Chapter Text
If you asked Pareo four years ago that she’d be staying in Tokyo in her girlfriend’s penthouse and attending an esteemed girls school in the middle of the city, she would have probably either thought you were getting her mixed up with some yuri manga protagonist or cried. To be honest, Pareo did have a lot of “this can’t possibly be real” moments during her first few weeks of living with Chu2 and attending Haneoka. Everything just felt so completely surreal; at school, she had no need to nod along and politely smile whenever the girls in her class brought up some popular idol boy band because barely any girls in her school even cared about boys. The very teenagery discussions of romance that went on in her homeroom were almost always exclusively about how her peers wanted to marry some pretty lady celebrity or how everybody agreed that one of the third years was heart-throb of the week. Feeling comfortable at school was incredibly new to Pareo, but oh gosh she couldn’t put into words how happy she felt. However, her sudden surge of popularity during her first week when she finally retired her school glasses for contacts took quite a lot of getting used to. Especially due to how she was bombarded with one big question:
”Nyubara-san! You’re… You’re really Pareo from RAS, right?”
If this had happened to her in a school back in Kamogawa, Pareo would have absolutely had a panic attack on the spot. But… here, she had no reason to worry. Everyone around her thought she was so cool for being Raise A Suilen’s keyboardist, and… Well, even cooler for being—
“Reona-san! Is it true that Chu2-san’s your girlfriend?”
Pareo’s response at the time had just been a tiny, blushy laugh as she felt like she was learning to be openly gay all over again, but just this teeny tiny near confirmation lead the small gathering of girls who surrounded her in class to let out excited squeals and chatter amongst themselves, saying things such as “I knew it!” and “See? They’re both so cute!”.
So Haneoka was going great.
Oh, but Pareo thought staying at Chu2’s home was even greater. She’d told her parents that her “best friend Chiyu-chan” had plenty enough room for her to stay over and that she was a very good “friend” to “study” with. Turns out, the two were very pleased with the fact that their perfect daughter was off to study in a girls school in Tokyo and stay at a wealthy girl’s house. They had their usual “no mingling with boys” rule, but that was one of their only standards for their daughter that Pareo felt more than confident meeting.
Chu2’s parents would return to Tokyo more frequently for longer periods of time, but they were never any bother for Pareo at least. Chu2’s mother was especially fond of her, and even though Chu2 would find how she would call Pareo her daughter-in-law “cringe” or how mortified the still-tiny DJ would get whenever she spoke about how adorable the two were or entered the room when they were trying to cuddle just to offer them snacks, something about it all just managed to make Pareo feel so very happy. Of course, she also enjoyed it when they had the entire penthouse to themselves. She liked to pretend in her head that the two were married and that was where they lived together, especially since she was allowed to ask for any new additions to the house such as Chu2’s detested salad bar or the much more preferred ice cream machine that both resided in the kitchen.
But all of these were just lovely little bonuses to Pareo. The real bringer of joy to her was how she attended a school where her peers celebrated her for being herself and after the day had ended she was able to return to a home where there was no need to lie about what she liked or who she loved. There were no more forced smiles and nods or lectures about how her parents had already determined a future for her based on how she just happened to be a girl; now, everyday she woke up to the comfy warmth of her favourite person snuggled beside her in an environment she felt completely safe in. There was no need for her to return to her parent’s house any time soon. Pareo really truly felt like she was finally home.
Oh, and Raise A Suilen were pretty cool too.
“Oh gosh, the color isn’t patchy, is it?” Pareo continued to fret about her hair as she adjusted the small beret she’d secured with bobby pins before the show, twirling to-and-fro in front of the dressing room mirror.
“The color ain’t gonna go patchy from two hours of playin’ and gay little dancin’.” Masking had chimed in from behind her, giving the only slightly smaller girl a pat on the head despite her sorrowful whines of “nooo my hat!”. “Ya still well n’truly AyaHina pink and blue. Man… but maybe I gotta go do my roots again sometime pretty soon.” Pareo had blushed furiously with embarrassment at the mention of Her Phase - she’d thankfully gotten over her PasuPare-shipping phase when she was fourteen, but the pink and blue of her hair was honestly so iconic to her at this point she still wore the combo frequently including for this one particular stage outfit. Despite Pareo being almost sixteen now, Masking never let old jokes die. They were close to celebrating the three year anniversary of Layer’s fatal octopus sausage mistake, after all.
“Maybe Masu-san should see a professional stylist soon.” Pareo had said a little curtly, going back to adjusting her tiny hat with a “humph”.
“Aight, thanks Miss I-Bleached-White-Stripes-In-My-Hair-In-My-Girlfriend’s-Bathroom.” Was Masking’s smug reply. She was pretty proud of herself for that one.
“And I did a good job!”
“Yer sayin’ I can’t do somethin’ as simple as a root touch-up, huh?”
“You two…” Layer warned from the other side of the room after briefly passing a brush through her hair. Although she had the tone of a mother scolding her two children, there was always a smile upon her face (albeit, a rather tired one). The five of them had just finished their final solo live for the week, and to celebrate they’d come to the eventual decision that a very small fansign would maybe be a good idea. It wasn’t going to be a traditional fansign, but more of a… “just let the fans come up to the rails and if they get a signature good for them” fansign. Chu2 was still very attached to the concept of coming off as elusive and cool, plus the concept of facing hundreds of screaming and/or crying teenage girls in a day made her want to curl up into a ball.
The teeny DJ in question had just hopped off one of the tables. She’d been sitting there for a while, her legs dangling to-and-fro whilst she was somehow able to zone out the bickering from the other side of the room. “Alright, let's go. We’ve got a lot of people waiting on— wuh?” Before she could finish her sentence, Chu2 was suddenly met with a fluffy, powdered brush to her nose. Pareo was crouching in front of her (having to completely bend her knees just to vaguely be at eye-level with her girlfriend), makeup brush in hand and a smile on her face. “P-Pareooo…!” She half-heartedly whined, but of course she received only a giggle in reply and a kiss upon her forehead as compensation.
"Just maintaining Chu2-sama's cuteness~" Pareo had cooed at her, pointing to her own lips in a polite request for a kiss which Chu2 had oh-so reluctantly given after a very exaggerated roll of her eyes. Because god forbid her band knew she loved her girlfriend, right?
“You don’t need to do that.” She huffed, turning on her heels to head to the door alongside Masking, Layer and Lock who were already ready and waiting.
But of course, Pareo called after her. “Oh, Chu2-sama’s right! Because Chu2-sama’s adorableness is permanent~”
”P-Pareo!”
That of course earned a laugh from Masking as well as a “Yer walked into that, Chuchu!” but thankfully Layer was on excellent mother duty and gave the drummer a gentle elbow in the side of the arm as discouragement.
Before the five of them had even left the building, the distant high-pitch screams of predominantly gay teenage girls could already be heard. It was still very weird to Pareo that she had fans despite doing the whole RAS thing for several years now. She had her first “taste of power” when her Pastel*Palettes fan account blew up back when she was thirteen, but now she had a huge following on social medias dedicated to herself. Hearing hoards of girls scream that moniker Chu2 had come up for her that day didn’t exactly feel real, and to be honest Pareo herself wasn’t too sure what to think of it all.
“That sounds like so many people…” Lock had contemplated aloud as they approached the back of the venue. “What do we… do exactly when we meet them?”
”Just remember to be cool.” Was Chu2’s… “advice”. Her attitude was confident, although probably rather forced since the small girl didn’t exactly do well with sudden loud noises. “Sign whatever you can get to. Keep the conversations short. Be polite. Show the fans what they expect from you. Got it?”
The responses from the rest of her band weren’t the most enthusiastic, apart from Pareo’s. This was going to be no different than being spotted in public and being asked for photos, right? Just a lot of smiling and waving, maybe signing the odd thing with that signature that Pareo was still insanely proud of despite coming up with it when she was thirteen. Yeah! Pareo could manage that. All would be well. She wasn't the sort to be overwhelmed at all, however she still wasn't exactly used to... well, people. Obviously she'd improved over the past few years, but lots of people whom she didn't know who all showed interest in her or wanted to talk to her always gave her a brief deer-in-headlights feeling. That didn't come as a surprise to Pareo, though. She'd spent the first thirteen years of her life with barely any social interaction, so everything was still technically new to her.
The walk down to their tour bus was walled off from the public with a chain of metal rails that looked rather feeble when faced against the crowd of mostly teenage girls, all of them chanting RAS's name before switching to an abundance of thrilled screams and shouts of excitement and whoever their favourite member was when they spotted the girl band. Pareo really felt that initial standing-in-headlights feeling, but quickly and almost professionally smiled it off as she gave little waves to her fans. Her… fans? Gosh, the concept was still so bizarre, but off she went with her pink fluffy pen in hand, taking her time in signing things ranging from simply just paper all the way to merch, bags, shirts, flags, even some girl’s forearm which Pareo was rather confused about but alas didn’t question it for the sake of politeness. Oh, but they were also being handed things? Pareo had glanced down the makeshift walkway to see Masking taking a photo with one of the girls with multiple pride flags flung over her shoulder that she had collected so far. But then just as she was thinking about it, Pareo heard a particularly loud call of her name.
“Pareo-chan! Pareo-chan!”
”Eh? Uwah-!” A large amount of colored material was suddenly unintentionally ungracefully flung in her direction and she scrabbled for a moment to try and get a good hold of it. Holding it out in front of her, she realized that it was also another lesbian flag similar to the others that her bandmates had been given. “Ah…! Thank you so much!” Pareo called in the direction of where the flag came from before happily folding it over her arm. The gesture left Pareo feeling all warm and fuzzy, but she didn’t have the time to process or think about it as Chu2 had told the four of them not to linger too long. Besides, all the noise and the offers of things to sign certainly kept her mind buzzing. She wished she could remember every face of every girl who showed their appreciation, but there were just so many in such little time. Maybe someday the five of them could hold a proper fansign, like the Pastel*Palettes ones! Sitting down and talking to so many people could create so many special moments, just like the ones Pareo shared with her idols.
However, one girl in particular certainly caught Pareo’s attention.
The tour bus was a matter of steps away at this point and Chu2, Layer and soon Masking were already onboard. But there was one girl who’d managed to make her way to the front of the crowd, appearing to be holding up a very decorated pink bag covered in charms and badges. Her hair, like Pareo’s, was in pigtails and her bangs in a similar style, but what really caught RAS’s keyboardist off guard was how this girl’s dark hair had streaks of pink and blue hair chalk running through it. She looked younger than Pareo, definitely a middle schooler, no older than thirteen and practically clad head to toe in RAS’s merchandise. As soon as Pareo had spotted her, her eyes lit up. “P-Pareo-chan!” She called out, evidently excited but also seemingly full of nerves. Well of course Pareo had to see her.
The taller girl ran over to the railings, probably closer than advised, her pink fluffy pen in hand and ready to write with a bright smile on her face. She tried not to show it, but her heart was racing. The way this girl, someone who was a fan of both her and RAS, had imitated something Pareo had began when she was of a similar age to finally express herself made her feel like she was in a dream. The hair color, the beaded bracelets in pinks and oranges… Of course, Pareo didn’t invent making bracelets out of pony beads, but seeing this girl mimic her hairstyle sent a surge of joy straight through her chest. It was something she did to show her support for Pastel*Palettes, and now someone was doing that for her. This couldn’t be real. “Good evening~! Thank you so so much for coming!” Pareo greeted her as cheery as ever, but the delight upon her face was no where near just a performance. “May… Ah! May Pareo sign your bag?” She suggested just as she noticed what the bag this girl was so eager to show off was decorated in. It was an itabag similar to the ones Pareo had made for members of Pastel*Palettes, but the main difference was that this one was adorned in RAS’s merchandise, more predominantly the merchandise representing Pareo herself. The smaller girl looked utterly thrilled at this request. “Please! I-I’d be honored!” And so, Pareo went to work writing that almost overly cutesy signature of hers across the bag’s transparent window.
It was just as Pareo was finishing drawing the last little music notes when the girl hesitantly spoke up again. “Um… Pareo…chan!” She’d began, nerves prominent in her voice. “You… You really make me feel like I can be myself! Even if it’s for only a moment!”
"...Ah?"
It was hard to conceal how much those words hit Pareo.
In an instant she remembered being younger. She remembered knowing that something “wasn’t right” with herself since elementary school, that she wasn’t the image of a “perfect” girl her parents wanted her to be. She loved all things bright and cute and sparkly and expressive as a way to escape a world so lacking in color and repressive. Her place wasn’t supposed to be on a stage, she was meant to be a polite, meek, simple little thing yet smart enough so she appeared to be worth something. She wasn’t supposed to draw attention to herself. She wasn’t supposed to feel pangs of fear at the concept of liking boys, and she certainly wasn’t supposed to have strong feelings towards other girls either. The image of perfection was something Pareo had attained through an endless game of pretend, and it felt like it was tearing her apart from the inside out. She had no escape from it, no breaks, nor any hope left. She simply accepted her fate that she was just going to have to live like that, and it was through that acceptance that her thoughts began spiraling. What was the point of everything if she had to keep up this exhausting lie?
But Pareo didn’t exaggerate when she said that Pastel*Palettes introduced color to her world. They weren’t like the other idols Pareo had seen before. They weren’t manufactured femininity designed to cater to men, they were a real team full of confidence and strength. They all celebrated what made each other unique and not necessarily “girl-like” in the sense that Pareo was raised to understand, like how Eve-chan liked parts of history that her mother would call “manly” or how Maya-chan came up with her own concept of femininity. They were supported and loved for their uniqueness and strength in character and that was what inspired Pareo so much. She promised herself that someday she too could be open about what she loves and have the same support that Pastel*Palettes has and… Well, here she was with just that. She'd met her girlfriend through them, and formed a band with her that'd grown into a small unconventional found family of people just like the two of them.
This girl... she was expressing the same feelings that Pareo had expressed to Pastel*Palettes on countless occasions when she was younger. Everything had oddly come full circle. She couldn't quite believe that at that moment, or at any moment, she was now the idol that Pastel*Palettes were to her.
"Well... You know, you remind Pareo of someone she knows super well!" Pareo had begun, her demeanor bright. She couldn't get overly emotional in front of her, she thought. "It took a little time, but... she gets to be herself now, freely! It just takes a little while and some perseverance, but Pareo believes in you!" Pareo did her best attempt at a heart sign with her hands, balancing her pen awkwardly between her fingers, but the girl with the now-signed itabag didn't seem to mind. She hugged her bag close to her chest with watery yet happy eyes and a smile full of joy. "Thank you...! T-Thank you, Pareo-chan!"
An overly familiar voice suddenly called out Pareo's name from the tour bus. Oh gosh, she wasn't supposed to linger... "Pareo will see you at the next show!" Were her parting words before she gave a short bow and headed up to the steps of the bus, turning back to wave one last time before disappearing inside.
"What took you so long?"
Chu2 always unintentionally sounded harsh, but Pareo knew it was from worry. She entered the little "lounge" area of the bus with a smile and eyes that she didn't realize were beginning to water. "Oh I'm... I'm ever so sorry, it was just... ah... t-this girl-"
"Oi, Pareo?" Masking joined in on Chu2's concern, her brow furrowing when she noticed the tears pricking at the younger girl's eyes. She got up from the small sofa and made her way over, looping an arm over her shoulders. "You alright? C'mon, who made my lil sis cry? I'll get 'em!"
Cry? Oh gosh, she didn't mean to start crying. "N-Nobody made me cry in a mean way! I j-just meant... there was this girl and she... she did her hair just like mine! And she t-told me how... how I..." Pareo had to sniffle at that point. Now she was away from all the noise and the people, her feelings were able to settle. "She said that I-I help her be herself even if it's just for a little while...! A-And I'm just so... so happy!" Of course she had to burst into happy tears at that moment. It was complicated to explain, but she felt like the rest of RAS understood. Not only was the feeling of now being able to inspire someone in the same position she used to be in overwhelming her, but that tiny interaction also hammered in that fact that everything was worth it in the end. There was use to sticking around. She'd met the little love of her life, found a real family, did what she loved for a living, got to be herself with no fear or shame, and now she was inspiring others to do just that. Even if it was just this one girl, it meant the world to Pareo.
Masking brought her bandmate into a proper hug after that. "Aww, man... C'mere, you." She gave the best big sister hugs, Pareo thought. She was an only child so she didn't have anything to really compare her hugs to, but they were always so big and warm and comforting. "Yer doin' good."
"You're doing really good, Pareo-san!" Lock chimed in, surprising Pareo as she joined in on the hug from behind.
Then there was Layer, too. "I suppose this is a group hug now, right?" She said with a light, brief chuckle. The four of them stayed like that for a few moments until parting, leaving Pareo gazing back over to the smallest of the five sitting awkwardly by herself on the sofa. Eyes still wet and still full of soft, happy feelings, she quickly joined her girlfriend upon the sofa and gave her a big, squeezey hug that Chu2 returned surprisingly quickly despite being quite surprised. "Chu2-sama~! Thank you for watching my PasuPare covers on NicoDouga all that time ago~!"
"P-Pareo! We've got all that time at home to get sappy....!" Although much more comfortable with open displays of affection now, Chu2 still did prefer to have personal moments with her girlfriend at home. "....I am really proud of you, though. You know that, right?" She added, her voice a little murmur as she gave the taller girl a squeeze in return.
"Aight, what happened to leaving yer sappiness at home?" Masking just had to tease them, but there was a bright smile upon the drummer's face. Of course this set off bickering between her and Chu2 after they were done with their hug, but Pareo didn't mind. This was just how RAS was, and Pareo absolutely wouldn't change it for the world.