Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Minji shrugs off her uniform. Sinks into the sofa and releases a sigh. A 14-hr shift was just not it. The children’s ward was flooded with kids who suffered from inhalation of toxic gases. So Minji was kept on her toes with having to ensure the number of deaths were below 10. Feet aching she slips off her shoes and tends to them.

‘I’ve got you.’ Dami whispers. Soaking in her girlfriends existence, Minji melts into her frame happy to be home. Dami always knew what to do to relieve her stress. Drew warm baths filled with bubbles to bring out Minji’s inner child, cooked Minji’s favourite food on the especially tough days, and prepared playlists to brighten Minji’s mood on the weekend.

‘I know you do. And always will.’ Minji leans out of her comfortable state to kiss Dami’s temple. She sinks back in, and lets out a yawn. She accidently brushes Dami’s neck with her hair, startling her and laughs at the gasp Dami lets out.

All November Minji stays at the hospital, hours on end. Dami stays at home, hours on end. Waiting for the door to open. To catch so much of a glimpse of her expectedly tired girlfriend. Aching all over, wanting to be consumed by her smell and touch. But the hours turn into days. Dami sees less of Minji than she likes. She remains optimistic. It’s just work. She repeats. The mantra fades as she sits in the kitchen, food prepared to butter Minji out of her expected miserable state. Except there is no Minji. Only remnants of her being. Clothes left folded for months now. Her favourite cup left squeaky clean. Her favourite shoes still polished, waiting for the allotted feet to fill them. It had been long since she was home. Months since she spoke to her, saw her face, held her in her arms. Months since she said she loved her. The recording she left before she went was still played. Pausing and crackling on their old cassette player. Dami didn’t want to throw it out as it held so much memories. Minji’s last words were ‘I’ll see you later.’ So every day, Dami prepares each morning like the day she last saw Minji, hoping to answer, ‘Welcome back home.’

Chapter Text

‘But I don’t want to go alone.’ Handong pleads to the crew, pushing her lower lip out.

She stares at them as the other members pair off, leaving her to face the haunted hallways alone.

‘I’m sure you don’t have to go alone, right?’ Siyeon adds.

‘Yeah, if you’re really scared take someone with you.’ Gahyeon suggests.

‘Yh not me though, I’m good.’ Yoohyeon, who’s paired with Siyeon states, grasps onto her.

After the first teams returns, screaming with a mix of horror and pleasure, realization sinks in. It’s Handong’s turn.

Dejectedly she gets up, before setting off, she says: life’s about living alone.

She persuades the team but not herself. With her hands shaking, she sets off.

Waving once, then twice to them she stops at the end of the hallways, deciphering how in the hell she was going to do this.

‘She’s still here.’ She hears Dami laugh out, sending the rest of the group into fits of laughter. She too joins trying to hide her fear.

She picks a room and sets off. It’s the wrong choice. She knows this now. As she’s cruising down the hall, she encounters a ghost. A runway. Much like its name, after a brief encounter it scurries off, Handong calls after it ‘don’t leave.’ She should feel shame, begging for a ghost to stay but she’d rather be with the enemy than alone.

Reaching the second level, she knows from the map she’s almost there. But not quite. The empty, dark hall brings confusion. This is the right hall, isn’t it? As she thinks out loud, a breeze passes followed by an eerie sound. Fact or not she shrinks and shivers.

'I can’t do this!' She shouts, to whom she doesn’t know.

That’s it, I’ve had enough. She concludes. Fuck the storage room.

With that, she goes to the stairwell and seeks out help.

‘Members!’

‘Yes?’ She hears a response, by who, she doesn’t know. She’s far too busy checking over her shoulders.

‘I can’t do this!’ She echoes out.

‘Are you okay, are you far?’ She recognises Sua’s voice ask.

‘Can I come back? ‘

‘Yes. Come we’re waiting.’ Dami responds.

Handong yells in satisfaction, leaving behind the disturbing corridor as it was. She jumps down two steps at a time until she sees Dami at the end of the stairwell.

With her hands out, Dami waits to welcome her.

Handing is now running towards her, can’t wait to reach safety, a ways from the grey atmosphere and into protection. Into the comfort of her members hold. As she reaches, she hears Dami console her with ‘you did great, that was amazing.’

She knows Dami wants to say more, do more but she settles for a small hug. Albeit it’s small, it manages to console her bringing fright. She sighs into the hold whilst looking bashfully at the other members.

Stopping in front of the other members, she confesses that she is scared but the crew tell her she must complete the mission, with or without help. She gleams at their response happy to receive assistance.

‘Go with Sua and Dami.’ Yoohyeon says. Satisfied with sitting this one out. The hallway looked freaking scary. Accompanying her frightened friend was a hard pass. She felt for her, they all did but it was not her turn. Plus, Dami and Sua had already been. What harm could a second round do?

‘Okay. Let’s go.’ Sua jumps up, holding her hands out for Dami and Handong to take. She had noticed Dami’s hand shaking.

They set off after ‘good lucks’ were said.

‘Was it really that bad?’ Sua asks now out of ear shot of the other members.

‘Yes, fuck yes it was terrible alone.’ Handong responds, eyes wide.

‘Let’s go, we’ll go to the ward instead. It’s nearer.’ Dami concludes.

The hall was yet again scary but Handong was with two other people this time so she was less afraid. With Sua in front, she felt safer. Both her and Dami were scared so Sua’s presence surprisingly brought calm to the chaos.

Before entering the room, Sua kicks the door open and Dami halts anyone from entering. Like the big brain she is, she rears the camera they are sharing to peer inside the room.

That’s my girl. Handong thinks in awe.

Entering, right away Dami shields her eyes, not wanting to be spooked more than she has been. Handong and Sua decipher which of the three bodies under the covers are human and not.

They see a case under a real person and dash for it. With Dami near the exit door, Handong and Sua take turns trying to obtain the box.

Handong reaches forward and jerks her hand back every 2 seconds, sending Sua laughing at her.

‘What are you doing Dongie?’ At a time like this, Handong still blushes from the nickname and shifts so Sua can try. She’s successful and they make a break for the door.

But it’s not the right box so they’re yet again in the creepy room. They all search throughout the ward for the box at the cabinets. Not found, Handong moves on but Sua still remains.

After thrashing them open one by one, she finds it and opens without prompt. She yells in victory and the three dash out once more. Nearing the end of the hallway, Handong turns to the two:

‘Thanks, for coming with me. I was scared shitless on my own.’

‘Yeah, no shit, with the way you screamed and all.’ Dami hits Sua’s shoulders, Handong waves her off.

‘And it was your second time.’ Handong adds, looking down at her feet.

‘Doesn’t matter, you needed us and we came.’ Dami adds.

Handong smiles bashfully at that.

‘My heroes.’

She leans into kiss Dami’s temple before whispering; ‘You were so brave, I’m so glad that I shared this experience with you.’ Leaning back Dami whines but smiles in response.

Sua kisses Handong’s lips when they break and moans at the loss.

‘We’ll always protect you babe.’ Sua finishes. Handong squeezes her free hand and they begin to walk back to the rest of the group.

Chapter Text

The shoes perfectly aligned at the foot of the door contrasted the atmosphere within. Siyeon and Yoohyeon were at it again. The hushed voices contained so much vim. Each word punched the person it was directed at. It was safe to say they would eventually break up. A year after claiming themselves the title of girlfriends, the smooth sail they set course on soon became rocky. The rocks blocking their paths were in the guise of Siyeon’s ex Handong. She had been spending time over at their house more often. Especially when Yoohyeon was not there. There to sit guard. Tame the unwanted addition.

She trusted Siyeon (blindly) as Handong was all but sweet. A snake shedding its skin when it pleased. Hissing away any potential threats to the proclaimed love of her life. But it was her fault they broke up. The excessive calls, the monitoring of texts and bruises in conveniently discreet places. Siyeon finally found solace in Yoohyeon one night in a bar and stayed by her side since. But having Handong’s number still stored on her phone created more trouble than needed. One single text of 'hey', sent the two girlfriends receiving unprecedented visits. Handong was a stranger to Yoohyeon. Like a snake to a monkey. The two didn’t mix but shared one thing in common. It hurt that Siyeon still spoke to her. Still needed her.

Yoohyeon should’ve known when she pleaded to have Handong’s number deleted for good that this day would come. Yoohyeon packing Siyeon’s bags. Shoving them at her now ex-girlfriend before having a final fit as to why they both deserved better. Siyeon knew it and Handong did too but having a taste of something so sweet that even when it turns bitter the memory of its sweetness remains, creates an illusion where you think everything is fine, will be ok but over time the taste becomes unbearable. The memories conjured up overlaps with reality and eventually it's too late to withdraw. The fight between the real and fictitious is continuous until you choose one side. Siyeon chose Handong and would have to life with that.

Yoohyeon will move on, strength is her strong suit and she’ll gladly wear that armour to mask the pain the year with Siyeon had been. Handong will dance in delight. Yoohyeon will hope Siyeon’s misconstrued reality will break. Hopes the looking glass will no longer sell her lies. She’ll still be there for her. On the other side of the glass. Praying she comes to her senses. So that they’ll go back to the first time they met. Yoohyeon busily bussing tables down and Siyeon ringing up a bill. From co workers to friends to lovers. Siyeon’s bruises gradually fading away and Yoohyeon opening up her heart more. If she has to wait for a moment like that again, Yoohyeon gladly will. Because Siyeon is and was worth it.

Chapter Text

Siyeon wasn’t very vocal. Like at all. She stored her emotions deep within her. Did not allow a single stone thrown her way to crack at her perfectly polished shell. When people made her angry, upset or confused, she just kept the bubbles brewing at bay. Provocation ran deep in her veins. Poking away, mirroring a needle attempting to extract blood. All her life she had grown up hearing assumed whispers bounce around the walls of her ears, before dipping directly into them. Tearing away, scraping and scratching yet Siyeon doesn’t let up. Doesn’t let the ill words overtake her calm. She knows that if she finally gives out, she’ll be left with nothing.

The tiny spec of dignity she manages to mould every night whilst sucking in the tears that attempt to fall on her flushed cheeks, begin to shape into something she’s never seen before. It provides her a sanctuary where she can discover a new side of herself. One beyond all the insults casted her way, a place where she doesn’t have to put on a strong front in front of her abusers. Some people sit back and watch all the malice enter her body to never leave. Faint smiles of fake support are visible. They does nothing to lessen the pain. She closes off the weak sustenance, wants the bad words to cement in her body, to us it against them one day when she finally explodes. Creating a mass of destruction she’s carefully structured. Maybe then they’ll understand that words hurt exponentially. That certain things shouldn’t be uttered. That the heart we are given at birth only beats for so long.

Her illusioned mould comes to life in the form a particular individual. Handong. Siyeon knows she’s of her stem. Believes she created her specifically for herself. There can’t be any other reason as to why she’s being dotted with love and affection only at night-time. The affection comes quietly at a dedicated window. One Siyeon grasps and never lets go of. Handong in all her glory is a 5’6 women of pure perfection. (At least conveying all the perfection Siyeon conjured up.) Her way of words sweeten Siyeon’s heart, provides her with content until the next morning. The structure they make, doesn’t fail. Siyeon shines brighter than ever before. Handong notices it and with each passing day, her begins presence dims. Siyeon’s notices her perfect mould lessening, she soon feels hollow at the centre of her heart. She never noticed how the hurt penetrated through. Made a hole so deep that it appeared on the other side. A bullet soaring through, it should kill her but Handong steers her away from those looming thoughts. Handong holds on a bit longer promising to be back when Siyeon is again at her lowest.

Chapter Text

Jiu was searching aimlessly in the room. Her eyes had not yet been accustomed to the darkness so she had to go in blind. It didn’t help that her eyesight was shit so here she was at 1 am, with no working lightbulb looking for her girlfriend.

She saw her wonder in 5 minutes before the light seized. Damn the government for being stingy with what’s rightfully theirs. They pay bills for a reason.

‘I know you’re here. Have pity on me pls. You know I’m blind as fuck.’ Jiu hears a snort but can’t make out what direction is came from. Damn her horrible hearing too, she’s not losing sense there, it’s just that it has always been shit.

‘You’re seriously making me work here yk. I’ve got severe back problems for a 25-year-old.’

‘That’s your own babe. I’m not asking you to get older.’

The more Handong responded the easier it was to find her. Trying one last time,

‘I think Sua and Siyeon are planning on adopting.’

‘What! How come you’re only telling me this now.’ Jiu sees movement again, coming from their closet. So she inches forward, hands flailing.

She successfully reaches her target. Before opening the conveniently placed suitcase, she whispers,

‘You’ve got to get better at keeping quiet. You’re so shit at hide and seek.’

Chapter Text

Arriving home in a slump, Sua is met with eager eyes and deep pants from Lucky their 3-year-old Sheba. Who as soon as Sua stepped indoors, pounced up and attacked her. Whilst Joker their 2-year-old Husky snores in the corner. Throwing her clothes and briefcase in one corner she settles on the sofa in only her boxers and bra. It was too damn hot in London and with the weather being temperamental she can’t help but curse as when she had been having a fit whilst stuffing her folders into her case ready to leave the office earlier, it had been raining but as soon as she steps in doors the temperature rises beyond belief.

‘Hey baby. How was your day?’ Enters Yoohyeon, making her way to massage Sua’s shoulders.

Sighing she relishes in the much-needed affection before starting to respond.

‘Fucking shit. You would not believe what happened. I was bloody made team manager!’ Sua huffs out sinking in deeper to her girlfriend.

‘Can’t believe how long you managed to avoid that.’ Yoohyeon laughs giving her a kiss on her head.

Sua leans in for another, this time on her temple and it sends her melting into Yoohyeon. Yoohyeon pulls on her shoulders and manoeuvres her arms around her waist squeezing occasionally. In silence, Sua relishes the moment.

She loves how Yoohyeon knows just what to do. She stopped asking a long time ago and took initiative.

Thinking back, tears start to fall. Indication of her sadness is only shown when she begins to shudder under the now cold touch. Stupid weather. Drawing her up, Yoohyeon scans her eyes in pain, mirroring the emotion Sua whole body exhibits. She bites back her lips, gets up and returns moments later with ice tea. Only then can she see the pain being replaced with relief. Sua scoffs down the tea in no time and peers up to her loving girlfriend.

‘You always know what to do.’

‘I’d think so, we’ve been together for 4 years now. We know everything about you and then some.’

‘Yes, you guys do. Wait where’s Dami, isn’t it her day off?’ Sua had been so preoccupied with the stress of her job she had forgotten the absence of her other girlfriend. On days like this she needed the both of them and always managed to block out everything- including her girlfriends.

Her eyes immediately went searching around the room looking for any indication of Dami being about but Yoohyeon soothed her search.

‘She’s at the doctors remember, for her check-up.’ Visibly cooled down Sua sinks into her anchor once more. She has got to stay up to date more.

Laughing at her change of demeanour Yoohyeon pushes her back and leaps in her lap. Smothers her with kisses but stops as soon as she sees tears fall. Sua being so emotional after hectic days at work only heightens whenever she forgets something important about her girlfriends.

‘Sorry baby. Can’t believe how emotional you still get,’ She kisses her one last time and jumps off to open the door for Dami. Huffs and puffs were heard behind the door and Yoohyeon’s six sense was ready for action.

Upon opening the door, Dami drops the groceries directly at the door and jumps into her girlfriends open arms. Resting her head on her bony yet soothing shoulders she begins kissing it trailing towards her lips. Stopping just at the corner of her mouth. With a grin she leaps off, having successfully left Yoohyeon flustered. She makes her way over to Sua and pulls her directly to their bedroom. She saw her emotionless expression as soon as she had entered their apartment.

‘I’m guessing work was shit again.’ Dami states, Sua had been complaining the 2nd week after she had started working and it only got worse from then. Not wanting to quit as money was already hard to find, seeing as Yoohyeon had just finished uni and Dami worked at a coffee store. Sua was the only one bringing in enough money to use towards the bills. Dami’s funds were towards other expenses and Yoohyeon just there for the ride.

Nodding along, she sighs deeply into Dami’s chest. Absorbing all the warmth she inhabits. Intaking all the coffee she could almost getting high from it.

The door creaks and light shows itself from the small crack in the door. Yoohyeon stumbles in with a makeshift lunch and some juice cups. She’s not the youngest of the three yet she loved to behave like one.

‘These are for later. When we can’t be bothered to get up and make food. You guys know my cooking skills are abysmal but it comes from the heart so you best eat it.’ Yoohyeon smirks and blushes making her way to her girlfriends and hides behind Dami’s back. She reaches one arm to snake around Sua’s waist and pulls her in. The other stroking Dami’s hair.

‘You guys are so bloody cold.’ Dami whispers, can only whisper as she’s now being hassled by the two women. Sua’s hands trail inside her shirt, Yoohyeon’s arm brushing along her waist. She’s squeezed in the middle of them and although she’s complaining out loud, inside she’s more than thrilled to be squashed as tightly as possible. More time she’s on the edge and the walls are always cold. So for once she’s happy about the change.

‘But you love it. We’re cold and your warm. The perfect contrast.’

‘Ok English specialist. Let’s sleep. I have a massive headache and I feel like shit for a number of reasons.’ About to ask why, Sua cuts Dami off.

‘I’ll explain when we wake up.’

Snuggling in once more Yoohyeon is the first to doze off. She’s no longer scraping her nails along Sua’s back and her breathing had gone irregular on Dami’s neck. Soon follows Sua. Drool had started forming and it was only a matter of time before it settled on Dami’s shirt.

Dami’s kisses Sua’s forehead as if to rid all of her stress. An attempt to vanquish all the pain she has to endure after her dreadful day at work. Then she licks Yoohyoen’s forearm and seeing her squirm makes her grin in contempt. Following her girlfriends into slumber she prays they all wake up having no more major issues.

Chapter Text

‘We’re leaving now. See you soon!’ Siyeon shouts before her and Sua set off for the day, leaving behind Dami and Yoohyeon.

Remaining girls have the house to themselves and made plans on what they could do to fill the day. Watching movies was at the top of the list.

Dami ventures to the kitchen in hopes of successfully making a presentable breakfast.

Yoohyeon stays in bed.

She stays in bed past the normal time she’s usually up at.

‘Are you still in bed?’ Dami shouts once she digs into her own portion of food.

She doesn’t get a response. She’s not too bothered, Yoohyeon hardly answers on the first call, so she tries again.

‘I made breakfast, come eat!’

She gets up annoyed at having to leave the comfortable couch she settled into. She planned on throwing a pillow straight at Yoohyeon’s body but after opening the door, she sees a contorted look on her face.

It’s all scrunched up, like she’s in pain?

Dami rushes to her and stops at the side of the bed. She pokes her way up. From her legs to stomach. As soon as her finger settles on the surface of Yoohyeon’s tummy she sees her squirm in discomfort.

‘Stop. It hurts.’ Yoohyeon grumbles into her pillow.

‘Why? What’s wrong?’

She doesn’t get a verbal response rather a stern look: what do you think.

Realization sinking in, she rushes to hug her but before she can envelope her, she’s pushed away.

‘You’ll only make it worse. For the past 30 minutes I’ve been trying to find a comfortable sitting. I only just found it please stop.’

Dami understands, so she’s not too upset that she can’t comfort her friend. On her own days she hates so much as seeing someone. She knows they’ll try to initiate a conversation, and her weakened body can’t take that.

‘Ok, well I’ll bring the breakfast in here then. I already ate, I got tired of waiting.’

Thrown a thumbs up, she comes back with a full English breakfast before leaving again.

Around two hours later Dami comes back stumbling around. She’s not much of a drinker, especially during the day but even she knows she looks weird.

She’s failing to balance a lot of assorted items: fizzy drinks, chocolate, sweets, magazines and crisps and water. Things she’s sure Yoohyeon has mentioned she likes.

She dumps them on the abandoned couch and sorts through them. Lining them up on a tray she trudges to Yoohyeon’s room.

Seeing her in disarray upsets Dami. Period pains are the worst things invented. She swaps the breakfast tray for the new one and gently wakes Yoohyeon up.

‘I got you some stuff to eat whenever you feel like it. Please eat, you’re already skinny, I don’t want to come back in a couple of hours to see bones.’ Yoohyeon smiles at that but doesn’t shake.

‘I’ll try, just if I sit up, I don’t think eating will be the number one problem.’

At that, Dami slowly slides over a bowl from the breakfast tray and taps it: just in case.

They both laugh quietly and Dami sees it as her cue to leave Yoohyeon alone.

‘Thanks for checking up on me. I know you were looking forward to watching movies, my body is just too weak for that.’

‘No worries, your health is top priority. Just eat and try to get some air.’

‘Love you.’

‘Ew. But I love you too I guess,’ Dami responds after scrunching up her face. Walking out she sends a smile to the dozing off girl.

Chapter Text

She’s running and I’m chasing her. Well attempting to. My feet are fighting against my body, running becomes a tricky task. Normally I’d run and run until my legs give out. I love the sensation of chasing or being chased. Like the one time I got ready late and had to run for the bus. I caught it mind you.

But it’s not like that, my legs aren’t functioning like I want them too. Like I need them too. She’s only getting further away, out of arms reach and there’s nothing I can do to stop her. So I give up. Halt my motions on the clay like floor. Let my body sink into it, swallow me whole. I don’t lose my breath, I breath easily and soak in what I can. The emptiness.

I’m back again, chasing this woman. This time she’s nearer like she’s stopped running an instead jogging? My feet don’t ask for permission anymore. They take it one step at a time. Left then right, arching onward. I’m still not close but I’m satisfied with the pace we’re both at. I’ll reach her in no time. Except I don’t. The floor changes again. This time it’s filled with fire but I do not flinch back. I let my legs melt away into the flames around me. I’m certain I’ll be back.

She’s walking now, so am I. If I reach out my hands, I’ll successfully touch her shoulder. But do I want to? It’s my third attempt trying to get to her but I don’t know what for. Am I really meant to stop this long task from
happening again? She stops herself, I bump into her, expect I don’t. My body moves right through her. I don’t know who the ghost is between us. But passing through sends a wind through me, so I know my body is still mine.

  ‘It seemed hard to reach me, so I saved you the trouble’ she says. I want to laugh at that.
She could’ve done so before I melted away before I sank into the floor.

  ‘I’m glad you did.’ She smiles, bearing all her teeth and a dimple. I’m drawn to it and for once my body’s working with my brain, I reach for it and like a key to a lock we connect.

My feet don’t give way to any element. My body is not arguing. I manage to turn to my left and see someone laying beside me. A woman. The woman from my dreams. She’s clinging onto me like her life depends on it. But a sweep of the room tells me I’m the one swinging on loose ropes. I want to move closer but wires stop me, so I just opt to stare at the dimple I’d seen before.

  ‘Yoohyeon, your hair smells.’ I rouse her from sleep. She stirs and smiles, I mirror her.

  ‘I’m so glad you’re back.’ I hum contently, not lost in thought but in her.

  ‘You brought me back.’

  ‘And I’ll keep on doing so, you’re literally stuck with me.’ She proves so by signalling to our joined hands.

I smile and snuggle into her. ‘But seriously when was the last time you washed your hair?’