Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

(real-time)
“Greg. Greg.”
I wake up in a cold sweat. Something was calling me. I look around my room. It appears to be the same. Same as it always has been. Maybe I was just dreaming. I mean I probably was.
“Greg Heffley!”
Oh. It was mom. Susan. My door swings open with a loud swoosh and in enters Susan Heffley stage left.
“Gregory. It's time for school.” She shouts and opens my window. The birds yell. They scream. I think they are afraid of heights. So am I. If I was a bird, I think I would also-
“GREG!”
Oh yeah. School. So, I get myself ready. And go to school, holding my diary in hand.

(4/5)
So I’m in class sitting at my normal seat next to the window. I love to look out the window and pretend I’m an anime protagonist. But I’m not. This isn’t anime. I’m staring out the window lmao. The teacher is talking about some ethical shid or something. Then I remember I am in a weird ethical class. I don’t really know why. Then I see something fall from the sky. It looked like a book. A journal. A… Diary…. I jump up and run out of the classroom hoping to get the diary. For some reason, the teacher didn’t care. Perhaps ethics.
I reach outside and I’m standing in front of the book. It looks like a diary. A plain black diary. I picked it up. It was kinda edgy. Then I praise god briefly. I needed a new diary, this is my last page. So, I take it home. This is the end for this diary. Tomorrow dawns a new day, a new era. Of the edgy diary…. If you didn’t really get it, I’m gonna stop writing here and writing in the edgy black one starting tomorrow. Okay bye I guess.

(5/5)
Heyyy. New diary who dis? Lol hello guys it’s me ya boy Greg. I’m writing in this dope ass new edgy diary. The paper is kinda supple ngl. I don’t know what that word means. Stupid teacher Mr Jones. Or should I say Mr Rick Jones told me to use big words. I hope he gets hit by a bus lmao. Anyways that’s all from me coz like school n shid. Lol bye.

(6/5)
Uh. So. I just found out Mr Jones died yesterday… He got hit by a bus. I’m 100% sure it was just some wacky coincidence but still… The principal gave a full-on memorial service and during it, Sally Ketchup farted. She’s so gross. Then Selina Pudding told her to f-off. I’m not actually writing the word because it’s a bad word and mom says people who write bad words go to hell. And I don’t want to be with Rodrick for the rest of eternity. Anyways Rowley is coming over before school. I think we are going to watch cocomelon.

(real-time)
“Hey, Rowley. Want to watch some cocomelon” I say as Rowley takes his shoes off at the front door.
“Zooweemama yeah!” Rowley exclaims. I shake my head. Ever since that one time he made a ‘Zooweemama’ joke he hasn’t stopped. It annoys me.

(7/5)
So Rowley came over and we were watching cocomelon when I swear, I saw some dark feathery figure. Rowley said it was nothing but then later he said he saw a floating apple. I think my house is haunted. Lmao. After we went to school and there was like another weird memorial service. Turns out Sally Ketchup and Selina Pudding both died of a heart attack… at the same time. Weirdchamp :/ anyways before Rowley left for some weird reason, he kept wanting to write his dad's full name. Like wtf bro? this my diary not ur stupid dads Robert Jefferson. SMH.

(real-time)
*BUZZ BUZZ* Ah frick my phone. I go and pick it up and hear sobbing from the other side.
“Greg…” It was Rowley. “My dad…” He managed to say between sobs. “He- he-“
“You good bro?” I ask. He’s not zooweemamaing anymore. It must be bad.
“My dad… he-“
Susan runs into the room clutching the house phone. “Robert Jefferson is dead.”
Rowley sobs even louder on the phone. I politely hang up on him. It’s obvious he isn’t in the right mindset to talk to anyone. Maybe he should talk to someone though…
“Greg?”
I look up at Susan- I mean mom.
“Were you listening to me?” She asks staring me down. I obviously was not. To busy narrating. “Rowley’s dad died of a heart attack 6 minutes and 40 seconds ago.”
6 minutes and 40 seconds… oddly specific. But if I think about it… that was when I was writing in my new diary. Hmmm. It can’t be related… or can it? I look up at mum. “That’s unfortunate,” I say, slowly closing my bedroom door.

(12/5)
It's almost been a week since I’ve written in this diary. So far, no one I’ve known has died of any heart attacks or any other causes. It’s almost like I’ve been killing them using this diary. Lmao imagine that. Ngl would be kinda pog. Anyways I went to Rowley’s dad’s funeral. Kinda boring. They deffs did not put the fun in funeral. Whatever tho. But like after me and Rowley went to go see the new cocomelon movie. It made him a lot happier. But what sucked is that after the movie some bullies – that definitely would want to be called thugs – came to bully us.
They were like to Rowley: “Oi what's ur name?”
And Rowley was like: “Rowley?”
And they were like: “Nah bro ur full name”
And he was like: “Rowley Jefferson”
And then they were like: “Haha stewped name” (Like they actually said stupid like stewped)
Anyways that sucked. Oh frick. Moms yelling at me to come down to dinner. Guess ill finish this off some other time

(13/5)
Rowley never came to school

(14/5)
Rowley hasn’t been answering my calls. He didn’t come to school either.

(15/5)
I’m worried about Rowley. No one has heard from him in 3 days. Not even his mom, Mrs Jefferson.

(16/5)
The police have got involved. No one has heard from Rowley. I hope he’s okay.

(20/5)
They found him. Rowley. My best friend.
Is dead.

Chapter Text

(20/5)
They found him. Rowley. My best friend.
Is dead.
They found him dead in his basement. Cause of death. Unknown. Mrs Jefferson wants to get an autopsy done. She thinks that someone murdered him. I don’t know why… but I feel guilty. Like somehow, I was the one who killed him. Like I killed my only friend…

(22/5)
I haven’t been eating.
I haven’t gone out.

(24/5)

They got the autopsy results back. Apparently. He died of a heart attack. At 8:06pm. 6 minutes after I finished writing in my diary. 6 minutes after I wrote his name-

(real life)
“Apple”
“AAAAAAAAH!!” I scream. Standing in front of me is a strange tall almost feathery thing.
“Don’t be so rude. Now, where’s an apple.” The thing asked me.
“I- I- how- how’d you get into my house?” I ask the thing. It looks at me puzzled.
“Oh shid. I forgot.” The thing cackles to itself. “Welp, better late than never.”
I could tell the thing was getting ready to monologue.
“I’m a Shinigami…uh…. That’s my notebook…. Uuuuuuh…. So basically, you like write someone’s name, full name, and- oh yeah you gotta picture them as you write it, anyway so you write someone’s full name while picturing them and a cause of death and that like kills them. Oh, and if you don’t write a cause of death, they die of a heart attack. I dunno why but I guess that’s just the standard or something…. uuuuh oh yeah! And once you write their name it takes 6 minutes and 40 seconds until they die. And that’s it. Oh, and once you use it you can like relinquish it or something and you lose all your memories of the death note. And like one you use it you cant go to heaven or hell or get reincarnated or find nirvana or whatever you believe in. You just kind of die? Yeah, so that’s it really.”
I’m dumbfounded. I don’t understand it. Nothing makes sense. He’s a Shinigami… whatever that is… and…. I killed Rowley? Using this… book? I also killed Mr Jones, Sally, Selina, Rowley's dad and…. Rowley?
“I- I don’t get it…. I didn’t kill them…” I say holding back tears. “I didn’t kill them.”
“Oh, but you did.” The Shinigami stares me down. “OH! By the way, my names Ryuk nice to meet ya!” he holds out his hand.
“I- I’m… Greg.” I take his hand and shake it.
“OI GREG!” Rodrick barges into my room.
“AAAH!!” I run and run the door on him. “Hide!” I whisper shout to Ryuk
“Who tf are you talking to weirdass.” Rodrick pushes open the door and I fling to the ground. I turn around and see Ryuk standing in the middle of the room.
“Relax Greg. Only people who touch the death note can see me.” Ryuk says. I sigh a sigh of relief.
“Anyways dinner is ready.” Rodrick turns and walks out of my room. I hide the death note under my bed and go down to dinner.

(24/5)
Is MAnNy.

(real life)
“Oh, hello little boy. What’s your name?”
“Manny.”
“Well, Manny. My names Ryuk. I’m a Shinigami and that’s my notebook.”
“Manny.”
“Do you want to write in it?”
*nods*
“Okay Manny here are the rules: you write someone’s full name while picturing them and a cause of death and after 6 minutes and 40 seconds they die. And if you don’t write a cause of death, they die of a heart attack. Only people who touch this cool book can see me. And you can relinquish it and that causes you to lose all your memories of the death note. And once you use it you can’t go to heaven or hell. Are you ready for all that responsibility Manny?”
“Manny.”
“Well, go-ahead Manny- wait where are you going. Come back here!”

---
“Hey. Where’s Manny?” I ask mum as we sit at the dinner table eating.
“He wanted to go to the potty. Oh, look here he is!” Mum looks behind me.
I turn around and see Manny. Behind him is Ryuk. I look at his hands… he’s holding a book… a black book… and a pencil. I jump up.
“Manny? Where’d you find that!” I shout at him urgently. “Manny! Answer me!” I shake him violently. "You rat! You demon child! You freaking war criminal!" He just stares at me with a devious smile.
“Greg calm down,” Dad says holding me back.
“Greg he’s just a child. Who cares if he reads your diary.” Mum says, staring adoringly at Manny.
I look at the little devil child that stands before me. He looks up at the clock.
“3, 2,” Manny whispers, loud enough for only me to hear.
“Manny-“
“1.”

Chapter Text

“Greg? Wake up?” Greg flops in his fathers’ arms. Lifeless.
“Greg! Oh, Greg are you okay! GREG?!” His family shouts over his dead body. For Greg is no more. His family calls an ambulance, but they were too late. They tell his family he died of a heart attack. His mother shouts, “But he was a healthy kid!”. His father looks puzzled. His older brother just stands there, unsure what to do. And the little one. The little stands, with a black notebook in his arms, a devious smile on his face. An unnerving light enters his eyes. For he is no longer the Manny his family knows. He finally, finally, got rid of his annoying brother. With this power, he can rid of all the people that have wronged him in his life. He looks up and his brother Rodrick. He could end his life here and now. But that would be too suspicious. He goes to turn around to go back to his room.
“Manny. Are you okay?” His mother through sobs. Manny just looks at her and nods. Pitiful human. He thinks to himself.

___
(time skip – 20 years later)

‘The deaths of innocent civilians are getting worse day by day. Yesterday a mere 245 people died of a heart attack, 6 minutes apart from each other. If you know anything about this please, let the polic- UH AAAJKAIJ
‘Jerry? JERRY? SOMEONE GET AN AMBULANCE. OH GOD HE’S HAVING A HEART ATTACK’

It's been 20 years and I, Manny, short for Manifred, Heffley have been purifying the world. The population of the united states has gone down from 328.2 million to 199.3 million. I am doing the worlds work. No. I am the world. I have committed various war crimes in my life, but this, this has been the best by far. The most enjoyable by far. The one that truly counts. I am purifying the world. There is no one up here. Only Manny.