Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

after picking up his hot sexy bf who btw is short in case you didn’t know cuz everyone mentions it every two seconds from an eminem concert he was tired. notin was a busy man with his job of digging for gold and not that fucking way retard stfu and his little emphasis on little boyfwend didn’t help this case 😭💔

norton wanted to have sex now cuz that’s how fanfics work. “hewo baby” he says with his raspy old man like voice.

“what the fuck do you want?” naib was angry as he was just singing or rapping if you wanna get technical cuz i know some pussies get real mad over minor mistakes like this the real slim shady and was interrupted. naib worships eminem more than his sweet dom sexy lover and fantasizes bout him more than his actual boy toy. he even moans marshall when him and norton fuck. what a shame.

“don’t be a fucking bitch i could leave you here”

“do it”

“no. let’s do it”

“no”

“yes”

“no”

“yes”

“no”

“yes”

“ok”

and with that the miner AND I MEAN MINER AS IN A PERSON WHO MINES AKA NORTON NOT MINOR BTW became super buff with biceps like the rock but without a bottle and a glock and ripped off naiby waibys clothes. it was a dress cuz he’s short did i mention short bottom babey.

“YOU FUCKING CUNT THAT WAS MY I WANT TO SUCK OFF EMINEM DRESS”

in response his ass gets a harsh smack and ignoring the huge rippling jiggle noron says

“NO YOU’RE THE CUNT. I CAN GIVE YOU MORE THAN EMINEM EVER CAN. give me a chance.. please..”

he starts to sniffle as tears streak down his scarred face. feeling bad neib reluctantly lets go of the matter. he was still mad though. narton would have to make up for this. and he sure will any moment.

without warning or prep ntorons giant rocket cocket massive humongous glowing glimmering ginormous penis penetrates the man they call the merc. his asshole was already super duper loose.

“fingered yourself to that 70 year old fag shady again huh?”

nagitos face flushed. “HE ISNT A FAG YOU FUCKING MAN FUCKER. and yes. yes i did.”

nertin starts to sob louder than naibs moans before pulling his super duper long magical flowing shining homeless hair cuz apparently he isn’t bald and even netease confirmed it ig. he then plays with nabs nipples with his feet while he used his other hand to move mr naib. he grows an extra arm to cover naibs mouth because he kept blabbering about his dream man to his hot bfs face.

prostater slams into naib really hard hard like hard hard and his dingle dangle hits the special spot very hard very hard super duper hard and the bottom babey moans super duper loud could have been a scream even cuz nobody can just say his prostrate was hit and he moans but have to be very specific. he jizzes right then and there.

naibs sexy irl bf lets go of his mouth expecting to hear his name only to hear “M AND M 😖😖😖😖😖” nerfun screams like a banshee and pulls out and slams into nibs mouth and and and and he cries and and and and and and cums in nibbys mouth.

“NORTON WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” naib says cum spilling out his mouth as he talks and the sight is repulsive like nitins maggots.

“finally i leave your mouth”

“that’s not funny or witty. just weird cringey and gross.”

“shut up.”

naib gasps offendedly before saying “you don’t wanna fuck with shady”

“what”

“cuz shady will fucking kill you”

“SHUT UP I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING TIRED I AM OF YOU”

nortob pulls out his secret glock he actually had the whole time. still no bottle though. and shoves it up nais ass before pulling the trigger. norton dips his tostito chip in naibs ass grease mixed with blood. don’t judge a man he forgot to buy salsa. and he’s an omg cannibal omg omg blood taste so hot ong omg omg so norton eats him and his belly bulges.

he suddenly hears a muffled yell from the pits of his stomach.

“GUESS WHOS BACK BACK AGAIN”

he puts the glock in his mouth and shoots landing in naibs head.

“i’ll just fucj make mutton cuz apparently i have a threeway and i totally am gay and not homophobic yes sure yup yep uh huh and i apparently wuv wuv him cuz my name and his last name rhymes. bye”

he says to the readers cuz he’s a literal god. the end.

Chapter Text

notron felt empty. his ass too sure but i mean inside. not that way. i mean the edgy way. despite neyeb still being digested probably he felt completely empty. his mind was gone. he laid in bed with so much yet nothing on his mind.

“wait did i get a chapter 2?”

he sighed.

“maybe i got too mad at nibe… maybe i should apologize. hey nanny. i’m sorry.”

no response.

“I’M SORRY PLEASE!!!”

“i’m dead you fucking moron.”

nortug shoots nain again.

“I’M SORRY!!!”

tears begin to fall down his dark eyes.

“whatcha crying about nort?”

nufton perked up in many places. he recognized that voice anywhere.

“mike?”

“long time no see nirtub.”

to be honest he did say he was considering fucking the acrobat and even fantasized bout it after the whole nub thing happened. even before if he were more honest. but he didn’t expect it to happen. so soon even.

“dude. i didn’t even say anything about sex.”

“fuck you. you can’t read my thoughts get out.”

“but yeah you’re right about my intentions. can’t even lie.”

“FUCK YEAH! FUCK YOU NHIGHB!”

mik raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. he crawled on top of nortun unsheathing his little cock.

“turn around.”

“what?”

“i gotta have access to your ass nartob.”

“WHAT? NO YOU’RE NOT FUCKING MY ASS. I’M AN ALPHA.”

tears start to roll down nortyns cheeks.

“oh my god ok. i don’t mind an ass pounding too i guess.”

“just please don’t tell me you’re not an eminem fan..”

“what? of fucking course not.”

nairtin felt relief wash over him.

“britney spears is tha real shit.”

“…ok. do not even think about fucking singing her songs. you don’t wanna know what happened to narb.”

“oh whatever it isn’t like you put a gun up his ass shot it and vored him and shot him after he survived. i’m sure i’ll be fine edgelord.”

“…”

nortn started reaching for his glock. he does have a bottle this time actually too.

“but who does that anyways? i’m not gonna sing during sex.”

“THANK YOU GOD!!!!”

norto slammed into mikipliers ass like it wasn’t anybody’s business.

“oh yes daddy”

“what.”

“what? i just moaned.”

“no that’s fucking retarded you faggot. i’m not your father. ofc if you were fucking your father this shit would be ok but you’re not.”

“oh sorry. used to it.”

“what?”

“nothing.”

but to nwhoreton it wasn’t nothing. it gave him a massive boner. grunting loudly he fucked mark at a fast pace.

“oh my godd yess baby”

“…fuck it.”

gertin wasn’t having none of this. he was fucking tired. and he sure as hell wasn’t a faggot. he hates gays. he is not a fudge packer. he pulls out his glock.

“mmm yess so hot gunplay? i’m soooooooo freeky!!!!!!! 😜😜😜😜”

he puts the gun to mekes head earning a moan and pulls the trigger without hesitation. he then continues to repeatedly shoot mke in the head. when he was sure he was dead he ate him too. he’s done with sex. he’s just going to stick to masturbating. he doesn’t care anymore. he had too many traumatic experiences. the end of the entire story.