Archive of Our Own ^beta

Techno paces.

He likes doing that, he thinks, pacing. The word is nice, it sounds good as he says it, walking in circles in his cottage. Pacing, pacing, pacing. It sounds nice, and then it sounds horrible, and Techno shakes his head, ignoring the full body shudder that goes through him, as if to shake away the word, to get rid of the sudden sensation that word left on his brain.

Today has been… Bad, Techno is hesitant to classify, and ponders over the word a couple minutes, as he walks in circles, the motion somewhat satisfying. It didn't feel good today, not really. He had forgotten to leave brewing overnight his medication, and he had woken up to empty bottles, so that had been a bad start to begin with. His meds take a long time in making, and while he has perfected as much as he could the recipe, he knows that if he tries to rush it, it will only end in disaster, so he would probably have to spend the next week or so without his meds, the information only making his mood dampen even more. And, to make matters worse, he couldn’t eat breakfast.  It wasn’t for a lack of trying, not really, but he had stared at his pantry and everything he looked at didn’t look good, and left him feeling vaguely numb. 

He had run out of his safe foods, and forgotten to restock them, so everything he had left was food that needed to be prepared, a process he didn’t want to do, and so, he skipped breakfast.And then, as if to make matters worse, he couldn’t find his clothes for inside the house. Chat, at that moment, was already up and about and had spent the next hours either mocking him or offering solutions, that while appreciated, didn’t really help.

The day had worse onwards, as Techno found himself bored out of his mind, incapable of opening any of his books, not being able to process a single line that he tried to read until he had the biggest headache in his life, frustration rising and rising like the pressure on a kettle. Lunch had been the same as breakfast, and while he knew Phil had food around, it felt weird to simply waltz in and take it, the mere idea leaving him huffing in semi-distress. He felt fatigued, and tired, but he didn’t feel like sleeping, so he had spent the afternoon moving around his house, trying to find something to entertain himself with.

His pets, that normally on any other day would brighten him up, made him feel irritated. The constant noises burrowed under his skin, alive and writhing and leaving him vaguely uncomfortable and frustrated, barely able to hold onto his feelings. Techno wasn’t arrogant, he knew he needed help, and he knew Phil or, hell, even Ranboo would be happy to, but it felt like too much and too little, the idea of speaking to them made him nauseous and the mere notion that, in the very very improbable occasion, they refused left him feeling ill, hands almost wanting to shake, as he twisted them until he could feel the physical tug of the joint at being moved, just a tad shy of being painful, before he let go and twisted the other way, and repeat.

Techno wasn’t blind, he had these types of days before, but he didn’t know why he couldn’t do anything today. He knew what he should do, he knew what steps to take, and yet, he procrastinated all day, until he was left feeling absolutely awful. He entertained the idea of going to Phil, the blond probably done already with his projects and mostly resting around, but the idea of seeing anyone, of talking, made him bite his tongue, knowing he didn’t want to talk with anyone.

Phil was understanding, and he knew what to do when Techno didn’t know what to do with himself, the two having learned to know the other from years of living together and decades of being friends, but Techno knew he wasn’t good company in these moments to have, knowing himself, if he visited Phil, he would end up snapping at his friend, something he would surely regret later even if the blond didn’t hold it against him.

He growled frustrated and stopped walking, standing in the middle of the room, and trying to ignore how he felt as if his skin was buzzing off, uncomfortable as hell. He felt weird, unbalanced, and closing and opened his hands tightly, trying to focus on the pressure of his nails against his skin instead of the way everything felt both overwhelming and underwhelming, a bizarre combination that was starting to drive him insane.

He bit his lips, and shook his leg, as he tried to think of what he could do. 

He turned sharp, and climbed up his ladder, getting into his room. He went directly to the end of the room, and moved the bookcase around, ignoring the barrel above his head. He pressed his fingers in, and grinned at the sight of the false panelling finally coming loose. Carefully, Techno took what was inside the hidden compartment, leaving everything back in his place. He wasn’t one to indulge, and he normally preferred his human form, as it made it easier to interact with everything around him, but he thinks that today deserves it. He flicks his skin out, watching the coarse pink fur unrfold and dusting it off.

His skin looks in good condition, and he nods satisfied, letting the movement rock him a little as he stares at it, focusing on the sensation of the fur under his hands rather than the million noises that were outside. He carefully wrapped it around him and sighed, feeling the sensation of skin becoming real attached skin once again. He flexed his hands, watching the now blac hooves and nodded satisfied before whistling softly, jumping in bed and ignoring the groans of the ladder creaking under the sudden weight of a Polar Bear climbing it.

Steve, the good bear he was, instantly knew what to do, shuffling onto the giant bed and curling up around Techno, sniffing him for a few seconds before, seemingly satisfied, fell asleep. Steve’s fur was as soft as always, and Techno leaned into him, pink furry tail flicking happily behind him as he shuffled until he felt satisfied, Steve head’s a grounding weight on his back, as he curled close to the polar bear, hands closing and opening around the white fur, enjoying the sensation.

Techno doesn’t know how long he spends like this, curled tightly against his pet, focused entirely on the sensation of the bear’s fur against his pink and coarse fur, but what he does know is that he focuses back on reality at the sound of someone climbing up his ladder, ear flicking to the side a few times as he groggily sits up, watching the kind face of Phil come into view.

The blond looks at him, probably noting the way the bed is disorganized and messy and how Techno had shifted back into his piglin form, but he blessedly says nothing, leaving down the stairs once again. Techno waits, knowing the other as good as he does, Phil will be back in a second, and he moves around, making a space for his friend.

And as he predicted, Phil comes back, carrying a covered bowl under his arm as he climbs. He slides into the bed next to him, throwing a wing over his shoulders as he offers him silently the bowl. A quick sniff confirms his theory, and Techno bites into the warm potato bread, resting his weight against his friend. Phil takes a piece of bread for himself, and they eat in silence, Techno noticing distantly he was really hungry before the empty bowl is whisked away and deposited on the floor.

Techno wants to say that it will dirty the room, but he doesn’t feel like talking today, not right now, so he simply shuffles and rest against Steve, letting the weight of Phil’s giant wing around him ground him, his old friend shuffling closer until they are cuddled up together, just like old times, when Techno hadn’t figured out exactly how to balance what he knew, what to do, burning himself out until he crashed for weeks.

“I left the mix solidifying,” Phil comments, as he gently pets through the shaggy mane Techno has in this form, instantly making the piglin rumble and relax “Tomorrow we can probably put it on the brewing stand.”

He frowns and wants to say that he didn’t have to, but he simply curls tighter against the other, knowing already how his friend would dispute it, and appreciating how Phil knew him.

“You could have told me,” Phil nags him, but it is lighthearted and Techno huffs, nudging the other half heartedly, who laughs and lets their heads rest together “I know, I know.”

The blond yawns, and Techno realizes how tired he feels, exhausted already. The two manage to cover themselves with the blanket, Techno sighs, tail thumping happily against the blankets. Tomorrow it will be another day, another work, but for now, he thinks he can enjoy this. He knows Phil will be there tomorrow, and that alone is enough to make it all seem better.

The day doesn’t end with a bang or a whimper, but a sleepy huff as the two friends drift off, the polar bear a grounding weight. No one has any nightmares, and the arctic moon reigns over the silence.

It is a good night.