Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Categories:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Collections:
DIWS Who Needs a Great Plan?
Stats:
Published:
2021-06-27
Words:
778
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
11
Kudos:
155
Bookmarks:
12
Hits:
712

Croquer des cous

Summary:

Aziraphale sat across from him, in a reading chair, sipping his cup of tea. He'd had time to panic about the apparent vampire knocked out in his kitchen while finishing making his tea and he was perfectly calm by now.

Notes:

Apparently events drive me to write quite a lot more than usual, who would have thought.

Also, this story is very loosely inspired by a song I quite like, hence the title. It's right here if you'd like to listen.

Work Text:

It was three in the morning and, despite himself, Aziraphale was very much awake. He'd tried to go back to sleep but it was pointless, he'd only been tossing and turning in his bed for the past hour. Giving up for the moment, he threw back the covers, put on his slippers, and went to make himself a cup of tea.

He'd always liked the ritual of making himself tea. He found it almost as soothing as the drink itself. He hoped it might help. Even if it hadn't of late. It would be nice to be able to take his morning cup of tea after the sunrise for once.

He took out some sugar while his tea brewed, then went to get the milk.

He opened the fridge door and something tall appeared in front of him. Before he'd had any time to process it, the figure solidified and a man was suddenly standing between him and the fridge, hissing furiously.

Acting entirely on instinct and lack of sleep, Aziraphale slammed the fridge door shut. It hit the apparition with full force, then swung back open with a slow creaking whine, to reveal his well stocked fridge, and a rather dazed bat crumpled on the kitchen floor.

Aziraphale slapped a hand over his mouth. "Oh dear," he said, still shocked. Then, because the poor thing looked fairly pitiful at the moment, added: "So sorry about that."

Some time later, there was a grumbling, humanoid mess of long limbs, balled up beneath a blanket on Aziraphale's sofa, pressing a cold compress over his eye.

Aziraphale sat across from him, in a reading chair, sipping his cup of tea. He'd had time to panic about the apparent vampire knocked out in his kitchen while finishing making his tea and he was perfectly calm by now.

"Did you have to swing so hard?" the vampire grumbled.

"Did you have to trespass into my home and hide in my refrigerator of all places?" Aziraphale asked in return. He took another sip of tea. "I think I should have swung harder if anything."

The vampire sunk further into the confines of the blanket. "Never been hit by a fridge door before..."

"It's a wonder I'm the first, really," Aziraphale said, then sighed. "What were you even hoping for?"

The man grumbled again. "Was supposed to scare you."

"Well, it did rather startle me for a moment, congratulations," Aziraphale said, frankly unimpressed. "Now how you thought this was, in any way, a good idea, is beyond me."

"You try being drunk while low on blood and see if you come up with better ideas." The vampire removed the compress and prodded at the skin around his eye, wincing. "Ergh, that's gonna bruise."

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "Oh you poor dear."

The vampire slapped the compress back against his eye and glared at him with his remaining one. "I'm a creature of darkness. I could hurt you anytime I want. You should be afraid of me."

"Oh, I've quite recovered from earlier by now. And you are shivering and wrapped up in my blanket. It isn't the most intimidating look I'm afraid."

He actually looked rather endearing like this, Aziraphale thought, but decided to keep that comment to himself and spare the vampire the mild indignity.

"Not my fault. Your fridge is too damn cold."

"Yes. That would be its purpose. You could have gotten out at any point if you were that uncomfortable, you know," Aziraphale pointed out.

The vampire was silent for a moment, then admitted quietly: "Couldn't get out... Was stuck. Might have panicked when you opened the door..."

Aziraphale sighed, finding it increasingly difficult to keep up the appearance that he was only quite displeased with the whole affair.

"Was this really the best plan you could think of to find blood?" he asked.

The man shrugged. "I was bored. Not exactly any nightlife in this village. And what am I supposed to do to feed anyway? Go door to door asking for blood donations?"

Aziraphale stayed quiet for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Well, I was thinking of going out tonight," he said tentatively. "You could invite me for a drink..."

The implication was not lost on the vampire, who simply blinked, then stared at Aziraphale.

Aziraphale took one look at the vampire he'd rendered silent on his sofa, downed the last of his tea, then left the room to get ready for the day, feeling quite pleased with himself.

This morning was turning out to be much better than he'd thought it would be. But so much for his attempts to finally get some sleep at night.