Chapter Text
The MarAWWWWders (cause we’re cute)
Prongs
14.00 hi
14.00 hi hi
14.00 hello
14.01 talk to me I’m bored
Wormy
14.02 Shhh, working
Moony
14.03 Aren’t you in class?
Prongs
14.03 MOONY!
14.03 Yes yes but
14.03 it’s boring af
14.03 like this could’ve been an email kinda boring, not make me come in for an hour and a half presentation when I’m fighting sleep boring
Moony
14.04 why you so tired?
Prongs
14.05 no reason
Moony
14.06 ....what? Did you go out last night?
Padfoot
14.07 no he got in
Moony
14.08 ????
Padfoot
14.08 Evans
Moony
14.09 omg hahahaha
Prongs
14.09 PADFOOT BE QUIET
Padfoot
14.09 why
14.10 you weren’t
Moony
14.10 dead hahaha
14.10 deceased
14.10 send flowers
Padfoot
14.11 anything but lilies?
Moony
14.12 hahaha
Prongs
14.13 I hate you both
14.13 we’ve lived together for like 10 years Padfoot
14.13 and with you knew living with me and Lily you were bound to hear... things from time to time
14.14 you’re crashing at Moony’s or Wormtail's tonight
Padfoot
14.15 Fine might actually get some sleep
Moony
14.15 instead of just listening to Prongs get some
Padfoot
14.15 hahahaha
Prongs left the chat
Putting the ‘bother’ in ‘brother’ [James Potter & Sirius Black]
Spexy
15.10 add me back
15.11 please
15.12 add me back and I won’t tell Lily
hOTT
15.12 I’m not scared of Lily anymore
Spexy
15.12 add me back or I’ll tell mum
hOTT
15.13 if you wanna tell mum I heard you shagging all night then be my guest
15.13 Just know that when she calls I’ll tell her I heard you making really weird farm animal noises
Spexy
15.14 wtf you’re sick!
hOTT
15.14 you’re the one who is sick James. I mean animals? Really?
Spexy
15.15 you’re making it up freak
hOTT
15.16 I’ll start crying and act like I’m worried about you so she’ll really believe it too
Spexy
15.17 I have photos of you wearing a collar remember, if anyone is weird about animals...
hOTT
15.18 UM EXCUSE ME first of all, it’s Lily’s collar from when she was dressed as Columbia and I kindly agreed to swap her Frank n Furters pearls!
15.20 and second of all do you really wanna start talking compromising photos and threatening to spill secrets to mum???
Spexy
15.21 ....no
15.22 you’re right. Just add me back
15.23 hey you didn’t tell anyone else of the fictitious animal thing right?
hOTT
15.24.....no....
Spexy
15.24 PADFOOT I SWEAR TO GOD DID YOU PUT THAT IN THE CHAT ADD ME BACK NOW
hOTT
15.25 What the matter feeling sheep-ish
Spexy
15.25 Fuck you
hOTT
15.26 Serves you right you BAAAH’d boy!
Spexy
15.26 I’ll ask Moony
Padfoot
15.28 don’t you mean MOOny???
Padfoot’s inner consciences [James Potter & Remus Lupin]
Fun&James
15.29 Moony add me back
Supreme-us
15.31 old MacDonald had a farm
Fun&James
15.31 mf you know he’s lying
Supreme-us
15.32 e i e i o
Fun&James
15.33 enough okay add me back
Supreme-us
15.36 is it just specifically farm animals? Or does the zoo do it for you too?
Fun&James
15.37 pls my life is a zoo, you both need locked up
Supreme-us
15.38 kinky 
Fun&James
15.38 fuck off
PP’s hehehe [James Potter & Peter Pettigrew]
JAY PEE
15.38 Add me back to the chat pls
PEE PEE
16.01 No. You annoyed me earlier when I was working
16.02 and I’m a firm believer in animal rights
JAY PEE
16.03 add me or I’ll make a new chat and you’ll get 2x as many messages
The MarAWWWWders (cause we’re cute)
Wormy added James Potter to the chat
James Potter changed their name to Prongs
Moony
16.05 told you wormtail was the weak link
Wormy
16.05 heey
Padfoot
16.06 his job is literally cyber security I thought we’d be safe
Wormy
16.07 you don’t pay me, I don’t owe you my loyalties
Padfoot changed Prongs name to Pottery Barnyard
Pottery Barnyard
16.08 I deny this slander. This is defamatory and I will be taking these texts to court, they are baseless and false accusations
Moony
16.10 not entirely baseless, remember, Padfoot told us why your mum calls you Bambi! You did have a thing for a cartoon fawn!
Pottery Barnyard
16.12 I WAS SIX! Besides Sirius fancied The lions in The Lion King when we were 11!
Padfoot
16.13 First of all...It was the lion king 2: Simba’s Pride! They deliberately drew Kovu sexy and you can’t tell me otherwise! Second of all, you fancied a fish
Moony
16.15 what??? Please not Finding Nemo?
Pottery Barnyard
16.16 NO! She wasn’t a fish she was a mermaid!
Moony
16.17 Not Ariel!!!
16.17 Hahahaha that’s perfect
Pottery Barnyard
16.18 yeah so? I was just a kid
Moony
16.18 omg you’re an idiot! Don’t you see the connection???
Padfoot
16.19 don’t tell him Moony
Pottery Barnyard
16.18 oh how about I don’t tell Moony that you fancied the Beast from Beauty and the Beast
Padfoot
16.19 okay first of all Gaston, fuck you. Second of all....he had nice eyes and I felt sorry for him. Not everyone finds love by 21 you know “introducing Mrs & Mr Lily Evans”
Moony
16.21 I’d have stayed with him for the library alone
Padfoot
16.22 course you would, nothing gets you like a good HARDback
16.22 nerd! And that’s coming from an English lit major
Moony
16.23 Not gonna take that LION down pride boy!
Pottery Barnyard changed his name to Prongs
Padfoot added Lily Evans to the chat
Padfoot changed Lily Evans name to Ariel
Prongs
16.25 I don’t get it?
Ariel
16.29 What colour is my hair babe?
Prongs
16.30 oh
Ariel
16.32 you can both sleep elsewhere tonight, I need a night free from you both. @Moony your punishment is putting up with them for a night! @Padfoot if you ever mention animals and sex in the same context as me again I will have you neutered.
16.33 mermaid out
Ariel changed the group name to ‘In the doghouse’
Ariel left the chat
Music Icons [Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon & Mary MacDonald]
David Bowie
16.45 Can the guys stay tonight? Lily kicked them out again lmfao
Dolly Parton
16.47 the fuck did you idiots do this time?
16.47 nm I don’t even wanna know
16.48 I’m asking Lily to stay at hers
The Powerpuff Girls [Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon & Mary MacDonald]
Bubbles
16.48 I told Remus I’m asking to stay at yours but really I’m just telling you that I’m staying at yours because you kicked out your man and man-child and thanks to whatever weird custody arrangement you and Remus have, he gets them tonight so yeah I’m staying at yours mmk?
Blossom
16.50 fair. Pizza or Chinese?
Buttercup
16.51 I’m staying too then
Music Icons
Diana Ross
16.52 Me and Marls are staying at Lily’s, make Peter sleep on the couch cause the last time you let them stay he got crumbs in my bed!
David Bowie
16.53 Deal, sorry Mary! Won’t happen again, your room is off limits!
Diana Ross
16.54 Glad to hear it x
16.55 What are you guys doing food wise?
David Bowie
16.55 wait I’ll check
16.59 pizza
Diana Ross
17.01 over order? You know the drill x
David Bowie
17.02 it’s a plan 
The Powerpuff Girls
Buttercup
17.03 They’re over ordering pizza, we’ll over order Chinese and swap leftovers tomorrow like usual x
Blossom
17.04 perfect Mary, phone when you’re on your way I’ll order! Marls what time you coming?x
Bubbles
17.06 leaving now x
The One
[James Potter & Lily Evans]
Jam xxx
17.07 not mad at me are you babe?xxxxx
L(ily)(fell from the h)Evans
17.08 no idiot x
17.09 love you have fun x
Jam xxx
17.09 xxx
LilyPads [ Lily Evans & Sirius Black]
And they were roommates!
17.12 not mad at me are you babe?xxx
Omg they were roommates?
17.12 yes idiot
And they were roommates!
17.12 do you still love me?xxx
Omg they were roommates?
17.14 yes idiot xxx
And they were roommates!
17.15 more than James?xx
Omg they were roommates?
17.17 not after last night, he’s an animal
And they were roommates!
17.18 lmfao Evans I love you
Omg they were roommates?
17.20 I know Sirius x
Sapphic’s stopping Traffic [Dorcas Meadows & Marlene McKinnon]
CODE girl in RED
18.02 hi baby, just finished work...will I come over?
Blonde bombshell
18.03 hiiiii love 
I’m staying at Lily’s with Mary x
CODE girl in RED
18.05 oh ok
18.05 no worries I’ll see you another night then x
Blonde bombshell
18.06 nooo! I miss you come over! Girls night!!!Xxx
CODE girl in RED
18.07 you can’t just invite me to Lily’s place!!x
Blonde bombshell
18.08 fiiinne
CODE girl in RED
18.08 wait are you mad at me? I like Lily but she was still your friend first I can't crash
18.09 babe?xxx
Meadow of Flowers [Dorcas Meadows & Lily Evans]
Sap(ling) 
18.09 come over Dork!xx
18.09 it was an impromptu thing, the boys were made homeless for the night (tell you when you get here) so the girls vacated their place so they could stay with Remus xx please come we’re eating and drinking x
18.09 you know how your gf gets on rum
(Women in) STEM 
18.10 okay Lils thanks!xx
18.10 and yes I do know, it’s how we got together
T-birds and Pink Ladies [Marlene McKinnon & Sirius Black]
(You’re the one that I want) Sandy
18.23 Mary is sleepingg in with Lily toniggt
18.24 so I’ll be in your bed
Rizzo
18.25 kinky, people will talk
(You’re the one that I want) Sandy
18.26 and Dorcas is coming
18.26 well not yet anyway llool
Rizzo
18.26 Marlene I swear to god if you have sex in my bed
18.26 I will kill you
(You’re the one that I want) Sandy
18.28 xxxxxxxxcccxxx
The GC (group chat not Gemma Collins) [Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Dorcas Meadows]
WhySoSirius
18.28 MARLENE AND DORCAS IF YOU HAVE SEX IN MY BED I’LL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN
18.29 LILY AND MARY IF YOU LET THEM HAVE SEX IN MY BED I’LL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN
Take your MEADOWsin
18.29 Sounds like a win win
Sansa Stark
18.30 serves you right be a little less worried about the sex noises coming from my room, tonight it’ll be your room x
RichGirl-Hall and Oates
18.31 ahaha tell him babe
18.31 bout time too been too quiet in there lately
ForPetesSake
18.32 burnnnn
WhySoSirius
18.33 okay @RichGirl-Hall and Oates, you’ve gone too far cause you know it don’t matter anyway
18.33 Uncalled for, just kissin’ Lily’s ass
18.34 @ForPetesSake burnnn? Like your piss after your last sexual encounter?
Bae at the Moon
18.35 ahaha
ForPetesSake
18.35 uncalled for
Why So Sirius
18.36 Marlene if you have sex in my bed then I will have sex in your bed!
MaryQueenOfThots
18.36 Who with hahaha
ForPetesSake
18.36 Not it
Bae at the moon
18.36 Not it
RichGirl- Hall and Oates
18.36 Not it
WhySoSirius
18.37 pfft some best friends you are
18.37 when a friend reaches out to you in a time of need
18.37 I expect you to be there
Bae at the moon
18.38 should’ve said ‘I expect you to come’
Sansa Stark
18.38 LMFAO Remus!
MaryQueenOfThoughts
18.38 Hahahahaha
WhySoSirius
18.39 okay I’m still having sex in your bed Marls, the pizza is on its way
18.39 and if I know anything of cheesy low budget porn films
RichGirl- Hall and Oates
18.39 and you do
WhySoSirius
18.39 and I do
Take your MEADOWsin
18.39 oh lord
WhySoSirius
18.40 then I know if I answer the door shirtless and ask for meat feast, they’ll absolutely want to have sex with me
MaryQueenOfThots
18.41 Well, be sure to give him a big tip
Bae at the moon
18.41 OMFG MARY I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAY HAHAHA
RichGirl-Hall and Oates
18.41 I’m dying
Sansa Stark
18.42 literally can’t breathe
Why So Sirius
18.42 you’re kidding anyway right, girls?
18.42 they’re bluffing
MaryQueenOfThots
18.43 Sirius I hate to be the one to tell you this
18.43 actually I love being the one to tell you this
18.43 take immense pleasure in being the one to tell you this
WhySoSirius
18.44 ffs tell me then!
MaryQueenOfThots
18.45 Marlene’s on the rum
Bae at the Moon
18.45 hahahahaha
WhySoSirius
18.46 ....
18.47 you better wash my sheets or buy me new ones istg Marls
MarleneOnMe
18.48 dealll xx
RichGirl- Hall and Oates
18.49 if Marls is on the rum she may not even make it to the bedroom lmao
18.49 p.s don’t let them do it on the couch Lils we have a NO COITUS ON THE COUCH RULE for a reason
Bae at the Moon
18.50 if Marls is on the rum she may have to buy Padfoot a new bed lmao
MarleneOnMe
18.51 you bitchesd are just lucky I’m rum tipssy asd gettin lai dtonight xxxxc
ForPetesSake
19.06 ffs! The pizza guy just knocked at the door, Padfoot took off his shirt and tried to answer
19.07 Prongs and I had to hold him down while we sent Moony to the door to pay
WhySoSirius
19.08 Bitch, Prongs (the mindless muscle of the four of us) held me down! You just tugged uselessly at my trouser leg
19.09 if you wanted me to take off my jeans so much I needn’t have bothered with the pizza guy had I known you were so willing to help me get even with Mckinnon
ForPetesSake
19.09 Lily can I come and stay on the couch for girls night? Padfoot is scaring me