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Another tiresome day with the Survey Corps. Nobody said that the job was going to be easy, that’s why Captain Levi only chose the most compatible and hard working graduates. You were one of those people chosen for Captain Levi’s squad, one of the 104th graduates. Being handpicked by the one and only Levi Ackerman was an honour; that meant that he saw worthiness and power in you.
As pleased as you were to be apart of Captain Levi Ackerman’s squad, you were prepared for the amount of dangerous dilemmas you were about to be placed in. However, you didn’t expect for the concerning amount of body counts you witnessed each day.
One of the most heartbreaking days on the Survey Corps for you still haunts your brain. It haunts you in a way you cannot forget. The image is burned into your mind, like a gruesome tattoo for your brain.
The day when they tossed those bodies to the titans.
It wasn’t just any bodies. It was the bodies of your fellow squad members. The members you had close bonds with, the members that you cared so deeply for, the members that now left you like a deadbeat father “collecting the milk”, the members that bittersweetly passed on.
That exact day would always be remembered in your head. You missed them so dearly, it was like a part of your heart eradicated. It felt like that part of your heart could never be replaced. You were drowning in a sea infested with hopelessness, worry and misery.
You worried about losing Mikasa and Armin. You worried about losing Connie, Jean and Sasha. You worried about losing Zoë and Levi.
But most of all, you worried about losing Eren.
Eren played such an important role in your life. He always had a special place in your heart. Even when you both were younger, before the titans attacked, you cared about each other so dearly.
Losing Eren would be like taking you off life support. He’s one of the only few people who held your heart together, and if he left your heart would completely shatter, no matter who’s left for you.
You and Eren became overly protective towards each other. Every evening, Eren would always give you a small peck before you both had to sleep. That small peck usually evolved into you laying on Eren’s chest, with Eren’s arms cuddled around your torso.
Of course, Levi would sometimes scold the two of you for being too touchy (that if is you got caught) with each other; which is explainable because of his clean-freak personality. Even if Levi scolded you and Eren, the two of you lovebirds would continue. Both of you craved the affection and comfort of each other.
“Y/N? Are you alright?” Eren asked, concern laced in his tone. He had noticed you went into another trance whilst he was in the middle of talking about something, he specifically noticed your eyes holding tears in the ducts.
You snapped out of the traumatic memory of the bodies, your teary eyes now glaring into Eren’s vibrant eyes.
“I’m alright, Eren.” You sniffled. You could practically see the sadness wash over Eren when he heard you sniffle. “Y/N…you’re not okay. Your eyes are watery and you look miserable.” He scooted over to you, wrapping his arm around your waist. He took your hand in his, brushing his thumb against the top of your hand and squeezing it out of reassurance.
You took a shaky sigh before Eren spoke. “Were you thinking about that thing?” He questioned, his thumb still rubbing against your hand. “Yes…” You admitted, your voice oozing with misery. The concerned frown turned into more of a sad frown now. He knew how bad that moment was, and seeing you getting so upset about it made his heart break.
“T-Think about it Y/N,” Eren stammered, almost on the brink of tears as he remembered about their deaths. “they are in a much better place now. They don’t have to go through the pain anymore.”
“I know Eren…it’s just that they threw the goddamn bodies at the titan. It feels so disgusting that they did that.” You sighed, a salty tear racing down your cheek.
He couldn’t keep himself away from sobbing. Reminiscing on the traumatic memories and seeing you upset like this just made his heart shatter. As the cries slipped out of his lips, he fully clung onto you, holding onto you for dear life. “I-I don’t want to l-lose you Y/N.” He cried, his head leaning into your chest, the tears dropping on your shirt.
You ran your hand through his hair. The tears continued to race down your face. “I don’t…I don’t want to lose you either. I-I wouldn’t know…I wouldn’t know what to do w-without you.” You began to stutter due to your sniffling.
You clung onto Eren, just like how he clung onto you. Both of you sobbed, wailed and sniffled. Between the wailing, you both would reassure each other; or at least try to.
After a long while of crying, the two of you clung onto each other like there was no tomorrow. Your head was now snuggled into Eren’s warm chest, Eren having his arms wrapped around you, cradling you.
Both of you wanted out of this world full of titans. Both of you wanted to seal a future with each other.
The two of you could only think and dream about it for now. However, the mere hope of some form of future with each other still remained.
Hopefully, just hopefully, this future could be guaranteed.