Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Life after Poe left had been dreary, to say the least. Without his fiery spirits and strong will, your group had quickly fallen apart, all of the people you had thought were your family turning on their heels and leaving faster than you could say dank farrik. You’d ended up in some awful desert town on Jakku, scavenging in exchange for rations and trying not to think of the enormity of time that stretched on before you. Would you spend your whole life crawling through these blazing sands, digging through old ships for anything shiny like some primitive magpie?

The days stretched on forever, from right before sunrise when you awoke, to well after sunset, when the moons were suspended high above you in the star-speckled sky. You often found yourself lying awake at night, wondering where you would be right now if you had just gone with him. You’d wanted to, of course. Why wouldn’t you? But you couldn’t. There were things you couldn’t tell him. Things you could barely admit to yourself. 

A lot of your time was spent being angry at Poe. You’d loved him, and though it had never been stated aloud, you’d always felt the two of you had a future together. What that future would look like, you had no idea. But a future nonetheless. And he’d thrown it all away. You’d been doing what you could, but it wasn’t enough for him. Part of you resented him for it. Most of you resented him for it. But there was a small piece of you that had begun to surmise long before he’d packed his bags and left that you’d never be enough for him. That he'd always need something more.

You guess he’d proved it right.

Chapter Text

You roll out of bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you make your way over to the small kitchen in the home (if you could even call it that) that you share with Rey. She’d left long before you woke up, wanting to get an extra early start today. You sigh, filling a small pot with water and letting it boil. You grab a small mug from the cabinet to your left and measure out some tea leaves. The water steams as you pour it into the cup, and while it steeps you shuffle back to your sleeping area and quickly get dressed, goosebumps forming on your exposed skin as you do so. While Jakku was blazing hot during the day, the early mornings and nights were freezing, and there wasn’t exactly a way to get central heating into a godsdamned AT-AT.

Sipping your tea, you map out your route for the day. You had plans to stick to your usual schedule - look around in the Graveyard of Giants, then head to Niima Outpost, then back home. But there had been some sketchy figures hanging around the Graveyard yesterday. You decide to not tempt the fates, instead planning to try your luck in the Kelvin Ravine. It’s risky but often yields good results. Plan for the day cemented in your mind, you grab your blaster from under your bed, tuck it into your belt, and conceal it behind a fold of your tunic. Just in case.

The speeder ride to Kelvin Ravine is long, and by the time you arrive, the temperature has grown from freezing cold to sweltering hot. Beads of sweat race down your back as you steer towards an entrance to a cave that contains some old wrecks you’ve plundered in the past. You can’t help the sigh of relief that exits your mouth as you enter the blissfully cool cavern. 

Hopping down from your speeder, you listen for the telltale sounds of any fellow scavengers - you’ve learned the hard way that the fight isn’t worth it, and you’re not about to take your chances now. You pause as you hear a tapping sound. It reverberates around you, filling the space. Silent as a mouse, you lift your blaster from your belt and walk toward the source of the noise. Weapon ready, you quickly turn the corner. 

Sighing at your own stupidity, you put away your blaster. It’s just a drip of water making its way to the ground from a small opening far above you. 

The rest of the day goes as smoothly as it can. You sustain a few nasty bruises from taking a couple of rough falls, and you slice your hand open on a jagged bit of rock, but that’s all in a day’s work, you suppose. You head to Niima outpost, joints aching as your speeder jostles you around.

You arrive just as the sun is beginning its descent toward the horizon. You quickly scrub down the pieces you collected today and turn in your findings at the booth in the center of the tented area. 

Unkar Plutt scowls down at you through the barred opening of the trading desk. He surveys what you brought him, contemplating the bin of loose parts. 

“Good work,” he grumbles, and you barely hold in your shock. Somebody’s in a good mood today. “One and a half portions.” Your spirits soar as he tosses the packets towards you. Offering him a brief grateful smile, you shove the rations into your bag and head home. 

Stopping outside to brush off as much sand as possible, you take a moment to think. You hadn’t realized until now, but it had been three years today. Since you came here. A sinking feeling permeates any remnants of joy lingering in your mind from a successful day’s work. You put on an unbothered facade as you head inside. 

“I’m home,” you call out, and Rey pokes her head out from her room. 

“Oh, good! I have some...news,” she says, and you raise an eyebrow. “We have...a visitor.”

“What?”

“Just- come on, BB-8,” she says, stepping out into the kitchen across from you. An orange and white droid trails nervously behind her. You smile at it, dropping to your knees. 

“Hey, buddy,” you say quietly, but it just freezes behind your friend’s leg and begins to beep in a shrill tone. You raise your hands in surrender, standing up and leaning against the counter. “Not a people person. Got it.” ( people... person ? whatever. ) It tilts its lens up to Rey, who nods slightly. It makes its way over to you. 

Hello.

“Hey,” you say, smiling. 

I am BB-8.

“So I’ve heard,” you reply, and it lets out an amused noise. “I’m Y/N.” To your surprise, it jerks back, spinning around frantically. Confused, you glance up at Rey. She just shakes her head, as bewildered as you are. A series of panicked beeps emit from its hull, and you back up. “Sorry if I scared you, buddy,” you reassure the droid. It just tucks itself back behind Rey’s calf. She rolls her eyes, and you look back up at her. “No offense,” you say, glancing down at it. “But why is it here?” She grimaces.

“Teedo was trying to snatch it up for parts. I felt bad - it said it’s got an important task to complete. I thought it could just stay here for the night?” You nod, carding a hand through your sweat-dampened hair. 

“Cool. Can we eat? I’m starving.” She grimaces. 

“I already ate, I’m sorry - I didn’t find much today, and got a small cut like last night. Couldn’t wait.” A faint grumble from her abdomen supports the statement. You shake your head.

“ That cheating bastard ,” you mumble. Plutt was infamous for not giving scavengers their fair cut. Rey was his favorite victim. She nods despondently. “Well,” you say, grinning. “Luckily, I got enough for the both of us.” Her face lights up as you pull the ration packs out of your bag. 

“Thanks,” she says, walking over to you and wrapping you in her arms. You smile, cheeks warming. She rarely showed anyone physical affection. It was nice to know she trusted you and considered you friendly enough to do so. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

Dawn breaks early the next morning, bringing with it more unbearable heat and a glare reflecting off of the sand that makes your eyes ache as Rey and you head to Niima outpost, BB-8 anchored to the side of your friend’s speeder. It’s nearing midday when the three of you arrive in town. Rey lets the spherical droid down from her vehicle as you hop down from yours. 

“Ok, so what do we need?” she asks, and you pull the shopping list the two of you had compiled last night from your pocket. 

“Engine oil, bolts, compressors, and some new canteens to replace the ones that burst,” you read off. She nods and bends down to talk to BB-8.

“Don’t give up hope,” she says, looking at the droid. “They still might show up - whoever it is you’re waiting for.” She pauses, glancing up at the cloudless sky. “I know all about waiting.” You pick up on a subtle twitch at the corner of her mouth you’ve come to learn means she’s upset. You lay a reassuring hand on her upper arm, and she gives you a tight-lipped smile.

“Ok, buddy,” you say, addressing the droid. “We’ve got some shopping to do, you can come if you want to.” It warbles happily and speeds off toward the town. Giggling, You and Rey take after it. 

The day is spent browsing various stalls; after quickly purchasing supplies, you and Rey decide to make the most of your extremely rare day off and allot yourself 20 credits each to buy something nice. Rey buys a new shawl to wear around her shoulders during the cold nights, and you find a familiar book. BB-8 rolls over to you, pushing against your leg. It seems to have warmed up to you.

What is that?

“It’s called Mark of a Star ,” you murmur, turning the volume over in your palms. “I knew someone who loved it.” You smile sadly as you recall the long nights spent listening to Poe read stories from its pages aloud. BB-8 spins around frantically, much like he’d done last night, and you jump back, dropping the literature in shock. “What is it, Buddy?” He dispatches a small stylus from one of his orange tool trays and points to an awning a small way’s off. You look closer and see a man, a bit taller than you, watching Rey, you, and the droid intently. Your heart skips a beat, fear slicing through your chest. “Hey, Rey...?” you call out of the corner of your mouth. She looks up from her spot by a produce stand.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t look,” you say nervously. “But we’re being watched.” Her face drops, fists clenching at her side. BB-8 spins around again, emitting a quick chain of beeps and whistles too fast for you to understand. Rey, however, seems to know what the droid is attempting to communicate, and glances at you, jaw clenched. 

“Get him,” is all she says, before taking off after the man. He stumbles in shock, and sprints away, heading around to the other side of a large shed. You run to where you know he’ll end up, and find yourself face to face with him. You strike him square in the chest with the heel of your palm, and he launches back then hits the ground with a thud, out like a light. Rey rounds the corner, breathing heavily. Her eyes widen. 

“How did you-”

“He tripped,” you say quickly. She nods, and you swallow nervously. BB-8 tilts its visor up at you suspiciously. You pretend to not see it. The droid warbles exhaustedly, before deploying a small electric conductor and zapping the man’s leg. He jolts up. Rey keeps him with his back on the sand, holding her bow staff inches from his face. 

“What’s your hurry, thief?” Rey ploys, and the man’s face twists into confusion.

“What?” he exclaims, glancing up at you. You glare at him. “Thief?” BB-8 zaps him once more. “Ow! Hey, what?”

“The jacket,” Rey spits out. “This droid says you stole it.” The man emits an angry growl of protest, bracing himself on his forearms.

“I’ve had a pretty messed up day, alright? So, I’d appreciate it if you stop accusing me-” BB-8 lets out a shrill noise, zapping him for a third time. The man yells in pain, eyes filling with fury. “Stop it!”

“Where’d you get it?” she prompts, and you glance sideways at her. “It belongs to its master.” The man stares at her for a moment, then his face falls. His head lolls back, and he sighs. 

“It belonged to Poe Dameron.” You freeze. “That was his name, right?” The ground buckles under you, and you clutch at a nearby tent pillar to remain upright. “He was captured,” the man continues, looking at the droid. “By the First Order. I helped him escape, but our ship crashed.” He pauses. Your hands tremble. 

No. Please, no.

“Poe didn’t make it.” 

Tears fill your eyes, and you dash out of the covered area, wringing your hands. 

Poe.