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Sakusa is what one would consider to be an observant person. He’s always been good at analyzing and interpreting, and devoted himself to remembering what he’s seen and learned.
“You’d be a great witness for a murder trial or something!” Komori told him once.
“...Thanks? I’m not sure what to think of that.”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about it! I’ll keep it in mind though…”
“What’s that supposed to--”
Komori smiles innocently. “Memento mori, Kiyoomi. Memento mori.” Sakusa knows he’s just joking, but still makes a mental note to not get on his cousin’s bad side (and really starts to regret “borrowing” Komori’s phone charger three weeks ago.)
Sakusa remembers little details like this, whether he wants to or not. Hell, most people couldn’t even remember what they had for breakfast yesterday, while Sakusa could remember everything he had eaten the past two weeks.
But sometimes, he sort of wants to forget. He wants to forget the small things he’s seen years prior, like the way Atsumu never takes the last step of stairs and jumps right off, or the way Atsumu was always a bit awkward with others (despite how much he tries to deny it), or the way Atsumu could never really feel comfortable sleeping alone.
As much as he wants to forget, he can’t. Guess Atsumu wormed his way into Sakusa’s mind, unknowingly seeping into his heart as well.
...
Fifteen is a weird age to be, Sakusa thinks. Fifteen years earlier, he was just born, and fifteen years later, he will be thirty. It feels like some sort of milestone, like something life changing will happen.
He’s been invited to the National All Japan Youth Training Camp. Does that count as life changing? He doubts it.
“Nice to meet ya, Kiyoomi-kun!” He shouldn’t have doubted it.
“Um, hello.” Atsumu’s outburst startles Sakusa a bit, considering how he just grabbed his shoulder.
“No worries, I washed my hands! Motoya-kun told me, just tell me to back off if ya want, alright?” The camp had just started and it appears Komori had already made friends, and Sakusa was totally, not at all a bit jealous at how easy it probably was for him. Being a bit of a dickhead doesn’t equate to not wanting to know new people.
“That’s thoughtful of you, thank you…” Sakusa tries to recall the boy’s name. “...Miya.”
“Ah, it’s been a while since anyone’s called me that.”
“Why?”
“Everyone calls me by my first name since I have a twin brother, named Osamu. He’s a pain sometimes, but we’re practically inseparable. Kinda wish he was here…” Atsumu looks down for a second, and Sakusa can’t read his expression.
“...do you want me to call you by your first name then?” Sakusa’s an asshole, but he’s not insensitive.
“Nah, it’s fine! It’s a nice change of pace.” Atsumu smiles, and Sakusa feels something he can’t explain, mainly because he doesn’t know what it is in the first place.
“Wanna hit some of my sets?” Atsumu asks, with a shine in his eyes.
Sakusa agrees. They play until they’re both out of breath, which is unusual for Sakusa, but something about Atsumu’s tosses kept Sakusa wanting to hit them. The two exchange numbers, something Atsumu was insistent on.
He sleeps well that night, exhausted from practice. Sakusa will be 16 soon, and nothing life changing has happened.
(Nothing at all.)
badump.
Sakusa wonders if it’s Atsumu’s explosive personality or his charming smile that makes him memorable.
Or maybe it’s just Miya’s stupidity, he thinks, as he watches the flustering display play out.
Atsumu, with his phone in one hand and an iced peach green tea bottle in the other, absentmindedly runs to catch up with his brother, until he runs into someone. Normally, Atsumu would’ve been a bit ticked off, but at the moment, he can only feel grateful his peach tea and phone are still intact.
“Oh, I’m sorry—” He slips his phone into his pocket and makes a sharp turn, only to find the “person” he ran into and apologized to was a lifeless mannequin. He makes a sorry attempt to laugh it off.
“Oh, yer just a mannequin, haha…” Atsumu’s laugh is awkward and forced (not as if that makes Sakusa dislike it). At this point, any normal person would leave, but for some reason, Atsumu stays at the mannequin for a moment longer until his laughter dies off. It’s at this point that people start to accumulate and wonder what was going on at the scene.
“...why am I still standing here talking to ya?” Atsumu asks the same question everyone watching was thinking, and anyone’s answer is as good as his.
Atsumu’s face contorts into something of a dejected one as he turns away from the mannequin and runs back towards his brother, but not before giving the mannequin a small and hesitant wave goodbye.
Sakusa almost laughs.
Once Atsumu returns to his original destination, Osamu immediately chips in.
“Did ya just... wave to the mannequin?” Osamu asks with genuine confusion (and maybe a pinch of mockery), and Atsumu isn’t sure what to say.
“S-Shut yer trap! It’s called... commitment.”
“What the hell are ya talking about?”
“‘Cuz I was talking to it like a person, y’know?! So, I’m sticking to my mistakes, like a loyal person!” Atsumu declares this as if it makes any sense , but Sakusa admits that it kind of does. Osamu however, despite sharing the same DNA as his brother, has no idea what his brother is exclaiming about.
“That makes no sense.”
“Well of course it doesn’t make sense to ya ‘Samu, what would ya know about commitment, hm?”
“The fuck did ya say?!”
The two pettily argue for a bit, with Sakusa and his sister still watching from afar. He would’ve gone and talked to him, but he figures it might be nicer of him to pretend he didn’t see anything.
He’s an idiot… Sakusa thinks, and tries to ignore the fact that he feels his heart pound a bit faster.
badump. badump.
About a year passes, and Sakusa has just turned 17. He feels the same, but he’s learned some more. For starters, he’s learned more about himself— he’s sure he’s pansexual, and surprisingly, didn’t have a crisis over it.
(Although, he did have some small ones, concerning one particular person.)
He’s also learned more about the people he cares about, more random details Sakusa still recalls. It turns out Komori doesn’t like the smell of cinnamon, but he does like food with cinnamon in it. He finds out his brother used to play the guitar, but decided to pass it down to Sakusa in hopes that his wrists might have better luck with it. His sister, apparently, once chugged about half a bottle of antacids when she was young because she liked the taste.
(It didn’t end well.)
Sakusa also learns that Atsumu… is blond now. It takes some time to get used to, but Sakusa thinks it suits him. He shines even brighter now.
Atsumu sort of reminds him of the sun: bright, and warm, and soft, and—
A bit of a pain in the ass, he supposes. Kind of overbearing and intruding, but in the best way possible.
“Omi-kuuuuun, wouldja just come eat dinner with me, just this once?” Atsumu would never stop nagging at Sakusa to come with him to Deloon’s, a noodle shop nearby. “Gimme a valid reason why ya don’t wanna go, and I’ll leave ya alone.”
“It’s not hygenic.” One advantage of always looking nonchalant is that Sakusa could lie with a straight face.
“That’s a damn lie, Komori told me ya went with him the other day! He said yer eyes were practically as shiny as their countertops.” Atsumu scrunches his eyebrows while Sakusa internally curses at his cousin. “Don’t lie and tell me ya didn’t like the food either: Komori mentioned that too, so what gives?”
Truth be told, Sakusa doesn’t exactly know why he doesn’t want to go out with Atsumu. He enjoys his time with Atsumu: very much so, in fact. Sakusa thinks Atsumu is thoughtful, and easy to talk to, and fun to be around, and lively, and kind, and… cute. That’s exactly what Sakusa fears, that he enjoys his time with Atsumu a little too much.
What if his enjoyment exceeds Atsumu’s, and this becomes one-sided? Sakusa wasn’t going to let that happen, the same way Atsumu was not going to head up back to Hyogo without getting to eat with Sakusa at least once.
“Look, if ya don’t wanna hang out with me, that’s fine, but couldja at least say that to my face instead of making dumb excuses?” Atsumu seems hurt, and Sakusa wishes he wouldn’t overthink everything, but can’t find a way to change himself.
“...there’s a lot of people here, Miya. Why can’t you ask any of them to go with you? You know damn well how picky I am, so why are you so nice to me?” Atsumu somehow knows exactly what to say to Sakusa, how far to go without making him uncomfortable. It flatters Sakusa to no extent, but he’ll never understand why Atsumu does all this in the first place.
Atsumu doesn’t say anything for a bit. “It’s not like I’m doing this because I’m a saint or something. Truth is, I just don’t like eating alone. I always eat with ‘Samu, so eating alone just feels wrong, y’know?” Sakusa feels like he understands, the strangeness you feel when something changes from routine.
“B-But it’s not like I’m just looking for anyone to eat with! I swear I’m not just tryna put ya in place of ‘Samu! I just… wanted to get to know ya better. Ya always seem so cold or uninterested, but from what Motoya-kun has said about ya, ya seem so different!” Atsumu may not seem like a serious person, but his words are sincere and truthful. “Yer interesting, Kiyoomi-kun.” Atsumu looks Sakusa in the eyes and blushes the tiniest bit (and hopes Sakusa doesn’t notice the underlying meaning in his words), and Sakusa has to muster up every ounce of self restraint in his body to stop himself from hugging the boy.
“O-Okay, um, fine.” It takes Sakusa a minute to calm down, while Atsumu synchronously comprehends what Sakusa just agreed to.
“Wait, ya mean--”
Sakusa nods softly. “Let’s go get dinner.”
Atsumu tries to play it off like doesn’t care too much, replying with a simple, “Ah, yeah, cool,” while he secretly smiles so wide his eyes close when Sakusa’s not looking.
They order two bowls of some basic ramen, simple but delicious, and talk the whole meal.
“So, almost everything ya own is a hand-me-down, huh?” Atsumu questions.
“Pretty much.”
“Isn’t yer family kinda rich? Or at least, that’s what Motoya-kun told me.” Atsumu and Komori happened to be roommates, and judging from how Komori seems to get tired more easily ever since the camp and how Atsumu seems to suddenly know everything about Sakusa, the two haven’t been getting much sleep.
“We… live comfortably, I guess? I wouldn’t say that we’re millionaires or anything, but I guess we do have some money to spend.”
“Then how come everything ya have is a hand-me-down? Not that it’s bad or anything, ’m just curious.”
“My parents didn’t come from rich families, so we tried to save money anyway we could. Besides, I don’t really mind having hand-me-downs from stuff my siblings haven’t used in years.“
“Yeah, I think I get whatcha mean. Pretty much everything I own is something I share with ‘Samu, or we’d at least have matching stuff. I can’t tell ya the amount of times we’ve gotten our things mixed up.” Atsumu laughs, and Sakusa smiles. Atsumu always seems to brighten up a bit when he talks about Osamu, enough so that Sakusa’s curiosity is piqued.
“Y’know, ya should come meet ‘Samu sometime, I think ya’d get along with him.”
Sakusa ponders on whether or not he should tell Atsumu that he’s already seen his brother, as well as the whole mannequin scenario that played out at the mall, but he decides to be nice for once and spare Atsumu the recurring embarrassment.
“If he’s anything like you and drags me along to places I don’t want to be, I think I’ll pass,” Sakusa says jokingly.
(He doesn’t realize he ends up sounding serious. No wonder people might think he’s a jerk.)
“Ah, that was uncalled for!” Atsumu scrunches his nose and glares slightly at Sakusa. “Ya did agree to come, so ya came with yer own consent! Besides, I bet ya can’t look me in the eye and tell me yer having a terrible time.’’ Atsumu looks at Sakusa dead in the eyes. Sakusa reciprocates, but before he can attempt to deny his enjoyment, he laughs at the adorable face Atsumu tries to make in an attempt to be angry.
“You’re right, this wasn’t horrible.” Sakusa replies with a small smile, and he gets the lingering feeling Atsumu has been looking at his lips at bit longer than normal, like he’s contemplating something.
Before Atsumu can say anything else, a waiter at the table brings them two complimentary fortune cookies. Sakusa isn’t a huge fan of the cookies themselves, but he does enjoy reading the fortune he gets. He knows it’s just a random slip of paper put in by some random person who would know nothing about Sakusa’s actual fate, but there’s still a fun drop of chance intertwined within it.
“Ah, these are always so fun!”
“Yeah, but it’s usually something simple, like ‘Luck is on your side this week. ’ or ‘Success is coming soon. ’ Nothing that might actually be useful or be worth getting excited over. “
“That’s true and all, but sometimes ya get one that’s cool! One time, I got one that told me it was time to change my hair.”
“...that’s not why you went blond, is it?”
“No, this was way before that. Although, now that I think about it, ‘Samu probably would’ve if it was his cookie... Anyways, let’s see what mine is.”
Atsumu takes a bite out of the edge of the cookie, and leans the cookie down so the fortune falls out.
“What does it say?”
He cracks open the cookie, and his face contorts into one of disinterest.
“'Good things come to those who wait.’ Damn, that was disappointing. I’m sure I’ve already heard something like that from Kita-san.”
“Your captain?”
“Yeah, he’s this model guy who’s perfect at everything he does. Kinda like ya, actually.”
“Miya, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of a dick. I’m sure Komori has told you as such.”
“Nah, ya aren’t that bad. Guys like ya always have to do things the right way. Like when ya sit down to do something, ya just gotta finish it, like you'll die if ya don’t. It’s admirable, really. Yer a good guy, I think people just misunderstand ya. Just try to hear them out too, and I’m sure anyone else would say the same thing.”
Sakusa isn’t sure what to say or do other than a quiet “Mm,” with a slight nod of his head, so he opts to look down instead. He sees his unopened cookie, and decides to take a look. Sakusa doesn’t have many expectations, but is excited regardless. He opens up his cookie and reads the small slip of paper.
“Try to open up and love more.”
“Well, what’s it say?”
“...”
Sakusa internally applauds Miya for being a psychic, and just might try to take the advice. His heart beats a bit, probably from excitement. After all, what else could it be from?
badump. badump. badump.
Sakusa isn’t an antisocial person, despite how much people believe him to be so. Sure, he doesn’t like germs or grime or anything of the sort, but why should that include people?
It wasn’t until his MSBY days that he started to be invited to things, mostly by Captain Meian.
“Sakusa, how about coming to eat with us? Not to force you or anything—“
“Sure.”
“You can decline if— huh?” Meian looked astonished. Was he really that convincing?
“It’s just dinner, and I don’t have any other plans. Why wouldn’t I join?” Sakusa gets why Meian would think he’d decline, but is still a bit bothered by the uninterested aura he somehow always accidentally exudes. (He loves this team, really).
“You aren’t just accepting because I’m your captain, right?”
“Of course not.”
“...huh. Okay, I’m glad to hear it!” Meian smiled a wide grin, as the situation had gone a lot better than he expected.
“HEY HEY HEY!” An appreciated, occasional headache, walked into the room, along with a man with hair as bright as the sun. Despite its bleached nature, it seemed all natural upon appearance.
(Maybe Sakusa had been lacking with his Vitamin D.)
“So, is Omi Omi coming with us?” Bokuto asked curiously, wanting to get to know his teammate (and the man that possibly robbed him of his position amongst the top three aces, but he doesn’t hold it against him.)
“Mm.” replied Sakusa, who was as brief as ever with Bokuto, who often did most of the talking.
“Woah, you actually agreed?! I mean I’m glad you’re coming and all, just didn’t see it coming.” Bokuto let out a hearty laugh.
“Nah Bokkun, Omi-kun just looks mean, but I promise ya, he’s real soft!” Atsumu knows this from personal experience and with a cheeky smile, he softly pinches Sakusa’s cheek. Sakusa hates himself because he knows he blushes a bit, one that hopefully goes unnoticed by Atsumu (but sure as hell doesn’t go ignored by Meian and Bokuto).
They go out for some noodles with the rest of the team, a joint known for its sanitary accomplishments. Sakusa doesn’t know what to order and picks the first thing he sees.
(He doesn’t realize that it’s the same dish he and Atsumu had a while back, and still doesn’t realize it until Atsumu points it out himself.)
Atsumu decides to get some udon dipping noodles, one his brother had recommended to him.
They order some drinks as well, and the night starts to become more and more hazy. After what felt like two minutes of casual discussion, almost an hour had passed.
Atsumu looks about ready to pass out, into his empty noodle bowl but still half full dipping sauce.
“Was the sauce not good?” Sakusa asks, trying to make some conversation with the lightweight.
“Nah, ‘s not that.” Atsumu picks up the liquid dipping sauce like a shot glass, and downs half of it. “It’s not terrible, but the noodles themselves are just kinda bland, and this sauce thing is way too salty.”
Sakusa just stares at him, along with Bokuto and Meian who had at some point dropped their conversations.
“...Miya, you’re a dumbass.”
“Eh?”
“You’re supposed to dip the noodles in the sauce to eat them…”
Something suddenly clicked for Atsumu, who was grateful his brother wasn’t here to see him do that.
“OH! That’s why it’s called DIPPING noodles, haha!” Atsumu was too drunk to feel embarrassed, and just found the whole thing hilarious. The rest of the team seemed to think the same, as everyone had burst into laughter.
“The hell are ya laughing at?!”
“M-Miya, you’re just surprisingly adorable, y-y’know?” Meian claimed who was practically shaking with laughter.
“Tsum tsum, isn’t your brother a chef?” Bokuto had to tell Akaashi about this later, who would probably somehow get the word to Osamu next time he bought some onigiri.
Miya, who was trying his best to look upset and shaking in rage, was actually on the verge of laughing himself. He laughed out loud, with red cheeks and a huge smile.
Amongst the raucousness, Atsumu makes eye contact with Sakusa and hears him softly giggle. Not in a way like he was poking fun at Atsumu, but in an endearing tone, with genuine amazement and happiness.
A feeling Atsumu has had for years (but tried to ignore) resurfaces. Amongst the slightly red faces and soft glances, both their hearts skip a few beats.
badump. badump. badump. badump.
“Miya?”
“Yeah?”
“If I asked you out to dinner, what would you say?”
“Yes... Without a second thought, to be honest.”
“Really?” Like, just the two of us? As a date?
“Of course!”
“...”
“...”
“Do you—“
“Yes.”
“...”
“...”
“...thank you.”
“...huh? For what?”
“N-nothing. Well, it’s not nothing, but… never mind.”
“It’s alright, ya can say it. I won’t bite, at least, not like that~”
“Bold.”
“Ya like me bold. ...right?”
“Of course.”
For the first time in what feels like a lifetime, Sakusa doesn’t overthink a thing.
badump. badump. badump. badump…
Atsumu’s love feels like the sun. Bright, warm, soft, a bit overbearing, but also the reason Sakusa wakes up everyday.
Sakusa is 25 years old, so it’s been 10 years since they first met. 10 years since his life was changed.
Except, his life was changing everyday. Sure, there was always a routine in which he did things, but no day was the same as the last, especially with Atsumu.
Sakusa adores Atsumu, and is infinitely grateful the man changed his life: slowly, but surely. Sakusa can only hope that Atsumu’s days are also brighter with Sakusa right there with him.
lub-dup. lub-dup. lub-dup. lub-dup…
Atsumu swears he’s gone soft ever since he and Sakusa began dating. He wasn’t this weak before.
“Atsumu.” Sakusa could call him in such a sweet voice that rings in Atsumu’s ears and makes him want to melt into Sakusa’s arms.
“Kiyoomi-kun.” Atsumu replies with a smile. He doesn’t say anything else; he doesn’t need to say anything else.
The two sit closely together in silence in their shared home, quiet, but content and at ease.
“It’s quite hot today.” Sakusa finally breaks their comforting silence.
Atsumu thinks for a second, in no rush at all to answer, but ends up answering without a second thought. “So are you.”
“Hm? I’m what?”
“Quite hot today.”
“Oh, just today?”
“No, I mean, yer hot everyday, but especially today.”
“Is that so?” Atsumu’s attempt to be smooth already feels like an insult, but Atsumu can’t feel any sense of shame after seeing Sakusa smile so wholeheartedly. Considering the way Sakusa’s eyes close almost completely, and the way his nose scrunches the tiniest bit, and the way the grin of his face makes him look both smug and soft synchronously, and the way adoration for Atsumu is absolutely radiating from his eyes while gazing at Atsumu without looking away...
He’s glowing, and Atsumu feels it too.
There’s only a small height difference between the two, but it makes all the time in the world. Not that it’s an issue though, Atsumu knows he has all the time in the world to thoroughly love Sakusa.
The two lean in closer and closer, until their lips finally marry. Sakusa lightly brushes over Atsumu’s small waist, barely caressing it, but Atsumu swears he sees stars, and sees them in Sakusa’s eyes too. Their hearts beat synchronously and pulse deep within them. Atsumu wraps his arms around Sakusa’s broad back and shoulders, gently backing away from the kiss but looking at Sakusa with all the adoration in the world. In this moment, there was no need for either of them to worry about a thing.