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Tian has spent too many days waking up in hospitals, he decides when his eyes blink open and he realizes where he is.

The room is small and there is only one other bed, currently unoccupied, to his left. A wheezing air conditioner chases some of the heat away but Tian's hair is still sticking to his skin. An IV-needle is taped to his hand, leading up to the translucent bag hanging overhead. He stares at it forlornly.

Someone is scribbling beside him. The pen scratches rough lines on the rustling paper. A sigh. A sniff. Slurping, and the sound of a cup being placed back.

Tian slowly turns his head around.

Dr. Nam is bent over his desk, concentrating on a folder. Occasionally he looks up to squint at the old monitor in front of him. Tian watches him as the fog clears out of his brain. He glances at the nightstand and sees a glass of water, covered with a plate. His throat promptly runs dry and begins to itch.

His attempts at breathing through the itch fail as he begins to cough. He splutters, trying to suck in enough air to stay away while also attempting to keep his lungs inside. Nam is at his side in an instant, having jumped up at the first rasp.

Once Tian is sitting up and the coughing fades away, Nam holds the glass in front of his nose, letting Tian lean against him, one arm around his shoulders to keep him steady. Tian takes small sips and sighs as the coolness slides down his throat. Little black spots dance in front of his eyes and he feels like a sick child again.

“Better?” Nam asks above him, deciding that Tian has had enough water. Tian nods and tries to sit up on his own. He manages to slump somewhat straight against the pillow Nam helpfully props up behind his back, and sighs.

“Thank you.” Tian's voice is rough and soft, but Nam ruffles his hair.

“That's what they pay me for.” he replies with a wink.

The doctor sits down and looks at Tian expectantly. It reminds him too much of his teachers who always held hope that at least one of their students had read the assigned chapter for that day.

“What happened?” Tian tries.

Nam smiles, "You had a heart attack.”

Tian's mouth opens and closes a couple of times. Nam is still smiling at him. Tian swallows,

“O-oh...”

Nam nods encouragingly. Tian feels cold sweat form on the back of his neck. He has been here almost two months, but he has seen enough of the doctor to know that this is not his real smile. Nam is angry. Very angry. Tian casts a discreet look around. They are alone, no rangers, no villagers.

No witnesses.

“I- euh-” he stumbles on his words, trying to find a subject, "the kids? How are they?”

Nam sighs, eyes softening a fraction, "The kids are fine. They spend the whole night making drawings for you."

He points at a stack of papers on his desks. Tian feels his chest flood with warmth, chasing away a portion of the ache that has built there since he arrived.

“Phu brought them over this morning.”

Tian's eyes flicker to Nam, "Chief did?”

Nam nods. Tian's mouth feels dry."Who brought me here?”

“Phu.” Nam says."Carried you here on his back.”

Of course he did. Tian gives Nam his kindest smile."Eh Doc?”

“Yes, Tian?”

Tian wonders if crying will help his case."Is there something wr-” I'm in a hospital. Of course there is something wrong.

Tian bites his tongue and looks away. The clock on the wall ticks obnoxiously loud. At the thirteenth tick, Nam reaches into his coat's pocket and retrieves a white bottle. Tian feels the color drain out of his face when Nam places it on his lap.

“Immunosuppressants.” Nam's smile fades so quickly, Tian wonders if he had imagined it."You had a heart-transplant, didn't you?”

Tian nods, guilty."But I told Chief that-“

“You had a heart surgery, " Nam finishes his sentence, "I know. He told me that when you arrived here.”

Tian doesn't dare to look at him. Nam leans closer, "Tian. Those are two very different surgeries. If Longtae hadn't found your medicine, then I could have given you the wrong treatment. You could have died!”

Tian flinches."Longtae-”

“He only brought the bottle, he doesn't know what it means.” Nam snaps impatiently, as if he read Tian's mind. Tian sighs in relief, hand coming up to rub his chest. Nam's hand lands on his wrist.

“How many years has it been?” he asks while counting his pulse.

Oh boy. Tian winces and peeks up through his lashes, "Five months?”

Nam's hand twitches. He closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them again, he looks remarkably calm, "Tian. I say this as a professional: what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Eh-” Tian manages. Nam lets his wrist go and instead pins Tian against the pillow by his shoulder.

“You just had a heart-transplant and you came here to a tiny village with only one doctor and barely enough internet to even contact others?”

He shakes the bottle. It makes no sound.

“And you're out of pills too! And what about your doctor in Bangkok? You are supposed to be monitored by them!” Nam stares at him as if only his medical license is keeping him from strangling Tian here and now.

“I- I have a reason.” Tian says."I need to do something before I can leave.”

“What reason?” Nam demands, "Tell me everything or I swear I will personally drive you back to Bangkok.”

Tian shifts."I... I just need to do something. Alone. Please Doc. don't make me go.”

If he leaves now it will all be for naught. He hasn't done enough yet, and hasn't fulfilled Torfun's wishes. Tian feels tears prick behind his eyes. The guilt gnaws at him.

“Tian, " Nam starts, "don't make me tell Phu about this.”

Tian's head snaps up, eyes wide, "No, don't. Please! I just can't go back. Not yet at least.”

“Then tell me everything.” Nam sits back down with his arms crossed. Tian bites his lip. He's trapped.

“Tian?” Nam raises his eyebrow when the silence goes on for too long.

Tian looks away, wringing the blanket between his hands."I- eh.”

He feels a hand on his leg, grounding him. Nam's face is warm again, eyes concerned, "I just need to know why I should let you continue to risk your life.”

My life isn't worth that much . Tian wants to tell him but that won't do him any good. He digs his nails in his palm, trying to keep himself from trembling.

Would Nam hate him?

Duh, he knew Torfun.

Would he kick him out?

Probably. Why would he want me around? He'll tell the Chief and then everyone will know and I'll have to leave.

But Tian wants to say it. His deep, dark secret is threatening to spill from his lips. All those kind words and smiles, those moments where the villagers completely accepted him. He doesn't deserve those. He deserves angry glares and harsh words, even if they hurt.

“Tian?”

It takes a moment for Tian to realize that Nam is rubbing his arms, staring at him with naked concern and kindness radiating off him. Tian's expression crumbles. Big, fat tears roll down his cheeks. Nam's eyes widen in surprise.

“I- I'm sorry!” Tian sobs pathetically.

He feels warm hands wipe his cheeks but his tears are rolling down too fast. Nam wraps his arms around him and pulls him close. Tian lets himself cry on the warm shoulder for a moment before he pushes away."Don't- You'll- You-” You will regret it.

“Tian, this kind of stress is also very bad for your heart.” Nam says gently, brushing Tian's hair out of his face."Tell me please.”

Tian shakes his head, trying to calm his breathing. Nam holds his shoulders.

“I promise I won't get mad.”

Tian lets out a strangled noise. His face feels hot and his lungs are protesting the lack of air. He gasps and coughs, trying to swallow back his sobs. This time Nam hugs him much tighter and Tian isn't strong enough to push him away.

“Will you tell me, Tian? Not to doctor Nam but to me?” Nam murmurs in his hair, "To a friend? Or older brother?”

Tian's resolve dissolves. He's tired, he's hurt and he knows he is only delaying the inevitable. He nods against Nam's neck and feels the older man sigh.

“Thank you.” Nam says and Tian has to huff.

“Don't.” he leans back, "You'll regret it.”

Nam sits back down on his seat and gives Tian the glass to sip from."I doubt it. I know sometimes the truth hurts, but it's nothing compared to a lie. If you tell me everything, just from the start, I'm sure I won't regret it.”

Tian doesn't believe him for a second. He takes another sip, "Please don't tell anyone else.”

“My lips are sealed.” Nam mimes a zipper closing his mouth. Tian smiles weakly.

Now or never.

He takes a deep breath, "Five months ago, I was at a bar with some friends-”

***

Phupha stares at his old friend.

Nam taps the sheet again. His face is pale in the late evening light and he probably shouldn't be drinking this much alcohol on a weekday, but Phupha can't really judge him for that. He had barely protested when Nam dragged him away after dinner, claiming that they both needed a refreshment.

At what point 'refreshment' became code for cheap vodka outside a dingy stall, Phupha doesn't know and right now he doesn't care.

He stares at the paper again, willing Nam's terrible writing to stop moving around. Across the top he has written ' Heart Rules' in thick, black marker. Underneath is a long list of... things. Phupha looks up at his friend with a frown, "What's this?”

Nam rolls his eyes, "This, my dense Forest Fairy, is a list of things Tian is not allowed to do with his heart-condition.”

That sobers him up a bit. After the hellish afternoon when he had to carry a limp Tian all the way to the clinic while the other rangers herded the panicking kids along and Longtae set out to the teacher's hut in hopes of finding something, Phupha feels wrangled. He spent most of the night at Tian's bedside, watching the young man breath in and out slowly.

His own wrists still ache from the heart-massage he had to give Tian. Another terrifying experience. Tian's chest isn't smooth, it's rough with puckered skin and edges. With each press he imagined the scars tearing open. He didn't know if he did the right thing but Tian's heart had stopped and Phupha didn't know any other methods of starting it again. Nam had assured him he did the right thing, but that did little to ease the anxiety.

Phupha pulls the list closer and scans it."What kind of heart-surgery did he have?”

He reads ' Don't eat spicy foods. ' at the top and feels his stomach drop.

“Not heart-surgery.” Nam corrects, resting his chin on his hand, "Heart-transplant.”

“What?” Phupha's head whips up. He stares at Nam with wide eyes. Nam nods. Phupha feels his world tilt and rearrange itself.

“Yeah, he didn't want you to worry about him.”

Phupha tries to form a coherent sentence but all he can come up with is ' What?'.

Nam refills their shot-glasses, "For an engineer, he's pretty stupid.”

“He's also not allowed to do anything strenuous, like, hiking up the cliff. Or carrying heavy things, or spending all day running around with kids. He's still recovering.”

“Recovering-” Phupha licks his dry lips, "When did he-?”

The list is practically a description of Tian's life at Pah Pun Dao. And half of it happened under Phupha's supervision.

Nam's eyes are dark, "Few months before he arrived here.”

Phupha doesn't swear normally, but this time he curses out loud. Nam lifts his glass in a silent agreement and downs it.

“That idiot.” Phupha fumes, blood roaring in his veins, "What is he thinking? What is his father thinking?”

“His who?” Nam interrupts.

Phupha hesitates."Just, what are his parents thinking, letting him do this?”

But Nam is Nam and he knows Phupha too well."You know his father?”

Phupha grumbles and drinks his shot. With a grimace he wipes his lips, wondering why they ordered this particular brand, before he answers, "We all do. Tian's full name is Tian Sopasitsakun .”

Nam chokes. Phupha rolls his eyes and pours them another shot of the terrible vodka.

“He called the base before Tian arrived, and told me to take care of him here.”

“He knows where his son ran off to?” Nam's eyes are bulging out in disbelief. Phupha blinks at him, words registering slowly through the haze of alcohol.

“Ran off?” Phupha repeats after finally finding the anomaly.

Nam swears under his breath, "Yeah, like- Euh, Tian 'ran off' in a normal way. Like us running off to the bar.”

A beat of silence.

Phupha leans over the table, "Are you telling me Tian ran away from home?”

Nam sputters, " No. That is the opposite of what I'm telling you! Like I said, he ran off in a normal way. So just leaving- yeah that! Like us now.”

“We ran away.” Phupha remarks drily. Left Rang and Yod to deal with the dishes and locking up for the evening.

“Did we though?” Nam squints at him. Phupha kicks him under the table.

“Ow, fine!” Nam pulls his legs back."Fine, yes he ran away. But I won't tell you anything else. You can ask him yourself. And don't tell him that I told you.”

He rubs his shin, "Does Tian know that you know his father?”

Phupha blinks at him, mind still processing what he just learned. After a moment, he shakes his head.

“You don't think you should tell him?” Nam asks.

Phupha shrugs, "Why?”

Nam groans, "You are the worst at emotions. Look, imagine if I told you that I'm only treating your wounds because the former chief asked me to, and not because I care about you.”

And he still wonders why people ship them.

Phupha exhales and looks up, "Hmm.”

For many years now, Nam has been his closest friend. The one person who knows Phupha completely and understands him. Phupha trusts him with his life and knows the feeling is mutual. They shared a bond forged by time and memories, all beginning when they were both baby-faced rookies thrown together in an unfamiliar base in the middle of nowhere.

Phupha mulls Nam's words over and shudders.

“Stings, doesn't it?” Nam makes a face at him, "That's how Tian would feel when he finds out that you were ordered to take care of him.”

“It's not because of that.” Phupha blurts out.

Nam raises an amused eyebrow. Phupha's ears burn and he looks away."I mean, in the beginning it was. I thought he was just some rich kid who would run away after he's had his fun. That's what his father told me.”

“And now?” Nam prods, eyes knowing.

Phupha glares at him.

“He's a good kid, Phu.” Nam chuckles, "It's totally understandable that you fell for him.”

“Nam!” Phupha reaches for the spicy snacks between them, stoically ignoring how his cheeks turn red. He throws a handful in his mouth and begins to chew, trying not to look at Nam. He has never been able to hide his feelings from Nam, but his pride doesn't allow him to stop trying.

There is no remark from his friend. No laughing, or snoring which means he's still awake. Phupha swallows and looks up. Nam is staring at him with soft but sad eyes. His free hand is playing around with his glass, tipping it until the vodka almost spills.

“What's wrong?” Phupha asks, wiping the red dust off his lips. Nam shakes his head.

Reaching over, Phupha grabs Nam's nose between his fingers and pinches, "Tell me.”

Nam slaps his hand away with a strangled curse."Nothing, you ass.”

“Bull.” Phupha huffs.

“Oh, now you've become perceptive.” Nam teases but his eyes remain somber. He lets the moment stretch, almost long enough for Phupha to protest, before he speaks up.

“Hey, remember when Torfun had just passed, and you refused to let anyone travel to the city alone for months?”

Like a bucket of cold water thrown over him, Phupha sits straight."What-”

“Just, " Nam interrupts, "just remember that other people do that too.”

“Do what?” Phupha demands, feeling like he's missing a big part of the conversation.

Nam sighs, "Punish themselves instead of accepting that what happened was not their fault.”

***

It takes two days before Nam releases Tian from the clinic under strict conditions and with a new bottle of pills.

It takes a day-and-a-half before he returns, red-faced and fuming, stabbing a finger at Phupha, who is rolling his eyes hard enough to look into his own head.

“Doc!” Tian doesn't give Nam the opportunity to speak, "Can you please tell the Chief that he doesn't need to drive me to the school every morning! It's embarrassing. I can walk just fine. And I also don't need to wear a thousand layers everyday, it's summer!”

Yeah, Nam should have seen this coming. He sends a sharp look at Phupha who does not look sorry in the least. Tian is still raging.

“And he gave me this big bag of vegetables but I told him that I can't eat that much and they will go to waste, so he made me cook for him! He kept getting in the way, so the rice burned and so did the omelette, again. And he took away the chilies and salt, and then complained that I made the soup too bland!”

Phupha turns away to hide a smile. Nam too is fighting to keep his expression straight, though most of his amusement is towards his old friend.

Oh, my Forest Fairy is gone for this boy.

“Doesn't he have work to do?” Tian pants, still flushed and sweaty, and looking so much like an indignant toddler that Nam wants to pinch his cheeks and coo at him. Tian would probably bite his head off if he tried.

Nam coughs and lifts his hand placatingly, "Well, I'm sure he does. But his job is to take care of everyone so technically-”

“There are almost fifty others he can hover over, why me?!” Tian bursts.

Nam sees Phupha's ears turn red and bites his lip, "Well, he just likes taking special care of you.”

Tian's jaw snaps shut. Nam watches gleefully as both men in front of him blush pink. Phupha still has the advantage of being older and more experienced, so he is better at hiding. Tian on the other hand has all his emotions on display. Nam can read about ten different ones flash across the beet-red face and he likes most of them.

In between the hope, the indignance, desire, hurt pride, is a darker emotion he can't quite place, but is pretty sure means guilt. Tian sputters and tries to shove everything back down.

“I- I don't need extra care. He can do that to someone else.” he stammers.

Phupha watches him from the corner of his eye, and Nam for once is thankful that his friend is much better at recognizing different ferns than he is at emotions.

“Well, " Nam starts, "you do require extra care Tian. We need to make sure what happened doesn't happen again. You know this.”

Tian crosses his arms but doesn't disagree. Nam looks at Phupha.

“Phu.”

The latter straightens. Nam can't quite keep the smugness out of his voice, "You are a grown man, I'm sure you can cook dinners for you two from now on.”

And because he does feel for Tian, he adds, "And there is no need to baby him that much. The important thing is that he lives a healthy lifestyle. That includes activity. Next time just walk him to the school.”

Tian throws his hands up and turns away, muttering something about 'traitorous doctors' and stalks out. Nam only lets himself grin out loud once he's sure the teacher is out of the doors. He wiggles his eyebrows at Phupha suggestively,

“Sooo, you two had dinner together? Did you enjoy your... meal ?”

“Pervert.” Phupha huffs and plops down on the chair, "I stayed because I wanted to make sure he took his medicine on time.”

“Hmm, " Nam muses, "and to make sure he went to bed on time, warm and cozy in your arms-”

“Doc.” Phupha warns. Nam laughs, leaning back.

“But seriously Phu. He doesn't need that much supervision. I gave you the list so you could stop him from going too far.”

Phupha frowns and Nam instantly knows he let something slip."Why would he go too far? I know he's reckless, but he's not that dumb. Right?”

Before Nam can bring anything in between, Phupha sits up."Is this about the punishing thing you said?”

Honestly, alcohol is Nam's nemesis. He should not be allowed near a drink when he's keeping secrets.

“Phu, I don't remember what I said anymore.” he lies, "Tian is young. Remember how we were at his age? Always pushing our limits. You especially.`` He finishes with a pointed glance at Phupha's forearm where a thin scar runs across the tan skin.

A reminder of why attacking goons with no backup is a bad idea. Sure it had basically earned him his promotion to Chief, but at the cost of having to listen to an anxiety-riddled Nam for over an hour begging him not to do that again.

Phupha doesn't look like he believes him but thankfully Tian decides that he has waited enough and throws the doors open.

“Chief! I need to go to school. We can't all laze around!” he shouts.

Nam smirks at Phupha's scandalized expression."Man, I really like my future brother-in-law.”

His eyes turn wide as saucers when Phupha almost tumbles back on the chair, face red. Nam is shaking with laughter by the time the 'intimidating' Chief gets up and briskly walks out of the door.

“I'll get my suit dry-cleaned!” Nam calls after him and almost cries with joy when Phupha flips him off behind his back.

***

Nam tries not to think about Tian's story too much but it's hard to avoid when Torfun is brought up.

It happens during dinner to celebrate Longtae's birthday. One of the kids compares how Tian is making them eat vegetables in a much less fun way than Torfun and Nam can see how the unbridled joy leaves Tian's eyes. His smile becomes strained and his hands tremble.

He notices how Longtae gives Tian a long look, eyes sad, and Nam realizes that he knows too. To what extent, he isn't sure, but at least Tian isn't completely alone. He just hopes Tian told the whole truth, not the one he first gave Nam.

It took over an hour of wheedling and pressuring until Tian finally admitted his friend had driven the car. He had already been hospitalized at the time. Nam felt both relief and immense pity for this young man, burdened with a secret like this one. Tian hadn't allowed himself to cry at Nam's kind words, but he didn't push him away when Nam hugged him again.

The conversation at the table continues. Phupha watches Tian's food like a hawk, moving the spicy dishes away before Tian can even look at them. Alcohol is completely out of the question and the glare Phupha sends Yod when he offers Tian a shot is enough to make the man spill the drink over his hand. It earns him a lot of jeering from the rangers and Nam is happy to join them. Tian shoots him a look of betrayal and he grins back.

Only late at night, when the kids have gone to bed, and it's just the rangers, Tian, Nam and Longtae Torfun comes up again. They skirt around the topic. The rangers are unaware that Longtae knows and the latter doesn't seem keen on wanting them to find out.

Phupha reminisces about her memory and Nam mentally begs him to stop because Tian is withering away beside him. His shoulders droop and he focuses on eating sticky rice. Nam looks around the group and musters a cheery grin,

“Hey, hey, our current teacher isn't so bad!”

Tian snaps up and flushes under the attention. Phupha turns to him and thus only Nam sitting across from him and Tian witness the small smile he gives the latter. It's soft and kind, it makes Nam misty-eyed. This is what he had always wanted for Phupha. Someone who could make him smile like that .

“I-” Tian stutters, tearing his eyes away from Phupha, "I don't think- I mean, Miss Torfun sounds amazing.”

Rang nods sadly, jostling Yod who is half-asleep on his shoulder, "She was...”

Nam hisses but the rangers are too drunk to notice the slip-up. Longtae gracefully ignores it and busies himself with the container of snacks.

“You could learn from her.” Phupha off-handedly tells Tian, tone teasing, but Nam dies a little inside. Tian throws his head back, eyebrows raised in a challenging way and it makes Phupha roll his eyes. Nam and Longtae watch Tian lower his clenched fist under the table. Nam can see the tendons in his arm tense and sighs.

When they finally go home, Nam sends Phupha away with Rand and Yod because there is no way he could carry Yod up to the base. He wraps an arm around Tian and walks away, fully aware of the jealous look his friend sends him. Tian doesn't protest.

In the middle of the forest, which is a terrible place for deep conversations, Nam ruffles Tian's hair."You know he was joking, right?”

It's silent for a moment.

“Hmm.”

“Tian, " Nam says quietly, grabbing his arm, "maybe you should tell him. It's better if you do it yourself so you can tell him the whole story.”

He feels Tian shake his head, "I'm leaving soon anyway. I'll tell him at the end so he won't have to look at me.”

“Tian-” Nam stops and makes him turn to face him. In the sharp light of the flashlight, Tian looks like a sad ghost from a folktale.

“Listen to me. I get that you feel terrible and guilty, and I'm not saying that you shouldn't, but what happened was not all your fault. You organized the race, but you didn't drive the car. It was a reckless thing to do, but you didn't hit her. And you didn't force your parents to buy her heart for you.”

Tears glitter in Tian's eyes."I just want to make it up to her. She didn't deserve to die.”

“She wouldn't have wanted you to die either, even if she never met you.” Nam says gently and he knows it's true. Torfun was the closest thing to an angel he had ever seen.

“I wasted my life, doc.” Tian replies bitterly, "I wanted to die.”

Nam grips Tian's shoulders tighter. Tian continues, "Now I'm alive, but who else died because of me? I got this heart because my parents paid for it, but what about the person who was actually on the list, waiting for so long... Two people are dead because of me. I can't-”

The rest of his words are drowned out by Nam crushing him in a hug."Tian, that is not on you. I promise you. It's not your fault.”

Tian's shoulders shake. Nam rubs his back soothingly.

“It's not your fault.” He repeats, "Your parents just wanted to save their son. I promise you that everyone on the waiting list would have done the same if they could.”

“It's selfish.” Tian mumbles in his chest.

“Love tends to be selfish, doesn't mean it's wrong.” Nam replies. Tian doesn't respond. His fingers are clutching Nam's coat.

A crackle. Frowning, Nam reaches back to grab his radio.

“Dr. Nam speaking, over.”

To Tian he whispers, "I bet that's Phu being jealous.”

Tian giggles despite the tears on his cheeks and pushes away. Nam grins back and waits for a reply from the caller. Noise filters out, none of the words make sense. Nam frowns, "This damn thing- the signal is too weak here.”

“Should we head back?” Tian asks, already turning.

Nam hesitates, "Are you doing okay? Not tired?”

Tian shrugs, "I'm fine. Besides, you know Chief won't let me walk back alone.”

That is very true. Phupha would most likely chase him down the mountain if Nam left Tian on his own in the dark.

They walk back in silence. Occasionally the radio blurts out a sound but neither can identify what or whom it is.

“Doc.?” Tian suddenly asks. Nam hums, hitting the side of the radio in hopes of magically fixing the signal.

“What is that?"

Nam looks up and aims the flashlight to where Tian is pointing. A car is parked near the road, hidden from view but they are walking right behind it. Nam feels dread built in him.

“That's not the car of the rangers, is it?” Tian whispers, having come to the same conclusion. They creep closer, until they can read the number plate.

The radio jumps to life and this time, they can hear a male voice, "-just make sure you get the outer walls. Once that's burning, the rest will follow-”

Tian stares at Nam."It’s picking up their signal.”

Nam nods, "We need to get Phu.”

Tian sneaks close and peeks inside the car, ignoring Nam's hisses. A few tense seconds tick by and Nam can smell something sharp in the air. They are near the school.

“You can take the car.” Tian returns, "They left the keys in. You can take it up to the base and get the rest.”

“Good idea.” Nam replies, trying to squash the anxiety in his stomach."Get in the passenger's side.”

Tian doesn't move. His hands are at his sight. The flashlight, pointed at the ground, casts a nervous light on his feet. He's bracing himself to run. Nam stares at him, already shaking his head."No- No you are coming with me.”

“They are trying to burn this place down, I have to stop them.” Tian says urgently.

“Then we'll stop them together.” Nam opens the car door and yanks the keys out of the ignition. He dangles it in front of Tian for a moment before stuffing it in his pocket."Let's find out what they are planning to burn.”

They walk close, through the dense bush until they reach the school because of course they do. The greatest enemy of Sakda's gang is an educated village. And probably Tian. If he's completely honest, Tian is probably the reason this whole night is happening. Nam vows to never ever tell that to the man, even as a jest.

The school is desolate, just a dark silhouette against an even darker backdrop. Three unfamiliar figures are walking around it, pouring something on the walls. Tian mutters a curse under his breath. Nam makes them walk back again until they are out of earshot.

He brings his radio up, adjusting the signal with the help of the flashlight. It must have shifted during the dinner. Now Phupha's voice filters through the noise, impatient and urgent.

“Nam? Reply damn it.” A beat."Over.”

Tian sighs. Nam sends him an amused look before bringing the radio close.

“Nam here.” he replies quickly, "Phu get the guys here. We got unwanted company here.”

It takes a second before Phupha answers again. Tian sends an anxious look at the source of the smell. They need to hurry up.

“Nam? Is Tian with you? Who's there?” Phupha sounds like he's rushing around, distant clattering distorting his voice.

“Phu, someone is trying to set the school on fire. Tian is with me, hurry.” Nam clarifies, taking nervous glances at the school. The men are still pouring gasoline. One throws the jerry can in the building and walks around to retrieve another one from a pile.

“Tian- Nam do not engage. We're coming. Tell me what you see.”

Nam peers up, "Eh, three men so far. They came with one car but I took the keys. They look big. They are throwing gasoline on the school walls. They are almost done I think.”

“Do not approach them.” Phupha repeats, "Tian? Promise me.”

He really knows the guy. Nam turns to make Tian promise, except he's not here. All the spots beside Nam are empty.

Nam is dead. Sooooo dead.

Phupha can never, ever find out. Ever.

“Tian?” he whisper-shouts, feeling panic building his chest. For all that he is a city boy, Tian can move like a ninja when he wants to."Tian?”

“Tian?” Phupha crackles over the radio, "Nam, where is he?”

He knows him too well. Nam brings the radio up again, thinking of a way to tell Phupha without giving him an aneurysm. His eye lands on Tian's hunched figure, running back towards Nam with something in his arms.

“I got one.” he pants when he arrives, proudly showing the red jerrycan. Nam doesn't know whether to hit him or to strangle him.

“Are you out of your mind-” he begins but Phupha interrupts him again.

“Nam? Where is Tian? Is he alright? Please-”

Nam shoves the radio to Tian's face, "Tell him you're fine.” he demands, pressing the button.

Tian nods obediently for once, "Chief, I'm alright.”

It's silent for a moment.

“Good.”

Nam rolls his eyes and takes the radio back."Hurry up before I break my oath, Phu.”

“On our way.” Phupha replies and sure enough the deep rumble of an engine sounds through the radio. Nam winces at the sound and turns the volume even lower.

Phupha speaks again, "Are you two safe?”

Tian rolls his eyes this time and Nam has to agree with him."We are-”

“Hey, we're missing one!”

Nam promptly bites his tongue. Tian turns wide, fearful eyes to him. The nerve of this man.

“Nam?” Phupha urges, voice tense. Rang yells something that sounds like ' five minutes ' but could also be ' firecrackers ' and Nam doesn't trust their brain cells enough to be sure.

He ignores Phupha for now, turns the volume all the way down, and pushes Tian back. He turns the flashlight off as they carefully walk back to the dense forest. The men at the school begin to walk around urgently, speaking in low tones to one another. One tall guy whacks another one, who sets off to the car.

As the car door opens, mere seconds after they slunk in the shadows surrounding it, Tian tugs his coat, urging Nam to walk faster. From this close they can hear the man breathing. It's a matter of seconds now.

They almost, almost, reach the forest when one of them steps on a branch. Nam thinks it might be Tian but it really doesn't matter at this moment. The dry snap is like a gunshot in the dead of the night. Everyone freezes.

“What was that?”

“Who's there!”

“Hey-” The third man shouts, "The keys are gone!”

A light, much and much brighter than Nam's pencil-sized flashlight, flicks to live and begins to sweep through the trees. Blinking against the black spots in his eyes, Nam grabs Tian's hand and pulls him away. Tian follows without protest.

“There!”

The light hits their backs and Nam has never felt this exposed before, even more than the time he went swimming with his girlfriend and Phupha, and she gave Phupha a long look before patting Nam's back in consolation.

“We- Split up!” Tian gasps. Nam ducks underneath a branch, feels another one whip against his thigh and can't disagree.

“Go in the forest!” he pants, "Now!”

Tian shoots away, turning to the right and disappearing in between the trees. Nam takes a breath, patting his back for protecting his best friend's future husband, and turns to the road. With one hand he fumbles for his flashlight and turns it on, shining it around behind him.

As he hoped, the light stays on him.

“Get him!” A voice roars as he sprints over the road. If he's lucky, the rangers would arrive at any second now, right in front of him. Until then, he has to hope and just run in the name of his family's honor.

Please be safe Tian.

It's not the car that arrives.

Just as Nam feels a hand brush his shoulder, a single headlight blinds both him and the goon. Nam almost wishes Tian was here to witness Phupha arrive on the motorcycle like a hero in a movie. Right behind him, the Jeep arrives and to Yod's credit only sways lightly.

“Turn back!”

Nam laughs in relief at the panic of the men behind him. Phupha stops almost directly beside him, and grabs his arm."Nam!”

Nam could kiss his friend but then he'd have to fight Tian. He wipes the sweat off his nose and clutches his shoulder instead. The Jeep races past them, hot on the heels of the running goons.

“Nam!” Phupha searches for his eyes, "Are you okay? You're bleeding.”

Nam blinks and looks down. In the light of the headlight he can spot the dark spots on his clothes. He suspects half of them are from mud but now he can also feel the stinging of shallow cuts over his body. Those branches were nasty.

“I'm fine.” he assures him.

Phupha's hold on his arms grows tighter, "Tian?”

His friend is terrified, Nam realizes. Phupha's face is white, his hands are trembling and his eyes are dark and wide. Nam points at the forest."I made him run away. He must be hiding somewhere.”

Just like that, Phupha jumps off his bike and hands it to Nam."Go to the clinic if you're able to. Otherwise wait here for me.” and he sprints into the forest.

Nam lets out a shivering breath and brings the bike to the edge of the road, where he stalls it. His knees buckle and he sits down beside the warm tyre. He wipes sweaty palms over an even sweatier face and laughs in disbelief.

They actually made it. Tian and Nam, with their uncalloused skin and soft muscles beat the rough goons. He shivers. Never again. That is what the rangers trained for and Nam is more than happy to let them have the honor next time.

He stares at the line of trees across the road and smiles wide. He can imagine Phupha finding Tian hiding behind a large tree, and pulling the latter up in one haul, engulfing him in a hug. Tian will splutter, valiantly attempting to defend his dignity but it's pointless. He hopes Tian will let Phupha take care of him a little, let his friend fuss and hover because Tian deserves it.

There is a commotion at the end of the road. Nam watches with no small amount of satisfaction as three figures are manhandled in the back of the Jeep, cuffed and all. The Jeep turns and begins to drive back up the road. Nam waves at it as it goes by. Yod offers him a lift but he refuses, patting the bike and nodding at the trees. Yod grins and puts his foot down. The goons yelp as the car speeds ahead.

A few minutes later, two voices filter through the silence. Nam smiles as Phupha's tall figure appears, one arm wrapped around Tian who does not appear injured any more than Nam is, but still lets himself get herded.

“Doc!” Tian's eyes land on him and he runs to him, pulling Phupha forward."Are you okay?”

Nam turns the steering wheel so the light falls on Tian too. He looks like a poster-child for homeless youngsters who survive in dumps. Nam snorts at the same time Tian grimaces at his attire.

“You are a bit dirty.” he says, pointing at Nam's trousers.

“And you look like you fell in a sewer. I thought I told you to run, not to roll around in the mud.” Nam replies, grinning.

“You both look terrible.” Phupha interjects, bringing his arm around Tian's waist and pulling him close almost subconsciously, and Nam finally understands why his girlfriend always looks slightly unhinged when her favorite drama-couple holds hands. Phupha sends a warning glare at Nam and steers Tian to sit on the bike.

“Nam, " Phupha pats the place in front, "sit here and drive to the clinic. I'll catch up.”

One look at Tian, and Nam knows that's two steps forward and one back. He shakes his head."Nah, you two get going. I need to walk for a bit.”

“We could all walk?” Tian offers innocently. The older men stare at him. Nam has to admit Tian is the better man here. If it had been Nam and Jaeb, he would have dumped Phupha in a heartbeat.

(He would have dropped Jaeb off and raced back to fetch him of course, Phupha is the closest thing he has to a brother.)

Nam huffs, "Only if you promise to remain clothed until we're indoors.”

The whack he receives from Phupha is totally worth the memory of Tian's jaw dropping and his wide eyes snapping to Phupha.

Nam is giddy the whole way home.

***

It's early morning when both Nam and Tian are finally washed and bandaged in the cots at the ranger's base. Both in the communal sleeping space because Phupha couldn't decide who to watch over. Nam told him to take care of Tian but then Phupha stuttered through half a speech on how Nam was his closest friend and how bad he felt for not being with them on time, and Nam had to take pity on him.

He still pretended to be asleep after instructing Phupha to hold Tian's hand. Once he's sure Tian's breathing has evened out, Nam peels his eyes back open and smiles at Phupha. He is on a small chair beside Tian's bed, interlaced hands on Tian's stomach, head on his arm and eyes filled with love.

“You really fell for this guy, huh?” Nam whispers with a rough voice .

Phupha snaps up, relaxing when his eyes meet Nam. Instead of pulling his hand away, Phupha smiles mildly and shrugs.

“Phu, " Nam whispers, "do you like him?”

It's quiet for a long moment before Phupha clears his throat, "I just... I feel...”

He trails off, ears red and looking anywhere but Nam. Oh my God, Nam thinks, he is nervous. About a boy!

“Phu, " Nam repeats, smiling warmly, "it's just me. You know I only judge your fashion and tattoos.”

Phupha chuckles, and wipes his free hand on his trousers. Nam wants to burn this memory in his mind. This unguarded version of the stern Phupha he always knew. The one who has his emotions on display.

“I mean, I met him just a few weeks ago and...” Phupha stammers, "I don't know. I just want to be with him forever.”

Nam thanks his lucky stars for letting him witness an actual love confession from Phupha. Now if only he could repeat that when Tian was awake.

“Is that normal?” he asks, hunching his shoulders.

Nam turns to his side, "Sometimes. It took me a few months before I stared at Jaeb in her sleep.”

Phupha mouths an insult at him. Nam flips him off. They share a grin.

“I'm glad you found each other.” Nam yawns, pulling the blanket up."Despite everything. You two are perfect for each other.”

Phupha gives him a long look and just as Nam is about to drift off, he speaks up in a low voice, "He told you something, didn't he?”

Nam freezes.

“Nam.” Phupha says in that same tone, "Please, can you tell me? Is there something wrong? Is it his heart?”

“He's not dying if you're wondering.” Nam says, shaking his head when Phupha visibly deflates, "I would have sent him back if that was the case.”

“Then what is it?” Phupha asks, eyes pleading.

Nam looks between him and Tian, "Sorry Phu, it's not my story to tell. Ask him when he wakes up. Just...”

“What?”

“Just be kind, and patient. That's all.” Nam smiles, "Oh and keep in mind that he's very hard on himself.”

Phupha's expression is nothing short of pained, "Punishing himself?”

He receives a nod in reply. Phupha looks at Tian and then back at Nam, squaring his shoulders like some sort of knight in a movie,

“Whatever it is, I'm sure I can forgive him.”

That statement is enough to make Nam blush."I can't believe I'm no longer your One True Love. What will our fans say?”

“Please shut up.”

Nam dabs at an imaginary tear, "How will I break the news to Jaeb? She was planning our wedding.”

“She can start planning your funeral instead.” Phupha remarks drily.

“Till death do us part, those were our vows-” Nam continues, chuckling at Phupha's exasperated expression.

The mirth dies away and Phupha stills, eyes running over Nam's face."Don't do that again.”

His free hand is clenched in a fist, trembling minutely."Please Nam, don't. We arrived in time tonight, but what if next time we're too late?”

The audacity of this guy. Nam huffs and sits up a little."Now do you understand how I feel everytime you guys go out?”

“That's part of our job.” Phupha insists, "We're here to protect you, so you don't have to get hurt.”

“Don't you think we want to protect you too?” Nam sighs, "I never told you, but I once considered training to become a paramedic, or at least to get some of the training you guys do so I could go out with you. But the villagers need me too..."

“Idiot.” Phupha scolds him, eyes narrow, "Are we that useless?”

Nam rolls his eyes, "Not at all, but I still want to be there to protect you even if I can't. That's called 'caring for someone', you emotionally constipated giant.”

Phupha scowls, rubbing his fist over his thigh. Nam watches him for a moment before ushering him, "Stop doing that to yourself."

He opens his arms in invitation. Phupha glares at him but still gently detangles his hand from Tian's and walks over. They are not ones to hug often, despite Nam's clinginess, so these moments are always a bit heavy. Phupha balances on the side of his bed, awkwardly turning to wrap his arms around his friend. Nam winces at the soreness in his arms but hugs back with the same strength.

“Thanks for saving us.” he murmurs.

Phupha says nothing but tightens his hold minutely. Nam rubs firm circles on his back, hoping some of it will get through those iron muscles and ease that ever-present tension lingering there.

“We won't do it again." Nam promises, the same way he makes the rangers promise every time he stitches them back up.

“You just had to play the hero, huh?” Phupha says, voice low enough to just be a rumble against Nam's shoulder.

“Can't let you guys have all the glory.” Nam replies, "I'm going to be telling this tale to my grand-children.”

He pats Phupha's back and the latter pulls back, "Idiot.”

“Loser.” Nam grins back.

Phupha raises his eyebrows, "Mature.”

“Says the one with a crush like a teenage-mpff!”

Phupha glowers at him, hand firmly pressed over Nam's mouth."You'll wake him up!”

“Mpfdfdgfd!” Nam protests, swatting at the brawny arm. It's like trying to punch a steel bar in half so he does the next best thing.

“What the-!” Phupha yanks his hand away, staring between his palm and Nam's smug face in disbelief.

“Did you lick my hand?”

Nam smacks his lips, "Don't worry. I got all my vaccines, you won't make me ill.”

“Don't tell Tian though.” He adds as an afterthought, enjoying the sudden hitch in Phupha's shoulders, "He might get jealous-”

There is a muffled sound on the other end of the room. Both men snap around. Tian is pulling the blanket up to his face, cheeks red

“Tian!” Phupha's relief is evident in his voice. Nam mutters something that sounds like ' whipped ' but gets ignored in favor of Tian. Which is fair, he assumes.

“How are you feeling?” Phupha hovers near the bed as if they didn't spend a good half hour holding hands and making heart-eyes at each other. He helps Tian sit up and gives him some water from his bottle. Nam rolls his eyes and lays back down.

“How come I didn't get that treatment, huh?” he huffs, "You just lectured me right away.”

Phupha shakes his head,

“Ignore him.” he tells Tian, who is surprisingly not preparing any sarcastic comment. Nam studies him for a moment. The red cheeks, the Bambi-eyes and lost voice... His eyes grow wide.

“So Tian, " he begins, shifting in a more comfortable position to really enjoy the show, " when did you wake up exactly?”

The alarm on Phupha's face is like butter to his toast. Tian shrugs minutely, looking very much like a scolded child.

Nam smirks at his friend, "Was it when Phu let go of your hand? Did you miss him already?”

Tian flushes deeper but shakes his head, "No way, I was awake way before-”

He chokes to a halt, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Nam cackles. Phupha's face is as red as Tian's. Both of them are in a state of panic that only makes Nam laugh harder."Wow, I wish I had my camera!”

“Nam!”

“Doc!”

Nam wipes his eyes and sits up, "Well, at least you don't have to repeat yourself, Phu.”

Phupha's face promises murder but Tian is making the softest face at him, and if he would just turn around...

Nam grins when Phupha notices Tian looking at him and promptly melts into a puddle. By some magnetic force, their hands meet and they hold each other tight.

The teasing leaves Nam's head. His heart is about to burst from happiness. Happy that his loyal friend finally found love, happy that he can witness it and happy that he has found a whole new way of teasing them. He sniffs a little, feeling ridiculous but he can't help being emotional.

Sunlight is filtering through the little window, casting gold on their faces. Nam memorizes the image and slowly gets up.

The bed creaks and disrupts the two from their gazing. Tian tries to pull his hands back in a reflex, but Phupha is holding on a bit too tight. Nam smiles, "Don't mind me, I'm just going to go get some fresh air and coffee. I'll be back.”

“Wait-” Tian reaches out to Nam with one hand, "can you stay?”

Nam blinks at him. Phupha looks between them.

“Just... I'm going to tell...” Tian trails off, hand dropping into a fist against the blanket.

Oh.

“Are you sure?” Nam asks gently, "You heard Phu. If you tell him everything, and I mean everything , it will be fine.”

Tian steals a glance at Phupha, who is looking like he's holding his breath in fear.

“I- I know.”

“Stay, Nam.” Phupha interjects, eyes full of worry.

Nam sits back down without another word. Tian sighs. Phupha is looking more and more like he's about to burst. Tian turns to him, holding his hand between two of his smaller ones. Nam forgotten, Phupha turns to fully face Tian, sitting on the side of his bed.

“Chief...” Tian swallows, "I- I have to tell you something.”

“Yes?” Phupha's free hand twitches as if he wants to grab Tian. He grabs the mattress instead, and considering the amount of force he puts in his grip, it's for the best.

Tian doesn't dare to meet his eyes, "It's my heart... It's not mine, actually.”

Nam bites the inside of his cheek as he listens. Tian stumbles through his story with a thick voice, eyes trained on Phupha's necklace. It takes forty minutes, hitches and stammering included, for Tian to tell the whole story of how he got his heart. Forty minutes in which Phupha remains still as a statue.

When Tian runs out of words, he slumps forward, "I'm sorry Chief. I'm so sorry...”

Nam looks at Phupha, eyes begging him to interrupt the endless stream of apologies pouring out of Tian. Phupha's eyes are filled with tears. Painfully slow, he pulls his hand free and gets up. Tian remains looking down as Phupha walks out of the room, almost fleeing, every line of his body tense and knees wobbly.

When the door clicks shut, Nam hurries over to Tian's bed. The latter falls into his arms like a limp puppet, sobbing against his chest.

“Shh, " Nam murmurs into his hair, "he'll be back. He just needs to process this. Shhh... You did well telling him.”

Tian doesn't respond. Nam lets him cry himself into a slumber and lowers him back on his pillow. There are red splotches on his pale skin and his half-lidded eyes are bloodshot. Nam wipes the tears and strokes his forehead like his mother used to do, until Tian is asleep. Then he gets up and goes to find his friend.

***

Phupha doesn't react when Nam sits next to him in the kitchen area. The base is still silent. The early sunlight casts a glow over the dewy landscape. It's beautiful but Phupha barely notices it.

“You knew, " he states.

Nam sighs, "He told me- I made him tell me when he woke up in the clinic.”

“You forgave him?”

Nam isn't violent so the slap on his shoulder takes Phupha by surprise. He blinks at his friend.

“There is very little to forgive Phu.” Nam says, "The only blame he gets is for organizing the damn race.”

“That's illegal.” Phupha points out absently. He feels like he's floating outside his body.

Nam is quiet for a moment. Phupha stares out at the mountain. Torfun's kind eyes and gentle voice echoe in his memories. Her death is an ever present ache, deep in his core. The memory of her smile is one of the few precious things in his life.

Tian didn't take her place. They are two separate beings no matter how much he now knows Tian tried to follow her footsteps. Tian is different from Torfun. Phupha misses Torfun. He doesn't want to lose Tian but he's not sure what is right at this moment.

“Tian... He left out one detail just now.” Nam says slowly.

Phupha tears his eyes away from the scenery, "What?”

Nam has a thin scrape on his cheekbone, red against his pale skin. It moves when he speaks again, "Tian was suicidal.”

It's a strange word to associate with the resilient, stubborn young man they had come to know. Phupha's mouth feels dry when he tries to speak. No words come out.

“Not directly, " Nam amends, lost in thoughts, "but he didn't think life was worth living anymore. He was going to die anyway with his heart-condition, so he just gave up.”

“And then-” Phupha croaks.

“And then he organized the race, collapsed, woke up and was told how lucky he was and 'isn't he glad that he survived this ordeal'?” Nam looks pensive.'

“That's...” Phupha begins, unsure of how to finish that train of thought.

“Yeah.” Nam agrees.

They listen to the birds, chirping without a care in the world. The sun begins to warm their faces, promising a hot day ahead.

“I'm not mad.” Phupha finally says, and he knows it's the truth."But what do I do now?”

Nam nudges him, "Tell him that. Make sure he knows that he can still be with you.”

“The villagers?” Phupha looks at Nam, "I didn't tell them.”

“You did what you thought was best, " Nam hums, "but I think it's time you gathered everyone and told the whole truth. They deserve to know. For Tian's sake too. He always looks so guilty when Torfun is mentioned.”

Phupha stiffens, "Crap... I told him- Oh no...” he groans, bringing up a hand to cover his eyes.

Nam grimaces, "Yeah, but don't worry. I think he knows you were joking, I told him you were anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“Welcome.”

Phupha takes a breath and gets up. With an encouraging nod from Nam, he turns and enters the sleeping area again. Tian is fast asleep so Phupha sits beside him on the chair and waits.

He's almost completely asleep by the time Tian shifts. There are noises outside, the other ranger awake and stumbling about to start the day, but thankfully no one enters the room.

Tian's eyes blink open and find him. Phupha takes a breath and offers a small smile. The fear drains from Tian in an instant. The distance between them feels too big. Tian moves away automatically as Phupha comes to sit beside him on his bed.

As if in a trance, he reaches out and cups Tian's cheek. The latter goes still, eyes wide and lips parted.

“Chief?” he asks.

Phupha isn't sure where to begin so he just smiles again and rubs his thumb over Tian's cheekbone. He looks too small, too fragile against Phupha's rough hand.

He doesn't belong here...

Tian is from a different world. A place that he will have to return to soon. They will part ways and Phupha will be alone again. Without his heart this time.

As if he can read his mind, Tian covers his hand with his own pale one, and gets up.

“Are you going to send me away?” he asks.

Phupha lets himself look at this young man, memorizing every little feature and the shimmer in his eyes. He had spent the entire night, while he raced to the scene on his bike, beating himself up over the fact that he let Nam walk Tian home. As the two got checked by the nurse at the clinic, Phupha had paced outside cursing himself for not arriving sooner, for letting the two people closest to his heart be in danger.

When he held Tian's hand just now, he knew he couldn't let him go again. Consequences be damned, one way or another, he would make sure he could always watch over Tian. Even if the latter stopped caring for him, Phupha wouldn't stop.

“Do you want to go?”

Immediately, Tian shakes his head. Phupha's smile grows wider.

“Then how can I send you away?” And because Tian has been honest with him, Phupha pulls him closer, "Tian, there is something else you should know.”

In careful words, not letting Tian look away from him, he explains his orders. To take care of this rich boy who would soon get bored and leave anyway. Tian's eyes harden but Phupha pushes through, assuring him that he has shattered every expectation. This rich boy managed to sleep on a thin bedroll, managed to cook and clean for himself. He had forced his way in the hearts of the villagers and refused to give up.

“I'm glad you're here, Tian.” Phupha admits, "And I don't mind taking care of you... Not at all. I like it, actually.”

Tian huffs, "I never asked you to.”

But he leans forward and wraps his arms around Phupha, who hugs him back without thinking. Tian is warm against him, hair tickling his nose and arms purposefully too tight around him.

The brat.

Phupha rests his chin on top of his head, "Are you trying to strangle me?”

He feels Tian grin against his collarbone, "I would never do such a thing.”

“So much wealth and opportunities and yet no one taught you manners.”

Tian pulls away, indignance painting his features. Phupha fights the smirk forming on his face. It's just too easy.

“I'll have you know I had a special tutor just for etiquette.” Tian says primly.

Phupha schools his features into a somber frown, "Oh, that poor soul.”

Tian hands, still on Phupha's waist, pinch him."Chief, can't you be nice for once? I ran around all night-”

“So did I, " Phupha interrupts, "I ran around to find you, and I did.”

Tian's expression turns into something that makes Phupha's heart stutter. His eyes grow soft, a faint blush appears on his cheeks and it looks like he's trying to say something. Phupha waits without breathing.

Tian seems to be debating himself mentally. His eyes flicker all over Phupha's face, making the latter nervously lick his lips. He feels his face heat up when Tian's eyes snap to his mouth.

Suddenly everything feels too intense. Phupha's entire body is oversensitive. He can smell the soap Tian used to wash off the grime, and feels his legs move against his hip. The sun shines in Tian's eyes, making them the color of honey and he's lost in them.

He should have asked Nam for advice on this.

Phupha has no clue what to do. Too afraid of chasing Tian away while also not willing to force him into something that is not right for him. Tian is young, too many loose ends still. He needs to live his life in a way that fits him and Phupha isn't sure if that's here, in Pha Pun Dao at the side of a simple officer.

Tian leans in, avoiding his lips and presses a warm kiss on his cheek. His scent overwhelms Phupha. He feels lightheaded, heart pounding in his chest. He remains frozen even as Tian sits back to look at him. When he notices Phupha's reaction, his eyes crinkle in mirth.

“Thank you for saving us, Chief.” he says in a tone so sweet it makes Phupha break out in sweat.

He licks his lips once more and Tian's eyes are on him again. It's all too much and yet Phupha wants more.

With a surge of confidence he has never felt before, he ducks his head and kisses Tian lightly on his lips. It's a brief touch, barely a blink of the eye, but it sends bolts of electricity through his body. He doesn't move back too far, afraid of seeing Tian's face.

“You're welcome.” he whispers in a hoarse voice.

“Chief...” Tian breathes and grabs his shirt, yanking him close. Phupha almost falls against him, only being steadied by Tian's hand on his chest. Tian's lips are firm against his, while he holds him in place with his free hand on Phupha's shoulder.

Phupha has no idea what he's supposed to be doing, so he just lets Tian lead. He feels drunk, dizzy and overwhelmed all at once. It's like a dream he never wants to wake up from. A rollercoaster he's afraid to exit because it just feels too good .

When they part, Phupha is panting and so out of it, he has to rest his head on Tian's shoulder. He feels the other shake with laughter but Tian thankfully remains quiet. Phupha buries his face against Tian's neck, slowly inhaling and feeling himself calm down.

“Chief, are you okay?” Tian's voice is trembling with suppressed laughter.

“Shush.” Phupha pokes his belly with one hand, making Tian giggle.

“Are you shy, Chief?”

Phupha opens one eye and turns his head slightly to look at the guy that could melt all rationality from his brain with a kiss, "Tian.”

“Hmm?”

“Shut up.”

He'll never admit it, but Tian's laughter is the best thing he has ever heard.

*** 

“They are dating!”

“What?!” Jaeb splutters, "Who?”

Nam jumps around in his room, "Phu and Tian, the teacher!”

“What!- Oh my God!” Jaeb squeals over the phone, "Oh my God are you serious?”

“Yes!” Nam is not even slightly embarrassed by the sounds coming out of his mouth, "They talked for like an hour and when I peeked in, they were kissing !”

Jaeb screams in his ear. Nam completely agrees, giddy with joy, "I wonder if Tian knows he's Phu's first-”

“Do not tell him.” Jaeb tells him, voice suddenly serious, "Nam, I know you like to tease him, but I think Phu might actually kill you if you did.”

Nam rolls his eyes, flopping down on his chair, "I'm dumb, but not that dumb. Besides, I'm pretty sure Tian will find out soon enough. Anyway it's none of my business. I'm just so glad they got together.”

They are quiet for a moment.

“Where are they now?” Jaeb asks.

“Tian is still teaching, Phu is on patrol.” Nam recalls, "They'll be busy all day.”

“Nam, " Jaeb says, voice meek, "are they staying separately?”

Nam frowns, "Euh, yes. Tian lives in the teacher's home, and Phu is on the base. Why?”

“What if there is an incident in Phupha's room, which means he can't stay there?”

It takes a second to process but then Nam grins, "Oh no Jaeb, there is not nearly enough in that room to get damaged. But, what if Tian required extra supervision through the night. You know, because he encountered bandits?”

“Oh " Jaeb gasps, "he needs someone nearby just in case. Does Phu know that?”

“Indeed," Nam waves the flabbergasted nurse away, mouthing at her that he'll be there in a second, "I should warn him...”

Jaeb laughs and Nam sighs, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He loves that sound.

There is a knock on the door, and it opens before Nam can turn around. He spins around in his chair, coming face to face with Tian, who is silently fuming. Again.

Hoo boy...

“Eh, I'll call you back.” Nam says slowly, hanging up.

“Tian-?” Nam begins, but his words die on his lips when the door opens again.

“Tian!” Phupha's voice echoes from the hall and soon the man enters the room too, sweaty and looking annoyed."I told you not to run in this heat.”

Tian's chest puffs up and he turns blazing eyes to Nam, who shrinks a little, "Doc can you please tell Chief that I am fine and he doesn't need to worry so much?”

“You're hurt!” Phupha exclaims in a tone that suggests he has been saying the same thing for a while now, pointing at Tian's leg. Nam follows his finger and sure enough there is a dark patch on Tian's knee, where the fabric is ripped.

“It's just a scratch!”

“What if it gets infected?” Phupha counters, "Right, Nam?”

Oh hell-

Nam smiles weakly, "Let me check first-”

“See," Tian waves his arms, "it's nothing serious!”

Phupha turns to him, "Are you a doctor now?”

A nurse passes the open door and doubles back, staring between the bickering couple and Nam, who feels like he made a huge mistake somewhere down the line. She waves at him and hurries away. Traitor. She can pay for her own bbq during the next team dinner.

“I feel fine! I've had plenty of scrapes.” Tian insists.

“Just let Nam have a look, please.” Phupha towers over Tian as much as he can, eyes serious. Tian splutters for a moment, but gives in.

“Fine.” he stomps over to the bed, sits down and rolls the leg of his torn pants up. Nam sighs and brings his chair closer.

“Is this going to be the new normal?” he mutters.

Tian glances at Phupha, "I hope not.”

Nam takes a closer look at the wound. It's nothing but a superficial scratch. He pulls his cart with supplies closer and begins to clean it.

“It's nothing.” he tells Phupha, "A kiss would have solved it.”

“Doc!” Tian protests, ears red. Phupha doesn't say anything, but has a faint air of smugness around him and Nam has to applaud his confidence. He leans back with a tired grin,

“You're going to be fine. Phu, he won't lose his leg so you can stop fussing now.”

Phupha nods curtly. Nam turns to Tian, "You are free to go. Just don't get any more scratches. I think the next step would be for Phu to start carrying you everywhere.”

“He better not.” Tian grumbles, and he gets up. Nam watches as he sweeps past Phupha without a second glance, and only turns to bid Nam goodbye before leaving the room. Phupha shakes his head, gives Nam a wave and follows him.

“Hey Phu.” Nam stops him just before he opens the door.

Phupha turns around, looking at him questioningly. Nam smiles and says the exact words Phupha had told him when Nam introduced Jaeb to him,

“Nice catch.”

Phupha's grin is blinding, "He is.”

Nam holds out his hand, "Now give me the damn list back. You're overdoing it."