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Chapter Text

I placed the microphone down as soon I went backstage. I've been the first to leave the stage even though our fans wanted us to say goodbye for a little bit longer. I took off my high-heeled boots and went barefeet to the changing room, not really feeling like talking to or thanking anyone of the staff in regard of our performance and their work. Every time is the same; you go off stage, the staff congratulates you, you act modest and polite and go on talking about other meaningless things. I'm not about that today. I am so mentally exhausted.

Just silence. Silence was the only thing I could hear once I closed the door. With my back against the wall I sighed. Why am I like this. My body is sweaty because of dancing, my feet hurt because of the shoes, my throat is sore from singing, yet I am not physically tired. My body is not tired, but my mind is. And deep inside, in the pit of my stomach I feel an empty void that no food can fill up. My soul is empty.

"Sato-san, aren't you going to change?" I was so lost in my thoughts that I couldn't hear our lovely Yokoyama Reina speak. I didn't even realise the other members have entered the changing room.
"... I will." I nodded my head at the younger girl and grabbed my track suit in order to change. I was trying as much as I could to not look at any of the half naked bodies around me, even though I saw them countless times already. We usually change in front of each other without any hesitation since we are all girls but for some time now I feel like I don't want anybody to see me like that. Wearing underwear or swimsuit is meant to be seen only by someone you love; showing skin to friends, co-workers or random people is a big no to me. So I headed to the bathroom...

"Saku-chan, do you have any makeup remover?" Erina asked Sakura who had her huge makeup bag placed beside the sink.
"Let me help you, Ikuta-san!" I just scoffed at the interaction of the two women as entering one of the stalls in order to change. I could hear giggling coming from the both of them, thing that made me more irritated with each second passing by. Waiting for the noises outside to stop, I tried to calm myself down and let them leave in order to avoid them. But I was so awful at timing...

"Maa-chan, can you please stay for a minute?" I brought my head up and looked at the 11th gen member who's back was still facing me, looking at me through the mirror. "Can you help me get all the bobby pins out of my hair?" She asked for my help, thing that I could not refuse.

"Why are you so silent, Maa-chan?" Half of her hair was pinned back to the side, making all of her dark brown hair flow down on one of her shoulders. I always loved this look on her, it really suits her but I never really had the chance to compliment her.
"You are really pretty, Oda-chan." I could feel heat rushing up my face as I could only imagine me being blushing. But I have to keep it cool, so I just took out the pins from her hair one by one like nothing happened.
"Um, thank you." She was taken aback by my words and I couldn't help but smile; who is blushing now, eh?
"You know, Oda-chan? I could just look at you all day long." I grabbed her hair brush and started brushing her hair gently trying not to pull at it. She froze in place after hearing my words and I couldn't help but smile wider. "Why are you so silent, Oda-chan?" I repeated her question from earlier, thing that made her sigh.
"Because you are teasing me."
"Oh, am I?" She looked at our reflection in the mirror and caught me smirking; she sighed again and turned around to face me.
"We have to sort out some things, Maa-chan."
"Then talk." I continued fixing her hair but she stopped me by grabbing my hand and placing the hair brush away.
"Not here and not like this. Somewhere where is just the two of us. This is really important to me because I worried about you, Sato Masaki." My smile disappeared once I heard my full name escaping her lips; now I know she's serious about it. But why would she be worried about me?

We just looked at each other without saying anything for the next few minutes. I could hear the other members leave the changing room; some one by one, some in groups. Maybe we should get going as well.
"Just be honest with me, okay? That's all I want." Sakura grabbed my hand as I was trying to leave the bathroom, making me stop. I reassured her by nodding my head, before gathering my stuff in order to go home for the day.

Chapter Text

"Aaaaand, done!" It has been a few days since I last saw Masaki and I can't wait to talk with her today. We just finished our dance practice for the day which was kind of tiring because we had to practice some older song choreographies from the beginning in order to integrate the three girls from the 15'th gen in them.
"You did well, girls. Fukumura-san, Ikuta-san, Ishida-san, I rely on you to help the new members with the dance practice for the next couple of days while I'm gone. Can you do that?" Our choreographer said to the leader and the two sub-leaders.

"Yes sensei. You can count on us." Our beloved leader said smiling. The teacher nodded her head before saying goodbye and leaving the practice room.

"Guys~ we are done for today. You all did great! Let's go home now and rest." Mizuki said as she lead the members out. The only one lingering around was Ayumi and Masaki.

"Aren't you guys going home?" Ayumi asked confused. She usually stays around for longer after every practice in order to do some more stretching, so I feel like Masaki and I are the ones bothering her.

"We actually want to hang out for a little bit. I hope we don't bother you, Ishida-san." I said sitting down beside Masaki on the floor.

"There is no problem, Oda-san. I'll be out in 10 minutes and the studio is all yours." The older girl smiled.

And 10 minutes on the clock it was, no longer, no shorter. 10 agonising minutes for me in which the girl sitting beside me just stood still, doing nothing and saying nothing, nor to me or to Ayumi. I'm quite annoyed at this point but I decided to just ignore the feeling. I accompanied Ayumi to the exit and said our goodbyes, before going back to the dance studio yet again where our Sato Masaki was.

I was surprised to see the studio now dim, the majority of the lights being turned off. And there she was, sitting on the floor cross-legged in her gray tracksuit, sipping on some water. I approached her and sat down opposite of her, thing that made her put the water bottle down.

"How did you know today was the day I wanted to talk to you?" I asked her since she's always the first one leaving practice and yet she did stay for longer today.
"I just figured.." I finally heard her voice after so many hours in which we were in the same room. "Are you going to interrogate me about my behavior, Oda-chan?" She looked up at me and I couldn't read any emotion on her face, really. Her face was so expressionless, stiff and dull even, like she is made of stone. I haven't seen her smile in so long and I really miss it. I miss the old Sato Masaki.

"I don't want to interrogate you, Maa-chan. I just want to know why are you so cold with all of us, especially me. You don't hang out with us anymore, you don't talk to us. Do you hate us that much? Or do you want to graduate?" My voice cracked at the last question, a wave of sadness building up inside me. I just can't imagine Masaki graduating, Morning Musume just wouldn't be the same without her. At least not yet.

"I love all of you, I love Morning Musume and graduating was never on my mind. I just started hating the rules implied on us." She looked down at her lap and sighed. I didn't say anything, just let her continue. "I just hate the fact that I fell in love and I can't do anything about it since we are not allowed to date."

I could feel a knot form in my throat and nausea hitting me suddenly. "Can't you have a secret relationship just like Fukumura-san and Ikuta-san are having?" I managed to talk even though I feel like fainting any minute now. I just don't like the idea of Masaki being in a relationship.
"You know I get very excited at times and I'm scared I might slip something and go public. I'm not as good as hiding things like PonPon are and I don't want Morning Musume to be in a bad light because of me." She looked at me with a small smile. I could see now in her eyes that she is feeling helpless.
"I miss the excited you, Maa-chan. I also miss the loud and noisy you, which I never thought I would." She let out a small giggle as she heard my words, loosening up the situation a little bit. I could feel myself getting less nauseous and the knot in my throat slowly disappearing.
"I miss myself too sometimes, but I just cope with all the things going on with silence, I guess." The smile on her face persisted, also making me smile. I feel good just knowing that she is able to to talk to me and let everything out.

"Who is that person you love, anyway? Is it a boy? Or a girl? Omg, is it one of us?" She just laughed at my question and stood up, ready to leave.
"Curiosity killed the cat, Saku-chan."
"What? Wait! Tell me, Maa-chan!"

Chapter Text

I can't believe I confessed to Sakura yesterday. Well, I didn't confess my feelings for her but that I am in love with someone. This is happening so quickly and I can't tell her the truth yet. I'm not sure about her feelings for me, or if even she has any, and being rejected is way too painful for me. Especially if she is the one rejecting me.

"Sato Masaki, pay attention to me!" Everyone stopped from dancing upon hearing the stern voice. Erina stopped the music so is just all of us looking to the person that just yelled at me.
"What's the matter, Oda-can?" Everyone in the studio remained silent, not daring to say anything. It is rare to see Sakura angry, let alone furios. And she is beyond furious right now.
"Why aren't you playing along with me?" Sakura is right, I used to do that. I used to flirt with her on stage during concerts, even when we were practicing sometimes. But I stopped doing that lately.
"You know I only flirt with you just for fanservice. We are not in a concert right now, Sakura, so we should just focus on the new girls to teach them the dance moves and stop with this nonsense." I looked at Rio, Mei and Homare who just didn't say anything. I looked at Mizuki for some guidance and approval because of how lost I am. Mizuki did nod her head before speaking up.
"Alright girls! Let's have a break and let Oda-san and Sato-san solve their problem. Come on, now it's not our business. We will continue practicing once the atmosphere here is calm." She and Erina escorted the girls outside, before both of them looking at us worriedly. "We are here to help you two if you can't handle it alone."
"Just remember that some things can't be kept from Mizu and I." Erina winked at us before she and Mizuki closed the door behind them.

"Look at what you did, Sakura."

"Me? I am the one that have been distancing herself from the group, from her friends and especially from me?"
"No but you just exploded because of nothing. This is not a proper behavior for our younger ones." I told her as I went to grab towel to dry off the sweat from my face.
"You just don't seem to understand, do you Masaki?" She sighed as she walked towards the door.
"Understand wh--"
"It doesn't matter anymore, Masaki." It was my turn to get angry right now. My body was moving on its own and ran after her. I grabbed her and pinned her against the nearest wall, looking deeply into her eyes.
"What do you want from me, Sakura? Do you want me to flirt with you? I can do that." I had my hand around her throat, lightly gripping on it. I could feel her tense up but not in an angry way or in a scared way; she seemed to enjoy it. "What if I kiss you right now? Would you like that?" I told her as I brought my hand up to hold her face. "Tell me, Sakura, is this that you want?" I traced her lips with my thumb as my eyes moved from her lips to her eyes and back.

"I... Maa-... chan... I..." I couldn't help but smirk at the fact that she froze underneath me. You aren't that badass as you think you are, right Saku-chan.
"I seems like it's only your mouth that talks. What a shame. I thought that you want me." I was about to let her go when she finally spoke up.
"I do want you... Maa-chan." My face lit up as I heard her voice, but I'm not going to give in yet.
"In what ways do you want me, Saku-chan?" I asked as I circled her checks with my thumbs; I can't actually believe I am this close to her. I think I am going insane by the amount of adrenaline I have in my body. This just feels like a dream that I don't want to be over but I can't let anything happen yet. I am scared for some reason.
"I want to be in your center of attention, I want you to take me seriously, I want you to... kiss me." I smiled at her words and leaned in. I saw her slowly closing her eyes and lean towards me; she's really eager, isn't she?

"I don't think this is the right place. What if someone walks in?" My words only made Sakura angry again. I could feel her pushing me away from her then pinning me against the wall with all of her force.
"Stop playing with me, Masaki." I could see fury in her eyes as she looked directly at me. I can't help but smile at her action, she's just so cute.
"Why don't you kiss me if that's what you want? I'm here, waiting." I closed my eyes and pursed my lips waiting for her to kiss me but it never happened. I could feel the weight of her body slowly backing away from me, making me open my eyes.
"All you do is tease me. I don't want anything anymore." She was about to leave but I grabbed her forearm and pulled her back. My action made her fall into my chest and I instantly hugged her.
"I told you here is not the right place for things like this." I traced her face with my fingers as she was looking at me; she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Well, beside me. I couldn't help myself and leaned in kissing her on the cheek, before pulling away.
"I'll find a way for you to get your ki--" And before I knew, Sakura's lips were on mine.

Chapter Text

"Whaaat?! You kissed Masaki?"
"Can you be more quiet, please?" I told Erina as I looked around us to see if anyone have heard her. We are on a lunch break in the cafeteria but even though Erina and I are sitting alone at a table on the side, I still fear the other girls will hear us.
"Why did you kiss her?" This time Erina lowered her voice, whispering her question. I still can't answer that for myself.

It has been a week since that incident happened with Masaki and I. I just feel so confused about my own feelings that I need some advice and the only person I can trust with this is Erina and Mizuki, but our leader is not having lunch with us today it seems like.
"She have been teasing me, and I just... lost control." Erina giggled upon hearing my answer, making me frown.
"I never knew you are that type of girl, Oda-chan." She said as she took a piece of fruit with her fork and shoved it into her mouth.
"What does that mean?" I'm confused.
"Let me ask you something." She leaned closer to me and started whispering again. "Did you feel a hot fuzzy feeling inside you when she was teasing you?"
"Yes."
"And did you feel your lower parts get all thingly?"
"Lower parts?"
"Your private are-"
"Ikuta-san, stop it with stuff like that." I could feel my cheeks getting hot; I'm probably blushing like crazy. How can Erina say stuff like that so easily.
"What you felt right there was lust, Oda-chan. Your hormones pushed you to kiss her. It's something natural when you like someone." She said nonchalantly like she's talking about the weather or something like that.
"But I don't like Masaki that way." Erina just raised her eyebrow at my statement and crossed her arms to her chest.
"Are you sure about that? Look Oda-chan, sometimes our bodies react the way they do because our minds and hearts tell them to react that certain way, even though sometimes we don't realise that. You don't just kiss someone out of the blue if there is no sexual attraction or love involved. Or better, both."

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"Hm.. I see. Sakura kissed you. Is there a problem about that?" Mizuki said as she sat me down on a chair in our vocal studio. This whole past week that kiss is all I could think about. It was only a peck but I know for sure for me it felt longer than that.
"I'm in love with Sakura, you know? I don't know what to do next. I'm scared, Fuku-san." I told our leader; there's no point in hiding my feelings when it comes to Mizuki. She loves us dearly and she is always willing to help her members anytime of the day or night if we ask. Let alone that she is wise and smart. That's why I am here, I asked for her advice on this whole situation.
"I did figured that out, yes. Your behavior have been rather odd lately, Masaki, especially around Sakura." She grabbed my hand and placed it on her lap as she was quite worried about me. "Does she like you too?"
"I have no idea and that is what's making me feel so uneasy. Now that I know what her lips feel like, how can I think of kissing someone else? I just wish that never happened." I lowered my head, anxiety taking over my whole body and mind.
"Hey hey, don't say such things. She kissed you because she feels attracted to you." The leader asured me, giving me a small smile.
"And what can I do now?"
"Well, first of all, stop teasing her. Second, just do what your heart tells you. Let yourself be guided by your feelings."
"But Fuku-san, the heart can be stupid sometimes. Isn't it better to do what my mind tells me?" I asked her quite confused, scared of what I'll be able to do if I let myself guided by my heart.
"You are correct there, but when it comes to Sakura... She's just so well mannered, kind and innocent. She can't do you harm."
"Well yeah, but still..."
"Just listen to me, Masaki, okay? Just don't overthink things. I know what I'm talking about." The leader winked at me as she offered me her hand in order to stand up.

I guess I'll have to follow my heart then...

Chapter Text

I've been working on my words, on my behavior and on my feeling this past couple of days. Morning musume had 3 days off on which I haven't seen Sakura. After talking with Mizuki about the whole situation with Sakura and after learning some things from our leader, I decided to not force anything with 'my' Oda-chan. I'll just let things flow naturally because I trust myself, and I trust Sakura too. I did realise that she has feelings for me as well; what kind of feelings I still don't know yet but I willing to find out when the right time comes. And the most important thing, I'm not going to tease her anymore. I just did that because of anxiety, I didn't know how to act in those situations. I have never been in these situations before. The closest I've been to someone was with our ex-member Sayashi Riho; we used to practice kissing and experience things like this when we were teenagers. We used each other, well, because we were not allowed boys. Kissing your co-members, let alone dating them was and still is a big no-no, but curiousty hits and things happen. That's why Mizuki and Erina are keeping their relationship secret. They would be screwed if our managers, staff, fans or worse, Tsunku would find out. Only us the curent members and some ex-members know about them.

"You wanted to see me, Maa-chan." Sakura said as she opened the door to the rooftop. I told her earlier today to meet me on the roof after we are done practicing for the day and here she is.
"Come here, Oda-chan." I extended my arms as I was leaning against the railing with my back, inviting her for a hug. She got the point and hugged me, having her arms wrapped around my neck.
"Why did you want me here?" She asked, making me break the hug.
"I just wanted to spend some time with you, alone." I told her as I moved a strand of hair away from her face. I could feel my heart wanting to leave my chest; it's beating so fast I could hear it in my ears.
"Oh, is that so." She had a faint rosy color on her cheeks, thing that I always find cute.

Neither of us dared to say anything; the only thing I could hear beside my insane-going heart, were the cars passing by below us. The only thing I could feel beside all the nervousness inside me, was the warm spring evening breeze. And the only thing I saw was the two pair of eyes looking back at me. Such beautiful dark brown eyes she has, I can feel myself get lost in them. No wonder I fell for her, she has everything a person needs. She has beauty, talent, great character but most importantly, she is the one and only Oda Sakura.

I felt overwhelmed with all of this closeness and all of my feelings and thoughts; I couldn't help but to gently grab her chin and lean in. I closed my eyes as soon as I saw her do the same thing; our lips meeting just milliseconds later. I felt little tingles on my lips as they were captured by hers, and a sharp electric like jolt go through my whole body.

This time it wasn't just a peck, it was more than that; I could tell my the way she was acting. She wrapped her arms around my neck again, giving me no choice but to do the same, but around her waist. I brought her closer and deepened the kiss, moving my lips against her soft ones; she responded with the same eagerness as I am. I just can't get enough of her, but I had to let go in order to catch my breath.

"Maa-chan..." She managed to say between the breaths she took.
"Hm?" Humming was the only thing I could manage to get out of my mouth.
"Can you promise me something?"
"It depends on what is it." Her arms are still around me and so are mine; the sun setting was coloring her face a deep shade of orange as its rays was coming in her direction.
"Promise me that what we have now is going to last. I don't want anyone else to be this close to you."
"I promise." She just smiled at my words and I just cupped her face with both of my hands and gave her another kiss. This time just a short and sweet one. "Is there anything else you want?" She shook her head and broke the hug in order to grab my hands.

"I want only you."

Chapter Text

"Oda-San!"
Yesterday was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. I was awake the whole night just to repeat that moment inside my head. The best part was that every time I thought about it, it felt real. The worst part is that I want us to kiss again. Now.

"Oda-San!!!"
Yesterday's kiss with Masaki was something that I never experienced before. I had my first kiss with our fellow member Nonaka Miki a few years ago, when she confessed that she had a crush on me. I didn't want to make her feel bad so I asked her out on a date and we ended up kissing as the date was over. I realised that moment that Miki wasn't someone I had feelings for, even though I really wanted to give her a chance. I explained everything to Miki and luckily she understood me. We are very close friends now and we never brought up the date ever again, nor told anyone about it. But the kiss with Masaki was different. I felt all sort of things; I felt warmth, I felt secure, I felt like that was the right thing. The thing that felt right for me.

"ODA!!!"

"Yes!" The loud voice startled me, making me come back from my deep thoughts.

"Are you here with us?" Our superior asked as he looked at me. All eyes in the room were looking at me; I could see a mischievous smile appear on the girl's face who was sitting opposite of me.

"Yes. I'm sorry, I didn't sleep well last night!" I apologised to our superior as I tried remembering why are we in a meeting.

"So, are you going to make the photobook with Nonaka, Morito and Kaga?"

"Photobook? What kind?"

"We just discussed about that. Summer is coming up, so a swimsuit photobook at the beach."

"Yes, sure." I mean, I've done plenty of them in order to get used to posing half naked, so one more is not a big deal.

"Great. So, girls we are done with the meeting for today. Take a break before your next practice." Our superior said but before he could leave the conference room, the girl in front of me interrupted him.

"I want to come too. I mean, I want to be part of the photo book as well." Everyone in the room was speachless, including me.

"But Sato-san, you don't participate in these kind of photo shoots anymore." I could tell that our superior was just as surprised as we were to the 10th gen member's request.

"I changed my mind. I want to be part of this one."

"I have to think about that first. We'll talk tomorrow." And that was the only thing our superior said before leaving.

"Hey, hey, Oda-san, what was that?" I was surprised to hear Maria talk. I looked at Mizuki and Erina and they just stood there looking at me. I think they know what is going on.

"Didn't you hear? She's tired. She didn't sleep last night. I wonder why..." Masaki said grinning at me in same mischievous way as earlier. Mizuki and Erina looked at her and then looked at me; 'What happened between the two of you?' was written on both of their faces.

"Are you ok, Oda-san? Do you need some water?" Reina, who was sitting in the chair beside me, placed her hand on my forehead to check on my temperature. "Oh my, you are all hot." Reina said as she gave me a bottle of water that was placed in the middle of the table.

"She is hot indeed..." I heared Masaki say in a low voice; luckily no one heard her because they were concerned about me. Or at least I hope so.

"I'm fine, Rei-chan. Just tired." I told her and the rest of the group, to reassure them that I am fine. I just spaced out, I guess.

"Hey, Masaki, what is all about that? Why did you change your mind about the photo shoot?" Miki asked Masaki as she was still confused.

"I just want to see you in a bikini, Miki-chan." Masaki winked at the 12th gen member before laughing out loud.

"I like the answer but I want the real reason why."

"Hey hey, today it's going to be a long day. Let's have a snack and rest now while we can. Let's go." Our leader saved us from an awkward moment yet again. Thank goodness for that.

We all stood up and followed our leader to the cafeteria, without saying much more. On our way in the hallway, I could feel a hand grab mine and to my surprise it was Masaki. She stopped me and waited a few seconds for the other girls to be further away and she dragged me into the office on our left. Once inside she closed the door and sat down on the chair in front of the desk.

"You are crazy. If we are caught here we are in big trouble." I said as I realised that the office is that of our manager.

"We won't. He is free today." She said as she leaned onto the chair, making herself comfortable.

"What if the cleaning lady walk in?"

"It's 11am. She doest clean this floor until 12pm. Now stop stressing about stuff like that and come here." She made me a sign to come closer to her, which I did. "Sit down." I was taken aback by her words because the only seat available was in the office was already occupied by her. She sighed when she saw that I just stood there doing nothing and grabbed me by the waist, bringing me to sit down on her lap.

"Why did you want to be part of the phone shoot?" I interrupted the silence, as I am still curios about this.

"I want to spend time with you, Saku-chan." She said, resting her head on my back.

"But we are working there, it's not like we have time to play around at the beach." She tighten up her arms around my waist, her chin resting now on my shoulder.

"Do I have any other way to see you? Beside sneaking around in this building like two losers? If we go to a park, or a café, or to places like this, we will be seen. We still live with our parents, so our homes are not an option either. And I can't help myself from holding you and kissing you." Her warm breath was all over my neck and before I knew it, her lips were on my neck as well giving it small kisses. My whole body was on fire, despite the AC being turned on in the whole building.

"We could go on a double date with Fukumura-san and Ikuta-san, so it won't be so obvious." I said between my heavy breathes; I don't know now much I can handle this without doing something even crazier than sneaking around.

Masaki perked up because of my suggestion and lifted me up as she stood up from the chair. I never knew that such skinny girl like her could have this much strength. She placed me to sit on the desk so now I'm facing her; all I could see on her face was excitement.

"Did you just ask me on a date?" She got closer to me and instinctively opened my legs to make her room.

"I did. Let's go on a date, Maa-chan." She didn't respond with words but just by continuing kissing my neck.

"I take... that... as a yes." I could barely talk, she started nibbling and licking my skin moving lower to my collarbone; what a great day to choose wearing a tank top. I found myself holding onto her as her hands started moving underneath my top, caressing my skin and giving me goosebumps. I let myself get carried away by her touches and kisses and laid down on the desk; she leaned in with me but suddenly stopped.

"What's the matter?" I asked her, opening my eyes to look at her. She was on top of me, leaning on her arms onto the desk.

"As much as I want to continue, I can't let this happen in a random office." She stood up straight and offered me a hand in order to sit up myself.

"I agree, but kiss me still." I said, wrapping my arms around her neck. She didn't hasitate and placed her lips on mine; still with the same hunger and eagerness as before. This is what turned on must be, because I can feel myself giving all of me to Masaki. I just want her to do whatever she wants with me.

We continued making out for a couple of more minutes before both of us stopping. She rested her forehead on mine with her eyes still closed, catching her breath. I reached out and grabbed her face, caressing her cheek with my thumb, think that made her back away a little bit in order to look at me.

"Oda-chan, I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" I saw her hasitate for a couple of seconds before taking a deep breath.

"You are the person I ---"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!"

Chapter Text

"Are you two really out of your minds?! What if someone would have walked in on you and see you like that?!" A furious Mizuki was scolding Sakura and I. She took us back to the conference room since that's the only place available for us to talk.

"We are sorry. It won't happen again." Sakura apologised to our leader; her voice was shaking, maybe from embarrassment, maybe from fear, maybe from both.

"Fuku-chan, look. It was my fault. Stop scolding Oda-chan. I was the one that brought her in that office and I am the one who started everything. Just stop scolding her because I'll take it all on me." I told our leader and I lowered my head, looking at the ground. Where I was and where I am now. This is so embarrassing. I lost my mind earlier and I didn't think straight. I didn't think about the responsabilities of my actions. We would be fired right now and we would have said goodbye to our idol life if someone else would have found us. I just thank my guardian angel for taking me out of this crap that I just did.

"Oh, you guys." Mizuki sighed and hugged both of us at the same time. "I could never be angry at neither of you but I just had an anxiety attack. I don't want something bad to happen to you because of some stupid reasons."

"I'm really sorry, Fuku-chan. I didn't think about the responsabilities of my actions." I said as I hugged Mizuki from one side, on the other side of the leader being Sakura.

"I know and I understand what the two of you are feeling. I've been there and it was difficult at first when I started dating Erina." I could feel myself blush as I remembered that Sakura actually asked me on a date. This is something I only dreamed about.

"About dating..." I began saying but Sakura interrupted me.

"Can you and Ikuta-san come with us on our first date? We want to go somewhere nice and we don't want to make it obvious that we are on a date. If we go in a group it won't be looked at as a date, right?" I could tell that Sakura was still embarrassed and shy by the way she was talking to Mizuki, thing that made the leader break the hug and giggle.

"Well, you got a point there Oda-chan. But if we come with you it won't be special for you and Maa-chan."

"But we don't have any other options, Fuku-chan. We thought of everything." I told our leader as I leaned against the wall.

"I can give you my apartment for a day." Mizuki offered, making both me and Sakura gasp in surprise.

"But, Fukumura-san, we---"

"You can, Oda-chan. I have a whole collection of movies and a playstation. You can also cook together if you want. It will be fun." Mizuki smiled brightly, almost like a proud mom that saw her kids go on a date for the first time.

"But I never went on a date before and I don't know what to do. Can't you and Erina come along?" I asked Mizuki, because I have no idea how a date is supposed to be. You do what? You talk about what? Watching a movie? I might fall asleep. And when it comes at video games and cooking, I suck at both.

"Just be you, Masaki and let everything come naturally. I bet it's Oda-chan's first date as well." Mizuki said, trying to encourage me, but what Sakura said next did the total opposite.

"This won't be my first date actually."

"Eeeeh?! Who did you date before, Sakura?" Mizuki was surprised, but I was disappointed. All this time I thought I am the first person to date her.

"Miki-chan..." Sakura said, trying to avoid making eye contact with both me and Mizuki. "But it's not what is sounds like. I was just--"

"Baby, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. You just walked away like that." Out of the nowhere Erina entered the conference room and hugged her girlfriend. Mizuki gave her a quick hug before looking at Sakura and I. Miki, eh? Out of all the people, Miki? Really?

I never really had a bond with Miki, to be honest. We rarely talk and even if that happens it's because of work. I do respect her as a Morning Musume member and as a co-worker, but that's it.

I do remember after the 12th generation was introduced as new Morning Musume members, I got along almost immediately with Maria, then slowly with Akane and Haruna, but never with Miki. Then I noticed after awhile all this attention she was giving Sakura. Where Sakura was, there was Miki as well. I realised then that I had feelings for Sakura because of all the jealousy I felt. I was jealous on Miki for being so close to Sakura. They are still close, that's what is bothering me. And now that I know that they have dated, I just feel like I am in the middle. I don't know what to do anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Maa-chan, are you ok?" We just finished our dance practice for today, and I went to get my towel to wipe my face from all the sweat.

"I'm fine, Sakura." I told the girl I made out with just hours ago, but right now I just feel awful. The whole day I couldn't take the imagine of Sakura and Miki dating out of my head. It infuriates me and make me regret even making a move on Sakura. I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't accuse Sakura for anything, I can feel that she wants me just as much as I do, but what if she has feelings for Miki and all of this is just her being horny over me. I don't want to be anyone's toy. I just feel so helpless and depressed.

"You don't seem to be fine." She brought her hand up to my face, tucking the hair that covered my face behind my ear.

"I am fine, Sakura. Trust me." I grabbed her hand away from my face and gave her hand a small peck. I could feel all of the eyes in the studio looking at us.

"But do you trust me, Maa-chan?" She asked as she looked directly into my eyes and I could see nothing but honesty. I was too harsh earlier to judge her, right? But knowing that Miki is involved in this whole situation, just doesn't fit right. I don't want any 'ex-girlfriend' jealousy between Sakura and I. And yet her eyes, her eyes carry so much honesty and faith in me that doubting her is something I should never think about. Yet, here I am feeling doubtful.

"I trust you, Saku-chan."

"Thank you." She planted a small kiss on my cheek, never letting go of my hand. I would have been cool with this interaction with her but the other twelve pair of eyes looking at us just makes me feel shy and uncomfortable. You can say that I'm blushing.

"Kyaaaaa! That was the cutest thing I have even seen! Someone please hold me before I faint!" I can agree on that, Maria. I feel like fainting as well.

Chapter Text

"Why am I so nervous?" I asked Erina on our way to Mizuki's house. We made plans a couple of days ago and we decided that Masaki should go to Mizuki's house before Erina and I could get there. I am nervous yet excited about this date; I don't know what to expect from today.

"Have you been thinking about all the things I told you?." Erina asked as soon as we got out of the taxi in front of Mizuki's apartement complex. I looked up at the tall building, only thinking that Masaki is in there waiting for me.

"I have been thinking about what you said, Ikuta-san, and I think I like her." I sincerely told Erina; I have also been thinking about Masaki a lot. I can tell that she likes me as well but I want to be sure about my own feelings before I make a move. I do like her but something inside of me is stopping me. I am just scared to ask her to be my girlfriend, even though it won't change much; we would still be the way we are now, just the label would be different.

"You are not sure yet, eh?" Erina faced me after selecting the number on the elevator panel of the floor we were supposed to be on. "Look, Oda-chan. I know it can be difficult figuring out your feelings on your own, you need to talk to Masaki about this as well. There is some sort of connection between the two of you, so you'll either end up being her lover or her f*ck buddy. You just have to decide which one works the best for you and Masaki."

"I know for sure that I don't want the second option." I told the older woman as we got off the elevator.

"Just come to me whenever you want to talk about your feelings, okay? Now, here we go." Seconds after Erina rang the door bell, a very exited Mizuki opened the door.

"Hello, my one and only!" She threw her arms around Erina and hugged her; an 'Hello baby' with the same excitement was coming from the other 9th gen member as well. I could see a neutral faced Masaki inside in the hallway, not moving nor saying anything.

"Hello, Oda-chan. Come inside and make yourself at home." I entered the apartement after greeting our leader and changed my shoes with some indoor slippers before going to Masaki to hug her. She welcomed me in her arms with a warm hug, but I still feel like something is off.

"You girls go to the livingroom. Maa-chan and I made some snacks and drinks. We are going to grab them." The leader entered the kitchen followed by Masaki who just broke the hug without saying anything. I couldn't do anything about it yet so I followed Erina into the livingroom where both of us sat down on the couch.

"What is wrong with her?" Erina looked at me surprised, but I don't know what to say because I have no answer.

"Do you think she is alright?" I asked her concerned; I am really worried about Masaki now. I just wish to know what is going on inside her mind.

"I don't know. Later, you should talk to her. Mizuki and I will give you some privacy." I just sighed at Erina's words and looked down at my lap. I don't know what to ask her, and I don't want to make her mad. "Hey baby! Come with those snacks already, I am starving."

"Hey hey, we are here. Oda-chan, Maa-chan said you like strawberries so we made some strawberry milkshake." Mizuki entered the livingroom with a tray in her hands with different kinds of snacks and cut up fruits, while Masaki was carrying the tray with the drinks. They both put their respective trays on the coffee table before plopping down on the couch. Mizuki beside Erina and Masaki beside me.

"Thank you, Fukumura-san but you shouldn't have to." I thanked our leader for the work and energy she put in preparing all of this but she just shook her head.

"Masaki did all of it. She barely let me touch  anything." I was pleasantly surprised by this because I know how much Masaki hates preparing food related things. She used to always be so thankful for living with her mom because she said she would starve if she would live alone.

I hugged the girl sitting beside me and yet again her arms were engulfing me with warmth. I said a faint 'thank you, Maa-chan' as I nuzzled my head in the crook of her neck. She hummed as a response, giving me a small kiss on the top of my head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day went by just fine. At some point Masaki loosened up and started smiling and joking around with the three of us. We played some games, watched a romantic movie to Erina's request; we all shed some tears at the part where the man left and the girl was all by herself. I saw the PonPon duo being overly clingy and lovey dovey to each other the whole day but I can't blame them, I would have done the same if Masaki would have been my girlfriend. All I can say is that the date is going just right.

"Maa-chan, are you sleeping?" I asked the girl who was laying in the couch. I took this opportunity and stroked her head since she's using my lap as a pillow. I never really realised how beautiful Masaki is until recently. I found myself countless of times admiring her while we were practicing. She has charisma and beauty; I watched her change over the years from a loud and obnoxious teen to an elegant and outstanding woman. She's not as playful as she used to be, but she gained so much confidence and she knows it. She's presenting herself everywhere like she is the boss, yet she has a humble and kind side to her. She doesn't talk unasked like she used to; she's more controlled and well mannered with her words and actions. And now, having her here with me, I feel lucky. Not many people got the chance to be this close to her, yet here I am. She chose me for some reasons and I am willing to take my chance.

"I'm not sleeping." She turned on her back and looked at me, still in the laying down position. "What's the matter, Saku-chan?" She used to be invested in the TV show she was watching; we are waiting for Mizuki and Erina to return. They went to do some shopping for dinner and now Masaki and I have the whole apartment for ourselves.

"I just want to talk to you." She immediately sat up straight upon hearing my voice and looked at me concerned.

"Is there any problem?"

"You've been acting kind of weird the first part of the day. I just want to know why." I grabbed her hand and interlocked my fingers with hers; she immediately leaned in and gave me a small kiss.

"I just missed you."

"I missed you too." I know that there's something more to it, I can feel that something is still off with her.

"Saku-chan, will there be a second date?" She asked in a cute way and I couldn't resist anymore. I pressed my lips on hers as hard as I could and laid her down. I could feel her arms around me as I was on top of her. I left her lips and went to her jawline, nibbling on her skin, before making my way to her neck. As soon as my lips touched her skin, I heard her moan. And that was it for me, I was weak.

"You are so perfect, Maa-chan." I lifted myself up in my arms so I can take a look at her and all I could see the same mischievous smile I have grown to love. She flipped us over so she was the on top this time.

"I like it better this way." She said before beginning to attack my lips with her own. Her hands were all over me, feeling every inch of my body with them. I could feel nothing but pure pleasure but this is not what I want from her, so I had had to stop before this could go any further.

"Maa-chan, plase stop." She did as I said and sat up straight, I followed after her. "Please don't get mad but this is happening too soon. I like you a lot but I am not sure about my feelings yet. I love everything that you do to me, I love spending time with you and I love the way you make me feel, but I'm not sure yet about what is happening here." My confession made the other girl scoff. She looked at me with a sad smile; she was almost tearing up as well.

"So, you didn't make up your mind between me and Miki, eh?"

"What does Miki have to do with any of this? I don't understand--"

"Oda-chan, Maa-chan, we are back." What a bad timing these two women have.

"I have to go." The girl stood up from the couch, ignoring me and ignoring the other two members as well. She got her shoes on and grabbed her bag and left without saying anything else.

"Eh, Maa-chan? What is wrong with you?" I want to know the same thing, Ikuta-san.

Chapter Text

I can't handle this woman anymore, I swear to God. I've tried calling her, I texted her countless of times, and now when I was supposed to meet her, she left early. Kaede, Chisaki, Miki, Masaki and I were supposed to meet up at the studio for a short meeting before our managers could drive us to the beach before for the photo shoot. And guess which one of us left early for the beach? The one and only Sato Masaki. She's been ignoring me since that date at Mizuki's house just because of Miki? I still don't understand what she meant by choosing between Miki and her, you can clearly tell the I want her because of how desperate I am to get hold of her.

"Chill Saku, she probably didn't want us to see her pose in bikini. You know it's not her thing." Miki, who was sitting next to me in the van, said.

"How can I be chill when she's been ignoring me? I don't care that she left early today, I just want to know why doesn't she want to face me." I told her, making the other two girls think about the situation.

"Did you and Sato-san get into an argument before?" Chisaki asked calmly.

"No, we were just talking when she suddenly left our da--... Fukumura-san's house." It almost slipped our my mouth that Masaki and I were on a date. I am so angry, I feel like I could explode any moment.

"Well, you know how Masaki is, she's unpredictable. You can never really tell what's on her mind or what is her next action." Kaede said, taking one of her ear buds out so she can hear us.

"That's exactly what I want to figure out Kaedi, what's on her mind." I told the short haired woman; I just can't wait to arrive at the beach already.

"Maybe she's struggling with some stuff on her own. I know you are mad but don't be so harsh on her when you get the chance to talk to her." Miki said and she gave me small encouraging smile.

"Miki-chan is right. We all have some stuff we don't tell each other about." Kaede said and suddenly her face turned red as she saw Chisaki grinning at her. "Don't you dare, Chii-chan!"

"Oh, look. Maria just texted me asking if we arrived." Chisaki smiled in a teasing way and I could see Kaede getting more and more embarrassed.

"What does Makino want anyway?" Miki asked Chisaki confused.

"Just leave them alone. It's obvious for me what is happening. Good luck, Kaedi." I smiled at the 13th gen member, Miki imediatly understanding the whole sitiation.

"Oh, I get it... But you are kinda dumb, Sakura. I hope you know that."

"Eeeeh? Why are you saying that?" I could hear the 13th and 14th members giggling because of Miki's comment from earlier.

"You can figure other people out but can't figure out your 'own'." Miki just winked at me before making herself more comfortable in her seat. "Wake me up when we get there, and tell Makino that Sakura and I said hi."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrived at the beach after an hour or so in which we just enjoy some rest. Once there, we hurried to get to the location where the photoshoot was supposed to take place. There were two big white tents assambled on the sand, one where the makeup artists and hairstylists were and one serving as a changing room. We all went straight to get our makeup and hair done, then to the changing tent to get ourselves in our respective swimsuits.

"Oh, wow."

"Is that...?"

"Damn, she's hot." I can't agree with you more, Miki.

There was Masaki, posing in the sexiest way you could ever imagine. Her shoulder length dark brown hair was styled to look like it was messy, she was wearing a simple two piece black bikini, and her pose... She was kneeling with her legs wide open, one arm was over her head while the other was gently resting on her face, giving us a view of her whole body.

"Ok, Sato. Next pose." The photographer said as he took a few seconds for the woman to change her pose.

She was still kneeling but she bend down, having her cleavage shown and her butt up in the air. The fact that there a few sweat drops on her arms and back weren't helping me at all.

"I understand now why you are so desperate after her. I would be the same." Miki whispered to me so the other two girls won't hear.

"What do you mean?" I just hope this whole 'situation-ship' that I have with Masaki won't be revealed to the other members this soon.

"Go after her." Miki told me, pointing at Masaki who was now wrapped in a towel, bowing down to the crew. She smiled and waved at Chisaki and Kaede but totally ignored me and Miki, as she was going to the changing tent. "Go already -- Yes, yes. I'm coming." The photographer called Miki to be the next and she left me with the other two members.

"I'll be back. I forgot where I left my bag." I told Chisaki and Kaede and left before they could say anything.

Once in front of the tent I took a deep breath before entering. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I'm just--

"I know you are there, Oda-chan. Come in." I froze in place as I heard Masaki's voice coming from inside. I took another deep breath and entered. "Put this around you." She handed me a towel and I was confused. She herself was dressed in a white summer dress and some sandals. "I don't want people to stare at you for long, especially dressed like that." I did as she told me and put the towel around me. "I guess you're here to talk. Talk then."

"Why are you being like this?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." She was acting cold, and I don't like it.

"Don't make me feel like a fool for trying to talk to you."

"Then don't say anything and go back to Miki so you won't have to feel like a fool."

"This is about me and you, Maa-chan. Miki has nothing to do with this." I think I'm going insane. I just feel like I want to cry.

"I don't like being played, you know? You used to date Miki and you still are very close to her. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me from the beginning." Her face had no expression on it, making the whole discussion ten times worse.

"Because I didn't see the point in telling you about her. I have nothing to do with Miki anymore." I could feel tears falling down my face; I just can't take it anymore. I want Maa-chan back, I want her warmth back.

"Does she knows that? Or is she still into you?"

"You are hurting me, Maa-chan. You said you trust me." I brought my hands up to my face, I could feel myself chocking on my tears.

"I am more hurt than you could ever imagine. I have feelings for you for so long, I saw how close you two were, too close to be just friends. But thought nothing of it and I continued loving you from a distance without anyone knowing. And after 3 years you come out of nowhere and ask for my attention? And then kiss me? And make me feel like I finally have the love of my life in my reach only to realise that you are further away from me than you were before. You don't understand how hard and painful it is to suffer in silance." Her voice cracked in the middle of her confession; hearing her voice weak made my heart sink in the pit on my stomach, making me collapse on my knees.

"I only want you, Maa-chan... I... love you." My voice was raspy and I could barely breath anymore. I just want to disappear from this earth.

"Get rid of her then." She said with the same coldness, before walking past me and exiting the tent. Why does she never listens to me? Why is she always so stubborn? Why does this have to hurt so much? Why doesn't she trust me? Just why? 

I heard noise and voices coming from outside the tent but my mind was way too blurry to comprehend what was happening.

"Oh my god, Oda-san! What happened?" I could tell by the voice that Chisaki was the first to enter the tent, followed by Miki and lastly Kaede.

"She just ran off again." Kaede said as she sat down beside me together with the other two members. I grabbed the closest person to me and I hugged them; I could tell it was Miki from her scent. Without hesitation she hugged me back, consoling me by stroking my back up and down.

"I promise you won't cry because of her ever again, Sakura. I promise."

Chapter Text

'11:30pm
Meet me on the playground down your street. I don't accept a refuse.
-Miki'

Ehh? What does she want this late anyway? Miki just texted me a couple of minutes ago and to be honest I don't want to meet her. I just feel so horrible about the things I've done and I've said to Sakura. I left her crying there on the beach earlier today and quickly ran off. I just took the first train and came home. I am in big trouble with the managers for acting like that but there's nothing I could do. I didn't want to face Sakura after behaving the way I did. I feel like a monster.

"You're finally here." Miki said as she soon as she saw me sitting down on the swing next to hers. I just grabbed whatever clothes I had in my reach and with my sneakers on, I came running down the street towards the playground. That just contradicts what I said earlier, didn't it? Oh well...

"I'm sorry, Miki-chan." I apologised to the other woman; I know she didn't do anything wrong. Neither did Sakura. I am at fault for this whole drama because of my overthinking.

"You don't have to apologise to me. Sakura... She's feeling awful. We had to reschedule the rest of the photo shoot for another day because she couldn't work in the state she was in and you... just ran away." Miki said as she stood up. "Let's go for a walk." I did as she said and she started walking down the street.

"I know... Fuku-chan called me earlier today and told me everything that happened after I left. Sakura told her everything."

"Well, we all know everything now." I was surprised by her words; did she really tell everybody about us? "We had a meeting with just us the members and we discussed about some things. Without you and Sakura, since you two needed time for yourselves."

"What does that mean?"

"We agreed on not keeping secrets from each other anymore. This is why we were in such a big misunderstanding. Fukumura-san and Ikuta-san explained everything going on between the two of you." I kept silent, knowing that I am the only one to blame. I made a fuss out of something I that wasn't even real.

"You never dated Sakura officially, right?" I asked her, even though I already figured out the whole situation.

"Never. I had a crush on her after I debuted and she asked me out. She figured that she can't return my feelings, so we decided to be just friends. Another person has my heart now anyway. And this one, I want to keep forever." She proudly showed me her phone; there was a cute selfie of her and Akane on the lockscreen. I couldn't help but stop the girl from walking and hugged her as tears started falling down from my eyes. I just feel so overwhelmed by everything.

"Hey now, why are you crying?" She hugged me back and pat my back.

"I just feel happy, and relieved." She hugged me tighter and so did I. "I am so happy for you, Miki-chan." I never really thought that she had something going on with Akane. I don't know why I am so sensitive right now but I feel like I could cry because of anything, eighter of it's a bad thing or good thing.

"You know who else went on a date today?"

"... Who?"

"Kaga finally asked Makino out. Those two have been all over each other for the past few months."

"Maria-chan?" I started sobbing even harder, knowing that the only member I considered as my baby sister isn't a baby anymore. I am just so overwhelmed with joy that everything is on the right track now, and that everyone is happy.

"Geez, you're such a cry baby. But let it all out. You have to get yourself ready to talk to Sakura."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miki walked me home, and said her goodbyes; I just bowed countless of times and apologise for my mistakes and for my misunderstanding. She brushed it off like nothing happened and told me to just get ready and go to Sakura's house tonight. It was past midnight when she told me that, but she said it's ok and Sakura will be pleasantly surprise to see me after all the crying and pain that she's been through today.

So here I am, in front of her house. I just got out of the taxi and I could see that her whole house was in pitch darkness. I hesitated a few minutes to knock on the door in case her mom or her siblings are sleeping, but after a few deep breaths in which I gathered up the courage, I knocked on the door. But no-one answered. I knocked again and again, still  nothing. I turned around and started walking down the front yard; I think I'll come back again tomorrow when someone will be awake.

"Maa-chan?" Just as I was about to walk down the street to the nearest taxi station, I heard her voice. She was peeking from inside through the cracked door. I couldn't see her face properly because of the darkness, but I could tell it was her.

"Yes, it's me." I said as I made a few steps towards the house but I got stopped before I could reach it. Sakura fully opened the door and came running to me. She hugged me tightly and upon the contact with her body, I started crying. I wrapped my arms around her; I will never let go of her ever again. I could hear her breathing heavily as she started crying as well.

"Why are you here?" She broke the hug and cupped by face, whipping away the tears that kept falling.

"I came to apologies... And to make things right... Please don't hate me... I know I am a horrible person but... I was scared... And I was selfish and... I couldn't think straight and--"

"Seeing you cry is more painful than anything. Please stop." I took a few moments to calm myself down and to get my breath back. She started carresing my face and I could feel all the warmth and love that she has for me. "I hate seeing you cry, Maa-chan. This is so not you." I couldn't help but smile hearing her; her words gave me courage. I am never this emotional -well except earlier with Miki but we will not talk about that again- but she is making me feel this way. I have a weakness when it comes to her, you can say.

"Oda-chan... Odango--" I couldn't even finish my words because she pressed her lips on mine. It was a simple and sweet kiss, unlike the heated lustfull kisses we had before. I like this one much more.

"You haven't call me by that nickname in such a long time." She was smiling at me, her face has lightened up upon hearing the nickname I gave her years ago.

"I love you, Odango. I--" She stopped me from talking again by giving me another small kiss.

"I don't need more explanation. Those words are enough for me. I do love you too, Maa-chan. I am sorry if I gave you a wrong impression about my feelings. I am sure now and I know what I want." I smiled after hearing her words, understanding what she means by them. "Come on in." She grabbed my hand and lead me inside her house, directly to the other side of it. The whole house was in pitch darkness, I could see a few pairs of curios eyes glowing in the dark as we passed the living room; it's probably her cats. I suddenly felt a bit nervous about being here in her personal space, though I know I shouldn't be. I watched her close the door to her bedroom behind us and turn on a lamp before going to her wardrobe; I just realised how cute she is in her light pink pijamas. She handed me a white t-shirt and a pair of grey shorts, probably telling me to get myself comfortable and to relax. I did as she intended me to do, feeling a wave of heat creeping up my cheeks as I was only in my underwear and bra. I saw a coy smile playing on her lips as she was looking at me change, but I chose to ignore it. I am too shy to say anything.

"Are you sleepy?" She asked as her eyes were still glued on me, but I couldn't bring myself to say a word. "Come here, Maa-chan." She sat down on her bed and extended her hand, which I gladly took and sat down as well.

I never really planned to stay the night, yet alone sleep in the same bed as she is, but I guess I have no choice. Not that I'm complaining, I just know that I won't be able to sleep knowing that I have her beside me. I'm not used to share beds with anyone since I'm a chaotic sleeper, but I will have to get used to stuff like these. I actually plan on bringing her to my house now that everything is settled down and maybe reintroduce her to my parents, not as a co-worker or a Morning Musume member but as Sato Masaki's girlfriend. And how beautiful that sounds. Oda Sakura is Sato Masaki's girlfriend.

"Maa-chan, did you hear anything I told you?" I snapped back to my senses as I heard Sakura's sweet voice.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking. What did you say?" I looked at her and she started giggling. "What's so funny?"

"I'm here, stop thinking about me, silly." She grabbed both of my hands and pulled me towards her, making both of us fall onto the bed.

"How did you know I was thinking about you?" We were both laying on our backs beside each others, looking up the dim lit ceiling. I took a glance to my side to see her; she was looking back at me.

"You have this look on your face every time I'm in the same room as you. Like you are in love or something." She rolled over to her side and started giggling; I know too well what is she talking about.

"I wish you would have noticed that earlier. 2-3 years ago maybe. We could have been like this a long time ago."

"I wish that too. But I'm happy to be here with you tonight." She rolled over even more and now she is cuddling me. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her head, as she was resting it on my chest.

"I am happy too."

"I can tell. Your heart is about to explode."

"I am just nervous, Odango. I never really thought I might end up with you like this. It feels surreal." My words made her bring herself up to look at me. She then leaned in and kissed me, slowly and gently.

"Everything that is happening is real. All these kisses I'm giving you. All these moments and touches. All these words I'm telling you. All these beats my heart are making for you. Everything is real, Maa-chan."

"Everything is real, eh?"

Chapter Text

"What happened yesterday is something I cannot comprehend and accept. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable. I hope you have great excuses." Our superior said in an angry and disappointed voice. "Especially you Sato-san. I know you are a wild kid but I think you got to an age where you need to think about consequences and responsibilities. There are members in this group that look up to you and consider you a role model, so you should act like one. What kind of exemple are you giving to your juniors with behaviours such as yesterday?"

"I am sorry. I promise it won't happen again." I apologised to the superior as I bowed my head.

"You don't need to apologise to me. You need to apologise to your group for making them redo all the photo shoot."

"I am sorry, everybody. Nonaka-san, Kaga-san, Morito-san, Odang-- Oda-san, I hope you forgive me for my actions and let's work hard together on that photobook." I could see nothing but a laid back and chill look on all of our members; they had that meeting yesterday without me and Sakura so they are just fine with everything. "Fukumura-san, I'm sorry if I ever disappointed you and I apologise to the 15'th gen girls as well. Please don't do the same as I did, be wise and work hard no matter what." I told my whole speech in front of them, I saw Erina trying to hold her laughter, knowing too well I'm only doing this because our superior made me. We are like family and this kind of speaking is not used between us.

"We just want for you to think before acting out something, Sato-san." Mizuki gave me a small wink, making me feel a little bit better knowing that they understand me.

"I know but the situation was just too much too handle."

"I know, I know. I'm just saying you need to think logically." Mizuki said and Miki butted in immediately.

"Fukumura-san is right. And also, ask around if you are not certain about something." Miki said in a teasing way; I know she is referring to the fact that I should have talked with her about Sakura before jumping to conclusion on my own.

"I know. I'm sorry, Miki-chan." I told Miki and from the corner of my eyes I saw our superior being confused, not knowing that are we talking about.

"Ok, good enough. Meeting is off. Go back to your schedules and be nice. No more trouble and fights, Sato-san, Oda-san." He gave Sakura and I a stern and serious look before standing up and exiting the conference room. As soon as he was gone, we all burst into laughing.

"I never in my life ever saw Masaki this serious." Erina couldn't help but pat my back as she continued laughing.

"Masaki who? I am the award winning actress Sato Masaki." I played along and brushed of the dirt from my shoulder, making everyone laugh again.

"Are you guys doing fine, though?" Our always kind Ayumi asked Sakura and I with a hint of worry in her voice.

"We are, Ayumin. We just made it up last night." I told her as I looked at Sakura. She shyly nodded her head and grabbed my hand.

"How did you 'made it up'?" I saw a curious yet cheeky smile playing on Maria's face.

"Mariaaaaa!"

"What?! I want to know what to do if I ever get into an argument with this cutie." She placed her arm around Kaede's shoulder and pinched the now red cheeks of the 13th gen member. "My God, how can I resist you if you are this cute?" Maria leaned in to kiss Kaede but the older woman gently pushed her away.

"Not here, Makki-chan. It's embarrassing." Kaede's face was redder than ever, it's cute how shy is about her and Maria.

"Well, we just had a good talk and that was pretty much it. I think communication is always the key." Sakura said as she looked at me to which I just nodded my head.

"So are you guys like in a relationship now?" Akane asked, to which I couldn't help but smile as I remembered what Miki said yesterday.

"We never really discussed that. Everything at its own time. What about you and Miki-chan?" I asked the two 12th gen members and I could see a proud and happy smile on both of their faces.

"We actually have been together for some time now. I think a month maybe." Akane said looking lovingly at Miki.

"Whaaat? When are you going to ask me to be your girlfriend, Kaedi?" Maria asked Kaede who just couldn't help but giggle.

"Everything at its own time, Makki." Maria sulked at Kaede's response, we all laughed at their cuteness.

"I am really happy for all of you. Finally Mizupon and I won't pe the only 'couple' around." Erina gave all of us a warm smile, followed by our leader who was silent most of the time. "We all should celebrate."

"Yes! We are all free this weekend so let's have fun together." Mizuki said as she was looking at each one of us for a response.

"Yeah, we should rent a big karaoke room for Saturday evening and enjoy our time." Ayumi said, making us all agree with her idea.

"You should bring Sayashi along too." My heart just stopped after hearing Sayashi Riho's name being said. What does she have to do with this anyway. She's not part of the group anymore.

"Whaaat? Sayashi-san?" The newer generation exclaimed, just as surprised as me about the ex member being mentioned.

"Hey hey now. Riho doesn't have to be included here. Let's make this an outing just between us, the current members." Ayumi told Erina, who mentioned earlier about her generation mate, and I could agree more with her.

"She's your girlfriend though, Ayumi."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Odango, wait up!" I heard Masaki's voice calling for me.

We just finished recording some new music for today and I can't wait to go home and relax for a little while. I'm tired and all the information I found out today about our members really made me think about stuff. I never really imagined so many of us being involved with each other romantically. Well, I kind of understand why since we aren't allowed to even think about boys or girls or anything like that. We only must concentrate on work and on ourselves. But I guess, being at the age you long for someone to be there for you more than just a friend, can make you fall for your co-members. And I think that happened for most of us.

"What is it, Maa-chan?" I asked the girl as I stopped in the middle of the hallway to talk to her. All of us were told by Mizuki to just act normal like nothing is happening between us, so we don't get caught. We of course are sometimes lovey dovey during breaks or during lunch when there are no superiors, voice coaches, choreographers or other staff around us, it's just natural to be that way when you love someone. But we need to be cautious.

"Wanna come home with me?"

"To your house, you mean?"

"Yes. I've been thinking you should come since I spent last night at yours. My parents and my sisters are not at home anyway." I looked around to make sure there's no-one else in the hallway and I kissed her. She kissed me back with no hesitation and I know that she got my point.

"I'd love to." I broke the kiss and I looked her straight in the eyes. She smiled and grabbed my hand, leading me out of the building.

We said goodbye to the rest of the members and after a 20 minute taxi ride, we arrived at her house. I've never really been to her house before even though I was invited a few times. I am a quiet and shy person you can say, so going to people's houses is not something I'm comfortable with.

"Are you hungry? Mom made some food for us before going out." Masaki said as soon as we entered the house.

"Did you tell your mom that you are bringing me here?" I was quite surprised by her words, a wave of shyness coming over me.

"I did. She was excited when I told her so she said she's going to cook for us before leaving." She grabbed my hand and lead me to the kitchen where she made me sit down at the table.

"How did you know beforehand that I'll accept to come here?" I asked curiously as I watched her turn on the stove. She placed the pots from the counter on the burning stove, to heat up the food I supposed.

"I know you can't refuse me. You can't resist me either." She said as she was stirring in one of the pots with a wooden spoon. I stood up and hugged her from behind, resting my head on her back. The small stirring movements of her arm was bumping against my arm, so I grabbed the spoon and put it down.

"You know me too well already." My words made her turn around and face me, and seeing her face made me blush for some reason.

"Of course I know you, Odango. You are the only thing I can think about." She told me as she brought her hand up to my face. She placed her hand to the side of my face and with her thumb she was tracing my jawline. I could feel like I'm melting under her touch, yet I was frozen in place." How can someone be this perfect? I can't believe that you are actually mine."

"I am far from perfect, but I can see that in you too. I think that means we are perfect for each other." I sincerely told her as I kept my eyes glued to hers. Did I ever tell you how beautiful Maa-chan's eyes are? I can feel myself getting lost in them every time we lock eyes, and I feel all fuzzy on the inside. It feels so right being with her and spending time with her. It feels so right being kissed and touched by her. It feels so right loving her and being loved by her.

"I lost you there for a moment." Masaki begin giggling as I was still like a statue this whole time, probably spacing out. "Were you thinking about me?"

"Who else would I be thinking about? No, don't answer that." I said as soon I saw a teasing smile in her face; I know she was about to make a joke about Miki and I am not in mood for stuff like that even if its just a joke.

We ended up in her bedroom after dinner. Not in that way, don't be naughty. Masaki's mom made such delicious food that we ate maybe too much for our own good. So after our meal, we had the need to lay down. And here we are, laying down on her bed, not saying anything. I actually like these kind of silent moments between us, even though I hated when she was silent before. I think we can actually comunicate in silence too. I know it sounds weird, but I feel like I know what she's thinking about, and the other way around.

"Odango..."

"Yes, Maa-chan."

"Come closer, I want to feel you." I did as she asked me to; I cuddled up against her having half of my body on top of hers.

Just like yesterday I could hear her heart thumping inside her chest at an insane speed, giving me no choice but to bring myself up on my elbows to talk to her.

"Are you ok?"

"I am... I just..."

"Tell me, Maa-chan. What is it?" I could actually feel my own heart beating rapidly, as I found herself looking at me in an odd way. Not really that odd, but I don't know how to explain it.

"I don't know if I can resist you anymore." I understood pretty quickly what she wants after hearing her voice. She's turned on.

"I am yours. You can do whatever you please to and with me. It's not like we didn't almost get there before."

"Yeah, but we never actually got that far before. And I don't know what to do." I could see a pink tint on her face as she was blushing. I can't believe how innocent she actually is. After all the kisses and touches she initiated before, she still doesn't know what to do after that. This is kind of cute actually.

"Everything you did before was perfect. Let yourself be guided by--" And in no time her lips were pressed against mine. I gave in and let myself to her guidance, since I have no idea what am I supposed to do either.

She was on top of me now, lips hungrily dancing together, hands tracing, feeling, groping each other's bodies. I managed to slip my hand around her and started to tug on her bra, trying to open it underneath her shirt. She stopped immediately as she felt that.

"Odango, are you sure about this? I don't want to pressure you with anything." Her lips parted from mine and I could feel a strange wave of coldness. I tried to get myself together, being this carried away by something is not typically me.

"I am more sure than I ever was. Let me help you with those." I said as I grabbed her shirt, telling her with my action that I want every garment from her body off. She gave me a small smile, still a little bit shy but I can't blame her that. I feel a little bit shy as well.

"Odango..."

"Stop talking now and let me love you."

Chapter Text

It's Saturday and today we will have that outing we planned earlier this week. All of us had a full busy schedule the past couple of days so a bit of time off and a hang out with your friends would sound just perfect, right? Well, not really. Sayashi Riho is going to be there and I can't keep my mind off of that fact. And on top of that, she and Ayumi are together? Since when?

Let me be honest and explain everything to you. As you may know Riho and I had a thing going on in the past. Beside the making out sessions we had quite often, I think there might have been also some feelings involved. I used to be head over heels for Riho but she left suddenly. She gratuated without telling any of us. The worst part was that we found out about her graduation from our managers when we were planning a concert. I quote 'Oh, by the way. This concert has to be a special one because it's Sayashi-san's graduation concert' was something none of us expected. We all felt hurt about her leaving, especially me but we couldn't do anything about it. It was her decision and we all respected it.

On Riho's end, I couldn't really figure out what was going on. I know for sure she had feelings for me as well because she was always clingy and needy only with me out of all the members. She also made me feel pretty special, especially the day after the concert. She came to my house with flowers and gifts and told me her plans for the future and to not wait for her. At that moment I never really understood what all of the meant, but a few months in of her being gone, I realised. She's not going to come back to Japan. She just gave me flowers and gifts as a way to tell me that we are over. We have never been in a relationship nor dated, but we sure acted like a couple sometimes. With time, I made myself believe those were just teenager hormonons messing around with us, which it mostly was. My feelings for her started fading away as years passed by, and totally forgot about her existance but for things to get worse, I started feeling lonely. I was growing up and I started questioning life. My life, other's life, life in general.

It was somewhere around early 2018 when I started noticing something weird about me. I've been admiring Sakura more that I should have been. At first I kept convincing myself that it was her talent, her voice, her agility when dancing but soon I realised, what I felt on the inside was the exact same feeling I had with Riho. I was mortified about having to go back and be so keen about somebody again. Plus, Sakura have always been the private person kind of type. She was and still is very focused on her work, she is in her lane, in her own little bubble of peace, so who was I to try to infiltrate in her life when her whole life was on track? I couldn't bring myself to do such thing, so I just kept quiet. Who would have known that 3 years after that, I will burst her bubble and get in? I consider myself lucky, to be honest. Sakura is the most amazing woman you could ever meet, from all points of view and I love her more than she would ever know.

"Sato-san, we are here I think." I looked behind me at the three girls sitting on the back seats of the car, while I was in the pasanger's seat.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for the ride." I thanked the taxi driver and paid him for the ride, before all four of us got out. We all made plans about this weekend and I'm in charge taking care of our three babies, Rio, Homare and Mei. I am responsible for taking them to the karaoke and also bringing them home, and also keep an eye on them during the night; we don't want any underage drinking going on and we all know we have certain members who will most probably get at least tipsy tonight. Erina, Ayumi, Miki, I'm keeping an eye on all of you.

We entered the karaoke place, had a cute woman escort us to the room we booked and there they were, the rest of the members. Well, most of them. Some of them didn't arrive yet. I immediately spotted Sakura sitting on a couch having a conversation with Chisaki, so I just joined them.

"Hi, guys. What's up." I sat down beside Sakura, who just hugged me as soon as she saw me.

"I was just telling Chii-chan about Sayashi-san. She didn't have much interaction with Sayashi-san in the past and she's excited to see her tonight." Sakura said as she let go of me, smiling brightly. I wonder why are they so excited about Riho, while I'm here thinking about how should I avoid her.

"Yeah, Sayashi-san just seem so cool! I can't wait to talk to her tonight." Chisaki said, her face lit up when she saw the door opening. And there she was, the very much liked Sayashi Riho. She came togheter with Ayumi, the two of them being the only ones missing from the people who were supposed to be here.

"RihoRiho! It's been such a long time." The PonPon duo hugged their fellow generation mate. "Gosh, we missed you so much." Erina said as she broke the hug, I could see both Mizuki and Erina getting emotial at Riho's arrival.

"I missed you too, guys! Hello everyone, it's nice meeting you." Riho bowed to the newer members she didn't meet before, and they bowed back.

"Sayashi-san!" Everyone was excited to see the ex-member, well beside me. The only reason I didn't really want Riho here with us tonight is because I know I will be awkward and uncomfortable around her. It's just, it has been 5 years since I last saw her. But if she's Ayumi's girlfriend then I can't be mad for her being here.

"Okay guys! Let's order some drinks and have fun, shall we?" Erina said as is got into her partying mood, before leaving the room together with Mizuki.

"So, how is everyone doing? I haven't seen you in ages." Riho asked as she and Ayumi sat down on the couches opposite of Sakura, Chisaki and I.

"Oh, we have been great. The group is doing well on the market and the fans seem to really adore our new members." Sakura said, smiling from ear to ear at the other woman.

"Yes, we are really going in strong this time. This is the first time we gained more fans since you left, Sayashi-san." Maria said as she was proudly looking at the younger girls.

"I'm sorry but I didn't get your names..." Riho looked at the 15th gen girls and smiled.

"I'm Kitagawa Rio."

"I'm Okamura Homare."

"I'm Yamazaki Mei."

"Geez, I miss being this young and cute. You all are so precious. Work hard and have fun. Being an idol can be difficult at times, but keep your head up and keep fighting. This is your dreams I suppose, so live it to the fullest." Riho's advice seemed to touch Ayumi who just hugged her arm and rested her head on her shoulder.

"Yes!" the 3 girls said in unison, being all smiles.

I have to admit that the small speech was quite cute; Riho seems to be matured more than I expected her to.

"Guuuuuyyyssssss! The drinks are here!" The PonPon duo entered the room again, each having big trays in their hands, followed by another 3 weitresses, each with their own trays.

"We got beer, cocktails and some sodas. If we will need anything, the girls will be happy to serve us." Erina said as they put the trays in the tables. We thanked the waitresses as they left the room, each grabbing whatever drink they wanted.

"Don't you think this is too much alcohol, Fukumura-san?" Ayumi asked as she looked quite concerned about the amount of drink in front of us.

"Come on, Ayumin. Grab a beer and have fun." Erina said as she placed a bottle of beer in from of her.

"I swear to God, Kaedi if you end up with a hangover tomorrow morning, I'll beat up your ass." Maria scolded the other woman but she seemed not to listen and took a big glup of her beer.

"Baby, I'm don't worry about me. I'm the one to bring you home tonight and take care of you."

"Oh my god, Kaedi just called me 'baby'!" While Maria was fangirling over her beloved Kaede, I noticed that most of them were mostly paying attention to their respective partners. Well, those who had. These excludes, Chisaki, Reina and the 15th gen, who were just chatting between them.

I finally got myself a drink as well, a soda to be more precise. I don't plan on getting tipsy tonight but it seems like Sakura had other plans since she was sipping on her cocktail like it was water.

"Odango?" I grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it.

"Yes, Maa-chan?" She looked over at me and I could see a pink tint in her face. Oh, it's getting there.

"I'm here if you need me. Just have fun, I'll watch after you." I said, not wanting to ruin her mood. I'm not really a fan of drinking or partying this way, but when it comes to Sakura and my members I can accept it.

"Aren't you the best, Maa-chan." She said as she leaned in and kissed me. The bitter and strong taste of the alcohol was lingering on her lips, but it weirdly got me heated up. Alcohol plus Sakura's lips plus Sakura's body heat equals to a very needy Masaki. But let's not get carried away here, between so many people.

"I'm trying to be." I told her as I broke the kiss, looking at her.

"Well you are, and that's why I love you so much." She told me as her eyes never left mine, even though her names was called by some other members.

"I love you too but I think you need to go."

"Go where?"

"The girls have been calling you to go and sing with them." I told her and she looked confused to the other side of the room where Mizuki, Erina, Ayumi, Miki, Akane and Reina were standing.

"Oh. Be nice while I'm gone." She told me as she stood up as well, ready to leave.

"You are 20 feet away from me, Odango." I told her as I could not help but laugh quietly. She drank the rest of her drink in one shot, gave me a peck and off she was.

"They are lovely, aren't they?" Riho said as she did the same as me, watching the girls decide what song to pick.

"They are indeed." I said, not really feeling in mood to engage in a conversation with her, but I guess I'll have to since she already started talking to me.

"Are you and Sakura a thing? Since when?" She asked so I faced her to answer.

"You can't really say that we are a thing. We are just seeing each other."

"I love how open you both are about it. Ayumi and I could never do that." Riho said as she was referring to the kiss Sakura and I just shared earlier.

"We don't really mind the other members anymore."

"How lucky. Ayumi is a little bit shy to show affection when between the members. That's one of the reasons you all found out about us this late." What is she talking about?

"This late? But how long have you two been together?" I asked quite curious.

"About 2 years, plus minus a few months. I'm not really good with dates." She said, as she laughed it off.

"I hope you take good care of Ayumin." I glared at her but she just smiled at me.

"I am, I am."

"Good." Was the last thing I said before a long silence between us. I looked over to the side and I could see the members that aren't singing, just hanging around and talking with each other, while the other group was singing their hearts out, especially Erina. It seems like she dedicated the current song to Mizuki and our leaders being the sensitive type she is, she started sheading tears.

"You know, I don't want things to stay awkward between us." Riho said between all the noise around, leaning in forward onto the table, almost like she doesn't want anyone else to hear her.

"There's nothing to be awkward about." I told her as I was eyeing her, knowing too well where all of this is going.

"I know you hate me, Masaki."

"I don't hate you. I just hoped I'll never see you in person again." I told her but instantly regreted my words.

"That kind of hurt. Are you still mad about me leaving?"

"No."

"Look at things this way, Masaki. If I would have stayed for longer, we would have ended up together and when I would eventually graduate, it would have been harder for both of us."

"So you just ran away from a possible relationship just because you were a coward?"

"Beside my desire to go abroad, yes that was one of my reasons. I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you everything then. We were both so young and I didn't want you to suffer because of me." I can hear honesty in her voice but should I believe her? She is right about everything that she said but for me something feels off.

"Why didn't you contact me after coming back to Japan?" My question made the older woman sigh and look away.

"I was embarrassed to face you again. Ayumi was the only member I kept in touch with."

"Why were you embarrassed?"

"Because I still liked you when I came back and I couldn't just come and talk to you. I knew you were upset."

"Oh..." I was kind of speechless about the sudden confession and it filled my mind with so many questions.

"But now I am glad because I chose the right thing. You seem happy with Sakura." She smiled at me and I did the same as I looked over at the girl she just mentioned. She was happily holding a microphone in her hands, singing with Akane and Reina.

"It's weird how she managed to twist my mind and my heart. She did absolutely nothing yet I fell so hard. I don't know what I would do without her now." I kept my smile on my face as I was still looking at Sakura. It's amazing to think that just a month ago, I was still afraid to approach her and now we are here. Everything is going on so fast that I can hardly process what is happening, but I am for sure happy about it.

"She's charming. No wonder you fell for her."

"What about you and Ayumi?" I asked, since I'm curious about this secret romance for a couple of days now.

"Well, I came back to Japan and I found myself kind of lost in life. I didn't really knew what I wanted, so I needed some advice and I phoned Ayumi. From there, you can say that we kept texting and meeting up. Then I left Hello Project as well, and started doing some jobs with bands here and there. Ayumi was always right there, supporting me from behind and I think that was what made me fall in love with her. Her kindness, her positive attitude, her smile, were something that kept me going in my dark times. She had her own busy schedule and her own friends and family to worry about, but she always made time for me as well. I loved that, it made me feel special. We were randomly one morning in a café when she asked me on an actual date. I was pleasantly surprised by that because I never knew she liked me that way at all. I actually confessed to her on that date. And well, we are together since. Every day feels like the first. I love her every day like it is the first."

"I love you too, so so much." Ayumi who came back to the tables was listening the whole time. The 7 members actually finished with the karaoke some time ago but Riho didn't seem to notice; she was way too into her story.

"Geez, were you listening?" Riho tried to show her tough side again but it didn't work for Ayumi who just sat down, hugged her and kissed her all over her face. Now that's cute.

"I'm so tired." I heard Sakura say, so I extended my arms to let her cuddle me. She did and I hugged her tightly against me, not wanting to let her go. I feel so good knowing that Sakura is mine. "Can I come back to your place tonight, Maa-chan?"

"Mmm, we'll see. I have to bring the 15th gen back home." I told her, thing that Riho and Ayumi overheard.

"We can bring them home, it's no problem. You guys go and have fun." Ayumi said as she kindly smiled at us.

"Are you sure, Ayumin? I promised Fuku-chan that I'll be in charge for that. I don't want to disappoint her again." I told her but just as she was about to reply, Mizuki started talking.

"It's fine this time. Sakura just told us after finishing singing that she is a little bit tipsy. I think she needs you." Out of all the people, did she manage to get tipsy before anyone else? Well, no wonder since I never heard from her that she can tolerate alcohol. But that's not the important thing here. The important thing is that I must keep her safe and take care or her.

"Wanna go now?" I asked the girl in my arms, I could feel only her head move against my chest.

It's going to be a long night, isn't it?

Chapter Text

I am actually so embarrassed right now. I never thought that I might end up drunk from one single cocktail. And to make things worst, I made Masaki and I leave early because I don't feel that well. I feel my stomach aching and my head turning. I never planned for this to happen but I think that I got carried away a little bit. Why? It's difficult to answer that. It's just... I never really wanted to go to this outing. I just didn't want to meet Riho again.

"Are you ok, Odango?" Masaki asked as she saw me stopping in front of her house and not moving. Why did I ask her to bring me to her house? Jealousy maybe. I don't even know why I am jealous. Riho has Ayumi. She won't do anything to Masaki.

"Is your mom at home?" I asked, hoping for the answer to be a 'no'.

"Probably. Why?" Masaki asked as she stood in front of me, looking at my face. "Are you shy and nervous to meet her?"

"I am more embarrassed than anything else. Just look at me." I told her as she just cupped my face and kissed me. I kissed her back but the thoughts of Riho made me stop. I know I shouldn't be mad but here I am. Being mad over nothing. Erina told me yesterday about the whole Riho and Masaki thing that happened in the past. The worst part is that Masaki found out about Miki and I from me. But me finding out about Riho from someone else, just feels awful. Why didn't she tell me about this before?

"You are fine, Odango. Let's go." She grabbed my hand and lead in inside the house, where the lights were on.

"Mom, I'm home! I invited Sakura to stay the night. I hope you don't mind." Masaki said as we were once inside, taking off her shoes and placing down her bag; I did the same thing as her.

"Oh, good evening Oda-san. It's nice seeing you." Her mother came to the hallway from the kitchen, smiling.

"Good evening, Mrs. Sato." I said as I bowed; I could feel my head spinning ever harder now.

"You are back early. Did you have fun?" The woman asked us to which I didn't say anything, but luckily Masaki filled in the pause.

"We are tired, mom. We'll skip dinner and go directly to sleep. Good night." Masaki grabbed my hand yet again and brought me towards her bedroom.

"But Masaki-chan, aren't you hungr--"

"No, mom. Thank you. We really had too much fun and we are not in the mood for food." Masaki told her mom but I stopped at the end of the hallway.

"Thank you, Mrs. Sato." I bowed again to the woman before Masaki made me enter her bedroom.

"Just tell me if you need anything, girls." Was the last thing I heard before Masaki closed the door behind us.

"I think I'm going to move out soon." Masaki said as she giggled and I couldn't help but giggle as well.

"Why? Your mom is cute." I told her I placed both of my arms on her shoulders. She did the same but on my hips, bringing me closer to her.

"Yeah but I'd rather have some privacy." I recognise that cheeky smile on her face. What is she up to?

"We have privacy here." I slowly walked her backwards until her back hit the wall. We stayed like that for a couple of seconds, just looking at each other. The more I looked at her, the less mad I felt. I can't just let this come between us. Masaki and Riho were a thing in the past, and I'll make sure that in the past will remain.

"Are you ok? I mean.. Are you feeling sick because of the alcohol?" She asked but I couldn't find my words to answer her. I am fine, I guess. The dizziness will go away eventually.

"I am fine. I'm sorry we had to come home so early." I told to which she just shook her head.

"I actually prefer being alone with you. We don't seem to have much time for that since we always work." She said and made me smile. Well, she is indeed right. The last time we saw each other alone was in this exact bedroom... "Why are you blushing?" She asked me, the memories from last time slowly coming back to me.

"I remembered when I was here a few days ago." I tried to avoid her eyes this time, feeling myself getting shy for some reason.

"What about it? Tell me." She grabbed my chin and made me face her, I could see that she's getting in her playful mood again.

"It was amazing. You were amazing."

"I can be amazing again if you want."

"I would like that." Was enough for me to say for her to kiss me. She grabbed me by the hips and turned me around so I am now the one pinned against the wall. The weight of her body pressing against mine was making me lose control over my whole thoughts and actions; I made her back up a little so I could walk her towards her bed. Once there, she fell onto the sheets giving me no choice but to admire her from head to toe. Her short bob cut was tied behind in a low ponytail, her camo green flowy blouse was now laying flat on her upper body, bringing out the outline of her chest. She just looks so sexy like this.

I climbed on top of her before unbuttoning a few buttons on her blouse, giving me a nice view of her cleavage. I took off my own shirt and throw it somewhere on the floor, before leaning down on my elbows. She didn't say anything this whole time but I didn't mind. I want to be in control this time. I captured her lips with mine, as my hand was working its way down her body, looking for something to grab onto. We kissed like that for a couple of minutes, until she stopped to get some air. I took this opportunity to yank her blouse up and over her head, leaving her with just her bra on. I leaned in again but this time my lips fell to her side of her face, from where I made my way downwards. I kissed and nibbled on her neck, taking in each second of this closeness. Her breathing became heavier and heavier with each moment passing by, making me go even harder on her. I reached her collarbone where I left a few bites, hard enough to turn her on even more but also soft enough for them to be pleasurable.

"Odango... Kiss me..." She breathed out and I couldn't say no. I pressed my lips on hers and I could feel her hands creeping up my back. She dug her fingernails in my skin as I deepened the kiss; at this point everything she does to me feels like pure bliss.

"I want this off." She said as she was tugging on my bra, and with one move she unclapsed it and threw it somewhere. I couldn't say anything other than smile when she grabbed my hips and made me lay down on her bed. She took off her bra as well and leaned in forewards to kiss me.

"Oda-san, Masaki-chan! I made you girls tea and snacks." She abruptly stopped and looked at me. I could see just as much panic in her eyes as I was feeling; if her mom enters now I would just die from embarrassment instantly.

"Girls, are you ok in there?" As the woman kept knocking on the door, Masaki quickly got up and ran to her closet from where she grabbed a random t-shirt and threw it my way. I got her point and quickly put the t-shirt on before heading to the door.

"Is everything alright?" Masaki's mom asked as soon as I opened the door; I bet my face is as red as a tomato now. What an amazing timing this woman has.

"We are fine, Mrs. Sato. Just getting ready for bed." I told the woman in an awkward way as I give her a little smile.

"Eeehhh? Don't go to sleep with your stomachs empty. I made you some tea and some sandwiches." She handed me the tray that had a teapot, two cups and a plate filled with a bunch of sandwiches.

"Thank you for your care, Mrs. Sato."

"Thank you, mom! Good night!" I looked to my right as I saw Masaki peeking from behind the closet door, showing only her face.

"Ehh? You are so weird, Masaki-chan. Anyway, eat up and rest. Good night, girls." The woman said before she closed the door. I took a deep breath before doing anything else; I could feel my heart beating like crazy.

"Look the door, Odango." I almost dropped the tray to the floor when I saw Masaki. She was completely naked, leaning against the closet door in a very provocative way. I gulped as my eyes were glued on her figure, admiring her again from head to toe.

It's going to be a long night... Isn't it?

Chapter Text

"Odango?"

"Mmm?"

"We have to get up. Our schedules start at 9." I told the girl that was still half asleep in my bed. I was up the entire night, I couldn't sleep at all. I received a text message last night at around 1 am from an unknown number but when I read it, I realised who it was from.

'01:17am

Hey, I'm sorry for bothering you at this hour of the night, but I have to talk to you tomorrow after your schedules. Meet me at our spot when you're done.

-Your Yasshii ♡

P.S Don't let me wait there for you the whole night, please show up. I really have to talk to you.

P.P.S I hope you still have this phone number. If not... It will suck for me. Let me know of you get this message. 

P.P.P.S Don't ask me why, just come and I'll explain everything to you once there.'

I was shocked by the message the older woman sent me and ended up replying to her about 4 hours later with a simple 'ok', to which she almost immediately responded with a 'thank goodness you got my message'. I didn't write back after that I just shut down my phone and placed it as far away from me as possible. You think I would brush it off and try getting some sleep, but no. I stayed up all night just thinking about every single word on that text. Why does she have to see me? Why at the place we used to go in the past? Why did she refer to herself as 'my Yasshi'? Why did she put that heart there? What does she have to tell me? 

"Maa-chan, do we really have to?" My thoughts were interrupted by Saruka's raspy voice. I looked to my side and I saw her still having her eyes closed. I got closer and placed a kiss on her forehead, making her snuggle against me. "What time is it?"

"I don't know. Around 7 and a half, I think." I actually have no clue since I haven't touch my phone in a few hours. 

"I just want to sleep. I'm so tired." Well, I am not surprised why. We are working on some new sigles and music videos and that means new tunes and lyrics to learn, new voice recordings, new choreographies, new costume fittings, new music video shootings, and the list goes on. I love my job, but I feel like recently my job is interfering way too much with my personal life and I can't grab a hold on either of them properly. I want to focus on work but then I'll feel like I'm neglecting Sakura and if I focus more on Sakura, I'll be slacking off work again. Sakura and I are both equally busy with this comeback, and I can tell that she doesn't like this that much either. She have been very clingy and needy since we started seeing each other; total different from the miss independent she was before. 

"I am too..." I said to which she just brought her head up to look at me. She kissed my jaw before sitting up and stretching her arms. I was still laying down, trying to bring myself to the mindset that today is going to be a good day. I have to go to work and there is no time for me to feel tired. Today is going to be just fine.

"I'm sorry about these." She said, tracing the lower part of my neck and collarbone. I smiled when I remembered what happened last night. Sakura have been staying at my place  from time to time since we started this thing between us going on. And last night was no different. After finishing work, we both came back to my house; I feel like it's easier for us like this. I live closer to our agency anyway so it's more convenient. 

"I should cover them up." She giggled at my words, making me smile even more. Having hickies is not something I want other people to see on me. She loves marking what is hers and I'm not going to stop her from it. Even though we are the only ones seeing them. 

"Maa-chan?" 

"Hm?" 

"Can we go on a date sometime? Like an actual real date. Like somewhere nice in Shinjuku, Shibuya or even Akihabara." I sit up straight as I heard her words; is she really insane. 

"That would be nice but---" 

"No but's, Maa-chan. I don't care anymore if we are seen together on a date. People can assume and believe whatever they want. I just want to spend some time with you somewhere other than being locked up between four walls. I just want to walk around with you, take cute pictures and enjoy your company." I looked at her and she seemed quite sad about it. I know it can be difficult to keep this a secrets but at the same time, if the public founds out about us, we will be in trouble. I care too much about Morning Musume's future to be able to do something as risky as this. Though... 

"We'll figure something out, Odango. You just enumerated the busiest places in Tokyo. But I'll figure things out and we'll go on a date, if that's what you want." I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arms around her; I love her too much to refuse her. I guess I'll have to talk to Mizuki about this. I bet she took Erina to some places that are less crowded for dates. 

"You are the best, I love you so much, Maa-chan." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'18:43pm

I'm here. Where are you?' 

I sent Riho a message as soon as I arrived at the place she asked me to be. It's a Western European style café in the other corner of Tokyo from where my agency is, so it took me a while to get here. The place is really small, it has only one table in the inside and one outside. It's pretty much a place where you take your drink or your snack on the go, few people actually sit down here to enjoy what they bought. Also being in a very corporate dense area of Tokyo, people don't real pay attention to what is going on around them, because of work stress I assume. Most of the costumers here are just office workers who take their coffee on their way to or from work. That's why Riho and I picked this place, we felt more secure hanging out here where people were most likely not recognise us. 

"Good evening, Sato-san. Long time no see. The usual?" The batista asked as soon as I approached the counter; his French accent being less noticeable as years passed since I last saw him. 

"Hi. Yes please, one for Sayashi-san too." I told him and he nodded. This place brings back many memories, bad and good I guess. 

"A flat white and an iced mocha are coming now." The batista said as he started preparing the drinks. I thanked and paid him and grabbed the drinks in order to bring them to the table, then the door opened. 

"I'm sorry I'm late. I got down at the previous station and had to walk all the way here." Riho entered and said as soon as she saw me. 

"You're here, at least." I said as I placed the two plastic cups on the table. Riho sat down and so did I, waiting for her to talk. 

"Did you order already?" 

"Isn't iced mocha your coffee of choice?" I was starting to get a little bit annoyed but decided to control myself. From the corner of my eyes, I could see the batista going into the backroom, leaving us alone in the front. He always would to that every time we were here, out of respect since he knew we were idols. 

"I was the one who asked you to be here. I wanted to pay." 

"That doesn't matter. Get to your point. I hope you know I had to lie to Sakura just to see you." I feel awful about that but I couldn't just tell her I'm seeing Riho without her interpreting it the wrong way. I told her that my dad came home during the day today from his business trip and he wanted to have family dinner. Well, that part is true but I didn't actually go to that family dinner. I will tell Sakura everything eventually but I first have to know what the woman in front of me wants. 

"Why did you lie to Sakura?" 

"Don't tell me you actually told Ayumi you're seeing me." I scoffed at her words; I know her too well to know when she's hiding something. 

"I did tell her I'm seeing an old friend." 

"I swear to God, Sayashi. If you hurt Ayumi, you are so dead." I gave her a glare at which she laughed. This is not funny. 

"I won't hurt Ayumi. It's just..." She stopped for a couple of seconds and looked outsed the big glass window that separated us from the outside world. "I am confused." 

"Confused about what?" I crossed my arms to my chest as I was waiting for her response, but she just kept quiet and lowered her head. I started to feel bad when I realised that she was silently crying so I grabbed her hand that was resting on the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me now. Just let it out." I let go of her hand and brought my chair beside hers so I could give her a hug. She immediately made herself small in my arms and continued crying; I could do nothing but to comfort her.

"Hey, are you better?" After a few minutes she slowly began calming down, and finally brought her head up.

"Geez, I can't believe I let myself be this way in front of you." She said as she grabbed a napkin from her bag and whipped her eyes and cheeks.

"That's fine. Seems like something is really bothering you." I told her to which she sadly laughed, but kept a smile on her face.

"It's that I get so overwhelmed by my emotions lately and I have all this thoughts."  She said, looking at me like she is contemplating telling about what is happening to her or not.

"I don't want to push you to tell me. Take your time, Sayashi-san."

"It's funny that you're all formal with me, I understand it." She looked away and I couldn't help but grab her hand to have her attention on me again.

"We haven't seen each other in 5, almost 6 years. I can't call you anything else other than that." I said to which she nodded.

"All these years and those times feel like they happened yesterday, isn't it? This place is so nostalgic as well." She said as she was looking around and I can agree with her. This place does bring many memories of the two of us. How young and naive we were. It is funny to think back to those times.

"Time sure does fly by quickly."

"It's funny how time flies yet the feelings are still the same." I was shocked hearing the words that just escaped the older woman's mouth. I just hope she doesn't refer to what I'm thinking about.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, fearing the worst.

"Three weeks ago when I saw you again, something just hit me. I've been thinking about it and tried with all of my will to get rid of it but I couldn't. I texted you last night out of pure frustration hoping I would be able to explain everything to you but now I'm contemplating doing so since two other people are involved. I used to be a selfish kid back then but now I grew up and I can't think just about myself. Ayumi... God knows how much I love her and how much I appreciate and respect her, but at the same time I'm confused. I have everything I ever needed in a partner yet I'm longing for someone else too..."

"And that someone is me." I looked away from her, trying my hardest to control my emotions. Being unfaithful to Sakura have never crossed my mind, and I will never happen. Just the idea of making Sakura cry and feel bad again because of me, is making me sick. But at the same time having my first love somewhat confess to me, caught me off guard.

"This is wrong on so many levels, I am aware. I just wanted to tell you about this." This doesn't help me at all, Riho.

"I am not going to cheat on Sakura, I hope you know that. And I hope you won't be cheating on Ayumi as well." I told her, she looked surprised by my word.

"Oh God, no. I would never do that to neither Ayumi or Sakura. I just don't know how to get rid of these feelings for you." Riho said as she was looking for answers in my eyes.

"You know that you can't actually 'love' two people at the same time. Maybe you just miss having me as a friend. We used to be really close friends before, you know, curiosity got to us." I told her, trying to think about the possible ways why she is feeling this way.

"Maybe you're right. I've been kinda lonely after returning to Japan and if it wasn't for Ayumi, I would have ended up really miserable." She told, and I couldn't help but hug her. I wish I could have been there for her but I didn't know when she returned. She hugged me back, sighing.

"We could hang out sometime with Ayumi and Sakura. Like have dinner at a restaurant or have a coffee somewhere." I told her and she immediately broke the hug to look at me.

"That sounds amazing but Ayumi doesn't really like dates like those. Especially if there are many people around." She said, and I can perfectly understand Ayumi because we think the same way.

"Sakura actually wants to go on a date, somewhere where 'normal' people usually go on dates. We had this discussion this morning and I can't say no to her. People will eventually find out about us, so I figured there's no need in hiding anymore. Who is a true fan will be with Morning Musume until the end." I am quite scared about that date, to be honest. Of course I want to be affectionate towards Sakura everywhere we are, but the thoughts of the news' headlines and the opinion and criticism of our agency is giving me huge anxiety.

" Oh wow, you guys are really brave about this." Riho said quite surprised.

"Let's just hope Morning Musume won't be affected by this if people will fiind out."

We need to look towards the future with a positive attitude and hope, don't we? 

Chapter Text

Anxiety. That's what I've been feeling the past couple of days leading up to this one. Sakura and I planned on this date since the day she mentioned about it. We planned to have dinner, take a stroll around the area and finally go back to my place. Nothing too out of the norm, right? Well, yes but the idea of people all around us is just making me a bit nervous. Ok, a lot more nervous than that but I'm trying to keep myself under control and not freak out.

"Next stop, Harajuku Station. Thank you for commuting with us. Have a nice evening." The muffled voice coming from the small speakers throughout the train announced that we were close to our destination. Sakura insisted on taking the train to our date, so that's what we did.

"I think the restaurant is this way." Sakura grabbed my hand as we got outside at the station's West exit; we have the Yoyogi Park in front of us and the Shrine Bridge on our left. I let myself get directed by her as she brought me around the station so now we are facing the whole Harajuku area. We crossed the street and we entered the narrow streets of Harajuku, walking still hand in hand.

"Odango, are you sure you know the area?" I never really frequented this part of Tokyo due to this being a crowded area so I don't really know my way around.

"No, but it'll be fun to get lost. And romantic." She said as she winked at me in a cheeky way.

"That would be nice but we have a reservation at the restaurant." I made a reservation yesterday at this famous Italian restaurant here in Harajuku. I read about it and it seems to be well known for its authentic Italian cuisine and its wines, so I booked us a table. A little treat won't hurt anybody, right? 

"I know, I know." She said, looking at me with her big dark brown eyes. She stopped walking and looked to the side of her, getting all excited. "Oh, I remember this shop! I came here once with Miki. The restaurant is just ahead." She pointed at the building not far from us; well, it is obvious that that is our destination with all the foreign writting on it. 

Once arriving at the restaurant I couldn't help but notice the difference between the rest of Harajuku and this place. Harajuku is known for being funky, for it's streetwear, for it's shops and small cafés yet this restaurant seemed out of this place. It's way too fancy to be in an area like this. I was quite surprised when I looked it up and found out you can eat here only with a reservation. 

"Hello and welcome! How can I help you?" Inside we were welcomed by a man, probably the host or a waiter, dressed in formal black and white outfit. 

"Hello. I have a reservation for two under Sato Masaki for 8pm." I told told the man in front of me who just smiled and nodded. 

"Yes! This way, Miss Sato. You mentioned yesterday that you want a more private table, so we chose the best for you." He said as he was making his way through the restaurant, Sakura and I just followed behind him. "Private table for two, beautiful view of our back garden. My duty ends here. My colleagues will assist you for the rest of the night. Please enjoy your time while being here." The man bowed and left Sakura and I alone. 

"This is why you told me to be well dressed up. I never really thought this place is this fancy." Sakura said as she sat down; I did the same opposite of her. The place is indeed just as fancy on the inside, just like on the outside. The walls, the carpets and the decorations were all in neutral colours like beiges and browns, with small hints of burgundy here and there. The tables were all laid neatly with white table cloths, beautifully folded napkins and simetricaly placed cutlery and glasses. 

"Because you deserve the best, Odango." I placed my hand on the table and Sakura immediately placed her hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. She smiled sweetly; I can see that she is touched by my words. 

"I don't know what I did to deserve you. You didn't have to pay for a place like this. If you have brought me down the street to KFC I've have been just as happy. I said I wanted to spend time with you, not you spending money on me." She said, making me smile.

"I just want to make this night special and memorable for both of us. This dinner is just a small part of the date. Be prepared for more later." I winked at her and she blushed. She was about to say something but luckily the waiter came just in time to serve us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still can't believe Masaki said that there's more to this date than already is. I'm starting to feel bad knowing she payed a lot of money for all of this but at least I know she did this because she loves me. I am a simple kind of person, and sometimes places like this make me uncomfortable but everything ended up well. After a hearty meal and a few glasses of wine, Masaki and I found ourselves on the streets of Harajuku yet again. This time, it's already dark outside making the whole area really pretty and vibrant. 

"Let's go on a walk through the park." Masaki told me as she lead me towards the way we came earlier today; we've been walking holding hands the whole time. I know she is stressed about being seen and people have seen us but it doesn't really matter. People saw us but they didn't stare like it's something abnormal. Some even ignored us and didn't realised at first we are Morning Musume members. I don't think people will realise we are on a date and even if they do, I don't care about it. I am going to face and accept the consequences that come with it. 

"It's so pretty in here at night." I said as I leaned into her, hugging her arm as we passed the entrance of the park. The park was lit by street lamps but it was still dark. So dark that you couldn't see more than a few feet in front of you. You can see all the city lights though, coming through the leaved tree branches. 

"That's why I brought you here." She looked at me and smiled. I looked at her as well and I couldn't help myself so I kissed her cheek. She was surprised for a moment but then she kissed my forehead before we continued walking. The park is quite empty this hour of the night and I glad about that. We can relax and enjoy some time together, just like 'normal' couples would do. 

"Let's sit here for awhile, Odango." She said and she sat down on a bench. I didn't even realised that we arrived at the pond in the middle of the park. I was so lost in the whole atmosphere that I think I spaced out. It feels so surreal being outside with Masaki for the first time since we are dating. It is so nice. 

"I could be here with you forever if you would ask me." I told her as I sat down as well and rested my head on her shoulder. I also was hugging her arm the whole time; I feel like I don't want to ever let her go. 

"Clingy there eh, Odango?" I heard her say, making me bring my head up. 

"You made me fall in love with you, Maa-chan. I can't help it but be clingy." I told her and her face immediately brightened up. 

"I made you love me that much?" She asked and I only nodded my head. "That's good because I love you just as much. Maybe even more." She whispered this time and placed her hand on the side of my face. She looked at me straight into my eyes and hesitated for a while; I know she wants to kiss me. 

"Kiss me. We're alone here." As the words left my lips, her lips were already on mine. She kissed me gently and I could really feel that we are alone in this entire world. I could feel myself melting under her touch and in my mind I could hear fireworks. Fireworks that are celebrating us. 

"I have something for you." She broke the kiss and said before grabbing her purse. "Close your eyes and give me your hand." I did as she said; I closed my eyes and extended my hand. I could hear her fidgeting with something in her own hands before grabbing my hand. The next thing she did, shocked me so I opened my eyes. "I got us couple rings." She showed me her left hand and I saw a thin silver band around her ring finger;

I looked at my own hand and I saw the same band on my finger.

"Yes." I simply said but she looked at me surprised and confused.

"Yes? What yes?"

"I will marry you." My words made the woman in front of me giggle; she grabbed me and gave me a tight hug.

"We are way too young for marriage, Odango. I just got these rings for us so we can have each other with ourselves when we are apart. Like you know, when we have different schedules and we can't see each other. I want this ring to remind you of me and that I am by your side even when I physically can't be." She said, kissing the top of my head. I am touched by her gift; she put a lot of thought into it.

"I love it. Thank you." I told her as I broke the hug only to give her a kiss. She responded almost immediately and brought me closer to her, having her arms rest on my shoulders.

"Don't thank me. Everything I am doing is for us. I just want things to stay the way they are now. I know I never asked you to be my girlfriend and I probably never will because I feel like we are already a couple for a long time now." She parted her lips from mine only for a couple of seconds and placed them back. I could feel all the love she's putting in every single one of her kisses and it makes me addicted to them. I'm addicted to her.

"I feel bad because I never do stuff like this to you. I don't know how to be romantic." I told her and she just smiled, slowly bring me closer to her to give me a hug.

"You don't have to do anything romantic for me. I am happy when when I see you smile and when you are enjoying yourself. Your happiness is my happiness as well." She said and I couldn't help but feel emotional. How can this woman be so selfless? I never had someone love me this way before and all I can say is that it is overwhelming.

"I love you." I simply said to which she just responded with a kiss on my forehead.

Being loved just feels so damn right. 

Chapter Text

"Aaaaand cut!" The director said as we finished filming. "The next set is going to be done in 45 minutes to an hour. Have a break and I'll see you in a while." We just finished filming the first part of our music video and I couldn't be happier about this hour break. I can't wait to finally sit down and drink something because I'm more tired than ever.

"Makeup and hair in 5." I just rolled my eyes as I heard one of our managers say. "Come on, come on! There are 15 of you. We don't have the whole day." I sighed and went straight to the room to get my hair and makeup retouched; I could hear a few members following behind me. I just want to get over with this day, even though tomorrow will be the same. I just want this day over with. 

"Sato-san, please be more careful next time." The makeup artist, a woman in her mid 30's said. I could see from the corner of my eye Sakura eyeing me as she had her own makeup fixed by another artist.

"I'm sorry. I just bumped shoulder first into a door frame a few days ago." I said, lying about the bruises I have on my neck, collarbone and part of my shoulder. We all know who did it and what actually happened, but they don't have to.

"That door frame really bruised you up, eh?" I heard Erina's teasing voice as she was looking at herself in the mirror while getting her hair done. I didn't say anything but smiled slightly at her and Sakura, before focusing my attention back at the woman in front of me.

"Do you have some thicker make up to cover them up?" I asked the makeup artist and she just nodded, doing her work. Having these new costumes being off the shoulder tops does not help at all. They may look more mature and feminine but are not helpful when it comes to hiding hickies.

"Are you guys done?" Mizuki burst into the room, together with Ayumi and Chisaki.

"We need to hurry because we were told we don't have much time left." Ayumi said to the women responsible for hair and makeup.

"Next girls!" The three women finished Sakura, Erina and I in no time, scooting us off of our chairs to make room for the next members to get ready.

"I promise I won't do that again." Sakura said as we were outside in the hallway, a few feet away from the rest of the members who were waiting their turn.

"Don't promise something you can't do." I simply said and smiled at her, giving her a quick peck. She just nodded her head and grabbed my hand, wanting to go the opposite direction of the hallway towards the changing room.

"Come with me." She told me and I just followed. I could hear Erina yelling our direction '30 minutes left' before we could enter the changing room and close the door behind us.

"Are you needy again, Odango?" I asked the girl who just sat down on the couch. I followed and sat down as well, starting to get worried because of her silence. "What's wrong? Tell me. Did I do or say something I wasn't suppose to say?"

"It's... I read some stuff online and there are some rumours." What is she talking about? I don't go online that often and I don't have any social media other than the blog I share with her and Ayumi so I'm not really sure what to expect.

"People are talking about you." I tried to read something in her eyes but I could see nothing. She seems to be calm however.

"About what?"

"Well... You know that photo I posted on the blog the other day with my cat? I had my hand in the photo accidentally and my ring was showing." She said looking down at the ring she has on her finger, before looking back at me. "And that photo Ikuta-san posted on Instagram with the two of you a few days ago. Your ring is showing as well."

"So? They are just rings. People can wear rings without meaning anything." Now I am the one starting to panic. What the hell is going on here?

"People asked me on my blog why are we wearing matching rings. I literally couldn't sleep last night because I read every single comment on both my post and Ikuta-san's. People asked me if I am your next target after Sayashi-san. You were holding her in your arms a few weeks ago in a café." I'm screwed, aren't I? I sighed, grabbed Sakura's hand and gave it a kiss.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked her, waiting for her to scold me.

"I'm not mad, just disappointed. Why didn't you tell me?" She asked as she got closer to me, kissing my cheek.

"I'm sorry. I don't know. I didn't want you to get jealous. It was only an hour meeting. She asked me to see her because she has some personal problems. I was just consoling her because she was crying. I didn't do anything else, I swear. I... I---"

"Maa-chan, I trust you." She let go of my hand as she saw that I was panicking and hyperventilating, grabbed my chin and gave me a kiss. "I don't care about Sayashi-san that much but I still want to know why didn't you tell me you met up with her. But more importantly, I want to know what are we going to do if our relationship will be revealed." 

"I'll tell you everything once we go back home." I told her as I was looking at her. She was caressing my face and I started to feel more relaxed. She gave me another small kiss before I could say anything else. "I don't know what shout we do about the rumours." 

"I think we should go public about it. I mean, only if the rumours get out of control." I nodded my head and gave her a hug, being thankful to have her. I am really lucky to have her so understanding with the Riho situation, even though she has the right to be mad about it. And about the rumors... Well, they aren't really rumours since our fans seem to be put the puzzle together quite correctly, thing that is kind of terrifying. How do they catch up on things so quickly?

"I just don't want to lose you, or have them keep us apart." I broke the hug and told her, referring to our agency.

"You won't lose me and they won't keep us apart. We are human beings and if they are not willing to respect some necessities that most women our age have, then I'll quit." I was shocked to hear her response; she can't leave Morning Musume. At least not without me.

"You can't do that." I told her and she just shook her head.

"I know my priorities and you are the first among them." I was about so say something but we were both taken by surprise by a few knocks on the door.

"It's me, Eri. We have to go back filming." I heard the older woman say from outside the door. We both stood up and I went to open the door for her. She was quite surprised to see us both already at the door, ready to go wherever we have to be.

"What's with those long faces on both of you? Wasn't 30 minutes enough for a quickie?" I could hear her teasing tone neither Sakura and I were in mood for. The things that are happening are serious.

"We'll tell you and Fuku-chan later."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrived home finally after a full day of filming. I'm tired yet I don't want to sleep. Now that I know what people are talking about me online, I am on edge. I need to figure out what to do and how to take the best approach to this situation. I mean, I can't just come out to the whole world about this all of a sudden. Yet, I hate knowing that rumours and speculations are going around, especially the one with Riho. I have nothing to do with her and I need to let people know. I can't lie either about my relationship with Sakura, because I am aware that one day everything with come to light. I just don't know what to do.

"Are you going to shower with me?" Sakura asked as she was undressing herself in order to take her shower. I was just sitting in front of the mirror, leaning on the sink as I was looking at myself and thinking about what should I do. "Come on. We'll talk about everything after." She told me as she was standing behind me, tugging my shirt upwards in order to take it off. I let her do her thing until she got my whole torso bare. I looked at myself again in the mirror before turning around.

"My mind is so full of all sort of stuff." I told her as I kept my eyes glued to her face; I can see from the corner of my eyes that she is completely naked just inches away from me.

"I can make you relax and forget about everything." She said, unbuttoning my jeans. I just gulped at the way her whole energy turned into a sexy one. Damn, how can she be this hot?

"As much as I would like to, I can't relax." I grabbed her hands that were on my hips and removed them before removing my jeans and underwear by myself, getting naked.

"Not even now?" Her hot breath was all over my skin before it could be replaced by her lips. She started up on my jawline, then she went further and further down, leaving a trail of kisses, soft bites and licks, until she was down on her knees.

She did manage to empty my head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After our hot shower, both Masaki and I found ourselves in her bedroom enjoying some snacks and drinks we just made. We still haven't talked about this whole situation both of us are involved but we'll have to tonight. I know for sure that Mizuki is already panicking about it and she'll have a meeting with us tomorrow morning. About the agency... I just hope and pray that they aren't reading all of the comments on our posts and don't know nothing yet.

"Maa-chan." I called out for her. She was sitting at her desk, reading some stuff on her laptop while I was sitting on her bed.

"Hmm? Eeeeh? What si this? Have you read this comment yet? 'I think Sato is playing around with both Sayashi and Oda.' What the hell?!" Her voice started getting louder and angrier as she was reading those comments, but so did mine. 

"Maa-chan!" 

" 'Maybe Ikuta is involved as well because she posts about Sato way too much lately.' This is just such nonsense!" 

"MASAKI!" I yelled at her to make her stop, thing that she actually did. She turned around in her chair to look at me and as soon as I saw her, I could read that something wasn't right with her. 

"Let's just tell them, Odango. I hate them spreading rumors." She said as she stood up and sat down on the bed beside me. 

"And how do you want to do that?" I asked, putting my cup down. She grabbed my hand and made it sit inside hers. She grabbed her phone and quickly took at photo. 

"I'm going to post on the blog." She said as she started typing on her phone. I got closer to her to see what she was writing in that blog and I was kind of shocked. 

'Maa-chan here! 

I haven't posted anything in such a long time, have I? I was busy with personal life and I didn't realise how much time passed without keeping in touch with you. 

I've been really happy lately and working hard on our upcoming projects as well. I am currently with my favourite person in the entire world. 

Is having a favourite person really a thing? Or you just call them a favourite person because you love them? Well, I don't really know. Lol

I think both though! So, tonight I'm spending it with my favourite person that I love! 

Okay, byyyyyyyeeeee!' 

She finished typing and attached the photo at the end of the post before showing me her phone. The post itself was written in a very Masaki-like manner, very bubbly and fun like she is writing about her best friend but the picture is the total opposite. The photo was taken in a dim lit room with two hands grabbing into one another against messy white bedsheets as a background. The way the hands are holding each other were romantic and gentle, and the rings on our fingers do nothing but scream 'newly wedded couple'. 

"Are you sure about posting this? Isn't just the anger and the adrenaline in you acting up? I don't want you do to something you might regret later, Maa-chan." I told the woman beside me, making her sigh. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. 

"I want to do this. Is it okay with you, Odango?" She grabbed my hand and gave it a small kiss, before looking at me. I am terrified about what tomorrow will bring but I am ready do to this. I chose her over anything else already and I'm not going to change my mind. 

"Do it." I said and she didn't hasitate a second to press the button. I could feel a knot form in my stomach as I saw the post right there on our blog. Not a few minutes passed until both our phones started blowing up with messages. Firstly from Mizuki, then from Erina, followed one by one from all the members.We looked at each other not knowing what to do, until Masaki's phone ringing made us jump back to our senses. 

"Nope. Not today, Fuku-chan." Masaki giggled as she turned off her phone as Mizuki was calling her, doing the same with my phone. 

"Eh, Maa-chan. Do you feel better?" She was resting her back against the wall looking at the ceiling. 

"I feel relieved. I have a good feeling about tomorrow." She looked at me and extended her arms to make come and cuddle her. I did as she asked and nuzzled myself against her; I could feel my body relaxing more and more. Nothing bad will happen right? Right. I have my Maa-chan no matter what happens. 

Let's just hope her feelings are not wrong however.