Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jak loved him. Of all people in Haven City, Jak loved him. At least, that’s what he said. Just as he was sailing away to parts unknown, Jak leaned over the railing and shouted it over the roar of the boat's engines. Torn was almost too breathless to return the favor.

Weeks into Jak’s big adventure, Torn wasn’t so sure anymore. He hadn’t called or messaged him once. That was the rule in place for everyone, everyone excluding Daxter. Still, uncertainty wriggled its way under Torn's skin. Jak was impulsive and known for making hasty decisions. Would he regret those words now that he's had time to think?

Torn shook the cobwebs out of his head. The Lurker Relief Effort wasn’t going to manage itself. He stood from his desk and turned to the window that consumed the outside wall. His office wasn't as large as the one at Freedom League Headquarters. His new office made up for it with the view. From the Capitol Pavilion, Torn could see half the city, all the way down to the docks.

The sky was a brilliant blue. The afternoon sun hung high overhead, turning the Pavilion's glass into a prism. Torn took a deep breath in, trying to absorb the sweet summer day. But he couldn't tear his eyes away from the harbor. Every day for the past few months, he watched the ships come and go. Whenever he saw a passenger ferry, his nerves ignited, hoping that soon his phone would chime.

Torn returned to his desk and picked up his phone. He didn’t have Jak’s number, but he had the next best thing. But Tess and Daxter were tired of answering Torn's questions. They always had the same vague responses. Nevertheless, Torn had to fight himself away from the speed dial.

Just as Torn was barely resisting the urge to call, the phone began to ring. The screen said Tess. Torn answered immediately. "Tess? I was just-"

“Hey, Torn! Ya busy?” came Daxter’s shrill, nasally voice. "I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time."

“I’m at work,” Torn sighed, turning down Daxter's volume. “Can I call you back later?”

"Oh, when you're at work we can't talk," said Daxter, doing his best to sound martyred. "When Tess and I are busy running the bar, suddenly it's 'Where's Jak? Is Jak okay? Is everything all right with Jak?' Did you ever think to ask how we're doing for a change?"

Torn hovered his hand over the red button. "I'm hanging up."

“Hold on! Hold on! This’ll only take a second. I promise."

Torn let out another long sigh and sat back in his chair. “Fine. What is it?”

“What are you doing after work tonight?”

Torn raised an eyebrow. He was probably going to hop on his zoomer, fly home, and help himself to something out of the freezer. He didn’t want Daxter to know his life was that boring without Jak around. “I don’t know. I was probably going to meet up with friends or something.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“I didn’t know you had friends.”

Torn walked right into that one. He let out a low growl, already tired of Daxter’s antics. “Dax, I don’t have time for the usual banter. Can you get to the point?”

“Fine! Fine!” said Daxter flippantly. Torn just knew he was making a rude gesture at his expense. “We’re having a party down at the Ottsel tonight and you’re invited!”

“Did Tess put you up to this?” Torn asked, narrowing his eyes. He'd lost track of the times Daxter called him a killjoy.

“Sheesh! Can’t a guy invite somebody over for some fun with friends? Drinks are on the house!”

Torn slouched over his desk and thought. He just wanted the call to be over as quickly as possible. He could hang up, but somehow Daxter was holding him verbally hostage. Finally, Torn said, “I don’t know, Dax. I’m already tired. I think I’ll just go home and crash.”

“I thought you were going out with friends tonight,” said Daxter, catching him in a lie.

Torn buried his head in his hand. “Look, I appreciate the invite but today has been a bitch and a half. If it's all the same to you, I'm gonna stay home, all right?”

“But you’ve gotta come!” Daxter all but screeched. “Please, Torn. I’m begging you here!”

Torn held the phone away from his ear. “Why is it so important that I come to your stupid party? Is it for the kids or something?”

"No, it's not that." Daxter sighed and said, “Jak’s coming home.”

Torn was so stunned, he dropped his phone on the desk. He hurriedly picked it up. “What?!”

“Tess thought it would be nice to surprise you too. His boat’s arriving around 7 tonight. I’m gonna meet him at the dock and everybody else is gonna hide inside the bar.”

“Isn’t that more of a birthday thing?” Torn asked. He felt his neck. His pulse was racing.

“Jak doesn’t know his birthday and the KG destroyed the records.”

That didn’t quite answer Torn’s question. He felt a familiar wave of guilt wash over him. As if he didn’t feel enough shame as a former Krimzon Guard. He focused back on Jak, who was coming home. Imminently. In a matter of hours. Torn felt the stubble that had grown on his face.

“I look like shit.”

“What’d ya say?” said Daxter. Torn almost forgot he was on the line.

Torn shook his head and quickly blinked his eyes. He stood resolutely straight. “I said I’ll be there. I might be a little late, but I’ll be there. Should I bring anything?”

"Just bring yourself,” said Daxter, glad to have won Torn over. “Ever since you and Jak started hooking up, he’s happier than I’ve seen him in a long time. Just try to keep your hands off each other tonight. I’ve been told that’s hard for you two.”

Torn puffed out his cheeks and tried to think of a comeback. He didn’t want to talk to Daxter about his sex life, so he let the joke slide. “Whatever. I’ll try to get there before Jak does, but I can't make any promises. I’ve got some things I gotta do first.”

Daxter laughed. “Does that include whacking-?”

Torn ended the call. He closed his eyes and took a breath. He opened his eyes as reality set in. He walked back over the window he had stared through for so many months. He watched the ships come and go. Tonight, Jak would be at long last on that ferry. Torn had so much to say to him. Jak would have even more. Before any of that could happen, Torn needed a shower and a shave.

Chapter Text

Jak lied face-down, half-asleep at a cafeteria table aboard the Solanis-Haven ferry. His voyage had been long and early. Jak rose from his bed before sunrise after a sleepless night at the inn. He had been tossing and turning, thinking about his return. With each passing hour, it churned his stomach more and more.

The speakers crackled to life. “Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving in Haven City in thirty minutes. If you came aboard with a vehicle, please be ready to disembark within fifteen minutes of our arrival.”

Jak tilted his head up and blinked repeatedly. He looked around at the people clearing their tables, readying themselves to leave. The hard fluorescent light was blinding and he still hadn’t gotten any sleep.

Maybe once he was safely in his bed above the Naughty Ottsel he could rest. He only hoped Daxter and Tess wouldn’t keep him up with endless questions.

Jak knew he would have to face them all eventually. Daxter. Tess. Keira. Ashelin. They’d all want answers. Where did he go? What did he find? Jak rehearsed what he would say in the mirror, but trying to make sense of it all exhausted him.

Then there was Torn. Jak was afraid of seeing him most of all. The last time they spoke, Jak told him that he loved him. He shouted it for all to hear.

Over the course of his journey, Jak slowly began regretting it. He had feelings for Torn, strong feelings. They came on so quickly, it frightened him. Meanwhile Jak was adrift, searching for direction. If he ever found it, it might lead them away from each other. Jak couldn’t bear to break his heart like that.

Jak hugged his arms against his body, trying to remember the feeling of Torn inside them. He could practically hear Torn’s slow, steady breathing as he slept. He remembered the floral scent of the soap he used. He saw Torn’s gray eyes looking sleepily back at him. It was an inviting picture, but Jak couldn’t touch him even in his mind. As much as he longed to fall asleep in Torn’s warm embrace, he had to do some thinking first.

The lights of Haven faded into the windows. The ferry slowed down as it entered the harbor. Jak took a breath and picked himself up. He grabbed his suitcase and his pack and trudged toward the stairs.

He stood at the railing, watching the ship inch toward the dock. The buildings loomed over him in judgment. He was returning to a world where he was a hero, a warrior, even a prince. He hated having to wear those guises, but who was he without them? A monster. Maybe no one at all.

Jak disembarked, hauling his luggage behind him. He walked down the ramp, scanning the boardwalk for Daxter. He looked and looked, but he couldn’t see much in the cover of night. He felt a sharp poke in the back of his leg. Jak had been gone so long, he forgot he needed to look down.

“Jak!” Daxter yelled. He jumped and wrapped his tiny arms around Jak’s waist. “I missed you so much, buddy. Don’t you ever leave for that long again!”

Jak hugged him back, but he couldn’t make any promises. He swallowed his anxiety and put on a smile. “It’s good to be back, Dax. Let’s go home.”

Daxter hopped onto Jak's shoulder and they walked back to the Naughty Ottsel. Daxter talked Jak's ear off about new developments at the bar, not to mention all the little firsts that came with being a new parent. Merik was close to talking and Margo was just beginning to walk.

Exhausted, Jak was nearly at a standstill by the time they reached the doors of the Naughty Ottsel. Daxter’s grinning neon face was shining brightly, piercing the fall of night along the boardwalk. Jak set his hand against the glass door. It was dark inside the bar. That was odd, but Jak was too tired to care.

"But enough about us. You've gotta tell me everything about your trip," Daxter said, dismounting his shoulder. "Don't get me wrong. The phone calls were nice, but I know you've been holding out on me."

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Jak said, leaning against the door. He let out a long, weary breath and pushed inside. “All I want to do is go upstairs and-”

Sleep, however, would evade Jak even longer. As he stepped into the bar, the lights sprang on. Jak was blinded by the fluorescent glow. A split-second later, a crowd of people burst from every cranny to yell, “Welcome home, Jak!”

Jak rubbed his eyes. The bar was packed with people staring at him, hardly any he recognized. And they were all smiling at him and playing with party favors. “Dax… what’s going on?”

“Surprise!” said Daxter, jumping and throwing out his arms. “It’s a welcome home party! For you!”

Jak looked from Daxter’s exuberant smile to the matching expressions filling the room. Maybe in other circumstances, a surprise like this would have been fun. Right now, it was a confetti-filled nightmare. Jak couldn’t match the energy in the room. Not knowing what to do was paralyzing.

Mistaking Jak’s petrified silence for pleasant surprise, Daxter grabbed Jak’s wrist and pulled him further into the bar. “Come on, Jak! We’ve got dozens of people here tonight and they all want to buy you a drink!”

A drink didn’t sound horrible. After everything Jak endured, he could use a nightcap. One shot, just to take the edge off. Brutter poured him a tiny glass of Lurker ale at the counter. Jak poised to take a sip, but he felt everyone’s eyes on him. They were all silent, waiting.

“So Jak, got anything to say to all our friends here?” Daxter mugged to the crowd. “Everyone’s here to see you!”

Jak looked around the room at barroom regulars, some former Underground operatives, and even a few Wastelanders he knew in passing. Some friendly acquaintances. No real friends.

Summoning what little strength he had, Jak put on another smile. He raised his glass and said, “It’s good to be home!”

The crowd cheered, toasting to Jak's return. Jak downed his drink. He gave Brutter a tip and moved toward the stairs. Some rowdy gentlemen crowded him and offered to pay for his next round. He wasn’t getting out of this so easily. And Daxter went to so much effort to welcome him home. Jak would endure it.

Two drinks then. Just two. It would help him sleep better. Two drinks became three drinks. Three drinks became four.

More and more people kept coming up to Jak, patting his back and asking about his adventures. Some of them just wanted to thank him for saving Haven from the Acherons months prior. Others expressed support if Haven's prince ever decided to run for office. The thought made Jak's skin crawl. He kept drinking. He could do less talking if he kept his lips against his glass.

“Where are Tess and the kids?” Jak asked through his growing haze.

“They’re at her sister’s tonight!” said Daxter, over the pounding music. He was distracted, raking in money from his patrons. “They’ll be back in the morning!”

Jak leaned over the bar and tried to clear his head. He tried channeling his old self, the one who didn’t care about being rude. Or his older self who never talked at all. Sadly, this Jak was the only one he had. He was too polite, tired, and drunk to tell everyone to leave him alone.

“Hey Jaky-Boy!” said a nasally voice, followed by a firm smack against Jak’s back. “Long time, no see! How was the trip?”

Jak groaned. Not him. Not now. Jinx wearing his typical construction work wear, complete with an ear-to-ear smile. He had a woman with him, presumably the latest in a long line of girlfriends. She had an excited grin on her face too. It was that look some women got when they met Jak Retter, the celebrity.

“Hey Jinx,” Jak droned. He flashed a quick, lazy smile at him. “The trip was good. Very… relaxing.”

“Really? ‘Cause you look like shit,” said Jinx, always blunt. He introduced his girlfriend Laela, who eagerly shook Jak's hand. “Rough voyage?”

Jak nodded, knocking back the rest of his drink. He didn’t want to get into it, especially not with him. Jinx was a better friend than Jak treated him as sometimes, but he and his starstruck girlfriend were not who Jak needed right now.

“Where’s Torn?” Jinx asked, looking around the room. “Shouldn’t he be here? It is his boyfriend’s party and all.”

Jak snapped back into the moment. “Boyfriend?”

Jinx shrugged and leaned against the bar. “Fuck buddy. Whatever you want to call it. You know, you two owe me big-time. If I hadn’t found out you like guys, Torn probably wouldn’t have had the balls to put the moves on you.”

“You did what?” asked Jak and Laela together.

Chuckling, Jinx elaborated. “So, we’re out one night at this club up in New Haven. Jak’s out on the dance floor with some chick and our buddy Torn’s moping in the corner. He's harshing my buzz so I ask him what’s wrong. Turns out, he’s jealous ‘cause Jaky here’s not paying him any attention. Course, he didn’t even know you liked dudes yet. I told him I’d help out.”

Jak was stunned into silence for a moment. He blinked. “He asked you to find out if I was-?”

“I may have volunteered my services,” Jinx said, suggesting Torn hadn't asked at all. “We danced. We talked. I got what I came for. Torn stormed out. He got all mad ‘cause he thought I was trying to snag you for myself. But you know what they say. Bros before, uh... well, you know.”

Newfound discomfort washed over Jak, realizing he was the word at the end of that sentence. He looked at Laela, rolling her eyes. As a woman, she was probably used to that kind of talk. For Jak, it was new and weird. He let it pass. Laela had a glint in her eye ever since the topic turned to Jak's personal life.

"Jinx really should not have told you that," said Jak, wincing.

"Why not?" asked Laela, her ears drooping.

Jak whispered to Jinx, "Does she know which Torn we're talking about?"

Jinx's eyes lit up. He hurriedly said to his date, "He's a friend from the demolition crew. Real quiet type. Doesn't want any attention just 'cause he's fooling around with Jak here."

Jak pursed his lips and nodded. He appreciated the save. Torn valued his privacy, not to mention his job security. It didn't sit well that Jinx reduced their relationship to "fooling around" and "fuck buddies." "Boyfriends" didn't feel right either. What even were they? High on adrenaline, he told Torn that he loved him. Right after agreeing to nothing more than a first date. Their relationship was all over the map.

Jinx waved his hand in front of Jak’s face. Jak hadn’t realized he’d been staring off into space. He shook his head and fluttered his eyes.

“It’s been fun, but we’ve gotta hit the road,” said Jinx. Laela gently pulled him toward the door, batting her eyes. "There's, uh, some other things we wanted to do tonight. Glad to have you back in town. Hit me up when you wanna check out the Sandover project."

"Sure," Jak said vacantly. "Glad you could make it."

Jak breathed a sigh of relief. As they departed, he sank into an empty stool and pondered Jinx's words. Where was Torn? He hadn’t hoped to see him fresh off the boat, but everyone else was present. Well, not Keira. Or Ashelin. Or Sig. Was Jinx the closest thing he had to a friend here? Jak looked from Jinx's empty seat to the sea of almost-strangers. Daxter meant well, but this wasn't much of a welcome home.

Several drinks later, Jak was lost dancing amidst the crowd. Music blared. Colored light beamed in his eyes. He shut them and let himself get swept away, blocking out unwanted thoughts with the beat. Midway through his favorite song, he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.

Thinking it was another blowhard from the bar or celebrity chaser, Jak spun around and slurred, “Can I help you?”

In the low light, it was hard to make out the man's face. His silhouette wasn't ringing any bells. As the laser lights flew across his face, Jak barely detected some KG tattoos. It was his distinctive rasp that told Jak who he was. Jak stumbled back and tried to focus his eyes.

"Torn?"

"Hey."

Jak could hardly hear him over the music. Torn waited for him to say something, but he was too far gone to speak. The world spun in slow motion as they stared at each other. The disco ball's roaming flecks of light were the only things telling Jak that time hadn't stopped completely.

The lights came up just enough to see Torn. He was wearing a charcoal-colored suit with his hair tied back. Unless Jak was mistaken, it looked like it had been cut. Little black stones hung at his ears. Had his ears always been pierced? He was a vision sitting amongst the dazzling light.

Jak's stomach sank. Torn showed up looking gorgeous and Jak was not quite drunk enough to forget how terrible he looked in comparison. Torn came closer. He said something else drowned out by the roar of music and conversation. Torn leaned toward him. The nearby table became an attractive place to duck and hide.

Torn guided Jak away from the dance floor into a relatively quiet corner. Jak stumbled the whole the way. Torn nearly had to catch him. Once in the corner, they looked at each other in silence again. They’d both forgotten what they even meant to say.

“Hey,” Torn repeated, half-smiling.

“Hey,” said Jak, shaken by the sound of his voice. “You’re here. I thought you weren’t gonna make it.”

“I wouldn’t miss this,” said Torn. His eyes traveled all over Jak's face. There were rings around his eyes, but the full beard Jak sported captured Torn's attention. "You, uh... You grew out your beard?"

Jak scratched his neck, embarrassed to be so unkempt. "Not on purpose. I was on the road a lot. I'll probably shave tomorrow."

Torn brushed Jak's cheek with his thumb. "Don't. I like it."

Jak's legs were beginning to quiver. Torn watched as Jak struggled to stay upright. “How much did you have to drink?”

Jak knew drunk wasn’t an attractive look on him. He dodged the question. “Dax is selling Lurker ale now. Brutter's been importing it from the village. You should try some. It’ll be just like our trip to the jungle.”

“I’m more interested in the trip you were just on. Do you need to sit down?”

Jak stepped back and slipped on some spilled liquor. Torn barely caught him, holding him tightly against his frame. Torn’s eyes were wide with worry. Jak’s embarrassment faded into a familiar comfort in Torn’s embrace. It was everything he'd been lacking all these months. Torn righted him and held him by his shoulders.

“You should go to bed,” said Torn firmly, a touch of disappointment tinging his voice.

Jak pushed through Torn's grip to get even closer. “Sounds great. Why don’t you join me?”

Torn scrunched his eyebrows. “You’re drunk.”

Jak set his hands on Torn's waist. “You’re sexy.”

Jak leaned into Torn, hoping for at least a kiss, and then slipped again. Torn caught him, forcing Jak to acknowledge that he was making an ass out of himself. The only way to save any face was to admit defeat.

“Fine. I’ll go to bed.”

Jak hooked his arm over Torn's shoulders and slumped against him. Failure loomed over him again. This time, the failure to greet his boyfriend - if that's what they were - like a halfway put-together person. His one goal had been to come home not looking like a wreck. So much for that.

“Torn, you made it!” Daxter shouted from the countertop. His hand was full of bills. His face fell. “What’s with Jak?”

“He’s had enough fun for one evening. I’m taking him to bed,” said Torn, walking Jak toward the back stairs.

Daxter stomped to the edge of the bar. “You better not mean-!”

Jak rolled his head in Daxter’s direction. “I already tried it. He said no.”

Jak made an exaggerated pouty face. He knew Torn would be taking advantage of him if he’d said yes. Torn helped Jak past the curtain, up the stairs, into his tiny, nearly empty room.

Torn set Jak down at the foot of the bed. He looked around for some pajamas. Jak must have left his luggage downstairs somewhere.

“I’ll be right back,” said Torn, heading for the door.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jak mumbled, sloughing off his shirt and pants. “You know I don’t wear much when I sleep.”

Torn averted his eyes. Jak’s journey had done good things for his body, but this wasn't the time to look. “L-let me get you some water.”

“I’m sorry, Torn.”

Torn turned around in the doorway. Jak was lying face-down on the bed, facing the wrong direction. His head was half-buried in the comforter, tilted toward Torn. Something beyond exhaustion weighed down his eyelids. The angle of his frown was almost pained. Something bad must have happened, or maybe it was something that hadn’t.

“Sorry for what?” Torn asked, stepping back into the room.

“Sorry you had to see me like this. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. I fucked up.”

“You got drunk. That isn’t a crime.”

Jak shook his head, which only buried his face further into the bedding. Torn left the room and hurried down to the kitchen. He said a brisk hello to Brutter, who was busy mixing drinks. Torn searched the cupboards till he found a clean glass and filled it in the sink.

When he returned to the bedroom, Jak had dragged himself into the correct alignment on the bed and was now fast asleep. Torn couldn’t bear to wake him. He set the glass on the nightstand and decided to take his leave. He felt a pull to give Jak a quick kiss on the temple. Instead, he found a scrap of paper and scribbled down a note. He placed it beside the glass of water.

With that, Torn turned and left. He walked down the stairs and out of the bar without saying a word to anyone. The music was still thumping. Jak was a heavy sleeper on a good day. It wouldn't bother him. Jak’s look of despair followed Torn as he flew back to his apartment and lied down for his own disquieted sleep.

Chapter Text

Jak's crusty eyes slowed pried themselves open. Light was streaming through the windows. Pain flooded Jak's skull. He squinted, craning his neck to see the clock. Both hands were pointing straight up.

Clenched his eyes, Jak rolled his body away from the windows. He tried to think, to remember what had happened. His brain felt so muddy. The smell of lavender reached his nose. Tess's laundry detergent. Jak was home.

The pieces began falling into place. He came home on the ferry. Daxter met him at the dock. He blindsided Jak with a party. Jak drank. And drank. That explained the headache. He didn’t remember getting undressed and into bed.

Someone left him a glass of water. Jak reached over and took a sip, dribbling a little on the sheets. His hand brushed a piece of paper on the nightstand. Jak sat up, shielding his eyes from the light, and read it.

Jak,

I don’t know if you’ll remember this tomorrow. I came to the party last night and helped you into bed. You seemed really out of it. Let me know if you want to talk. Or if you want to wait until you’re feeling better, that’s cool too. I’d really like to see you. I missed you.

Torn

He reread Torn’s note four or five times. His stomach sank with each reading. His head ached even worse. Struggling, Jak managed to stand up long enough to close the curtains and fall back into bed. Why did he let so many people buy him drinks? Why did Torn have to see him completely plastered? Somehow, Torn being patient and mature only deepened the pit in Jak’s gut.

Jak flipped the note over.

You still owe me that date.

With a mirthless chuckle, Jak set the note aside. He checked the clock with clearer eyes. It was well past noon. Tess and the kids should be home by now. Maybe Jak could leverage his hangover as an excuse not to talk. Tess was bound to have questions. They all would. He’d have to answer them eventually.

Pinned down by the weight of his worries, Jak could have easily slept for the rest of the day. He turned over and shut his eyes. He had just begun to drift off when he heard tiny knuckles rapping the bottom of his door.

Three gentle taps. Silence. Another three gentle taps. Too courteous and methodical to be Daxter. Jak sighed.

“Jak, are you awake?” Tess asked, slightly singsong.

Jak’s mouth was still dry. He could hardly talk. Tess repeated the question, slightly louder.

“I’m awake,” Jak droned. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

“Oh good!” said Tess. Jak could feel her smile burning through the door. “When you’re ready, we have breakfast waiting downstairs. The kids would like to see you. We’ve all missed you a lot.”

“I’ll be down in a minute,” said Jak, trying to sound enthusiastic. He listened for a reply and was met with silence.

Jak lied there with his eyes closed, savoring every remaining second. He only had so long before he'd fall asleep again. Only so long before Daxter and Tess would get impatient. He opened his eyes. His blood turned to lead, demanding that he stay.

Somehow, he found the will to get up, make himself presentable, and trudge down the stairs to the kitchen. He peeked through the round window in the door. The family sat around an ottsel-sized table with two tiny chairs and three even tinier highchairs for the babies. It looked like a child's tea party. In front of them, piled high, was a breakfast banquet none of them could ever hope to eat.

Jak thought about turning back, but the smell of breakfast hit his nose. His stomach rumbled. Jak took a breath, put on a smile, and opened the door.

"Jak!" Tess chimed, midway through feeding Margot. She ran to greet him. Jak crouched to give her a hug. "Oh, it's so good to see you!"

Even with her thin ottsel arms, Tess's hugs were crushing. Jak patted her back and choked out, "Good to see you too."

Tess grabbed Jak's hand and dragged him, hunched over, to the table. There was a cushion on the floor just for him. A fresh bouquet of wildflowers sat in a vase. There was a little pink gift bag with “Welcome Home” emblazoned on it in sparkly script.

"We've got a plate ready for you, all your favorites!" said Tess, removing a plate from under a heat lamp. "Flapjacks, hiphog links, and I talked my mom into giving me her holiday omelette recipe. It's supposed to be for the morning after the Feast of Mar, but I told her it was a special occasion."

Tess placed the plate in front of him. The smell was immersive now. For a moment, Jak forgot his anxiety and began ravenously shoveling eggs into his face. Daxter and Tess waited patiently for Jak to slow down before interrupting him.

“What have you been up to this whole time?” Tess asked, flying a spoonful of baby food into Merik’s waiting mouth. “You must have been crazy busy.”

Jak's fork froze in midair. He set it down and sucked in a breath. “I’d rather not get into that right now. I’ve got a killer hangover. I’ll tell you more later.”

“How much trouble did you two get into last night?” asked Tess, looking mainly at Daxter. “I leave for one night and the bar's a disaster.”

“It’s not our fault Jak’s popular," said Daxter. "You wouldn’t believe how much money we made with people buying him drinks all night. It was a great time until Torn showed up and decided the fun was over.”

"Can we not talk about that either? I really regret letting Torn see me like that. I was..." Jak didn't want to dwell on the last night. "How is he? I barely remember talking to him yesterday. I must have passed out before he left."

"He’s fine," said Tess. "He’s been enjoying his job in Lurkers’ Affairs. Brutter says conditions have really improved at the village. Once the Sandover project is done, they’re going to build a new settlement closer to the city, somewhere the Lurkers can have their own land without all the Metal Heads around.”

"That's great!" said Jak, genuinely pleased. "Has he... Has he said anything about me?"

Daxter and Tess fell silent. They glanced at each other.

"He's asked about you," Tess said vaguely. "We didn't tell him much, only that you were okay. I would have liked to tell him more, but I wasn't privy to very much myself."

Tess glanced again at Daxter, who was happily eating and unaware of her palpable annoyance. She turned back to Jak.

"I know you're tired. We don't have to talk about it at length. But-"

"But what, Tess?"

In her softest voice, Tess asked, "Did you find her?"

There it was. The question he'd been dreading. His remaining appetite dried up, along with his mouth. He took a drink. He stared at his plate for more than a few seconds. Daxter and Tess leaned in, waiting for his response.

"No. I didn't," Jak finally answered. He pushed his plate toward the center of the table.

"I'm sorry, Jak," said Tess, her hand reaching over the table. She would have placed it over Jak's if she only had longer arms.

Jak barely processed her sympathies. "I looked everywhere. The trail just ran dry. I started backtracking, checking around for anything I might have missed. I talked to the same people two or three times. Nothing. If she's out there, I'm not sure I'll ever find her."

"But she escaped the city?" asked Tess.

Jak nodded. "She got pretty far. She made it to Solanis, then Terra Luna. I got souvenirs everywhere I went. But once I got to Marino Village down south, there was nothing. No trace of her anywhere."

Tess and Daxter's ears both wilted at the news.

"At least you tried," said Tess, having nothing more helpful to say. She nudged Daxter, who was looking equally lost.

Daxter's face twisted a few times trying to find some comforting words. "Hey! Why don't we go check out New Sandover today? Construction's been coming along. It's starting to look real nice!"

"Maybe some other time," said Jak, rising from his seat. "I think I'm just going to go back to bed for a while. Thanks for breakfast."

Out of the corner of his eye, Jak caught Tess staring sternly at Daxter. He wasn't upset though. He didn't need them to make the situation better, though he appreciated them trying. He trudged up the stairs, wandered into the bathroom, and found some pain pills for his head. After tossing them back with water, Jak went back to bed.

Torn's note was staring at him, waiting for his return. He had to deal with it. The longer he waited, the worse it would be. Maybe Torn could provide him some comfort. Jak wasn't ready, but he had to say something.

Jak reached for his phone and found Torn's number. Torn was probably busy with work. He'd send a quick text. Torn wouldn't be likely to respond till much later.

I saw your note. Sorry you had to see me like that. Thanks for taking care of me.

I'd like to see you, but I'm still exhausted from the trip. Is it okay if we take a rain check?

Jak pondered what he wrote. It was a lousy way to end things.

I missed you too.

That would have to do. Jak set his phone on the nightstand and hit the light. He climbed back into bed. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and imagined Torn beside him, his fingers lightly brushing Jak's skin.

Jak's hands became Torn's as they roamed his body. He stretched out his neck for Torn to kiss. He groped his chest the way Torn liked to do. Jak touched parts of himself he only ever let Torn touch. When he was done, sleep took him so quickly he didn't even have a chance to clean himself off.

He awoke with a start, though he didn't know why. The memory of his dreams slipped right through his fingers. The clock told him it was 5:45. He had slept for another four hours at least. If he kept sleeping now, he'd be up all night. That was the worst time to be alone with one's thoughts. Plus, his stomach rumbled again. Leftover breakfast sounded like heaven.

Jak propped himself up on his arm. He felt a tug on his inner thigh from the fabric of his sweats. "Oh right. Gross."

Jak disrobed, letting his garments fall wherever they may. He shut himself in the shower and let the water cascade over him. The initial blast was cold, but in the moment, it was the most refreshing thing Jak ever felt. The rising temperature was a comforting embrace. Just like in bed, Jak could have stayed there for hours. He was hidden, protected. There was no world outside the misty panes of glass.

A soft ping shattered Jak's wall of safety.It might have been Daxter or Tess calling him down for dinner. Maybe Keira heard he was back and wanted to say hello. Jak noticed his pruning fingertips. He hurried into the bedroom half-dry and checked his phone.

It was Torn.

That's all right. Take all the time you need.

Don't worry about yesterday. I'm just glad you're okay.

Are you okay?

Jak sat naked on the foot of his bed. He didn't have an answer. Torn saw him. He knew Jak was a mess. They weren't in the habit of lying to each other before. Jak didn't want to start now. He dodged the question entirely.

I'm not an alcoholic if that's what you're asking.

That was too terse. Jak knew it the second he pressed send. He stared anxiously at the screen until Torn's message appeared.

That's not what I'm asking.

Jak could hear Torn's tone flattening as he read it in his voice. His stern brow was staring him down, distant as he was. Jak typed and erased, typed and erased. No answer felt right. Jak said as little as possible to satisfy him. The rest could come later.

I will be. I think.

It's been a rough few days.

Torn sent him another message.

Can I call?

That was the opposite of what Jak wanted. His body was still so heavy, his limbs so weak. His bed beckoned to him. His stomach too. Soon, Daxter and Tess would also be hounding him again. It was too much. Jak took the easy way out.

Dinnertime. No phones at the table.

It was weak, but Torn took the hint.

Okay. Call me when you feel like talking.

Another triad of dots danced at the bottom of the screen. Jak watched them till they died out. He sensed Torn's despondency through the phone. Jak's body uncurled across the bed. His wet hair soaked into the pillow. Jak scrolled through the whole conversation, feeling increasingly sour.

A new message appeared, eclipsing the thread of texts from Torn. It was Daxter. Dinner was ready. Jak wasn't a complete liar after all.

Jak dressed in a new shirt and pants. They were just as dirty as the previous, but they wouldn't carry the last day's stink. He sniffed the fabric and recoiled. The whole bag needed a wash. Tomorrow, he'd will himself to do laundry. That would be the only demand he'd make of himself.

The Laranja-Mygil family was right where Jak had left them. Only this time, they were gathered around a buffet of takeout. There was some bustle coming from the bar. A glass shattered. They were largely unfazed as Brutter hurried off with a dustpan and broom.

"You know, Daxter, I wonder if we should think about moving," Tess said, calming Margo.

"What do you mean, 'move'? Give up the bar?" Daxter said, poking his head into the barroom.

Jak helped himself to barbecued yakow and stir-fried vegetables. He channeled his younger self and shrank back, just letting them talk.

"No, but maybe it would be good if we lived somewhere less..." Tess cringed when another glass broke. She ended her sentence by cocking her head toward the bar.

Daxter rolled up his sleeves and went out to see what was going on. The sound was muffled, but Jak could tell he was yelling at someone. He could make out that screech anywhere. Some patron's voice grumbled back at him. Tess just sighed and shook her head.

"Everything okay?" Jak asked, mid-bite.

"Everything's fine," said Tess, helping Margo latch onto her bottle. "It's been a little difficult around here lately. No sleep. Babies crying. Changing diapers every five minutes. And ottsels learn to walk sooner than humans apparently, so that's going to be fun. I don't how much of this is normal and what's some weird Precursor stuff. And raising three kids at the local dive bar is not ideal. You know, when I took that assignment from Torn, I had no idea this place was going to become my life."

Jak twirled his noodles around his fork. "I thought you liked it here."

"I did. Daxter's here. You were here," said Tess. Jak noticed she referred to him in the past tense. "Then the babies came and now I'm wondering if we need a change of scenery. We've got the money. We could move down the street for all I care. Just as long as it's away from all these assholes."

Jak's eyes went a bit wide hearing Tess swear in front of the children. He'd been watching his mouth since they were born.

Tess noticed. "You can say 'asshole' in front of a baby, Jak. They're not gonna remember."

"I'm sorry for not asking how things were at breakfast. Or lunch, I guess," Jak said, realizing that he'd been rude. "I was still kind of out of it."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind. Have you heard from Torn?"

Jak gulped. He played it cool and took another bite of meat. "Yeah," he said, covering his mouth while he chewed.

Tess's ears perked up. "And how's he doing?"

"We didn't say much. I wasn't feeling up to talking."

"He's been worried sick about you. We've all been worried, but he's been asking about you the most. Don't leave him hanging too long. I believe I remember something about you owing him a date?"

Jak blushed and Tess giggled. How much did Torn tell her? Jak let out another despondent sigh. Tess quit smiling and her drooping ears followed suit.

"Do you not want to see him?" Tess asked.

"It's not that. I'm just not sure what we are. We're going on first date after we already... I feel like we did this out of order and really fast," said Jak, tripping over his own words. "I like him. I might even love him. And I'm terrified of hurting him."

"Hurt him? This is Torn we're talking about. I once saw him get shot in the shoulder and walk it off. I stitched up a wound for him with only whisky for anesthetic. If they had cracked the Precursor Stone, the only things left in Haven would have been cockroaches and Torn. He'll be fine."

Jak glanced out the window that led to the back alley. He could barely see his face reflected in the grimy glass. "A year ago I would have agreed with you. Although, a year ago, this wasn't even on my radar. I still think about how weird it is."

"And I'm the mother of three Precursors. Life's fucking weird," said Tess. Jak got that look again. She rolled her eyes. "You can say 'fuck' in front of a baby, Jak."

Daxter came back into the kitchen. He wiped his brow and sank down the wall. "I'm getting real tired of Krew's old clientele," said Daxter from the floor. "Seems like every day we're adding another name to the "do not serve" list. Course, they're the ones with all the money to spend. I think you might be onto something, honey. First thing tomorrow, I'm getting the real estate listings."

Tess clapped, little Margo tight in her embrace. She started to cry and Tess quickly got back to cradling her. Daxter lifted Jayne out of his highchair - which wasn't very high - and gave him his serving of formula. It was weird as hell watching Daxter and Tess parent their three fuzzy children. Though, come to think of it, life hadn't been normal since Jak was seventeen. No point in expecting it to be normal now.

Jak took his time finishing dinner. Daxter and Tess weren't going to pester him with any more questions. They were busy with the kids and their sympathetic glances told him that they understood. They didn't though. Not really. There was more Jak hadn't told them, and he still wasn't ready. Maybe tomorrow, if he could bear to think about it.

He considered grabbing a drink in the bar, but vague memories of last night still plagued him. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to drink again. He'd had that notion before and it never lasted. He entered his room, but he wasn't ready to sleep again. He used the bathroom, just to have something to do. Then, for no particular reason, Jak climbed the stairwell all the way to the roof of the building.

The air outside was cool and crisp. The sun was dying on the horizon. Jak hadn't been on the roof since Torn all but confessed his love for him, and hurled his Freedom League communicator over the boardwalk to the water. It was an impressive throw. Jak wanted to smack himself for how obtuse he'd been, ignoring what had been staring him in the face. Maybe if he hadn't been so afraid of his own feelings, Torn's would have been more obvious.

Here he was, ignoring his feelings again. Jak sat on the ledge and looked at the harbor, getting lost in the rippled reflection of the sun. He had to talk to Torn. He needed to see him. The void beside him on the roof felt almost perversely wrong. There should be a face caught in this luxurious clash of light and shadow. And it needed to be Torn's.

"Maybe I really did mean it," Jak thought, picturing his hands bracing the rail of the boat. That thought only worried him more. So much felt at stake. All he could do for now was watch the sun drown itself and make a childish wish on the first star he saw. He second-guessed that too. Jak wished a lot of things.

Downstairs, Jak grabbed his phone and typed up a quick message.

Are you free tomorrow?

Chapter Text

Two days later, Jak was sitting hunched at a booth in the corner of an upscale restaurant, waiting for his date to arrive. His leg shook restlessly. He checked his reflection in the back of a spoon, then he checked his phone. Torn was three minutes late. That wouldn’t be a problem save for the fact that Torn was never late for anything.

Sometime during their stint in the Underground, Torn impressed upon Jak his philosophy on tardiness. “Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable,” Torn growled while Daxter flapped his paw like a gaping mouth. In Torn’s defense, if Jak had been late that day, one or more people would have certainly been dead.

While he stared intently at his own twitchy hands, Jak overheard the hostess say, "Right this way, Commander Rovia."

Jak looked up. A familiar voice said, "Thanks. And you can just call me Torn."

Within seconds, Torn turned the corner and spotted him. Jak's green hair was always easy to see in a crowd. Torn hustled toward Jak in an azure suit coat, looking tense. When he laid eyes on Jak, Torn paused. He reminded himself to smile and slowly approached, patting his head for any stray hairs.

"Hey," Torn said gently, with a modest wave.

"Hey," Jak returned. He looked Torn over, seeing him for the first time in months. Their reunion at the party did not count.

Torn looked just fantastic. His skin had a healthy glow. His body seemed a bit fuller. Jak had seen him in those clothes before but Jak did not recall Torn's calves looking quite that shapely. He must have been working out. All of that was forgotten when Jak noticed his hair.

It was gone. Well, no. That was an overreaction on Jak's part. But there was a lot less than Jak remembered. Had he looked that way at the party? The sides of his head were buzzed so close, he was practically bald around the neck. The top was pulled back into a single wolftail. It made Jak feel things, but he wasn't sure what.

Torn didn't move until Jak gestured to the empty seat. "Sorry, I'm late," said Torn, shuffling into the booth.

Jak scoffed teasingly. "By... four minutes. What happened to your hair?"

Torn rubbed his neck. Jak could faintly hear it bristle. "I thought I'd try something different. Hope you like it."

Torn had the most uncharacteristically boyish expression awaiting Jak's approval. Jak tried to suppress a grin. "Yeah, I do."

"You're looking good," said Torn, checking out Jak's features.

Jak knew he was reading into things, but something about the way Torn said it carried some irksome subtext. He knew a few days ago he looked like absolute shit. At least he pulled himself somewhat together since then.

"Been getting some sun?" added Torn, noticing Jak's browner complexion. "I heard Solanis is nice this time of year."

Jak sucked in a breath. "Can we not talk about my trip just yet? It was rough and I just want this to be fun. Just a regular first date. Is that okay?"

Torn nodded. "Sure, if that's what you want. The suspense is killing me though."

Jak and Torn picked up their menus and started perusing. They ordered drinks from their waiter. Jak made a point of ordering something non-alcoholic. Torn did the same. Jak returned to his menu, still unsure of what he wanted.

"I think I'll get the sea bass," Torn said decisively, setting his menu aside.

Jak acknowledged this with a flick of his chin and kept reading. He could feel Torn's eyes on him, but he hesitated to look. Then he'd have to say something. That was not his strong suit, even in regular circumstances.

"Is everything okay?" Torn asked, eyeing him strangely.

"Why do you ask?" said Jak with a forced inflection. His arm twitched, betraying him.

"You're not very talkative. I know the last few months are off the table, but we gotta talk about something. Do you not wanna do this right now?"

Jak lowered the menu. “I think it's just nerves," he said, which was true enough. "This is embarrassing to say, but this isn’t just my first date with you. This is my first date... with anyone. And I already feel like I'm blowing it.”

Torn raised an eyebrow. “You don't have to be nervous. And what about Keira?”

Jak set the menu down and scratched his nose. “That was different. Keira and I just hung out a lot and suddenly we were a couple. There was no formal sit-down. I really don’t know what you’re supposed to talk about at these things.”

Torn tried not to crack a smile. Jak's awkwardness was endlessly charming. He was so self-assured in more perilous situations, but looked completely lost over dinner. “It’s not complicated. You talk about where you went to school, where you grew up, what you do for work.”

Jak sat back and pondered this. He came up empty. “Well, I don’t have a job. I have no formal education. And I grew up in Sandover Village. Right down the road. Three hundred years ago.”

Torn snickered. “I'll pretend I didn't already know that.”

"I must sound like great boyfriend material."

"At least you're cute, right?" Torn teased. It was playful, but Jak still felt Torn's eyes boring into him like drills.

“I don’t know if this is even qualifies as our first date," Jak continued, trying not to wring his hands. "Let’s be real here. You and I have been into each other for a while. We had dinner while I was staying over. We weren’t calling them dates, but… I feel like we’ve been here already.”

Torn nodded along. He knew that already too, although ordering takeout or dining out with Daxter and Tess were hardly Torn's ideas of a date. Jak was the one who wanted to take things slow. Torn was just humoring him. Jak felt his excuses for being so withholding running thin. The smoulder of Torn's eyes in the low restaurant lighting made Jak wonder why he was being so uptight in the first place. That was it though, the feeling of falling. Falling too fast.

Jak ran his thumb over his knuckles. “These things are about figuring out if you want to see each other again, right? I already know I want to keep spending time with you.”

“Same here.”

"So what are we doing here?"

"Whatever you want."

Torn sent him one of those gentle half-smiles. He never smiled like that until long after the war ended. It was warm and soft, wrapping Jak in familiarity and comfort. If Torn had looked at him that way during their days in the Underground, Jak would have completely forgotten about Keira. Lost in Torn's eyes, Jak still withdrew his hand when Torn's got too close.

"Let's talk about you for a while," Jak said, hoping his interest would make up for any withheld affection. "There's a lot I still don't know about you. Where did you go to school?"

"Well, you know me. I enjoy being mysterious," said Torn, earning himself a small chuckle. "I grew up in Dead Town. My dad and my brother were both KG. Me... I had this buckwild idea to go into the arts."

Jak perked up his ears. He'd heard Torn clumsily play the guitar once, but an artist? "What kind of art?"

"I wasn't really sure. I know it sounds kinda..." Torn trailed off, letting his wrist go limp. "But at the time, being an artist was a risky gig. Once Praxis took over, there went the free press. And not to speak ill of your dad or anything, but Damas's relationship with the media wasn't exactly great either. They grilled him hard over the Metal Head issue and he pushed back. I mean, I wouldn't want his job."

"You and Ashelin basically had his job. You both did okay," said Jak. "I know Damas was complicated. You don't have to go easy on him for my sake."

Torn nodded. "So anyway, before I joined the Guard, I enrolled at the North Haven School of Fine Arts. That didn't last long. I hadn't even declared yet when I dropped out."

Jak noticed the light in Torn's eyes beginning to dim. He steered the subject away from Torn's KG days. "What sorts of projects did you work on?"

"Little bit of everything," said Torn, refocusing. "Mostly just the basics while I was there. Color theory. Drawing lessons. Did a lot of still life. God, I still remember getting charcoal all over my hands. It got on everything. And the stuff we had to sketch. Yakow skulls. Human skulls. They were fake. I think they were fake. Flower arrangements. Gourds. One time, our professor set a single onion in front of us and said, 'Okay, go.' That's not even getting into human life drawing."

"Don't people have to be naked for that?" asked Jak, intrigued.

Torn knew where Jak was going. "Only the model."

They both laughed.

Jak rested his hand on the table again. He looked at Torn's hand, already placed opposite his. There was a little crackle of energy between them. Jak felt the slightest tug to make the first move and place his hand over Torn's. Would that be all right, here, this soon?

Torn and Jak both had their reasons for keeping their relationship private in the past. Torn's job was in jeopardy. Jak couldn't bear the media attention, let alone want to force that upon Torn. Their relationship was strictly physical at that point too. It was a little too much of a scandal. But none of that mattered now. They both resigned from their jobs. Jak wasn't quite the spectacle he used to be.

They were two ordinary people on a date. Their first date. That was all. Jak took his hand and cautiously set his fingers over Torn's.

Torn's brows jumped at the contact. He looked over at Jak's fingertips just barely brushing his. At first, Torn thought he'd done it by accident. But that sly half-smile mirroring Torn's told him otherwise. Torn quickly glanced around the room. No one was paying attention, and who cared if they were? Torn turned his hand over and drew Jak's fingers over his palm.

There they were, holding hands at a restaurant. Just an ordinary couple. It was nice.

Once dinner was over, Torn paid the check. He was the one who was gainfully employed, after all. Jak was perfectly content to split, but Torn insisted. It was his welcome home present.

Jak stepped out of the restaurant into the cool evening breeze. The sun had already started to set. Streetlights were flickering on. Torn emerged behind him, buttoning his coat. The city bustled around them while they stood there silent, waiting for the other to decide the next move. They could call it there and go their separate ways, but Jak still bore the weight of everything left unsaid. He didn't want to wait for next time, yet he still wasn't quite ready.

"Wanna grab some ice cream?" Jak offered. He quickly added, "I'm paying."

Torn said yes. He didn't want the night to be over either.

Jak led Torn across the street to an ice cream parlor that opened after the war. The sign out front was of a happy cartoon yakow holding an ice cream cone. A couple heads turned when Jak entered. Jak ignored them, although Torn couldn't help but notice. If Jak didn't mind, Torn decided not to care. They ordered and paid, then left with their dessert. Torn shot their onlookers an annoyed look on the way out.

Torn found a nice spot in the park for them to sit and watch the sunset. It was secluded by the long branches of a pair of willow trees, so there wouldn't prying eyes. They sat there in silence, which was initially pleasant. The silence dragged on a bit too long for Torn's taste. He noticed Jak had already finished his cone and was now staring blankly at the pond nearby.

“So, when are we gonna talk about it?” Torn asked, shifting the tone. "It doesn't have to be now, but I'm not gonna pretend I'm not worried."

Jak let out a long breath. Of course, Torn couldn't leave it alone. “The party at Daxter’s? What about it? Like you said, I was drunk. It's not a big deal.”

“I don’t care about that. You looked miserable, like seeing me was the cherry on top of a massive shit sundae."

Jak was glad he had already finished his ice cream when Torn conjured that image. He continued deflecting. “I had a long trip. I was dead tired. Suddenly, all these people were there wanting to buy me drinks. Half of what you saw was just exhaustion.”

“When I put you to bed, you seemed upset."

“I was embarrassed. I wanted to be put together when you saw me again.”

“Why's that important?” Jak took a while to answer, so Torn added, "I've seen you and Daxter walk into the bunker covered in motor oil, sewage, and Metal Head blood. You don't have to impress me."

Jak scoffed. "Says the guy in the designer suit."

Torn checked the label. "Who said it was designer? Point is, you won me over a long time ago. You know that."

There was no winning with Torn. His fingers brushed Jak's as he looked at Jak imploringly. Jak didn't know if he was being romanced or interrogated. Jak sat passively as Torn slid his fingers over Jak's knuckles and took hold of his hand.

“Look, the trip took a lot out of me," said Jak, not quite reciprocating Torn's touch. "There are things to talk about, but I don’t want to do it here. Maybe tomorrow. I don't know. Right now, I just want to sit here with you. Is that okay?"

Torn just nodded and turned back to the sunset. He released Jak's hand and set his arm on the back of their bench, not quite over Jak's shoulders. Jak stared at the shimmering water while Torn finished his treat in silence. Not long after, Torn walked Jak back to the parking lot where Jak had left his zoomer.

Jak held his helmet, which was fastened securely at the handles. He didn't like wearing it, but he needed to set a good example for the kids who looked up to him. He looked at his reflection in the visor, then at Torn's. Torn's smile disappeared while Jak wasn't watching. He looked like a lost crocodog pup. Jak couldn't leave him that way.

"So, I'll see you later then?" Torn asked, standing some distance away.

Jak thought for a moment, staring pensively at himself. He bit his lip, considering his options.

Torn leaned in, wondering why Jak was taking so long to respond. "Hey, everything okay?"

Jak walked back to Torn and pulled him into a kiss. Torn, surprised by the sudden affection, took a moment to respond. Jak released him, but Torn dove in for another. He pulled Jak up until his heels were off the ground. Jak let out a little moan. Just touching Torn again set his whole body alight with tingles.

"I'm sorry," said Jak when their lips parted. "You deserve so much more than I'm giving you right now. You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I've been thinking about you nonstop. I just want to go back to how things were before I left."

Torn leaned back to get a full view of Jak's face. "Before or after that night on the roof?"

Jak had to think. Before, there had been a lot of sex. After, there had been a lot of feelings. "Both, I guess. Or maybe something different. But I want it to be you and me here right now and not somewhere else."

"Sure," said Torn, holding Jak by the waist. He looked around. "Although I don't know what else there is to do around here."

"I didn't mean here here."

Torn's hands on his hips and Jak's hands on Torn's chest were giving Jak ideas. He knew he might be pushing his luck. And even if he wasn't, it still might not be the best idea. Jak's intuition told him to wait, but he hadn't felt like he'd come home until he was standing in Torn's arms.

"I have an idea, if you're feeling up to it," said Jak, reeling Torn in by his collar.

Torn let himself get pulled. "Sure. What were you thinking?"

Jak shrugged his shoulders, trying to be coy. "I thought maybe… we could go back to your place.”

Torn licked his lips. He laughed and looked away. “You think you're real slick, don't you? I don’t know. I don’t usually fuck on the first date.”

Jak tucked his chin and brought their faces inches apart. "Jackass," Jak whispered, before taking Torn's lips again.

Before Jak knew it, he and Torn were flying over the canals separating them from the seclusion of Torn's apartment. They dismounted in the parking garage. Jak quickly glanced around and dropped all pretense. He pushed Torn against the concrete wall.

“I missed you,” Jak whispered in between fevered kisses.

“Missed you too,” said Torn, holding Jak back by the hair and jaw. Between their smashed lips, Torn mumbled again, “Missed you so much.”

"So we're doing this?” Jak said as Torn felt for his keys.

Torn looked down and chuckled, finding the right key. “You know, one of these days I’m gonna learn how to say no to you.”

“Not today though.” Jak grabbed Torn’s collar and pulled him into yet another kiss.

They could hardly keep their hands off each other as they hurried upstairs. They fumbled together the whole way up, pausing only when they heard footsteps from Torn’s neighbors. They fell through the door together and wound up making out on the carpet, all the while murmuring things like “You smell so good” and “I forgot how good your lips taste.”

Torn pulled back, looking at himself and Jak sprawled out on the floor. They were acting like a couple of caracats in heat. It was comical how desperate they were for each other. “So, did you want to do this right here? I got a new bed while you were gone. We could break it in.”

“Or we could just break it,” said Jak, sitting up to wipe his mouth. He scooted forward and wrapped his legs around Torn’s waist.

Torn took that his cue to lift Jak up and carry him again.

Jak stifled a yelp and held him tighter. “You did that a lot easier than last time. Have you been working out?”

“Maybe,” said Torn. He bounced Jak against his hips with his arms.

Jak bit his lip hungrily. He slid his hand underneath Torn's collar, prying open his shirt. “I thought your clothes were looking a little tight. Am I gonna get to see?”

“Yeah, unless you want me to fuck you with my clothes on.”

Jak pretended to mull it over. “Maybe some other time.”

Torn kicked open the door to his room and set Jak gently on the bed. Jak felt the new mattress mold around his body. Moving in with Torn became a much more tempting idea. The idea was all but forgotten when Torn lifted his shirt, revealing a set of freshly chiseled abdominal muscles. It was like seeing Torn without his clothes for the first time. A truly revelatory experience. Any lingering worry fled Jak's mind. This was going to be fun.

And it was. Torn knew exactly how to touch Jak to drive him absolutely crazy. They'd both been starving for each other, and it showed in every needy kiss. Lost in the ridges of Torn's muscled body, Jak forgot everything else. The voices of doubt and despair were drowned out by each hitch of Torn's breath. Jak had a mission again - to make Torn's toes curl. Over, and over, and over.

With a curse and a growl that surely woke the neighbors, Jak's mission was accomplished. He enjoyed the familiar feeling of shuffling off Torn's body and flopping beside him on the bed. He gathered his breath and turned over on his side, where Torn lied just as breathless.

"You're getting pretty good at that," said Torn finally, still panting. "You been practicing or something?"

"I had a good teacher," Jak returned, pecking the corner of Torn's mouth.

Torn looked at his stomach and groaned. He carefully got up and returned, wiping his abs down with a towel. He climbed back into bed and cleaned Jak as well. Then he tossed the soiled rag in the hamper.

Jak let out a contented sigh as Torn reclined beside him. He rested his head on Torn's shoulder. They lied naked in comfortable silence together. Jak traced the tattoos on Torn's thigh with his fingers. For a moment, all was right with the world.

Torn copied Jak's sigh and set his arm around Jak's shoulders. He breathed in the scent of Jak's hair. Jak always smelled like a warm breeze off the ocean. Torn ran his other hand along Jak's arm, feeling the tan skin that covered his muscles.

"Your hands aren't as rough as they used to be," Jak observed. "You been using lotion or something?"

"Tess gave it to me," said Torn, intertwining their fingers. "What do you think?"

Jak hummed ambivalently as he pressed their palms together. "I kinda miss the callouses. Is that weird?"

"I'll add that to your list of kinks," Torn teased, kissing Jak's temple. "Right next to domination and hair-pulling."

Jak snorted a laugh and turned away, letting Torn close the gap and spoon him. "Shut up."

"I'm glad you're back," said Torn. He kissed Jak's neck. "Things haven't been the same without you."

Jak didn't respond beyond a sleepy, "Mm-hmm... me too."

Torn hesitated for a moment, then said, “So, when are you gonna tell me what happened out there?”

Jak tensed in his arms. He rolled back over, unamused. "You thought I might talk after I was nice and fucked out? You know sex just makes me sleepy." Jak faked a yawn and began rolling back again.

Torn held his shoulder. “You haven’t even told me where all you went. The only thing Daxter would tell me was that, wherever you were, you were okay. Tell me something. Please."

Jak sighed against Torn’s chest. He knew he’d have to tell Torn at some point. He readjusted himself and lied flat against the bed. Where to even begin?

“You caught me in a good mood, so... I was on the boat for about three days,” Jak started, tracing a lazy circle on Torn’s sparse chest hair. “I was going stir-crazy by the time we reached Solanis. I had no idea where I'd be going or what I was going to find. And you and I had both said what we said. All of that was new and scary.”

“I’ll bet,” said Torn gently.

Torn reached over and stroked Jak’s weary head. His hand brushed Jak’s ear. Jak shivered. He sat up on the side of the bed. Touching Torn was too much now, even though he’d been clutching him for dear life moments prior.

“Solanis was nice,” Jak continued, staring out the door. Through Torn’s high window, he could see all the way to the harbor. “It was quiet, kinda touristy. It reminded me of Sandover a little bit. Bigger. And more expensive. I found an inn to stay at where I could keep a low profile. Nobody really recognized me there anyway.”

Jak turned back around and caught Torn staring. Torn quickly smiled and Jak tried to smile back. Jak’s ocean blue eyes met Torn’s stormy gray ones. They both had a sense of sadness in their eyes. There was also a glimmer of joy now they were together again. Jak lied face down on the bed, his bare ass in the air. He got cozy and continued his story.

“I spent the first day just getting to know the area,” said Jak. “Bought some supplies, caught a few rays. I called Daxter to let him know I made it. I thought about calling you, but I swore I wasn’t going to let myself get distracted. I thought about you a lot though. Especially in the shower.”

“Horny bastard,” Torn muttered. He tried not to let Jak see him laugh.

“I told you I missed you,” Jak said, playfully wiggling his ass.

Torn reached over and gave Jak a firm smack on the rear. “Are you gonna finish your story or are you just trying to get me riled up for round two?”

Jak massaged his reddening butt cheek. “I can do both.” Torn’s stern stare told Jak that he didn’t want to be tormented while Jak regaled him with his exploits. “Okay, buzzkill. I’ll get on with it.”

“The next day, I slept in till like noon. That was nice. I didn’t get to do that much in the Freedom League – or any time before that really. After I had breakfast – and I will circle back to the food - I set out to find Damas and Mera’s old cabin. Ashelin gave me the address.

“It wasn’t hard to locate. The second I got to the place, I knew she wasn’t there. It was private, but not that private. If she was hiding, it had to be somewhere else. I asked this guy trimming some shrubs if I could take a look around, but he worked for the people next door. He said no one had been on the property in years. By the looks of things, he was telling the truth.”

Jak was starting to get cold lying in the nude like that. It wasn’t fun if he couldn’t tempt Torn. He dug around in Torn’s dresser for a pair of sweats and put them on. Then he found the shirt he left behind at Torn’s while he was staying there the first time. Things were a lot more platonic back then.

“You kept my shirt?” Jak asked, holding it out.

“You stole my book,” Torn returned. “Least I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Jak shrank. Torn could have hit himself. Here Jak was trying to be sentimental and Torn ruined it by getting defensive.

“I forgot about it for a while,” Torn added, trying to dig himself out. “I meant to give it back to you. Then when I heard you might be leaving, I decided I might hold onto it.”

“Really?” said Jak, pressing the weathered old shirt to his chest.

Torn could hardly look him in the eye. “I wanted something to remember you by other than bite marks and the hair you left in my drain.”

Jak let Torn have his joke. He knew Torn wasn’t great with emotions. They had that in common. Fortunately, one of them tended to be more in tune than the other usually. They balanced out.

“Do you… want to hold onto it?” Jak asked, suppressing a smile.

“Are you planning on leaving again?” There wasn’t any humor in Torn’s voice.

Jak answered his question by pulling his shirt back over his head. He came back around and sat next to Torn on the bed. “I can’t go anywhere now. Not while I’m borrowing your shirt.”

That was so cheesy, Torn nearly kicked Jak out of bed. But he didn’t. He just let Jak continue on with his story and let his head fall onto Jak’s shoulder.

"Where was I? Right. I started in Solanis Village. That led me to Terra Luna, then to Port Pescerton. I wound up in this artists’ colony called Kunstite Hollow. You might have liked it. The Avis Wildlife Sanctuary, Port Pescerton again… Zephyr City, the monastery in Ishtareg… I know I’m forgetting something.”

“That’s a lot,” said Torn, running the names of Jak’s destinations back through his brain. “No wonder you’re tired.”

"Mom really got around after Haven. I saw a lot of cool stuff, met some nice people. Had a lot of great food. It would have been a good trip if I wasn't so freaked. I feel like I started really reconnecting with myself for a while.”

“What made you decide to head home? I assume you didn’t find her, or else you would have said so.”

“My trail dried up in Marino Village,” Jak said soberly. “Which is ironic because it’s partially underwater. They restored an old Precursor city like the one near Rock Village. They’d been hiding from the Metal Heads down there for ages.”

“Did you find out anything?”

All light left Jak's eyes. “Not much. Only that, a few years back, the Krimzon Guard came through and swept the area. They were there on Praxis's orders, looking for Mera. I backtracked and checked other places. There had been other KG raids about the same time. I don't know why they stopped searching. Well, I might."

Jak hung his head. He crossed his arms, shrinking up into a ball. Torn sat silently, still naked, and searched himself for any comforting words. He came up empty.

"I knew she might not be alive. I prepared myself for pretty much every outcome. Except this. Now what am I supposed to do?" Jak asked. He didn't expect Torn to have suggestions.

“You did your best. I'm sorry.”

Jak shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Torn hesitated. He wasn’t great at offering comfort, but if he couldn’t comfort Jak, what good was he? Unsure if he was doing the right thing, Torn scooted closer and draped his arm around Jak’s shoulders. Jak initially bristled but he quickly sank into Torn.

“What if they found her? What would they do?”

“Not sure. According to Praxis, she was sentenced to die out in the Wasteland with your dad. He wouldn’t bring her back to town if it meant exposing that she escaped during the coup.”

“You think they killed her?”

“Or they just gave up," said Torn. "The Freedom League seized the KG database when Ashelin took power. If they did some covert ops mission to find the queen, it would be in there. They only just started decrypting the files before you left. I can pull some strings, get you access. Lieutenant Reid owes me one.”

Jak pulled himself up and looked down at Torn. "You'd really do that?"

"It's worth a shot."

Chapter Text

Days after their big date, Jak met Torn outside Freedom Headquarters. He had hoped never to set foot in that building again, but hopefully something good would come of it. They exchanged pleasantries. It was their first time meeting since their reunion.

Jak went in for a hug. Torn went in for a kiss. They both retreated, awkwardly scratching their heads.

The glass doors slid open. On the other side stood a man in a blue uniform identical to the one Torn used to wear. It was the newly promoted Commander Ried.

"Gentlemen," Ried addressed them, noting their close stance. "It's good to see you both again. Mr. Rovia tells me you need a favor."

Jak followed Ried into the building, followed closely by Torn. The employees stopped and stared when Jak and Torn passed by. They were still feared and respected, whether they liked it or not. Ried escorted them upstairs to his office, formerly held by Torn.

"So, what can I do for you?" said Ried, once they were seated at his desk.

"It's weird sitting on the other side of this thing," Torn remarked.

Jak looked behind him. He remembered exactly where he stood when he talked Torn into spending the night with him. How desperate he was. How quickly Torn broke. If he didn't stop thinking about it, he was bound to get aroused.

"It's a long story," Torn began, noting Jak's quietness. "Without getting into the details, we need access to the old KG database. It's important."

Commander Ried paused and thought. "I want to help. I wouldn't be here without either of you. But, as Commander, I'm gonna need a bit more information."

Jak and Torn exchanged looks. Jak didn't want anyone else knowing Queen Mera might be alive. Torn thought of how he might phrase his request to keep that hidden.

"As you're now aware, Jak is the son of King Damas and Queen Mera. He would like access to any records the KG kept on the coup and their executions."

Jak was happy with that description. Commander Ried grimaced. Why would Jak want records on a grisly thing like that? Jak hoped he wouldn't ask more questions.

"Mera wasn't in the Wasteland when I got there," said Jak. "I'm hoping I might get some closure if I see the files."

Commander Ried considered this. He began to nod. "I think we can make that happen," he said. "I doubt there would be any harm. However, I don't think you'll find anything you don't already know."

Jak and Torn let him think that. Ried sent a message to the records department to give them full access to the old database. It was their reward for honorable service. They departed his office and made for the elevator.

Once inside, Jak whispered, "I should have fucked you on that desk while I had the chance."

Torn choked. "Is that all you can think about right now?"

Jak responded by pinching Torn's butt just as the elevator doors opened. Torn herded Jak onto the lower level, which was full of busy analysts and bureaucrats. They walked down the illuminated hallway to the records facility, which was guarded by a glass wall.

A page from the department rang them in. Upon entering, Jak and Torn were surrounded by computers and blinking lights. They heard the purr of hundreds of fans and drives. The air positively sizzled with blue eco.

"Welcome to the Virtual Intelligence Network," said the woman out front. "Mr. Rovia. Mr. Retter. Commander Ried said you were on your way."

"Are you who we're supposed to meet?" Jak asked. He didn't even recognize her.

The woman shook her head. "No, you'll be meeting with the network head. He'll be here any second." She left them to stand around the atrium.

Suddenly, a Krimzon Guard death bot came speeding down the adjacent hallway. It rounded the corner toward them. Neither Jak nor Torn was armed. Jak quickly shielded Torn with his body and prepared to go dark. Just as Jak’s eyes were turning black, the robot skidded to a stop. Its head flipped over, revealing a small hologram projector. Atop its shoulders sat a familiar glowing face.

“Jak! Torn!” Vin exclaimed. "It's so good to see you!"

Jak’s eyes reverted to their usual blue.

“You said you were gonna come see me after the war ended!" said Vin, his mechanical arms planting themselves on his hips. "I was alone in that power station for 8 months, 2 weeks, 5 days, 7 hours, 13 minutes, and 27 seconds! I counted!”

Jak sucked his teeth. “Sorry about that. We got a little distracted.”

Vin wagged a metal finger at him. “Oh yeah, I saw your big race in Kras City. People were streaming it all over Haven. I also caught you at the Capitol and on Pecker’s show. Seems like you've been busy.”

“You can say that again. Glad I don’t need to catch you up.”

“When you’re a sentient computer program, you don’t have much to do besides absorb all the information that passes through the network. And, boy, there has been a lot of new information lately! My processors can hardly keep up!”

Jak and Torn followed Vin through the building. Jak watched Vin's wheels glide across the floor more gracefully than his feet could ever carry him.

“We heard about your new job," said Jak, keeping the conversation moving. "Keira and Soren said they got you safely moved over here. You're the head of the Virtual Intelligence Network?”

“I am the Virtual Intelligence Network! The Freedom League has me processing all the recovered data from the Palace and Krimzon Guard HQ. It’s a big project and none of the meatbags around here have time for it. Lucky for them, I’ve got all the time in the world!”

“Are they paying you?” Jak asked, wondering how one would pay an artificial intelligence and what one might use money for.

“Well, they gave me this new body and all the blue eco I can eat! Plus, I finally have people to talk to while I unravel the secrets of the universe. It's not such a bad gig.”

Torn stepped in before Vin could go on a tangent. “How far along are you on that project?”

"Straight to the point as usual," said Vin. He cocked his floating head and thought. “Right now I’m only 384 terabytes in. It’s gonna take me at least another 78 days, 12 hours, 57 minutes, and 3 seconds to finish. Make that 132 days. Wait, no. 537 days. 1,358 days.”

Jak’s face fell. His hope was waning. Torn kept at it. “We’re looking for files on Queen Mera. Anything after the Praxis coup.”

“Why do you need files on her? Didn’t she get sent to the Wasteland?” Vin asked more loudly than they would have liked.

Torn guided Vin to a less occupied room. In hushed tones, he explained, “The Baron lied. The Queen escaped before the final phase of the coup."

Jak shut the door behind them. “She’s my mom."

Vin's body made a whirring sound. A light flashed near his head. “Of course! If King Damas was your father, Queen Mera would have to be your mother. I don’t know why that didn’t occur to me.”

“Yeah, well, seems like a lot of people forgot about her,” Jak said bitterly.

“Anything that important is bound to be encrypted. I don't think I've found anything on the Queen so far, but I'll let you know when I do.”

"How long is going to take to decrypt those files?" asked Torn.

Vin did another calculation. "Another 37 days, 22 hours, 49 minutes, and 6 seconds. Scratch that. Make that 47 days-"

"Just call us when it's done."

Chapter Text

My Hometown – While VIN decrypts the KG files, Jak visits the New Sandover project with Daxter and Keira. It’s far from finished, but the water is cleaner. The ruins are completely gone. An artificially constructed beachside connects to the old pumping station. Keira invites Jak to Haven Forest, where she and Soren are going to scatter the composted remains of Samos, who passed away while Jak was absent.

Roots Before Branches – Torn accompanies Jak to the memorial in Haven Forest. Jak has mixed emotions as he listens to Soren read the eulogy that Keira wrote. Samos was directly responsible for many of the hardships in Jak’s life, but he was also the closest thing Jak had to an actual father figure. Torn notices Jak’s depressed mood and invites him back to the Lurker village to see the progress.

Under Pressure – Torn shows Jak around the camp. Jak covertly asks Elder Ludo how well he thinks the project is going. Ludo confides that living conditions are improving, but some of the workers are clearly less than thrilled to be helping Lurkers. Jak sits in on a briefing, intentionally intimidating the workers into caring. To drive things home, Jak lets an insubordinate worker catch him making out with Torn. The next day, Torn notices that he’s obeying orders a lot more.

Sunshine on My Shoulders – On a day off, Jak takes Torn back to the lagoon. They have sex by the water. They lie in the sun and discuss their relationship and their future. Torn thinks Jak would do good work staying in Haven and helping the Lurkers directly. Jak isn’t sure. When they get back to camp, Torn gets a message from VIN. The results are in. They return to Freedom HQ to get VIN’s report.

On the Road Again – VIN informs Jak that the KG gave up the search for Mera in Kras City. There’s no evidence to support that she is either dead or alive. Unlike before, Jak accepts Ashelin’s offer of help to get there. He takes a Freedom League helicarrier. Torn goes with him for moral support.

Smooth Criminal – They search for clues in Mera’s last supposed location, a motel near the racetrack. They visit a nearby bar and see Razer, who shamelessly flirts with them both. In their hotel room, Torn admits that he slept with Razer before Jak’s big race. Jak, feeling strangely hurt, encounters Razer back at the bar.

They talk about the championship that Jak narrowly won. Jak expresses sadness that Torn wasn’t confident he would win, so much so that he went home with the enemy. A few drinks later, he divulges the situation with his mother. Razer tells him about a person in Kras who helps people “disappear.” He could connect them if Jak wanted. He gives Jak his room key and asks him to think about it.

Wicked Game – Jak returns to his room and tells Torn what Razer said. Torn is angry that Razer propositioned him. Jak tells him to stop being so territorial. Together, they go to Razer’s room to discuss terms. Razer offers them a drink. Sensing their hesitation, Razer switches his glass for Jak’s and drinks it. "What kind of monster do you take me for?" he asks. Torn tries to keep the conversation on Razer’s underworld contacts, offering him money and other non-sexual bribes for his assistance.

Through innuendo and body language, Razer makes it clear that he only wants one thing. With a smirk and a shrug, Jak tells Torn that he's into it. Torn is initially aghast, but Jak reminds him that, according to Torn, Razer was a great lay. Torn agrees to the threesome, under the pretense of getting the information they need.

Have You Seen Her Face? – After a fun night with Razer, Jak and Torn have trouble looking each other in the eye the next morning. Over a nice breakfast, Razer tells them all about his friend, a woman named Rita. She makes fake documents for people looking to disappear and start their lives over.

At her office, Jak and Torn explain their situation, describing Mera’s appearance and approximate time she would have seen her. Rita makes a call to an associate, a plastic surgeon named Tuck. Tuck remembers Mera based solely on her resemblance to Jak. Together, Rita and Tuck pull up Mera’s information. She’d been accompanied to her surgery by a woman named Gwynn.

The Winner Takes It All – Over lunch, Jak and Torn puzzle out how to locate Gwynn. Turns out, Gwynn owns a popular zoomer bar on the outskirts of town. The patrons recognize Jak from the Kras City Grand Prix. Gwynn pretends not to know the name Mera. Jak challenges to her a race. If Jak wins, she’ll tell him what he wants to know. To save face in front of her patrons, Gwynn accepts. Jak wins.

Gwynn sits down with Jak and Torn after closing and reluctantly divulges where Mera was going. She planned to get as far from Haven as humanly possible, a town called Precipice Village. When asked how to get there, Gwynn tells them to fly until they reach the crater called Creation’s Edge. Mera will be sporting darker hair, shorter ears, and more delicate features than Jak's.

My Mother’s Eyes – With Gwynn’s directions, Jak and Torn fly to Creation’s Edge. The search isn’t easy. Eventually, they encounter a woman named Juno with green roots and blue eyes much like Jak’s. When asked, Juno says she has only lived in Precipice Village for a few years. After losing her husband and child, she needed a place to start over. Jak is almost certain this is Mera.

Jak makes multiple visits to Juno’s apothecary. Initially, she assumes that Jak (only ten or so years her junior) is romantically interested in her and lets the young man down easy. Jak suppresses his disgust at the idea. He reveals that he has a boyfriend (implying that he is gay rather than bisexual.) When asked what his business is in town, Jak reveals that he is looking for his mother. Juno agrees to help him.

She's Not There – Over coffee, Jak describes to Juno what his mother looks like and what supposedly happened to her. He gauges her reaction and slowly introduces more specific details - the Praxis coup, his illness as a baby, a family friend named Vesta who attempted to help them. When Jak gives her Mera’s name, Juno quickly concludes their meeting and leaves. When Jak returns to her shop, it is closed. Outraged at what she sees as a cruel joke, Juno throws him out.

Torn arrives later that evening to speak with her. Juno is hastily packing her things to flee. When she sees Torn’s KG tattoos, she puts her hands in the air and prepares for arrest or death. Torn tells her that he’s with Jak, and then he gives her Ashelin’s letter. Juno reads it and then politely asks Torn to leave.

The next day, Juno summons Jak for lunch on her terms. She admits that she is Mera Retter, former Queen of Haven City. Using a birthmark on the back of Jak’s head, Mera verifies that Jak’s story is true. She drops her shears in shock. Unable to speak, she runs away. One of her employees at her shop escorts Jak from the premises.

Sweet Child of Mine – The next day, Mera apologies for fleeing. She asks Jak to make sense of the situation. Jak explains it as best as he can. Mera asks him for time to think. The day after, Mera asks to speak with Ashelin over their communicator. Ashelin confirms Jak’s story, as well as the news that the Baron’s regime has been toppled. Mera is safe to return if she wants. Mera declines.

Finally accepting the reality of the situation, Mera bursts into tears and embraces Jak. She begs forgiveness for failing to get him out of Haven. Jak begins crying too. Torn leaves mother and son alone.

Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For – Mera invites Jak for a walk along Creation’s Edge. They discuss the future, what they want their lives to be. Mera is unsure if she’s able to be a mother to him. Jak confides that he wasn’t so much looking for a mother. He hoped meeting her would bring some clarity about his own life. The only thing he’s sure of is his love for Torn, but even that feels shaky.

Mera tells him that she didn’t really know who she was until she left Haven, but she also lost those she loved in the process. When she married Damas, she only knew her duties. Having dreams of her own weren’t important. Her family, her husband, and the public at large shaped her identity. Running away, as scary and grief-stricken as it was, set her free. They stare into the abyss beyond Creation’s Edge and ponder all its possibilities. Jak remembers wanting to be an explorer. Mera thinks that’s a marvelous idea.

I Will Always Love You – Back home, Jak decides that he wants to go to school outside of Haven. He thinks he might want to be an explorer after all, maybe exploring the secrets beyond Creation’s Edge. Torn is conflicted, but he wants Jak to be happy. Torn stays in Haven to continue aiding the Lurkers and the reconstruction. They agree to keep their long-distance relationship open, although Torn doesn’t want anyone else.

When Jak returns for the Feast of Mar, they reevaluate their relationship. Their lives are going in different directions. After making love one last time, they break up.

You and I - Years later, Jak returns to Haven for a racing championship. Being an explorer didn’t work out, but after a brief stint as a “hero for hire” to make ends meet, he’s now making a killing as a racer. He finds Torn in New Sandover, now wearing glasses and making a humble living as an artist. At his home, Jak sees an old fitness magazine in which he did a risqué photoshoot. Torn is embarrassed to have it. Jak signs it.

After dinner and drinks, it doesn’t take long for them to hit the bedroom. They’re both single and they both still have feelings for each other. More importantly, they’ve both figured out where they want to be in life. The only thing missing is each other. They agree to try again.

Alone, Torn pulls a small box out of his nightstand. To the ring inside, he says, “Maybe I’ll get some use out of you after all.”