Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Commission by @jmoart214

"I'm all fired up now!"

When Lucy Heartfilia had stumbled into the port of Hargeon so long ago, she had never really expected to be swept away by fairies into a world of chance encounters. It had been her dream, of course. The runaway heiress to her father's fortune, the cliche rich girl running from the burdens of her family's wealth, wanting more than the walls of her courtyard and proper lessons to fulfill her. Her fearless soul had led her into more trouble than she could name, but the company she kept wasn't exactly known for being on their best behavior either.

That's probably why she fit so well into Fairy Tail. Even during that first day of walking into the guildhall, an all-out brawl beginning within moments of arrival, she had melded seamlessly into one of them. In the blink of an eye, she had become acquainted with their strange habits and unruly behavior, but it had been fun and exciting. She never knew what the day would bring, and that's what she loved most about her home. It was a never-ending adventure.

Blonde hair tumbled over her face as Lucy shifted, her cheek pressed against the ground as fingers curled around the loose red-stained gravel. Her dark eyes blearily glanced around at what had survived. The blackness of the night had descended, lit only by the glow of scattered fires rising from the rubble, and the pale moonlight partially obscured behind the clouds. She felt the sweltering heat accompanying the ringing silence as a warm wind swept through what remained of the small, cheerful town.

A breath filled with soot, she coughed, tongue rolling over the metallic taste in her mouth. Her head pounded and her eyes stung from the sweat and blood that trailed down her forehead. Something hard dug into her ribs as a heavy weight pressed against her leg. She winced, brown eyes surveying in an attempt to make sense of up or down.

Everything had gone so very, very wrong.

Lucy groaned as she fought to move to her hands and knees, feeling her limbs shake with the effort. She managed to pull her leg from beneath a piece of crumbled building and ignored the pain that rocketed through every part of her body as her teeth sank into her lip to hold back a shrill cry.

"N-Natsu," she called hoarsely, finally getting her voice to work. Her eyes swept the battlefield for the dragon slayer, worry lines creasing her brow. "Natsu?"

Her chest constricted painfully with each intake of the humid evening air, her throat burning from the dark smoke curling away from the fires surrounding her. She looked down, clenching her hands into fists slowly and then releasing them. Every muscle in her body trembled, completely drained of magic energy. No wonder she felt so incredibly weak.

Lucy let her gaze wander to what lay before her, the bodies of townsfolk buried beneath rubble or half-charred from the blasts, the shops and roadways almost completely demolished. Magic mobiles had been turned over and crushed into mere metal fragments, almost unrecognizable from their original forms. How… How could this have happened?

Somehow managing to pull herself up on what remained of nearby framework, Lucy tested out her strength to stand. A large gash ran along her right thigh, sticky with dried blood; her clothes were tattered and torn, strung together by mere threads, and exposing her wounded flesh. She paused, attempting to will away her pounding headache and the searing agony with a few deep breaths. Her mind worked to recall what had happened, her stomach twisting in knots with each flashing memory. She closed her eyes against the burn of tears, and steeled her resolve. She needed to… She had to…

Grinding her teeth against the ebb and flow of the pain, she pushed off the framework and took a step, and then another, as she began searching through what was left of the town. She limped over collapsed buildings to the town square, her gait that was smooth only that morning was faltering and uneven. Her ponytail hung raggedly, loose hair falling over her features that contorted with effort.

Lucy winced as she stepped on something sharp and looked down, just now realizing that both of her shoes had somehow gone missing. "E-Erza?" she tried screaming, her voice straining with the effort. "Gray?"

It had been such a simple mission, promising enough jewels to satisfy her rent for the month. Her team had taken the job, minus Wendy who stayed behind with Charle, thankful for the reprieve after their battle with the dragons that followed the Grand Magic Games. What she wouldn't give for Wendy to be there now…

Lucy's vision blurred as tears again filled her eyes. "Happy?" she cried out meekly for the blue exceed. Even his annoying comments would be better than the eerie silence.

A whimper escaped her lips as she realized she was utterly alone.

She paused in her walking to regain her breath, eyes sweeping over the once green lands of the earth, now no more than ash and charcoal. The air was heavy with the smell of burnt flesh and smoke hung in a haze that partially obscured the moon. What remained of the town stood like skeletons, a barren wasteland, and empty now that destruction had taken whatever the fire didn't. All while the oppressive heat rained down like the breath of hell.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Lucy tried to stop the shaking in her limbs, the silence of the night sending a chill down her spine. Jaw rooted, she realized the town around her reminded her so much of the battle with the dragons - the destruction, the fires, the derelict shells of what remained. The only difference was that there were no battle cries in the distance or bursts of magic energy. There was no one.

Suddenly, she heard it, a voice ringing out over the carnage. "Princess!"

She turned and immediately felt relief at seeing the celestial maiden in the distance. "Virgo!" she breathed, her cracked lips pulling into a smile. Although battered and bruised, her spirit looked relatively unharmed. "You came."

Wide, cerulean eyes gazed at her as Lucy stumbled closer. "Of course," she responded gravely, her voice absent of her usual chipper attitude. She pointed to her left. "I have located the stripper."

A few yards away, Gray sat against corrugated iron, dark blue eyes meeting her own as she approached. "L-Lucy?" he rasped out, wincing as he shifted and blood pooled from a wound to his abdomen. He clutched it tightly, his chest heaving as he drew in shuddering breaths.

She gave him a shaky smile, tears coming to her eyes. "Hey, Gray," she greeted quietly. "I'm so happy you're okay."

He drew his eyes to the ground, his gaze suddenly hard, as he shook his head. "Y-Yeah," he choked out, clenching his hand into a tight fist. "But Erza…"

The celestial mage's stomach dropped as her wide eyes swept the surrounding area, and her gaze finally fell on the crumpled body of their comrade. "Erza!" She staggered over to where her friend lay, her thoughts racing. "Erza!"

Falling to her knees, Lucy crawled to the requip mage's side. Her eyes fixated on Erza's blank stare, her scarlet hair forming a bloody halo around her head. Her armor had been broken beyond repair, laying in shards on the ground beside her, slowly disappearing as its magic faded. "Erza?" she called aimlessly, trying not to think about the ashen color of her skin.

She reached out to brush a stray piece of hair from her cheek. She was cold - the warmth already leaving. Still, Lucy rested her head against her chest, free of its armor, and listened to the empty cavity that held no beating heart. The life that had dwelt within her was gone, and she reluctantly knew what had become of the famous Titania.

"S-She's gone," she whispered brokenly, tears spilling from wide, disbelieving eyes.

"No!" she heard Gray shout from behind her, his voice screaming with denial. "Not Erza! She can't be!"

Lucy swallowed thickly, her mind reeling as she battled to stand. Gray's hysterical cries blurred to a monotonous white noise. Fear suddenly clutched her heart as she murmured, "Natsu," before turning and running toward the last place she thought she had seen the dragon slayer.

"Princess!" Virgo called after her, worried for her mistress's well-being.

"Stay here with Gray!" Lucy instructed over her shoulder, ignoring the agony shooting through her core with every step she took. Tripping and bumbling over the carnage, she continued to shout her partner's name. Brown eyes swept the expanse of the battlefield, searching for any hint of where he may be.

Then she saw it, a flash of pink amidst the brownstone. Among the rubble lay the dragon slayer, covered by a slab broken from a building.

"Natsu!" she yelled, a deep layer of terror in her voice. He laid incredibly still. A twisted piece of shrapnel, cemented to the slab of concrete, pierced his chest, as blood ran freely in thick scarlet rivers before soaking into the fabric of his long overcoat. Lucy fell to her knees and struggled to push the concrete off of him to no avail - her shaking limbs and the growing pain in her shoulder proving just how weak she was.

Onyx eyes turned to look at her, prompting a small smile from her lips. Natsu grinned, and she felt her heart ease for the briefest of moments, until she saw the blood bubbling from his mouth. It slipped down his chin and melted into the white scales of his scarf. Panic gripped her as she quickly pulled his head onto her lap, cradling his broken form.

"Natsu?!"

The fire mage's pink hair stuck to his forehead slick with sweat and so Lucy swept it back, smoothing her fingers through his hair as if that might keep it all together; feeling the coolness of his skin. His natural golden skin had sunken in tone to something so lifeless it scared her just to look at him.

"Help!" she cried out, her eyes lifting to look for a sign of life amongst the wreckage. "Virgo! Gray! Somebody help me!"

"L-Luce…" he spoke, his voice choked with the thick blood that gurgled from his throat.

Her wide eyes turned back to her partner. His body shook in her arms and all she could do was stroke his hair and hold his hand. It barely seemed enough, yet his body calmed with her touch.

"Shh, don't try to talk," she soothed. "It's going to be okay. You're all right. I'm going to fix this, okay? Just hold on."

But as their gazes met, an understanding silently passed between them that she didn't want to believe. They both knew that if it could be fixed, help would already be there, or she would be doing anything other than making promises on her knees.

Her eyes ran over the jagged hole in his chest and she covered it with her trembling hand, watching the dark red trickle over her pale skin. She squeezed her eyes shut to thwart the tears, and leaned down, listening to his breath, shallow and fast, slip from his lips.

"Natsu," she whimpered. "You-You can't-"

He caught her hand and squeezed, a far too feeble touch. "S-Sorry…"

She choked on a gasping sob, shoving the tears from her cheeks. "Natsu… Stop it, please. You're going to be okay. Look at me!" His eyes met hers. "You're going to be okay!"

"D-Didn't mean to make you c-cry." He drew in a sharp intake of air.

She defiantly shook her head. "Don't say that," she admonished fiercely. "Don't talk as if this is the end."

Natsu smiled so briefly with a wide toothy grin, making her heart skip a beat, before his breathing became a noisy rattle. His eyes drifted, becoming half-lidded, and then the light faded from his eyes until they were dark and empty.

Lucy, wide-eyed with incredulity, stared blankly at him, her fingers shakily coming to rest on his cheeks. "N-No," she whispered, blonde hair falling as she shook her head to deny the truth in front of her. She placed a hand over his chest that didn't rise or fall with breath. "No, no, no! Natsu! Come on, you can't do this! You can't die on me!"

She squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face into the crook of his neck, feeling the familiar scales of his scarf rub against her cheek. The celestial mage choked and sputtered through her tears, her anguished cries falling on the ears of the dead. She couldn't breathe or even hear the simplicity of her heart racing in her chest.

The pain was like a knife being twisted in her chest. It shot up fast, erasing every thought from her head and paralyzing her body. Apparently she screamed, but she didn't recall that part, only the pain. Black filled the edges of her vision as the rest of the world fell away, her breath coming in ragged, shallow gasps.

"Lucy!"

Suddenly, arms were around her, pulling her upright on her knees. Orange filled her vision as eyes skewed by azure-tinted glasses glanced over her with concern.

"Loke?" she whispered, vaguely recognizing the lion spirit.

"Hey there, Beautiful," he greeted, granting her a shaky smile. "You scared me there."

He must have come on his own.

"Can you stand?"

She listlessly nodded her head as he assisted her to her feet, curling an arm around her waist. "N-Natsu…" Her voice broke as she gasped on her tears.

"Come on," he coerced her gently, pulling her arm around his shoulders. "We have to get out of here."

Lucy stumbled across the remnants of town feeling utterly numb. Her heart squeezed as she almost fell over, saved only by Loke's presence. He casted worried eyes in her direction, but she ignored him, barely able to string a thought together. They had to get back to the guild, she knew, because that was where Wendy was. The sky dragon slayer could heal their fallen friends. She could save them.

Silently, Lucy tumbled. Loke barely had enough time to shoot out calloused hands. "Lucy!" he called, holding her upright. "Lucy!"

She didn't hear him, feeling as if the breath had been knocked from her lungs. Then all of a sudden, the ground disappeared beneath her feet and she was curled against the lion spirit's chest. "We-We need to get back to the guild," she murmured.

She felt him nod. "Yeah," he agreed. "That's right, Princess."

"They need help. They need to come home."

He stiffened beneath her, but pressed onward. "We'll come back for them," he assured her after a moment. "But we can't carry them all the way there right now. You and Gray are injured. You need Wendy-"

"They need Wendy!" she protested defiantly, her head pounding as if hit by a train. She glared up at him, wincing with fierce brown eyes. "Can't you s-see that? We need to get Wendy! She can heal them!"

Loke spared her a brief glance, his lips pulled into a thin line. She watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed thickly. "Okay," he finally accepted. "We'll bring them home, Lucy."

Satisfied with his response that he would save their friends, she let unconsciousness take hold, her last image consisting of Virgo with concerned blue eyes.

Chapter Text

Commission by @dags-sz

Humming to herself, Mirajane swept a cloth over the bar top, cleaning up the remnants of the party that had carried over from the day before. Some of her guildmates still hung around, most passed out drunk in various places, but a few, like Cana, were still lively.

"Another round!" the card mage called from the end of the bar, where her and a drunk Macao sat.

With an airy laugh, Mirajane moved to grab another drink from the tap. "I think Macao has had enough," she mused, setting a mug down in front of Cana. "He may already be passed out."

An incoherent grumble from the elder mage was her only response. The brunette grinned. "See? He's not down for the count yet!"

"Oh goodness. Romeo is going to be so upset with me. I promised him I'd watch his father's drinking," Mirajane deplored.

"What are you, his keeper? Come on, it's a celebration! Let him slide."

"The celebration started three days ago back in Crocus."

Cana pouted. "Way to kill the party, Mira."

Suddenly, the guildhall doors burst open, slamming into the walls behind it, and startling the few patrons who were still somewhat conscious. Mirajane's blue eyes rose, a smile on her face, expecting to see Team Natsu arriving back from the job they took that morning, but what she saw made her freeze in her tracks, a hand covering her mouth to suppress a gasp.

Loke stood in the doorway, his normally clean-kept suit tattered and torn, with an unconscious Lucy draped in his arms. Blood covered her face and clothes, soaking into the lion's white shirt. Beside them stood her other spirit, Virgo, with a barely conscious Gray settled on her back.

"We need help!" Loke shouted, his wide eyes shifting over what remained of the Fairy Tail mages at such a late hour.

Mirajane pushed down her fear and took charge. "Bring them to the infirmary!" she commanded, pointing down the hallway.

"What happened?" her little sister, Lisanna, asked, bustling out from the back room at the sound of Loke's cry.

"No time," Loke urged, already moving down the hallway. "We need Wendy!"

"On it!" Lisanna disappeared out the door toward the girl's dormitory to fetch the sky dragon slayer.

"I'll go grab Master." The barmaid was gone in a flash.

Loke heard a shout from Cana before she disappeared out the guildhall doors as he stepped into the infirmary. He laid Lucy down on one of the beds, brushing a few blonde strands of hair out of her face. Adrenaline pulsed through his veins as his mind ran a mile a minute. This wasn't supposed to happen! This isn't how it was supposed to be!

"Big Brother?" Virgo called from where she had laid Gray on another bed parallel to Lucy. "What are we going to do?"

The lion spirit shook his head, hazel eyes looking at his mage forlornly. "It's going to kill her," he murmured, his brows knitted tightly together. "It's going to kill both of them."

She folded her hands in front of her, blue eyes peering wistfully at the blonde. "They're going to ask about them."

"Then we don't tell them," he affirmed. "At least, not yet. Not until they've healed some. Let Wendy work her magic; let Lucy and Gray be oblivious for a while before they have to face what happened."

Virgo nodded, giving a small bow. "As you wish." In that moment she understood her assistance was no longer needed, and the drain she was placing on Lucy's magic had become an impediment. In a flash of golden light, she was gone.

"What happened?!" Wendy shouted as she dashed into the room, dressed in her pajamas and blue hair an absolute mess. She stopped in her tracks as she took in the sight of Gray and Lucy - both battered, bloody, and unconscious. Her brown eyes wide, her hands flew to her mouth as she gasped. "Oh, no!"

"My word," Charle chimed in as she flew in behind Wendy. "What on Earth happened here?"

Lisanna appeared beside them with a deep frown. "Where's Natsu and Happy? And Erza?" she demanded.

Loke ignored her. "Wendy, please."

She glanced between her charges before finally settling on Gray being the worst of the two. "I-I'll do my best," she assured, hands hovering over the wound in his abdomen and igniting a soft glow.

The youngest Strauss sibling turned fierce eyes on Loke. "They were only gone on a simple mission! How did this happen?!"

Just then, Makarov Dreyer entered the room, followed by an anxious Mirajane. The small man shuffled over to where his adopted children lay, worry lines creasing his brows. "They were on a mission to capture some bandits in the next town over," he said, his expression grim. He turned accusing eyes on Lucy's spirit. "Explain."

"Let's allow Wendy to work," Loke instructed, gesturing toward the hallway. He, Mirajane, and the guild master exited the room, closing the door behind them and leaving the others to anxiously watch over Lucy and Gray. Loke exhaled deeply. "I'm not sure of the whole story," he admitted quietly. "Lucy didn't call me to her aide until the battle was already in full swing."

"Battle?" Makarov echoed. "What battle?"

Loke leaned against the wall, folding his arms over his chest. "I don't know what happened, but when she called me out, three demons from the books of Zeref were ravaging the town. There were fires and explosions - complete chaos."

"That's not right," Mirajane said, shaking her head. "How did a mission to capture bandits turn into fighting demons?"

He pulled his lips into a tight line. "I don't know. What I do know is that I was no match for whoever they were. Lucy was already low on magic energy by the time I was summoned. It seemed like they were giving it everything they had, but I could tell the fight was wearing them down. I didn't last long before I had to go back to the celestial realm."

"What of Natsu?" the master questioned. "And Erza?"

Loke dipped his gaze, his hands clenched tighter around himself. "They're dead."

Makarov stayed quiet for a moment, tears falling down his cheeks as he tried to discern the news. "My-My children…"

Loke's voice quivered as he spoke. "Th-There was nothing we could do," he whispered. "They managed to kill one of the demons off, but lost their own lives in the process."

A hand flew to Mirajane's mouth, tears springing into her eyes. "N-No!" she gasped, her legs giving way as she collapsed to her knees. "They-They can't be-" She drew in shallow sharp breaths, her body trembling. "H-How can you be sure?"

"When… When I was finally able to return with my own magic to make sure Lucy was okay, I found her kneeling over Natsu and…" He took a deep breath to steady himself and cleared his throat. "Lucy found Erza, too."

Makarov choked back a sob, his eyes full of fury. "How could this have happened? I don't understand! Who dared to hurt my children?!"

Loke adjusted his glasses. "Like I said, I'm not entirely sure. The threat had gone by the time I returned, and I don't know their whereabouts. I'm sure Lucy and Gray could tell you more, but I don't think we should tell them anything until Wendy has done what she can. They need their rest. Let them live with ignorance for tonight."

Blue eyes swimming with tears gazed up at them. "Wh-What are we supposed to do?" Mirajane whispered, her heart constricting painfully in her chest.

The master exhaled deeply, swiping tears from his eyes. "We need to bring them home. Let Wendy work her sky magic. I'll send the Thunder Legion."

"What about the rest of the guild?" Loke asked.

"There's nothing they can do right now." He sniffled, gathering his composure. "Allow them one last night of rest. Tomorrow…"

He let his sentence trail, not daring to finish it. He pushed his way back into the infirmary. Mirajane shook her head from where she had crumpled to the floor, her eyes wide and vision blurred.

"Erza… Natsu…" she whispered, squeezing the cloth of her dress over where her heart beat. Her body felt like lead, her tongue tasted like cough syrup, bitter and unwanted. It felt like deja vu, like the night she had lost Lisanna right before her eyes, leaving the guild broken and destroyed. They had lost one of their youngest mages, and it had rippled through everyone, leaving a scar upon their home.

But this… Losing two of their most treasured wizards in a single night… How could they survive this? Natsu… Erza… They were the forefront of the guild. They made everyone laugh and feel whole. Now who would pick up the pieces? Who would be there to make them laugh again?

Mirajane peered up at Loke, her body numb with the thoughts threatening to drown her. "Loke," she mumbled earnestly, needing him to wake her from this nightmare.

The lion spirit slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "I'm not going to tell you everything's okay," he mumbled, averting his eyes. "It'll be a long time before it is again."

With that, he disappeared, leaving a glitter of golden light to rain down on what remained of a disheveled and broken fairy.

The battlefield lay quiet, for now it was a graveyard for the unburied. Their corpses lay among the crumbled buildings and forget-me-nots. The sun had only risen and the wind still blew, but somewhere, families waited in vain. It seemed as if the majority of the townsfolk had not survived, leaving the rest to escape into the countryside.

Wide amber eyes swept over the wreckage. He heard a small gasp beside him, and a murmur of "holy hell". They had been sent on a rescue mission, but from what they had been told, it was more of a retrieval - to bring their fallen brethren home.

"Fan out," Laxus ordered, his voice cool and collected compared to the dread eating away at his stomach. "Search the area. And stay alert. We don't know where the demons have wandered off to."

Although hesitant, the Thunder Legion gave their nods of assent before each taking off in a different direction. Laxus began stepping over the wasteland, recalling the path in which Loke had described, where he was almost sure to find a pink-haired dragon slayer in his eternal slumber.

The thought made him sick.

How could that feisty kid, with so much fighting spirit, be bested by some demons? It just didn't seem plausible. Laxus had called Loke a liar, refused his grandfather's insistency, until he decided he needed to see it for himself. He could never believe Natsu was dead unless there was a body to prove it.

"Come on, kid," he grumbled, his eyes sweeping over the expanse of the battlefield. "Where are you?"

It took almost an hour for Laxus to find Natsu, just passed the town square. He lay in a pool of his own cold blood, his eyes half-lidded and his face ashen. Nausea swirled unrestrained in Laxus' empty stomach. His head swam with half-formed regrets and his heart felt as if his blood had become tar, struggling to keep a steady beat.

"Natsu…" Laxus almost choked on his name, falling to his knees beside him. He pushed the concrete off his chest and curled an arm around the dragon slayer's head, feeling the ice cold of his skin, the stiffness of his limbs.

The bastard had died with a smile on his face.

His vision blurred with tears, and he suddenly couldn't breathe. How… How had this happened? The Salamander, the Fire Dragon Slayer, dead…? He couldn't wrap his mind around this new reality.

A piercing scream tore his gaze away from the boy in his arms to the direction Evergreen had wandered off in. He carefully wrapped Natsu in his fur-lined jacket and pulled him to his chest as he stood. The walk to where he heard his comrade scream from seemed like a lifetime, his footsteps heavy and staggered.

Evergreen knelt in the middle of the rubble, her body trembling from her sobs. Freed and Bickslow arrived just as Laxus did, their wide eyes glancing between the bundle in the thunder mage's arms and the corpse Evergreen cried over.

"It-It can't be," Freed muttered, taking a step back as if he had been punched in the gut. "It can't possibly be."

Bickslow pulled his helmet free from his face, his mouth dropping open in an expression of stunned surprise. "No way…"

Evergreen turned to look at their leader, dark brown eyes overflowing with tears. "T-Titania is gone," she cried. "The Qu-Queen of the Fairies is dead!"

Laxus didn't need to check for himself. Just the image of Erza's broken body was enough to confirm that she was gone. He clenched his jaw, trying to keep the tears at bay as he gripped Natsu tighter in his arms.

"Cover her," he instructed quietly, nodding to the coat Evergreen wore. "Let's bring our family home."

"Wh-What about Happy?" Freed questioned, his voice breathy and uneven, as he remembered the blue exceed was still missing. "Has anyone found him?"

Everyone shook their heads. "I'll go look for him," Laxus offered, placing Natsu gently on the ground. He didn't need to voice to his comrades that it was doubtful the cat had survived. If he had, he would have been by Natsu's body, or with Lucy upon her return.

That morning, there was nothing but black smoke to line the glare of the sun.

"They're going to be suspicious."

Makarov focused his attention on the woman who entered his office. Mirajane looked exhausted, her eyes red and swollen, as if she had been up all night crying. He was sure that she had been. He hadn't been able to sleep either.

"I know," he replied to her comment, clenching the pen tighter in his hand. He had mindlessly been signing off on paperwork half the night, the only thing keeping his buried anger in check. "But Loke said-"

"To hell with what Loke said," the take-over mage spat, her eyes fierce. "Erza and Natsu are dead. Happy is missing, meanwhile you leave Gray and Lucy, their teammates, in the dark?!"

The master furrowed his brows and gave her a hard stare. "It's not only my decision to make. They need time to recover from their wounds."

"What about the rest of the guild?" she argued, tears gathering in her eyes. "Are you going to leave them in the dark as well?"

He sighed, dropping his pen and running his hands over his balding head. "What am I going to say to them? I don't have all the answers. I don't even know what exactly happened or who was behind this."

She took a deep breath to reel in her anger. "We are a family." Her voice quivered. "We… We have just lost two of our own. There is no avoiding that pain. This will tear the entire guild apart. We need each other!"

Makarov averted his gaze to the window, watching as birds flew by. It was still early, but most of the guild would be arriving in the hall for breakfast. As is, he wouldn't be able to hide the news of their family for long. There had been other members at the guild last night, albeit drunk, but they would be wondering what exactly had occurred. As far as they knew, something terrible had happened and the Thunder Legion had been sent to help.

"I hate to see my children suffering." He felt his throat tighten as he drew in a breath. "It kills me to see it."

Mirajane choked back a sob. "We-We need you, Master," she cried, folding her arms around herself. "We-We can't get through this without you."

The old man stayed quiet for a moment. Regret washed over him, the what-ifs and should've-beens running through his mind. How he longed to go back and take a different path, to stop them from taking that mission, tell them he would cover Lucy's rent so they could rest properly. But now… it was impossible. There was no way to turn back the hands of the clock. There was no way to make it right. And he knew the guilt would eat away at him for the rest of his days.

"All right," he finally agreed quietly. He reluctantly stood from his chair and made his way to Mirajane's side. "We'll go inform Lucy and Gray first. Then the rest of the guild."

She swiped at her tears. "Of course."

"I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to break the news." He sighed deeply, folding his hands behind his back.

"Do what you always do. Speak from the heart."

"What could I say? Something poetic and beautiful?" He shook his head. "I can't about this. Some situations are too hard to glorify."

And a man whose stature was so large in every sense of the word… suddenly looked so small.

The sky was dark and explosive.

"This isn't time to falter!"

Terror widened her bloodshot eyes.

"Please, just hold on a little longer!"

She felt burning in her chest and electricity in her veins.

"Lucy!"

She stood frozen, lips half open, as ash fell from the sky in flakes of grey.

"Lucy?!"

"Lucy?"

Her eyes rolled open, blinking blearily to clear the fog of sleep, only to be met with a look of concern. Wendy hovered over her bedside with her hands clasped gently around her own. Apparently she had been restless in her sleep, the sheets tangled around her and soaked with a cold sweat.

"Where…?" she tried to ask, her voice hoarse. She licked her dry, cracked lips.

"It's okay. You're at Fairy Tail," the dragon slayer explained with a reassuring smile. "You're safe."

Lucy's chest heaved as she breathed heavily, her nightmares fading as she focused on the stale walls of the infirmary. Her head whirled as she struggled to sit up, leaning against the headboard behind her, trying to remember how she had gotten there in the first place.

"Ow," she groaned, wincing and curling an arm around her waist, which had been wrapped in bandages. Her entire body ached, and no matter how she moved, it was impossibly painful. "That really packs a punch."

Wendy frowned. "I'm sorry. I'm still recovering from everything that happened in Crocus. I wasn't able to do much, but Porlyusica has been helping me."

"Porlyusica's here?" the blonde questioned, furrowing her brows. If their medicinal advisor was here, they must be in pretty bad shape.

"Yeah, Jet brought her back last night."

Brown eyes turned to the other bed, taking in the unconscious Gray. He didn't seem much better off than she did. "Is he all right?"

"He'll be okay," Wendy promised. "He just needs to rest. You were both so depleted of magic energy, it'll be a while before you regain your strength."

She grasped her celestial keys from the nightstand, fiddling with them curiously, and feeling them warm with comfort from her touch. "What happened? I remember going on a job, but…"

Wendy shifted her feet nervously. "I'll go let Master know you're awake." She quickly scampered out of the room, leaving the celestial mage alone.

Alone.

Lucy swept her gaze over the infirmary once more. Usually when she was injured, she'd have a pink-haired dragon slayer religiously at her bedside. Not often did he leave until he knew she was okay and out of danger. Where was he, anyways? Or Happy and Erza for that matter?

And then flashes from the night before came back full force, making her gasp for breath - the job, the bandits, the sudden appearance of Zeref's demons, and the long fight that ensued afterwards. She remembered waking up after the entire town had been destroyed, finding Virgo and Gray, being comforted by Loke…

Because Erza and Natsu…

Hot tears sprang into her eyes as Lucy shook her head in denial. There was no way! Erza and Natsu couldn't be dead. They were Erza and Natsu! Some of the strongest mages in the guild! No way could some monsters be the end of them.

"We'll bring them home, Lucy."

Loke's soothing words replayed, and she felt her heart ease. That's right. He promised he would bring their friends home, where Wendy could heal them. She smiled. Of course. What had she been thinking? Erza and Natsu were probably already in the hall eating. The two of them bounced back quickly enough.

She pulled her lips into a tight line, drawing her attention to Gray. His ashen complexion and the sweat beading his brow spoke of pain. She only hoped it would pass sooner rather than later.

Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion hit her and she sighed deeply. The battle they had been in really did a number on her. She had called on nearly every spirit in her arsenal, including Gemini to perform Urano Metria after she ultimately had to call on Loke. Even the Magic of the Stars hadn't been enough to destroy the demons.

But a nagging thought pulled at her, the image of a fire dragon slayer coming to mind - a silly grin, blood dripping down his chin, an apology, and a shuddered breath. She swallowed thickly, remembering a bloody halo framing a queen, a cry of denial from her comrade, and the comforting embrace of a lion.

Every breath she expelled felt hollow in her chest. Her eyes turned as the door to the infirmary opened, revealing a small, elderly man and a silver-haired barmaid. "Ah, it's good to see you awake," he greeted.

Makarov's expression spoke volumes, and her heart dropped to her stomach. "Master… Mira…," Lucy mumbled as tears came to her eyes. Her chest constricted painfully, breathing becoming hard. She didn't want to ask - didn't want them to confirm what she already knew.

Their master stood at her bedside, his usually warm eyes hardened with grief. "Lucy, my dear. How are you feeling?"

She shook her head dismissively, wide eyes staring at her guildmates with building panic. "He's… He's gone, isn't he?" she whispered. "Him and Erza and Happy…"

Mirajane sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand gently, She rubbed soothing circles over her skin with the pad of her thumb, but stayed silent, giving Lucy all the confirmation she needed.

This isn't real.

"I should've never let you take that mission. The outcome is my burden to bear," Makarov explained, knowing his words held little weight if he could even begin to suspect what Lucy had witnessed. "I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault." He sighed deeply, wanting to further ask her exactly what had transpired on that battlefield, but seeing the crumbling expression on her face, he knew it wasn't the time. First, they needed to grieve.

The emptiness in Lucy's heart began to consume her. Brown eyes welled up and tears fell down her bandaged face, lips trembling.

This can't be real.

Mirajane folded her hand over Lucy's tighter, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Natsu, Erza, and Happy," the takeover mage spoke, her voice hitching. "They didn't make it. They all died in battle."

At first there was silence - a misty haze upon the horizons of Lucy's mind. That's where she kept her emotions bottled up. That was… until now. She could feel the hard, painful lump in the back of her throat as the tears fell faster. Slowly, her breathing hollowed itself and a small, but intense pain struck the top nerve in her head.

Her upper body and shoulders wracked with every sob that forced its way out, chest rising and falling unevenly as she gasped for breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, covering her mouth with her hand as the tears dripped between her fingers. Before she knew it there was shouting, it was hers, and yet it seemed too distant. Time had fast forward. She couldn't remember the briefest of moments. All she saw was her own fists grasping at her celestial keys for comfort, her tear-stained sheets. She even recognized her own voice repeating, "No, no, no!"

Then there were arms around her and she was being smothered by the scent of cake batter and alcohol. She faintly heard a soothing voice in her ear as her body shook with heartache.

Please don't let me believe this is real!

It couldn't have lasted long though, the screaming. A rushing sound filled her ears and all she knew were her hysterical cries that shook the infirmary walls. Deep down, she had known Natsu had died. He had taken his final breath in her arms with a smile on his face. But she hadn't wanted to believe it. If she didn't believe it, it couldn't be true.

But here was someone else, someone else outside the realms of her mind that confirmed one of her deepest fears. Natsu… Erza… Happy… Their teammates. Their friends. Their family. They were all gone.

It took awhile for Lucy to finally calm down, for her to lift her face from Mirajane's chest, which had been soaked with her tears. She glanced between them, their expressions twisted into one she was sure mirrored her own - filled with grief and despair.

And then her gaze landed on Gray, who remained blissfully unconscious through it all. "Wh-Where are they?" Lucy croaked, her voice hoarse from crying.

"The Thunder Legion just brought them home," Makarov explained. "They will have a proper Fairy Tail send off."

"Send off," she echoed, scoffing bitterly as she pushed the tears from her cheeks. "Sounds like they're just leaving the guild."

Mirajane squeezed her hand affectionately, her own face red and blotchy from crying, as she turned her attention to Makarov. "Everyone from the guild will be arriving soon," she reminded quietly. "They'll have questions."

He nodded solemnly. "I'll have to make an announcement. I've already started on the arraignments."

Lucy hiccupped, feeling a new wave of tears sting her eyes. "I-I can't…"

The barmaid looked at her with concern. "Lucy, I'm here for you. I can stay with you if you want."

She shook her head, blonde hair falling over her shoulders, as she pulled her hand free from Mirajane's grasp. "No, you need to go with Master," she reasoned. "I… I want to be alone."

There was hesitation, and then she nodded robotically. She opened her mouth to speak, but they both knew there was nothing to say.

This was when the heroes, armed with the strength and courage of old, dueled against the ancient evil…

And lost.

Chapter Text

Commission by @cogamori

The first thing Juvia noticed upon entering the guildhall that morning was that Gray was nowhere to be found. More often than not, he arrived earlier than she, prompting a touch of concern as to where the ice-make mage could be. He had taken a job the day before, so there was a chance he could be sleeping in after arriving home late.

The second thing she noticed was the hum of electricity among her fellow guildmates. They gathered at the tables closest to the stage, everyone murmuring amidst themselves. Knitting her brows with worry, the bluenette weaved her way over to where Wendy sat.

"Good morning, Wendy," she greeted the young girl with a small smile. "Why is everyone so lively?"

With a drained look she offered, "Hello, Juvia," before dropping her gaze to the floor. "I-I guess you haven't heard yet."

Blue eyes glanced between her and Charle, who perched beside her with a hollow expression. "Hear what?"

"Well, Team Natsu went on a mission yesterday and-"

Her heart missed a beat, terrifying worst-case scenarios coming to her mind with Gray's absence. "Where's Gray?" Juvia demanded anxiously. "Has he returned?"

Wendy quickly nodded, setting her panic at ease. "Yeah, he came home. He's in the infirmary right now. I'm not sure what happened, but he and Lucy were hurt pretty bad."

Her eyes shifted distractedly over to the hallway leading to their clinic. "Maybe Juvia should go check on him."

"Absolutely not," a woman interrupted before she could scamper off to his side. Porlyusica suddenly appeared with her ever present scowl. "He needs to rest. Leave him be."

"O-Oh… Ah… right," Juvia stammered, feeling a blush come to her cheeks. She still felt anxious, but knew better than to question the elder woman's words. "Will he be all right?"

"He'll be fine. He's a stubborn fool."

The water mage breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

"Hey, you guys!" Levy called as she bounced over, Team Shadowgear hot on her heels.

"Oh, good morning," Wendy greeted.

"What happened last night?" the solid-script mage asked, concerned lines creasing her brow as she took note of their medicinal advisor. "Jet told me he had to fetch Porlyusica."

"Gray and Lucy were badly injured," Juvia explained. "What happened is still unclear."

"Cana didn't offer an explanation either when she came to get me," Jet said, running a hand through his hair. "I've never seen her so sober."

Levy fiddled with the hem of her dress nervously, giving Wendy a questioning glance. "Is Lu okay?"

"She'll be fine," she affirmed with a small nod. "They both just need some rest for now."

"What's everyone buzzin' about?" Gajeel questioned as he sauntered over, keeping his eyes peeled on the rest of the guildhall. "Ain't like them this early in the morning."

Panther Lily hopped onto the table next to Charle. "We're usually never here this early," he pointed out.

"Master wants to make an announcement." Cana strolled over, her customary barrel of alcohol propped against her hip and a soft warmth blooming upon her cheeks. "It's not good."

"Why do you say that?" Levy asked.

"I saw Lucy and Gray come in last night. It was pretty bad."

"You don't think something terrible happened, do you?" Wendy fiddled with her hands anxiously.

Gajeel folded his arms over his chest. "Didn't they go on a mission with Salamander?"

"Yeah, along with Erza and Happy." Levy's hazel eyes quickly scanned their gathered guildmates. "But I haven't seen either of them all morning."

"The Thunder Legion was sent out, too," Cana mumbled. "This doesn't sit well with me."

The guildhall suddenly hushed as Makarov entered the room, climbing up onto the stage in order to be better seen and heard. Mirajane stood beside him, but her usual cheerful smile had been replaced by a deep frown. Her eyes were rimmed red and her cheeks were flushed, making it apparent to everyone that she had been crying. Levy exchanged an anxious glance with those beside her.

Their master cleared his throat, his eyes noticeably misty. "My heart is heavy today," he began, his voice thick with tears. "I come to you not as your guild master, but as a member of the family we hold dear. Unfortunately, in this world, not everything can be fixed, no matter how much we wish it could."

Dread had Levy's stomach locked up tight and her teeth clenched together.

The room fell eerily silent. "Yesterday, our strongest team went on a mission to capture bandits in Freesia. But demons from the books of Zeref blindsided them."

Levy swallowed against the hard lump in her throat. It became hard to breathe. Where was Erza, Natsu, and Happy? Why weren't they there?

"It is with a broken heart that I tell you some of our family did not make it home alive."

"N-No," Levy whispered, her hands muffling the gasp that escaped as tears welled in her eyes. Loud murmurs of disbelief rang out across the guild, fear building in a frenzy as everyone turned wide eyes to their master.

He paused for a moment to reel in his emotions as Mirajane quietly broke down sobbing beside him. "Natsu, Erza, and Happy all died in battle. They were our beloved family and fought bravely to instill the protection of those we hold dear."

The news passed through the guild like a hurricane. Levy's mind was laid waste by it, the desolation she felt all consuming. She suddenly felt weak in the knees, falling backwards onto a bench. Cana dropped her alcohol, causing the contents to spill onto the floor. The room filled with hysterical crying, the screaming sobs molding together to form one.

"T-Tom Cat…?" she heard Charle whisper from beside her, a choked sob escaping Wendy's lips.

Gajeel clenched his hands into fists, wide eyes staring as he tried to comprehend the master's words. "S-Salamander? No way…"

Levy cried as if her brain was being shredded from the inside. From her mouth came a cry so raw that Gajeel bent down to pull her to his chest, running shaky fingers through her hair. She curled her hands around his shirt so she could find some gravity with her violent shaking. The whole world vanished for her. Now there was only pain enough to break her - to break them - pain enough to change them all beyond recognition.

"My children!" Makarov cried out above the noises of desolation.

The screams quieted to soft, choked sobs, as they all turned blurry vision toward him. Each of their expressions begged him to have the answers as to how this had happened… as to how they were supposed to endure such a loss.

He looked over each and every one of them, his own tears falling down his cheeks. "Y-You're going to think that the pain will never end, but it will. That I can promise. But first, you have to let it all in. You can't fight it; it's bigger than you. You have to let yourself drown in it, but then, eventually, you'll start to swim. And every single breath that you fight for will make you stronger. And I promise you, you'll beat this! We all will!"

"How the hell did this happen?!" Macao called out angrily. "How?!"

Makarov shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't have all the details. Thank Mavis that Gray and Lucy were both brought back home alive. They're in the infirmary recovering thanks to Wendy and Porlyusica."

Levy squeezed her eyes shut, listening as Gajeel mumbled incoherent phrases, as Juvia cried for a queen, and Wendy sobbed for a fellow dragon slayer. She took in everything, feeling as if a weight pressed on her chest, and she was drowning in her own tears.

Their master wiped his hand under his nose like a child. "I have postponed any job requests for the time being. With the jewels we received from the Games, I will cover all expenses until further notice. Do not break alone, my children. We are a family, and we will get through this together - as a family."

Within the mess of emotions surrounding her, Levy repeated Makarov's news over and over again in her mind.

Natsu… Erza… Happy… dead…

Lucy… Gray… alive…

And then her eyes opened wide.

Lucy…!

Lucy felt emotionally bankrupt. There was nothing left to feel, nothing left to say, nothing left but the void that enveloped her mind in swirling blackness. She peeked out from beneath her covers and looked at Gray with eyes filled with anguish. He was sitting up, his gaze trained on the window, as he had been for the past two hours.

Reluctantly, once he had woken up and questioned what had happened, she had given him the news of their friends' deaths. He had yelled out in denial, refusing to believe her, but as she replayed their final moments out on the battlefield as Virgo and Loke appeared, reality started to set in.

Since then, he had clammed up. He had sobbed - she had never seen him so vulnerable - and then he went silent. He now stared vacantly out at the sunrise, as if searching for something.

About an hour ago, she had heard all the commotion coming from the main hall and knew the rest of the guild had been told the news. The door creaked open, catching Lucy's attention. She glanced over her covers to see a petite young woman with blue hair peek her head in.

"Lu…?" she whispered hesitantly.

The blonde debated if she wanted to see her friend, or if she would rather pretend to be asleep so she could be left alone. Thinking better of it, she pulled the blanket off of her face. "Hey, Levy," she replied softly.

Levy stepped over, her hands clenched in front of her as if to keep them from trembling. Her cheeks were red and blotchy from crying. "Oh, Lucy…"

Her words were so tender and full of sympathy, that Lucy felt tears welling in her eyes all over again. "He-He's gone," she said, her voice cracking. "They're all gone."

Lucy's body began to shake with her sobs, the sound breaking free from her throat, savage and raw. Levy pushed away the covers and slid into the bed next to her. She wrapped her arms around her friend, running her fingers through her golden-spun hair, and whispered soothing words to help calm her shattered heart.

Sometime during it all, Juvia came to Gray's bedside, reaching out a trembling hand around his own. "Gray…?" she whispered.

His only response was to pull away, ignoring her presence completely. The desolation he felt consumed him, his mind became an icy wasteland; the wind howled in his soul and wrapped icy tentacles around his heart so tightly, it almost stopped beating.

And faintly, he realized, it had begun to rain.

Sitting alone at the Fairy Tail guildhall, Cana took a swig from her glass and waited for the effects to kick in. She waited. And waited. But the numb feeling inside her didn't wane.

The quiet of the guildhall made her blood run as cold as Fiore's winters. It was as if nature conspired against her in the dark, not daring to whisper the reassurance she craved. Echoes of boisterous voices spun through her mind, of a lively guild filled with fistfights and magic.

Now, there was only silence.

It gnawed at her insides, hanging in the air like the suspended moment before falling glass shattered on the ground. Like a gaping void. It needed to be filled with sounds, words, anything.

The main door creaked open and she heard soft footsteps echo in the empty guildhall. Mirajane walked over to Cana, giving her a weak smile, barely noticeable in the dim lighting. "I thought I'd find you here." Her blue eyes, which were usually so bright and kind, had dulled to an opaque grey. They were puffy, but her tears had finally dried up.

The card mage tilted her head in acknowledgement, taking another long gulp. "Where else is there to be?"

Humming her agreement, the eldest Strauss sibling slipped behind the bar for a glass to fill from the tap, and joined Cana in a drink. Once the news of what had happened had sunk in, everyone had dispersed to find their own way of grieving.

"I used to complain about how loud the guild was. All the fighting and the music and the people non-stop talking," Cana said, her voice brittle as if she were about to cry. "Now, it's too quiet. I'd give my right arm to hear Natsu start a fight or for Erza to end it, or for Happy to make another of his snarky comments."

Blue eyes peered wistfully over the darkened guildhall, memories of their childhood revolving through her mind. Over a decade had passed since the first of them had stumbled into Fairy Tail. Even after all they had been through at such a young age, they had still been so innocent as to what lay ahead. "It's a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment, everything you hold dear can be altered forever."

Cana gripped her glass tighter. "It all just feels like a bad joke."

"I don't think the universe is kidding this time." She didn't need to voice aloud the circumstances regarding Lisanna's death. Her body had disappeared in a glitter of golden light. This time, there was no mistake that Natsu, Erza, and Happy were gone. Mirajane took a sip of her drink thoughtfully, swirling the alcohol around in her mouth, relishing in the burn before swallowing.

Cana raised a brow suspiciously. "Since when do you drink?"

"Since I woke up yesterday and never imagined the day would end this badly." The barmaid shrugged, silver hair a mess and her eyes sad. "I always thought there were bad days, but not in the way most people think, you know? I think… I think really bad days happen when everything seems to be going wrong, and you just want to throw your hands up in the air and give up. Because clearly, the world is out to get you."

Tears welling in her eyes, Cana held up her glass. "To really, really bad days, then."

They drank quietly as the shadows grew darker and it wasn't until after nightfall that they realized something.

As it turned out, a person couldn't drink away the silence.

Every breath was an implosion.

Lucy sat on the edge of the bed with no strength to move. Her shaky fingers finally came to a stop after running restlessly through her messy hair. She bit down on her lip trying not to burst into tears. It wasn't going to help. It wouldn't change anything.

Night had fallen, causing everyone to leave the guild. Juvia had fallen asleep in a chair, her head resting on Gray's bed, but Lucy had persuaded Levy to go home. Brown eyes lifted to look at her teammate, lip quivering.

"Gray…?" Her voice came out in a choked whisper.

"Don't." The word was deliberate, and sharper than knives. He didn't even bother to face her, instead lying on his side with his back toward her.

Lucy glanced away, feeling as if she had been slapped. She wrapped the blanket tighter around her shoulders, the events of the day leaving her feeling hollow. "You don't get to do this," she muttered, clenching her hands into fists.

"Don't," he repeated. "Just don't. I don't want to hear you say what I think you're gonna say."

Gray had woken up hours ago with the bitter taste of ash in his mouth and the grit of building caked into his skin. Somehow, before Lucy had replayed the events of the battle for him, he had known it was over. A part of him really knew. People always say they thought they would know if someone close to them had died. Maybe it was true. Because something inside him had broken on that day, and he knew it was over.

Grief felt like emptiness in his heart, a sheer of nothingness that somehow took over and held his soul, threatening to kill him entirely. It gave him this heavy feeling that was like the weight of the world sat on his chest.

He knew grief very well.

He felt it when Ur looked back at him, her body becoming the infamous iced-shell, as she gave her life for his. "I want Lyon to discover the world; Gray, you too, of course. You don't have to be sad," she had told him with a smile. "I'm alive. I'm eternally alive as ice. Step into the future. I'll seal your darkness."

He felt it when Ultear had given years of her life to give him one more minute of his, changing his fate entirely - her elderly face, tilted with lips pulled up, a shake of her head, wordlessly telling him it was okay.

And he felt it when Erza turned her back to him, scarlet hair shimmering in the fire's glow; her armor cracked, her swords drawn. "I made a promise! I told Ultear I would look after you," she had shouted back to him, facing the demon head-on as he lay bleeding. "And I never break a promise!" Even though by then she was already dying, she fought on. She was drenched to the core in blood and yet she fought on. She fought on until she collapsed and could fight no more. And then with the crack of bones, she was gone.

Why?!

Why did every woman he had ever learned to care for decide that his life was worth more than theirs? Why was he always the one left behind to mourn, to feel the guilt of their deaths?

It wasn't fair, dammit!

"Please… Gray…"

Lucy's voice drew him from his thoughts and he glanced down to see he had wrapped the sheets tight in his fist, turning his knuckles white. He closed his eyes, but she somehow knew he was listening.

"We-We have their blood on our hands… Tell me it's going to be okay. Promise me it's going to be alright," she cried meekly. "Tell me we have a reason to be here when they aren't."

He was silent for a moment, turning his hardened gaze to the dark sky outside. "I can't."

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, unable to come up with any response.

Chapter Text

Commission by @phoenix-before-the-flame

When daybreak sent its first glows across Magnolia two days after the battle, Lucy could barely move without aches or pains blooming to life. Her entire body still throbbed from her injuries - bruises and broken bones barely beginning to heal - making her movements jerky. According to Wendy, Lucy had broken several ribs, dislocated one of her shoulders, and had a bad concussion. 

She had barely slept a wink since waking up in the guildhall’s infirmary. In part, this was due to Wendy and Porlyusica keeping vigil over her to monitor her concussion. Although their medicinal advisor had stated Lucy would recover soon enough, that didn’t mean the old woman would leave her without supervision. The other part of Lucy’s insomnia came from her fear of dreaming. Being awake, she could keep her thoughts busy, her hands fiddling, her consciousness away from the truth she still had a hard time believing. But while she slept, her repressed thoughts and emotions could come out to play without warning. The idea itself made her inadvertently recoil. Her heart pounded faster, her breath quickened, and she could feel panic begin to shake her fragile composure. She could barely hold everything together as it was. 

Lucy clenched her jaw through her pain, struggling in vain to pull on the black dress Levy had brought from her apartment. “Come on,” she murmured, attempting to pull the dress over her bandages. 

A knock on the infirmary door caused her to pause and glance over her shoulder to see Cana peeking her head in. “Hey, Lucy, you almost ready?”

“Yeah.” The blonde sighed and dropped her hands in defeat. “Just having trouble getting this on.” 

Cana smirked as she entered the room. “Let me help.” Her nimble fingers worked quickly to tuck in Lucy’s bandages, pulling the black fabric over her shoulders and zipping up the back. “There.” 

Lucy turned, offering a weak smile, not bothering to comment on the flush to Cana’s cheeks. To be honest, Lucy could use a drink, too.

The women stared at one another for a long moment, neither saying anything. Comforting words were pointless. They both knew sympathy had no merit here, and nothing could truly take away the gnawing misery grief left in its wake. Lucy could even say she felt numb; as if she wasn’t truly there. She simply continued to go through the motions of the day. 

Finally, Cana exhaled deeply, taking Lucy’s hands into her own. “Okay.” 

Swallowing thickly, Lucy nodded. “Okay.” 

Breathe. 

Lucy’s black shoes clacked against the cobblestone, drawing her closer to the cemetery gates. The cool morning air bit at her exposed skin, causing goosebumps to rise along her flesh. Townsfolk stopped to stare at the group of mages who walked Magnolia’s streets. A heavy air of sorrow quieted the happy chatter, inciting whispered words of condolences, all of which fell on deaf ears. Regardless of how they had felt about Fairy Tail in the past, no one in Magnolia had wished ill to befall the guild, and now the heart of their town had been irrefutably crushed. 

Makarov stopped at the gravesites, tearful words of endearment spoken, but not really heard. The emotional paralysis felt unsettling. As the cold breeze kissed her skin, all Lucy could think of was how cold the bodies of her comrades had felt in her arms. So cold, she thought, folding her arms tight around herself. It seemed strange that two people who had been so full of fire and spirit could feel so cold to the touch. 

Their gravestones towered over freshly-moved soil, bouquets of flowers resting at their feet. It didn’t seem right that they were stowed away within the earth like everybody else. Natsu, Erza, and Happy were so much more than everyone else. They were the light that shone in the darkness, the fire that kept away the cold, and the spirit that breathed life into their hearts. No one else could even hope to measure up to them, and Lucy felt mild panic build in the pit of her stomach at the prospect of them having the same end. 

The entirety of Fairy Tail mourned, sobbing with ragged, gasping breaths. Lucy casted her eyes to the charcoal sky, thunder rumbling in the distance as the first rain drop splashed against her cheek. It took a moment to realize she was crying, too, as rain and tears mingled on her face, salty tracks blending into the fresh sky-fallen trickles. Her shoulders began to tremble as she covered her mouth with her hand, raw pain tearing from her throat as she cried out. 

A toothy grin. An outstretched hand. “Come on!”

Her head pounded as she wailed, no longer able to keep her distress quiet. She futility wiped at her eyes, attempting in vain to bottle back up the wave of emotions as her legs shook beneath her. Suddenly, arms were around her, pulling her close, and Lucy didn’t need to look up to know it was Gray. The scent of mint washed over her as she pressed her face into his chest, fingers curling around his dark navy jacket, bracing herself against him. 

Lucy cried as if the ferocity of her anguished howls might bring him back - them back - as if by the sheer force of her grief fate could be undone. Natsu was her partner - her best friend, dammit - and he could not be gone! Gray tried to hold her steady, to calm her, his murmured words of assurance tickling her ear, but in her hysteria she tumbled out of his arms toward the graves. 

She stumbled and collapsed to her knees before Natsu’s name, not caring about the damp mud that soiled her dress. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t breathe. She cried as if her entire soul was being stripped from the inside. There was a rawness to her grief, as fresh as an open wound. Her whole body began to shake as all of her defenses and strength washed away. It was more than crying now. It was the kind of desolate sobbing that came from a person drained of all hope. 

Lucy hiccupped, her vision blurring with tears. “Natsu,” she cried meekly. Her gasping wails enveloped them, carried in the damp air. The pain that flowed from her was as palpable as the frigid rain, and soon Gray stood beside her. He struggled on what words could console, instead keeping his own anguish silent, as he looked up at the watery skies and heaven beyond. 

And the rain continued to fall. It seemed to everyone watching that that was all it would ever do, and their lives then forth would forever be thwarted by the rain that shed so unrelenting from the sky. 

A somber mood suffocated the guildhall as everyone gathered after the funeral. Many of their faces bore the wrinkles of laughter lines, but today they weren’t furrowed but taut; stretched in mourning. The bar stood open, alcohol being passed without a word, a silver-haired barmaid moving robotically. Everyone dressed in the darkest of blacks. It wasn’t often that the Fairy Tail guild was filled with such dread, and seeing it now felt out of place. 

Chelia’s blue eyes searched earnestly over the hall, brows knitted with concern. When the news of Team Natsu’s deaths reached Lamia Scale, her first thought encompassed her dear friend’s wellbeing. She knew Wendy had been very close to Natsu, like a sibling bond, a detail shared as they recovered from the dragon attacks in Crocus. If Chelia had lost Sherry, she wouldn’t know what she would do. 

She finally caught sight of Wendy sitting beside Charle at one of the tables. After a few mumbled words to Lyon and Jura, she hurried over to her friend. “Wendy,” she called, sitting down beside her and placing a comforting hand on her arm. “Hey.” 

The dragon slayer lifted her head from where it had been cradled in her arms. She smiled a little, but it wasn’t genuine. It was like the smile of a child who was determined not to weep. “Chelia,” she greeted quietly, her shaky façade already slipping. “So nice of you to come.” 

Chelia frowned and shook her head. “Come on,” she soothed. “We’re friends, right? You don’t have to be strong for me.” 

It was as if Wendy had been waiting for someone to give her permission to grieve. Almost instantaneously, tears welled up in her eyes. “I-I don’t know what to do,” she cried, clenching her hands into fists. “I-I just don’t know how I’m supposed to do this!”

Chelia held Wendy’s hands in her own. “It’s not your fault,” she attempted to reassure the utter desperation in her voice. “There was nothing you could have done.” 

Wendy’s eyes flashed with anger as she jerked her hands away. “How would you feel if you declined to go on a mission?” she accused, her words biting. “How would you feel if someone wound up dead?!” 

Charle placed her paws over her ears, shutting her eyes and looking away. 

Chelia flinched. “I-I don’t know-”

“Twice now I couldn’t defeat a dragon. I watched as Cait Shelter disappeared before my eyes and I couldn’t do anything to stop it!” 

“Wendy-” 

“Don’t you understand?! I can’t help anyone!” she shouted, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears already falling. 

The god slayer quickly pulled Wendy to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around her. Wendy shook in her arms, sobs wracking her tiny frame, and breaking Chelia’s heart. Only days before, they had been battling during the Grand Magic Games. Wendy, although timid, had been a fierce opponent and had an amazing fighting spirit. To see her reduced to someone so defeated had Chelia’s own spirit breaking. 

How could she even begin to help her heal? 

A haunting melody played over the speakers near the stage, drowning out the muffled voices in the gathered crowd. The lights dimmed, a ghostly spotlight reflecting off a glint of silver hair, and a hush fell. “I brush the desk with you gone; the shadow drops; alone again today,” Mirajane’s evocative voice called out as her fingers strummed over guitar strings. Lucy thought she sounded like a dying universe - the light which they all held dear fading into nonexistence. “Looking up at the starry sky, I say a prayer.” 

Makarov, already with a warm flush to his cheeks, sat down on the bar top beside Cana. She tipped her barrel back, tasting the burn of alcohol before offering it to him, which he obliged. 

“I’ve been lost inside; the empty space in my heart,” Mirajane continued to sing, her blue eyes shimmering. “In my imagination, you’re waiting; lying on your side, with a smile; I watch you on the red horizon.” 

Lucy’s eyes burned, and she pulled them away from the stage to the half-empty glass in front of her. Her hands tightly gripped the bench she sat upon as her teeth sank into the side of her cheek so hard she drew blood. 

“And I will burn fate into a pile of ashes! I won’t let anyone take away Lucy’s future!”

Natsu’s voice rang in her ears - a voice that so long ago had woken something deep within her. His voice had broken a spell, casted by Bora in Hargeon, but it had been so much more than that. He had pulled away the last fragments of a runaway heiress, leaving only Lucy, and she had somehow known when she met him that an adventure was going to happen. Natsu was like fireworks. He came in with a big entrance, lighting up her life in a thousand colors, and then he died, leaving her staring at a pitch black sky. 

She bowed her head, finding a bright red stain on the carpet, left over from Cana’s alcohol that she spilled when they had been told the news. It reminded her of the never-ending flow of blood that escaped a dying Natsu as she held his head in her lap, his dark eyes losing its fire as his life slipped away from him. And with every breath she drew, her heart swelled and broke for the person who would never find her again. She precariously mused about how people died of broken hearts; how when things went wrong and fell apart, it was the heart that hurt the most.

Is that what would happen to her? Because, frankly, she couldn’t see past the grief that upended her life so completely. She had never felt this way, not even when her parents had died. So how was she supposed to get past this?

Gray tensed beside her as Mirajane continued to sing, Juvia’s worried eyes stealing glances at his stony expression. His hand sat next to Lucy’s on the bench. They hadn’t spoken much since that night in the infirmary - minus the whispered exchange at the cemetery - but now she needed his comfort. She needed to know he was still there, still alive and breathing. That they were both alive and breathing. She couldn’t bear to lose him, too. She looped her pinkie finger around his, and he tightened his own, one small connection while the world fell apart around them. 

“And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak; nothing else ever seems to hurt; like the smile on your face when it’s only a memory.” 

When Lucy dared to peer up at Gray’s face, she found his gaze remained vacant as he stared across the guildhall, his eyes a cold winter she had never seen before. 

“Even when you’re shaking with tears; even when it seems like you’ll be lost to the darkness; don’t forget you always have-” Mirajane’s throat closed with emotion, and she swallowed thickly. “You always have a place to return to; you always have people waiting for you to return.” 

As the last chords of her ballad echoed in the silent guildhall, there was no standing ovation. Her emotions rang loud and clear through the night, rendering the hall shaken. Only Juvia’s worried eyes and the slam of the back door drew any concern. 

Nobody spoke, but nobody needed to. 

An hour later, Gray still hadn’t returned, compelling Lucy to follow after him. Even Juvia didn’t know how to comfort the ice-make mage, and had resorted to fretting over him to Gajeel. The iron dragon slayer did his best to soothe her concerns, but Lucy could tell it wasn’t doing much good. 

She found Gray standing by the bonfire lit outside under an awning in the back. It had been created by Romeo to help keep the light chill in the air from the rain at bay. Gray stood next to the fire, his entire body swaying slightly. 

“You all right?” Lucy asked, walking up to him with her arms wrapped around her, eyes filled with unease. 

It took a moment for Gray to realize she had spoken, or even stood beside him. He glanced back at her with a glazed expression, his jaw hanging slack. “Not real’y ‘n the partyin’ mood.” 

She sighed, watching the flames curl and flicker, crackling as they burned the wood. It felt good to feel their warmth, shying away the cold empty feeling in her chest. “Sometimes, it’s hard to breathe,” she said quietly, eyes never leaving the fire. “I-I can’t sleep, because every time I close my eyes, I see their faces from that day.” 

Gray didn’t say anything. He had gone outside in order to escape the suffocating silence in the guildhall, but now that Lucy offered her company and words, he wasn’t sure what he wanted. So, he simply stared at the fire with a frigid guise, drinking a swig of alcohol. 

“I-I don’t know what to do, Gray,” Lucy cried out in a strangled voice, squeezing her eyes shut and wrapping her arms tighter around herself. “We-We survived. What are we supposed to do?” 

Her voice dripped with sadness, regret and fear. Out of the corner of his eyes, Gray just watched her slowly destroy herself from the inside out. But how was he supposed to answer her? He didn’t know where they were supposed to go from here or what they were supposed to do. He wanted to tell her that it would be okay, that they would get through this, that someday the pain wouldn’t be as suffocating. 

He wanted to fill her with hope again. 

But, he couldn’t. How could he convince her to believe in something, when he couldn’t believe it himself? Their friends were killed by demons created by Zeref - just like his parents and Ur. They couldn’t avenge them. They couldn’t bring them back. All they could do was endure. 

“Endure.” 

And they retreated back into themselves, erecting walls people had long ago broken through. The rain continued falling, unaware of their pain and despair, washing out the faith in their hearts. 

Crimson eyes glared across the expanse of the guildhall, sensitive hearing picking up on the muffled conversations filled with pity and remorse. The entire atmosphere made him sick. His veins burned with rage unlike any other he had felt, and the rest of his guildmates were licking their wounds like a bunch of injured stray dogs. 

Gajeel clenched his hand tighter around the cup he held, doing everything in his power to keep his anger in check. When he had first heard the news of Salamander and Titania’s deaths, along with that blue cat, he had felt shock and disbelief. Those two were on par with his strength, and had never been easily defeated - if at all. Hell, they had both nearly died a few times over the years, simply because of pride and their ideal to always fight for their friends. The iron dragon slayer loved a good fight and hated to lose, but even he knew when it was time to run with his tail between his legs. His fight with Natsu during the Phandom Lord attack taught him that, and then again during the dragon strike on Tenrou Island. 

Even still, after he had overcome the bombshell Makarov had delivered, he didn’t feel sadness or regret like the other Fairy Tail members. It was true he hadn’t known Natsu, Erza, or Happy as long as the rest of them, but it surprised him that the guild had so easily given up on vengeance. 

He was angry - enough to go rampaging after the bastards who had killed a fellow dragon slayer. The only problem was, he didn’t know who he was supposed to lead an assault on. Lucy and Gray had been tight-lipped about it, and Makarov didn’t seem all too eager to pull the information from them. 

“By the look on your face, I have a feeling our minds are on the same track,” Sting said as he sauntered up to the table Gajeel sat at, Rogue close at his side. 

“Tch,” Gajeel grumbled, taking a sip of alcohol as the twin dragon slayers took seats across from him. “What’s it to you?” 

“Demons from the books of Zeref killed a fellow dragon slayer,” Rogue enlightened sourly, his hand clenched into a tight fist. Frosch, his usual happy-go-lucky exceed, had collapsed into tears, bundled away in Rogue’s jacket. “Why is everyone just standing around?”

Gajeel’s steely eyes glanced between them. “You think I wouldn’t be out there searching for the monsters myself if I could?” he growled. 

“What’s the hold up?” Sting argued back. “Let’s go after the bastards.” 

“I don’t think you understand. We don’t know who the hell we’re supposed to go after.” 

Rogue and Sting exchanged a look. The white dragon slayer narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean? Lucy and Gray fought them. They should know.” 

Gajeel rested his head against his hand, his bent elbow on the table. “They’re not talkin’. And Makarov doesn’t seem to have the guts to interrogate them.” 

“Those demons murdered their team!” Sting seethed, icy blue eyes glaring at him. “What’s there to talk about?!”

“Look, I’d like to fight the demons as much as you would. We’ve got nothing to go on right now.” Gajeel took another swig thoughtfully, and then, “But something like this ain’t gonna stay quiet for long. Once these fairies finish feeling sorry for themselves, they’re gonna be pissed and’ll be looking for retribution.” 

Rogue nodded. “And then we strike back.”

Chapter Text

                                                                                commission by @lazy-w-leviathan                                                                                                                                          

When Lucy finally returned inside the warmth of the guildhall, Lyon found her. Usually dressed in a striking blue, it was strange to see him clothed in black. The color didn’t suit him. Their eyes met, and Lucy knew exactly who he was looking for. “He’s out back.” 

Lyon glanced at the back door thoughtfully, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “How is he?”

“How do you think?” She sniffled, wrapping her arms tighter around the damp fabric of her dress. 

He placed a gentle hand on her arm, not bothering to hide the affliction in his dark eyes. “I’m sorry about your friends. Natsu and Erza were some of the strongest mages I’ve ever met, and had more heart than anyone I know.” 

“Thank you,” she murmured, giving him a shaky smile. He returned the gesture before retreating to where she had just come from, surely on a mission to comfort his old friend. 

Lucy walked aimlessly through the guildhall, watching the others drink themselves into a stupor. She briefly overheard Macao and Wakaba attempt to keep the mood cheerful, sharing humorous stories regarding a hot-headed dragon slayer with his flying blue cat and a queen who ruled with an iron fist. But their weak laughter quickly snuffed out, replaced with haunted expressions. Wakaba drew a deep breath in from his cigar and Macao finished off his alcohol in a single gulp. They felt what everyone else did. How could they laugh and be merry when those who had ensured it the most were gone? 

Most of the night continued in that fashion. Lucy vaguely recalled people she didn’t recognize coming up to her and giving their condolences since she had been a part of the strongest team in Fairy Tail. Guilds from all over had shown up, everyone feeling the loss of the Salamander and Titania, including those from Sabertooth and their exceeds, who had lost a dear friend. 

Drained from answering to others’ sympathies, Lucy found a little corner of the hall to escape to. She leaned her back against a pillar, watching out the window as rain continued to beat relentlessly on the cobblestone path, her unrecognizable reflection peering back at her through the glass. 

She studied herself, pulling her lips into a smile. A frightened sob fell from her lips. She had to admit, when she smiled, she looked okay, normal even. Inside, the ache for Natsu gnawed at the very heart that still beat within her chest. But on the outside, anyone could mistake her lackluster grin for real happiness. How was it possible for her reflection to look so ordinarily normal when she had crumbled inside? 

“Lucy?” Mirajane’s voice called out to her, causing Lucy to pull her gaze from the window. 

She turned to find the barmaid and Makarov staring at her with morose expressions. “What is it?”

Makarov furrowed his brows, peering up at her with a look of sympathy. “I’m so sorry to disturb you, my dear, but Gray isn’t exactly in the most talkative of moods.” 

Lucy sighed, averting her eyes. “Do you blame him?”

“No,” Mirajane assured. “We just-” She paused, unable to bring their reasoning for seeking her out to fruition. It wasn’t an easy request to ask of Lucy, especially after everything she had been through in the past few days, but it was something that needed to be done. Their master had given Lucy and Gray adequate space and time to try and process everything that had transpired, but now he needed answers. 

“Lucy,” Makarov began in a stern, yet softened tone. “Can you tell us what happened that night?”

Lucy’s breath caught. She felt the panic begin like a cluster of sparks in her abdomen. Tension grew in her face and limbs, her mind replaying fragments of the attack. Her breathing became more rapid and shallow. A wave of nausea came over her as she swallowed past the thick lump in her throat. Squeezing her eyes shut, Lucy shook her head, wisps of blonde hair brushing over her shoulders. “I-I can’t.” 

Makarov’s frown deepened. “I understand,” he said. “But, I need you to at least tell me one thing: Who did this?”

The celestial wizard bit her lip, her throat closing up as the faces of those demons flashed through her mind - teeth barred, venomous words, blood-soaked claws. She didn’t know their names. They had never revealed them in the heat of the battle. Both parties had been caught unaware, so pleasantries were never exchanged. 

But…

She knew of them. She knew who they belonged to, the dark guild they took refuge in, its name spoken between blows. 

With a shaky voice, she whispered, “Tartaros.” 

Mirajane gasped as Makarov’s eyes hardened, fury emitting off of him in waves. “ Tartaros?!” he seethed. “Tartaros did this to my children?!”

Tears burned Lucy’s eyes as she nodded her head. 

Makarov clenched his hands into fists, alcohol mixed with rage blurring his lines of reason. “Master,” Mirajane muttered, causing him to turn his gaze to hers. She shook her head. “Not here.” 

Her words heavily reminded him to reel back his vexation as he quickly scanned the rest of the guildhall. It seemed no one else had caught onto their conversation, which was probably for the best. If any of the others had overheard who was responsible for the slaughter of their family - particularly the dragon slayers with their sensitive hearing - it was likely a war would be started based on wild emotions. 

No. A war against Tartaros was not something to be taken lightly. They couldn’t run into a fight half-cocked and blinded by grief. The dark guild had evaded even the Magic Council for years. If Fairy Tail was to challenge them, they had to be smart - methodical. 

Makarov sighed, relaxing his shoulders as he turned back to Lucy. “It’s okay,” he said in a hushed tone. “Thank you for telling me. Please, don’t say anything to anyone else. We need some time.” 

He shuffled away from them with his hands clasped behind his back, head bowed in thought. Mirajane wiped a tear from her cheek and turned back to Lucy. “I have something for you.”

Lucy brought her eyes up to the small, wooden box the barmaid presented to her. “What is it, Mira?”

“It’s Natsu’s scarf,” she explained gently. “Wendy and I managed to get the blood out of it, but since it was so important to him, I figured he’d want you to have it.” 

Lucy took the tattered box into her bandaged hands, running her fingers carefully over the splintering wood. Fairy Tail’s emblem had been carved carefully into its lid, the lines blurred by her tears. She didn’t have the vigor to open it, but she thanked Mirajane all the same. “This means a lot.” 

Mirajane squeezed her arm affectionately before disappearing into the crowd of mourners, leaving Lucy alone with her empty thoughts. In that moment, Lucy realized that when a person’s heart is shattered into a million pieces, all they could do was try to keep holding onto what was left. She needed to breathe. She needed to try moving forward. She tried not to think about him - about them. 

But she also realized that doing all of those things was very, very hard. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, curling her hands tighter around the only piece she had left of her best friend. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Why are you apologizing?”

She closed her eyes, her heart crying out to the whispered voice in her ear. “I should’ve saved you.” 

She brushed her bloody hair out of her eyes. Clouds of ash streaked the night sky. She stood frozen, lips half open. She tried to cry out, but the words wouldn’t come. 

“Nice weather.” 

Looking up, Lucy saw Hibiki’s reflection appear in the window beside hers, watching the rain fall outside. Part of her loathed him for interrupting her quiet destruction. “Not really,” she replied forlornly. “But then, sometimes I prefer the rain, especially if it’s from Juvia. Because we’re all sad together, you know?”

“I’m sorry,” he finally said the words she had grown to detest. “I know there isn’t anything that can be said to ease the pain, but I’m here if you ever need me, and I’ll offer any condolence I can. Blue Pegasus’ doors are always open.” 

“Thank you.” This time she meant it.

“Words can never describe what those three meant to everyone, but I understand the heartache you’re going through. When Karen died, I didn’t think I’d ever learn how to breathe again.” He laid a hand gently over hers, compelling her to look at him. “But Lucy, listen to me. I want you to hold on. There’s still good left in this world.”

Lucy pulled away, glaring at his reflection with watery eyes, clutching Natsu’s box tighter in her hands. “What good is there to come of this?”

“We don’t have that answer now,” he admitted solemnly. “But someday, today will be a distant memory - a faded scar.” 

She knew he was only trying to help, but his words suddenly made the room feel too tight, the murmured voices in the background too deafening. Lucy felt her heartbeat quicken, her fingers fidgeting across the splintering wood. She needed to leave. She couldn’t be there anymore.

“Thank you,” she told him, stepping away from the window. “You’ve always been so kind.” 

Dark eyes watched as she turned to take her leave. “Would you like me to walk you home, or at least grab an umbrella for you? It’s still raining pretty hard out.” 

Lucy shook her head with a smile. “No, that’s all right. I’ll be fine. I don’t live far.” He opened his mouth to object, but she held up a hand to silence him. “I have my keys on me. I’ll summon one of my spirits if I need to. You’ve always believed in how strong I am, so please, don’t doubt me now.” 

Hibiki studied her expression. Her face was stern, a touch of melancholy, but her eyes steadfast. She wasn’t going to budge. Even still, he knew she was a fighter. She always had been. He sighed with resignation, smiling at her words. “You’re right. Get home safe, okay?”

“I will.” 

She bid him farewell and left the guildhall, not bothering to say goodbye to any of her guildmates, her precious gift clutched tightly to her chest. The rain soaked her within minutes, small pellets of water sprinkling her hands as the remainder of the drops fell to form scattered puddles decorating the flagstone. Lights from street lamps reflected off the water, causing the street to glisten. 

Walking alone toward her apartment, Lucy faintly realized the boatmen who usually occupied the river around this time were nowhere to be seen. She supposed it had something to do with the weather. She reached down to summon Plue, as was her normal routine on her walk home, but as she gazed at his silver key glistening in the rainfall, she realized she wasn’t really up for any company right now. So she returned it to her side and went back to holding the box, Natsu’s scarf safely tucked inside. 

Before she knew it, she arrived home. That night, she finally understood why people fear silence. There was a common saying about the calm before the storm, but no one ever talked about the deafening silence after the storm hit. Her door creaked open into the dark apartment beyond, revealing no annoying teammates who had broken in, or a mess to clean up, or food thrown about her room. 

It was her first time home since the job and her days spent in the infirmary. 

Lucy dropped her celestial keys on her desk, setting Natsu’s box beside them. Levy had dropped off some food earlier in the day, already pre-packaged in the fridge and ready to eat, but Lucy wasn’t hungry. She felt drained, so she closed her door and leaned against it. 

There was a lump in her throat and fire in her lungs as her eyes studied the emptiness of her apartment. And finally, after the long grueling days of knowing they were gone, it began to hit her that it was true. Being tucked away in the infirmary. Going to the cemetery. Mourning at the guild. None of it had really felt real. It just felt like a really bad dream. 

Now, as she sat in her apartment, where Natsu and Happy always barged in without invitation, hearing the screaming stillness of their deaths fully and completely, without having them to come home to…

Lucy’s vision blurred as she choked out a sob. She slid to her knees, her cries finally releasing the suppressed pain that inescapably tore her heart and soul apart. Memories of Natsu hit her full force, of the dragon slayer who had brought her into this crazy adventure she called her life - needing him to be there. But he wasn’t there, and it hurt so damn much. 

As her cries rang through her apartment, she wished Natsu was in the room with her right now. She wished she could put her arms around him, to touch him, because then it would mean that he was real, that he was with her, and wasn’t-wasn’t gone. Out of her reach. 

Lucy found it hard to breathe, to feel anything, but the loss of Natsu. 

The bar closed down fairly early that night. There was no real reason to keep it open, as everyone had disappeared to separate corners to grieve the events threatening to drown them. The visiting guilds who had come to pay their respects had returned to their hotels for the evening, giving Fairy Tail members a chance to mourn in privacy. Even Cana had retreated to Fairy Hills in a drunken stupor. Mirajane stood in a daze, drying the last glass of the night, her empty eyes gazing at the guildhall doors longingly. 

“We made it back alive!” 

How often had she heard that phrase? How often did Natsu and Happy come barreling through those doors shouting it to the skies, with Erza, Gray, and Lucy following behind, rolling their eyes and smiling at their boisterous behavior? How often did they take it as a normal greeting, a simple welcome back to their home? 

The phrase had become such a natural part of the guild that along the way it had somehow lost its deep-seated meaning and had been taken for granted. Every time a member of Fairy Tail went out on a job, there was always a chance, no matter how small, that they would never walk through those doors again. They had seen it with Lisanna, had almost endured it when Macao had disappeared into Mount Hakobe, and even with Gildarts - their strongest wizard - when he came back two limbs short and with deep wounded scars from a dragon. 

So why- why weren’t they more cautious? Why weren’t they more careful?

Droplets fell and hit the glass, causing Mirajane to pause, and only then did she realize she was crying. “Such a fool,” she whimpered. 

“Who’re you calling a fool?”

Mirajane snapped her head to attention, wide eyes watching as Laxus stepped behind the bar. “L-Laxus,” she stuttered, quickly setting down the glass and wiping her eyes. “I-I didn’t know anyone else was still here.” 

“Just came to check on Gramps before heading out,” he said, but knew she didn’t need an explanation. 

“I see.” She casted her eyes down as she fiddled with the towel in her hand. “He hasn’t really been himself lately.”

Amber eyes watched her carefully. She looked half-dead in the pale light of the moon. “None of us have.”

Mirajane studied him out of the corner of her eye. The tragedy that had befallen the guild in recent days was not the only thing that caused Laxus Dreyer to make drastic changes. After the Battle of Fairy Tail - which felt like eons ago - and his expulsion from the guild, Mirajane hadn’t seen much of Laxus. Not until his reappearance on Tenrou Island seven years ago. The transformation in him was almost palpable. The anger and frustration he harbored for so many years of growing up in the shadow of his grandfather had been washed away. He had been reborn as a proper mage of Fairy Tail, of a person who stopped to aid his fellow man, and stood up against a dragon with them. 

It wasn’t until they had formed Fairy Tail Team B and competed in the Grand Magic Games did Mirajane finally obtain a glimpse into the true nature of Laxus. He was tenacious and witty, traits that had long been hidden behind his indignation. He felt anger for their comrades, as well as concern, even going so far as to check on Lucy when she had been severely injured. The arrogant, foolhardy Laxus she had grown up with had changed for the better. 

It reminded her of another person who she had always been at odds with during her childhood.

Mirajane exhaled deeply as the pair remained quiet, letting the empty silence of the guildhall fill the air between them until it became unbearable. “She was there for me,” Mirajane finally murmured, her words easily picked up by Laxus’ astute hearing. 

“Hn?”

“Erza.” She choked back the lump in her throat. “When I thought Lisanna had died in my arms, Elfman had been overwhelmed with guilt. All I could do was try to keep myself together for him.” 

He folded his arms over his chest and leaned his hip against the bar. 

“I didn’t have the luxury of letting go and grieving openly,” she confessed. “Because if I showed him how sad I was, if I showed him how weak I was in the face of Lisanna’s death, I wasn’t sure what that would do to him. He was the only family I had left, and he was going through something that I couldn’t even imagine. How could I let him hurt more than he already was?”

“The kids fine,” the lightning mage argued softly. “He came out all right.” 

“Yeah,” she agreed with a sad smile. “I have Erza to thank for that.” 

He raised a brow in question. 

“It’s true that she and I fought a lot when we were kids.” He scoffed at that, earning him a playful glare. “We fought about pretty much everything. But when I was at my lowest, when my sister was dead and my brother an emotional wreck, it was Erza who came to me.” 

Mirajane slipped out of the door toward home, hiding her tear-stricken face from the guild as she left. She couldn’t let Elfman see her like this. She couldn’t let him see her so fragile, especially after what he did to Lisanna. 

No. She gasped and quickly chastised herself. It was an accident. He was not to blame and she refused to put that stigma on him. It was all just a terrible, terrible accident. 

“Mira?” a voice called, causing her to pause in walking and glance over her shoulder. 

Erza stood in the doorway of the guild, wearing her armored chest plate and her scarlet hair woven in its usual braid down her back. “What do you want?” Mirajane snapped, running her good arm quickly over her eyes to wipe away evidence of her tears. “Can’t you see I want to be alone?”

The requip mage didn’t say anything for a moment, until finally she sighed, her expression falling to one of concern. 

“I don’t need your sympathy!” Mirajane ordered, seeing the familiar emotion in her eyes. Of all the people to witness her fragility, it just had to be Erza. “Just leave me alone.” 

She pivoted on her heel, prepared to stomp back to the place she resided with her siblings, so she could hide in the room she had shared with Lisanna, but arms around her waist stopped her. Erza held her back to her chest, head resting on her shoulder, tightening her hold. “I’m so sorry, Mira,” she mumbled quietly, her breath brushing against her neck. 

Mirajane clenched her hand into a fist, knitting her brows as she glared at the ground. “What are you apologizing for?” she demanded, squeezing her eyes shut against the burn of her tears. “You had nothing to do with it!”

Wanting to escape the heavy reminder of her loss, Mirajane pulled against Erza’s tight hold, wanting nothing more than to be safe in her own bed, curled beneath the blankets, where she could shut out the world that kept turning without her little sister. But the scarlet-haired girl refused to release her. 

“Let me go!” The takeover mage pulled and pushed against her grip, but Erza didn’t budge. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered, causing Mirajane to pause. “You are not weak just because your heart feels so heavy.” 

Mirajane didn’t know what it was about those words that cut her so deeply, but she suddenly found tears falling down her cheeks, her struggles ceasing, as Erza circled her so they were eye-to-eye. Erza embraced her again and Mirajane covered her face with her hand. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” she sobbed. 

Erza held on tighter. “You just do it,” she murmured softly. “You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, and damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.” 

Mirajane cried out to the endless sky, allowing Erza to slowly lower them to the ground, feeling her fingers rake through her hair to give her some sort of comfort she hopelessly needed. Mirajane wasn’t sure how long they sat there on the cool ground, the loss of her sister weighing on them so heavily she was sure they would be swallowed up by the Earth itself. 

But somehow, afterwards, as she collected herself and stood from Erza’s embrace, the nights turned into days. As the guildhall once again filled with laughter and animated voices, understanding glances were exchanged between scarlet and silver, memories shared of a night she had broken so deeply that she would never be the same. 

And Mirajane realized even with a broken heart, she learned to live again. 

“We never fought again after that,” Mirajane concluded, turning to give Laxus a sad smile. 

“Tch. Good news for the guild. I don’t think this place could’ve held up against you and Erza fighting on top of Gray and Natsu nowadays.” 

She snorted at that. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” 

And just as quickly as a breath escaped her lips, Mirajane felt a sudden, deep longing for Erza’s company - her frisky remarks, headstrong attitude, and endless orders for strawberry cake. It made her heart ache deep within her chest, taking root so far as to cause her physical pain. She doubled over the bar counter, bracing herself as a wave of emotions hit her and a choked sob fell from her lips. 

“Hey,” Laxus soothed gently, stepping over and laying a comforting hand on her back. 

“I-I don’t understand,” she cried out. “Why-Why did this happen?”

Wearing a grim and sad expression, Laxus turned his eyes to the guildhall doors which would never burst open with the same spirited cries of return again. “I don’t know,” he said, an image of Natsu’s grinning face coming to mind. 

“It’s not fair!” Mirajane wept, clenching her hands so tightly her fingernails dug crescent-shaped indentations into her palms. “It’s just not fair!”

He sighed, vision skewed by tears. “Well, no one ever said life was fair.” 

As he tightened his hand around her shoulder, the hush of the guildhall broken only by her quiet sobs, Laxus knew they were facing an uphill climb to being okay again. All of them. But he also knew that when every day was a battle, it was okay to lose some days. After all, a setting sun still whispered a promise for tomorrow. 

They just had to keep that in mind every day - survive until tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

Commission by @kiliinstinct

Each droplet of rain alighted on Juvia’s skin was just enough coolness to command her mind to the present. It pulled her thoughts away from the pain of the past few days and the uncertainty of what was to come. She tilted her umbrella back, raising her eyes to the gray layer of clouds that blocked out the midday sun, promising the storm would continue well into the evening. 

Juvia frowned. This time she wasn’t the cause of the weather. Her emotions had gotten the better of her after the news of their guildmates’ deaths. It had been a while since she had allowed Gloomy Juvia to be in charge of her existence. Now, her despair was evident in her tears rather than the rain. Sunny days were best for healing broken hearts, she had learned since her days serving in Phantom Lord. But Mother Nature had a cruel sense of humor. 

She reaffirmed her umbrella overhead. From the bench she sat upon, she had a perfect view of the apartment building across the street. The double hung windows three stories up had remained dark all day. 

“Hey, Juvia.” Blue eyes turned to her right to see Gajeel walking toward her, Panther Lily perched on his shoulder with paws over his ears, shuddering when a clap of thunder echoed in the distance. “What are you doin’ out here?”

She shrugged, granting him a smile. “Just enjoying the rain.” 

Panther Lily studied the path of her sight to the complex. “I-Isn’t that Gray’s apartment?”

“Tch.” Gajeel folded his arms over his chest, glancing between the apartment and the bench he was sure Juvia had been occupying for hours. He gave her a disapproving look. “Don’t tell me you’re waiting out here in the rain for him.” 

Juvia bit the inside of her cheek, shame pulling her gaze to the glistening walkway. Her pulse began to quicken, her fingers fidgeting in her lap with the fabric of the dark overcoat she wore. It wasn’t the first time Gajeel had chastised her for her overt adoration for the ice-make wizard. From the moment he had joined her at Fairy Tail, Gajeel had caught onto her little infatuation. She had done her best to tone down her attempts at grabbing Gray’s attention, but she admitted it was difficult to do. She had been immersed in gloom her entire life, and within a few moments of meeting, Gray had somehow managed to stop the rain. 

“He’s-He’s hurting,” she tried to explain, her cheeks flushing with her poor attempt at persuasion. “Juvia doesn’t know how to help him.” 

Gajeel’s carmine eyes considered her carefully. Juvia had always been a woman whose emotions were easily rattled. She had more self-doubt than anyone else he knew. The water mage had always excelled in her magic wielding, but when it came to holding onto a relationship, she floundered. Her excitement of sharing a bond with another person was often perceived as overzealous and, to be frank, annoying. He didn’t blame Fullbuster for behaving toward her the way he did. 

That being said, it still irked Gajeel that Juvia had been left out in the rain. “You can’t help someone who doesn’t want it.” He took a seat beside her and laid his arms across the back of the bench. Juvia tilted her umbrella over him to share as Pantherlilly cowered under the bench beneath them. “I say leave him be. He’ll work it out in his own time.” 

“Juvia’s not so sure he will.” 

Growing up in Phantom Lord, she and Gajeel had both come from backgrounds of abandonment, and had learned they both coped with adversity in similar matters - quietly shutting away their pain and simply shouldering through whatever blocked their path. It granted them the building blocks to what had now become a close friendship. She would never wish to change her past because it had led her to her present, and yet, she knew her path had been more difficult than others. 

Juvia had only been a part of Fairy Tail for a short time. She had heard snippets of her guildmates’ hardships and struggles, but she didn’t truly know the extent of the scars on their hearts. Yet, the atmosphere in Fairy Tail was so different from what she knew in Phantom Lord. Just like Gray had brought out the sun, Fairy Tail had done the same to her overall outlook. Where in the past she was expected to carry her afflictions by herself, now she had friends who outwardly welcomed to share her burdens, because that’s what it meant to be part of a family. 

She sniffled, eyes turning to the dark windows three stories above. She had attempted to speak to Gray several times since everything happened. Each time, he had shot down her efforts. Consoling others during a time of trife had never been her forte, so she was honestly lost on what to do. Gray hadn’t been very approachable. The ice-make mage had almost literally become a block of ice - sharp, cold, unyielding. After drowning his sorrows with the bitter taste of alcohol, he had shut himself away in his apartment. It made her feel uneasy and worried about his state of mind. 

“He’s lost three very important people in his life,” she said, her grip on her umbrella tightening. “Friends he grew up with. They laughed together. Fought together. Cried together. Juvia can’t imagine what he’s going through.” 

Gajeel stayed silent as the rain continued to fall. He supposed he couldn’t empathize with what the rest of the guild was going through. After all, besides Metallicana and Juvia, he had never shared a deep bond with anyone - and Metallicana had disappeared without a trace. If he had lost Juvia, or even Panther Lily, he supposed he would be pretty fucked up, too. Even still. 

He leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “Well, he obviously didn’t invite you in, considering you’re out here.” 

“Gajeel!” Panther Lily scolded, popping his head up from beneath the bench to glare at the dragon slayer. 

“You’re right,” Juvia murmured before Gajeel had to defend his statement. “Gray hasn’t spoken much to Juvia since that night.” 

He frowned and looked over at her with steely eyes. “Why do you continue doing this to yourself? Why do you continue to put yourself through this for him when he doesn’t even give you the time of day?”

She granted him a shaky smile. “If you’re not willing to love someone through their struggles, you don’t deserve them during their joys.” 

As if agreeing with her words, lightning struck, a brilliant shock of white in the graphite sky. For a brief moment, it lit up the street, and Juvia could swear she saw someone in the apartment window three stories up looking back at her. 

Romeo wasn’t sure what was worse: the fact that the guildhall had regressed into the silence they had suffered through for seven years, or that it had ever been gifted with ebullient chaos again. A wound that had been meagerly healed by immeasurable tears and fruitless anger, had suddenly been ripped open, serrated edges destroying any scar tissue that had formed. All the effort the Tenrou Team had put into winning the Grand Magic Games seemed to have been for nothing. The pain and loneliness of those left behind seven years ago was as palpable now as it was three months ago. 

He clenched his hand around the orange scarf draped around his neck. A world without Natsu had been a hard concept to accept when the dragon slayer had disappeared with the rest of the guild’s powerhouses. After all, Natsu always had and always could defeat any enemy that had dared stepped into his bad graces. It was difficult to believe that Romeo’s hero had so easily been wiped from existence with no rhyme or reason. No one knew of the dragon attack on Tenrou Island until the spell had lifted and the Tenrou Team could recount the events to those left behind. 

And then Romeo had watched as Natsu dominated Sabertooth during the games, and spear-headed a rescue mission against the Royal Army. Natsu had even managed to find a way to destroy the Eclipse Gate when the twelve keys of the zodiac and two celestial wizards couldn’t, a feat that brought them victory against several dragons. In Romeo’s eyes, Natsu was invincible. Unbeatable. Indestructible. 

Unbidden tears burned his eyes. After everything Romeo had witnessed while being a part of Fairy Tail, he truly believed that nothing could ever destroy the heart of their guild, because Natsu would always be there to fight and protect those he held dear. 

Until, he wasn’t. 

“He’s not gone, stop saying that!” His voice cracked, his fists curled.

Just like when they learned of the disappearance of Tenrou Island, Romeo’s first instinct was to blatantly deny the reports. He refused to give any merit to the master’s claims that Natsu was dead. Natsu had survived a dragon strike. Romeo couldn’t fathom that a measly demon from the Books of Zeref could be the end of the dragon slayer he held in such high regard. A world without Natsu was impossible to compute, impossible to bear. It couldn’t be true - he’d never even had the chance to say goodbye, or tell him all of the things he had always admired about him. 

And then the Thunder Legion brought the team home, further confirming what Romeo tried to contest. The following days brought mourning and the funeral. The Request Board became empty, the guild members looking more like skeletons than wizards. Demons had killed their family and escaped to who knows where. Meanwhile, his father and Wakaba were sharing drinks and cigars. Bisca and Alzack were doing their best to distract Asuka. Vijeeter stopped dancing. Nab hadn’t picked up a book in days. No one laughed or started fist fights. It was all so wrong. 

“This is wrong,” Romeo murmured under his breath. 

Macao set his mug down on the table and raised a brow. “What was that, Son?”

He clenched his hand into a fist and slammed it on the table, startling those who sat closest to him. “This is all wrong!”

“What are you talking about?” Wakaba pulled a deep puff from his cigar. 

Romeo suddenly stood, dark eyes ablaze with fury. “Everything! Why are we just sitting around?! We should be going after the demons who-who-”

“No.” Macao’s tone left no room for argument, his signature guild master voice that conveyed his authority. Romeo hated when his father spoke like that. After the brutality they had gone through under the thumb of Twilight Ogre, Romeo had lost respect for that voice. “We’re not going after anyone.” 

“But why?!” Romeo argued. “If Natsu was here-” 

“Well, he isn’t,” Macao hollered back. “So forget it.” 

The argument pulled Bisca’s attention away from Asuka in her lap. She frowned, watching the storm of emotions wage within Romeo. A boy whose passion and spirit that were just as robust as Natsu’s was - had been - threatened to spill over to the rest of them. His vigor could be contagious, if the resolve behind it didn’t waver, but Romeo was still just a boy.

“It’s not that we don’t want to,” Bisca attempted to soothe the young wizard’s ire. 

“Then why?” Romeo cried out, his tears finally coming to fruition. “What’s stopping us?”

Wakaba sighed. “You’re too young to understand. This isn’t a job request or the Grand Magic Games.” 

Alzack rested a hand over Azuka, her bright eyes peering up at him. “Going after the demons would mean war,” he explained gently. “And the battlefield is no place for inexperienced wizards or those without a strategy. We have to trust that the master knows what he’s doing.” 

Romeo gritted his teeth. Trust in the master? He wanted to. He always had. But Makarov had been missing in action since the funeral; he remained holed up in his office with no explanation. He offered no hope that they would prevail, no solace for how they were to overcome this grief, and no plan as to how they would get revenge.

In Romeo’s eyes, Makarov had turned into a coward. How was he supposed to trust in that? 

The days following Natsu’s death were the hardest Lucy had ever been through. The worst part about every day was the morning. Each night, while she tossed and turned in fits of nightmares, she replayed that day out on the battlefield. And every morning, she would wake up and her heart would break all over again as she reminded herself that her nightmares were real. 

Natsu was gone. Erza and Happy were gone. And they were never coming back. 

Lucy stared at her ceiling as the midday sun streamed through her curtains. Her keys laid neglected on her desk, scattered with her writing tools she hadn’t touched in a long time. She could faintly hear murmured conversations from people walking by on the street below her apartment window, but otherwise she had shut out the rest of the world. 

She sighed, glancing at the disarray of her room. It seemed as if Natsu and Happy had come barreling into her living quarters uninvited and had made themselves at home for weeks. Her laundry needed to be done. Her cabinets had run out of dishes to hold, finding a new home in the sink. Blankets lay haphazardly on the floor and the couch, evidence of Lucy attempting to find a place of comfort to no avail. 

“Good afternoon, Princess,” Virgo greeted as Lucy became distantly aware of the slight pull on her magic that signaled the maid spirit was around. 

Lucy turned on her side with her back to her, curling further into her bedding. She shivered, clutching her heavy duvet tightly around her, but she was still cold. Ever since Natsu’s death, it was like she couldn’t get warm. 

Her appetite had dwindled down to nothing. Her heartache had rung her out until she was dry inside, and no more tears would come. Her insides still felt as raw as if winter wind was blowing right through her skin. The last conversation she shared with Natsu haunted her, tormented her, replaying like an echo. She vividly remembered his expression twisted into one of pain that night before the mission, as he confessed his deepest fears to her. How was it that only hours later he was dead?

The quiet clinking of dishes stopped an hour later as Virgo finished tending to the household chores. “I’ll be leaving now,” she announced, but Lucy ignored her. 

She finally drifted into a fitful doze as she felt Virgo return to the spirit world. 

The slight distortion in the air was the only warning Makarov received before he found Doranbolt, Head of a Division of the Rune Knights, standing before him in his office. News of Fairy Tail losing three of its wizards in battle had quickly made its way to the Magic Council. Whenever a wizard died in conflict or of unnatural causes, it had to be reported to the Council for an investigation. This incident in particular had everyone on edge. It had been decades since such a tragedy had befallen a single guild.

“Doranbolt,” Makarov greeted with a hardened gaze. “I was wondering when the Council would send someone.”

He stepped forward and set a small file on Makarov’s desk. “Our investigation remains ongoing regarding Tartaros, but I figured I’d give you an update.” 

The guild master hummed as he began scanning the documents. He had clued the Council in on Lucy’s admission, as going up against a dark guild would need all the intelligence he could gather. Most of the documents had been redacted due to containing sensitive information, but what was available to read was not much more than what he already knew. “This is hardly worthy of investigational praise,” Makarov stated dryly as he pulled his eyes away from the pages and leveled Doranbolt with a glare. 

Doranbolt frowned. “Tartaros has always been one step ahead of the Council. And as you know, the Council isn’t exactly swift on looking into the more dubious tasks.” 

“Dubious?” Makarov echoed. “Every dark guild fears Tartaros. What could be dubious about that?”

He curled his hands into fists. “They fear a guild with no evidence or merit to show. There’s no paper trail that even confirms Tartaros’s existence. At least, none in our records. Since the Council first became aware of Tartaros, nearly no new information has been found. They’ve always been more of a scary bedtime story than an actual threat.” 

Makaro’ve anger was palpable. “Do you believe they are a threat now?!”

“Of course,” Doranbolt replied, swallowing thickly. “The Magic Council takes this attack on Fairy Tail wizards as an attack on the entire magical community. They aren’t taking this lightly. That being said, information won’t suddenly become available just because we need it to.” 

“Then why not interrogate these dark guilds that fear Tartaros so much?” Makarov demanded, his voice raising with indignation. “Surely they have more information than you bumbling council fools.” 

“Watch your tongue, Makarov,” Doranbolt snapped, his hand resting over the crest imbued on his chest. 

“My children are dead,” he reminded with a dangerous tone. “And those responsible owe us retribution.” 

Doranbolt studied the old guild master thoughtfully. Fairy Tail had caused a fair amount of trouble over the years, Titania and Salamander specifically, but never did any of the council members wish them death. After seeing them participate in the Grand Magic Games, Doranbolt understood their tenacious spirits and headstrong attitudes. Not to mention all the help they provided when going up against the Oracion Seis, Grimoire Heart, and the dragon attack on Fiore Kingdom. 

The continent of Ishgar owed Fairy Tail a large debt, one that they may never be able to repay. Before being returned to his cell, Cobra had mentioned that the gates of the Netherworld were about to open. Was this new development with Tartaros what he could’ve meant?

“Obtaining that information is out of my jurisdiction,” Doranbolt began slowly. Mentioning the information Cobra dropped was not something he was ready to reveal just yet. Lahar wouldn’t approve of him meddling with the council’s doings, but Doranbolt wasn’t about to stand by and helplessly watch people die. Not again. “But I can see what I can do.” He disappeared in a flash, giving Makarov no time to respond. 

Makarov exhaled deeply, feeling his age as his anger melted away. He was getting too old for this. Exhaustion didn’t even begin to describe what he felt the past few days. Settling back in his chair, he turned his gaze to his office window at the late afternoon skies. He stroked his mustache thoughtfully, mind turning over the visit from Doranbolt. The teleporter had bent the rules in the past regarding moral obligation. Makakov only hoped putting his faith in him again would not backfire. The fight ahead of them would not be easy, but he knew every detail he obtained regarding the wretched dark guild would be a step toward victory. 

His office door opened and shut behind him, and he swiveled to see his old friend giving him an accusing gaze. 

“What is it, Porlyusica?” he asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk. 

She studied him a moment, and then, “I could never understand your love for those brats. Mankind is such an insufferable species.” 

He smiled. “And yet, you’ve become quite fond of one of them, haven’t you?”

She scowled at his mention of Wendy, the only human she remotely liked. “Makarov, you have always been a man of action,” she pointed out, their long history coming to mind. “So, why is it that when three of your children have been killed, you have locked yourself away in your office while the rest of your guild grieves?”

All humor disappeared from his expression, and he glared at her. “I don’t appreciate you questioning my motives,” he grumbled. “I’m very well aware of the circumstances.” 

Porlyusica pursed her lips. “You know who killed them,” she announced, able to see right through his tactics. “But you haven’t told the others. Why?”

“Because it’s Tartaros.” 

She narrowed her eyes, now fully understanding his hesitation. “I see.” Her gaze roamed over the messy disarray of his office, where he had practically lived for the past few days. Knowing why he had been so adamant about keeping this piece of information a secret, she could appreciate his seclusion. However, “An obsession like this isn’t healthy.” 

He suddenly pounded his fist on his desk, causing the wood to splinter. His dark eyes glared daggers, palpable rage filling his expression. “They killed my children!” he roared, all pretense of quiet conversation lost. “I’ll be damned if I don’t return the favor.” His shoulders shuddered with his fury as he seethed.

There was something about Makarov’s reaction that had Porlyusica tightening her grip on her medicine bag. His character had always been true in nature and absolute. But this time, she knew the danger ahead was very real and there would be no convincing him otherwise that he shouldn’t go into this battle. “You’re an old fool,” she murmured as she turned to take her leave. As her hand moved to pull open the door, she turned to look over her shoulder. “Make sure you don’t die.” 

And before he could promise her he would be cautious, she had gone, surrendering an old man to his thoughts. 

After Porlyusica left Makarov’s office, she made her way through the main hall of the guild, eager to return to the East Forest. She had had her fill of human interaction for a while, and hoped she wouldn’t need to be called on again anytime soon. 

“Grandeeny, wait!”

Pausing to glance over her shoulder, the medicinal advisor took note of the little dragon slayer who she admittedly had become attached to. “I’ve told you not to call me that.” 

Wendy looked up at her with wide, brown eyes. “Are you leaving?”

She sighed, adjusting her cloak around her shoulders before turning to address the child. “There is nothing left for me to do here. Heartache is one thing I can’t fix.” 

“Can’t you stay?” she asked, tears in her eyes as she looked up at the woman who reminded her so much of her mother. 

Porlyusica studied her closely, feeling pity for Wendy and everything she had been through at such a young age. She rested a gentle hand on her head. “Listen well, child. For a wound to heal, you have to clean it out. Over and over again. This cleaning process stings, as the cleaning of a wound hurts.” She tilted her head thoughtfully, narrowing her eyes. “Healing takes so much work. So much persistence . And so much patience. But, every process has an end and an appointed term. Your healing will come. And like all created things, someday your pain will only be a dull ache in your memory.”

Tears filled Wendy’s eyes as she sniffled. With a final pat on her head, Porlyusica turned to take her leave. Her words were left in the space between them, a young dragon slayer holding onto them with every ounce of strength she had left. Because for the first time since that day, there was a small shred of hope peeking its way through.

Chapter Text

artwork by me

“Levy?” Cana shook her head, her glassy eyes turning back to the barrel she had been clutching since she strolled into the guild just after dawn. “I haven’t seen her all day. I didn’t see her come back to Fairy Hills last night either.” 

Gajeel leaned against the bar, steely eyes peering over the expanse of the guildhall. Only a week had passed since the news of Titania and Salamander’s deaths, along with that silly blue cat of his. Things were far from normal at the Fairy Tail guild, but slowly people were beginning to show up for meal times and try to make conversation. 

Some people, like Gray and Lucy, hadn’t been seen since the funeral. Gajeel hadn’t been too concerned about them - they had lost their teammates after all - but Levy had always been present. So, it bothered him that she had suddenly disappeared. 

Cana shrugged. “She’s been reading books pretty avidly lately, more so than usual anyways. Maybe check out the library?”

Gajeel grumbled a ‘thanks' before pushing off the bar and finding his way to the Fairy Tail library housed beneath the guild. He had never stepped foot inside the book repository. He never had a need to. So it took him a while to search through the maze of shelves. 

He found Levy near the back of the library sitting on the floor with a dozen books spread around her. She sat with her knees tucked beneath her, wind-reader glasses resting on the bridge of her nose, and hair pulled back by a headband. It was hard to tell in the dim light, but with Gajeel’s sharpened sight, he could see the bags forming under her eyes. She wasn’t destroyed, but she was getting there. 

“Hey, Shrimp,” he called out to grab her attention. 

Her brown eyes continued to quickly shift over the words on the page, completely zoned in on whatever had captured her attention. 

He crouched down, leaning his arms against his thighs. “Levy.” 

She startled, shooting her tired gaze to his. When she realized who he was, she relaxed, a breath of relief passing her lips. “Gajeel. What are you doing down here?”

“Came lookin’ for ya. Cana said she didn’t see you come home last night.” 

“Yeah, I was out late and I left pretty early this morning. Wanted to get some reading done.” She marked the page in her book and slipped off her glasses, rubbing her thumb and forefinger over tired eyes. Wisps of stray blue hair framed her face as she smiled up at him. 

He watched her carefully, taking note of how lifeless her peppy personality had become. “Your smile isn’t as bright as it used to be,” he off-handedly commented.

Pink dusted her cheeks. “O-Oh, is it now?” She chuckled nervously before shrugging and tilting her head. “Just give me a little while to be sad. Someday soon, I promise to come back brighter than ever!” She pumped her fist in the air to emphasize her words. 

Nothing could ever scare Gajeel more than the look in her eyes right then - that false bravado, the courageous face she was putting on. But her eyes told it all. Levy was slowly dying inside from the grief, and it terrified him. 

The iron-dragon slayer cleared his throat, glancing over the mountain of books she had surrounded herself with. Majority of them were in languages he couldn’t name, but the ones he could make out had the words ‘demons’ and ‘purgatory’ on the covers. “Uh, what’re you reading about?”

“Well,” she started sheepishly, poking her index fingers together and peering up at him with a hesitant expression - almost like a child waiting to be scolded. He raised a brow, prompting her to continue. “I, uh, I’m researching the demons that attacked Team Natsu.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “You serious? Those demons are long gone.” He scoffed and stood up. “Whoever did this will still be out there after we get our feet back under us.” 

Pursing her lips, Levy climbed to her feet beside him and shook her head. “I know that,” she murmured, clasping her hands in front of her and looking up at him with determination. “But if I stopped, if I gave up for now, I wouldn’t have anything left driving me forward and grief would consume me.” She released a shuddering breath, her eyes misty as she glanced away. “I-I can’t fix anyone’s pain. I can’t bring Natsu, Erza, or Happy back. I can’t piece together whatever happiness we have left. But this…” She turned and gestured to the towers of books. “Finding the people who did this, no matter how small of a chance - this is something I can do.” 

He studied her closely. For as long as Gajeel had known her, Levy had never given up. Not when she fought to forgive him after he brutally attacked her. Not during the battle of Fairy Tail when she rewrote Freed’s spell and released him and Natsu to take on Laxus. Not when they battled Grimroire Heart on Tenrou. Not even during the battle of the dragons as she pushed all the townsfolk to safety. She had always been front and center, doing everything in her power to ensure victory, no matter the cost. 

So, as he stared at her, petite yet fierce, he knew no matter what he said, she wasn’t going to let this one go. And part of him didn’t want to. Because the demons who had killed their guildmates were going to pay. 

“Tartaros.” 

Her brown eyes widened. “Wh-What?”

“It was Tartaros.” Gajeel had overhead Makarov that day in the guildhall, picked up easily with his sensitive hearing. Sleuthing was one of his strong suits. It’s why he was able to play a double-agent so well. However, Makarov’s caution regarding Tartaros was justified, and he wasn’t yet sure if he should question that decision. Makarov wasn’t exactly a man to doubt when it came to his motives. The other dragon slayers hadn’t been nearby, so Gajeel was sure he was the only one who knew. 

Levy swallowed thickly, her surprise quickly snuffed out with new resolve. “I-I had a feeling they may have been involved. They’re the only dark guild left that could’ve done something like this. Just hadn’t found proof yet,” she murmured, her eyes sweeping over her research. “Not sure how the demons tie into them though.” 

Gajeel smirked. Levy’s actions over the past couple of days and the books piled on the floor at their feet were evidence that she had figured it out. Of course she did. “Well, what did you find?”

They shared a look, one filled with unwavering conviction. The unknown of what laid ahead terrified them - the notion of going up against a dark guild known only as the Gates to the Underworld. But their pain and grief triumphed over everything. Their vengeance would remain strong and true until the bitter end, whenever that would come. 

For now, Levy smiled and sat down on the floor again to share what she had learned. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. 

After another unsettling night in the guildhall - quiet grieving masked by alcohol - Mirajane and Lisanna worked to clean up the aftermath. It had dawned on the elder Strauss sibling that they would run out of booze soon. They hadn’t yet recovered from their most recent celebration after Crocus, which had only been a week ago, but it felt as if a lifetime had passed since then. 

Had it only been seven days? Seven days since the end of the Grand Magic Games, the dragon attack, and the parties that followed. Natsu had stolen the king’s crown, an embarrassing yet hilarious end to their time in the capital. He had jubilantly shouted for them to bow down to him, causing Erza to nearly punish him on the spot for mortifying Fairy Tail. Everyone had laughed, including the king and Hisui, the terrifying battle with mythical creatures now behind them. They had been victorious. And now-

A jarring crash stole Mirajane’s attention, the echoes of broken glass filling the empty guildhall. She quickly looked over to see that her younger sister had dropped a plate, causing it to shatter on the floor. “Oh, Lisanna! Are you all right? Here, let me help.” 

She knelt down with a towel beside her, attempting to clean up the mess, but as they began picking up the broken pieces, Lisanna cut herself on a shard of glass. “Ouch,” she murmured while recoiling, wincing as a drop of blood appeared on her finger. 

“You have to be careful,” Mirajane gently chastised, wrapping her towel around Lisanna’s injury. 

Lisanna sighed, averting her gaze. She bit her lower lip until it was almost raw, the sisters remaining quiet as Mirajane put pressure on her finger to stop the blood flow. A few moments passed before Lisanna finally spoke up. “Is there something wrong with me?”

Mirajane was pulled from her thoughts and looked at the younger take-over mage. Ever since her youth, Lisanna had always had this upbeat and positive attitude. It was infectious and often kept Mirajane’s own worries at bay. But now, looking at the deep sadness that reflected in her eyes, Mirajane realized even the most positive people could have their world crushed. 

She tilted her head and knitted her brows. “What do you mean?”

Lisanna wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I-I know Lucy is a good person. She’s beautiful, smart, and kind. But…” She paused, swallowing thickly, and curling her uninjured hand into a tight fist. “I-I’ve been jealous of her ever since I met her.” 

Mirajane frowned. As far as she could tell, Lucy and Lisanna had been amicable since they met. She had seen no ire from either of them, and Lisanna had never confided in her with such feelings before. Yet, she had an inkling of where these emotions stemmed from. 

“But,” Lisanna continued with guilt-ridden eyes. “She was also Natsu’s best friend. I know I shouldn’t be jealous. When I was away, Lucy came along and became a part of Natsu’s life. And part of me is happy about that, because when I was in Edolas, I had been so worried about him - about what would happen to him without me around. Yet..” She paused again, tears filling her eyes. 

Shame was not an easy burden to carry. Mirajane rested a gentle hand on her sister’s shoulder. “What is it?”

Lisanna choked out a cry, hurrying to brush away the tears that fell down her cheeks. “I-I just can’t help feeling as if part of me holds Lucy responsible for Natsu and Happy’s deaths,” she confessed quietly, her sin finally out in the open. “She was there - right there - and didn’t save them! That somehow it’s all her fault that they’re gone.” 

Realizing the cause of her sister’s affliction, Mirajane’s heart went out to her. “Oh, Lisanna,” she sighed. 

“Is there s-something wrong with me?” she asked again, her words broken as whimpers escaped her lips. 

Mirajane wrapped her hands around her sister’s, coaxing their gazes to meet. “Yes, but it’s the same thing that’s wrong with all of us. We’re looking for someone to blame - someone tangible right in front of us - because it’s easier than believing this had all been a terrible tragedy at the hands of demons we can’t find.” 

Lisanna nodded her head, sniffling. “I just-” She paused, fruitlessly attempting to push away her tears. “I had so many things I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him how much I had missed him, and that I was proud of how strong he had become. Just so many unspoken thoughts and words, but I couldn’t say them to him. I couldn’t face him and admit to him that I was jealous, and how hurt I was when I came back and things weren’t the same. It’s because of that fear that I never got the chance to say the one that was important. I never had the chance-” *Hiccup* “To-To tell him I loved him.” 

As she broke down crying, Mirajane pulled her to her chest, feeling her own eyes well up with tears. Long ago she had suspected the animal take-over mage had developed feelings for the dragon slayer. Their friendship ran deep and the two were rarely seen without the other. Even though Lisanna had her siblings, and Natsu had the rest of the rowdy bunch of young wizards, the two of them had always shared a special connection. 

If she were being honest, Mirajane couldn’t remember Lisanna and Natsu actually sharing a moment alone after she returned from Edolas. The S-Class Trials began only weeks later, and they had all been swept up in the grandeur of friendly skirmishes. After their seven year stasis, they immediately began to train for the Grand Magic Games. Between being declared the victors and the battles with the dragons immediately following, it was amazing that Lisanna had adjusted as well as she did. They really hadn’t been granted the opportunity to immerse her back into their life. The sisters had shared conversations and talked late into the night on plenty of occasions, catching Lisanna up on what she had missed during her time away, but that didn’t account for the memories and emotional attachments she had missed. 

Mirajane felt the weight of the world on her shoulders and the weight of Lisanna’s grief in her arms as she contemplated her sister’s predicament. “I know it’s difficult to keep going,” Mirajane soothed quietly, running a hand through her hair. “But just know that you have to.” 

“How?” Lisanna cried out, her emotional vexation reminding Mirajane so much of her own when a certain red-head had come to her aid. “How can I, when I feel so bitter, as if I have no direction anymore?”

Mirajane smiled sadly. “I remember that feeling. You’re caught between all that was and all that must be. You feel lost.” She pulled away to look down at her sister, wiping away her tears. “But remember, things will weigh you down, but only if you let them. I get it. It’s hard to pretend that a boulder is a feather. It’s hard to pretend that something difficult is easy. So, just do what I’ve done for years. I just pretend that I’m strong, until I am.” 

Lisanna sniffled, her sobs finally beginning to quiet. 

The elder take-over mage sighed, memories turning back to when she thought Lisanna had died, and the guilt that nearly killed Elfman. “You may feel bitter toward Lucy, and angry over Natsu. But the truth is,” she said, gently resting her forehead against her sister’s. “Unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself for those feelings, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize the situation is over - you can’t move forward.” 

Levy knocked on a familiar door she had walked through many times before. She played with a strand of her hair, brown eyes drawn to the floor boards beneath her feet. It had become her daily ritual when taking a break from the library to walk to the apartment complex not far from the guild hall, her heart aching for a smiling, blonde, celestial wizard to welcome her in. But that moment had yet to come. Not the day after the funeral, or the week that followed. Lucy Heartfilia had become a ghost, locking herself within the same four walls and refusing to see anyone. 

The solid-script mage exhaled deeply, feeling terribly helpless during this time of grieving. Her research hadn’t turned up anything worthwhile at the Fairy Tail library, so in between musing over other means of gathering information, she filled her days of attempting to bring some semblance of normalcy back to the guild. She read books in the hall and tried to greet everyone with a cheerful smile. The awkward responses she received indicated she was trying too hard, but she didn’t know what else to do. They needed someone to spur them into action, a speech of hope and faith to give them the final push toward defeating their current adversary. 

However, Makarov had said nothing on the subject, instead locking himself within his office for days on end, allowing only Mirajane and Laxus to speak with him on occasion. Levy didn’t know what the master was planning, but she had a sneaking suspicion he was doing his own digging into Tartaros, perhaps pulling strings she herself did not possess. 

“Lucy,” she called out desperately for her friend, knocking again in the hopes this time she would let her in. The deep blues of night had descended on Magnolia, snuffing out the last bit of sunlight, and causing Levy to feel that more anxious about Lucy’s well-being. “Please, I just want to talk, make sure you’re okay.” Her eyes filled with frustrated tears, hands curling into fists at her sides. “I’m worried sick, Lu. Open the door.” 

The tiny script mage’s voice was stern - demanding - so different from her carefree nature only weeks before. She was tired of fighting against Lucy’s absurd way of shutting out the world. They were a family, dammit, and they needed each other. Couldn’t she see that? 

She pushed her blue hair out of her face, setting one last despondent look at Lucy’s apartment door before turning to leave. Just as she began making her way out of the front door, Loke appeared in a glitter of golden light, startling her. His suit was clean-pressed as usual, but his expression twisted into one of concern. 

“Levy,” he greeted languidly, slipping his hands into the pockets of his slacks. 

“How is she?” Levy asked, hands wrapping around themselves in worry. “Why-Why won’t she let me in?”

“She’s okay,” he soothed, dark circles under his eyes speaking of exhaustion. He readjusted his glasses. “Don’t worry. Her spirits are looking after her. Lucy suffered a terrible loss, and she’s taking it hard.” He sighed, looking over at her door as if he could see right through it. “From what Aquarius told me, when Lucy’s mother died, she tried to do the same thing. But she was young - easily distracted by her estate’s employees and the little attention her father gave her.” 

Levy shook her head dismissively. “Then why won’t she let us help her now? Why won’t she come to the guild, or let us in?”

He shrugged. “She just lost her team, and one of her best friends - the person who gave her purpose in life again. Lucy spent years under her father’s thumb until she ran away to find happiness. Natsu gave that to her. He brought her to Fairy Tail. She’s going to need time to heal.” 

That wasn’t the explanation Levy wanted to hear, but she could understand what Loke was saying. And seeing as how some of Lucy’s spirits had been with her for far longer than the guild had, she supposed they understood her grieving process better than she. Even so, Loke’s words did little to soothe her worry. 

“If she becomes a real concern, I’ll make sure to come find you,” Loke said as a last attempt to pacify her apprehension. “I promise.” 

Levy nodded, her gaze holding his. “I’m trusting you,” she murmured, before pushing past him and out the front door. 

Loke stood for a moment, rubbing tired eyes, before slipping back into Lucy’s room. Virgo was in the process of running her a warm bath. Although Lucy always loved soaking in her tub, it had been hard to convince her to do so lately. 

“Here you go, Princess,” he heard Virgo say from beyond the bathroom door, assisting their mage into the tub. Shortly after, Virgo stepped out into the room, exchanging a look of unease with him. 

Lucy sank down into the water, the silver-gray stream curling and dancing through the air, filling the bathroom completely. After a while, a golden light shimmered in the air, and Aquarius appeared, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at Lucy’s indifferent expression. 

“Lucy,” she tried, receiving not even a notion that she had been heard. She frowned, her usual bitter attitude and short-lipped responses falling to the wayside. Pathetic didn’t even begin to describe the blonde sitting before her. She sighed. “You can’t blame yourself,” she murmured, watching her carefully. “Not for this.” 

The celestial mage turned her head away, eyes staring at moisture accumulating on the tile floor. “How can I not?” she asked quietly. “I survived and they didn’t.”

Aquarius had no real answer for that. Survivor’s guilt was not something that could be overcome easily. It was like the weight of the ocean’s walls were crushing a person, uncontrolled by levis. The mermaid spirit had been around long enough to have seen many of her former key holders experience such a thing. Being a wizard was not always a joyous job to yield. 

“It’s okay that you survived,” she spoke softly, looking at Lucy with a pitied gaze. “I’m even happy about it.” 

That made Lucy look up at her with a raised brow. 

A deep blush settled on Aquarius’s cheeks. “Look, you may be a brat, but you’re Layla’s daughter. Of course I wouldn’t want anything really bad to happen to you.” 

For the first time in a long time, Lucy’s lips tugged into a half-hearted smile. “Thanks, Aquarius.” Although their relationship had always been close to volatile, the mermaid spirit spoke her care discreetly. 

Aquarius folded her arms over her chest, blue eyes continuing to study Lucy. Her grief this time had upended her life much like Layla’s death had, but this time, Lucy wasn’t an easily distractible child. The celestial mage understood very well what had happened to her friends, and had witnessed the trauma first hand. It wouldn’t be something that she would be able to overcome anytime soon. 

“You should talk about it,” Aquarius urged gently. 

Lucy’s reaction was instantaneous. She wrapped her arms tighter around her knees and hid her face between them. Aquarius could feel the anxiety coming off the girl in waves. “I-I can’t,” Lucy’s muffled, shaky voice came from the protection of her self-made sheath. 

A deep exhale slipped from her lips. With a hand more gentle than ever before, Aquarius ran her fingers through Lucy’s golden tresses before coming to rest comfortably on top. “You’ll have to eventually. When you’re ready.” 

Coruscating golden light filled the room and Lucy felt Aquarius’s hand disappear along with her presence. She was left alone in a lukewarm bath. Aquarius always hated bath time. The fact that she had decided to show up now soothed Lucy’s heart. 

Moments later, Virgo assisted Lucy into her pajamas and then to the couch, where Virgo set about brushing Lucy’s hair. Silence filled the apartment, Virgo being careful not to pull at Lucy’s tresses. Loke stood by the window, looking down at the street below, stealing glances behind him at his mage. 

Loke had lived for a very long time. He had seen the blackest moments grief and tragedy could offer. They could bury a person alive simply by the sheer weight of it all. The darkness would swallow people whole without mercy, even bringing about death. Yet, he had also seen the other side of that coin - the light that shined brightly despite the wickedness life would bring. He witnessed euphoria and triumph, the gleeful laughter of happiness too much to contain. 

More than anything, Loke wanted to show Lucy that world - the brilliant sun and the skies. Happiness lived outside of these four walls she had cocooned herself within. It existed all around - in the ice creams that melted quickly; the sandy beaches and waves that tickled ankles; in the little white shells hidden under the sand, their insides still grainy with remnants of sand and iridescence. There was happiness in the fiery red and orange hues that filled the sky when the sun bid farewell; and happiness even in the pale calm of the night with the stars that shone above, reminders of all the things that were greater than the world. 

There was so much more to this life than her grief, and he only wished he could help her see past this moment. 

“All finished,” Virgo said quietly as she ran her fingers through Lucy’s tresses a final time. 

“Thank you.” The mage’s mumbled gratitude was more conversation than the spirits had hoped she would have offered. She hadn’t been up for much talking. 

Virgo exchanged a look with Loke before disappearing back to the celestial realm. Still, Lucy didn’t move. Her gaze fixated on a spot on the wall, her fingers fidgeting with the blanket on her lap, her mind obviously elsewhere. 

“Are you okay?” Loke asked, quickly chastising himself for asking the question as Lucy scoffed. The blonde didn’t spare him a glance, but did pull her gaze to her lap. He closed the distance between them and stood in front of her so he could meet her eyes. His expression let her know he wasn’t going to leave until she answered him. 

She wasn’t able to hold his stare long before she looked away. “I’m just tired, all right?” she finally said to pacify him. It seemed to be her answer every time he asked. And he asked a lot. Over and over and over again, day in and day out, as if waiting for her answer to change. He was sure he was beginning to annoy her, but to be frank, any emotion that Lucy exhibited other than overwhelming sadness was a win in his book.

“Get up.” It was more of a demand than a request, which only seemed to anger Lucy further. 

She frowned and ignored him, not even entertaining him with a response. If she had her way, he was sure she would fall asleep on the couch just to spite him. 

Loke sighed and knelt down so he was eye-level with her. “Please, Lucy. Do it for me.” 

His pleading gaze nearly broke her conviction. He could see it. They had been through so much in such a short time together, he knew she would have a hard time denying his request. Was he playing dirty by waving their trust in her face? Probably. But he was desperate. 

The lion spirit reached out a hand and covered hers. “If you do, I promise I’ll give you some space.” 

Well, that compromise seemed to peak her interest. “Why?” she asked warily.

He chuckled, picking up on her guarded expression. “We aren’t going far. You’ll like it. Trust me.” 

And he knew that was something Lucy could never deny. The trust between them was iron-clad and something she would never dispute. “Fine,” she ultimately conceded with a deep sigh. “Where to?”

“Follow me.” 

The Leader of the Zodiac took her hand in his, guiding her carefully to her apartment door. She hesitated as he attempted to direct her into the hallway, panicking about venturing back into the world that still turned without half of Team Natsu. But Loke encouraged her with a gentle tug.

Lucy took a deep breath and followed him up the stairs to the third floor, and then up further still until they happened upon the hatch to the roof. Loke opened it before reaching behind him and helping Lucy out. “What are we doing out here?” she asked once she was standing beside him. 

He stayed silent, pulled her with him toward the front end, and sat down near the edge where the shingles began slanting downward. He patted the ground beside him invitingly and she cautiously joined him. Once she settled in he pointed out toward Magnolia, past the river the boatmen always drifted down. 

“Look, Lucy.” 

She followed his finger to where the sky met the horizon far beyond the town. The outline of the Fairy Tail guild, shrouded in darkness, could be seen, and just beyond that sat Lake Sciliora. A shimmering of stars lit up the night sky, becoming more visible as the midnight hour approached. The city quietly began to fall asleep as lights faded from windows and people emptied the streets. 

Folding her knees and wrapping her arms around them, Lucy wistfully gazed at the heavens. “I wish I was a star,” she said aloud. 

Loke reached over and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “But don’t you see,” he murmured, her eyes pulling to his. “You’re already a galaxy. You have universes trapped beneath your skin and stardust shining in your eyes. You are so much more than a star.” 

Tears welled in her eyes. “What-What if I don’t want to be more than a star?” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

“Oh, Lucy,” Loke soothed, brushing away a tear that slid down her cheek. 

“Loke,” she cried out, no longer able to hold back her sobs. “I-I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” 

He frowned as she began to cry, her shoulders shaking. “This isn’t the end,” he tried, wanting her to understand that she wouldn’t always feel this way. 

“But what if I-I want it to be?”

Her words tore through Loke; the very thought of Lucy feeling so broken as to even consider the idea of no longer existing made his stomach drop. Had she truly fallen so far? Had the beautiful, shining blonde who always smiled become so grief-stricken as to even consider taking her life? The very idea nearly made him snap. 

Loke reached out and pulled Lucy into his arms, wrapping her tightly in his embrace as if he could hold her together. She wept into his chest, folding herself within him and hiding from the world. “It’s going to be okay,” he murmured, his repetition glaring, but he wasn’t sure what the right words were to say. 

“I-I wish I didn’t need y-you to tell me-e that,” she sputtered through her tears. 

He pulled away then, needing to look at her, needing her to understand how serious he was being. Her confession terrified him. “You have me,” he promised sharply, wiping away her tears as quickly as they fell, holding her head between his hands. Her lips wobbled and her eyes were glassy. She reached up and held his hands, leaning into his touch. “You have me,” he repeated in a gentler tone. “Until every last star in the galaxy dies, you have me.” 

Loke pulled her back into his arms and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of her ragged breathing. He knew no matter what he said to her, nothing would lessen the impact of her pain. He could only sit there and hold her, offer her whatever she required of him, anything to help her smile again. Because ever since that day, the heavenly bodies didn’t shine as brightly. 

Lucy’s cries soon lessened to whimpers, her tears drying up, and she finally settled down to shaky sighs. After a long moment, he pulled away and allowed space between them. He didn’t say anything, allowing her this moment of quiet. 

The blonde tucked her hair behind her ears, smoothing it out as if to make herself more presentable. He didn’t know why. She had always been beautiful to him. He reached out and ran his thumb across her jaw, his eyes searching hers. “I’m here with you.” 

She nodded silently, her eyes leaving him and searching the horizon again. Darkness had fully descended over Magnolia, and the sky was alight with the stars she loved so much. 

Loke followed her gaze and then pointed into the sky. “Which constellation is that?”

Lucy easily found which stars he pointed to. “Saggitarius,” she murmured. 

“And that one?” he asked, indicating another point in the sky. 

She allowed a small smile. “Capricorn.” 

He took her hand. “Every time you start to feel down, every time you begin to think of the end, I want you to look to the stars,” he said. “Name the constellations. Know that this world is so great and beautiful - and would be less-so if you were gone.” 

Brown eyes met his, and for the first time since everything went to hell, Loke saw life flicker behind her gaze. Lucy was still there - no longer drowning, but still swimming, trying to get to shore. 

Chapter Text

Commission by @elevenharbor 

 

Acrid tendrils of thick, grey smoke curled around him and clouds of ash streaked the night sky. Humid air clung to his skin, making it hard to breathe. The city rose before him, created of tar and embers, and mirroring the derelict shells of Isvan. Crunching gravel tore Gray’s attention to his right, fire illuminating a red halo that captivated him as it spun in the breeze. 

The color of her hair.

He suddenly felt sick, his mouth dropping open in stunned horror as he watched Erza stumble toward him. She dragged her sword behind her, a murderous look in her eyes as she stared vacantly at him - through him - as if he meant nothing to her. Her armor was gone, the fairy tail emblem on her left shoulder gleaming from the embers burning the scorched earth. 

“Erza?” he murmured, shifting to try and climb to his feet, but a sharp pain rocketed through his stomach, paralyzing him. He pressed a hand over his wound, trying to keep his thoughts together as the pain ebbed and flowed, blood seeping over his skin and dripping to the ground beneath him. 

Words didn’t answer him, only the look in her eyes, regarding him and holding him solely accountable. Her piercing stare studied him with unforgiving judgment. It was his fault, his fault, his fault. 

'I’m sorry!' he tried to scream, attempting to relay to his comrade - his friend, his family - that he had never meant for her to die for him, for any of them to die for him . But no sound came out, merely a gasping breath as he felt his throat tighten. 

Erza stood only a few feet away from him now, her eyes never blinking, never tearing away from his face, blaming him for her death. She slowly lifted her sword, unapologetically vengeful as she raised it over her head, preparing to strike him where he cowered, emotionally and physically incapable of moving. 

And then her ribs snapped like twigs, the crunch of bone grating to his ears as her body recoiled, her sword dropping with a loud clunk against the dirt. Blood, as red as the hair that framed her face, flooded through her eyes and her guts came tumbling out of her mouth. She fell to her knees, hands clawing at her throat as if to do away with the threat on her life. An agonized scream, muffled by the bile dripping from her lips, pierced the air as she fell, writhing in agony as her stomach was ripped open, and all her organs poured out. 

Gray watched, petrified to where he sat, as Erza slowly and horrifically died, her venomous glare never leaving him. 

His fault.

She drooled red blood. 

Gray startled awake and abruptly sat up in bed, every thought in high definition. Wide eyes took in the dark shadows of his room lit by the purple glow of twilight, and his shaky and uneven breaths that forced their way out. Cicadas buzzed outside his window, indicating he had slept the afternoon away. 

His hand ran through his messy hair, his skin slicked with a cold sweat, as his nightmares taunted him from the edges of his thoughts. “Just a dream,” he murmured, the gruesome image of Erza’s corpse permanently frozen behind his eyelids. With his heart beating frantically beneath his chest and the unsettling nightmare corralling his thoughts, he knew he would be a far cry from falling back to sleep. 

Just as well. Apparently he hadn’t had enough to drink before succumbing to an intoxicated doze. He had found alcohol let him sleep dreamlessly, albeit fitfully, and had come to use it as a crutch to keep the nightmares at bay. But he must not have had enough, for Erza’s judgemental gaze had found him, holding him irrefutably responsible. 

She died, and it may have well been by his own hand. 

His lips pulled into a frown, the rational part of his brain trying to convince him that he wasn’t to blame, but those thoughts were easily squashed. How many people had sacrificed themselves for him? Had died for him? At this point, it wasn’t a coincidence, it was a pattern. The only commonality between them all had been him - weak, foolish, insignificant Gray Fullbuster. 

The thought left a bitter taste on his tongue, and with his wakefulness now surging to life, he also felt a hangover beginning to rear its ugly head. He became acutely aware of his brain feeling like it would swell beyond the capacity of his skull, and his dehydration became too obvious to ignore. His tongue felt like cotton as he licked his dry, cracked lips. 

Right now he wanted two things: a way to make the nightmares vanish, and a cure for his hangover. 

Enough booze would accomplish both. 

Gray’s gaze roamed his disheveled apartment, finding the empty bottle of liquor he had bought the previous day. “Shit,” he groaned, hanging his head before precariously pulling his legs from beneath his comforter. He sat on the edge of his bed, exhaling a deep sigh. He didn’t have enough Jewel to buy another bottle right now, so his only alternative would be to get drunk at the guild - or more truthfully, drunk on Gramps’ dime. 

Since… He swallowed thickly. Ever since that day, Gray hadn’t shown his face at the guild much. The last thing he wanted was to be all clingy with his guildmates as they grieved for the dead. He didn’t want to mourn anymore. It wouldn’t change anything. And the more time that passed, the more he grew hot with rage. 

He felt a fire in his chest, a searing heat that ran through his veins like dry ice. The desire to brutally beat someone to a pulp was so intense, the only thing he found to quiet the darker parts of himself was keeping a bottle to his lips. It would blur his sense of reason, but it would also numb the pain. That was enough to keep his anger in check. 

Weighing his options, Gray voted that getting drunk with his guildmates was better than being hungover by himself, so he finally stumbled his way to the bathroom. After emptying his bladder and throwing on a pair of pants he deemed somewhat-clean after a quick smell, he made his way out of his apartment and down the street. 

The Fairy Tail guildhall stood at the edge of Magnolia like a forgotten relic. A once brightly-lit beacon on the coast now stood as a dark and somber reminder of what had been lost. When he used to walk to the guild at such a late hour, he would be able to hear the boisterous voices inside from a mile away. Now he only heard the deafening quiet. It was unnerving, a stark contrast to what he had come to know as home for the last decade. 

Light and laughter and the insane energy that made up Fairy Tail.. Was it all lost? Did all of their tenacity and spirit die the day Natsu, Erza, and Happy did? Had their group of misfits been so battered and bruised from childhood that Natsu’s virgin optimism and Erza’s headstrong courage were the only things that held them together? 

Gray clenched his jaw, his barely-concealed anger simmering just beneath the surface. He needed a drink. He needed to stop thinking.

Shuffling into the Fairy Tail Guild, Gray barely paid attention to those who occupied the hall. He only had one thing on his mind as he made a beeline for the bar. Cana sat two stools down from him, which wasn’t surprising, because as of late she appeared to have made that stool her permanent residence. 

“A drink, Mira,” Gray called to the barmaid, which earned him a concerned glance, but she moved to do as he asked. 

“Jeez, Gray, you smell like a brewery,” Cana quipped, covering her nose with the hand that wasn’t clutching her drink. 

He scoffed. “That’s rich coming from you, Boozy.” 

Cana frowned and studied him closely. His cheeks flushed and he squirmed under her gaze, not enjoying the feeling of being scrutinized. She finally sighed and looked back at the mug in her hand. “Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it,” she murmured sympathetically. 

Her words did nothing to soothe his ire, the resentment and fear clawing at his throat as the image of Erza’s body flashed through his mind. Cana’s sympathy only made his irritation intensify ten-fold. “Don’t patronize me,” he said with a sneer. “You of all people have no room to talk.” 

She raised a brow and glanced around at the near-empty guildhall before returning her attention to the ice-make mage. He was right; if anyone knew about drinking one’s problems away, it was definitely Cana Alberona. Hoping to quell the storm raging within him, she scooted a barstool closer to him. “All right, buddy. Talk to me.” 

Gray stole a look at the card mage. Her eyes were glassy and her cheeks were flushed, a sure sign of her intoxication, yet she seemed to enjoy being chronically drunk. He thought after she had confessed her lineage to Gildarts, her drinking would taper off, but Cana remained immutably sloshed. But there was something different about the way she looked at him - with pity in her eyes for the poor ice mage who could barely keep himself alive. Of course he wouldn’t be able to protect those he cared for. He couldn’t even protect himself. 

He clenched his hands into fists as they rested on the bartop. He recognized that Cana was only trying to be a friend, but a friend wasn’t what he needed right now. Having a simple conversation wasn’t going to change the past, and wouldn’t avenge the dead. “What's there to talk about?”

Her lips pulled into a frown. “Well, you have to talk to someone. Obviously the liquor isn’t doing the job.” 

Damn. This was exactly why he would’ve rather become obliterated in the darkness of his apartment - where he could be alone to drown his sorrows and anger, force the nightmares and memories to fade if only for a few restless hours of drunken sleep. He instead found himself at the mercy of the card mage whose magic could read him regardless if he wanted her to or not. It made his skin crawl with nerves.

“I wasn’t…” Gray chewed over his words, trying to piece them together in a way that conveyed his barely restrained emotions. He swallowed thickly past the lump forming in his throat, staring wistfully at the bartop. He was no longer at the guild; he was back out on that battlefield of Freesia, hearing the terrified shrieks, the cries of his friends, seeing the color red as it pooled from their wounds. Heat from the blasts seared his skin, pain rocketing through him as claws ripped apart muscle. His hands shook. “I couldn’t save them. Out there, I wasn’t strong enough to help anybody. I couldn’t even save myself.” 

He heard Cana set her mug down before she rested her hand on his shoulder. “That’s not your fault,” she tried to soothe. “You’re not to blame.”

Any quiet pretense she had hoped for as she comforted him was quickly extinguished. Cana didn’t understand his utter hopelessness, the guilt that ate away at him every waking moment, and terrorized his dreams. She wasn't there . Gray had always been the level-headed member of Team Natsu, or so he had been told. The chaos that imbued their team had been centered by Lucy’s intelligence and his cool demeanor. He rarely lashed out or lost control.

But now the levee, barely keeping his raging emotions in check, broke at Cana’s words and a shower of icicles awoke within him. “To hell I’m not!” he snarled as he stood, knocking the barstool over, setting such an intense glare on her, it would’ve plunged terror into the most steadfast of hearts. She jerked her hand away as if she'd been burned. He then whipped his attention to Mirajane, who had not gone unnoticed as she silently listened in on their conversation. “Are you gonna get me that drink or what?” he barked, his voice sharp and causing the barmaid to flinch. 

“Gray!” Cana snapped. 

A thick anger fell upon him, burying all the other emotions that were harder to feel. “I don’t want to hear it,” he said in a low, dangerous tone, warning her not to push back. “I just want my damn drink.” So I can forget it all. 

Gray felt overcome by storm clouds, rolling together and clashing, the thunder within him rattling any sliver of control he had left. He fumbled for a way out of this, the feelings that were too big and dark and heavy for him to navigate, but the only solution his muddled mind could grasp at was drowning in alcohol, to mute the overwhelming emotions threatening to shatter him. 

Cana’s expression hardened, her lips setting in a thin line. “I think you need to go back to bed,” she warned in a clipped tone. 

By this point, the soft murmurs of conversation throughout the guild had quieted, all attention drawn to the heated argument at the bar. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Gajeel’s carmine eyes drifted to where Gray was causing a stir. Mirajane looked more fragile than ever, her misty eyes glancing between Cana and Gray, her bottom lip trembling. And Cana looked as if she were about to take off Gray’s head after he had snapped at the barmaid. 

Everyone barely held it together and any little upset could smash the shaky foundation they stood upon. It was a miracle they still remained vertical.

“Keep it down, Popsicle,” Gajeel said from the bench he lazed upon, resting his chin on his fist, elbow leaning on the table. 

Gray’s attention snapped to him. “What did you say?”

The iron dragon slayer climbed to his feet and stalked toward the bar. “I told you to shut it.” 

Whatever shaky command Gray had left over his emotions finally splintered then. His eyes flashed, and he threw his fist in the dragon slayer’s direction. Gajeel easily side-stepped the poorly aimed punch, Gray’s emotionally charged stance not even close to being on target. “What the hell, Streaker?!” he growled venomously. “Taking me out ain’t gonna fix anything.” 

“Stop it, please,” Mirajane begged as she watched Gray round on Gajeel for another attack, the latter avoiding it again. “We shouldn’t be fighting each other!”

“Fight dammit!” Gray yelled, infuriated with his punches only meeting air. He ignored Mirajane’s cry as his hands moved to produce an ice creation aimed at a man who stood as strong as iron. “Don’t just stand there! What the hell happened to you?! Come on, Black Steel Gajeel! Fight back!”

“You want to go?” he sneered in return, his hands flexing as the air temperature cooled. “You need to punch something that bad?”

Furious, Gray responded with an attack, his battle cry of “ice-make lance!” drowning out his guildmates’ protests. 

Gajeel blocked his attack with a sword, red eyes glaring at him. “I’m not the enemy anymore!”

The look in Gray’s eyes reflected that he was beyond reason and no amount of words would penetrate his erratic emotions. Before he could draw on another attack, Gajeel swiftly kneed him in the chin, twisted Gray’s arm behind his back and grappled him to the ground. Despite the ringing in his ears from the sharp strike to his chin, Gray struggled against Gajeel, fighting to regain the upper hand. 

“Let go!” Gray shouted, wrestling against the knee pressed into the middle of his shoulders. He had never sparred with Gajeel before - something he now regretted - so his awareness of the dragon slayer’s strength and fighting moves was negligible at best. In his desperation, Gray resorted to pulling and pushing against anything he could, fighting to turn the tides of their skirmish. Just as he managed to pull his arm under him for leverage to heave Gajeel off him, he found himself the victim of a dog pile, with Elfman, Warren, Nab, and Max joining in Gajeel’s effort to restrain him. 

“Picking fights with your comrades?” Elfman said with a scoff. “That’s not being a real man!”

“Get off me!” Gray tried again, resisting the immense weight pressing into him. He wanted to fight them all, the frenzied emotions within him consuming any rational thought he had. Never had he experienced such an intense desire to punch someone - not even Natsu - but his bottled up rage spilled over. How could he quell something so immensely powerful?

He blindly threw up his elbow to make contact with Elfman, and used the momentum to twist and lock his fist into Nab’s chin, the movement causing Gajeel to lose purchase on his other arm. “Ice-make floor!” A sheet of ice covered the immediate area around him, enough to send his guildmates slipping and fumbling over the sudden loss of stable ground. It was just enough of an advantage for Gray to slide out of their clutches and put distance between him and those who wanted to subdue his volatile behavior. 

Climbing to his feet outside of the floor of ice, Gray’s chest heaved unevenly as he struggled to draw shaky breaths, rattled from the physical and emotional struggle. He felt like a caged animal backed into a corner, his emotional wrath and the stares of his guildmates suffocating - eyes studying him from those sprawled across the floor, from the bar, from the few wizards scattered across the guild. The atmosphere felt too thick, the heaviness of their gazes swerving between pity and judgment. 

“I don’t need this,” Gray muttered, closing the distance between him and the bar in a few long strides, leaning over and grabbing a bottle of whiskey near the tap. “I don’t need any of you.” Turning his back on the other members of Fairy Tail, he left the guildhall, letting the door slam shut behind him. 

Juvia felt sick to her stomach. She had seen Gray spar with his fellow wizards several times in the past, but this time felt different. This time there had been unadulterated madness behind every blow, and it terrified her. Since she had met Gray on the roof of Phantom Lord’s base, he had always been cool and collected, reflecting the magic he wielded with ease. Even when they were enemies, their battle was wrought with apologies, flustered words, and quick-witted maneuvers that brought him victory. 

She had never even heard him raise his voice - at least, not like this. Not in true, blind rage, not in the sense of actually wanting to cause harm to one of his guildmates. And maybe that wasn’t completely accurate. He had been lashing out, so perhaps his intention to harm was frivolous at best. Yet, the encounter had left Juvia shaken, frozen to her place where Gajeel had once been sitting, unable to tear her eyes away from the train wreck in front of her. 

Gray didn’t lash out. Gray didn’t let emotions jostle him. Gray didn’t lose his head. 

Juvia’s breath came quick, her heart hammering in her chest, as fear crept up her spine like winter’s chill. If the events that had changed everything for them were enough to rattle the cool and collected ice mage, who remained steady no matter the challenge, what did that mean for the rest of them? 

She walked toward the bar, where Cana remained with her brows scrunched in irritation. “What a dick,” the resident boozer mumbled before tipping back her mug. 

The bluenette’s eyes drifted from Cana and Mirajane to the guildhall doors. “Juvia will follow him to make sure he’s all right.” 

Cana glanced her way. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea right now,” she deplored, a touch of concern in her voice. “He’s not in his right mind.”

“Are any of us?” Juvia murmured, then turned and followed Gray into the night. 

She knew the walk to Gray’s apartment like the back of her hand, a route she had taken more than she cared to admit. Juvia had never actually been in his apartment, never gathering the courage to attempt to cross that invisible line, but she did tend to gravitate toward that area of town when she was out for a stroll, or taking the long way to where Gajeel and Pantherlily lived. The night was warm, the last purple hues of sunset fading, allowing stars to begin their iridescent twinkle in the sky. 

Clasping her hands behind her back, Juvia slowed her steps, mind tumbling over what words to say that could possibly ease Gray’s distress. She had never been a master of language, never been able to command a room with a few well-placed verses. Her ability to carry conversation matched her aptness at developing meaningful relationships - she blundered both entirely. She stumbled over words and awkward exchanges, never understanding that human connection that so many found with ease. 

She blamed her upbringing, shuttled between orphanages, on the receiving end of taunts and disgusted looks. The rain kept away the warmth of the sun, and with it, the welcoming embrace of friendship. It had been lonely, and so very isolated, leaving her awkward and confused when it came to interacting with those around her. 

So how was she, the gloomy rain woman with only a fragment of human understanding, supposed to comfort a man who stood as steady as a glacial mass as it drifted through the seas? Where she faltered, Gray stood firm. She had never known him to be weak or needing the relieving embrace of a friend. He had never seemed to seek out comfort in touch or conversation. He had always been strong. 

Then again, Juvia began to wonder if perhaps she had been so blinded by her adoration for him that she failed to read between the lines. Because certainly the man she had fallen in love with could carry the weight of the world on his shoulders without even a stumble. He had taken the rain away, igniting her life in sun-kissed rays. He was her savior, her knight in shining armor, and everything she wasn’t. 

But had she missed something? Had she missed sadness beneath his guarded gaze? Had she failed to notice his silent cry for help in the glances she had stolen from him after the battle with the dragons? Should she have asked if he was okay? Should she have offered her quiet company, if only to let him know that she was there to lean on? 

A frown tugged at her lips. Maybe she was naive. Maybe she had been so swept up in the grandeur of seeing the sun, feeling its warmth, that she had ignored the very simple fact that perhaps she didn’t know Gray at all. They hadn’t even known each other a full year, if they didn’t count the years spent in stasis on Tenrou Island. She remained ignorant of the unseen scars that ravaged his heart, completely oblivious of his past. 

What adversities had he overcome for Gray Fullbuster to become the man he was today? 

Juvia didn’t know, and that fact made her stomach contract into a tight ball. 

She paused and looked up at the towering apartment complex in front of her; a brown-stoned building with forest green shutters and a rooftop that blended into the night sky. Her hands toyed with the cotton end of her sleeves, rolling lint balls between her thumb and forefinger. Even after the walk, words still escaped her, but she couldn’t turn back, not when she knew he was hurting. 

With a deep breath, Juvia entered the apartment building, climbed three flights of stairs, and rapped her knuckles against Gray’s door. It took a moment for it to creak open on its hinges, Gray’s silhouette back-lit by a soft, yellow glow. His hair was tousled, and his hot temper seemed to have evaporated as he looked down at her. He didn’t look surprised, nor angry. The wrath he had exhibited at the guildhall was missing, as if it had only been a ghost playing on the strings of their heartbreak. He had even thrown on a button-down shirt, granted it had been left unbuttoned, his skin awash in amber from the dim hallway lights. 

“Juvia,” he mumbled in greeting, leaning his arm against the doorframe, his forehead against his forearm. “What’re you doin’ here?”

She swallowed thickly, praying to Mavis words wouldn’t leave her. “Juvia came to see you.” She clenched a hand over her chest, hoping to stop her trembling. “Juvia wanted to make sure you were all right.” 

“Hn.” His brows furrowed as he inclined his chin. “Do I look all right?”

No, she wanted to scream, tell him how much he terrified her. His words were biting, and harsher than he had ever spoken to her. There was a cold fury about him now, not the fiery outrage she had seen at the guild, but something more reserved and unsettling. She wasn’t sure which Gray scared her more. 

After a moment he left the doorway and proceeded further into the apartment, leaving the door open. Juvia hesitantly followed after him, a small part of her feeling a flush of excitement as she realized this would be the first time she was in Gray’s apartment - where he slept at night. She only wished it had been under better circumstances. 

Her eyes roamed the expanse of his one-bedroom apartment, catching sight of the bottle of whiskey he had taken from the bar, opened and sitting on the coffee table within reach. Gray was going to get drunk regardless of how the night ended up, she realized. 

Juvia watched precariously as he slumped down on his well-worn couch, pouring himself another glass, ice clinking against each other. A single dull lamp on the end table sent a soft light about the room. She could barely see, but from what she could tell, the apartment wasn’t well kept. Clothes were scattered across the floor, and dishes had been left in various places. At least he was eating. She would take that little victory. 

“Are you hungry?” she offered, her eyes wistfully glancing at his darkened kitchen. “I could make you something to eat.” 

“Nah. I’m good.” 

She folded her arms behind her and leaned against the wall. Her eyes found him again, watching the lamp light’s glow shift across his body as he lifted his arm and brought his glass to his lips. The apartment air had a chill to it, but she didn’t bother commenting on it. Gray never got cold, so trying to comfort him with warmth was silly. 

“Do you need something?” he finally asked, his gaze never straying from the bottle. 

Juvia blinked at him owlishly. Did she need something? Yes. She needed him to blush furiously as she made him Juvia Buns, and fluster as she flirted with him. She needed him to laugh at the guildhall and say dead-panned comments that always made her smile. She needed him to gossip like an old woman and pick out a job to test all he learned from the Grand Magic Games. 

She needed him to be okay . 

“No,” she instead replied softly. “Not particularly.” 

“Then why don’t you leave?”

His words were like a slap to the face, again with that acrimonious tone he had greeted her with. Her eyes burned with tears as she dug her nails into the soft flesh of her palms. “Gray, my love-”

“Can’t you see I want to drink alone?” he interrupted her. “I’d rather not have company right now.” 

Brutally honest, something he had never been with her. It was hard to hear it now, in a place she always wanted to be, yet listening to him tell her something she never wanted to hear. Still, she stood her ground. 

She turned toward him, furrowing her brows. “Please, Gray, tell Juvia what to do to help you. Juvia knows you're hurting, that you're struggling.” 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he bit back bitterly, causing her to recoil. The look he gave her made her blood run cold, as if he looked down on her, as if mocking her for daring to believe she could ever understand. “I know you want to help me, but you have no idea what I’m going through.”

He was right, of course. She didn’t. She had never lost three of her most treasured friends - family - all in one fell swoop right in front of her. She couldn’t fathom the grief and the guilt eating him up inside. But that didn’t give him the right to be cruel. “We’re at least friends, right?” she asked, her voice shaking and small, as if it pained her to speak. “Friends are supposed to be there for one another.” 

This much she knew to be true. She may not understand how to traverse the waters of friendship or relationships, but she had seen Fairy Tail embody the spirit of comradeship more times than she could count. They carried each other through the tough times, and celebrated with each other during the high times. They never turned each other away and always had a listening ear. They had taught her the true meaning of a familial bond. 

Gray exhaled deeply, as if exhausted by her presence. “Listen, I’m in no state to emotionally support anyone right now.”

That wasn’t what she meant. It wasn’t she who needed the support right now. 

“That’s not what Juvia meant. Juvia is here for you. Maybe if you just-”

“I’m not your mess to clean up!” he suddenly barked at her, that heated rage flitting to the surface once more as his gaze met hers, hot with righteous vexation. “So stop talking to me like I’m some plan gone wrong!”

His words left her speechless, frozen to where she stood, as her ears rang with his sharp tone. His eyes were unforgiving, boring into her own, until she finally pulled her gaze away. This was not the Gray Fullbuster she had come to care for. This was not the man who saved her from the rain. 

“Okay,” she finally whispered, the meager fight she had leaving her. She should have listened to Cana, a woman who had known Gray for far longer than she. He-He didn’t mean all of those harsh words. He didn’t mean to make tears well in her eyes. He didn’t mean to lash out. 

Right?

Even if he had opened his door to her, he wasn’t ready to open his heart. 

“Juvia will go,” she said, turning to leave. “But she will not give up on you, Gray Fullbuster.” 

As quiet as a breath, she exited his apartment and didn’t look back, leaving him to wallow in his own grief. 

There were many things that Levy adored about reading novels, and at the top of that list was the ability to escape to another world. Lost in the pages of her books, she could momentarily forget the reality crashing down around her, the anguish of grief and the struggle of moving forward. From the tall tales of knights fighting dragons through magical forests, to the more monotonous tomes of Fiore’s ancient history, anything would do as long as it didn’t allow her to dwell on the present. 

Since Gray’s outburst earlier that evening, Levy struggled keeping focused. Part of her wanted to shut herself back down in the library and continue pouring over volumes that may have some connection with Tartaros, but she found her lack of attention would only hinder her investigation. Although she hadn’t been at the guild at the time, Cana had filled her in on Gray and Gajeel’s confrontation. It made Levy wince just thinking about the ice-make mage’s sudden ebullition. Since childhood, Levy had never seen Gray lash out so viciously, and the picture Cana painted made Levy question if the man who perpetrated that behavior was really Gray at all. 

She sighed as she tore her eyes away from her book to the rest of the guildhall. The distinct bitter, herby smell of freshly brewed beer paired with the underlying sweet aroma of baked bread filled the air and remained the only remnant of what the Fairy Tail Guild had always been. It was the smell of home, something Levy cherished now more than ever. The sounds had changed - no boisterous brawls or corny jokes - and the air had transfigured into something unfamiliar - absent of magic and familiar kinship. There was now a Before and an After; a clearly defined moment between what Fairy Tail had been and what it would never be again. 

The people remained - Cana throwing back barrels at the bar, Mirajane pouring drinks, Macao and Wakaba sharing war stories and commenting on the kids these days - but they were only shells of who they had once been. Eyes listless, a flood of emotions staved off by sheer will, voices hollow as they spoke. It just felt so incredibly wrong, and if the plaque sitting above the front door didn’t explicitly state it, Levy would question if this was the Fairy Tail Guild at all. 

“Where’s Natsu?” Sweet, little Asuka’s voice rang out clearly over the hall, tearing Levy from her thoughts, and silencing any quiet conversation. 

Everyone paused, and Levy held her breath, an air of fragile stillness filling the guild. Asuka’s voice had been deafening, the name of the dragon slayer causing an ache to bloom to life in their chests, sharply reminding them of all that had been lost. Mirajane stopped wiping the bar top, her blue eyes sliding to where Asuka sat on her mother’s lap. 

Bisca’s lips pulled into a shaky smile, her eyes watery, as she pulled her daughter into a tight embrace. “Honey, we’ve been over this,” she murmured, but it was loud enough for Levy to hear. “Natsu had-had to go away for a long time. He’s not coming back.” 

Asuka innocently peered around the rest of the guild, her gaze focusing on the few members who sat with baited breath. “Is that why everyone’s been so sad?” she asked, her large doe eyes peering up at her mother. 

Levy could tell the markswoman mage struggled with keeping her voice steady as she spoke, “Yeah. We’re all sad that Natsu, Erza, and Happy had to leave. But, we know they’re just on another adventure, right?”

“Right!” Asuka exclaimed with a smile, pumping her fists into the air as if exhilarated by the prospect of hearing tales of adventure when they returned. 

The words had been so, so far from the truth, sugar coated for children’s ears, to soften the blow and fend off the grief, at least for a little while. Asuka would live in ignorance for now, still wearing the rose-colored glasses of childhood and protected from the harsh reality the outside world dealt without care. Someday, Levy knew Bisca and Alzack would tell her the truth - would explain to her in as few details as possible that the dragon slayer, the knight, and the silly blue cat had died vicious deaths while doing something they loved dearly. 

At present, though, Asuka’s memories of them would remain untarnished - unperturbed by nightmares and despondency. She would laugh and smile and play as if monsters only hid under her bed at night and didn’t walk amongst the city streets and skyline. That hopefulness, that bright future shining in her eyes, would be protected at all costs. 

A flash of golden light suddenly tore Levy’s gaze from the Connell family to see Loke had appeared beside her. Bags had formed under his eyes, belying the smile tugging at his lips that was much too unsteady to pacify her worry. 

She frowned. “Loke-”

“It’s Lucy,” he murmured, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. In that moment, he looked way too frail to be the Leader of the Zodiac. Exhaustion shined in his eyes and his shoulders sagged as if he had carried a heavy burden for far too long. 

Levy stood quickly, all thoughts of little Asuka and the pages of her fairy tale forgotten. “Is Lucy okay?”

“She needs you.” 

The solid-script mage didn’t give it a second thought. She practically sprinted out of the guildhall, her thoughts turning to a pretty blonde with her head in the stars who deserved the world. 

For the past week, Lucy’s bedroom window had been her only connection to the outside world, the rainbow of colors between sunrise and sunset creeping into her room between drawn curtains. The bustle of Magnolia drifted up to her, rising and falling like the tide, as day turned to night, turned to day, and back again. She slept fitfully, her dreams plagued with her final moments with Natsu, of the never-ending flow of blood that escaped him as he died, as she held his head on her lap even as his dark eyes lost its fire and his life slipped away from him. 

She dreamed of Erza, her smiles and adoration for strawberry cake, her large cart of luggage she traveled with, and her fierce gaze whenever someone became too rowdy. Then those dreams twisted into nightmares, of Erza’s armor cracking, of blood staining her skin, and of eyes that could no longer see. 

The nightmares woke Lucy violently in a cold sweat, her heart pounding and breath coming in sharp gasps. It took a few minutes for her to reorientate herself, but with that came the realization that her nightmares were irrevocably true. Even as she calmed her breathing as the clock on her nightstand ticked the seconds by, she knew her bad dreams were only a product of reality. 

Sometimes, it was worse. On occasion she would dream of her death. Those dreams were violent and cruel, and each time, Natsu was the one who killed her with a wicked grin and dragon-like claws. When nightmares and phantoms chased her from sleep, she found herself sprinting to the bathroom just in time to hurl her pitiful stomach contents into the toilet. It left her shaking, her throat raw, and tears wetting her cheeks. 

After a particularly harrowing one in which Happy made an appearance - wings dripping with blood - a knock on the door had Lucy lifting her head from the cool porcelain of the toilet, eyes drifting to the hallway. “Lucy?”

Levy sure was persistent. It had only been a day since she had last tried to visit, and Lucy still didn’t feel up to much company. She sighed, flushed the toilet, and swished some water in her mouth to clean out the taste of bile. Burrowing back under her covers to hide away from the world sounded like a much better idea than facing what broke her head-on. 

So she did. Lucy retreated beneath her comforter, shivering from the unwelcomed coolness ghosting across her skin. She wrapped herself beneath the covers, only a head of golden tresses peeking out on the pillow, as she tried in vain to push away the tears burning in her eyes. Hopelessness weighed on her heavily, like swimming through thick, murky waters, vision swallowed in darkness and no sense of direction. 

When the stars faded from the sky and the sun exploded, and the planets stopped moving and the oceans totaled them… would Lucy still be there? Hiding under her covers, wondering what her life would be like if Natsu hadn’t left her? 

“Lu?” 

She twisted her blanket into a fist, attempting to will Levy away. The solid-script mage was undeniably caring, and would never allow a friend to suffer if she could help it. She had the strange habit of being able to pick up on others moods and discern if something troubled them. Or in Lucy's case, if they weren't coping well. 

After a few moments of silence, Lucy believed Levy had taken the hint and decided to let her submerge herself in melancholy. But then she heard the murmur of a voice, felt a quick swish of magic in the air, and then the sound of her door unlocking resonated through her apartment. 

Lucy peered over the top of her bed covers, eyes trained on her bedroom door curiously, before a tiny woman with bright blue hair slowly stepped over the threshold. Levy’s eyes searched the dark apartment curiously before finally landing on Lucy enveloped in her bed. 

“Hey, Lucy,” the solid-script mage started, warily taking a few steps toward her. “I heard you’re not doing so well.” 

The blonde scoffed, Levy’s words an understated candor. “Did you just use magic to break into my house?” she replied instead, voice hoarse with neglect. 

A smile tugged at her lips as she padded more confidently over to Lucy’s bed and sat on the edge, fingers working to uncurl the blanket from around Lucy’s shoulders. “Should I have used the fireplace?” she teased. 

Lucy noted how Levy didn’t mention her window, the entrance Natsu and Happy often used, and instead kept her attention on Gray’s particular method of barging in. Those careful little details made Lucy’s heart warm at her dear friend’s attentiveness. 

The blonde frowned. “I’d prefer to be left alone.” 

A long sigh passed Levy’s lips. “Please, talk to me,” she urged quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind Lucy’s ear, desperation clearly evident in her voice. 

Lucy pondered, a bit torn by Levy’s request. She didn’t want to talk to anyone - not about what had happened or the mindless chit chat that avoided the elephant in the room. But Levy had always been there for Lucy in her own reticent ways; a new book offered, a gentle squeeze of the hand, an encouraging smile. Her support and friendship with Lucy was something incredibly special, and the celestial wizard knew she had taken it for granted over the time they had known each other. 

Even though Lucy had been a part of Team Natsu and Levy had already been swept up with Team Shadowgear - with a reluctant Gajeel tagging along occasionally - the two women had shared a sisterhood with one another, driven by their love for published literature. Their friendship was quiet and often tangential, something indulged during the quieter moments of their lives, but no less important. 

Which was why Lucy finally muttered in a voice nearly too soft to hear, “I’m cold.” 

Levy’s eyebrows raised with surprise, probably not expecting an answer at all. “What’s that?”

Lucy swallowed thickly. “I’m so cold, but I-I can’t seem to warm up.” 

The solid-script mage’s expression fell, heart aching, as her mind worked through why Lucy couldn’t get warm. Even though the thermostat had been cranked up to something a tad bit too warm for being comfortable, another reason came to mind. 

Natsu wasn’t there. 

Not only did he spit literal fire, his raging spirit could warm anyone from the inside out. His incredible ability to strengthen the most victimized hearts had been beyond comparison. The way he left - abruptly and viciously - made those closest to him feel empty, a wintry wind howling where he once stood, in a place that now only consisted of dark vacancy. 

Levy suddenly stood, a flash of determination in her eyes as she began moving about the apartment. Lucy watched curiously as the bluenette worked to start a fire in the hearth, sending a low light through the room, and then disappeared into the kitchen. 

Lucy’s eyes strayed to where the fire sent a dancing glow throughout the room, until she became fixated on the flames themselves. An element that could grant natural comfort by its warmth, but could also be devastatingly beautiful as it burned entire forests to the ground. It could ignite the night and outshine the stars, brilliant and captivating and everything she didn’t realize she needed. Not until it was wielded by a man who matched its energy with his own spirit, as if they were one in the same.

“I’m all fired up!”

Natsu’s voice echoed in her memories, ribbons of light catching fire to his being as he fought with vigor and resolution. He had a grin that embodied the inferno within him, and set light to her life like the sun. Lucy had somehow been swept up in his gravity, allowing him to pull her close to the point of her not knowing what she would do if he was gone. But then he was, leaving her cold and grasping at empty air, as if she could somehow rekindle that radiance. 

Levy returned then with a tray consisting of a tea kettle and cups. After setting it on the table, she moved to the linen closet and pulled down Lucy’s heavy comforters she often saved for winter, sprawling the quilts in a pile on the floor in front of the fireplace. Lucy watched her work before Levy came to stand at her bedside. 

“Come on, Lu,” she prodded softly, pulling the blanket off of Lucy despite the blonde’s meager protests. “Let’s get you warmed up.” 

Lucy scowled at her friend but begrudgingly complied, letting Levy tug on her hand and lead her to where the pile of blankets awaited them. After fluffing the blankets just-so, Levy and Lucy sat down beside each other with their legs crossed. Levy chose a specifically large and feathery-down blanket to wrap around both of their shoulders, before pouring two cups of tea and handing one to Lucy. 

With a gentle prodding notion from Levy, Lucy took a small sip of the tea. It had a touch of spiciness to it, coupled with gentle notes of apple with a mellow, honey-like sweetness. The tea warmed Lucy from the inside out, and allowed her thoughts to settle for the first time in a while. 

“Better?” Levy asked with a small smile, tilting her head as she gazed at the blonde with anticipation. “It’s ginger and chamomile tea - to calm the stomach and the nerves.”  

The celestial wizard didn’t answer, her gaze transfixed on the flames as they curled and swayed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had started a fire in her hearth. Whenever it had been a cool night in Magnolia, Natsu had always been close by, offering his own fire or his body heat to keep away the chill. He had always been there without question, even if he wasn’t invited. 

Natsu was there to break into her apartment with no regard to her privacy. He was there to listen to her complain as they trudged through the snows of Mount Hakobe. He was there to rescue her from Phantom Lord as she helplessly fell from the sky like a shooting star. And he was there in the small moments, telling her it would all be okay during the dragon strike on Tenrou Island, walking wordlessly beside her after she found out her dad had died while they were in stasis, and giving her courage as she was bested during the Grand Magic Games. 

The fire dragon slayer was always there. 

“It was a second.” 

“What?” Levy raised her brows in surprise as Lucy spoke, turning her gaze to look at the celestial wizard, whose expression remained far too distant. Lucy wasn’t in her apartment anymore, instead being swallowed up by the memories that tormented her every waking thought. 

Lucy swallowed thickly. “Maybe less than a second,” she murmured. “But it changed everything.” 

Levy watched her carefully as Lucy pulled her gaze from the flames to the steam curling away from her tea. The blonde tugged the blanket around her shoulder tighter, fingers curling into the soft material. She didn’t want to talk about it, to replay the night that stole so much from them. But Levy was persistent, and Aquarius had pressed Lucy to speak about it with someone. 

She took a deep breath, and then, “Natsu sensed the explosion before it happened,” she murmured. “I just remember him shouting and then throwing me to the ground. Then there was a surge of heat and a gust of wind that brought debris. Over and over again. By the time we were able to lift our heads and figure out what was happening, half the town was already gone.” 

Lucy felt her throat tighten, her chest beginning to burn as she repressed the sobs that wanted to force their way out. Tears obscured the reflection of the dancing flames off her cup, the warmth of her tea and the fire keeping her grounded. She could distinctly recall during the battle how her body jarred with every blow, how the pain seared through her skin, and took away every feeling of safety she ever had. Wind had sucked the air from her lungs, the scream from her lips, as each strike against her brought her closer to blacking out - or to death, she hadn’t been sure. 

There had been so much shouting, voices rising in pitch with each parried burst of magic. Natsu’s dragon lungs expelled ear-piercing roars of indignation. Erza’s swords clashed against her enemy, discharging sparks through the air. Gray’s ice creations cooled the atmosphere while simultaneously reflecting the light of the moon before it was swallowed up by tendrils of smoke. 

And Happy - courageous, smart-mouthed, blue-bird of happiness - had stayed by Natsu’s side, helping him to dip and dodge through the various attacks before he was ultimately shot from the sky. 

Lucy couldn’t remember the final blow that caused her to lose consciousness. Everything had happened so fast, and all she could recall was the incredible drain on her energy. She wasn’t even sure if the demons had been the one to strike her down or if it had simply been the depletion of her celestial magic. 

Levy stayed quiet after Lucy’s admission. Lucy wasn’t sure if it was because she was waiting for more, or if it was because she was surprised Lucy had divulged anything at all. Either way, Lucy silently thanked the solid-script mage, because she wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle any questioning that encompassed that night. 

Lucy shook her head, trying to shake the feeling of dread that had creeped over her as she recalled the battle, followed up with her holding a dying Natsu. His skin which had always been so warm to the touch had turned frigid, blood staining the scarf he loved so much that now sat hidden in a box on her desk. The dragon slayer had smiled despite his wounds, despite his impending death, telling her he was sorry . With his last breaths he apologized for making her cry. It was such a silly thing to be saying at such a time, because it had been the last thing on Lucy’s mind. Although it felt like minutes passed as she watched him die, she was sure it was seconds. But she began to think, how long had he been dying before she regained consciousness? How long had he laid there mortally wounded, staring up into the blood-streaked sky as he slowly bled to death? If she had regained consciousness even just a minute sooner, could she have saved him? 

“We’ll bring them home, Lucy.” 

Words spoken that had eased her fears and denial for a moment, long enough for her to succumb to the darkness of her subconscious, trusting that Loke would do as he said. Wryly, she realized he never actually promised to save them. They were already dead, beyond the realms of even Wendy’s magic. So he did the only thing he could at the time: promise his wizard that they would be brought home. He never promised they would be breathing. Perhaps a part of her resented him for that, for toying with her emotions that day. But she knew that he didn’t have much else of a choice. 

Loke was the Leader of the Zodiac, a battle spirit, meant to make swift decisions in the heat of a fight. He wasn’t one to coddle like Capricorn, who gently instructed her on expanding her magic abilities, or comfort like Aries, who hated to hurt even a fly. Yet, Lucy supposed perhaps that’s why she loved Loke so dearly. He did what had to be done. Even if that meant lying to his key holder to make sure she survived, or pulling her away from where Natsu had died.

Finally, with a shake of her head, Lucy followed up with, “He found us.” 

Levy furrowed her brows. “Who?”

“Loke.” There was a lump in Lucy’s throat and a fire in her lungs. Navigating through the memories was one thing - or rather, keeping her distance from them. Speaking about that night aloud to anyone had panic seizing her stomach. If it weren’t for the ginger in the tea, she was sure she’d have her face pressed against cool porcelain again. She swallowed thickly. “Natsu was gone, and I…” Her breath caught as a tear fell down her cheek. “I was sitting in a pool of his blood, hugging his body as if he was still in there somewhere. That’s how Loke found us.” 

Levy’s eyes were shimmering, her bottom lip trembling as if to stave off shedding tears herself. “Lu…” she croaked, voice thick with emotion. 

Lucy held up her hand and gazed at her palm, remembering how her partner had died. “Natsu’s mouth was filled with blood, but he still smiled through it.” 

“Dear Mavis,” Levy murmured, a hand covering her mouth reflexively, wide eyes gazing at the celestial blonde. She knew Lucy had witnessed something horrific, but to hear it spelled out gave her grief an entirely tangible existence. 

“I’m tired,” Lucy lamented, shoulders sagging. “I’m so tired. I thought I just needed a few night’s sleep, but it's so much more than that.” She paused as another tear slipped from her eye. “I dream about him - all of them - of that day. I wake up screaming in the night, shaking and sick to my stomach, so now I’m afraid. I’m scared to fall asleep knowing their ghosts are there.” 

Natsu had become a specter and he was everywhere, rippling in her chest, swinging from rib to rib and cackling with depraved joy. His loud absence became the white noise in her ears, weighing on her thoughts, making them so heavy she couldn’t lift her head. She felt as if every last ounce of courage she carried had gone up in smoke the night Natsu died. Disappeared. Vanished into thin air and she was left looking at the corpse of the person she once was. She felt lost, like she was wading through a hellish sort of hangover. 

How could she convey all of that to Levy to help her understand? Or to Loke and Virgo, who continued to pester her to get up every day? Grief had swept her so far away from what she knew as normal, how could she ever find her way back?

Levy suddenly leaned against Lucy’s shoulder and held her hand, entwining their fingers. “Listen to me, Lucy,” she said, her words holding power that wouldn’t yield under frivolous excuses. “We’re going to get through this together, okay? There are so many people who care for you, who worry about you. I know it’s going to take a lot of time. Something like this…” She tightened her hand around Lucy’s. “It doesn’t just simply go away. But…” Another pause, as if to solidify her own belief. “We’re going to be okay.” 

Tears were falling a little more quickly now down Lucy’s cheeks as she sniffled. “How can you be so sure?” she whispered brokenly. “How can you be so sure we’ll survive this?”

Levy hummed and took a sip from her tea, mulling over the question posed to her. “You need to take a bath.”

Lucy balked, leaning away to glare at Levy with accusing eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The bluenette chuckled. “Just trust me on this one, okay?”

Although always adoring bath time, the prospect of running a bath and cleansing herself of the day seemed like it would take so much energy to accomplish, more than Lucy possessed. But it appeared as if Levy had already realized that, standing from their pile of blankets and disappearing into the bathroom. Only a moment later did Lucy hear the bathtub faucet turn on. 

Begrudgingly, when Levy returned with a smile and patient expression, Lucy obeyed. She slipped into the bathroom where a warm tub awaited her. Slowly she undressed and stepped into the bath. Soaking in the heated water, feeling it hug every inch of her skin so gently, breathing in the aroma of the lavender bubbles - it felt heavenly, allowing some semblance of Lucy’s inner peace to return. 

It was why she had always loved her private bath times. Relaxing into the water allowed her moments to reconnect with her emotions, to ask herself how she felt deep within, and remove the mask she wore during the day. The water wrapped around her like a cocoon, the butterfly of her soul newly energized, and allowed for quiet contentment that required self-love and self-respect. 

Lucy felt drained after sharing with Levy some of the details of that day. Even that little conversation had completely wiped her out, but she still felt a pressure in her chest, her stomach coiling with tension. She rested an arm over her eyes, clenching her jaw as the burn of tears surfaced. 

Suddenly, she felt a slight pull on her magic and could sense Aquarius had appeared in the tub. Twice in one week - a new record for the mermaid spirit who stated she despised bath time. Lucy frowned. “What are you doing here?” she asked solemnly, not bothering to lift her arm to peer at her. 

“Hey, brat,” Aquarius greeted, the annoyance clear in her tone. “You need to pull yourself together. My key isn’t meant to just sit around and get dusty.” 

Lucy sighed. “Not right now.” 

Aquarius shifted in the water and a moment passed before she followed up with, “Look, Lucy. People say you should never look back because you’re not going that way. What they never explain is just how hard that’s going to be. Nor do they mention how easy it is to get lost along the way. At times, it’ll feel like you’re no longer moving forward. Sometimes it may even seem impossible to move on, but you will. Somehow you always do.” 

Images spun through Lucy’s mind, of her mother who died too young, of Michelle who had been such a dear friend, and of her father who she never even got to say goodbye to. Aquarius had always been constantly - albeit reluctantly - at her side. She had seen Lucy through her grief before. 

“I-I don’t know,” Lucy replied, her lips trembling. “I-I can’t.” 

A hand gently pulled Lucy’s arm from her face and she was suddenly looking up at Aquarius, the mermaid’s expression twisted into concern. “Have a good cry,” she murmured. “If stormy weather unleashes raindrops, a stormy soul deserves to let loose a few teardrops.” 

With those words, Lucy could no longer keep the tears at bay. She threw herself at Aquarius, wrapped her arms around her waist and broke down crying. Her shrill cries of heartache echoed off the bathroom walls as Aquarius hesitantly pulled her into her arms, running her fingers through golden-spun hair.

“Just-” she paused, a tender smile tugging at her lips. “Don’t get any of your snot on me.” 

It wasn’t until the bath water had cooled to a luke-warm temperature did Lucy finally remove herself from Aquarius’ embrace. She sniffled, being berated by the mermaid for getting snot on her, but there was no heat behind her words. After Aquarius had disappeared back to the celestial realm, Lucy finished up her bath with a quick wash of her hair and drained the tub. 

She dressed into her pajamas slowly. For the first time in a while she felt a sort of emptiness in her soul that was comforting, as if crying all of her tears had cleansed her. Although drained of liveliness, her shoulders felt a little lighter than they had in over a week. 

Lucy exited the bathroom and found the room covered in darkness, the fire having been extinguished. Levy had tucked herself into Lucy’s bed nearest to the window. She wore a pair of Lucy’s pajamas, a little too large for her small frame. 

“What’re you doing?” Lucy asked as she stepped closer to the bed. 

Levy smiled, lifting the covers and patting the space beside her. “We haven’t had a sleepover in ages.” 

The thought brought a smile to Lucy’s lips. She obliged and slipped under the covers beside Levy, resting her head on the pillow and breathing in the scent of rosemary and pine of her laundry detergent. 

Once settled, the solid-script mage took her hand and held it firmly. “Now, close your eyes,” she instructed. 

Lucy stopped questioning her friend’s motives and simply did as she was told. 

“Notice the silence.” 

Nothing but their steady breathing permeated the air. The city had gone to sleep, leaving her room free of the muffled conversations and noises from the outside world. Even her apartment neighbors had stilled, as if understanding the circumstances happening within her four walls. 

Levy pressed a hand against Lucy’s chest. “Notice your heart,” she murmured, and Lucy did, feeling its steady beat that resonated in her ears. “ Still beating. Still fighting. ” 

Lucy slowly opened her eyes and looked at Levy, who she could barely see save for the soft glow of twilight peeking through the bottom of her curtains.  

The bluenette smiled gently, her gaze soft. “You made it,” she reminded, her hand tightening around her own. “You made it another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.” 

Her words were gently whispered, but held so much more than thoughtless notions. Lucy felt her struggles were seen . That her vociferous emotions mattered. Somewhere beyond this sea of darkness was the shore, and Levy would help her get there - Fairy Tail would help her get there. 

The celestial mage had been broken, so irreparably that the pieces would never fit the same way again. They all had been. Walking the path before them now felt rocky and unexplored, as if one wrong step would have them careening over a cliffside. Yet, the moments with those who she held dear - Loke on the rooftop under the stars, Levy curled beside her with whispered reassurances - somehow made the trail seem a little less daunting. 

Even without Natsu, Erza, and Happy to pull them forward with words of inspiration and encouragement, their spirits still lived within the heart of their guild. They were gone, but their memories would carry on in all of those who held them dear. And that’s what would push them through this. 

Lucy smiled then and rested her forehead against Levy’s, unable to exactly convey her gratitude. “Thanks, Levy,” hardly seemed enough, but it would have to do for now. 

Chapter Text

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commission by @clearwillow

The terrors of the night always seemed like a distant dream in the wash of new light as sun crested over the horizon and brought daybreak to Magnolia. Pink and yellow hues of sunrise blended across the sky, making the world feel a little less suffocating than the twilight before. Levy sighed pensively as she nursed her thermos of coffee she had filled at Lucy's place before escaping into the day, leaving the blonde sound asleep in her bed. Although the sweltering heat of summer often stifled the afternoon, the early morning still remained a pleasant temperature, enough so for Levy to take her time walking back to Fairy Hills.

After she had coaxed Lucy to sleep the night before, she had remained painstakingly awake, her thoughts turning over what Lucy had shared with her. Levy had known her friend was hurting and had witnessed something incredibly traumatizing, but to hear small snippets of what she saw first hand had Levy's mind spinning, images of what the battle must have been like swirling through her head. It wasn't exactly an enjoyable barrage of thoughts to try and fall asleep to.

She took another swig of her coffee, silently reminding herself to thank Lucy later for keeping grounds on hand, along with cream and sweetner. Levy had never been a coffee drinker until Jet insisted it was the best thing since sugar.

He was right.

As she passed by the park in the middle of town, she heard unintelligible bickering voices that sounded familiar. She stepped into the grass, keeping her eyes peeled and, sure enough, lazing beneath a large oak tree near the back left side was the better half of Team Shadowgear.

"Good morning!" she greeted them with a wave, causing them to pause in whichever dispute had them riled up so early in the morning.

Jet's eyes moved from where he had been glaring at his companion to where Levy stood. His expression brightened and his lips curled up into a smile when he met her gaze. "Mornin', Levy," he greeted, sitting up from where he had been loafing in the grass.

Droy offered her a wave as he continued chewing his mouthful of what looked to be a breakfast pastry.

"What're you doin' out here?" Jet asked as she walked closer.

Levy shrugged. "Just on my way to Fairy Hills. You?"

"Trying and failing to keep this one on a diet," he grumbled, hooking his thumb toward his friend.

The plant mage glared at him. "I'm just big-boned!"

Levy giggled before plopping down between them, leaning her back against the tree. "Are those pastries from the little corner bakery we love?"

"Of course!" Droy said, breaking a cherry strudel in half and handing the smaller piece to her.

Jet scrunched up his nose as she took a bite, a bit of cherry filling dripping onto her chin. "Still can't stand cherries," he murmured, handing her a napkin from the empty bag of baked goods. His dark eyes studied her as she wiped her mouth. "Are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I spent the night at Lucy's."

The high-speed mage sat up straighter, leaning against the tree beside her, arms resting on bended knees. "Yeah? How is she?"

Levy finished chewing the bite of strudel in her mouth, staring at her thermos. "What do you think? She's devastated."

"She'll be okay," Droy assured, his voice more animated than it had been in days. "Lucy will be all sparkles and sunshine again soon enough!"

Although his words did little to soothe the doubt Levy had that Lucy would indeed be back to her old self, she appreciated the sentiment anyways. "I'm not sure about that, but thanks."

They were quiet for a few minutes, the soft munching of pastries filling the air between them, and then Jet asked, "Did she say anything? You know, about that day?"

"A little." Levy sipped her coffee thoughtfully. "I thought I could imagine what she and Gray had gone through. I knew I couldn't, but I pretended to understand, at least a little. I imagined what would happen if..." She paused, her eyes suddenly focusing on the blades of grass that blew softly in the warm breeze. "I tried to picture all of you gone, so I thought maybe I could sympathize more with what Lucy had witnessed. But I was wrong."

Jet shook his head. "Imagining something like that and seeing it first hand are two very different things."

"Yeah," she agreed. "You're right. Even with my big imagination, I still can't even fathom. That's why I'm better off reading - to just disappear for a little while, you know?"

Droy and Jet exchanged a glance. "I don't know if that's healthy," Droy finally said.

A sad smile tugged at her lips as her fingers fidgeted with blades of grass. "Stories can take you to a whole other world. You can be a princess or a knight or a dragon," Levy explained, her eyes alight with the thought of adventures. "There's no limits, and there can always be a happily ever after."

"Getting swept up in fairy tales isn't really a coping mechanism," Jet pointed out, running a hand through his hair.

They were probably right. Avoidance wasn't the best way to deal with such monumental grief. Levy shrugged. "I guess I just don't want to care about anything for a bit. Because facing what happened means I have to care about things, and that just gives me more to worry about - like how Lucy is holding up and what we're going to do about Zeref's demons. It's less painful if I don't care."

Droy sighed. "That's not true."

"Well, that's just how it's been for me. Losing Natsu, Erza, and Happy was like I lost a part of my heart. We grew up with them, and haven't known Fairy Tail without them." She exhaled deeply, dipping her head. "But when I think of Lucy, of everything she's going through, of how much she loved them..." Tears filled her eyes as she took a shaky breath. "I feel as if my grief can't compare."

"Levy-"

"She lost her team," she continued, wiping away a tear that slipped down her cheek. "I can't imagine what I would do if I lost either of you."

Levy looked up to be met with Droy's gaze, sadness lingering in his dark eyes. "But, we did lose you," he reminded softly. "We lost you for seven years, and never thought we would see you again."

Blood drained from Levy's face, her jaw falling slack as her lips opened in silent surprise. How callous could she be? Here she was, expressing her frustration with grief and how to process losing an entire team of wizards - expressing it to the very people who had. For seven years, while Levy and the Tenrou Team sat in stasis, the rest of the guild mourned. It had to have been incredibly difficult, especially since there was no resolution. No one knew exactly what had become of them, so how were they to properly grieve?

"I-I'm sorry," she choked out, chastising herself for her insensitivity.

"It's okay," Jet consoled as he pulled her head to his chest, running fingers absently through her hair. "We're just happy you're back. But some of us can distinctly understand what Gray and Lucy are going through. And it's not something that can be fixed easily."

"I know."

"That being said," Jet continued. "Everyone's pain is different. I don't like when people compare. I don't like when people make their feelings smaller because they think they're not allowed to have them. Someone will always have a tougher go than you. Does that mean you're not allowed to feel hurt? To be sad? Droy and I..." He paused, chewing over his words. "Losing you was suffocating. It hurt to breathe. The world moved on, but you were still gone. Team Shadowgear was done."

They had only returned from stasis a few months ago, hardly long enough to mend the wounds created by their seven year absence. Yet, since her return, Jet and Droy hadn't truthfully confided in her about their misery during her disappearance. They instead caught her up on the random adventures they had and what they had been up to during her time away - focusing on the happier memories and the future ahead of them. She hadn't been sure how to approach the bleak subject, so she never had.

Levy turned her face into Jet's chest, breathing in the scent of coffee that clung to him - lightly caramelized and almost nutty. Even after all their years apart, that hadn't changed, and gave Levy a sense of normality and predictability, anchoring her.

"We love you," Droy remarked quietly, resting his hand on her back. "And we're all allowed to grieve. So please, don't trivialize your feelings."

Jet wrapped his arm around her tighter, resting his chin on her head. "It'll be okay."

Levy nodded, the soft ember of hope that burned within her flickering, a tiny flame igniting with Jet's promise.

After leaving Gajeel at the guild that morning, Pantherlily flew to Fairy Hills to check on Charle and Wendy. The pair hadn't been seen much since the funeral, which caused mounting concern. Although it was hard to remember because of her tenacity and brave spirit, Wendy was still just a child, and according to Charle, she had been through more in her young life than most adults had. Pantherlily had been a part of the guild for just a short time before they were trapped in stasis and then competed in the Grand Magic Games. He barely had the opportunity to understand who his guildmates were or what it meant to be part of such a thing.

But he knew how to care for others - Cocoa's brilliant smile coming to mind as she fought to save his homeland despite the king's orders, and the blue-haired prince who had once entrusted the kingdom to the exceed should his death come to pass. Pantherlily refused to let a friend down or leave them alone to battle their grief.

He glided around to the half-open window that led to Wendy and Charle's room, slowly peering inside to see if they were home. Sunlight streamed through the parted curtains, resting upon a lump burrowed beneath the bed covers, and Charle curled up at the foot of it. He tapped on the window pane gently, hoping to grab the exceed's attention without disturbing Wendy.

Charle lifted her head, chestnut eyes blinking up at him. When she recognized who he was, she peeked over at Wendy to make sure she was still asleep, before her wings manifested and she floated up to the window. The drapes billowed with the breeze as Charle left their room, following Pantherlily up to the rooftop for privacy.

They didn't say anything as they sat on the roof's edge, eyes steady on the horizon as the sun rose over the Fairy Tail guild. Golden threads of morning light weaved throughout Magnolia, rooftops alighting while sending shadows dancing along the cobblestone paths. The grass below rustled with the zephyr, the soothing and balsamic scent of the wildflowers drifting up to them.

On a day like today, Happy would be absent from the guildhall, accompanying Natsu to their favorite lake spot to fish. They would spend the day there until Lucy inevitably went to find them - often stumbling upon them both sleeping with full bellies and empty fishing rods. Happy always came back with jubilant tales of how he caught the largest fish ever, Natsu always quick to argue with him that it 'wasn't that big'.

Pantherlily never imagined he would miss such a trivial thing so much.

"Happy always embellished such nonsense," Charle murmured beside him, her gaze misty and her lips upturned. Obviously he wasn't the only one caught up in memories.

He chuckled. "There never was a dull moment when he was around."

She hummed her agreement. "It's hard to believe he's gone, and not on a mission with Natsu."

In his long life, Pantherlily was no stranger to death. He had been a part of the king's guard - executions and battles were par for the course. The physical scars that wrought his body were proof of the toils he had seen, though his mind's eye held much more brutal memories. He wasn't invincible, no exceed was, and after their struggle against the dragons, it was more obvious now than ever that death was very real.

So, it should've been no surprise that they would lose a few of their guildmates. From what Pantherlily had come to learn, being a wizard wasn't a coveted grand position. It consisted of hard and often dangerous work, lives being put at risk daily. But regardless of the fact that Pantherlily knew all of this, the loss of Happy, Natsu, and Erza still made him feel as if he had been punched in the gut.

He had lost soldiers before. He understood the casualties of war and what laying down a person's life meant. That didn't mean grief came any easier.

"How is she?" Pantherlily asked them, eyes glancing down at the window below them where a dragon slayer slept.

Charle sighed. "She blames herself."

"It wasn't her fault."

"I've told her that," she said with a nod. "But she thinks maybe if she had gone with them, they would be alive right now."

Pantherlily rooted his jaw, his mind tumbling over what he could say that might make a difference. Survivor's guilt was something he knew well, and it couldn't be overcome by encouraging words. It was a personal battle. He could supply his own experiences as a way to help them all maneuver the calamity they were now faced with, but in reality, prevailing over that burden could only come from within.

He peered over at the other remaining member of the Exceed Squad, her white fur aglow with the morning sun. "And you?"

She sniffled, her paws curling around each other. "What about me?"

"How are you holding up?"

Charle swallowed thickly, averting her gaze to the sunrise. "It's all my fault," she whispered, her voice catching.

Apparently, Wendy wasn't the only one taking blame. Pantherlily knitted his brow and tilted his head. "Why do you say that?"

After a long pause, she finally admitted quietly, "I-I had visions and I didn't do anything to stop it. Just like with the dragons."

He frowned. "Not long ago, you were told of your clairvoyance. How were you supposed to predict something so horrible would happen so soon after the dragons? No one expected this."

"I should have though," she argued. "I-I want to believe my abilities are a gift, but so far, they've only proven to be a curse. They were the reason we were kidnapped in Edolas, and now they've-" Her voice caught. "Maybe if I had said something, Happy would still-"

Pantherlily placed a paw on her shoulder, causing her to look at him. Tears shimmered in her eyes. "Hey, you can't blame yourself," he admonished fiercely, hoping to quell her feelings of contrition. "Happy never blamed you for that kidnapping, and he wouldn't blame you for this. He'd probably be more upset that Natsu seared his fish."

His words rang true, and despite her guilt, Charle chuckled, the image of Happy's annoyed expression flashing through their minds. "He would, wouldn't he?"

They sat quietly for a moment, the soft sounds of those living within Fairy Hills beginning their morning drifted up through open windows. Doors opened and shut, muffled footfalls making their way down the hallways. The wizards housed within the dormitory below them placed a heavier weight on their conversation.

Being a soldier was bred into Pantherlily's very marrow, a role he relished in because it allowed him the ability to achieve goals and protect his ideals. Since becoming a part of Fairy Tail, he had learned to care for those who bore its guildmark and what it symbolized as a whole - family, integrity, love, and adventure.

He had once fought for an immoral king because he had so firmly believed in the royal decree. Although still the newest member of Fairy Tail, his friendships and experiences had altered his perception. Regardless of what the laws stated, some rules were meant to be challenged. His moral compass had a new direction, one that pushed him to protect the guild he had come to hold so dear, consequences be damned.

A thought struck him then. "You have the same gift as the queen," he murmured, brows furrowed as he glanced at Charle.

She sniffled and looked at him quizzically. "What?"

"When we arrived here from Edolas, Queen Shagot explained that you shared the same gift of clairvoyance as her. Perhaps if you speak with her, you'll have a better understanding of how to control it."

Charle pondered his suggestion for a moment and then shook her head. "I wouldn't even know where to look for her."

"The other exceeds at the Games from Sabertooth - Frosche and Lector. Maybe they would know where to start."

Her eyes widened as she met his gaze. Then he saw it, hope blooming within the blackness of the night, a new goal igniting her heart, and a rope anchoring them to the chance of a better future.

They could do nothing about the tragedies of the past, but they could learn from them, and try moving forward.

Silence was worse when it was palpable - when the air was so thick, that the simple act of breathing took strength; the quiet so pure, only the ringing in her ears could be heard; so fragile, that dropping a glass could shatter everything.

The air was a tangible silence and Lucy was suffocating.

She folded her arms tighter around her bent knees, her duvet cover enshrouding her from head to toe. As the morning light crested higher into the sky, streaks of sunlight cracked through the curtains. Every time the sun rose, Lucy would wake up and forget just for a second that her guildmates had died. But once her eyes were open, the truth of it would bury her like a landslide. It brought heaviness to her chest, as if too much gravity sat on her heart.

Lucy was forced to observe through the rise and fall of crepuscular rays how her world - her good, happy, carefree life - was becoming a part of the past. It was breaking away from her, and she was forced to feel how she had become shackled and held fast by the outside; to the dark and alien world that was her new reality. It was cruel that the sun continued to rise as the world spun, to welcome in each new day devoid of Natsu's laughter or his grumpy complaints and sarcastic commentary. She wanted to hear him snort at something stupid she did, or rest his head on her lap during train rides.

Such insignificant things he did somehow now meant so much.

Everything just felt so unfinished. Lucy had been so completely blindsided by Natsu's death that she hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to him. Tearful words spoken on a smoldering ground with the scent of burning flesh in the air hardly covered her idea of a final farewell.

A soft knock pulled her from her thoughts. "Who is it?" she croaked, curling her blanket tighter around her shoulders.

Her front door opened without any response, and a moment later, Cana peeked her head in. "Heya, Lucy," she greeted with a smile and a wave.

Lucy achingly realized she hadn't seen Cana since the funeral, as Levy had been the one to make daily visits. Lucy hadn't realized how much she had missed the card mage.

The brunette glanced around. "Why is it so dark in here?"

"I've decided to embrace my vampirish ways," Lucy grumbled facetiously.

Cana grinned, threw open the curtains above her cupboard, and temporarily blinded the celestial mage, causing her to pull the blanket completely over her head. "Come on," Cana coaxed, slipping off her purse and setting down a bag and bottle of wine. "I brought food from the guild."

"I'm not hungry."

With a raised brow, she snarked back, "You're gonna say no to Mira's cooking?"

There was a moment of quiet, and then the soft rustling of her duvet as Lucy finally emerged from her cocoon. "Fine, but let me wash up first."

When Lucy returned from the bathroom, she found that Cana had curled up on the couch and had started a small fire in the hearth. Their food laid out on the coffee table, accompanied by the bottle of wine for Cana and a cup of hot tea for Lucy. The heady scent of baked bread, underlying with the smell of basil and garlic, had already consumed her apartment, and Lucy's stomach let out a whine.

"Mira's cooking never fails," Cana quipped, unscrewing the wine and taking a large gulp.

Lucy offered a lame smile as she sat down, unable to deny the way her mouth watered at the generous sandwich in front of her. Apparently Mirajane had left no ingredient untouched. Lucy took a small bite, her appetite still incredibly poor, but not wanting to let the barmaid's cooking go to waste.

"So, you wanna talk about it?" Cana asked before she took a bite of her own sandwich.

The blonde's heart palpitated against her chest, anxiety blooming to life, and nearly making Lucy run back to the safety of her bed where she could hide from the world. Cana wasn't trying to be malicious. She just wasn't one to beat around the bush, and Lucy should've been surprised it had taken her this long to seek Lucy out.

"Not really," she murmured, swallowing thickly.

Cana shrugged. "I figured as much."

They fell into silence again, and Lucy wanted to scream. She had started to hate the quietness that crowded her life - it never failed to echo Natsu's name amongst the still buzzing in her ears. Even so, a part of her wanted to linger in that sound, to reminisce about all the adventures they had, to remember Erza and Happy and Natsu carefree and in high spirits.

"You should come to the guild tomorrow," Cana suddenly mused, filling the lull, and causing Lucy to snap her head to attention. "Everyone's been asking about you."

Lucy pursed her lips, focusing her gaze back on her meagerly eaten meal. She hadn't walked through those doors since the funeral, and the large hall brimmed with painful memories. "I-I don't know if I'm up for all that."

Cana bumped her shoulder gently. "Remember what the Master said? We need to lean on each other."

She scoffed. Although not present for his announcement regarding half of Team Natsu's deaths, the funeral had been filled with comradery and 'we'll get through this together' verbiage. "Yeah, right. As if he has all the answers," she replied spitefully. "The guild is just full of empty promises and lost dreams."

Lucy hadn't meant to sound so bitter, but couldn't deny that's exactly how she felt. The card mage paused in lifting her bottle of wine to her lips, and leveled Lucy with a befuddled look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Picking up the tea as if to figure out a way to ground herself, Lucy exhaled deeply. "I just..." She paused, formulating her words to carefully express her feelings without sounding disentranced. "I just wish I knew what to do with my life now. When I left my father's place all those years ago, I had two goals: to become a celestial wizard and to be a part of Fairy Tail. And then when I achieved those, I had dreams of going on grand adventures. But now..." She swallowed against the lump that formed in her throat and blinked away the tears that accumulated on her lashes. "Now I do nothing all day, boredom settles in. I glance out my window only to feel smaller than I already do, and my mind keeps poisoning itself uselessly."

"You'll figure it out," Cana promised quietly. "We all will. After everything that happened, everyone is feeling a little lost."

Lucy sipped on her tea, her eyes dancing from the firelight. "Have you ever had someone in your life who filled a void inside you, and when they're gone you can feel that space painfully vacant?"

Cana set down her bottle of wine, almost annoyed. "You know I have."

Lucy flinched, suddenly reminded of Cana losing her mother at a young age, just like Lucy. It was something they had in common, and had bonded over in the past, especially with Cana's lineage to Gildarts. "I'm sorry," Lucy murmured, chastising herself for not thinking before she spoke. The grief had consumed her life so completely, she found herself forgetting she wasn't the only one hurting.

"Look, Lucy," Cana started with a deep sigh. "I've always admired you. How strong you are. How you cope. How the entire world seemed against you, but you kept pushing forward and never gave up."

A tear slipped down Lucy's cheek at Cana's confession. She had no idea the card mage held her in such high regard. "Cana..."

"You are not to blame for your wounds," she continued, her eyes on the firelight that glinted off her wine bottle. "For the lingering silence, or for the struggle in your lungs when every breath feels like a hard won victory. You aren't to blame for the burn in your throat, or the walls you've built around your heart. And you aren't at fault for any residual trauma that has and will manifest in your life." She turned steady eyes on Lucy, grabbing her hand with her own as if to solidify her attention. "Do you understand me? You are not at fault, Lucy. For any of it. So forgive yourself. Be brave, and open, and vulnerable. And eventually, you will get there. You will find healing."

Tears fell more readily down Lucy's cheeks, the fortitude of Cana's words awakening something inside Lucy she had forgotten she had: resilience. Two women who had both lost their mothers so young understood the tenacity it took to keep moving forward - to search out their own paths, to find it and hold onto it with both hands, refusing to let anything deter them despite all of their doubts and fears.

Lucy was reminded of an evening spent consoling Cana as she confessed her lineage to an incredibly powerful S-class mage, her cowardice of revealing her bloodline to her father unless she was something she knew he would be proud of. And now, the card mage was here returning the favor. She offered her words and herself as a pillar of support, letting Lucy know that despite everything, she would be there to help her overcome whatever stood in her way.

"Thanks, Cana," she murmured, swiping at her tears. "I just remember how excited I used to feel, watching the sunrise, knowing the day would be filled with an adventure. Now there's just exhaustion, and a little dread, because each sunrise means another day without them here. Each day that goes by makes the past seem more and more like a distant dream."

"I know," Cana agreed quietly. "The guildhall is too quiet, and not just because its pretty empty these days. I actually miss the brawling. Who would've thought?"

Lucy smiled, memories turning over all the times Natsu started some scuffle in the guild, his energy and spirit matched only by Gray and Erza. "Yeah. Natsu came thundering into my life without warning, as unannounced as a hurricane and as pleasantly surprising as a summer storm."

A chuckle escaped the card mage. "That about sums it up. Natsu was like Mother Nature herself."

Lucy hummed her agreement, and then furrowed her brows, her mood suddenly somber. "I wasn't finished. I wasn't ready for this to be over. I wasn't ready to let go."

"Then don't."

Lucy gave Cana a sideways glance. "What do you mean?"

Cana shrugged. "Have you tried writing to him?"

"Writing to him?"

"Yeah, you know. How you write to your mom."

Lucy turned her gaze back to her tea. "I haven't written to my mom in a while."

She had tried several times since returning from Tenrou, but ever since the whole Phantom Lord debacle with her dad, she hadn't found a need. Speaking with her mom had been a way to cope for all those years after her death, dealing with Jude, and Lucy's subsequent disappearance from her family's estate. Needing to confide in someone regarding her father's strict rules and desires for an arranged marriage bred her innate need to write to her mother.

But after Lucy was kidnapped and her guild threatened, she had no qualms with telling her father her unadulterated thoughts and feelings. She didn't need a pen and paper to grant her the courage to say exactly what was on her mind. After that, composing letters to her mother wasn't a daily occurrence. Her friends all knew of her tumultuous backstory, and during the quiet of the night when she was on missions or having girl time, she divulged the twisted childhood she endured after her mother's death. She had people who cared for her, that she could trust and confide in.

Over a period of time, she had found healing, and no longer needed to write to her mother as she once had.

"Well," Cana continued with a small shrug. "Maybe you should. Or maybe you should try writing to Natsu."

"I..." Lucy nibbled her lower lip. "I don't know if I can."

"You're hurting," Cana said, laying a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "You're bottling up your emotions all by your lonesome, and don't try to deny it. I can see it. I know you need a friend to talk to, but unfortunately, I feel as if the only person who can make you feel better is Natsu. He may be gone, but you can still write to him - tell him everything you never got the chance to say."

Lucy mulled over Cana's suggestion. Writing to Natsu? It hadn't crossed her mind. She had no clue if she even could. Because taking that step meant so much more than just writing a letter.

It meant trying to hold onto someone who was no longer there.

It meant she would never get a reply.

It meant moving forward.

So much of which she didn't want to accept. She still hoped she was living in a nightmare, and someday she'd wake up the morning of that battle and choose a different path. Lucy knew it was absurd, and trying to breathe life into that idea was fruitless.

Cana sighed as she crumpled up the wrapper from her sandwich and tossed it into the empty to-go bag. "You're not leaving him behind or denying his death," she said, empathetic eyes settling on Lucy. "It's just a way to help your heart ache a little less."

As the card mage threw out her trash and re-wrapped Lucy's scantily eaten meal for later, Lucy glanced over her shoulder to her desk, where paper and her ink pen sat, waiting for something to be written.

Chapter Text

Commission by @u1tear

Natsu,

That was as far as she had gotten.

His name became a cloudy muddle as tears fell from Lucy's eyes, the ink smudging together and beginning to run down the page. Her pen quivered as she watched his name become disfigured by her grief.

Cana had made it sound so easy when she suggested for Lucy to write to Natsu as a way to cope. But if Lucy wrote to him like she once did with her mother, it meant taking another step, coming closer to the truth that Natsu was never coming back.

The fire that had ignited her life in brilliant splendor had been snuffed out, leaving behind only a faint burning ember to acknowledge his existence.

Finally putting her pen down, Lucy swiped at her tears, trying hopelessly to bottle up her sorrow for another day. She was so sick of crying! Of her chest aching. Of every breath feeling like shards of glass in her lungs.

Her breath grew thin and ragged as anger bloomed to life. "Dying in a blaze of glory - it's selfish," Lucy sneered bitterly, her voice thick with tears and brows furrowing as she glared at Natsu's name. "What about the people who cared for you?! Did you stop to think how we'd feel?!"

Every time they went on a mission, Natsu consistently charged in head first, not bothering to ask questions until later. He had always been recklessly confident, never considering how strong the enemy was or what kind of magic they wielded. The dragon slayer merely pushed through whatever obstacle stood in his way until he reached his goal.

But this time...

He had bitten off far more than he could swallow.

Lucy stood on shaky legs, her chair scraping against the floor as she slammed her hands on her desk, scowling at his name that seemed to taunt her. "Did you really think I'd be okay with this? That I'd be better off?!"

She hiccupped as her tears fell and she folded her arms around herself. Hunched over, she squeezed her eyes shut, her memories mulling over that last night before their mission. Natsu had seemed so unlike himself - vulnerable in the light of the moon as he confessed his deepest fears.

He had always been the one to take a stand, to reassure, to lend emotional support and showcase the utmost sensitivity when needed. Never did he face his feelings or address them after a crisis, often seeming to pack them away in blissful ignorance.

But on that night, the two of them alone in her bedroom, the battle with the dragons still fresh in their minds, he had laid bare his worst nightmares.

And after Natsu finished telling her about the monsters that kept him awake at night, he had made a proclamation that eased her worries.

Lucy sobbed breathlessly, pounding her fist against her desk again. "You-You promised," she wept bitterly. "You promised to stay alive!"

"I'm sorry, Lucy," she could almost hear him say. The sound of his voice lingered in the air, the echo of his laughter and whispered confessions, a phantom presence that haunted her every waking moment.

"Lucy?"

Snapping her head up, Lucy furiously rubbed away her tears just in time for Levy to step into her apartment. "Hey," the blonde greeted half-heartily, trying in vain to rein in her misery.

Ever astute, Levy's expression fell and she immediately dropped her bag at the door. "Oh, Lu," she said, hurrying to wrap Lucy in a hug, eyes straying to where Natsu's name was blotched by tears.

Lucy's knees buckled, the last of her facade slipping with Levy's words, as they found themselves crumpling to the floor. "I-I thought I could do this. I really thought..."

"Shh," Levy soothed, running her hands over her hair. "It's okay."

"No, its n-not." Lucy wept into Levy's chest. "Take my creativity. T-Take my blood and tears and lifetime of dreams. I don't need them anymore!"

"Don't say that," Levy replied quietly, her voice thick with emotion, tightening her embrace as if she could somehow hold Lucy together. "You don't mean it."

Lucy hiccupped, squeezing her eyes shut and curling her fist around Levy's dress. "I-I miss them all so much! Natsu, and Erza, and Happy."

She felt Levy nod. "I know you do."

"I-I've been so lonely a-and afraid without them, but-" Lucy paused, sniffling as her lips trembled. "We were never lonely or afraid when we were together."

Levy was quiet for a moment, Lucy's cries filling the space between them, the bluenette seemingly at a loss for words. Tears flowed freely, a river of sorrow and frustration carving trails down Lucy's cheeks, each droplet a testament to the depths of her despair.

The solid script mage rocked her gently, fingers sliding through golden locks, trying to hush the broken sobs that filled the space between them. It all seemed so heavy - the weight of Fairy Tail's anguish settling upon them like an unyielding bolder, each step feeling like an uphill battle against gravity.

"Alienating yourself won't drive out the pain," Levy murmured as Lucy's sobs quieted to stuttering breaths.

Lucy knew she was right, but the only person the blonde wanted to see was forever out of her reach. She pulled back from Levy's embrace, her arms hanging loosely at her sides, slack and heavy. "Nothing will," she replied facetiously.

Levy tilted her head with a small smile, gentle brushing away the last of the celestial mage's tears. "You know who else might be feeling this way?" Lucy shook her head. "Gray. He was just as close to them as you were. He honestly hasn't been doing well, either."

Thinking back, Lucy hadn't seen Gray since the funeral. She hadn't had considerable energy to do much of anything except wallow in her own unending grief, and felt a touch of guilt weasel its way into her chest. The ice mage had known the rest of Team Natsu far longer than she had, and here she was drowning in her own self-pity when he was hurting, too.

How could she leave one of her remaining team members to face such misery alone?

"He's been drinking a lot," Levy continued, tucking a strand of blue hair behind her ear. "He starts fights at the guild every time he comes by."

Lucy knitted her brows. "Really?" That didn't sound like the cool-headed ice wizard she had come to know. Natsu had always been the one to start brawls in the guildhall, often sweeping Gray up in the process. Not the other way around.

"Yeah." Levy's smile wavered. "I think the two of you need to talk. If anyone understands what you're going through..." She wrapped her hand around Lucy's and shook her head. "...what you've witnessed... It'll be him. But that means you need to leave your apartment."

The celestial mage bit her lip, eyes scanning the safety of her bedroom walls. It had been terrifying enough to climb to the roof with Loke's insistence, the great expanse of the sky nearly too much, and had kept her in bed for days after. "I don't know..."

Levy huffed, a touch of annoyance under her breath. "You're going to have to leave here eventually, Lu. And his apartment isn't far, so you might as well make it your first stop."

Lucy practically recoiled at Levy's suggestion, but couldn't deny that the bluenette was right.

Standing up, Levy crossed the room to grab her bag, bringing it back to where Lucy sat. "By the way, the whole reason why I came here was to bring you this." She gently pulled out a tattered piece of paper and handed it to her. "Reedus created this while we were in stasis and thought you might want it."

Lucy carefully took it into her hands, delicately running her fingers over the picture. It was of Team Natsu years ago before they disappeared on Tenrou. They all looked so happy and carefree: Natsu with his toothy grin as Gray tried to punch him, Erza with her sword threatening to kill them both, a mess of strawberry cake on the floor; Happy flying overhead as Lucy laughed at the ridiculousness, while Wendy tried to soothe the ire from the corner, Charle next to her wearing a disapproving expression.

If she closed her eyes, Lucy could distinctly remember each of their voices, the feel of their magic as it filled the air, the smell of the guildhall that was so explicitly home. A moment that was so routine at the time - as common as the sunrise - yet meant so much now.

They had all taken those moments for granted.

"Thank you," Lucy whispered, tears gathering in her eyes all over again.

"Don't mention it," the solid-script mage brushed away with a smile. "You should thank Reedus next time you see him."

"I will."

Lucy traced Natsu's jaw, smiling at his unruly pink hair and fiery soul, captured so effortlessly in Reedus' creation. And for the first time since his death, Lucy finally began to remember not just that Natsu had died.

But that he had lived.

The low drone of the guildhall accompanied Freed as he climbed to the second floor, his eyes searching the plush burgundy lounge chairs. As he predicted, Evergreen was curled up in her preferred window seat, eyes listlessly gazing out at Lake Sicilora. She was spring incarnate in green and violet, bits of gold shining at her buttons. The afternoon sunlight spilled in and sparkled off the tear drops that clung to her lashes.

He loosed a breath before approaching her, announcing his arrival by holding a warm mug in front of her face. "I thought I'd find you here."

She blinked, as if he stirred her from distant memories, and peered up at him. "Freed," she greeted with a sigh, clearing her throat as if to mitigate her bruised emotions, slowly taking the cup from his hand. "I thought you were with Laxus."

He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall across from her, watching her carefully. Even though they had escaped the darkness that filled their nightmares, when Freed studied the fairy mage now, he took note that the haunting anguish had returned to her gaze. He had hoped it had been banished for good.

"He's with the Master."

Evergreen sipped slowly on the rose tea, her usual vivacious demeanor quieted - a persona allowed only for the eyes of the Thunder Legion. It had been over a decade since he had last seen her so dispirited. Not since those nights after they had escaped the Bureau of Magical Development.

They had different beginnings - orphaned, sold, offered - but found kinship with each other. Through all the experimentations, probing, and testing, fantasizing of what their lives could be like kept them alive. Each of them with their own dreams captivated those who worked in the Bureau, harnessing eye manipulating magic. And when the day came in which explosions rang out with screams that followed, they utilized those gifts to abscond from their captives.

Trauma bound and having no one else in the world, they stuck together, venturing through the countryside searching for purpose. Until a rod of lightning struck from the sky, shattered the earth, and illuminated even the darkest corners of their past.

Freed, Bickslow, and Evergreen never looked back.

It had been difficult to open their wounded souls to someone else - a person not born of the shadows that clung to them. But slowly they did, solidifying their place at Laxus' side, even when he self-righteously clamored for the title of Fairy Tail's Master.

After the lightning mage had been banished, Freed struggled with how to lead the Thunder Legion forward. But slowly, sometimes painfully, they had managed to form friendships outside their small band of misfits.

"I don't understand," Evergreen murmured, pulling Freed from his musings. Her brows were furrowed, her hands clutching the mug so tightly her knuckles turned white. "How's a kingdom to move forward without its queen?"

His heart sunk like lead. Evergreen had always envied Erza for being appointed the title of Queen of the Fairies - a title Erza had never asked for nor knew of its origin. Yet, after the Battle of Fairy Tail, the fairy mage stopped laying claim to be queen as a challenge directed toward Titania, but rather in jest between rivals.

Once upon a time, Evergreen had heard a story of a queen who could turn anyone she set her sights on into stone. She never wavered in her quest to obtain that divinity - to never again fall victim. A queen who bowed to no one.

Freed shifted his gaze out toward the afternoon sun glittering upon the water. "A queen on her throne is a woman who's mastered herself," he said wistfully. "She's not perfect, but she's complete. She has come to the full realization that everything she needs in order to fulfill her mission can be found from within. She's uncovered her powers and knows how to use them." Freed pushed off the wall and closed the distance between them, resting a hand on her shoulder as a tiny smile pulled at his lips. "Evergreen, you have always been a queen."

Her eyes watered as she covered his hand with hers, leaning her head against his arm in a silent thank you. "Freed, I-"

Evergreen was interrupted as the sound of the guildhall doors slamming open pulled their attention to the staircase. Freed crossed the room in a few large strides, Evergreen on his heels, as they peered over the railing and down to the guildhall below.

"What are Rune Knights from the Magic Council doing here?" Evergreen wondered aloud.

He exchanged a glance with the fairy wizard beside him, and her eyes mirrored his own. The Magic Council paying a visit to Fairy Tail rarely spelled anything good.

Lucy squinted as she stepped out into the day. Arrows of light met the ground a few hours past noon, puddles of light playing happily with the shadows cast by the surrounding trees and buildings. She reached out her hand, raising it to the sun.

It felt so warm.

Filling her lungs with the air of gardenias, she closed her eyes to recall a memory - of shouting beneath her window, of bubbling laughter, of home.

Even though she finally stepped outside of her apartment for the first time in weeks, the silence followed her like a specter.

Lucy exhaled slowly and opened her eyes again to the brilliance Magnolia offered. When she had first arrived at Fairy Tail, there had been such a splendor about the town, with the pristine lake waters to the north surrounded by mountains, and the sprawling greens to the south that lead toward Hargeon.

She wanted to bathe in that grandeur once more, but her chest remained too heavy.

Still, she managed to take a step, and then another, slowly walking down the cobblestone path.

Catching wind of others conversations as they passed, Lucy listened to the everyday troubles that stole attention from those around her. There were no woeful eyes that weighed her down like the day of the funeral, no morose expressions being tossed her way.

A few weeks. Was that all it took to forget someone? To move on?

Lucy clenched her jaw, curling her hands into fists, and paused in her steps.

Natsu, Erza, and Happy had such a large presence within Magnolia's borders. How could they just be-be forgotten so easily?!

Breathe, Lucy.

The dragon slayer's voice whispered in her ear, her erratically pounding heart calming for just a beat. An interval long enough to realize she was being foolish.

They didn't know them.

The people who lived within Magnolia - who walked its streets and chattered on blissfully - had no idea who the Salamander, Titania, and blue cat were. Not really. They were just a chaotic bunch of wizards who called Fairy Tail home.

No more than recognition in passing.

So Lucy took a breath and forced herself to keep moving.

The world still turned. The sun still rose and set, playing hide and seek with the moon. As summer wore on she knew autumn would arrive soon, and then winter. All of the things that proclaimed time's forward crusade.

No matter how long she shut herself away, Lucy knew those things would never change.

She couldn't control time anymore than she could control her grief.

Wholly preoccupied with her thoughts, Lucy arrived at Gray's before she knew it. The entrance to the condominium smelled of new paint and a faint odor of cigarette smoke. She climbed two flights of stairs and walked down the hall until she reached apartment 308, the door scratched and dented from years of abuse.

"Gray?" Lucy called out, rapping her knuckles against the door. "Are you-"

The force of her knock had the door squeaking open on its hinges. She knitted her brows. With all the issues the Fairy Tail guild had encountered over the years, everyone had developed a habit of locking their front door. "Gray, are you home?" Her voice rose with a hint of worry as she slowly pushed the door open. "It's Lucy."

A sudden crashing noise of shattering glass from the back of the apartment had her heart thundering in her chest, and she rushed in without hesitation. She hurried through the dark rooms to where the sound came from, stopping in front of the open bathroom door. The soft glow of a lacrima illuminated a startling scene, with Gray hunched over the bathroom sink, his chest heaving and his reflection splintered in the fragments of a broken mirror.

"Gray?!" Lucy cried out, immediately rushing to his side. His right knuckles were bloodied, the deep red a striking contrast against the white porcelain sink. "What happened?" she demanded, pulling his hand closer so she could try to assess the damage.

He didn't answer her, his eyes fixated on the blood slowly dripping down the basin toward the drain.

"Gray!" Lucy shouted this time, her hands cradling his face and forcing him to look at her. "Gray!"

He blinked, the light returning to his eyes as he focused on her face. "L-Lucy?" he murmured, his voice deep and husky, the scent of alcohol sweeping over her.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she chastised, wrapping his hand in a towel and forcefully guiding him out of the bathroom toward the living room. She made quick work of alighting the lacrimas as she gently pushed him into the sofa. Once he was seated, she steered her way back into the bathroom to grab Gray's first-aid kit he kept tucked under the sink, known to her by the few times Team Natsu ended up at his place after a mission.

Lucy returned to see him staring at his bloodied knuckles and sat beside him, pulling his injured hand onto her lap to assess the damage. "What were you thinking?!" she scolded, using tweezers to remove what small slivers of glass she could see.

Gray watched her meticulously work on his hand, curling his uninjured one into a fist. "I-I don't know. I just..." He paused long enough for her to lift her gaze to him. He sighed. "Its my fault, you know."

Lucy frowned, returning her eyes to her work. "So, you're going to drink excessively and punch away the guilt?"

He scoffed and averted his gaze.

No matter what any of her spirits or friends said, Lucy could empathize with Gray. They were the only ones of their team to walk away from that battlefield alive. There had to have been something more they could've done.

"We have blood on our hands," she murmured softly, the irony not lost on her as she wiped away the red that stained Gray's hand.

The ice-make mage nodded, quietly watching her work. "I know."

Lucy clenched her jaw, swallowing against the hard lump that formed in her throat. Her fingers skimmed over the callouses that brandished his hands, testimony to his ability to fight even without enchantments, and his harnessing of architect tools he used to breathe life into his maker magic.

"I always knew I was weak," she murmured, tossing the blood-soiled cloth on the table. She could rarely hold her own in a battle, often relying heavily on her spirits or teammates. "I'm just as powerless as I was seven years ago - just as powerless as I'll always be."

Gray was quiet, not disputing her claim. Perhaps because he agreed, or maybe he felt the same way. He confirmed her thoughts when only a moment later he said, "I feel useless, too."

Useless had never been a word Lucy used to describe the ice-make mage. He had stood against Deliora as a child, watched his master - the closest thing he had to family after the death of his parents - sacrifice herself to save him, and was shunned by Lyon for years. Yet, he had still managed to move forward, to build new friendships and allow himself to care about others again.

Hearing him believe himself to be weak tore at Lucy's heart strings.

He was the furthest from it, but denying his claim would be rejecting the guilt that pumped through both their veins. How could she refute what he was saying when it mirrored what she believed herself to be?

Lucy sighed deeply, grabbing the remaining pitiful roll of gauze from the kit, making a mental note to pick up more supplies. Must not have been stocked since the last time we- She grimaced, recalling the mission that landed them all at Gray's place afterward to recoup because Wendy was drained and he was the only one with medical reserves.

"It's hard being left behind," Lucy finally voiced. "It's hard to be the one who stays."

She watched Gray turn his gaze to the window. They both understood all too well the feeling of being left behind. They had both lost their parents, and now their teammates. Gray had lost a mentor and a friend, Lucy had lost Michelle. They shared a lot of tragedy between them.

Unhurriedly, Lucy began wrapping the gauze around Gray's hand with skilled movements, having done this over a dozen times before. "I don't know if you feel like this," she began, reminding herself of Levy's persuasion to confide in Gray. "That you want to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist." She shook her head. "I don't know. Something like that. I think wanting that is morbid, but I want it now. That's why I try not to think about them, or anything, really. I just want it all to stop spinning."

Gray was quiet for a while, long enough that Lucy began berating herself for even saying anything at all. Voicing those thoughts aloud were sure to end her up in the looney bin.

"Do you have nightmares, too?" he finally asked, his voice soft and hesitant.

"Not at first," she admitted. "At first I didn't dream. But after a while, yeah. I began dreaming of that night, of losing them all."

He nodded in agreement. "Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture."

Lucy tucked the bandage within itself to secure it and turned over his hand to check her work, brushing her fingers over his. "My nightmares are usually about losing you, too," she confessed softly. "I'm okay once I realize you're still here. That you're still alive."

Curling his fingers around hers, Gray dipped his head to catch her attention, and she lifted her gaze to meet his. He stared at her, eyes sweeping over her face, noticing the changes that had taken place behind the grief. Lucy had withered, like the world had crushed her very soul, and she was just a shell of the woman she had once been.

Gray didn't say anything. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and drew her in close. She leaned her head against his chest, breathing in the calming scent of snow-capped mountains.

Everyone else thought the ice-make mage brought the cold with him wherever he went. But for Lucy, Gray had always been like dry ice, so cold that it burned to touch. As she felt tears finally spill onto her cheeks, his hand tightened around her own.

In the mid-day sun that spilled through the window, they simply sat together, and for the first time since the funeral, Lucy felt a semblance of security. Gray knew her better than most. Being able to hold onto something so familiar in the midst of so much madness grounded her.

She was safe.

She was warm.

She was home.

Lucy wasn't sure how long they remained there, enjoying each other's company in a quiet that wasn't suffocating, but a knock on Gray's door startled them. They jumped, snapping out of their daze, before Gray quickly stood.

A knock sounded again. "I'm coming, I'm coming," Gray murmured, striding to his front door. He opened it with surprise to see an unexpected face on his doorstep. "Laki?"

"Hey, Gray."

Hearing the voice of one of their guildmembers, Lucy stood and joined them in the entryway. She furrowed her brows. "What are you doing here?"

Laki's brown eyes flitted between them filled with question, but she kept her thoughts to herself. "Oh, good, you're here, too, Lucy."

"What's going on?" Gray asked.

"The Rune Knights just showed up at Fairy Tail," Laki announced, hands fidgeting. "And they want to talk to you. Both of you."

Lucy and Gray exchanged a look. For weeks, they had been allowed to grieve in peace, avoiding the battlefield that haunted their every waking thought. But inevitably they knew the Council would want to speak to them, to question what exactly had transpired on that battlefield in full candor.

The blonde swallowed thickly, already feeling the panic building in the pit of her stomach, her heart sent into a flurry.

It was time to face the deaths of their teammates, whether they wanted to or not.