Archive of Our Own ^beta

Markus anxiously tapped his foot in his seat, Carl next to him, sketching a rough base for what would most likely become another museum-worthy Manfred masterpiece.

“At this rate, you could have just walked us to DC…”

Carl looked up from his drawing, placing a gentle hand on Markus’ shoulder. Markus took a breath, and forced himself to be still, but it was no use. 

“After all you’ve been through, why the hell would you be afraid of flying? If anything, I’d have figured you’d like the convenience of it.”

“I’m not afraid of flying, Carl! I just... don’t like it. You can’t get off if you need to. You’re stuck on the ride for the full duration of the flight. It’s not like you can just open a door mid-flight, and say ‘Well, this has been fun, thanks, but I think I’ll be going now…’”

Carl smirked, nudging Markus in the chest.

“Well, I mean, think of it this way, son… You’re not always stuck on the flight for the intended duration of the trip…” 

Dark humor. Carl’s specialty. Markus understood the joke. Planes were still piloted by humans, even if cars and trains no longer were; the humans somehow thought that it wouldn’t be natural to let planes pilot themselves, as if it was natural for humans to get in large metal tubes with primitive wings and use some fancy buttons to travel long distances far enough above the clouds that his gyroscope constantly underwent forced recalibration, and his ventilation system rebooted seemingly at random as they gained altitude, and the air pressure dropped. But he didn’t even mind that. It was annoying, sure, but he could handle it. When the news wasn’t covering the implications of this new Android rights bill he’d been flying in to promote, Markus couldn’t seem to avoid story after story of horrific plane crashes with few to no survivors. More often than not, any androids on-board survived… While thirium wasn’t allowed on flights due to its chemical similarities to red ice, even when androids had been injured on flights, they usually were  fine until help arrived in the event of a crash. Androids were durable, after all, with strength and stamina surpassing that of the average human, and without the need for food or water. But why had it only hit him now that androids weren’t the only ones he had to worry about….?

“Bad joke…? Sorry… I always thought you liked my--“

“It’s fine, Carl.” Markus cut him off. 

“Now calling boarding group A. Military families, families with young children, or persons with disabilities may now board…”

Fuck. No backing out now…

Markus took the handles of Carl’s chair, grateful to give his trembling hands something to do. 

“Hey… I just got a text that the others landed safely, if it makes you feel any better… I didn’t know they were joining us in DC. What made ‘em take a different flight…?”

“I turned off my messaging system. We’re boarding. Put your phone in airplane mode.” Markus spoke mechanically, still moving forward down the ramp, and toward the plane. 

He took Carl on a different flight because he hadn’t wanted him on a plane with the others. Well, Simon would’ve been okay, but certainly not Josh and North. With Josh’s fondness for utilitarian philosophy, he would unknowingly get Carl caught up in a nihilistic feedback loop, and ideologically, he didn’t want either man influencing the other’s already warped world view. As for North, if the plane did cra-- No. There was no reason to think about it. Simon had volunteered to take them on a different flight, and make sure they didn’t bicker (any more than usual), or cause a problem with the other passengers. He didn’t like the idea of Simon flying without him, and he knew Simon liked it even less, but he had assured Markus that it would be fine, and that Markus deserved to spend the ride having quality time with Carl. Except now the well-meaning gesture felt ominous. He wished Simon were here. He didn’t need quality time. He needed more time. Nothing about flying on a plane was even remotely quality, by any sense of the word. He hadn’t even set foot on the plane, but already he wanted it to land. 

It wasn’t a far walk onto the plane, and once inside, their seats were practically at the front of the plane. He had told Carl not to waste money buying them first class tickets, but Carl had insisted. He said money was just stuff, and it wasn’t like he could use it once he was dead, so he might as well spend it now… Markus didn’t like the thought. And he didn’t like the idea of sitting at the front of the plane. The plane could take a nose-dive, and--

“Wake up, Markus… What’s on your mind? I’ve literally never seen you like this. What’s wrong…?”

Carl. Right. Markus sat Carl into a seat, and collapsed his wheelchair, placing it into an overhead compartment before sitting down beside him. Two clicks meant two seatbelts had buckled, so that two bodies wouldn’t go shooting up through the roof when the plane plummeted thousands of feet into the-- A flight safety manual caught Markus’ eye. He pulled it out, and read it over three times even before the passengers had all been boarded. A section titled “In the event of a water landing” had pictorial instructions, demonstrating how the cushion under the seat could be removed and used as a huggable floating device. Huggable. As in holding onto. There were no floaties or life vests, so if a person’s grip slipped… If their arms grew too tired, or they were too weak to hold on…

“Well that’s a pretty lousy drawing…”

Carl set down his sketchbook and took the pamphlet from Markus. Reaching into his carry-on, he pulled out some pastels and began to run them over the man clinging to the glorified floating pillow. 

“Carl, be serious! This is important, and you’re acting like a child!” 

“I am being serious. I’m seriously embellishing this poor excuse for an ocean by adding shading to give it more depth, and sketching in Cthulu to take the guy in the picture away to the other Eldritch beings. That’s not childish. A child probably would’ve drawn a mermaid or a pirate. This is much more sophisticated! If you’re so on edge, why don’t you take a nap…? Or have they started making Xanax or Dramamine for androids yet? Maybe someone else has some onboard…”

Markus frowned. 

“There isn’t, but regardless, I’m not going to drug myself into oblivion or enter sleep mode. I need to be awake for the flight….”

“Whatever you say, kiddo, but just try to calm down…. Here… Pull up the window shade. Look at the clouds. We’re too high up to try and see what they look like, but I know that if I were a god, I’d spend hours shaping them in weird and exciting conformations just to give people something to look up at and say “Well, that looks like a zebra with a mustache!” Sculpting on another level entirely… Creativity above to inspire creativity below…”

Markus pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as he could feel his barometric sensors forcing a reboot  

“Air pressure getting to you...? Try swallowing…. Drinking stuff helps too.. Here, I’ll call a flight attendant…  --Excuse me, sir? Yes, maybe I please have some thirium and a whiskey over here…? Yes, in two separate cups, if you can, please; My son and I--“

“A-are fine… We don’t need whiskey or thirium. But if you could please get us some tea, that would be much appreciated…” Markus finished, accepting a bottle of unsweetened lemon iced tea from the man, as he pushed his cart along the aisles.

“Gee, thanks, mom… I get that you’re not enjoying the flight, but do you have to make sure I’m not having any fun either?”

"You shouldn’t be drinking whiskey, Carl…” 

“You used to prepare me a scotch on the rocks every morning. If I shouldn’t be drinking whiskey, then why did you let me then?”

“I shouldn’t have then, and I especially shouldn’t now. We’re on a plane. We don’t need to ingest anything that impairs cognitive ability and motor control…” Markus gritted his teeth, swallowing some air, as Carl had suggested.

“Why not? I’m not flying the plane…”

“That doesn’t matter! You should be sound of mind and body while we’re in the air…” 

Carl rolled his eyes. 

“It’s been years since I’ve been sound of body, and a lifetime since I’ve been sound of mind. Sound of mind is so boring…”

No. It really wasn’t. He needed to be both at all times, and ideally anyone around him should be as well.

Markus could feel the plane hit a bump in the air, and tensed in his seat. 

“It’s fine, son. Just a bit of turbulence, is all…”

“Turbulence…” Markus repeated, looking up a blueprint  of the plane to better visualize every possible exit.

The blueprint of the plane showed six exits. One in front, one in back, and four towards the center of the plane. If at all possible, it would be quickert to exit through the front, but what if the ramp was damaged in the crash? What if the ramp was damaged and the roof caved in such that they were isolated from any other possible exit? The blueprint began to glitch in his vision. Parts of it began to flicker, scenes of what appeared to be a clear blue sky creeping in place of sections of the map.

Why…?

He was outside. A cement ground at his feet. He was pacing, and he felt heavier than normal. Unbearably heavy. He could hear North and Josh arguing with words he couldn’t make out in the background as he felt his thirium pump thrashing in his chest, his ventilation system getting clogged up with air and… fear…

He’s not going to make the jump…

Everything was hazy. His mind was racing too fast to follow until North addressed him directly. 

It’s your call, Markus…

Then he could feel the sting of tears, and he was back on the plane, trembling head to toe. What was that? Why had he just seen that now?!? He’d never had anything like that happen before-- Why had the memory taken him like that, entirely unprompted…? Was he glitching out? He couldn’t be glitching out now! He-- his seatbelt caught him as the plane hit another large bump. That must be why. His call. If the plane were to crash, he’d have to figure out how to get them to safety. Water landings tended to be the preferred way to perform an emergency landing. Also the least convenient for him. 

Carl’s arms were thin and frail, his legs effectively useless dangling from his seat. In the event of a water landing, he had a 4% chance of survival, as opposed to the 29% chance he’d have if they crash landed on land. No preconstruction his programming could generate could conceive of a single scenario falling under that 4% in which Carl survived unassisted. Unassisted. But could Markus assist him? Would Markus assist him?

Markus shuddered. The memory had come and gone too fast to identify his thoughts at the rooftop, but it looked like he didn’t even try any other alternatives. What if he had thought of other alternatives, but was too afraid to go through with them? Too afraid because they might have risked his own safety? He didn’t like that thought. But it might have been true, and he wasn’t sure, so he couldn’t be sure it wouldn’t happen again. He ran through a simulation of one of the 4% scenarios. 

He’s sitting here, radiating a nervous energy, but Carl doesn’t seem to mind. The plane begins to shake, and they jerk to the side, but the plane doesn’t seem to adjust and find its balance again. The captain calls over the intercom. Emergency water landing. They need to prepare accordingly and be ready to jump-- yes, jump-- out of the plane as it hits the water. Carl makes some statement about the mortal hubris of man-- not now, Carl!-- but Markus races to pull out their underseat floatation devices. He helps Carl put his on, before putting on his own, and then thinks… Could he better secure Carl to the flotation device if he tears out a seatbelt and tied it around his waist? It's worth a try. Fuck the wheelchair… That’s not worth the time or effort, so he just carries Carl himself. The water is colder than he’d have thought. Carl is already shivering. Ordinarily, Markus would offer his jacket, but saturated with water, it wouldn’t do him any good. 

This must be a river, because he can feel the current pulling at him. Fuck. Carl is already struggling to keep ahold of the device, and-- Water flies into Markus’ optic sensors, and then the world splits in three. Three Markuses wipe their eyes, each to find Carl is gone, his flotation device floating upside down beside Markus. Shit! Each of the three Markuses dive after Carl to pull him up from the water. He sputters out water, gasping for air, and shivering intensely. His skin is beginning to pale, and it’s clear he won’t be able to support himself any longer. The three Markus’ took Carl in one arm, wrangling both his device and Carl’s in their free arm to hold them both afloat. 

Except the three Carls aren’t making it easy. One Carl is actively pushing away from Markus. He says to let him go; it’s his time and he’s only holding Markus back. One Carl is flailing his arms, cursing himself for his inutility, and trying in vain to help Markus help him. 

And the last Carl is… wrong… It hurts that Markus to even look at him… 

The last Carl isn’t just shivering--  he’s shaking too. The last Carl is afraid. He’s begging for help. He’s crying. He’s scared of being so helpless. It breaks Markus’ heart as he struggles to keep them both above water, while also trying to dole out as much reassurance as he can. Each Carl is about to go under, but each Markus lifts him above themselves to keep them from going under. Each Markus falls into the water, water filling their system. It’s cold, and errors pop up in their visions. Error after error after error, and it’s dark and wet, and they’re scared!

The water hurts as it creeps into their wiring, but each Markus manages to get back up again. Two of the Markuses begin to swim towards the other passengers awaiting rescue, but the one is frozen in fear. Their Carl is still splashing about and swearing, each movement threatening to pull Markus under again. That Markus is going to drown. That Markus can’t handle falling into the water again. That Markus can’t handle any more water. It hurts! He’s going to die down here! He… He needs to get away! He can’t do this anymore!

Reflexively, that Markus lets go of Carl, and swims. He doesn’t know where he’s swimming, but he needs to get away. He can see Carl managing to struggle back to his flotation device as he looks behind, and he can see other humans coming to help him. He can’t believe he did that. He left Carl possibly to die. And he kept swimming. 

The resigned Carl is beginning to fall asleep, not fighting the fate that is lurking thousands of feet below. And truth be told, his Markus isn’t faring much better. But he lies down, flat against the water, placing Carl on his back to keep him above water. His limbs are growing heavier, but he needs to get Carl to the others, to safety. He can see the timer. He has 35 minutes and 6 seconds. 35 minutes and 6 seconds to get Carl to safety or else they’ll both fall to the bottom of the river. 30 minutes… 20… 10… 5… 4… He doesn’t want to die. After Simon came back, he told Markus that death is nothing. Death is alone. He’s scared. He tells Carl he loves him. He tells Carl he’s sorry. His body can’t do this anymore. His joints lock up, and he begins to fall. Carl can’t reach him before he falls out of reach. And then the world goes to black…

Markus slumped back in his seat, his led dimming just a bit. 

“Sir, I don’t mean to intrude, but what did you just do to your android?”

Carl shot the man across the aisle a dirty look.

“I didn’t do anything to my android. But as for this android, my son , just a trick I learned from a friend of his. He’s not good on flights, so now he’s in sleep mode. I’ll wake him when we land, and he’ll thank me then. In the meantime, have you seen the flight attendant? Markus was right; whiskey’s no good. But I could definitely go for some bourbon right about now…”