satisfaction and immense relief as her body found the fluid movements, the kicks, the punches that she had spent so many years learning, practicing, and utilizing. He finally managed to sweep her legs out from under her, at the same time grabbing her shoulder and yanking it backwards. She fell onto her back and he pinned her legs to the floor with his knees, her wrists pressed to the ground by his hands.

Tifa's eyes went wide and he suddenly discovered the compromising position he'd put her in and how very, very close his body was to hers. He had achieved his goal, but his body was reacting to her proximity in ways that he hadn't intended and that were definitely not related to testing her fighting skills.

He was about to let go and move away from her, but before he had a chance, her expression suddenly shifted into something else entirely: a distant, stricken sort of look. She jerked her knees upward and twisted her body sideways. Within three seconds, she had thrown him off and was standing a good meter away, her shirt drenched in sweat and her breathing rapid.

Cloud swiveled to his feet, his own pulse racing, but he knew it wasn't from being worn out. Tifa's hands were covering her face, her posture tense, and Cloud felt a stab of guilt, thinking that it was his fault she was upset. "Tifa, I--"

Tifa peeled her hands away from her face. "There was a man. In…a church?" She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I was there with Marlene. I don't remember why I was there…but there was a man, and he hurt me. I fought him, but I lost, and I couldn't get up. He was standing over me…he was going to take Marlene. He was going to take her, and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't move. I could hardly breathe."

She was remembering again. And she was remembering another painful memory. It was a hard thing, wanting Tifa to get her memories back but knowing how much pain was in some of those memories. Not only was she being forced to find and relive these difficult moments, but Cloud was getting to experience them all over again with her. Things he would have rather not thought about--things that he knew he had done and was not proud of, but which had ultimately shaped him and brought him to where he was now. Knowing the good made it easier for him to deal with the bad.

Tifa opened her eyes. "Why did he want Marlene?" Her expression changed to one of horror. "He didn't...do anything to her?"

Realizing what kinds of thoughts might be running through Tifa's head, Cloud forcefully said, "No. He was using her as bait. It was during Geostigma and Reunion."

Tifa shook her head in confusion. "Reunion? I know what Geostigma was, and I know that it was cured with healing water from the planet..."

Cloud grimaced. "There's still a lot to tell you."

Tifa sighed. "Yeah." She took a long, slow breath and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Okay. I'd like to take a shower, and then maybe you can tell me about it while I make breakfast?"

"You don't have to make breakfast, you--"

Tifa waved a hand at him. "I know. I know I don't have to do any of this, Cloud, but I want to." She peered at him closely. "You don't have to feel bad when I want to do something to help, you know."

It was such an absolute Tifa comment that he couldn't help but smile a little. Every time she said something so normal, it was another ray of light for him--like her earlier comment about him tinkering with his bike. She had no idea how often she had teased him about that in those exact words.

"So is there anything the kids really like for breakfast?" Tifa asked.

That was easy. "Pancakes. I'd say eggs, but they're probably sick of them at this point. It's been my staple breakfast food for them this week."

"From what I hear, it's one of your only staple foods," Tifa returned, a light teasing in her voice.

Cloud shrugged resignedly.

"I'll make pancakes, then." Tifa gave him a soft smile. "Thank you, Cloud. I still don't remember learning how to fight, but as I was fighting, it started coming back to me how to do it."

"So now you can do it because you want to."

"Yes."

While Tifa went upstairs, Cloud sank onto one of the barstools and rested his head in his hands. He had hoped that helping Tifa find out if she still retained her fighting skills would distract him from his thoughts, and in part, it had, but it had also made some things more difficult. He focused on the fact that Tifa could fight--that, at least, made him feel a lot better about the decision to reopen Seventh Heaven.

Cloud heard footsteps on the stairs, and glanced over to see Denzel trudging down them. "Hi, Cloud."

"Morning, Denzel."

Denzel looked exhausted; he was usually very much a morning person, but this week, each morning he woke up looking worse. He climbed silently onto the stool next to Cloud and dropped his forehead onto his good hand.

Cloud reached over and squeezed Denzel's shoulder. He didn't ask if Denzel was okay, knowing that he would only say yes and also knowing it wouldn't be true.

His head still lying on his hand, Denzel turned his face toward Cloud. "Cloud, can I go to Izzi's in a little while? Aria's coming home from the hospital today and we want to meet her there and help get her home."

"Sure. Need a ride?"

Denzel shook his head. "I want to walk."

"Just make sure you--"

"--take the emergency phone," Denzel finished with Cloud. "I will." He pulled his head off his hand. "Tomorrow is the memorial service."

"I know." Cloud searched Denzel's eyes.

Denzel seemed to be on the brink of saying something, but then he broke eye contact and that moment was gone. Cloud didn't push him, but he did wonder how long it would be before Denzel's stoic demeanor shattered.

Cloud closed his eyes. They were all being held together by a pretty thin thread. What would it take for it to snap? And what would happen when it did?

"Do you think they'll rebuild the school?" Denzel asked.

"I don't now. If they don't, they might just move the school to a different building," Cloud said.

Denzel nodded silently, and then changed the subject entirely. "Are we having eggs for breakfast again?"

"Hey, I make a pretty mean egg," Cloud said. When Denzel threw him a resigned look, Cloud gave him half a smile. "Tifa's going to make pancakes."

Denzel's eyes brightened a little. "Really? Great!" Looking, if not more cheerful, at least a little more awake, Denzel slid off the stool and went back upstairs.

Tifa came back down a minute later and set to work mixing pancake batter. While she scooped batter onto a pan in the kitchen, Cloud leaned against a counter and slowly told her about Kadaj and his group, the kidnapping of the children, the return of Sephiroth, and Aerith's healing rain.

"Aerith?" Tifa asked as she flipped over several pancakes.

Cloud's fingers tightened on the countertop. "She…she was one of the people who started out with us when we were looking for Sephiroth. Just before Meteor. Sephiroth killed her. She was..." How did he describe Aerith? "She was spunky and outgoing and she was always giving of herself to keep others safe." Something Tifa and Aerith had in common--the willingness to sacrifice theirselves for others.

Something in his tone caught Tifa's attention, because she took her eyes off the frying pan and moved them to his face. "Did you love her?" There was no hurt or accusation in the question, just simple curiosity.

Cloud didn't answer for a minute. How completely strange it was to be discussing this with Tifa after this many years, especially because Tifa had known everything there was to know about his friendship with Aerith. "There were times when I wasn't sure. My head was a mess. My personality was a mess. Aerith was someone I cared about a lot. I was right there when Sephiroth killed her and I couldn't stop it. I blamed myself for her death for a long time." Realizing he hadn't really answered her question, he looked her straight in the eyes. "Yes, I loved Aerith. But I was in love with you, Tifa. I loved you from the time I was just a stupid kid. It just took me a really long time to admit it to you. I was scared."

"Of what?" Tifa scooped up the last of the pancakes and placed them onto the large stack she'd already made, but kept glancing at him the entire time.

Cloud pulled plates out of the cupboard. "Of losing you. Of hurting you. Of a lot of things."

The weight of that statement seemed suspended between them for an aching moment as something passed through Tifa's eyes, and Cloud knew the thought that he had lost her had just crossed both of their minds--that he had lost who she had been.

"Oh." There was another pause, and then Tifa said quietly, "Cloud? I'm…sorry."

Cloud set the plates on the counter and turned back to face her. "Don't apologize. You always used to tell me to stop apologizing for things that weren't my fault. 'Do what you can and then take a step forward.'" She had never let him give up on himself, and she had never given up on him. "I'll do whatever it takes to help you find yourself again, if you'll let me."

He had fought through hell to get to her the first time. He'd do it again if he had to.

Chapter Text

Tifa was sound asleep, curled up facing Cloud with only a thin sheet covering them. A lock of hair trailed over one of her eyes, and Cloud reached over, carefully brushing it off her face. His fingers grazed her bare shoulder, and she stirred slightly but didn't open her eyes.

He was content just to watch her in the dim moonlight. It was so strange the difference in what he felt right then as opposed to how he had felt twenty-four hours earlier, or a week earlier, or a month earlier. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so at peace, so complete and unburdened. The niggling voice in the back of his mind that told him that the experiments and damage done to him might still hurt her in the future was not completely gone, but it had faded to an almost indiscernible whisper. As Cloud lay there watching Tifa sleep, he really believed that whatever happened, they could get through it together.

Cloud's hand moved gently to her back and he leaned forward enough to kiss her forehead. She made a little noise in her sleep, a hum of contentment, and shifted a little closer to him, her nose brushing against his chest. He gave a peaceful sigh of his own. In the calm and quiet of this moment, it was easy to wonder why he had taken so long to get here in the first place. Easier still to wonder why Tifa had waited for so long for him.

Tifa stirred again, and this time her eyes opened. She blinked at him slowly and a smile spread across her face. "Hi." Her voice was thick with sleep. Her arm slid over his back and she snuggled closer to him, her fingers trailing gently over his back, over the smooth skin and his own scars, sending tingles up his spine.

He didn't take his eyes off of hers. "Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." More than okay, so much more that he didn't have words to express it.

Tifa's eyes searched his, and he smiled at her. Her eyes lit up and he didn't understand how he could make her eyes shine like that just by smiling at her. He didn't care. She was happy, and so was he. He wouldn't have traded that moment for anything in the world.

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Chapter Eleven - In Memorium

Tifa stood in the hot shower and closed her eyes against the spray of water. She felt strangely more alive than she had all week. Falling into the rhythm of fighting had been amazing. The strength she had found flowing through her body had been invigorating and her senses had sharpened as everything else faded away. For a few minutes, with all of her focus on her body's movements, she had almost been able to forget everything else. There had just been her and Cloud and--

Cloud.

She turned her face away from the water and opened her eyes, but wasn't really seeing the shower wall in front of her; her mind was on Cloud. Before she'd been assaulted with the memory of Marlene being taken from her in a church, when Cloud had her pinned to the ground, his face centimeters from hers, she had been completely overwhelmed by the heat in his eyes. It had been disconcerting and strange and yet another reminder of what should have been. She was his wife; it was supposed to be normal for him to desire her. His expression had made her feel more guilty than embarrassed.

When she was done in the shower, she dressed and went back downstairs to make the pancakes. That came easily, too; she had no trouble mixing the batter and cooking them, even while giving her attention to Cloud's story of Reunion.

Denzel was waiting in the bar when she brought the pancakes out. Marlene slept for another couple of hours, so Tifa just set some food aside for her and warmed it up when she finally stumbled downstairs, clutching a ragged stuffed rabbit in one hand. While Marlene was consuming her pancakes, Cloud mentioned quietly to Tifa that it had been the first night that Marlene hadn't woken from nightmares.

Tifa's second day at Seventh Heaven was a little easier than the first. It had its strange, uncertain moments, but interacting with Cloud and the kids was more comfortable. She was more familiar with the house now, a little more adjusted.

Denzel left after breakfast and didn't come back until early afternoon. While he was gone, Cloud worked on his bike and Tifa finished the laundry while spending time with Marlene. Marlene was excited when she found out that Cloud and Tifa were reopening Seventh Heaven, and she was full of suggestions on how to help set up for it. When Denzel came home from visiting his friends, he joined in on the planning. The small preparations were a welcome distraction for everyone. Marlene made a sign to hang on the front door announcing when the bar would open again, and Denzel helped Tifa hunt through the kitchen and put together a list of a few things she might need.

"Cloud said you and Izzi were seeing Aria home from the hospital," Tifa said to Denzel while they were poking around in the kitchen.

"Yeah."

"How's she doing?"

Denzel paused and glanced at Tifa. "She's in a wheelchair until her legs are better. She's…" He trailed off and averted his eyes. "She's alive."

He didn't say anything else--he didn't seem willing to say anything else, so Tifa let him turn back to his task. When they had finished writing their short list, Cloud looked it over and said everything on it could be found in Edge. "I can pick it up tomorrow afternoon," he added.

They ate dinner, which was the last of the meals that Shera had made for them, sitting on cushions around the low table in the living room. "Maybe opening the bar again will help you remember something," Marlene said while they were eating.

Tifa paused with a bite of food halfway to her mouth. "Actually, I've remembered three things."

Denzel and Marlene both looked at her, Marlene's eyes wide and hopeful, Denzel's cautiously optimistic. "You have? When? What did you remember?" Marlene asked.

"One yesterday, and two during the night. They…weren't really happy memories," Tifa said. "I remembered you having a nightmare, Marlene. You were asking me why so many people had to die."

"I remember that," Marlene said. "It was when you told me that sadness was the price to see it end." She bit her lip and looked down at the table for a minute before looking back at Tifa. "But at least you really remembered something! What else? You said three things."

"I remember you being sick with Geostigma," Tifa said, her eyes moving to Denzel, "and I remember you being taken from me in the church after I fought--" What had Cloud said his name was?

"Loz," Marlene supplied, and Tifa nodded. "So you haven't remembered Cloud yet?"

Cloud and Tifa exchanged quick glances and then looked away from each other. "Not yet," Tifa said softly.

A small smile touched Marlene's face. "I'm glad you're starting to remember, Tifa. I'm sorry they're sad memories, but I'm…glad."

"Me, too."

Pretty soon the kids were getting ready for bed, though there was some tension and agitation as they were preparing to head to their respective bedrooms. Tifa thought she knew why--the memorial service was in the morning, and it was undoubtedly weighing on both kids' minds. She went upstairs with Cloud to say good night to the kids. Denzel was already in his bed, and muttered a quiet "G'night" to Tifa, and a "See you tomorrow" to Cloud before rolling over and pulling the blankets up around his head.

Marlene came out of her bedroom before they reached it. "Have you seen Mouse?" she asked Cloud and Tifa.

"Who's Mouse?" Tifa asked.

A brief expression of distress passed through Marlene's eyes so quickly that Tifa wasn't entirely sure she had actually seen it, and Cloud said quietly, "Her stuffed rabbit."

"Oh! It's downstairs. You brought it with you when you woke up this morning," Tifa told Marlene. "I'll get it."

She went downstairs and quickly located the missing toy, returning to Marlene's room as Cloud was pulling her covers over her. Tifa handed the stuffed rabbit to Marlene, who whispered, "Thanks. Good night, Tifa. Good night, Cloud." On their way out of her room, she added, "You can turn the light off."

Cloud turned off her light, but Tifa had already learned enough to know he'd switch it back on later when Marlene was asleep. He headed back downstairs, and after a hesitant moment, Tifa went that way, too. She found Cloud in the bar, pouring himself a drink. When he saw her, he held it up. "Want one?"

"Sure."

Cloud poured a second glass and handed it to her, and she took a tentative sip. It burned her mouth with the first swallow, but left a rather sweet aftertaste. "Corel wine." She looked into the glass. "I made this, didn't I?"

"Yeah. You remember?"

"Not specifically, but I know how to make it and I know the taste." Tifa took another drink and twisted the glass in her fingers.

They sat in silence after that for a few minutes. Tifa wasn't sure what to do with the time after the kids' weren't around; she'd taken care of everything she could during the day and while she was exhausted, she wasn't sure she would be able to fall asleep. She supposed she could be using the time to talk to Cloud, to get to know him a little more, but she was at a loss as to what to say. Cloud just looked exhausted and if she started talking, chances were it would lead to more questions. She wasn't sure she wanted to ask more questions that night, or that Cloud was up for answering them.

Cloud finished his drink and stood. "Do you need anything before I go to bed?"

Tifa shook her head. "I'm okay. Thanks."

"Okay. 'Night, Tifa."

"Good night," she whispered. Her fingers tightened around her glass. Should she go after him and tell him that he could come back to their bed? Would she be okay sleeping next to him?

She was still wavering uncertainly over this when she finished her drink and climbed the stairs. She needn't have worried one way or the other. Cloud was already in the guest room, the door open. She paused for a moment in the doorway. He was lying on top of the blankets, his boots in a heap on the floor, his breathing slow and steady. He really had been exhausted.

Tifa stood still and watched him. It was a lot easier to really look at him when he was sleeping and not faced with his intense eyes. He looked even younger when he was sleeping, his face smooth of any worries or exhaustion. Sighing, she turned quietly away from the door and went to the room across the hall, changing into her pajamas before sliding into the large bed. She didn't shut the door as she had the previous evening, and when she was lying in bed, she could look across the hall into the guest room and see Cloud's feet.

It took her a long time to fall asleep.

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The next morning, they woke up to get ready for the memorial service. Tifa fed the kids breakfast, a task that she found very comfortable and which made her really feel like she was doing something helpful. After eating something herself, she went to get changed and brush her teeth. When she was about to head back downstairs, she heard a noise that made her pause as she was walking past Marlene's bedroom door. It was a short, frustrated sound--it wasn't much, but her footsteps were drawn to the door. She knocked once. "Marlene?"

There was a moment of silence, and then Marlene said, "Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

Another pause. "Yes."

Tifa opened the door. Marlene was sitting at her desk, her back to Tifa. Her hair spilled down her back, hiding her face from Tifa's sight.

"I'll be ready to go soon," Marlene said.

Tifa moved around the desk, to try to see her face around her hair, but Marlene quickly looked away. "Marlene?"

In a strained voice, Marlene said, "I'm okay."

She was obviously not okay, but Tifa wasn't sure what she should do. Should she give Marlene her space? Was that what she needed? Tifa shook her head slightly and went with her instinct, resting a gentle hand on Marlene's back. Marlene's shoulders tensed and her breath hitched in her throat. Her head dropped onto her desk, her body trembling with the force of emotions she was holding in. One of her hands, Tifa finally saw, was clenching a hairbrush so tightly her knuckles were white.

"I can't braid my hair." Marlene's voice was thick. "I can't do it by myself. Cloud doesn't know how and Papa couldn't do it either so I've had to leave my hair down or tie it out of my face but I can't get it smooth. You…you usually braid it for me or…or…" She choked on her words and shook her head, struggling for calm.

Tifa stepped closer and knelt beside Marlene's chair, wrapping her arms around her. Marlene was frozen for a moment, and then she burst into tears. She flung her arms around Tifa, sliding off her chair and sobbing into Tifa's shoulder--horrible, aching cries that she tried to choke back and muffle, with little success. Tears stung Tifa's own eyes as she held the agonized child. More words poured from Marlene's mouth in a jumbled mess of pain and frustration. Tifa could not make out all of it, but she caught bits about the school, Marlene's friends, Kiri, and she heard it quite plainly when Marlene wept, "And you don't remember me and I miss you…I miss you…"

The tears did slip down Tifa's cheeks then, and she held Marlene more tightly. She saw when Cloud, a worried look on his face, came hurrying to the door to see what was wrong with Marlene, but when he saw Tifa sitting with her, he quietly stepped away again.

"Do you even love me anymore?" Marlene's question was a plaintive one full of aching and desperation, and it twisted something horrific in Tifa's gut.

"Oh, sweetie," she whispered, "I think it would be impossible not to love you."

Marlene cried harder, and Tifa rocked her slowly back and forth, humming a quiet tune. Marlene's weeping slowly subsided, but even when she was quiet, she remained in Tifa's arms, her body limp, as her sniffles turned into even breaths. "That's the lullaby your mother used to sing to you."

Tifa's humming stopped, and Marlene twisted her head to look up at her. "You always sing it to me when I'm sad."

My mother's lullaby… Words were floating through Tifa's head now, words that she knew went with the song she'd been humming. She closed her eyes and the vague image of a pretty, dark-haired woman flashed through her mind. Her mother? But stronger than that came the image of herself, sitting next to Marlene's bed and stroking her hair, that same song coming out of her mouth. It was a brief flash, very vague, but it was enough to know that it had been one time in many that she had sung to her daughter.

"I remember," she whispered. She opened her eyes to find Marlene watching her. "I remember singing to you." She couldn't remember why she had been singing, except that it was something to help soothe Marlene. It still wasn't exactly a pleasant memory, but she kept telling herself that these things she was recalling were still memories. There had to be happy ones in there, too, and maybe they would come soon.

Marlene's eyes filled with hope. "You do?"

"Yes."

Marlene breathed a sigh and rested her cheek against Tifa's shoulder. "Tifa?"

"Hm?"

"I'm scared."

Tifa swallowed past the lump in her throat. Me, too. Aloud, she said, "I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Okay." Marlene reluctantly pulled away from Tifa. "We're going to have to leave soon."

"Come on. I'll help you with your hair." Tifa stood and motioned Marlene to sit in her chair. She picked up the hairbrush that had ended up dropped on the floor and set to work on Marlene's hair, deftly weaving it back in a long braid. "There. How's that?"

Marlene stood up and examined herself in a mirror, and for a moment Tifa thought she was going to burst into tears again. Instead, she whispered, "Thank you." She took a deep breath and smoothed out her shirt, wincing a little as her hand passed over her stomach.

"Do you need something for pain?" Tifa asked her.

Marlene shook her head firmly. "I'm feeling a lot better. And I don't want to fall asleep at the memorial."

Tifa nodded slowly. "Okay." She would make sure to keep an eye on Marlene; she had figured out that both Marlene and Denzel were not the types of children to complain when they were suffering.

She followed Marlene downstairs, where Cloud was waiting in the bar with Denzel. Cloud gave Tifa a questioning, searching look, and she attempted a smile to try to assure him, but only half succeeded in getting her mouth to cooperate.

They walked to the memorial service, which was taking place not far from where the school had been. There was already a large crowd gathered there, setting bouquets of flowers around a large stone with names carved into it.

There were a lot of children huddled into a group; some of them had obvious injuries like casts over broken bones or bandages covering other wounds. Tifa caught sight of Aria in a wheelchair and Izzi standing next to her. Denzel took Marlene's hand and the two of them went to join the other kids.

Tifa stood uncertainly next to Cloud and several strangers. Well, maybe not strangers, but she couldn't really know. One middle-aged woman who was standing near the group of children caught sight of Tifa and Cloud and her face lit up. She hurried over and grasped one of Tifa's hands in both of hers. "Oh, Tifa, I'm so glad to see you. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you; things have been quite chaotic." Her smile gentled. "I realize you probably don't know me any longer."

"Tifa, this is Cira Burke. She runs one of the children's homes here--the one where Izzi lives," Cloud explained.

"Oh." Tifa managed a smile at the woman.

"I wanted to thank you for what you did. Izzi wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I already lost so many." A deep sadness crossed the woman's face. "Such is the world we live in, yes?" She shook her head. "Please let me know if there's anything I might do to help you, Tifa."

"Thank you." Tifa watched Cira walk back over to the children. "How many children's homes are there in Edge?" she asked Cloud.

"Three. Other children were taken in by families. Some kids have a harder time trying to adjust to living with families and in homes after everything they've gone through and they run away." Cloud's gaze drifted over to the kids. "We know the people who run all three homes, and we know a lot of the parents. I'm sure you'll see more of them today."

Tifa did meet more of them before the service started, and it was difficult because not only were many of them suffering from the loss of a child, but she didn't even remember them. The memorial started when a man stepped forward to read the names of all the people who had died in the school. Then other people, friends and families, took turns talking about those people, sharing memories of those who had been taken from them.

Marlene broke down and sobbed through half the service, but she didn't come to Cloud or Tifa for comfort. She continued to cling to Denzel's hand and he wrapped one arm around her. Denzel didn't cry, just stared straight ahead, his eyes haunted, but he held tightly to Marlene. It was like that with a lot of the children that were there; some of them handled their pain through tears, and others obviously internalized it.

Tifa stood through the memorial service with a sort of numb aching. There were so many futures that had been crushed in an instant. How could she even possibly feel bad about losing her memories when so many had lost their lives? Her children, even if she did not really know them anymore, were alive. They were traumatized and obviously hurting, but they were alive.

A confusing swirl of emotions--pain, guilt, frustration, and longing for something she should have had but didn't--tightened together into a hard ball in her chest until she was having a hard time just breathing. The words she had once spoken to Marlene about sadness being the price to see it end floated through her mind, but they made absolutely no sense to her right now. What had there been to end? The children who died hadn't been doing anything except trying to learn and grow.

She didn't know what she was thinking. Her mind and emotions were a muddled mess and she didn't know these people, she didn't remember this tragedy even though it had changed her whole life.

Her breath hitched in her throat, more in an attempt to breathe past the emotions clogging her chest and throat than anything else, and she only realized she was hunching over when a hand touched her back. "Tifa?"

They all went to see Aerith--Tifa, and her companions who had saved the world and lost so much in the process. They went for Aerith, who was dead and at the bottom of a spring in the Forgotten City. Standing there with her companions, the grief over losing her friend finally overwhelmed her until she was crying harder than she could remember crying in a very long time. And Cloud's hand was on her shoulder, her anchor in the midst of her sea of pain and loss…

Tifa squeezed her eyes shut. Aerith…the Forgotten City…and Cloud. She didn't really remember Cloud, didn't see his face in the memory that had just struck her; she just had the recollection of her tears and his presence. It was more pain, but a hint of comfort…a hint that memories of Cloud were really there somewhere, lurking with all the rest.

She forced herself to straighten and the touch on her back disappeared, but Cloud shifted toward her slightly, his eyes searching her face worriedly. She shook her head slightly, completely overwhelmed and unable to speak. She turned her gaze back toward the huddle of children nearby. So much pain…and for what? What am I supposed to tell Marlene if she asks me why so many had to die this time? Do I have any answers?

She glanced again at Cloud and saw the deep grief in his own countenance. One look at his eyes and she noticed the pain in them. It hit her harder than ever how much he had on his shoulders, how much everyone was leaning on him, but who did he have to lean on? And she…well, she was still trying to figure out how to stand up on her own two feet.

She wasn't entirely sure what made her reach for Cloud's hand. Maybe for reassurance, maybe to reassure, maybe for another reason entirely. He tensed when she slipped her hand into his, but a moment later he relaxed and squeezed her fingers.

The pressure within Tifa eased just slightly, and she kept her hand in Cloud's for the remainder of the memorial service.

Chapter Text

"Tifa! Cloud!" Marlene ran out of Barret's house in Corel and flung herself on both of them. "You're back! I've missed you so much!"

Tifa laughed and kissed the crown of her head. "Missed you too, sweetie." She looked up as Denzel exited the house, his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face. "And you too," she said, pulling him into a tight hug. "Have you been eating your vegetables?"

Cloud couldn't help but chuckle. Five seconds back with the kids and Tifa was automatically in mother mode. He had to admit, as he ruffled Denzel's hair, that he had missed them, too. His and Tifa's two week honeymoon had been amazing, but it was also good to be picking up the kids and heading home again.

"Yes," Denzel answered Tifa in resignation. "And brushing our teeth, and taking showers, and all that other stuff."

"Hey, it's the lovebirds!" Barret came out of the house and crossed his arms.

Tifa let go of the kids and stepped forward to hug Barret tightly. "Thanks for holding down the fort, Barret."

"Pshaw, ain't nothin'. It was good to have the kids around." Barret lifted Tifa off the ground and squeezed her hard enough to make her let out a muffled "eep!" before setting her back and holding at arm's length. "Well, Spiky, guess you done good; I ain't never seen Tifa glow so much."

Tifa waved him off and a smile touched Cloud's lips.

"Why don't you stay for dinner, 'less you're in a hurry to be off," Barret said.

"That would be great," Tifa said, stepping toward the door. "Do you need help with anything?"

"You jus' stay outta the kitchen," Barret told her. "I handled feeding the kids for two weeks; I think I can handle feeding you two without givin' you food poisoning or somethin'."

They had a pleasant meal, and then packed the kids and their bags into Barret's truck. He gave them all a lift over to Rocket Town, where Cid was going to fly them back over to Edge. It had either been that or try to take a boat and rent cars to get across the sea, but taking the Shera was decidedly the fastest way. Cloud spotted a few monsters on the drive, but none that tried to attack the truck.

Despite feeling rather airsick, Cloud had a nice trip home. Marlene and Denzel were both full of energy and stories about their two weeks in Corel and the day that Barret had taken them to the Gold Saucer. Cloud was happy to sit up on the deck with Tifa leaning against him while Marlene and Denzel chattered to them.

It was well into the night before the Shera landed at the outskirts of Edge. Marlene had fallen asleep sprawled across Tifa's lap, and Denzel had dozed off against Cloud's shoulder. Cloud roused a groggy Denzel, who stumbled to his feet. Tifa lifted a sleeping Marlene onto Cloud's back. He grabbed onto her to keep her from falling off and Tifa wrapped an arm around Denzel, steering him in the right direction.

Cid came out of the cockpit to see them off. "Thanks for the lift, Cid," Tifa said gratefully.

"Yeah, yeah. You just get those kids to bed."

They soon arrived home and went inside. The smell of the bar was both familiar yet strange after being away for two weeks. "Welcome home," Tifa said, carefully lifting Marlene off of Cloud's back. She gave him a brilliant smile before carrying Marlene toward the stairs, ushering Denzel in front of her.

Home. It was the same as it had always been, but somehow felt subtly different. Cloud knew, though, that the only difference was in him. It was always in him. The longer he was there, the longer he was with Tifa, his sense of home and belonging grew and deepened. As he stood there in the welcoming bar that was covered in Tifa's touch, he knew that no matter what came, he could never go backward. This was where he had always been meant to be…with Tifa, wherever she was.

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Chapter Twelve - Sidestepping

Tifa let go of Cloud's hand when the memorial service was over. He was kind of surprised that she had held it as long as she had--surprised that she had taken it at all. It was still hard to let go. He didn't want to let go. The whole service had left him numb and angry and aching, and the pressure of Tifa's hand had been comforting, reassuring.

Some people began to walk away, some stood talking, hugging, or crying. Marlene and Denzel were still with their friends. Marlene's shoulders were still shaking, but Denzel still had his arm around her and another girl around Marlene's age was holding one of her hands.

It wasn't long before Cloud and Tifa were approached by Reeve, who had been there to head the memorial and who had read the names of everyone who had died. "Cloud, Tifa, good to see you; I'm just sorry it's under these circumstances."

Tifa was looking at Reeve blankly, so Cloud said, "Tifa, this is Reeve Tuesti."

Tifa's hand automatically went out, and then she seemed to realize she was already supposed to know him, and she flushed and pulled her hand back. Reeve took her hand anyway, giving it a firm squeeze before letting go. "I'm sorry to hear about your memory loss. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

"Thanks." Tifa tucked her hair behind her ear. "You're in charge of the WRO, right?"

"I am, though there are days I wonder why." A faint smile crossed Reeve's face. "Cloud, I got your message about the delivery service. You know I'd be more than happy to help. I've got some people who can work on getting your packages to and from wherever they need to get until you're ready to take over again."

Cloud nodded at him. "Thanks." That was one load off of him, anyway; he didn't want to lose the delivery service and he had known if he didn't get some help soon, he would start losing customers. "I appreciate it."

Someone behind Reeve was trying to get his attention, and he shot Cloud and Tifa an apologetic glance. "I'll talk to you two soon. Take care."

As soon as Reeve turned to talk to the person behind him, Tifa was accosted by a short blur of flailing limbs. "Tifa! How've you been?" Yuffie disentangled herself from Tifa. She wasn't wearing her usual smile, and given their surroundings and the service they had just sat through, he wasn't surprised. "I hear you're opening the bar tomorrow. I'd offer to help--"

Cloud tried not to wince; he knew Yuffie's kind of help…it would involve some broken glass, a fight or two, and maybe some impromptu karaoke.

"--but I'm kinda busy so I'll have to take a rain check. I've gotta head out this afternoon." Yuffie hugged her arms around herself. "Have to poke into a few reports I got and then I've gotta swing by Professor Dorkus's in Mideel."

"Professor Dorne's?" Cloud corrected dryly.

Yuffie waved a hand dismissively. "Reeve's having me drop off our monster evidence to him for further analysis, 'cause he might be able to find out more about it than our scientists here could. Which is why I'll have to wait to help out at Seventh Heaven until after I get back. It shouldn't take me too long to take care of things. Just make sure you save me some of the good sake, okay, Tifa?"

Tifa was looking back and forth between Cloud and Yuffie with that mild confusion on her face, and at this last, she blinked and said, "Um, okay."

Yuffie squeezed Tifa and said, "I'm gonna say hi to Denz and Marls." She headed off toward the kids.

"What exactly does Yuffie do at the WRO?" Tifa asked Cloud.

"She's in charge of intelligence gathering and espionage."

Tifa stared at Yuffie as she stepped up behind Marlene and wrapped her in a hug. "Really."

"Don't let her fool you. She is a ninja. She's clumsy when she's trying to show off, and an endless chatterbox, but she's much smarter and more cunning than some people give her credit for. She can talk a person so upside down and sideways that she can find out a lot of things. What she can't get by talking, she gets by sneaking." Cloud paused. "You also have to watch your pockets when Yuffie's around. She has quick fingers and a fascination with shiny objects."

Tifa looked at Cloud as if uncertain as to whether he was being serious.

Marlene broke away from the other children and walked over to Tifa and Cloud. Her face was tear-streaked and her eyes were red, but she wasn't crying anymore. "Can we go home now, please?" she whispered.

Cloud nodded at her and went to see if Denzel was ready to leave, or if he wanted to stay with the other kids for a while. He opted to go home, and he and Marlene walked a little ahead of Cloud and Tifa on their way back to Seventh Heaven.

"Who's this Professor Dorne that Yuffie's going to see?" Tifa asked Cloud quietly.

Cloud shot her a quick look, wondering if she had remembered something or if she was just curious. Judging from her expression, she was just curious. Part of him was disappointed, but the other part of him was relieved. He was completely drained after sitting through the memorial and he wasn't sure he was up for reliving the first huge argument they'd had after they got married. Mideel was a place full of memories from his past and hers, both years earlier and in times more recent. Not bad memories, but…exhausting ones. Carefully, he said, "Dorne's a scientist who moved down to Mideel after Meteor. He's made it his life's work to study Jenova cells and the Lifestream."

"And the Lifestream in Mideel is right at the surface," Tifa said slowly. "Which would make it easier to study."

"Yeah. Reeve employs him sometimes when he needs to consult someone about Jenova cells or the Lifestream." He really did not want to discuss this particular subject at any more depth, not right now. Fortunately, Tifa didn't ask anything else, and they walked in silence the rest of the way back to the bar.

The rest of the afternoon and evening were busy with preparations to open Seventh Heaven the next day. Tifa normally had the bar open from noon until ten, and the bar was always closed on Thursdays for their family day together. Despite most of the other bars in Edge staying open much later at night, Tifa was never lacking for customers. The people who came to Seventh Heaven knew it was a family friendly place, and the ones that didn't soon found out.

By the time the kids went to sleep, Cloud had gone to pick up the stuff on Tifa's list, the meals for the next day had been planned, the glasses and plates were organized, napkins were stacked under the bar, and the cashbox was full of gil to make change. They were as ready as they could be for the reopening.

Despite the normality of the latter part of the day, Cloud felt anything but normal. He had been pushing himself forward all week, trying to take one step at a time, and his footsteps were beginning to drag. He was clinging to a calm demeanor, trying to keep his family together, but with each passing hour in each passing day the weight of it all just got heavier and heavier. Denzel's stark silences, Marlene's nightmares, Tifa's amnesia...he couldn't fix it. Not any of it. And there was no relief, no release. Tifa was helping with the kids as much as she could, giving comfort to Marlene and pulling Denzel into conversations--as short as they might be--but it was still difficult for all of them.

Just make it through today, he kept telling himself. Everyone's still here. This is your family and your home and you're all alive to make this work again. But he could not stop the lingering doubt or fear that maybe they couldn't make it work again. That maybe Tifa wouldn't remember him, or she would remember the painful things, that maybe she would wonder why she had ever decided to marry him. It was a small, irritating voice in the back of his mind, and he did his best to brush it away, frustrated because these were doubts and fears that he had already laid to rest. He would be damned if he let them come back to him now. He'd just been trying not to think about it. If he really let everything that had been happening get into his head, it started consuming him. It was easier to push it back, shove it down. Easier to stand strong when he wasn't being consumed with his own frustrations and pain.

Nights were especially difficult. In the past months, nights had been something Cloud had always looked forward to as time to spend with Tifa after the kids were in bed. Even if he was out on a delivery, he'd had coming home to Tifa to look forward to. But now, when night fell on Seventh Heaven and the kids were sleeping, he was at a loss as to what to do. Even sleep offered no relief, because sleeping in the guest room was yet another twist of the knife in his gut. The night before, at least he'd been too tired to do anything except collapse and crash, but because he'd actually slept decently for the first time in over week, it meant that on this night, he was completely awake. There was nothing for him to do; everything was set up for opening the bar, his bike was as tuned-up as he was going to get it. There was just him and Tifa, sitting at the bar counter.

He hated it. He hated that even the moments where he and Tifa were talking comfortably or doing something together, she was still…missing. She was missing somewhere in her mind, so close and yet so far away. Whenever he started to get frustrated, he would remind himself that he had once been in a similar situation. There had been a time when he hadn't known if any of his memories were real, when he had been confused and poisoned and incoherent, and Tifa had been there through it all. She had clung to belief that he was the Cloud she knew, had walked with him through his very subconscious and helped pick up his shattered, broken pieces and put them back together again. How had she done it? How had she done it with such perseverance and patience?

Because she loved me.

He understood a lot better now what it might have been like for her. It was hard. It was hard on either side, no matter how he looked at it.

"I guess I should go to bed. Tomorrow will be pretty busy, hm?" Tifa slipped off the stool.

"Yeah." Cloud closed his eyes and sighed inwardly. Maybe if he took Fenrir out for a spin, he'd feel a little better. A little more clearheaded. It had been a long time since he'd just had a few minutes of space and air. It might do him some good.

He was considering doing just that when he opened his eyes and saw that Tifa was still standing next to him, her hands clenching and unclenching, a sure sign of nervousness, frustration, or anger. His gaze went to her face. Her expression was one of uncertainty. "Cloud?"

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Um…if you want…I mean, you don't--that is--" Tifa was obviously flustered, and he kept his eyes on her. It was so strange to see Tifa like this--embarrassed about saying something to him, uncertain about it. He wanted to just grab her and tell her to just say it, but knew that wouldn't do anything except make her feel worse. "You don't have to sleep in the guest room," she said in a rush. "We can share the bed, if you want to." She sighed and rubbed her temples, but when she spoke again, she sounded calmer, much less nervous. "I know it's not easy. I'm sorry. I'm trying."

Of course she was. She was always trying; she always had been. It was just part of who she was.

Part of him wondered if it would be more difficult to sleep next to her or to keep sleeping in the guest room. It wouldn't be the same as it was before, but they had been falling asleep next to each other for years, on their travels trying to stop Meteor, in caves and forests and in prisons and on dirty bar floors. Falling asleep next to her should be easy, right? Anyway, how could he say no when she was stepping out and offering it to him? That said something--it said that she was willing to lie next to him, willing to share that space with him even if she was unsure.

And he didn't like sleeping in the guest room. He did want to be next to her…but he wanted her and not the cautious wall between them.

He looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Thank you."

Tifa nodded, her hands slowly unclenching and staying that way. "Well, then, I'm going to bed." She left the bar and he heard her footsteps on the stairs.

Cloud took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders in an unsuccessful attempt to ease some of his tension. It looked like Fenrir was out for now; if he left, Tifa would probably think she had done something horribly wrong. So though he wasn't tired, he went upstairs and got his pillow out of the guest room, setting it on the bed next to Tifa's pillow while she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. He was stretched out on his side of the bed when she tiptoed into the room, wearing pajama pants and a tank top. She hesitated in the doorway, then crossed to the bed and lifted the covers. He very deliberately kept his eyes only on her face. This was hard enough without looking at the way her clothing fit the contours of her body.

There were several long, uncomfortable minutes in which they both lay on their backs and stared at the ceiling. Finally, Tifa breathed a long, slow sigh. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her turn onto her side, facing away from him. Before too long, her breathing turned deep and even, and he knew she had slipped into sleep.

He continued to lie there, wide awake, with Tifa right beside him and a chasm of space between them.

Chapter Text

The call from Tifa came as Cloud was leaving Kalm. He knew something was wrong the second he heard her voice. "Cloud?"

Cloud pressed the phone tightly to his ear. "What's wrong?"

"I'm at the hospital." Before he could ask what had happened, she said in a rush. "Shera's here. She's--she's really bad, Cloud. Cid had to bring her here because the medic in Rocket Town didn't have the resources to help her…"

Cloud's grip on his phone tightened. "What happened to her?" His first thought was that maybe there had been an engineering accident, a mishap with oil production or something. He wasn't prepared for the answer Tifa gave him.

"She's…she's having a miscarriage."

There were several seconds of stunned silence on Cloud's part. He hadn't even known Shera was pregnant. He didn't know what to say.

"Yuffie was here but she went to keep an eye on Marlene and Denzel so I could be here for a while."

Cloud finally found his voice. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

He arrived at the hospital in Edge a short time later and quickly found Tifa sitting in a waiting room with Cid. Cid was a wreck, pacing back and forth, his eyes bloodshot and a cigarette dangling from his mouth in complete disregard of the 'no smoking' sign on the wall. Judging from the pile of cigarette stubs on the table, it wasn't his first one. Cid barely turned a glance Cloud's way as he entered, and didn't say anything to him.

Cloud had absolutely no idea what to say, what to ask. He finally said, "How's Shera?"

Cid responded to this with an angry outburst. "How the fuck do you think she is?" He dropped his cigarette onto the floor and stomped on it before crashing onto one of the chairs and burying his face in his hands.

"She's in surgery," Tifa told Cloud softly as he sat slowly beside her. "She lost a lot of blood."

It was a horrible night. Cloud and Tifa stayed with Cid the entire time, as he alternated between smoking, cursing, and deathly silences. They fielded calls from Yuffie and Barret and stepped out of the waiting room to talk to Vincent when he showed up briefly, but Cloud knew Tifa fell as helpless as he did. How could they possibly say or do anything that would help? Even if Shera pulled through, how could anything help ease the pain that would follow, the pain of losing an unborn child?

It was sometime in the middle of the night when a doctor finally came in to tell Cid that Shera was stable. "She's in the recovery ward."

"Why'd she--why'd this happen?" Cid asked hoarsely.

"Sometimes it just happens," the doctor said gently. "Except--"

"Except what?" Cid demanded.

"Your wife had Geostigma. We've come to learn that patients previously infected with the Stigma have a much higher occurrence of miscarriage and other problems with having children. The Jenova cells which caused the Geostigma are inactive in patients who have been cured, but they are still present in the bloodstream. Oftentimes, the mother's bodies register the growing fetus as being a threat or a foreign disease and it results in miscarriage. It also occurs in women who were unaffected by the Stigma, but whose partners suffered from it. We still do not know all the effects the Jenova cells left on our bodies. Now, none of this means that people who once had Geostigma are incapable of having children, but we have found that the risks and complications are higher. Babies who have been born of parents who had Geostigma have been found to often have active Jenova cells within them. We are fortunate to still have a pool of the healing rain in that church, because right now it is the only thing we have found that neutralizes the active cells." The doctor paused. "I know you're far away from thinking about pregnancies in the future, but there is a professor in Mideel who has been studying this problem in greater detail and has been working on ways to help couples who once had Geostigma have more success in having healthy children."

Cid looked angry again--angry and in pain. For a moment, Cloud wondered if he might explode, but he just shook his head. "Just fuckin' take me to my wife."

Geostigma. Jenova cells. Would they ever stop causing pain and suffering to the people in Cloud's life?

Cloud and Tifa stayed where they were, holding hands tightly, while Cid went to see Shera. Tifa looked like she was fighting tears when she looked at Cloud. "It's not fair," she whispered. "Shera told me how much she wanted to start a family." She turned her face away from Cloud. "I don't know what to do, Cloud. I don't know how to help."

Cloud wrapped his arms around her and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Me, neither."

The dozed fitfully against each other for about an hour in the waiting room, but neither of them could really sleep and neither wanted to just abandon their friends at the hospital. Red XIII arrived near dawn and joined them in their wait, so he was there when Cid returned looking wearier than Cloud had ever seen him.

"Shera's not really up for a lot of visitors," he said, "but she'd like to see you, Tifa."

Tifa got to her feet and hurried out of the waiting room. Nanaki turned gravely to Cid. "I mourn for your loss, my friend. The loss of a child is the deepest of pains."

There was only exhaustion in Cid's voice when he said, "Damn right it is."

There was more silence in the room until Tifa returned. Her face was splotchy; she had obviously been crying. Crying for or with her friend for a loss Cloud couldn’t even begin to know. "She's asleep," she told Cid softly, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Cid didn't move for a few moments, but then he swallowed thickly and squeezed Tifa's fingers before saying. "I should be with her when she wakes up."

Tifa watched him walk out of the room and several tears spilled down her cheeks. Her hand sought out Cloud's again, and he grasped it tightly. It had not escaped him that Cid and Shera's situation was one that could potentially be one that he and Tifa were faced with and he immediately shied away from the very notion of it. There was too much danger there. He'd not only suffered from Geostigma; he'd had other experiments done on him. Even if he could have kids after everything done to his body--no.

There was just too much at stake.

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Chapter Thirteen - Two Steps Forward

Tifa woke up in the middle of the night. Again. It seemed to be becoming an almost nightly occurrence. She turned onto her back and glanced over at the space beside her. Cloud was asleep, his face as peaceful as it had been the last time she had watched him like this. He was lying perfectly still on his side of the bed, not touching her at all. She had wondered if he would be the type of person to move around a lot when he was sleeping, stealing blankets or flinging his limbs all over her, but apparently he wasn't.

First she thought nothing in particular had woken her, but a faint sound from downstairs had her straining her ears, her body tingling with a sudden readiness. She knew the doors were locked, but would that stop someone from breaking in?

It was more likely, Tifa told herself as she slipped silently out of bed, that one of the kids had woken up and gone downstairs for something. Sure enough, when she stepped out into the hallway, she saw Denzel's door was open, his bed empty. Marlene's small lamp was on and she was still sound asleep.

Tifa tread lightly down the stairs and saw that there was a light on in the living room. Denzel was sitting on the couch, a glass of water clutched in his hand. His breathing was unsteady and his eyes were squeezed shut. Tifa watched him briefly before softly saying, "Hey."

Denzel jumped and almost spilled his glass of water. His wide eyes found her standing in the doorway. "I'm--I didn't mean to wake you," he said hastily. "I was just thirsty." He stood to his feet, quickly downed his water, and squeezed past her without meeting her eyes. She watched him take the glass into the kitchen. She was sure he was just going to walk right back up the stairs, but he lingered on the bottom step and turned to look at her. "You don't need to worry about me," he told her.

Tifa tilted her head and looked at the firm set of his jaw, the determination flashing in his blue eyes. "I don't?"

Denzel shook his head resolutely. "I've been through a lot worse. I'm not a little kid." His gaze was so solemn and determined, and it was so completely obvious to Tifa that he was hurting just as much as the rest of them, but trying so hard not to show it. Trying so hard to be brave.

He held her gaze for another moment, and then turned and walked back up the stairs. Tifa let out a long sigh when she heard his bedroom door close. She didn't know if there was anything else she could have done, but she wished she knew what to do for Denzel. He was so much harder to figure out than Marlene, who wore her heart right out on her sleeve.

When she went back to the bedroom, she found Cloud awake, propped up on one elbow. "Is everything okay?" he asked quietly as she slid back onto her side of the bed.

"Denzel was downstairs. I think he was having trouble sleeping, but he doesn't want to worry me."

There was a brief silence before Cloud said, "That's just how Denzel is." He lowered himself back onto his pillow, but he was lying on his side, facing her. "You always did know," he said.

Tifa turned her head and was met by those brilliant eyes of his, surprisingly close, and a little jolt shot through her. He had dangerous eyes--eyes a girl could fall into and drown in, so deep and full of life and emotion. It took her a moment to process what he was saying.

"You always knew when Denzel was having a nightmare. He usually goes downstairs for a glass of water to try to calm himself down, and you always seemed to know when he was there." Cloud rolled onto his back and closed his eyes once more, and it was only then that Tifa felt she could properly breathe again.

It was a little easier to fall back asleep than it had been when she had first climbed into bed next to Cloud. When she woke again, it was close to seven in the morning, and the space beside her was empty. She rolled her face into her pillow and took a deep breath. It carried the same scent she had breathed in every time she lay down in the bed, a blend of her shampoo and Cloud's own scent. This morning it smelled even stronger of Cloud, but it didn't seem strange. Instead, it made her stomach clench with a strange loneliness.

She was lonely. She was lost and even in the midst of this family of hers, there was still a gap to close and it was taking all of her energy to hold herself together for them. For herself, too.

At least Seventh Heaven was reopening; it would give her something to keep her mind busy, to keep her hands busy. Swinging out of bed, she set to getting ready for her day. Cloud and Denzel were already awake and eating breakfast, and Marlene joined them a short time later. Before Tifa knew it, the bar was open and swarming with customers. Apparently word had quickly spread that Seventh Heaven was reopening that day, and Tifa's regulars were all anxious to come out and show their support, since word had also gotten around that she had lost her memory.

It was absolute chaos as she spent the day juggling the insanity. Cloud was right beside her the whole time, doing his best to fill her in on each regular customer she saw that day, but it was exhausting. She had so many people chattering at her, asking her questions, asking if she remembered them, telling her stories about who they were and how she knew them. It was overwhelming, but she quickly learned which customers she had once considered trustworthy and which ones she should be more wary of--it was as easy as watching Cloud's body language. Some of the people he was relaxed and calm with, and others who came in made him tense slightly. He had strapped his swords to his back; it wasn't the first time Tifa had seen him wear them, but she'd not yet seen him actually draw a weapon and hoped that today would not be the first time for that.

Aside from that, she found that she was good at reading the customers' body language. There were subtle signs in their motions, their gestures, their eyes, which spoke volumes more than anything they might have said to her. She wondered if noticing these little movements, this instinct that came with it, was from all of the martial arts training she'd had.

She had a list that Cloud had written for her of the names of people who had been banned from the bar, and said he would point them out to her if any of them came in. He had warned her beforehand that there might be some people who came into the bar to take advantage of her amnesia, thinking that if she didn't remember them, they could get away with more. She was very grateful to have Cloud there to help her sort it all out.

At the start of the day, she was a little uncertain about how she would handle customers, but she soon fell into the rhythm of serving drinks and cooking food, and any initial shyness she might have felt disappeared almost instantly. She realized that she needed to be calm and confident, to keep control over what was happening for the safety of everyone involved. So she talked, smiled, and was kind to the customers despite her own dizzying sense of direction. If her patrons got too rowdy or tried to drink too much, she didn't hesitate in how she dealt with the situation. Her thoughts were on Marlene and Denzel when she told one man that he'd had quite enough to drink for the evening; she never wanted to see a situation in which someone was drunk enough to possibly hurt one of the kids.

Marlene and Denzel both helped take the meals and drinks to the table until they were sent to bed at nine. At ten, every customer was ushered out. Cloud locked up and turned to Tifa, who was staring around the bar in exhaustion. "Is it always like this?"

Cloud started collecting dishes off the tables and setting them on the counter. "Today was busier than usual," he said. "I guess your customers were just happy to see you."

Tifa began filling the bar sink with soapy water, but she was distant and a little dazed. Cloud paused on his way to the kitchen. "Tifa?"

She blinked at him and a smile touched her tired face. "Guess we get to do it all over again tomorrow?" She plunged her hands into the sink and spoke with determination. "I'm ready."

A slow smile spread across Cloud's face, and he nodded at her before grabbing the broom. She was struck again by what a great smile he had, and she found herself beaming down at her soapy water, suddenly a little less tired and more cheered than she had been throughout the entire hectic day.

:--:--:--:--:

If there was one thing Cloud could say about Tifa's regulars, it was that they were very loyal. He didn't always appreciate the way a few of them eyed Tifa, but he took some solace in the fact that she could still kick their balls up their asses if she needed to. He was really, really relieved to see how she handled them during the first day. Like in so many other ways, the Tifa he knew emerged. It gave him a lot more confidence that she could pick up running the bar again.

He and Tifa cleaned the bar together companionably, without any strained or strange moments for once, and when they were done, Tifa went to take a shower. Cloud checked on the kids and then headed into his and Tifa's room, stopping and eyeing their bed as if it had betrayed him. Sighing, he sank onto it and buried his hands in his hair. Deep breath in and out, and then he stood to get changed before Tifa was out of the shower. He had just finished changing when a sudden yell came from the bathroom, followed by a crashing noise and a muffled shout.

Cloud was at the bathroom door in a heartbeat, his hand already turning the doorknob before he caught himself. "Tifa?" he called through the door. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay!"

He might have believed her if her voice hadn't been so strained. There was another thump and the shower turned off. "Ow, ow, ow," he heard Tifa gasp.

"Tifa?"

Another hiss of pain, and then, "Damn it!"

Now more worried for Tifa than what she might think if he burst in on her, he pushed open the bathroom door. Tifa was standing in front of the sink with a towel wrapped around her, splashing water on her face. There were soapsuds in her hair and blood was pouring down her leg.

She twisted away from the sink as Cloud strode into the room. She was blinking and squinting, her eyes red. Cloud grabbed her shoulders and steered her to the edge of the bathtub. "Sit." He reached into the cupboard for the first aid kit they kept upstairs. He turned to Tifa, whose expression was embarrassed, even though she was still blinking rapidly, water streaming out of her reddened eyes. "What happened?" He knelt in front of her, searching for the source of the blood, trying to focus on the fact that he was doing first aid and not on the fact that Tifa was wrapped only in a towel, her skin wet and smooth and damn, what was wrong with him? Tifa was hurt and he was thinking about her naked?

He finally found the source of the bleeding; she had a long gash on the back of her leg. Tifa grew more flustered as he pressed an extra towel against it. "I-I can take care of it, Cloud."

"Can you even see?" Cloud asked skeptically.

"Umm…"

"Right. What happened?" he repeated his question.

"I got soap in my eyes." Tifa rubbed at her eyes again with one hand, the other clutching the towel closed at her chest. Her body stiffened as Cloud pushed the towel more tightly to her cut. "Th-the water turned ice cold all of a sudden. I knocked the shampoo into the shower and scraped my leg on the faucet. I was just startled..."

"Hold this here." Cloud waited until Tifa was holding the extra towel to her own leg before grabbing some alcohol swabs. "I should have thought to warn you about the water. And the power. Sometimes the hot water suddenly stops working for a little while, or the power shuts off. It's a part of living in Edge. Just be glad we're not in Junon." The gash on her leg wasn't deep enough to need stitches or a potion, but it was still deeper than just a surface scratch. He knew their faucet was an old, used piece that had been scavenged from Midgar when they were building the bar, not in the best shape, but it was functional. "This will sting." He pushed the towel away from her steadily bleeding cut and wiped alcohol over it.

Her body tensed again and her hands clenched the edge of the bathtub. Probably more to distract herself than anything else, she asked, "What's wrong with Junon?"

"Do you remember anything about their Underwater Reactor?"

"N-not really."

"Well, they used to have underwater Mako reactor. It's since been converted into an underwater facility that's supposed to use water for electricity. More than half of Junon runs on hydroelectricity now, but they have a lot more power outages than we have here. Still, the engineers keep working on it, and it's better than Mako. The planet's slowly healing itself." The people were healing too, learning to live and work with the planet instead of against it. Then it always seemed like something came up and disrupted it all over again. Geostigma. Deepground. Monster attacks on schools.

Cloud put medicine and a large bandage over Tifa's cut, then nodded and rolled back on his heels. He looked up into her eyes and found her blinking had stopped. She was staring at him with stunned look, as if he had just hit her upside the head instead of patching her up. Her fingers went to her right cheek, her wide gaze fixed on his face. "I remember," she whispered. "I--you--the bar. There was a fight. You came in during a fight, I think. You had your sword. And you…" She lowered her hand from her cheek. "You put a bandage on my cheek. You were worried and I was trying to clean up broken glass…"

Cloud knew exactly the moment she was talking about. He kept gaze on hers as she searched his face for…what?

"I remember you." There as a tremulous note in Tifa's voice, and she ducked her head. "I remember you…" She shook her head and stood up, and Cloud stood with her. "I-I need to get dressed. A-And I still have shampoo in my hair." She sounded like she might start crying.

Cloud knew that was his cue to leave. He stepped out of the bathroom and as soon as Tifa closed the door behind him, he leaned against the wall. Tifa had remembered him. She had remembered something and it was about him and it wasn't horrible. Yes, that moment in the bar that she recalled had led to a lecture from her, but it had been one of the major steps in bringing them together.

He peeled himself away from the wall and went to their room to sit on the edge of their bed. He was still sitting there when Tifa came in, dressed in her pajamas, her damp hair spilling down her back. She hesitated by the bed, and then slowly came and sat down next to him. She was quiet for a moment, and then said, "Can you tell me what happened then? I don't even know if you know what memory I'm talking about, but I--I think we might have had a fight, but I don't know. I remember I was frustrated. You were being protective and I was frustrated."

Cloud glanced at her. Her expression was open and she was much calmer than she had been in the bathroom. She was so close and it was all he could do to keep looking at her, with her gaze so open and searching. Her shoulder was almost touching his and she looked so vulnerable, so beautiful--he was going to go crazy. He was already going crazy.

He heard himself talking, forcing the words out past his lips. He was surprised how in control of his voice he sounded. "It was last year, just before we got engaged. You lectured me."

Tifa tilted her head sideways. "About what?"

"Getting over my insecurities and just letting myself be with you. Mm." He nodded once. "And letting you be with me."

Her eyes lingered on his a moment longer. "Guess the lecture worked, hm?" she said softly.

Cloud tore his gaze away from hers. "Yeah."

He was torn between relief and disappointment when she moved back to the other side of the bed. She pulled out the black journal he had given her and opened it. Cloud waited until she was writing in it before turning completely and lying on his pillow while she sat beside him, recording her most recent memory.

A memory of him.

He knew that he should be beyond happy that she had finally, finally remembered him and that it wasn't a memory of him doing something horrible. He was, but as he closed his eyes and listened to the faint scuffle of paper as Tifa wrote about him in her journal, he was also just lonely.

Chapter Text

It came up one night when Cloud and Tifa were sitting on the front steps of Seventh Heaven. It was warm, the air heavy with the promise of rain, and Tifa was leaning against Cloud, her head on his shoulder.

"I talked to Shera today," Tifa told him.

"How's she doing?" Cloud asked. It had been three months since her miscarriage and he knew that Cid and Shera had been really struggling. Though he had never experienced what they were going through, he suspected their pain wasn't one that would ever be forgotten. It could heal in time, but nothing would ever be able to fix or replace their lost child.

"She's okay. She's…" Here, Tifa hesitated. "She's going to Mideel to see Professor Dorne. To see if it's possible for her to carry another baby in the future. To see if he can help her."

Cloud wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. If Cid and Shera wanted to try again in the future, good for them. He couldn't imagine trying to do that again. The thought of trying it once was bad enough.

Tifa's next words completely took him by surprise. "I want to go with her."

He moved his head back, forcing her to lift her head off of his shoulder, so he could look at her more properly. His first thought was that she wanted to go with Shera as moral support, but something in her eyes stopped him cold, and he cautiously said, "Isn't Cid going with her?"

"Yes. But Cloud--I mean I want to go see Professor Dorne myself."

Now much more certain of Tifa's intentions, Cloud turned to face her completely. "Why?" She couldn't really be serious. She couldn't really be thinking what he thought she was thinking…

"I want to find out more about what he's doing." Tifa met his eyes squarely. "So that maybe one day we can have kids?" Her last was more of a question.

Cloud's stomach plummeted somewhere to the vicinity of his toes. He had known, somewhere deep down, that this subject would come up eventually, but it wasn't one he wanted to discuss. Not now, not ever. He wasn't blind; he had seen the way Tifa's eyes lit up whenever a parent with a baby came into Seventh Heaven. Still…they had only been married for four months. Couldn't she just be happy with him and Marlene and Denzel? Did they really have to get into this? "No."

"Cloud--"

"Tifa." Agitated, he stood up. She rose to her feet with him, never taking her eyes off of his. "I don't want to talk about this."

"I know." Tifa took his hand. "But, Cloud--"

" No," he said more sharply. "I don't want you to have my kids."

He saw the hurt that flashed through her eyes, and she withdrew her hand and folded her arms across her chest. "You'd rather I have someone else's?"

His eyes narrowed. "You know what I meant. We have Denzel and Marlene. Isn't that enough? If you want more kids, why can't we just adopt?"

"That would be nice, too, sometime," Tifa told him, "but I don't see why we couldn't have one together, too."

"I might not even be able to give you kids, Tifa!"

"You're not even willing to find out!"

"You were at the hospital with Cid and Shera," Cloud said, trying to keep his voice low so he wouldn't attract the attention of the people walking past on the darkened street. "Do you want to go through that?"

"No, I don't," Tifa said, her tone matching his, "and there's no guarantee I would go through it!"

"There's no guarantee you wouldn't!"

"Which is why I want to go see Professor Dorne. I knew you'd feel this way which is why I want to get all the information I can first."

"You think some professor is going to be able to help?" Cloud demanded. "Because he studies this? He doesn’t know me, Tifa; I'm not like every other Geostigma patient out there. I spent four years--"

"You think I don't know?" Tifa's eyes flashed in pain or anger--or both. "You think I don't have any idea what you went through? You think I don't wish it could have been different for you, Cloud? But it's not different, and wishing isn't going to change anything. What we have is now. How long did it take you to even be with me because you were scared of what your experiments might do to me?"

Cloud's jaw clenched. "We still don't know that it hasn't done something to you."

"And if it did? Is it going to change our marriage? Is it going to mean anything in our relationship with each other now? I'm fine, Cloud."

"Having a baby is different," Cloud retorted. "It could die. You could die."

"I could get hit by a car and die," Tifa said. "I could get shot or stabbed or struck by lightning or--"

"Stop it."

"I'm not invulnerable, Cloud, it's not a secret!"

"I don't want you seeing some damn professor so he can poke and prod at you!" Cloud snapped loudly, drawing an odd glance from a passing woman.

Tifa got very quiet, and then she said, "Not every professor is like Hojo. Professor Dorne has set up a large facility in Mideel. He has a lot of people working for him, and Reeve hires him sometimes--"

"Reeve hires a lot of people. It doesn't mean they're all trustworthy."

"It doesn't mean that every professor who studies Jenova cells is automatically untrustworthy! I'm willing to take this risk. Some things are worth fighting for."

"This isn't one of them!" As soon as the words were out of Cloud's mouth, he wished he could take them back. He hadn't meant it that way. This was just too much. More than he wanted to think about.

But the words were out and the damage was done. The hurt was set deeply in Tifa's eyes. She kept watching him steadily, her lips pressed together tightly. She nodded slowly, and somehow the gesture of acceptance was worse than if she had just yelled at him and stormed inside. She looked like she was fighting with herself about whether or not to say something else, but when she spoke it was just to say, "I'm going to bed. Good night, Cloud."

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Fourteen - Shards

The ringing of a phone jolted Cloud awake not long after he'd finally fallen asleep. He was grabbing his cell phone off of his dresser and answering it before it had completed its second ring, his eyes registering the name on the screen as he flipped it open. "Yuffie."

"Cloud!" Yuffie's voice was loud and way too awake. "Cloud, I have news! Not good news but not bad news, either. I guess it's just strange, really. Well, yeah, strange--"

"Yuffie, if you don't start making sense soon I'm hanging up and going back to bed." Cloud turned and saw Tifa sitting up in bed, watching him curiously through bleary eyes.

"We found the monster that attacked the school! At least, we think it's the same one; it matches the descriptions and I don't think I've ever seen anything so grotesque in my life--except maybe Vinnie's coffin--but don't go telling anybody till we know for sure. I mean, about this maybe being the monster, not Vinnie's coffin. Like that's a secret," she scoffed.

Cloud's mind was racing to catch up. "You…found it? Where? How?"

"It's dead," Yuffie told him. "Very, very dead. Definitely not a Summon. The thing's so enormously huge I don't know how we're gonna move it. Think I'm gonna have to call in Cid and his airship division and let him figure it out."

"Yuffie, you're not being very clear," Cloud said impatiently, scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Where are you?"

"Eh, somewhere in the mountains between Edge and Junon. Remember those reports I was investigating? Yeah, well, one of them was from some mountain man who said he saw a monster flying overhead and that it sure didn't look indignant to that region."

"…indigenous?"

"That's what I said! Geez, Cloud, pay attention! Anyway, guess the monster didn't fly much farther 'cause we found it dead not far from some dinky little village out here. And holy Leviathan, it stinks something terrible." There was a muffled noise as Yuffie talked to someone in the background, and then she said, "Gotta go! More stuff to do and this thing's gonna take me the rest of the night, and I've already been here all night. I've still gotta go by Professor Dorkus's in Mideel and then I'm swinging by Mt. Nibel and then I'm done--well, at least for now--and I'm coming for dinner at your place as soon as I'm back. Talk to you later!"

Mt. Nibel ? Cloud stared at his phone as Yuffie hung up before setting it back on the dresser.

"Did something happen?" Tifa asked.

Cloud sat on the edge of the bed with a long sigh. "Yuffie thinks they may have found the monster that attacked the school." It was sinking in that maybe they had actually taken a step toward figuring out something about the attack on the school, though maybe not. What answers could they get from a dead monster except to know that it wasn't a Summon?

It's something, Cloud told himself firmly. If nothing else, if this is the same monster, we'll at least have some relief in knowing it's dead.

"That's good news, right?"

"Yeah. There's just…" Cloud hesitated.

The bed squeaked as Tifa moved over to sit next to him. "Just?"

"Still a lot of questions." Sighing, he glanced over at Tifa, who looked as wide-eyed as he felt. He doubted he would be getting anymore sleep that night, even though it was only four in the morning.

Tifa stretched her arms in front of her and then flopped back on the bed. "I'm starting to think I'll never sleep through the night," she said wryly. She lay there for a moment and then bounced back up off the bed. "Do you want coffee?"

Cloud rubbed a hand across his face. "Sure."

He and Tifa went quietly downstairs. Tifa made coffee while Cloud opened the blinds on the front windows, and then they sat at a booth with their coffees and he filled her in on Yuffie's short phone call. He paused after he mentioned Mt. Nibel. He didn't quite know why it bothered him that Yuffie was about to investigate something in Mt. Nibel. Though he hadn't lived there in years, hadn't even visited in years, he just always got a sense of foreboding when anything remotely strange happened there. Maybe because so many, many terrible things had occurred there over the years.

Tifa's forehead creased and she tilted her head. "Is something wrong?" Before he could answer, she said, "Mt. Nibel's where Nibelheim is, right? Where we…grew up?"

"Yeah." Since Tifa was still watching him curiously, he expounded on it a little. "Mt. Nibel's a death trap for people who don't know their way through it." That brought up more memories for him…of Tifa leading the way through the mountains, when he was wearing his helmet to keep her from seeing his face.

He had been such a stupid kid.

"There's a…geyser where the Lifestream comes to the surface there. Like in Mideel. Right?" Tifa asked, bringing his mind back from the darkness of those last days in Nibelheim before Sephiroth destroyed his home and family, before Hojo destroyed his body and mind.

"Yeah." Cloud frowned into his coffee. "There are other places where the Lifestream didn't used to come to the surface, but does now, usually in places where Mako reactors used to be. The theory is that once we stopped using the Mako reactors, the Lifestream gushed into some of the places where we had sucked the planet dry to compensate for the energy we used. There are now surface pools of the Lifestream where there were once Mako reactors in Corel and Junon, and one that came up in Midgar after Deepground." He looked out the window, beyond where his exhausted reflection was staring back at him, out at the dark street.

"Cloud?"

Tifa's voice was hesitant, and Cloud turned his gaze back to her. "Hm?"

Tifa's hands tightened on her coffee cup, and she wore a familiar look--the one where she seemed to be trying to figure out if she should say something or not. He waited, but after a moment she shook her head. "Never mind."

Something in his stomach clenched. There were those words--even if Tifa didn't know it, didn't realize it--that she had always used to avoid confrontations. And for some reason, it sent a surge of frustration through him. "What?" he pressed, and there was a mild edge to his voice that he hadn't meant to have there.

Tifa frowned a little, but slowly said, "I was just thinking that maybe at some point I should go to Nibelheim. That maybe it would help me remember more."

Cloud let out a deep breath. It certainly might help her remember more--most of the things she had remembered so far had been painful memories, or memories triggered by something painful--Marlene screaming because of a nightmare, a cut on Tifa's leg. Nibelheim was a positive roiling mass of pain in her past.

"I'm not saying right now," Tifa said hurriedly. "We just opened the bar again and everything, but maybe sometime soon. Dr. Anglo told me that sometimes remembering one thing can trigger a lot of other memories related to that first memory. Chained memories, he called it, but so far that hasn't happened yet. I don't know if it will, but it seems to me that a lot of things that happened in my life were in Nibelheim." She studied his face. "I know bad things happened there, but surely there are good memories, too?"

Cloud thought immediately of a starry night, sitting with Tifa at the well, a promise between them… "A few," he said quietly.

:--:--:--:--:

Tifa's second day back at the bar was just as chaotic as the first one, but she had a much easier time handling it, at least when it started. The first part of the day went smoothly. Though she was tired, the constant stream of customers (and several cups of coffee) kept her going.

Denzel went out in the morning and returned pushing Aria inside in her wheelchair. She spent the day there, too, and she tried to help Marlene and Denzel in their tasks around Seventh Heaven. This was made very difficult with the wheelchair, and after watching her struggle, Tifa pulled Aria into helping her make drinks. She wondered briefly it was entirely appropriate to be teaching an eleven-year-old girl how to mix alcoholic drinks, until she found out that Aria knew how to do it already. Marlene said pointedly, "She helps here a lot. I've been doing it half my life."

Just after the dinner rush, things went downhill. Denzel had left to take Aria home, and Marlene was helping Cloud with drinks while Tifa was in the kitchen. Tifa heard a loud shout, followed by a stream of cursing, and she quickly dropped what she was doing and ran out of the kitchen into the bar. The sight that met her eyes set her mind reeling.

Cloud was standing in front of Marlene with a sword drawn, holding it over a man who was lifting his hands up in a gesture of surrender, a horrified look on his face. She saw what was happening, clear as anything, but in her head she was seeing something entirely different.

Standing in the Mako reactor...pain and hatred, absolute rage was pouring through every part of her. She hated them, hated what they had done, but most of all she hated the man standing at the top of the stairs. "Sephiroth! How dare you do this to Father?" Her father, dead outside, body still warm. "How dare you do this to everyone in the village?" Her home, burning, burning to the ground.

She ran at him, sword held high, his sword, that had slain her father and she hated him, she wanted him dead and she was blind to anything but her anguish and fury. But he caught the sword and lifted her off her feet. Her burning eyes met his as the sword was pulled from her grasp and Sephiroth sliced her across her chest, cutting deep and she was falling, falling backwards, tumbling down the steps…

Her heart was racing as she watched Cloud make the man in front of his sword leave the bar. Her hand was pressed against the scar on her chest and her breathing was coming out in short little bursts.

The bar was perfectly silent, but as soon as the man who had caused the disturbance--whatever it was--was out the door and Cloud had put his sword away, conversations resumed as if this was a perfectly normal occurrence.

Tifa walked around the counter, trying to keep herself calm as she approached Marlene, who was bent on the ground, trying to pick up several large pieces of glass. "Marlene? Are you okay?"

Marlene nodded. "Yes, I'm fine."

"I'll take care of this," Tifa said. Broom. She needed to get a broom. Before she could move, Cloud crouched next to them and took the glass from Marlene. "What happened?" she asked him.

"It's my fault," Marlene said. "I spilled his drink on him and dropped the glass."

Cloud's face was a complete mask, but his eyes were smoldering. "He was about to hit her." To Marlene, he said, "Go sit down for a minute, okay?"

Marlene nodded and went to sit at one of the empty barstools. She didn't look fazed; her lips were pressed together and her eyes were shining with determination. Tifa supposed after growing up in this environment, she would be used to all sorts of situations.

Cloud let out a long breath. "Two days in and already a troublemaker," he muttered. "I'm sure things will calm down once we've been back in business for a little longer. There've been new people visiting Edge this week anyway, after what happened with the school." He took the glass in his hand to the trash behind the counter and grabbed the broom that Tifa had neglected to get. While he cleaned up the rest of the mess, Tifa went back behind the counter and turned toward the wall on the pretense of looking at the bottles of alcohol on the shelf there, but her eyes were no longer focusing on anything. All she could see was the memory she had just recalled. The emotions raged through her, fresh and strong…the hate had been so powerful, so overwhelming…the agony of loss…then the physical pain, her body broken…

At least she knew where her scar had come from.

"Tifa?" Cloud's face swam into her vision. He was peering at her worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"I--" She couldn't even say yes, couldn't get the word past her lips. Silently, she nodded. Pull it together, pull it together…there are customers to take care of. Marlene…pull it together.

"Tifa." Cloud's voice was more urgent. "Marlene's okay."

"It's not…that…" she whispered. Her hand went again to her chest, to her scar, and Cloud's eyes followed her shaky fingers.

"Did you just remember something?" When she still didn't answer, he asked, "Did you remember how you got that scar?"

Her eyes were blurry, but she wasn't sure if it was because she still couldn't focus or because there were tears there. "Yes." She took a deep breath, straightening and trying her hardest to shake the image. It suddenly struck her as terribly ironic that she had been trying so desperately to recall her lost life, and when she remembered something like this she was doing her best not to think about it.

Cloud's eyes were concerned, and he opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was got interrupted when one of the customers at the counter called for a refill.

The rest of the night, Tifa felt like she was swimming in a daze. When they finally closed Seventh Heaven for the day, she focused every bit of attention she had on scrubbing the dishes spotless. Cloud stopped beside her at the sink.

"Tifa?" He leaned against the sink, searching her face, and she barely met his gaze. "Do you want to talk about what you remembered?"

Her home, burning to the ground…

"No." The word came out too quickly, and she didn't even know if she meant it.

Her father, dying with her name on his lips…

Cloud was still there, still watching her. She was torn, so torn and why was this so hard? Remembering this shouldn't really have such an effect on her, should it? She had known it before, must have found a way to deal with it, right? But with so few memories, she had nothing to balance out all of the pain she was finding in her past. There were no memories of days of sunshine and laughter and goodness, only aching and frustration, nightmares and sickness and death. She had one memory, one memory from her past of Cloud that she could cling to in which she remembered him gently bandaging her face.

Standing behind Sephiroth, sword in hand…

Tifa turned deliberately back to the sink, focusing on the glass in her hand. Wash, rinse, set aside to dry. She had to deal with this. If she couldn't handle the remembrance of this tragedy, how could she expect to handle anything else? She had to hold herself together. She had been out of the hospital for five days; if she broke down before even a week had passed, what would that say for the next week, or the one after that?

A gentle hand touched her shoulder and turned her around, so that she was trying to avoid Cloud's eyes through the tears that blinded hers. He didn't say anything else, but even through her blurry vision she could see that his expression was one of worry and an unveiled tenderness. She closed her eyes and the tears slid silently down her cheeks. She felt the brush of Cloud's thumb wiping them away.

As if that was all the opening she had needed, she flung her arms around him, holding him close, a desperate, helpless embrace. She shook with the effort of holding in the scream that wanted release. Her hands were wet and soapy as she pressed them to his back, but it didn't matter. Her world, her mind, everything felt like it was teetering on the edge.

Cloud wrapped her tightly in his arms, solid and reassuring. He didn't speak; he just held her, and that was what she needed. Maybe it was what he needed, too. Keeping her eyes closed, she let her tension and frustration out with every exhale, concentrating on Cloud's slow, steady breathing, on his hand gently stroking her hair. It was soothing and almost familiar. She had no idea how long she and Cloud stood there clinging to each other, but if she just didn't move, then for that moment she could really have a sense of completion, could really believe that maybe she had always fit there in his arms.

Chapter Text

It was an hour before Cloud climbed the stairs to his and Tifa's room. He wavered in the doorway, wondering if he dared go inside. He was frustrated and after working through some of that, he had ultimately come to just feel, more than anything, guilty.

Steeling himself, he took a step into the room. "Tifa?" He knew before he said her name that she was awake, because she shifted toward him when she heard his feet step into the room. Several more steps and he was next to the bed. He sat down on the edge of it and met her eyes. "I'm…sorry," he said slowly. "I shouldn't have said it that way. I just…"

Tifa wove her fingers through Cloud's. He gripped her hand tightly, knowing then that she had forgiven him for his harsh words. "Cloud…" She bit her lip. "I'm not going to lie. I really, really would like to at least find out if we could even have kids…but Cloud?" Her free hand went to his face, fingertips gently grazing down his cheek. "I love you. I'm happy just being with you. With kids of our own or without, that's not going to change how I love you. If this isn't something you want--"

"Tifa," he interrupted. "It's not that…I…" He closed his eyes. "I'm not ready to think about this right now. I just…I don't know if I'll ever be ready." He opened his eyes and met hers. What the hell was wrong with him? He was selfish. Tifa hardly ever asked for anything, and even if she did and someone wasn't willing to give, she didn't demand. She was always, always putting everyone else's needs and wants and dreams in front of her own. Had anything changed? How often did she ever outright tell him something she truly wanted?

Couldn't he at the very least find out, for Tifa's sake, if he could give her kids and what the risks were? It wasn't even that they'd have to have a child, but to just know…was that really so much to ask? Why did he always have to immediately think of the worst case scenario for any situation?

Because even though not everything in life was going to be a worst case scenario, all it took was one thing to happen and then life went to hell. He had just finally, finally really gotten Tifa…she would say that he had always had her, and that was true. But he had finally let himself have her completely, and he hated the idea of exploring anything that had potential to hurt her or to take her away from him.

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Chapter Fifteen - Puzzle Pieces

Standing next to the bar sink, holding Tifa in his arms while the back of his shirt got soaked with soapy water from her hands, was the best moment of Cloud's week. Even though he knew Tifa was holding him for comfort, even though he knew maybe she was only holding him because there was no one else there, he just didn't care. She was letting him give some comfort, and for this moment, there were no uncertainties or questions or fumbling between them. It was just them.

Tifa was shaking, her fingers clenching and unclenching on his shirt as she took steadying breaths. He understood more than anyone could the agony of what she had just remembered. Even in the pain of that moment, though, Cloud was just happy to get to have any contact with her at all. As he felt the tension slowly drain out of Tifa, it released its hold on him at the same time. For those few minutes, everything seemed to make sense. He had needed this. He had needed this more than he had even begun to realize.

When Tifa finally took a step back, her hands caught his, keeping the contact, and she whispered, "Thank you."

She looked completely exhausted, her eyes half-closed as she glanced at the stacks of dishes. Cloud squeezed her hands. "Leave it. You're tired. I'll take care of it."

"I can do it," she insisted, but she yawned and Cloud tugged on her hands.

"Come on," he said firmly. He had long learned with Tifa that if there was work to be done, she always tried to do it no matter what state she was in. With memories or without, he had discovered that part of Tifa remained unchanged.

Tifa threw another look at the dishes, but when he gently pulled her toward the stairs, she finally stumbled after him. He made sure she went to lie down in bed--even Tifa needed someone to look after her sometimes--and then went downstairs and washed the dishes. By the time he got back up to their bedroom, Tifa was asleep. He got into bed as quietly as he could, trying not to disturb her, but her eyes blinked open dazedly when his weight shifted the bed. He really wasn't surprised; he and Tifa had both trained their minds and bodies to sleep lightly--it had often been a matter of survival.

He was surprised, however, when Tifa mumbled, "Hm...Cloud…" and her eyes drifted closed, but she rolled toward him, one hand flopping onto his chest. Cloud froze, staring at her, not sure if she had reached out to him on purpose or because she was mostly asleep. He waited for her to move, to withdraw her touch, but she didn't. Finally, tentatively, he covered her hand with his and closed his eyes. Her hand was still warming him when he fell asleep.

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Things were easier between Cloud and Tifa the next couple days, as if the moment Tifa had allowed herself to draw comfort from Cloud had opened a door between them. Things certainly weren't what Cloud would consider normal between them--not normal as it had been two weeks earlier, when Tifa had her memories--but it was a start. In some ways, it made things much easier between Cloud and Tifa, but at the same time, it was even more difficult. Though they were--he hoped--taking small steps toward rebuilding their relationship, it was still a far cry from what it had been. The familiarity, the intimacy, they were still not there, so in some respects, no matter how much he was grateful for the steps forward, they were also slowly driving him crazy. It was irritating and he kept telling himself to just be thankful for what he had, to be happy that Tifa was trying as much as she was.

As Tifa got into the swing of running the bar, things at least began to take on a more familiar pattern. It was good for all of them, but especially the kids. They had needed something to do to keep them busy. It didn't make their problems go away, but it made it a little easier to bear the burdens. Marlene was stuck like glue to Tifa's side, and Cloud was glad for that. They both seemed a little brighter when they were interacting. And after Marlene spent one day with Suki, the closest friend she had that had not died in the school, she came home more genuinely cheered than Cloud had seen her all week.

Cloud was a lot more concerned for Denzel, who was plowing forward with an almost single-minded intensity. Denzel spent a lot of time with Aria; every day they opened the bar, she was there in her wheelchair. Cloud suspected that she was having a hard time adjusting to life in her home with the obvious deaths of the others who had lived there. Denzel and Marlene's friends had always been welcome at Seventh Heaven, and it wouldn't be the first time it had been used as a refuge for them. Izzi, on the other hand, was barely around at all, and when Cloud asked Denzel about his whereabouts at one point, Denzel shook his head. "Aria and I are trying to see him, but he says he's busy." He looked at his feet, and then back up at Cloud. "I don't think he wants to see us a lot."

"Why do you think that is?" Cloud asked.

Denzel had an answer immediately. "Because Aria and I both got hurt at least a little at the school and he didn't get hurt at all." He shrugged a little.

Cloud knew exactly what he meant. These children had survived so much already, and it was only natural that some of them had guilt about it. Sometimes they could only take so much before it built up and spilled over. And as he observed Denzel, Cloud knew that Izzi was not the only one who was struggling with it, and he also knew Denzel had been doing his best to avoid actually talking about it.

On the fourth day after reopening Seventh Heaven, Yuffie bounced in the bar with typical Yuffie-energy and flung herself on the nearest victim, which happened to be Denzel. He was holding a drink in his good hand and managed to keep from spilling it when Yuffie tackled him and ruffled his hair.

Denzel took it in stride. "Hi, Yuffie."

"Hey, Denz! And hey, it's Aria! They put you to work even with those legs broken?"

Aria waved from the other side of the room and called, "Yeah, Cloud and Tifa are just total tyrants."

Cloud threw a towel at Aria, who caught it and flapped it in the air like a flag, a grin on her face.

Yuffie laughed. "I always knew I liked that kid. Hey, Cloud!" She wiggled her fingers at Cloud as he filled several drinks behind the counter. "Where's Tifa? And where's my Marls?"

"Marlene's taking a nap." She'd had a rough night, waking up with several nightmares and then not sleeping well. Tifa had spent half the night with her in Marlene's bed. "Tifa's making dinner."

"Perfect! I'm totally staying for that." Yuffie scanned the bar's customers before hopping onto one of the barstools and propping her elbows on the counter. "I know, I know, it's not dinner alone with you guys, but I'll make up for that on your next day off. I promised Tifa I'd cook, so she wouldn't have to worry about it."

Denzel froze on his way past the counter and gave Cloud a look of pure trepidation. Cloud winced inwardly and made a mental note to tell Tifa she wasn't supposed to let Yuffie anywhere near the kitchen. Ever.

"How's about a drink?" Yuffie said, looking expectantly at Cloud. "I'm gonna need one if I'm gonna tell you what my last couple of days have been like."

She did look tired, though Cloud doubted anyone who didn't know her well would ever have noticed. He silently poured her a drink and then leaned on the counter. "What were you investigating at Mt. Nibel, Yuffie?"

"Well," she said after a huge gulp of ale, "originally I was going that way because there were some reports of some weird monsters spotted in the area--I dunno about that, because we didn't see hide or hair of any weird monsters. Saw plenty of normal ones, though. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Mt. Nibel? But yeah, when I got there, there was a search going on for a little girl. Her grandmother insisted she wouldn't have run off into the mountains, but they were looking anyway. Not a sight of her, either. Basically, I found a big fat nothing in Nibelheim."

Yuffie took another drink of her alcohol. "At any rate," she continued, "the giant monster carcass we did find was hauled to the WRO lab for testing. Well, outside the lab, 'cause it couldn't really fit through the doors. We'll see if they can find anything. I guess Reeve's gonna see if Professor Dorkus can just come up from Mideel if they need him to examine the body, which means I took that scale out to him for nothing, huh? Looked like he had his hands full, too. There was some sort of tremors that ruined part of the Prof's facility. That's what he gets for setting up right on top of the Lifestream, though." Yuffie frowned a little. "You don't think the Lifestream could be responsible for this wacko monster, do you?"

"How could it be?" Cloud asked in confusion.

Yuffie shrugged. "I don't know. What about that negative Lifestream thing--you know, the part of the Lifestream that's tainted with Jenova's cells or whatever? Didn't the trio of Sephiroth wannabes use it to call Shadow Creepers and stuff? I mean, we don't know if that part of the Lifestream ever really went away. Professor Dorne says we're only adding to it when a person who was infected with Jenova cells dies." She shook her head. "I don't know, Cloud. It's just giving everyone one massive headache. Maybe the monster body will tell us something." She sighed, and then her face smoothed over. "So speaking of the good ol' Prof," she began, raising her eyebrows at him, "do you and Tifa have any plans to pop out a kid or …oh, wait!" She leaned closer to Cloud, her eyes wide. "Are you two even…oh, you've gotta be kidding me. You're not even sleeping with your own wife, are you? All because of some stupid amnesia?"

Cloud gave Yuffie a sharp look that very clearly told her to back off. "Yuffie," he began warningly, but he got no further because Tifa came from the kitchen, carrying a large bowl of food, which she set on the counter.

"Tifa!" Yuffie stood up on the stool, flipped over the counter and landed nimbly on the other side. She flung her arms around Tifa, who blinked in surprise.

"Oh! Hi, Yuffie."

"I was just telling Cloud about the craziness but lack of absolutely anything substantial in Nibelheim." Yuffie sent a significant look Cloud's way, but to his relief she said nothing more about personal matters between him and Tifa. "And I had the most brilliant idea while I was in Mideel!" Yuffie clasped her hands together as she looked excitedly between Cloud and Tifa. "I mean, I'm a total genius. I had the best idea about how to help Tifa get her memories back! We take her to Mideel--or even to the pool of Mako that's in Midgar now--and she jumps into the Lifestream!"

Cloud stared at her. "What?"

Tifa frowned, but her expression was confused rather than shocked. "What?" she echoed.

Yuffie began twirling around in circles. "The Lifestream's where the planet's memories and consciousness and everything are, right? It might unlock something in your head, Tifa! And hey, it worked for you, Cloud."

Cloud kept staring at Yuffie. There were so many things wrong with her idea that he didn't even know where to start.

Tifa, however, turned to Cloud. "What does she mean it worked for you?"

Yuffie stopped her twirling and faced Cloud. "You haven't told her?" Shaking her head, she faced Tifa. "I mean when Cloud was all comatose and his head was so screwed around that he thought he was someone he wasn't and he fell with you into the Lifestream and you helped patch his crazy head and memories back together."

Tifa's expression grew more bewildered. "...what?"

"That was different, Yuffie," Cloud interrupted. Did she really think he hadn't already thought through that? That he hadn't thought through anything that could help Tifa get her memories back? "I didn't have a head injury," he said. "My consciousness had copied the ego of someone else into my head. It was caused by Jenova cells, not by damage to my brain."

"It still might work," Yuffie said.

"It's not likely," Cloud retorted, really wishing he wasn't having this discussion with Tifa right there. "Jumping into the Lifestream would only be dangerous. There's no guarantee she would even be able to get out again."

"The Lifestream sort of spits out people who are still alive," Yuffie pointed out.

"Yeah, and gives them Mako poisoning along with it!" Cloud retorted. "Tifa and I were just lucky that when we fell in we both didn't end up completely comatose and crazy." He shook his head. "No, I think it was more than luck," he said more quietly. "I think we had help."

"From Aerith?" Yuffie asked. "Then maybe she could help again. Maybe she could help Tifa."

Cloud was beginning to really wish he was somewhere else at that moment. "Yuffie…" He stopped, sighed, and shook his head. "We don't even know if Aerith's consciousness is still around. We haven't heard anything from her since she healed the Geostigma. Not even when Deepground was slaughtering innocent people and screwing with the Lifestream last year." As much as Cloud might have been comforted in the thought of Aerith being around to help, what he most wished for her was peace. However she found it, he hoped that after everything she had already given for the planet, that she was at peace.

Yuffie's shoulders drooped. "Yeah, I know…Barret says her consciousness might've finally merged with the planet like all the other Cetra." She sighed. "Okay, okay. It was just a suggestion." She reached over for her drink and finished it in several swallows. "I'm gonna eat some dinner and then head out. I need to crash somewhere for a while. But I'll come back tomorrow and help out at the bar like I promised I would, unless some other deformed monster pops up somewhere."

It was only after Yuffie had shoved enough food to feed three grown men into her body and run out of the bar that Tifa finally had a moment to ask him what he and Yuffie had been talking about. There were still customers around, though, and Cloud didn't want to get constantly interrupted while trying to tell the story of his identity crisis. "It's a long story. Can I tell you about it after we close tonight?"

Tifa nodded.

After dinner, Denzel said he was going to take Aria home. Cloud glanced outside at the dark night. "Take--"

"--the emergency phone!" Denzel and Aria exclaimed together, and both of them laughed. It brought a smile to Cloud's face; it was the first time he had heard Denzel laugh since all of this mess had happened.

Marlene came downstairs a short time after Denzel and Aria left, yawning as she climbed onto a barstool and dropped her head into her hands. Tifa reached across the counter and smoothed her hair. "Feeling a little better, sweetie?"

"Yeah."

"Are you hungry? I set some dinner aside for you."

Marlene lifted her head and smiled a little at Tifa. "Yes, please."

Tifa was just setting a plate in front of Marlene and pouring a drink for a customer when the bar's phone started ringing. Cloud glanced at the screen. Unknown Caller. He picked it up. "Seventh Heaven."

The voice that came through on the other end was a low, raspy whisper. A woman's voice. "Mr. Strife?"

"Who is this?"

"Listen to me. It was an accident--the monster that destroyed that school, it was a mistake--the experiments went horribly wrong. It wasn't supposed to--oh, damn!" There were sudden muffled noises, and the woman was no longer whispering, but frantically speaking into the phone. "Listen, there were two at Mt. Nibel and there are three more still missing--it's not going to stop, they're only going to start--"

There was shouting, followed by a loud cry from the woman, and then the line went dead, leaving Cloud staring at the phone in stunned silence.

Chapter Text

Away from the city, the sky was brilliant with stars. Cloud and Tifa had taken the kids to the countryside for their family day, and on the way home, they stopped near a huge grassy field to look at the night sky--at least after Cloud and Tifa did a check of the area to make sure there were no monsters to bother them.

Cloud was lying on the ground with the rest of his family, Marlene and Denzel lying between him and Tifa. His leather protected him from getting soaked from the dewy grass, but he knew the kids' clothes would be wet by the time they were done. It certainly didn't deter them from enjoying their time under the stars.

It had been two weeks since his argument with Tifa over having kids, and though neither of them spoke of it again, though he tried his best to just not think about it, it had been continually romping across his mind.

Cloud's eyes fixed on the brilliant points of light up in the sky. The stars always made him think of Tifa. Of Tifa and Nibelheim and a promise between them that had carried him through so much. The promise that had been his knowledge that Tifa was depending on him--and later in life, it was still the knowledge that she was depending on him even if she could take care of herself.

Tifa was pointing out familiar constellations and telling the kids the stories that went with them. He listened with half a smile as she told one tale about a warrior and a chocobo, her fingers tracing the patterns across the sky. She glanced at him across Denzel and Marlene, her eyes shining with happiness. He stretched an arm over the kids to take her hand. The kids didn't seem to mind the weight of their arms; Marlene, right next to Cloud, hugged his arm tightly and snuggled up closer to him.

After a little more stargazing, they loaded up in the car to finish their trip home. The backs of the kids' clothes were indeed wet, but they buckled contentedly into the car as Tifa, who was driving, pulled back onto the road to Edge.

Cloud kept watching her as she drove and she finally glanced over at him with her eyebrows raised. "Something on your mind?" she asked.

Cloud looked briefly at the kids in the back seat. They were playing some sort of game with string. It was twisted over Marlene's fingers and Denzel was pulling at it with a look of concentration on his face.

He turned his eyes back to Tifa. "I've been thinking," he began quietly. He really didn't know when he had finally made the decision; he suspected that he had been making it a little at a time over the past couple weeks, and now it was just ready to come out of his mouth. "If you want to go, I'll go with you."

Tifa's eyes darted to him again. "Cloud," she began slowly.

"I'll go with you to see Professor Dorne." Then he added hastily, "Just to--just to find out if…if it's possible. Anything else--I don't know."

There was a heavy silence, and Cloud could see how hard Tifa was gripping the steering wheel by her white knuckles. Then, abruptly, she stopped the car in the middle of the road, causing the kids to exclaim over the sudden halt in the car's movement. Tifa swiftly twisted in her seat and threw her arms around Cloud.

Denzel whispered to Marlene, "Ah, they're just being all mushy again."

"I know! Isn't it sweet?" Marlene said back, her voice hushed.

Tifa pulled back from Cloud. They searched each other's eyes for a moment, and then she kissed him softly and whispered, "Thank you."

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Chapter Sixteen - When Trouble Calls

Tifa turned around to see Cloud staring at the phone as if had bit him. "Cloud?"

His eyes snapped to her, and without setting down the bar phone, he whipped out his cell and made a call. "Yuffie, I need--I don't care if you were sleeping, I need you to see if you can trace a call that just came into the bar's phone."

From his tone, Tifa wasn't sure if she should be worried; Cloud was certainly agitated. He listened for a minute and then said, "I don't--if you can't trace it then can you see if you can pull a number or something? Okay. Call me when you--okay." He shut his cell phone and tucked it away, finally putting the bar's phone down.

Stepping closer to him, Tifa said quietly, "Who called?"

"I don't know." His brow pinched into a frown and his eyes were worried. "It was a woman." He filled her in on exactly what she had said to him, which left Tifa wide-eyed. "And after what Yuffie said about Nibelheim--"

Tifa shook her head. "I missed what she said about Nibelheim."

Cloud told her that, too, and Tifa was even more baffled. "Do you think these monsters or experiments or whatever they are had something to do with the missing girl?" she asked.

"I don't know about that. It's Nibelheim--if she decided to go into the mountains at all…it's so easy to get lost. So much that can happen to a child alone." Cloud looked at her quickly, and she had the feeling there was more to that statement than he actually said.

It was a little while before Yuffie called Cloud back. Tifa was busy with a customer and only heard snatches of Cloud's quiet conversation with her. When he hung up, his eyes showed his frustration. "Yuffie says it can't be traced, but she sounds wide awake and says she's headed for the office to talk to Reeve."

The call, Tifa knew, was on both of their minds as they finished working in the bar. She was actually relieved when they locked up, because it gave her time to talk more about it with Cloud while they cleaned the bar. It wasn't until they had finished cleaning that Tifa finally asked him what he and Yuffie had been talking about earlier, concerning Cloud and the Lifestream.

Cloud shifted uneasily when she asked, and Tifa sat down in one of the booths. Cloud sat across from her, folding his arms on the table, his eyes staring into the distance briefly before he focused on her face. "When you remembered Sephiroth the other day," he began slowly, "I mean, when you remembered how he hurt you--"

Tifa barely kept from wincing. She'd had a couple days to process that particular memory, but it was still painful to think about. Cloud gave her an apologetic look but kept on. "You didn't remember Zack or me being there."

Tifa silently shook her head. "Who's Zack?"

"He was a SOLDIER, First Class. He...saved me." Cloud's use of the past tense was obvious. There was a haunted look that crept into his eyes. "He kept an eye out for me, even though he was, well, the best in the Shinra ranks. He still took time to pay attention to me. To talk to me. He was with Sephiroth in Nibelheim when it was destroyed." A pause, and then Cloud added, "So was I. We were supposed to be there investigating the Mako reactor. That was all, but then Sephiroth--you know. When you went to confront him at the Reactor, Zack came in right behind you."

He was quiet and Tifa had a surge of empathy for him. These memories were as painful for him as they were for her--maybe more painful. He remembered more than she did, and it was his hometown, too. His friend he was talking about.

Cloud's eyes moved back to hers. He opened his mouth and the words came out, slowly. He told her how Sephiroth had nearly killed Zack. How Cloud had come in and first thought Tifa dead, how he had tried to stop Sephiroth and had ended up injured, too. "You got out of the reactor. Your martial arts teacher came and saved you, but Zack and I were both left there. I don't…" He sighed. "I don't talk about this. I've talked to you about it a few times before, but I…I don't like thinking about it."

"If it's too hard…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"

"Shouldn't have what? Don't apologize, Tifa. You can ask me anything. I might not always like answering, but I will," he said firmly. He was quiet, and then continued, "Zack and I were 'rescued--'" The world fell out of his mouth with absolute derision "--by a professor who worked for the Shinra."

"Dorne?"

Cloud shook his head. "No. Hojo. He had a fascination with Jenova cells and experimentation on living beings, sentient or otherwise. He used me and Zack as human test subjects for a while. He injected me with Jenova cells and infused me with Mako, among other things."

Tifa stared at him in horror. "That's…awful." She didn't have a word strong enough to express how horrific it was. "How did you get away?"

"Zack. Zack escaped and he took me with him. He saved my life." He told her about it. Zack's death, Cloud's promise that he would never forget Zack…and then how he had forgotten him as his battered psyche took on part of Zack's persona. "I was like that for a while," he admitted. "Then I met back up with you. It was the first time we had seen each other since Nibelheim burned. You knew that something was wrong with me. You tried to keep me close so you could help me. I was completely messed up. Anyway…one day we were in Mideel and I was suffering from Mako poisoning. You and I fell into the Lifestream. You saw me. I mean, you saw into my consciousness. You helped me figure out which memories I had forgotten, which ones were twisted. You helped me piece it back together until I was myself again."

When they went to bed that evening, Tifa knew that they both had a lot on their minds. The phone call, questions about what these possible experiments that the woman had mentioned were--if she was even being truthful, whoever she was. It was frustrating because they couldn't actually do anything. Tifa suspected it was bothering Cloud most of all--there was nothing they could do unless they had more information, and the information was coming in bits and pieces. Much like her memories. Maybe that was one reason she found the entire situation just one big mess. Everything in her life right now--her mind, her life, the mystery of what had really happened with the school attack--were in fragments and they were all trickling in so slowly. It was all one big wait.

"Cloud?" Tifa looked toward him in the bed to find him staring at the ceiling. He glanced over at her and she asked, "How long were you…how long did Hojo have you and Zack before you escaped?"

Cloud was silent. Just when she thought he wasn't going to answer, he said, "Four years."

Tifa's mind reeled. "Four years?" She had thought, when Cloud said Hojo had used them as test subjects for 'a while' that he had meant weeks, maybe a few months. But four years? She tried to imagine that, tried to imagine what it must have been like for him to watch his hometown burn down, to find the girl he cared about stabbed by Sephiroth, to end up hurt and then to get taken to a lab and experimented on like--like an animal for four entire years. Then to be rescued and have his friend die to protect him…and to have messed up memories on top of it? It was unfathomable. And she thought she had it hard now with her amnesia?

There were tears in her eyes, this time for him. She had been acutely aware of all the additional pain and frustration she was putting him through because of her memory loss and now it seemed so much worse. She lay awake a long time that night. After Cloud finally fell asleep, she shifted onto her side to watch him. How had he done it all? How had he made it through all of that and ended up like this? He was so together. He could have ended up completely insane. He could have ended up being so twisted that he didn't care about anyone or anything. He could have turned into a heartless murderer. But he wasn't any of those. She had seen his gentleness with Marlene, his understanding with Denzel, his patience with her. She knew without questioning it that he would fight to protect them all. He was a good man, and the more she learned about him, the more she saw what an amazing thing that was. He could be hard to know how to approach sometimes, but she was learning that there wasn't much to it except to just approach him and wait to see how he would respond.

She tentatively reached out and covered his hand with hers. His eyelids fluttered and one blue eye peered at her before closing again, but he turned his hand over and gave hers a brief squeeze. Tifa swallowed thickly before finally closing her own eyes. She knew it couldn't be easy for him…she was painfully aware of the way she saw him looking at her sometimes. She knew that he was in love with her and that it was hard for him because he should have had more with her than he did. But in the week that she had been at Seventh Heaven, he had never pushed her, never demanded anything of her. He had tried to match her pace and had made things easier for her at his own expense. She was beginning to realize that as tangled as her life was, as confusing as things might be between her and Cloud, she was growing more and more comfortable with him, whether it was working with him in the bar or lying beside him in bed.

More than comfortable. She felt safe.

:--:--:--:--:

She was trapped. Arms strapped to the chair, being pushed toward the threshold of death. All so that the Shinra could have someone to execute, so they could look like they were doing something, punishing someone.

She had to get out; Barret was in danger, too. She had to help him. There was still so much she wanted to do. So much she had to find out…

Cloud.

Cloud was gone…and was it even Cloud? Was it her Cloud, or just an experiment gone wrong? No, no, no…she had to believe he was really Cloud. She had to believe…

Maybe he was alive somewhere. She had to find out. Her anguish over Cloud was battling with her fury over being in this room and her absolute disgust with Rufus Shinra and his company. She wanted to scream, wanted to rage, but she couldn't. She had to keep a level head, had to see if she could find some way out of this. She couldn't die. Not now, not like this. Not locked in a room, waiting for the lethal gas to be pumped in so that her last breaths would be the very death of her.

But she was already suffocating.

Cloud…

"Tifa! Tifa, wake up!"

Tifa's eyes snapped open and a muffled cry came out of her mouth as she fought against the hands on her shoulders. The weight of the hands vanished instantly, and it was only then that she became aware of Cloud, kneeling on the bed beside her, his eyes wide and worried. Her heart was racing and she looked wildly around, gasping for breath.

A dream…I had a dream.

No, more than that. She knew it was more than that. "I…couldn't breathe." She buried her head in her hands, overwhelmed by the anguish and anger and helplessness of the memory.

"You had your face buried in your pillow," Cloud told her. She lowered her hands to find him watching her in concern. "You were...upset."

Had she been crying? Yelling? Calling his name in her sleep, as she had been calling his name in her mind as she dreamed?

"I…I was in a gas chamber. They were going to kill me. And you…you were gone." Tifa drew her knees up to her chest. "I didn't want you to be gone." She bit her lip, struggling to keep calm. It was easier to maintain her composure during the day when she was wide awake; it was a lot harder in the middle of the night when she was half-asleep and her mind was playing with the shadows.

Cloud winced. "That wasn't long before you and I fell into the Lifestream."

Tifa finally pulled her emotions under control. Taking a deep breath, she slid back down onto her pillow. How many more painful events were in her past? Wasn't everything else she'd already remembered enough? What sort of normal people had memories of gas chambers? She just…wasn't normal. As normal as her life sometimes seemed to be--she was married, had children, ran a business--everything else was just strange and twisted. Or maybe her perception of "normal" was what was twisted.

Cloud lay down beside her again, his eyes still on her.

"How did I get out of--" Tifa started to ask the question when the answer rose to her mind. "There was a key that someone dropped. I got myself out of the chair…and then…something attacked and blasted a hole in the wall." She had escaped the gas chamber by climbing out of the hole…after that, she didn't remember anything.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her dull headache to go away. I hate this. I hate this. I just want my life to be however it was before. I just want my life. I want to know the good with the bad. I hate this!

This time, it was Cloud who reached over and took her hand, his thumb stroking the back of her hand and slowly lulling her back to sleep.

:--:--:--:--:

Yuffie arrived just before the bar opened. Tifa was busy making sandwiches for the kids' lunch and starting to cook the first meal that would be on the menu for the day when Yuffie began pounding on the locked front door. As soon as Tifa opened it, Yuffie leapt inside and said, "Mmm, do I smell coffee? Good, I'm gonna need some! I was up half the night thanks to your husband. Okay, well, it was really the phone call that was the problem. When Reeve heard there could be more monsters on the loose--well, it was all planning and preparing and what can we do to find them and what do we do for damage control if they show up. And we really just need more info, but whoever called you was doing it from an unlisted number and the only thing I find out was that the call was first bounced through a radio tower near Kalm. Which tells me…well, nothing. The caller could have been in Kalm, or somewhere near it. If I'd known a wacky phone call was gonna come in to your phone, I could've probably set up a trace and gotten more, but…obviously, no one expected someone with a freaky message to call." Yuffie rubbed the bridge of her nose vigorously. "So how about that coffee? If I'm gonna help in the bar I'm gonna need lots of caffeine."

Tifa vaguely wondered what an already energetic Yuffie would be like on caffeine, but she obligingly gave Yuffie a cup of coffee, which the young woman drenched in sugar and promptly sucked down in less than thirty seconds.

"Right! Now, where do I start?" Yuffie asked, clapping her hands together.

As soon as the bar opened, Tifa put Yuffie to work taking orders from customers. While Yuffie was distracted with chatting to one of the bar's patrons, Cloud told Tifa quietly, "Whatever you do, don't let Yuffie near the kitchen."

Tifa tilted her head. "Because she'll destroy it or because she can't cook?"

"Well, both, but mostly because of the cooking. Actually, I don't think the words 'Yuffie' and 'cooking' really belong in the same sentence. She's banned from the kitchen."

Tifa's lips twitched in amusement. "Okay."

A phone started ringing then--or rather, singing out a lively tune--and Cloud and Tifa both turned to see Yuffie turning from the counter and pulling out her cell. She rolled her eyes and whispered, "Reeve," to Cloud and Tifa as she answered the call. "Reeve? Can it wait? I'm at Cloud and Tifa's--now what?" She listened. "So what? It has blackouts all the time! The last time I spent a night there I couldn't get a hot shower, let alone any lights, and the signal on my cell was so patchy I hung up on Vincent four times on accident!"

Cloud made a soft scoffing noise at that and muttered, "He probably hung up on her."

Yuffie continued speaking into the phone. "What?" She pursed her lips. "Hm. Okay. Yeah, yeah…I'll call Vince and drag him out of his hole. Hey, I'll drag Cloud along while I'm at it." She threw Cloud a wink and his eyes narrowed in response. "I'm sure between the three of us we can figure it out. Yup. Uh-huh. Geez, I will, stop worrying already!" Shaking her head, she hung up and faced Cloud. "Guess where we're going?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Cloud said.

"Junon!" Yuffie exclaimed, as if he hadn't spoken.

"No."

"Aw, come on, Cloud. You can help me convince Vincent." More seriously, she said, "Besides, I am kinda worried now and you're pretty handy with your swords. Even if I am the best with Conformer and all, you're not so bad to have around when there's trouble."

"Which is why I'm staying here," Cloud told her. He shot Tifa a quick glance, and she knew exactly what he was worried about.

"I can handle the bar," Tifa said quietly. "If you need to go."

"Tifa…" Cloud began uncertainly.

"I've gotten the hang of it," Tifa told him, "and we both know that I can still protect myself--and the kids," she added.

Cloud still looked unsure. "What's happening in Junon?" he finally asked Yuffie.

"Power outage to the entire part of the city that's water-powered," Yuffie said promptly. "For a whole day now. Which is still within the range of normal, but Reeve says he can't get a hold of the engineers who work in the old underwater reactor turned hydroelectric facility, so he sent a few people from the WRO in Junon to check it out and he hasn't heard from them, either. Enter the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi to the rescue! So whaddya say, Cloud?"

Cloud shot another look at Tifa, and she nodded at him encouragingly. She could do this--she knew she could. Besides, she had known at some point she would have to prove that she could run Seventh Heaven by herself so that Cloud could pick up his own business again.

Cloud turned back to Yuffie and sighed. "Junon, huh?"

Chapter Text

Mideel had grown larger in the years since Meteor, due in part to the arrival of Professor Dorne and his research facility. Most of Mideel was a flourishing resort, and those there for rest and relaxation had grown accustomed to the looming facility at the edge of the Mako pool. Part of Dorne's lab extended over the Lifestream itself, as some of the other buildings did.

Cloud eyed the three story research building with no small amount of apprehension. He could already imagine what the inside would be like--hospitals and laboratories all had similar attributes and he loathed being in any of them. He really didn't think his distrust of doctors and professors and scientists in general would ever disappear. It helped a little that Cid and Shera had made the trip to Mideel already. Cloud had heard from Cid that the Professor "wasn't an asshole" and Tifa, after talking with Shera, had found out that she was cautiously optimistic that at some point she might be able to successfully carry a child.

Cloud walked steadily with Tifa up the walkway to the front of the research facility, his face a mask of calm, but his heart was going faster than normal and there was an odd ringing in his ears. He knew just from the look Tifa gave him that she understood he was completely uncomfortable. He nodded at her to assure her that even if he wasn't exactly okay, he was still with her.

They walked in the door and into a front room filled with plants that hung from the ceiling and were placed around the edges of the room, trailing creepers and flowers everywhere. There was a small desk in one corner that reminded Cloud vaguely of his own desk at home: scattered with slips of paper, a phone, a couple of photographs, and quite a few pens. There were stairs in the opposite corner and a door on one wall.

The sight and smell of the plants and flowers was not something Cloud had expected, and it did aid in easing his anxiety slightly, but there was still the underlying antiseptic smell that he hated. It was the smell of prison and pain and numbness. He suppressed a shudder.

"Hm, I wonder where we're supposed to--" Tifa had just started speaking when the door on the wall opened and a woman around their own age stepped into the room with a stack of folders in her hand.

She caught sight of them and blinked, and then a pleasant smile crossed her face. "Hello! Can I help you with something?"

"We're here to talk to Professor Dorne," Tifa told her.

The woman crossed to the desk and plopped the folders down onto it. "I'll take you to him. Come with me!" She waved at them and headed for the staircase.

Tifa struck up a conversation with the woman as they climbed to the second floor. "So what do you do here?"

"Oh, I'm just a research assistant. I only started last month. I'm thrilled to get to work under Professor Dorne." The woman led them down a hallway; there were a lot of doors and other hallways branching out all over the place. She didn't take them far, but brought them to a plain wooden door with a handwritten plate beside it that read Dorne. She knocked on the door and said, "Professor? There are some people here to see you." She blinked and whispered, "I'm sorry, I didn't get your names!"

Before either Cloud or Tifa could respond, the door opened and they were faced with the professor himself. He was old enough to be Cloud's grandfather, with a shock of white hair and twinkling gray eyes. "Ahh, Cloud and Tifa Strife, I presume?"

The research assistant's eyes widened and she gaped at Cloud and Tifa. "Strife?" she said faintly.

"Thank you, Nuri," Dorne smiled at the woman, who nodded, giving Cloud and Tifa a furtive glance before hurrying off down the hallway. Waving at Cloud and Tifa, Dorne said, "Please, come in."

Dorne's office was as plain as his door, with only a desk, several chairs, and a bookshelf stuffed with books of numerous sizes. There were several plants tucked into corners and a half-filled coffee cup on the desk that simply read "Granddad." Cloud took it all in quickly as he sat in an empty chair beside Tifa.

Professor Dorne shook both of their hands firmly before sitting behind his desk. "I'm glad to finally meet you both. Reeve always speaks very highly of you." He folded his hands on the desk and got right to the point, which Cloud appreciated. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. "I understand you want to find out the viability of having children. I'm going to start by asking some questions. Mr. Strife, it's apparent from looking at your eyes that you've had Mako exposure. Let's start with that."

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Seventeen - Junon Path

"There's a portable burner that you can put out here to cook dinner so you don't have to leave the bar unattended," Cloud told Tifa. First Tsurugi was already strapped to his back; he didn't need anything else, and Yuffie was practically hopping--actually, she was hopping--with impatience by the front door as he prepared to leave Seventh Heaven. To leave Tifa alone at Seventh Heaven. What was he thinking? She had only just started getting used to running the place again. What if something happened while he wasn't there? "If there's an emergency, call Reeve. If you need me, I have my cell." What else? "Denzel's leaving to go get Aria; make sure he always takes the emergency phone with him if he goes out." Maybe he should just tell Yuffie to forget it.

"Cloud." Tifa rested her fingertips on his arm. "I can handle it. Don't worry. You help Yuffie and I'll manage things here, okay?"

She looked confident, at any rate, but Cloud still couldn't help questioning his decision to go with Yuffie. He probably wouldn't have gone, either, except that the fact Yuffie wanted him and Vincent to go with her meant she was really worried. He didn't blame her--with all the strange events that had happened the past couple weeks, the news that the engineers in Junon and the WRO team sent to check on them had gone silent was very concerning. What if whatever was going on in Junon had to do with everything else that had been happening? If there was any likelihood that this could be connected to the events of the past weeks, he wanted to find out.

"Cloud?" Tifa's voice stopped him as he prepared to head out with Yuffie. "Be careful, okay?"

He nodded at her. His apprehension wasn't any less when Yuffie said, "Tifa'll be fine, Cloud. She's been doing great running the place, and her regulars'll keep an eye out for her even if she doesn't need it. Now stop moping and let's go get Vinnie!"

They took a helicopter from the WRO headquarters. Yuffie spent the trip clutching her seat, hunched over as she tried not to be sick. Cloud handled the ride much better, and it was only a short time before they reached Kalm, where Vincent was currently residing. They found him at his small apartment. He opened the door and before Yuffie could even assault him with her mission, he said, "I spoke with Reeve. I will accompany you to Junon."

That only went to show how worried Reeve was about the situation, if he had bothered to call and ask for Vincent's help before Yuffie arrived on the scene.

"Well, geez, make me twist your arm already," Yuffie said. "C'mon, then, the chopper's waiting."

Once they were back on board and the helicopter was en route to Junon, Yuffie, arms wrapped around herself, said, "So Reeve called you, huh?"

"No. I called him," Vincent said. "There was a missing person reported in Kalm a short while ago. Someone in town who knows of my connection to the WRO thought I might be able to provide assistance."

"Who's missing?" Yuffie asked, a frown on her face.

"An elderly gentleman who resides with his granddaughter. She said that he went to the market this morning and did not return. A search of the town produced nothing. One woman said she saw him speaking to a man she didn't recognize."

"Couldn't he just have wandered off? Old geezers do that sometimes," Yuffie said.

"His granddaughter was adamant that he was perfectly capable of caring for himself."

"Weird. I mean, I know people go missing all the time, but it's usually kids." Yuffie's eyes widened. "I wonder if this has anything to do with the girl who went missing in Nibelheim? Cloud, that crazy phone call you got came from the Kalm area! I mean, sure, everything could just be one giant coincidence, but what if it isn't?"

"Why would someone take a kid from Nibelheim and an old man from Kalm?" Cloud asked doubtfully. He wasn't disputing that it could be connected. The woman who had called him had mentioned that "there were two at Mt. Nibel," which automatically made him suspicious of anything related to Nibelheim. Still, he wasn't going to jump to conclusions.

Vincent didn't ask either of them what they were talking about, so Cloud assumed that Reeve had already filled Vincent in on the details of what had been happening. Either that or Vincent just didn't care to hear the details.

"I dunno." Yuffie shrugged. "But I'm gonna find out." She smacked one fist into her other palm in determination, and then promptly doubled over with a groan as the helicopter swerved sideways.

Cloud kept waiting for his cell phone to ring, wondering if Tifa would call, wondering if she was all right, imagining all the things that could go wrong while she was there alone. He had to resist the urge to pick up his phone and call her to make sure she really was doing okay. Just before they reached Junon, however, he decided he didn't care what anyone thought of him checking up on her. He would call her just once. He pulled out his phone and called the bar's number. It rang twice, and then Marlene's cheerful voice chirped, "Hi, Cloud!"

"Marlene, how's everything going?"

"Everything's fine!" Marlene assured him. "Lunch is over and things are really slow. There are only two customers here right now. Denzel and Aria and I are playing cards." Her voice dropped, and she whispered, "It's okay; I'm watching out for Tifa."

A slight smile crossed Cloud's face. "I bet you are. Thanks, Marlene. Go win your card game, okay?"

Marlene giggled. "I will! 'Bye, Cloud!"

The helicopter landed on Junon's airport, and then Cloud, Yuffie, and Vincent made their way through Upper Junon until they reached the path that would lead them down to the underwater hydroelectric facility.

"There should be power to the facility itself," Yuffie declared. "They have emergency generators and stuff." She punched the button on the first elevator repeatedly.

There was nothing. No sound of an elevator moving at all. "Aren't the emergency generators in the facility?" Cloud said. "What if someone shut them off? What if they're broken?"

Yuffie scowled at the elevator door as if it had betrayed her. "Stairs it is!"

The door to the emergency stairwell was locked, but it was nothing to Yuffie's lock picking skills, and in moments they were through the door, which Yuffie propped open, and moving cautiously down the stairs. The backup generators were definitely off or malfunctioning, because there was absolutely no lighting in the stairwell at all. Cloud's eyes pulled in the tiny bit of light coming in from the door at the top. Yuffie pressed something into his hands--a thin visor. "Night vision!" she murmured to him. "Thought I'd better be prepared, just in case!"

Cloud didn't bother asking where Yuffie had pulled the visor from; he simply accepted it and slid it over his eyes as they crept out of the stairwell and back onto the path of hallways leading down to the facility. He drew First Tsurugi's main blade as he moved along warily. Vincent had Cerberus in hand, and Yuffie was gripping Conformer. Without the night vision visor, Cloud doubted he would have been able to see even with his Mako-enhanced vision. There were no lights, no windows. There was also no sound of anything or anyone moving.

"This is way creepy," Yuffie whispered. "Even creepier than your coffin, Vince!"

Vincent didn't respond to that. They proceeded down some more stairs, around a corner, and finally came to the next elevator, a shaft with a platform that would have taken them all the way down to the ocean floor if it had been working.

"Guess we take the ladder!" Yuffie said in an upbeat tone. "C'mon, boys!"

The ladder was on the wall of the shaft, and it went far, far down. Even with his night vision visor, Cloud couldn't see the bottom. He sheathed his sword and started climbing down the metal rungs first, with Yuffie scrambling down lithely above him and Vincent coming last. At the bottom, Cloud retrieved his main blade once more, pausing and straining his ears, but still not hearing anything. No machinery, no voices. Nothing but absolute silence.

Yuffie stooped down and picked something up off the ground. She silently handed it to Vincent, and Cloud saw that it was a standard issue WRO rifle. He peered around the corridor, and then he spotted it--a body on the other end of the corridor, right beside the next door they needed to go through. Or what was left of a body. It was torn and mangled, and Yuffie sucked in a sharp breath and took several quick steps forward.

There was almost no warning. Cloud's keen hearing caught the barest scratching sound, and he grabbed Yuffie's arm and yanked her backwards just before a gigantic claw could slice her head right off of her. Yuffie caught her balance and threw her shuriken at the attacker. Through his visor, Cloud caught a flash of fur, sharp teeth, and ferocious eyes--a monster of some sort. He didn't get a very good look at it before it was literally on top of him, towering over him and doing its best to either bite his head off or gut him--he wasn't entirely sure which and didn't care to find out. He swung his blade up underneath it, a move that should have sliced it up the neck, but it moved the instant before his sword touched it. It was impossibly fast.

The sound of gunshots from Vincent's direction echoed through the hallway, then a much louder snarl, and the monster leapt at Cloud again. He ducked out of the way and swung his sword, catching the monster's enormous paw as it came at his chest. The creature roared as his blade sliced it, but Cloud wasn't even sure if he really hurt it; the damn thing was still moving too fast and it was all he could do to keep it at bay. It moved again and was suddenly on his other side. He whirled to meet it, aware of Vincent still firing shots from Cerberus, and of Yuffie screaming, "CLOUD!"

He dropped to the ground, whipping out one of his side blades and stabbing it upward into the underbelly of the second monster that had just attacked him from behind. He still didn't get a good look at either creature, except to see that now there seemed to be double the excess of teeth and sharp claws, because both the first monster and now the second one seemed to be primarily focused on him. He thought he had injured at least the second monster with his side blade, but this one was as fast as the first one and he couldn't tell. One of the monsters slammed into him and his head bounced into the wall. He caught himself quickly, but his night vision visor went flying off, leaving him completely blind.

With his lack of sight, he had to rely on his hearing and the movement of air around him to keep from being slaughtered. While using his main blade to attack, he pulled out his hollow blade and used it to fend off the claws and teeth, warding off the monsters trying to bite him and rip into him. With as many bullets as Vincent was pumping into them, as many times as Yuffie had been throwing Conformer, he would have expected at least one of them to be dead.

As if on cue, one of the two monsters gave a shrieking noise that he sure as hell hoped was a death cry. Then his main sword sank into flesh, just as something sharp and stinging scraped across the skin of his arm. He swung blindly with his hollow blade, but his movement suddenly felt thick and slow, his limbs becoming numb. He was losing feeling, losing motion, and his mind was going as black as his vision. One thought loomed in his head before he lost consciousness.

Poison.

Chapter Text

Professor Dorne asked them a lot of questions, most of which Cloud had anticipated. How had Cloud been infused with Mako? How long was his exposure to it? Had he been in SOLDIER? Had he had Geostigma? It was the most unpleasant afternoon Cloud had experienced in a long time, having to talk about these things with a complete stranger who also happened to be a scientist.

The physical examination was worse than all of the questions. Not that it hurt; it really didn't, but 'unpleasant' didn't even begin to describe being poked and looked over and studied. If Tifa hadn't been there, Cloud knew he would have walked out five minutes into it. Parts of it were also incredibly awkward, and Cloud just wanted to be anywhere but there.

Once the needed samples were taken from them, Cloud and Tifa had to wait around for a while so their results could be processed. They sat in a small room filled with comfortable furniture and an abundance of plants--Cloud was beginning to wonder if any of the rooms in this facility didn't have vegetation of some sort.

Finally, Professor Dorne came in to talk to them. He peered at a folder in his hands and then smiled at both of them. "First of all," he began, "you are not sterile, Cloud. Whatever was done to you in the past, you are still quite capable of having children."

Cloud honestly wasn't sure whether to be relieved by that news or not. It might have made it easier if he had been unable to have kids, but at the same time, there was a huge part of him that was relieved. Relieved his body hadn't been further broken by all of the experimentation done to it. There was something about just knowing that he was capable of producing a child that gave him an almost instinctual satisfaction.

"There are inactive Jenova cells in your blood," Professor Dorne continued, "but that was expected. You, on the other hand, Tifa, show no previous exposure to Jenova cells. This is actually very good news. It means that you are quite likely to be able to successfully conceive and carry at least one child to term." He paused. "Let me explain it to you as best we understand it. In many cases, a baby conceived of a parent--either father or mother--who had previous exposure to Jenova cells will be born with active Jenova cells. Now, not every baby inherits these cells. There is really no sure way to know unless it happens. The problem with Jenova cells is that they are completely unlike regular human cells--obviously, as they are not human--and they can have different effects on different people."

Dorne looked at Cloud and Tifa to make sure they were following him before continuing. "A mother who had Geostigma and was then healed by the water in Midgar has inactive Jenova cells still in her bloodstream. Her body has developed antibodies to the Jenova cells and those antibodies will attack the baby with active Jenova cells, perceiving the baby as a threat and sometimes resulting in miscarriage, hemorrhage, infections, and numerous other problems."

Cloud nodded briefly. That was what had likely happened with Shera.

"On the other hand, we have a mother who has never had exposure to Jenova cells," Dorne continued. "She did not have Geostigma and she was not healed in the waters in Midgar. If her partner has Jenova cells in him, then it's just as likely that the baby conceived will have the active cells. Her body, however, does not have the antibodies to fight them and will therefore not perceive the baby as a threat."

"But can she still have problems?" Cloud asked.

Dorne nodded. "Yes, though it would not usually be during the first pregnancy. You see, during pregnancy, the mother and baby's blood systems are separate, but there are instances when the baby's blood can get into the mother's system. If this were to happen, then the mother would quite likely be infected with active Jenova cells from the fetus. She and the baby would then have to go to the healing water in Midgar after the baby was born to get their active cells neutralized. However, she would then have antibodies to the Jenova cells, which means another pregnancy could be quite complicated because her body would fight against a fetus with active Jenova cells. Does this make sense?"

Cloud and Tifa exchanged glances and they both nodded. "But…" Tifa began.

Professor Dorne looked at her patiently. "Yes?"

"If I got pregnant, got infected with active Jenova cells, and went into the healing water while I was pregnant, wouldn't that neutralize the cells in both me and the baby?"

Cloud tried not to react to that idea; he was stuck on the possibility of infecting Tifa with Jenova cells at all. He had worried all this time that just having sex with her might give her Jenova cells or something. It obviously hadn't, but now they were talking about the possibility of giving them not only to Tifa, but to a child. It would be hanging both of their fates on Aerith's healing water. What if something happened to the water? Or the church? Sure, it had been around for a long time, but it didn't mean it was going to be there forever. It didn't mean something couldn't happen to it, and if it did, what would happen to Tifa? What would happen to the baby?

"Excellent question, but we have discovered that doesn't work. The mother ends up with her Jenova cells neutralized, but until the baby is actually born, its cells remain unaffected. And if the mother's cells are rendered inactive while pregnant, her body begins to fight against the baby." Dorne paused. "Keep in mind that this is all contingent upon whether the baby's blood gets into the mother's system. Tifa, as you do not have Jenova cells in your body right now, chances are that you could have a perfectly normal pregnancy and that your own body would be untainted by Jenova cells even if your baby had them. I can't say for sure one way or another. It's different for everyone."

"Okay," Tifa said slowly. "Is there a way to prevent women who have these antibodies from attacking babies with active Jenova cells?"

"Along with several other scientists and doctors, I have been working on this very problem. We're hopeful that at some point soon, we may have something to suppress the antibodies that fight against the Jenova cells, at least long enough for a successful pregnancy," Professor Dorne said. "I'm not a medical doctor, but this is something I've recently begun to research in earnest. My granddaughter, you see, has had trouble carrying a child to term." Sadness crossed the professor's face. "Ultimately, unless we can find a way to completely eradicate Jenova cells--active or inactive--from the bloodstream, there will always be some risk." He sighed. "Unfortunately, risks to the population are not the only dangers caused by Jenova cells." He closed the folder in his hands and met their eyes. "Right now, all I can tell you is that, as I said, Tifa has quite a normal chance of successfully carrying at least one baby."

A baby who would likely be born with active Jenova cells.

Cloud did have to admit to himself that having some answers, some solid explanations about exactly how the Jenova cells affected different pregnancies, was reassuring. It took away the shapeless, uncertain doubts and questions that had been shrouding his mind for a long time and replaced them instead with doubts that at least had a logical foundation. It was good to know that for at least one pregnancy, the greatest risk to Tifa and the baby would be that they could both end up with active Jenova cells. It was still potentially dangerous, but not nearly as dangerous as he had been afraid it might be.

Cloud and Tifa left the research facility a short time later, and as they walked down the path away from the large building, Tifa looked at him seriously. "I know that was hard for you, Cloud. Thank you."

He reached for her hand and when she smiled at him, he knew that even if they decided not to ever try to have kids, he had made the right choice in doing this with her.

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Chapter Eighteen - Pitfalls

"Cloud. Cloud! Cloud! No, don't you dare close your eyes again, or I swear I'll hit you over the head with Conformer!" Yuffie's voice was loud and right beside Cloud's ear, making him wince and want nothing more than to squeeze his eyes shut again.

"I'm certain that would solve everything." Vincent's voice was much quieter and very dry.

Yuffie gasped, and Cloud could see her now, blurry and indistinct through his half-opened eyes. "Did you just make a joke, Vinnie? A totally unfunny joke, but…a joke? Geez, Cloud, see what happens? You nearly die and Vince starts trying to have a sense of humor." Despite her attempt at a lighthearted tone, Cloud could hear the worry in her voice. "Here, swallow this." She tried to shove something into his mouth, but he blocked her arm and struggled up onto one elbow.

"Yuffie, if he ingests anymore antidotes his body may have an adverse reaction," Vincent said.

Cloud finally got his eyes opened all the way and his vision quickly cleared, but his arms and legs felt like jelly and he was strangely lightheaded. He discovered he was lying on a bed, and he recognized the walls and structure of the room as belonging to one of the inns in Junon. He sat up swiftly and looked between Yuffie, hovering in front of him, and Vincent, standing in a corner.

Yuffie leaned back and heaved a relieved sigh before bursting out, "Do you have any idea what would have happened if I'd had to call Tifa and tell her you were dead? Don't scare me like that!"

"What…happened?" Cloud had a very clear memory of the battle against the monsters, and of the poison…

"Vincent and I took down one of the monsters right when you were almost monster food," Yuffie told him. "You killed the other monster before it could eat you. Not before it could poison you. We got you outta there as fast as we could--we couldn't really stay around if there were more monsters--but by the time we got you up to the surface again, you were totally seizing and frothing at the mouth. I've never seen poison that strong."

Cloud glanced at his right arm; it had a bandage swathed around it where the monster had poisoned him. The skin around the bandage was slightly swollen and red.

"You might feel a little weird. We dumped enough antidotes and potions into you to heal a behemoth--and it still didn't close those scratch wounds on your arm." Yuffie sank onto the edge of the bed. "You should see a doctor, Cloud. Yeah, I know, I know, don't look at me like that, but you should see one; I'm not sure all poison's completely gone from your system. But now that you're awake, I'm pretty sure you're staying alive, so I've gotta call Reeve. We have to get some major reinforcements to Junon. We're gonna need lights and some crazy-ass weapons and armor in case there are any more monsters down there. I guess we know what happened to the engineers and the first team we sent." She had her cell phone and was calling out as she finished talking to Cloud. She bounced back onto her feet and tapped her foot impatiently on the floor. "Reeve! We have some hugely gigantic problems in Junon. They had claws and teeth and everything."

Cloud looked at Vincent. "Was I really that bad?" he asked quietly as Yuffie hastily filled Reeve in on the situation.

"Your heart momentarily stopped," Vincent said.

Cloud stared at Vincent. His heart had stopped?

He stood to his feet, but had only taken a few steps forward when he had to pause and find his center of balance. That, more than anything, made him realize that he really was not in the best shape. If the poison could have been so strong and so fast that it had this lasting effect on him, what would it have been like for someone who didn't have a Mako-enhanced body? If it had been Yuffie who had taken the poison instead of him, would she be alive?

"Yuffie may have been correct in saying that some of the poison may still be in your body," Vincent said quietly. "You should remain still for the time being and give yourself time to finish healing."

Even though he was itching to do something other than stay in that room, he realized he really didn't have anything to do until Yuffie called in reinforcements. He slowly sat back down on the bed, his mind racing through everything that had just happened. Was it connected with the monster that had attacked the school in Edge? With the phone call about the monsters?

Yuffie snapped her phone closed and turned around. "We'll be heading back to the underwater facility once our reinforcements arrive. Reeve's sending a team from Edge and calling in another one here in Junon. Except you--" she jabbed a finger at Cloud "--are going home." The look that she gave him threatened him with imminent doom if he didn't heed her.

It also had absolutely no effect on Cloud. "No, I'm not." If anything, this had only made him more determined to find out what was going on. He knew that it was going to be anything but pleasant exploring the underwater facility again, especially if there were more monsters, but he had a suspicion that if there were anymore, there would just be one. "I think these monsters might be some of the ones that woman called me about."

"Yeah, that crossed my mind, too," Yuffie nodded. "But she told you there were still three more, right? So there could be one still down there. Except…these monsters looked nothing like the one that attacked Edge. Believe me, I got a good look at the dead body." She wrinkled her nose. "These things didn't have wings and didn't blow fire or anything, though I don't think the poison and claws are any better." She looked at Cloud directly. "And they went straight for you. I mean, they just ignored me and Vinnie and tried to corner you."

"Well, they probably killed everyone else down there," Cloud said, rubbing his neck. His head was already starting to feel a bit more normal. "If they'd killed me, I'm sure they would have gone after you next."

"My question is how the hell did they get in there?" Yuffie exclaimed. "Well, one of my questions anyway. Did someone bring 'em to the submarine bay and let 'em loose or what? And why would anyone do that?"

"Someone got annoyed with all the power outages," Cloud said.

Yuffie groaned. "Gawd! You're trying the joke thing now, too? This near-death experience stuff is not good for either of you!" She waved her hands at Cloud. "If you go and die a horrible poisonous death after I nearly killed myself keeping you from dying a horrible poisonous death then I'll have to strangle you. Got it?"

Cloud raised one eyebrow. Sometimes he wondered if placing Yuffie in charge of an entire division of the WRO had gone to her head. "Sure."

"Good."

:--:--:--:--:

Marlene put her cards on the table, satisfaction written all over her face. Tifa knew she had won the game even before Denzel sighed and said to Aria, "She did it again."

Marlene shrugged modestly and a faint smile crossed Tifa's face as she finished washing the last dinner dish and set it aside to dry. She had lost track of how many games the kids had played, but Marlene had won most of them, making Denzel and Aria more determined to beat her.

The door opened and another customer walked into the bar. He greeted the kids as he headed over to the counter. Tifa recognized him as a regular, and already knew exactly what drink he would order before he sat on a stool. It made her happy because it was an area of her life that she was settling into swiftly. It was good to start recognizing regular customers. She had been a little uncertain about running the bar alone, but her day had gone by without any trouble, and it was nice to really know that she could do this--to prove to herself that she was capable of running a bar by herself. It had been fairly slow, except for the lunch and dinner rushes, which did help. Apparently the novelty of Seventh Heaven's reopening was finally wearing off. "And Wednesdays aren't usually that busy anyway," Marlene said. "Weekends are busiest. And tomorrow we're closed, because we're always closed on Thursdays."

Throughout the day, Tifa's thoughts frequently drifted to Cloud. Whatever was happening in Junon, she just wanted him to come home safely. It was strange not having him nearby; she had gotten so used to having him there with her, letting her run her business but always watching her back. It was good that she could be independent with her own business, but it wasn't yet familiar.

"The usual?" she asked her regular customer.

He smiled widely. "Yep. See, you're picking things right back up. Knew you would; you always were a bright one."

"Well, thanks," Tifa said, returning his grin as she turned to get his drink together. "So how's your--" The phone started ringing before she could finish her question. "Excuse me," she said, grabbing the phone. "Seventh Heaven."

"Tifa? This is Cira Burke."

Tifa's eyes narrowed slightly as she tried to recall the name--why did it sound familiar? "Oh!" The woman who ran one of Edge's children's homes. "Hello!"

"I was wondering if I could speak with Izzi. I had expected him home by now," Cira said.

Tifa frowned. "I'm sorry, Izzi isn't here. I haven't seen him in a couple days."

There was silence for a moment, and then Cira said, "You haven't seen him at all today? He left this morning and said he was going to see Denzel."

Tifa glanced over at where Denzel, Marlene, and Aria were seated, a trickle of alarm in the back of her mind. "No, he never showed up. Can you hold on a minute?" Covering the phone, she said, "Denzel?"

Denzel looked over at her, then slid out of his chair and walked over to the counter. "Yeah?"

"Did you see Izzi at all earlier when you went to pick up Aria?"

"No." Then, alarm in his eyes, "Is he okay?"

"Cira Burke is looking for him and thought you might have seen him."

Denzel shook his head. "Aria!" he called. "Did you see Izzi at all today?"

Aria shook her head. "No, I went to his place yesterday morning with Minn before I came here, but that's the last time I saw him. Why? Is he okay?"

Tifa uncovered the mouthpiece. "I'm sorry, but Denzel hasn't seen him at all today. Neither has Aria."

"Oh, dear," Cira sighed.

"Should I call someone?" Who would she call if a child was missing? "Reeve?"

"Commissioner Tuesti? I wouldn't go that far yet. Izzi's been, understandably, very withdrawn lately. I encouraged him to see Denzel this morning, and I thought he might have agreed just to get me to leave him alone. It's likely he's just gone off by himself for the day. I'll call later if he doesn't show up."

When Tifa hung up the phone, all of the kids wanted to know what was going on, and after Tifa told them what little she knew, Denzel said, "I was going to take Aria home anyway--maybe we can check a couple places on the way. We know where Izzi likes to go."

Aria nodded optimistically. "I'll bet we can find him."

Tifa hesitated. Denzel always took Aria home after dinner when it was dark but not late, but they didn't usually go poking around other places. With Aria in the wheelchair and Denzel's arm in the sling, she wasn't sure how safe it was for them to be straying off their normal path after dark. "Where exactly would you be looking for him?"

They began listing several places where Izzi might be when the door opened and Cloud walked into the bar. When Tifa spotted him, her face lit up and relief sank heavily onto her.

Cloud paused and looked at Tifa's few customers, at the kids crowded in front of the counter, and then at Tifa. She knew the instant she saw his eyes that not all was well. Before she could ask him anything about his day, though, he asked, "Is something going on?"

"Miss Burke doesn't know where Izzi is," Aria said promptly. "Denzel and I want to look into the places where he hangs out on the way to my place."

Cloud's eyes narrowed. "He's missing?"

"He's probably just wanting to be alone," Aria said.

Cloud was quiet for a moment, and then said, "I think I'll come with you two tonight, okay?"

He was worried, and that worried Tifa, too. Denzel and Aria exchanged glances, and Denzel said, "Okay."

Cloud's eyes went back to Tifa and he nodded at her, and even in the dark wariness in his eyes, even in the exhaustion she read in his posture, she saw a glimpse of relief in his gaze. "Denzel and I will be back shortly," he said.

Tifa closed her mouth on all of the questions she wanted to ask as he walked out the door, pushing Aria's wheelchair, with Denzel hurrying along next to them. As soon as the door closed, Marlene hopped up on a stool next to Tifa's regular customer, who had watched the whole situation with curiosity. Smiling slightly at Marlene, he said, "Well, Tifa, looks like you've got your hands full. I'll be on my way." He paid for his drink, then nodded. "I'll see you folks on Friday!"

Then he was gone, leaving only a man and a woman sitting at a corner booth with their drinks.

Marlene turned to Tifa. "Something's wrong with Cloud."

"You think so too, hm?" Tifa asked.

"He only looks like that after he had a really, really bad day," Marlene said.

Tifa's frown stayed on her face as she put away the clean dinner dishes. She checked the clock; the bar was supposed to be open for another three hours, but things were going very slowly and she wanted to talk to Cloud when he got back without holding a conversation in front of customers. She debated for a minute, and then walked over to the door and flipped the sign to Closed for Business. Her last two customers glanced over at her, and she forced her face into a smile. "No rush," she assured them. "I'm just closing a bit early tonight."

Her customers were gone before Cloud returned with Denzel. As soon as Cloud and Denzel came into the empty bar, Denzel shook his head and said, "We didn't find Izzi. He wasn't at any of his favorite hangouts." Shoulders slumped, he disappeared through the door to the living area. Marlene hopped off her barstool and followed him, but paused long enough to throw her arms around Cloud's waist and whisper something to him that Tifa couldn't hear.

After Marlene darted off, Cloud sank down onto one of the barstools and let out an exhausted sigh, his eyes closing briefly. When he opened them, his first words were, "Why did you close early?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

Cloud straightened. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. My day was absolutely fine. It's yours I'm worried about." Tifa rounded the bar counter and sat on the stool next to him. It was only then that she noticed his arm. "What happened to your arm?" she gasped.

Cloud quickly covered it with his hand. "Just a scratch."

Tifa pulled his hand away from it. Several angry gashes marked his forearm. "That's just a scratch?"

"It looks a lot better than it did when I first took off the bandage."

"What happened?"

Cloud pulled his arm out of Tifa's grasp and shook his head. "Monsters," he said. "Two of them in the hallway leading to Junon's underwater facility." He told her, very briefly, about the encounter that he, Vincent, and Yuffie had had with the creatures. "The claws were poisonous," he told her, gesturing at his arm. "We had to pull out and regroup."

He'd been poisoned? "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yuffie pumped me full of enough antidotes to drown a chocobo. We went back down there with reinforcements, but it didn't matter--I guess we killed the only two monsters that were there, since we didn't run into any others. They caused a hell of a lot of damage and death before we killed them, though."

There was that dark, haunted pain in his eyes, and now Tifa understood why. She recognized the look--it was the same expression he had worn that day he had come to see her in the hospital, when he told her he had gone to identify children in the morgue. He obviously was not unfamiliar with death, but did that make it easier to face mauled and mutilated bodies? She could only imagine the destruction he had seen under Junon. More nightmare images to add to all of the ones already weighing on him.

"The monster bodies are being brought back to the WRO lab here. Maybe there will be a link to the monster Yuffie already found. If not, then I have no idea what's going on. Never mind. I have no idea what's going on anyway." Cloud's eyes closed again, and Tifa could almost see all of the tension he was carrying around, the anxiety and frustration that he was holding in so tightly. She watched him, reminded again of how very young he was--how young they both were--and how many burdens he had on his shoulders. He was carrying her burdens, too, and it made her feel guiltier than ever. She didn't want to be the cause of any of his pain, but she was.

She reached over and rested her hand on his shoulder. His eyes snapped open and he looked at her. Without moving off of her seat, Tifa leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. She felt the tension in his muscles ease the tiniest bit, and his arms came slowly back around her, his head dropping down until his forehead was resting on her shoulder. Last time Tifa had held him, it had been for her comfort. Now, she could only hope that she was giving some comfort, any at all, to him.

Chapter Text

"Then the princess had to hide the dragon so the king wouldn't kill her friend."

Cloud stopped at the edge of Marlene's room, which she had shared with Denzel up until some months ago. It now had only Marlene's bed in it, but Denzel was sitting on the end of the bed, his knees tucked up to his chest while he listened to Tifa read aloud from an old storybook. It was something Tifa tried to do every week on their family day, no matter how old the kids got.

Cloud leaned against the doorframe and watched Marlene snuggle up closer to Tifa while Denzel shook his head. "This story's written all wrong," Denzel said.

Marlene nodded in agreement. "The writer either doesn't know anything about real princesses and dragons, or she just wanted to be silly. Otherwise it would have a ninja princess throwing a shuriken at a nasty dragon trying to eat everyone. After the princess stole from it," she said thoughtfully.

Tifa laughed and Cloud grinned. This was apparently what happened when he and Tifa raised children--their lives were filled with stranger people and stories than anything they could read about. "Well, if you two are going to come up with a better version of the story, should I even bother reading this one?" Tifa asked teasingly.

"Yes," both kids said promptly. "Because we have to see if the princess gets to marry the knight," Marlene added.

"Of course she will," Denzel said with a roll of his eyes. "That's how these books always end. But I want to see if the knight will kill the dragon first."

"He'll only almost kill it," Marlene replied. "Otherwise it wouldn't be a kids' book." She looked up at Tifa expectantly, and with a smile, Tifa continued reading.

Cloud kept watching from the doorway, listening to Tifa's voice, but his mind was on the kids. On Marlene and Denzel, and on kids in general. He and Tifa had talked a little after their visit with Professor Dorne, and it had come down to the same thing it always seemed to come down to: he wasn't ready for that step. Still, he'd been thinking a lot in the month since then, and he was beginning to think that having gone through all the decisions that had led to marrying Tifa had widened his perspective on a lot of things. So much of the way he had always thought had been about what he could do differently. How he could be stronger, how he had failed, how he could hurt his family, how he could be damaged…but in considering the complications of having biological children with Tifa, he had been forced to look outside his own box, outside the sphere of what hurt he could cause by fathering a child. There was the growing realization that it wasn't just his problem. There were so many people who were affected by everything Dorne had told him and Tifa. Other people who were in the same situation, parents who'd had Geostigma and were having kids without any idea of all the potential dangers. In some ways that could be worrying--what if there was another Geostigma outbreak because babies were being born with active Jenova cells and some parents were unaware? What if a baby was born who ended up growing to be as twisted and dangerous as Sephiroth?

At the same time, what was everyone going to do? Just stop procreating because of what might happen? Were people going to start being tested so that only the "pure" could have children? That sort of thought process could be even more dangerous. He especially thought about it when he looked at Denzel and Marlene and all their friends. Denzel had suffered from Geostigma--many children had. What was their generation supposed to do? Not ever have kids? Would the Jenova cells ever be completely eradicated so that this wouldn't be a concern for future generations?

He had no idea, and that's what it came down to. He couldn't know what would happen if he and Tifa had a baby. Just like he hadn't known what would happen if he married Tifa. He had run away from so much, avoided so much in his life because he was afraid of what pain could be caused--pain to himself, pain to others--but over the years he had been slowly making decisions to try. Try to rebuild Seventh Heaven and find his life again. Try to be a father figure to two kids. Try to rescue those kids when they were taken from him. Try to let Tifa close to him. With every successful step, it made the next one a little easier to take. And with every step he took, it was another realization that he couldn't live his entire life in a constant fear of 'what if.'

His eyes lingered on Tifa, seeing her contentment as she read to the kids, and a slight smile lifted the corners of his mouth. It seemed that having this family was just teaching him more everyday about how to let go--teaching him how to live a day at a time and how to keep moving forward with hope instead of doubt.

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Chapter Nineteen - We All Fall Down

No one slept that night. Cira Burke called back several hours later and said that Izzi had not come home, and that even as withdrawn as he had been, it was unlikely he would just run away.

Cloud put a call in to Reeve, and it was then that they discovered the problem was even bigger than they had thought. Tifa listened to Cloud's conversation, which mostly included, "Yeah. When? Where?" When he hung up the phone, he turned to Tifa and said, "There have been more disappearances. The girl in Nibelheim was the first. There was an old man from Kalm who went missing this morning, and now Reeve said a little boy from Kalm was reported missing, too. And there were three disappearances reported today in Edge."

"All kids in Edge?" Tifa asked worriedly. The old man in Kalm would certainly be odd if the rest of the missing people were all children.

"No. Two kids--Izzi and another girl I didn't know. Reeve says she's fourteen, which is probably why I didn't know her. And a woman whose husband called the WRO when she didn't come home from work tonight." Cloud's face was a mask, but his eyes were shouting volumes of emotions. "That's six total that we know about. There could be others missing, too. We still don't even know if they're all related."

"They sure seem suspicious."

Cloud nodded. "Reeve's organizing searches of Edge right now, just in case…"

In case what? They weren't really missing? In case someone had mugged them, or killed them and left them in an alley somewhere?

"Cloud?" Denzel's voice drew both Tifa and Cloud's gaze to the door to the living area, where Denzel was standing. Judging from his expression, he had been listening to their conversation. "I want to go look. I want to join one of the searches."

"Me, too," Marlene piped up, appearing next to Denzel in the doorway.

Cloud said quietly, "I thought you would. You can come, but you're going to stay with me. I told Reeve I'd help," he told Tifa.

She folded her arms. "I'm coming, too."

Though they spent a lot of the night combing through Edge with a group of other people, no trace of any of the missing people was found. By the time they trudged back to Seventh Heaven, it was nearly dawn. Marlene was riding on Cloud's back, her eyes mostly closed, and even Denzel was stumbling on his feet. He didn't speak a word when Tifa unlocked and opened the front door, but ran upstairs. She heard the slam of his door and bit her lip.

Marlene slipped off of Cloud's back, swaying on her feet and nearly falling over before Cloud put out a steadying hand. Tifa wrapped her arm around Marlene and led her toward the stairs. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get you into bed."

Tifa was exhausted, too, and more than a little emotionally drained. After Marlene fell into her bed, eyes already closing, Tifa hesitated in front of Denzel's closed door. It was bad enough everything he had just been through. She knew he had been struggling so hard lately; it seemed the only thing holding him steady was the daily routine they'd had the past days, but now a huge wrench had been thrown into that. One of his closest friends was missing, right in the wake of tragedy and heartbreak of losing other friends. Would these children ever get a chance to recover?

Footsteps on the stairs announced Cloud's presence, and he stopped when he saw her in front of Denzel's door. Tifa looked at him worriedly. "Maybe we should try to talk to him?" she whispered.

Cloud rubbed a hand tiredly across his eyes. He looked at Denzel's door for a long moment, and then nodded briefly. He stepped forward and knocked. "Denzel?"

There was absolute silence. Cloud slowly turned the handle and cracked the door open, looking inside. Over his shoulder, Tifa saw Denzel splayed on face-down on his bed. She could see one of his eyes; it was closed. Whether he was asleep or pretending to be asleep, it didn't seem he was going to be talking at that moment.

Cloud stepped into the room and tugged a blanket over Denzel. It tightened something in Tifa's chest. Even after everything Cloud had been through in the last twenty-four hours, when he was so worn thin himself, he was taking time to take care of Denzel.

Cloud stepped back out of the room and shut the door. "We'll talk to him later today." He rubbed his eyes again and looked at Tifa. "You should get some sleep. You look exhausted."

"I look exhausted?" Tifa could only shake her head. "I'm not the one who was attacked and poisoned today. Yesterday," she amended, realizing that the sun would soon be rising. "How's your arm doing?" Before he could answer, she touched his arm and turned it so she could see the scratch marks on it. It looked even better than it had the night before; the skin around the scratches was no longer red.

"I heal pretty fast," Cloud muttered, stifling a yawn.

"But you still need sleep." Tifa walked into their room and flopped down onto the bed. Her eyelids were heavy and her head was pounding.

Cloud stopped in the doorway and leaned against the frame. "Two months ago, Denzel tried to join the WRO."

Tifa looked over at him. "But…he's ten."

"Yeah. He didn't tell us about it. He snuck out and met with Reeve about joining. It ended up being a good thing, because Denzel's story made Reeve decide not to let kids into the WRO anymore. It's why I started taking Denzel on deliveries with me."

Tifa thought she understood. "So that he would feel like he was doing something?"

"Mm." Cloud nodded. "I started teaching him to fight, too. We taught both of the kids how to defend themselves, but I've been taking it further with Denzel. He needs to be doing something. He wants to--he wants to be strong. How he thinks of someone being strong. He feels indebted to everyone who saved him and protected him over the years."

It clicked into place perfectly in Tifa's mind, and she sat slowly up on the bed. "He wants to be the protector."

"Yeah."

Tifa pressed her fingers to her eyes and lay back down. Just that bit of information, knowing that Denzel had tried to join the WRO, made everything a little clearer about how he might be processing everything that had happened to him.

The weight on the bed shifted and she lowered her hands to see Cloud sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her. "I…" For a moment, she thought he was going to talk, but he just shook his head. The weight on his shoulders seemed to have doubled during the night. She was worried about him as much as she was worried about Denzel, but she didn't know how best to express that. Didn't know how to make it better. Or maybe she didn't know if she could make it better. She was doing better with him, but there was still distance between them. An obvious, gaping distance between them. After living with Cloud for the past week, she had definitely come to care about him. But could she say she was in love with him?

It didn't help that she had that constant, niggling voice in the back of her mind that told her she was supposed to be in love with him, that she had been in love with him, so why couldn't she just be in love with him again? Didn't he deserve that? He did; she knew he deserved to have her back as he'd had her before. When, she wondered, did caring about a man change to being in love with him? What was the defining moment? Was there a defining moment, or was it something gradual? If there was a specific instance, what had it been for her before?

She closed her eyes, but her mind was racing, her thoughts spinning in a cycle of worry and questions, Cloud and Denzel, the entirety of the situation they were all caught up in. Her waking thoughts finally blurred, but the questions and concern were present even in her dreams.

:--:--:--:--:

Daylight was shining through the bedroom windows when Tifa woke suddenly, sitting up in bed with her hands balled into fists. She was aware that something had awakened her suddenly, but she wasn't sure what.

Her sudden movement also woke Cloud, who took one look at her tense posture and sat up quickly in bed, already alert.

There was a sudden clattering coming from downstairs. It was probably one of the kids--the clock showed that it was past lunchtime--but after everything going on, Tifa was automatically wary. Cloud was too, it seemed. He grabbed one of his swords from where he had set them against the bedroom wall, and they both left the bedroom without speaking. Denzel's door was cracked open and his bed was empty, so he seemed likely to be the one who was making noise. Marlene was still sleeping.

It took a moment to find Denzel. He was in the garage, with both the laundry room door and the garage door shut, and he was so intent on what he was doing that he didn't even hear the garage door open. Tifa stood next to Cloud and peered over at the space where she had rediscovered her martial arts abilities. The punching bag was being repeatedly kicked and hit by Denzel's one good hand, but they weren't controlled kicks and punches. Nothing about his posture was controlled; he was hunched over and even from the doorway Tifa could hear his ragged breathing.

Tifa stood frozen, her heart breaking for what felt like the hundredth time that week, as Denzel gave a yell of frustration and beat his fist against the punching bag before collapsing against it.

Cloud set his sword down and moved forward at the same time Tifa did, but he reached Denzel first and touched his shoulder. Denzel gasped and jumped, and only then did he notice that he had company. He stared between Cloud and Tifa. "I…I…was just…"

"Denzel," Cloud said quietly.

Denzel's eyes went to Cloud, and he shook his head. "Don't tell me it's okay."

"I wasn't going to. It's not okay."

"I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help. Not in finding Izzi. Not in anything. I couldn't even help myself! I couldn't get out of the school and it's my fault, it's my fault!" Denzel had tears streaming down his cheeks and sudden understanding hit Tifa like a bolt of lightning.

She stepped forward and cupped Denzel's face in her hands, looking right into his eyes. "What happened to me is not your fault."

Denzel squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "I should have gotten out."

"A lot of people didn't get out," Cloud said quietly.

"I should have!" A horrible gasping sound came from Denzel, his anger and anguish and guilt radiating off of him.

"Denzel," Tifa said firmly, "it's not your fault. Look at me." His eyes opened, and she slid her hands down to his shoulders. "It's not your fault."

"No one blames you," Cloud told him. "No one."

Denzel's shoulders were trembling under Tifa's hands. "It's okay to hurt," she whispered. "It's okay to be angry."

His gaze snapped back to hers. "Are you angry?" His voice was shaky, too.

"Not at you," Tifa said softly.

Denzel's face crumpled and Tifa pulled him close. He resisted for only a moment, and then he was holding onto her tightly, his entire body shuddering. He didn't sob, didn't make noise, but his tears dripped steadily onto Tifa's shirt. Cloud stood behind him with one hand on his back until Denzel drew away from Tifa, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He gave Cloud and Tifa a lingering glance, and then hurried out of the garage.

As soon as he disappeared into the house, Tifa let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "I didn't realize…" she whispered. "I didn't realize he blamed himself for what happened to me." She felt awful, first because Denzel had been blaming himself for so long, and second because she should have known it. If she hadn't forgotten so much about her own son, then maybe she would have known sooner.

Cloud's eyes were on hers, and he shook his head a little. "It's not your fault, either, Tifa."

They held each other's gaze for a moment longer, and then Cloud turned and headed back into the house. Tifa remained where she was, her eyes following Cloud. He was suffering, too, and she wondered how long he could maintain his current pace before he crashed.

Can things get any more broken? How can we fix the pieces if they keep falling apart?

Chapter Text

Once a week, a lot of people in Edge gathered in one section of the city to sell their wares--fresh fruits and vegetables, homemade items, and other trinkets. Cloud took Marlene with him to the market to pick up some fresh food. She trotted along happily beside him, chatting about her week in school while Cloud sorted through the vegetables on one vendor's cart. The woman selling the food beamed at them while Marlene continued, "And next week we're going to be visiting the WRO to learn about how it runs, except I already know how it works because of Reeve."

Cloud paid the woman for the vegetables. She thanked him and then added, "Your daughter is adorable."

The corner of Cloud's mouth turned up and he said, "Thanks."

Marlene slipped her hand into Cloud's as they headed to the next vendor. "Cloud?" she said after a moment.

"Mm?"

"Does it bother you when people call me your daughter?"

He hadn't expected that question. Before he could answer, Marlene continued hurriedly, "I know that Papa will always be my father. But you and Tifa take care of me and you guys always tell people that I'm your daughter and…"

Cloud stopped in the middle of the street and put a hand on Marlene's shoulder, waiting until she was looking at him before he asked, "Does it bother you?"

Marlene's eyes widened in surprise. "No!" she said. "I…" She bit her lip, suddenly looking a little guilty. She stared at her feet for a moment, and then back up at Cloud. "I always remember Tifa. I don't ever remember her not taking care of me. She's always told people that I'm her daughter, and I am," she said fiercely, with pride in her voice.

Cloud nodded. Marlene had hardly been more than a baby when Tifa had first met Barret and begun to help raise Marlene.

"You don't really tell people I’m your daughter, I guess," Marlene said. "But you don't tell them I'm not, and if people ask if I'm your daughter, you just nod and smile…"

Cloud continued to watch her while other pedestrians walked around them, wondering what was going through her mind and what she was trying to get at. She finally sighed and said, "Is it bad that I hardly remember living with Papa?"

He searched for an answer to that. "No, Marlene. You haven't lived with Barret for a long time." Then, wondering if that might be the problem, he asked, "Does it upset you that you don't live with him?" Could he and Tifa have missed this somehow in Marlene? He had thought her well-adjusted and happy, which sometimes surprised him given everything that had happened to her.

There was a brief pause and then she shook her head. "I talk to him on the phone a lot and I get to see him sometimes, but Seventh Heaven is…home. With Tifa and Denzel and you. Is that…am I normal?" Marlene looked up at him, her forehead furrowed, and Cloud realized this was going to be a longer discussion than just a few simple questions.

Taking her hand, he said, "Let's go sit down for a few minutes." The market could wait. He led her down the street and around a corner to an empty bench in front of a restaurant. "What do you mean, are you normal? Has someone told you that you're not?"

"All the kids at school have different families. Different lives. Some of them don't have any parents. Some of them have adoptive parents, like me and Denzel. Some still have their birthparents. But when people ask me who my dad is…sometimes I don't know what to say. I feel…I feel bad." She wrapped her arms around herself and she stared across the street, her eyes not really focused on anything. "The night Papa first left...I was four, but I remember some of what he said. He told me a lot of things. He told me that he wanted to make things safe for me so I could be happy growing up. He told me he didn't always know what to do if he wasn't fighting, even if there wasn't anything to fight. I didn't really understand what he meant then, but I think I know better now."

She turned her gaze back to Cloud. "It was like that with you, too, for a while. But you came back home. To me and Denzel and Tifa. And even though Barret's my papa…you're…you're like my dad, too. Right? But…do you…"

Cloud couldn't remember the last time when he'd heard Marlene sound so uncertain. Usually she was the one who spoke so strongly about everything. He continued to wait, and Marlene finally said, "Do you really see me as your daughter?"

A hundred memories of Marlene were suddenly flashing through Cloud's mind…memories of teaching her to read and write, of listening to her stories, walking her to school, playing games, building sand castles with her, bandaging scraped knees, being there when she pulled her first loose tooth and being mildly disgusted when she happily waved it in his face, taking turns with Tifa in teaching her how to defend herself against a grown man, feeling pride with every good decision she made, helping with homework, sneaking her chocolate before breakfast…

He smiled and wrapped an arm around her, squeezing her shoulders. "Yes."

Marlene sighed and leaned against him. "I'm glad I get to have you as part of my family." Then she looked up at him and a sly expression crept into her eyes. "I'll be glad to help if you and Tifa have any babies, too."

Cloud almost choked. "What?"

Marlene gave him an 'oh, please' sort of look. "You and Tifa went to see that professor in Mideel."

"Marlene…"

"I know; it's none of my business. But…" Marlene grinned cheekily. "Just thought I'd let you know I would be a very good babysitter."

Cloud shook his head and tugged on her braid. "I hear you're also pretty good at picking out vegetables."

Marlene hopped off the bench and took Cloud's hand again. "Okay, okay, I get it." She twisted her fingers over her lips in an indication of silence, a gesture she had picked up from Tifa. It only made Cloud's smile wider as they walked back toward the market.

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Chapter Twenty - Packages and Promises

Barret called that afternoon, wanting to make sure they were all okay after hearing about the disappearances of people in Edge. Tifa was used to his phone calls by now; he called pretty much every day to talk to Marlene, and always ended his calls by talking to Tifa for a minute or two. He never asked her if she had remembered anything, and he always told her to make sure she took care of herself. It was a little strange, because she still had absolutely no memories of Barret, but at the same time, she knew they had a long history, and she could hear his concern for her in his gruff voice.

That evening, Yuffie invited herself to dinner. "I told you I'd come on your first day off, and this is it! I can only spare about an hour right now; things at the WRO are crazy." She was balancing several bags in one arm and a huge, flat rectangular package in the other. "I brought dinner! I didn't have time to cook anything, so I grabbed some food from a restaurant near my place."

Tifa helped relieve Yuffie of her food; it certainly smelled good. "Thank you."

"Whew. If I didn't get out of the office for a few minutes, I was gonna strangle Shelke," Yuffie sighed. "She's running analyses on data and then things at the lab are crazy because Professor Dorkus showed up to get a better look at the monster corpses. Things are just plain busy at headquarters and Reeve's--you know what, I don't even want to talk about it. Let's talk about you guys instead!"

They moved to the living room, where Tifa opened the bags and set cartons of food around on the table. They all sat on cushions to eat. Even Denzel, who had only picked at his lunch, ate a lot--but that may have been because Yuffie sat beside him, dumped half a carton of food on his plate, and squeezed him around the shoulders. "Eat up, Denz! Gotta keep your strength up!"

Tifa wondered if Yuffie realized exactly what those words might have meant to Denzel. She knew she might not have realized it before Denzel's earlier breakdown, but when Denzel stared down at his plate and then slowly began eating the food, she suspected it might have had more to do with the idea of keeping his strength up than because he was actually very hungry.

As soon as Yuffie had eaten, she ran back into the bar and brought in the large, flat package, shoving it into Tifa's hands. "That's for you." She threw a wink at the kids, then told Tifa, "If that doesn't help you remember something…well, I'll just have to come up with something more creative." She bounced on her feet in anticipation.

Cloud shot Yuffie a narrowed-eyed look of suspicion, but Yuffie only waggled her eyebrows at him.

Curious, Tifa opened the package. Denzel and Marlene leaned over the table to see what was inside. As soon as it was revealed, Cloud's eyes widened, Marlene started giggling, and Denzel's eyes brightened. Tifa simply stared. It was a photograph that was blown up large enough to cover half a door. A photograph of her and Cloud...asleep on the bar floor? She held it at arm's length to get a better look at it. Yes, that was definitely the bar floor. And that was definitely her and Cloud. She was lying half on top of him, and their heads were underneath one of the tables with a broom lying nearby.

Tifa frowned at it. Whatever memory Yuffie was hoping to jolt, it wasn't coming, and Yuffie seemed to realize it. She stopped jumping up and down. "You don't remember?"

Tifa silently shook her head, not sure what to say. It was hard enough living with the constant reminder of everything she had forgotten. Being put on the spot was even more uncomfortable, especially when faced with an image of her half-lying on top of Cloud. Judging from the expressions on everyone else's faces, it was an important moment, and having to admit that she didn't remember it was just another jab, however unintentional, at Cloud. Another 'oh, here's another memory of you that's gone.'

Yuffie deflated. "Not anything?"

"Yuffie." Cloud's voice was sharper than usual, and Tifa glanced at him to see him giving Yuffie a warning look.

"I took that picture," Marlene said. She circled the table and sat down next to Tifa. "But Yuffie saw it one day and took it. She copied it and sent it to all of your friends."

"And then she had to pay Cid because he won the bet going on when you two would get together," Denzel added.

So...this had something to do with how she and Cloud had ended up together as a couple?

"What!?" Yuffie protested indignantly. "Don't you know not to listen to Cid by now, Denz? Geez."

"I heard it from Vincent," Denzel said.

"That's even worse!" Yuffie exclaimed. She snatched the giant photo from Tifa, walked over to the wall, and had it hanging at a slightly sideways angle before anyone could protest. "There! Maybe if you see it a lot it'll help you remember." She frowned at the picture. "Operation memory recall, stage one was a flop." Then she shrugged. "Oh, well, onto stage two! But right now, I've gotta go. I'm due back at the office."

It wasn't until later that night, when the kids were asleep, that Tifa walked back into the living room and stared at the tilted photo stuck to the wall.

"I'll take it down."

Tifa glanced over her shoulder to see Cloud standing in the doorway. He moved forward, pulling it off the wall. "Yuffie doesn't always think."

"It's okay. She was trying to help. I just…" Just what? She didn't even know why this photograph was supposed to be so memorable. She didn't know why she and Cloud had fallen asleep on the floor of the bar or why Marlene had taken a picture of it. She had been asking Cloud whenever she had questions about an event in her past, but something kept her from asking about this one. Maybe the expression in his eyes, maybe his reaction when Tifa had opened the picture and been unable to remember it. She kept quiet while he took the giant photo upstairs; she heard his footsteps and assumed he was putting it away somewhere.

Sighing, Tifa stood in the living room for a moment longer before turning and heading for the kitchen. She still needed to start making dough to put in the fridge overnight so she could use it for the next day's lunch menu. There was something rather cathartic about the smell and feel of the dough under her hands, and as she kneaded it and punched it into shape, some of her frustration eased a little. It was a constant battle…the build up of anxieties and emotions, the release, the build up…she felt like she was caught in a vicious cycle and she didn't know how to get it to end.

She heard the shower start up right when she was finishing the dough. She put it in the refrigerator and glanced down at herself; she had flour all over her shirt and dough plastered to her fingers. It was when she was scrubbing her hands clean in the sink that she realized the dough was stuck into the indentations of the wolf ring on her right hand. Frowning, she worked it off her finger and used the sponge to scrub the dough out of the cracks before shoving it back on. Turning the water off, she stared down at both of her hands, at the rings on her fingers. The wolf ring obviously had some significance, though she didn't know what, except that Cloud had a matching earring and Denzel wore an identical ring on a chain around his neck. And her wedding band...

She walked absently back into the living room and sank onto the couch, twisting it around her finger, this ring that was a symbol of so much in her life--so much of what had been, and so much that wasn't. It made her feel like an imposter sometimes, looking down at this ring, or seeing the wedding band on Cloud's own finger.

Tifa held her left hand up in front of her face and studied the wedding ring. What had it been like the moment Cloud had put it on her finger? What steps had they walked to get to that moment?

She hesitated before slipping the ring off her finger and bringing it closer to her face. She wasn't sure if she had ever taken it off before and felt a little guilty about removing it even for a moment. She turned it over in her fingers, watching the light glint off of the silver. She didn't know what she was doing. Maybe hoping that if she stared at it long enough, she would recall something? Nothing had come to mind when she had seen her wedding picture, though, so why would playing with a ring make a difference?

She sighed and was about to put it back on her finger--it felt strangely empty without it--when she caught a glimpse of something, an inscription engraved on the inside of the ring. She lifted it back up to her eyes and squinted at the tiny words written there: I promise.

Those two words, seemingly simple, stole her breath away as images came flooding into her mind. It was as if she had tripped something in her head and it was all she could do to keep up with everything she was seeing.

…sitting at the old well with Cloud. They were so young, so full of life and dreams. But he was leaving. He was going to join the army and even though they weren't particularly close, she found herself strangely disappointed that he would be going.

"Hey, why don't we make a promise? Umm, if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind…you come save me, all right?"

"What?"

"Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. I want to at least experience that once."

"What?"

"Come on! Promise me!"

"All right…I promise…"

She gasped, but the images were still flashing, changing…

…she was bleeding, bleeding out from the wound Sephiroth had given her; she was lying broken at the bottom of the stairs in the Mako reactor, but there were arms underneath her, lifting her and carrying her. The arms set her down and a hand was brushing her hair away from her face. Her eyes blinked open and there he was. "Cloud…so you really did come for me."

A little smile of relief flitted across his face, though his eyes were burning with such worry and pain.

"You kept our promise. You really came here when I was in a pinch."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm a little bit late."

"It's all right…Cloud…"

She was blinking rapidly, trying to sort out what she was seeing, what she was remembering, these broken pieces in her mind...

…Cloud looking at her. "It's dangerous. You sure you want to go?"

"Mm. But you know, it should be all right if you keep your promise."

Promises. Her life with him was full of promises...

…the night in front of the Highwind, alone with Cloud. Thinking of when they had fallen into the Lifestream. "You probably don't remember this," she said, tears spilling down her cheeks, "but deep in my heart I heard you calling my name. Or at least I thought I did."

"Yeah," Cloud said quietly. "At that time I heard you calling me. You were calling me back in from the stream of consciousness in the Lifestream." A pause. "After all, I promised. That if anything were to ever happen to you, I would come to help."

She was gripping her wedding ring in her fist; she could feel the metal in her hand but she wasn't seeing what was around her...

…sitting on the couch with him, knowing that he was still trying to figure out how to be in a relationship with her. Realizing that it was still difficult for him. "It's okay," she told him, holding his hand tightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Cloud."

There was that expression on his face before he turned his eyes away from her. The look that told her he had been broken so many times that he didn't see how anyone could always be there.

She let go of his hand and wound her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder and breathing in deeply. "I love you. No matter what, you'll always have that. I promise."

Pieces of her life, flashing through months and years…

…standing in the kitchen after the bar fight, after Cloud had put a bandage on her cheek. She was so frustrated. He was still trying to protect her from himself and she wanted him to stop. She needed him to stop. So when he asked what was bothering her, she finally told him. "You can't protect me from everything. No. I don't want you to try. Cloud…I'll never regret the promise that we made all those years ago. It's meant more to me than you'll ever know…"

She was breathing rapidly, struggling to process what she was seeing...

...holding Cloud's hands while all of their friends watched, promising him to stay with him through everything…pain and laughter, trials and celebrations.

Tifa squeezed her eyes shut, her ring digging into her palm because she was holding it so tightly. She had a feeling that she had just found an answer to something in her relationship with Cloud, that a huge piece of that puzzle had snapped into place. "I promise," she whispered aloud, hardly aware that she was speaking. She had promised. She had promised to love him, promised he would always have that.

Cloud had made her promises, too…he had come for her when she needed him. He was still there, now, even though she had broken her promise to him--broken her promise that he would have her love no matter what. He knew she had said that; he couldn't have forgotten.

Tifa opened her eyes and tucked her legs up to her chest, battling the rising ache in her chest, the pain that was squeezing her insides and making it hard to breathe. She opened her fist and stared at the ring within. Her hands were shaking as she picked up the ring and slowly slid it back onto her finger. The chain of memories that she had just recalled were all jostling in her mind, and Cloud's face was there…his smile, his voice, his worry and hope and fear and love, all there in her head and look at the mess she was putting him through now, when he had already been through so much.

A sob shook her shoulders, and then she was weeping into her knees, choking on her own cries because she was trying so desperately not to make noise. But it didn't matter how quiet she tried to be. Cloud found her anyway. She didn't hear his footsteps come into the room, didn't know he was there until his worried voice said, "Tifa?"

Her head came up from her knees. He was crossing the room toward her, and there was that expression on his face. The worry and the care that she saw every time he looked at her, no matter what else he was feeling--no matter how angry or frustrated he was, there was always that spark of light in his eyes when he looked at her. Tonight, overwhelmed by everything she had just remembered, the promises made, promises kept, and promises broken…it was too much. She stood up from the couch before Cloud could reach her, and she shook her head, her tears still flowing down her face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Cloud." She ran around him and fled upstairs, shutting herself in the bathroom, which was warm and full of steam from Cloud's shower.

She had some memory of her love for Cloud, which wasn't the same thing as loving him, and she would have thought at least remembering that she had loved him at all would have made it easier, that maybe it would have made her suddenly love him again, but it only made this whole thing more difficult. She slid down against the door and stared up at the ceiling, her tears slowly starting to dry, but leaving a dull, hollow aching in her chest.

...two teenagers sitting at a well…

Chapter Text

Tifa was upset when Cloud came home. More than upset, if the way she was putting glasses away with more force than usual was any indication. He could hear each solid smack as the bottoms of the glasses met the shelves. She barely glanced up when he came in, didn't even offer a greeting.

Worried, Cloud slid his sword harness off his back and set it by the door before approaching her behind the counter. "Hey."

She nodded at him, her mouth pressed in a thin line. "Hey."

"What happened?"

She shook her head and he could see the frustration in her eyes. "Denzel," she finally managed. "Some…ugh." She slammed one final glass down on the shelf and turned to face him. "Denzel came home from Aria's tonight with a black eye and some bruises. He said that on the way home he ran into several boys--all older than him--who were picking on another kid, so he stepped in and they tried to beat him up. He defended himself against all three of them. He did exactly what we taught him to do."

Cloud's eyes went in the direction of Denzel's room. "He's okay?"

"He's fine. He didn't want me fussing over him." She sighed. "You know Denzel."

Cloud looked at her carefully. "Getting into trouble with other kids is a normal thing, especially for boys." He didn't like the idea of Denzel getting into fights, but it was bound to happen at some point--and he was proud of him for defending someone against bullies.

"I know," Tifa said, still obviously agitated. "That's not the issue here."

"Then what is?"

Tifa folded her arms tightly across her chest. "Not long after Denzel came home, I had one of the other kid's parents show up at the bar demanding I do something because Denzel broke their son's nose. They said some really nasty things--they called Denzel a liar and told me I have no business being a mother if I can't control my own child and--they just caused a big ruckus in the bar until I got them out." She looked at Cloud, undoubtedly seeing his own anger, because she shook her head and some of her ire melted away. "I took care of it, Cloud. It just made me really mad. And I don't want to think about it anymore right now."

Cloud held his hands out to her. She looked at him for a moment before unfolding her arms and putting her hands in his. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "You're a great mother, Tifa."

She closed her eyes and leaned against him, and he felt more of her tension drain away. "Thank you."

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Twenty-One - Beauty in the Breakdown

What the hell just happened?

Tifa ran from the room while Cloud stood there in stunned confusion. Her footsteps raced up the stairs and then the bathroom door shut. Something had obviously upset her to the point of tears, but he didn't know what.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled. He was beyond exhausted. He'd had only a few hours of sleep since Tifa woke up two nights earlier with that memory of the gas chamber, unless he counted forced unconsciousness due to poisoning. In the past two days he'd been attacked, nearly killed, involved in an all-night search party, witnessed Denzel's emotional meltdown, and been faced with Yuffie and that damn photograph. The photograph which had been the cause of much laughter in his past, but which was now the cause of additional frustration. It was now stuffed behind the desk in his office.

He hesitated in the threshold of the door leading into the bar. He still hadn't heard the bathroom door opened and he knew he couldn't handle any accidental bathroom towel incidents with Tifa, so he wasn't going to bother her while she was in there. He just didn't know if he had the energy or the will to try to figure out what Tifa was upset about now. He just wanted a strong drink and a long, numbing sleep.

He poured himself a shot of liquor and downed it in one gulp. He hated this, hated what this was doing to their family. Hated that Tifa was crying. Hated that he couldn't make it better.

He poured another shot for good measure and swallowed it before washing the glass and trudging up the stairs. He was momentarily worried when he saw that Marlene wasn't in her bed, but relaxed when he found her in Denzel's room, curled up asleep against him in his bed. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary; the kids always crept into each other's rooms during thunderstorms and he and Tifa pretended not to notice. Though there were no thunderstorms outside, their lives had certainly been tossed around enough that maybe they had just needed each other.

Cloud turned into his and Tifa's room and fell facedown onto the bed just as the bathroom door finally opened. He looked over as Tifa walked quietly into the room. Her face was dry, but her eyes were still red. She barely glanced his way as she gathered up her pajamas and went back into the bathroom to change. It wasn't until she came and sat on the bed that he asked, "What happened?"

He grimaced inwardly; his voice wasn't portraying the concern he felt. He just sounded drained, even to his own ears. And there was part of him--the part, he knew, that was just completely spent--that didn't even want to ask, didn't want to hear what had evoked such a strong response in her, at least not until he'd recovered a little himself. He mentally stomped on that part of him and kept his eyes fixed on Tifa, waiting for an answer.

Tifa picked up her memory journal and flipped it open. "I…"

Cloud's eyes narrowed. "You remembered something." His mind was speeding through moments that could have upset her so much--things she hadn't yet recalled. There were plenty left to make her cry--her mother's death, Cloud leaving her and the kids after he got Geostigma--but he couldn't think of any that would have led her to apologize to him.

Tifa stared down at her journal. Her shoulders sagged and she snapped it closed, shoving it back away without writing a single word in it. "I'm not sure how to…I'm just…I don't know." She looked at him, and her expression was more confused than it was lost or upset. "I don't know."

:--:--:--:--:

The next day, Cloud went with Denzel to pick up Aria, who looked only slightly better than Denzel, which wasn't saying much. They went back to the bar and opened as scheduled. It seemed almost laughable that they should even be continuing with any semblance of normality when there were still people missing, when there were monster bodies currently being examined at the WRO lab, when Cloud's whole life was just continually falling apart.

For some people who came into the bar, their conversations and lives seemed unaffected by the recent events in Edge. Maybe they were. Not everyone was right at the center of disaster as Cloud and his family was. Other customers were understandably more anxious than usual. Anxious people drank more--and they talked more. Chatter at the bar that day often passed over the mystery of the missing people. Cloud could tell it was getting to all three kids, who were trying to help in the bar. When one of the customers at the counter mentioned the possibility of those missing being dead, Aria, who was helping Tifa mix drinks, almost shouted at the surprised man, "You shouldn't say things like that!"

Marlene was the one who walked over and squeezed one of Aria's hands. "Come on, guys," she whispered, waving Denzel over and taking his hand as well. "We've gotta keep going, right? We can't give up."

Their tenacity was amazing. Even with all the guilt and the pain, they were doing their best to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Pain could make or break a person; it could teach them to move forward or it could pull them into a spiral of dark guilt and hopelessness. It could numb someone to death and killing or it could teach them empathy and understanding. With kids who had already been through so much pain, the fact that they were still willing to continue and that they were still holding each other up was a good sign.

After Aria's outburst, Tifa sent the kids into the living room, telling them firmly that they needed a break. Cloud thought she should be sending herself to the living room because she was obviously as frayed as the kids. It was obvious to him, at least. Outwardly, she was dealing with the customers comfortably and confidently, but something was still upsetting her--or maybe he was upsetting her.

Or…maybe not. He wasn't sure how to interpret the scrutinizing glances she kept giving him during the day. He kept catching her frowning at him thoughtfully or with a look of concentration on her face, as if she was trying to work something out.

"Are you okay?" he asked her at one point.

She gazed at him with the same searching look she had been shooting him all day. "Are you?"

He didn't answer.

As if the situation wasn't already bad enough, the power went out just after dinner. It was normal, but Cloud knew that when the power went out it could last minutes or hours depending on what was wrong, so he called the WRO to see if they knew what the cause of the outage was. It turned out an old cable had short-circuited and needed to be replaced, so the power would probably not come back on until at least the middle of the night. After half an hour of blundering around with candles, he and Tifa just closed the bar early.

The temperature inside began to drop; it was freezing outside and their heat wouldn't start working again until the power came back on. When he headed for bed, he checked on the kids and again found Marlene next to Denzel in his bed, but with all of her own blankets piled on top of his to keep them warm. He shut the door most of the way and went to lie down on his bed.

Tifa still didn't touch her journal when she came into their room. She sat again on the edge of the bed, her back to him, and Cloud gritted his teeth. He wanted to shake her, to do something to jolt her out of whatever frame of mind she was in, and the simple fact that it wasn't something that could just be fixed was more maddening than ever. To say it was just frustrating would have been like saying Don Corneo had been celibate.

Cloud sat up in bed and frowned at her back. "Will you at least tell me what you remembered?" If nothing else, maybe it would tell him why she had been so upset. Even if he couldn’t do anything to help, couldn't do anything to make it better.

Tifa picked up her journal. He heard the rustling of pages before she set it back down and turned around to face him. "Promises," she said. She had a distant look in her eyes--the look that showed she was still trying to work something out. "We made a lot of promises to each other."

Cloud's frown deepened and his mind clicked through their promises--their first promise at the well and the effects of that, the promises they made when they married...Tifa promising to always love him…

His mind stopped there. Oh. If that's what she had remembered, then her apology to him would make more sense. Maybe she felt guilty.

It was hard for him to think about, too. He especially didn't want to dwell on the one where she had promised she would always love him, because he didn't want to dwell on Tifa not being in love with him. Or not remembering loving him. It all came down to the same thing, which was that their relationship wasn't what it had been. "What promises did you remember?" he asked carefully.

"How many have we made?" Her gaze drifted away from his, her voice contemplative. "I remembered a lot about promises."

He didn't want to think about this anymore. Not right now. He was worn so thin and didn't think he could be stretched any more before he started being poked full of holes. It was ironic that after spending so much time with his head and memories so screwed around himself, after he had worked so hard to straighten his mind out, that all he wanted right now was just to not be inside his own head for a little while.

He and Tifa didn't speak again. She lay down and he slid down beside her, staring at the ceiling. He had been staring at it so much lately that he was beginning to get very well acquainted with all the little cracks and bumps and irregularities on it.

Even after Tifa's breathing changed into a regular sleeping pattern, Cloud was wide awake. He thought he might have been okay, that maybe he could have held his tension and frustration at bay had Tifa not rolled toward him in her sleep and nestled up next to him. Maybe she was cold with the power being out and she was subconsciously seeking body warmth; maybe she was just trying to get more comfortable. Whatever the case, it was the first time she had done that at all since the onset of her amnesia, and it was the worst time for it. The curves of her body pressed against him, her head was tucked up near his shoulder and her hair smelled like her, and hell if he could take it anymore.

He sat up and turned away from Tifa, raking his hands through his hair. Shit. He stood up and left the room, stepping into the bathroom and idiotically trying to switch on the light before remembering the power was still out. He splashed some cold water on his face, but it didn't do much to help.

He was tired. He was tired and this was killing him. He wanted the kids to be happy. He wanted them to smile and he wanted them to be safe. He wanted to know what the hell was going on with all of these damn monsters and missing people so that maybe, maybe things could start getting better again. Most of all, he wanted Tifa. He just wanted her.

Cloud splashed more cold water on his face. Frustrated, he yanked the bathroom door open and walked out into the hallway. He couldn't go back into his bedroom and he didn't want to lie in the guest room; he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep regardless. Barely thinking, he strapped First Tsurugi onto his back, tugged on his boots and jacket, and went downstairs into the garage. He needed a few minutes just to clear his head and get some space. He just wanted to shut everything out and try to forget it all for a little while.

He knew Tifa was doing her best, but it still wasn't enough. That made him feel worse than anything else; how could he ever possibly think that Tifa's best wasn't enough? After everything she had done for him in the past, anything she gave him should be enough. But after being married to her, after being able to know her intimately in every possible way, after being known in the same way, this was like living a stranger's life. Like living a half-life; he felt broken and incomplete and every time he thought maybe things were starting to get a little better, something else happened and shattered that.

Cloud opened the outside garage door and pushed Fenrir outside. There were a few snowflakes floating down from the sky here and there, but it was the first snow they'd had in days and it certainly wasn't enough to stick to the roads. He closed the garage door and heard the lock click shut. Jumping onto the back of his bike, he revved up the engine. It roared to life in the quiet night air, and then he was driving away from Seventh Heaven, through the streets of Edge, and then quickly out onto the open road outside of the city. The wind whipped through his hair and over his face, numbing his cheeks and lips. It felt good. It felt good to just drive, without any idea where he was going, to just have the fresh air and the space and only the sound of Fenrir in his ears.

:--:--:--:--:

Tifa woke up as soon as she heard the bathroom door shut, and a glance at the bedside clock showed that it was one thirty in the morning. The space in the bed beside her was empty, but still warm, so Cloud had probably just left the room. She heard running water in the bathroom, and then the door opened, but Cloud didn't return to the bedroom. He didn't even glance her way; she saw him rushing past the door, and then footsteps on the stairs. A minute or two later came the very loud roar of an engine. Slipping out of bed, Tifa walked over to the window in time to see Cloud racing down the street on his motorcycle.

Her brow creased in confusion. Where was he going? Thinking that maybe something had come up and he hadn't wanted to wake her, she padded downstairs to see if he had left a note instead, but she found nothing. No hint of where Cloud had gone or why.

Maybe his pace was finally slowing down…maybe the weight of everything he was carrying was finally taking its toll.

She didn't know, but she did know that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. She ended up sitting at the bar counter, fiddling with a stray napkin and thinking. She had been doing a lot of thinking that day about everything she had remembered. About Cloud. About their promises. About love. Some of the things she had already been mulling over, like love and what defined it and if she could define it.

After the initial emotional onslaught that had accompanied her chain of memories, guilt had come first, guilt and an overwhelming sense of failure, but as she had been sitting in the bathroom the night before in tears over these memories of promises, she'd had to step past that. What good was the guilt? It wasn't going to help her. It wasn't going to help Cloud. It was just going to keep her in an endless cycle of questioning and remorse. Once she had realized that, she had calmed down a lot and had been able to think over the memories clearly. She hadn't been ready to write about them in her journal, mostly because she had needed time to process everything. Process what these promises had meant to her...what they could still mean to her.

It was so easy when she thought about love in terms of Marlene and Denzel. It got more complicated when she thought about it in terms of Cloud, but she wasn't sure if it should be so complicated.

Maybe she was just missing the point entirely. Maybe it was so close to her that she wasn't seeing it for what it was. Maybe she was expecting too much or maybe she wasn't expecting enough. Just because she had been in love before, did it mean that she would realize what it really meant now? If she just stopped over thinking and analyzing everything, if she just accepted that things were what they were, maybe she could start to see that even if she couldn't change what had happened, she could still make it better for Cloud…for them…

If Cloud had showed her anything at all in her recent time with him, it was that love was selfless and giving. He had been dragging himself through hell for her and for the kids. Lately she had been thinking that she didn't know if she could make things better, or how to make them better. The more she thought about it, though, the more she saw that some things…some things she could choose. She couldn't fix things completely. She couldn't make all of her missing pieces suddenly snap into place or heal all the brokenness in her mind. But…

She was caught up on that but. She had been caught up on it all day, every time she looked at Cloud. She saw how much he was struggling, even if he didn't ever say anything about it.

By the time she heard the sound of Fenrir returning, she had been sitting there for nearly an hour. The napkin was in shreds on the counter in front of her and she was twisting her wedding ring in circles around her finger. Promises…love…choices…

Cloud…

She paused when she heard the laundry room door opening, wondering if Cloud would come into the bar or go upstairs. A moment later, he stepped through to the bar and froze when he saw her seated at the counter. There was a slight, surprised widening of his eyes before his face smoothed once more. He opened his mouth, then shook his head and turned around, walking right back out of the bar.

She stared down at the counter, at the heap of tiny pieces of napkin. Taking a deep breath, she slid off the barstool and followed him, catching up with him at the bottom of the stairs. She grabbed his wrist to get him to stop, and the look that he shot her when she touched him froze her to the floor. His eyes, usually so expressive, she couldn't read at all. "Can we talk?"

"This really isn't a good time." His eyes darted up the stairs.

"I…" She was so nervous. No, she was beyond nervous. Say it, just say it. "I've been thinking a lot today. About love. About you and me. If I remember loving you…and I care about you…shouldn't I…?"

Cloud twisted his wrist out of her grasp and spoke with careful control. "Be in love with me?"

Tifa winced. "I didn't mean--"

"Don't," he said shortly.

"Cloud--"

"Forget it, " he snapped.

Tifa's breath hitched and a look of sudden realization dawned on Cloud's face. She lifted her eyes to his and said softly, "I did. That's the whole problem."

"Tifa, I can't--I can't take this right n--" Cloud stopped talking abruptly when her lips touched his. It was cautious and a little uncertain. What if she had reached the wrong conclusion about all of this? Cloud was completely stiff, tension in every muscle of his body, his eyes burning when she pulled away. "Tifa." His voice was harsher than she was used to hearing it. "Don't--"

She stopped him with another kiss, this one less tentative. She had made her choice. She had made her choice a long time ago, and she remembered it. She had promised him that she would stay with him through anything. Even though she might not be sure where caring became love and where the distinction was, maybe she didn't need to know right now. She could choose to set all of her questions and uncertainties aside for this moment. She could choose to keep her promises and she could choose to give, to give herself to this man who loved her, who had married her, who had been pouring himself dry for her.

Cloud's hands rose, and for half a moment, she wasn't sure if he was going to push her away, but his fingers clenched on her shoulders and he drew her close, his mouth on hers and his body pressing her against the wall. And suddenly more memories were coming from the blackness in her mind...

…"Do you love me…?"

…holding him, kissing him that first time, while the barriers between them started to crumble…

…"It's okay. Just stay with me for right now. Please. Just…stay…"

…the camera snapping a picture as they lay on the bar floor…

…Cloud's hand pulling hers away from her scar while she stood naked in front of him. "Tifa. You're beautiful…"

…skin on skin…

Cloud pulled away from her with great effort, his hands moving off of her shoulders to brace them on the wall on either side of her. Now she could read his eyes perfectly, the mixture of want and confusion and ache and frustration.

She wanted to take it all away from him. Even for a moment. Wanted to take some of the load off of his shoulders, to take away some of the pain she had given him.

"Tifa…" It was half-pleading, half-warning, and she understood.

"It's okay," she murmured. She was shaking inwardly, but for once, not in anxiety or confusion. It was amazing the clarity and exhilaration that could come from stepping outside her own box, outside of herself and her issues and all the what-ifs. She met his eyes steadily and took one of his hands away from the wall, bringing it toward her and pressing it against her breast.

For you…

Because I can.

Because I want to.

She wasn't entirely sure how they ended up stumbling to their bedroom, and it didn't seem to matter how her clothes ended up strewn across the floor with his. She was overwhelmed by Cloud, by the way he knew every place to touch her to make her tremble, by his mixture of almost aggressive need and yet his restraint and tenderness--as though he was taking everything he could possibly get from her, but giving as much as he could to her at the same time.

When it was over, Cloud sank down against her, his head on her shoulder. Tifa held him tightly, her breathing just as shaky as the rest of her, one of her hands running through his hair. She wasn't sure she could describe how she felt at that moment. Free. Content. Complete even in her brokenness.

She didn't feel the need to try to find a way to say it aloud. She had just said more and had more said to her than she could even possibly begin to put to words.

Chapter Text

Cloud and Tifa had barely retired to their bedroom when a knock sounded on the door. Tifa, having just lay down in bed, sat back up, glancing at Cloud and waiting for him to finish changing into his pajama pants before she called, "Come in."

The door cracked open and Denzel peered inside. His eye, as Tifa had said, was blackened and swollen. He peered at Cloud and Tifa and said, "I, um…"

Tifa patted the bed, and after a moment's hesitation, Denzel crept across the room and sat on the end of the bed. He stared at his hands, and Tifa rested a hand on his shoulder. "It's past midnight, Denzel. What's wrong?"

Denzel's shoulders sagged and he met Tifa's gaze. "I'm sorry I caused you trouble."

Cloud quietly leaned against the wall, exchanging brief glances with Tifa before she said, "You didn't cause me any trouble, Denzel."

"Those parents…what they said to you in front of all of your customers--"

"That wasn't your fault," Tifa told him. "You certainly didn't drag them into the bar and tell them to yell at me."

"But I broke their kid's nose."

"Yes, you did. Defending someone from him. Denzel…" Tifa cupped his chin with her hand and tilted his face toward her. "If you had gone out and picked a fight, if you had broken some boy's nose because you were looking for a fight, then it would be completely different."

"Because there would be consequences and I'd be in trouble," Denzel said with the voice of one echoing a long-familiar lecture.

"But you didn't do that. You were protecting someone; you were using what Cloud and I taught you to keep someone safe. That is never something to apologize for, do you understand?"

Denzel nodded slowly, and Tifa let go of his chin. "I'm still sorry for what they said to you. It wasn't true." His face was set with defiant determination when he looked at her again. "I'm lucky to have you as a mom."

Cloud smiled slightly and gave Tifa a 'see?' sort of look. She grabbed Denzel and squeezed him hard, eliciting a muffled "ack!" from him. But he smiled and put his arms around her in return. "I'm so, so proud of you, Denzel. We both are," she said firmly.

Denzel looked over Tifa's shoulder at Cloud, who smiled and gave him a nod. Denzel slowly pulled away from Tifa. "Thanks," he whispered. He stood up, gave Cloud and Tifa one last look, and walked out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Twenty-Two - Scars, Cake, and Snowflakes

Cloud didn't want to move. He just wanted to lay there with his skin on Tifa's, her arms around him and her fingers weaving through his hair. He was bracing himself for Tifa to push him away, to decide she had made a mistake--he was already facing the fact that maybe this would make things worse between them, and he just couldn't bring himself to let go of her. He didn't know what had made her decide to do this--and he didn't know if he wanted to know. Couldn’t he just not think about why and let himself be satisfied with the act of it?

Yes, because it had been amazing and relieving, because there had been absolutely no walls between him and Tifa, and his tension and frustration had all been drained from him.

And no, because he didn't want this to make things awful between them. He knew that from here, from now, he couldn’t go backwards. Not again.

Still, though he waited, Tifa didn't push him away. Didn't move except to keep running her fingers through his hair. Her heavy breathing slowed and she stayed relaxed under him. Finally, Cloud shifted off of her and onto his side, keeping one arm around her. He met her eyes, not sure what he would see there--fearing what he would see. But all he saw in her gaze was peaceful contentment and relief. She lifted the hand from his hair and traced it gently down his cheek, offering him a small, sleepy smile. Then she shifted toward him and hooked her own arm back around him. He watched her eyes drift closed, and pretty soon she was asleep.

Cloud vaguely noted that the sound of the heaters was going, meaning the power had finally come back on, but it was still cold. Carefully, he pulled their blanket up over Tifa's bare shoulder, tucking his chin on top of her head.

I can't go back from here.

He held Tifa more snugly and she stirred against him.

Please don't let us go back from here.

:--:--:--:--:

Tifa woke up in the same position she had fallen asleep, tucked up against Cloud. She opened her eyes slowly, fully aware of every place her naked body touched his, and even more aware that she didn't feel strange or uncomfortable by the fact. Wrapped in his arms, watching his peacefully sleeping face, all she felt was warm and safe. She could still almost feel his hands on her body, his mouth on hers, and a little shiver ran down her spine.

Dim gray light was coming through the windows. She glanced over her shoulder at the clock and saw that it was only ten; she still had two hours before she had to open the bar. She heard sounds and voices of Marlene and Denzel from downstairs.

She continued to study Cloud in his sleep. His body was as scarred as hers. There was a deep scar in his middle, and when she looked at it, she realized that she knew where he had obtained it. The memory rose to mind as if in answer to an unspoken question. He had received it the same night she had gotten her own large scar--and it was from the same sword. Sephiroth had marked them both the night that Nibelheim burned. Softly, she pressed her fingers to it, knowing that if she looked at his back, she would see the mark there from where the sword had gone straight through him. It was one of many battle scars he bore. Cloud stirred briefly at her touch, but his eyes remained closed and she kept watching him.

Tifa had no regret at all about her decision to have sex with him. While it was a little strange to be lying with him like this, she was glad she was there. Whatever her emotions for Cloud--in love? not in love?--being with him so intimately had not only brought back other such moments in her memory, but it had forged a deeper connection with him. She wasn't even sure if she could properly explain it, but she knew that there was no turning back.

Her eyes trailed down Cloud's body again, and she knew it was more than that. She didn't want to go back. She wanted to keep going forward and find out where this road took her and Cloud.

Cloud shifted a little again, one eye blinking slowly open. The other one followed until he was looking at her. Emotions flickered quickly through his eyes--uncertainty, hope, fear, happiness. They were as jumbled as what she had seen in his eyes when he came home from his middle of the night ride on Fenrir, but there was a far different sort of intensity in his gaze. He was searching, wondering, waiting.

"Good morning," Tifa murmured.

Cloud's body relaxed ever so slightly and some of the worry faded from his eyes. "'Morning."

Tifa slowly sat up, dragging her knees up to her chest and running her fingers through her hair. Cloud sat with her, his eyes not leaving her face. She met his gaze unwaveringly and smiled.

That day went more easily than any other day so far. The change between her and Cloud was obvious, at least to her. Their other problems certainly weren't gone--they still didn't have answers to their questions about monsters, didn't know where the missing people were, but it made it easier to bear the questions and uncertainty when they could lean on each other.

Yuffie kept them updated on what was going on at the WRO lab. The researchers, she said, along with Professor Dorne from Mideel, were studying the monster bodies and had been able to determine that they had once been normal monsters that had been wildly altered. "Prof Dorne says it looks like the Jenova cells might've been mutated, and that it probably mutated the monsters. It made them bigger, stronger--and for the ones we ran into in Junon, it made their poison more potent. The question is whether someone did it on purpose or whether we're dealing with some weird natural mutations, though my vote's on experimentation. But they still have questions. Is there a danger to the rest of the monster population? To humans?" Yuffie threw her hands up. "Who knows? Hopefully they'll figure it out so I can sleep. They say it'd be easier if they had a live body to study, but obviously I can't help 'em there. I was doing good to bring 'em dead bodies!"

Yuffie sighed and shrugged. "It's just waiting now. We're still looking for clues to all the missing people, but ever since the disappearances in Edge, we haven't had reports from anywhere else about people disappearing. So far we've got nothing. The one person who saw some man with the old guy in Kalm can't even describe him except to tell us he had brown hair. Well, great, thanks, that only eliminates about a third of the population. Who doesn't have brown hair? Well, except for you, Cloud. And Cid. And Tifa, I guess your hair's black. And Vincent--okay, whatever. You know what I mean. Anyway, I'll keep you updated and tell you if you can do anything and all that fun stuff."

That week, Tifa went back to the hospital for her scheduled check-up with Dr. Anglo. She brought her memory journal with her. He didn't ask to read it--not that she would have let him anyway--but he was thrilled at how full the journal was. "You seem to be making fantastic progress," he told her. "And the scans of your brain show no further problems. You've healed quite nicely, Mrs. Strife. Let's set you to come back in four weeks just to see how your memories are progressing, all right?"

The days crept by with no further hints on monsters or missing people, and the waiting was in some ways far worse than any action. At least if they'd had any leads, any hints, anything to follow, they might have been able to do something to help. The only thing they were able to do was help the WRO distribute flyers with names, photos, and descriptions of those missing, even the little girl from distant Nibelheim. Tifa posted one in the bar and one outside it, so even if they hadn't been constantly on her mind, she would have been reminded of what was wrong every time she saw the smiling faces on paper. Izzi's was the only one she actually recognized, and it was painful to look at his crooked grin. She might not have known Izzi as well as she was supposed to, but she didn't have to know him to realize that this should not have been happening. He should have been home, should have been with friends, should have been where people could help him learn to readjust to his life.

Tifa's memories continued creeping in, sometimes by themselves or sometimes in chains. There was nothing that scared or upset her--everything she remembered might have seemed simple to anyone else, but to her, each was another piece of the puzzle, and nothing was insignificant. She recalled simple moments--a picnic with Cloud and the kids, which led to remembering other moments with her family. Some were happier--lying in a field under the stars and pointing out constellations to the kids, sitting on a beach while Denzel and Marlene buried Cloud in the sand. There was actually a photograph of that in her bedroom, and she could now smile in recognition whenever she saw it.

She remembered the first time she met Denzel, when Cloud carried him into the bar, filthy and ragged and sick, remembered staying up at nights with him when he was in pain, and also remembered the moment in the church when he was healed from his Geostigma. She remembered carrying Marlene around on her hip when she was little more than a baby, remembered sleeping with the warmth of Marlene's tiny body curled up beside her, remembered teaching her to mix her first drink. She remembered other moments in the kids' lives, accomplishments with homework assignments, teaching them self-defense, reading books to them.

And Cloud…she had a few more memories of him, too. Again, like her memories of the kids, they seemed to be "small" moments--Cloud coming home from deliveries and sitting down to talk to her, Cloud working on his bike while she teased him about tinkering with it, Cloud beside her as they traveled around the world. She wasn't sure where or when it had been, but she had an idea that it may have been during Meteor.

She and Cloud kept having sex. It wasn't something they talked about at first, but after the fourth time, when she was holding him, her ear pressed to his chest and drowsily listening to his heart beating, he finally asked her.

"Tifa."

"Mm?"

"Why--" he sounded reluctant. "Why are you--doing this?"

Tifa lifted her head and looked at him. He was watching her carefully, almost warily. She was quiet for a moment; it had been something she had thought about but hadn't needed to say until now. When she was with him, she was connected to him. That connection didn't go away afterward; it only got deeper. It taught her more about him, about them. And...she liked it. Maybe that night when he came home on Fenrir, it had been for a lot of uncertain reasons--maybe both of them had just been tense and frustrated and needed the release. Maybe they still did, but it was far more than that.

She bit her lip, not sure how to express it with words. How to tell him that every time he touched her, kissed her, every time he was inside her, it was just right and it was like finding another part of herself. Part of him. Part of them. Her life might still be a mess, her kids might still be hurting, her memories might still be tattered and fragmented, but when she was with Cloud all of that seemed a little less. She was much more content now that she had just accepted that this was what she had chosen, now that she had reconciled her past choices with her decision to have it again.

"It brings me closer to you," she finally said. And it came down, very simply, to one thing. "I want to be with you."

:--:--:--:--:

Yuffie came into the bar one day accompanied by and arguing with a man with wild red hair. Tifa had no idea what the argument was about, except that Yuffie ended it as soon as they walked in the bar by giving him the finger.

"Gawd! Tifa, can't you just tell Reno he's not allowed in here and make him go away?" Yuffie asked, throwing herself down at the counter.

"We all know that Tifa always welcomes me with open arms," the man said lazily, sprawling on one of the barstools near Yuffie. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?" He winked at Tifa, who raised her eyebrows at him.

Cloud came from the garage carrying a box of unopened napkins and his eyes narrowed a little when he saw Reno sitting there, but he didn't say anything to him and only gave Tifa a muttered, "Keep an eye on that one."

Ten seconds in and Tifa decided Reno might be annoying, but he probably wasn't a threat. He was a fighter--she could tell by the way he moved--but at that point she thought the greatest potential for danger in the room was that Yuffie would make good on her threat to bash Reno over the head with her shuriken if he so much as breathed her way. It wasn't until Reno had finally gone that Yuffie let out a hasty, "Thank Leviathan! That man drives me crazy."

Tifa looked at her curiously. "Who is he?"

"Trouble," Yuffie said instantly. "Turks are always trouble. Especially that one." She shook her head. "There's so much trouble with Reno that I don't even know where to start!"

"Then why were you with him?" Tifa asked.

"I'm not with him," Yuffie said with a shudder. "Reeve was making me talk to him. Rufus Shinra's trying to help the WRO--we're figuring out what to do about a new school. Shinra's gonna help fund it if we wanna rebuild or if we just wanna pick another building. Either way, I was suspicious. Who's to say Rufus didn't have something to do with the school's attack in the first place? Okay, okay, it might not be likely, but I'm not putting anything past Shinra!"

"Was that what the argument was about?" Tifa glanced over at Cloud, who was bending over a picture that Marlene was drawing and pointing at something on it.

"No, that was just Reno being an idiot. Anyway, we're trying to get the school stuff sorted out. It's been weeks since the school attack and we're just trying to find out from parents and kids what they think would be the best way to approach the situation. I know it's not gonna be easy for the kids to start school again, so if that's not the best way to go at it…Tifa? What do you think? Tifa?" Yuffie looked at Tifa, then followed her line of sight to Cloud, then turned her eyes back to Tifa once more. "Ha!" She beamed. "You and Cloud are having cake again!"

Tifa blinked and quickly turned her attention fully on Yuffie. "What?"

"Cake." Yuffie leaned forward and her voice dropped. "Sex."

Tifa felt her cheeks warming and Yuffie laughed. "You so totally are! Good for you! Whew! You and Cloud had me worried for a while there. Anyway--school, Tifa?"

"I'll have to talk it over with the kids and get their thoughts on it," Tifa said. "I know some of the parents have discussed taking turns teaching the kids, or teaching them in groups."

Yuffie stretched her arms out in front of her. "Yeah, I've heard that from some of them, too."

"How are things going at the lab?" Tifa asked.

"Badly. Okay, okay, I shouldn't say badly. Just slowly. Very, very, very, very, very--"

"--slowly?" Tifa interjected.

"Exactly! In a lot of scientific jabber, it all comes down to one thing: they don't know. Even Dorkus is stumped. As far as they can tell, it looks like that phone call you guys got about experiments is probably right on the mark. Someone's screwing around with Jenova cells and now we're dealing with the aftermath of it. Ooh, just wait till I get my hands on them!" Yuffie waved her fist in the air. "Anyway, the prof's headed back to Mideel but he's bringing some monster bits with him to keep studying. Unless someone makes some huge breakthrough, we're right where we started. Which means we don't know anything." She scowled. "Well, we don't know anything else."

It wasn't until that night when Cloud and Tifa were cleaning the bar that Tifa said, "Um, Cloud--Yuffie mentioned something earlier and I don't remember what…" Sighing, she gave up on trying to ask it subtly. "Why does Yuffie call sex 'cake?'"

Cloud looked startled for a moment, and then he sighed and shook his head. "Yuffie was always comparing our sex life to food. The cake…at our wedding…" He trailed off and then said, "Actually, we have a video."

"Of our wedding?"

Cloud nodded. "If you want to watch it."

"I'd…like that." Not so long ago she might not have felt ready for that--seeing all the photographs had been difficult enough--but she had been taking huge steps forward.

The only television they owned was in the guest room. It didn't get much use; it was mostly there, Cloud explained, in case they wanted to watch the news or the occasional movie. He set up their wedding video and stood at the door until she extended a hand to him, silently inviting him to join her. Then he sat on the bed with her while the video started.

It was a strange thing to watch her own wedding. She had remembered the wedding vows, but to see it in context of the entire ceremony was different. The video itself didn't spark any memories, but it still twisted her heart deeply. To see her friends, to see her and Cloud in their blissful happiness. It brought tears to her eyes when she watched the expression on Cloud's face as she walked across the lawn toward him, and the tears fell down her cheeks when she listened to their wedding vows. Her tears turned to laughter when she heard Cid and Yuffie bantering over getting Cloud and Tifa to cut the cake.

Cid gruffly calling, "Hey! Will you two get your asses over here so we can cut the damn cake? You can take it to a room later…"

Yuffie, as bouncy as ever, asking Cloud and Tifa, "…the cake-cutting or the sex?"

Tifa grinned when she watched herself and Cloud say, "The cake," with their faces both tinted pink.

Then she knew. It was another vague memory, where she couldn’t actually recall images or a specific instance, but the knowledge of the event was there. She knew that Yuffie had teased them after that, asking if they'd had their cake, if they'd been enjoying their cake…

She looked over at Cloud on the bed and smiled.

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With each day that passed, Tifa's life felt a little more like a life, and not just a struggle to get through each day. She suspected it was the same for Cloud and the kids. People talked less and speculated less about the mysteries in Edge, and though it didn't take away the frustration over not knowing what had happened, especially to Izzi, at least they didn't have to hear whispers and rumors about it so much.

After a full month had passed since Tifa was released from the hospital, Cloud started doing deliveries again, though Reeve's people were still helping. Their lives became even more routine. Cloud always left in the morning and returned by dinnertime. Tifa walked Denzel over to the children's home where Aria lived before they opened the bar, and Cloud took her back when he got home.

The waiting and wondering was still painful and difficult. Tifa knew that Marlene and Denzel would have issues for a long time to come--the fear and anxiety and trauma didn't just disappear. Healing took time. Marlene, however, remained open and easy to talk to, and Denzel had become much easier to approach about everything since his own breakdown--and it was easier for him to come to Cloud or Tifa when he was having trouble. Tifa woke up more than once during various nights and went downstairs to find Denzel awake from nightmares or restlessness. Sometimes he would be whacking the punching bag in the garage, though it was never out of control like the morning he had snapped. He had more of a determined drive now; something in him had readjusted and he was fighting more than struggling.

The nights that Tifa found him with the punching bag, she offered to work with him on martial arts moves. It was good for both of them; for Tifa, she was able to work with and help Denzel in some way, and for Denzel, it gave him the chance to learn more from her and to practice martial arts even with a broken arm. Other nights, he would just be sitting in the dark, often with a glass of water clutched in his hand. The first time she found him curled up in a chair in the living room, she sat on the couch and asked if he wanted to talk.

Denzel looked over at her, and then abruptly stood up. She thought he was going to leave the room, but he walked over to the couch, sat down beside her, and sank against her. She held him for a long time, and he finally whispered, "Do you think we'll ever find Izzi and the others?"

"I don't know, Denzel," she whispered back, "but we won't ever give up looking for answers."

Denzel nodded slowly and rested his head on her shoulder.

Overall, despite the unknown situation and the mysteries still surrounding them, their lives got a little easier each day. In part, Tifa believed, because it felt like they were working together as a family instead of fighting by themselves.

"Cloud," Tifa asked him as he was getting ready to head out one morning, a week after he had started doing deliveries, "do you think we could plan a time to go to Nibelheim soon?" She still remembered nothing from her childhood, except her mother's lullaby and a few vague memories of a snowy village.

Cloud looked at her and nodded. "We could go on our next day off, if you want to do that."

He seemed calm, but his eyes told her he was a little anxious about the idea. She was a little nervous herself. Cloud had told her that they hadn't been to Nibelheim in four years because it had just been too different and brought back too many painful memories. Painful or not, memories were exactly what Tifa needed. "Okay." They had just had a day off, so that would give them almost a week to get ready. And she had doctor appointments to get to that week--one for her second check-up with the doctor, as it had been a month since her last one, and one to take Denzel to so he could get his cast off. Denzel was getting antsy for that, because Cloud had told him that once the cast was gone, he could start going on deliveries with him again. There was also a meeting that the WRO was hosting for parents and guardians in Edge to get together and make a decision on what to do about a new school.

That night when Cloud was in the shower and Tifa was getting changed into her pajamas, she happened to glance out the bedroom window and realized it was snowing heavily. Once she had pulled on her pajama pants and tank top, she walked over to the window and stared out, entranced. She had seen the occasional snowflake or two the past weeks, but it nothing like this. The snow was falling in swirls, already coating the street in white.

She was still standing there when Cloud came into the room, but she didn't turn even when she heard his footsteps approaching her. He stopped just behind her, and she leaned back into him. He wrapped his arms around her, his damp hair tickling her temple, and she smiled. They were getting better at these moments--these small, comfortable moments which had been perfectly normal before her amnesia, and which were now becoming perfectly normal again. The small voice in her mind that always wondered how many other times like this they had shared had come to be more of a passing curiosity than a frustration. She had been learning that what mattered now was that she was making new memories, new moments like this. And sometimes the old memories rose to the surface; sometimes they stayed buried. Sometimes she still got frustrated when she couldn't remember something, but more often than not, she was encouraged by the fact that there was always a chance she would remember later.

She had come to understand that the past was important--her life, her history, her memories were all important. They taught her, helped her understand more about herself and her family. But now--now was what mattered most.

Tifa held Cloud's arms around her, and when he pressed a kiss to her hair, she turned her head to look at him. He met her eyes and smiled, the smile that never failed to make her insides twist, the smile that made his eyes light up. Those eyes that always told her so much even when he wasn't saying anything.

His smile slipped and his expression grew startled when several tears slipped down her face. He turned her in his arms so she was facing him, his knuckles brushing the tears off of her cheeks. "Tifa?"

She didn't know when it had happened or how--maybe it really had just been there all along and she hadn't recognized it. Or maybe this was a defining moment. Whatever the case, it didn't matter. She didn't have to question it. She caught his hand and pressed it against her cheek. "I love you."

He stared at her as if not sure he had heard her right. Then he pulled her close, holding her tightly. They stood there for a minute, and then Cloud drew back. "Come on." He took her hand and tugged her out of the bedroom.

Tifa went with him down the stairs, through the bar, and to the front door. When he unlocked it and tugged it open, stepping outside in his bare feet, she stopped on the threshold. "Cloud…our shoes."

He looked over his shoulder at her and if ever she had seen a mischievous expression in his eyes, it was at that moment. "What about them?"

"It's snowing."

"And?" Yes, he was definitely teasing her, and she didn't know why. Then his expression grew serious. "I want to share a memory with you. Your memory." He gently tugged on her hand, and this time, she stepped over the threshold. Her bare feet tread on the cold ground, down the stairs and onto the street, where the powdery snow covered her toes and made her cringe at the iciness.

"When you were little," Cloud began, "you always ran outside barefoot when it first snowed. I could hear your father calling for you from next door to get inside and put some shoes on before your toes fell off." He shook his head and a smile quirked one corner of his mouth. "It didn't matter. Every year, you went outside barefoot in the snow at least once. More when you got older."

Tifa tilted her head up and stared at the falling flakes. They stuck to her clothes and her hair, melting on her skin. Closing her eyes, she wiggled her bare toes in the freezing snow. When she opened her eyes, Cloud was watching her, still with a faint smile. There was no expectation on his face, and she knew that he hadn't brought her outside in hopes that she would remember something. He had simply wanted to tell her something about herself. It only went to show her how far they had both come these past weeks in accepting and working with their situation. There was still more to learn, more to know, still more that was missing, but they were going to be okay. She and Cloud were going to be okay. They were going to hold each other together, hold their family together. Maybe they had taken turns throughout their lives in holding the other person up, but she was realizing that it worked best when they anchored each other in place.

Tifa released his hand and put both arms around his neck, holding him close. "Thank you," she whispered to him.

He buried his face in her shoulder and kissed the crook of her neck. "I love you."

She shut her eyes again and sighed in contentment. She could have stayed like that for longer, but her attention was diverted by a sudden shout of, "Hey! What do you young folks think you're doing?"

Tifa and Cloud turned to see an older woman walking down the street, bundled up in a heavy coat with a bag on one arm. "What are you doing out in this weather without shoes?" the woman asked incredulously. "While we're at it, where are your jackets? Honestly, young people these days! You should march right inside before your toes fall off!"

They stared at her as she walked away, muttering under her breath, and then simultaneously they both burst out laughing. Cloud murmured to Tifa, "I guess some things you just can't escape no matter how old you get, huh?"

Tifa's only response was to laugh again.

Chapter Text

There was a park in Edge. It was nothing more than a slab of concrete, some squeaky swings, a merry-go-round, and an old slide. Like everywhere else in the city, there was no vegetation, but sometimes on the way to or from the market, Cloud would stop there with Marlene, or if Denzel was there too, then with both of them. On this particular market day, Cloud had both kids with him. Marlene was happy to stop at the park and jump on one of the swings. She pumped her legs and was quickly soaring back and forth.

Cloud sat down on a bench and Denzel, solemn and quiet, sat beside him. It was the first time that Denzel hadn't taken the opportunity to get on a swing and challenge Marlene to see who could go the highest. Given the events of the past week, though, Cloud wasn't really surprised. This week Denzel had tried to push himself into adulthood by attempting to join the WRO. It had led to a lot of intense discussions between Cloud, Tifa, and Denzel. It had led to Cloud deciding to take Denzel on weekend deliveries and working with him on swordplay.

He was growing up too fast. He had already grown up to fast, but somehow, even in the midst of surviving on the streets and surviving so much, he was still a child. A child who was trying hard to be grown-up. Cloud didn't want him to have to grow up so fast. Denzel had few vestiges of childhood left; they were something precious that he would never get back once they were gone.

Cloud was working on finding a balance of allowing Denzel more responsibilities and showing him it was still okay to be a kid. The problem was, Cloud hadn't ever been much of a kid himself. How was he supposed to teach someone else it was okay? Especially when that someone was trying so hard to be more like him?

Cloud looked down at Denzel and then nudged him with his shoulder. "Come on." He stood to his feet and walked over to the swing set. He sat in one of the hard seats and slowly swung, not wanting to go too high for fear that the swing would snap under his weight.

Denzel was on his feet, but looking at him as if unsure as to what he was doing. Cloud reached out to the swing beside him and shook it. "Everybody needs to swing now and then," he said.

Denzel continued to stare at him, and Marlene shouted, "Come on, Denzel! Five gil says you can't go higher than me!"

As grown-up as Denzel might have been trying to be, he wasn't about to back down from a challenge. After looking at Cloud, who was carefully swinging a little higher and thinking that maybe he should have tried this more often as a kid, Denzel came over and took the swing next to Cloud. He still looked reluctant, but as he pushed off and began to pump his legs, Cloud saw the smile that started to spread across his face, until he was pushing himself as hard as he could to go higher than Marlene.

Cloud skidded his swing to a stop and just sat there, watching the kids, his lips tugging into a smile of his own. Moments like these made parenting all the more rewarding, and more and more often, it made him think that maybe he could be ready to do this with more kids. That maybe he could be ready to have a child with Tifa and do this from the beginning. Raise a child from infancy...

Maybe.

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Chapter Twenty-Three - When the Bough Breaks

They took an airship to Nibelheim, courtesy of the WRO. Cid wasn't piloting, but he had arranged for someone to take them. "Shera says you can drop the kids off here if ya need someone to watch 'em," Cid had told Cloud gruffly on the phone.

"Thanks, but we told them they could come with us. We'll stop in Rocket Town afterward and visit," Cloud had replied. He and Tifa had discussed whether or not to bring the kids with them, but both had asked to go. Though many bad things had happened there, it was part of Cloud and Tifa's pasts, and the kids wanted to see it.

"I'll tell Shera. She's been wantin' to come visit Tifa, but--eh, just come on over after you're done in Nibelheim."

The kids always enjoyed airship rides, and this time they were out on the deck, staring down at the world despite the freezing air. Denzel kept slowly bending and unbending his arm, newly out of the cast. His elbow had been bent in the same position for so long that he couldn't get his arm straight; the doctor had told Denzel he would need to work on it so he could slowly straighten out all the way again. Denzel's physical therapy was a lot easier than Aria's. She'd had both of her casts removed, too, but she couldn't walk on her legs yet. Her guardian was keeping her at the children's home for a while to work with her on strengthening her legs once more.

Cloud and Tifa sat outside on the deck with the kids as the airship neared Mt. Nibel. It wasn't long before they landed outside of Nibelheim. The pilot came out to let them know they'd be waiting. Cloud and Tifa took the kids and left the airship, facing Nibelheim's gates.

Cloud's stomach clenched as a hundred painful memories battled for dominance in his mind. It was cold here, colder than Edge, but it had an entirely different smell. The smell of mountain air, a scent that tantalized his senses and dredged up memory after memory. Marlene, bundled up in a thick jacket and boots, stopped beside Cloud and looked up at him. A small frown crossed her face and she slipped her gloved hand into his, giving it a little squeeze before running ahead to stand with Denzel.

Cloud's boots crunched through the snow and he stopped beside Tifa, who was staring ahead at the village. He could see the same apprehension that he was feeling all over her face. She looked at him, dark pain in her eyes. "This isn't…really Nibelheim," she whispered. "Not our Nibelheim."

"No," he said quietly. It was nothing more than a replica, a mockery. The shops and houses were the same--the Shinra had gone to great lengths to make everything exactly as it had been, right down to the piano in what was supposed to be Tifa's old room. A room now filled with a stranger. Everyone was a stranger.

Even just standing outside the town was difficult. All he could see were images of the town on fire, people he had grown up with dead, his mother gone, Tifa stabbed, the mansion…the mansion where he had been nothing more than a specimen…

Gloved fingers entwined with his own and he looked over at Tifa, who was watching him with a mixture of concern and shared agony. She still only remembered mostly bad things about this place. The only good memory she had was their promise on the well. He, at least, could try to think back and look for the good things…his mother baking sweet cakes, listening to Tifa play the piano, his mother's fingers in his hair as she soothed him after a nightmare...

Marlene and Denzel were standing silently, watching them, waiting. The kids had heard stories of what had happened here and they obviously realized the importance of the moment. Instead of exclaiming over things as they usually did in new places, they were somber and quiet.

Tifa's hand tightened on his and he knew she was having the same dilemma he was: now that they were here, could they walk forward into the town? How could they not? It might help Tifa remember some of her childhood. Ironic, he thought, that the last time they had come here they had both agreed that they shouldn't have come because it dragged them back to the past. There had been no nostalgia then, and there wasn't any now. Just a desire to turn around and get right back on the airship.

Then Tifa let out a long breath and took a step forward, and he went with her, fingers still tight on hers. Marlene and Denzel fell into step beside them as they entered the town. There was one little boy playing outside, but he ran inside as soon as he saw them.

Though the town was neat and as quaint-looking as it had been when he was growing up, Cloud's mind saw only the flames from long ago, reaching and grasping and burning his childhood to cinders. The screams, the confusion…

"The well," Tifa murmured, breaking the train of Cloud's ugly, agonizing thoughts. She had turned to face him, and in her eyes he could see a reflection of his own pain. But she reached up with the hand not grasping his and touched his cheek, drawing him back from the past, maybe drawing her back, too. "The well, Cloud." She turned back and they slowly walked over to the well. They stood in front of it and Tifa looked up, a slow smile crossing her face. She closed her eyes and whispered, "Some good memories."

Opening her eyes, she slowly looked around until she was staring at the rebuilt house that had exactly copied hers. "I lived there…or…before…"

He understood what she meant.

"And you lived there." She motioned to the house next door. "And…" She let go of Cloud's hand and turned in a slow circle, taking it in, and Cloud saw her distant gaze, recognized the expression. She was seeing into the past…maybe seeing before the pain and disaster. "Other kids…they always wanted to hang out with me…"

Cloud couldn't suppress the grimace on his face. The other kids. Right. The ones that picked on him, that he later picked fights with…

Tifa stopped and faced Mt. Nibel. "They left me, though…when…my mother died." Her hands clenched into fists and he heard the fresh pain of remembering when she said, "My mother…"

Denzel was the first one who reached Tifa's side. He looked up at her, and then abruptly put his arms around her. "My mother died, too," Cloud heard him mumble. After a heavy pause, he added, "But then I found you."

Tifa held him tightly and kissed the top of his head as Cloud and Marlene reached them. Cloud put a hand on Tifa's shoulder and Marlene took her hand. Sniffling once, Tifa straightened and her eyes met Cloud's. "You didn't leave me," she said. "You followed me into the mountains…you got hurt."

"You got hurt," he corrected.

"No." Tifa shook her head slightly. "I mean, yes, I…I was in a coma, wasn't I? But you blamed yourself." She searched his face. "You always blamed yourself. It's why you went away."

She looked around again. "I remember. So much. My parents…your mom, Cloud…she used to give me sweet cakes…and the piano. I played the piano. And then the well…and you were gone. I started learning the mountain paths. I started learning how to fight…Zangan. Zangan was my teacher." She blinked several times, and her eyes were no longer distant.

The front door on one of the shops opened and a woman stepped outside. "Something I can help you folks with?" she called.

Tifa looked down at Denzel and Marlene, and then over at Cloud. "No. We were just leaving," she called back. More quietly, she said, "I'm done here."

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Denzel and Marlene played outside in Cid and Shera's backyard. There was grass and a few trees, and Marlene was hanging upside-down from a tree branch while Denzel sat higher up. Tifa peered out the window at them; they looked so carefree. If only for a little while, she was glad they were away from Edge, somewhere open and friendly. Cid and Cloud were out in the garage "talking shop," leaving Shera and Tifa inside.

After smiling out the window at the kids, Tifa joined Shera in the kitchen, where she was making tea. Tifa tried to help, but Shera pointed at a chair and said, "I'll do it. Make yourself at home."

Though she had spoken to Shera on the phone several times in the past weeks, Tifa still really didn't remember much about her, but she was completely at ease with her. "Thank you."

"I heard there was a meeting in Edge this week? About the children's schooling?"

"Yes." Tifa's brow creased as she watched Shera walking around the kitchen, setting water to boil and putting out cans of tea. There was something about the way she moved… "It was finally decided to use a building already owned by the WRO and convert it into a school. It's a one story building, still close to the bar, but a little farther away than before."

"Do you know when it will be open again?"

"They're aiming to reopen it next month." As Shera set a bowl of sugar on the table, Tifa asked, "How far along are you?"

Shera froze with her fingers on the sugar bowl, her eyes widening as she looked at Tifa, who realized she really shouldn't have asked that question. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean--"

"It's all right," Shera interrupted. She sat at the table across from Tifa. "How did you know?"

"The way you were walking."

Shera nodded slowly. "You've studied body language for years. I shouldn't be surprised." She sighed and fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth. "We were going to tell everyone soon, once we were sure…" Her sudden sadness was palpable, and there was a fear in her eyes. She glanced at Tifa. "You don't remember any of it, do you?"

"I don't think so." Tifa had some suspicions as to why Shera was reacting this way, and if she was right, then she would feel even worse for bringing it up. "I'm sorry."

Shera reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Tifa's. "Don't be." She withdrew her hand and looked off to the side. "I'm just over two months along. So far I'm doing fine. Last time…" She took a deep breath. "Last time I lost the baby before I was even two months."

It was just as Tifa had suspected.

"Three months ago, Professor Dorne informed us that they had an immunoglobulin prepared that should suppress my antibodies to Jenova cells. I went to see one of the doctors working on the project and got an injection. I have to get a shot every three months…I just didn't expect to conceive so quickly."

"Injections?" Tifa was trying to figure out what Shera had just said--it made no sense to her, especially the Jenova cells bit. "Isn't Dorne the professor who's been helping study the monster bodies in Edge?"

"Yes, but…hmm." Shera considered Tifa as though trying to figure out exactly what to say, and Tifa had a feeling that this somehow had importance to her own life. "He specializes in Jenova cells and the Lifestream, but over the past year he and some other researchers and doctors have been working to establish a way to help pregnant women previously infected with Geostigma carry a child."

As soon as she said that, broken images began to rise up in Tifa's mind, and then fit themselves together into a picture that started to make sense. "Cloud and I went to see Professor Dorne," Tifa recalled. Images of the facility, the professor, were flooding her mind. He said we could probably have at least one child successfully…we went because of Cloud's Jenova cells…we went after Shera's miscarriage… She met Shera's eyes and was suddenly hit with much stronger memories, sharp and bright and painful. Being in the hospital, waiting and fearing… visiting Shera, weak and pale and shattered, in a hospital room and holding her while she sobbed--

The teapot's whistle brought both Tifa and Shera's attention to the stove. Shera stood up and went to get the hot water, and Tifa blinked away the tears in her eyes.

"I'm still…very nervous," Shera admitted softly as she poured the water into two cups. "This treatment hasn't really been tested." She didn't say it, but the words hung unspoken in the air. What if it didn't work? "Still," she continued as she sat back down at the table and handed Tifa a steaming cup of tea. "I suppose we could have waited, but the doctors needed people who were willing to be the forerunners of this particular endeavor."

It was Tifa's turn to reach across the table and grasp Shera's hand. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you."

Shera smiled. "I will. Thank you, Tifa. I wanted to visit you this month, but I've been too busy getting acquainted with the toilet. I don't get airsick, but the thought of flying was enough to make me ill. Well, more ill than I've already been."

Tifa returned the smile. "That's understandable." She pulled her hands back and wrapped them around her hot mug of tea. This trip was turning out far more memories than she had expected. Even the painful memories helped her learn, helped her grow, made relationships deeper.

Tifa was quiet and contemplative on the trip back to Edge. Inside the airship, she leaned against Cloud, allowing herself to sift through all of the various memories that she had regained that day. It took her a minute to realize that Cloud was studying her. When she met his eyes questioningly, he said, "Are you okay?"

"I'm…fine," she said slowly. She nodded. "Fine," she said more firmly. She fell silent again. After a moment, she asked, "Cloud? When did we go to see Professor Dorne?"

Cloud's eyes widened slightly and then he sighed. "About six months ago." He paused. "Did you remember that or did Shera say something?"

"She was talking about Dorne and his research on pregnancy, and…then I remembered." She glanced at her hands, then back up at Cloud. "Shera's pregnant."

Cloud blinked. "Cid didn't say anything."

"Neither did Shera at first. I figured it out, and she said they haven't told anyone yet. She's being treated by a doctor who worked with Dorne."

Cloud nodded slowly.

It was several minutes before Tifa, hesitant, asked, "Cloud? Did we ever…decide to have…more kids?"

A muscle in Cloud's jaw twitched and he averted his gaze, so Tifa couldn't tell if he was uncomfortable or upset. He was a long time in answering. Finally, he said, "You wanted to. I was…not ready." His eyes flickered to hers, then away again. "Just before you got amnesia, I was at the point where I thought I might be ready. I was trying to figure out how to approach it." He shook his head in frustration. "I was still--"

"Mulling?"

"Yeah."

"You're pretty good at that." Tifa leaned her head on his shoulder.

There was a hint of wry amusement in his voice when he said, "Yeah."

Cloud slowly relaxed when Tifa didn't ask anymore on the subject, as if he had been afraid that Tifa might ask him then and there if they could have a baby. She wasn't sure she was ready for that at this moment. Her life had only just started stabilizing. But maybe…maybe someday…

Before too long, the airship landed on the outskirts of Edge, and they got off and headed for Seventh Heaven. The kids were obviously tired; Marlene raised her arms to Cloud, silently asking for a ride, and he crouched down so she could clamber onto his back.

Once they were home and the kids were tucked into bed, Tifa began preparations for opening the bar the next day, taking some meat out of the freezer and putting it in the fridge to thaw, chopping up vegetables, and replenishing the alcohol. Cloud sat at the bar counter and went over his delivery slips, mapping out his route for the next day.

They had been at it for maybe half an hour when a sudden, hurried knocking came from the front door. Tifa and Cloud both paused and looked at the door. Cloud, who was closer to it, stood and walked over, peering out through the window. The knocking sounded again, more frantic this time, and a woman's muffled voice called, "Hello? Hello! Is anyone home?" The pounding on the door increased, and the desperation was clear when she cried, "Please!"

Cloud swiftly unlocked the door and opened it, and Tifa slipped around the counter to see a small, cloaked woman standing outside, arms wrapped around herself as she shivered. Under the cloak's hood, Tifa could see a pale complexion and green eyes that were huge and dark with shadows. The woman looked ready to cry in relief when she saw them.

"Who are you?" Cloud asked.

"I'm--" The woman swayed, catching herself on the doorframe with one hand, the other going to her stomach. It was then that Tifa saw the curve of her body under the cloak and realized she was pregnant. "I'm Elia Garrens," she managed. "I'm Professor Jerrit Dorne's granddaughter."

"Dorne's--?" Cloud quickly took one of Elia's arms, ushering her inside, over to the nearest booth, where the woman promptly collapsed into the seat and placed trembling arms on the table.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered.

Tifa ran to get a glass of water and set it down in front of Elia before sitting across from her in the booth. Cloud remained standing next to the table, his arms crossed but his eyes concerned. "Are you okay?" Cloud asked. The more Tifa saw the woman's face, the more she realized that she looked sick. Elia's cheeks were sunken, there were dark smudges under her eyes, and she had a rash of some sort on her neck.

"Better than I was." She dragged in a deep breath and tugged the hood off of her head, revealing brown hair that fell to her shoulders. She was young; Tifa would have placed her at maybe twenty-six at the oldest. "Listen," she said quickly, "I don't think I have a lot of time." Her eyes were darting nervously to the front door. "I think they've been tracking me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry if I bring them here, but I didn't know where else to go. I didn't know who else could help."

"Who's after you?" Cloud asked her.

Elia dug a piece of paper out of her pocket and dropped it on the table. Tifa recognized it instantly as the flyer with the photos of everyone who had gone missing in Nibelheim, Kalm, and Edge. Pointing at it, she said, "The same group who took all of those people."

Tifa's breath caught in her throat and Cloud's eyes widened. He leaned forward intently. "Do you know where they are? These people?" He jabbed his finger at the flyer.

"I don't...I don't know. Maybe."

Chapter Text

The weather in Costa del Sol was as beautifully warm as always, a contrast to the weather that had been growing steadily chillier in Edge, and it was the perfect time for a vacation. It was the first holiday that Cloud and Tifa had taken since their honeymoon nine months earlier. Since the kids had the week off from school, Cloud and Tifa had thought that it would be good to get them away from the city for a little while.

"Can we get ice cream?" Marlene asked, skipping along the sand in her bathing suit and sandals.

Denzel looked hopefully at Cloud and Tifa, and Tifa grinned. "Ice cream does sound pretty tasty," she said.

Once they had bought four ice creams from a vendor on the beach, they sat down at the on the sand to eat them. Cloud smiled in amusement as Denzel and Marlene scarfed their ice cream down and then raced into the water, yelling and splashing each other as soon as they hit the surf.

Tifa stretched her legs out on the sand and wiggled her toes. "I'm glad we came. The kids needed it. I think we needed it." She tugged absently on the neckline of the tank top that covered her bathing suit. Cloud knew that she probably wouldn't take it off; she didn't like to have her scar uncovered. She had told Cloud she wasn't ashamed of it anymore, but she didn't like people staring at it. "They look happy." She smiled at Marlene and Denzel throwing water at each other and then looked at Cloud. "Denzel's seemed happier lately, don't you think? He was so tense for the first little while after he tried to join the WRO."

Cloud nodded slowly as he watched the kids. "Maybe he's realizing it's okay to still be a kid sometimes."

"I hope so. He should have that chance. He only gets one childhood," Tifa said wistfully.

Marlene came running out of the ocean toward Cloud and Tifa, laughing and shrieking, with Denzel on her heels. "Help! He has a big slimy ocean thing!" she cried, flinging herself into Tifa's lap and dripping water all over her.

Tifa burst out laughing as Denzel held his 'big slimy ocean thing' aloft. "Marlene, it's just seaweed."

Marlene peered suspiciously over at Denzel, squirming as he dangled the seaweed in front of her face. He was grinning in a way only a boy teasing a girl could. "Denzel!" she protested indignantly. "You said you had a sea slug!"

Denzel shrugged one shoulder and dropped the seaweed on Marlene's hair. "I can't help it if you believed it."

"Oooh, that's it!" Marlene leapt up, shaking most of the seaweed into Tifa's lap, and chased Denzel back toward the water.

Cloud looked over at Tifa as she picked up the seaweed. "Yeah," he said with a smile of his own, "I think they're both doing okay."

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Chapter Twenty-Four - Mortal Coil

"Maybe?" Cloud repeated sharply, dozens of questions swarming his mind.

Tifa leaned forward. "Why don't you tell us what you know, from the beginning?" She nudged the glass of water closer to Elia. "And drink that. You don't look well."

Elia's eyes kept darting nervously toward the front door. Cloud was already completely on guard; if someone was coming after her and did manage to track her to Seventh Heaven-- "We should take her to WRO headquarters," he said to Tifa. "They can protect--"

"No!" Elia said sharply, half-rising from the booth. She caught herself and dropped back down into the seat, her voice more controlled. "No. I can't go there. Let me--let me explain."

Cloud positioned himself where he could keep an eye on the door--he'd hear anyone who tried to get in through the garage. There were three doors they'd have to get through for that.

The faster they found out what was going on, the better. He nodded at Elia, who began to speak rapidly. "It started because of my grandfather's research. Everything--the monsters, the kidnappings. And because of me. After I was healed from Geostigma, I got pregnant and lost the baby. I didn't know it had anything to do with Jenova cells. I tried again and…and I lost the second baby, too. That was about when the doctors and scientists started realizing the connection between the Jenova cells and pregnancy. Granddad started researching it because of me. But the more he studied it, the more he worried about the effect Jenova cells had on the Lifestream." She took a deep breath and finally gulped down half the glass of water.

Elia's eyes shifted to the door again briefly before focusing on Cloud and Tifa as she continued, "Granddad says that when someone infected with Geostigma dies--even if it's someone who has inactive cells--that it contaminates the Lifestream. That the more people who have babies with Jenova cells, the more future generations will be affected. He's talked to me about it a lot, about whether it will eventually destroy the Lifestream, destroy the planet. He's not the only one who had concerns. There were others, scientists, researchers--fanatics, some of them. They formed a group--Granddad always just called it the coalition--and Granddad decided to help them with their goals."

"These weren't the same researchers who were helping pregnant women, were they?" Tifa asked, and Cloud saw the worry on her face.

"No," Elia said adamantly. "That's a different group. The doctors working to help pregnant women have nothing to do with this. Granddad was working with both groups, and he was working with them in hopes that he might ultimately be able to solve the problem with Jenova cells." She twisted her fingers nervously together. "These people--the coalition--they had disagreements with Granddad. They didn't like his work with pregnancy; they thought that anyone previously infected with the Jenova cells shouldn't have babies at all until there was a solution that could completely remove any traces of the cells. But they let Granddad work with the coalition because he's the best in his field, and he worked with them because he knew if they could really find a way to eliminate the Jenova cells from someone, it would solve so many problems." She paused to swiftly drink the rest of the glass of water. She set it back on the table and grimaced, her hand going to the rash on her neck.

"Are you okay?" Tifa asked quietly.

"Don't worry, it's not contagious," Elia said hurriedly. "I'm getting better. I-I didn't mean to get pregnant again, you see. But protection--well, it doesn't always protect as well as it should. When I found out I was pregnant, I got an injection of the early prototype of an immunoglobulin in hopes it would help me not miscarry again. It wasn't quite ready for testing yet, and Granddad was worried about giving it to me, but it was either that or probably have another miscarriage. There were some…side effects. But two months ago I had an injection of the newest version of the immunoglobulin and I've been slowly feeling better. The side effects should go away. And…I'm still pregnant. That makes anything worth it." She shook her head. "I can explain more about that if I have time. Right now, I need to tell you about the monsters."

Cloud's hands clenched into fists. The monsters that had been the cause of so much confusion and pain in his life. In so many lives.

"Granddad brought some monsters already infected with Jenova cells to his research lab in Mideel. He experimented on them, worked on a solution that might get rid of the cells. I don't understand everything he did, but I do know that he injected the monsters with something that he thought might do the trick--that might completely get rid of Jenova cells in the monsters. But it didn't work. It just started mutating the monsters. It was--it was a mess. One of the monsters broke out of its confinement and went crazy. It tore up the lab, killed some of Granddad's researchers, and then crashed through the floor. That part of the lab was right on top of the Lifestream pool."

Cloud recalled very clearly how part of Dorne's lab had hung over the Lifestream. His mind was already racing ahead, and some of the questions he'd had over the past weeks started to come together…he could guess what might have happened, at least partly.

"Half of that lab room collapsed into the Lifestream, and that monster, along with five others, fell in," Elia explained.

Cloud remembered something then that Yuffie had said about Dorne after she took a trip down to Mideel just after the school was destroyed. "Looked like he had his hands full, too. There were some sort of tremors that ruined part of the Prof's facility. That's what he gets for setting up right on top of the Lifestream, though."

Some "tremors," he thought furiously.

There was a noise from upstairs and Elia jumped, knocking over the empty glass of water. Tifa caught it and righted it, and Cloud said, "It's probably one of the kids." He wasn't going to take any chances, though. One hand went to the sword on his back and he headed toward the stairwell.

"You have children?" Elia asked in devastation. "I'm so, so sorry! I had no idea! I shouldn't have--"

"It's okay," Tifa interrupted firmly. "It's going to be okay."

Cloud reached the stairs and heard the sound of the toilet flushing. He went quietly upstairs and reached the top just as the bathroom door opened and Marlene stumbled out. She didn't notice him as she went back into her room.

Relaxing slightly, Cloud went up and checked on the kids anyway; Marlene had already curled up in her bed and Denzel was sound asleep in his. Cloud hurried back downstairs. "It was just Marlene," he said to Tifa and a very distressed Elia.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered again.

"It's okay," Tifa repeated. "Why don't you just finish telling us what happened?"

Elia nodded and seemed to pull herself together. Taking a deep breath, she went on. "I don't know what you know about the patterns and flow of the Lifestream. If something living falls into it, it usually gets spit back out. Granddad said it used to be that the current of the Lifestream carried most things down to Mideel and tossed them out there. But he said that the Lifestream has been messed with so much the past years, during Meteor and during the Omega crisis, that it's altered some of the currents. It doesn't flow the same way that it once did. There are new pools of Mako that have opened up where reactors used to be, and that changes things, too. So now, when something living falls into the Lifestream, it's likely to come out other places."

"Like Midgar?" Cloud asked quietly. "Or Nibelheim? Or Junon?" Places where there were pools of Mako. He thought about the one that had formed after the Lifestream sprang from the earth during the Deepground incident. And then in Junon…that must have been how the monsters had gotten down in the underwater hydro facility. They had come out of the Lifestream that was pooled where the old reactor had once been.

Elia looked relieved that he understood. "Yes. The monster that attacked the school here? It was the same one that busted up the lab room at Granddad's facility. But it wasn't nearly that big before it fell into the Lifestream. By the time it came out in Midgar, it was huge, either because of the Mako reacting to the experiments done on it or because of the solution that Granddad had injected into it. Then…it destroyed your school."

"Why the school?" Cloud asked. "Was there any reason to that? There were closer buildings it could have attacked."

Elia shook her head. "The monsters were erratic. There was something about the experiments done on the monsters that made them aggressive toward Jenova cells. Toward carriers of Jenova cells. It didn't matter if they were active cells or inactive cells--Granddad thought that was progress. Apparently, human beings or monsters with inactive Jenova cells can't sense the Jenova cells in anybody or anything else. So Granddad thought it was interesting that these monsters were drawn to inactive Jenova cells as much as active ones. He still doesn't understand why it works like that."

That would explain why the monsters in Junon had gone for Cloud, too…he had been the only one down there with Jenova cells in his body.

"You seem to know a lot about all of this. You're not a scientist, are you?" Tifa asked.

"No," Elia said, "but Granddad raised me and I hear about it all the time." She rubbed her temples. "He said that the monster probably attacked the school because it was a high concentration of Jenova cells in one area. A lot of kids had Geostigma. It was seeking out Jenova cells, but like I said--it was erratic."

"Wait a minute." Cloud help up his hand. He was trying to control his anger toward Professor Dorne, but inside he felt completely cold. So much for trustworthy professors. He had really thought Dorne was different, too. "What about your grandfather? He came here to Edge to study the bodies. It was his lab that created these monsters, his work--this is his fault! All those kids who died! Everything!"

"Yes." Tears filled Elia's eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She wiped them with the back of her hand. "I was there when Granddad heard about the monster attack on the school. He was horrified. It was--it was the first time I've ever seen him cry." She rubbed more tears off of her face. "That's when he told me about his project and how horribly wrong it had gone. He was going to come straight up to Midgar and tell Commissioner Tuesti exactly what had happened--he was going to take full responsibility for it and take whatever consequences were given to him."

"But?" Tifa prodded.

Elia took another deep breath. "The coalition knew if he told, it would ruin everything they were trying to accomplish. So they took me. Late at night, they came in and took me from my home. They blindfolded me and stuffed me in a helicopter and they flew me away somewhere. They told me I'd stay safe as long as my grandfather cooperated with them. They could have just killed him, but they still wanted him. He was the one who really understood the research he'd been doing on the monsters. It was his project, and they still needed him to work on it. They needed his research. So they used me as collateral so he would keep helping them."

Tifa reached across the table, taking Elia's hands in hers. Cloud stared at Elia, feeling sympathetic toward her but not sure if this changed his anger toward Dorne.

"Please," Elia said brokenly, "Granddad and I--all we have is each other. I haven't seen him in almost seven weeks. I can't imagine how he's been tearing himself up."

"Couldn't he have told Reeve? Come to us? Told someone?" Cloud demanded.

Elia shook her head. "I don't know. But I know my grandfather, and I know that if he could have said something, he would have. I know that some of the coalition has ties to the WRO and that some of them are people with a lot of money. It wouldn't surprise me if they have people watching Granddad, making sure he doesn't talk."

She leaned back and rested her hands on her stomach, rubbing it absently with one hand. "When the coalition took me, they kept me on a boat. I could tell because it was always swaying and I was really ill at first from all the rocking. I figured it was a pretty big ship, because they were using it as a research lab. Maybe they'd had it all along and Granddad never knew about it. It was there that I found out the monster that crashed into the school was later found dead. It died from the solution that Granddad had injected into it." Her voice turned bitter. "I also learned that the coalition thought this was progress because when Granddad studied the body, he found that quite a lot of Jenova cells actually had been completely eradicated. The thing still had the Jenova cells, but apparently not nearly as many. So his experiment was at least partly successful. Except for the obvious mutations and death of the monster. Apparently four of the other monsters were accounted for--two came out in Nibelheim, two in Junon. The sixth monster was never found, but it's likely that if it did ever come out of the Lifestream, it died the same way the first monster did. At least, that's what I heard. I picked up a lot of information while on that boat."

How bitterly ironic that Reeve had summoned Dorne to Edge to study the body of monsters that he had created. Cloud rubbed the back of his neck and gritted his teeth in frustration. All this time…all this time it had been right in front of them.

Elia swallowed hard. "And then they brought the first little girl in. I never saw her, but I heard her crying when she first came. She was in a room next to mine. I could talk to her through the wall. She told me she was from Nibelheim. She was scared…and I didn't know what was going on until I finally got the woman who brought me meals everyday to tell me what was happening. I guess a couple of the monsters from Granddad's lab washed out of the Lifestream in Mt. Nibel, but the coalition got to them before the WRO could. They took Rady--" Elia pointed at the picture on the flyer of the little girl from Nibelheim "--while they were there. It's because the project Granddad had been working on was being modified. The coalition had decided that Granddad's experiments weren't working successfully because they needed to be performed on humans, not monsters. Human physiology is obviously a lot different. And Granddad--he would never, ever experiment on humans." She took a deep breath. "I found out that one of the coalition's researchers on the boat objected to it, said they shouldn't experiment on humans. She tried to call someone about it, to warn them, but she was caught making the phone call."

Tifa sucked in a sharp breath and looked at Cloud with wide eyes. The phone call... Cloud remembered it as clearly as if it had just happened, the frantic woman on the phone. "It was an accident--the monster that destroyed that school, it was a mistake--the experiments went horribly wrong…there were two at Mt. Nibel and there are three more still missing--it's not going to stop, they're only going to start--"

Start experimenting on humans. Was that what she had been trying to tell him?

"I don't know what they did to her," Elia said. "The woman who brought me food would only tell me that she had been a liability and that she had been taken care of, and...I don't know." She bowed her head. "I don't know how many people they brought on board. I only ever talked to Rady--I just know they were finding people who had once had Geostigma. They said…they said it would help them if they had a pregnant woman to experiment on, too, but that was harder because the women with Geostigma were the ones who had trouble staying pregnant. But since I was there already…they figured they could use me." She shook her head. "But they had to wait until my last dose of the immunoglobulin wore off or their experiments wouldn't work properly. That gave me a lot of time, because it takes three months for each injection to wear off, and when they took me, I'd just had my latest shot. But…but I'm so scared for Granddad! They told me he had almost given them all they needed for their research before they took things into their own hands."

Tifa looked furious. "They were blackmailing him just so they could experiment on you and…what? Get rid of him?"

"That's what it seems like." Elia covered her face with her hands. "Now that I've escaped, what if they already killed him? The person who helped me escape told me he'd tell my grandfather I was safe, but that I shouldn't try to call him."

"Who helped you escape? How did you get away?" Tifa asked.

"A man. I'd never seen him before, but he was one of the researchers on the ship. He told me he couldn't be part of this anymore…he said one of the people they were experimenting on had died."

Cloud and Tifa exchanged glances, and the pain, anger, and worry in Tifa's eyes reflected Cloud's own emotions.

"The ship was docked in a port for supplies in Junon," Elia explained. "He got me off the boat and told me to find someone who could help."

Cloud shook his head. "So you came to us?"

"I thought you could help," Elia replied. "You have strong ties to Commissioner Tuesti, and even though the coalition has ties to the WRO, I don't think he has anything to do with this. And you…you're both some of the most high-profile fighters in the world. And you're the easiest to find." She waved a hand around the bar. "You run Seventh Heaven. The address and phone number are easy to get."

Cloud and Tifa looked at each other again. Cloud wondered if that was why the researcher trying to warn of human experimentation had tried calling them. He would probably never know, but…maybe it did make sense.

"The man who helped me escape gave me this." Elia pulled another paper out of her pocket and handed it to Cloud.

He looked at it and immediately realized, "Coordinates." He looked at Elia sharply. "Maybe this is where the boat is now."

"Or a rough estimation of its location. They keep moving," Elia said. She sagged back in the booth, looking far more exhausted and miserable than she had when she'd first knocked on the door, but not quite as jittery. She was still nervous, but it was as though telling her story had calmed her down a little.

Elia had said some of the coalition had money--which meant they could have afforded to hire some goons for protection or coercion or whatever else the hell they wanted...like chasing down escaped pregnant women. He hated scientists.

Almost as if reading his mind, Elia fixed her eyes on him and said, very tiredly, "Please…please don't blame my grandfather. He was trying to protect me. What would you do to protect your family?"

Cloud's eyes went to Tifa, and he thought of Marlene and Denzel upstairs. He didn't even have to think about it. He'd do whatever it took to keep them safe. In fact, maybe they should just get out of the house and get somewhere else, somewhere safer. Yeah, it might be best to do that and then get in touch with Reeve and Yuffie to see about tracking down this research boat.

"Tifa, we--" Cloud didn't get any further before a sudden noise caught his ear. He yanked his main blade out and whirled just as the front door was kicked in.

Chapter Text

Sniff. Sniiiiff. A small groan followed the thick sniffles coming from the couch in the living room. Cloud shut the laundry room door and set the package in his arms at the bottom of the stairs. He'd finished his deliveries early--rather, had pushed some deliveries back so he could come home early. He could hear the sounds of people talking in the bar, the clank of ice being dropped into a glass.

A long, hacking cough came from the living room, and Cloud's forehead pinched into a frown. He looked into the room to see Marlene on the couch, propped up with a pillow. The television from the guest room had been brought downstairs and set on the table, angled so Marlene could see it. She was watching an old movie and drinking a tall glass of juice.

Cloud stepped into the room and Marlene's head turned, her eyes lighting up when she saw him. "Cloud!"

Her voice sounded just as muffled as it had when he'd left that morning, thanks to her clogged nose. "Hey. How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said, but it came out more as, "I'b fide." She tried to sniff again, then sighed. "Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow so I can go back to school."

"Mm." Cloud's reply was noncommittal. He walked toward the couch and sat on the end of it. "Did you finish the homework Denzel brought you yesterday?"

"Yup." She started coughing again, covering her mouth with her arm, her small body wracking with the force of it. She sounded a lot worse than she had during the night, and that had been enough to keep both him and Tifa awake a good portion of the time. "I've got to get better soon. Kiri's birthday is in four days and I haven't got her present yet!"

"Yeah? Any ideas about what you want to get her?"

"There's a really pretty necklace of a blue flower at Ms. Ilis's store. I think Kiri would really like it, and I have enough gil saved to get it," Marlene replied. "I was going to go buy it yesterday but I was sick."

"Cloud, you're home early!"

Cloud turned as Tifa came into the room, a tired smile on her face. She paused in front of him to claim a kiss before stepping over to Marlene and laying her wrist on her forehead. "You're still pretty hot, sweetie. Finish that juice and I'll get you another cloth, okay?" Tifa smoothed Marlene's hair back from her forehead.

Cloud followed Tifa back into the bar. Lunch had just ended, so the bar was pretty empty. "Is she okay?" Cloud asked, trying not to let any of his worry into his voice.

Tifa ran a washcloth under the water. "I think she's fine. She just has a bit of a nasty cold. I'm sure coming back from Costa del Sol back into the lovely weather here had something to do with it. It's just that time of year." She got a piece of ice out of the icebox on the counter and folded the washcloth around it. "She'll be better soon." She rested a hand on Cloud's arm. "Kids get colds, Cloud."

It had been years since Cloud had gotten a normal cold. The Mako in his body prevented most illnesses, with the obvious exception of Geostigma--but that was caused by Jenova cells, not a virus. He couldn't really even remember what it was like to get sick. Maybe that, or maybe the memory of the Stigma, always made him more concerned when one of his family fell ill.

He took the folded washcloth from Tifa, who squeezed his arm reassuringly. He went back into the living room and put the cool cloth across Marlene's forehead. She smiled at him and said, "Thanks, Cloud."

Cloud spent some time sitting with Marlene, half-watching the movie she had playing and tensing every time she started her hoarse coughing. She finally managed to doze off toward the end of the movie. Cloud left it playing so that the sudden silence wouldn't wake her up, and walked softly out of the room and into the bar.

Marlene woke up about the time that Denzel came home from school. When Cloud went to check on her, he saw Denzel sitting on the couch, Marlene's legs stretched across his lap. He was waving a hand and telling her a story about something that had happened in school that day. While Denzel was talking, he reached over to turn the cloth on Marlene's forehead over to the cooler side.

Cloud stepped quietly back out of the room, reassuring himself that Marlene had plenty of people looking after her and that she was going to be fine.

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Chapter Twenty-Five - Flight

Cloud had his sword out in an instant, and Tifa yanked Elia out of the booth and to the ground, covering her just as there was a sudden blinding flash and a deafening explosion of sound. Tifa clapped her hands to her ears, blinking rapidly but seeing nothing except white light. Stun grenade, her mind told her. It was non-lethal, just an explosion of light and noise, commonly used to disorient a potential target. Her ears were ringing. Her vision, at least, began to clear after several seconds and she started to see vague shapes through the whiteness. There was a figure that had to be Cloud, standing firmly at the front door, swords in his hands weaving through the air. Either he had recovered more quickly or he was fighting blind. Regardless, he had managed to keep the shadowy figures on the other side of the door out of the bar.

It was then that she noticed something rolling across the floor. She probably wouldn't have seen it except it came to a stop right next to her. Something cylindrical…

Tifa darted forward and grabbed the object off the floor. She threw it straight out the door, over the heads of the shadows who were now meeting the sharp end of Cloud's blades. Not two seconds later, it exploded. She couldn't tell how large the blast radius was, but it couldn't have been too big because Seventh Heaven remained unharmed.

Adrenaline was surging through Tifa, clearing her mind and focusing her body's energy toward battle. A hot rock of fury had formed in her stomach--these people were obviously out to kill. They had sent a stun grenade in first--maybe to make it easier to kill them--but the explosive that she had thrown out the door was definitely not for stunning.

And her children were upstairs.

She clenched her fists and went after Cloud, who was moving out the front door. Her ears were still ringing, but sounds were starting to come back in garbled little spurts. Her vision was much clearer, and when she reached the door, she had a wide view of the street. A nondescript truck--military style, but without any military markings--was parked outside, and right beside it was a smoking crater where the explosive had gone off. It had just missed hitting the truck, but it had apparently not missed several people. She might have felt nauseated at the mess if she wasn't still focused on staying alive and keeping her family safe.

Memories were flashing rapidly through Tifa's mind as she saw Cloud fighting, memories of watching him fighting Sephiroth from inside Cid's airship, memories of herself fighting…so many battles…

The memories were a distraction she couldn't afford right then. She focused on what was in front of her and launched herself at the nearest man as he swung his gun toward her. She had him disarmed and unconscious in the time it took the few remaining people to notice that she had come out of the bar behind Cloud.

It didn't take long to realize that while these people obviously had some training, they weren't nearly as skilled as she and Cloud were. She felt like she had barely even stepped outside before she and Cloud were standing with a dozen or so fallen bodies around them, some dead, some unconscious.

Cloud whirled toward the house. "Tifa, we have to go now!"

Tifa nodded. It wasn't safe here.

They ran inside and Cloud hauled Elia, wide-eyed and trembling, to her feet. "We have to move," he told her. "Come on." They headed through the bar and into the house, quickly climbing the stairs. Tifa's heart leapt into her throat when she reached Marlene's room and saw that her bed was empty. She moved over to Denzel's room and discovered his bed was also vacant. She was about to panic, wondering if someone had slipped past them and taken the kids, and wondering why would they have done that, when Cloud said, "The passage." Still gripping Elia's arm, he moved toward his office. "The kids know if something dangerous is happening here, they're supposed to use the escape route and call for help."

The fist gripping Tifa's heart eased slightly. Denzel and Marlene had undoubtedly heard the stun grenade go off, could have looked out their windows to see what was happening outside, and could have used the trapdoor in Cloud's office to get out. The emergency phone that the kids took whenever they went out was kept in Cloud's office, so if they had been thinking about it, they would have taken it with them.

Cloud pulled his phone out and made a call. A moment later, he said, "Denzel? Are you all right?" A pause. "No, stay right there." Another pause as Cloud listened, and he said, "Good. We'll be right there." He shut his phone. "They're safe. They used the passage--we'll have to use it, too, unless we want to take a huge detour to get to them."

Tifa recalled that the passage out of the house came up in the alley behind the building next door. The alley was walled off from Seventh Heaven so that anyone trying to get to it would have to walk around the block to do so.

Elia still looked completely stunned and she was breathing hard as Cloud opened the trapdoor in his office, revealing the ladder that went down, past the second hidden door in the living room, and continued into a tunnel. Tifa went down first, followed by Elia, and Cloud came last, pulling the trapdoor shut behind himself and enclosing them in complete blackness. Fortunately, the tunnel at the bottom of the ladder wasn't very long, and it was easy to feel along it to get to the end.

Tifa spotted Denzel and Marlene as soon as she climbed out of the tunnel. They were huddled together in the shadows of the alley, shivering in their pajamas in the cold night air. Marlene was gripping Denzel's arm and they were both wide-eyed and pale.

Marlene released Denzel and flung herself on Tifa. "You're okay," she gasped.

Tifa squeezed her tightly. "I'm okay. Are you?" She tilted Marlene's face up, seeing the fear in her eyes, but also the determination.

Marlene nodded. "We heard an explosion and saw people outside, but we got the emergency phone and got out! Denzel was just about to call Yuffie." Both children were looking at Elia with expressions of confusion.

Cloud squeezed Denzel's shoulder. "You both did great."

Despite Denzel's worried, pinched face, his eyes lit up and he nodded at Cloud.

Cloud turned to Elia. "Did they do anything to you? Implant something in you while they had you?"

"I-I-" Elia took a deep breath. "They ran blood tests on me a couple of times. They knocked me out to run some other test…they were trying to do an amniocentesis on me and I was fighting them, so they put me under…I don't know what else they might have done while I was out…"

"They're either really good at tracking or they put something in you to track you," Cloud said. "Either way, we're going to have to move." He looked at Tifa. "I'll call Reeve and have him get an airship ready. If we can get Elia into the air, it will probably be the safest place for her."

:--:--:--:--:

"What in the name of Leviathan is going on?" Yuffie demanded when they reached the WRO airship base. "I've got reports coming in about an explosion outside Seventh Heaven, and then Reeve calls to say to get down here and to watch out for you guys and...hey!" She planted her hands on her hips and looked at Elia. "You're Dorne's granddaughter, aren't you? We met last year--what are you doing here?"

"Yuffie, let's just get on the airship? It's ready, right?" Cloud asked.

Yuffie nodded. "This way. We're using Reeve's personal airship."

Reeve was waiting just inside the small airship, and he looked at them with concern. He frowned a bit when he saw Elia, but then his eyes went to Cloud and Tifa. "Care to explain what's going on?"

"You're sure your pilot is trustworthy?" Cloud asked.

"Yes," Reeve said.

"Let's get in the air and then we'll talk."

Yuffie led the kids over to a narrow seat on the airship and sat them down, swiftly grabbing several blankets out of a cabinet and wrapping them around both shivering children. As the airship lifted off, Tifa finally let herself breathe. She stood with Cloud, her arm pressed against his--he was just as tense as she was. But they were alive, and they were all safe.

Yuffie bounced back over and looked at them expectantly. "So? What is going on?"

"She can explain it," Cloud said, nodding at Elia.

For the second time that night, Tifa listened to Elia explain from the beginning everything that had been going on. Reeve listened in complete silence; Yuffie listened with numerous gasps, exclamations, and a curse that made her clap her hand to her mouth and glance back at Denzel and Marlene to see if they had heard her, but they were out of earshot and talking quietly to each other. It was also Yuffie who interrupted Elia's story to ask, "Wait a sec. Where's your baby's dad in all of this?"

Tifa had wondered the same thing, but there hadn't been a good time to ask back at Seventh Heaven.

Elia looked down and shook her head. "He…died…just before I found out I was pregnant with this baby." Her voice broke. "A truck crashed into his car…it was a rainy day and…" She took a deep breath. "So I moved back to Mideel to be near Granddad."

Yuffie squeezed her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Elia nodded. There was a moment of silence as she composed herself, and then she continued with her story. When she was finished, Cloud and Tifa told them briefly how they had been attacked at Seventh Heaven.

"Possible implanted tracking device, hm?" Reeve looked at Elia. "I think I may have a scanner on board. Had I not left Cait Sith at the WRO headquarters--but no matter. We'll--"

"If you don't have something on board, Vincent's got a bunch of equipment stashed at his place in Kalm. We should go there anyway; we're gonna have to round up some trustworthy people if we're gonna check out these coordinates," Yuffie said. "And we are gonna check them out," she told Reeve.

"Of course." Reeve nodded.

"Commissioner Tuesti," Elia spoke up again, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. "Is there anyway you can find out about my grandfather? I know he's--I just...need to know if he's safe."

"Ms. Garrens." Tifa knew instantly from Reeve's grave tone and the expression in his eyes that he had something unpleasant to say.

Elia realized it, too; she froze and stared at Reeve.

"Just after Cloud contacted me, I received a phone call from your grandfather's research facility in Mideel. I'm very sorry to tell you that your grandfather is dead."

Elia's breath caught in her throat. "W-what? H-how?"

"He was shot. I was told it looked like a suicide, but under the circumstances--" He stopped talking as Elia doubled over, bracing her hands on her knees, sucking in sharp, uneven breaths. Tifa quickly caught her around the waist, and Elia sank into her and suddenly started sobbing, gut-wrenching cries that tore out of her throat. Tifa dropped to the ground with her, holding onto her and looking helplessly at Cloud. While she might have felt ambiguous about Professor Dorne, she felt nothing but sympathy for this woman who had been caught up in his inadvertent mess. She was as much of a victim of her grandfather's experiments as everyone who had been injured or killed in the school's attack. However unintentional the damage had been, it had still happened.

Tifa understood why Dorne had kept his silence, understood that he had been trying to protect his granddaughter, but now he was dead and he couldn't even answer for any of what he had done. In a perfect world, he would have been alive to at least see his granddaughter and he would have taken responsibility for his actions, however well-intentioned they might have been. Then again, in a perfect world none of this would have happened in the first place. This was life, and it wasn't always neat and orderly and fair. It was quite often dirty and messy and it had many injustices. It was left to them to right what wrongs they could, but Tifa knew that not everything turned out the way people wanted it to.

"It's…my…fault…" Elia managed to choke out around her weeping. "They probably killed him. They probably killed him when I escaped…trying to cover their tracks…if I had stayed there…if I hadn't left the boat…"

"Then you would have wound up an experiment. You and your baby," Tifa whispered to her. Her mind was racing ahead…they had to find these people that were being experimented on before they all ended up dead.

As she continued to hold onto Elia, Tifa's gaze moved to Denzel and Marlene. The kids still didn't know exactly what was going on, only that some people were after this woman who had come to Cloud and Tifa for help. And Tifa still had no idea which of the missing people had died. What if it was Izzi? What if it wasn't? No matter what, someone's loved ones would have to face a loss and part of her was terrified it would be Denzel who would be faced with another loss.

"We have to find that boat before this coalition decides to move their base. If they abandon the boat, we'll have to start from scratch," Reeve was saying quietly to Cloud and Yuffie; Tifa could just hear him over Elia's crying. "And I want to know who in the WRO might be party to this. Until we know, I'm only going to call the people I trust absolutely."

"Reeve, these coordinates are over past Wutai," Yuffie said. "I bet if I call Red and Barret and Cid they can meet us--"

"What about the kids?" Tifa asked. Elia's crying was subsiding, and at Tifa's words, she took a last, gulping breath, her eyes darting guiltily over to Denzel and Marlene.

"Shera," Yuffie said immediately. "I'm sure she'll watch them. I'll see if we can get everyone to meet up in Rocket Town. Cloud, you call Cid and Shera and I'll call Barret and Red."

"In the meantime, Ms. Garrens, I realize this is a very difficult time for you, but I do need to see if I have a scanner on board. We need to find out if you have a tracer on you." Reeve crouched down in front of Elia and offered his hand.

Elia stared at Reeve with red, watery eyes, and then slowly grasped his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet. Reeve led her through a door, into a different part of the ship. Cloud and Yuffie were both on the phone, and Tifa finally had a moment to go over to Denzel and Marlene. They made room so she could sit down between them.

"You two have been fantastic. Are you okay?" she asked them softly, wrapping an arm around each of them.

"Yes, but what's happening?" Denzel asked. "Who were those people who attacked the bar? Who is Elia? Where are we going?"

Tifa's fingers tightened around his arm. She considered carefully for a minute, and then said slowly, "Elia brought us information that might help us find the people who went missing."

Denzel's head whipped up and he stared at her with wide eyes. "You mean you're going to look for Izzi and everyone else?"

"We're hoping we might be able to find them." Tifa hesitated. She didn't want to break his heart anymore, but she knew that if they did find the abductees and if Izzi was indeed dead… "But…one of them died."

Denzel looked as if she had punched him in the gut, and she winced. "We don't know who," she said. "I won't tell you not to worry, Denzel, but don't give up yet."

Denzel closed his eyes for a long moment and then nodded once. Tifa knew it wasn't going to be that easy; fear and despair could be difficult to fight off, but she also knew that she couldn't have lied to him.

"Tifa?" Marlene asked quietly. "Why was Elia crying?"

"She just found out her grandfather died," Tifa replied softly.

Cloud hung up his phone and came over to them. He crouched and looked between Denzel and Marlene. "Are you okay?" His eyes went to Tifa's at the end of this question, and she knew he was asking her, too.

Denzel's hands clenched into fists and he looked at Cloud. "You're going to get them?"

Tifa and Cloud exchanged glances. She wasn't even sure if Denzel meant the missing people or those who had taken them, but in either case, the answer was the same. "We're going to do everything we possibly can," Cloud said.

Denzel nodded again and leaned back against Tifa.

"Will we be able to go home again?" Marlene asked.

"When this is over and we're sure it's safe," Cloud said. "Right now, you and Denzel are going to stay with Shera for a little while so Tifa and I can sort things out. Okay?"

Tifa reached for Cloud's hand and squeezed it, silently telling him that she was doing fine. She had been through worse--she even had the memories to back that up now. Overall, getting into a fight in her own home and being forced to flee in the middle of the night was definitely not the worst that could have happened.

Yuffie snapped her phone shut. "Barret and Red are heading for Cid's. After we nab Vincent, we'll go to Rocket Town and grab everyone, and then go in search of this boat. And oooh, when I get my hands on these people, they'll meet the sharp end of my shuriken."

"You have lots of sharp ends on your shuriken," Marlene said.

Yuffie nodded in satisfaction. "Exactly."

Chapter Text

Cloud couldn't sleep. He lay in bed, listening to Marlene cough in her bedroom, and glanced at Tifa, who was also wide awake. Every time her eyes began to drift closed, Marlene's hacking snapped them open again.

"This sounds worse than her colds usually do," Tifa finally said, and now Cloud was really worried because he could see a hint of concern in Tifa's eyes. "Maybe--"

She stopped talking when Marlene stumbled over to their bedroom door, left open tonight so it would be easier to keep an eye on Marlene. "Tifa?" Her voice was hoarse and faint.

Cloud and Tifa both sat bolt upright. Marlene was crying. "I hurt." They both knew that neither of the kids were ones to complain unless they were in a lot of pain. "It hurts so much every time I breathe."

If it was anything other than a cold or virus, Cloud would have given Marlene a potion. They kept potions strictly for emergencies, because if they were taken frequently it tended to lower a potion's effect, so that the body started needing hi-potions and then x-potions just to work at all. They were also jolting to the heart, and not recommended for use on children. At this point, if it could have fixed Marlene, Cloud would have used one anyway, but potions didn't work on viruses.

Tifa pressed her hands to Marlene's flushed face. "And you're still burning up. I think we need to get you to a doctor, sweetie." The only doctors in Edge were at the hospital. "I'll take her," Tifa told Cloud before he had a chance to say anything. "We don't need to bring everyone. I'll call you to let you know what's going on."

He knew she was right; there really was no point in dragging Denzel out of bed to take him to the hospital in the middle of the night. If something serious was going on with Marlene, Cloud and Denzel could be at the hospital in no time. He nodded. "Okay."

While Tifa pulled on her sneakers, Cloud bundled Marlene up in a jacket, hat, and shoes. Then Tifa and Marlene got into the car and Tifa drove away to the hospital.

It was an hour before Tifa called Cloud's cell phone. "We're coming home, Cloud. The doctors gave me some medicine for Marlene to help clear up her lungs. She just has a nasty upper respiratory infection. We just need to give her medicine and keep doing what we've been doing--get her to rest and drink a lot of fluids." There was no hint of worry in Tifa's voice, only reassurance, and Cloud let out a long sigh, much of his tension draining away.

"Okay. See you soon."

He and Tifa took turns that night staying up with Marlene. They set her up once more in the living room so her coughing wouldn't keep them all awake. Marlene dozed here and there, but spent a lot of the night just being tired and hurt and watching movies as a distraction.

Cloud put off his deliveries for the next day so that he could help Tifa with Marlene and the bar. He went out only once, and that was to go to the shop down the street. He quickly found the necklace Marlene had described--it was the only one with a blue flower on it. He bought it and took it home.

When he gave it Marlene, her face lit up. "The necklace!" She had pretty much lost her voice from all her coughing; it came out as nothing more than a squeak. "Thank you, Cloud!" She grasped it in her hand and smiled. "Kiri's going to like it, don't you think?"

"Yeah."

"I'll give it to her when I'm all better."

It was about a week before Marlene had fully recovered, and it wasn't until then that Cloud and Tifa fully relaxed. He knew that as much as kids might get sick, after everything he and Tifa had been through, it was difficult--if not impossible--to not have some fear when illness struck someone they loved. No matter how normal it was.

The past was a tricky thing, Cloud thought as he watched a much healthier Marlene cheerfully finishing her breakfast so she and Denzel could go to school. His past said a lot--about himself, about his mistakes, about how to keep from making those mistakes again. It could make things easier, but sometimes it could also make things harder.

He watched Tifa hand the kids their lunch bags, which they stuffed into their rucksacks. Marlene grabbed her present for Kiri off the table and the kids said their goodbyes, heading out the door for school.

Tifa turned and smiled at him as the front door closed, and he returned it with a slow smile of his own.

One foot in front of the other, he reminded himself. That's all they could ever do. Take things a step at a time, because they never truly knew what the future would hold.

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Twenty-Six - Together Again

"I don't have a scanner here," Reeve said as he and Elia rejoined the others. He waved at Elia to take a seat, and then eyed Yuffie, whose airsickness was kicking in. She stood in a corner, slightly hunched over. Silently, Reeve walked out of the room and came back a moment later with a compress, which he handed to Yuffie.

Yuffie took it gratefully and pressed it to her head. "You have stuff for airsickness but not for scanning?" she asked dubiously.

"I tend to have a need for that on my airship more than I have a need for scanning anyone," Reeve said dryly. "Particularly after your very long lecture about it--" he motioned to her compress "--the last time you rode in this airship. We'll find a scanner in Kalm."

As they continued toward Kalm, Cloud watched as Marlene stood up from where she was huddled against Tifa and walked quietly over to Elia, who was sitting red-eyed and miserable. He just picked up Marlene's quiet voice. "Hello."

Elia blinked at Marlene. "Hello."

"May I sit with you?"

Elia looked startled. "If-if you'd like."

Marlene sat down beside Elia, who looked even more surprised when Marlene leaned against her and put one arm around her, so it was draped gently over Elia's rounded stomach. "I'm very sorry about your grandfather," Marlene said.

Elia's face crumpled, and after a long moment, Cloud very faintly heard her whisper, "Thank you."

Cloud turned and walked over to Tifa and Denzel, taking the seat Marlene had abandoned. Tifa was watching Marlene with an expression of pride. "Somehow I think she'll be able to do more for Elia than any of us could," she said softly.

Cloud knew what she meant. Before he could say anything, Denzel beat him to it. "Calling up strength in adults," he murmured.

Cloud and Tifa both looked at him. "What?"

Denzel was quiet, but his eyes drifted over to Reeve. Finally, he said, "He told me that kids have things only kids can do. When he--when he said he wasn't letting kids into the WRO anymore." He glanced back at Cloud and Tifa, his brow furrowed in an expression somewhere between bemusement and understanding.

Cloud, however, understood perfectly what Reeve had meant. Kids inspired a lot in adults. They gave hope and innocence and something to fight for.

By the time they arrived in Kalm, Marlene had fallen asleep curled up against Elia. Denzel was still awake, and even though he looked exhausted, Cloud wasn't sure Denzel would actually be able to sleep. Yuffie raced out of the airship as soon as they landed, either because she was anxious to see Vincent or just anxious to be off the ship. Or just anxious, period. With Yuffie, it could be difficult to tell.

When she came back a short while later, she had Vincent with her and a scanner in one hand. "Got it!" she exclaimed as she stepped onto the airship, waving the scanner.

Vincent swept in behind her, nodding at Cloud, Tifa, and Denzel, then quietly greeting Reeve.

"Let's get you scanned, then," Yuffie said, motioning at Elia as the airship took off once more. She paused to cover her mouth with her hand, making a face. "Stupid air travel," she muttered as Elia carefully extricated herself out from underneath Marlene's slumped, sleeping form. Marlene didn't wake up as Elia stood, allowing Yuffie to run the scanner slowly over her body.

"Ooh, here we go! You do have something stuck in you," Yuffie said as Reeve peered at the scanner over her shoulder. "Right here. Doesn't look like it's deep--probably just under the skin." She handed the scanner to Reeve and pressed her fingers against Elia's back. "It's right there, just under your shoulder blade."

"We're going to need to see about getting it out. It shouldn't be a problem if it's just under the skin," Reeve said.

"We'll get you fixed up, no worries!" Yuffie assured her. She put an arm around her and led her out of the room. "I deal with the tracking chips all the time; lots of people I send out on intelligence have to get 'em so I know I can find 'em if they go and get themselves lost or in trouble or something like that."

It was a few minutes before the two women returned. Elia stumbled back over to her seat, and Marlene stirred only briefly as she sat back down.

"Got it out, no problem," Yuffie assured them. "All it took was a tiny cut and a bandage. It was definitely a tracking chip. I crushed it to little bitty smithereens. It's destroyed. Obliterated. Smushed into oblivion. They won't be tracking her with that anymore." She sent a quick glance Reeve's way. "Before you tell me we could have used it to lay out a false trail--"

"I wasn't going to tell you we could have used it to lay out a false trail," Reeve said mildly.

"--I figured we already had enough to deal with and I didn't want to bring them anywhere near Cid and Shera's place," Yuffie finished as though Reeve hadn't spoken.

It was well into the middle of the night when they landed in Rocket Town. Denzel was still awake, but his eyes were drooping as he stood up. Marlene stayed asleep when Cloud walked over to lift her into his arms. Elia carefully ran her fingers over Marlene's hair as he picked her up. "She's an amazing little girl," she whispered to Cloud.

Cloud looked down at Marlene's peaceful face. "Yeah. She is."

They all got off the ship--by now, Yuffie looked quite the worse for wear, and she breathed a huge, relieved sigh as soon as her feet touched the ground. She then promptly bounded ahead and threw open the door to Cid and Shera's house without knocking.

Cid and Shera were already awake, talking with Barret. It was chaos for a several moments as Cloud and his companions entered--Barret's thundering voice, mixed with Cid's questions, made Marlene stir fretfully in Cloud's arms, her eyes prying open in confusion.

"Shut up!" Yuffie exclaimed, waving her hands at them. "Marlene's trying to sleep here!"

"'m awake," Marlene mumbled. She blinked and glanced sleepily around, and then promptly held her hands out toward Barret, who took her from Cloud and squeezed her tightly.

"Yer goin' straight back to bed," Barret told her sternly. "Shera--?"

"In the spare bedroom." As Barret set Marlene on her feet, Shera took her hand and led her to the back of the house. She returned a moment later, glancing at Denzel, who was hanging back next to Tifa as though afraid he was going to get sent to bed, too.

"We're just waitin' on Red. Should be here anytime," Cid said.

"Good. We'll wait to explain everything until he's here so we don't have to go over it a gazillion times," Yuffie said.

"Who's this?" Barret demanded, finally spotting Elia at the back of the room.

Introductions were briefly made and Shera pulled Elia over to a chair, insisting that she sit and fixing her a cup of tea, at the same time making hot chocolate for Denzel. It wasn't long before Nanaki arrived, and as soon as he did, Reeve said, "We should leave immediately. We'll talk on the airship."

As Elia rose to her feet, at this point looking so thoroughly drained and even more ill than she had when she first showed up at Seventh Heaven, Shera protested. "You're taking her with you? Is that really necessary?"

"I understand your concern, Shera, but she's the reason we're all here," Reeve said. "Though we're fairly certain we've prevented people from tracking her, it's best that we keep her in the air until we've dealt with this situation and can be certain people won't pursue her here."

"We ain't takin' your little hunk of an airship," Cid told Reeve flatly. "We'll take the Shera. You got crew on your ship?"

Reeve didn't protest; the Shera was much bigger than his personal airship anyway. "Just my pilot."

"Well--you know, on second thought, have him pilot your airship with mine. Might be good to have an extra ship along. Let me wake up a couple people I can bring on board for crew."

Cloud and Tifa said their goodbyes to Denzel as he sat at the table, clutching his cup of hot chocolate. Though he was obviously worried, he didn't say it. He hugged Tifa, allowed Cloud to squeeze his shoulder, and said to them both, "I'll see you later."

Within short order, they were all boarding the Shera, leaving Marlene and Denzel alone with Shera. As they lifted off the ground and set a course out past Wutai, everything was explained thoroughly to everyone who hadn't yet heard it.

"Could be a trap!" Barret said. "This whole thing could be one big set up. Not sayin' from you--" he nodded at Elia "--but from the fool that let her go."

"At this juncture, they've undoubtedly realized that Cloud and Tifa are involved," Nanaki pointed out. "We may not be able to find them before they 'jump ship,' perhaps quite literally. Of course, it's equally likely that these coordinates could be something other than the boat's location. We won't know until we get there."

"Even if it's not the boat," Reeve said, "it could potentially lead us to this coalition and our missing people. If it turns out to be nothing--we still need to do our best to find that boat before we have nothing to find."

While they were flying out toward the coordinates, Cloud and Tifa had a chance to talk with their friends, some of whom they hadn't seen since Tifa was in the hospital. Cloud could feel the readiness, the anticipation that always came before a fight. Yuffie was pacing back and forth with her airsick compress held over her head. Vincent stood quietly in the corner, arms folded and his eyes half-closed. Barret was talking with Tifa, his voice too- oud as always and hers soft. Red XIII sat with coiled readiness near Cloud, both of them fairly quiet, comfortable in their silence. Cid piloted the ship while Reeve stood in front of the navigation screen, and Elia was laying on her side on the ground, asleep, her exhaustion finally having overcome her fear and her grief.

After Tifa finished talking to Barret, she came over and sat beside Cloud, threading her fingers through his. "This brings back memories," she told him softly, her eyes roving around the group. "A lot of memories."

Cloud squeezed her hand. Her memories had been filling in a lot over the past weeks. The more she remembered, the more her mind had to work with to connect more pieces and pull up further memories. There were still many things she didn't remember, but she already had numerous journals at home full of scraps of things she had recalled--she had rediscovered so much that she couldn't write everything down, so she had just taken to jotting down notes of some things here and there.

"This is familiar," she whispered. "I remember so much traveling around in an airship like this. With Barret and Nanaki and everyone…" She leaned her head tiredly against his shoulder. "And I know that this probably isn't the worst we've faced."

Cloud wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her close. "Probably not." They couldn't know until it was over, but somehow, he didn't think this could come close to some of the other things they'd dealt with in the past.

Yuffie eventually stopped her pacing and just sat down with her compress, looking miserable. Reeve took that opportunity to fasten a tiny camera to her shirt and hand her a transmitter to fit into her ear. "Since I don't have Cait Sith to be my eyes if you all go into battle, this will have to do," he said.

The sun was still several hours from rising when Reeve said, "We're here--and that's not a boat."

Cloud jumped to his feet, pulling Tifa up with him. They both walked forward to look at the object ahead of them in the middle of the ocean.

"Where the hell did an island come from? Didn't think there was one out here!" Cid said.

"There's not!" Yuffie replied.

"I do not believe that is an island," Vincent said, peering out across the water. "At least not one of natural origins."

"He's right," Cloud said, eyes narrowing as he studied it. "It's some sort of man-made structure. A base in the water." There was a large building right there in the middle of the sea. It wasn't very tall--only one floor, unless it went down underneath the ocean. There was a helicopter pad on the roof with two helicopters resting on it.

"Well, that might not be a boat--but that sure is," Yuffie said, pointing as Cid moved the airship slightly to get a different angle. "A freighter of some sort. Think maybe that could be our boat?"

Reeve turned. "Ms. Garrens?"

Elia was awake and blinking in exhaustion at the scene before them. "I don't know. I only got a brief look at the boat when the one researcher got me off it. It looked like any number of freighters I've seen in my life."

Yuffie had pulled a night vision visor out and was busy fiddling with the zoom settings on it. "Let's see if we can get a close up look at--aha! I can see it now…some people are unloading things from the boat…boxes…a…body? Is that…it is! Guys, this is the boat! They're carrying a girl strapped to a stretcher--I'm pretty sure it's the teenager who disappeared from Edge. Kinda hard to tell, but--uh-oh!" She whirled. "Cid, move us away now, they've--"

Before Yuffie could finish speaking, there was a sudden explosion on the starboard side of the ship, throwing them all sideways. Cloud caught himself on a computer console. Cid was cursing as he quickly pulled the Shera up and away from the ocean base. "Don't think they hit much of anything!"

"We need to get down there," Cloud said. "Now." It wasn't like they could wait for reinforcements--and even if they could, they still didn't know who in the WRO had connections to this coalition. At that moment, it was them or nothing.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyone see where they're launching explosives from?" Cid asked.

"They have launchers on the ground. Looked like they had them stationed around the building, though--I think if we can come down from on top, where the helicopter pad is, we can get off there," Yuffie said. "Right now the launchers are facing outward; it'll take them a minute to realign them to face us if we come straight down from the top of their building."

"On it. Reeve, call that pilot o' yours and tell him to stay way back." Cid shouted out for one of the crewmen he'd brought on board, and the man came running in. "You're gonna take over. I've got a battle to fight. Soon as I get us in position, you take us straight down; we're gonna jump out the hatch onto the roof. Everyone, down to the cargo hold!"

Once they were in the cargo hold, Cid opened the hatch as the airship dropped. There were already armored soldiers running onto the roof, aiming guns at them as they jumped out of the airship. Cloud landed lightly on the roof, main blade and hollow blade in hand, immediately swinging, blocking gunfire. As the Shera lifted off into the sky again, the loud noise of ammo being fired from Barret's gunarm was resonating by his ear, and Red XIII darted forward into the fray. Yuffie's shuriken whizzed through the air, slamming into one man's helmet and knocking him sideways into one of his companions, and Tifa slid in, kicking both of them off their feet. A flash of red cape in Cloud's peripheral vision alerted him to Vincent circling around, firing his own weapon.

Cid reached the armored men at the same moment Cloud did and together, under the cover of their companions, they swathed a path through to the door leading down into the building. These people were obviously well-trained, capable fighters, but they just couldn't match the seven former AVALANCHE members. They were swiftly dispatched, except for the last one, because Barret snatched him off the ground, holding him by the neck. "Who the hell you work for?" he demanded. "Who's in charge here?"

The man was choking underneath his helmet; Cloud could only see half his face, but it was swiftly turning red. Barret loosened his hold just slightly and the man gasped for air.

"Who?" Barret thundered.

"T-Tharin Karnek," the man gasped.

The name wasn't familiar to Cloud, but Yuffie gasped. "Karnek? That no good, sorry, sneaky, underhanded--is he here?"

"Y-yes! Lab--moving experiments--"

"How many soldiers are here? How many people guarding this place?" Cloud demanded.

"Only--about--thirty," the man said between strangled breaths.

Barret tossed the man to the side. "Let's go."

Tifa spoke in a calm, clipped voice which Cloud recognized as her being in the height of battle mode. "Who's this Karnek?"

"He's the head of the research department at the WRO!" Yuffie said angrily. "He was studying the monster bodies right along with Prof Dorkus--come to think of it, he was probably making sure Dorne stayed quiet! He's got enough money as it is--he has friends with deep pockets. Deep enough for a place like this!" She pressed her fingers to the transmitter Reeve had given her. "Are you hearing this, Reeve? Who knows where else he got his dirty hands in the WRO?"

Inside the building, an alarm was blaring. They were faced dark, branching hallways, lit up only by the flashing of red emergency lights that were going off with the alarm. Something didn't seem right. If the man Barret had questioned hadn't been lying, then only half the soldiers present had been sent to fight them. Why would they send a rush of fighters and then nothing? Maybe they hadn't realized who they would be facing--or maybe the rest of the soldiers were all guarding the "experiments" or this Karnek.

Cloud glanced at his team. "We'll split into two groups." It would be best to have long range attackers and short range attackers together. "Barret, Yuffie, Cid, Red--head left. Tifa, Vincent, and I will head right. If we can secure this place or get Karnek, we will, but our objective is to find our missing people."

They split into two groups and Cloud moved quickly down the hallway to the right with Tifa and Vincent following silently. The hallways were all dimly lit and branched into other hallways. With every step he took, Cloud was convinced something was wrong--wrong in a different sense than the fact that they were walking through a secret base.

Where was everyone? Soldiers, scientists, researchers, anyone?

In the distance, back from the other direction, came the sudden sound of Barret's gun going off. Cloud paused in his step and glanced over his shoulder, but no sooner had his head started to turn than he caught sight of something rushing toward him.

Vincent's gun was pointed outward and Tifa had assumed a fighting stance as Cloud swung his main blade up and around, feeling the energy gathering through it as he slammed it toward the ground, releasing his Blade Beam attack. The shockwave of energy blasted the three monsters in front of them back in the air. These were normal monsters, though, ones he recognized--not the grotesque, mutilated ones like Dorne's creations--which made them easy to defeat. One of the monsters stirred feebly after being hit with Cloud's limit break until Vincent shot it.

Cloud wasn't sure where the monsters had come from, but as this seemed to be some sort of research facility, maybe they were there for experiments. They don't really think this is going to stop us, do they? Some normal soldiers and a few monsters?

He reminded himself that even thought the coalition had found out that Cloud and Tifa were involved by tracking Elia to Seventh Heaven, they probably hadn't expected this base to be attacked, especially by some of the world's most experienced fighters.

Cloud's phone rang. Keeping a wary eye out, he slung his hollow blade back into its harness, keeping a firm grip on his main blade, and answered the call from Yuffie.

"Cloud, we found a computer system here--the base is set to some self-destruct countdown and we can't stop it--it requires a gazillion passwords and we don't have time to try hacking into it; we only have five minutes and forty-three seconds before the place goes up in smoke and flames and all that stuff!"

"There has to be another way out," Cloud said, at the same moment that Cid's voice shouted loudly through Yuffie's phone, "Look for a submarine bay! If they ain't taking to the skies, that'd be the only other way outta a place like this."

That thought had already occurred to Cloud. The soldiers and monsters were a last resort, a distraction--something to try to keep them busy while the coalition disappeared--probably taking their human experiments with them. Maybe when the people here had realized their base had been found, they let loose the monsters and soldiers and had just fled as fast as they could.

"Five minutes," Cloud snapped. He ended the call and quickly set the timer on his phone for five minutes, motioning to Tifa and Vincent. "We're looking for a submarine bay. We have just over five minutes before this place self-destructs."

They picked up their pace, winding through the darkened hallways. They didn't run into any soldiers, but they came across several more monsters, which were easily dispatched. They passed a huge room with cages, tables, and equipment--a lab, maybe where these monsters had been kept. Just because the coalition was experimenting on humans didn't mean they weren't still experimenting on monsters, too.

Finally, when the timer on Cloud's phone read three minutes, thirty-two seconds, Tifa yanked open a door that had a stairway winding downward. Cloud's enhanced hearing picked up the faint sounds of noise from below. Vincent pulled out his own phone, dialed a number, and a moment later said, "The west side of the building. Hurry." He hung up and nodded at Cloud.

Cloud immediately plunged down the stairway, leaving the door open so that Barret's group would see it. Tifa and Vincent followed him down the stairs to the thick door at the bottom. There was definitely activity coming from the other side.

They slammed through the door and were immediately faced with gunfire. Vincent went through the door first, his cape swirling, drawing fire toward himself as he swiftly shot back with Cerberus. Cloud had half a second to take in the layout of the submarine bay before he was fighting. The remaining soldiers were all here, spread out and all facing the door--they'd been prepared to battle anyone who came through it. Behind them, a submarine was stationed in the water, and several people were busy around it. One man wearing a white lab coat was directing a stretcher with an unconscious body to be brought aboard. Though Cloud didn't see who was on it, he was willing to bet it was one of the abductees.

He swung behind one of the soldiers, cutting the gun out of his hand and using him as cover until he could jump at the next soldier. The man in the lab coat standing in front of the submarine realized they were out of time and was shouting something, hurrying into the open submarine after the stretcher.

Tifa was dragging a soldier forward and slamming him into the ground, then using the cover Vincent was providing to surge past several others, running toward the submarine. Cloud yanked out one of his side blades and threw it at a soldier peering out from behind a stack of crates--a soldier who was aiming his gun at Tifa. The man dropped to the ground with a scream. Cloud ran forward, snatched up his side blade, and kept moving.

Tifa reached the submarine door right as it was closing, and just as she stuck her foot in the crack to keep it open, Vincent and Cloud took down the last of the soldiers and raced toward her. She shoved the door completely open; by the time Cloud set foot in the submarine, Tifa had hold of the man in the white lab coat. She was behind him, his arms twisted behind his back, and facing her were two other people--a man and a woman, standing frozen beside the stretcher Cloud had seen.

Cloud could see now the unconscious figure on the stretcher, and relief and fury simultaneously slammed through him. It was Izzi. Pale, much thinner than he should have been, incredibly sickly looking, and with marks on his skin--either bruises or rashes, Cloud wasn't entirely certain. But his chest was rising and falling. He was alive.

For once, Cloud wasn't the one who was too late.

In a heartbeat, he had his sword at the throat of the man Tifa was restraining. "You're too late," he said, his voice low and quiet. "This ends now."

Chapter Text

The bar was closed when Cloud came home from his deliveries, the clean dishes stacked in the dish drainer to dry. Tifa was sitting at the corner booth, and judging from the ledger opened in front of her, she had been going over the finances--but she was sound asleep at the table, her head resting on one arm.

Cloud walked quietly over to the corner, looking down at her for a long moment before reaching out and brushing her hair out of her face. Her eyes opened and she slowly straightened, looking up at him in a dazed, sleepy way before a smile lit up her face. "Hi." She stretched and pushed herself to her feet. The side of her face had an imprint of the ledger on it, and Cloud's lips twitched.

"Hi." He pulled Tifa close as she slid her arms around him and breathed a tired sigh. "Long day?"

"Mm." Tifa's arms tightened a little.

" Bad day?"

"Just kind of crazy," Tifa mumbled. "Denzel had Aria and Izzi over and Marlene had Kiri and Suki, which was fine--they rotated who helped in the bar. But some of the customers were just really unruly and that upset some of the regulars. I had to break up some fights. I'm just worn out."

And it had only been two days since Marlene had fully recovered from her illness. He knew that neither he nor Tifa had slept much while she was sick. "You should go to bed."

"Mm." Tifa turned her face into his neck.

Frowning, Cloud leaned back slightly, causing Tifa to lift her head and look at him. He put his wrist against her forehead as he had seen her do so many times with Marlene. "Tifa, you're really hot." He slipped his hand behind her neck and felt the skin on her back.

Tifa frowned a little and pressed one hand to her own cheek, one to Cloud's. Even her hand was too warm. "I…ugh." She sighed. "I guess I caught Marlene's cold. Hers started out as a fever."

Cloud's mouth pinched into a worried line. "Tifa--"

"I'll be okay. Maybe I won't get as bad as Marlene did. I can still run the bar--"

"Tifa." Cloud put gentle hands on her shoulders. "You need rest. Just rest." There was that worry rising up in him again, a worry that he knew wouldn't pass until Tifa's illness did, however long that took.

Her eyes--glazed with fever, he realized now, and not just sleep--blinked at him and she nodded. "Yeah…you're right." She rubbed her temples. "I hate getting sick. It makes me feel so useless."

"You're never useless, Tifa."

He made sure she got into bed before taking a shower, and when he went to lie down next to her, she rolled over into him. Her body heat seeped through her clothes and his, but she only wriggled closer, wincing slightly in discomfort. He put a gentle arm around her and smoothed back her hair, pressing a kiss to her hot forehead.

A faint smile crossed her face. "Love you, too," she murmured.

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Closing In

Tifa released the man's arms as soon as Cloud put a sword to his throat, darting over to Izzi on the stretcher. The woman flanking the stretcher actually took a step backward as Tifa approached, but the man held his ground, hovering next to Izzi. If Tifa hadn't already been furious, that would have set her off, but all it did was add to her anger. These people were obviously not fighters, which meant they were involved in the research--in the experiments. In whatever had happened that had made Izzi look like that.

Tifa resisted the urge to punch them right into the bulkhead. She glared at the two and demanded, "Is he drugged? Is that why he's unconscious?"

Before they could answer, Yuffie's familiar voice complained, "Looks like you guys had all the fun."

Tifa glanced at the door of the submarine, where the other half of their team had arrived. The small space was already crammed; if anyone else came into this small room, she was going to have trouble moving to fight if it came down to that.

"Karnek!" Yuffie advanced on the man behind Cloud's sword, shaking her shuriken at him. "You sneaky, dirty--"

"Forget that; we're running outta time!" Cid pushed past all of them. "What say we commandeer this thing? It's already up and runnin'--Barret, shut that hatch; we gotta hightail it out of here." His gaze lingered on Izzi. "They all here?"

Cloud glared at Karnek. "Are all the people you took here?"

"Yes!" the woman next to Izzi's stretcher burst out. She looked to be almost in tears, her eyes wide with fright. "R-right there! E-except the one who died! W-we lost one and--and--" She pointed through the door where she and her companion had been carrying Izzi's stretcher. "The others are okay; th-they're just drugged!"

"'Okay?'" Tifa echoed incredulously. "You call this okay?" She clenched her hands into fists and took a step forward. The woman flinched and even the man beside her finally leaned backwards a little.

A voice spoke over an intercom. "All systems go, we show all hatches sealed--prepare for immediate departure."

Tifa shoved past her and looked into the tiny room beyond. Sure enough, there were stretchers crammed together, leaving barely any space to maneuver. A quick look at all of the bodies on the stretchers showed Tifa instantly who had died. She had stared at the poster of their faces everyday for weeks. Cavin, the little boy from Kalm, was nowhere to be seen.

Clenching her hands into fists, she nodded at Cid. "They're here."

"Good. We're taking over." Cid pointed his spear at the tremulous woman beside Izzi's stretcher. "There more soldiers in here?"

"N-n-no! Just--just scientists!" she gasped.

"Dangerous in a different way," Cloud said in a hard voice. "Let's get this place secure."

Yuffie took charge of Karnek, and Cloud forced the other researchers out into a narrow corridor. He and the rest of the team headed off through the submarine to round up the researchers on board, leaving behind Yuffie, who was tying up Karnek, and Tifa, who was busy looking over the people on stretchers.

Tifa could hear Yuffie ranting at Karnek and simultaneously talking to Reeve on the other end of her transmitter. She spat out words that usually came out of Cid's mouth, followed by, "No, not you, Reeve. Hey, how much time left--thirty-one seconds till that base self-destructs!" she called to Tifa.

All of the missing--now found--people were in the same sort of state as Izzi. Thin, pale, with bruises or rashes. Rady, the little girl from Nibelheim, had an oxygen mask over her face and was sucking in sharp, painful sounding breaths. Her face was covered in purple splotches. Tifa very gently touched her forehead with the tips of her fingers and whispered, "We're going to get you to a hospital, okay? Hang in there."

She stepped back into the room where Yuffie was looking down at Izzi and glaring at Karnek, who was now thoroughly tied up on the ground. "You're one sick freak," she spat at him. "And--what?" She paused, undoubtedly listening to Reeve, and nodding. "You better hope your soldiers got out. Your base just exploded."

"Death is a risk they willingly signed on for," Karnek said calmly. He managed to sound extremely dignified for someone who was bound and lying on the floor.

"Well, these people sure as hell didn't willingly sign on for it." Yuffie waved her hand at Izzi.

"You people are making a grave mistake," Karnek replied.

Tifa carefully took Izzi's hand, which had a large mark on it--this one she was fairly certain was a bruise, because on closer inspection, it looked like he'd been stuck with a needle there. Numerous times. "I think you're the one who made a mistake," she said coldly. "A lot of them."

"My vision goes beyond the present," Karnek said. "How long before this planet is destroyed because we could not come up with a way to rid ourselves of Jenova cells? The people we took are still carriers of the cells, and that will be added to the Lifestream if we cannot change it. We're doing not only what's best for them, but for future generations--for our very planet."

Tifa's eyes narrowed and she glared at the man. "We don't need Jenova cells to destroy us if we have people like you around."

:--:--:--:--:

The sun was well up by the time the submarine docked in Junon. Still unsure of who he could trust within the WRO, Reeve had contacted someone outside of the WRO--Rufus Shinra--to aid them. Cloud wasn't exactly thrilled to see the Turks waiting for them upon arriving in Junon, but right now he had to take what help he could. They took over responsibility of the submarine and all the researchers that were locked in the crew's quarters. There hadn't been a whole lot of scientists on board the submarine; apparently most of them had still been on the freighter and they had tried to escape in it when they realized their base had been found. The pilot of Reeve's personal airship had followed the boat, and they had tried to dock near Wutai--a quick call to Yuffie's father had given them all the help they needed to stop them from fleeing.

Most of the researchers on the submarine had been closed-mouthed and obviously felt completely justified in the experiments they had been doing. One man, however, had been willing to answer questions--the same man, Cloud learned, that had helped Elia escape. The first thing he did was to ask if Elia had made it to safety, and if that was how they had found the ocean base. It was this man who explained that the coalition had only just finished setting up the ocean base, and had moved some monsters and a few researchers there to begin work. When Elia disappeared from the freighter, no one had known how she escaped--her rescuer had been able to get her off without being caught. The coalition had already been preparing to move their precious human experiments to their new base anyway, and had only been stopping at Junon to get supplies to take there. "They had just finished moving their hired guards to the base in preparation for our arrival," the man said.

"Why did you help Elia escape?" Cloud asked the man. "Why not just leave and give Reeve the information yourself?"

"They were going to begin experiments on her today," the researcher explained. "Well, not her--they still had to wait another month until the injection she got for her pregnancy wore off before they could really get to work on her with any chance for success--but they had decided they could potentially begin experimentation on her fetus." He shook his head. "The point is, I had to get her away. I couldn't sit by anymore. I know--I know I'm going to get locked away, probably for the rest of my life. I deserve it," he said bitterly. "This wasn't what I expected. That boy dying--it's not what I signed on for. The point of removing Jenova cells is to preserve life, not end it."

"Do you know who in your group besides this Karnek has connections to the WRO?" Nanaki asked the man.

He shook his head. "Karnek's the big shot. He had some people in other departments covering for him and giving him help, but I don't know who they are. I don't even know if they really knew what we were doing." He stared down at his hands. "They should be okay now--the test subje…I mean, the people we took. They were getting daily injections of a variant on something Professor Dorne had created for tests on monsters--something to try to break down and eliminate the inactive Jenova cells. Except it was attacking their own cells and causing strain on the heart and lungs, and getting worse with each injection. Without the injections, their bodies should be able to begin to heal. It might take some time before they're completely better. The girl from Nibelheim--"

"Rady," Cloud said, his eyes hard. These were actual people, with names and families and lives.

The researcher closed his eyes and nodded slowly before opening them again. "Rady. She's having trouble breathing. That was the first major symptom we noticed before the boy--" He stopped at the look on Cloud's face, swallowed, and said, "Cavin. Before Cavin died. We thought if we adjusted the way we..." He trailed off and shook his head. "They'll all need time, but they should recover now that they're not getting injections."

That was somewhat reassuring, even though Cloud still didn't trust this scientist. Doing one good thing by making sure a pregnant woman didn't get experimented on certainly didn't absolve him of his involvement in human experimentation, and it wasn't guaranteed that he wasn't just lying through his teeth.

That researcher was taken into custody with all of the rest of the coalition scientists. Barret, Red, Vincent, and Yuffie stayed behind to assist the Turks. Cid nabbed one of the WRO airships in Junon and took it back to Rocket Town to get Marlene and Denzel, and to collect Elia so he could bring her to the hospital in Edge.

Cloud and Tifa were the ones who accompanied Izzi and the other victims of the coalition's experiments back to the hospital in Edge. They had obviously been heavily sedated, because none of them woke up at all on the way there, and it made Cloud wonder how often they'd actually been conscious in the past weeks. For their sakes, he really hoped they had been unaware of what had been happening to them. As unaware as they could be, at least.

The best moment of the whole experience was calling Denzel and telling him that Izzi had been found. The shout on the other end of the phone was loud enough that Cloud had to pull it away from his ear. "Is he okay? Can he talk?"

"He's unconscious right now," Cloud told Denzel, "and he's pretty sick. We're taking him to the hospital. Cid's coming to get you."

"But he's alive? I have to call Aria! Can you call Ms. Burke at the home and tell her? Is there anything I can do?"

Cloud waited until Denzel's questions ran out, and then Denzel fell very quiet. After a moment of silence, he said, "Thanks, Cloud."

From the sound of his voice, Cloud suspected Denzel might have been crying, but he didn't say anything except, "We'll see you soon, Denzel."

When they finally got to the hospital in Edge, Cloud and Tifa waited while the doctors took charge of the drugged patients. They weren't the only ones waiting--there were several others who had been called down to the hospital. Cira Burke had come down to the hospital for Izzi, and the families of the others who had disappeared had been notified, and were also waiting for news on their loved ones. Cloud couldn't help but think of Cavin from Kalm, whose family would have received the news that he was dead.

So many lives lost in this. There was still so much to sort out--who was involved at the WRO, exactly what the coalition had done to their human test subjects. There would be trials for the wayward scientists…it was definitely going to take a long time to work through it all. It was enough to make Cloud want to close his eyes and just not wake up until it was over.

Or maybe he was just thinking like that because he hadn't slept in thirty-two hours. Had it really only been yesterday that he and Tifa had taken the kids and gone to Nibelheim? It seemed like ages had passed since then.

Despite his exhaustion, his eyes stayed open. Tifa's head drifted over onto his shoulder, her eyes closing now and then but always snapping open at the sounds in the waiting room. She woke up completely when Aria arrived, spotting them and calling their names. She was still in her wheelchair, even though her casts were off her legs, because her muscles were too weak for use just yet. One of the other kids from her home brought her, and Aria stayed near Cloud and Tifa, asking them as many questions about Izzi as Denzel had on the phone.

Finally, Shera arrived with Marlene and Denzel, and between the kids' talking and exclaiming, Shera explained that Cid had dropped them off and gone to help Reeve bring in the coalition currently being held in Wutai. Elia had been checked into the hospital.

"Thank you," Tifa said to Shera, nodding toward Denzel and Marlene.

Shera smiled and took the seat on the other side of Tifa. "Of course." She pressed her hand to her abdomen and winced a little.

"Are you okay?" Tifa asked.

"Just a bit nauseous, especially after the flight here," Shera said. "But nauseous for a good reason."

At least, Cloud thought, the doctors working to help women with Geostigma conceive hadn't been involved in this--with the exception of Dorne, but he was dead now. Dorne had made mistakes and he had done some stupid things, but he had also helped develop the immunoglobulin which would hopefully allow Shera and Elia and many other women to have kids. Would history remember him for his failures or his successes?

He glanced at Shera, her hands resting lightly over her stomach, and then over at the kids, who had suffered so much because of the monsters Dorne had created. Cloud had evidence of both the professor's successes and failures in his own life, and he honestly wasn't sure which one he would remember Dorne for--maybe both.

Finally, a doctor came in to tell them that their patients were stable enough for visitors. Denzel leapt to his feet and grabbed the handles of Aria's wheelchair. Cloud couldn't remember the last time he had seen the two of them so happy. He and Tifa waited with Marlene as Denzel and Aria accompanied Cira Burke to visit Izzi. They spent quite a while back there with him. Though they had been prepared by Tifa as to the state Izzi was in, when they came back out to the waiting room, Denzel and Aria both looked upset. "He was sleeping. The doctor said he opened his eyes earlier! But he's still pretty groggy," Aria said. "He looks so sick." Then she looked up at Denzel. "He'll get better, though."

Denzel nodded, his hands tightening on Aria's wheelchair. "He'll get better," he echoed.

Throughout the day, Cloud and Tifa got phone calls from their friends to get updates and keep them updated. Night had fallen by the time Cloud and Tifa took Denzel and Marlene home, with the promise to Denzel that he could return to the hospital first thing in the morning. They offered Shera a place to stay for the night until Cid returned to Edge, but she told them she was going to go visit with Elia. "She could use someone with her," Shera said quietly. "She's holding on by a thin thread right now."

There was still a huge hole in the street in front of Seventh Heaven where the grenade had exploded. Cloud and Tifa had the kids wait outside and looked thoroughly through Seventh Heaven to make sure things were indeed normal. Everything was in order, as normal as if they'd just come back from a family outing. It never ceased to seem strange that they could leave to fight a huge battle and then come back to a home with pictures on the walls and toys in kids' bedrooms. There was just something that should have been surreal about it, but somehow wasn't. It was just the life that Cloud was used to--even when he went out on deliveries, he never knew when he might run into a monster or other trouble on the road.

The kids got ready for bed quickly, but instead of sleeping they both ended up in Marlene's room, talking to each other. Cloud and Tifa let them be and collapsed into their own bed.

"Has it really only been one day?" Tifa groaned. She held up her hands; her arms were dirty and bore a few small scratches; there was dirt and grime on her clothes, and Cloud was sure that he looked the same. They were both just too tired to care.

"Mm." Cloud wrapped his arms around Tifa as she rolled over, half-flopping on top of him and resting her head on his chest.

"It's never easy, is it?" Tifa murmured.

"What isn't?"

"Life." She yawned and wriggled a little to get more comfortable. "At least when it's us. We always seem to get caught in the middle of things."

"Yeah." He paused, looking down at the top of her head. "Are you okay?"

Tifa lifted her head, her eyes red with exhaustion. "Yes. This fight--well, it was no Sephiroth." She paused as sudden laughter came from Marlene's room. "It'll still take some time."

He knew what she meant. There was still a big, tangled mess that would have to be unraveled in the WRO. The missing people, though returned, had a ways to go before they had recovered.

And Tifa herself was still recovering herself--her mind was still healing, slowly, but it was getting there. There were definitely still memories lacking. It might take her weeks or months, or maybe even years before she had them back again--and even then, there might be memories she never got back.

"But we're okay," she said softly, resting her head on his chest once more. She absently fiddled with the collar on his shirt. "It's worth it. Even…even after everything." Her fingers stilled on his collar and she lifted her head again. "Some things are worth fighting for."

She smiled at him, her eyes shining with that light that was so very familiar to him, that was for him, for them. Then she sank against him again and breathed a long sigh of release. He held her more tightly and his eyes finally began to drift closed. Another burst of laughter from Marlene's room brought a faint smile to his face.

Yeah.

Some things are always worth fighting for.

Chapter Text

Three days after Tifa fell ill, complete with a cough and stuffy nose to go with her fever, Denzel came home sick from school. Cloud was resigned at that point that this damn virus seemed to be determined to make the rounds through his family, sparing him only because of the Mako flowing through his body.

Marlene helped Cloud bring juices and cool cloths to Tifa and Denzel. Trying to get Tifa to rest when she was sick was like trying to restrain a red dragon and train it to dance. She wanted to take care of Denzel, wanted to run the bar, wanted to do dishes or help with whatever else needed to be done around the house. The only thing that kept her off her feet was Cloud pointing out that she was the one who told the kids they'd get better more quickly if they rested.

Fortunately, neither Tifa nor Denzel got nearly as sick as Marlene had, and before long they had both recovered. Only then did their lives really resume normally. It was a relief to again sit at the bar counter, mapping out the next day's routes while Tifa served alcohol to the few patrons, knowing that his family was healthy again.

Tifa's customers were having a conversation about how it would probably snow sometime soon. One old guy said he could "feel it in his bones." Cloud wouldn't have been surprised; it hadn't snowed in Edge yet but it was certainly cold enough for it. Denzel was sitting at a corner table, doing his homework, while Marlene cleared the dishes off one of the other tables, pausing to gush over a baby sleeping contentedly in his mother's lap.

As family friendly as Seventh Heaven was, it had been more difficult lately when someone brought in a baby or a toddler. Tifa still didn't say anything, but Cloud could see the increased glimpses of longing in her eyes. He couldn't ignore it, couldn't pretend not to see it--and really, he didn't know that he wanted to ignore it even if he could have. He had been thinking about it more and more often, but he still hadn't said anything to Tifa. He was on the brink of it; he just needed something to push him over the edge.

Hell, maybe he just needed to jump.

Denzel leaned back in his seat. "Done!" He stuffed the papers he'd been working on into his rucksack and moved over to sit at the counter next to Cloud. "Where are you going tomorrow?" He peered at the maps and his eyes lit up. "You're going to Fort Condor? I still haven't ever been there."

Cloud glanced at him. "You can come on deliveries with me on Saturday."

Tifa poured one of her customers a refill. "Just three more days of school this week," she told Denzel.

"You got good, sensible folks, making sure you're gettin' your schoolin'," one of the customers said.

Denzel's eyes twinkled as he glanced between Cloud and Tifa. "Yeah, they are pretty smart."

Cloud folded up his maps and stood, ruffling Denzel's hair as he walked by him. As he climbed the stairs to his office, he heard Tifa tell both kids it was time to get ready for bed.

'Good, sensible folks.' Cloud almost wanted to laugh. He had been raising Denzel and Marlene for a long time now and he still felt like he had no idea how to be anyone's father. With someone like him raising kids, it seemed more likely that he would end up screwing them up, but somehow…somehow they were learning to make good decisions. They were learning from him, not just from Tifa. With every passing day, he was discovering that he really did have advice that might help them--that maybe in all of his own screw ups, there were lessons to be learned. Not just for him, but for the kids…so that maybe they could learn from his mistakes and avoid some of the pitfalls he had tripped into headfirst.

Besides, it worked both ways. Marlene and Denzel taught him things all the time--about life, about happiness, about family--everything that really mattered.

"See you tomorrow, Cloud," Denzel called into Cloud's office.

Cloud smiled at him. That was another thing the kids had helped him with--that the kids and Tifa had helped him with. Teaching him how to smile more often. "Tomorrow, Denzel."

Marlene didn't stop at the door, but bounded into the room and flung her arms around Cloud. "Good night, Cloud!" She planted a quick kiss on his cheek and skipped out of his office as cheerfully as she'd entered.

"'Night, Marlene." There was a faint smile still on his face as he finished organizing what he needed for the next day's deliveries.

:--:--:--:--:

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Suspended Reality

Cloud awoke slowly to Edge's dull gray light filtering through the bedroom windows, the comforting warmth of Tifa's body beside him. He shifted slightly and her eyes snapped open. She gazed at him for a moment, then gave him a sleepy, content smile. "Happy anniversary," she whispered.

He returned her smile and tugged her closer, burying his face in her hair and mumbling, "Happy anniversary."

One year. A year of marriage, and he could say that Tifa probably remembered more of it now than was still forgotten, and she continued to remember more each day.

Cloud could hear voices downstairs--Marlene and Denzel's, but there were more than that. Other kids' voices. He could distinguish Aria's clear voice, and a laugh that sounded like Marlene's friend Suki. Though he didn't hear Izzi, he was probably there too--he was just the quietest of the bunch. He'd been even more quiet than usual in the two and a half weeks since his rescue from the hands of the coalition. He had spent the first nine days in the hospital, slowly recovering from the weeks of experimentation done on him, but since his release, he had been with Denzel and Aria everyday. They weren't letting him out of their sight. Izzi's body was still weak and he had to stop and rest a lot, but he was getting there. His emotional trauma was going to take a lot longer to heal, but Cloud had talked to him a few times and thought that might help him. He knew first hand what it was like to be treated as a science experiment.

Tifa yawned and burrowed deeper under the covers. She'd been asleep when he came home from the deliveries. Cloud knew she had spent the previous day filling out last minute paperwork for Reeve while running the bar. The coalition's trials were to begin today, and Cloud and Tifa were helping as much as they could to ensure that the people responsible for this mess wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again. It was hard enough on Reeve trying to sort out who in the WRO was culpable and who wasn't, and so he had been willingly taking any help Cloud and Tifa could give him.

There was a loud clanging crash from downstairs. Cloud and Tifa both lifted their heads and exchanged glances. "That sounds like it came from the kitchen," Tifa said.

"Guess we should see what they're up to." Cloud swung out of bed and tugged on a shirt while Tifa stood and stretched.

She opened the bedroom door and grimaced slightly. Cloud could smell coffee mixed with something else cooking--something perhaps slightly burnt. He followed Tifa downstairs, where they found Marlene and Suki in the kitchen, making pancakes. Or attempting to make pancakes; there was batter all over the counter, the stove, and both girls' clothes.

Marlene spotted them as Suki dropped a glob of clumpy batter into the pan. "You're not supposed to be in here!" she said, waving frantically at Cloud and Tifa to get them out. "We're making breakfast for you!" Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "And happy anniversary!"

Suki grinned and waved at them with the spatula in her hand. "Yeah, happy anniversary!"

"Thank you." Tifa exchanged glances with Cloud, a hint of a smile lingering on her face.

Marlene made shooing motions again. Amused and wondering exactly how edible these pancakes would be, he and Tifa stepped out of the kitchen and followed the other voices into the bar. Denzel was standing on one of the booths, taping a colored streamer to the wall, while Izzi balanced on a chair across the room with the other end of the streamer. Aria was perched on a barstool, the crutches she was now using to help her strengthen her legs propped against the counter. She was blowing up balloons; there were already a bunch of them sitting on the counter or bobbing gently on the floor around her. She noticed Cloud and Tifa first and beamed at them. "Happy anniversary!"

Denzel turned quickly. "Happy anniversary--but we're not finished decorating yet."

"I think we're getting kicked out again," Tifa said to Cloud, her eyes twinkling.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Aria said primly, popping another balloon into her mouth and blowing into it.

"Coffee's ready!" Marlene called from the kitchen.

Deciding to leave the kids alone to finish their "surprise" projects, Cloud got two cups of the coffee, and he and Tifa took them outside, sitting together on the front steps. The street outside the bar had been repaired; the only evidence of the explosion was where the road had a slightly different color cement than the rest of the street around it. A passerby waved to them and called a greeting, and they waved back. They could still hear the noises of the kids inside--noises that Cloud had long grown accustomed to hearing. There were still some voices that missing, ones that he would never hear again, and those losses were felt keenly at times. But there was still laughter in the midst of the sorrow. Still healing in the pain.

"They sound like they're having fun," Tifa said, lifting her coffee to her lips. She lowered it just as quickly and set it on the step beside her.

"Yeah."

Tifa had something on her mind; Cloud could tell by the way she was playing with her wedding ring. He nudged her shoulder with his own. "You okay?"

A short nod. "I talked to Shera yesterday."

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She had another doctor appointment for her second injection. She said she's doing really well. I think it helps her to know that Elia's in the same situation, and she's over six months pregnant now."

After being released from the hospital, Elia Garrens had chosen to get an apartment in Edge so she could be right next to the hospital. She hadn't wanted to go back to Mideel with her grandfather being dead. At least she'd had some closure, as they had found out that the coalition had indeed had Dorne killed. Cloud had seen Elia only once in the past couple weeks, but she did seem to be doing better than she had when they'd first met her.

"Shera said she got to hear the baby's heartbeat," Tifa said.

"I didn't know you could hear it this early."

"Me, neither. Though there are a lot I don't know about pregnancy." Tifa took a deep breath and stopped fiddling with her ring, clasping her hands together in her lap. "I guess that's something I'll learn as I go."

It took a few seconds for the full impact of those words to sink in, and then Cloud's eyes snapped over to her face. She was biting her lip and looking at him nervously, but there was also a bright shimmering of anticipation in her eyes.

It took longer for Cloud to find his voice, and then all he could manage was a blank, "What?" A few more seconds passed. "You're--you're--" He wasn't sure he could even say it. Saying it would mean facing it and he didn't even know what to think.

Tifa said it for him, her voice soft. "I'm pregnant, Cloud."

He couldn’t move, his eyes locked on her face. He was suspended in a strange sort of moment that didn't quite feel real.

A baby…Tifa…a baby…

He set down his coffee as it all hit, a rush of fear and worry intermingled with a foreign sense of wonder.

"Cloud?" Tifa took his hand and held it tightly.

"I…"

The front door opened and Denzel poked his head out. "Marlene says breakfast is ready!"

The door closed again and Cloud looked back at Tifa, at the worry in her eyes now--the worry for him that was clouding up the new brightness that had been in her gaze moments earlier. "When--how far along--?"

"Not long. I think I conceived about three weeks ago."

Cloud stared at her. "You mean you were pregnant when we raided the coalition's base?"

"Only just. I wasn't far enough along to be able to tell." She obviously saw his stricken expression. "Cloud, I'm fine."

"You'll need to see a doctor! And..." There was so much to do. So much to think about. There was so much that could go wrong…so much that could happen in the upcoming months. How would Tifa run the bar? How would--

Cloud deliberately cut short that train of thought. Hadn't he learned anything? He thought back on everything he and Tifa had come through, to all the times in the past when he had tried to avoid anything that had a potential for pain. If he hadn't learned to let go and move forward, he would have lost out on so many good things in his life.

One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. How many times had he told himself this? How many times had Tifa told him this? He could let his fears overwhelm him, or he could work to overcome these fears and keep moving.

Who the hell was he kidding? He was terrified. But there was an excitement somewhere in there, too, an anticipation for what this meant.

Besides, he thought rather numbly, before Tifa's amnesia he really had been almost ready for this. As ready as he had thought he could be.

He silently reached up and touched Tifa's face, brushing his thumb over her cheek. She relaxed and leaned into him, winding her arms tightly around him. He was smiling when he pulled back--a rather dazed sort of smile, he suspected, but a genuine one.

The door opened again and Marlene was there this time. "Breakfast is getting cold!"

"We'll be right in, sweetie. Thank you," Tifa said. When the door shut, she whispered to Cloud, "I'm not sure how much I can eat right now. I'm kind of queasy just smelling the food."

Cloud stood and offered her a hand. She took it and rose to her feet, pausing to grab her untouched cup of coffee. "I think the kids will understand if you tell them why." He knew they'd be more than understanding--they'd be ecstatic.

A brilliant smile spread across Tifa's face and she nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure they will." She kissed him and then immediately drew back. "You taste like coffee." For a moment, he was afraid she was going to be sick, but she just took a deep breath. "I think this is going to take some getting used to."

"Just a little," Cloud said wryly.

Tifa laughed, tracing a hand down his face. "I love you, Cloud."

He pulled her back into his arms and held her close again. He knew that part of his life was changing right then and there, that everything was going to be different from this moment forward. But he wasn't alone. "I love you, Tifa."

Chapter Text

They spent a quiet day at home on their next day off. A lot of times on Thursdays, Cloud and Tifa would wait until the kids came home from school and had finished their homework, and then they would go out and do something as a family, but there were always days where they opted to stay home. This particular day had been one of those freezing, gloomy days that had made Tifa just want to curl up on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee. It had been a long couple of weeks anyway, what with the illnesses that had bounced around.

It was just her and Cloud until the kids came home from school, and she had enjoyed having time to just spend with him. They got a couple of projects done around the house; Tifa finally had time to frame some recent pictures. There was one taken from their recent trip to Costa del Sol, with Cloud half-buried in sand, and this one she placed on her dresser. The others she hung in the stairwell.

When the kids came tromping in from school, Marlene shivered and shut the door against the cold outside. "Are we going somewhere?"

"No, I think we'll stay home today," Tifa replied.

"I have a lot of homework," Denzel said glumly. "I have to put together a science project tonight. Our teacher didn't give us any time at all to work on it; she just wants to see what we can come up with on short notice."

"I don't have any homework!" Marlene said happily.

"You don't have to rub it in," Denzel grumbled.

"Do you have any ideas for what you want to do for a project?" Cloud asked Denzel.

They spent the afternoon in the living room, Denzel working on his science project and Marlene doing a gigantic floor puzzle. Cloud and Tifa helped with the puzzle or offered advice to Denzel if he asked until Tifa went to make dinner. After they ate, Cloud brought his delivery slips and maps down to the counter to sort through them, and Denzel moved his science project out to the bar. "Tifa, will you help me finish my puzzle?" Marlene asked as Tifa stacked the dirty dishes beside the sink.

The dishes could wait. "I'd love to."

It took a while to finish Marlene's puzzle, and when it was put together in all of its many-pieced splendor, Marlene declared, "Perfect!" and then promptly began disassembling it to put it away. Tifa helped her clean it up, and then went out to wash the dishes. She was halfway through them when Marlene gave a sudden shout from the bar window. "It's snowing!"

Denzel ran over next to Marlene, and Tifa quickly dried her hands and went to join the kids at the window. It hadn't snowed in Edge since last winter, and there was always something so magical about the snow--especially the first snowfall, when the ground and roofs were first coated with white. Even though she knew it was polluted and dirty, it looked clean and lovely and sparkled under the lights left shining in the evening. She looked out the window over Marlene and Denzel's shoulders, up at the snowflakes dancing through the light from the building across the street, a smile curving on her lips.

Marlene's fingertips grazed the window. "I hope it stays on the ground so we can play in it tomorrow!"

Denzel looked at Tifa hopefully. "Maybe we'll get to stay home from school."

Tifa's smile became wry, and she looked out at the snowfall for another moment before turning to go back to the dishes. "School's only two blocks away. I don't think we'll get so much snow that you can't walk two blocks."

"Yeah, I guess," Denzel said with a resigned sigh.

Tifa also hoped the snow stayed for a day or two, for different reasons than the kids. There were some painful memories about snow, because it always made her think of Nibelheim. At the same time, though, there was something cleansing about it. When she was a little girl, her mother had once told her that the snow had to come so all of the plants and trees could have a chance to sleep. "Winter gives them the rest they need so they can wake up in the spring," her mother had said.

Through her life, Tifa had come to understand a lot more than her mother had said. The winter, the snow, had become such a metaphor for her own life. There were periods of time where she felt so frozen, so numb, times when she had lost so much and didn't know what she was doing or she was struggling to find her own feet. There were times of winter in her life, but whenever she came out of them, she realized that they had been there to help her learn how to breathe again.

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Epilogue - Full Circle

"Tifa?"

It took Tifa a moment to realize that she had paused in the middle of reaching for a cup on the shelf. Her fingers were resting on the cool glass, and she quickly grasped it in her hand and turned to see Marlene watching her with a small frown on her face.

Tifa smiled. "Sorry, Marlene. What were you saying?"

Marlene set an empty tray on the counter and hopped up onto the barstool beside one of Tifa's customers. The customer was talking animatedly to someone next to him and didn't pay any attention to Marlene as she said, "I said it's snowing, and then you kind of froze."

"I was remembering." Tifa poured some Corel wine into the glass she had retrieved and took it to a patron at the end of the counter before returning to Marlene. Out the windows, she could see the snow falling.

Marlene tilted her head to the side. "Remembering something new?"

"Yes." It didn't happen very often at all these days. It had been two years since Tifa had woken up in the hospital with amnesia, and most of her memories had returned within the first year. Still, every once in a while, she would find herself pulling up some memory that she hadn't yet recalled. She wondered if it would just be like that for the rest of her life. But wasn't that how it was even with people who had never had amnesia? Weren't there memories that they hadn't thought about for a long time, and suddenly something happened to trigger the memory?

"That's great!" Marlene said. "What was it?"

"I remembered the night before I got amnesia. It was snowing."

Marlene's smile turned wistful and a little sad, and she nodded slowly. "It was." She reached over the counter and put her hand on Tifa's. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just fine." Tifa squeezed her hand reassuringly and then picked up the empty tray Marlene had set down. "Are we all set for everyone right now?"

Marlene's eyes swept the bar. "The corner booth's probably going to need more juice."

Tifa glanced over at the table, where a family with three small kids was sitting. The youngest child was seated in one of Tifa's two highchairs, happily smearing his dinner all over his face. "I'll grab some more juice," she said with a laugh. "Have you finished your homework yet?"

"Well…"

"I'll take that as a no. Thank you for helping with the dinner rush. Why don't you grab some food for yourself and you can do your homework after you eat?" Tifa glanced at the clock. "Cloud should be back soon."

"But the juice--"

"I'll take care of it. Dinner, Marlene."

"All right." Marlene slipped around the counter to help herself to some food, and Tifa grabbed some more juice to take over to the corner booth.

She greeted the customers--she didn't recognize them, and quickly found out they were visiting friends. Seventh Heaven had been recommended as the place of choice for dinner in Edge. One of the children started tugging on her mother's arm and whispered loudly, "Look at her tummy! Does she have a baby in there?"

Tifa smiled at the child. "Yes, I do." She finished pouring the juice, and then set the rest of it on the table so the family could help themselves to it.

"Thank you," the woman at the table said. "Is this your first?" she asked, with a nod to the small swell of Tifa's stomach.

"No." Tifa nodded at Marlene, who was now sitting at the counter with her own meal, chatting with one of the regulars. "She's mine, and my other two are out with my husband right now." The familiar roar of a motorcycle caught her attention, and she said, "Actually, I think they're back. Enjoy your dinner. Let me know if you need anything else." She glanced around the bar briefly before stepping through to the hallway and opening the laundry room door and then the garage door.

Cloud was already parking Fenrir and cutting the engine. Directly behind him, fastened into a car seat, was their sixteen-month-old. She could just see his small nose poking out from the layers of jackets, blankets, and hats bundling him in his seat.

Denzel slid off the back of the bike and pulled off his helmet. "Did you see the snow, Tifa?" Having just turned thirteen, he was just as tall as Tifa now, and she still sometimes found it odd staring at him at her own height. It wouldn't be long before she was looking up at him.

"I did." Tifa nodded toward the door. "Dinner's ready. Why don't you go grab some?"

At the mention of food, Denzel vanished through the door toward the bar almost before she'd finished speaking.

Cloud smiled a greeting her way as he pulled off his goggles, shaking the snow out of his hair and unbuckling the car seat. "I guess this will be the last trip on Fenrir for Zack until spring," he said. He unwound the blankets from around their little boy's face, and then lifted him up out of the seat. He only ever took Zack on Fenrir if he was staying in Edge, but Tifa had a feeling that when their son was older he would take after both Cloud and Denzel in their love of motorcycle riding.

Zack wrapped his arms around Cloud's neck and yawned hugely before spotting Tifa. His bright blue eyes lit up and he let go of Cloud to hold out his arms to her. "Mama!"

Tifa took him from Cloud and carried him back inside while Cloud shut the garage door. She set him on top of the dryer and pulled off his hat, gloves, jacket and shoes. Cloud walked past her, squeezing her shoulder as he headed out into the bar. Tifa lifted Zack off the dryer and smoothed his dark hair out of his face. "Did you have fun with Daddy?" she asked, following Cloud back into the bar.

"Dada!" Zack exclaimed. "Bike!" He yawned again, still looking sleepy.

"You need some dinner before bed," Tifa told him.

"I'm done eating, Tifa; I can help." Marlene quickly ate her last two bites of food and jumped off the barstool, coming around the counter and holding her arms out. "Come on, Zack. Let's get some food!"

Zack willingly went to Marlene's arm, and she situated him in the other highchair. Tifa fixed him a small plate of food and passed it to Marlene.

Cloud came into the bar as one of the regular customers asked for a refill on his drink. As Tifa began mixing the drink, she asked Cloud, "Did you get the parts you needed?"

"Yeah. I should be able to fix the car tomorrow afternoon. Denzel's volunteered to help."

Denzel nodded, his mouth too full to actually say anything until he swallowed. "Izzi's gonna come--he wants to learn how to do this stuff, too."

"I've got a few deliveries in the morning, but I'll be home before the kids get back from school," Cloud said.

Tifa finished mixing the drink and carried it over to her regular, who grinned at her. "Thanks, Tifa. Though you know, you shouldn't be on your feet so much."

Tifa waved dismissively. "I still have four more months until this baby's due. You really expect me to stay off my feet for that long?" For her second pregnancy, she was having to get the same injections that Shera and Elia had had to get during their pregnancies, both of which had been successful.  The immunoglobulin they had been given had continued to improve so that it was now possible for parents with Geostigma to have children without hardly any complications.

He laughed. "Nah. I remember how you were when you were carrying little Zack over there. I don't think you would've been able to sit still if we'd paid you to."

"See? No need to worry. Besides, who would mix your drinks if I wasn't on my feet?"

"Me," Marlene called instantly from where she was scooping a spoonful of food into Zack's mouth.

The customer laughed at that and said, "You've got good kids."

"Yeah, I'm pretty fond of them myself," Tifa said with a wink at Denzel, who grinned at her.

The rest of the evening went by pretty quickly. Zack was tucked into his crib in the old guest room, which had been converted into a nursery, and Marlene and Denzel did their homework before they, too, headed for bed. Once the bar was closed for the day and cleaned, Cloud went to shower while Tifa checked up on the kids. Denzel's bedroom door was closed, and she didn't touch it. He was getting to be more of a light sleeper everyday, and he was at an age anyway where he didn't want parents opening his door to check on him.

Marlene's door was open and she had Mouse tucked under her arm. Tifa stepped in to kiss her forehead and pull the covers up over her shoulders, and then moved on to Zack's room. He was sleeping soundly, his little chest rising and falling and one fist curled up over his head. Tifa brushed her fingers down his cheek and whispered, "Good night, little one."

It was still snowing when she went back downstairs and looked out the window. The snow was steadily piling up on the rooftops and street edges, still mostly untouched by the muddy boots of pedestrians. Tifa unlaced her sneakers, pulling off her socks and setting them on top the shoes, and opened the front door. She stepped barefoot through the thin layer of snow on the steps and sat down; her toes were already going numb, but she would give herself this moment to sit outside and to remember.

To remember because she could simply think about the event that she wanted to recall and have it there in her mind, not because they were missing and she had to wait for them to come to her.

The door opened and she knew without looking that Cloud had come outside. He sat down behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her hair, one hand resting lightly on her stomach. She could almost feel him smiling when the baby in her womb bumped against his palm. "You okay?" he asked her quietly.

"I'm fine. Just thinking." Tifa leaned her head against his shoulder.

"What about?"

"Memories." She was quiet for a moment. Memory was a precious thing--she knew now that it was possible to have a life without it, but actually having it made everything so much richer. The past, the present, the future. There might have been bad memories mixed in with the good, but even the horrible memories had helped her learn, had made her stronger.

Tifa squeezed Cloud's knee and pulled herself to her feet. He rose with her and they went back inside to the warmth of Seventh Heaven...a place that was full of memories past, a place where she made more memories everyday. But the memories were nothing nothing without her family, without the people who loved her and who she loved, who she would give anything for, who had never let her go.

With them, this was home.

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