Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“No way!” Arthur complained loudly, slamming the fridge door shut, emerging with a can of coke. “I can confidently say that it was the worst experience of my entire life.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Morgana tutted, “You couldn’t possibly have made up your mind about someone after one date!” She argued to deaf ears. 

“Please, the guy was an absolute idiot. I’ve never met anyone ruder in my entire life.” 

“Lance likes him,” Gwen chimed in, as if this was president enough for Arthur to do a one-eighy and fall madly in love instead. 

Leon had known Arhur since he was a kid. They’d both been at school together, and lived just across the street from one another. Morgana, after losing her parents at a young age, had moved in with her cousin, and by default had forged a friendship with Arthur’s pals. He genuinely adored them both, they were some of the best people he knew. Right now though, he wanted them gone. 

“Oh, Lance likes him? Well, then he must be a good guy.” Arthur mocked, “God forbid Lance being wrong.” he muttered, earning a glare from Gwen. Her and Lance, or Lancelot, as he was actually named; yet never called, had been dating for the better part of a year, but acted like they’d been married for ten. Leon had been introduced to Gwen in correlation to his roommate, Elyan, and as a bonus, met Lance as well. 

“You always do this,” argued Morgana, “Every time you like someone, you find flaws in them to avert from the fact that you’ve got it bad for them. Why do you insist on being miserable?” 

Leon caught Elyan’s eyes from across the room. His roommate was propped onto their couch with a laptop in his lap, avoiding the entire discussion happening in their kitchen. They’d first met at uni when they were assigned roommates in their first year. By the end of their first week, two things were apparent about the other boy:

1. He was extremely quiet. One of the shyest people Leon had ever met. Perhaps that wouldn’t have been such a clash for him, if he hadn’t grown up with people like Morgana and Arthur, who both radiated confidence. Maybe that’s what happened when you grew up irrefutably wealthy. One of the wealthiest families in the United Kingdom no less.

2. Elyan was one of the nicest people Leon had ever encountered. Another huge difference between him and his childhood chums. Sure, Arthur and Morgana weren’t bad people, but growing up with more money than one could ever think to spend, did tend to make people into unintentional snobs. Elyan wasn’t like that. He was sweet and attentive. And once he opened up, he was truly one of the funniest guys on the planet. Leon imagined that if the prospect of relationships tempted him, that someone like Elyan would be the one he’d fall for. 

“I’m just saying it was a bad date, can we leave it at that?” Arthur’s words took him out of his thoughts. The subject of the infamous date had been haunting their home for the better part of a week, and every time it was brought up, it was always the same conversation. 

It wasn’t that long ago since Arthur had come out as a bisexual and finally stripped away his overplayed charade of a dude-bro straight guy. Leon had always known Arthur was into men, it had been as obvious to him as it had been Morgana, yet neither wanted to push, and now that he was finally out, Morgana was insistent on setting him up with every guy she could think of, to quote on quote, ‘catch him up on what he’d been missing’. 

Recently, such a set-up had been with a guy named, brace yourself, Merlin , which everyone found extremely amusing. Everyone who wasn’t Arthur that is, because the miserable sod lacked any sense of humour when it came to these sorts of things. The date had apparently been terrible in Arthur’s opinion, and if Leon hadn’t known him so well, perhaps he’d buy into Arthur's little act of hating him. As it was though, he was certain that Arthur was beyond smitten. 

Elyan closed his laptop swiftly, and vanished from the room.  The other three paid him no attention. Elyan and Leon’s flat had become the group's equivalent of Rome, all roads seemed to lead to it. The flat had become the standard hang out spot for the group, sometimes it even felt like the entire gang lived there. Not a day went by when Gwen didn’t abuse her key privilege, showing up with some freshly baked bread in the morning, or a new bouquet of flowers for the windowsill. Or Morgana ordered interior design stuff online to ‘liven up the place’. Or Arthur showed up at ungodly hours of the night to sleep on their couch. 

Leon thought briefly that perhaps it was time to change the locks, or simply move and not disclose their new location. 

***

Elyan loved his sister, he really did. He truly believed that Gwen was one of the sweetest souls to have ever walked the earth, and obnoxiously, she’d found someone equally sweet to walk through life with her. That being said, the girl needed to learn some boundaries, and he was five seconds away from throwing her out of his room. 

Currently, she was rummaging through his closet and making an absolute mess out of everything. “I’m just saying, it wouldn’t hurt for you to make a bit of an effort sometimes.”

“We go to the same pub every week Gwen.” It had become tradition to spend their Friday evenings getting pissed. There was a nice pub beneath their flat about the size of a shoebox, drenched in a wine red colour, that smelled like piss and nicotine. Elyan simply loved it. Especially since it didn’t require him opening his mouth more than necessary. All his friends become even louder than usual after a few drinks, if that was even possible, and in turn were noisy enough to get Elyan off the hook. 

“Yes, and every week is the bloody same. How do you expect to ever meet anyone if you show up in a dirty hoodie? Take this as you will E, but you’re not an unattractive guy. So maybe it’s time you stop dressing like one!” She finished firmly, throwing a plaid shirt his way and leaving the room to give him space to change. It was red and black, a bit big. He couldn’t even remember buying it, assuming that it had come from his experimental phase at university when he was dating Emma. 

Elyan was infamous for his lack of social skills, and Emma had been famously swell at carrying entire conversations with herself. She didn’t care that Elyan didn’t talk much, she relished in buying him clothes and being one of the only people her boyfriend conversed with. For a while they were really happy, and that was all that mattered. Then in came Josh, and Emma had quickly fallen head over heels for him. Elyan had understood, or at least he acted as if he did because he wasn’t one to display his emotions left and right. In fact, he more often than not pushed them all so deep inside and locked them up, pretending that nothing truly phased him. 

He hadn’t really dated anyone since, because he’d never been good at the whole dating ordeal, nor normal human interactions for that matter. His current friendships as they were had been utter miracles. Half his friend group was just Leon’s childhood friends, and both Arhur and Morgana terrified him. Especially Morgana, who was immeasurably beautiful, witty and ghastly frightening. Elyan was certain Morgana Le Fay could obliterate him in an instant if she so wished. 

Then there was Lance, of course, who was as close to perfect as one could be. He was truly the ultimate future brother-in-law, and always an excellent house guest. The others had a tendency to just barge in, but Lance always made sure to knock, to respect that one did not enter specific rooms, and he never made a mess. 

And Leon… Thank God for Leon, because Elyan could not have functioned without him. When Elyan had told Leon that he was pan, the other boy had bought him a cake. (“This is my way of telling you I’m ace by the way.”) When Emma had broken up with him, Leon had taken him out and gotten him so pissed that Elyan couldn’t stand up properly the next day. After they both had graduated nearly a year ago now, Leon had said “Let’s be flatmates” and then they’d found their flat, and moved in together. Leon was his best friend, the reason his social circle expanded beyond his sister and her boyfriend. For a split second, he was filled with so much affection for his friend, he could nearly combust. 

When he entered the living room, Gwen and Leon shared a look before she said: “Told you.”

***

It was uncommonly crowded in the pub. Leon got more action in two minutes of squeezing through sweaty bodies, than he’d had for his entire life. He settled in their usual booth with Elyan and Arthur, as Morgana went to fetch drinks. Gwen was out in the cold waiting for Lance to arrive. Her and Morgana had shared mischievous looks ever since they’d arrived, and Leon was sure the pair was up to something. As usual, he decided to stay out of it for plausible deniability later on. 

“Bloody men,” Morgana exclaimed, setting down the tray as she returned. “I do not need them to pay for my drinks, I am filthy rich! I could probably buy up the place if I so pleased.” She quickly glared at a guy from across the room who was frantically waving at her and flipped him the bird. “The next man who doesn’t respect a no will get punched.” 

“Cheers.” Gwen said, appearing at her side. With her was Lance and another guy Leon did not recognise. A tall, lanky fella with dark hair and an awkward look on his face. It only took a groan from Arthur for Leon to connect the dots. 

“You must be Merlin,” He heard himself say, standing up to shake the other boy's hand. Leon made sure to exaggerate his greeting as much as possible to annoy Arthur as much as he could. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

The other boy quickly glanced Arthur’s way before turning back to Leon. “Oh, really?”

Morgana and Gwen’s mischievous looks suddenly made a whole lot of sense. Gwen made sure to introduce everyone to Merlin, and Leon made sure to place him next to Arthur. A lot of the time, Leon felt that just because he lacked his own love life, it meant he was automatically expected to care deeply for his friends' relationships. For the most part he couldn’t be bothered, but today, when the opportunity had arisen, he took his chance to have a little fun with it. 

Arthur looked murderous. Leon was thrilled. 

“So, Merlin. What do you do?” 

“He’s going to be a doctor,” Gwen answered in his place, “Just like his uncle. Right, Merlin?” Merlin just nodded, looking sheepish. 

“And he does a lot of volunteer work, that’s where him and Lance met.” Morgana added. Merlin’s blush was impossible to miss.

“A doctor eh?” Leon asked, “Then what the hell were you doing out with Arthur then?” 

“I am the heir to one of the biggest companies in Britain.” Arthur said, defensively. 

“Don’t forget the biggest prat at this table.” Merlin mumbled. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Everyone had heard. The girls were giggling madly, Elyan looked as if Christmas had come early, and even Lance seemed to find the whole ordeal amusing. 

“Nothing.” Merlin replied, innocently. 

“Ten pounds on that they’ll be snogging at the end of the evening.” Morgana whispered to him.

“Not fair, you’re going to win.” 

***

His head felt heavy, it usually did after a few drinks. Elyan leaned back in the booth and executed his special skill: observation. A blind person could feel the tension between Arthur and Merlin, as they bickered throughout the evening. Elyan couldn’t help but notice how much this seemed to please Leon, who was probably enjoying himself a bit too much. He noted Morgana, who after a glass of whiskey often started singing under her breath. Today she’d chosen ‘circle of life’ from the Lion King, and if Elyan had possessed a bit more nerve, perhaps he’d ask her why. There was also the urge to gouge his eyes out at the sight of Gwen shoving her tongue down Lance’s throat. He’d never get used to that. 

He quickly averted his eyes and let them land on a pair across the room. A tall and muscled guy who felt like the type of person you crossed the street for. Without the obvious smile on his face, Elyan would be terrified. Next to him was another guy with shoulder length hair and a handsome face that had surely broken a lot of hearts. Elyan’s eyes returned to the taller one. He was laughing at something, and Elyan really wanted to know what. For the briefest moment, he caught the man's eyes, and with the speed of lightning,  he looked away.

“What’re you looking at?” Leon whispered to him. No response necessary, Leon looked up and caught sight of the men. “Ah, I see.” A smile crept on his friend's face. “Want me to go over there?”

“What?” Elyan exclaimed in panic. “You wouldn’t!”

“Wouldn’t I though?” 

“What?” Morgana asked. 

“I think Elyan here has a little crush.”

“I do not!” He said defensively. 

Morgana quickly scanned the room trying to detect whom Leon had been referring to, and Elyan thanked the heavens that his friends were self-absorbed enough for this to not be blown out of proportion. His sister on the other hand was not, and had caught onto the conversation.

“Did my shirt work? Are you actually going to get some for once?” Gwen had a tendency to be a bit light on the tongue whilst drunk, which she always got whilst drinking, because she was the biggest lightweight on the planet. 

“Is it those two over there?” Morgana’s pointing was a bit too obvious. “Which one is it? The tall one? I bet it’s the tall one.” 

“Who?” Now Arthur had joined in as well, which meant that all the attention was on this now. Great! Elyan wished the ground would swallow him whole. 

Morgana made an obvious gesture with her head, causing everyone who hadn’t already seen the pair to do it now. To everyone’s surprise it was Merlin who spoke first. “Gwaine?” Then a bit louder. “Gwaine.” Which caused the shorter guy to look up at them. His face broke into a huge smile when he saw Merlin.

“Merlin!” He exclaimed, getting up. The taller guy, much to Elyan’s dismay, stayed put. “What are you doing here?” 

For a split second Merlin caught Arthur’s eyes before he said, “Not much. Out with some mates. Guys, say hi to Gwaine.”

Morgana quickly stretched out her hand. “Morgana Le Fay” She said in that flirty way she always did when meeting someone new. Elyan was pretty sure she was unaware of it, because she was a lesbian, and was not trying to make a move. Perhaps that was Morgana’s burden, being too damn perfect. 

Gwen was next, “I’m Gwen,” she smiled. “This is Lance.” Once again, married. 

“How do you do?” Lance also extended his hand. Bloody manners. 

“Leon,” his friend nodded, “And this is Elyan.” He was grateful Leon had spared him from opening his mouth. 

Everyone looked expectantly towards Arthur, who was fuming for some reason. Morgana kicked him under the table quickly, Elyan knew because she’d accidentally hit him first. “Arthur Pendragon.” Was it a rich people thing to introduce yourself by using your last name?

“Pendragon, as in Pendragon Industries?” Gwaine looked impressed. 

“Yeah.” 

“Holy crow, Merlin how’d you manage that? He’s like one of the richest people in Britain.”

Arthur raised an amused eyebrow at that. “I like your friend Emerys, good to know someone has taste.” Merlin simply glared back at him, “Gwaine was it? Why don’t you join us?”

“I’d love to, but I’d better get back to Percy.” He gestured towards the tall guy, now alone at the table. 

“Invite him over as well.” Arthur’s words made Elyan jump, causing everyone to look at him.

“Everything ok mate?” Leon asked, Elyan couldn’t do anything but nod. He was utterly embarrassed. 

*** 

It might have been the best evening of Leon’s life. He couldn’t quite remember a time when he’d enjoyed himself this much. Gwaine had brought his friend Percy over, and Elyan was undescreetly sneaking glances. The big guy didn’t seem to mind though, as Leon quickly realised there was more heart than brain in that boy. He considered the best way to put them together. Perhaps that was a bit hypocritical, considering he always complained about his friends using him as their personal relationship counselor. Yet, when it came to Elyan it was different. His friend wasn’t out and about, meeting people left and right, he needed an extra push, and Leon was ready to be the one to do it. 

*** 

Gwaine had brought with him a loud persona that made their already rowdy table even more chaotic. The tall guy, now known to Elyan as Percy, seemed really nice. There was something about him that made Elyan want to know him. Something that caused his insides to flutter, which was an unusual feeling for him. Not that Percy had said much to Elyan since he’d first sat down at their table, but still. He was just pleasant to listen to. 

Leon nudged his shoulder a bit, “Watch this.” He whispered. “Hey Arthur, can I ask you something?”

“Piss off.” Arthur was nursing a bottle between his hands. Despite Arthur’s initial excitement at Gwaine’s arrival at their table, it now seemed to have simmered away as he glumly watched Merlin and Gwaine engage in conversation.

“Truth or dare?” Leon pressed on.

“I will actually smother you with a pillow.” Leon didn’t say anything else, just gave Arthur a look. “Truth.”

“Are we playing truth or dare.” Morgana loudly exclaimed, gaining full access to everyone's attention.

“Oh fun, I want to play!” Gwen shimmed in excitedly. 

“Hey Arthur, dare you to kiss Merlin.” Morgana continued. It was incredible how much poise she had after so many drinks, compared to Gwen who looked like she would crumble if Lance wasn’t there to support her. 

“That’s not how the game works,” Arthur argued, “I chose truth.”

“Fine.” Leon retorted. “How badly do you want to kiss Merlin? Remember, you have to be honest.”

It all seemed a bit cruel in Elyan’s opinion, everyone just ganging up on Arthur like that. He didn’t dare voice that opinion though, because chances were that he was next. Everyone seemed very aware of his newfound attraction to Percy, and even Gwaine who’d he’d known for less than an hour, seemed to have picked up on it. Better Arthur than him, he thought selfishly. 

“I don’t.” 

“That’s not what you said last time.” Merlin muttered. He clearly fell into the category of people who could not hold their drink. 

Arthur’s eyes got wide, his entire face going a scarlet colour. The smile on Leon’s face was bloody brilliant, you could tell this was a highlight of his existence. Both Morgana and Gwen let out two deafening shrieks. Morgana especially, who was laughing harder than Elyan had ever seen her laugh before. 

“Merlin, you slut.” Gwaine commented in his default amusement, patting the other guy on the back in an exaggerated gesture. 

Elyan accidentally caught Percy’s eyes, and the other guy smiled at him. He seemed a bit confused by the entire thing, probably because he had zero context to the situation. It upset Elyan that he’d never see him again after tonight. Especially when he hadn’t had a chance to talk to him yet.

“Blasphemy!” Arthur exclaimed. “Slander! I will sue you guys, this is a fucking threat.” 

“Not a very good one,” Morgana retorted. “You’re forgetting we share the same fortune. Feel free to sue yourself for your own money.” Arthur was dumbstruck. 

“Shut up.” He muttered, defeated. 

“Can we circle back to Arthur wanting Merlin’s kisses?” Gwen mused. 

“Can we just drop it please!” Arthur stormed off before anyone could say another word. 

***

One thing about Arthur, he was a very tense individual with a very hot temper to follow. Leon knew that dating guys was really new for him, and yeah, perhaps teasing him throughout the entire evening had been a bit much. At least he’d felt that way before Merlin had followed Arthur out, and had shoved his tongue down the other’s throat. After that he lacked much remorse. 

It was intriguing how effectful alcohol was in loosening someone like Arthur up. If the man had been sober he would have shoved Merlin away, Leon just knew it. As it was though, the pair was doing some obscenely inappropriate things pressed up against a wall, and Leon couldn’t look away. It was horrifically graphic, yet he found himself mesmerized by this public display of affection. 

Next to him was Elyan. Unlike Arthur, the chances of Elyan scoring tonight was slim. Especially since he hadn’t mustered up the confidence to say two words to Percy. It drove Leon mad. He was five seconds away from doing something extremely stupid. Like… giving Percy Elyan’s number, or asking him out on Elyan’s behalf. Both ideas sounded terrible, Leon knew that. Not even alcohol could make those ideas sound good. 

***

Elyan helped Morgana into a taxi. She clinged to his arm like her life depended on it, and she sported a brilliant smile as she did so. “Thank you love.” she kissed him softly on the cheek before getting inside. It left a burning feeling on his cheek. Maybe he was a tiny bit in love with her, the way everyone was. 

Arthur and Merlin had vanished a while back to lord knows where. Elyan would rather not know. Lance had steered Gwen into a taxi, supporting her the entire way from their stool at the pub to the back seat of the car. He was so good with her, Elyan was glad that his sister had found someone so great. Especially since he knew how good she was back. He knew that despite Gwens inevitable impending hangover, she’d still come knocking the next day with some breakfast. 

“Mind if I get in with you guys?” Gwaine asked Lance, who was quick to assure it was no bother. 

“You’re not going with him then?” Leon turned to Percy who hadn’t made a move. 

“I just live down the street, don't really need a lift for that. I can walk.”

Elyan froze. Percy lived down the street. He lived down the street. 

“Alone in the dark?” The first words he’d said to Percy, and it was that. “I just mean, well, it’s dangerous.” He stumbled over his words as he quickly made his way through the sentence. 

“It’s not far.” Percy didn’t seem to notice what a mess Elyan was. 

“Oh… ok then.”

“I think Elyan’s right though, it's not good to walk alone in the dark. We’ll come with you.”

 And so they did. It was only a five minute walk, and Elyan said next to nothing during it. 

“Well, it was nice meeting you guys.” Percy said. “Maybe I’ll see you around?” 

“Of course.” Leon said nudging Elyan. “Right E?”

“Right.” He nodded. 

“Well then.” Percy left without much more to say.

“You’re fucking emberassing.” Elyan said once the taller man had left them, shoving Leon’s side lightly. 

“What?” Leon laughed. “Someone has to make a move. If you’re not going to do it, then I will.”

“Is this you coming out to me as a sexual being then?” They both caught the other’s eyes before bursting out laughing.

Chapter Text

It was too early for the sun to be so bright. All Elyan wanted to do was get some bloody coffee, and instead he found himself squirming away from light like he was some sort of creature of the night. Suppose that’s what Monday’s does to a person. Turns them into vampires. Especially when it was before eight am. 

Just down the street from their flat, laid a nice little coffee shop with cheap coffee and overpriced sandwiches and biscuits. Elyan liked the idea of supporting small businesses, and had made it his go-to coffee place. Every now and then he’d even treat himself to something sweet, like a raspberry scone or a brownie. Today was not one of those days. The line was longer than usual and it really didn’t help that the tiny building had a tendency to get really hot. When it was finally his turn to order, he was positively drenched in sweat. 

“What can I get you love?” Elena asked him. At this point Elyan knew every employee there, and they knew him back. There were only three anyways, so it wasn’t exactly an accomplishment. Elena was still at uni, working in the shop part time. She’d told Elyan how much she loved baking growing up, and how interesting it was to learn new recipes. She always lit up every room she entered with her smile, and he was glad it was her who took his order today, because he really needed some cheering up.

“The usual.” Normal black coffee. 

“Coming right up.” Which it did. Elena only dropped two things today, which was better than usual. She was a bit of a cluts, but everyone has an achilles heel, and Elyan supposed this was hers. He paid her quickly and bid her goodbye before the que got any longer and the workload got too much. The place really had started kicking off ever since they’d upped their social media game with an Instagram Elyan had helped them create. The wonders of the internet. Completely worth his bachelor in Computer Science. He might be drowning in debt, but hey, at least he could set up a decent instagram account. 

The sun didn’t feel half bad after some coffee. Not at all actually, it was quite a lovely day. Once he was out of the shop he wasn’t drowning in the scent of body odor and stuffiness. He let his eyes take in his surroundings, allowing his lungs to breathe in some fresh air before he was forced down the basement at work. He worked as IT support for a shit company that scammed people with terrible products. Once again, totally worth all the student loans to live the dream, earning a half decent paycheck that was enough to put food on his plate, alright colleagues that for the most part left him to his own devices, and a basement secluded from all other life in the building. 

He tried not to think about it too much. Instead he looked at the clouds, the shapeless clouds that he couldn’t for the life of him, make anything out of but big fluffy puffs in the sky. He looked at the concrete. A cigarette stub, or twenty, thrown onto the ground with no greater care for how it could catch fire to the small trees planted along the street. Graffitied benches, spewed with profanities and willy drawings, there to scandalise the elders. It was all a bit terrible, but also kind of great. And then his eyes landed on something in front of him. 

Percy. 

The guy from the pub on Friday. What was he supposed to do now? Ignore him? Probably, a normal person would most likely do that seeing as they didn’t actually know each other and had barely talked at all. But now he’d been looking for too long, what if Percy had sensed it. Should he just say hello or should he just go drown himself? In the end, Percy did catch his eye, and Elyan did absolutely nothing as his entire body tensed up in panic. What now?

***

After snoozing a third time, Leon decided enough was enough. He was awake, alright. No use in pretending he wasn’t, sleep was done for the night. He stretched out his limbs, letting out a loud yamn. Elyan had gone to work already so the flat was presumably empty. Or so he thought until he entered the living room and found a wild Arthur Pendragon drooling on their couch. 

“Wake up you lazy bastard,” he kicked Arthur lightly, but the other man wouldn’t relent. “Arthur, I will go fetch a bowl of water and throw it all over you.”

Arthur shot up instantly, “I’m up.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Sleeping?”

“Yes, I know that. I mean, what are you doing here at eight am? Aren't you supposed to be at work?”

“Shit,” Arthur rubbed the sleep out of his eyes quickly, before frantically searching for his phone. “Fuck, goddamnit. My father is going to kill me. Do you think they’d buy it if I called in sick?”

“No.”

“Well,” Arthur took a pause to think. “They have to believe me, because I am their boss's son.” He didn’t sound entirely convinced by that. Uther Pendragon was a scary man, and someone you don't mess with. Sure, somewhere deep inside, affection for his son lay hidden inside the old man's heart. Externally though, this was impossible to see. Arthur got no special treatment from him, even though he was his son, if anything, Arthur got it even worse. “Speaking of people who should be at work.”

“My first period isn’t until ten.” Leon said simply, turning on their kettle. “Tea?”

Arthur’s focus had shifted towards his phone, and made a thumbs up towards Leon. Once the tea was finished, Leon set down two mugs on the coffee table, and turned on the telly. 

“You never answered my question.”

“Huh?” Arthur was still distracted. 

“Of why you’re here.”

“Oh. Well, I was out with Merlin yesterday, and your flat was closer than mine.”

“How’d you even get in?”

“Elyan. I’m pretty sure he’s terrified of me.”

“Well, you are kind of an arrogant dick.”

“Hey!”

“Well, it’s true.” Leon chuckled. “A pompous prat. Who’s still going out with Merlin Emrys I see.” Arthur’s face quickly turned into a frown, but Leon sipped his tea innocently. “How’s that going by the way?”

Arthur hesitated for a moment, before answering, “Fine. Let’s not discuss it.”

And that was the end of it.

***

“Hi, Elyan, right? We met the other week.”

Elyan was still frozen still, yet grateful Percy had made the first move. “Yeah, hi.” He said awkwardly, with what he presumed was a very uncomfortable looking smile. 

“What brings you here?” Elyan held up his mug, making sure the shop's logo was visible. “Ah, I see. You drink a lot of coffee then?”

“It’s sort of a requirement when you work at an office. What else are you supposed to do in the break room? Talk to people?” This earned Elyan a laugh. It was weird, him making people who weren’t Leon laugh. Or him saying anything at all. He didn’t know why he’d even said all of that, but hearing Percy’s laugh made him glad he did.

“You’re funny. I like that.” Please don’t let Percy notice his blush. 

“So…” Elyan trailed off trying to keep the conversation going. “Do you like coffee?” He realised quickly how stupid and childish that sounded. His social ineptness really loved to show itself at the worst of times.

“Don’t really drink it, not good for the body.”

“No break room pressure then?”

“Nah. I’m a personal trainer, most of my colleagues don’t really drink coffee, or alcohol, or anything other than water really. Maybe some occasional milk.”

“That’s…”

“Shit, yeah.” Percy finished for him. “I’m not really that extreme, but I never really liked coffee growing up, so being a PT has really given me the perfect excuse to swear it off in my adult years without judgment.”

“Clever.”

“Isn’t it?”

***

“Arthur, hurry up. I really need to leave.” He banged on the bathroom door for a third time. 

“I told you to go like five minutes ago.” Arthur shouted out from the other side of the door. 

“I am not leaving you alone here, you don’t have a key to lock up.” 

“That’s what you think.”

“What was that?”

***

Elyan really could’ve stayed and talked to Percy for an eternity. If he didn’t have work to get to, he probably would. Percy had tried convincing Elyan to get a gym membership, and had even offered to trade numbers if he was ever interested. He really, really wasn’t. He didn’t mind training, but he’d sworn off gyms after a terrible experience at uni. After that, jogging was his best friend. He really, really, didn’t mind having Percy’s number though. A number he’d never call, but was secretly really pleased to have.

He read the message Percy had sent himself from Elyan’s phone: Hi Percy, this is Elyan from the pub. You know, one of the guys Gwaine ditched you for. Turns out Percy could also be funny. 

“Why’re you smiling?” Was the first thing he was greeted by as he stepped into the basement. The IT department he worked for contained of three people. Himself, who actually handled the support part of the department, taking calls where he advised people on what was wrong with their computers, and the occasional visit to the upper floors where he had to fix the really bad damages. 

Kara, who worked as the relationship manager, and knew fuck all about computers, and everything else about convincing their boss that their department was a valuable asset to the company and a hardworking section that deserved all the credit it got. And Mordred, another computer service provider who knew more about computers than anyone on the planet, who’d obnoxiously asked him why he was smiling, as if smiling was the crime of humanity. 

“I wasn't.” 

“Was too,” Kara shimmed in, with way more interest and enthusiasm than Mordred had possessed. “Spill.”

“Piss off,” He said, putting on his headphones. Work was the only place he actually felt slightly comfortable. Only with Kara and Mordred of course, the rest of the building was terrifying, but their floor in the basement was a safe place. If Elyan's social skills were bad, Mordred’s were a thousand times worse. The man acted like an alien who’d just arrived on the planet Earth. Kara was the complete opposite, but she wasn’t very well liked anyways, due to her radical political statements and a head filled with strong opinions that intimidated most men. 

Everyone except Mordred, whom Elyan was certain she was hooking up with. He’d never dared to question them on it, because really, it was none of his business. It didn’t have any affect on his job, and Kara showed no special treatment towards him, and therefore Elyan concluded that whatever may or may not be between them, was something that was better left unsaid. 

A couple of hours passed without anything noteworthy happening, Elyan’s earbuds staying in nearly the entire time. Around lunch, Kara tapped on him and asked him if he wanted to join them for a bite, which he reluctantly agreed on. 

During lunch he let his eyes drift towards the message Percy had sent from his phone, reading it over and over again. “Who’s Percy?” Kara asked, reading over his shoulder. Shit. 

“No one.” He quickly shut his phone off, but the damage was already done.

“Is Percy the reason you were smiling this morning?” Mordred asked. 

Kara didn’t wait for a reply, “It totally was.” She cooed. “Our little Elyan has got himself a crush.” She pinched him lightly on his left cheek. “Absolutely adorable, look Mord, he’s blushing.” He swatted her hand away quickly.

“Piss off.” A phrase that he seemed to be using a lot today. 

Kara’s smile grew wider. “I’m really happy for you, you know?” She continued. “I think it’s really nice that you’ve found someone.”

“I haven’t found anyone,” He countered, “Percy is just a new acquaintance. Nothing more.”

“Mhm.” Kara did not look convinced. 

***

“Mr. Taylor, wait up.” Leon looked back to see the voice that had called his name. It was Sarah, one of his students, frantically waving a book in her hands. Once she caught up she was out of breath, hunching forward in an attempt to catch it. “I found it!” She exclaimed. “Look!” She proclaimed proudly, holding out a worn out copy of Louisa May Alcott's classic “Little Women”. 

Leon taught secondary school english, his students ranging in ages. Sarah’s class had just started reading “The Great Gatsby”, which Leon found absurd for a group of fourteen year olds. He’d never quite liked the novel, he got enough arrogant rich people growing up to last him a lifetime. So when a student had asked him his own thoughts on itl, he’d answered honestly that he’d never cared for it and recommended his students a bunch of other classics instead, which he thought were simply superior. 

Sarah had apparently thought “Little Women” sounded interesting enough to give it a read. It warmed his heart to know that things he said made an impact. “That’s great.”

“Yeah, my mum’s always loved this one. She always used to say, ‘Sarah, Little Women is one of the finest pieces of literature out there, and I will disown you if you don’t read it.’” Leon had met her mother, the impersonation was impeccable. “Anyways, I didn’t stop you for the book, well, not only because of the book. I have a question about today’s lesson as well.”

“Shoot.”

“Well, we were discussing the narrative voice, and you mentioned that Nick was a very judgmental person because he mentions being open minded, but spends the novel shaming people.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, it got me thinking. Isn’t that just school? Our teachers tell us they believe in us and that they’re free from judgment, but they still put a letter on us to mark our worth. Judge our abilities, and secretly favour some whilst being extra critical towards others. And that’s not even taking judgement towards sexuality, religion and nationality into account.”

“Wow.” That was all he could think to say. “How’d you get so clever, ay?”

“The internet.” She proclaimed proudly. 

***

“Honey, I’m home! And I’m fucking exhausted.” Leon threw himself next to Elyan on the couch, who had to shift away to not have Leon land right on him. He wasn’t keen on breaking his computer. He really couldn’t afford to replace it right now. 

“Long day?” 

“When the fuck did fourteen year olds get so clever? When I was fourteen I was play-fighting with sticks and kicking around a football, not making interpretations of The Great Gatsby.” 

“Tea?”

“Yes please.” Elyan stood to put on the kettle. 

“Tell me about your day please, so I can forget for a second I have papers to grade.”

Elyan hesitated for a moment. Should he tell Leon what had happened today? Sure, he didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it was, especially since it wasn’t a big deal to begin with. But on top of that, he felt horrible hiding this from Leon. The guy was his best friend after all, and deserved the truth. 

“I ran into Percy today,” He finally said, turning away so he couldn’t see Leon’s expression, which he imagined had formed an obnoxious grin by now. 

“Oh?”

“Piss off.” There it was again.

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing….” When Elyan turned around he was met with one of Leon’s famous looks. A raised eyebrow and a slight tilt of his head to the side, that clearly said, ‘I don’t believe a word you just said.’ “Fine, he tried to convince me to join his gym and exchanged numbers.”

“Ha!”

“It’s not funny.”

“It is though?” Leon had sprawled himself all over the couch.

“Not as funny as you bathing in Arthur Pendragon’s sweat.” Elyan laughed. Leon threw a pillow his way which Elyan easily ducked. 

“God, you’re gonna have to stop letting him in, he has his own home you know? He can’t contaminate our couch forever. Did you know he has a spare key to our flat?” Elyan handed Leon his mug and kicked him lightly to make some room for himself.

“They all do.” He replied simply, taking a sip of his tea.

“What? Since when?” Leon exclaimed.

“Since we thought giving Gwen a key was a good idea.”

“Fuck.” Leon said.

“Yeah.”

***

Morgana had bought them a new sofa without telling them. Waking up to a knock early on a Wednesday morning, where a random delivery guy claimed he got a package for their apartment, wasn’t exactly what Leon had expected to find outside his door when the loud banging had filled his head instead of his alarm. They really needed to fix their doorbell. 

“What the actual fuck?” Were the first words Elyan had exclaimed when he’d come out of his room to see a brand new orange couch where their old beat down shit sofa used to be.

“Morgana.”

“Of course. What happened to the old one?”

“No idea, probably ended up being thrown out.” 

“Jesus.”

The couch was nice, albeit not very fitting in their living room. It was too big and bright for their little flat who’s only colour came from Morgana purchases. Usually it was small things, like paintings, and plastic fruit. Today, it was a goddamn sofa. Tomorrow? Who knows. Perhaps a new bed. Leon really wouldn’t mind a new bed. 

“Do you like it?” Morgana asked later that week as they gathered up in the flat, preparing to go out. 

“This is absolutely insane. We can’t afford a couch Morgana.”

“Who said you’re paying for it?”

“We’re not accepting a sofa from you, they’re crazy expensive.” 

“And I’m crazy rich.” A response which usually shut everyone up when it came to Morgana’s crazy purchases. “Besides, it’s not only for you, it’s for Arthur too. Poor boy’s going to seriously damage his back if he doesn’t get something proper to sleep on, so I took it upon myself to find something.”

“You’re insane.” Leon said with no bite. “Thank you.” He kissed her lightly on the cheek. 

“JUST PUT ON THE DAMN SHIRT E, I PROMISE YOU WILL THANK ME LATER!” Gwen tumbled out ot Elyan’s room, her face quickly lighting up when it landed on Leon and Morgana. “Well hello there,” She spoke in a soft tone, “I’m going to assume you both heard all of that.” The pair nodded. 

“What are you planning, Gwen?” Leon questioned. Gwen did not reply, only shared a mischievous look with Morgana that indicated that it was once again  matchmaking time. Two weeks in a row, must be some sort of a record. 

“Is this fine?” Elyan had left his room a moment later, sporting a soft blue button up that looked really lovely on him. Gwen’’s eyes were practicality sparkling as she observed her masterpiece. 

“It’s lovely.” Morgana said, more to Gwen than Elyan. They were doing that thing they did sometimes, when they talked about you right in front of you. 

“Found it in dad’s closet, knew it would look good.”

“Good eye.”

“I’m right here.” Elyan tried.

“Do you think it needs something else?” Gwen asked.

“Hmm…” Morgana took a pause to consider it.

“A place to show it off,” Leon finished her thought for her. “Oh, wait, aren’t we about to go out?” The sarcasm that laced his voice was very apparent, Gwen and Morgana both giving him murderous looks in which Leon ignored. “We’re going to be late. Let’s go.”

***

Elyan could kill Morgana and Gwen. He could actually kill them both. Not actually, because he’d never kill anyone, he was way too nice for that. But he was as close to it as a person could be without actually doing it. Because this… this was just cruel.

Inviting Gwaine and Percy along to their Friday evening pub visit. Inviting these two borderline strangers they’d only met once, well Percy twice, to their sacred Friday night tradition. All to push Elyan’s tiny crush down his throat? No, this was borderline insulting and straight up mean.

“So we meet again,” Percy told him as Elyan was squished up against him. “”I haven’t heard back from you about the gym membership thing. Can I assume it’s a no go? 

“Elyan and the gym?” Gwen intruded, “Hah, I would love to see that.” Funny how even without alcohol, Gwen could be one of the most honest people out there. 

“I’ll get this round,” Morgana stood, “Someone help me carry. Gwen?” Gwen didn’t look happy to be going, but she followed Morgana anyways. Morgana hadn’t asked anyone what they would like to drink which was a bit suspicious on her part. 

“You and the gym aye?” Why was Percy still talking to him? There was an entire table filled with interesting people, and he was talking to Elyan. Lance was right there, perfect as ever with his shiny hair and his charming smile. Elyan didn’t know Gwaine that well, but he was certain he made for better company than him. Even Arthur and Merlin, who were awkwardly bumping elbows, were probably better conversationalists. 

“Long story.” Elyan settled on. He was not about to embarrass himself, and he was certainly not opening this conversation up, because he was sure that his friends would not hesitate for a second to tell his horrible gym story to anyone who would listen. 

“I’m a good listener.” Percy replied. For a split second it felt like the two had shared a moment. Like the glint in the other man’s eyes that Elyan had attached his own to had meant something more. But he was probably just fooling himself. 

“DRINKS!” Morgana announced loudly setting down a tray, Gwen following with her own before curling up on Lance’s lap. 

“Guinness?” Arthur exclaimed. “That’s bloody disgusting Morgana.” Morgana flipped her cousin off before reaching across the table to grab his drink and downed it quickly.

“There,” She said, “Get your own drink.” 

“She’s feisty.” Percy whispered to Elyan. “I like it.” Great, another man in love with Morgana. Well, suppose that was cleared up then. If only Percy, like every other man that flirted with her, knew that she had zero interest in them. That still wouldn’t change the fact that he was into women though. Oh well…. Elyan wasn’t upset about it at all. 

***

“Who’re you texting?” Leon asked Morgana, trying to see over her shoulder. Usually she was one of the loudest people at their table, but today she’d hardly said a word as her focus was strictly on her phone. The tiny smile that had not left her face once, and only got increasingly bigger when her phone buzzed, told Leon everything he needed to know. 

“No one.” She replied, with as much charm as ever. 

“Does anyone know?”

It took a moment for her to answer. For a second, Leon thought she was going to drop the conversation entirely, but then she said: “No.” 

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know.” She smiled, and he couldn’t help but smile back. 

***

“Again, you seriously don’t need to walk me home.” Percy insisted. 

“It’s no problem.” Leon said, “It’s our pleasure. Right E?” Elyan nodded awkwardly. 

He was still getting over the blow of Percy’s liking of Morgana. Percy had talked to Elyan a lot more this evening than last time, and the more he got to know him, the more he liked him. Percy had told him about this guy he worked with that lived entirely on eggs and protein shakes, which Elyan had remarked sounded extremely unhealthy. (“It is.” Percy had laughed.). Why did Percy have to be so funny and interesting? Why did Elyan have to go and finally start liking someone who wasn’t interested in him back? How was that fair? 

“Well, thank you for walking me home.” Percy said once the short, but what felt like an endless walk, was over. 

“Again mate, our pleasure. Right, E?” Leon nudged Elyan away from his thoughts. 

“Yeah.” He spoke softly, barely audible. 

“Leon, great to see you again mate,” Percy fist bumped Leon, which was the weirdest and most adorable thing Elyan had ever seen in his entire life. “Elyan,” Shit. “Don’t be a stranger, you know how to reach me if you ever change your mind.” God, what was it with straight guys and the gym? Elyan nodded weakly and attempted a smile, as Percy left. 

“What was that all about?” Leon asked him once Percy was out of earshot. 

“Don’t ask.” 

Chapter Text

It happened seamlessly. One day their little booth in the pub fit their tiny group, the next they were forced around a round table to fit everyone in one place. Gwen and Lance did save some space by sharing a stool, but apart from that the table was still getting crammed, and no one knew how it had happened. 

The three new additions to their gang of Gwaine, Merlin and Percy had been a positive change in the dynamic of the group. Elyan had started talking more, since Percy made sure to talk to him a lot. A fact that Leon knew was because Percy obviously liked Elyan, and his best friend simply couldn’t see it. Elyan had argued Percy was straight, but judging by the way Percy was looking at Elyan like he was the only person in the room, Leon doubted it. 

Merlin was genuinely delightful, with a side of ‘could end your entire career’ with one comment. A mix of a quiet and shy soon to be doctor, and a merciless roaster.  As an added bonus to his presence, Arthur had become more tolerable to be around, since his energy was directed towards Merlin now, sparing everyone else the pent up frustration that used to cloud their table. 

As for Gwaine? Well Gwaine livened up the place. Everything got a bit more exciting when he was around, and no one knew why. Maybe because he had the most interesting life ever. “I once hooked up with a girl who claimed to be a mermaid.” He’d once exclaimed without further comment. Only Gwaine could say shit like that and get away with it. 

One thing that had changed was Morgana. She’d become way more quiet on their outings, and far too invested in her phone. Leon knew she was hiding someone, and he had no intention of spreading that information around. The only problem was that other people had started noticing too, specifically her cousin who was getting more and more suspicious of Morgana’s constant absent mindedness. 

“Leon, have you noticed anything off with Morgana as of late?” Arthur had asked one afternoon. He tried not to give away anything on his face, because technically, he did not know nearly enough to actually provide anything useful. Which wasn’t exactly true, because the news of Morgana seeing someone would cause a stir in their group, and was enough useful information to calm Arthur down. Too bad for him that Leon wasn’t a snitch. 

“Uh, no, not really, why?”

“She’s just… been so absent as of late.” Which was true, Morgana’s presence was becoming rarer around the flat. Gwen still came nearly every day, and Arthur still used their couch like his own personal motel, he’d even had Merlin over once which had led to a very awkward conversation by the bathroom in the morning. Morgana, though, could go an entire week before showing her face, only making an appearance for Friday evening pub visits, and even then her face was buried in her phone. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Maybe she’s just busy.” 

“Yeah, maybe…” Arthur did not sound convinced. 

***

Elyan loved talking to Percy. Apart from Leon, Percy was quickly becoming his second favourite person to talk to. Their conversation topics ranged from talking about their favourite pizza toppings, to the disappointing reality that a degree doesn’t really mean shit sometimes, and you still need a lot more nowadays to actually get a well-paying job. 

“No, you don’t understand. I wasted nearly five years of my life waiting for Sherlock season four, and they gave me that !” Elyan exclaimed. He’d started speaking up more as of late, and was quite enjoying it. His voice was still heeps lower than his friend's boisterous tones, but he’d leveled his speaking up to an above whisper volume now. He’d realised that most people did not give a single fuck about whatever he was saying majority of the time, and that revelation had indeed been life changing. 

“I never really watched it.” Percy responded. “Never been one to watch TV shows.” Elyan looked at him, appalled.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Who has the time to wait five years for a new season of a show? I’ve always preferred films, you get the entire story at once.” Percy defended. 

“What about movie franchises?” Elyan countered, determined to win whatever this conversation was.

“Don’t really watch them.”

“What the actual fuck?” He exclaimed a bit too loudly.

“What?” Leon asked. Great, he’d alerted the masses. 

“Percy doesn’t watch TV or films with more than one part.”

“Well neither do Lance,” Gwen chimed in. 

Of course Lance didn’t. God forbid Lance would waste his time on commercial trash, rather than spend his time doing good. Lance worked at the red cross and volunteered at a suicide helpline, whilst also managing to maintain a healthy relationship with Gwen. Supposed perfect people didn’t have time to waste on shit television.

“Lance doesn’t count.” Leon said, and Elyan couldn’t help but sneak a smile at his friend. At least someone was on his side. 

“Does too!”

“As someone who has only known him for like, five minutes, I’m going to agree with Leon here. Lance is like Jesus, he’s the ideal, not the standard.” Gwaine added.

“I’m sorry, did you just compare me to Jesus?”

“So I spent a lot of time in Sunday school as a kid, sue me.”

“How did you not immediately burst into flames?” Merlin inquired. 

“I resent that!” 

“Can we circle back to the fact that you compared me to Jesus ?”

“Yeah, because that’s not an ego boost at all.” Arthur said, earning a glare from Gwen and a chuckle from Lance who took everything in stride. 

“Lance, didn’t you spend a lot of time in Sunday school growing up as well?” Gwen asked. “I’m sure you’ve mentioned it.” 

“Yeah, before my family came to the UK.” 

“Where’s your family from?” Percy asked. 

“Venezuela.” 

“Cool.”

“Why’d you stop going to Sunday school in the UK?” Gwaine queried. 

“Because I grew out of it.” Lance shrugged. “I still went to Sunday service for a long time after. Why’d you stop going to Sunday school?” He countered. 

“Because I would eventually burst into flames.” Everyone laughed. “By the way, before I forget, my band plays tomorrow, I think you guys should come.”

“Wait, you’re in a band?” Gwen exclaimed excitedly. “Why have you never mentioned that?” 

“I’m mentioning it now.” Which only earned Gwaine a light bump on his arm from Gwen as she rolled her eyes. Despite this, she quickly started cross examining Gwaine for more information. Amidst all the chaos Percy leaned closer to Elyan so he could whisper:

“You should come, it will be fun. I promise they’re not half as shit as meeting Gwaine would have you believe.” Elyan just smiled. 

***

“So should we go?” Leon asked Elyan back at the flat. It was late and he was ignoring his duty to correct papers and sketching lesson plans. “Sounds kind of shit, doesn’t it?”

“Percy said they weren’t.” Elyan shrugged.

“ Oh? ” Leon raised an eyebrow. 

“Shut up,” 

“I’m just saying.”

“Go to bed.”

“Aye Aye Captain!” 

***

Working weekends wasn’t optimal, but it was better pay. At least he didn’t have to stay at home and correct essays until later in the evening like Leon would have to do. Supposedly going into the office on a Saturday wasn’t half bad in comparison. Especially considering Elyan’s job wasn’t that bad. It was totally manageable, enough to make his day feel worthwhile, but easy enough to make a weekend trip into the office not feel like too much of a challenge. 

“Good morning.” Kara exclaimed enthusiastically. She was one of the few morning people Elyan knew, apart from his sister. “How are we doing today?”

“Where’s Mordred?” He asked her instead of answering her question. He swept his eyes around the basement and the gloomy guy wasn’t anywhere to be seen. He couldn’t exactly be hiding considering the confinement of their space. 

“He’s not in today.”

“Is he sick?” 

“No.” Perhaps anyone else would press on, but Elyan was not anyone else. 

He sat by his desk and adjusted his framed image a bit to face him better. It was a picture of the gang at the pub that Gwen had framed and gifted to him, depicting one of their first visits there. Gwen had asked some stranger to take it and Elyan had thought he was going to die of embarrassment. The photo had turned out well though. Lance and Gwen had just started going out, and still had that newly in love look on their faces. Arthur looked rather angry, which he did a lot before he came out, but you couldn’t detect that anger unless you knew him well, which Elyan suddenly realised he did. Morgana was sporting the most charming smile ever, just like she always did, and Leon was right next to her with an equally brilliant smile. Then there was Elyan. 

He looked away. There was no need to analyse himself in the photo. It wasn’t a very good time in his life. Quite the opposite. He was recently out of school and was more lost than ever before. Perhaps those feelings still remained somewhere deep inside, but he’d like to believe he was in a better place. 

“I’m going out to lunch, do you want to join?” Kara asked him later. 

“Sure.”

***

The worst part about being a teacher was how the job never seemed to end. Leon never left his classroom, because it followed him home instead. Sometimes he enjoyed grading, because certain texts were actually quite riveting reads with interesting perspectives from his students. Other times they were hilariously bad. But most of the time, it was just a pile of average texts that he’d have to decide if they were good enough for a C. 

He’d promised the group to go out later and see Gwaine play, but the enthusiasm for that simmered for every grammatically incorrect use of ‘your’. He would go though, he couldn’t abandon Elyan like that. If he didn’t go then Elyan wouldn’t either, and he knew he wanted to see Percy again. Leon couldn’t deprive him of that. 

There was a light knock at the door, one that probably belonged to Morgana or Gwen. When he opened it, Morgana came rushing in without any warning.

“Did you tell anyone?”

“Hello to you too.” Morgana was not in the mood. “I didn’t tell Arthur, if that’s what you’re wondering.” 

Morgana let out a sigh of relief before taking a seat on the couch. “Thank God. He’s been bugging me non-stop, I was worried you’d betrayed me.”

“Is there any particular reason your cousin can’t know about this person?” 

Morgana hesitated before answering. “I’m not ready yet.”

“You’ve never had this problem before.”

“Well it’s not like before, ok?” She snapped. It wasn’t a common occurrence for Morgana to lose her poise like this, so it was extremely unsettling. “I’m sorry.” She quickly apologised, regaining control of her temper. “It’s just… it’s not like the other times, because, well… she’s sick.”

“What?”

“Cancer.” 

“Oh.” Leon was stunned, what did one say to that? “Is it…”

“Serious?” Morgana finished. Leon nodded. “She’s getting better. She has been since I met her, but she’s not ready yet. I don’t want to throw an unwell person into our mix. She can’t come out with us, right now she can barely even leave her flat.” 

“How did you even meet her?” He sat down next to her. 

“Well, you know how Merlin is going to be a doctor?” Leon nodded again. “Essentially that entails interning at hospitals. Practice makes perfect and what not. And before setting him up with Arthur after Gwen told me about him, I wanted to meet him.” Leon couldn’t help the snort. “What?”

“It’s just so typical of you, going to his place of work.”

“Well I wanted to catch him off guard in his natural habitat” She defended, a tiny smile on her face. “Either way, Merlin passed. He’s great. So I was heading out and I accidentally ran into her. And well… at first I didn’t want to do anything drastic, because she was sick and hitting on someone who could potentially die would be-“

“Depressing?”

“Well, yeah. Besides, she did not require a shag, she needed a friend. Her family doesn’t live in the UK, and she doesn’t have a lot of people in her life, so I thought it would be nice to be there for her. Which it was, too nice, because here we are. I’m dating a woman who’s scarcely escaped cancer, and I can’t tell anyone yet, because I don’t want to pressure her too much, and I certainly do not want to be judged for my decision.”

“No one would judge you.” Now Morgana really looked sceptical. “Well, ok, perhaps you’d be questioned, but not judged. Whoever you chose, that’s your decision.”

“I know that. And I don’t require anyone to tell me who I can and cannot fall for. That does not mean I can’t worry. Arthur is a pain, but I love him. And although I am not looking for his validation nor his approval, it would still be good to have it. Especially when faced with Uther.”

Leon grabbed Morgana's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s going to be alright.”

“I know,” She said. “But I still need time. I’ll start with Gwen and Lance. They’re good at these types of things. Helpful. And then when the time is right, I’ll tell Arthur.”

“He’s going to be so pissed that he wasn’t the first to know.”

“Yeah,” Morgana agreed. “But not everything is about him.”

They sat in silence for a moment. 

“So… what’s her name?”

Leon couldn’t help but catch the smile that grew on Morgana's face at the thought of this mystery woman. “Freya.” She replied. “It’s Swedish,” she added. “That’s why her family isn’t around. The reason why she doesn’t have many friends here.”

“Must be hard.”

“Yeah.”

More silence. 

“I would really like to meet her some day when you’re both ready.” 

“I think she would like that.” 

***

Kara and Elyan went to the sushi place down the street for lunch. They had a whole street of food options every single day, but usually went to the same place when Mordred was with them because he insisted on it. Today was different, because Mordred wasn’t around. Usually Elyan didn’t say too much during lunch, he let Mordred and Kara carry the conversation, well, mostly Kara. He thought today wouldn’t be any different, but he was wrong.

“So, tell me about this Percy guy.” She said once they’d sat down with their orders. 

“There’s nothing to tell.” 

“I doubt that. Your eyes shone up at the name.”

“Did not!”

“You’re blushing again.” She gushed. “You’re always so cute when you blush.”

Elyan wanted this to end. He needed something that would deviate from the subject. “How about we talk about you and Mordred instead.” That should do it.

“What about me and Mordred?” Kara plunked a vegetarian roll in her mouth. 

“You’re obviously going out.”

“Yeah?”

“Wait, you’re not denying it?”

Kara let out a giggle. “No. We’ve dated since uni babe, we got a flat and a kitten named Killghara. Just because we don’t snog at the office doesn’t mean it’s a secret, nor something I’m ashamed to talk about.”

“Then how come I don’t know about it?” 

“Because for someone who is such an observant guy, you’re oblivious as hell, Elyan. Look, Mordred’s band is playing later today. I think it would be really cool if you could come.”

Mordred was in a band? Mordred was in a band. Huh. He’d really like to see that, but… he couldn’t.

“Sorry, I can’t. My friend's band is playing tonight. Promised I’d go.”

“Who’s your friend?” Kara wiggled her eyebrows.

“Oh my God, stop that immediately.” Kara laughed, Elyan smiled. 

“You’re not, well, weirded out by me and Mordred?”

“What, no. Absolutely not, I-” Goddamnit. “No.” He finished. “I figured something was going on already. The reason I never mentioned it is because it’s none of my business. I’m sure you make a great couple.”

“Wow, you’re horrible at this.” She laughed.

“Well…”

“Thanks. I mean it.” She added. “You’ll have to come over for dinner sometime. Mordred is a killer cook.”

Now it was Elyan’s time to laugh. “I might just take you up on that.” 

“You better. Now eat your food.”

***

Morgana had left a while ago, telling Leon to pass on that she was feeling under the weather and would not be in attendance for the gig. He’d finished up his grading for the day, and decided that the rest would be finished with the help of an aspirin and a lot of coffee the next day. His ‘worlds best teacher mug’ Elyan had bought him as a joke, was getting sadder and sadder for each day. 

When Elyan got home Leon was busy knitting a hat. His grandma had taught him how to do it when he was younger, it was a way for them to connect. He’d really grown attached to doing it, as it helped with stress and kept him busy when he was bored. Half the hats Elyan owned and at least three sweaters were made by Leon. He usually made stuff for Gwen and gifted them to her on her birthday or on Christmas, seeing as she always really appreciated them. 

“Stress knitting a hat again?” Elyan asked him, throwing himself on the couch.

“How was your day?”

“Mordred and Kara have apparently been dating since university.”

“Congrats?”

Elyan threw a pillow his way that Leon ducked away from. “I’m serious Leon. I know nothing about my co-workers.”

“Haven’t you suspected their relationship since forever?”

“Well, yeah, obviously. Doesn’t mean I can’t be surprised.”

“You’re impossible.” 

“Don’t forget hopeless.”

“How could I forget?” They shared a look before bursting out laughing. “You should probably mentally prepare for Gwen showing up here to act as your own personal stylist.”

“Fuck.” Elyan groaned. “She’s really great, huh?”

“The best.”

***

Gwen did show up and force him into a wine coloured button-up shirt, which looked really good on him, and that he refused to admit looked good on him. The place where the band played was a tiny pub downtown, small enough for Elyan to immediately spot Kara when he walked in. “Go ahead” He told his friends, before approaching. “Hi.” 

She turned towards him without flinching, clearly not an easily frightened person. Not like Merlin, which he’d recently realised was so easily frightened, and something Arthur, Gwaine and Leon had abused to the max. “Hi.” 

“What are you doing here, I thought Mordred’s band was playing tonight?”

“Elyan…”

“Oh shit. They’re in the same band aren’t they?”

“You’re cute.” 

“Did you know?”

“Well, not necessarily. I had my suspicions, and you being here confirmed it. Now tell me, who’s your friend?”

“Gwaine.”

“Ah.”

“You know Gwaine?”

“Elyan, what part about dating since uni doesn’t click? I know everyone in the band, I’ve managed them since they started.”

“Oh. Well now I feel like the world's biggest twat.”

Kara just laughed. “You’re truly hopeless E. But we love you anyway.” 

What was it with Kara saying words to him, and his cheeks immediately turning pink? He needed to excuse himself quickly before she noticed. “I’d better get back to my friends.”

“Find me after the show, alright?” Elyan nodded. 

When he found their table, everyone was nicely settled in, only one spot empty next to Percy, which he knew they’d orchestrated intentionally. He slid into place.

“We got you a pint.” Percy said, sliding it towards him. Elyan took it appreciatively. “You know Kara then?”

Elyan turned quizzically towards him. “Yeah, do you?”

“Well, yeah. I’ve met her through Gwaine a couple of times. She’s cool.” Great, more Percy rubbing in the fact that he’s into women. Well, technically Elyan is too, but it’s different, because Percy is straight, which means that he’s not into Elyan, and that’s just not fair. Even though he had to admit that Percy had great taste, Morgana and Kara, ugh… couldn’t he at least like someone who wasn’t really fucking awesome ? 

When the band entered the stage, Elyan’s eyes were glued to every single member. Their costumes were medieval inspired, with a modern twist and more glitter than in a preschool classroom. Gwaine’s outfit reminded Elyan of that of a dragon, with wings and eyeshadow that looked like fire. Mordred looked like an oldschool sorcerer, even wearing one of those ridiculous pointy hats that he managed to pull off for whatever reason. The other two people on stage, apart from Gwaine on bass, and Mordred on drums, was the lead singer with a tambourine, and an electric guitar player. 

The guitar player had a huge scar on half of their face and wore a glittery red dress that sparkled the entire room. The lead singer was probably the most illuminating of all. Their costume looked like an old school armour, complete with a sword at their side, and a crown on their bleached shaved head. 

Before they started playing, the singer introduced them as ‘the Arthurian Cycle’, and as Mordred counted down, Elyan decided he was obsessed. 

***

The band was surprisingly better than Leon thought they would be. Sure, their costumes promised a good show, but that meant nothing if the music sucked. Turns out it didn’t. 

Everyone played their instruments well, and the lead singer sounded like Adele when she still sounded like a chain smoker. The sound had, just like the outfits, a medieval flair with a mix of old school rock, and if it was the 70s, Leon would definitely buy their records. 

After the show, Gwaine had introduced them to the members. There was Mordred, Elyan’s colleague, who didn’t look half as miserable as Elyan always claimed he did. Edwin, who’d gone to school with Mordred and Kara, and of course Morgause, or Ruby as they were actually called if not on stage, who they’d found through an ad online. 

“So why a medieval theme?” Gwen asked them. “That’s rather unorthodox isn’t it? But like, in a good way, because it puts you apart, right?”

“I have a history degree.” Edwin said, “Always liked Arthurian Legend, so it’s not so much a medieval theme as it is an Arthurian theme.”

“Also Merlin,” Gwaine added.

“Me?” Merlin asked.

“Well, I told everyone about my friend Merlin, and everyone just lost their mind, like what parents do that to a kid?”

“Hey!” He exclaimed. “Your name is literally Gwaine, that’s not normal. Don’t get me started on Mordred. Who names their kid Mordred?”

“To be fair to my parents, I gave myself that name.” Mordred said. “It was only a stage name at first, but with my transition I legally changed my name to it as well. What’s your excuse, Emrys?” He said, cocking an eyebrow. “What?” He asked in direction to Elyan, who on closer inspection looked uncharacteristically livid. 

“It’s just… who are you?”

“The coolest person we’ve met apparently.” Merlin said. “How’s that fair? You name yourself the coolest thing ever, albeit unorthodox, and I’m stuck with parents who hate me.” 

“I think Merlin is a good name.” Arthur chimed in, mostly to Merlin, who gave him an awkward smile. They were both too sober for this, and so was Leon. Holy crow, watching Arthur flirt was fucking painful. 

“Still can’t get over that your names are Arthur and Merlin.” Edwin said. “Like what kind of a sick joke is that?”

“I mean…” Gwen said, “Perhaps it was a bit orchestrated.” 

“You set them up because of their names?”

“Well… kind of.” She looked a bit awkward. “Not entirely though.” She hurriedly added. “We thought they’d make a good match, and they did. Don’t they make a good match?” Gwen queried.

“So you’re a queer band?” Lance asked Ruby, deviating the attention away from Gwen, which she looked relieved to be rid off. It was incredible how synced they were. 

“Yeah,” Ruby declared proudly. “All queer in some way. I’m an enby Lesbian, I am.” 

“I don’t really fuck with lables,” Edwin added.

“Bi,” Gwaine said. “But you lot know that.” 

“Well, trans, yeah, if that wasn’t obvious before. And queer.” Mordred finished. Leon was almost certain they’d rehearsed this before. 

“A queer Arthurian band?” Lance said. “How many can claim that?”

“You’d be surprised.” Edwin answered. 

“Ready to go?” Kara’d left a while back to settle business Leon did not understand, and didn’t try to either. Her question was directed towards Mordred.

“I’m knackered.” He replied, getting up. 

“Me too.” Elyan added. “Leon?” It was nice to have an excuse to go if he was to make it through his Sunday outside of bed. 

He let out a loud yawn he didn’t know he’d been holding in, before saying: “Let’s go.”

***

“Elyan, wait up!” He heard from behind him. They were on the curb, waiting for a cab. His hands were turning blue, and he really desperately needed to take a piss. He turned to see who’d been calling, and mentally cursed himself for turning scarlet at the sight of Percy. “You forgot this.” The other man said as he’d caught up with him, holding up a tiny brown leather wallet with a slight ripple on the left side that identified it as Elyan’s. 

“Oh my God, thank you.” As he reached over to take the wallet his hands gently brushed against Percy’s, and his entire arm felt like it had been set on fire. His eyes reached Percy’s, and the tiny smile he was met with made him feel like he was about to die. If he couldn’t have Percy romantically, he wished he could have that smile. Everything would be better if he could just see that smile every goddamn day of his entire life. Holy fuck, he wanted to always see that smile, and he couldn’t.

He cleared his throat a bit to break the tension.

“Thank you again, I really appreciate it.”

“It’s cool.” Elyan wished Pervy would stop smiling before Elyan did something stupid, like confess his feelings for him or something. He couldn’t have that, he’d never recover from such a rejection.

“You ready E?” Leon asked. Shit , how long had he been standing there? For a moment he’d forgotten, like there was only him and Percy and no one else in the entire world. If only.

“Yeah, let’s go. Bye Perce. Thank you again.”

“Anytime.” 

If only...

Chapter Text

“We’re having a little get together on Friday.” Gwen announced to the room. 

“We have a get together every Friday.”  Arthur replied, earning a smack on the back of his head from Merlin. “Ow, I’m just saying!” He said, rubbing the spot that had been previously hit. 

“Not at mine and Lance’s place.” Gwen countered. “My uni mates keep pestering me about it, I think it’s time. So no pub on Friday babes, you’re all coming over to ours.”

“Pass.” Leon said without looking up from his paper. “I’m busy.”

“You’re never busy on Fridays.”

“Gwen love, I’m always busy on Fridays, I just pretend like I’m not.” Which was only partially true, but Leon did also have a tendency to procrastinate correcting assignments. It was much more fun planning lessons and holding literary discussions than reading thirty poorly written essays on the subject in a confined structure that usually left a lot to be desired. 

“Ugh… fine.” She turned expectantly towards Elyan who tried to evade her gase. “E?”

“I-”

“Great, Friday at six.” 

“But I didn’t even have the time to answer.”

“I knew what you were going to say. And I’m not letting you stay in alone on a Friday evening. Everyone’s coming.” She insisted. “Even Percy.” She added with a cheeky grin that made Elyan blush. Percy was sure Elyan was trying to hide this fact, but Percy immediately noticed. 

“Fine, I’ll show up for a little bit” 

“That’s all I ask.” She smiled and gave her brother a gentle pat on the back as he visibly rolled his eyes. 

Although Elyan had agreed to go to the party, he did not let Leon hear the end of his despair at the prospect once everyone had left. “Tell me again why you’re so cruelly leaving me out for the dogs.” Elyan asked for the hundredth time that evening, stretching himself out on the couch. 

“Because,” Leon said, straightening a stack of papers on the table. “I need to catch up on my work. Being a teacher fucking sucks you know, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Leon loved his job, but he was severely underpaid for all the shit he had to deal with, and therefore he had no problem shitting on his job. If anyone else did it though it was on sight. 

“You’ll be fine. It’s only people you hang out with every single Friday.” Leon felt bad for lying to Elyan, he really did. But what was he supposed to say? I’m actually going to meet Morgana and her secret girlfriend? Yeah, right. Morgana would slaughter him. No thank you. 

“Plus Gwen’s uni mates, and probably some of Lance’s friends as well, who are just as perfect as he is.” Elyan added. 

“Percy will be there.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that as if it’s a good thing? It feels like I’m going to die everytime I see him.”

“You like Percy.”

“Yeah, obviously. But he doesn’t like me back, and that’s just… annoying.” Leon held his tongue before he said too much. It was not his place to interfere, although his oblivious friend certainly needed it. Anyone who’d seen him and Percy together saw two pining messes, it was a wonder Percy hadn’t just swept in and made a move yet. Why hadn’t he?

“Tell me again why you’re leaving me?”

Leon sighed.

“Work.” He lied.

“Fuck.”

***

Alright, maybe Elyan wasn’t being completely fair. He had no right to be annoyed at Percy for not reciprocating his feelings, one could not help how they felt or who they were attracted to. But everyone was being so damn pushy about it, as if they knew something Elyan didn’t, and it just made everything worse. And for the love of God, Percy had got to stop looking at him like that. It was not fair game at all! It had bothered him for days, and the thoughts just got louder and more intruding as Gwen swung the door open to her and Lance’s apartment on Friday. 

“E, you’re an hour early. I’d say I’m happy to see you, but this is just shit party etiquettes.”

“You’d never say that to anyone else.” He said as he entered, handing Gwen the cheapest wine he could find on short notice. She took it and eyed it sceptically.

“Well, you’re not just anyone , are you?”

He rolled his eyes. 

“Where’s Lance?” 

“In the shower. He thought he still had at least fifty eight more minutes to get ready.”

“What if I was here to help set up.”

“Ok, one. There’s nothing to set up, we live in like one room. It takes zero effort putting crisps in bowls and the rest has already been prepped and can’t be put out until people start arriving anyways. Two, you hate setting up. Don’t think I’ve forgotten every Christmas ever.”

Alright, so his sister knew him well. Of course he showed up an hour early both to have an excuse to leave quicker, and to meet new people one by one as they arrived rather than all at once. It was better that way, and it made him less anxious. He had met some of Gwen’s uni mates before, just not for what felt like a thousand years, and that did frighten him quite a bit. 

“You look like a deer in headlights.” Gwen remarked.

“Huh? No I don’t. I look like a man ready to put some crisp into bowls.” He tried for a smile, but it came out all awkward and fake. 

“Jesus Christ.” Gwen remarked, turning away and heading for the kitchen. 

***

Of course it was raining, because why wouldn’t it rain? The taxi stopped outside a blue apartment building that was older than the Queen, and Leon paid the driver before stepping outside, ready to get soaking wet from the two metres he had to walk from the pavement to the door. 

Morgana had texted him the port code so he could let himself in. His fingers felt like ice as he touched the rusty metal. This was it, he was going to meet Morgana’s secret. The one person who’d taken their extremely social and present friend, and made her a ghost in their group. Someone who fleeted in and out as they pleased. Leon was very happy for her. Now that he knew her secret to its full extent, it was impossible to not note how extremely joyous Morgana had become, despite everything regarding Freya’s illness. He couldn’t help but feel worried as well, Morgana pulling away from everyone wasn’t like her at all, and he worried there was something serious going on that no one knew about.  

It wasn’t a long walk up the stairs, Freya only lived on the third floor. Leon didn’t even have to be disappointed at the lift that was out of commission. He shook some water off of himself before ringing the doorbell. He could hear muffled sounds from inside. 

***

People were arriving in large masses. Elyan had helped Gwen put out some crisps, and that had taken all of two minutes, and then they were left with nothing else to do for a while. Gwen had turned on the telly for them to watch, where there were reruns of ‘the IT crowd’ which they’d sat down to watch. They always used to watch it as kids. Elyan gave a lot of credit to Moss, Jenn and Roy for himself becoming interested in computers, which in hindsight was ironic, since the characters on the show seemed to know close to nothing about how computers actually were operated. 

Halfway through the program Lance had emerged from his shower in his boxers, and Elyan was sure that his heart had skipped several beats. Which was even more annoying since Lance didn’t seem to mind at all that he was walking around half naked in front of Elyan. The bastard was actually comfortable in his own body, and it was so infuriating. If he didn’t like Lance so much he’d probably hate him. 

They’d set out the rest of the food fairly quickly as a trio. Lance had gone on about one of his mother’s old recipes, and Gwen had tittered about in excitement. They were just about finished when the doorbell rang. 

At first, there’d only been a few people. Merlin and Arthur were punctual, because Pendragon’s didn’t do late, and suppose Arthur had that influence on the people he dated. Merlin had complimented the home, and Arthur had brought a very expensive bottle of wine that made Elyan’s own bottle look like a fucking joke in comparison. 

Gwen’s university friend Sarah had arrived with her girlfriend Erica, and in no time Elyan knew his evening was doomed, because Gwen and Lance were now occupied, and he refused to watch Arthur and Merlin get tipsy and fool around, he respected himself too much for that. 

Before Elyan knew it the entire apartment was absolutely flooded with people beyond its own capacity, and he was beginning to feel like he was running out of air. There weren't supposed to be this many people. In an instance he found himself in Gwen and Lance’s bedroom, also known as the only place without any people in it. It only consisted of a bed and a closet, but Elyan quickly opted to sit on the floor, trying to avoid touching anything. 

He was taking deep breaths that should feel refreshing but didn’t since he’d left one confined space for another. His eyes caught a painting hanging on the wall of a cat that looked suspiciously like the stray cat that used to wander around their neighbourhood as kids, and before he knew it, he was crying.

***

“You must be Leon,'' a frail figure greeted him. Freya was smiling softly at him, and something about her presence made him feel safe. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She reached out her hand and he shook it firmly.

“You too, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Only good things I hope.” She joked, and it was the lamest and most adorable encounter Leon had ever had. Tied only with his first meeting with Elyan. 

“What was that?” Morgana appeared around the crook, “Could that be a stray Leon I see?” Morgana made an exaggerated looking gesture.

“In the flesh.” He said, allowing Morgana to hug him.

“Thank you for coming.” She whispered to him, and as he pulled away, he tried as hard as he could to reassure her with his face that it was no problem at all.

“Are you hungry? Freya asked, “We’ve made fish and chips.”

“Starving.” In actuality Leon wasn’t all that hungry, but he didn’t know that they would make such a fuss, and he felt kind of bad for eating beforehand, so he followed the girls into the kitchen. 

*** 

There was a light knock at the door that stilled Elyan’s heart. He quickly wiped away the tears from his eyes and tried to sound as neutral as possible when he answered, “Yes?”

“May I come in?”

It was Percy. Fuck.

“Um, uh, yeah?” Fuck.

The door only opened a crack. Well, perhaps a bit more since Percy was a rather large figure, but at least he attempted to open the door in a way that would expose as little as possible of what was happening inside. 

“Hey.” He said, slipping down to sit on the floor opposite of Elyan. “How are we doing?” 

“How’d you know I was here?” Elyan was becoming a pro at avoiding answering questions. 

“Gwen said you’d be here. Asked me if I could check up on you.” Goddamnit Gwen. “You never answered my question.”

“I’m good. Just a little... overwhelmed.” 

“I get it, meeting a lot of new people can be stressful.”

“Yeah… you don’t have to sit here with me you know? Really, I’ll be fine. I’ll pretend I’m sick or something and head home early. Don’t let me spoil your good time.”

“You could never do that.” He said with a reassuring smile. “I’m going to keep you company, if that’s alright with you. I’ll sit here with you  as long as you need. Us rejoining the rest is up to you, okay?

Elyan hesitated for a moment before he answered. 

“Okay.” 

***

“So I’ve heard the story from Morgana, but now I want to hear it from you. How did you guys meet?”

The pair locked eyes before Freya opened her mouth, “It’s quite the funny story actually. Not the cancer, but you know about the cancer already. Should I have worn a hat?” Freya self cautiously put her hands on her shaved head. 

“Babe.” Morgana said, adding nothing to it. As if everything that needed to be said was said in that one word alone. Freya looked at her and calmed down. 

“Alright, alright. How far should I go back? Like, do you want the backstory?” She asked, and Leon nodded. “So, I came abroad to study and I was really excited about it. Growing up I loved watching Doctor Who with my dad. I always said I would go to the UK one day and seeing my father fall ill and be given a second chance at life reminded me of how short life can be. No one’s promised tomorrow, and I decided to do everything with my today.” Morgana laced their fingers together with little to no effort, as if she always did that. 

“Fixing everything with uni was a bit of a challenge, but I managed and was on my way to a new life all on my own. Classes were hard, but I enjoyed the challenge, and my roommate, Megan, was really great. We bonded instantly over our love for live action disney movies. We were both obsessed with Lindsey Lohan when we were younger.” She explained. “That, and the fact that we were both from another country.”

“Everything seemed so great, you know?” She continued, “Until… Well… One day there was a lump.” Freya swallowed hard. “Just a tiny little one that seemed so insignificant. Megan told me it was probably fine, and I foolishly believed her. But then it got worse…” Morgana and Leon didn’t say a single word. 

“Anyways,” She continued. “My treatment has been going well, and I am basically cancer free now. That’s always something, isn’t it?” A pause. “I’m sorry, what was your question again?”

***

“Truth or dare?” Percy asked after a moment of silence. 

“Christ, we’re not five Percy.” 

“Ok, twenty questions then.” 

“We really don’t have to play a game.”

“Of course we do, it’s a party for Christ's sake. That’s what you do.”

“Alright, but I’m starting.” 

***

“How we met, right! Well, alright, as I said before, it’s a funny story. Morgana was looking for Doctor Emrys, right? But you know him already, a total sweetheart, and a brilliant physician. He didn’t treat me directly, but he was always so nice to me when he was around. Used to sneak me candy that was actually meant for little kids as rewards. One day I see him talking to this absolutely beautiful woman outside the room, and then, before I knew it, Morgana walks by completely blocking my view.” 

Leon burst out laughing.

“Rude,” Morgana exclaimed. 

“Mrs. Bowen is gorgeous though.” Freya defends. “Seeing her was truly the highlight of my day, until, well, until you.” 

“Fine, you’re forgiven.” She kissed Freya on the cheek in a way that made it seem like she always did it, perhaps she did. 

“She was just stumbling about looking confused, so I thought, what the hell, and went up to her. Morgana became such a wonderful friend after that. Correction, is . She’s the absolute best.”

“Agreed.” Leon chimed in. Morgana looked right at him then, no words needed to be said. They both knew. 

“She’s loving and kind. Yet, there is no one who teases me quite like her, and I have four siblings who pay me no mercy.” 

“You literally told me you adopted a British accent from being a directioner, how do you expect me not to find that funny?”

“I think that is the best way to develop a British accent,” Leon said.

“Thank you. You see, Leon gets it.”

“Well Leon is stupid.”

“Says the girl who wanted to marry Shego from Kim Possible.” He said.

“She was the coolest character!”

“She was a cartoon.”

“This is blasphemy!”

***

“What’s your favourite colour?” Elyan started the game. 

“Ok, no. Absolutely not.” Percy interrupted.

“What?”

“We are not doing boring questions.”

“Favourite colours aren’t boring,” Elyan protested, “They tell me everything I need to know about a person.”

Percy paused for a second before he said, “Orange.”

Elyan looked him directly in the eyes when he said, “You chose a colour you thought would make you unique, but actually doesn’t because there are not enough colours in the world for anyone's favourite to be a unique one, only a right one.”

“Is there a right favourite colour?”

“Yes, and the answer is ‘not purple’, because people who like purple are too obsessed. My turn.”

“Hey, I didn’t even have a go!”

“Yes you did, you asked me the colour question.”

“That doesn’t count!” Percy protested. 

“Does too! What, you think these ‘getting to know me’ questions are free?”

“Twat.” Percy said, but there was no bite to it. 

***

“Pass the popcorn.” Leon said. Rather than being handed the bowl, Morgana threw some at his face. 

Freya’s sofa was lime green and tiny. It barely fit two people together, so Freya had volunteered to sit on the floor, something Morgana had protested against, and had solved the issue by instead having Freya practically sit in her lap. 

“Here you go Leon.” Freya handed him the bowl, and Leon made sure to throw a nasty look towards Morgana when Freya turned her attention back to the film. It was Freya who’d suggested they’d watch a movie. She owned five DVDs in total, two were Swedish films without english subtitles, one didn’t work, and another they’d already watched earlier that week, so there was really only one option: My Best Friend’s Wedding. 

Leon had seen it before, Gwen insisted that everyone should watch it because of the way it defied rom-com tropes and stereotypes, whilst challenging the way people viewed protagonists. Leon had even used it as an example in class. It was a good film, and he was sure that as soon as Gwen found out it was in Freya’s collection, she’d earn her stamp of approval instantly. Which was a wonder, since Gwen didn’t hand those out to just anyone. It took Arthur months to get on her good side, and he was always on the edge of losing his spot.

The only one who’d gained it as quickly as Freya could, was Merlin, and talking to her, you could see why. They were both very similar. Two very frail figures with dark hair and a shy smile. It was weird how both Morgana and Arthur had found two people so different from themselves. At first glance both pairings seemed so extremely off, and then a second later Freya opened her mouth and Leon understood. He could tell that Freya wasn’t much of a talker normally, how nervous she seemed at every word. But she was also not afraid to speak her mind once she’d started. She challenged Morgana in a way that he knew Morgana hadn’t ever been before, and he could tell it did her good. 

“The first time I showed Arthur this movie, he thought for sure that Julianne and Michael were going to end up together.” Morgana said. “I feel like a lot of people thought so. It’s just so… programmed into people’s minds that the protagonist needs to end up with someone to be happy, and it’s just not true at all, is it?”

Leon could relate to that. 

***

The bedroom window did not open, which meant that Elyan was sweating swimming pools worth of water. Percy wiped his forehead. 

“We don’t have to continue. It’s really warm, you can go back out there and get a drink or something.” 

“And miss my question? Better luck next time.” Percy quickly pulled his shirt over his head, and used it to wipe his chest sweat. Elyan quickly averted his eyes. “There, all better. Now, let’s see…” Percy put two fingers to his chin as he thought up his next question. “How did you and Leon meet?”

Elyan swallowed hard and said a silent prayer that his next words would not give him away. “We were roommates at uni. How did you and Gwaine meet?”

“Uni as well.”

“What did you study?”

“Computer science. Did you always know you wanted to be a Personal Trainer?”

“Not really, up until the age of thirteen I wanted to be a knight.”

Elyan tried to picture a tiny Percy running around pretending to be fighting off bad guys with a stick he’d picked off the ground. It was hard to imagine that Percy hadn’t always been built like a house. 

“Me too.” He confessed.

“Well you know what they say, great minds think alike.” 

“What made you interested in IT?” 

“Well, as stupid as this might sound, as a kid I really loved the IT crowd. We used to dress up as the characters for Halloween. Gwen would insist on being Jen, and my dad and mum did Moss and Roy because they were practically married anyways, and I’d do Richmond, which also sparked a goth phase in my early teens, which I have tried hard to erase from everyone’s minds. Luckily only Gwen knew me back then.”

“Please tell me there are pictures.”

“No, thankfully I’ve burned every trace of that shit.”

“Damn, you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” Elyan was trying really hard not to read too much into Precy’s expression. He couldn’t get his hopes up. 

***

“Thank you so much for coming, Leon.” Freya said, “It’s been so lovely meeting you.” 

They were by the door, Leon ready to leave. Morgana would probably stay the night, by the looks of the place she seemed to practically live there already anyways, if the extra toothbrush in the bathroom was any indication. 

“Don’t be a stranger.” she added.

He thanked Freya for the lovely evening, it really had been lovely. He wondered if Morgana would ever let her out of her cage. Freya wasn’t some helpless bird who needed protection from the big bad world, she was a fighter. Leon understood feeling overprotective over someone, he felt that way about Elyan, but both him and Freya were stronger than what first met the eye. Freya didn’t need Morgana to dictate when she would be ready to meet the rest of the gang. 

“I’ll walk you down.” Morgana offered, and Leon knew better than to say anything against it. He knew what was awaiting him. 

“So?” She asked, her eyes sparkling. 

Leon paused a bit for dramatic effect before he said, “She’s lovely.”

Morgana hit him lightly on the arm. “What was that for? You really had me worried” 

“You should bring her out next Friday.” 

“Leon-”

“I’m serious Morgana. Look love, I know you’re just trying to protect her, but she doesn’t need you to baby her. It’s not fair to keep her from everyone else.”

“Gwen and Lance have met her.” Morgana tried, but even she didn’t seem convinced by it at this point. 

“Morgana.”

“I can’t. Not yet. It’s not about her not being ready, it’s about me not being ready.”

They stood there in silence. Morgana looked like she was about to cry, and Leon really hated when Morgana cried. He always had, ever since they were kids. She didn’t deserve to cry over something like this. 

“What are you so scared of?”

“People Leon, and their stupid judgement. When I take Freya out on walks people give us dirty looks, as if she’s going to contaminate people through the air. She was really weak for a while, it was very obvious that she was sick, and people felt no need to hide their resentment towards her. She’s-” Morgana caught her breath in her throat. “The best thing in my life.” The last part came out in a whisper. 

Leon did the only thing he could think of at the moment and embraced Morgana fully. His friend rested her head on his shoulder as she continued to shed tears that Leon could feel dampen his jacket. “Darling.” He said, affectionately stroking her back. The weather had changed since he’d first arrived at the apartment. It wasn’t raining anymore, but the cold was still striking. As Leon held Morgana though, he didn’t feel it. He only felt the soundwaves of Morgana’s heart beating. Felt her warm breath on his shoulder. 

“Freya is a warrior.” Leon said. “I get that you’re afraid that people will judge her, but she’s so strong, love. If you want, you can start small. Bring her over to our apartment sometime, okay?”

He shifted his head a bit to see Morgana’s tiny nods. “I think I can do that.”

***

“Do you have any pets.?” Elyan asked. Percy was still shirtless, and Elyan pretended not to notice that Percy did in fact have the body of a demigod. 

“I co-own a cat with my ex. She’s a little devil, but damn if I don’t love her. She lives with Brandon, but I still visit her as much as I can.” 

“Brandon?” Elyan said without thinking.

“Umh, yeah? My ex. That’s his name.” 

His?

Chapter Text

When Lance opened the door, he did so wearing a knee length skirt with white flowers on it. If it was anyone else answering that door, they might have been embarrassed, but not Lance. He greeted Elyan with his usual smile and led him inside. 

“Nice skirt.”

“He’s modelling it for me,” Gwen said, exiting the bathroom. “I’m going to donate a bunch of clothes I’ve made to the Red Cross.”

“You look great.” Elyan complimented Lance. He did look great, so it wasn’t as if he had to lie about it. 

“Thanks man.” 

“What are you doing here E?” 

The apartment had been mostly cleaned since yesterday. The kitchen was stacked with cleaned dishes on the drying rack, and Elyan noted the sofa cushions had been rearranged in an attempt to restore it to its former glory. Gwen had managed to make a new mess on the kitchen table with her sewing kit though, cursing their flat to a constant state of mess. 

“I came by to get my jacket.” After Percy’s little reveal Elyan had quickly told him that he had to leave immediately. Percy had been confused of course, but hadn’t stood in his way. In his haste to get out of there as quickly as possible he’d forgotten his jacket, and along with it his keys and wallet. Luckily his phone had been on him, so he’d managed to take the tube home. It felt like he never did that anymore. Being friends with the Pendragon’s meant a lot of taxi rides. They’d been raised with private cars rather than public transportation.

His cart had been loud, a group of university students yelling loudly, clearly on their way out on the town. Elyan tried remembering his own time at uni, but although he’d been around a lot of loud crowds, he’d never been one to be doing any of the yelling or boisterous singing, demanding attention from the world. He was still technically considered young, but in that cart, sitting alone with a group of people about to go out and drink themselves into a hangover, Elyan had never felt older. 

“Are you ok?” Leon had asked a soaking wet Elyan when he’d come to open the door for him. “What the hell happened?” Elyan hadn’t been able to speak, he’d just cried. Wept as Leon had embraced him, his tears blending with the rain that still clung to his body as yet another reminder of what a horrible night he’d had. 

“Ah yes, you were quick to run away yesterday. Is everything alright?” No , he wanted to say. Not when the guy he really liked had apparently been into guys this entire time without Elyan knowing. Before, Elyan had been fine with the prospect of Percy not being into guys, it was nothing personal after all. Percy being into guys though? That meant that Elyan was always an option, and one that Percy just wasn’t interested in. He didn’t want to say that in front of Gwen and Lance though. The only reason he’d ended up telling Leon the previous night was because his friend refused to let him go to bed before he told him what was wrong.

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.” Gwen definitely knew him too well. Perhaps if Lance wasn’t there, he’d have broken down as soon as he got through the door. Although he really liked Lance, he was not ready to be that vulnerable in front of him. The only people in their group who’d seen Elyan cry were Leon and Gwen, and that was already too many people in Elyan’s opinion. 

“I don’t feel like talking about it, I just want to grab my jacket and go.” He scanned the coat rack and quickly found his stuff. He patted the pockets to make sure everything was still in there, and when he was sure he had everything, he put it on. 

“Elyan,” Gwen started. He turned to her. “You know you can always come to me, right?”

He nodded. He knew.

***

Say what you will about Morgana Le Fay, but you couldn’t accuse her of lacking drive. Leon woke the next morning to the sound of knocking creeping into his dreams. When he opened the door, he found that Morgana had sent them several bouquets of flowers with a note that read.

To liven up the place.

• Morgana

***

Elyan refused to leave his room. He was gonna die under his covers. Whoever was knocking on their door were now his worst enemy. Elyan officially hated everything.

***

Leon was delighted when his appetiser arrived. Arthur had invited him out for lunch earlier that morning when he was trying to place out all the flowers Morgana had sent. Which he’d found to be way more challenging than he’d first anticipated. One only had so many vases. He’d have to text Gwen.  

Although Arthur hadn’t specifically mentioned if the invitation extended to Elyan, Leon had still tried to convince him to come. Elyan had holed himself up in his room, refusing to come out. Not even bribing him with ice cream had worked, which was a foolproof method until now. Leon didn’t know what to do, but he’d figured giving Elyan some space was a good first step. 

“I had breakfast with Morgana this morning.” Arthur said, poking at his egg rolls. “Well, with her and Freya.” Leon immediately stiffed at the name. “Yeah, I figured that would be your reaction.”

“Arthur…”

“Please, it’s fine. I get why you didn’t tell me, obviously. Freya is nice.” Leon nodded. Freya was nice. “I really love Morgana, you know? She’s like a sister to me. I’ve been really worried about her because I’ve been feeling her pull away for a while now, and I feel like I put you in the middle of my worries, and I’m really sorry about that. This can’t have been easy for you, and I didn’t exactly help.”

“Arthur…” Arthur was done with this conversation though, Leon could tell. He’d said what needed to be said and finished with an apology. His friend wasn’t always the best at expressing his emotions, instead he functioned through logistics, him and Morgana were pretty similar in that way, at least to each other. They didn’t tell each other how they felt, they just knew. As if one look between them could hold an entire conversation. Leon had never been able to do that, but he had been around long enough to know what to say next. “Thanks.”

***

After a weekend of self-pity, Elyan returned to the office on Monday morning looking like a walking corpse. He knew it was bad when even Mordred looked up from his desk and eyed him suspiciously. Mordred never cared about Elyan enough to do that.

“Elyan!” Kara exclaimed when she saw him, her entire face filled with worry. “Are you okay?”

Elyan didn’t even have the energy to lie. “Obviously not.”

“Oh, sweetie.” She went in for a hug, but it was one sided, as Elyan just let himself be held rather than returning it. “What happened?”

“I think I’m going to die alone, that’s all.” He heard himself say, which was surprisingly honest for someone who’d barely said two words to their best friend during the entirety of the weekend after weeping in their arms on Friday. 

Kara let go of him in an instant. “Nonsense. No one dies alone.”

“Everyone dies alone babe, that’s like the whole point.” Mordred added, earning himself a dirty look from Kara.

“Is this about Percy? Because I think he really likes you.”

“Can we not talk about Percy, please? I just want to forget about whatever feelings I’ve had for him.” He slumped down at his desk and turned on his computer. It was old and slow, and took what felt like an eternity to start up.

Kara left him alone after that, until lunch came around and she rushed in from her side office. “I’ve got it, I am setting you up!”

“Huh?”

“Setting you up on a date! The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, everyone knows this.” She was practically jumping with glee as she said it. As if she’d just said the most brilliant thing in the entire world. 

“Kara… no.”

“Elyan, I promise it will help. Just one date, and if it sucks I will never bring it up again.”

Elyan thought about it, he hadn’t really dated anyone seriously since Emma, and he’d really like to keep it that way. “No.”

Kara’s face dropped slightly, still attempting to keep a smile. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” She said with a wink. 

*** 

Morgana introduced the rest of the gang to Freya the next Friday at Lance and Gwen's apartment. Morgana was nervous, but unless you knew her well, you couldn’t tell. Leon had noted the similarities between Freya and Merlin pretty quickly, but actually having the two in the same room just confirmed it to him. They were the male and female version of the other. 

They had the exact same humour, he understood why they’d gotten along so well at the hospital. If Merlin wasn’t gay, Leon was sure Arthur would be jealous. Knowing Arthur, he probably still was. Leon wished Elyan had come with him so he could share knowing looks with him about it, they had a telepathic connection when it came to things like this. 

“I’m just so excited for Christmas guys!” Merlin cheered. “I’m going home for the holidays, and I’ve really missed my mum. Her, and uncle Gaius and Will!”

“Who’s Will?” Gwen asked. 

“Will’s Merlin’s Mithian.” Arthur chimed in, looking pleased to show off that he knew more about Merlin than Freya, as if to mark his territory. 

“Who’s Mithian?” Gwaine asked.

“Mithian is my best friend from school.” Morgana answered. The pair had met when they were fifteen and had eventually bonded over the fact that they were both lesbians. Morgana didn’t have a lot of female friends, or close friends in general, but Mithian was an exception. Another heiress coming from old money who spent her time travelling and giving back to the world. She held a lot of galas for different causes that earned a shitton of money, even though most of the people who attended said galas had no idea where their money was going half of the time. 

“Is he your ex boyfriend then?” Gwen queried.

“Mithian and I have never dated!” Morgana exclaimed. “Sure, we both fancied the other at one point or another, but that was because the lesbian pool in our neighbourhood was minimal. We do share an ex though.” Morgana finished, taking a swig of her drink. 

“Ah yes, Vivian.” Leon remenissed. 

“We don’t speak her name.” Arthur said in his best Morgana impression, before he, Leon and Morgana all burst out laughing. 

“Sometimes I forget you guys grew up together.” Gwen said. “It’s both adorable and gives me terrible FOMO.” Leon noted that Lance gave her a little squeeze at that.

“Speaking of people who have grown up together, where’s Elyan?” Percy asked. He’d been awfully quiet the entire evening, since he usually spent his time talking to Elyan. He’d occupied the only armchair in the room, and was wistfully sipping away at his beer.  

“Sick.” Leon lied. That’s what Elyan had told him to say if anyone asked about him. 

“Should I bring over some chicken noodle soup tomorrow?“ Gwen asked, immediately entering her mum mode. She might be the younger sister, but when it came to her brother she was a tad overprotective. When their mother passed away when they were younger, Gwen had adopted a very nurturing role she’d never been able to shake. When Emma and Elyan had broken up Gwen had been on edge the entire time, barely sleeping. She worried too much about people, which was both a beautiful quality of her, whilst simultaneously being one of her more self destructive ones. 

“He’ll be grand Gwen, just needs to sleep.” Leon tried to assure her, as to not spoil her mood for the evening. “Freya, you’re from Sweden, yeah? Are you going home for the holidays?” He asked, quickly averting the attention away from Elyan.

“That’s the plan.” Morgana answered for her.

“Babe.” Freya gave Morgana a look that told her she could speak for herself, and the other silenced. “Yes, I hope so. I miss everyone so much! I love Christmas, it’s my favourite time of the year!”

“Mine too!” Merlin exclaimed. It took no effort at all for them to strike up a conversation about their favourite holiday traditions. Leon was certain they were platonic soulmates. He could see Arthur tense up slightly, but Merlin seemed to sense it too and put his hand over his boyfriends. At that Arthur seemingly calmed. What spell did these people have over the Pendragon/Le Fay clan? 

“Speaking of Mithian, she’s coming to visit soon.”

“Another fundraiser?” Arthur asked.

“You know it. It’s going to be great, you’re all gonna love her. Well… most of you.” She said and glanced at Gwaine.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I wouldn’t worry about it.” If Morgana was referring to the fact that Mithian definitely would not enjoy Gwaine’s sense of humour, his clothes, or the fact that he’d try to flirt with her, unintentionally of course, then yeah, Mithian would not like Gwaine. Sure, Morgana was flirty in nature, and Gwaine was right there with her. But Mithian, despite being charming to the tee when it came to luring rich people to donate money, was relatively conservative in comparison to her friends. 

Morgana and Arthur were up there, but both had certainly calmed down through the years. As much as one could hope anyways. 

“I bet you ten pounds I’ll charm her pants off.” Gwaine insisted.

“Lesbian, Gwaine.” Morgana reminded him.

“It’s a figure of speech love. Now are you in or not?”

“Yeah. Anyone else wants to get in on this. Watch Gwaine lose some money.” Arthur and Leon immediately did. 

***

Is it immature to hide from someone the way Elyan was from Percy? Yes. Did he have any intention to stop it? No. He’d been reserved towards Leon all week, and that was his best friend. He’d been avoiding eye contact with Kara at work since she’d suggested setting him up, and although he’d hoovered over the phone a couple of times, debating if he should call Gwen or not, he’d eventually ruled against it. 

He just wanted to be left alone. Elyan wasn’t even necessarily sad about the Percy thing anymore (lies), he was just embarrassed by the way he’d just ran away after it had been revealed. How was he supposed to face Percy after that? He wanted to talk to Leon, he really did, but he was so sick of hearing everyone try to reassure him and tell him lies that gave him false hope. 

He’d had a lot of time to think about the past during the last few days when he’d been avoiding everyone, and through the silence he’d found deep scars that Emma left when she chose another. Elyan had said he understood, he still stood by that. It didn’t change the damage it had done to his confidence in his dating life, the feeling of not being good enough. Feeling like damaged goods that were unlovable and easy to replace. 

Maybe he should take Kara up on her offer and throw himself out there again. Perhaps it would help, or worse, just confirm what he was already feeling. Confirm that he wasn’t meant to be loved, not in a romantic way at least. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing, Leon was doing great after all, perhaps Elyan would too. He’d managed so far, what was an eternity more? 

Perhaps he should call Gwen. Or maybe not, he didn’t want to bother her. She always had to deal with his problems and it just wasn’t fair. When they were younger and their mother passed, Gwen had not shed a single tear in front of either him or their dad for a month. He knew she’d cried, their bedrooms were wall to wall, and you could hear practically anything through them, including Gwen’s tiny sobs she tried to suppress in her pillow. It broke his heart that he couldn’t be a better brother back then, and even more that he still seemed to have the exact same problem. 

***

“Morgana, you need to stop sending us stuff, our flat looks like the secret garden.”

“God, so ungrateful. Has no one ever told you that when you get a present you’re supposed to say thank you? Where are your manners? Who raised you?”

“The lillies were my idea,” Freya declared proudly, ignoring Morgana's words. “They’re my favourite flower!”

“I love orchids.” Merlin told her, “Or daffodils.”

“Oh, yes!”

Leon couldn’t help but look at Arthur, to get an indication of his feelings. The stupid git was smiling. Very obviously so, and Leon was certain he wasn’t even sure he was aware of it himself. Morgana also smiled, but more deliberately so. As if she just couldn’t quite help it. God, he needed to get more aroace friends. 

***

Elyan should’ve known he couldn’t avoid Gwen forever. Eventually his sister would figure something was wrong. He was rudely awoken by Gwen storming into his room with a thermos. “Eat up and tell me what’s wrong?” She handed him the mug, and he immediately took a sip.

It was chicken noodle soup, their granny's special recipe she’d always make for them when they were younger. She claimed it could cure any disease. When Elyan was little he genuinely believed it was magical. Now he just considered it damn good soup.

“You shouldn’t be here, wouldn’t wanna catch anything.”

“Cut the crap, E. I know you’re not actually sick. At least not in any physical way.” She got under the covers next to him, and took the thermos back to take a sip herself. “Tell me what’s wrong please, I’m really worried about you, E. 

“That’s the problem isn’t it. You shouldn’t have to worry about me. I’m your older brother.”

“I worry if I want to! I like worrying, I’m good at it.”

“This really isn’t helping.”

“Well perhaps you don’t need help, maybe you just need someone to come over and tell you to get out of bed.”

“Kara offered to set me up with someone.”

“Kara from work? That’s… good?”

“Gwen, do you think I’m unlovable?” His sister looked visibly offended at this, as if such an insinuation was preposterous. 

“Don’t be daft.

“Well, Emma certainly thought I was.”

Now Gwen just looked annoyed. “Really, Emma again? I thought you were over her.”

“I am over her.” He really was. 

“Then why are you bringing her up?”

“Because… she left me for someone else. Someone better.”

“Someone better for her.” Gwen corrected. “Emma left you for someone better suited for her. Not someone better than you. No one is better.” And perhaps Elyan just hadn’t slept enough for the last couple of days, spent too much time thinking and not enough time telling his brain to shut the fuck up, but hearing those words was all it took for him to start crying. 

Gwen put an arm around him and pulled him in for an embrace that was all too familiar at this point. He didn’t make a sound, he just let the tears speak for him. Let them say what he hadn’t been able to for the past days. And Gwen was listening, and soon enough responding. Elyan could feel Gwen’s own tears falling on his face, mixing with his own until it all meant nothing. 

“Why are you crying?” He eventually managed to ask. 

“Because I love you, you idiot. And I don’t like seeing you cry.” 

“Dito. Especially about you being an idiot.” Gwen chuckled at that. 

“Are you ready to tell me everything now?”

So Elyan did. Starting from the beginning, talking about his feelings for Percy, and his stupid insecurites. About how seeing Kara again was going to feel awkward, and how lost he felt at the moment. In turn Gwen talked too. She talked about Lance, and his lower days. About how stressed she was about school, and how her recent assignment hadn’t gone as well as she’d hoped. Elyan gave her support, offered her help, and for the first time he realised that perhaps he wasn’t such a terrible brother after all. 

They both talked, and talked for what felt like hours until there was nothing left to be said, and for the first time in a week Elyan finally felt okay. 

***

“You wanted to see me sir.” Leon said. It wasn’t often he was called to the headmasters office, so it was slightly unsettling to have been requested specifically. 

“Have a seat.” He gestured towards the chair opposite him. An old leather armchair that looked older than he did. It was hard as a rock, and Leon felt his face scrunch up as he sat. “Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to see me.” Like he had a choice. 

“Of course.”

“You’re probably wondering why you’ve been called. Well I’ll cut right to the case. There’s been a formal complaint filed against you from one of the parents. They consider your way of teaching to be…” He didn’t finish that sentence. “Anyways, we’ve curated a list of literature that is deemed inappropriate for young minds.”

Leon scanned over the list quickly and couldn’t help the frown that formed on his face. “Sir, with all due respect, this list seems to mainly restrict literature written by non-white authors and any piece of fiction that isn’t about a straight white male.”  

“Mr. Taylor, I’d thank you to follow the instructions that you’ve been given. Is that clear?”

“Who complained?”

“Mr. Taylor-”

“Was it Beatrice's mum? Because that woman’s always got it out for me.”

“I am not authorised to tell. What I can tell you is that your current attitude is not appreciated, and for future preference I’d recommend you leave it at home.”

Leon clenched his teeth to not say something he’d regret. He really couldn’t afford losing his job. “Of course, sir. Thank you, sir.” He grabbed the literary list and as soon as he’d left the office he tore it in two. The receptionist caught his eye and saw as he threw it in the nearest bin. He challenged her with a look, but she quickly averted her eyes back to her computer. There was no way in hell Leon would stop encouraging his students to diversify their reading, not a single way in hell. 

***

The next time Elyan saw Kara at work he hesitated before approaching. His talk with Gwen had really helped him get out of his slump, but to actually ask her to set him up on a date… it felt a bit strange. 

“How can I help you today love?” She asked as he entered her office. 

“Well… I… You, well.” He swallowed hard. “I was wondering if the offer of you setting me up with someone was still on the table.” It came out really quietly, but he knew Kara had heard when he saw her eyes light up. 

“Yes! God this will be fun, tell me what you’re looking for.”

He thought for a moment. Despite spending so much time thinking the past week, he hadn’t put much thought into what he was actually looking for in a partner. The answer up until Saturday had been Percy, but that just wasn’t an option. 

“I’m open for anything.” He finally said. He’d tried dating his own way, perhaps it was time to just leave his faith in someone else’s hands. 

“Are you sure?” Elyan nodded. “Alright, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Probably.” Kara’s smile was brilliant. 

Elyan was definitely going to regret this. 

Chapter Text

Date 1: Beloved

“Gwaine, you’re soaked!” Gwen exclaimed. Gwaine's hair was dripping from the tips and his shirt had a massive uneven stain on the front. He reeked of tequila. This wasn’t the first time Gwaine had arrived in such a state to the pub, once he’d showed up completely wet from head to toe despite there not being any rain outside. Be that as it may, this was the first time he’d arrived with a stone cold expression plastered onto his face. 

Gwaine wiped away some of the drink that was dripping from his face, trying to get it away from his eyes. “This rude woman threw it at me.” He sneered. All of his usual charm was nowhere to be found as he slid into his seat. Percy placed an arm around his best friend, but Leon couldn’t help but note the little smile that crept onto his face as he comfortingly patted his arm. 

“You will not believe the creep that just hit on me, he told me he-” 

“You.” Gwaine glared.

“You.” Mithian had only been in town for about a day and Gwaine had already managed to earn one of Mithian’s famous death stares. The pair were glaring daggers at each other that caused tension that couldn’t be cut with a knife. 

“Mithian, I see you’ve met Gwaine.” Morgana’s smile was as bright as both Leon and her cousins. All three had known Mithian a long time, this horrible first interaction wasn't at all surprising to them, but instead something they’d fully anticipated and hoped for. None of them could quite hide how hilarious they found it which did nothing to Gwaine’s sour mood. 

“I’d say it’s a pleasure, but that would be a lie.” Mithian put down the drinks she’d offered to get before sitting down on a stool next to Morgana, scooting it closer to her friend so as to not sit close to Gwaine. 

Freya had gone home earlier than expected to visit her parents, because they’d insisted that it was their right as her parents, and with her recently being cancer free, this was the first time she’d been able to travel since getting sick. She’d be gone for almost an entire month. Morgana had taken to spending time away from her girlfriend for the first time in a while, especially for such a long time, about as well as one would expect her to. Apart from nearly spontaneously purchasing Leon a new bed once, she hadn’t done anything too insane since she and Leon dropped Freya off at the airport. 

“So Merlin, you’re a doctor?” Mithian asked, turning her attention away from Gwaine, shifting her entire body in the process so the man wouldn’t be in her peripheral vision. 

She’d been introduced to everyone earlier when she’d arrived with Morgana and politely shook everyone’s hands, asked them questions about their work and studies and been just as well behaved as she’d been raised to be. She was particularly interested in Merlin, which Leon figured had something to do with the fact that he was going out with Arthur. Mithian had always had a soft spot for Arthur in which no one quite understood. At least not him, nor Morgana for that matter.  

“Well, there’s a few years left until I’ve officially passed that threshold, but one day I hope to be. Otherwise all those student loans will certainly feel like more of a slap than they already do.”

“He’s funny Arthur,” She smiled. “I always thought you’d go for Gwen, but he’s a pleasant surprise.”

“Why would he go for me?” Gwen asked. Arthur’s entire face went red.

“Can we not-”

“Oh dear, he used to be so infatuated with you.” Mithian said, “I thought you knew that.”

“Well, it’s not too much of a stretch, Gwen used to like Arthur too.” Morgana chimed in thoughtfully. It was now Gwen’s turn to look embarrassed. Leon really loved Morgana like a sister and Mithian had always been very kind to him, however, the pair had a tendency to be extremely blunt to others, especially when they were put together and alcohol was involved. They were chatting away like the people they were talking about weren’t sitting right there.  

“I think it’s cute.” Lance piped up, placing a tiny kiss on Gwen’s head. There was not a single trace of jealousy coming from him, just a will to make Gwen feel less embarrassed. 

“It was also like a million years ago.” Arthur tried.

“Who cares? Me and Merlin used to go out.” Gwaine added, absentmindedly.

“You also went out with my cousin,” Merlin interjected, “So I don’t think it’s saying much.”

“This has escalated,” Leon said. “That being said, I am surprised Arthur isn’t seething in rage and jealousy at this information.”

“Some people talk to their partners.” Arthur grumbled. 

“Besides, it was only for like a week. Barely counts.” Gwaine continued.

“Hey! It does for me, you were my first boyfriend.”

“And we’ve officially veered into sad territory.” Morgana finished. “Does anyone want another drink?”

***

He checked the time again. Ten past. Edwin was late. Kara had warned him that he might be, because apparently Edwin usually was for band practice. Elyan remembered him as the guy from Gwaine’s band who had a scar across his face. It was the first person Kara had decided to set him up with. She’d truthfully told him that it was either Edwin or Gwaine, and Elyan would rather die than go on a date with Gwaine. That would’ve been way too embarrassing, especially since he just happened to be best friends with the very person Elyan was trying to forget. 

No. Elyan was not going to think about he who shall not be named. Not now, not ever…

“Are you Elyan?” Someone asked. He looked up to be met by a face he immediately recognised. Edwin had shoulder length hair, very similar to Gwaine’s but a bit lighter. His stage persona seemed to translate into his everyday life, because he was just as showy offstage, as he was on it. Elyan thought it dressed him quite well. Blue eyeliner which was paired with what he was almost certain was glitter all over his face. He figured that’s what it was, because it was sparkling in the light. Edwin wore a floral suit that would look tacky on almost anyone except for him apparently, because he sold it with complete confidence in himself which made it look like it had been tailored specifically for him. 

“Yeah.” He said, trying not to sound as intimidated as he felt. Edwin seemed a bit too cool for him. He was already insecure enough as it was, this just threw him off even more. Maybe Gwaine would’ve been better, at least then he could say it was a friendship date. They hadn’t had a lot of time one-on-one, however, he did find Gwaine and his stories entertaining enough and wouldn’t have minded to waste away an evening where Gawine talked and Elyan sipped some wine.  

“Sorry I’m late, the tube decided to be a twat as usual.”

“That’s alright.” He tried for a confident smile, but ended up looking slightly constipated instead. Luckily Edwin seemed to pay it no mind, his date simply pulled the chair out opposite him and gracefully slumped down in it. 

“Look, I feel it’s important to get this out in the open straight away. Kara might have let it slip that you’re not really the dating type and are just looking to get comfortable with the whole ordeal. Personally, I’m not much for dating myself. At least not the kind that requires commitment. However, I don’t mind being used.” He winked at the last part, and Elyan felt his face heat. “So this really doesn’t have to be a big deal or anything, let’s just see where the night takes us, alright?” Elyan could do that. He tried for that smile again and gave Edwin a little nod. This time Edwin affirmed his smile by returning one. Elyan could totally do this. “Shall we order some wine?” Elyan could definitely do that. 

***

“Jesus, where have you been?” Leon had been worried sick about Elyan since last night. Although his friend had informed him he wouldn’t be coming home (which he knew most of their friend group never would), he still couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve kept him out all night. When Leon got back from the pub before midnight, calmed and collected after some beers, Elyan’s text had sobered him right up. 

Elyan looked a bit embarrassed as he closed the door behind him. “Nowhere.” He mumbled. “What, were you worried?”

“That’s not funny, you know I was.” Elyan smiled at him and this time it was Leon’s turn to look sheepish.

“I might have… gone home with my date.” His friend finally confessed. Leon couldn’t help but look surprised. He really didn’t mean to, but it was just…

“That’s not like you.” He heard himself say without thinking. The last thing he wanted to do was come across as judgemental, however, it wasn’t his fault Elyan was going through some rebellious phase usually reserved for people in their teens. For someone who hated to be the parent in his friends' love lives, Leon was certainly breaking that rule today. 

“No, well, no… I guess not.” It was said in a very thoughtful way, as if Elyan was just now thinking about how uncharacteristic of him this move had been. “But then again, maybe that was the reason I did it? One bottle of wine in and Edwin’s offer to go back to his place didn’t seem too crazy.”

Perhaps Leon had been a bit quick to judge… “At least tell me you don’t regret it.”

Elyan took a moment to think and then said truthfully, “No, I really don’t.”

***

Date 2: Wallflower 

Kara didn’t have a lot of cousins. Two to be exact, according to herself. One of them was Greta Bloom, and she was… well… quiet. Elyan wasn’t known for his great conversation skills, however, he’d hoped that Kara would’ve compensated for that when she set him up with someone. 

It was strange to think about how a fellow introvert could turn Elyan into the extrovert in the equation. Yet here they were, eating in silence as Elyan was raking his brain for something to say.

“So… how do you know Kara?”

“She’s my cousin.” Greta deadpanned. Elyan mentally facepalmed himself. He already knew that. This had certainly not helped to kick start the conversation, rather it had made it halt to a complete stop.

He picked up a cocktail tomato with his fork and put it in his mouth. If he’d been with Percy right now this would never have happened. He’d made a promise to not think about Percy, but decided the dead silence would be his exception. If it was silence she wanted, it was silence she was going to get. 

***

“When do you leave?” Leon asked. He was in the kitchen, preparing a salad. He’d invited Morgana and Mithian over for dinner, which somehow had included Merlin and Arthur on Mithian’s request. 

It was less than a month until Christmas. Freya had been gone for a week and Mithian only had a few days left in town until she was off again. Arthur was sprawled over the couch, it was his home away from home after all, with Merlin at his side. Morgana was setting the table, as Mithian not so sneakily was having a look around the flat, occasionally complementing some decor that always happened to be from Morgana. It was scary how similar their taste was. 

“Two weeks. It’s a wonder I got the holidays off from work.” Merlin said. “I’ve been working so much it feels like I’ve barely got any time to study. I’m lucky Arthur is the way he is, or I’d never get anything done.”

“What, does he hold out even more than he usually does if you don’t pick up a book?” Morgana asked, earning a pillow coming her way from Arthur. 

“Careful!” Leon scolded.

“You wish. No, he’s just really encouraging and is always respectful of my study time. He’s even leant me his flat to study. I live in what might as well be a cupboard.” As Merlin said this he firmly held Arthur’s hand. Leon supposed Merlin standing up for Arthur like that was rather sweet. Arthur could be a total twat, but sometimes everything went a bit too far.

“Could’ve been worse, could’ve been the spray flask.” Mithian chimed in.

“Oh god, not the spray flask! I swear, it was Uncle Uther’s poison of choice. He never got such a high as when he pulled that out.” Morgana said. 

When they were younger, and Leon went over to the Pendragon household to study, he’d bared witness to Uther’s method of keeping his kids focused in their studies. Mainly drenching them in water to keep them focused. Arthur especially got this treatment a lot, because he was more prone to act out as a child, which admittedly might have made him into such a high strung person today.  Although the bottle was used less and less over the years, it had been on display for everyone to see. It was concerning how little Uther cared when it came to people knowing how much he mistreated his children. 

“At least it wasn’t a belt. Grandfather Pendragon loved the belt.” Arthur defended. 

“Good riddance.” Morgana said. “Not a single year shedd for his absence.”

“Here, here.” Mithian said. “Leon, bring out the wine.” 

Cheering for the death of abusive grandparents was apparently in fashion and as they set to eat, they clinked their glasses with some fancy wine Mithian had brought and cursed old man Pendragon's previously good name. As far as dinner parties went, he’d call this one a success. 

***

Date 3: Alaska 

It had only been a few days since Elyan met Greta. Still he found himself on yet another date already per Kara’s request. He’d tried calling the whole thing off, but she’d insisted he had to complete her list of choices, convinced that at least one of them would strike his fancy. She was really hard to say no to, which was why he was now seeing Joseph. 

Kara had met Joseph at school and insisted he was a right laugh. Elyan was starting to wonder if she’d meant that in another way. Rather than being funny in a “he’s witty and makes funny remarks,” he figured people were laughing more at him rather than with him. 

He had about two percent body fat, reminding him of Percy’s build, which normally would’ve been distraction enough were it not for the fact that he at some point referred to Alaska as a country. Elyan couldn’t even remember how that came up in the first place. When he’d slept with Edwin on his first date, he’d been surprised by his own calm over the whole ordeal. It had felt so out of character for him, yet it made so much sense as well. Now though, he couldn’t even pretend it would lead to that. Edwin had at least been charming; if a bit blunt. There was zero pressure to perform, which had allowed Elyan to just pretend he was someone else for a while. Joseph brought with him none of that calm, just a constant state of stress for his well being with every new story he told. 

“One time, my friend tried laxatives for fun, right? And he was jumping on a trampoline to see how long he’d last. It was hilarious!” There was no punchline, no build up, no nothing. Just a statement and a laugh.  Elyan didn’t think the story sounded hilarious at all. It sounded more concerning than anything. He made a mental note to never see Joseph ever again. 

***

“Leon, calm down.”

“No, they can’t do this. What is this, Texas?”

“Leon.”

“I’m gonna quit.”

“Leon-“

“I’m dead serious, I’m going to fucking quit.”

“Right before the winter holidays?”

“How is allowing our future to engage with our past a bad thing? Tell me Jessica, tell me!”

Jessica couldn’t tell him. She was a colleague of his and a fellow English teacher, usually quick with her wits, now stunned to silence. Leon never thought he’d see the day when their little school became a police state, but here they were. Books were being banned left right and centre, certain science textbooks had to have pages glued together and Mr. Robinson who’d been with the school for over twenty years had recently been fired because of his sexuality, not stated outright because that would actually be illegal, however everyone knew that was the case. What had started as a feeble threat was gaining fruition real quickly and it was all thanks to the Tanners. 

John Tanner was an American fundamentalist that had infected the minds of the other parents of their students. Leon wasn’t violent by nature, but if given the choice he’d punch Mr. Tanner without a single ounce of hesitation. No one quite infuriated him like that man. With his fake kindness and venomous words disguised with a smile. Bianca Tanner, his wife, who was a whole decade younger than him, had little to say about her husband's actions and as a result their daughter Rachel suffered.

She was one of Leon’s brightest students, one of those most eager to learn. It was heartbreaking. He didn’t want to let his students down, didn’t want to abandon them during this mess. However, there were parts of him that weren’t well appreciated by the overheads. They certainly didn’t appreciate Leon’s honesty with his students about his sexuality, or lack thereof. Didn’t like when he went against his words, it was either quit while he was ahead, or eventually get sacked like Mr. Robinson had. His Christmas Holidays got a lot more stressful all of a sudden. 

***

Date 4: Drama

“So? What did you think of her?” What had Elyan thought of Candice, another one of Kara’s friends from uni? Well, it was clear she’d been at uni with Kara, that much was certain. 

From the instant they’d arrived at the restaurant, from the moment they left, Elyan wasn’t sure if Candice even wanted to be there. He was friends with a lot of people who were hard to read, however, he’d spent years learning to decipher their expressions and what they meant. Candice on the other hand, he’d only spent one evening with and she’d spent more time insulting him than anything else, even if it was unintentional. She reminded him of Kara, but on the opposite side of the spectrum. A lot meaner, yet just as frightening. 

“She was… interesting.”

“You didn’t like her?” Kara’s face dropped.

“What, no! That’s not what I said!” 

“Four dates, and so far you’ve only scoured with one person. How utterly disappointing.”

“He told you about that?” 

“Obviously. Lucky for you, Edwin doesn’t share details. Anyways, tomorrow is a new day and Jenna is just the right girl for you.”

“No more dates please.”

Kara’s eyes went all big and for the first time she looked a bit alert. “But this is the big finale. The one the rest of them has been leading up to.”

“What?” 

“This was the one all along, E. Don’t kill my plan.”

“What do you mean?”

“I needed you to go on some terrible dates to break your barriers down. I gave you Edwin for a smooth start, a bit smoother than I first thought, but hey, more power to you. Greta is the absolute best, but she’s really quiet, and I knew she’d force you out of your shell, which is way easier with someone who is way quieter than you. Joseph is a great example of what not to do and Candice is a bit foul mouthed, which would make my next one an absolute saint in comparison. Jenna has been the one all along. I maybe shouldn’t have told you that, because maybe telling you all of this will jinx it, but I promise you. She. Is. The. One.”

Elyan hesitated for a moment. It was a hell of a lot of information to take in at once. Although, he was four dates in now. So maybe one more…

“You promise me this is the last one.”

“I promise!”

“Fine. One more.” 

***

“I might hand in my notice.” Leon told Arthur. He’d had a long chat with Elyan about it the day before. One where Elyan had been just as supportive as one could ask their best friend to be. He’d felt very distant from his friend for a while, so it was nice to be reminded of what a brilliant addition to his life Elyan genuinely was. 

Arthur was as usual occupying their sofa. Elyan hadn’t come home from work yet, but when Leon walked through the door after a long day trying to sneak in as much prohibited material as possible and found Arthur just sitting there, he couldn’t help the words that came out of his mouth. It wasn’t even something he’d fully decided yet, and still, as he said it, he knew where he was heading.

“Care to elaborate?” 

“It’s a damn police state Arthur, I’m not allowed to teach them anything anymore. The higher ups are constantly on my arse, and there is simply no joy anymore in my work. I love teaching. I adore literature. But with all of these restrictions it is really taking a toll on me. Do you think I’m being dramatic.”

Arthur blinked. 

“I think,” He looked thoughtful, as if he was considering very carefully what he was going to say next. “You’re a really good man, Leon. And a splendid teacher, unless our friends used to lie when they said you were a brilliant tutor.” Leon smiled at that. He’d always been ready to help his friends out with any problems when it came to their school work. (Even when they didn’t particularly ask for it). Helping others just came naturally to him, apparently. “You spend a lot of time being selfless, but sometimes life requires some selfishness. You don’t want to disappoint your students, but sticking around and being miserable will just hurt not only yourself, but everyone else as well, in the long run. Does that help?”

“That might be the most endearing thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Well.”

“Mind telling me why you’re here? I might be able to instil some wisdom back.”

“Merlin needed a quiet place to study. His flat is tiny and his neighbours are loud.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“Well,” Arthur shrugged. “You don’t mind if I crash here, do you?”

“Have you ever cared about my permission before?”

“I suppose not.”

“Well then. Guess there’s your answer.” 

***

When Elyan woke up, he did so at four am. A horrendous time to wake and an even worse time to not be able to fall back asleep at. He’d been home late the night before, and had found Arthur on their sofa, drinking tea and watching reruns of That 70s Show with Leon. He’d gone straight to bed, not feeling like exchanging words with the Pendragon heir. 

That same man was sitting wide awake on the sofa at four am, as Elyan went toward the kitchens to make some morning tea. 

“Good morning.” He said, earning a light nod in response. Arthur’s head was buried in his phone, extremely focused on something Elyan assumed was for work. If he had to guess, he’d say he was answering an email. Elyan didn’t quite understand the work Arthur did. 

“Tea?” To this he got a thumbs up.

He put the kettle on, hoping the sound wouldn’t wake Leon up. Elyan rummaged a cupboard for some tea bags and took out two cups with Simpson motifs on them. Elyan and Leon had gotten one each on the first holiday they went on together. It was during their first year at uni. The Pendragons had a summer house in France, and against all odds Elyan had been invited to come with. 

At a random market, they’d found Simpson mugs, one with Homer, one with Marge, and they’d jokingly called it their own couple mugs. No, they’d never be romantically involved, but Leon was still Elyan’s strongest relation, and he’d be his platonic other half forever. 

He handed Arthur the Homer cup, which he accepted without lifting his gaze. Although he didn’t feel completely comfortable with Arthur around, he’d still been through this whole ordeal enough to not completely hide away in his room. 

It was silent for a while, before Arthur finally closed his phone and said: “Couldn’t sleep?”

“No.” Elyan replied, taking a sip of his drink. “You?”

“I don’t have a particularly good sleep schedule. This is kind of common for me.”

“Oh.”

Silence again. 

“How’s it going between you and Percy?” This caught Elyan a bit off guard. Not only because it implied Arthur had caught on, but also that he cared enough to do so. “Don’t look so surprised please, we’re not exactly strangers, are we?” Well, no. They weren’t, of course they weren’t. They’d holidayed in France together for Christ’s sake. 

He wondered how honest he should be, but decided that if Arthur cared enough to notice, perhaps Elyan could at least be truthful in return. “It’s not, if I’m honest. I, well, I asked Kara to set me up with other people.”

“Oh.” Arthur replied. He could read Arthur alright, however, his current face was impossible to decipher. “Well, how’s that going for you?”

“Not… great.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s cool.”

“You’re a really nice guy Elyan, you deserve someone great I think.”

Elyan smiled at that. Maybe because it was Arthur who’d said it, which just seemed to mean a little bit more than when other people said it. Everyone else could say it, but Elyan knew that Arthur really meant it. He was being unusually kind, and this kindness made Elyan brave. 

“Arthur, how do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You really like Merlin, yet you’re horrendously awkward about it. Anyone who didn’t know you might interpret it differently, but you do really like him, I can tell. You’re kind of awkward about it but you’re still doing it, it’s just….” Elyan wasn’t even sure what he was asking. It was just… maybe he and Arthur weren’t all that different when it came to all of these things. “Sorry, I-” 

Arthur put a hand up to silence him, and as if on cue Elyan’s voice silenced as he took another sip of his tea. “I think I always knew that I was bi, right? I mean, if anyone can understand that, I think it’d be you.” Elyan just nodded. Although he wasn’t bi, liking people regardless of gender did seem to get lumped together with bisexuality quite a lot, and despite the differences, just this specific thing hadn’t been that different for him. “Even before I knew… My life just started making a lot more sense once I figured it out. Like, was Zacharias just someone I stopped being friends with, or did I end it intentionally just in time before people started to get the wrong idea?”

“I didn’t start accepting these parts about myself until very late in life, because my father didn’t exactly nurture a safe environment for me to explore this part about myself. Morgana never cared much about what my dad thought, because she’s always been above it all, but after mum died, I just never wanted to disappoint him.” Elyan just nodded. He could understand that more than anyone. Every single day he missed his mother and constantly tried to make her proud. 

“Like, would it be easier to just go off and marry a woman to please him? Well, yeah, of course. But it wouldn’t have been truthful. I could never be whole, until I accepted that other half of myself that I was trying to suppress. Regardless of who I was dating, that would still need to be done. I know the others take the piss about my lack of public affection and need for intoxication, it’s just… I’m not a hundred percent there yet, you know? I can’t always be overly affectionate with Merlin when I’m sober because I tend to overthink. There’s a part of my brain that hasn’t yet accepted what my heart wants, and who knows if that part will ever be silenced.” 

They both sat in a shared quiet. Each taking small sips of their teas. Elyan had never heard Arthur say so many things at once. Especially not words laced with such emotion and raw honesty. He didn’t know why Arthur had decided to tell him all of this. Maybe because he knew Elyan would never make fun of him, or perhaps this would’ve been said to just about anyone soon enough, because Arthur was just carrying these feelings around, and Elyan got the impression that he didn’t always get to share them with the others. They could be really cruel about how awkward Arthur could be, and hearing this side of it really made Elyan feel bad. 

“I’m sorry for just unloading all of this onto you. I don’t know what came over me.” Arthur finally said. “I should head home. I think I’ve overstayed my welcome.” Arthur stood from the sofa, but Elyan quickly put a hand on Arthur’s arm. 

“Thank you. For telling me all of that. You really didn’t have to, but it really helped. I don’t want you to feel bad for having emotions Arthur, because it’s all very normal. You and I, we’re both great at hiding things, but maybe we should stop trying so hard to pretend like the world doesn’t get to us.” 

“You’re not… you’re not going to tell anyone what I said, right?”

Elyan shook his head. “Never.”

“Alright, I just… Merlin knows about this by the way. It’s not, it’s, I just don’t want the others to, well- you know? I mean, well…” 

“It’s all good.” He said, trying to sound as reassuring as he could muster. 

“Thanks. I really should get going though.” Arthur went over to the sink to clean his cup, and Elyan turned on the telly. It was an old episode of the Graham Norton show on, which apparently appealed to the audience of the early hours of the day.

He really started to think about the words Arthur had said, as well as the things he’d told him in return. Figuring his own sexuality out had been a lot smoother than what Arthur had described, because he grew up with parents who reassured him that they’d love him no matter what. He’d liked people of all walks of life for as long as he could remember. He was a very shy guy, which meant that he hadn’t exactly dated that much, period. However, the actual liking part had always seemed easy. 

His mind drifted to Percy. The man who’d unintentionally broken his heart without even knowing it. What did he actually see in him? What made this man so special in his eyes? He was really kind and attentive to Elyan’s needs, but so was every other person in their friend group one way or another. Even the ones that intimidated him. He was funny, Elyan thought, which wasn’t a unique trait either, neither was the fact that he was fit. Maybe it was because Percy had noticed. Percy had seen Elyan, had always engaged with him and made him feel heard. He’d sat with him the entire duration Elyan was at Gwen and Lance’s party. Elyan had fallen for the first person that had shown him an ounce of kindness, and by seeing it in that way, he felt he was finally ready to let go. Kara had promised that Jenna was the one, and although those were big words to fill, he knew that it never would be so unless he actually gave Jenna a genuine chance. 

Percy had still occupied his heart during those previous dates. He missed their talks and their jokes and everything that they’d created between them. Edwin’s association with his friends had brought him back to Percy. Greta’s silence made him miss the way Percy filled it. Joseph’s appearance reminded him of Percy. When Candice said rude things it made him miss Percy’s kindness. In all those dates Percy was lurking in his mind and he was done with that. Jenna deserved an honest shot, that is what she was going to get. 

***

Date 5: Brave new world 

Leon handed in his notice a week before the Christmas holidays. It was a big decision he really should’ve waited to make until he’d talked about it with his parents. However, Arthur’s words had really stuck with him. Perhaps he was allowed to be a bit selfish once in a while. Elyan had supported his decision, Merlin had given him an awkward high five, while Arthur had given him one of his formal nods. Morgana had slapped him over the head, called him an idiot and then hugged him. Gwen and Lance had given him a little card and some flowers, which was much nicer than what his former colleagues had gifted him. The flat was soon flooded with new things Leon had knitted, because it turns out that when you don’t have to care about lessons in January or have papers to mark, suddenly all that free time has to go somewhere else. Despite the rush of the decision, he didn’t regret having made it. The only thing that mattered now though was, what the hell was he supposed to do next?

***

Elyan had chosen the place this time. It was only coffee, he thought. He could do that. Elena smiled as she took his order and told him of one of her recent assignments, which he happily listened to until some customers behind him started tapping their foot impatiently and Elyan was forced to move along. 

As Elyan sat down to wait, the aura of the place really was soothing his nerves better than anything had the past few dates. They’d all been on others terms, it was finally happening on his own.

“Elyan?” Someone said above him, casting a small shadow over the table. He looked up and locked eyes with a woman. She had short brown hair that she let hang to the sides, brown eyes that looked warm and kind as well as a tiny shy smile that made Elyan feel safe. 

“Jenna?” 

“Yes! Alright, I’m just going to order really quick. You don’t mind if I leave my coat here, do you?” She asked. He told her he really didn’t, and she left quickly to order before returning with a tiny biscuit and some herbal tea.

“It’s really lovely to meet you Elyan, I’ve heard so many good things about you. Kara always goes on and on about work, I swear she can interpret any book through a work related lens.”

“You know Kara through books?” He asked in surprise.  

“Yeah, we’re in a book club together. I work at the Canada Water Library, and we organise these book circles that Kara is a part of. There’s been a lot of Jane Austen lately, which has lent itself to some rather… interesting interpretations.”

“How does one butcher Austen?” He mused. 

“By implying it’s all a simulation.” 

“How can one even draw such a conclusion? Leon would be furious!”

“Well, Leon is right. It’s an insane conclusion to make. He seems clever.”

“He is,” Elyan said, realising not everyone he met knew who Leon was. “Leon’s my flatmate by the way. Also best mate. He’s an english teacher, so he has a lot of literary opinions. You don’t live with a literature nerd without gaining some opinions of your own.”

“That sounds about right. My gran could attest to that. She’s also stuck living with a literature obsessed fool.”

“You live with your gran?”

“Yeah. She’s a great flatmate, makes the best darn biscuits in the whole world.”

“I don’t doubt it. I can’t wait to see my own gran soon.”

“Oh yes, for Christmas! Any exciting holiday plans then?”

“Me and my sister Gwen are going home to see our dad. This year we’re spending it with mum's side of the family, which always stresses dad out a bit.”

“How come?”

Elyan hesitated telling Jenna on the first date that his mother was dead. But as he thought that, he also realised that not only was he considering the possibility of more dates with her, but there was also something so easy about talking to her. Their conversation hadn’t stopped even once.

“Mum passed away a few years back, which means dad feels a bit awkward.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that, Elyan.” Jenna put her hand over his, in a way that felt very unintentional. She hadn’t thought about her action, just done something her subconsciousness deemed comforting. Her hand was warm against his, and as she drew tiny circles on his hand with her thumb, he felt comfortable to continue. 

“Thank you. It’s not always easy, but we try.”

“Mhm. I understand. My uncle passed away when I was younger, and I remember how hard that was for my aunt.”

“I’m sorry to hear.” Now Elyan’s hand was gripping Jenna’s back. It wasn’t just a hand over another anymore. They were fully holding hands now.

“Thanks. So you said you had a sister? Tell me more about her.”

***

“Well?” Leon asked when Elyan came home. “How was it then?” 

Elyan looked happier than he had in years. His face resembled how he used to look when he was going out with Emma, which Leon wasn’t sure was a good or a bad thing quite yet. 

“She was great. I think you would approve. She’s a librarian.”

“Ooooh, I’m already sold. So are you going to see her again?”

Elyan didn’t even hesitate before he said, “No, probably not.” 

***

Gwen had terrible taste in music. Especially around the holidays when she’d insist on playing Michael Bublé the entire way home on repeat. That and Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is you”, which caused Elyan’s left eye to twitch. It was a song he could only tolerate about once, maybe twice, every Christmas, before he got sick of it and soon enough the entirety of human kind. Neither of the siblings owned their own car, but they usually ended up renting one for the holidays. He'd tried really hard to get a car without an aux, but had been unsuccessful in that mission. 

Another thing his sister was famous for was her tiny bladder, that only seemed to be so when they were travelling long distances. He’d stopped four times so she could pee and had spent too much money on mars bars. When he finally pulled onto the driveway at their house, Gwen practically threw herself out the door to pee again. Their front door was rarely locked, so he watched as Gwen threw the door open and heard a faint “HI DAD!” in the distance. 

He picked their bags out of the trunk to take inside. His dad was waiting by the door for him. “Hey dad,” He said, putting the bags down and letting his dad properly hug him. 

Tom Smith was a tall man with little to no hair left. He wasn’t even that old, but losing his wife so early in life and having to raise two children on his own had really taken a toll on him, and could be seen on his face. 

“How was the drive?” He asked. 

“As well as a drive with Gwen’s music can be.” 

“Hey! I heard that!” Gwen said, appearing at his side. She kissed their father on the cheek before giving him an enormous hug. “I’ve missed you!” She said, burying her face in his shoulder.

“Me too kiddo. The house isn’t the same without my favourite loudmouths.”

“Hey!” Elyan exclaimed. 

“Rude.” Gwen added. 

***

Arthur had borrowed a company car to drive himself, Morgana and Leon home with. It was only about a twenty minute drive, which would’ve taken over an hour by train. When they pulled up outside of Leon’s parents house he figured he’d tell them straight away what he’d done. Rip the bandage off. 

“They’re not going to disown you Leon. Your parents actually love you.” Morgana tried to reassure him, but all it did was sound depressing. 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“We’ll see each other tomorrow for brunch.” Arthur reminded him. A neighbourhood tradition on Christmas Eve that was still going strong about two decades later. “Or worse comes to shove, we’re literally just across the street.” 

“Right, well, see you guys tomorrow then. Thanks for the ride.” He got out of the backseat, which he’d been confined to when Morgana had called shotgun, even though she was much smaller than him. Unlike his friends, he only had a tiny bag of things with him, because a few days didn’t warrant two suitcases each. Honestly, Leon had no clue what was hiding in Arthur’s armani bags, he assumed about five different sets of clothes for each day. 

Leon opened the door with his key and as he entered he yelled, “I’m home.”

His mother was quick to meet him, apron already on. It took her about a week to prepare for Christmas day. He could smell her famous shortbread already. “Sweetie,” she cooed, embracing him. “Oh, how glad I am that you’re here. Maybe I’ll finally get some help around here.” She said the final part a little louder, clearly taking a jab at Leon’s dad.

“Subtle,” he said. “Where’s dad?”

“Slouching in front of the telly, as always.”

“So no big change around here then.” 

“He’s our burden. Go say hi and see if you can get him to the kitchen, pronto.”

“Yes, mam.”

***

Thank you for today. Hope to hear from you again!

He’d read the text over and over again since he’d gotten it. Jenna had been everything Kara promised and a little bit more on top of that. She was easy going and sweet. The more Elyan talked to her, the more he liked her. Giving her his number was the simplest thing he’d ever done. He’d had a wonderful date with her, but all it made him realise was that, if he could have a great date with someone without making a blubbering mess out of himself, perhaps he could talk to Percy. Even if Percy didn’t like him back, it still felt worth a shot. He didn’t want to see anyone else, because he’d completed this little journey Kara had taken him on, and in the end he felt stronger because of it. 

Only a few days earlier he’d decided to finally let Percy go and give Jenna an honest chance, which he personally thought he’d given her. Perhaps his inability to fully let Percy go was an indication that Percy was it for him. That him caring and taking note of him actually was enough . He shouldn’t have to justify his feelings. At first he’d taken his and Arthur’s conversation and used it as an excuse to move on, now it had suddenly become a reason to hold on. If Arthur could be honest, so could Elyan. He owed himself that much. 

Arthur was hosting a little New Year’s gathering at his place which Elyan knew for a fact Percy was invited to. That was the moment , he thought. That was it.

“I miss you.” Gwen said into her phone screen. 

“We’ll be together for New Year's, love.” 

“That’s like an entire week, and then some.” She whined, dramatically throwing back her head on the armrest. 

They’d only been home for about a day and Gwen was already missing Lance like crazy. She brought him up every single opportunity she had. This type of behaviour couldn’t be healthy, Elyan privately thought. They were already so attached to each other as it was, for God’s sake, they even lived together, she couldn’t possibly miss him already. But then again, he also lived with Leon, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss him just a tiny bit. However, that was different. He wasn’t whining about it over facetime. 

A faint voice yelling on the other end of the phone could be heard, and Lance informed Gwen that he had to go, but promised to call back later. The pair had decided to spend their first Christmas together as a couple separately this year, which he could tell Gwen was already regretting.

“Next year we’re doing Christmas at ours.” She said to Elyan once she’d hung up the phone. 

“How do you expect to fit everyone in your flat?”

Gwen spent a second thinking about it before screwing up her face in disappointment. “Damn it.”

“Will some hot cocoa and presents cheer you up?” Their dad asked, holding up a tray with three cups on it. Ever since they were children it had been tradition to open their presents on Christmas eve, instead of Christmas day. 

Christmas day was often spent with the entire family, while Christmas Eve lent some lovely family bonding time. They drank hot cocoa in mugs that Gwen and Elyan had painted with their mother years prior. One had a disfigured Santa on it, the other a reindeer who’s antlers were bigger than the rest of the body. There had been one with a purple candy cane long ago which Gwen dropped a few years back that had made Elyan cry.   

“Yes!” Gwen exclaimed, having seemingly forgotten to be upset. Gvenivere Smith loved gift giving, even more than she liked receiving gifts. “I’m going first!” She insisted, jumping up from the chair she’d been sprawled on and ran to the tree to fetch a tiny gold package with a tiny bow on it and a bigger one with red wrapping paper that was all shiny and smooth. “Dad this one's for you, and E, this one is yours.” She handed Elyan the red package. 

Gwen was one of those people who had a genuine gift for wrapping, and didn’t require any help from shop assistance to get them to look perfect. It felt almost criminal undoing her crafty work. 

Their dad carefully opened his package first, trying to keep the paper as intact as possible. When he got it completely open, it revealed a tiny pocket watch of gold. “Lance helped me pick it out.” He placed the watch back into the box before giving Gwen a kiss on the cheek. 

“I love it. Thank you, love.” 

“Ok, E. Your turn.” He opened his own package and was met with a white button up shirt with red roses on it. “For the New Year’s party.” She explained. Elyan hugged his sister and thanked her for the shirt. He wasn’t sure if he’d actually dare to wear it, however, the thought was really sweet.

Elyan had bought Gwen her standard fragrance of perfume and his father some new shirt buttons. Their dad had made a donation in their name to charity, as well as given them their own tea sets. There was also some money in an envelope for them both, which wasn’t unusual since they’d moved away from home. However, the amount was a bit more than usual. 

“Dad, this is too much.” Gwen tried to argue.

Their father lifted his hand to silence her, which had the desired effect. “There’s something important I need to tell you guys.” Where previously a smile had faced them, a now serious expression was greeting them instead. The type of expression that only appeared on their dad’s face when he had something serious to tell them. Things like, it’s not looking good and mum is in a better place now.

“What’s wrong dad?” Elyan hardly dared to ask. Except he needed to know, or he felt like he might go berserk. His leg bounced up and down, without any indication of stop. A slight trickle of sweat could be felt forming on his forehead. 

“There’s no easy way to say this and I don’t want it to ruin Christmas.” Here it comes , Elyan thought. “However, I can’t go the entire Holiday without telling you. Your nan and aunties already know, which means there’s only you two left to tell.” He took a pause, taking the longest breath Elyan had ever heard. Contrary to that, Elyan felt his own breathing stop. “I couldn’t do it over the phone, but there’s no more reasons not to do it anymore.” 

“Dad, you’re scaring me.” Gwen said. Elyan noted how Gwen was sinking in her teeth into her bottom lip. His sister had also recognised the expression for what it was. 

“I have some heart problems.” He finally said. “I’ve got medicine, aunty Rose makes sure I follow my diet, and Robert from work and I have started exercising together at the gym.”

Elyan was waiting for the part where his father told him that he would pass. That it would get worse and worse until one day he would be gone. Except that part never came. He just sat there staring at them expectantly, waiting for them to say something. Elyan was sure Gwen would have a million questions, but perhaps she was as stunned as he was, because neither of them said a word.

“I’m really sorry I haven’t told you guys this earlier, but I wanted to make sure there would be some good news with all the bad. Besides, I didn’t want to worry you. Gwen love, you need to focus on school, I love you dear, but I couldn’t let you do what you always do and uproot your life for me. And Elyan, your work is important. You seem really happy with it, I can’t stifle such an opportunity.” 

Finally Gwen seemed to come out of her initial surprise at the news. Because she cleared her throat slightly to get their dad to stop talking. “That really wasn’t up to you.” Elyan wasn’t used to seeing Gwen angry, however now she looked like she could snap a pencil in half. “We’re both adults now, dad. I understand that you have our best interest at heart, but what if it ended up getting really bad, what then huh? Would you just let us find out after you were gone?”

“Gwen!” Elyan scolded. This really wasn’t like her, she was the responsible one. The compassionate one who knew how to handle situations like these. 

“I’m serious!” She looked even more furious at having been interrupted, her eyes shiny, trying really hard to hold back her tears. “When mum got sick you constantly lied to us about how bad it was, and justified it by saying we were too young to understand. What’s your excuse now?” 

“Guinevere-” Their dad tried, but Gwen was not having it.

“Save it.” She said, softly. Storming out of the living room. 

***

“How did it go yesterday?” Morgana asked. The traditional Christmas Eve brunch was always organised on the Pendragon lot, since it was the biggest house in the area. The garden which had a bigger radius than some of the houses down the street had tables set up with white table cloths and poinsettia bouquets placed on top. The food had been prepared by the Pendragon kitchen staff, who always had it busier than ever around the holidays in preparing two big meals that would happen over the course of two days right next to each other. The garden had been set up by the other countless people employed by the estate, who every year followed the exact same protocol to the tee.  

“I couldn’t tell them.” He confessed, putting some more bacon on his plate. There was no point in lying to Morgana.

“Good job idiot, what now?” She asked. If Morgana wasn’t holding a kitchen tong in her hand he was sure she’d hit him over the head like she normally would. 

“What did he do now?” Arthur asked, appearing at Leon’s left side with his own plate. It was real life china, which Leon was always scared he would drop. Only the children ate with plastic cutlery and plates, which had only been allowed a few years back when one of the younger neighbourhood children had broken one too many plates while eating. When they themselves were tiny beings, they’d been forced to be on their best behaviour and not break the fancy china, which cost more than some of their salaries. Leon remembered that talk. 

“I didn’t tell my parents about my job.” Leon turned, scanning around for a free table. His parents were in full conversation with the Morgans down the street, his mother animatedly talking about something using her hands to gesticulate. 

Owaine, an old schoolmate of theirs, took notice of him and enthusiastically waved him over. Leon couldn’t pretend he hadn’t noticed since their eyes were locked in. He sighed, and slowly made his way over, sliding in next to another old mate of theirs, Kay. 

“Leon! Long time no see, what’s up man?” Owanie asked, excitedly. Leon didn’t really see his schoolmates much anymore, except for every Christmas when everyone came home for the holidays. It was like the worst school reunion ever that happened every year instead of every few years like for the rest of the world. Most of the people they went to school with had inherited a small fortune from their parents and had taken a gap year to travel around Europe where they could do extremely dickish things before returning home to a secure spot at their family business. Leon had taken another route in life.

“Still a teacher, then?” Owaine asked sympathetically. For someone who didn’t have a degree, that was certainly rich, he thought. 

“Yeah.” He lied, not really feeling like getting into it. Especially not when his parents didn’t know yet. Telling the old mates was a guarantee that everyone else would soon find out as well. 

“ARTHUR!” Owaine yelled suddenly, “GET OVER HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!” The table next to them glared disapprovingly at him. Arthur, who'd just finished taking his food, gave a little nod to show that he was coming. He didn’t look too pleased with having been yelled at, but Leon knew he’d never cause a scene in public, especially not with his father present. He usually wasn’t required to sit with his father during these types of gatherings, since Uther preferred Arthur to network. What sort of connections Arthur was making with his old school chums, Leon had no idea. 

“Owaine, I see you haven’t changed.” He remarked. He took a spare chair from a table nearby that wasn’t occupied and sat down by the short side of the table. 

“I could say the same to you,” Owaine snickered. “Still got a rod up your arse then.” Everyone around the table except for Leon laughed. Arthur gritted his teeth disapprovingly but held his tongue.

“How’s your father?” He asked instead, looking satisfied when Owaine awkwardly shifted in his seat. Owaine’s father had recently been involved with a series of scandals that had been plastered all over the gossip pages. His secured place in British politics had been wavering as of late. Leon had to give it to Arthur, the guy knew his way around this sort of crowd. It was a somber reminder to the rest of them to not fuck with him. 

“He’s fine.” Owaine poked around on his plate with his fork, avoiding Arthur’s eyes. 

“I haven’t seen him around. Shame what happened to him. Send him my best wishes, yeah?” The rest of the table looked on in silence, no one quite daring to breathe. However, when Arthur took a sip of his water, and said, “I’m just fucking with you.” The collective breath the rest of them had been holding let out, and some awkward humourless chuckles could be heard around the table. The energy had turned stiff and not at all what you’d expect from old school chums. 

“So Arthur, whatever happened to that bird you were seeing? What was her name? Linda?” Kay asked, trying to shift the conversation somewhere else and trying to lighten the tense atmosphere they found themselves in.

“We broke up.” He answered simply. Leon could hardly remember Linda, just that he didn’t particularly like her. It felt strange to remember a time when Arthur hadn’t been with Merlin, it just seemed like the most natural thing now. As if no one else had existed before that. “I’m with someone else now.” Arthur’s sexuality wasn’t exactly something that he talked about with just anyone, so Leon didn't expect anything to come of this interaction, especially not for Arthur to say: “ His name is Merlin.” 

If Leon had thought the silence was deafening before, it was about to be a lot worse. Arthur had single handedly killed the mood of their table.  

***

Elyan knocked lightly on Gwen’s door, putting his ear up to the side so he could hear her answer more clearly. All he got in return was, “Go away.” Which wasn’t exactly the answer he was hoping for. 

“Gwen, it’s E. I’m coming in.” Elyan opened the door before Gwen had the opportunity to reply and slid inside. Gwen’s room hadn’t changed much over the years. There was still a Boyz II Men poster on her wall that had been there since she’d found it in a magazine when she was eight, and the flowery tapestry, (Elyan had gotten one with Teddys), in which she and their mum had chosen together when Gwen was small was still fighting for its life, only slightly ruined by old tape pieces left over from all the other things that used to hang there. 

Gwen was lying on her bed, head hurried in a pillow. She didn’t look up when Elyan came in, just sniffled in a very obvious manner. He sat down next to her and placed a gentle hand on her back, rubbing comforting circles. 

“Go away.” She said again, the sound slightly muffled by the pillow. 

“What you did out there wasn’t cool.” He started. 

At this Gwen snapped her head up in such a swift motion that Elyan’s hand flew right off her back. “Lying to us wasn’t either!” She snapped.

“Well… no.” Was all he could say. Perhaps what their dad had done wasn’t very cool of him. Maybe Gwen who’d spent her whole life caring about his well being suddenly being told that it wasn’t actually necessary for her to do so, was allowed to be a bit upset. “That doesn’t excuse your little outburst, though.” He was really grasping at straws here. 

“Spare me,” Gwen rolled her eyes, placing her head back into her pillow. “Was that all?”

Elyan stood from the bed. “Talk to dad.” He said, simply. There was no point in sticking around, those words were his main goal with this visit anyways. He knew she’d cool down eventually, he’d done his part now. 

***

Home Alone was playing on the telly. His mother had made popcorn and his father had brought out the eggnog. It was one of those films that his mother always insisted they watch when it was playing on tv, as if missing Home Alone was a criminal offence around the holidays. 

Leon wasn’t paying attention to the film, because he had a greater matter to attend to. His dad was slowly snoozing off to sleep, his mother nursing a mug carefully in her hand as she blew some cold air on it before taking a sip. 

He watched Kevin McCallister scare away the bad guys with some borderline abusive stuff and decided that it was time to scare away his own metaphorical bad guys and just get it over with. 

“Mum?” He whispered, trying not to wake his dad who had fully fallen asleep now. Snoring loudly in his most favourite armchair. 

“Yes, darling?” Her eyes were still glued onto the screen, not even wavering as she leaned forward to grab some popcorn from the table.

“I quit my job.”

“Why did you do that, love?” There was no anger in her tone, just a genuine curiosity. Her eyes were still not meeting him. He still let out a sigh of relief he didn’t even know he was holding in, because at least she wasn’t yelling at him, which is what he’d feared the most.

“They were heading in a direction that I didn’t agree with. I know it was a very impulsive decision, and perhaps I shouldn’t have quit before I had a proper plan, but… I don’t regret it. It was the right move to make.” He finished.

“Alright then. Seems like that’s that then. Thank you for telling me.” She squeezed his arm lightly, finally looking at him now with an unintelligible expression, before standing from the sofa. “I’m going to go to bed. Sleep tight dear.” And so the conversation was finished. Leon couldn’t quite help feeling like he’d gotten away with this way too easily. Something wasn’t right. This was not the last time he was going to have this conversation over the Holiday’s, he could tell.  

***

The drive to Nana Dorothy’s house felt like an eternity long, even though in actuality it was only about a ten minute drive. All the tension between Gwen and their dad had yet to be resolved, which meant Elyan was stuck in the middle, forced to keep the conversation flowing, something that was usually Gwen’s job, which she did way better than him anyways. 

He’d heard Gwen’s whispers through the wall into the late hours of the night. Not quite able to make out what she was saying. Elyan assumed it involved relaying to Lance what had been going on in the Smith household. He really hoped Lance had talked some sense into her, if there was anyone he could count on to do so, it was him. 

His father drove onto the driveway where four other cars already occupied most of the space. Elyan recognised one as Auntie Eleanore’s, an old green thing that she always nagged Uncle Frank to get rid of. Seemed like Uncle Frank had won out for yet another year. There was also his grandmother's old honda civic which brought back a lot of old road trips they’d taken during their youth with their Nana. Usually to the beach, where Gwen would need to pee every few stops and Elyan got car sick. 

“Before we get out, I feel like it is high time we clear the air a bit. Gwen, love, I know that you are mad at me, and with every right to be so. However, I’d prefer not to bring a nasty temper when visiting your grandmother. Can we agree to play nice for today? For your poor Nanas sake?” 

Gwen, who’d mostly spent the car ride staring blankly out the window finally met her fathers eyes. “Fine.” She quickly got out of the car, before he could say anything else.

“She needs time dad.” Elyan tried to reassure him. 

“Yeah.” His father didn’t look convinced. For the first time in years Elyan saw something in him that he hadn’t seen for a while. He saw fear. 

***

Leon had been called into his fathers study, which was the worst place to be called to during Christmas, or any day for that matter. He only ever got called in there when he was in trouble. He remembered a particular lecture at the age of eleven after he and some of the neighbourhood children had been involved in ruining old Mrs. Wilson’s window with a football. Leon had not been allowed out for an entire week after that. Arthur couldn’t go out for almost a month, and he was forbidden from spending time with nearly everyone on that exhibition. Uther had always been neutral to Leon’s presence, but that moment had surely soured their relationship. 

“You wanted to see me.” He felt like a kid again, standing by the door, being called in for a lecture over something naughty he’d done. Except Leon didn’t feel the same guilt he’d felt before. This time he hadn’t actually done something bad. Not in his own eyes at least. 

“Yes, sit down, son. We need to have a talk.” Leon took the chair opposite of him, which was increasingly tinier than the one his father was sitting on, which Leon imagined was a great scare tactic when attempting to appear bigger and more frightening than he actually was while doing business with others. 

“Your mother has informed me that you have recently handed in your notice and done so without a plan. Is that information correct?” There it was. Just as Leon had suspected, his mothers calm response had been a ruse. She’d just waited to tell his father so that he could be the bad guy instead of her. Classic mum , he thought. 

“Yes, sir.” He said with as much confidence as he could. He refused to waver. It’s not like he’d done something bad. 

“I was afraid so. What the hell were you thinking!” He practically yelled the last part. Leon was really hoping no one could hear him. His aunt and her family had come over to celebrate Christmas with them and they really didn’t need to hear any of this. “You ask to be financially independent, turning away from your inheritance, and we support you. I’ve never been more proud than at that moment. But this, what do you think this shows me except what a massive mistake it was to trust you?”

“I’m really sorry you feel that way dad. But it’s my life, and you’re right. I did decide to be financially independent, so I certainly don’t understand why you think you have any say whatsoever in this. I’m an adult who made an adult decision with my own future, like it or not that is how it is. I could’ve not told you anything, but you’re my parents and I love you. I want you to know things about me. But that means accepting the parts about me that you might not like as well.”

“Do you get how embarrassing it is to try and explain why you’ve never brought anyone home? Your grandmother thinks you’re gay, you know?”

“Oh, and that would be the worst thing, would it?” This had escalated way more than Leon  first anticipated. 

“That is not what I said!”

Leon swiftly stood from his tiny chair, gaining some ground over his dad. He was still the taller one. “Yes, you did.” Leon was not a child anymore, he did not have to take any of this anymore. He turned around and left the study rejoining the other’s in the living room. His mother gave him a questioning look, but he ignored her. 

Instead he turned his attention to his younger cousin Timothee who had gotten a new Nintendo console for Christmas. He let him talk about Super Mario while pointedly ignoring his father who rejoined the group a while later with a neutral expression that gave nothing away. 

***

It was almost impossible to tell that Gwen was mad at their father. As soon as they’d gotten through the door it had been good vibes only and hugs for all that wanted them. She could be a remarkably good actor when she wanted to be. Perhaps she wasn’t even pretending, maybe she was just that happy to see everyone. Elyan certainly was. It had been far too long, since they usually spent the holidays with Aunt Rose and her family. 

Aunt Eleanore had gushed over how big they’d gotten, their cousin Simon who was a few years older than Elyan had finally passed his bar exam. Nana had made her famous roast for dinner, Uncle George had made his usual shitty dad jokes. It had been a pleasant time all around, making Elyan forget all his troubles. 

Sometime in the afternoon when everyone was stuffed from all the food, watching a Christmas film that ran on the telly, Elyan got a text from Jenna. 

Merry Christmas!

His entire face lit up. Although he’d chosen Percy, he still had really liked Jenna and would love to maybe be friends with her. She would make the perfect addition to their little group, Leon would love her, so would Gwen for that matter. Even Arthur would be charmed by her, which wasn’t always easy. 

He wished her a Merry Christmas back.

***

Suffice to say the rest of his time at home had been an utter disaster. Leon had hardly talked to his dad for days, his mother had treaded around him carefully and the pair had spoken to each other in code. When Arthur finally picked him up on the twenty seventh to go back home, Leon could finally breathe again.

“Did you tell them then?” Morgana asked from the front seat. 

“Yep.”

“I suppose it didn’t go so well then.

“Nope.”  

***

On boxing day Gwen finally talked it out with their dad. Elyan hadn’t been a part of the conversation, but he had caught a glimpse of Gwen crying in their dad's arms, and he’d figured all was well with the world again.

***

Leon always forgot how huge Arthur’s flat was. It was twice as big as his and Elyan’s and they were two people sharing. With three bedrooms, two bathrooms and the most beautiful view over the city, it really was the perfect place to ring in the new year.

Both he and Elyan had seemingly had stressful Christmases filled with family drama that both were happy to escape. They’d exchanged gifts once they returned. Leon had given Elyan some newly knitted gloves in a dark green colour which he’d made a few weeks back, then added in a scarf he’d made in stress after quitting his job, while Elyan had bought him a new planner for the new year. A planner that was currently very empty, because Leon had no idea what the next year would bring for him.

***

It had been far too long since Elyan last met Percy. Ever since he’d decided to be honest with him, through some new found confidence after his five dates and very important conversation with Arthur, he had been counting down the days to New Years Eve. He was determined that the new year was going to be a great year for him, done so on his own terms. 

The entire drive home from their dads had been spent in amiable silence. Gwen hadn’t wanted to discuss her and their dad's talk, which Elyan, despite being extremely curious about, also respected. She also hadn’t played any of her Christmas music, not even plugged in her phone at all, which Elyan never thought he’d actually miss, (which he’d obviously never admit to having done). Instead they had listened to the radio, who also only played Christmas music, except much worse than what Gwen would’ve come up with. He didn’t even know such a thing was possible. 

He’d dropped Gwen off at her flat before going to return the rental and she hadn’t been by the apartment since, he figured she was too busy catching up with Lance. Ever since they’d been home Gwen hadn’t left her boyfriend's side even once, as far as Elyan was aware. She was practically sitting in his lap on Arthur’s leather sofa that didn’t look half as comfortable as their own. Perhaps that was why Arthur always crashed on theirs.

Tonight however, he didn’t care. Not about Arthur crashing on their couch, or Gwen spending too much time with her boyfriend. No, he did not pay it any mind, because he only had one goal in mind, which was to be honest about his feelings with Percy. He was one of the only ones who hadn’t arrived yet. Merlin practically lived at Arthur’s place. Morgana had been there when they arrived with Freya, whom Elyan hadn’t had the opportunity to meet before, but who lived up to her reputation of basically just being a female version of Merlin.

Lance and Gwen had arrived a few moments after them and were already extremely comfortable. Apparently Lance spent a lot more time at Arthur’s place then any of them knew, the pair getting along swimmingly. Over the months where they’d incorporated new people into their group, Leon and Elyan’s flat had become less of a hang out spot than it once had been, apparently leading the way for Arthur and Lance to become great buddies.

Lance explained that he’d come over every now and then to play chess with Arthur, or listen to some new record that Arthur had purchased or taste some new bourbon Arthur had been sent by his father. Which just sounded like they were a couple of old men. They didn’t act like they got together and did any of this, but both parties were rather private people, so maybe this shouldn’t be surprising. 

That only left Percy and Gwaine, who Elyan was certain would show up together. They were best friends after all, it just made the most sense. However, when Gwaine did arrive later on, all by himself, Elyan started to get worried. Was Percy not coming?

***

Leon was on his fifth drink and it was only eight pm. 

***

Eventually he’d have to stop checking the time. He was looking at Arthur’s clock on the wall every few seconds, in such a noticeable way that Arthur eventually took notice. He’d turned the kitchen counter into a little bar where he was making a gin and tonic for Gwen. Elyan had gravitated to the kitchen, because that’s what seemed to always happen during parties, since that’s where most of them had ended up. Gwen and Merlin were chatting away with Morgana by the stove. The only ones not in the kitchen were Lance and Leon, who were on the couch. Even Freya found herself in conversation with Gwaine. All of this was very common. Staring at the wall unblinking however, was not.

“You good?” Arthur stirred the drink a bit before setting it to the side, picking up another glass. Gwen grabbed the drink automatically before turning back to the conversation. 

Ever since their little talk, Elyan was starting to feel more comfortable in Arthur’s presence. Turns out having a very stripped down conversation about their feelings could do that. Who would’ve thought? 

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just…”

“Waiting for him to arrive?”

“Yeah.”

“I should probably tell you this… He… uh… asked if he could bring someone along. I don’t know who it is, or if they’re you know… Just thought you should know.” 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Thanks man.” He was glad he knew , he thought. Right?

“Want me to fix you something?”

“Yes, please.” He answered way too quickly. 

***

Drink number eight.

***

When Mordred and Kara stepped through the door, Elyan exhaled in relief. It was only Mordred and Kara. God was he happy to see them. Those were the people Percy had asked to bring along. He was so happy he could cry.

Elyan’s heart dropped when he saw Percy walk in after them with someone else on his arm. 

***

“This is Brian.” Percy introduced. “He’s my…”

“Boyfriend.” Brian finished with a huge smile. 

Leon just stared. Blinked. Percy said something else, Brian talked, talked, talked. Leon could not hear. He had no idea what was happening. 

***

“Gwen said I could probably find you in here.” Elyan got a sense of serious deja vu. He’d hid in one of Arthur’s unused bedrooms with one of the biggest windows to ever exist, which left nothing to the imagination. Freya and Morgana would stay in this room. Lance and Gwen got the other bedroom and he and Leon were living room bound. Not everyone was staying the night, not Kara or Mordred, nor Percy and his date as far as he knew, but Elyan didn’t fancy trying to find his way home during New Years. Both him and Leon had agreed sleeping on Arthur’s floor would be the superior option. 

Percy, who’d been the only person Elyan had wanted to see a few hours ago had quickly turned into the one person he wanted to avoid like the fucking plauge. Him and his totally gorgeous boyfriend Brian who was everything Elyan was not. For starters really fit, as well as charming, at least judging from the way Gwen and Morgana tittred at every word that he said. Elyan just had to get away from it all.

“Sorry for just springing Brian on you all like that, I just…” 

“Why are you here Percy?” Perhaps Arthur’s cocktails had gotten to his head a bit and granted him some courage, because his words were a lot braver and to the point than they normally would’ve been. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He said, awkwardly fiddling with his fingers. “I haven’t seen you for a while, I’ve missed having you around. It’s a lot less fun at the pub without you there.” 

“Don’t do that. Don’t-”

“Brian and I… we go way back.” He started. “He’s the first boy who ever owned my heart.” How the hell was Elyan supposed to compete with that? “We reconnected over the holidays and we owed it to each other to give it another chance. At first I wasn’t sure that was the best idea, because…” Percy cut himself off as if catching himself before saying something he shouldn’t.

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

Percy treaded carefully. “Because I need to know that we’ll be alright after this. That we’ll still… that nothing will change. I don’t want anything to change.”

“Don’t you get it!” He snapped suddenly. “It already has.”  

Elyan turned to look out the window again and tried his best not to throw up from stress. This was not like him at all. Like him and Percy at all. Yet, it felt like the most honest conversation between the two that had ever taken place. For the first time he felt like he understood what the others had meant. Because maybe he hadn’t been insane, perhaps Percy had actually felt it too. When the others tried to assure him, he’d ignored their pleading to see some sense. Now though, it was all becoming so clear. 

Percy came closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He could hear the heavy breathing from the other. He didn’t turn around. He could see fireworks being lit in the distance that were probably shot up now so that kids could experience them before going to bed early. Red, green, blue. Elyan focused on the colours, trying to ignore the way Percy’s hand burned against his skin.

They stood there for what felt like an eternity, looking at the fireworks fizzle out. Eventually Elyan thought the best idea was to just get the hell out of there, but in his attempt to leave he came face to face with the other man. For a split second their eyes met and in that second Elyan got brave. In that second was everything that ever was between them and if Elyan had leaned over to brush his lips against Percy, he was certain the other would let him. Percy could tell Brian it wasn’t going to work out, that there was a reason it all ended in the first place. Elyan could forget about all the others, because now there was only one. In that second was everything and he knew Percy felt it too, because the other man was slowly leaning in. Perhaps Percy was the one who’d kiss him, not the other way around. Would Elyan let him?

This was the moment that could change everything, yet it was the same moment Elyan didn’t take. If Percy kissed him, would he let him? Apparently not. “Goodbye Percy.” He said instead, exiting the room. It was a very melodramatic goodbye. Especially since they still had an entire evening left to spend together. However, Elyan made sure to stay as far away from him as possible for the remainder of the night. 

When the clock struck midnight and the happy couples gave each other midnight kisses, Elyan pointedly looked at everything except Brian and Percy. He saw Morgana joyfully pull Freya in. Saw Arthur look relaxed for once. Watched as Mordred pulled a strand away from Kara’s face. Elyan was even the unfortunate recipient of a kiss on the cheek from Gwaine who also placed a sloppy kiss on Leon’s cheek, who in return, ruffled his hair. 

“Happy new year!” Leon whopped. Earning cheers from the others. 

 He let Gwen and Lance finish their lip locking before hugging his sister very tightly. 

“Happy new year.” He whispered to her. 

“I’m really sorry I’ve been such a twat lately.” Gwen said, happy tears in her eyes. “Forgive me?”

“Always. Besides, I’ve so much to tell you.”

“We’ve only been apart for like three days.” She laughed. Elyan just shrugged his shoulders and hugged his sister again.

***

Leon woke up on Arthur’s floor feeling sick. After throwing up twice before going to bed in the early hours of the morning, then once more for good measure after waking up, completely destroying Arthur’s guest bathroom, he made a New Year’s resolution to never drink again.

***

When Elyan woke up the next morning on Arthur’s sofa (which was as uncomfortable as he’d initially thought), he decided to text Jenna. He’d tried to move on from Percy before, then changed his mind just as quickly. This time however, he was officially done. The perfect opportunity had presented itself and Elyan had walked away. There was no way they were coming back from it now. Elyan, however unconsciously and drunkenly stupid it felt, had made his choice, and he intended to honour it.   

Any chance you’d like to get some hangover cure coffee with me?

End of part 1

Chapter Text

January 

There was only one coffee shop open on the first of January and Elyan couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty when he entered it. Apparently no one else had felt that way because the place was packed from wall to wall with patrons looking for their own hangover remedies. 

A baby was screaming as an exhausted mother tried to get them to stop crying. Someone had fallen asleep on top of a table where another person had thought it funny to draw genitals on their face. Clearly understaffed, a tired barista called out an order for a “Ramson” who grumpily corrected that it was actually “Samson, not Ramson”, which started a heated debate that another employee had to defuse. 

Elyan looked away, focusing his attention on finding who he was actually there to see. It didn’t take long to spot her. Jenna had already arrived, two coffees and a table ready far away from the sleeping customer and the fist fight about to break loose by the cashier. She looked a lot better than Elyan felt, sporting a big smile on her face as she slid his cup over to him as soon as he’d sat down. 

“Hiya.” She cheered. 

“Hi.” He gratefully accepted the cup, grabbing one of the sugar packs Jenna had put on the table, ripping it open to pour into his beverage. He tried stirring it by clumsily moving the cup around, but Jenna just laughed and held out a stirrer.

“Try this.” She said, an amused smile playing on her face. “Tired then?” 

“Yeah.” Elyan said without hesitance. He’d only been up for about an hour, trying to sneak out of Arthur’s flat without waking a sleeping Leon and Gwaine who’d gotten tangled up on the floor. The task was a lot harder than he’d first anticipated since Arthur’s floor decided to squeak with every movement. Gwaine had locked Leon in an embrace, blocking half the surface as well, forcing Elyan to parkour his way around his sleeping friends. 

“How was your New Year's eve?” He asked, turning his mind back to the present.

Jenna rubbed some sleep out of her eyes before replying: “Long.” She stretched her hands over her head. “My cousin insisted we sing karaoke, which meant a lot of Let it go because of my niece. After the tenth time it started to get a little redundant.” A small smile formed on her face as she talked, showing that she wasn’t actually all that bothered by the whole thing. “I’m pretty sure that’s the song they play at the gates of hell.” 

Over the holidays when visiting his grandmother, his younger relatives had watched Beauty and the Beast on repeat. After the third time in a row of hearing Be our guest, Elyan’s left eye had started to twitch, so he understood the feeling. 

“How about you, any crazy New Year’s plans?” 

There were a lot of things about the previous night that had felt a bit insane, but he felt he couldn’t tell her about them. At least not yet. Not about Percy or his feelings for him, because he didn’t want Jenna to feel like a rebound, when she was actually just a new beginning, which probably didn’t sound great when said out loud. He didn’t think the amount of alcohol the group had consumed painted any of them in a particularly great light either, despite it being the most honest depiction of them, considering they spent their Friday evenings at the pub. He decided a clean version of events would do. 

“Spent it with close friends and my sister.” Which technically wasn’t a lie. 

“That seems harmless enough.” She took a sip from her cup, Elyan unintentionally mirroring her while internally letting out a sigh of relief that he hadn’t been caught out on some lie even though he technically hadn’t lied once. 

“I have the worst hangover.” She said, rubbing circles with the tip of her fingers on the side of her head. 

“Yeah.” Elyan agreed. “New Year’s should probably be illegal.”

“Probably.” Jenna agreed and took another sip of her coffee. 

***

His eyes were glued shut. Every time he opened them it hurt, as if he was ripping a bandaid off over and over again. His head was pounding and there was this heavy feeling around him that made it feel like he had chains tied to his body. When Leon tried to stretch out his arms, a loud groan escaped his mouth and a presence next to him followed suit. 

“G’morning.” Someone said in his ear. His brain couldn’t place whose voice it was, but when he tried to open his eyes again they still didn't want to stay open. He saw long brown hair and flashes of a grin. 

“I’m going to be sick.” He said, rushing off to the bathroom to throw up. It was truly the worst way to start off the new year. 

***

February

“As you can see I am more than qualified for this position. I am a hard worker, I care about my students and I really burn for the art of teaching.” Leon tried really hard to butter up the man in front of him. Principal Harris looked like the type of guy that would cheat on his wife with her best friend. However, he was the thing standing between Leon and a job, which meant he intended to suck up to him as if his life depended on it, which it nearly did since Leon’s savings weren’t going to last forever.

Harris' expression gave nothing away as he once again looked over Leon’s resume. He shifted his gaze to study Leon again and when their eyes finally met Leon knew he was screwed. 

***

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, she’s going to adore you!” Elyan tried to assure. He was a hundred percent sincere when he said it. Gwen would most definitely love Jenna, there was no doubt in his mind about that. However, his feeble attempts at reassuring her of this could not convince her to sway her mind. Jenna was certain Gwen was going to eat her whole. He held back from pointing out that Morgana was more likely to. He didn’t think that would go over very well.  

Elyan hadn’t introduced Jenna to the rest of the gang yet because he didn’t want to do so until things started to get a bit more serious. It had been a little over a month now and Gwen, who had been pestering him since day one to meet Jenna, had decided that enough was enough. This whole secrecy thing had to come to an end. It was as exciting as it was terrifying and it was hitting Elyan that things were about to get serious for real.

The last person he’d introduced Gwen to that he was dating was Emma. They’d been officially going out for a couple of weeks, Emma already intertwined with the rest of his uni mates. It was only natural that Gwen would be introduced. Gwen had come up to visit and had immediately taken a liking to her. Later on after things had ended between them, Elyan had questioned Gwen’s judgement. However, after a lot of reflecting he’d accepted that there wasn’t anything wrong with her judgement. Emma was incredible, Gwen was right about that. If she didn’t like Jenna then he’d be seriously worried. 

Every day he fell a little more and more for her. The way she snorted when she laughed too hard. How she unintentionally moved her lips while reading. The fact that her smile seemed to be one of the most comforting things in the world. There wasn’t a single thing about her that he could see Gwen be opposed to and maybe that was the problem. What if she was too perfect? Elyan shook that thought away. Not today, brain. 

He knocked firmly on the door, hearing shuffling from inside. Jenna gripped his hand and he squeezed back, trying to reassure her that there was nothing to be worried about. However, when the door swung open and Morgana greeted them with a cheery smile, Elyan knew he’d been set up. 

***

Leon wasn’t going to go to Gwen’s and Lance’s. He was going to stay home and finish the scotch bottle that he’d saved for a special occasion. Supposed unemployment could be considered that. He didn’t have a lot of resources left and he’d rather die than ask his parents for help. Quitting in the middle of a school year without a secure position really didn’t fare well and he wasn’t exactly sent away with excellent references. 

He took another sip. Then another and one more for good measure. 

What the hell was he going to do?

***

“The flowers are lovely!” Gwen mused over the bouquet that Jenna had brought. Elyan quickly pulled his sister toward the kitchen, leaving Jenna to deal with Morgana, throwing her an apologetic look in the process. He really hoped Lance would swoop in if things got out of hand. 

“What the hell?” He whisper-yelled. “This was supposed to be a quiet dinner with only you and Lance, not a group gathering.”

Gwen tutted at him. “Honestly,” She pulled out a vase from one of the cupboards and opened the sink to let the water rinse. “I’m doing you a favour. At your rate it would probably take a year before anyone would get to meet her. It felt easier this way. If you’re introducing her to me, that means it’s getting serious. And if it’s getting serious she needs to get used to being around the entire group. Now stop complaining and help set the table.” Gwen was arranging the bouquet in the vase, making sure that every flower was placed perfectly. 

Elyan didn’t feel like arguing. Perhaps Gwen was right, and at least she’d had enough tact not to invite Percy. Still, Morgana, Arthur, Merlin, Freya, Lance, Gwen AND Gwaine in one evening… Jenna was in for a treat. 

***

Hope you’re ok! 

The words were blurry, he didn't remember opening his phone. It was from Elyan. Leon thought it was sweet that he cared. He was also really annoyed, because he certainly didn’t deserve that care. He threw his phone across the room in frustration. 

***

The dinner had gone as well as he could’ve hoped. Arthur had spilled some wine on Merlin’s shirt and tried to wipe it away with his bare hands. Morgana kept prodding Jenna with questions, all of which she answered with ease. Suppose being friends with Kara had prepared her for it. Lance had cooked an incredible meal, Gwaine had only made two inappropriate jokes and Gwen had only looked like she was fake smiling once. 

All in all, it could have definitely gone worse. Elyan would say Jenna’s introduction to the group had been successful. 

***

He’d been retching in the bathroom for nearly ten minutes. His head was pounding and he really hoped Elyan wouldn't find him in this state.

***

“Are you sure you want to leave alone? I could come with you!”

Jenna smiled and placed an affectionate hand on his cheek. “I’ll be alright. Stay with your friends. Besides,” She lowered her voice at this part, “I’m sure they’re just bursting at the seems to tell you how they really feel about me.” She said it lightly, but judging by her nerves before they’d arrived, he was sure Jenna was serious and was probably dying to know what was being said about her. 

“Can I at least follow you down to the curb.”

She pretended to sound exasperated as she said, “I suppose.” Before breaking into a smile. 

He kissed her cheek before she got into the cab and when he came back he immediately said: “Well, out with it.” No one said anything. That was a first. He couldn’t tell if this was a good or a bad thing. Probably bad, right? 

“She’s cute!” Gwen finally said, taking a long sip of her wine. 

Elyan waited for his sister to continue but when she didn’t he frowned. “That’s it?” 

Gwen shrugged her shoulders and Elyan knew that it was final. 

Well then.

***

March

“I think I have bad news for you?”

“What?” Elyan asked. 

“I think we’ve officially become official. Guess you’re stuck with me.”

“Actually, you’re stuck with me.” He answered.

“Oh yeah?” She said and before Elyan could reply her lips were on his. It wasn’t a very long kiss, because Jenna broke away to whisper: “I like being stuck with you.” Elyan was so damn in love with this woman he could actually burst. 

***

“A loan?” Arthur asked, rubbing his chin as if deep in thought.

“It would only be to cover this month's rent. I’ve got a job interview tomorrow that I’m fairly confident about!” Arthur still looked a bit sceptical, but since Leon had been planning this, he’d anticipated every possible outcome and was ready to bring out the big guns. “You’ve known me all our lives. Would I ever ask for something if I wasn’t desperate?”

After a moment of silence Arthur finally replied: “No, no of course you wouldn’t. How much did you need?”

Arthur wrote him a check to cover two months worth of rent and as Leon left his apartment he started to feel guilty. He’d told Arthur rent was tight, which it was, but he’d failed to mention that the job interview he was so confident about had already happened yesterday and gone to shit. Leon knew that most of the money he’d borrowed wouldn’t go to rent but to alcohol. 

He entered a tiny pub a few blocks away from where they lived to avoid running into someone they knew. He’d been there every single day of the past week, all the regulars knew his name now and he knew theirs. He ordered their cheapest scotch and told the barkeep to leave the bottle. It was going to be a long night. 

***

Elyan had tried to put off a trip to the pub for as long as possible. The gang, apart from Percy, had all met Jenna and they kept insisting she came along. Despite their clear attempt at getting to know her better, Elyan didn’t want to face Percy again and he definitely didn’t want to bring Jenna into the mix of that whole mess.

He still hadn’t told her about him, because there wasn’t really anything to tell. Nothing had happened, not really. Besides, he liked keeping his relationship with Jenna and his feelings for Percy separate. It was just easier that way. 

When they arrived, Morgana practically shrieked in excitement. “Elyan has returned from his time away at war!”

Gwen visibly rolled her eyes at that, adjusting herself in Lance’s lap.

He pulled some chairs from a nearby table and held the chair out to Jenna, which caused an audible “oooooh” from the group. 

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“See, I told you guys!” Leon exclaimed loudly, “I told you he’d show up! Pay up fuckers!” Arthur reluctantly slid a twenty pound note across the table. “Jenna, always lovely to see you. Drinks? It’s on me… well, Arthur, but who cares!” 

The night was still young, but Leon already seemed pretty gone. He pulled Jenna with him to the bar, nearly falling over in the process.

“She seems nice.” A voice he didn’t recognise, said. Looking up he finally took in who else was at the table and noticed the two people he’d been dreading to meet.

Percy had a protective arm around Brian, avoiding direct eye contact with Elyan. Gone were the days when the two of them would sit and chat in a corner while the rest of the world melted away. What remained was an icy exterior he couldn’t read.

Brian looked none the wiser as he mindlessly caressed Percy’s hand on his shoulder.

“Guess what happened today?” Arthur piped up, trying to ease the silence. Elyan really appreciated his effort.

Next to him, Merlin rolled his eyes. “Are you going to tell everyone this?”

“What? A guy can’t be proud of his boyfriend?”

“What did Arthur’s boyfriend do?” Morgana delightfully queried.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Hey, don’t say that! Resuscitating someone’s life is not nothing.”

“Oh my god,” Gwen exclaimed. “You did what?”

“Who did what?” Leon asked, plunking down a pint in front of Elyan.

“Merlin saved someone’s life today!” Gwaine supplied.

“That’s insane!” Jenna chimed in, taking her seat next to Elyan. “I couldn’t even imagine. Have you ever done something like that before?”

“No, he hasn’t.” Arthur boosted. “Which is why it’s impressive.” He explained.

“Can we switch the subject? Gwaine, any new hookups you want to tell us about in gory details?”

“Don’t change the subject you little hero. What? You put a plaster on Will in second grade and no one hears the end of it, but when you literally bring someone back to life you’re suddenly being shy?” 

“Percy, any new clients at the gym?”

“C’mon man.” Percy said, shaking his head in amusement. 

***

Brian was a smoker, so Leon accompanied him and Arthur outside. He couldn’t really sit still anyways. He was practically bouncing on the spot. Arthur’s excuse included needing some air, but Leon knew his friend couldn’t help but to sneak a quickie every now and again. A few years back Arthur had been a full-blown smoker, getting through at least two packs a day. He’d quit after a distant relative had passed away from lung cancer, but that didn’t stop him from cheating from time to time. 

“You want one?” Brian offered, holding out his pack. Leon had never been a smoker, he’d tried it but it never gave him the kick he needed. 

“I’m good, man. Thanks.”

Brian just shrugged and held the pack out for Arthur who quickly took one without so much as a protest.

“Can I ask you guys something?” Brian said after a few moments of silence. With a quick nod from both, Brian continued. “What’s the deal with Percy and Elyan?” 

***

Elyan’s in the line to the bathroom when it finally happens. He’s alone with Percy. They wait in silence for a long moment before Elyan finally breaks it.

“Are you ignoring me?”

Percy looked taken aback. “What?”

“It’s just… You’ve barely said two words to me since I arrived.”

Percy pondered for a moment before he answered. “Well, I guess after new years I just assumed…”

Oh. 

“It doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore.”

“No… it just means… that things are more complicated now.” Percy finished. 

“Yeah… I guess...” As if saved by the bell, the bathroom became available.  

***

The silence was deafening. 

Arthur was taking small drags from his cigarette, not giving off the impression of providing an answer anytime soon, so Leon decided to take it upon himself to do it for him.

“Well…” He started, realising quickly he didn’t actually know what he was going to say. “They… well… nothing!” He settled on.

“Are you sure?” Brian pushed. “Because when he arrived there was this really weird tension, and during new years after the two talked, Percy acted all weird and stuff.”

“Look,” Arthur started, “Nothing is going on between them. Their relationship has just been… a bit complicated. But all that is in the past. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” 

Brian didn’t look completely convinced, but he dropped the subject after that.

***

April 

Leon’s suit felt clammy and too little for his body. He’d gained some significant weight since he’d stopped going to the gym and replaced water with Jack Daniels. He rubbed the sweat from his hands on his trousers, hoping the tiny stain wasn’t too visible.

What he was about to do was the lowest of lows, but he really needed some money, and quickly, or he’d be out on the street owing two people a lot of money. 

As soon as his father stepped through the doors, Leon knew he’d made a mistake. His face bore a stern expression, his suit tailored to perfection. Leon always knew he was well-off as a kid, but he never realised how much so until this very moment.

“Son.” 

Leon stood quickly, stretching out his hand. “Sir.” It felt weird shaking the hand of the man who raised him as if he was a complete stranger. Although his father was a successful man he’d never been cold like Uther Pendragon had been. Strict perhaps, but not loveless. Leon hardly recognised him now. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Leon picked up the menu in front of him and pretended to study the specials really intensely to give himself a few more moments before he’d humiliate himself. The one thing he never wanted to do was be dependent on his parents, but now he needed their help more than anything and that price would not come for free. 

“I have a proposition for you.” He finally said.

***

The wedding invite was gold and white, with a neatly tied ribbon around it. This day had been inevitable ever since Emma chose Josh, he knew that much was true. He just didn’t know it would be so soon. Or that they’d expect him to be there for it. 

*** 

“Well?” Elyan asked as Leon came through the door. He’d told his friend he’d had a job interview. Although that wasn’t a complete lie, he had failed to mention that said job was a position on the board of his father’s company. His dad had always wanted him to get into the family business and Leon knew this was the key to regaining the inheritance he’d once been too proud to accept. 

He’d snuck a little tequila before lunch for courage, and had two whickey’s with his food and after that it’d been easy to let up on all his morals. 

“I got it!” He said, faking a smile. 

“That’s great!” Elyan exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you.” His friend embraced him quickly before pulling away with a disgruntled face. “You reek of whiskey.”

“Yeah, I uh… I celebrated before I got home.” He lied. 

“Oh, ok.” Something told him Elyan didn’t quite believe him. 

***

“What, so you’re going to your ex's wedding?” Gwaine asked. “Isn’t that a little… what’s the word?”

“Pathetic?” Morgana supplied.

“Yeah, that.”

“I think it’s mature.” Jenna defended, comfortingly rubbing circles in his palm. 

Morgana and Gwaine weren’t wrong. Two days prior he would’ve said the same thing. Going to an ex's wedding, even if the relationship ended amicably, seemed like a mistake. The thought of Emma marrying someone else still broke a tiny piece of his heart, despite the fact that Elyan had well and truly moved on a long time ago. It had been obvious that the pair were never going to make it in the long run, they just weren’t the one for each other… but Emma would always be his first love, something like that never really went away, and even if she wasn’t walking down the aisle to him, he still wanted to be there for her on her special day. 

“I’m with Jenna,” Gwen chimed in, “Besides, Emma isn’t just Elyan’s ex, she’s also my friend, and it’s much easier to justify attending her wedding when Elyan is taking the high road.”

“Hear, hear!” Leon agreed, raising his half drunk pint in the air. 

“I don’t know, I just think I’d be uncomfortable knowing my partner's ex was at our wedding, you know? I’d always wonder if there was something more there, because why the fuck would you wanna bring this person back into your life, right? No offence, Elyan.” 

Elyan had not gotten used to Brian yet, even though he’d been meeting him more and more lately. Even if Jenna’s first meeting with everyone had left Elyan feeling insecure, after slowly but steadily including her in more stuff and going to the pub on Friday’s seemed to have warmed the prior chill that was looming over the other’s opinions. 

After his little run-in with Percy by the bathrooms a few weeks back, Elyan had decided that it was time to move on for real, and moving on for real meant not avoiding him. Percy was right, everything was different now, but perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing. After all, it felt liberating for Elyan to be around Percy without the insistent pull in his stomach. 

Although they weren’t sitting by themselves anymore, chatting away the evening, they could talk to each other with the whole group without Elyan worrying about saying something stupid that would make Percy like him less. He could be near Percy without feeling like the world was going to end… mostly. One time he’d been pressed against him when they’d squeezed in at a booth, and Elyan was sure he’d faint. But Elyan blames that on the terrible ventilation in the building. He was happy with Jenna and Percy was happy with Brian. Things were different. Good.

Apart from when Brian opened his mouth to give his unwarranted opinion on things he knew nothing about.

“It’s not your wedding though.” Jenna argued. Elyan was grateful for her. He wasn’t a confrontational person, but Jenna had no problem standing up for him, or anyone really, when they needed it. That was one of the things he loved most about her. “And saying no offence afterwards doesn’t change the fact that you’re being a twat right now.” 

“So when I say something I’m a twat, but when Morgana and Gwaine call him pathetic, they’re not?”

Trying to pick a fight with Morgana was Brian’s first mistake. Before Jenna had time to respond, Morgana was already going off on him.

“Sweetheart,” Morgana started, her voice laced with venom, “What I was doing was a joke. What you were doing was imply Elyan and Emma are having some secret rendezvous. In front of Jenna no less. Tsk, tsk. Do yourself a favour Brian, drink your pint and stop embarrassing yourself.”

Elyan had never seen someone turn so red. Brian opened his mouth to say something before he immediately shut it again. He tugged at Percy’s sleeve to signal him to say something, but Percy quickly said, “Only a fool would go after Morgana.” 

The air left the table, a silence spreading across it. Without saying another word Brain stood and excused himself from the table. Morgana looked unaffected by the whole thing, taking another sip of her drink. Even Gwaine seemed speechless, and he always found a way to insert his opinion where it didn’t belong. Before anyone had the chance to say something however, Percy had left the table, shuffling after his boyfriend. 

***

Leon had solved the issue of showing up to work hungover. Never stop drinking. He took vodka with his orange juice for breakfast and would often sneak a tiny flask with him to the office. It was the only way he could bear his new reality of working for his father. 

It had barely been a month and he was already behind on his paperwork. When he worked as a teacher he took work home with him, nowadays he left early so he could go to the pub. He knew that his father turned a blind eye to his actions, after all, all he’d ever wanted was for Leon to one day take over the company, so he ignored his tardiness and made excuses for him when Leon showed up late. Leon knew that his father’s patience wouldn’t last forever, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

***

May

“I think there’s something wrong with Leon.” Jenna said one night, her head resting on Elyan’s chest. 

“What do you mean?” He let his hand gently stroke up and down her arm, making invisible circles on her skin.

“Maybe not wrong,” Jenna corrected, “Just…” She hesitated for a moment, taking a long breath before she said: “I think he might be an alcoholic.”

Elyan’s hand stilled at the word. When he met Jenna’s eyes, she looked ready to cry. This was apparently a sore subject for her, Elyan could tell.

“When I was younger my dad got laid off and he spent a lot of his time down at the pub. He tried to hide it by covering his smell, but he still reeked of booze. Leon uses the exact same tricks.”

Elyan didn’t know what to say, but his first instinct was to defend his best mate. “He’s had a rough couple of months.” He stated, the words sounding feeble even to his own ears.

“There’s having a hard time and there’s sneaking vodka into your orange juice in the morning.” Jenna interjected, struggling out of Elyan’s hold on her. “I know that he’s your friend and that these things can be hard to hear, but he clearly needs help, and denying it won’t help anyone.” 

“Look… I know Leon, he always tells me when there is something up with him, okay? So can we just drop it and go to sleep?”

“You’re unbelievable.” Before he could react, Jenna was pulling her clothes on and storming out of his bedroom.

Elyan trailed after her.

“Where are you going?” 

“Home.”

“It’s late.” Elyan argued. “It’s not safe.”

Jenna seemed to consider it for a moment, then concluded: “I’ll get a cab. Don’t follow me.” Before storming out of the door, leaving Elyan in his briefs wondering how it all had gone so wrong. 

*** 

When Leon got home in the AMs, he found Elyan on the sofa, staring mindlessly at the turned off telly. 

He’d been at the pub with some people from work. He was really trying to make his new work situation more bearable by befriending his colleagues, but after a drink with them, he already hated all of them. 

“What’s up, Buttercup?” He asked, plunking down on the sofa next to Elyan. His friend acknowledged him with a little nod, before turning his attention back to the wall.

“Where have you been?” Elyan asked after a moment of silence. 

“Out with some mates from work.” 

Elyan nodded in understanding.

“I got in a fight with Jenna… She left.”

“Fuck, are you okay?”

“Are you?”

Leon wasn’t ready for the question. People didn’t usually ask him that. He was the one who had his life together, not the one who people showed concern for. Yet, here he was, the least put together person in his friend group, with a job he hated and terrible habits that he couldn’t quit.

Instead of answering Elyan’s question, he told the other he was heading to bed and left before Elyan could ask anything else. 

***

Jenna hadn’t contacted Elyan in a week. He tried calling her the day after their argument with no response. After that he decided to let her make the first move. Something that Kara heavily criticised him for. 

“God, what am I supposed to do with you?” She’d tutted, shaking her head. 

The worst part about letting your colleague set you up was the fact that work no longer was a safe space. Jenna had clearly talked to Kara, and Kara was not going to make Elyan forget that he’d messed up.

He could admit that perhaps he should’ve been more forthcoming with Jenna’s concerns. After all, she wasn’t one to make accusations out of thin air. However, his loyalty to Leon was strong, and he trusted that his best friend would come to him with his problems.

Sure, Leon had been drinking more recently and he’d started working for his father which Elyan knew he despised… but that didn’t mean he was an alcoholic. Words like that were really harmful, especially for someone like Leon who still wished to return to his role as an educator someday. 

This year had changed Elyan a lot. His talk with Arthur, his realisations at New Years, getting together with Jenna. He wasn’t the same nervous mess that he’d once been, and perhaps he would’ve crumbled a lot easier a year ago, but not anymore. He might feel bad, but he could never regret standing by his friend. 

***

Leon woke up in a house he didn’t recognise with a pounding headache and someone next to him. He peeked to his side, finding a fully clothed blonde woman slumbering next to him. He sighed a breath of relief, because sleeping with a stranger would certainly have been a new low for him.

It’s not that he hadn’t had sex. Back at school it seemed like a requirement for teenage boys to want to do it, so he’d done it with a girl in his class who fancied him. The whole experience had felt a bit strange, he could tell she felt the same way. They never talked about it afterwards.

Although it hadn’t been bad per say, he hadn’t really enjoyed it either, or wanted it particularly much. He’d never really wanted it if he was being honest. Not sex, not romance, or anything of the kind. 

When it happened, he’d never even had a proper relationship, unless you count his primary school girlfriend that lasted for about two hours, ending with a fight by the swings. 

Leon did his best to leave as discreetly as he could, ignoring the fact that his head was killing him, but the woman must’ve been a light sleeper, because she stirred awake as soon as his feet hit the floor.

She looked confused at his presence at first, before seemingly remembering that Leon was there, and relaxed a bit. 

“Good morning.” She greeted him. “Sleep well?” 

Leon didn’t answer her, just nodded in agreement, cursing the fact that he couldn’t make a swift and unnoticed exit. 

“You don’t remember, do you?” She asked, looking slightly concerned. She waited a moment for an answer, but must have sensed the truth and continued, “You were stumbling around outside the coffee shop I work at, looking lost. I tried to help you home, but you couldn’t remember where it was… I couldn’t really leave you stranded, so I brought you back here. You passed out immediately when your head hit the pillow. Hope you didn’t mind that I slept next to you, but my roomie's mate is visiting and occupying the sofa, besides, I didn’t want to leave you alone in case you would drown in your own vomit or something.” 

She didn’t take a single break, just rambling on and on. Leon tried to remember something from the night before, but not even the recollection could jog his memory. 

“I’m Elena by the way.” The woman added, reaching out her hand.

Despite everything, Leon was well raised, and from her own account, she’d seemingly rescued him from sleeping in a stupor. “Leon,” He rasped out. 

“Goodness, you sound like death. I’ll get you some water and a paracetamol.” 

***

Jenna: Sorry, can’t do this right now

Jenna: I think we should break up

***

June

Leon was at the pub when it happened. One moment he was having a drink, the next moment everything went dark.

***

Elyan got the call right before bed. He’d forgotten that he was Leon’s emergency contact. His first thoughts went to his father, something must have happened to him. Except, it wasn’t about his father.

His initial reaction was to call Arthur, because he owned a car. When he told Arthur what had happened, he’d barely finished before Arthur told him that he was on his way over and hung up the phone.

Arthur picked him up barely ten minutes later and drove them in record speed to the hospital. 

They couldn’t see Leon right away, being pointed to a waiting room. Arthur was furiously texting someone, but Elyan paid him little attention. He kept looking at the entrance, waiting for someone to show up and tell them what the hell had just happened.

The first person to stop by was Merlin. He was working an evening shift, and had clearly been briefed by Arthur about the situation.

“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try to find out what’s going on.” He’d said before being paged away.

Morgana arrived not soon after, looking dishevelled and not nearly as put together as she usually did. “Do you have any updates?” She asked hurriedly, looking expectantly at them.

“Not yet.” Arthur responded. “Merlin said he’d try to find out what’s going on.”

Morgana seemed satisfied with that for now, and slumped down next to her cousin. “Has anyone contacted Gwen and Lance?” She asked suddenly. 

Elyan looked to Arthur, since he’d clearly already told at least Merlin and Morgana. 

“I only told you and Merlin.” Arthur said. “No need to worry the other’s when we don’t even know what’s going on yet.”

Elyan would’ve probably argued that Merlin and Morgana were plenty already, but he also understood. Merlin worked at the hospital and was a good ally to have, and besides Arthur, Morgana had known Leon the longest. This was their childhood friend. Elyan knew that if anyone was as worried as he was, it would be the two of them. Besides, it was sort of nice to not have to face it alone.

***

…

***

Alcohol poisoning. Elyan mentally slapped himself over being so stupid. Jenna had warned him about it, but he’d dismissed her and they’d broken up instead.

Jenna was still a sore spot for him. He’d spent a lot of time feeling shitty, but Leon had been there and supported him just like he had with Emma. To think that Elyan hadn’t been there for Leon when he was struggling…

***

When Leon woke up in a hospital bed three days later with concerned eyes looking down at him, he knew that he’d fucked up majorly. 

***

June

May had not been a great month for Elyan. First the break up and then Leon almost dying from alcohol poisoning. He’d been recommended to a rehabilitation centre to deal with his addiction which Arthur had insisted he would pay for, despite Leon’s protests.

The flat felt empty without Leon’s presence, but as a supplement, their friend group had found their way back to it. Arthur had started spending a lot of nights on the sofa again, spending a lot of sleepless nights by Elyan’s side as they drank tea and chatted. 

Gwen would show up at random times with all kinds of baked goods, while Morgana had started acting as an interior designer again, buying new paintings for the walls and plastic fruit to put in bowls that she claimed added character, but Elyan secretly thought was silly.

Friday nights at the pub had turned into Friday nights at the flat. They played board games where Arthur and Morgana got really competitive, or watched some film that Lance owned on DvD. 

It was a good distraction from all the terrible. A way to pretend that everything would be okay despite the constant cloud hanging over them – the uncertainty of what would happen next.

***

Dear diary,

I’ve never actually written a diary before, and perhaps this is supposed to be a journal and not a diary, but I don’t have any experience either way. My only knowledge of diary writing comes from film or student assignments, and apparently you’re supposed to write “dear diary” at the beginning, as if you’re talking to it? I’m not actually sure how this all works, but I am told it’s a good exercise and that it’ll be good for my recovery, so I suppose I should just do it.

Rehab sucks. 

My parents found out, and my dad gave me executive leave from work. It was an extremely awkward phone call to make, but a necessary one nonetheless. I don’t think I can go back to work when I get out of here. One of the main reasons my drinking got so bad in the first place is because it was the only way I could stomach that stupid job.

Although they say it’s your choice, it didn’t really feel like I had a say in getting treatment or not. I’m apparently an alcoholic? Stupid, really. I don’t think that’s entirely accurate, I’ve only been drinking a lot to get through some rough times, that’s totally normal I think. Who can blame me? My friends drink just as much as I do, and I don’t see them here. 

I think I just agreed to get everyone off my back. I don’t want Elyan to worry, he has enough problems as it is. He pretends like everything is good, but I know the break up with Jenna hurt him a lot more than he is willing to admit. Stupid cow, dumping him out of the blue like that. Over text no less! He insists she isn’t one, but this is my diary, so I’m allowed to write whatever the fuck I please.

My roommate is nice I suppose. He cries a lot at night, but if I sleep with one ear towards the mattress and cover the other with a pillow it’s barely noticeable. Almost like white noise. During group he confessed to driving drunk and almost dying in a crash. He doesn’t talk about it much, but this guy Cenred told me that he’d paralysed his wife who was in the car with him. I don’t know if he’s telling the truth or not, since some lady claimed that it was actually his daughter. Someone else said he’d killed a family in another car. I don’t know what to believe. 

All I know is that I don’t belong here. I never almost killed someone. Never pissed myself in public. Never almost drowned when I decided to take a late night swim. Never smashed an ex's apartment because I was mad at them.

So I got alcohol poisoning… big whoop. Could have happened to anyone. 

This is all so fucking stupid. 

***

When Elyan and Jenna were still together, he’d added her as a plus one to Emma and Josh’s upcoming nuptials. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but after they’d ended things and everything with Leon happened, he had completely forgotten all about it, until it was suddenly two weeks left and he didn’t have anyone to go with.

Normally he’d take Leon, but he wasn’t exactly an option anymore. Gwen and Lance were already going, so that option was also a dead end. 

“Morgana,” She was lounging on the sofa, probably doing some online shopping on her mobile. It felt strange to ask her, but out of all of their friends she seemed the most likely to agree. She was intimidating, sure, but also someone whom Elyan had always been very fond of. He figured there wasn’t any harm in asking at least. “Would you want to be my plus one for Emma and Josh’s wedding?”  

“Darling, I would have loved to go with you, but I can’t, remember?” He suddenly did remember. Morgana and Freya were going to Sweden to visit her family there. It would be the first time Morgana would be meeting Freya’s family and it was sort of a big deal. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. 

“Right.” 

He must have looked defeated, because Morgana, the problem solver that she was, already had an alternative in mind. “Why don’t you bring Percy with you? I know you haven’t been that close lately, but he and Brian broke up recently, and I think it would be good for both of you to put yourselves out there again.”

This was new information to him. With everything that had happened, he’d completely missed that Brian and Percy had broken up. Percy had shown up without him during some of the Friday night hang outs, and despite keeping his distance from him, it had been nice to be able to spend time with Percy without so much tension between them. When he thought about it, Brian hadn’t been around for a while, but Elyan had just assumed it was out of courtesy or because he was afraid of Morgana, not because the pair had broken up. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“Look,” Morgana said, clearly thinking through her next words carefully. “We all know that there were possibly some feelings between the two of you at some point. Then Jenna and Brian happened, and no one said anything because it wasn’t really our place to say anything, but… you’re both single now, and, don’t take this the wrong way, you’re a very different person to who you used to be. More confident and comfortable in yourself. Perhaps Elyan from a year ago would never be able to ask Percy to a wedding, but that doesn’t mean you can’t now. Don’t you think you both owe it to yourselves to actually give it a try at least? Even if it’s just the first step to becoming friends again?” 

Elyan would have liked to argue that he and Percy already were friends, but even he knew that it wasn’t entirely true anymore. Friendly, sure, but not close to what they used to have. Sometimes, late at night, he’d allow himself to remember those times. When life seemed simpler, and his silly crush on Percy was his biggest problem in life. 

He wasn’t ready to get into a relationship again, not even close. Especially not with Percy. Yet Morgana’s words made sense. Did he owe it to himself to try and mend his relationship with Percy? Shouldn’t Leon nearly dying be a reminder that life was fragile, and things shouldn’t be left unsaid? 

Morgana’s focus drifted back to her phone, meanwhile Elyan’s head was spinning. What was the worst that could happen? A broken heart? He’d already had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime at this point. 

Without overthinking it, he took his own phone out and sent Percy a text. When he was done he put it on the counter, putting some distance from himself and the device by sitting down on the sofa next to Morgana instead. She scooted in closer, and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you.” She said, “This will be good for you.” 

For his sake, he really hoped she was right. 

***

I’ve decided to not start these entries with dear diary anyone, because it feels stupid. It’s been two weeks since my last entry and I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy, both individually and in group. The first step is to admit you have a problem and a part of that is finding the root of your addiction.

Personally I think it’s due to the fact that I’ve been forced to work at a soulless corporation, but my therapist disagrees. He thinks it runs deeper than that. 

After a lot of time spent on mapping out my journey with alcohol, I established that I had my first taste of it when I was twelve. It was on Christmas Eve. Morgana had nicked a bottle of champagne from one of the tables, and had pulled me and Arthur aside to taste it.

All I remember is that I found it gross. I couldn’t believe people drank it willingly. I’ve always thought I had a healthy relationship to alcohol. I could control how much I drink, but I’ve also realised that I’ve had moments in my life when I’ve been drinking irresponsibly when I’ve been put under stress. Like when I was waiting for my GCSE results, or when I decided to go against my father and live independently.

The only difference is that there’s been a semblance of normalcy that stabilised me before. This past year I’ve been stuck in a constant bubble of stress and anxiety, and in my attempt to numb the pain with drinking, I’ve become dependent on it instead. There’s no filter anymore, no stop.

Some tell me I’m lucky that I got alcohol poisoning so soon, like a wake up call before I did something truly horrible to someone else. I’m not sure I agree with that. I would’ve much rather not have spent three days in a coma and scaring everyone in my life. I wish I hadn’t taken a loan from Arthur by lying to him. 

I finally asked my roommate, Tristan, I don’t think I mentioned his name last time, about his whole deal. He hasn’t killed or paralysed anyone like people have insisted. He drove drunk on an empty road after coming home from a night of drinking. He thought he saw something on the road and swerved off it, crashing into a tree. If someone else hadn’t passed by soon after, he’d probably have died. 

The reason he’s been so upset is because his wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t get his act together. I don’t think she’s visited him once since he’s been here. 

That’s my biggest fear. To completely alienate the people I care about. I don’t think I could bear it. So I’m actually trying.

It’s not been easy. I hadn’t realised how dependent I’d become, how much I’d been repressing with my drinking. Now I feel everything all at once and I miss the numbness. Maybe I shouldn’t, but it’s the truth. It’s not healthy, not sustainable, but even being able to admit that now is good, at least according to my therapist. Now I just need to find another way to numb the pain somehow. 

My therapist encouraged me to take up knitting again — I’ve already made enough things to cover birthday and Christmas gifts for all my friends for the rest of the year. It used to help relieve stress, now it just feels like another distraction that doesn’t quite scratch that itch alcohol would. Sometimes I worry nothing ever will. 

***

The service was held in the old church in Emma’s hometown. Elyan remembered Emma talking about wanting to get married there someday — she would rave on about the high ceilings with portraits from the bible and the colourfully stained glass. He’d never been there until now, but of course she’d been right — the place was beautiful. 

Percy sat to his right, sneaking glances over at him that he thought Elyan didn’t notice. To his left was Gwen and Lance, the former wiping silent tears from her eyes while the other had a firm grip on her hand. 

When he’d texted Percy he’d immediately regretted it, but it wasn’t long before he’d gotten a response telling him it would be fun. Elyan wasn’t sure if that was the word he’d use to describe it, but he kept thinking about what Morgana had told him. They owed each other this.

The drive out to the countryside had been a quiet affair, Lance at the wheel with Gwen up front, Elyan and Percy sitting in a companionable silence in the back. 

When they arrived and checked in, Elyan found out that his last minute request of changing a double to two single beds hadn’t  been solved. 

“Sorry.” He’d mumbled, feeling more embarrassed than anything.

“It’s alright!” Percy had answered with a big goofy grin. “I don’t mind sharing. I hope you’re not a hoarder of duvets.” Percy joked, trying to ease Elyan’s mind.

It helped a little he thought, at least Percy seemed to be trying, the least Elyan could do in return was to show that he was too.

“They’re so beautiful.” Gwen whispered over Lance as the pair made it down the aisle. Despite himself Elyan felt a knot forming in his stomach. Before he had any time to freak out too much, he felt Percy’s hand in his.

When he met the others' eyes he gave him a reassuring smile, and Elyan could feel himself ease up slightly. 

“Yeah, quite the pair.” He finally answered Gwen. 

***

The reception was as lovely as it could be. Emma and Josh had really gone all in on the planning – white roses, candlelight dinner, even a DJ. He’d congratulated them, and Emma had given him a hug that lasted a bit longer than necessary. 

He spent the night dancing with Gwen, getting tipsy off champagne and telling Percy uni stories. He’d even agreed to slow dance with him at some point, too drunk to question if it was a good idea or not. 

As they stood there swaying back and forth, Elyan suddenly remembered why he’d been so into Percy in the first place. From his strong frame, to the little jokes he would whisper in Elyan’s ear – little secrets just for the two of them.

It should scare him to fall into the same trap as before, but for the time being, he decided that he shouldn’t worry about that.

***

“Emma is really cool.” Percy commented later that evening as they were getting ready for bed. “I mean, her dancing? Incredible.”

“Yeah, she’s awesome.” He agreed. It was true, Emma had always been an extremely cool person. Elyan had always known that, even after things ended between them. Despite everything, seeing her and Josh so happy together really made him feel glad. He didn’t harbour any resentment towards them, and they really deserved a good life together. 

“Thanks for inviting me along, I had a really good time.”

“Yeah? Not uncomfortable knowing I’ve had a relationship with the bride?” It was said as a joke, but Percy turned serious at the reference to Brian’s words.

“I’m really sorry he said that to you. It wasn’t cool.”

Although Percy wasn’t the one who should be apologising, he still appreciated it nevertheless. 

“It’s not your job to apologise for what someone else has said.”

“I didn’t defend you though and I should have.” 

“That was such a long time ago… whatever happened between you and Brian anyways?” 

Maybe that was a bit of a sensitive topic. Something they should stay clear off in an attempt to mend their fractured friendship, but it also felt like one of those things they should be able to talk about. At least if they ever wanted to be friends again.

Percy didn’t answer immediately, just picked at something invisible on the duvet. Elyan was about to give up entirely, when Percy finally said: “He said it wouldn’t work out because I was clearly into someone else.”

“Were you?”

“I… sort of.” Percy wasn’t looking at him, still concentrating on the duvet. 

“Did you tell them about it?”

That’s when Percy finally looked up at him. “I am.”

Oh.

Maybe Elyan should’ve known that, perhaps on some deeper level he did. He remembered New Year’s after all. However, this entire time he’d convinced himself that his attraction to Percy was one-sided, yet here they were, and Percy was openly declaring his feelings for him. 

“I’ve liked you since the moment we met, you know? I just didn’t think you liked me back, after all, you kept running away when things got serious, and then Brian came back and I thought that I could move on from you, but I couldn’t. He knew that, probably better than I did. But then you started dating Jenna and I…”

“We broke up.” Elyan heard himself say, still a bit in awe over the words leaving Percy’s mouth.

“I heard…”

“If it makes you feel any better, I was totally into you too. Well, am, I guess? I am into you, still. I just don’t know if I’m ready to get into anything so soon after Jenna.”

Percy nodded in understanding. “I get it. I wouldn’t want to pressure you or anything.”

Typical Percy, being so understanding. 

“What if we… took it slow?” Elyan suggested.

The smile Percy gave him made Elyan all warm inside. “Slow,” He repeated, “What would that entail?”

“I don’t know,” Elyan admitted a bit sheepishly, “Maybe take me out on a real date for starters? One that isn’t my ex’s wedding.” 

“Yeah,” Percy chuckled, “I think I could do that.”

“Good… and then…”

“We take it as it comes…”

“Yeah.”

Elyan spent that night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep with Percy so close to him, and if he woke up to Percy’s arm draped around him and went back to sleep pretending like nothing had happened, that was only for him to know. 

***

Showing remorse to the people that you’ve hurt is a big part of the rehabilitation process. My first contender, if you will, was Arthur. I called him up to apologise for lying to him about the loan. Stupid git forgave me right away and told me to forget about it… Is it awful that this makes me feel worse? As if I don’t deserve such grace?

Elyan visited me, which was nice. That way I could apologise to him in person for all the lying and for scaring him with my near death experience.  Also the whole Jenna thing… I didn’t even know they’d broken up because of me. He told me it wasn’t a big deal, but that really feels like one of those awful things people keep talking about.

I told Elyan about Elena, a girl who had picked me up and let me crash at her place, and he said that if it was who he thought it was, it was someone he knew. Small world and all that. I wrote her a letter to thank her for the kindness she’d shown me, and apologised for putting her in that position in the first place. Elyan promised he would give it to her. 

My time in rehab is almost up. I got my thirty day chip yesterday. It’s stupid, really, but it made me feel… I don’t know, proud? For like the first time in a really long time.

I’ve made up a plan with my therapist on how I will handle life on the outside. He’s recommended some local AA meetings, hooked me up with a sponsor to call and everything. I also promised him that I would quit working for my father. After all, it was a huge trigger for my addiction, and the odds are that it will drag me down the spiral again. 

The worst part about all of this is that I’m not sure I’ll ever be a teacher again… Who would want to hire me now? I know that there is another path for me, but right now I don’t know what it is, and that uncertainty is stressing me out. When I mentioned this to Elyan, he promised he would do some research and have some options ready for me when I get back.

It means putting my trust in someone else, but if there is anyone I can trust in this awful world, it’s Elyan. 

***

July

He’d promised Leon to not make a big deal about his return. Arthur had gone to pick him up alone, so as to not make a big spectacle of it, and Elyan spent his day at work thinking about literally nothing else. He could’ve taken the day off, Kara wouldn’t have minded. Yet he knew that Leon already felt some pressure returning home again, and the last thing he needed was all of his friends hoarding him all at once. 

Elyan had promised to look at job opportunities for Leon when he was gone, and he’d found some good alternatives. He told Kara about them for the up-tenth time before she told him to go home early.

At home, Elyan spent some of his time stress cleaning and the rest of it sitting paralysed on the sofa staring mindlessly at the telly without paying any attention to what was playing.

When he finally heard the key in the lock, he was practically rushing to the door. 

Leon had let his hair grow out, but was clean shaven. He had a duffel on his shoulder that he didn’t have time to put down before Elyan was leaping into his arms.

“Gosh, I was only gone for like a month.” Leon joked, but still hugged Elyan back. 

“I’m so glad you’re home.” Elyan whispered.

“Me too.”

***

Leon had known that it would be hard to stay sober after leaving rehab, especially since it had already been hard when he was still there.

His father didn’t take kindly to him handing in his notice, but his mother had called him privately and told him she was proud of him. It was nice to know that he at least had one of his parents on his side. 

The rest of his friends had also been extremely supportive, especially by replacing pub Fridays with staying home Friday’s. Elyan and Arthur had also scavenged the apartment for alcohol and gotten rid of it before he returned. He’d told them of his hiding places while still in rehab. 

Elyan had also kept up his promise of looking into potential work for Leon. Elyan had asked Elena if they had any openings at the shop, and had also looked into teaching positions for night classes. Leon was now a part-time barista and set to become a night-time English teacher for adults that needed extra help learning the language come August.

Elena was kind and understanding when teaching Leon how to operate the espresso machine, or when he dropped something — especially since she dropped equally as much if not more. He noticed that the owner, David, was very fond of her, or he might’ve terminated her a long time ago. 

David was understanding of Leon's situation, he was a recovering addict himself, which explained a lot about his willingness to forgive tiny mistakes. 

“Shrug it off and try again.” He told Leon after his second attempt at making a latte and failing miserably.

The customer on the other side of the counter was tapping their foot impatiently, but David looked completely unperturbed. 

When Leon finally finished the order, David offered a scone on the house as a consolation for the wait, and they seemed satisfied enough. 

“A few more days and I think you’ll be ready for the morning rush.” 

“I don’t know.” He wiped some crumbs off the counter. “I’m pretty useless at this.”

“You’ll learn. It’s only been a little over a week after all. Normally I’d throw people into the work immediately but I’ve been trying to ease you into it due to the circumstances.”

Leon wasn’t sure if he felt grateful or pitied. Perhaps a little bit of both? 

“I’ll do better.”

“I know.” David winked before disappearing into his office. 

***

Elyan had consciously not told anyone except Leon about his upcoming date with Percy. He was starting to regret it however as he tried to find the right outfit to wear. He’d never been particularly interested in clothes, but somehow this felt like an important decision. As if what he was wearing would decide the outcome of the date. 

“Honey, I’m home.” A voice yelled beyond his bedroom door. 

Elyan left his clothing pile to be in favour of asking Leon about his day. He found Leon on the sofa with his head in his hands.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Tired. Which is good I think. Means I put in an effort right?”

“Yeah.” Elyan agreed. “How are you liking it? Elena keeps texting me updates, but they’re impossible to decipher.”

Leon laughed at that. “She’s really something else, isn’t she?” Elyan nodded in agreement. Elena was in a league of her own. “It’s good, I’ve almost mastered the art of making a latte. Aren’t you proud?” There was a hint of sarcasm there, but Elyan decided to ignore it.

“As a matter of fact I am. I’m really proud of you for putting yourself out there and trying something new.”

“God, let’s change the subject before you continue. Tell me what you’ve been up to instead.” Elyan shifted slightly, considering if he should confess to his wardrobe crisis. 

“That shut you up, huh?” Leon teased. “Stressed about your date tomorrow?” 

“No.” 

“Too fast.”

“I don’t have anything to wear.” Elyan admitted. There wasn’t a point in lying. 

Leon laughed again. “Well, I’d tell you to call Gwen or Morgana but you ruled those options out already.”

Now it was Elyan’s turn to bury his head in his hands. “It should not be this hard to pick out a shirt.”

Leon pondered this a bit. “Maybe not, but this is a big deal. I mean, you’ve been crushing on this guy for like… forever… well, on and off.” He added thoughtfully. “I’m sure you’re a little nervous.”

“More like two seconds from throwing up every time I think about it.”

“Classic Elyan hijinx.”

Elyan hit Leon with a pillow he had at hand. “Shut up.”

“I can’t promise I’ll be any good at this… but if you want, I could help.”

“That’s all I ask.”

***

The AA meeting he attended had been recommended to him by his therapist. He didn’t know what to expect. Leon had seen enough films and tv shows to get an idea, but nothing could’ve prepared him for what it was actually like… ordinary. 

In the films someone always stood up and held a dramatic monologue about how alcohol had ruined their life. In real life people would still hold monologues, but it was hardly an Oscar worthy performance. They talked about how hard it was to stay sober, why they’d gotten clean. It was comforting to know he wasn’t alone. He’d even talked a bit himself. 

The coffee was shite and the biscuits were stale, but as a whole, it was a mostly positive experience. Nothing too horrifying that would stop him from returning. 

***

Elyan had ended up wearing the button up shirt he’d gotten from Gwen at Christmas. It was a nice enough fit, and he felt comfortable in it.

Percy had insisted on picking him up, which felt silly, but Elyan had agreed to it anyway because he really didn’t feel like starting an argument over something that petty.

When he opened the door and found Percy in a sleeveless top, he felt his heart skip a beat. 

“You look… cold.” Elyan mentally hit his head on the wall. Typical of him to stick his foot in his mouth.

Thankfully for him, Percy just laughed. Against all odds, Percy seemed to find Elyan’s awkwardness charming more than anything. 

“Shall we head out?” Percy reached out his hand for him, and Elyan only hesitated for a moment before he took it. 

***

Maintaining sobriety was a harder feat than Leon could’ve ever imagined, especially when he came upon people who were clearly intoxicated. That faint scent they emitted of liquor shouldn’t be as triggering as it turned out to be.

He found that being alone for longer periods at a time was a struggle. That’s when he started thinking and thinking led to thoughts that inevitably made him want to drink. 

As Elyan was off on his first date with Percy, Leon found solace in the company of Arthur and Merlin. Despite Leon being fond of all of his friends — the one he was closest to after Elyan was Arthur, and by extension Morgana. 

Although loneliness wasn’t a great option, big group events also seemed to make him antsy. Partially from guilt of acting the fool after too many nights out, but also from the shame he didn’t want to feel but did because of his addiction.

He knew his friends would never judge him, yet he still felt observed when they all hung out — as if everyone was walking on eggshells around him. Constant watchful eyes looking worried. 

Perhaps Elyan did that too a bit, Leon knew he was always worried, despite his attempts at hiding it. However, one person worrying was more than enough — he didn’t need Gwen showing up with baked goods and brewing tea for him, or Gwaine cracking rehab jokes because he didn’t know how else to talk about it. 

Arthur never did any of that. He treated Leon the same, probably because he’d known him for so long. They’d both seen each other at some very low points, yet they always made it out alive. Merlin was an added bonus — as a future medical professional he at least knew how to act around Leon without infantilising him. 

“How’s the coffee gig working out?” Arthur asked as he placed a soda in front of Leon. 

“Good, I think. I’m not exactly born to be a barista, but it keeps the mind busy, and that’s good.”

“Just you wait, you’ll be making latte art any day now.” Merlin added, curling up on a chair by the sofa. 

“Now, I don’t know about that…”

“Well, at least you make a mean cup of coffee.” Arthur stated. “Nothing wrong with that.”

“God, you just want someone to make coffee for you.”

Arthur let out a huff. “Why do you think I keep Merlin around?”

At the comment, Merlin flung a pillow at Arthur, but even Leon noticed the fond smile on his face.

***

“I hope this is okay.” Percy fidgeted a bit, looking like a ball of nerves, which seemed out of character for him. 

They were at an old school diner, fit with tiny jukeboxes on the tables. Percy had insisted on a booth by a window, because according to him the charm of these places was seeing the world reflecting a different era than the one the diner presented.

Elyan skimmed the menu, before noticing that Percy was looking right at him. “Do I have something on my face?”

“Huh? No, no, just… I’m glad we could do this.” 

Elyan couldn’t help the small smile that forced its way onto his face. “Me too.”

They just looked at each other for a long moment before Elyan remembered where they were. “Since you’re the pro here, what would you recommend to eat?”

“Well, that’s easy. Cheeseburger and a chocolate shake, two straws.”

“Oh?”

Percy shrugged.

“Well, since you’re the expert…”

***

The night air was a cool summer breeze, perfect for a walk. Percy had not only insisted he pay, a fight he’d lost, and that he’d walk Elyan home, which was hard to refuse since they lived so close to each other.

He’d grabbed Elyan’s hand almost unconsciously, and he’d let him. It felt good to touch Percy, feel the heat radiating off of him. 

“You didn’t have to walk me to the door.” Elyan protested.

“You’re one to talk.” Percy teased, recalling the times in the beginning of their friendship when Elyan and Leon would always walk Percy home. 

“We’d been drinking then.” He interjected, but as he said it he couldn’t help but smile. This whole conversation was futile. “Thanks for walking me home. I had a great time.”

“Me too.” Percy smiled.

They just stood there for a while, outside the building, no one making any move. 

“You know, you can kiss me if you want to.” Elyan braved, not quite meeting Percy’s gaze as he said it. 

So much for taking it slow, Elyan privately thought, but when Percy tilted his chin up and slowly leaned in to peck him softly on the lips, all of those previous doubts seemed to disappear. 

***

August 

It was a stupid idea, really. However, it had to be done. Leon braved the threshold of the public library and instinctively tried to locate one of the information desks. 

“Pardon, is Jenna possibly working today?” 

“May I ponder on who’s asking?” The lady behind the desk had a professional smile on her face and a distinct Welsh accent.

“I’m a friend of hers… sort of. I’m Leon, a friend of her ex-boyfriend.” It wasn’t the best way to present himself — who wouldn’t appreciate a visit from the exes friend, nice going Leon. 

The smile on the librarian didn’t falter however as she said: “She should be around somewhere, I could call her if you’d like.”

“It’s alright, I’ll just-“ He pointed towards some stacks before scurrying away. This was a terrible idea. Not only showing up at Jenna’s job, but practically sneaking up on her as well. If this wasn’t so important he would’ve turned around right then and there. 

He walked along the stacks of books, feeling calm at their presence. It had always calmed him to be surrounded by books, in another life he would’ve probably been a librarian. 

It didn’t take him too long to track Jenna down. She was unloading some books from a cart while reshelving them. She hadn’t noticed him yet, but as he took a few more steps forward she instinctively looked up, probably to step away in case she was in the way, and when her eyes met his, her face turned stone cold for a second before she plastered on a professional neutral face.

“Hi!” She greeted, as if she didn’t know him at all. “Is there anything I could help you with today?”

“I…” Perhaps he should have prepared what exactly he was going to say before doing this. “Look, I’m really sorry to disturb you at work, but I really need to talk to you, and I figured this was the best way to get to talk to you.”

Jenna didn’t really say anything to that, just kept looking at him, willing him to continue.

“I wanted to say thank you, really. And sorry on top of that.”

At that Jenna’s neutral expression softened. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Elyan told me about why you broke up, and I never meant for my problems to get in the way of the two of you, so for that I’m really sorry. I’m also thankful that when no one else noticed I was struggling, you did.”

“It was nothing.”

“No it wasn’t. I almost died, you know… I went to rehab, been sober nearly two months.”

“That’s nice to hear.” She said honestly. “I’m glad you got the help you needed.”

“It’s just… I’ve apologised to everyone else I hurt, except for you. So again, I’m really, terribly sorry. You don’t have to forgive me, but I needed you to hear it nonetheless.”

Jenna observed him for a moment before stepping closer, giving him an unsure hug. To ease her worry, he reciprocated as best he could. “Thank you.” She whispered before pulling back.

***

Not telling anyone he was going out with Percy was possibly the best decision Elyan could’ve made for their blossoming relationship. There was no pressure from their friends on how their relationship should develop – instead, they could just take it easy and let things happen at their own pace.

Elyan’s initial request to take it slow had possibly been naive since it took him approximately one kiss on their first date for him to invite Percy up to the flat, and a little more snogging to take him to bed. In fairness, the past year had been a prolonged foreplay in some sense, they’d already shared a bed during the wedding and being unable to touch Percy had been pure torture. 

He’d never considered himself a touch starved person, but Percy was someone who couldn’t keep his hands off him ever, and Elyan was growing accustomed to it. A hand on his lower back as he fixed them tea in the morning, a peck as they said their goodbyes – so much cuddling always, because Percy was a cuddly guy, and Elyan was turning into one as well. 

It was this casual affection that would come to be their downfall when it came to keeping their relationship a secret. The group was gathered for game night at the flat, Gwaine planted safely between the pair to avoid suspicion. 

Merlin had brought along his childhood friend Will, who clearly was not a fan of Arthur, but immediately adored Morgana. Apparently he found Arthur too posh, which was ironic because anyone would agree that Morgana was too. 

Elyan’s eyes had continuously found Percy’s, sharing secret smiles with him. He could feel Leon’s knowing eyes on them, but tried his hardest to ignore it as best he could. 

“Pay up Pendragon!” Morgana cheered, motioning with her hand. Monopoly was not for the faint of heart, and because they were so many it took them forever to complete. Gwen had opted to not even play, along with Lance, Merlin and Elyan. 

In the time they’d had game nights, Arthur and Morgana had shown themselves to be competitive in just about anything they played, whether it was monopoly or go fish, they were always playing to win, and especially against the other.

Arthur reluctantly handed over the money, grunting something to himself. 

“You’re such a sore loser, it’s insane.” Morgana laughed, before handing over the dice to Gwaine.

“Watch out Morgana, I’m coming for you.” Gwaine teased, before tossing. “Fuck!” He paid her, before slumping further into the sofa.

“This is too easy, we should play something else to help your poor egos.” 

“Please, no more.” Leon exclaimed. “I can’t have Arthur lose another game.”

“Oi!”

“I think we should call it.” Gwen noted, checking her watch. “It’s getting quite late and I need to get up early tomorrow.”

“Yeah, me too.” Percy agreed. “Early client.” He got up out of his seat on the sofa and Elyan instinctively followed him to the door. 

In the hallway, squeezed in trying to get their shoes on, Percy planted a quick kiss on Elyan, without thinking. Gwen, halfway through putting on her shoes, let out an almost inhumane sound.

“You cheeky bastard!” She exclaimed. “I knew you were hiding something.” The smile on her face took away the edge of her harsh words. 

“What happened?” Morgana yelled from the living room. 

“They’re snogging out here!” Gwen yelled back.

“We were not snogging!” Elyan insisted to deaf ears, as Morgana came rushing over

Morgana, poised as ever, crossed her arms and looked slightly smug as she said, “I see you took my advice.”

***

September

Teaching again brought a sense of purpose back to Leon’s life. It was different, teaching adults instead of children, another kind of responsibility helping people conquer the English language.

There was a much stricter lesson plan for him to follow, not leaving a lot of room for improvisation, but Leon didn’t mind it all that much. It helped eliminate some of the stress of the job while allowing him to fall into the rhythm of teaching again. 

He still worked at the shop, which although stressful, still helped him keep his mind off drinking. Elena was good at distracting him, and was even better at helping him keep calm during the morning and lunch rush. People could be impatient and sometimes even unkind, but it never seemed to phase her at all — sometimes it would take some time to get an order ready, and she refused to rush for anyone. Leon really admired her for that. 

One new habit that Leon had picked up that wasn’t very good in his healing progress was smoking. Replacing one addiction with another was hardly optimal, but it scratched a certain itch and at least he didn’t black out from smoking a cigarette or two during his breaks. It did sort of sting though smoking, something that never used to do anything for him, now had that little bit of power over him. 

Morgana and Gwen had not been shy in voicing their complaints, especially because they hated how Leon reeked of smoke — he held his tongue when it came to pointing out that Morgana used to sneak smokes as a teenager.

Merlin, the future doctor to be, hadn’t been that thrilled either, recounting the dangers of smoking as if quoting it directly from a textbook (Leon suspected he did). He hadn’t missed the way Arthur looked away when Merlin lectured Leon. In fairness, Arthur wasn’t hearing anything he hadn’t heard before — many of the reasons Merlin relayed to Leon were things that had caused Arthur to stop smoking in the first place.

That didn’t stop him from keeping Leon company when he went out to smoke, nor to smoke one himself every now and again. All things considered, he still had a lot of more self restraint than he used to.

One day as they were standing on Arthur’s balcony, each having a cigarette, Leon couldn’t help but ask: “How’d you quit smoking?”

Arthur, currently taking a long hit, breathing smoke through his nose, gave Leon a funny smile. 

“Ok, yeah, you still sneak a smoke here and there, but going from two packs a day to like three cigarettes a month is still different.”

“No cigarettes a month would probably be better.” Arthur remarked. Typical Arthur, always needing to be perfect. 

Leon rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. How’d you do it?”

“Nicotine patches, gum and a lot of jogging.” 

“Did that stop the cravings?”

At that Arthur laughed, “Not really. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever stop wanting it, you know?” Leon nodded, he did know. “But then I think of Merlin, and Morgana, you… and I remember why I stopped in the first place. I don’t want to intentionally shorten the time I have with my loved ones.” Arthur finished. 

“Who knew Arthur Pendragon could be so eloquent with his words?” He teased.

“You should’ve seen me at my pique, I was a damn poet back then.” 

They both laughed at that.

***

November 

It was a Thursday when it happened. 

Elyan was walking through the park with Percy, the November chill making Percy’s cheeks rosy. They were laughing about something unimportant, hands firmly together when Elyan spotted her.

Jenna was walking in the opposite direction, scarf covering half her face, yet Elyan still recognised her immediately. 

He knew she’d seen him when she stopped walking suddenly and before he knew it he leaned over and whispered to Percy to give him a second before approaching.

“Hi.” He said.

“Hey.”

“How are you?” Elyan immediately regretted initiating small talk. Things hadn’t exactly ended great between him and Jenna, but at the end of the day she was the one who’d broken up with him, he technically didn’t owe her anything. Except he knew that wasn’t entirely true, because she’d warned him about Leon and he’d ignored it. The least he could do was apologise.

“Good. Fine. You?”

“Good.”

They stood there for a bit not saying anything. Jenna swayed on her feet a bit and Elyan picked at his coat. He looked over at Percy who was a few steps behind, giving him a reassuring smile. 

“Look I should probably-”

“I’m sorry.” It came out all hurried, but it made Jenna finally look at him. “I just…” Elyan scratched the back of his head, “I’m sorry for dismissing your warning about Leon, and I’m sorry if I upset you. I never wanted to hurt you and I’m sorry.” The whole apology felt a little awkward, but Elyan couldn’t deny the fact that he’d been really falling for Jenna at one point — still cared for her. It bothered him that they’d ended so badly.

“Elyan…”

“You don’t have to.”

“Look, I get it, okay? I made a lot of excuses for my dad too. I was never mad at you, I just couldn’t go through all of that again. It was never about you.” Here she’d placed her hands reassuringly on Elyan’s shoulders, “Besides, I think it all worked out in the end, wouldn’t you?” She tilted her head towards Percy. When Elyan looked over Percy’s attention was firmly on the ground, pretending as if he was not eavesdropping even though Elyan was fairly certain he was.

“Yeah.” He finally said. “I guess it did.” 

***

December 

Christmas had been a hard time for Leon, especially during the annual Pendragon Christmas Eve brunch. Alcohol was everywhere and his old school mates weren’t as considerate as his other friends when it came to consuming alcohol in his vicinity.

Neither Arthur nor Morgana had drank in solidarity, and Morgana was quick to divert and reflect when the subject of Leon’s sobriety came up.

Then there was the question of his father. Although his mother had been supportive of his sober journey, his relationship to his dad had never been more tense. When Leon arrived home, his dad had greeted him quickly and then shut himself into his study.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I think he just needs some time.” Leon had just nodded awkwardly before escaping outside to smoke. 

Christmas Day brought its new set of challenges. His aunt had bombarded him with questions about rehab without much filter, his mother made a big show of not pouring him any wine and his father spent the day not quite meeting Leon’s eyes. 

Later, when the extended family had left, Leon found himself back on the porch smoking, something he’d been doing a lot since coming home. 

He heard the front door open behind him. He knew it was his dad without even looking. Instead of saying anything he reached out his pack to him, and his dad accepted a cigarette without comment.

They stood there, smoking in silence for a while. Leon wondered who would break first, it was his dad.

“Look, son.” He cleared his throat. “I know I’ve been…” he trailed off, searching for the right word. 

“Awful.” Leon supplied.

“Bit harsh. But perhaps warranted.” More silence. “I just wanted to… I just wanted to say…”

“There’s really no need.”

“Oh, hush boy. Just let me say it… I’m sorry. Ok? For any part I played in you…”

“Becoming an alcoholic?” Leon snorted at this. It wasn’t particularly funny, but the whole conversation felt absurd. “You didn’t make me an alcoholic dad.”

“I’m sure your grandfather's genes didn’t exactly help.”

“Pappy was a drunk?”

“Big time.” For the first time his dad cracked a real smile, but his expression quickly sobered. “It was hard, growing up with a parent who drank and it’s been painful to see my only son go down the same path.”

Leon didn’t know what to say to that. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been more supportive.” Perhaps it was the mulled wine that his dad had sipped on throughout the evening that had made him so honest, or maybe it was the power of Christmas, Leon didn’t know. Whatever it was, his dad had shared something difficult with him and Leon felt he owed him something in return.

Leon threw the stump to the ground, crushing it under his sole. 

“I’m sorry for being such a fuck-up.” It wasn’t necessarily what he’d planned on saying, not at all actually, but it’s how he felt. For an entire year, from quitting his job to falling into addiction and going to rehab. Leon had undoubtedly been spiralling out of control. From a reliable teacher to whoever it was that stood on the porch of his family home right now. 

He felt the tears too late, silently falling from his eyes, unable to stop. 

“Leon…” His father pulled him to his arms, patting him soothingly on his back. It reminded Leon of being a kid, scraping his knee and crying in his fathers arms. He’d had a strained relationship with his dad lately, but somewhere along the way he’d forgotten that the other man actually cared.

He faintly remembered Morgan claiming that Leon’s parents actually loved him. He’d thought it a silly thing to say at the time, but he suddenly realised how he’d genuinely forgotten just how much until that moment.

“I’m sorry dad.” He sputtered out, “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Leon kept crying into his shoulder, while his dad rubbed soothing circles on his back. 

***

Elyan woke up with Percy wrapped around him on New Year’s Eve. Since returning home, the pair had been inseparable. Elyan never thought he’d be the type of person who constantly needed to be around his partner — in fairness, he didn’t need to be, he just wanted to be. 

Percy had a tendency to use Elyan’s chest as a pillow, and Elyan had a tendency to let him. He ran his fingers through the others' hair almost mechanically. Percy just hummed, contentedly.

It felt bizarre to think that it had been a year since he walked away from Percy, determined to get over him — now he couldn’t imagine spending his life without him. The thought was as frightening as it was exciting. 

He could feel Percy waking, stirring slightly. 

“Morning sleepyhead.” He mused. 

“Morning.” Percy leaned up to kiss him, and who was Elyan to deny him?

***

Arthur had offered to host new years again, only this time, Leon would actually remember it. When it had been suggested they skip the alcohol altogether Leon had insisted that he’d be fine. It was hard of course, but it felt silly that everyone should constantly accommodate his every need. 

He needed to learn how to be around alcohol at some point — the rest of the world was not as kind and understanding as his friends after all. 

Despite his request, Arthur had insisted that the only alcohol that would be provided was champagne to ring in the new year, with some alcohol-free sparkling cider for Leon. He was touched.

Turns out there wasn’t really any need for drinking to have a good time anyways. Gwaine was still as loud as ever, telling stories to anyone who’d listen. He’d brought a date with him, who seemed enamoured by his every word. Gwen showed off her engagement ring which Morgana and Freya spent the night cooing over. Lance had proposed on Christmas, he’d come home to meet Gwen and Elyan’s dad and asked for his permission. At least that’s what Elyan had told him. 

They played board games until it got too heated between Arthur and Morgana. To amend this Gwaine had proposed they do some karaoke and followed it up by butchering a Queen song. Morgana had a voice like an angel, something Leon already knew, casting a spell over the entire room. Gwen and Lance did a heartfelt duet that even had Leon emotional. They all did a sing-along to dancing queen by ABBA, where Percy twirled Elyan, making the other laugh out loud in delight. 

When the countdown to midnight started, everyone gathered on Arthur’s balcony so they could watch the fireworks. Glasses had been handed out beforehand, and Leon, the only one who wasn’t coupled up, stood to the side, sipping his sparkling cider prematurely while looking over at his friends while the countdown commenced. 

10, 9

Gwaine was on top of one of Arthur’s deckchairs, which Leon knew Arthur would’ve scolded him for normally. His date looked up at him with glee.

8, 7

Morgana had wrapped a blanket around herself and Freya. Her hair had grown a lot over the year. She’d been in remission for a while and looked healthier for every day that passed. 

6, 5

Lance had not taken his eyes off of Gwen since they’d stepped outside. Leon had a sneaking suspicion that the other man was determined to have Gwen be the first thing he looked at in the new year. 

4, 3

Kara had a party popper in her hand that she was ready to set off any second. Leon didn’t miss Mordred’s glare. 

2

Merlin’s head rested on Arthur’s shoulder, hugging him tightly to him. Seeing Arthur being able to so freely show affection towards Merlin while sober was a huge step for him, and Leon couldn’t help the swelling of pride he felt at the display. 

1

Percy had barely left Elyan’s side since they had arrived. He was jumping gleefully during the countdown while Elyan looked on with what could only be described as a fond expression.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Kara popped the party popper, laughing in delight at Mordred’s little jump before attaching her lips to his. All of his friends shared kisses with their partners, and although Leon had no desire to kiss anyone, it felt a little awkward being the only single one around. Last year he’d masked it well with alcohol and Gwaine keeping him company. This year was a different story entirely. 

It didn’t take long however until hugs and well wishes for the new year were passed around the group. Elyan had given him an extra long hug for good measure, staying by Leon’s side to watch the fireworks.

He clung to Leon’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder. Leon glanced over at Percy who was leading an off-pitch version of Auld Lang Syne with Gwaine as the conductor.

“I feel like I’m stealing you away from your man.” He joked sheepishly.

Elyan rolled his eyes. “Don’t be silly, he may be my boyfriend but you’ll always be my Leon. Some would argue that’s even more important.” 

Leon wrapped his fingers around Elyan’s without much thought, Elyan’s head still firmly on his shoulder. It felt silly to be so touched by Elyan’s words, but he  undeniably had been anyway. He always knew he could count on Elyan, even if he had been a little wrapped up in Percy recently. Leon understood that it came with being in a new relationship. Yet there they were, Elyan coupled up and still by Leon’s side anyways, making sure he didn’t feel left out reassured him that whatever would come to be, he could be okay in the end. 

The end.