Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Soldier Field.

December 4, 2014.

Cold. As. Fuck.

Mackenzie shivered in her light blanket, wrapping it tighter around her as her teeth chattered. Even down here on the lowest level, she was freezing her ass off. Literally! She must have shivered away the two beers and pizza slices she’d consumed earlier – and then some! She looked over at the seat next to her, noticing it was still empty. She eyed it greedily. It was next to a wall, and if she could just scoot over at least the wind would be broken on that side. She looked around once more before making the decision to do it. Fuck it. They should be here already, whoever they were!

She grabbed her coffee and scooted over, sighing in relief as she felt the wind calm down with the wall next to her. With some semblance of comfort back, she turned her attention back to the game, her heart beating fast as her Dallas Cowboys made their way out on to the field. She began screaming, not giving a fuck that she was a Cowboys fan decked out in silver and blue and surrounded by angry, jeering Bears fans. She could hear them booing and it only encouraged her to scream louder, to drop her blanket and wave her towel around in the air. She'd finally broken up with her asshole boyfriend, and this time she felt good about it, with this game being a last minute reward for dumping his cheating ass once and for all.  She was on a business conference in Chicago, and everything had aligned perfectly, and here she was.  She was so damn happy right now –even though she was freezing her ass off and surrounded by Bears fans!

“Oh this is rich!” a deep voice called to her, the sound close to her ear. Mackenzie turned around, narrowing her eyes at who would dare get so close to her. Fucking Bears fan!! No fucking way. It couldn't be, she argued with herself.  She dropped her coffee, the hot liquid splashing up, but thankfully not too much as her cup was nearly empty. She clapped her hand to her mouth in embarrassment as she bent over to pick up the offending coffee cup, her eyes bugging when she saw the man had coffee on his jeans. He glared at her as he pulled his shades off, and Mackenzie freaked out, not quite believing her eyes. No fucking way.....  The blue eyes, the thick, curly brown hair peeking out from his beanie. The damn cheeks, combined with that deep voice. Yep, it was definitely him.

Eddie fucking Vedder.

Standing right next to her at a Chicago game. She would know the Pearl Jam front man anywhere, having been a fan for a very long time. How was it possible that he was hotter in person?

“Oh God! I am so, so sorry, Mr. Vedder!” Mackenzie began, her hands flailing about as she tried to figure out how to make the mess better.

“Are you in my seat?” Eddie asked her as he looked down at his ticket and back up to her. Mackenzie’s eyes got even huger, her shock growing as she realized that not only was he standing next to her, but he was going to be sitting next to her and she was currently hogging his seat! Fuckity fuck! She scrambled out of the seat and back into her own, pulling all of her stuff in as close as possible.

“You think you got enough shit?” Eddie asked her, smirking at her as he did so. Mackenzie looked at him, her earlier awe at sitting next to Eddie being quickly eroded by his asshole-ish attitude. There was no need to be so fucking rude!

“Are you going to be a prick the whole game?” Mackenzie challenged him. To her annoyance, Eddie grinned, that fucking dimple appearing and weakening her knees even as she was pissed at him.

“Ah! There’s the Dallas fan I know and hate!” Eddie laughed again and turned to the game. Mackenzie did the same.  As hot as he was, and as much as she loved Pearl Jam, a Dallas-Chicago game was not where she wanted to meet him!

It was nearing halftime, and Dallas was up by 7, leading 14 to 7. Eddie was highly pissed and Mackenzie was incredibly happy. They’d barely spoken to each other the entire game, only cursing out loud when something didn’t go their way. Dallas looked damn good today! The time ran out and the halftime show started, and Mackenzie started packing up her things to head to the concession area to get some more coffee when Eddie decided to speak to her again.

“You’ve got a lot of balls, you know.”

Mackenzie rolled her eyes at him. “Actually, I am a girl, so I don’t have any balls.”

“What a waste…”  Eddie grinned at her again, and Mackenzie wanted to punch him, right in his perfect damn face.

Mackenzie glared at him again, her hands on hips even as her teeth chattered in the cold. How she wished she had a fucking hat, or something other than the thin hood on her sweatshirt. 

“What does that mean, a waste?” Her eyes were watering in the biting cold and her lips were becoming numb. She was so not used to this weather!!

“It means you’re too pretty to be a cowgirls fan,” Eddie said, winking at her as he did so. He pulled his navy blue beanie off and put it on Mackenzie’s head, pulling it down over her ears. Mackenzie blinked at him in confusion, her anger warring with her surprise at his words and actions. She immediately felt warmer, and she wasn't sure if it was from the beanie or from Eddie grinning at her.

“You’re gonna freeze your ass off, babe. Wanna go get some coffee?” Eddie offered, jerking his head up at the concession area. Mackenzie was still dumbfounded, trying to catch up with the turn things had taken.

“I’m Eddie, by the way.” He held his hand out, the other shoved in his pocket. Mackenzie looked down at his hand and then back up at his face, still trying to figure him out. What the fuck was he playing at? Eddie shrugged and dropped his hand, although his grin was in place still.

“Suit yourself. I am going to get coffee and get warmed up a bit.” Eddie moved to walk past her and Mackenzie found her voice, causing Eddie to stop and turn back to her. 

“Okay. I’ll go get coffee, but why are you being so nice to me?” Mackenzie questioned him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Eddie laughed again as he pulled his hood over his head.

“Because when we come back out we’re gonna kick your ass and you’re gonna be sad!” He teased her, and Mackenzie relaxed a bit. Maybe he wasn’t such an asshole....

He reached over and tugged on her beanie, pushing an errant curl back up underneath it. “You look good in orange and blue,” he said, winking at her again. Mackenzie frowned again and pulled off the beanie, shivering as the cold air hit her bare head once again.

“I can’t wear this shit on my head!” She pushed the beanie back towards Eddie, but he shoved it back at her.

“You’re gonna freeze. Wear it. Nobody will say anything.” Eddie said, pulling the beanie back down on her head again. He’d pulled his shades back on, and with his hood on, he looked like any other Bears fan. “Come on. Before we get stuck in line.” He walked past her and held out his hand, and Mackenzie took it. In her Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt and Chicago Bears beanie, she took his hand and followed him up to the concession area. This day had definitely taken on a very weird turn.

Chapter Text

“Damn it,” Eddie muttered, casting a sideways glance at Mackenzie. She grinned at him, a huge shit-eating grin, and he sighed and closed his eyes in defeat.

“We won. So you owe me.” Mackenzie crowed, jumping up and down as the Cowboys made their way off the field.

It was a complete blowout, with the Cowboys winning 41 to 28.

“Fuck me,” Eddie moaned as he grabbed all of his and Mackenzie’s trash out of his seat and tossed it in the trash can. He turned back to Mackenzie and held his hand out again.

“You ready?” She nodded and took his hand, following him and the crowd up and out of the stands. Just before they made it to the parking lot, Eddie pulled her aside and over next to the wall and out of the wind so that they could talk.

“Did you drive?” He asked her, looking over her shoulder at the crowded parking lot.

“I have a rental, yeah.”

“So what do you want to do?” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked down at her. “Want to ride with me, and we’ll come get your car later? Or you want to follow me?”

“I’ll follow you, I think,” Mackenzie replied. She wasn’t about to get in his car. She barely knew him – even though he was Eddie Vedder! He nodded in agreement, and after walking Mackenzie to her car and giving her directions, they left and met up at a local restaurant.

After pulling into the restaurant parking lot, Eddie walked up to her door and opened it for her, but he cringed as she handed him his clothing for the night. He looked at her in annoyance.

“You really gonna make me wear this shit? In there?” Eddie asked. Mackenzie smiled up at him sweetly and patted his cheek.

“Yep. You made the bet, now pay up.”

“Fuck. Fine. Can I at least change inside? I don’t want to take my hoodie off out here.”

“Whatever you wanna do,” Mackenzie replied in that same sickeningly sweet tone. Eddie rolled his eyes at her, but offered his arm nonetheless and Mackenzie took it, sliding her arm around his as they walked into the restaurant. They found a seat in the back, as secluded as possible, and Eddie reluctantly took Mackenzie’s jersey to the bathroom with him so that he could change. She sat in the booth and fiddled with her phone, her mind going over the crazy events of the past few hours. At some point between when they had gone to get coffee at halftime, and the end of the game, she and Eddie had formed a truce and didn’t hate each other so much. While they still knew nothing about each other, they had a pretty good time together, screaming, laughing, and crying over their respective teams. It was during half-time that they had made the bet that to wear the jersey of the winning team, with Eddie wearing a Cowboys jersey and she wearing a Bears – depending on who won. Mackenzie giggled as Eddie walked out and headed to their table, his head ducked down low, and his beanie and shades still on. He slid in across from her, and looked up at her petulantly.

“You happy now?” He was so whiny and Mackenzie couldn’t contain her giggle. “I’m glad you think it’s so funny. This shit barely fits me!”

“Look at it this way, it showcases your muscles!” Eddie snorted and took a sip of his beer that the waitress had just brought out.  He let her know they needed more time to look at the menu, and she went on her way as Eddie grimaced at Mackenzie again.

“Flattery won’t work when I am wearing this shit, Mack.”

“Well I think it looks good on you,” Mackenzie replied. She was trying not to act too weird, to be cool around him, when she was the most uncool person you would ever meet. Never in a million years did she think she would not only be watching a game with Eddie Vedder, but now he was wearing her jersey and buying her dinner. She wanted to pinch herself, but thought that would be too weird. She busied herself with the menu instead, her cheeks heating as Eddie stared at her from across the table.

“What?” she asked him, unable to take his perusal any longer.

“A pretty girl who likes Dallas football but is all alone at a Bears game. What gives?” He leaned onto the table, his elbows propped up and chin in his palm. Mackenzie squirmed under his gaze. He had this way of looking at you that made you feel like he was looking into your soul. She didn’t know if she could lie to this man with a straight face. There was something so earnest about him, something so real, and she just couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Well you’re all alone, too,” she hedged, taking a long sip of her own beer and looking anywhere but at him.  Eddie grinned and leaned back against the seat.

“I’m a Bears fan, and I’m a dude, so going to games is pretty normal. I try to sneak in quite a bit.”

“So because I am a girl, I can’t sneak in?” Mackenzie argued with him, but Eddie only laughed.

“So defensive.” He opened his menu and looked up at her. “What are you having?”

Mackenzie sighed in relief, grateful for the change of conversation. Whether Eddie had done it on purpose or not, she was grateful for not having to talk about herself.

2 hours later and no subject was off the table. Mackenzie was toasted, having had a few shots of tequila along with her beer and she was spilling everything. Everything.  She leaned forward and pointed at Eddie, shot glass still in hand.

“And you know what else? That fucker had the nerve to call me a bitch and say it was my fault!” Mackenzie slurred out. Her head was spinning and she felt like the room was getting hotter by the minute. She looked around, her eyes barely held open. “Is it hot in here to you? It’s like a fucking desert, like the one in Canada.”

Eddie chuckled and took the shot glass out of her hand, much to Mackenzie’s dismay.

“Why you taking things from me, Edward?” Mackenzie mumbled, but her eyes were barely open now. The drunker she got, the more she called him Edward….

“I think you’ve had enough to drink, Mack.”

“You’re not my boss, Edward….” Mackenzie replied, drawing out his name as she laid her head down on the table and closed her eyes.  Eddie called for the check.

She floated in and out of consciousness as Eddie helped her to his car and drove her back to his hotel. She barely felt him carry her from the car to the elevator, and from the elevator to his room. He laid her on the couch gently, taking care to remove her boots and jacket. When he tried to pull her sweatshirt off, Mackenzie cracked open her eyes and wagged a finger at him slowly.

“Trying to disadvantage me, Edward?”

Eddie chuckled again, shaking his head at her but succeeding in pulling her sweatshirt over her head fairly easily. He laid her down gently on the couch, but she snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. He braced himself against the back of the couch as he tried to untangle her arms from around his neck. Mackenzie looked up at him, and he could see tears in her eyes, her lower lip trembling.

“You think I’m ugly, don’t you?” She blinked up at him, her brown eyes wet as a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. Eddie wiped the next tear away with his fingertip as he smiled down at her.  She was so cute right now.

“I think you are beautiful, Mackenzie.”

“Then why did you cheat on me?” Mackenzie stared up at him and Eddie knew she was no longer seeing him, but her asshole boyfriend.

He could feel his anger rising at this asshole that he’d never met. Mackenzie dropped one arm and wiped at her face, before closing her eyes and sucking in a shaky breath. He pulled Mackenzie’s other arm from around his neck and placed it on her chest, tucking her in as he covered her with the blanket. In the time it took to tuck the blanket under her feet, he heard her snoring softly, and he sat down on the edge of the couch and stared at her. Her delicately arched brows were pulled in together in a crease, and she was frowning, her dreams tormenting her it seemed. Eddie reached over and smoothed the crease out, and unable to help himself, kissed her on her forehead. He pressed his lips to her skin gently, inhaling her scent. She smelled of beer, and winter, and something sweet, maybe her shampoo but he thought he could smell vanilla. She was soft and warm, and she smelled so good. He wanted to crawl on the couch and lay down next to her, to wrap her in his arms and hug her to his chest, to chase all the monsters away, but he couldn’t. He pulled back with a sigh, pushing an auburn curl back off her forehead. With reluctance, he stood up and gave her one last look as he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the tension there. He leaned down and laid her cell phone on the coffee table so that she could easily find it and walked to his room. He'd figure all this shit out in the morning.

Chapter Text

Mackenzie leaned over the toilet, wishing and praying that she could vomit, but nothing came up. She had been sitting on the cool tile for over an hour, her head throbbing as the waves of nausea rolled over her. A knock came at the door and she winced, her headache threatening to bust her head wide open with the noise.

“Mack? You alright in there?” Eddie called from the other side of the door.

“No,” Mackenzie croaked. She fell back on the cool tile, pulling her shirt up and exposing her back and waist as she tried to cool off. She was burning up and shivering - all at the same time.  When would she ever learn that alcohol did not agree with her, and especially tequila??

Eddie opened the door and found her just like that, no pants on and her shirt pulled up underneath her breasts. He had to force himself to look away, feeling horrible about ogling her in this condition. She didn’t even look at him, her arm thrown over her eyes as she lay on his bathroom floor. He grabbed a rag, wet it, and knelt down beside her and pressed it to her forehead. She hissed as the cold rag touched her skin, and started shivering even more, goosebumps appearing all over.

“Hold this here, baby,” Eddie ordered, reaching for her hand and placing it on the rag to hold it in place. He stood up and grabbed one of the fluffy robes off the back of the bathroom door and knelt down again next to her.

“Mack…..babe…I’m gonna spread this robe out on the floor and then you can lay on it okay?” Eddie said softly, and Mackenzie grunted in reply. “You can’t lay on the cold floor, babe.”

“I need to take a shower,” Mackenzie mumbled.

“Can you do it on your own?” Eddie asked her as he leaned back on his heels and watched Mackenzie struggle to sit up. She finally managed to get upright, her legs out in front of her as she leaned forward. She was swaying and Eddie could see that she was getting sick again. He helped her over to the toilet, just making it in time as she finally vomited whatever she had left in her stomach. He held her hair for her, looking up at the ceiling with his eyes closed as he waited for her to finish. When she was done, she collapsed against the toilet, tears running down her face again. Eddie closed the lid and flushed the toilet, before looking at her with concern.

“Mackenzie? What’s the matter, babe?” Eddie asked her gently.

“I am so embarrassed,” she whispered, covering her entire face with the rag. Eddie leaned over and turned the shower on, checking it to make sure it was getting hot.

“We’ve all gotten fucked up, babe. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Now come on, I got the shower going for you.” He stood up and helped Mackenzie stand, holding her steady as she swayed on her feet. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay in here?”

“I’ll be fine,” she mumbled, but she fell forward, her forehead pressed to his chest. Eddie looked up at the ceiling, cursing everything and everyone for putting him in such a predicament. He was not the guy you called on when you needed this kind of help!

“Let me help you get undressed and in the shower, baby.”

Mackenzie snorted and pulled away from him, rocking back on her heels as her knees began to buckle. Eddie caught her just before she fell.

“I won’t look. I promise. Just let me help you in the shower, and then I’ll leave, okay?” Eddie coaxed her. He didn’t want her to fall in the shower and hit her head.

“I can do it,” Mackenzie argued weakly. She pulled her shirt up, only succeeding in getting it stuck on her head. She was simply too weak to pull it off and she dropped her head in defeat as tears of frustration threatened to overwhelm her. This was why she didn’t drink.  She got too moody, too emotional, and she couldn’t function worth a damn. She was still drunk now.

“I’m gonna close my eyes and help you get out of your clothes and into the shower, okay?” Eddie said, lifting the hem of her shirt as he spoke. Mackenzie didn’t fight back and went along with it, moving as he moved her and shifting when he turned her. When he had finished with her shirt, he swallowed hard, knowing what was next. Mackenzie was standing before him in nothing but a skimpy bra and even skimpier panties.

“Eddie?” Mackenzie said, her teeth chattering as she shook before him. She was pale, her eyes closed and her head bowed.

“Yeah….sorry…” Eddie replied, inwardly berating himself. Fuck man! Get your shit together!  He reached for her panties with trembling fingers.

“I’m gonna help you take your…..take these…..uhm….take your….underwear off.”

He could feel his face reddening as the words slipped out of his mouth. Fuck. As old as he was and he was still embarrassed as shit! He leaned down and pull her panties off, sliding them quickly down and off her legs. Just as quickly, he went behind her and undid her bra, pulling it off her as well.  She was such a tiny little thing, all skin and bones and fragile. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms, but he didn't dare touch her.

“Okay, let’s get you in the shower.”  He led her over to the shower, holding her by her arm as she stepped over the ledge and into the shower. Eddie adjusted the shower head so that it was aimed at her back, and Mackenzie sighed in relief.

“Are you good now?” Eddie asked her, his voice strained. He needed to get out of this fucking bathroom immediately. It was taking everything in him to not get undressed and crawl in the shower with her. Fuck!

“I think I’m okay, Eddie,” Mackenzie replied. She looked at Eddie now, and he could see that she was more alert, thankfully. “Can you go now, please?” Her voice was timid, and still weak, and Eddie could see she was embarrassed. Poor girl.

“I’ll be right outside if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay.” She pulled the shower door shut and Eddie picked up her clothing off the floor and piled it on the counter before walking out of the bathroom and back into the living room.

“Fuck, me,” he muttered under his breath as he plopped down on the couch. He needed a fucking cold shower.

Chapter Text

Mackenzie grabbed the hotel body wash and squirted some in her hands, rubbing it over her body as she tried to calm herself down. She still felt nauseous, but she didn’t feel like she was going to throw up anymore. What she felt now was complete and utter embarrassment. She had no idea how drunk she had gotten last night, but if earlier was any indication, it must have been pretty bad. She cringed thinking of what she may have said or done. Fuck. She barely knew Eddie. Well, she actually didn’t know him, other than his name and who he was, and here she was throwing up in his bathroom and sleeping in his hotel room.

And he’d undressed her to help her get in the shower. Fuck!

She closed her eyes in shame. How was she going to face him now? She couldn’t stay in this shower forever!

It was all Brian’s fault, that motherfucker. Her lips twisted as she angrily washed her hair, her thoughts returning to her asshole boyfriend. They’d broken up a few times due to his “alleged” cheating, and each time Mackenzie had taken him back, each time believing him rather than what was right in under her nose. This last time was the final straw, and she simply couldn’t ignore it anymore. He’d actually gotten a girl pregnant, and Mackenzie was heartbroken. She’d wanted children so badly, and they’d spoken about it, but Brian had always insisted that the time wasn’t right. Mackenzie knew now that it wasn’t the time not being right at all – it was her not being right.  He didn’t want to have children with her and that stung. Her heart was broken.

As much as she claimed to hate him right now, she knew it was all a façade to cover up her heartbreak over him. The fact that he blamed her for their relationship’s demise made it even worse. She knew she was a workaholic, but she tried. She really did.

Whatever. Fuck him, she thought to herself, her thoughts bitter once again.

She squeezed the water out of her hair and turned off the shower. She grabbed the towel and dried her hair as best as possible before drying her body as she stepped out of the shower. She walked over to the sink and stared at her reflection, grimacing as she did so. She looked like shit. She was too thin, her cheeks were gaunt and her eyes were dull, but she couldn’t contribute the majority of it to the alcohol.  This past year with him had been very rough, and she had suffered physically from all the turmoil. It was hard to eat when you were so fucking depressed that all you wanted to do was sleep all day. Yesterday had been a nice escape, but the reality of her relationship with Brian was still there and when she got home she’d have to face it. The fucker was still living with her.

“You alright?” Eddie knocked at the door and Mackenzie jumped, pulled out of her thoughts.

“Yes. Getting dressed, give me a few minutes, okay?” Mackenzie called.

“Yep.”

Mackenzie quickly got dressed in her clothes from earlier. She had no deodorant and no toothbrush though. Fuck! She eyed Eddie’s deodorant for a moment, but decided against that. She didn’t want to smell like him! His toothbrush was completely off limits as well. Too gross. She would just have to brush with her finger as best as possible. It didn’t matter. She was leaving as soon as she got out of this bathroom. She finished and stepped out of the bathroom and into the living room, her cheeks reddening as she saw Eddie sitting at a small table next to the large windows that showed downtown Chicago.

“I’ve got some breakfast if you want it,” he offered, but Mackenzie held her hand up to shush him. She didn’t want to hear about food right now. At all. Her stomach lurched as the smell of bacon hit her.

“I think I need to get out of here, Eddie,” she said quietly. She walked over to the table and stood by the chair rather than sat, her embarrassment overwhelming her. She seriously couldn’t meet his eyes, hers darting back and forth from the table to his face.

“You’d feel better if you ate something, Mack,” Eddie admonished her gently. She glanced at him but then looked away, looking out the window at the cold day. It was snowing.

“I don’t want to eat, but thank you. I’d just like to go home, Eddie.”

“Okay. Give me a few minutes to get dressed and I’ll take you to your car.” Eddie dropped his napkin on the table and stood up and headed towards his bedroom. Mackenzie sighed in relief and went to find her shoes. When she was done gathering her things, she sat on the edge of the couch nervously and waited for him. Eddie walked back out a few moments later and Mackenzie stood up.

“You ready?” Eddie asked her.

Mackenzie nodded and walked to the door, her intentions made known. Eddie sighed, and wordlessly followed along behind her.

The ride to her car was a short one, barely 20 minutes, even in the snow. They barely spoke, only small conversations with one-word responses.  Mackenzie was visibly relieved when she saw her car in the stadium parking lot. Eddie pulled in right next to her and parked his car, and the uncomfortable silence fell over them again.

"So-" he began.

"Eddie, I-" Mackenzie spoke at the same time, and they both nervously chuckled.  Eddie tilted his head towards her, indicating he would wait for her to say what she needed to say before he spoke.

"Look, Eddie....I'm sorry about last night, and this morning. I am totally embarrassed and you must think I am a crazy drunk, but that is not how I am and I usually I don't do that, and even when I do," she looked at Eddie, catching his small smile as he watched her.

"And I am babbling and I have no idea why, so I'll just shut up then," she finished, wringing her hands together in her lap. Eddie reached over and patted her on her thigh softly.

"Mackenzie - trust me - you're not the first drunk chick I've been around." He grinned sheepishly and looked out the window before looking back at her. "That did not come out right. Fuck."

"Uhm....no it did not," Mackenzie giggled as she looked at him from underneath her lashes.

"Look. It's cool. I had a good time with you at the game, and last night was fun, too." Eddie grinned again and Mackenzie smiled as well. He wasn't going to be a jerk to her after all.

"So...I guess I need to go then...." Mackenzie mumbled as she unbuckled her seat belt. She went to open her door, but Eddie reached over and placed his hand on her forearm.  Mackenzie looked back at him in surprise.

"What?" she stammered, her heart beating fast at the look on his face. He released her arm and sat back in his seat, his fingers rubbing his bearded chin as he stared at her.

"Fuck,  I am just gonna ask. Can I have your phone number?" he rushed out, and Mackenzie would swear he was blushing. Or maybe it was the cold. No, he was definitely blushing. He looked away nervously, fiddling with the keys in the ignition before looking back up at her.

"Why?" Mackenzie asked him, groaning inwardly as the word fell from her lips. What the fuck kind of question was that?

"So I can call you."

"Why would you want to call me?" Mackenzie asked him, cursing inwardly once again. Her and her big, fat stupid mouth!!!!

"Uhm.." Eddie began, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, but Mackenzie cut him off before he could answer her.

"Yes. Hold on." She hastily pulled a piece of paper out of her purse and a pen and scribbled her number on it and shoved it towards Eddie.

Eddie took the piece of paper but looked at her curiously. "Mackenzie?"

She shushed him again with her finger. "No questions. Do what you want with it. I am a weird person and you will change your mind, and I am gonna go now before I say anything else."

She opened the door, cursing as the wind hit her.  She scooped all of her things up in her arms and pushed the door closed with her behind. She heard Eddie get out and shut his door, and she tried to hurry to avoid him, but he was too fast. He pulled open the passenger door for her and helped her get her things in, and walked with her to the drivers side and opened that door for her as well. Mackenzie climbed in and started the car, setting the heater on full blast.

"Are you going to be alright? With the snow and all?" Eddie asked her as he leaned down next to her. Mackenzie stared straight ahead. She had never felt more foolish and ridiculous in all her life, and she was sure he thought she was a complete moron.

"Yep." Her voice sounded like a high-pitched squeak, and she closed her eyes in further embarrassment.  One fucking thing after another! She just wanted this to be over with. He had to think she was a complete lunatic now. He had to.

"Mackenzie." Eddie said softly. He was right fucking next to her, so close that she could feel his breath against her cheek. She didn't dare turn her face.

"Yes?" Still squeaky voice.

"It's alright. I promise. Nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?" Eddie said gently. He leaned over and kissed her on her temple, his lips warm against her skin, and she melted. From shock, or from his lips, or something entirely different, but she was finding it hard to breath. Eddie stood up before she could attack him - lucky him -  and closed her door for her. He motioned for her to roll the window down and she did just a little. "I'm going to text you when I get back in my car. Text me when you get to your hotel. That way I know you got there safe, okay?"

Mackenzie nodded, still in shock from him kissing her. He winked at her - her heart started beating even faster - and walked back over to his car and got inside. As Mackenzie was still sitting in her car, reeling from the past few minutes, she felt her phone buzz and she looked over at Eddie. He grinned at her and gave her the thumbs up sign. She looked down at her phone, seeing a text message.

Eddie: It's me. Text me when you get to your room.

She swallowed hard and looked back up at Eddie. He was still there, still grinning. She waved back at him, and buckled and put the car in drive.  Her hotel wasn't far away and she knew the way, so getting there would be fairly easy.  When they reached the first intersection, Eddie turned off as she went straight. She watched in her rear view mirror til she couldn't see him anymore, her heart finally slowing as he was gone.  A few moments later, she pulled into the hotel parking lot and parked, but she didn't get out of her car immediately. She was still trying to wrap her mind around what had happened when her phone rang.

It was Brian.

Chapter Text

Mackenzie ignored the first phone call.

And the second one.

And the third one.

Her phone was ringing yet again as she pushed her way in through her door to her hotel room. On the fifth call, she finally answered, sinking down low against the wall as she held the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” She was shaking already and Brian hadn’t even spoken yet.

“Mackenzie? Baby? Why haven’t you answered my calls?” Mackenzie closed her eyes as the tears welled up. She knew what he was doing and he was so good at it. “Mackenzie? Are you there?”

“Yes. I am here. What do you want?” Mackenzie tried to be strong, tried to keep the quiver out of her voice, but she knew she was failing.

“I miss you.”

“You cheated on me, Brian!” Mackenzie’s voice rose, her anger bubbling to the surface and threatening to overtake her. “You cheated on me, and you got her pregnant!”

“Mackenzie…look….we can figure something out, okay?” Brian began, but Mackenzie cut him off.

“No. I told you we were done. I told you this. You need to be moved out of my place by the time I get back next week.”

“You don’t mean that, Mackenzie. Baby, listen to yourself,” Brian pleaded, but his words fell on deaf ears. Mackenzie stared at her phone in shock yet again. A text message from Eddie appeared.

Eddie: It’s me. It’s been a while. Hope you’re okay. Please text me back.

“Brian, I have to go,” Mackenzie said, although she did feel the tiniest bit of guilt knowing she was hanging up with Brian so that she could focus on Eddie. Well fuck him, the little voice in her head cried, spurring her on.

“What do you-”

Mackenzie hung up the phone. Hammering the nail in the coffin even further, she scrolled down and blocked his number. Take that, fucker! She scrolled back to Eddie’s number, a giddy smile appearing out of the blue. He was texting her!

Mackenzie: I just got in. Sorry. I am okay, thank you.

She peeled herself off the floor and stood up, wiping at her face and eyes as she made her way over to her bed. She kicked off her shoes and pulled her jeans off and climbed into bed, her body and mind weary. She snuggled under the blanket and waited to see if Eddie would text her back. She had just flipped on the television when her phone buzzed again.

Eddie: I was worried. Thanks for texting me back.

Mackenzie chewed on her fingernail as she stared at the text message. So many thoughts were running through her head.  First off, why was he texting her of all people? She was a nobody and he was the lead singer of a very famous band. Secondly, she was weird looking and he was incredibly hot. Her cheeks reddened just thinking about him kissing her….

Eddie: You there?

Mackenzie: Yes. Sorry.

Eddie: Am I bothering you?

“No!” Mackenzie yelled out loud to no one. She hurriedly texted him back.

Mackenzie: Of course not!

Eddie: This may sound stupid, but I miss you

Mackenzie blinked at the phone a few times, closing her mouth when she realized it had fallen open in her shock. He missed her?

Eddie: Too much?

She chewed on her fingernail as she quickly texted him back.

Mackenzie: No. I might miss you too

Eddie: Might? Even though I’m a Bears fan?

Mackenzie: Well I got drunk and threw up in your bathroom

Eddie: True

Mackenzie: Sorry I drank so much. That was not like me

Eddie: It’s okay. You’re a cute drunk 

Mackenzie snorted and shook her head. She was hardly cute when she was drinking, and even less so when she was puking her guts out! To be quite honest, she didn’t think she was particularly appealing at any time, but whatever….

Eddie: You left something in my room

Mackenzie: What?

Eddie: It’s a secret. You’ll have to come get it

Mackenzie: Or you could bring it here

God. What the fuck was she doing? Her heart was racing fast, her cheeks heated, and her palms sweaty as she flirted with this man over the phone. How quickly she forgot about Brian!

Eddie: Are you inviting me over?

Mackenzie: It’s snowing too much.

Eddie: So, do you want me to come over? I’ll bring hot chocolate to warm you up.

Mackenzie sighed as her conscious battled within her. She knew she still had feelings for Brian. She knew this. However, she also couldn’t deny that she was extremely attracted to Eddie. Who wouldn’t be? It’s not like she was asking him to come over to have sex. Was she? Is that what he thought? Oh fuck! What if that’s what he thought and she was inviting him over, and he was coming and assuming that-

Her phone buzzed in her hand again and she looked down at it, the vibration interrupting her chaotic thoughts. Eddie was calling her.

“Hello?” she answered, her voice small even to her ears.

“It’s okay, Mackenzie. I don’t have to come if you’re not comfortable with it,” Eddie replied. His deep voice was so soothing, the timber of it settling Mackenzie’s nerves. She scooted down deeper in the blankets as she cradled the phone to her ear. “You there?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Eddie,” Mackenzie said, and she really was. She didn’t want to lead him on in any way.

“Hey now. Don’t be. It’s cool, okay?” Eddie replied easily. “I do have your jersey, so whenever is good for you, just let me know, okay?”

“Thank you.”

“How long are you going to be in Chicago?” Mackenzie heard rustling. She wondered what he was doing right now. It was just barely approaching noon, but outside it looked like much later, with the sky dark and the snow falling. It was one of those cold days where your best bet was to just stay inside and bundle up. The wind was howling, and she could hear the already-freezing rain pelting at the window. “You there?”

“Yes. Sorry again. I was looking outside at the weather. It looks pretty bad, huh?” She didn’t do well in storms of any kind….

“Yeah,” Eddie replied. “Supposed to get worse overnight, the rain turning into snow. They’re calling for a half-foot least. Do you have all the supplies you might need in case power goes out? It shouldn’t in a hotel, but you never know. It might make it hard to leave, too, what with the roads being icy.”

“Okay. Come over and bring supplies,” Mackenzie said quickly. She looked back out the window again, her anxiety rising. She had never been through an ice storm such as the one they were predicting here and the thought of being stuck in this room alone was freaking her the fuck out.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, I just wanted you to be prepared.”

“Do you not want to come over?” Mackenzie could hear the anxiety in her voice and she tried desperately to calm herself down, but the more she stared out at the ever darkening sky, the more her anxiety rose.

“No. I want to. I just don’t want you to think I am tryin’ some shit with you, or something,” Eddie replied.

“I don’t like being alone in storms,” Mackenzie admitted. Lightening flashed across the sky and she flinched, scooting down lower in her blankets. “Please come over?”

“Okay. I’ll come sooner rather than later, if that’s okay with you?” Eddie said and Mackenzie breathed a tiny sigh of relief. She’d rather be stuck in a hotel room with him than all alone. “Text me your hotel and room number. I’ll swing by the store and pick up a few things and head your way.”

“Okay,” Mackenzie replied. She was completely under the blanket now, trying to hide away from the approaching thunder. “Will you hurry, please? I hate being alone in storms.”

“Text me and I’ll leave now,” Eddie said and Mackenzie quickly texted him her information.

“I just sent it to you.” She heard more rustling as Eddie moved about his room, gathering things as her prepared to leave.

“I got it. Give me an hour maybe and I’ll be there, okay?” Eddie said and Mackenzie sucked in a shaky breath. An hour was a long ass time to wait, but what choice did she have?

“Okay,” she answered. She was shivering under the blanket, even though she was sweating, and she knew she needed to get up and clean up - herself and her room - before Eddie made it over. Summoning all of her courage, she threw the covers back and ran to the huge window, pulling the curtains shut as much as she could to block out the approaching storm. She hastily cleaned up her room, what little mess there was, and grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom.

Should she take a shower or not? Fuck! She'd showered at Eddie's earlier, and she'd always been told not to shower in the midst of a storm, especially with lightening. She settled with changing clothes, putting on deodorant, and brushing her teeth.  She pulled her thick curls up into a loose bun piled on top of her head, and spritzed a little perfume on before running back to her bed and climbing in.  As she lay there waiting for Eddie to arrive, she felt her anxiety rising yet again, and she was sure it had nothing to do with the storm that was slowly building outside her windows. She knew what could happen tonight, and she'd invited it by inviting him over. She lay there, covered up in her blankets and chewing on her fingernails, her mind racing as she wondered just what in the fuck she was doing...

Chapter Text

A little over and hour later, Eddie texted her, letting her know that he was on his way up. Mackenzie hopped out of bed and unlocked the door, waiting by it for him to show. He finally knocked and she opened the door, unable to control the grin on her face. His arms were full with grocery bags, and he had a backpack slung over his shoulders.

“Hi,” Eddie grinned at her.

  “Hi,” Mackenzie grinned back. She opened the door wider and grabbed a bag out of his hand as he walked in through the door. Mackenzie closed the door behind him and locked it.

“Where do you want all this stuff?” Eddie called to her.

“On that table is fine,” she replied, gesturing to the table next to the television. Her room was hardly the size of Eddie’s and she didn’t have a kitchen, only a microwave. A rumble of thunder rolled through the room, the vibration causing her to jump. Eddie arched an eyebrow at her as he continued emptying the bags.

“You don’t like the storm, huh?” He turned toward her as he unzipped his jacket and pulled it off. Underneath he had on a long sleeve tee shirt, and another shirt underneath it. His hair was wet, and even curlier from running through the rain outside. He tossed his jacket on the back of the chair and ran his fingers through his hair. Another crack of lightning, followed by a low rumble of thunder had Mackenzie covering her ears with her fingers and closing her eyes as she waited for it to pass. She jumped when she felt Eddie’s fingers pry her hands away from her head, his smile as he pulled her to him. She didn’t fight back, but instead wrapped her arms around his waist as she buried her face in his chest.

“I hate them,” she griped, her fingers gripping his shirt in bunches. Eddie chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest much like the thunder was through the room. He rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly as he spoke.

“I got stuff to make hot chocolate. You wanna do that?” He looked around, spotting her microwave.

“We can cook it in the microwave.” Mackenzie nodded against him, but didn’t look up. Eddie chuckled again. “You gotta let me go, though, Mack.”

Mackenzie groaned against him – actually whined was more like it – and Eddie walked backwards with her still pressed against his chest. He guided her to the bed and peeled her fingers off of his waist.

“Mackenzie? You wanna sit and I’ll make the hot chocolate?” He stared down at the top of head, her messy bun right under his chin.

“I hate thunder.”

“I can tell,” Eddie grinned again. He leaned back and gently pulled her chin up, forcing her to look at him. He could see in her eyes that she was scared. He leaned down and kissed her on her forehead softly. “It’ll only take me a few minutes.”

She nodded silently and rushed to the bed, jumping in and covering quickly as Eddie laughed at her.

“It’s good, huh?” Eddie asked her as she carefully sipped her hot chocolate. Mackenzie was sitting cross-legged on the bed, her back pressed against the headboard. Eddie had pulled up a chair next to the bed.

“Very good. You can sing, you can drive in the snow, and you can make hot chocolate?” Mackenzie teased him and Eddie chuckled.

“So why am I single?” he finished for her, and Mackenzie blushed profusely.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Eddie.”

“Nah. It’s cool.” He sat his cup on the table and stared at the television before answering. “I’ve been married before. It was back when the band was first starting up. Too much drinking and stupid shit for a marriage to work.”

“I’m sorry,” Mackenzie offered. She could see that it still bothered him, and she knew exactly the feelings.

“What about you?”

“Other than this thing with the guy I told you about? I’ve never been married.” Mackenzie took another sip of her chocolate, her jaw clenching as she tried to squash memories of Brian.

“How long were you with him?” Eddie asked her softly, and Mackenzie couldn’t meet his eyes. He’d see just how hung up on him she still was.

“Too long.”

“I’ll leave it alone,” Eddie replied. He stood and picked up his chocolate, carrying it with him to the window.  He pulled back the curtain and peeked outside.

“Is it bad?” Mackenzie asked him from the bed.

“Yeah.” He turned back to her, and shoved his free hand in his pocket. “I need to get back to my room before the roads completely freeze over.”

“Oh.” She tried to hide the disappointment in her voice, but Eddie caught it.

“What’s the matter, Mack?” He sat back down in the chair and smiled at her.

“I just thought….you know…..” Mackenzie looked away, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“You thought, what?” Eddie asked her with a grin, one eyebrow arched an amusement.

“I thought maybe you were going to stay….with the ice and the roads and all, but if you don’t want to, I totally understand.” Mackenzie’s eyes got bigger as she turned back to him. “I mean, I wasn’t implying that you should stay. Or that you would even want to. I just thought that with the storm…and you know….” She trailed off, her eyes narrowing as Eddie laughed at her, his dimples appearing. “What?”

“You tend to ramble when you’re nervous.”

Mackenzie snorted and rolled her eyes, doing her best to disagree with his assessment, even though it was one hundred percent accurate. “I am not nervous.”

“I am,” Eddie said, his voice low.

“You are?” Mackenzie asked him. She could feel her heart beating – no, pounding – in her chest. A flash of lightning lit up the room, even with the curtains closed, and Mackenzie covered her ears and closed her eyes as she pulled the covers up around her ears. Once again Eddie pulled her hand away from her ears, forcing her to look at him. His blue eyes were dancing with humor.

“Will you please stay?” she asked him timidly. She scooted over on the bed and nodded at the empty spot, indicating that she wanted him to get in. Eddie rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  “I mean…if you want to.”

“You sure?” Another crack of lightening, followed by a boom of thunder.

“Yes. Absolutely.” Mackenzie’s voice was squeaky with her anxiety over the raging storm. She didn’t know what was more nerve-wracking – the constant lightning or the waiting in between thunder for the next one strike! Eddie silently removed his boots and stood up, pulling his sweatshirt off and leaving him in jeans and a tee shirt. He sat down on the bed and lay back, scooting down but not touching Mackenzie. She wasted no time, however, quickly closing the gap and wrapping herself around him. She buried her face against his chest, his body heat and smell calming her down almost immediately.

Eddie chuckled underneath her, his arm wrapping around her and pulling her in close.

"You smell good," Mackenzie murmured sleepily.  He was so warm and he smelled so good and she could feel her eyes getting heavier and heavier.

"Yeah, I showered today," Eddie teased, earning a giggle from Mackenzie. "Get some sleep, Mack. When you wake up, it'll be snowed over and I'll take you out to see the city."  He turned a bit and pulled her closer into his chest, his loose hand resting lightly on her hip.  Mackenzie snuggled in closer, and lulled by his strong, steady heartbeat, she fell asleep almost immediately.

Chapter Text

Lightning illuminated the room, and a loud crack of thunder shook the room, jarring Mackenzie from her sleep.  She sat up, frantically clutching the blanket to her chest and her eyes wide with fright.

"Mack?" Eddie mumbled sleepily as he reached for her.  Mackenzie looked down at him, momentarily forgetting that he was there. Another flash of lightning had her jumping back into his arms, her body trembling against him as she pressed her face into his neck and covered her ears. Eddie pushed her back down against the bed and pulled her hands from her ears, his eyes searching hers in the dimly lit room.

"I wanna kiss you, Mack," he whispered, his voice deep. Mackenzie blinked up at him, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched him move closer.  When she felt his breath against her face, his lips so close to hers, she was lost. Her hands snaked around his neck and he groaned as she pulled him to her.

Eddie kissed her, his lips pressed against hers hesitantly and Mackenzie melted into him. She arched against him, her breasts pressed against his hard chest. The cool of the room pebbled her nipples, the hard peaks aching as she rubbed against him in need. The storm outside was completely forgotten with the feel of Eddie's hands against her body.

“Oh fuck, Mack!” Eddie groaned, his hands reaching up and snaking in her hair as he pulled her even closer. “I’m not gonna be able to stop…”

“Then don’t,” Mackenzie murmured against his lips, her fingers running along his arms and up to his shoulders.

He smelled so good and he was so warm and so hard all at the same time. She gripped his hair tightly, her fingers scraping along his scalp as he lifted her and moved her over to the center of the bed.  Before laying her down completely, he pulled off her tee and undid her bra, licking his lips as her breasts were bared before him. He palmed her, his hands cupping her sensitive breasts and he kissed each nipple once before letting her go. He laid her back down, and gently laid on top of her, his arms braced out to either side as he continued to kiss her. Mackenzie closed her eyes as she squirmed against him, her hips moving against his hard erection that was pressed into her. She pulled at his shirt, needing to feel his skin on hers, and Eddie leaned up and removed the shirt. He tossed it on the floor with her clothing and lay back down, his chest against hers. Both sighed as bare skin met bare skin. Mackenzie ran her hands up and down his back, her fingers tracing the muscles there. Eddie was thickly muscled, his shoulders broad and hard. His skin was so smooth, the hard muscles encased in soft skin. She ran her fingers around to his chest, searching his body, exploring every dip and curve as he continued to kiss her. When she scraped her fingertips against a hard nipple, Eddie released her mouth and hissed into her neck.

“Goddamn,” he growled, nipping at her neck, his teeth playing at the spot where her heart was beating so fast. He pushed off of her and trailed his lips down her throat, making his way down to her breasts. He greedily latched onto one nipple, his sharp teeth biting and tugging as Mackenzie writhed underneath him. He soothed her with the flat of his tongue, the roughness driving her insane with need.

“Eddie, please!” Mackenzie panted. She couldn’t take much more. She needed him, and she needed him now. Eddie licked and kissed each breast once more, reluctantly leaving them only to remove her shorts and panties. He pulled them down quickly, taking Mackenzie’s breath away with his forcefulness. He quickly shed his own jeans and underwear, his breathing ragged as he covered her body with his once more.

“I need you now, Mack,” her said in between kisses. Mackenzie could feel his erection pressed into her thigh, and that spot between her legs got even wetter. She arched against him, rubbing herself against his upper thigh, the hair on his legs driving her insane with need. It affected Eddie too, as he reached down and slid his fingers along her slit. He sucked in a ragged breath as he felt how wet she was, and he pressed his forehead against hers as he slid two fingers into her tight opening.

“Ahhhh….god…..Eddie!” Mackenzie moaned. She held him to her, her hips undulating against his hand and fingers. She could feel herself starting to come undone, her thighs beginning to tremble as Eddie worked her with his fingers, his thumb circling her clit slowly.

“Please Eddie!” she begged, not caring how desperate she sounded. Eddie removed his fingers, replacing them with his hard cock pressed at her entrance. He closed his eyes as he pressed in, pushing in slowly til he was completely buried inside her. He grunted against her neck, his beard rough as he moved against her delicate skin. She would be chafed later, but Mackenzie didn’t care. She pushed at his shoulders to get him to come up and kiss her, her lips seeking his frantically as she began to undulate her hips against him. Eddie cupped her cheeks as he looked down at her, his blue eyes dark and stormy with need.

“Eddie?” Mackenzie breathed out, her lips swollen with his kisses and scrapes of his beard.

He said nothing, leaning down and kissing her again, roughly this time as he began to pound into her, his hips rocking back and forth as he slid in and out. Mackenzie held onto his neck, her fingers tangled in his hair as he continued kissing her. She pulled her legs up around him, gripping his sides as hard as she could and moved with him.

“Come on, babe!” Eddie urged her as he slammed into her over and over. Mackenzie felt her orgasm coming, felt herself losing control. Eddie reached down between them and circled her clit once more, his thumb pressing against her, rubbing her wetness around that tight bundle of nerves and Mackenzie screamed as she gushed around him, her hips stilling as she held him to her and rode the waves of ecstasy that was washing over her.

“Fuck!” Eddie growled, spilling himself deep inside her, his cock twitching inside her as he came. He pulled at her leg just behind her knee, pulling her close to him as he slowed inside her, her body milking him for every last drop. He pressed against her one final time before collapsing on top of her. Their bodies were sweaty, and both were breathing heavily.

“Wow,” Mackenzie murmured as she lazily stroked his back. Eddie chuckled against her neck, his breathing slowly easing.

“Fuckin’ wow is right.”

Mackenzie giggled at him. He never missed an opportunity to insert “fuck” at some point in a sentence.

“We should do it again.”

Eddie pushed up off her and looked down at her, his eyebrow arched in disbelief. Mackenzie smiled back at him innocently.

“Do you know how old I am?” her asked her with a grin.

“So?” She arched her own eyebrow in challenge. She pushed him off her, rolling him so that she was now on top. She straddled him, rubbing her body against his, moaning as she felt that warmth start spreading again. Eddie closed his eyes with a groan and placed his hands above his head as Mackenzie kissed along his chest, her teeth nipping at him until she found an already-hard nipple and took it between her teeth.

“Fuck!” Eddie hissed, eyes wide open as he stared at the top of her head. Mackenzie grinned against his chest.

“Patience, babe,” Mackenzie murmured against his skin as her tongue swirled around his taut nipple. She continued sliding her body against his, her hands sliding down lower and rubbing along his already hardening cock yet again.

“I’m gonna write songs about you, Mack,” Eddie growled as she cupped his balls. Mackenzie smiled as she slid up his body, dragging herself against him until her mouth found his. Eddie took over, his mouth seizing hers as he rolled them back over and made love to her. 

They made love 4 times that night. As the storm eased and the snow began to fall, Mackenzie lay sated in Eddie's arms, smiling as she heard his light snoring at her ear. She snuggled down deeper in his arms and closed her eyes. 

She nor Eddie had any idea what was in store for them, no idea how the next year would test this new relationship that they were entering into.  Had she known, she might have done things differently, but hindsight is always 20/20, right?

Chapter Text

11 months later...

Eddie sat in the corner, his eyes glued to his notebook. If he looked up when Mackenzie entered the room, she had no idea because he wouldn’t meet her eyes now at all. She didn’t know whether to be thankful for that or to be even sadder than she already was.

He wouldn’t even look at her.

That said volumes about his feelings toward her now.

“Mornin’ Mack, how are you?” Stone asked, breaking the awkward silence. Mackenzie forced a smile in his direction. Stone smiled back gently, his kindness nearly breaking Mackenzie down right then and there. She took the seat closest to Stone, grateful that it was also the furthest from Eddie.  Stone had no reason to be here other than moral support for both his friends, and for that, Mackenzie would be eternally grateful.

“I’m good. How are you, Stone?” She opened her binder, pulling out the necessary forms and spreading them on the table. Just a few signatures and she could be out of here, never having to see Eddie again. He glanced up in her direction, not really looking at her, but enough to cause her to drop her pen as she fumbled with closing her binder. Her hands were so fucking shaky.

Stone was making small talk with her when the lawyer came in. The mood in the room immediately changed, the tension building to a point where it could be sliced with a butter knife. As the meeting began, Mackenzie stared down at her paperwork, trying to focus on anything but Eddie.

“And Mr. Vedder…it says here that you want to retain all rights to photographs, any written documents, and anything else that may have been exchanged between you and Ms. Reeder. Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Eddie’s deep voice filled up the room, and Mackenzie bit back a sob. He was so mad at her, she could hear it in his voice. He must absolutely hate her. She looked up, still expecting him to be looking down at his notebook, but he was staring at her, his blue eyes hard and icy as they stared back at her. She swallowed again, blinking back tears and looked away. She could feel the hate being directed towards her.

“Ms. Reeder, do you have anything that you’d like to turn over to Mr. Vedder at this time?” The lawyer turned to Mackenzie, a generic smile on her face. It was almost laughable how professional this woman was. It was like she’d seen couples break up and rip each others' hearts out daily – no big deal. Before Mackenzie could answer, Eddie spoke up again, his eyes just as harsh as before.

“The necklace she has on. And the jacket. I want them both back.” Eddie’s voice was cold, and even Stone gasped as he stared between the two of them.

“Ed-” Stone began, but Eddie cut him off quickly.

“Take them off. I want them back.”

Could he be any harsher? Mackenzie didn’t think she could breathe over the lump in her throat, but she did as he asked. She pulled off the jacket she was wearing and placed it on the table in front of her before removing the necklace. Her fingers were shaking as she undid the clasp. She immediately felt naked without it, the cool metal no longer pressing against her neck where it had been for so long. She stared at the ring on the chain, a simple reminder of how much he loved her, he’d said. She almost smiled when she remembered the day he’d given it to her, but instead her face screwed up in a grimace. She shakily pushed the items towards Stone, giving him a feeble smile. She was so sorry that he was in the middle of this mess, all because of her stupid actions. He was such a nice guy and didn’t deserve this shit.

“Is there anything else, Mr. Vedder?” The ever-professional lawyer moved things right along.

“No," Mackenzie whispered brokenly.  She had nothing left, not on her body, or inside it.  She was completely empty.

“If you both agree that there’s nothing left to contest, I’ll just need your signatures here stating that everything has been settled accordingly.  This non-disclosure agreement is binding on both your parts once you've both signed.”

The lawyer slid the papers over to Mackenzie and she signed, not even bothering to read. She stood up blindly, grabbing her purse and cell, and left the room, stumbling out into the hallway. She had to find a bathroom, or a closet. Somewhere that she could break down properly. She opened the first door she came to, relieved when it was in fact a bathroom.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie,” she whispered to her reflection in the mirror. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“Then why?” Eddie asked behind her, startling her with his presence. She stared at him through the mirror, her breath catching as he slowly shut the door behind him.

“Eddie…I”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. Tell me why you did it.” He walked towards her and turned her around, roughly forcing her to look at him with his fingers on her chin. She could see his eyes were glistening just as hers were.

“I don’t know why. I was scared, and I was lonely, and I thought you cheated on me.”

“So you were going to pay me back, then?” Eddie whispered disdainfully. “Do you have any idea of how much I changed for you? Of how much I….of how much…..” He turned from her, one hand on his hip and the other covering his face as he bowed his head.

“I loved you, Mack. I loved you, and you did this to me.”

She could hear the emotion in his voice and it was ripping her heart out. She wanted to go to him, to hug him and tell him how much she loved him, but instead she stood quietly, her tears nearly blinding her and her throat constricting with grief.  She knew he would never let her touch him.

“I am so sorry, Eddie. I love you and I am so sorry,” she whispered brokenly. There was not enough regret in the world to fix what she had done.

Eddie cleared his throat as he turned around, and Mackenzie took a step back as she saw the look on his face. He was so angry, his jaw so tense as he narrowed his eyes at her. He walked to her quickly and pushed her up against the wall, his fingers biting into her upper arms as he pinned her between him and the cool concrete wall. His eyes were wild and he was breathing hard. He was scaring the shit out of her.

“Ed-”

Eddie’s lips came crashing down on hers, his mouth bruising and punishing as her kissed her. Mackenzie struggled against him, her heart racing as she realized he wouldn’t let her go. She freed one arm and pushed at his face with her hand and he released her. Both of them were breathing heavily, their chests heaving with emotion. He had tears running down his cheeks as did Mackenzie, his lips turned down in a strained frown and his chin trembling as he fought his own grief. When he raised his right hand, clenched in a fist, Mackenzie flinched, not knowing what he was going to do. He stared at her for a moment before slamming his fist into the wall next to her head, and Mackenzie began crying even harder. She couldn’t take much more….

“Fuck you, Mackenzie. Fuck you and fuck everything we ever had,” he whispered next to her ear.  He pushed away from the wall, and ran his hands through his hair angrily as he stared at her.

He was still glaring at her when the door opened and Stone rushed in, quickly surveying the scene and seeing just how bad it was. Mackenzie was sobbing silently, not looking at Eddie, and Eddie was glaring at Mackenzie, blood dripping to the floor from his busted knuckles.  Stone let out an exhausted sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

“Eddie….man….why don’t we take a break, okay?” Stone offered as calmly as possible.  Mackenzie looked up at Stone before turning her attention back to Eddie.  He continued to stare at her angrily, looking like he wanted to hit her still, and Mackenzie had to look away.

“Eddie?” Stone repeated.

Eddie squared his shoulders and stood up a little straighter and backed away. He didn’t say a word to Stone as he pushed past him, slamming the door shut behind him. They heard Eddie yell “fuck!” in the hallway, and what sounded like a chair being thrown down the corridor, and another slammed door and then it was quiet. Mackenzie crumpled to the floor, her shoulders shaking with grief as she sobbed. Stone quickly moved to her and knelt down beside her, his arms around her shoulders.

“Are you alright, Mack?” he asked her softly.

“No,” she whispered.

“Did he….did Eddie hurt you, Mack?” Stone asked her, his tone serious. Mackenzie shook her head slowly.

“No more than I deserve.”

“You don’t deserve to be treated like shit, Mack. No matter what you did or didn’t do,” Stone argued and Mackenzie giggled through her grief.

“You’re a good man, Stone, but you are crazy.” She sniffled as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. “He really hates me.”

“He’s just very, very pissed off right now, but he doesn’t hate you, Mack.” He sat down next to her, and pulled out a small envelope from his pocket and handed it to her. Mackenzie took it and looked up at him curiously. He nodded and smiled at her. “Open it.”

Mackenzie opened the envelope, her fingers trembling as she pulled out her necklace, the ring still in place. She looked up at Stone, her mouth dropping open in shock.

“He still loves you, Mack, but he’s very hurt. Just give him some time, okay?” Stone patted her knee gently before getting up. He held his hand out to her, pulling her up with him.

“So what do I do now?” Mackenzie asked miserably. She had no idea what to do with herself now. Where to go? Back to Texas? Stay here in Seattle?

“Take some time for yourself, sweetie.  The tour's almost over and we all need a damn break.” Stone put his arm around her shoulder and walked her to the door and out into the hallway. “Give Eddie some time. He’ll come around. I’m sure of it.”

Mackenzie snorted.

“You have more faith than I do, Stoney,” she mumbled as they walked down the hall towards the exit.  Stone nonchalantly righted the chair that Eddie had indeed tossed down the hallway. He'd knocked quite a bit of paint off the wall in the process.  Mackenzie shook her head in sadness, but said nothing. When they got to the end of the hall, Stone pushed the door open and they stepped out into the dreary night, the mist and cold only adding to Mackenzie’s misery. Eddie’s car was gone and Mackenzie sighed as she stared at the empty spot where he was just a while earlier.

“I’ve always believed in you two more than you guys ever believed in yourselves!” He laughed, and Mackenzie couldn’t help but laugh back at him. “You gonna be alright getting home?”

“Yeah. I think I’ll go back to Texas for a while. Visit my family, take care of myself.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Mack. You call me if you need anything, okay?” He leaned down to her eye level and smiled at her. “Even if you wanna talk about Eddie, call me, okay?”

Mackenzie smiled back, that lump in her throat yet again as she thought about leaving Eddie.

“You’ll regret that, Stoney,” she wagged her finger at him and he laughed.

“Give me a hug, Mack, and let’s get out of this weather, okay?” Mackenzie moved into his arms, thankful to have such a friend during such a shitty time. She didn’t know what she would do without him tonight. “Text me when you get to your apartment, okay?”

“Okay,” Mackenzie said quietly. With one more squeezing hug, they released each other and went their separate ways, Stone to his place and Mackenzie to hers. As Mackenzie drove home, she thought about her future and where this road would take her. She didn’t turn on the radio - didn’t want to run the risk of hearing Eddie or anyone like him - and she couldn't handle any kind of sad songs tonight.

Her thoughts always went back to him though. He was inescapable, and she once again thought about all the mistakes they’d made that had led up to tonight. ...

Chapter Text

That shitty night that it all went to shit…

Mackenzie was cleaning out her apartment in Dallas, a smile on her face as she packed up another box. Eddie was playing at the Barclay’s Center, one of the final shows on the tour. They’d agreed that Mackenzie would go back to Dallas and square things away with her apartment, and when the tour ended, she’d join him in Seattle. The distance was putting a huge strain on their relationship and they both agreed that staying together was a better bet for the two of them, that commuting between Dallas and Seattle was no longer going to work. They’d even found a huge house on Puget Sound that they were both in love with. Mackenzie smiled as she pushed a box around with her foot.

The last of Brian’s things were in that box. She and Brian had ended things on civil terms, both admitting that they were in the relationship for the wrong reasons, and that it was a good thing for it to end. She had texted him earlier to let him know that he could come get his things, but she hadn’t heard back from him yet. He had moved a street over, into another apartment complex, and last Mackenzie knew he was moving on with his life and his new girlfriend.

Mackenzie’s phone buzzed on top of one of the boxes, and she scrambled to find it amongst the mess. She finally found it and her smile turned into a grin when she saw it was Eddie calling. It was nearly 1am but she didn’t care.

“Hey baby! How was the show?”

All Mackenzie heard was giggling from the other line, and it was definitely not Eddie giggling. No, this was a female’s voice, and more than one if Mackenzie had to take a guess. Immediately her heart started racing as her anxiety rose.

“Eddie?”

Another breathy giggle. “Eddie’s…..busy….at the moment.”

What the fuck? Mackenzie blinked back the tears that had sprung up on her out of nowhere. What the fuck was going on?

“Who is this?” She demanded. The icy grip of fear seized her spine and she suddenly felt nauseous as she listened to the sounds coming from the line. She didn’t hear Eddie, but she did hear what sounded like a zipper being undone followed by more laughter. Her phone buzzed in her hand and Mackenzie pulled it away from her ear.

It was a picture message.

It was Eddie, laid out on a bed, shirtless and wearing jeans that had been unzipped. She could see his fucking underwear!! What the fuck? On top of him was some blonde bitch with no bra on and her ass cheeks peeking out of a thong. More laughter came on the line.

“Who the fuck are you? Let me talk to Eddie!” Mackenzie screeched through her tears. The woman on the other line laughed again.

“He’ll call you later, sweetie. He’s got his hands full!” The phone buzzed again and this picture sent Mackenzie to her knees. It was Eddie again, but this time the blonde bitch was licking around his navel and Eddie – goddamn him! – had his hand on the back of her head. It looked like he was holding her to him! Mackenzie squinted as she held the phone closer to her face.Oh god.....

Not able to take it anymore, Mackenzie hung up the phone and dropped it, her stomach turning as she tried to erase the images from her mind. They had rules in place to prevent this! What was Eddie thinking? How could he do this to her? She frantically grabbed her phone and dialed Stone, not knowing what else to do.

“Mack?” Stone sounded half-asleep.

“Stone! Oh my god! You have to get up and go find Eddie! He’s with some girls and they are sending me these pictures and he’s naked and they’re naked and oh my god Stone! I don’t….I don’t…” Mackenzie broke down, sobbing as she lay on the floor.

“Mack! Calm down. I don’t understand what’s going on,” Stone replied. He sounded like he was getting up and moving around.

“Eddie….he’s with some…..girls….” Mackenzie choked out, the sniffling and hiccupping making it difficult to speak clearly. “He sent me some pictures and oh my God, Stone!” Mackenzie began sobbing again.

“Ok Mack, I ‘m up. I’ll go find him. I’m sure it’s not what you think, so don’t worry, okay? I’ll call you when I get him. Try not to stress too much, okay?” Stone said, his voice calm.

“Okay,” Mackenzie whispered.

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll call you.”

Stone didn’t call Mackenzie back, nor did he or Eddie answer the phone as Mackenzie called over and over again. It kept going straight to voice mail and Mackenzie’s fear grew into something unimaginable. If Eddie wouldn’t answer the phone then it must mean he was guilty, right? He must have slept with those girls and now he was avoiding her so that he could avoid the truth.

Mackenzie waited for an hour at least before giving in and calling the next person in line.

Brian.

She would call Brian and she would talk to him. He was a friend and he cared about her and he would be able to help. She couldn’t be alone right now. She felt like she was losing her mind and she couldn’t be alone.

It was after 10am when Mackenzie finally answered her phone. She sat up slowly, her head spinning with the effects of too much alcohol the night before. She pressed the answer button and held the phone up to her ear.

“Yeah?” she whispered, her eyes closed against the dizziness.

“Mack? It’s me, Stone. I got Eddie.”

“Eddie?”

“Yes. I got him. He’s sleeping in his room. He was very intoxicated, and we had to take him to the ER.” Mackenzie’s heart lurched in her chest as she thought about Eddie in the hospital.

“Why the hospital? What happened?” She was frantic again.

“One of those girls slipped something in his drink. Knocked him out good, but he’s okay now. He got discharged this morning and he’s sleeping in his room.”

Mackenzie breathed a sigh of relief that he was okay. She sucked in a few deep breaths and looked around the room as she debated getting up. Something moved under the sheet at the end of the bed – was that a foot?? - and she followed the lines up, her eyes stopping on a bare back as her breath caught and her heart stopped beating.

“Mack?” Stone said. “You alright?”

Mackenzie blinked a few times as the reality set in of what she had done. That was Brian’s back, and he was naked and in her bed. Oh god. Eddie was drugged and probably didn’t sleep with those women, but she had cheated and the guy was still in her bed. Oh god oh god oh god! She closed her eyes as she started hyperventilating, her pulse racing wildly.

“Mackenzie?” Stone’s voice jerked her back into the present.

“Uh…yeah…I’m here, Stone. Look, I gotta go…..gotta go to the bathroom. I’ll call you later.” Mackenzie hung up the phone and completely shut it off.

She leaned over and nudged Brian awake, and he rolled over and smiled at her sleepily. Mackenzie’s face contorted with disgust as another wave of nausea rolled over her.

“Brian! You have to leave!”

“What?” he mumbled sleepily. He rolled back over and tried to cover his head with a pillow, but Mackenzie pulled it out of his hands.

“No! You have to leave now! Brian!” Mackenzie stood up and grabbed his clothing in a pile and dumped it on him, forcing him to wake up. He sat up slowly, looking at her as if she were crazy.

“What the fuck?” Brian grouched as he began to get dressed. “What the fuck is wrong?”

“Just get out, please. This was a mistake and I want you to leave.”

“Wow. That’s pretty fucked up, Mackenzie, but whatever.” Brian pulled his shirt over his head angrily. He slipped his shoes on and headed into the living room as Mackenzie followed him. She still had the sheet wrapped around her and she watched him warily from the bedroom doorway.

“Text me later and explain, huh?” Brian asked as he shrugged into his jacket.

“Don’t forget your box.” Ignoring his question, Mackenzie nodded towards his things. Brian shook his head at her in amazement.

“Wow. You’re really kicking me out, aren’t you?”

“It was a mistake, Brian. I won’t be calling you to explain, so just drop it. Forget about it.”

Brian stared at her for a moment, but then shrugged again and headed to the door. Mackenzie followed. At the door, Brian turned around once more.

“I’ll talk to you later, then?”

Mackenzie jerked the door open and waited silently for him to leave. Brian shook his head again and headed out the door. She shut the door behind him, locked it, and slid down the door, crumpling at the floor as she dissolved into tears again. What the fuck had she done?

Chapter Text

"Why are you acting so weird, still?" Eddie questioned her, his lips moving against her temple lightly. "What do I have to do to make things right between us again? I love you, baby." 

They'd finally gotten back together after the incident at the Barclays with the girls, but they had yet to make love again.  Eddie wasn't pressuring her at first, said he understood her ambivalence, but now it was nearly a month later and the distance between them was bigger than it had ever been.  Mackenzie knew it was time to fess up.  She couldn't sit on the secret any longer. It was eating her up inside, the guilt tearing her apart. 

Mackenzie sat up and scooted off of Eddie from where they were laying on her couch.  She sat in the chair next to the couch, wringing her hands in her lap as she debated the best way to go about this.  She took a few deep breaths and started talking.

“Eddie…look….I don’t know how to say this, other than I slept with Brian. I slept with him the night all that stuff happened with you and those girls.” Her voice was small in the room, barely above a whisper as she awaited the fallout from her admission.

She was met with silence and she looked up, catching the look of disbelief clearly evident on Eddie's face. When he finally spoke, it was with so much contempt that she could barely hold his gaze.

“The stuff that didn’t really happen.” Eddie’s voice was cold and hard, and it sent shivers up Mackenzie’s spine.

“But I didn’t know that, Eddie. I saw the pictures and I thought that-”

“Stop! Just fuckin’ stop!” Eddie stood up and walked over to her window. He was so angry. Mackenzie could see the veins in his neck straining, could see as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“I’m sorry,” Mackenzie offered weakly.

“You did it on purpose, didn’t you?” Eddie asked her quietly. His back was still turned to her, and Mackenzie could only nod at him as the tears flowed freely. He turned around and looked at her.

“You did it on purpose. You thought I fucked around and you were going to pay me back. Is that it?”

Mackenzie nodded again. Words were failing her. Eddie laughed in disbelief as he slumped down in a chair next to the window.

“So rather than wait and see what I had to say, to see if it was true, you just called up your ex and fucked him. Why didn’t you tell me when we first got back together a month ago?”

“Because I knew you’d never forgive me.”

“And now?”

“I can’t live with the guilt, Eddie. I know I messed up and I am so sorry. I was drinking that night, and after the pictures on my phone and talking to that woman, I didn’t know what to do.”

“And fucking your ex is how you solve things?” Eddie sneered.

“I don’t even remember it, Eddie. I was very drunk.”

“Oh that’s funny how that works, huh?” Eddie asked. He stood up again and pulled his jacket on and began zipping it. “Same fuckin’ thing that I did, but I had to hear about it for weeks, didn’t I?  Except I didn't do it on purpose! Fuck!"

He kicked her chair, flipping it end over end as it crashed into a small table, sending flowers and a few pictures crashing to the ground.  Mackenzie flinched but didn't move to stop him. Eddie shoved his cell phone in his pocket and turned towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" Mackenzie stood up, fear gripping her as she realized he was going to in fact walk out on her.

"Back to fuckin' Seattle. We're done, Mack. I can't deal with this shit." Eddie walked to the door and Mackenzie grabbed his arm desperately, but he shrugged her off harshly.  He wouldn't even look at her.

"Eddie, please!" Mackenzie pleaded with him, but he wasn't listening. He walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

8 days later she received the certified letter in the mail requesting her presence in Seattle so that she and Eddie could go over the legal aspects of their relationship.  Just like that it was over.  As she landed in Seattle, she fiddled with the ring she wore around her neck, the promise ring that Eddie had given her 6 months ago.  So many good memories, all overshadowed by her actions and one stupid night.  The flight attendants started helping people off the plane, and Mackenzie steeled herself for what was to come, preparing her heart for the worst.

Chapter Text

Present day - Concert in Dallas

“So, will you come?” Stone pressed and Mackenzie sighed into the phone.

“I’m scared, Stoney.”

“Of what?”

“You know what. Eddie, seeing him and falling apart. Him seeing me. I’m scared.”

“I need you to see what’s going on, Mack. You’re the only one who can help him. He’s going to tear the band apart, and you need to see it for yourself,” Stone argued.

“He won’t listen to me,” she protested weakly, but knew it was a lost cause.

“Eventually he will. He’ll listen if you tell him how bad it is. Christ knows he won’t listen to us,” Stone said, his tone aggravated.

“I’m sorry about all of this, Stoney,” Mackenzie offered.

“I know you are. I didn’t figure it would be this bad, or I figured you two would make up by now, but this is bullshit. I can’t deal with him, Mack. I’m ready to drop him and that’s saying a lot.” Stone was nothing if not patient.

“What time and where do I get the tickets?”

“I’ll leave your ticket at the box, and it starts at seven. Text me when you get there, okay?”

“Okay,” Mackenzie replied weakly. She was scared shitless about seeing Eddie.

“It’ll be alright, Mack. Trust me, okay?”

“Okay. See you in a while.”

 Mackenzie’s heart lurched as Eddie stumbled back out on to the stage. She hadn’t seen him since that day with the lawyer. She fiddled with the chain around her neck, knowing he couldn’t pick her out in this huge crowd, but nervous just the same. She narrowed her eyes as she watched him tilt the bottle of wine up to his lips and take another drink as the crowd cheered. He was drinking an awful lot tonight….

“Okay! We’re gonna start round two with a fuckin’ bang, you guys!” Eddie yelled into the mic as the crowd cheered.  Mackenzie could see the looks on the guy’s faces. Stone looked worried and Jeff looked beyond pissed, but Mackenzie couldn’t blame them. Eddie had been acting like an ass all night.

“Let me give you guys a little piece of fuckin’ advice. Don’t. Fall. In. Love.” Eddie slurred out and the crowd cheered again.

“Fuckin’ ever!” Eddie grinned as he took another sip of his wine. The bottle was empty, and Mackenzie gasped as Eddie flung it out into the crowd.  What the fuck was wrong with him??

Eddie turned back to the band and held up a few fingers, and the guys started playing.

“Here’s a nice little fuckin’ song for all you fuckers out there!” He walked up to the video camera and flipped it off with an evil grin. “This fuckin’ song is for you, Mack.”

Mackenzie gasped at his words, her hands covering her mouth as she watched Eddie start singing “Come Back.”

It was the first time she’d heard it, and her heart broke at the lyrics. He’d said he was going to write songs about her.  Was he really talking about her?  Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she felt faint. She looked around for the nearest exit, but there was no way to get out with the crowd the way it was right now.  Eddie stumbled through the majority of the song, the lyrics incomprehensible to most except for those who knew the words. Towards the end of the song, Mackenzie could see Eddie was crying.  The crowd didn’t know why, but Mackenzie knew.  She knew because she was crying with him.

“There must be an open door, For you…..

to come back.

And the days, they linger on,

And every night, what I’m waiting for...

Is the real possibility that I may meet you in my dream.”

At this point in the song, Eddie tripped over a wire and fell down, landing on his back but he kept singing softly.  You could barely hear him over the mic, and Mackenzie watched as the crowd watched on in confusion. They were finally catching on to the fact that Eddie may not be performing now, that he might actually be having some kind of a breakdown. Stone knelt down next to Eddie, but Eddie pushed him away, kicking at him with his flailing legs.  Eddie rolled over and rose to his feet, swaying as Jeff tried to help him. Eddie threw down the mic and swung on Jeff, missing him and nearly falling again until Stone caught him.  Eddie struggled against Stone, and Jeff got in Eddie’s face, and it was generally a nightmare after that.  Mike tried to step in, but Eddie swung on him, too, and Mike cursed him and stormed off the stage in anger. Eddie continued cussing out Stone and Jeff, his hands waving about wildly as the crowd watched on in a stunned silence.   Mackenzie thought it was the most eerie sound ever – thousands of people silent as they watched their hero fall apart in front of them.

The nightmare didn’t stop.

Stone gestured to the security guards to come on stage, and they hopped on and escorted a screaming Eddie off the stage and away from the crowd.  Jeff tossed his guitar to the floor, still cursing as he stormed off the stage.  Matt was still sitting behind the drums, unsure of what to do.  Stone picked up the mic and offered a hasty apology, but then handed the mic to their manager who issued another apology and offered refunds and all. The crowd was booing as Matt, Stone, and Boom hastily made their exits. 

Mackenzie was rooted to her seat, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She swallowed hard and stood up, grabbing her purse and jacket and made her way to the exit. Once she was outside, she called Stone’s number, but he didn’t pick up. Mackenzie hurried to her car and climbed in, locking the door behind her. She quickly texted Stone.

Mackenzie: I saw. I am so sorry. I have to go home. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.

Mackenzie dropped her phone in her purse and started her car, leaving the parking lot as fast as she could. She had to get away from Eddie.  She had caused so much damage, to not only him, but to the band if tonight were any indicator.  The best thing would be for her to get far away and never bother him again.

Chapter Text

She touched down at the Seattle-Tacoma airport, her pulse beating wildly in her chest as she claimed her bags.  Not for the first time did she almost immediately regret having made this decision to come back to Seattle.  Stone had called her, Jeff had called her, and even Mike had called her – all pleading with her to come and see Eddie.  Right now what she wanted to do was turn around, get back on the plane, and head back to Texas.   Eddie would never see her, and she couldn’t go through that heartbreak again. 

But she was here now, and Stone was outside and there was no turning back. She only had to endure it for a few days and then she could go back home again.  Just suck it up! She was still mentally coaching herself as she headed towards the exit. She walked out of the doors of the airport and looked around, forcing a smile as she saw Stone’s car waiting for her. He got out of the car and enveloped her in a quick hug, and Mackenzie struggled to not cry. She just got here.  She couldn’t cry yet!

“Hey sweetheart!” Stone took her bag from her hands and placed it in the trunk, slamming it shut and going to open the passenger door for her.

“Hi Stoney,” Mackenzie replied as she climbed inside.  Stone shut her door and quickly came back to the driver’s side and climbed in.

“How are you?” Stone asked as they eased out into traffic and exited the airport.

“I think I am going to pass out.”

Stone laughed as they made their way to the freeway and headed for the house.

“How is he? Really?” Mackenzie asked softly. She saw as Stone’s jaw tightened.

“Bad, Mack. Really bad. He’s holed himself up at the house. Wont’ rehearse, won’t do meetings with the guys. Mike and Jeff are pretty much through with him and his bullshit. You saw what happened at the concert.” He cut a sideways glance at her and she nodded. “Yeah, well they’re still pissed about that.”

“This is all my fault,” Mackenzie whispered as her throat constricted. Stone leaned over and patted her leg gently as he shook his head.

“No. No it’s not. You guys hit a rough patch and neither one of you is handling it well.” Stone glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Are you eating?”

Mackenzie blanched at his appraisal of her. She knew she looked like shit, but damn… “I’m doing alright.”

Stone laughed but there was no humor. “Okay. Same as Eddie. Look Mack. I want you guys to work it out, really I do, but if not, at least get some closure so you two can move on.”

“I don’t know what you think I can do, Stone.”

“Do you still care about him? Do you still love him?”

“Of course.” The tears threatened to choke her again. Of course she still loved the asshole. She didn’t know if she would ever stop, even if it killed her in the process.

“And he still loves you. Problem solved.”

“It’s not that easy,” Mackenzie retorted bitterly. “Remember the lawyer? He made me sign a fucking non-disclosure agreement.”

“And he left your ring. He wasn’t thinking straight, Mack. The man loves you and he’s falling apart with out you.”

“I feel like you are pressuring me to perform a miracle," she muttered quietly, but Stone didn't reply.  Mackenzie stared out at the forest, the open highway falling away to the thick trees that lined Puget Sound. They were getting closer and closer to the house and Mackenzie was getting more and more anxious. She suddenly felt like this was all a big mistake, maybe the biggest one she'd ever made.  Eddie would probably feel like he was ambushed and he would throw her out.  Her mind was racing with crazy thoughts as Stone pulled into the driveway.

There it was.

The house that she and Eddie had picked out together. The house they were going to get married in and have babies in and grow old together in.

“You ready?” Stone asked softly, pulling her from her reverie as he parked the car.

“No.”

Stone unbuckled with a chuckle. “It’ll be fine. Come on, Mack.”

Stone popped the trunk and climbed out of the car and Mackenzie slowly did the same. Her hands were sweating even in the chilly, wet air, and she felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest at any moment. She followed Stone up to the front door, her hands shaking as she pulled her beanie off once inside. Stone shut the door and pointed to the back porch.

“He’s probably out there. It’s where he’s always at.” Stone walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup for coffee. “I’ll be in here if you need anything.”

Mackenzie swallowed hard, forcing that lump down her throat as she made her way to the back porch.

Chapter Text

Mackenzie stood at the screen door, watching as Eddie tilted the wicker chair back and forth on one leg with his booted foot. He was huddled under a blanket, his hair sticking up everywhere. On the table next to him was a half-empty Corona and he had a cigarette in his hand. Mackenzie took a deep breath, summoning all her courage, and slowly opened the door. The rusted hinges on the door squeaked loudly in protest and Mackenzie winced at the sound.

“Eddie?” she whispered.  Eddie’s hand stilled momentarily at her voice, but just as quickly he picked up the beer and brought it to his lips. He set it back down on the table without turning to look at her.

“What do you want?” His voice was as gravelly as always, but there was a defeated tone to it. Mackenzie could feel her heart breaking all over again at this situation that they found themselves in. All because of one stupid decision…

“Stone…Stone and Jeff called. I wanted to come see how you are,” Mackenzie offered timidly. Eddie chuckled as he took another draw on his cigarette, blowing it out in a slow stream of smoke that disappeared quickly into the moist Seattle air. The rain was falling slowly and softly, a steady quiet that made Mackenzie feel guilty for even disturbing it with her words. She should not have come here, she realized that now.

“Look…Eddie…I know this is a mistake. I am sorry for coming here. I’ll just leave.” Mackenzie turned only to be halted by Eddie’s voice.

“Don’t go. Please.” Eddie turned and looked at her finally, and Mackenzie’s heart broke anew at the sadness she saw on his face. He was still the same beautiful Eddie that she loved, but his eyes were dull and listless, the laughter and humor there long gone. She blinked back tears knowing it was all her fault. This man that had one looked at life as a great big opportunity now looked defeated, a huddled shell of himself sitting lonely on a porch.

“Sit with me for a while, Mack?”

Mackenzie nodded and took a seat in the chair next to him. She stared out over the back yard and further out to Puget Sound. The waves were choppy, beating angrily at the shore, the back and forth tug-of-war that was the tide. Mackenzie sighed as she leaned back against her chair, inhaling the fresh scent that was clean air and rain and wet grass. She loved it here, the house and the deck and everything about it. She and Eddie had spent some of their best times here, and she would forever hold them in her heart, no matter what happened today.

“How have you been?” Eddie asked her. He, too, had turned back to stare out at the water, only stopping when he took a drink or another drag.

“Miserable. You?” Mackenzie answered honestly. No sense in lying about anything now…

“Did you see the show?”

“Uhm….yeah….” Mackenzie stammered out, not wanting to bring that up. Eddie chuckled as he ground out his cigarette.

“Then you know how I’ve been.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie. About everything. I never meant for this to happen, and I am so sorry.” Mackenzie was crying freely now, her tears rolling down her cheeks and dropping on her jacket. “I made a horrible, bad decision, and I would take it back in a heartbeat if I could, Eddie.”

Eddie said nothing. Mackenzie cut her eyes at him, chancing a quick glance, and she saw that he too was crying. Eddie was a very emotional person by nature, and he could be brought to tears easily, but when something really hurt him, you could read it on his face. His lips would screw up in an effort to not cry, his chin would tremble, and he would look away as he wiped at his silent tears, to try to hide them, just as he was doing now.  He cleared his throat, the sound seeming so loud in the quiet of the porch.

“I only ever wanted you, Eddie. When I saw those pictures, I thought you….well you know what I thought. I had called Brian earlier to pick his stuff up, and I was drinking and then it just happened. I was so hurt, and yes, I wanted you to feel how I felt.” Mackenzie sucked in a deep, shaky breath as she continued. She was so ashamed, but Eddie needed to hear this as much as she needed to get it off her chest.

“I am so ashamed to admit that, but I wanted you to know what I felt like. I can see how selfish that is now. I should have not jumped to conclusions, but I did and I am sorry, Eddie. I only ever wanted you.”

Mackenzie covered her face with her hands and sobbed, the weeks of loneliness and sadness and regret washing over her in waves. She barely felt Eddie’s hands around her wrists pulling her into his lap. He seated her on top of him and wrapped the blanket around them both, cocooning them against the cold, wet rain. Mackenzie cried into his chest as he cried against her hair, his tears falling down and mixing with hers as they grieved their relationship together. After a few minutes, Mackenzie’s tears had subsided, and she was sniffling against him when a giggle escaped her. Eddie’s hands stilled at her back where they had been rubbing up and down her spine.

“What?” he asked her, his deep voice rumbling against her cheek.

“When’s the last time you took a bath?”

“Are you saying I stink?” Eddie asked with another chuckle.

“Maybe a little,” Mackenzie said, giggling as she did so.

"Didn't have anyone to impress. Wanna take a shower with me?” Eddie asked, causing Mackenzie’s giggles to stop as her knees went weak from his suggestion. Did he really just say what she thought he’d said?

“Eddie?”

“I know what I am doing, Mack. I wanna make things right between us. If you do, that is,” he finished hurriedly, his tone changing as nervousness crept in. Mackenzie sat up and leaned back so that she could look at him better. Eddie offered a small smile. “I love you, Mack. No matter what. I wanna work this out if you do.”

“You still love me?” Mackenzie asked him. Her mouth had dropped open in shock and her brows drew together as she searched his face for truth.

“Of course I do. I am hurt, but I know you were hurt, too. I wanna start over.” He scooted her off his lap so that she could stand up and he followed, standing in front of her as he looked down at her with a smile. “We can start by taking a shower, cleaning all the shit off, and we go from there. What do you say?”

“You love me and you wanna take a shower with me?” Mackenzie could still not get her mind to wrap around this strange turn of events. Eddie chuckled again as he dropped the blanket on the chair and leaned down, lifting Mackenzie behind the legs and throwing her over his shoulder. He walked towards the door and opened it, carrying a gaping Mackenzie over his shoulder as he walked through the house. Stone looked up from the kitchen table where he was sitting. A huge smile broke out as he watched Mackenzie and Eddie come into the kitchen.

“I guess that’s my cue to leave, then?” Stone asked with a laugh. He shoved his cell in his pocket and pulled out his keys as Eddie nodded at him.

“Lock the door behind you,” Eddie called to Stone as he carried Mackenzie up the stairs and to their room.

Chapter Text

Once inside the bathroom, he helped her off his shoulder, holding her as she stood shakily before him. He leaned over and turned the shower on, letting the water warm, and turned his attention back to Mackenzie. He tilted her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look at him. Mackenzie was still in shock, and her chin was quivering with the effort to not cry anymore.  Eddie leaned down and lightly kissed her, hesitant at first, his lips warm against hers.  Mackenzie gripped his arms, her fingers clutching at his biceps as she held onto him.  It had been so long since she’d felt him against her, so long that she’d longed to feel his lips against hers.  Mackenzie groaned against his mouth, that sound urging him on as Eddie pulled her against him.  His kiss was no longer gentle, his lips no longer hesitant as his tongue sought out hers.  Eddie pulled at her lower lip urgently, his lips and teeth nipping and biting in need. He reached down and pulled her jacket off before pulling at her sweater and tee, stripping them both off quickly. Mackenzie stood before him in her bra and jeans, her cheeks heated as Eddie stared at her.

“You sure about this, Mack?” Eddie asked her in his gruff voice.

Mackenzie nodded, biting her lower lip in anticipation. Eddie’s eyes were drawn back down to her mouth, and he lightly traced her lip with his fingertip, earning a shiver from Mackenzie. He looked back into her eyes as he reached around her and undid her bra, his eyes never leaving hers. He pulled it off her arms and dropped it on the floor beside her as he pulled her into his chest, crushing her breasts against his stomach. Mackenzie wrapped her arms around him and snuggled against him, relishing the feel of his hard body pressed against her. Eddie hugged her tightly, his hands roaming across her bare back and down to her ass, where he cupped her and pulled her against him. She could feel his erection pressed into her stomach, proof of his growing need for her.

“We need to get in the shower. Now.” Eddie’s voice was strained as he pulled back from her. He dropped to his knees in front of her and undid her boot laces and helped her out of them. He pulled off her socks as well, grinning when he saw her bright pink toenails. He looked up at her with a grin and Mackenzie shrugged.  Some things never changed, one of which was her propensity to give in to the nail lady and let her paint her toenails in extremely bright colors.  Eddie resumed ridding her off her clothes, helping her quickly get out of her jeans and panties. He was still kneeling as he placed his hands at her hips, groaning as he leaned in and planted a soft kiss at the apex of her thighs. Mackenzie gripped his shoulders, unsteady on her feet with the feel of his mouth so close to where she needed him most.

“Fuck!” Eddie growled as he stood up and hugged her again. Mackenzie, impatient, reached around and undid his jeans, pushing at the waistband in an effort to remove them and Eddie helped her, kicking his boots off and pulling his jeans down and casting them aside.  His erection sprang free and Mackenzie whimpered in need as wetness pooled between her legs. She took Eddie’s hand and pulled him into the shower with her, pulling his mouth down to hers as the water cascaded down over them. Eddie pushed her up against the shower wall as his hand traveled down her body, his fingers finding her core warm and wet for him. He groaned into her mouth as he slid two fingers inside her, stretching her as his thumb circled her clit. Mackenzie released his mouth as she buried her face in his neck, her body moving against his fingers involuntarily.

“Oh god, Eddie! Oh god!” Mackenzie cried as she convulsed around his fingers, her nails digging into his back as she arched against him. She was still shuddering, her legs trembling against him as Eddie removed his fingers and brought them to his mouth, sucking her juices off as he smiled down at her.  Mackenzie flushed under his gaze, her cheeks pink with embarrassment at coming so fast.

“I’m sorry, Eddie…”

“Don’t be, babe. You’re fuckin’ hot when I get you off like that.” Eddie shifted her so that she was lifted off the ground, her legs wrapped around his waist as he pinned her to the wall. He positioned himself against her opening, his cock straining against her as he pressed forward. With a growl, her buried himself inside her fully, his balls tightening as he pressed against her. He leaned his forehead against her neck, his breathing labored as he struggled to control his body. Mackenzie moaned as she tangled her fingers in his hair, her legs tightening around his waist as she held him to her.

“Fuck me, Eddie. Fuck me hard!” she urged him, clenching at him from the inside. Eddie groaned as he slid out of her and slammed back in, his fingers biting into the flesh under her ass as he thrusted into her over and over again. Mackenzie could feel herself coming undone yet again, her orgasm rising even stronger than before as Eddie stretched her so fully.

“I’m coming, babe!” Eddie growled at her ear, and Mackenzie could feel him coming inside her, his cock twitching as he spurted inside her. It was enough to push Mackenzie over the edge again, her walls gripping him tightly and milking him for every last drop. Eddie slowed his movements, his breathing labored as he released Mackenzie’s legs, allowing her to slide down his body. He pulled out of her with a groan and leaned his head against the shower wall as Mackenzie stood up shakily. She moved so that she was under the shower head, the warm water cascading over her as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth. She hadn't felt this happy in such a long time...

She opened her eyes to see Eddie still leaned against the wall, his eyes closed as he tried to regain his bearings and she giggled, drawing his attention.  He opened his eyes and looked out of the corner at Mackenzie and broke out into a grin.

“What?” he asked her as he pushed off the wall and joined her under the water, his arms reaching around as his hands cupped her ass. 

“You’re out of shape, babe.” Mackenzie teased.  She ran her hands up his chest, delighting in the feel of his muscles under her fingertips. She would never get tired of seeing his chest, the dark curls wet against his sternum and his hard, pebbled nipples peeking out. Eddie wasn’t a huge man by any means, but he was solid, his muscles well-defined and his body gorgeous. She traced a finger down his stomach, following the lines of his happy trail before stopping just above his groin. Eddie arched an eyebrow at her in warning and Mackenzie giggled again as Eddie leaned over her and grabbed the body wash. He grabbed Mackenzie’s hands and squirted some in her palms before doing the same to his own hands.

“You wash me and I’ll wash you?” Eddie asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Mackenzie wanted to cry, finally seeing that light back in his eyes after so long.  Her Eddie was back.  Maybe things weren’t too broken. She blinked up at him rapidly, the tears threatening to fall.  Eddie’s face softened at Mackenzie’s emotional struggle and he pulled her to him once again, his hand cradling her cheek against his chest as he held her close.

“Don’t, babe. Don’t doubt it, and don’t doubt us. I love you and you love me, and we’ll figure this out together, okay?” He rubbed his hands up and down her back, kissing her temple softly. “I’ve never been so lonely in my life, Mack. I didn’t know what lonely was until this. I can’t go through that again.  I won't.”

“I love you, Eddie,” Mackenzie said softly, tilting her face up to look at him.

“I love you, Mackenzie.” Eddie leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. “Now turn around so I can wash your back."

Mackenzie turned around, glancing over her shoulder as she backed up into Eddie.  He hissed and she giggled as he pulled her to him, his arms circling her just below her breasts.

"We're not gonnna get a fuckin' thing done in here, are we?" he growled into her ear.  Mackenzie giggled again as his lips found her earlobe.

It would be another hour before they would actually get around to bathing....