Chapter Text

Nine Months After – Present day

“How is she doing? Honestly” Kori asked. She was worried about Raven, being no stranger to loss she wanted to be there for her. There are different kinds of loss, Kori appreciated that. Having herself lost her family, her line in succession to rule her home world and all her worldly possessions which included riches beyond measure all priceless, irreplaceable and sentimental.

“You’re asking me, you spend as much time with her as I do.” Cyborg aka Victor stone replied. Victor was incredibly reluctant to talk about the most reclusive and secretive Titan, even if she was not herself at the moment. Yeah, he was worried about Raven. And of course, Kori was no gossip. In fact, she sorta saw Raven as a sister just like he did.

“I need her” Damian cut in, clearing his throat, he corrected himself “we need her and we can’t have her going rogue or emotionally compromised. We all need to know where her head is. She is part of this team still and her well-being, as well as her ability to perform during missions is everyone’s business.” Damian could be a little blunt, but he cared about Rae as well. Damian may sound self-serving, and usually, one would be correct in assuming it was so. Right now, though, the question was coming from a place of concern and love as much as from the practical and prudent aspect of the mission, mostly.

There was an pause in the conversation, everyone took a beat. No one looked at Damian, instead Kori looked to Dick who also wore an expression of compassion and restraint.

“No one can snap back that fast, it’s only been a couple of months.” Donna filled the silence “Any trauma would percolate. even though she seems fine most of the time it’s bound to pop up at the most opportune and inopportune times.” Donna added, defender of Raven and proud owner of psychology textbooks. Her collection was impressive considering it was only three months old. It started when they all realised something was wrong with Raven and continued to go more specialised in direct correlation with Raven’s diagnoses.

Okay this was getting out of hand it seems like a lot was being said but there were omissions big enough to store an oil tanker. “Are you really telling us that you are not helping her look into the incident.” Damian all but accused. He didn’t need to elaborate, they all know what he was speaking of, even after all these months IT stood out.

Cyborg had had just about enough, “I thought you’re asking me how Rae’s doing and if she is mission ready. I’m not going to tell you what she does in her free time.”

“Yeah Ok. We’re not a bunch of dudes on a stoop playing checkers shooting the breeze and this isn’t some quilting circle, but the concern is real. Rae’s powers are tied to her emotions. She is meditating way more than usual. and just as recently as last night her nightmare gave us all ….” Garfield trailed off. No one here was a stranger to nightmares and regrets.
An other pause.

“Alright I get it, as one can imagine she is curious as to what went down.” Victor volunteered reasonably.

“And does she think that she may have been targeted?” enquired Tim. Because it was reasonable to think so. Was it a trap, was she the target or was it all really an accident. Where the Titan’s targeted or was it just wrong place wrong time sort of this? Considering, of course that the ‘trap’ was magical in nature, what is it targeting a magical being or would any human do? Granted he was one of the most paranoid human superheros to wear a costume. And sure his mask was made out of lead, so even Kryptonions couldn’t learn his secret identity. Surely with his mentor being one of the great detectives, and him eager to follow in his footsteps, the mysterious circumstances of it all would pique his curiosity. Raven was Nightwing’s second in command when he was Robin. She could have led the Titans, but chose to be Tim’s second. So, notwithstanding the fact that she was already a brilliant mind, a voracious reader, Rae was also trained in the art of deductive reasoning by not one but two of the best Robbins. saying that she would be curious was putting it mildly.

“It’s obviously crossed her mind” Jinx piped in, it was getting tense, Victor was getting a little defensive so she decided to speak for their magical friend instead. She smiled in a we are all friends her way.

Nightwing looked around the control center and sighed. For some reason, the Titans present in the tower would congregate at the control centre or the mess hall, in spite of the tower having multiple briefing rooms. “Look we haven’t stopped investigating. I am looking into my contacts and Tim is obviously looking into it from his side. Even Red Hood is talking to his street contacts. Obviously, Constantine is looking into the magical angle along with Aqualad. But She is too close to this. So, let’s keep her busy. I can respect her privacy and I’m not telling anyone else what to do but we have a mission. The kind of mission where she excels and may need to take point. Jinx I’m not discounting you and you are absolutely an asset so thank you for coming in on this.”

There were mumbling of general consensus, but how anyone would go about misleading an empath, perhaps the strongest empath in the known universe, was anyone’s guess. This really was the best option thought, for the moment. They were friends and it was best to keep Rae’s mind and emotions off things that would agitate her, at least until some answers could be found.
 

********

Chapter Text

Nine Months After – Present day

Next day: Titans Island

Raven understood they were trying to be more open with her, but involving her in every single thing that she could remotely help with, well it was getting ludicrous.

“Yes Tim, but you just have to follow the money. I don’t know why I’m required for this.”

“But you could be, we suspect shuffling of Lakhs minimum, if not crores” Tim tried to use various types of currencies and measurements in his speech so that he could adapt, as required depending on whom he was speaking with. Tim loved being Robin and then Red Robin as much as he loved his part in running Wayne enterprises.

Amused and again hit with concern and love pouring out of Tim, the empath decided to have some fun “Look, I’ll even show you. Gimme your black Card, the one that gives you a table at that place. The one that I like, at a moment’s notice?”

Mildly apprehensive Tim enquired, “will I get it back?” using his first and middle finger he pulled out the card in question from his breast pocket. There was’t a lot of height difference between them but he held it above his head, using every inch to his advantage. If she was game, he was game.

“Depends, if it disappears will you be able to locate it?“ And quicker than a blink of an eye Raven opened a portal above Tim’s hand, pulled the Card inside and deposited it to the front pocket of Tims blazer”

Okay, Tim was impressed. He barely felt the lift or the deposit. They had played this game before and her control was still phenomenal.  He missed his friend, and Raven was still her. She was more playful in fact, but their history was missing, form her side at least.

He followed her eyes. No, they were not looking at his pocket, they were maintaining eye contact, not unblinking but still deliberate. Which was a tell in itself.

Raven quirked her left eyebrow in challenge. Tim wiped out his communicator, just to confirm his theory. “it’s in my jackets front pocket.“

“how did you know this, oh great detective?”

“I put a tracker on it”, and he had, but also he didn’t want to reveal her tell. They were friends, and he would trust her with his life, his family‘s secrets even, but they were also incredibly competitive. He would hate to lose an advantage.

Point proven, Raven triumphs “so it is that easy. Simply follow the money, preferably put a trace on it”

She had obviously already looked at the documents in the case file, but he had a trump card. “Raven, it ties in. They’re the same type of accounts, and are shuffling around incredible volume, belonging to similar shell corporations that rented that lot and adjacent warehouse.” Tim gave her a meaningful look.

The gears turned in Raven’s head. Neurones and synapses firing and connecting dots, where a perfect destination formed. “Are we going to be experiencing similar astronomical, meteorological and horological conditions as last year? “

“Yes”.

******

A few days later: Wayne Manor, Gotham (Present)

Raven looked at the room that she usually stayed in. She had vague memories of staying here, of late nights with the girls or of hurt and wounds lovingly tended.

To be honest or technical, they weren’t memories, they were impressions, memories of the room that as an empath she could experience. What she sensed, what the impressions told her could not be put into words, only felt, impressions of safety and protectiveness and care and belonging.

“Everything is exactly how you left it, we have not changed as thing” Alfred said, He placed her voluminous luggage in her room. When she had tried to transported it herself, Alfred insisted, something about a gentleman would never be a gentleman if a lady was to carry such luggage.

The luggage was an overnight bag, trunks and suitcases containing essentials for a trip like this: her superhero costume, Workout clothes, outfits for undercover mission of various kinds that crop up, to follow some lead or another that may or may not pan out, then just an extensive variety of literature; for leisure and  magical sort. Raven had learnt from past instances and did not bring any artefacts that curious Bats could use in their shenanigans. Birds of a feather and all that, and she did love them. However, the whole family was certifiable. She could not deal with their shenanigans with magic this trip.

Titus, was already making himself at home on the bed, “exactly as I left it, I see” she said raising an eyebrow towards a content Great Dane. He took up most of the bed. Her sarcasm didn’t affect Titus, being a dog, he was an expert at reading body language and he knew how much he was loved. As happy as he was to see her, he sensed everything was not as it should be. His presence was his way I was helping her out.

Raven nudged the dog and sat next to him when he happily made place for her on her own bed. Petting him under his chin, his fave place, she thanked her lucky stars it was autumn; practically no slobber! Anyway, there had to be a hanky in a luggage somewhere.

Titus snuggled, giving her better scratching access, pleading with his puppy dog eyes so she would continue. She missed Aurora, her unofficial animal sidekick. But was not sure how the multitude of Bat animals or Titus would react to her presence in their domain. Not to mention what the kiddies would do with the little kitten unsupervised. Besides, kitty cat had become an unofficial mascot of the Titans. So, if she tried to take her out of the tower and especially to Gotham, The Titans would revolt!

Alfred who is too well mannered to smirk continued “besides, you cannot imagine how it has been around here. And just the thought of you alone at a safe house. We are so glad to have you visit. We all enjoy a little magic now and then.”

The little ones especially enjoyed magic. They were absolutely loved, but Gotham was a little low on magic users, particularly in the inner circle of the Bat family. So, the kids were not as exposed to magic as they were to say insane gadgets, crazy advanced technology or impossible acrobatic feats.

While they were talking Cassandra peaked out of her room and raised her eyebrows at Raven. Alfred took his leave as he was needed elsewhere, reminding the girls to be prompt for tea, while smiling warmly at Raven, which let her know that her favourite cucumber sandwiches would be on the menu. Love and affection was like a drug to an empath. Just like normal humans crave positive feeling and positive social interactions which lead to feelings of contentment and happiness, which in turn lead us to be more social. Same way calm and positive people create an atmosphere which would be any empaths dream!

Raven promptly followed Cass to her room. They’d bonded over the need to not fill every silence with chatter, tantrums, drama or self-righteous vengeance versus justice arguments.

Today was different though. Today they were united for a specific reason. Cass having access to the Bat database which in turn had access to the Justice database saw merit in sharing the findings with her friend. She was curious about solving the mystery for sure, but she also saw what being kept in the dark was doing to Raven.

Titus snuck into the room before Cass could shut the door behind her. The girls realised that surreptitious materials could not be laid out as their chances of being interrupted has just increased by a factor of Titus.

Resigned, they mutually settled on using only their very heavily encrypted, secure and decked out tablets to share information. With a look agreed to only communicate via sign language for things pertaining to the incident.

Technology being as it is, they’d kept in touch and knew what was going on in each other’s lives. Nevertheless, a face-to-face was more personal and the girls ended up having more to talk about then just about ‘work’.

“Is this really everything?” Raven set her tablet on her lap and signed, working a kink in her neck. “Everything I could get my hands on, without raising suspicion” Cass signed back.

“So how is everyone” Raven spoke out loud so as not to arouse suspicion. Cass could talk and even though she was most comfortable with sign language, she’d been practicing and now after a few years she was as fluent in speaking as with signing.

“chatty” Cass said dismissively, moving on she pointed to various folder “everything  on the ceremony, everything found near and around was categorised, your investigation into usual suspects, magical edition ....Blackbrair …… The Spectre, Eclipso, Morgaine le Fey, Cerci or …En”. 

“Any news of Zachary?” Raven interrupted out loud. He was a magician, an ex-Titan, and ex-other things as well, or so Raven had been told. It made her curious.  

Cass shook her head and grimaced “No. The Zatana’s have closed ranks”.

Reading emotion is an art, so Cass cared about the bats, but she lived with them and given an option she’d rather not spend more time on them. This came through to Raven quite clearly, but what was Cass’s opinion of Zach? It felt natural so call him Zach, and she wanted to know what he was like, what it must’ve been like to be with an other magical. Did he understand her better? Was he naturing yet firm like Kori or gruff like Constantine, or supportive like Jason Blood/Etrigan?  Did he help her open up as Jinx did, so fearless yet … and what of others in her life, she was not ready to name him. Was she capable of romantic love?

“He will surface” Cass offered. “There was something about that night. It felt like something ancient, pre-dating most modern magic. There is no way everyone in the world din’nt feel it. John almost said as much” Raven stated with confidence.

“The forces Chaos and Order? Do you remember much?” Cass asked. Raven’s eyes dropped to her tablet, stared at the images of the artefact recovered, at the same time however, her eyes were not seeing. It must have been beautiful at some point, but now with all its paint worn off and full of dents it looking like an androgens blob of indistinct shape.

“The artefact has not been identified conclusively. It’s still in some League vaults” Cass supplied looking at the images on Raven’s tablet. “It was logged in the system as inert by a League Dark member”.

“Too much effort was put into whatever the ceremony was that retrieved the artefact. We need to check and see if it’s still there. Somebody wanted it, wanted it badly enough that they were willing to risk physical harm. It’s not just goin be left, forgotten, collecting dust.” Raven reasoned, finding force in that train of thought she continued “in fact, finding it inert would decrease its security level. If we find the person who wants the outcomes of the summoning then we’re closer to finding the people who did this to me.”

“Seems only logical” miss quoted Cass, making both the heroes laugh and somewhat lightening the intense mood.

************************

At tea Raven was at once overwhelmed and delighted. High tea was served in the garden, under a gazebo to be more precise. It was a beautiful piece with intricately small latticework as its dome, with creepers & vines climbing up its sides and covering the canopy. Evening sunlight filtered through, giving green and colourful tinted shade.

High tea was enjoyed by the hero’s and presided over by Jason. It was actually quite fancy and Red Hood was a rare form today. It seems Jason was quite pleasant and could use all his manners when Alfred was around.

To be fair it was a rare respite for everyone. Quite a few members of the bat family were in attendance. It was serendipity is what it was. A couple of lose individual threads had led Bats to culminate in a joint investigation of sorts.

Ex- Titans Bats were investigating the incident which led to Raven briefly impersonate sleeping beauty. Barbara was following up on strange pop-up parties that were fronts for something. These parties weren’t seriously peddling drugs or distributing ammunition. Although large smuggled shipments of something, were being delivered from the docks.

They all had leads and half information. So, it was decided that as it led to Gotham, Bats would take point. There would soon be discussion/briefing/bring each other up to speed on, and then how best to act based on their combined information.

***********

Wayne Manor: next day morning – (present day)

While levitating in Lotus position, Raven quietly hummed her mantra to herself. She was not in deep meditation. Regular meditation was important for her to control her emotions and by extension her powers. This morning she was just finding her Centre. After successfully blocking out all external noise and emotions, she was slowly opening herself up again. Letting her consciousness slowly flow outward from her heart to her skin from her skin to her aura to the world outside, a couple of meters at a time.

It was early morning and after a late-night Raven’s awareness touched emotions not very far away from her. She knew this particular blend of arrogance, self-importance mixed with caring and insecurity. Damian.

There was a certain amount of smugness that Damian was feeling while he waited for her come out from méditation. As if some theory had been confirmed and he couldn’t wait to confront her with his superior deductive skills.

To open her eyes and fess up or make him wait an let him stew? Well nothing to do but face the music. They were all on the same page as of last night. So she knew a little before they told her and a little more about the old investigation than was focused on last night. Semantics really.

“If you were not working on it, then Victor was working on it.”

“Save it Raven. I can understand your need to be involved. And I will support you as I see that your clandestine investigation is having a positive impact on you. I only ask that you let us help. If not me, I want one of my brothers working with Victor.”

Ravens humorous smile was not the response Damian was expecting. She quickly clarified “One of your brothers is already on it, Cass”

Of course, Cass! How could he have missed it. They were always close, but all of Raven’s friendships inspired unquestionable loyalty. He has just offered of his brothers, so it would follow that her other friends would also have confidence in her and offer her their confidence.  “Explains the abundance of Intel. The Justice league prospective of investigation could have easily come from Victor but the other perspective is distinctively ours.”

Saw that did he. That was enough of that, Raven didn’t want him getting too big of a head “ there is no need to be smug. I let you see it, I could have kept Titus out. it’s gone on long enough, though. I want to be a part of the Official investigation. I won’t take the lead, even I see the prudence in holding back. But now I’m ready to know what happened, how it happened, and why me of all people. even I don’t fully know the extent of my powers and how they may be used by me or in this instance hijacked by others. My perspective would help the investigation, not only me”

Short curt nod was Damien’s only response. Memory or no memory, between them that was sufficient.

*********

Chapter Text

9 & 1/2 months after - Present day : A few more days later: BatCave :

“Father is the playboy not I”. To be fair to the Bats not all of them had the same weaknesses as their guardian. So, it stands to reason that not all of them were branded as spoilt rich kids. However, when leading a secret double life, it was better to be viewed as arrogant and superfluous then raise any other sort of suspicion.

“We have been over this Damian. And you know you are the only one that meets all the criteria.” Cassandra implored. It was early fall and the BatCave started to get cold come nightfall. Her conditioning allowed her to shrug  off the autumn chill, but Cass imaged a hot chocolate for later. 

“Yeah, daemon brat! I don’t know anyone else complain’ about going undercover to party.” Only the Dami would think underground events for elites of Gotham were beneath him. Stephanie rolled her eyes with an exasperated expression.

They’d been slavering for days, going over all their shared information. Trying to corelate data to make intuitive leaps that were somewhat plausible. By the end of their last brainstorm Steph was a breath away from pulling her hair out.

Then they hit pay dirt. Finally, yesterday, one of the accounts Tim had tracking was used to pay dockworkers at the Gotham harbour and vendors at a warehouse for a underground party of some sort. And hear they were. A little recon last night showed multiple layers of security. The only area open to outsiders was an open plan modified club or party space at the front of the warehouse. A front, literally.

“I am not proud of it, but your voice mimicking skills are.... Even Bat computer was fooled.” And that is saying something, Barbara did, and at one time or another all the techies worked on its security.

“Not all the upgrades are even legal”, Stephanie continued pointedly looking at Red Hood.

Jason just smirked “you’ve got a point. I’m in between death and life. Dick’s a cop, Bruce… just forget about it. Barbara doesn’t have the family connections, same goes for Stephanie. Tim would be too out of place and we have to think of the company’s image, Cassandra would raise even more questions.”

“You would be welcome as a Wayne and as well as an Al Gual. You are technologically capable. An expert at stealth and as a manipulator of people and your voice. Therefore, you will be able to counter most security measures even voice recognition”. it was the truth of course, but Raven knew the words that would appeal to Damian. To make it a challenge as opposed to something all of them could do but have decided lobbed off on him.

“Raven will be joining you. Mainly to verify suspected artefacts in their collection, in real time. It would be best if we had a magic user on hand to screen them or …..” Tim went on all business.

“Even if we relieve them off the items later” Jason added, was really enjoying himself.

“We have other magic users for that” Bruce added “I could contact the League Dark”, he offered.

Justice League Dark could mean a Zatara would either personally be involved, if they themselves came to help out or would be informed by the Justice league dark member who was involved. Either way they would have more information then Cass was willing to give them. At least until they uncovered the degree of Zachary‘s involvement. Make no mistake, something was being hidden. There was no other reason for the Zatana’s not to approach Raven after she awoke or even be out and about in public.

“Raven would be a better choice, in case they need to make themselves scarce.” Dick said keeping them on track. He didn’t want any unnecessary delays. Cass nodded slowly as if considering and then agreeing with Dick, hoping she didn’t seem over eager.

Damian agreed “other magic users can open portals and transport people; however, these are Raven’s innate abilities”.  He added in an offhand manner. He saw Cassandra and Raven tense and then relax, he decided to back their play. Notwithstanding that he had already agreed to Raven’s involvement and offered his assistance. Either way, if he was going undercover, Raven was his preferred back up.

They had almost perfected their own shorthand before...... He could manipulate his emotions in short bursts thereby using her empathy as a means of communication between them. Handy during hostile situations. Recently, he had fallen back into communicating with her that way and her quick uptake made him wonder - what all, if at all she remembered.

They were all looking:

layout plan of the club/party – modified warehouse,

location- Earl Street,  

modes of transport that would go unnoticed in such area – expensive cars and moving vans should blend in,

Safe houses and places to lay low near the club/party- slew of safe houses, though only 2 could be worthy of Damian al Gual – Wayne and if required would be burned.

Bruce rubbed temples in consideration and looked at Raven questioningly. “Do you think you’re up to this. I trust you; you know it’s not that.”

Raven’s gaze softened. Even though Bruce and Batman had proven themselves, the last months had been an adjustment to say the least. Re-learning and being re-introduced to herself, her abilities and heritage had been a shock of the highest order.

“We have discussed this, at length, and for hours!” Stephanie complained “can we get on with it, please!”

Barbara quieted Steph with a look, the kind that only works when a mentor gives it to her students - ordering and chastising at the same time. “What Spoiler is trying to say is that we have been experimenting with technological manipulation. And reasonably if electricity and energy can be controlled and manipulated. If reality can be manipulated, then why not data streams?”.

Raven kept a straight face, pretending that their scrutiny didn’t bother her, “neither confirm or deny” she quipped. And it didn’t to a certain extent. Still so many emotions directed towards her. Not too good.

She adored hanging out at the Clocktower, experimenting with her powers in incréments. Cyborg had encouraged her and her own curiosity compelled her to look up the Batgirls and Duke. Cyborg was a great teacher, but a lot of his interactions with technology was through his suit. It was a little like Constantin and Raven, they were similar enough in magic for him to instruct her and different enough for them to get into trouble.

The Clocktower was amazing and they in turn were ecstatic to have what they called a technopath in their ranks. Either it was a new ability or a branch of an old one, just applied differently. Raven however, was not ready to add that ability or power in her repertoire just yet.

“Damian will be safe. He has us for back up, and Raven will be able to access what we need, without even leaving the party floor” Nightwing reassured Bruce.

******

Flashback: Six Months Later

“I think I was told what any child would want to hear.”

“that he was a hero?”

Raven nodded. “Not in so many words. Omissions and impressions, mostly”

“Letting you make your own assumptions?”

Looking at her skin colour with its grey undertone, black hair with its violet undertone, Raven felt her difference from the rest of humanity more keenly than ever. 

Seeing where her thoughts were leading Rae, Kon thought of his differences: he didn’t sweat, didn’t feel hot or cold compared to humans, could hear sounds and voices that usually no one around him could and sometimes accidentally or on purpose, he could see through walls.  The Sun was blazing hot, while everyone was melting, Kon could comfortably ware his suit and jacket without breaking a sweat. So yeah, sometimes he stood out.

They hadn’t told Raven about her parentage and the circumstances of her birth, at least not until she had asked. And now she knew.

“Even now locked up, my heritage follows me” Raven said pulling him back to the present.

Taking her hand in his Connor said “I think I know all about fathers and how they contribute to one’s genome.”

Ever an empath, Raven squeezed his hand in reassurance “you’re not him”.

“if I’m not my fathers son, who am I?” Frowning, she was about to respond but Connor continued “certain things are in my blood”.

Raven was not having any of it, she shook her head with emphasis “I don’t believe that. You did that” she pointed at Arora - a Devine creature, free because Connor was not willing to give up. Even in light of practically hopeless odds he pushed the team and found a way.  Narrowly, but expertly avoiding an incident with the Justice League while still freeing a magical Semi-divine cat. “you may be only a few years old but your soul is Honourable.”

There she goes and does it again, Connors snorted. Even without her memories Rae was still Rae. Eveready to reassure and comfort. He thought back to their conversation about his soul. Being artificially created through gene splicing, he wondered whether in fact he actually had one.

“Do you ever wonder how it will end for us” Raven asked.

Again, pulling Kon out of contemplation. It was so easy to have these conversations with Raven, without her judging you or trying to give you all the answers. “The big house, the Nut house or pearly Gates?” Conner quipped.

“Jay Garrett and some of the others found another option.”

Conner was new to the world granted, but super heroes are absolute gossips. And everyone knew that Flash gave up ‘The Life’ for true love.

“True love” Conner said incredulously “well I guess it’s its own kind of magic”.

**********************

Present Day – Undercover

“What are you doing?” They were at the party. It was practically a warehouse modified to suit the event. The area had an open floor plan with booths and chairs scattered around, a dance floor to one side, a couple of bars placed at three opposite ends of the room.

The birds entered the modified club without incident. Damian looking dapper, arrogant & lethal in an urban way, while Raven was relegated to mysterious exotic arm Candy.

They were living it up, smiling, swaying to loud, practically deafening music. Overall pretending to have a good time while drinking copious amounts of alcohol, in every variety available.

Before they left the safe house there was some debate, as to the best way to stay sober while still drinking. There were only so many potted plants and accidents you could have with alcohol. At some point people needed to see you drinking. For that to happen at some point you had to be drinking.

This is where things get shaky. If you are yourself hosting a party or hosting it via intermediary, bribe the bartender to serve you especially watered-down drinks and make sure others are served especially strong ones. That was not an option here. At this kind of party the bartender would take your money and tell on you, what is worse he himself could be one of the members of the mysterious organisation they were investigating.

Nobody notices service staff, they however can easily talk to any guest and have access to all the staff only areas. Going in as hired help is the most common way to collect Intel while being absolutely anonymous.

Another way is to drink and still somewhat keep your wits about you is to build an alcohol tolerance. Heroes not saints, duh. At one point or another, for fun, to drown out their sorrows or simply making bad life decisions, every single one of them had gotten roaring drunk. Embarrassing pictures - later used for blackmail or to lob off chores, were floating around as evidence.

So now you have the tolerance that you have, you are the height, weight, sex & genetic material that you are. What else can be done ? This is where they were at a disagreement.

“Fried food!” Jason suggestion, though a high tolerance was way more effective, not to mention more fun. No guesses as to what Tim suggested. Kori suggested mustard along with a slew of Tameranian soups of sorrow and delight, taste of which are better forgotten.

Dick’s suggestions were more in line with Damian’s. They both considered their bodies as machines and food as fuel. The first Robin was a professional acrobat and the fourth Robin - a real life ninja! “high in fibre, no sugar” uninspired really.

Raven did one better. When she woke up with a literal blank slate in the medical bay, she discovered her love for medicine. Healing sure, but specifically chemistry and biology of the medical sciences. They seemed to her, as magical as teleportation and telekinesis. How certain compounds affected a body at the micro level was akin to how a combination of words, ingredients and environmental factors affected spell work or magic. So with that background in mind, Raven’s go to was pizza. High on yeast, with a combination of herbs, known only to her, a bit of tomato sauce and cheese to balance the acidity.

Only the next morning would tell who’s recommendation would best slow alcohol absorption, Who would be in better shape come morning. Bets ensued.

Damian continued to gently but surely guide Raven towards the dance-floor. “You remember your training in counter surveillance do you not”. By the time Raven nodded they had reached the periphery of a slightly raised platform. It was sparsely crowded with people dancing in twos or in groups. “ well” Damian looked at her expectantly, “do I need to spell it out for you.” rolling her eyes Raven let Damian lead her in a dance that had them twirling. Damian proper gentleman continue to lead and twirl Raven, so as to survey the whole room without being obvious.

Raven cast a wide net with her empathy, she trusted Damian to keep her safe. In a room such as this it would be disastrous for an empath to not have shields - a  populated room with inebriations at all time low, wants and desires at the forefront, being fuelled by mind altering substances.

A malafide presence had followed them. It gave a feelings of curiosity but a type that wanted to possess and own. This sadly was not uncommon. Usually anybody at the top of any particular hierarchy would feel such feelings of entitlement, possession and ownership. Damian was more often than not the recipient of such feelings.

“I sense it, Damien. I am not sure of its agenda but I sense severe narcissism”. “That hardly narrows it down, narcissism is practically a requirement” Damian responded.

He was facing the person in question, trying to discern any features while she closed her eyes and focused on getting a clearer picture on its aura & emotional signature. All the while they were gently swaying, a couple enjoying each other, in their own world.

Coming back to herself, Raven opened her and looked sideways at Damian’s profile. “think its male. And I am confident I would be able to recognise him, perhaps even locate him”.

Tilting his head down while pulling Raven towords him Damian whispered in her hair, “let him make a move then. We continue to maintain our cover. Unless he becomes a threat?” The last part was a question to Raven.

She looked down, then coyly looked up and batted her eyelashes in response, reassuring him that no threat was imminent.

They stayed that way, dancing, close and lights and sounds seemed to blur. Raven was high on the emotions in the atmosphere. energy of dancers surrounding them. It was freeing, to let her body move any way it wanted, directed by nothing but the beat, surrendering to sensation.

Her body was still curled around his, teasing. 'Twas so unlike Raven, who normally avoided touch, but night now she felt compelled to just let go. Any concerns were a faint memory, inconsequential when compared to this feeling. Above them lights winked in an out with different speeds and multitude of colours, causing hollows to form under his cheekbones, making them look even more pronounced. The intense heat in Damian’s eyes would have made Raven back up and feel overwhelmed, but all it did was entice her. The play of light on his skin was immensely intriguing and Raven felt compelled to touch his skin.

Change of song to Heavy metal brought Raven’s attention back to business. It was jarring coming back to herself, she reeled in her empathy. Only allowing her power to feel the lightest impressions. It was dangerous to not read people more thoroughly while among strangers, but the atmosphere of lust, desire intermingled with drugs was too potent that the alternate was perhaps even more dangerous.

"Time to mingle with the Elite of Gotham. Let’s see if anyone's heard about recent archaeological discoveries?" The way Damian said elite, it sounded more like scum.

Raven grinned "People do talk about all sorts of things when they're out having a bit of fun. Let's see if we can find out anything useful." Raven set about discerning aureus and emotions. Which members were likely to be more focused and which ones were mellow, hopefully open to suggestion.

*********

Ramen sat with Damian at the bar, dividing her attention between eavesdropping on him and the progress of Syphons she had teleported to potential server rooms. So far, they seemed to be fine.

Steph had been right; the young heir didn't need much prodding to start chattering. Damian let him pick topics for a while to begin with, arrogant but still open to conversation. Then he turned the conversation.

"Business is thriving & we will soon commence operations in 4 more countries. But the head offices need to make a statement. I’m in charge of acquisitions and am absolutely fed up with the same tiered, recycled art we have been seeing for years," Damian complained. "Three years ago, I'm living the life of adventure and exploration. I ‘visited’ the  ****  during the dig. I actually participated in digs all over. Today, I'm dealing with antiques protection acts and customs officers everywhere no longer look the other way. I’d Like to shoot myself and save myself from the embarrassment when the office opens and the only centerpiece, I can find is a ceramic laughing Buddha."

Theodore, the most susceptible suspected member of Elite involved with their investigation snickered. Incredibly flattered to have Damian’s confidence "What’re you importing, Russian nesting dolls?"

They both laughed, and then Damian lowered his voice conspiratorially. "No. Actually, I’m wondering if I shouldn't be on the other side of this coin."

Even across the bar, Raven could see the gleam of interest in young Theo’s eyes. "What other side?"

Damian leaned in, his voice barely a whisper. "The side that gets more then the tiered conservative archaeological finds. Truly, if I knew how to contact the newest big find, I'd take those prices instead of the one I've got. Then I'd get some adventures out of them, gravy".

While pretending to be bored Raven smirked, Damian’s all American Playboy impression always cracked her up. Being multilingual she could also replicate accents and was getting better at replicating specific dialects. But still, gravy....!

Theodore, now liberal with his words after a few drinks, looked intrigued. "Can't you find out from local archeological surveys where this find is?"

"They doesn't know. Believe me, I’ve made generous enquiries." Damian said with emphasis. "I can't take much more of this, Waynes HQ needs to standout, you know how important it is to make a splash"

Theodore nodded sympathetically. He glanced around. Raven pretend to play with her smartphone, another board, arm candy date.

They couldn’t risk earpieces or comms, but smartwatches and mobiles were the norm. Orphan and Spoiler sent possible locations of secondary and secret antiques stashed around the warehouse disguised in a connect the dots puzzle. After a double tap, they shared the location of possible server rooms disguised as maze puzzles. Changling would be so useful right now. She couldn’t’t believe she thought that, but it had only been 15 days days and yet, she missed the Titans.

Raven strained, to hear his reply "aquatints displayed here at the last party. They are in the procurement business, if you know what I mean. One of ‘em was laughin' about this job where hired tomb raider tried to double cross him coz the stuff they dug up disappears. The way I heard it, now the seller worried about his contract gettin' cancelled."

infinite minutes later, and Damian actually has a lead, by charming and bromancing the young man, with a little nudge form Raven, just to get the bolder rolling. who knew! He is not gonna hear the end of it Raven thought.

"You hear the name of this ‘grave digger’ ?" Damian asked casually. "I might be interested in helping him out of some antiquities."

"Think I heard they guy’s name, ...Sphinx, I think it was. It was definitely something old and Egyptian. And that he was the Procurer. He renamed himself just like he's a superhero, ridiculous"

“Or a gangster” Damian smirked.

Sphinx. Barb will be burning the computers on that alias already. What did it signify though? Sphinx, like most Egyptian mythological creatures were a duality, in this case part human part lion.

“Perhaps this will work out, either way let me get the next round”

Another fifty minutes, Damian let Theo leade the conversation, and it meandered until I fantasied about sending them both to another dimension, at least his mouth.

Honestly he was not a bad sort. He was rich and young and had no idea what to do with his time or money. He thought hanging out with these people made him hardcore. It was all very white collar, until you looked beneath the surface, that is. And well yes he was a bit of a moron.

At last, the party started to die down, Raven had already collected the Syphons, now almost bursting with data, when she took a quick break to the ladies room. Damian feigned regret over needing to leave, but told Theo, as he insisted on being called, as they were such good friends now, he'd be back next time. And complained about how if he had no luck on his own, he'd ‘bring’ a serious offer with him.

Raven checked her watch to hide her surprise, what was Damian setting up?

******

The Shadow surveyed the floor for a long moment and moved on to explore the bar. Ah, what a lovely young couple. What an interesting young woman. The Shadows interest was piqued...

Chapter Text

Flashback – almost 6 Months ago

“Enjoying the music? Superboy asked, walking into the library/music room. Multiple speakers emitted sounds of lyrical voices and haunting melodies.  Raven was sitting on the largest sofa, books scattered all around, while she selected songs. “I didn’t mean to startle with you.”

She shook her head to appease him, ever polite, but he could see the apprehension in her eyes. He was going to sit next to her, but instead stopped short and leaned on against a couch to her left. Close enough to talk, far enough so as not to intimidate and in no way blocking any exits.

Raven paused, gauged his emotional atmosphere and he saw her physically relax. “So, are you enjoying the music? “ He asked again.

Realising that she had been caught and had not recovered quickly enough for her nervousness to go unnoticed, Raven pursed her lips at her overreaction and Connor’s nonchalance. If he was going to ignore it, she was going to ignore it. “I don’t remember it, but I’m definitely enjoying this now”.

The Team was constantly coming up with ways to introduce Raven to a variety of ‘new’ experiences. Almost everyone had made playlists of songs that they hoped she would enjoy.

Every meal included multiple dishes for Raven to experience. Kori was constantly was slaving over the stove, making, according to her entry level Tamarenian dishes. Hoping against hope, Raven would enjoy them and she would finally have somebody to share her home worlds cuisine with.

Same for beast boy or changeling, who was ever offering tofu and vegan snacks with hopes to win her over to his side, food vise. Raven had been a vegetarian though she never appreciated tufu the way Garfield did.

Most of the team knew each other well enough, and after years of living together everyone knew each other’s preferences. Though they all agreed, including Raven that this was a fresh start, and decided not to limit themselves.

So, in effect the whole Tower was experiencing a cultural Exchange of sorts. To be fair it would be awkward when everyone was eating breakfast, if Cy only made pancakes for Raven or if Damian prepared Tea only for her. This way there was no pressure on Raven because everyone was joining in and experiencing each other’s tastes, with a somewhat-open mind, begrudgingly.

Though Raven was a blank slate, she instinctively tried Damian‘s playlist first. “There is a Soul inside of your Soul. Search that Soul. There is a jewel in the mountain of body. Look for the mine of that jewel. Oh, Sufi, passing search inside if you can, not outside” quoted Kon. Raven looked up at Connor surprised. He laughed softly “you’re listening to Sufi music and reading up on its history and origin, it was a wild guess”. Connor pointing towards the books scattered around and articles opened in tabs on her tablet.

“It helps me find my center and focus my energy” Raven shrugged.

“Is it difficult to do that” Kon asked. “Some days it’s easier than others” Rae shrugged.

They were all so relieved to see Raven conscious and out of her healing trance, that it didn’t even occur to them that something could have gone wrong.  Raven was an empath, a healer and one of the Titans heavy hitters. During battles she would normally provide cover, if things got bad though, she would either end it or create portal for a quick exit.

Raven had been in healing hibernation before, if you could hurt her hard enough usually in a magical way because nothing physical seem to do the trick. Never for this long though, and all the energy surrounding her along with her long recovery period had freaked everyone out. Not the most touchy-feely Titan no one was surprised when she flinched at Kori’s relieved and enthusiastic hug. Her expressive face which telegraphed absolute confusion, is what clued them in.

“Raven?” Damian approached her slowly on soft feet, making no sudden movements. Taking their cue from him, remaining Titans backed off, trying to appear non-threatening. Nightwing embraced his distraught girlfriend. Donna also took a step back, just beginning to grasp..... there was no recognition on Raven’s face. She did not seem to recognise any of them!

Conner, started to casually inform Raven of her name and introduce her to her team and friends. “Hi Raven! That is your name in case you didn’t know. We’re your friends. I’m Connor”, he said pointing a thumb at himself. “This tall grumpy dude is Damian. Don’t take his frown personally it’s his default expression. These two babes are Donna and Kori is the one who assaulted you with affection” he joked.

The Titans were having lunch when Raven suddenly appeared, for all intents and purposes alive and well. Only later did Raven explain, she awoke with a strong sensation or pull towards the team in the mess hall. Out of pure instinct and need to be there, did she used her powers to teleport. She was as surprised as them at her ability as they were at her sudden appearance. stunned silence, before Kori reacted.

“We all live here; your room is a couple of levels up” Kon paused. About to offer to show her to her room, when they got their second shocker of the day. Kori’s tackle had dislodged Raven’s clock exposing her face, and on her shoulder, from behind a curtain of her hair, two round multicolored luminescent eyes peered out.

Two multi-hued eyes moved forward to reveal a moist button nose, whiskers and pointed ears. A cat! there was a cat and it was on Raven’s shoulder!

A kitten of all things! While perched comfortably on Raven’s shoulder, She maneuvered carefully around Raven’s hair, lifted her nose up to sniff delicately, taking in their scents. It got eerily quite, if Conner couldn’t hear everyone’s breathing and heart beats..... well regardless this was no dream.

Raven and her shoulder kitten, peered over them, curiosity bright in their eyes. Before the Titans could digest these events, Raven spoke for the first time since appearing in their mess hall. She hesitantly took a few steps towards them “your shoulder seems to be hurting” looking at Damian while touching her left shoulder “I have a feeling I can heal it, if you allow”.

Hardly a week had passed. Eventually Raven was given a tour of Titans Tower though they kept her out of her room. Who knew whether her room was booby trapped or .........well better safe than sorry?

Raven actually did get to heal Damian's shoulder, the latter too stunned to protest.

It was clear from the very beginning, that Raven had suffered a trauma. The energy drain was so strong it somehow lead to neural pathways that store memory to become damaged.

“Your brain is very delicate. Think of a freeway crisscrossed by many paths along which signals travel to your body. Some are clear, some become over crowded over time, but all have formed naturally. Right now these paths are damaged.” Cyborg had informed them.

It hit Kori and Damian the hardest. “The process of healing has already started. Ravens body has mostly recovered, her powers seem to be in her control by instinct and muscle memory. But we rarely recover memories lost during an amnesia-inducing event. The only reason Raven is alive and able to function is that coz as soon as her body suffered trauma, it went into a healing magic cocoon. It sealed off any damage and boosted healing.”

Everyone had questions like what is the possibility that her brain will restore itself, how long will it take, what will this do to Raven’s personality.

Raven seems like Raven to Kon. She may not have her memories, but she definitely had her unique personality.

********

It started out with relief which led to excitement. Relief, that Raven was okay. She had control of her powers, mostly and seemed inclined not to hurt the group of strangers surrounding her.

Justice League Dark, at least the members available; Constantine and Jason Blood/Etragen, had been called to evaluate. Verdict: overall nothing to worry about. Just like knowing how to breathe, walk and talk as well as read and write, Raven would be in control of Powers and abilities, unless met with an outside stressor, she should be fine in the short term.

The magic users set up a timetable for lessons and evaluations and because Rae was still healing, they would come to her, to Titans Tower. Really it was because the Titans insisted. She had just woken up and they were not ready to be parted from her again so soon.

Once it was established that Raven had suffered memory loss, Cyborg took her to back to the medical wing for a quick check up. Justice League Dark was contacted, as Zatanna was busy and they didn’t want to involve Dr. Fate, so Constantine came over via boom tube.

It was mutually decided that Nightwing would take Raven on a tour around the Tower, after her medical and magical evaluations, while her team decided what to do.

There was rapid and confusing back-and-forth. Should we try and heal her brain, help her gain her memories.

Connor was against it. With everything that she had been through, all the pressure and expectations. This was her chance to live a life without all that baggage.

“Perhaps memory loss was a blessing” is what Donna said. She would not wish it on anyone, but to forget it all….

Damian was torn between relief at her recovery and heartbreak that she didn’t appear to remember him or return his feelings. ‘Jaime looked towards him. Damian met his eyes and ‘Jaime was taken aback at the raw emotions he saw in them. Indecision warnings and relief and a deep sense of loss, mingled with guilt.

They all were feeling some combination of those very emotions, but the intensity in Damian ‘s eyes was not something ‘Jaime thought this Robin was capable of.

Cyborg recommended that they let her heal naturally. The possibility of memory returning, well it was not beyond the range of possibility. Either way Cy discouraged any sort of tampering and tinkering with Raven’s brain.

Then there was the issue of her being in danger. Had Raven been targeted? She was safe in the Tower and if she woke up from her healing sleep as herself this would hardly be an issue. After a period of recuperation, she could resume her life, but that was not the case now. Now, at this moment she was an innocent with cosmic powers and no memory of enemies.

They went around in circles, food untouched pacing, all around the mess hall, words of confusion and delight and relief marred with indecision.

Finally, Kori put her foot down, “Raven was not unintelligent and even without her memories the choice had to be hers.”

Donna agreed and offered to have Raven stay with her so as to keep an eye on her and also away from her room, so that it would not be an undue influence to her. It didn’t sit right with her either, them deciding for Raven. But if they wanted to help, they needed to figure out what they could do for her. She would do the same for them.

‘Jaime called Changing, “Raven’s awake, she doesn’t remember us and we need to decide what to do”

Changing was with the Outlaws who were also looped in. When Jason heard he vehemently argued against messing with her brain. The Outlaws had been through some shit, Jason with the Pit and Roy with his addiction “she has been through a lot, if she isn’t about to explode, let her have a fresh start.

“All her life Raven has known about the horrors of her birth and her parentage. Azarath was no cakewalk. All that suppressing your emotions can’t be good for you. I know given a chance I’d like to forget” Jason finally mumbled.”

‘Jaime was with Jason, and Changling who remembering his parents’ death also wished their friend to have a life unburdened by her considerable and traumatising past.

Damian communicator beeped “Dick is on his way back with her Raven. He says Constantine is confident Raven is in control over her abilities. Still, he recommends that Raven accompany him to the House of Mysteries. He feels she may be safer there”. Damian relayed the information. 

Damian who had not left the Tower in months, who had not visited Gotham since the incident, who had spent every waking hour near the medical ward, was at a loss on how to proceed. “I will wait for her. All I want is for her to be healthy and safe. We’re her team, her family and this is … was her home. It’s up to us to keep her safe. We have to live with pain and loss, if we can relieve this burden of her past for Raven, how is it not a gift worth considering”.

“How can we decide for her, none of us are unbiased.” Garfield added reluctantly, he knew the decision he would make, and he knew what he wanted but would Raven appreciate that?

“Let’s not make any hasty decisions” Donna continued “I think we all agree this is a choice she needs to make. How do we? What do we offer? What do we say without saying too much?”.

There were a lot of things each and every one of them wanted to forget, being a hero was not without its emotional baggage. They all had it, but perhaps none more so than Raven.

Damian nodded, Kori opened her mouth to speak shut it, pursed her lips and nodded as well. “We need to remember who her father is. Perhaps starting without the emotional baggage and pain she will be more comfortable opening up to us. She may be able to handle her emotions better without all of that weighing her down”

“Kori is right, messing with her mind trying to force a brain reboot could have far reaching, I mean like global scale consequences” Garfield added from speakerphone.

“I have been in this position before. You’ll know some of it. That I woke up in a lab almost fully grown. It was so disorienting to know somethings and to not know other things. Things that are fundamental to you as a person. I think I should be the one to talk to her and make our offer of a life beyond this.”

Kori looked towards Damian, he loves Raven as much as she did and she didn’t even know what she would do is their positions were reversed and it was Richard........“Raven is like a sister to me, I love her I can truly help her. We have meditated together many times. I can ....”.

Damian had to physically stop himself from walking out, going up to Raven, taking her hand in his, reassuring himself that she was alive and awake and healed! Then getting on his very private incredibly stealthy jet, with Raven safely tucked in, away where she could never be hurt. They could be alone, where he could hold her in his arms. If they were together, he knew that everything would be okay. But that was a dream, a fantasy, one that he did not have the luxury to indulge in. Raven was at a disadvantage, without her memories, with who knew how much control she had over her powers. She may be in danger from outsiders and herself. He needed, no Raven needed him to be levelheaded and practical for her.

“I don’t think so Kori. You, Damian or even Donna can’t do it without overwhelming her.”

‘Jaime looked away. Raven and he along with Garfield grew up together. For so long while it was only the three of them with Kori and Nightwing.

“No, I’ve known Rae the longest. And I know what it’s like to have nowhere to go. To have no options. I’m goin’ make sure she doesn’t feel like she’s a burden. I can stay calm and keep the bug under control. This is her choice to make and I can respect that. What she is going through can be frightening, I remember waking up with the bug, so out of control, helpless.”

Damian hated this! But it was not about him. This was about Raven. She had reached out to him and tried so hard to make him feel like he belonged. And they have so recently found each other, found a HOME in each other. She was undeniably the epicenter of his existence. It seems that they were not meant to be.

Connor hesitated; Donna bit her lip. Kori looked away and up at the ceiling light to stop herself from crying. Damian promptly walked away from them, to the back end of the room, just as the doors opened revealing Nightwing and Raven.

There weren't very many options. The options they had were the only options they had and they would make the best of it, they always did.

********

“Clean Bill of health“ Dick said cheerfully trying to lighten the mood.

Raven slowly walked into the room. Involuntarily felt the emotional temperature of the people assembled there and smiled shyly at them. “Richard tells me I am a part of a superhero team?“ It was a question disguised as a statement.

The others retreated to give Cyborg and ‘Jaime some space. They don’t want to overwhelm and crowd her. But, it was impossible to leave after they had just gotten her back. Luckily dining hall adjoined with the living space.

Victor could not help but smile back. Her smile was so infectious and open. He just couldn’t believe it. During her checkup in the medical ward earlier, Raven had been a model patient, incredibly polite, friendly and open. It took everything in him do not crush her and hold her and never let her go. He tried to tamp down his emotions.

Gesturing towards a couple of sofas in the lounge area “you must be hungry please have a seat. Can I get you anything?”

Raven followed him towards the sofas. sitting primly on a single seater She consider his question. She frowned and looked up at Victor quizzically “I am feeling quite thirsty. Do you know what I like to drink? “

Victor sat on the coffee table facing her. They would get one chance to do this and he hope he did it right. “I do. I actually knew you quite well. So I do know what you like. Would you like me to tell you all about yourself or would you like to stay with us and discover your likes and dislikes for yourself?”.

Charmed Raven smiled back, so much to consider… Everything was as if being experienced for the first time. She could understand the concepts such as she was sitting on the sofa, beverages could be hot or cold. The more she thought of it the more she knew that she was multilingual, but they were all just concepts, as if she had read them in a book or heard about them from somebody else. How did they apply to her, that was the question!

‘Jaime handed Ravan a glass of water and he too sat on a sofa near her. Giving her a reassuring smile Victor continued and made the offer. “Raven none of us who chose this have had the easiest life. For one reason or another we chose this life, you included. You have incredible power; Constantine must have told you.”

Raven nodded, listening to him seriously. She sensed his sincerity, concern and nervousness. If she focused on his feelings, she could interpret them.

“Well he’s right. We have fought a lot of battles together and saved each other’s and many lives. You were an amazing friend to us. And if you want, we will help you with a new identity, to protect yourself, live your life as a normal person. Your powers are a part of you though. You’ll have to train to control them. But You need never put yourself in danger or do anything that you used to.”

Raven felt him prepare himself, to try and not pressure her to choose the second option, an option he wanted very badly for Raven to choose. It was her turn to smile at him reassuringly “or?”

“Or you can choose to adopt Raven’s life as your own. The life of a super hero, a Titan. On your own terms of course. You can find out why you lost your memory, and how you were hurt. You could stay with us and we could help you. If superhero life holds absolutely no appeal, you can still stay with us for a while and make your choice later. We will always support you and ......” Cyborg pointedly looked at the Titans, who had slowly but surely moved towards him and Raven and were hovering.

Thinking it through Raven decided to stay. The emotions pouring out of these people in the room with her played a big role in her choice. In the end it was her choice. This body came with power and friends. She wanted to get to know herself, explore her abilities and these friends who seem to care so deeply.

Raven did not fool herself; emotions were multilayered and complex. Though she was new to this, she could already make out that there were conflicts between the team mates, which she did not understand, and could not sort out as it was based on information she yet did not have. Perhaps such a dynamic was normal among a group of people? But overall, she was ready to take them up on their offer.

These people, her former life’s friends, seemed to need reassurance, and Raven felt compelled to reassure them “yes. I would like to take you up on your offer. I want to stay here, I want to learn and explore, hone my abilities.” This was all she could commit to, whether she would continue on to be a Titan could be decided later. “Also, I get to keep my kitten”.

************

Excitement, at having an upper hand over Raven was palpable. Raven was incredibly intelligent and had been a bit of a know it all. This was probably the first time that the Titans knew more than she did. They were her teachers, they would get to comfort her and introduce her to the world.

This led to it becoming a contest. You can’t expect young superheroes with God like power living all together in a Tower, to not get competitive. Sometimes it was good-natured and sometimes it got out of hand.

Everyone knew best. Victor and Kori were like siblings to Raven so they knew her best. Garfield and Jamie were her oldest teammates so they knew her best. Damian and Raven had been incredibly close, she had given him Titus and had gotten even closer before the incident.

Nightwing was Nightwing. Donna was Raven’s closest friend, they practically grew up together from their teenagers to their early 20s. Out of all of them though, Connor was the only one who had woken up fully grown with powers and no memories.

It didn’t end there. Now that Raven was a blank slate, everyone wanted a tun.  She did not remember her past or her heritage. They had filled in some blanks but she was still healing and fragile. Having powers and abilities manifest is difficult on anyone. However, those who become heroes are at least enthusiastic about their powers. They are encourage to explore the boundaries of their abilities which they enjoy learning. With Raven that was not the case. From an early age she had been encouraged to suppress and control her emotions. It was explainedto her perhaps a little tactlessly that loss of control could be catastrophic. That was a huge burden to put on a child. And when the child grew up into an adult, the adult carried all that baggage of, well let’s just say not the most healthy upbringing.

All those reservations, secrecy combined with intelligence, competence and empathy filed kindness that Raven had demonstrated, led to her being One of the most speculated about topic among superheroes.

Raven without her memories, Raven was no longer hesitant to go out and try new things or as fearful of consequences.

Any superhero remotely in the vicinity or even this side of the continent, would just happen to pop in for a visit to Titans Tower. Superman and Wonder Women popped in one evening, they felt something in the atmosphere when they were flying and wanted Raven’s opinion. You can fly. 0h! How fortunate, we felt something amiss in the atmosphere, if you could just accompany us and lend us your supernatural expertise.

“What supernatural expertise?” Damian asked “she doesn’t have her memories. You can hardly expect her to be an expert after just a few weeks training with Constantine”. “I won’t have you putting a woman down, she has her instincts has she not” Wonder Woman went on undeterred.

Raven was not fooled, but she was drawn to positive emotions and the Justice leaguers were just so excited. Wonder woman who herself was incredibly powerful and made by the gods was as curious about Raven whose father was also an old God. There weren’t a lot of people who could fly in space and Superman was excited to have another hero join the ranks in that category.

Ever persistent Damian pointed out that they could easily send a Titan Jet along with few members of Justice league dark. the jet could be loaded with Instruments that could measure atmospheric conditions and such, the data of which could be helpful.

The Leaguers negated his suggestion with great alacrity and authority. Stating that it was just a hunch and they didn’t want to scare the public, which would happen if a  Titan jet showed up on radar. Since none of the Titans jets, most of which he had worked on personally, would ever show up on radar, this struck Cy as a flimsy excuse.

“Whatever you need Raven, I’m sure between the four of us we have you covered. Besides I’m sure I heard Constantine give you some hocus-pocus homework. Maybe this would count as extra credit?” Connor offered.

He was not about to miss a chance to fly with Superman, Wonder Woman AND Raven. Besides Conner’s hero worship, The Titans had tacitly agreed that Rae was not to be left alone with anyone, even those most trusted. A member of the team was to accompany her, always. They were sneaky about it and in this case, Kon really did want to fly with the Leaguers.

That night saw Wonder Woman, Superman, Superboy and Raven cloaked in illusion, leisurely fly all the way up to the atmosphere, then higher towards space, and then finally orbit Earth.

Most superheroes had a place, a spot to clear their thoughts, to contemplate life and their choices. Most superheroes with the ability to fly had at some point or another flown above the clouds, in joy or to get some perspective. No one forgot the wonder and majesty of a sun rising over the horizon or the night’s sky alight with stars, no longer hidden by light pollution.

But after a few years of superhero life, it was easy to get jaded. Watching the young empath’s innocent face light up with awe & happiness at the splendor before them, and to be the one to put it there, was an out of this world feeling.

Besides trips to gardens, natural wonders, Outer space, all in all new experiences, Titans had very strict ground rules about exertion: mental and physical. Raven’s health was being closely monitored by Cyborg along with Drs affiliated with the Justice league. Based on their advice Raven and the Titans had agreed to parameters. Training was important and so was building a life. Life was about connections old and new. That included having a life that didn’t solely revolve around being a superhero.

For the moment though, as Raven could only exert herself so much and use only so much of her ability, incremental increase being the objective, Titans started to try and one up each other. Who would introduce Raven to a newer, better more extravagant or meaningful experience?

Kori and Donna took Raven for shopping trips, multiple. Raven had been in stasis, healing for almost 3 months. In that time her room was intact. No one had dared enter, well except to retrieve her most cherished possessions and put them next to her while she healed.

While in stasis, her body floated above the medical bed, cocooned in dark purple energy. Dark purple energy undulated, stripes and swirls in shades of violet, amethyst towards the surface of the cocoon and lighter shades of lilac and Pearl could be seen closer to her body. Sometimes pulsing or alternatively vibrating with energy. The outer purple energy seemed to be for protection, as it treated anything foreign in its vicinity with absolute prejudice. Raven, unbeknownst to her had destroyed some of her favourite books, clothes and stuffed animals, that is before the Titans caught on.

Donna left soft blankets, pajamas and stuff toys, these according to Donna would give her most comfort. Kori contributed weapons and favourite outfits for when she woke up. Damian added books he knew she liked. Garfield kept picking up trinkets from all over - their Tower, town and Raven’s room to keep her company. Jamie put a couple of boxes of her favourite tea, in case she woke up and was thirsty. It took about 10 days for them to realise that the stuff was gone, and hours of reviewing security footage, only to see it all disintegrate.

Sans memory and possessions, Titans were only to happy in helping Raven fill the void. Tim wanted to introduce Raven to coffee. The logic was that she doesn’t remember preferring tea and he too could not lose this opportunity to convert his beverage nemesis.

Damian and Dick would not lose any chance to train her in their preferred fighting style and instrument. The katana is an elegant, precise and superior weapon, but really any sword was preferable. While Dick would not stop singing praises for his Escrima Sticks, they were versatile, could be modified in multiple ways, and did she want electrical charge at the end of hers? although all Robbins past and present were united in getting Raven a utility belt. Some of the pouches were pre-filled with essentials and a few awaiting Raven’s preference.

Conner suggested she add some red to the underside of her cloak, like him and Superman. while Garfield volunteered to get rid of her Cloak entirely citing hindrance during combat, to which Damian grudgingly agreed, though he added that Raven handle herself quite well either way.

Donna suggested addition of pants, while Starfire actually got a skirt, you may wish to try it she said helpfully, you may find it more comfortable.

Cyborg and Blue Beatle watched with amusement, rolling their eyes at some of the suggestions. Though come to think of it, we could get you lightweight gauntlets, which could store projectiles and even some of your magical stuff?

Hey, it was easy to get caught up!

Chapter Text

Flashback – almost 6 Months ago – a week or so since Raven awoke from her healing coma.

“Hey Rae, what you doing?

Garfield walked into the kitchen to see Raven sitting on the floor, her legs crossed, a platter full of various vegetarian and meat options and for some reason a camera on a tripod behind her. Arora, the kitten was in front of her playing with a slice of cucumber. She would investigate the slice by piercing it with her nails then bat it with her paws all the while jumping up away and then finally jumping towards it.

It was quite early in the day, but still a bright summer morning and Raven, new Raven? had been awake for nearly a week now. Her first week had mostly been psychological consults with Black Canary, Martian Man-Hunter and various League psychologists, with a few lessons from Constantine sprinkled in.

Getting closer, it looked to Gar that Rae was observing Arora and filming her behaviour? It was so weird and too early in the morning for this. Even for Raven, who is still an early riser. Most mornings would see her in their kitchen with whatever was most recently intriguing to her.

The first day found Raven with fashion magazines scattered all around their dining table. If anyone had doubted that this Raven was a different person in some ways, atleast a dozen fashion magazines would have dissuaded them from thinking otherwise. Donna, Kori and later Jinx was added into the mix, were helping Raven choose her wardrobe. They had spent the first night just getting to know each other and having a girl’s slumber party.

Kori didn’t normally, if ever pull rank, but that first night she had put her foot down. She’d moved back, a little more permanently to her room in Titans Tower and was insistent that Raven spend her first night awake with the girls. Nightwing backed her, and with their current leader and an ex-leader on the same page, everyone else grudgingly fell in line.

Garfield was not oblivious; he could see logic in Raven spending that first night with the girls. This Raven was quite straightforward, without any guile or self-consciousness. God only knew what questions she would have while she showered and got dressed for the first time, saw herself for the first time really. It was better that the girls dealt with that part, and answered any questions that Raven may have about all of that.

The fashion magazines, that morning almost a week ago, were all cut up, and little T-shirts, shorts, skirts she’d grouped in categories of some sort. Maybe by colour or how they went together or preference? Garfield had been with the Outlaws and as soon as he saw Raven was awake on video chat, he’d started on his way back. It has been a great trip great; a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he had a blast while hitchhiking behind trucks, in cattle transport, at the tail of migration birds’ formation. Every activity was saturated with joy.

So, when he entered the Tower, headed straight to their kitchen to get something to eat and then perhaps catch a few Zzzz’s before he went looking for Raven. To his shock and absolute delight there was Raven, sitting at the breakfast nook, alive and well, in maybe Donna’s clothes cutting snippets from fashion magazines.

Upon his entry, she rotated her stool to face him and greeted him with a smile. Garfield had been rooted to the spot, speechless while feelings of relief poured out of him. They had spoken to Raven as a team yesterday, and he had seen her via video chat. But now to be in her presence was just…. it all seems more real now, that all that worrying was finally over. Raven was alive and well, and yes, she was different, she was smiling openly at him, Garfield was a stranger to Rae, somebody only spoken to her once but maybe through her empathy she could feel what he was feeling, relieved and exuberant. At his continued silence Raven’s smile went from joyful to amused “hello Beast boy, do I not even warrant a hello?” Slowly and cautiously, so as to not repeat Starfire’s mistake, Garfield sat at the opposite end of the breakfast table occupied by Raven and asked her what these magazines were about.

Since then, every morning Garfield would find Raven occupying their kitchen, trying out teas, coffees, lemonade or some other beverage, while pouring through whatever had caught her fancy the previous day. The next day after her psychological evaluations and counselling sessions Raven was reading through material on amnesia and neurology.

Two days ago, after Constantine’s visit, Raven tried to prepare breakfast, with a recipe book open in front of her, using only powers. Gar observed that opening drawers and pulling out utensils was easier then say opening a cap of a milk container.

Luckily Raven had chosen to prepare porridge and was heating water using their electric kettle. She had not yet been able to open the cap on the milk carton and seemed quite far from actually igniting the gas. Garfield stayed far away from the milk container but offered to turn on the heat in their stove. And that was the morning that the newly awakened Raven gave Garfield her first pissed off look. And Garfield was finally home.

“This isn’t working” Raven had muttered and decided to change tactics, she levitates a milk carton over a big pan, poked a hole in said carton, using a knife and watched gravity do its work, as the milk poured down into the waiting pan. A packet of porridge met a similar fate. It was levitated over the pan, while a knife was used, said knife move seemingly on its own cutting haphazard streaks on the plastic packet, which also with the help of gravity fell/spilt over into the pan.

This telekinetic cooking was slow going, Raven finding work arounds and such, that soon rest of the Titans had joined them in the kitchen. Cyborg watched with amusement until Raven opened the spice rack.  With some fast-talking Tin-man convinced Raven to let him open the containers and put in requisite amounts of cinnamon and sugar. Raven after a brief period of worrying hesitation, mentally moved spices and sugar towards Cyborg, who caught then out of thin air and used them to season the porridge.

Damian who had been keeping his distance, filmed it all for posterity, Raven shared it with Constantine who couldn’t have been more proud.

******************

“So, to what do we owe this study of Arora?”. Was Gar worried? Maybe. Normally it was one of the Bats, Tim or even Damian experimenting and stuff. Raven really only read books in the common room, occasionally some sassy comeback or sarcastic remark would be heard from behind her book. She had an occult collection Gar knew, from sneaking into her room way back when. So, it stands to reason that she must practice and experiment there. But never really in their kitchen or before her teammates, or maybe never before Gar? No, he was being paranoid. Sure, Rae was getting closer to Conner out of the new joinees, if one considers Rae and Gar’s history mostly everyone was new. And she had even reconnected with Kori and Vic, but they were practically her siblings, so did that count? Was Gar feeling left out? Defiantly. Was he gonna do something about that? Yeah, he was getting up at the crack of dawn most mornings and spending this alone time with Rae, listening to her interests and giving his two cents.

“I’m trying to figure out Aroura’s handedness, of pawness. As in left or right. The Robins gave me homework!” That last part had her incredulous, if her high-pitched tone was any indication. “Are animals’ lefties and righties as well Rae?” were his animal transformations that way? He’d never really noticed if it was, but now that he thought of it, it usually went either way.

“Lateral bias” Raven went on to elaborate. “I spent all of yesterday afternoon with Dick, Donna and Damian trying to figure out which hand was my dominant hand. Not only that all sorts of tests where they threw things at me and I was to catch with either hand till I was comfortable with one. They don’t want to influence me” Raven sounded putout and curious at the same time. Gar could only imagine what all those training obsessed trio subjected her to. And new Rae participated. She was genuinely curious and interested in discovering herself, her personality through ‘action and reaction’, her words. “Could you be ambidextrous?” Rae slowly shook her head, distractedly “extremely rare, so much so as to be improbable”.  

“What’s the verdict?” Gar inquired. Raven finally shut off her camera, picked up her tripod and started to clean up a now empty platter of Aroras treats. “Well, she is right pawed, but left eyed, I think. It’s in the way she tilts her head”.

“Always nice to know, but I was talking about you, Rae”

“Me?” Raven stopped with her clean up and looked at Gar. Her faced betrayed a certain vulnerability that made all the early mornings worth it. According to Raven each discovery revealed more and more of her personality to her. Was she open minded about food or other things, what music she enjoyed and what all of these discoveries added up to? So, what did right-handed or left-handed have to do with Raven’s personality? He had to be patient, she would either confined in him or she won’t, but he wouldn’t push.

Raven continued to face him and he saw her steely resolve, she “maybe mixed handed or maybe even ambidextrous, as you suggested”. Raven took a deep breath, held it in for a few seconds, only to let it out through her mouth. She repeated this a few more times, with each exhale Raven looked more and more confident. As if she was accepting this part of her self into herself.  

**********************************

Flashback – almost 7 ½ Months later – a month or so since Raven awoke from her healing coma.

Nightwing waited at the Towers’ side of the long bridge separating the city from Titans Tower. He was leaning on his bike seemingly relaxed and casually observing the scenery before him. July was well into summer and it was gleaming ocean as far as his eyes could see. Starfire, Star or just Kori was finally going to come home tonight. This would probably be the first time in months that they could be together, alone, in their shared apartment and relax.

About a month after Raven woke up from her coma, she began to realise that not everyone lived at Titans Tower continuously or that a lot of them have family and lives outside the Tower. It was not that Raven was self-centered pre se, in fact opposite, but it took some time for her to it figure out and as soon as she did, she forcefully suggested that everyone get on with their lives.

Dick was all for it and excited to have Kori home with him. Just them being a couple after such a long time, he was also happy and relieved to see some of Raven’s old assertiveness and humour return.

Conner, Garfield, Donna and finally Victor and Kori were banished from Titans Tower.  At least for a little while and Jason, Jinx, Tim and Damian were to cover for them in case Titans were needed. Cassie and Wally had also decided to visit.

Damian hadn’t visited Gotham, or left Titans Tower for any extended period of time since Raven was injured. That was quite understandable of course their relationship being what it was. But even now he seemed so at place in the Tower, so a part of it, that Raven didn’t even really think to send him home. Or maybe whatever had gotten them close together earlier was helping them to connect now? Dick sure hoped so, for the sake of his brother that they were connecting. Damian didn’t really say anything, he never really ever did, but as his brother and someone who knew him for so long Dick knew that Damian was devastated. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like him if this had happened to him and Kori when they first got together.

The Teen Titans formed because Raven realised that Kori was not their enemy and that Starfire needed their help. Protection and that need to help others against insurmountable circumstances is what brought the Titans together. Dick was so thankful to Raven, because when he first encountered Kori he was deceived into thinking that she was the problem. No one would blame him, as she had destroyed most of downtown. Regardless, it was Raven’s empathy and her choice to listen to what her empathy was telling her, even though at that moment Starfire was destroying the world right before their very eyes.

Dick was not sure when he realised that he loved Starfire. That kiss definitely set him back a foot, but he was too serious for that to be enough for him to fall for someone. At the beginning, once they found themselves, at the very core of the Titans were friends. They believed in each other and they raised each other during their teenage years, when they felt that no one else believed in them, in their agency. They were individuals and a group. They definitely have their bad days but he couldn’t think of one specific moment where he wasn’t glad and grateful that they found each other. That they saved Star and saved the world with Raven, giving her that push, she needed to believe in herself and finally overcome her circumstances.

They together helped Victor to come to terms with himself and finally let go of his old life and dreams. With Garfield they allowed him to be himself and even though sometimes he took it to far they could appreciate that a part of him was suppressed for so long that he needed time to express himself.

Dick was the first Robin, and he was definitely the first Robin that Raven met. After that, through him or through the Titans she met all the other Robbins and various Bats, having relationship with all of them individual to that person. But now or at least earlier she was with Damian. When they were younger before Kori and he got together, he had definitely wondered about him and Raven, not that he’d ever pursue it. They were best friends and both serious, single minded in their pursuit of goals. So yeah, he thought about it, for a tiny amount of time. Raven was beautiful, graceful and so worldly but mostly behind her sarcasm and pain was the heart of their group.

She was somebody who was so aloof most of the time, so when you connected with her, you felt that you were special. When she consoled Victor after he lost his car, not trivialising it as an earthly possession, but really emphasizing with Vic and finally forming a bond that stood the test of time. Victor was practically living at Titans Tower again ever since Raven was injured and especially now that she had woken up.

With Beast Boy it was after he confronted an evil or primal part in him, that Raven reached out to him and helped him come to terms with himself, a part of himself that he was not proud of. Raven’s life was a little more tragic then most. She was to bring about the end of their world, a literal apocalypse. It was a little difficult to be chill with that hanging overhead. There were moments when it came out, when she let herself relax especially after she overcame her father for the first time. The teachings of very nature at Azarath, however always held her back. Dick was so happy for Raven right now. She definitely understood the seriousness of her Powers, Constantine and Kori and Victor made sure of that. But they also didn’t put the weight of the world on her shoulders.

After a while when the Titans started to feel effects of their hormones, once grown they realised that even though a couple of years had passed, Starfire had gone through her metamorphosis, Beast Boy had gotten taller like the rest of them and hit puberty. Raven though, hadn’t really changed that much, or aged all that much. They realised this luckily after they had built up some goodwill of their own as Titans, not just because of their mentors. They had access to the league and it was theorised that because of her heritage Raven not only aged more slowly than they did, after reaching maturity she may actually be immortal. Time in Azarath moved differently, besides Raven hadn’t interacted with a lot of children her age so it was never something that was noticed.

Dick looked up at the sunny blue sky, smiling sadly, he loved Kori, he did really, but there was always that ‘what could have been’. It really hasn’t made that much of a difference in his life. Once Kori and he got together and he became Nightwing, moving on from the Teen Titans. They all did. Victor eventually joined the league but Raven stayed on, she was a Titan when Tim was Robin and then finally with Damien. It was only after Damian and Raven started to notice each other, becoming skittish around one another and showing all the telltale signs of young love that Dick remembered. It had been a very long time, he has forgotten his little crush, but Damian’s little crush reminded him.

It was amazing to see how considerate Damian was for Raven, how accommodating he’d always been, while still not showing any special interest of preference. Now Damian went out of his way to train her and prepare her for the World or superhero life if she chose it. But he always did it in pairs or in a group. He could control his emotions but only to a certain extent. Luckily Raven was loved, the Titans, her family genuinely loved her, so in a group Damian’s love could be camouflaged and disguised, as something less then what it was.

Nightwing had, originally when he was Robin trained Raven in the basics of hand-to-hand combat. Being aware of your surroundings. The importance of situational awareness in relation to your teammates, civilians and obviously aggressors. In their hay day Teen Titans were a well-oiled crime fighting machine. It was all in training and practice.

Speaking of contribution to Ravens fighting skills, other Robbins: Tim and Jason had obviously in their own way improved and added to Raven’s combat and observation skills. Kori and Donna had contributed too, but somehow it was her rapport with Robins that Nightwing noticed more. Rae had influenced them as well. Every Robin had in their own way suffered some tragedy and wanted to fight crime to help people. One does not dedicate themselves to this life at such a young age otherwise. But there was an element of punishment, to stop perpetrators, a little bit of vengeance mixed in.  Rae with her empathy, influenced them by her actions, in a way where even Batman couldn’t. That things were not always what they seem, it was about helping people, what they stood for.

The Raven he knew, when she was herself would never hurt a living being. She was a vegetarian for god’s sake. But this Raven was not one that he knew, not as well as he’d known her. The line between protector and aggressor, or slipping into aggression was very thin and could happen easily. Having powers and intellect did not always Superhero make. Raven herself had pointed it out to him, so many doctors became villains. For they were so selfish and so focused on their own pain that they did not care if the world burned. It is so easy to rationalise violence, she had once said to him, she had been defending Azarath and their pacifism at the time. Even though she did not believe in absolute pacifism, but she saw merit in a world without aggression.

Privately, Nightwing thought that the monks had been quite aggressive in their training Raven mastery over her emotions. He’d never say that out loud, but none of them had particularly good childhoods. Fortunately, one of the most powerful beings in the known universe was one of the good guys. Raven had league therapists and the Titans and even Constantine to help her decide what her morality was. It was a dangerous time for the world and even the universe and they didn’t even know it. For the most part though, Raven without her memories were still Raven. She felt a little different but still herself.

The Zatara’s absence was quite conspicuous after Raven woke up. He would’ve thought they would be the 1st to want to influence a malleable Raven. There had been talk of her being a more active member of Justice League Dark or perhaps creating a magical Titans team. This was right about the time she was involved with Zachary. He had forgotten about all that.

Still, it was absolutely bizarre to re-train Raven along with Damien. Luckily because of muscle memory, Raven had always been a quick study, thirst for knowledge being a core of her personality, a curiosity that was magnified in this Raven. And to witness how Damian patiently and painstakingly familiarise Raven with sounds of nature. With help from Garfield, with whom he had a begrudgingly respectful relationship, Damian put so much effort into indigenous bird calls, even going so far has importing some flora and flora specific to the region in question, trying to make it an immersive experience. Holograms apparently weren’t enough for Damian’s Raven!

Raven was still a little new to the world to really appreciate the magnitude of his effort. The scale of planning and execution was astounding. It made Dick so proud of Damian, his selflessness and care, but sometimes his heart would break just seeing Damien be nonchalant about this whole situation.

What was truly weird was how Raven had her own animal sidekick, Aurora. The cat’s mysterious appearance at the Tower right about the time Raven woke up and if Damian was to be believed, at the incident was making everyone a little uneasy. Titus seems to be getting along with Arora though, and Damian’s love for animals kept him close to Raven, among other reasons. so it was a plus in Dick’s book, sorta.

Dick thought he may have to ‘fight’ Kori and Victor when it came to Damien & Raven’s relationship. He loved his brother obviously but he loved Raven too. And she hadn’t shown that much of interest romantically speaking. Dick knew she had something with Zachary and perhaps some others before Damian. He also knew that he was not biased and with Damien it was definitely something deeper. But his brother always put Raven first, and this situation with her not remembering him or their relationship was no exception. He himself felt Raven should not be pressured or burdened to step into her old life. Either to be a Titan or her relationship with him.

“Penny for your thoughts?”. Dick looked towards his left to find Kori flying towards him from Titan Tower. Kori was absolutely stunning, a real star, the way she shimmered and emitted light. No one got a jump on him anymore. His years as a Titan, his years in Gotham and the tragedy in his childhood made sure of that. Somehow though he always sat safe at Titan Tower, in a way that he never felt anywhere else. Smiling mysteriously Kori got a 20 out of her purse. At his amused expression “I don’t have change and I love you so I don’t think it’s too much of an over valuation for your thoughts”.

“No matter what Rae says, if you want to stay on for a bit longer..... I get it”

“No, it’s time to go home. I need to give them space and everyone needs to stop living in a bubble. But I am expecting a proper homecoming.” Kori dragged it out coyly.

Dick’s smile grew even brighter, revving his bike and handing Kori her helmet “hop on let’s get some takeout”

*************************************

Same day - Back at Titans Tower, Training Room

“Relax your whole body. Your whole body is loose. You are breathing slowly and deeply, easily.  Be aware of your body, the sensations in your mussels due to exercise and stress, healing it slowly.”

Raven was lying flat on her back, with her limbs loosely to her sides, while Damian guided her through relaxing meditation. Unbeknownst, the mat Raven was lying on had belonged to Damian. Many years ago, Robin had chosen his path, he loved his family but Damian had decided to go his own way, be his own person, not Batman’s nor his maternal families.

Through his travels he had discovered a non-violent way to hone his body. His home, he discovered was filled with knowledge and philosophy and reason, but his training under The league of Assassins had been focused on ruling through military might. All the stories that he had heard as a child had morals that steered him towards that. At last after he decided to be his own person, Damian went home, but explored it with new eyes. His heritage could be as benevolent as it could be aggressive. So, when he explored, he found a different way. And this mat that the woman he loved more than anything else in the world was laying down on, was a part of that journey.

“Relax your toes, allow the mind to come to a place of stillness. Feel the ground rise up to meet your feet and ground you, loosen your ankles, take your attention to your calves and allow them to loosen. There is no tension anywhere in your body……..”

He had his own mat; he was not foolish enough to give that to Raven. All his impressions, struggles, epiphanies or slow realisations would be imprinted on his mat. Not only would it be uncomfortable for Raven to meditate on it, if she did ever have access to it the jig would be up. If Raven ever had access do any of his personal items, items that over a period of time carried imprints of his emotions, all would be lost. When they were dating, Damian has realised that it was quite easy to influence Raven. She already has feelings for him and was therefore open and vulnerable to him. Not too dissimilar to their situation now. Raven, this Raven had not learnt to fully guard her emotions, her empathy and therefore could easily be influenced by the emotions of others. Damian has always had a high regard for Raven, ever since they had met and she treated him as a person, she and empathised with him and didn’t try to change or influence Damian’s worldview.

Ever since then, but especially when they became a couple, partners in real, Damian learnt that he could influence Raven via her empathy. This was because she loved his, was open to him and therefore vulnerable to his influence. By channeling his emotions in a certain way, he could divert that stimulus, letting Raven retain her autonomy. The months that she was in a coma reduced the lust part of Damian’s love for Raven and heightened the part of love that is unselfish and only hopes and wants health and happiness of the person who is loved. Consequently, now instead of focusing on his feelings for Raven, Damian focuses on Raven. He looks at her as a person and how he may help achieve her goals and not the object of his love. It is a kind of acting but something that he mastered while dating her, he would have heated to influence Raven by his feelings for her or any part of their relationship by manipulating her empathy in any way.

“……deepen your breaths and become more aware of what’s going on in your physical body”

Damian added this part to their cool down as this morning he had really pushed her. Obviously, Raven didn’t need help meditating, duh. Still after a particularly grueling session with swords, staffs and deflecting projectiles with her power, but only one power, Raven must be exhausted. Not that she’d ever admit it. Not that he would either. Raven always kept him on his toes. Every Titan was powerful of course. Raven though, she was something else. So versatile, quick on her feet and in total control of any situation. Was he biased, yes, but surly everyone left her lack in their missions and combat these past months?

Only something equally power and clever could have successfully ensnared Raven all those many months ago. Damian controlled his own breathing, letting feelings of guilt and especially survivors guilt flow out of him. These feelings weren’t productive and he was highly motivated to find who had done this. That this was a marathon and not a sprint is what he retold himself. Most days there wasn’t much progress and then suddenly they would have some leads.

At the moment though they had, mostly, decided not to burden Raven with it. They’d all had a say, with involvement from League psychologists. Finally, Kori had concluded that it was too dangerous and too early to mention the incident that led to Ravens’ coma and memory loss, to Raven during this phase in her recovery. To hold off on it for a little while. Damian was against it, he was all for Raven recovering and flourishing, but not at the cost of her autonomy. Knowledge was power cliché but true. He wanted Raven to have all the power, always. So were Donna and Vic as always, but also Conner, surprisingly was against keeping Raven in the dark. He was not aware of them being particularly close. He had to remember that he didn’t know this Raven as well as he’d know her. He had had to keep his distance. It was painful but absolutely necessary. His comfort was not his priority at the moment.

Damian’s com beeped just as he concluded guided meditation, which surprised both Raven and him. Their coms were on silent, only a Tower wide alert should have been herd. Damian checked; it was Cass. He had set an exception for Raven and Cass way back when and never changed it. It still held true no matter the change in Ravens’ feelings and their circumstances. And Cass would never abuse the coms.  

Raven looked to him curiously, concerned. He handed her his com as she approached. “Cass? Here”

********************

Chapter Text

The Day After undercover at the club - Present Day – Nine Months After

Wayne Manor

Damien found Raven levitating in her room by the far wall near the French  windows. It was late afternoon and the autumn sun light the sky orange, framing her alabaster and dark face. Saturating her skin, sun light framed like a halo or petals of a flower. When they were together they fantasised, in jest about their future children and Damian could see it clearly now, a girl with Raven’s skin, her sweet feminine sirens face, Raven’s midnight hair and his green eyes.

Damian has just had some breakfast. Jason loudly and gleefully informed him that Raven was up since dawn. His raucous battery of Damian’s senses continued all through out breakfast. Jason following him as he got some freshly made iced tea and toast. last night went as well as it could have, but all that drinking....

His elder brother went on and on about how fresh Raven looked this morning, enjoying watching Damian flinch. Damian envied that metabolism at the moment. Thought Raven always looked amazing to him so how this mornings appearance was news he didn’t know.

Apparently, she had already entered her report before breakfast and had an informal debrief with the bats during breakfast. Well Damian was glad the other had left for the day. In only Jason had joined them, then maybe he would enjoy some peace and quite. 

Finally, Alfred saved him by whipping up a quick breakfast of eggs and more toast to soak up any alcohol and sent into the kitchen to prepare a plate for Raven.

Damian, as per Alfred’s instructions went off to find Raven, as she had not turned up for the midday meal. 

So, carrying a tray leaden with food such as; pesto salad, chilled sweet ice tea and a caramel custard, Damian was hoping to find Raven crashed out from last night's activities. 

Instead, Damian enters her room to find Raven, looking like all his hopes and dreams come to life, levitating near the far side of the wall, completely engrossed with its contents.

After setting his burdens on the coffee table, he turned to look at what Raven was doing. The longest Wall of the room was covered with images; newspaper clippings and photographs, what can only be described runic artwork. All manner of print outs and Xerox of a variety of data; meteorological data, astrological charts, pieces of wood, cloth, leather and a couple of plastic sparkly stars of various colours. On top of that was a level of post-it notes denoting; anthropological, aetiology, translations in various languages, etymological significance of the original words and the translations. With each translation there were Accompanying geographical indicators sometimes floor, sometimes a geographical location like a mountain river a plateau sometimes monuments.

Damian was not sure how their dynamic had changed after last night, if it had changed at all. Had Raven felt a connection as he had? Had he only seen what he wanted to see reflected in her eyes, in how she moved against him and with him.  And the ever present dread of had last night, the closest Raven had been with him, beed because his feelings had influenced her. 

Damian swept those feelings of excitement, nervousness and apprehension aside and looking at the wall that held Raven’s attention completely, was compelled to ask “is all of this pertaining to the incident” startling Raven. 

“And what’s the significance of this colourful glittery, what’s the word ......pentagrams?”. Damian continued when Raven’s amethyst eyes, lightened by early evening light looked with his. 

So lost in thought was she that she dismissed two separate emotional beings closing in on her. Give her a break, she was an empath not omnipotent…….. 

“That’s right” an impressed Raven said, swinging her gaze back to her work “pentagrams, I found some glitter and plastic sticks in some art supplies. The kids helped me make them. The art room looks like a glitter bomb went off” she admitted sheepishly. He instantly forgave her, in his mind. God this was tough, was Raven always this adorable, or was it absence makes the heart fonder situation. 

Clearing his throat  “You shouldn’t’t let father's children monopolise you like that” Damian warned. Raven smiled and dismissed the idea with a wave of her hand.

“Shiny five-pointed stars aside, we normally collate everything on the Bat computer” Jason said, leaning against the door frame. 

He had followed Damian and was hoping to needle him some more. Cass and he had picked by the birds last night, providing silent and very invisible escort. They were to observe if anyone followed Damian, as he had gone as himself, which was always dangerous. 

Luckily or unluckily no one seem to suspect ‘the just another bored rich boy act’ Damian put on. They weren’t too worried about Raven being recognised as Barbara had mutely changed her appearance with makeup and clothes, Raven inhabited it. Not the most inscrutable disguised, but she was playing eye candy and well no one really takes them seriously. And Raven was convincing in it, she was not trying to look good, she embodied those characteristics one associates with her role and still somehow forgettable. The way she walked to the car, she was entitled and high maintenance to the T, with just a hint of privilege, as if untouched by the troubles of real life. Was such a life enviable, sure, but there were hundreds like her in every city in America.

Raven nodded, “we do too at the Tower. Sometimes however” she continued, gesturing with her hands “I need to tangibly feel...” She trailed off.

She introduced them to her wall that she had dubbed as ‘board of mysteries’ Constantine’s influence no doubt. Damian already knew a lot of this, but she wanted to get his take on all of it now that it was displayed. Jason loved playing the brute without a brain, but he hadn’t gotten to where he was, as Robin and again as notorious Red Hood by being simple and uncomplicated. Either way she sensed curiosity and eagerness from him, and he could usually be helpful and good company, when he got out of his own head. 

The sparkly stars were, “these represent constellations that need to be in prominence during certain events and rituals”. She continued to walk along the wall pointing to stone, wood, iron and metals, metals that was categorically more purified from ore leading up to alloys, it clicked, represented evolution by the ages. 

Seeing realisation in Jason expression, Raven enthused “yes, you see how the artwork evolves, from cave paintings to paintings on animal skins,” gesturing to leather next to printouts. “So as artwork progresses from wall to leather to pottery and in pigmentation, similar evolution in methodology and so do the complexities of rituals increase. As we started to purify metals, led to alchemy as a science and magic, we started to use gems or stones for their properties, but I am trying to find the context.....even language evolved, so did the glyphs and runes”

Caught up in Raven’s enthusiasm, the sheer complexity, research and analysis Jason moved towards the wall. It was easy to get caught up in Raven’s magnetism, but Damian cleared his throat and gesture towards sustenance. Jason, familiar with the compulsion to follow every thought and lead to distraction, in himself and in his family, was well aware that skipping meals did not help. In that vein he handed Raven a glass, sides of which were slick with condensation. Taken by surprise at the glass that was suddenly thrust at her she held it with both hands lest it slip. 

Having successfully distracted Raven, Jason guided her towards the food while Damian filled his hands with plate piled with food and cutlery, ready to handover to Raven the moment she set her glass down. Jason settled her on the sofa chair facing the wall and angled his head towards it “You sit here and eat, we will continue to work on your collage.” 

Raven all but spat out the sweet ice tea and spluttered “this is not a collage as I said before this is a mystery board, I do not do crafts” there was a great emphasis on crafts. Used to keeping her emotions in check, indignant was not a look often seen on the empath. 

Damian snorted, not sure whether to be offended by Raven’s dismissal of art or to correct her. The wall in question included newspaper, images, real-world objects and other giving everything new meaning and context. The final product was colourful, beautiful, while having multiple interpretations – a collage. 

Only Jason could somehow offend two people while offering help. “Distinction without a difference” he dismissed intoning in a put on intellectual tone, once Raven was distracted with the aroma and flavour of food.

*********

A few days later After Breakfast In The Bat-cave - Present 

“Guns Raven, really?” 

Of course, the Batcave had a gun range with stationary targets. And another one with moving targets that popped up from nowhere. Some of the targets had hand drawn Moustaches, baseball bat, various guns including what could only be the freeze gun. It didn’t end there, one mannequin had half its face de-faced, one wore goggles and it went on. Who knew Bats enjoyed jump scares so much.

“You don’t believe in guns. That’s a belief you share with us, if I recall correctly” Tim and Roy, also known as Arsenal where walking towards Raven and Jason. 

Jason had invited Roy to practice at their multipurpose archery, bat-a-rang, gun, really any kind of projectile slinging range. He has been alway for the Outlaws for a while now and about a fortnight at Gotham. His team was in the country and so he invited Roy. And it seemed Raven was also invited.

The last week had been information gathering, going through the information they had on all those shipments and those bank accounts. Raven was handling occult research with Jason, Cass and Damian helping with languages and tracking the artefacts at the warehouse. 

The data Raven syphoned were dense with well, data. Some of it run of the mill crime, a bribe here and crate of Cubans cleared customs, that sorta thing. Some of it was more exotic, like providence documents and lab equipment purchases.

By the end of the week his eyes hurt and it seemed Raven was ready to climb walls. Literally. Instead of her usual levitation, Jason found Raven flying backward through bing-wings acrobat course. 

So came the invite so shoot things. Raven wore the foldable switch blade he gave her, he observed he joy for all things physical and invited to expand her ballistic knowledge. 

Not that he minded, Roy hadn’t seen Raven in ages. He beamed “thinking of joining up with the Outlaws “, he nudged her shoulder with his. 

Raven frowned, and smiled back politely, retreated to move a little closer to Jason and a little away from Roy.

Oblivious Tim continued, a little high pitched “We are both aware the dangers these things represent. They make it too easy for any Joe blow on the road to give in to the dark urges. Settle for a violent solution”

Raven relaxed her stance and nodded to Tim. She felt what he was feeling, how could she not agree. 

“Yeah well sometimes a violent solution, is the only solution” Jason defended. He moved Raven beside him putting a comforting hand on her shoulder and looked meaningfully at Roy. 

Oh, Roy backed off immediately. He felt like an idiot. Got the message that while he was familiar with Raven, this Raven may not be familiar with him. Roy owed the empath. When he was lying in be close to death, she had held on to him and been strong when he was weak. I owe her so much. Should i have looked her up sooner, he thought guiltily. She has just gained her memory, she didn’t need him to mess things up for her. 

“Guns are far idiots, just point-and-shoot. No skill required. Like fast food. You want a weapon that is little more versatile. Not that anyone would ever disarm you Rae, but not everyone is an archer. Less likely for your weapon to be used against you” Roy boomed. He’d brought a spare bow, a smaller variety and offered it to Rae. 

Jason scoffed. 

Taking the olive branch for what it was worth Raven smiled back “I don’t necessarily disagree, but how’re you goin’ prove it?”

********

“You’ve been busy”. Barbara remarked entering the Cave. 

Standing by the printer, that was continuously churning out paper “decorating” Raven berated her efforts. “By putting everything up, I was hoping that they would provide a handhold or a mind hold, but so far I have encountered sub-par paperwork by the police.” Raven had added police reports of supernatural occurrences that made Barbara grimace. As far as she could see the incidences were written off by investigating police, each of the witnesses were either high on paint fumes, especially when homeless, crazy, or mainly basically just seeing things. Not the best look on cops. She could have contributed to bettering the Department from the inside out, but …….

“There is one promising oddity.” Raven walk up to Barbara and Damian, who had also enter the cave after his nightly patrol.  Raven held up a freshly painted page “I am so sorry. I never meant for anyone to be hurt”

“Handwriting analysis? Anything else discernible?”

Tim shook his head dejected. He was helping Raven move ‘mystery board’ to the Batcave. This way everyone could work on it. Besides, the walls of her room proved too small to display everything.  “It’s a dead end. The graffiti ink is of the most generic variety. They probably picked it up off the street”. 

“Everyone perceives the handwriting differently. There’s some type of spell on it” Raven added. “I have an emotional profile though. That could not be hidden, perhaps.” Raven continued to theories “If I met this person .... maybe, but I don’t think I can locate him just yet.”

“If we can’t analyse this handwriting how do you know it’s a he?” Barbara asked.  Raven had been spending considerable time at the watchtower. Vic had called in a solid, he wanted Raven to expand her skill set and her horizons. He didn’t want her to feel stuck with the Titans and so he introduced her to other ways to be a hero. Barb's way, form a distance her finger tip on each informational pulse. It took one meet and Babs had a fried for life in Raven and visa versa. Just an exceptionally open mined pupil. Raven didn’t try and fix her, but respected her, gave her space and valued her expertise. 

She finally understood why Damian and Cass were drawn to her. Babs had helped Cass compile a lot of her data on the incident. She wanted to be left out of it, but a lot of those papers in Raven’s file were her contribution, way before it became a joint opp.  

“I am still feeling my way through it but the more I use my powers the more I am coming to realise that its an art. It’s all about impressions and instinct and how I interpret them”.

“Any other reason for optimism?” Damian frowned. 

“The stylus or wand, is the only distinctive item. Dick’s investigation led him to a little shop in a newly gentrified neighbourhood of Bludhaven. But the shop owner thinks that it was most probably sold during one of those live action role-playing magical fantasy fairs. 

“Security there is a joke.” Tim added disheartened. He pulled up the location for the medieval fantasy fair, a lot near another warehouse district. Some office buildings scattered around. 

“I noticed Wonderland-gang’s headquarters nearby. I will persuade them to share their security footage for around that time.” Jason chimed in confidentially. “Normally there would be no footage, just CCTV, lucky Wonderland-gang is more dependent on robots and drones than humans”.

“Why approach them at all, I’m sure we can get in. I can put someone on it” Barbara offered “why tip our hand unnecessarily.”

“Even if it was a gift, we can still see who it finally went to. We’ll just have a lotta footage to comb through. So, any takers, shift 1, shift 2 or 3?” Jason rubbed his hand enthusiastically. 

Raven volunteered for shift one. Standing, she gave the board a lingering look “There has to be a pattern somewhere, I just can’t seem to find it right now”.

Damian also volunteered, after some hesitation on his part. 

***********

Tim fell into step with Raven, following her towards the Bat computer with its multiple screens. Just like old times, Tim could already smell brewing coffee, Raven would look through the security footage and Tim would use facial recognition on whatever she flagged. 

Tim stopped at the foot of the stairs and turned, noticing that Raven was no longer beside him. 

"When was the last time you slept?” She asked from atop the metal staircase, it served as a divider of sorts. The Batcave was a study, changing room, training facility, emergency med-ward, quarantine facility, crime lab, workshop, hangar and garage. Thinking on it “the night before last, possibly”, he answered uncertainly.

It was ridiculous to Raven that someone so young could practically run a conglomerate with absolute confidence, and yet be so open and vulnerable. “And your eyes?”. Rubbing his bloodshot eyes, “they still hurt” Tim replied matter of factly. 

“Coincidence?” Raven deadpanned. Coming out of his sleep deprived state Tim finally caught on, “I will sleep when we catch them Raven”. 

Raven raised an eyebrow. Tim faltered. “I will set you up on the Bat computer, get facial recognition running and then sleep?” Rolling her eyes Raven nodded and Tim sighed in relief. 

Setting up facial recognition, Tim was about to point out that reviewing footage and simultaneously running facial recognition was usually a two-person job and was about to offer staying for a little longer, when he heard a throat clear behind him. 

Damian unceremoniously nudged him out of his seat, took his place and proceeded to effortlessly work with Raven on the footage Jason & Barbara procured. 

Pretending it was his idea Tim informed them “and I’ll sleep for two hours and that’s it” Raven hid a smile while Damian looked up with surprise, as if he had forgotten Tim was standing there “are you still here?”

********* 

Flashback – 8 months later – a month or so since Raven awoke from her healing coma.

Raven faced Donna who was flanked by Kori and Conner. To Raven’s side but slightly forward was Damian. It was two against three, hardly a fair fight. But that was not their objective today. Today’s objective was for raven to observe Damian face corner. Damian was for the most part of human being. Because of his genetical make up he had reached the full potential that a human good, however he was not super powered. His superiority came from training diligently and mastering various skills. He was the base or format that Raven was to follow.

Connor approach Damian, he was fast, but slow enough to be perceived by human eyes. Both of them were standing in ready position, with Damien standing loosely with his left leg forward ready to pivot or doge… While Connor approached him with his guard up. With some fancy footwork so as to not give himself away. The fight starts with Connor fainting a left job while quickly striking with his left leg, aiming at Damian‘s knees. Quick as an adder, Damian moved back and used both his hands to deflect Connors kick. 

Conner bent his right knee, rotated it under Damien’s hands that were coming to deflect and went for his head. Damian was ready for the faint, he got his elbows up and with his bicep, deflected Connors foot somehow then locking it under his arm. 

Connor fell back, braced himself on the ground, using his trapped leg as leverage guided Damian over his shoulder. 

Damian kept a hold of Conner’s leg throughout the manoeuvre,  using it to continue to pull Conner forward towards him. With Damien on his back and Corner towards him by his leg, flat on his stomach. Damian in a complex manoeuvre trapped Corner’s leg against his torso and used his legs to pin Conner to the mat. 

Kori, who was playing referee and supervisor for their matches today, flew over them,  to see whether the hold was secure. “try to see if you can get out of it Conner, only using human strength and speed”, she reminded him. 

Conner sighed, rolled his eyes and tapped the mat twice in surrender.

My turn, Raven thought. She was going to face Donna with the same rules. Raven wore leather armour and carried a small sharp knife, pocket knife type thing with a swirling hing. A dark rag covered the bottom part of her face. Her outfit was a hybrid between Amazonian and League of Assassins. The armour was leather pants that reinforced vulnerable points, the top looked a bit like a trendy jacket, it also was reinforced with magic and flex-i-material. 

The point of this session was incognito. Meaning no powers. Donna had explain to her that there were times when she may have to pretend to be fully human. Going undercover. Instead, even if she decided to leave superhero life and pursue a normal one, taking up 100% human identity would be a good option. This outfit may raise some eyebrows but could be excused as cosplay, or perhaps a biker outfit, if Raven needed to blend in with city population and not give away her identity. 

The rules were simple, no superpowers; that means no portals, telekinesis or mind manipulation of any kind for Raven. And Donna couldn’t use superhuman strength or speed, magical objects were also forbidden. Raven dramatically removed her cloak, and with a flourish levitated it to a weapons chest. Donna in turn moved her arm back and wiped her lasso, the gold arched and caught a peg,  and Donna releasing it in such a way that it wound itself around the wood. Nearly breaking it. Donna smirked and Raven slow clapped mockingly. 

For the purpose of this particular session, there would be no weapons except those civilian could conceivably carry in normal life. That excluded any specialised weapons that required extensive martial arts training. Hence, Raven carried a small knife and pepper spray while Donna carried an extendable baton. 

Raven’s senses were on high alert, hyper-aware and hyper-sensitive to the smells around her; the training room with its sterile smell blended with a mix of wood and metal weapons, Kori hovering nearby silently with her feminine sent. A musky forest smell, reminiscent of spices – Damian, which brought with it a sense of longing and the unmistakable presence of a kryptonian – Conner. 

Raven catalogued all this in her the back of her mind, while blocking it out, slowly but steadily she was entering the zone. Only focus was the sound of Donna sandals as she stepped forward, slowly and cautiously trying to gauge Raven’s response. Raven felt adrenaline saturate her, even though this was a training session, the stakes would be real next time and Donna was a fierce opponent. Raven was determined to win, all these months of training, conditioning her body. She knew that she could take whatever Donna dished out, but still she couldn’t ignore the danger element. Donna would not hold back this time, knowing that this session today might be the difference between life and death in the future. 

Donna began cautiously circling Raven, trying to get a feel of her. I maintained eye contact, while letting her periphery catalogue Donna’s subtle body movements. Tensing of her  thigh muscles, foot position shifted, but instead she moved her hand to draw her extendable baton and flick it open to its full extent. 

To taunt or not to taunt? Thought Raven to herself. She saw Donna’s eyes flick towards Raven’s knife, still holstered on her left side. For today’s session Raven was a lefty. She had weighed all pros and cons. Pros being there were very few lefties and fighting odd handed person was always a little disorienting giving the lefty an advantage. The Con or disadvantage was that in real life being a lefty if noticed, being a rarity could be a fact that was remembered. 

Donna continued to move smoothly, circling this time towards my right, opposite to the side where her eyes had flickered, only a moment  ago. She moved gracefully, especially for such a tall person. I already knew she was, but just by watching her now, I would know just by her grace and her smooth, gliding movements that she was an exceptional warrior. 

I stuck to fingers in my mouth and whistled the most annoying whistle that Gar had ever taught me.“Are we here to model? We literally ageing here! Well not literally” I decided to make the first move, I rotated my neck menacingly, the move didn’t really work, Donna had a distinct height and therefor, reach advantage, not to mention decades of training advantage. 

I backed up to give myself room. Luckily, as sword was Donna’s primary weapon, she held her baton relatively high. I stepped forward using my momentum, hammered a side kick at her Baton. Most humans unarmed could only do so much damage. At the moment Donna was a human, albeit an incredibly tall one. 

Donna deflected my kick, moved forward to press her advantage, but I retreated, like I had seen Aurora do, light on my feet. She was here on the security console, to give me moral support by snoring away.  Donna’s horizontal strike left her side open, I moved in to take advantage. Donna deflected my blow and and I got a kick in the stomach for my troubles. I kept my body loose and rolled with the unavoidable kick. 

Donna strikes at Raven while she is rolling, hoping to catch her on the way up. I am ready for this and sweep her leg, staying low and to her left. Donna is smiling yet both she and Raven are determined and sweating.

Ravan has come a long way, Donna thought, she has only been practising for a little over two months and yet she is able to avoid Donna. In the 10 minutes or so that they have been sparring Donna has landed only one blow! 

Obviously Raven has had training before, but Donna’s sole focus was being a warrior. If Raven’s magic was in the mix, maybe then Donna would be in trouble. A certain lack of ruthlessness is also a factor, just because you could dominate and hurt someone doesn’t mean you will. Still, having a certain ruthlessness, fierceness and determination is what Donna and Kori were hoping to achieve in Raven. They could train her in every fighting styles & get her body to peek physical condition, still facing opponents in real life situations, but when bullets and knives flying in the air and still keeping your calm, that could not be taught, but was absolutely essential.

Donna swung her baton, Raven evaded, that was close, she literally felt its breath on her face and arms. Donna followed her, a horizontal blow this time left to right, again exposing her left side to Raven. To commit or not to commit.... Raven continued to doge. Damian sighed, but Raven didn’t let that influence her. She was hyper focused on Donna and her immediate surroundings. An earthquake or even the klaxon crime alert wouldn’t distract her now. 

Time begun to slow, each heartbeat, its lub dub longer and louder than normal. Donna continued to advance, Raven tracking and mirroring her in reverse, like a dance. Donna moved her baton towards Ravens right shoulder, Raven dogged it by pivoting side ways and back, in a single move she, using the force of the pivot, punched Donnas left shoulder. Donna paused, then as it was a valid punch at human speed she took a step back, any human would have staggered. Raven unsheathed a switch blade from her gauntlet disguised bracelet, snapped her arm and with unnatural precision aiming at Donna’s jugular. 

Normally Donna could have easily blocked it, but the point was human speed, strength and reflexes. 

“Nice knife” Donna commented. 

With a series of complicated gestures Raven played with the blade, a move Jason had taught her, an intimidation move that was very street. Over hear lights glinted off my blade .....and suddenly in my head pain coursed through me, setting every bit of my skin on fire. My heart beat filled my ears, a thundering rapid beat. I felt myself be consumed inch by inch, molecule by molecule. Unable to do anything and as metal, shiny, light glinting off it, was coming at me. 

I couldn’t move. I was frozen and unable to manipulate the metal ring, a lattice, worked with patterns, runes of something, to stop it from coming at me.  I looked on with horror, it would crush me. But I had survived worse that bits of solid metal. Still I knew I was in danger. Almost immobile, caught. 

I looked for escape, and in my periphery saw Damian was trying to get me out. 

He threw something, which exploded. Debris-rained down on me. But still the spelled metal ring continued on its trajectory, unmetered by the laws of physics. A spell had been activated, I couldn’t focus on dismantling it and protecting Damian. Decision made I warded Robin, physically as well as magically. Outside the sphere of this spells influence my powers seem to work. 

I could and will survive whatever this was. But not all my friends could, especially not my human love. I covered the structure, what was left of it after Damian’s explosion, with my power, the spell was directed at me I was sure but there was no accounting for fallout. 

Magic was complicated, even aimed at me there could be a catastrophic backlash, especially as I was somehow to be involved in the spell. I tried to commit the runes to memory. But in my last moments my eyes like magnets were glued to Damians. I tried to convey my love and that he should not worry about me. The desperate look on Damian’s face, watching him struggle to get to me, broke my heart. 

I took a deep fortifying breath, I can do anything and everything, within me are all things there, I called onto my power to protect me, in that desperate moment words of power popped into my mind  “Azarath Metrion Zinthos”.

**************

I opened my eyes to find that only a moment had passed, Donna looked impressed by my blade skills. Damian, Kori and Conner coming closer. Critique and suggestion time. We would brain storm what could have been done different, practice variations of old moves, they’d teach me new moves or spar again, or any combinations.

Damian was frowning as he looked at my face, I averted my eyes. But instead of looking away in guilt as I was about to do, I looked at Conner and showed off an even more complicated knife welding move with telekinesis, and with flourish worthy of a magician, teleported my blade to its secret sheath. 

Conner and Donna laughed at my flourish, but Kori joined Damian in frowning. Come to think of it all four of them looked curiously at her. Raven pretend to misunderstand. She went on about all the surreptitious compartments her civilian clothes could and did have. 

In elaborate detail Raven lamented about having a cloak with her civilian clothes. “It hides your movements. And don’t get me started on Nightwing and Redhood, both of whom as Robin had capes. Which really is the same thing. It concealers your movements!”  

Her team, her family let it go. Damian backed off, letting it go, for now.

******************************

Chapter Text

Now that you remember what you remember, and this year unburdened by your past. Well, I think what I am asking is, do you still want to continue? Oh maybe where’d you go from here?

We’re two sides of the same coin. You know”

“Exactly,” Cyborg said. “opposite sides. Why did you choose to join the Titans ?”

“ I almost didn’t if you remember. But also because I was hiding in plain sight.”

“And?”

Raven sighed. “Because I wanted to be happy with my life, what was left of it anyway, before..... well before. I had done some things when I was just a girl, and well ...... Adults around me again and again told me to, and praised me when I debased myself. When I escaped I wanted to just help, and The Titans let me be ‘the good guy,’ if only for a while.”

“And that’s a crucial difference between you and Headcase and others. Even Jinx till she decided to change sides. It is a choice you made between being an aggressor, or a protector.” 

Cyborg leaned forward. “You could’ve robbed banks or started you own cult, you are powerful, mysterious and charismatic enough.  You’ve had such opportunity again and again, to rule and subjugate and have followers.”

Raven broke eye contact, looking away. Embarrassed and not sure she agreed. Victor was ernest enough, but quite wrong. 

Not giving Raven a chance to withdraw, Vic lifted her chin with his metallic finder, “Instead you chose to protect and heal. Those who are weaker than you, pra tally most of the world. It’s as natural to you like breathing. I count myself to be very lucky to benefit from that, even if that urge sometimes takes you too far. Taking on really powerful opponents”

Raven shook her hear, disregard his point. 

“Trigon” Cyborg smirked. 

Raven scoffed. 

Chapter Text

Flashback – almost 8 Months later – about 2 month since Raven awoke from her healing coma.

“No need to be embarrassed Rae-Rae. It was a scary movie. I mean, you’re meant to get scarred”

The Titans in residence last night had courtesy of Garfield, Victor and Jamie decided to have a horror movie marathon. As it is their real lives weren’t scary enough, they needed fictional monsters with fake blood, crappy practical effects and jump scares to give them additional nightmares. 

Raven rolled her eyes, well in her mind she did. Outwardly she pretended to be scared. Apprehension more than fear. It was a movie, and she was literally a deamon. Well half on one at least. Regardless, she had seen scarier things in the house of mystery, and this isn’t even counting her memories or missions with Constantine.  She knew fear, this was not it.

She wanted to try out her magical training on Gar. To get back at him for last night. Vengeance was hers !!

Total sensory manipulation. With her body language, voice modulation, expressions and even her heartbeat and sent. Gar had amazing ears and hearing, too. It would take something to fool all his predator sense.

“I guess it was a little scary”. Raven pretended to capitulate. You don’t wanna be to eager. “but not that scary Gar”. Letting her apprehension at this, seem to be in response to last night’s film.

The common room was too bright. They were sitting on their lager couch, with Damian and Jon going through movies for tonight. ‘Jamie was looking over their shoulder, but he kept mum. Last night he had had his turn, no one was too keen to mess with Damian.

Too many people with their energies well, a lotta natural light. It was the end of summer, but still warm. If she wanted to get the illusion right, it needed to be subtle. Shadows coming out of nowhere would be too obvious. The darkness needed to be slow and creep in unnoticed, but finally noticed, the obsidian dark had to be overwhelming. 

With that goal in mind, as naturally as she could Raven finished her tea in one gulp and walked towards their shared kitchen. She continued speaking with Garfield hoping that he would follow her. “really it’s not Freddy Kruger who is scary.”

“It’s the psychological concept, being alone in the dark combined with no place not even your own dreams being safe.” Raven continued to look subdued and didn’t have to work very hard to fake a shiver. The movie was still fresh in her mind and she saw Garfield wince, it was fresh in his mind as well. Perfect. 

Raven walked into the pantry to get more tea, she’d already put a kettle on the stove with water. The pantry was a semi dark place, a little huddled in with shelves looming over you. Perfect.

“Can you imagine being all alone in the dark, at night.” In a hushed whisper. Raven started to elongate the shadows and pretended to be absolutely preoccupied with looking for a box of her preferred tea. “Imagine the eve of a new moon, the effect it would create. Each shadow holding an unknown.”

Garfield followed her, mesmerised. There was something mysterious about Raven in her flowery deep purple dress, silky amethyst scarf and dark heavy hair. Silver rings adorning her fingers and ears and her Chakra stone twinkling in the dim light. Eternal. 

Dazed, it was difficult to pinpoint what emotions she was invoking in him. Her hands gracefully moving from shelf to shelf, eyes fluttering about in the general direction. Trying to find her favourite beverage, half her attention on him while she admitted that something her had experienced, because of him that was actually scary and had frightened her. 

“You’re are not alone Rae, I mean I can turn into frightening monsters, sure. But Freddy Krueger creeping down a dark alley with his burned, disfigured face, dirty worn out clothes, metal-clawed hand and that creepy hat. It’s enough to make me sweat” 

At that, Raven pauses what she was doing. She turned to Garfield. Raven kept her gaze on the package of tea clutched in her nervous hands, reluctance projected by her very being. “I couldn’t sleep last night”, Raven confessed softly, looking down at her hands, as if afraid to admit this weakness. Garfield barely able to hear her, despite his preternatural ears. He leans in.

“I....I read up on the mythology” Raven continues as softly as before, she sneaks a look at him and quickly looks down at her fidgety hands. She bites her in nervousness,  “the character represents neglect, particularly that suffered by children. He also represents subconscious fears.” She confides in Garfield breathlessly. 

Garfield leans in closer, completely enchanted and taken in. Eager to hear more of what Rae has to say, her take on his favourite movies. 

He is consumed by glee and at the same time, a kind of dread. It pooled in the bottom of his stomach, caused by the dark and lonely, enclosed space they are in. He couldn’t hear anything but breathing. Raven’s and his. Just slightly uneven. Both their hearts beating just a little fast. And Raven’s scent, a little excited, somewhat mysterious and anticipatory, mix in with boxes of dried food surrounding them. He has no idea what’s going on, but whatever it is, he is eager, willing and hanging on with dear life. 

“One, two Freddie is coming for you,” Raven starts singing in an eerie voice that echoes all around them. 

“Three, four you’d better lock your door”. 

Garfield can’t look away from her, only her face is illuminated, it is suddenly cold and even though intellectually Gar knows that is the end of summer, still warm out, a chill is in his bones. 

“Five, six pick up the crucifix.” The details of the room elude him, he’s not even sure what his name is, in the moment his thoughts and senses consumed...he is all alone.

“Seven, eight you will never stay up late..”

“nine, ten you’ll never sleep again.....”

He is in complete darkness, all alone, no one else is there, feeling cold and detached he realises Raven has disappeared. 

He turns around with a jerk, there was a creeping sensation up his back, but no one is behind him. There is an unseen presence, but with the darkness so thick Gar can’t even see his shadow. He tries to leash his worry and anxiety, perhaps with some courage he could turn into an animal that can in the dark. Night vision. 

He hears something, an eerie laugh just to the left of him. Like a hyena, a little insane, causing goosebump break out on his skin. He turns to his left, hair rising. 

Something climbs up his right arm. It is ancient and primal, his lizard bain tells him. Garfield wheels to the right, jerks his arm towards him, his body is so tired.  Feeling drowsy. It’s such an effort to empty his mind and free his senses from worry, Gar is so weary. 

“Garfield” Raven says in a put upon voice.

“Gar!” Raven’s voice exclamation in it evident. “if you’re going to sleep standing up. In the pantry no less! Then you need to stop watching scary movies that keep you up all night!” 

Huh! Garfield opened his eyes to see Raven standing bit from him, hand on her hip indignant, with her other hand waving her tea box in front of his face, as if trying to get his attention. 

Confused, disoriented, in a daze Garfield’s eyes wandered aimlessly about, too disoriented for proper panic, numb with shock and dread. 

Finally, he somehow stumble led into the sunlit kitchen, moving out of Raven’s way. Now that he pays attention he can hear the shriek of the kettle. Raven with her tea box moves past him with jerky motions clearly showing her irritation. Once she in the kitchen, Raven ignores him and goes about preparing tea. 

Gar continues to stand there, disbelief and at a loss, watching Raven prepare tea of all things. After a couple of minutes, once tea has steeped for long enough, Raven pours a cup of tea for herself and sits the kettle down. 

She doesn’t do anything else, then sighs. Garfield by now is awake and himself enough to want some answers, what happened? Did she do something to him? Gar was a little freaked from the movie last night, but was her really that sleep deprived? and did he really imagine ..... all that? 

Garfield hears kitchen cabinets open behind him, right after that a mug floats to Raven. Who catches it and pours some tea. Biting her lips, contrite yet defiant, Raven meets his eyes and offers him a hot beverage. 

Gar’s eyes widen in shock. “Was it all a illusion?”. 

With a sigh, resigned “Some of it” Raven confesses. Again her expression reads a little bit amused and part apologetic. 

Garfield is not sure how to react. He’s definitely impressed. “Way better than any horror movie I’ve ever watched“!” 

He decides to enjoy the experience instead of getting mad. That was totally awesome, he could admit that. Not at all what he expected form any Raven.  

“Yeah?”  Raven asks unsure. A touch more apprehension seeping into her voice. Still questioning his reaction. She gestures towards a seat and he’s takes the seat closest to her, never looking away.

“Way cool” Garfield confirms, with obvious delight. 

Abruptly, they both burst out laughing. 

***********

A few days later - Flashback – almost 8 Months later – about 2 month or so since Raven awoke from her healing coma.

Damian wanted nothing to do with her, maybe she shouldn’t be so stuck in the past. He had not been nothing but friendly courteous and supportive. Just because she was into his lethal energy didn’t mean those feelings were returned. Or that they should be returned. Perhaps they were together once. But people change and grow apart. And maybe for a little while it was okay for her to be confused. To be stuck in the middle liking both coiled lethal energy as well as a loose-limbed confidence and easy grace, self deprecating yet somehow over confident sense of humour.

Perhaps she needs to accept things for what they are. She knows herself, yet they’re always more things to learn. New experiences that led her to re-evaluate old behaviours. 

Every time she’d seen him, he’d been a perfect gentleman, a perfect teammate. She knows he has a higher regard for her, this she has noticed. Further, once or twice she’d catch him looking at her, as something more than a mere teammate. Longing or something sexual shimmering in his emerald eyes. To be honest and fair—she found herself sneaking more than platonic glances at Damian as well.

“How can you tell I am upset” Raven with scepticism evident said. She was not usually petulant. At the very least she didn’t think she was. Was she? Maybe not always but at this very moment she definitely was. Pensive with a hint of petulance, had been disturbed from her pensive mood. 

Conner smirked, confidently but trying to be matter matter of fact he responded, “I can see tension in your jaw muscles, your heart and breathing is elevated and I can literally smell it off you”. 

“You! Stop smelling me”

“Regardless, you are practically projecting Rae”.

Raven checks, her seals are in place. Empathy was contained and was in no way projecting. Maybe she was not literally projecting, nonetheless Superboy here must have some inkling of her mood or he wouldn’t be here trying to get her out of it. 

Did she want to vent or did she want to self analyse? That was the biggest drawback of empathy. Rejection. So easy to sometimes feel strong emotions from others and then get swept away in them. But it was as easy for an empath to project her emotions, especially in stress which could lead to influencing others. Sometimes the confusion and doubt would affect the team. 

That is why, this fateful dawn saw Raven levitating high above the cloud cover, basking in sun light, away from any other mammals. She had checked flight plans of the area above Titans Tower and for quite a distance there should be no planes flying in her vicinity. Couldn’t account for superheroes though. Although to be fair to her due diligence, she hadn’t coincidently encountered Superboy, he has specifically come here to seek her out. 

“Kon, I care about you that is why I am telling you, it’s not the best idea to go around telling people that you can smell them! Discretion is advised” Raven quipped. 

Conner huffed a laugh, glad she had warmed up to him. Connors eyes widened in shock. Incredulous “What’s up with the sword?” 

Raven flushed with embarrassment, but held ground “incredibly effective weapon. Especially in close quarters. For long-range I have wrist gauntlets and throwing knives” Ravan showed him the sword Cassandra had gifted her and throwing knives that lacked handles in the traditional sense but had one side that was dull and blunt. 

The way Raven handled her sword, strapped to her back and the knives on her wrist. Her grace belied the short time she’d had them. Conner watched Raven, shaking his head. She was quite simply enchanting. Everything about Raven pleased him. He quelled a little jolt of pain that shot through him when he admitted how much he liked her. Or the accompanying fear, he wasn’t going to brood no more. He planned to enjoy friendship with Raven, but it had been a while since Raven awoke and he was going to let her know how he felt. Well some of it, dont wanna overwhelm her too soon. 

Raven filled his in. Cass appeared shortly after the Titans went home to visit their families or ex-Titans moved on with their lives. They were relieved by Jason, Cassie and the bunch. Cassandra Cain had been on a Mission, she didn’t talk about it much. Recently  though had she heard that Raven was up and about.

Ravan obviously did not remember their friendship but when Cassandra, who preferred to be known as Cass, reached out, she felt an instant kinship. There was no doubt in her mind that Cassandra and her had some sort of friendship or she trusted her at the very least.

Cassandra had offered to help. Or her initial offer had been one of information. Intel by just keeping her ears open on anything remotely related to the incident. They had met outside the Tower at one of many safe houses. This one that they met at was known to Damian, a sorta joined Bat safe house as it were.

Cass was a delight Raven felt. Her empathy was flooded with determination and drive to be better than ones circumstances. She didn’t remember Cassandra, did not know Cassandra, not in the way that Cass knew and remembered Raven. But because of empathy and a hint of precognition she KNEW Cassandra. Raven loved what she saw, on every level she respected and admired Cass. Overcoming all that she had, to wish to protect drove her, and her personality was absolutely entertaining. 

It helped that Cass instantly fell in love with Arora!

Raven was also driven in her own way. She couldn’t ignore Cass’s prowess. She wanted to learn from her. Tactics, martial arts and also to have her as her friend. A friend with no agenda but to guide and listen.

The last week has been glorious. Cass had her, with Damien supervising and Jason interjecting, use non-verbal communication all week. Either sign language, preferably Raven’s empathy or just from observation body language as a form of communication. This non-verbal communication was how Cass was trained, Raven later found out. 

While Cass guided and instructed her, Raven could see serious traumatic memories it brought up. Sometimes for a brief second Cass’s eyes would cloud and her expression would the full of sorrow and then be overwritten by determination. 

Raven never once offered to let Cass of the hook. She never once said “Cass, I can see that this is difficult for you, I don’t want to cause you any more pain, let’s just hang out. There is no need to train me if it’s bringing up these memories and so much hurt and pain”. Raven didn’t do nor did she say anything that would lead Cass to believe she felt this. Cass was proud and had overcome so much. Raven would not insult Cass in such a way. 

Besides that, or maybe because of it Raven used her empathy full tilt. “Read body language. Subtle micro expression and involuntary movements. Your empathy is a boon. But it is limited in its own way.” Cass had gifted her a sword and twelve throwing knives after she saw how Raven handled Damian’s spare weapons in the training room. “You respect them Raven and also see their beauty. Let me help you begin your own collection.” Cass insisted when Raven seemed to be about to decline. “There maybe times when you may need to close down any empathy” Cass had added, with a far away look. Raven was confused, but she took heed. There was much she did not know of the world, Arora and Raven had a lot to explore. 

Cass had her practice draw and sheathing most. “The draw needs to be quick, warm your wrists. Be comfortable with your weapons length, weight ..”. Raven sprained and twisted her wrist multiple times those two weeks. While Raven healed they would either take a break and chill or Cass would have her practice things like stealth “you can already manipulate shadows Raven, this is an advantage. Use it and improve upon it”,. Footwork “Dick has trained you to be light on your feet, this is essential, but sure footwork is the basis of a solid foundation”.

And finally “never to let your guard down. Always be aware of your surroundings Raven.” Cass had said one day. And Raven understood it for the farewell it was. With an embrace that lingered. Cass then defied physics, dissolving into shadow. 

Raven looked at Conner, realised he was actually impressed with her draw. Cass would be so proud. Raven would miss jumping off roof tops and spelunking, their long night talks. Jason had gifted her a small pistol, pitch black, matte finish - so it didn’t reflect light. The Irreverent and disrespectful - Jason Todd !

It made Cass sad though, she detested any weapon that could lead to collateral. But Jason gave it with such earnest intent, for her protection and to add to her weapons as Cass had, that she couldn’t find it in herself to refuse. Funnily enough though, later they loaded her pistol with rubber pellets and they all, and I mean everyone at Titans Tower took turns either - shooting or dodging. It was an insane game of doge -rubber pellets - ball. 

These people were insane. Watching them avoid being hit, all the dogging, handstands and... well Cassie could FLY. Raven gave Conner a once over, wondering if he could doge as well as Cassie while in flight. 

Conner returned her look. Looking her over and letting her know he liked what he saw. Conner kept his emotions and expression open.  In response to his open perusal and closeness, Raven’s eyes dilated and her breath speeded up. Though she showed all the signs of interest, Raven seemed unsure. Conner was, after all, the one to instigate a change in their relationship. So he backed off, flying at a respectable distance, giving her some space to accept him, reject him or to think about it. 

“I know we are friends Raven. I value you, and if that’s all you want, I’ll respect that.” Conner paused giving Raven an out. It hurt to do, it had to be done. Voice so husky Conner, cleared his throat “I will be wrong to keep this relationship as just friends, feeling the way I do.” It was difficult to pace while hovering in the sky, but Conner found it impossible to stay still. He found it impossible still, to look away from those vulnerable vibrant violet eyes. Was it too soon?

“When I was at the Kents these last few days I had time to think. To... to get some perspective on our relationship. Around, these feelings, which only seem to intensify”. He cleared his throat again, unable to continue. 

Raven didn’t answer. She looked stunned. Instead of filling the silence between them, Kon memorised the sharpness of her nose, Raven’s lips pink like in a fairy tale, her bottom full lip was being abused by her teeth while she pressed all he had revealed to her. Crinkles in her brow when she frowned in thought and concentration. Like now, while she decided, her judgement would change his world. 

Still, Raven stared at him. He studied her for a minute, bombarded by the reality of never seeing her again, of the fact that while Kon was away Damian finally made his move. She didn’t throw herself at him, but even though he fantasised about that, he’d been a little more realistic. The pain of her rejection was unlike any he’d ever known, he’d shied away from thinking too closely about any sort of negative outcome. 

Thinks logically, don’t let ego and fear cloud your judgement. If Damian had asked Raven to be with him, then Raven would have told Kon, while she filled him in on their time apart. Raven was genuinely happy to see him, Raven had genuinely missed Conner, of that he had no doubt. 

Had she missed him as a friend or as something more, that was the question.

In Conner’s mind, Raven had missed him as something more. She thought about him for every day he was away. Was that true in reality ?

Her eyes had snared him the first time they were introduced. He was a mess then and not really looking beyond himself. Still, even then Raven’s huge, almost translucent eyes, of oddest colours, violet darkness to deep purple. He’d seen a sky while flying one evening layered with those hues. When he realised he’d been staring, he’d cleared his throat uncomfortably, and moved on with his messed up life. 

He had grown since then. Raven was some how still the same. This calm presence, so wise and sage yet a part of this world and also outwardly. When he was told he would not age, he hadn’t been able to control his rage. Finally he had, with support from this team, his found family and later the Kents, he reached acceptance. Raven was in the same boat as him. Half and half, immortal and with all their power came so much baggage. 

Kon-El was almost invisible and invulnerable to most things, this goddess before him with her magic was an exception. Sometimes he feared the Luther part of him, he took solace in the fact that Raven would and could stop him, before things got too out of hand. Even back them Kon trusted her with his life. Trusted to do what needed to be done is he ever lost himself. 

They’ve always been friends, now though, after she shared the same white room experience that he had, they were even closer. His heart stuttered when Raven came back to them, when he found that he was in a unique position to help Raven. He couldn’t stop staring at her face even if he tried that day. Intense protectiveness he’d felt surprised even him. He didn’t think he’d ever seen such a perfect arrangement of features that made up her brave yet vulnerable and open, guileless expression that day. A restlessness, Raven stied his blood, but everyone’s emotions were at an all time high that day some two months ago, almost three now. 

After that as they continued to interact, his feelings also continued to grow, from mere protectiveness to something more. Just before Raven kicked Titans out of the tower, forcing them to move forward, he’d made her nervous. Not just his inquiries but his physical presence.

Enthralled by his seductive tone, his confession that he had been flirting with her and his eyes filled with male interest, Raven was pleasantly shocked. Kon-El’s gaze lingering on her face. It took her a long moment to realise Kon was waiting for a response “I, um…” Her breath caught as Kon brushed her hair off her chin, his warm fingers on her skin, hesitant but hopefull. She barely suppressed a shiver, her empathy in overload.

Finally, Raven spoke hesitant “Conner, I.... I don’t want to hurt you”. 

When Arora and Raven awoke, they were going to go on a big adventure, exploring this new world with endless possibilities. It was empathy that made her investigate the cafeteria in Titans Tower before they set off. She wasn’t sure when she would just pack up and leave on that adventure with Arora. Was is it fair to start a relationship when she wasn’t sure how long she planned to stay?

“Then don’t Raven” He tried to keep his voice even. Kon would respect her decision, whatever it was, but he wouldn’t let it go this easily. Kon captured her gaze, and held on for dear life, searching “Did I scare you Rae? By flirting? Is it too soon”.

Raven’s eyes widened, “no of course not. Nothing like that,” this is all very new, so many emotions. It surprised Raven that Conner could be so persistent. Care so much about her, and wanting to be with her. 

“Is there someone else, Raven?”

“No!” Raven responded, exclaimed more like. Her absolute surprise evident. With Cass and Jason and Damian all in one training room, Raven was able to discern, in unguarded moments that she had been romantically involved with either Jason or Damian, but not both. 

With Cass she felt love, but of a different kind and she was thankful and lucky to call Cass her friend. She was leaning towords Damian. Raven could have very easily used her empathy at full tilt, decided against it and rationalised that it was up to Damian to inform her if they had been together. If it was a choice he made not to approach her as a lover but as a teammate. Well then Raven was going to respect that. It hurt and Raven felt a little unloved. Raven could accept that Damian cared for her still, but he no longer seemed to love her. There was no one to blame, she was herself she was sure, but perhaps this version did not appeal to Damian, and well fair enough!  

Kon frowning, “why should it surprise you that somebody else besides me would want to be with you” not liking the continued look of confusion and vulnerability on her face, Kon went on “you’re incredibly special Raven, frustratingly selfless and self sacrificing”

In the dimness of the sun set, his hair looked dark, and his jet lashes cast long shadows against his tanned cheek. Raven was pretty sure she had a thing for dark glossy brunettes. During one of her excursions to Britain she met Zed, who let it “slip” during one of their talk about lovers, especially magical lovers that, Zachary had been one of Raven’s. Soon afterwards they’d gotten themselves into some hot water, but once all that was over and Raven returned to the Tower she’d looked him up. 

The name Zachary was obviously familiar. Tim had had Raven look into their old Case files and missions to learn from and see if Titan life was for her. Studying the old missions and some of the scraps that the Titans got too, stuff that the Titans still face propelled and motivated Raven to catch up and become a valuable member of their team. Raven still craved adventure with Arora, but leaving her team befret, was unacceptable to her. League psychologists had warned her and at some point or another all her teammates had assured her, rushing in to save them would be a liability, at the very least till she was better trained herself and trained to coordinate with them. 

Still, her reaction to Zachary, or at least his photo and his bio had perplexed Raven. She definitely found him attractive and he peaked her interest, but in a faraway way. More objective than subjective. Perhaps that is why they were ex-lovers and not together anymore. His lean fencers physique, made Raven realise that she’d prefer a more muscular martial artists body. 

Superboy was Superboy, she wouldn’t lie to herself, she definitely found him attractive and whenever he was near, merely his presence calmed Raven, and she immensely enjoyed his company. But was is she in love? And more importantly   was she ready for this? 

A romantic relationship while trying to figure out what she wanted from this life, boundaries of her power as well as her connection to Arora? Sometimes she felt overwhelmed.

Something of her emotions must’ve showed on her face, Conner move slowly towards Raven, he put an understanding hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. That decided it for her. This respect, this understanding, his maturity was devastating, way more then his incredible looks. “Yes”.

Conner moved, very gently, as if Raven was the most precious and delicate artefact, that needed careful handling. 

Kon laid his lips on her forehead, then her eye lids, followed by her cheeks and then finally very softly her lips met his. He murmured, barely audible, even through their closeness, she felt the words more than heard them, “we’ll take this slow, don’t think forever, but perhaps some indefinite period, as long as you’ll have me”. 

Raven was aware that she cared for Conner, was actually overwhelmed by the rush of affection she felt for him and was definitely attracted to him. But it was not a kind of all consuming love. And perhaps Connor cared more for her then she did for him. Maybe considering that he had more history with her than she had with him, it was to be expected. 

Looking at Conner intrigued a certain part of her and perhaps it was a infatuation that could someday lead to even love. At the moment though she was self-aware enough to know that the way love was described in poetry was not what she felt. She had found some some Asian literature lying around. Love across the salt desert had touched her heart in a way that no one had. It also introduced her to tall woman and short man. Which reminded her too much of the crucible and how even the most powerless people could, with cunning and evil heart ruin innocent lives, out of jealousy and greed. Sometimes she thought about how she came to lose her memory and going into her healing sleep. Perhaps somebody greedy and evil with less power had seen her and decided they would use her and take her power to get what they wanted.

With these thoughts in mind, sometimes rage and sometimes delight at the world would wage war for supremacy. And sometimes, in the deep silence of the cool night, alone with Arora, Raven just wanting to leave it all behind. Leaving all the people behind, while exploring worlds and other universes with Arora. 

How could she commit to anything with Connor, if she wasn’t even sure how long she was going to stay here. Here being Titans Tower or even the human world. Raven would hate to hurt him in anyway. He had a beautiful soul, one that spoke to her. She would hate to put any shadows on it. 

Then again he was a sentient being, Kon had put his feelings out there and was letting her make her own decision. It will only be fair if she told him how she felt and then let him decide whether he wanted to join her whenever & wherever she and Arora decided to expand their horizons, or to stay back & part ways. 

“I would love to run my hand through your hair, your voice, your very soul speaks to me. Conner, you are one of the nicest people I know. Your very presence makes me feel safe and it’s so calming on my empathy. You are absolutely amazing.”

Raven looked into Kon’s eyes, imploring him to see her honesty, her regard for him as well as her attraction and excitement of starting something amazing with him. 

“But?” Connor asked, slowly moved Raven’s hand towards his hair giving her permission to caress him. Leaning into her touch. Letting her know that whatever qualifiers she put forth, Kon was agreeable. 

“But” Raven continued with a sigh. Giving into the inevitable, Raven moved closer and embraced Corner. ‘But’ could wait.

After sometime later, they detangled from each other. Their embrace may have loosened, Connor is still framed her face with his hands slowly caressing her cheeks and playing with her hair. The intensity of his eyes did not lessen, forcing her to look down and away when it became too much for her. Kon let her hide, let her break eye contact but he didn’t let her go.

“What upset you enough to seek solace in the clouds?” It seemed love had made him a poet. 

“Troia” 

In response, Corner pulls her in close. As if his embrace could cure her pain. It was then that she realised Kon-El also did not age like a regular human. And she like Donna, being an immortal had found an almost perfect partner, at least keeping her immortality in mind. 

“Is that why?” Raven had to know. Had their slow ageing or immortality been a factor? 

She had just discovered about Donna II from the future, and it shook her to her very core. Connor knew about Troia a lot longer than she did. Perhaps he considered their longevity before he asked her out?

Conner laughed, he couldn’t believe that Raven was insecure. She was utterly unique and if she knew half of what he felt, any insecurity would evaporate. Kon  didn’t want to overwhelm her though, so he shook his head in denial and moved to assuage any insecurities and second thoughts, using only his body and his lips. 

*************

Kon finally released Raven, they'd inevitably have to join the real world. Slowly the new couple descended to Titan Towers rooftop. Arora was waiting for Raven, she stressed and yowled in annoyance. Raven created a ramp for her and Arora used it to reach Raven, still somehow managing to show her displeasure.

Some of the relief had left as the Titans started to pour back in. Some stayed on. Flying in Kon directly approached Raven and hadn’t really paid much attention to the Tower. He had been informed that Cassie was gonna be part of their relief, but he’d had a lot on his mind to really dwell on that. 

Now is new ..... girlfriend........ more than teammate certainly was going to come face to face with his old girlfriend. If he could, he would begin to sweat. 

Reading his discomfort Raven raised a questioning brow. With great reluctance Conner filled her in. They had just somewhat gotten together, sort off. No time to have ex related conversations. Well no time like the present. 

After letting him stew for a bit, “I know Kon. I spent almost 2 weeks with her.”

Still sceptical, Kon nodded like a simp he was. 

Raven couldn’t quite hid her amusement, which came bubbly out in the form of laughter, jostling Arora. Who promptly jumped off Raven’s should, her preferred perch and with a very human huff entered the Tower. 

Alone again Raven turned to Kon, “I know about Cassie and there maybe other. And I know I also have been with other people”

“Did you remember Rae?” Kon instantly at her side, her hand in his, fingers intertwined. Lending whatever support he could. 

Raven shook her head, looking into the sky, the dying sun with its riot of colours dimming before she added “I pieced it together. Zed let it slip about Zachary and well........” Raven trailed off. Conner let her. It seemed she had not yet come to terms with her relationship with Damian, maybe someone else.

No probably Damian. 

This is better Kon thought. Raven knows and still she choses me. It will take time to get over, but this was better. A huge hurdle was crossed, a relief really. 

“Are you ok?” In response Raven only shrugged. 

Chapter Text

Day 1 of this tremulous year - 31st December - 1 January 

New yeas’s party. Somewhere is Nevada, U.S.A

Raven leaned back on a wrought iron railing. Raven reflected that this evening was not going at all as they had planned. The railing was a wrap around kind, it’s curve hugging her back. Wrapping around one of the many porticoes, to maximise the scenic effect of this magnificent property.

With a starry sky above her, surrounded by nature, Raven wondered why anyone would be indoors if this was waiting for them outside. Sporadically, sounds of revelry would reach her ears, sometimes bombard her empathy, draw her attention to the party inside. But Raven was content to stay out here and star gaze. A moment away from her problems. Or to be able to surreptitiously deal with her problems, out of sight. 

Creaking of crickets and scurrying of small nocturnal creatures also reached her ears and empathy. She’d rather focus on that. Animals were much simpler and honest. They loved and natured, only harming to feed or defend. She missed her team. If only she was Raven tonight. Things would’ve been much easier.

Raven looked into the night, unseeing. An owl hooted from far away, bringing her back. A desert fox howled in triumph. Someone was having dinner, while someone was dinner. Raven understood, but preferred vegetarianism herself. 

Breathing deeply of the night, Raven contemplated going back in. Joining the party. Sigh. Because Raven was usually quite, people wrongly assumed she didn’t enjoy parties. They couldn’t have been more wrong. Damian and Raven were together for about a year now, and they’d enjoyed night life of almost every country, most regions and all major cities. The world was literally their oyster.  

This party was as swanky as they came. A far cry for club hopping or street parties Raven and Damian frequently preferred. Though the music was more elemental or organic, it was anonymity that drew them.  

A huge mansion rose from the trees reminiscent of the ruins at Cairo and Thebes. The monstrosity show cased the splendour of royal palaces, even  built of brick and wood with some stone elements and lining with precious metals.

Raven turned towards the party, her back to the darkness and into sparkles and music indoors. She’d get the same view on the terrace, just above her. They’d studied the layout prior to accepting the invite. Damian, son of Mr. Bruce Wayne was invited. 

Usually the Wayne heirs celebrated New Years by hosting their own party. Invites were coveted but it was mostly family, friends of the family and close business associates. 

So how was Mr. Damian Wayne, heir apparent attending this gala in middle of no where rural Nevada. Well, his girlfriend was not the right pedigree you see. New money and all that. There was precedent for missing the Wayne New Year gala. Tim had missed it a couple of years ago, to close a deal with some old money elite types who were unsure of the young Drake-Wayne. It raised eyebrows, but ultimately not too scandalous or out of the ordinary.

Then there was Jason, after he was declared alive, missing most of the party one year during his rebellious phase. 

Dick was unable to attend New Year’s his first year on the force of Bhluhaven. It was hazing for the rookies. Bruce could’ve pulled some strings, but both guardian and adult ward let it be. Dick wanted to be more independent and it was a rite of passage, with all newbies everywhere had to pass through. But even the Wayne’s wouldn’t sneeze at this party.

Raven looked to her right, the mansion was mostly single story, consisted of multiple wings opening into majestic porticos, with a huge lake behind her. Through her psychometry she’d confirmed the plans they’d studied were more or less accurate. 

Damian had taken the lead while Raven had followed beside him. Raven was astounded by how many of the artefacts on display were originals. Very few were imitations in fact. She kept surprise and awe off her face as much as she could, but it was pointless and keeping a straight face would be more odd. As if she frequently attended parties with what must be the largest cash of Egyptian artefacts -  smuggled, privately owned or curated in any museum.

A lotta tombs raided. Raven thought, keeping a frown off her face. When would the living learn to respect the dead. But moving on.  

The mansion was approached through gigantic doorways by means of two ramps rising in opposite directions on either side leading to a porch, a two pronged driveway. 

They approached the venue via controlled entry, Damian remarked “like in forts as a defensive measure.” Their chauffeur, Jamie, after dropping them was promptly directed to a parking area near the boundary of the property.

Damian helped Raven out the car and presented his arm, guiding her through the entrance. It was bordered by colossal statues of pharaohs, queens and gods from the Egyptian pantheon, that escorted them all the way to the central hall. Raven couldn’t help but comment and marvel at how well preserved they were. While they waited to be announced, Raven leaned on Damian, closed her eyes and got her first lay of the land. 

Entry way to the Ballroom was decorated with painted murals representing delightful scenes of ancient Egyptian family life. Couples and families joined them, awaiting their turn to be announced or pass them on the way to the garden. The garden in front of the north facade of this building, the most opulent for honoured guests. It was a replica of those found in the oasis of Egypt. 

Damian Wayne and his guest, Rachel Roth were announced. A tall man with dark eyes and swarthy skin, his voice boomed, amplified by magic. That seemed to be the theme here. 

Through the door plush chairs and tables, were tucked in and around alcoves bordering the central hall. The world’s elite sat, and mingled, conversing and being seen. A large number of them magical. 

Fake laughter floated towards them, after reflected light from diamonds, rubies and emeralds larger then most fingers or ears they adorned. 

Raven fingered amethysts adorning her wrists. Damian’s New Year’s and one year anniversary present to her. There had been some debate as to whether she’d accept and or wear it this evening. Damian’s lips quirked, a smug smile for him.  But he kept his mouth shut. Wise man. Raven pinched his arm where she held him as he escorted her to the nearest display. 

Waiters glided through the gathering, invisible, but effortlessly feeding and watering the guests. 

“Mingle with me for a while. Then drift and make contact with your magical peers”. Raven nodded. If Damian had to repeat the plan to her again, the atmosphere must have him on edge. As it did her. 

Damian’s entrance was noticed. Young, striking, rich, known to be intelligent and ruthless, he garnered all kinds of attention. 

Raven had activated one of her more high profile alias for this party. An orphan relative of an earlier influential but every extinct family, nowadays coming from new money. Her dress - midnight at the hem faded to Persian blue to turquoise, hints of indigo and finally white. The white had gold piping and accents clinching under her breasts as if tied by gold rope. A little homage to the party’s team of ancient Egypt.

The dress also played into her alias, striking and memorable but not too luxurious. Her persona- well educated but nothing too special. Worth knowing because she studied and worked in the ancient cultures department. But as an employee or consultant. Not to socialise with beyond that. 

Change of hair colour to darkest black, contacts and make up were her only disguise to her visage. She didn’t want to risk her magic’s adverse reaction to anything here. Besides this was her go to alias when with Damian. They studied at uni together. 

Raven made polite conversation, while Damian greeted business associates and other tycoons present. Some so full of lies and manipulation that it hurt her empathy and some so genuine it soothed her soul. As unobtrusively as Raven could manage, she drifted seeking magical items. Some magical guests were superheroes and in the know about the Bats, many were not. 

Everyone was here; prince Khufu, playing up his heritage, escorting princess Chay-Ara, as lovely and fierce as ever. Rex Mason, Raven was sure he would be there - still looking for a cure. She should approach him, later as Raven - offer assistance. 

They moved along the room, greeting people they would know as their civilian selves. Scattered in the crowd, but towering over even tall men, were beautiful, strong warrior women - Amazons of the Bana. She had counted on them being here too. If things went south she’d abandon her alias in a heartbeat. She could easily teleport Damian and herself out. But large group teleports, she’d be out of commission for a while after, a hopefully successful teleport. 

Damian was against Raven burning Rachel Roth, just for extraction. What he meant was, just to protect him. 

While marvelling at all the relics and archeological finds displayed,  Raven continued to look around for possible allies and exit straggles all the while cataloging the potency of art and relics surrounding her. Princess Diana of Themyscira, a goddess among women. Good, she had heard the Amazons were trying to meaningfully engage the Amazon’s of Bana. 

Many other people of note, there presence expected, though not hoped for. Many people would do anything for ever the chance at greater power. Mr. Simon Stagg and his type came to mind.

A server passed by. Feeling parched, Raven picked up a soda with ice and lime. She wanted to keep a clear head. Thanking him, she spotted Zachary Zatana. Self proclaimed- greatest teenage magician. But he was a teenager no more.

Of course he’d be here. It seemed he had been aware of her, before she noticed him. He was pretending not to know her, she did the same. But she was not fooled, waves of strong emotions were leaking off him. If she had to narrow it down, at its core - determination. And he’d chose a perfect time to approach. For now he looked at me in passing as if he had no idea who I was, but had the audacity to check me out. And I returned his gaze, with indifference. I was on a date, being escorted by Damian.

Raven sighed again. This was becoming a habit she thought. Not used to being so self indulgent. 7 planets were visible to the naked eyes tonight, she mused.  Was that significant. She’d have to think on it.

A litter longer with her private pity party. Then she’d re-joined this lavish party before her. Seeing an ex was never pleasant, not that Raven had many of those. But with Zach, they’d just been too young, wanting different things in life. Unable to understand why the other didn’t agree with their way. It had been disappointing and sad, all that connection and potential lost. 

*************

“I don’t love you. Not the way you deserve to be loved”. Those were the last words Raven had said to Zach. Followed by “I’m sorry”. Not as sorry as Zach had been obviously. Considering he still loved her. Even after so many years. 

Watching Raven on Damian Wayne’s arm hurt. It didn’t matter that he was her teammate. That this was probably a mission or recon of some sort. The Robins were big on investigation and Raven was big on intel. This was probably just fact finding or keeping tabs on any or all of these movers and shakers in attendance. 

Zach nursed his forth whiskey since he saw the Titans enter together. They had been mingling effortlessly, Damian aloof and Raven charming. Her empathy and basic human goodness shining through, drawing people to flock around her. To bask in her innate goodness.  

“He didn’t give me the impression that there was anything larger going on, but clearly his actions are part of some complicated plan.” Zach had heard Raven confide in Damian. 

The party was magically lit up. Newer technology was un-reliable in its functioning. They were in was the middle of winter yet flowers native to warmer climates were in full bloom. If he really paid attention, the flowers were native to Africa and the Mediterranean. So was the decor and theme of the party. Magic. That was the draw. Magic users from all over had congregated on the promise of real ancient magic. Never discovered before artefacts. 

Zach was a master of all non-organic material. In this he rivalled anyone. Even Raven. Raven was an empath, but proficient at telekinesis and other disciplines. Zach was a Master in his field, naturally talented, he had spent hours honing his talent. He had also had a lot of growing up to do since Raven and he parted ways. He was less boastful as he was more sure of himself. He was more honest with himself and that clarity let him to get over his insecurities. 

Perhaps this was his chance to tell her that.

Raven was proficient at psychometry. She had on numerous occasions been involved with The parapsychological institute of the Rijksuniversiteit te Utrecht in the Netherlands and their experiments using psychometry in finding lost persons or things and in solving crimes. 

Raven and Zach had toured the world, sharing their powers as the real deal. So as to encourage others their age to come forward and train. To not hide away in fear of their abilities, to be later used or abused, but control their own destiny. That was one of Raven’s powers too. 

Raven still mentored and lectures there, so he was certain Raven would be in attendance tonight. There were too many magical objects involved, and in the hero’s experience, left unattended, could wreck havoc. 

In attendance were a veritable who’s who from superheroes, in and out of costumes. a slew of archaeologists and other renowned academics interested in tonight’s display. There were diplomats as well from African nations, arguing that any relics discovered form their respective nations should be returned to them.

Zach was himself curious, but Zatana has also encouraged him to attend. The relics and artefacts were rumoured to be ancient Egyptian. Dr. Fate who now wore her father and his uncle was also tied to Egyptian object. The Helm of Fate and the amulet of Anubis. 

**************

It was just past midnight. She had these memories of midnight, but they weren’t real. Someone had tried to manipulate her recollection of events. Raven had strong mental willpower. Her discipline was mostly mental – empathy, telepathy, teleportation and even telekinesis, to name a few. All stemming from the same place, her will and her mind. 

Besides that her seals were impressive by any standards. It was easy for her to manipulate others and through ......herself. It was for sure that someone tried to alter her memory and perception. 

The memory was implanted as surely as it was fake. Now only to figure out and pinpoint who had done it. The likes of Dr. Psycho and Muse had failed. Who was strong enough to actually implant such a vivid memory, even though Raven was aware it was not her’s.

To trace back her steps to before Raven was certain she was herself. It was about a few hours into the party, maybe half an hour to midnight. Raven and Damian had fulfilled their social obligations. They had mingled, taking their time exploring. Raven had scoped out the relics on display and otherwise, magically, theoretically. Damian checked their providence on an airgap database disguised as a smart watch. Most of the antiques and art on display were never before documented. 

That was about the time the Titans were greeted by their illustrious host. He informed them of the ORGANISATION, that had made all this possible. A total nonprofit whose only goal was to preserve ancient heritage sites. Yeah, right.

There were multiple divisions, he was part of the Egyptian preservation effort. His division covered most of North Africa and some parts of the Mediterranean. He graciously offered them a grand tour, which the birds gratefully accepted. 

Damian nodded along, listening to his pitch, waiting for the right moment to donate to such a worthy cause, and request some pieces for their corporate office.  The general public may view these antiques of course, moreover they will be cared for as such delicate heritage should be handled. 

By the time that part of the conversation was settled, they’d toured most of the ground floor, covering wings on either side and were nearing the main central hall, where the party was being held. 

Raven in a hushed whisper, as if something that could not be said allowed asked about “historical artefacts imbued with dangerous supernatural properties.”

Their Host only laughed, winked and continued on with the tour of the private and very illegal museum. 

Damian walked on with their Host, while Raven lagged behind, a closer second look never hurt. Nothing stood out as particularly dangerous. But that didn’t say much. With the right combination of power as amplifier, well one never knew. 

Raven was a psychometric, and she didn’t even need to touch objects most of the time. Unless a imprint was really weak, she could get impressions. This was not always the case. Usually touch was essential in the practice of psychometry. Over years Raven honed that ability, and now she could get impressions from a few feet away, with bulletproof glass and vacuumed separating her and the object. 

Moreover, Raven had not come to the party to investigate anything in particular or overstepping her bounds. She was here to do a job, to simply observe if anything stood to out. If anything did, they’d deal with it later. As superheroes or send lawyers. 

Damian discreetly looked back, Raven looked down - negative. 

Nothing in particular stood out. They were all of immense historical significance, but only little magical. Raven decided to make Rachel Roth scarce, and later appear as Raven. Raven could be more magically obvious and more thorough as well. Raven as Rachel had continued to lag behind indicating for Damian to go ahead. 

This was about all she could conclusively remember. Fireworks exploded, over the water celebrating the New Year, in streaks of gold and all manner of a rainbow. 

Raven sipped her drink, trying to remember how one was to be found in her hand. Raven had taken a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and then returned to the varanda, she thought back. 

After touring two wings or either side of her and the ballroom, Raven had been standing alone so that she could release her soul self and explore the rest of the property clandestinely. 

How had she been alone at midnight. So much so that somehow a false memory was planted. Damian was as dedicated to his relationship with her as he was to any endeavour. They had begun their relationship last year around New Year’s. And then to believe that he didn’t want to spend the stroke of midnight with her. If Damian ever got tired of her, Raven mused, he would tell her outright. As manipulative and strategic as Damian could be, in relationships he was just straightforward. So if he didn’t reach her by midnight then he was detained or she’d been hidden from him. Neither bodes well. 

Raven had walked in on a group of people admiring the art on display, here due to its age it was incased in glass. A stunning woman dressed in blush pink pointed to a necklace displayed, having no description. Delicate gold scarabs alternated with gold date-shaped pendants and polished carnelian beads. 

"The beetles are symbolic of life internal” Zachary’s voice drifted to her, as he explained to the group. "It is certainly from ancient Egypt. Our host swears Nefertiti wore it while she was in power."

After that the group moved on, Zach stayed behind. Raven continued to study the artefacts on display. Zach continued to wait patiently, his glance direct, wanting to catch Raven’s eyes. 

“Looking for something in particular ?” Zach attempted conversation. His voice a rich and baritone, not at all like when they last spoke. About 3 years ago. Not sure how to play it Raven shrugged. Raven’s alias didn’t publicly know Zach, but he was a famous magician. A celebrity, and in U.S. of A. at least quite well known. 

“Just taking it all in.” Raven gestured to encompass everything “The collection is grander than in any museum I’ve ever visited.” Raven smiled politely “Hi, I’m Rachel Roth. No need to tell me who you are. I’ve caught one of your cousins shows while she was touring in Gotham. It was amazing, luckily my boyfriend’s family had tickets”. 

Raven didn’t want to be rude, still it was better to set the tone early on. Anyone could be listening. 

Without missing a beat while keeping a respectable distance Zach asked “find anything you like? The items here are for sale, for the right price of course.”

Raven met his gaze and laughed lightly “no, just a lot of things I dont need.”

Zach grinned conspiratly in turn “That is how is usually is in life.”

Zach turned serious, he added “All these things we dont need, some one will discover them, or make them. People are always looking to worship any devil.”

“Is that why you’re here?” Raven shrugged, nonchalant. 

“There was a thing created, an abomination. It was not created for harm but its use was twisted and can be used to take instead of giving life. Substitution substitution really.” 

“Is that what brought you here?” It was Zachary‘s turn to shrug.

“Zatanna still looking for ways to free Giovanni?” Zach tapped the tip of his nose. “what a thing to say. A family is honoured have its member serve as a Lord of order.”

Raven didn’t doubt her abilities but they’re always ways to circumvent something. Build a firewall and create a hacker. Create an unbreakable vault, safe crackers would crawl out of the woodwork, and someone always succeeded at cracking it. Her defences were not doubt but Raven did not believe in absolutes. 

That’s what she liked about the last two Robbins. Tim and Damian didn’t jump to conclusions. If she told them that she couldn’t sense anything malevolent from artefacts and relics in this building, then they’d factor that into consideration. They would also factor that there could be something that was in this groups possession but not in the building at the moment. They would factor some sort of a dampening field and finally that somebody could have the the ability to deceive Raven. 

Raven had at multiple occasions defeated opponents with mental powers. But there was always a first time for anything. Many of her opponents that she defeated had been defeated for the first time by her. The same could easily happen to her, it did not do to be complacent. This planted memory was prime example. Raven couldn’t think of anyone, anyone known to them, and their database was considerable, who could implant a false memory, let alone penetrate her shields.

It has started with ruffling of the air in front of her, a light breeze, a gentle movement almost unnoticeable. Then his mouth covered hers. She closed her eyes, feeling as though she were being swept through time. She really wanted him to kiss her. She didn’t move be able to find out as much as she could in the dark. 

Magic rose behind Raven like a nest of invisible rattle snakes slithering towards her. Sensation reverberated through her skull, reaching deep into my mind. Magic crashed against Raven, a powerful hard surge egging her on, and broke against Raven’s will. A psionic. Psymon ?

Raven paused and didn’t fired back. Rachel Roth didn’t have any such powers. The magic was strong, frightening even, but so was Raven’s. If Raven wanted, she could break this invader. And it was an invasion of the highest order. She wanted to so badly. And if she did use even a minuscule power to attack, she could end up revealing more than she wished.

She felt phantom wind wrestling off in front of her. It was barely perceptible, a light breeze. Then a mouth covered her face, she closed her eyes feeling as though she were being swept through time. Her body grew hot. She’d never experienced a kiss this powerful or ever been so completely consumed. She felt as though all her senses had been heightened to focus on and receive this kiss.  There was nothing beyond the kiss. And the kiss became more intense, until everything melted away except against lips, teeth, hunger, power.

The kiss ended. 

Breathing heavily, she’d slowly opened her eyes as if awakening from a dream. All she’d wanted to do is lose herself in his deep sea greens. She wanted to see in his eyes that he was feeling exactly what she was. But no one was there. 

Right a psych attach. 

She had just kissed someone. But in her own mind and it was not real, it was not Damian, so no sea green eyes for her.

Turning slightly, she saw Damian standing nearby. Smiling and making his way to her. At her confusion, Damian’s smile dropped. Damian edged around other people. From the side  a stunning woman bumped into her, worded excuse me before walking on. Before she could react, Damian pulled her close, concern in his eyes. He was sad they’d missed their mid-night kiss, but Raven was seriously worried. It was not mere pouting, which she did only around him.

Raven wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting to kiss him. This time for real, but not wanting to give the game away. “About time you got back here” she told him. 

Understanding lit his features. He masked it by lowering his mouth in a sweet romantic kiss. Desperate to feel what she only felt with Damien, Raven rose up to her tip toes expecting him to deepen their kiss. Instead, he move his lips gently over hers. Comforting, offering his love and compassion. 

She didn’t feel anything as she had felt just moments before. The excitement, the passion, or the hunger that she had felt just a moment ago, it had felt unnatural then, a little too perfect, as if a dream. 

Dread sat in Raven’s stomach. The kiss from a moment ago was not with Damian. His words to her and this current kiss clinched it “I couldn’t find you in the dark,  Beloved. We missed the mid-night New Years kiss” he informed her. “Next year” he inquired, keeping it light. 

Who’d kissed her then? If it wasn’t Damian. 

Raven turned her head around, trying to figure out who was closest. But people were moving quickly, caught up in the chaos that was New Years. Damian didn’t seem to notice her disappointment, but caught on to her confusion.

So, it definitely was an psychic attach, a false memory. No one had been close enough. It would not have escaped her empathy. No presence that generated energy was beyond her empathic reach. And close so as to kiss, it was nearly impossible 

Swallowing hard, Raven looked into the depths of his ocean eyes. So vast. And found solace. She felt a quick flicker in his heartbeat, more than that though, she saw genuine interest. 

Another Kiss my beloved, Damian’s eyes asked. Raven wouldn’t mind at all. A grin spread across his face. Good. He lowered his lips. Raven close the rise, rose up to his toes, and wrapped herself around his neck. 

The kiss was even more than she’d anticipated. Selflessness with warmth and tenderness, it made her feel special, like she was the only woman Damian had ever cared about. After a long lingering moment when it finally ended, she felt lightheaded, breathless and in Nirvana. She looked up at him, his arms around her, and was absolutely content. 

The danger may still be lurking, but being with Damian lessen the burden. Someone at this party had attacked her, invaded her mind, planted a false memory. It felt wrong and Raven felt her shields were compromised, that she was unsafe in her own mind. But her powers were filed by emotion. Damian’s support gave her strength, like nothing else did. It was so pure and unwavering, his support and confidence in her. 

Taking a deep breath Raven fortified her shields. Then she told Damian of her false memory. 

In faux angry whispers Damian hissed back “Could it be the same thing that’s causing temperate weather in December?”

“Correlation not causation” Raven replied, not faking her frown and unease one bit. “Could be the same magic user, but this type of greenhouse effect, keeping it stable for so long.....”

Damian nodded and pointed at the flourishing vegetation, as if put out by something. His actions jerky.  

Raven gave voice to her thoughts “Even if it is an artefact, for the same object to affect this micro climate and also be used to invade my mind. Unlikely.” 

“But not impossible.” Raven shrugged, helplessness to give any definitive answer. “Most Gods have multiple areas of influence. E.g. Dionysius was the Greek god of wine and also madness. Though somehow this translated to him drowning and  trans-mutating sailors.”

“Same with Egyptian Gods?” Damian asked. He was aware of most classical and ancient cultures - The league of Assassins had excellent tutors on a variety of subjects that interacted. Also grandfather who is hundreds of years old and had actually seen the rise and fall of many civilisations. 

All civilisations traded and treated with each other.  Art in the form of sculptures, rugs, ornaments from all the ancient civilisations littered most league of Assassin compounds. 

“I don’t see any one particular influence.” Raven gestured empathetic “This mansion is like a palace of old. It’s Gardens with ponds of floating flowers. Even how the buildings are spaced, mostly single story in height but otherwise sprawling. Other than that there is no one theme. It’s like a museum exhibit of Egypt, but not divided by region or any category that I can make out.”

“That could be on purpose.” Damian shook his head as if disagreeing.

“It could be” Raven conceded, frustrated at the lack to single thread to pull on. “Zach can help.” 

As one the Titans parted. As if after a lovers spat. Raven, Rachel Roth stomped off, seemingly in the random direction and went to discreetly intercept Zach. While Damian would be visibly drowning his sorrows in copious amounts of booze.  

Not really faking mild distress, Raven disappeared form the ball room, the crowd focused on the Wayne heir. 

From shadows, out of sight and out, watched as Damian walk away form his date. 

*****************

Zach saw the Titans part. They’d just had a public split, or so it seemed. It also seemed that Raven or Rachel Roth wanted to re-acquaint herself with him after a public break with Damian Wayne. 

Zach had shown her special attention, so it stood to reason he guessed. Funny how he was to step in now, while earlier Raven wouldn’t even make eye contact. 

Though his mastery was over inorganic matter, he had a minor talent with organic matter as well. Only his family and Raven were aware of this ability of his. It really was not of much consequence. But he had sensed foreign magic surrounding Raven around midnight. This whole place gave off vibes, so he wasn’t sure what had happened to her. 

“there is at least Psimon involved.” Raven confided in Zachary. She had been his teammate and Titan. They were easy patterns to get back into. 

There it was, finally, his chance of a confrontation. He would make them pay.

They walked past another display of relics, artefacts and just objects in the form of rugs and walls full of hieroglyphs that were excavated and somehow looked like this formed part of the natural running wall. A bit under a thick protective sheet of glass. 

They came across another veranda, Raven took in a deep breath of fresh air. Zachary leaned on the railing. “And the weather mage’s involvement”

“Our host or this preservation society has employed weather mages. It’s undeniable. Temperate climate in December. But that doesn’t mean that they’re involved in some conspiracy. If such a conspiracy even exists.”

“So to recap, all the heavy hitters are here. Let’s face it, this place is chock-full of magic. You were attacked. We don’t know how many agendas are at play.”

Raven created a bubble of energy interference, a bubble where no sound could be heard outside but they could be seen and only vague words would be heard which had no relation to what they were saying or actually doing. 

Raven missed Damian. It was silly but she trusted him with her life, and now she had to play this charade. Well Raven didn’t have to liked it, but she could handle it. That had not been her first time pretending to be weaker than she was, pretending to cower from her social superiors. 

She’d avoided being outed as Raven, but she’d been forced to flee to Zach. He had backed her play, but still. What a mess. 

She’d to get to the bottom of this, which was probably only possible with Raven’s powers. And she needed to get to them sooner rather than later.

“We know I was targeted. By someone strong enough to implant a memory. Did they hit Rachel Roth or Raven of the teen Titans?” Through this energy bubble Raven released her soul self. 

A obsidian Raven, invisible in the darkness flew, threw one of the terraces that made the top floor of the mansion. High, high above the compound. Raven opened herself to magic looking for the highest concentration or something hidden. Letting her instincts guide her. 

No one was paying any special attention to her. Had they moved on or lost sight of her. Lost interest once Rachel Roth, Damian’s date left him ?

Raven hung on to Zach, breathing hard. She’d trained herself to use her teammates which included Zachary as an anchor, to catch onto in an instant. After almost losing herself and all the titans joined with her in the time stream, it was the first safe guard Damian put in place. Zachary knew how to pull her soul self back, if it was separated from her body for too long—but he’d rarely had to use such training.

An owl hooted, somewhere to her right as her soul-self, blended with the shadows, easy to do at night, and entered one of the side buildings. She froze and just hung there for a moment, blending in, listening for any alarms being raised. 

From the looks of it, it would have been a temple of worship. Cats and grain everywhere. Maybe Bastet or even Sekhmet, some cat goddess, because there was images of grainy, cats and mummified animals. 

Nothing. Silence.

This property was a big place. It was bound to have ambient noise and lights, the party, the cars, a stray shadow should be easy to disregard.

Hopefully.

Zachary took her hand away from the railing, just to hold, and used it to pull on Raven’s soul self. Then he formed a connection and listened.

The building told her of water, and rain, and oil, and jars full of grain, its contents for millennia…

And also how it’d been moved, brick by brick, from an oasis, where it had stood forever. To this desert, just a while back. Raven took this info with a grain of salt. A building this old, time was relative. Judging from the ware and tear, the move was ... a while back. According to the trees, maybe 20 years or so. 

Raven cast her senses around the outer chambers, receptions and hallways and to the boundary wall. No one. On one alive that is. But there were large, thick walls about four or five inches —and plenty of room in between ........

It had an inner chambers, some of which were hazy in her minds eye. Difficult to discern. Unfazed, Raven’s soul self leapt up and grabbed onto an essence, then pulled herself towards it,  and placed her soul self on the top. 

Second-floor windows were on either side of her, old and thick with webs. For ventilation, as they were facing north and high up in the building, she speculated, trying to orient her self better. 

Raven was pushing her soul self to its limit. She continued on, from the outer courtyard to the halls and then slipped upto the inner chamber, visible through one window, and peered in. 

Raven, with a grunt moved to go further. It was an effort. She paused, to go on or not to go on. Not with her soul self separated from her body this long. Yet she was so close, the building was not fully shielded. Only this inner chamber was concealed. 

She needed a way into the hidden place and then out of this, and fast.

She looked at the stone walls in front of her, thinking. Then she sighed, moved over to it, and hesitated.

She did not want to spend her strength to its limit. But she had no choice. A mental attack and shielding of corporal things. Two different types of magic. It could mean a conspiracy and an alliance. 

The walls spoke to her. The wall told her of bricks - sun, elaborate interlocking molds, of rains, of creeping moss, of the tiny footfalls of billion insects that had traversed over it throughout the millennia. 

The surface of the wall bloomed in her mind, and she felt every aged crack and every crumble, every bit of stone and mortar and plaster mixture of mud, water and chaff. Stain of each stone - every tool, strike of stone and wooden hammers, copper saws and drills using moistened sand and emery, adzes, chisels, plumb bobs, wooden triangles, knotted ropes, and simple alidades. 

All of this information, wave after wave, the second she interacted with the chambers. She had to hold the waves back, a tsunami more like, and only focus on the whole and not each individual stone. And among this avalanche of knowledge was a dark spot. Something was hidden. 

Loose bits of information lit up her mind. The stones for this chamber were old, like really old. Limestone and basalt, same as the rest of the structure. With an alabaster misshapen sculpture. It looked like there had been a small alter here once, but it’d crumbled up eons ago. An idol. 

Four walls, thick ones, stood before her soul self. And on the other side, some kind of closed, dark space. She examined it. The space within was quite small, about 5 feet wide and tall. Small spaces really didn’t matter, not to her soul self. 

She instantly knew how to find a way in, as if she’d built the inner most chamber herself. 

Her soul self lowered, from the edge of the containment and started to descend. Her head was pounding, her hands hurt, and she was just recovering from a mental attack. 

Like peals of an onion the chamber was revealing its secrets. Every day objects, common place to a temple lay in various state of ruin. Some were intact, new and old and ancient. Benign and some brimming with magic. Small bodies littered the ground, mummified remains. Raven hesitated to see of what. There’s an curious-looking object on one side, she perceived. Not an statue nor a mummy. Even older that the temple or the chamber it was in. Ancient. 

Full of something, brimming with ..... potential ... power

Her soul self went to touched the object, finally they would know what this ORGANISATION was hiding and, and. 

She was being pulled back. Like an over extended rubber band. It all started to rush back. Pulled back to her body. 

Her soul over taxed. She’d only just begun to reach the meat of the matter and .... she’d been willing to bear the pain.

Zach must’ve pulled her back.  Dant it, Raven thought, exhausted. 

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Titans Tower - Flashback – almost 8 Months later – about 2 month since Raven awoke from her healing coma. [early August]

I gave Arora a hug and left her to soak in the mid-morning sunlight.

I scoop some tea into the ceramic tea kettle and put some water on the gas for heating.

I was considering skipping toast, and having bread as is, perhaps with a bit of fruit preserve, when I noticed my favourite kettle on the counter already had tea brewing in it. Judging from the aroma wafting to my nose now that I’d noticed, the tea was a rich hibiscus blend. One of my favourites for late mornings.

Damian?

For me?

Aurora, content with her patch of sunlight looked up. I follow her gaze to find Connor, walking into the kitchen. A smile on his face in hello, an empty cereal bowl and spoon in hand.

What was more likely? That Connor was a tea drinker, or he’d brewed this tea for me?

How to ask without sounding conceited.

“Please,” Conner Kent, Superboy, said mimics a formal bow, “enjoy the tea, I left for you.”

Well that answered that.

I looked to Aurora for her opinion.

The cat didn't look like she cared too much. Her head back on the kitchen floor, eyes closed, back to soaking in the sun.

Today was to be our first date. Kon’s and mine. And he started the day with the sweetest gesture. A gesture that showed me he paid attention and cared.

Dressed in his go to 6 pocket, heavy duty trousers of a deep blue and a white T-shirt with sleeves halfway down his muscular arms, his hair black as night curls around his face, unruly as ever. His eyes sparkles in delight upon seeing me.

I don't know what he saw on my face. His emotions so clearly projected, they drowned out any uncertainty or nervousness, I may have felt.

Dressed in a Navy skort with multiple inbuilt pockets and a peasant blouse of light blue, I tie a belt with pouches for my Magic gear and mace disguised as tacky bling. I hope I am properly attired. I chose my clothes based on Corner’s this morning.

“Leave it to me,” he’d said a week age when he asked me out and I said yes. He’s keeping our destination a surprise. I've been awake for  more or less two months so I'm glad he's taking the lead here. My jewellery are stud earrings in silver - best for storing Magic and a purple velvet choker necklace,  nothing dangly in case our date involves flying.

I rummaged my cupboard for my pink satchel, chuck in my com disguised as a cell phone, some money, ID, a lip gloss, mascara, sunscreen, sunglasses, hat, a hot pink mirror with Kori’s and my picture on it and a few hair ties before I turned off all the lights, slipped on the comfiest sandals and opened a portal to the Titans garage, where I’d wait for Connor.

I consider detouring to the kitchen to pick up a trail mix and then disregard the idea. If I feel hungry, I've already got the pantry mapped out in my mind eye. Snacks are only a teleport away.

Once in the garage, I am in on one of the civilian cars we will probably use for the day. I think of how Connor knows me. He has known me a lot longer than I have known him. He knows my taste in food and music. My Tea preferences depending on the occasion as this morning’s gesture evidenced.

Raven liked to think, being an empath made her an expert on people. She liked to think she knew what people wanted. I wonder what I know about Conner Kent. I would hate to think of myself as self absorbed. I try to think of what I know of him. I think of how he makes me feel. Of his touch. Kon’s touch is surprisingly, gentle. I think he’s afraid he’d leave a bruise.

Raven heard a whoosh of air, right after she senses a powerful aura fast approaching. The Energy, undeniably deep intense unforgettable combination of Kon-El. The next second, he was standing before her. He hand in his tossed hair, trying to straighten it and feeling the other, holding the key fob he took a deliberate step towards her, and Raven suddenly felt shy. With the uninterrupted view of the tall, dark and handsome man, she felt daunted. She could not possibly approach this man.

And then she realised he was approaching her. He was looking at her. Holding out the keys to the car she was leaning on. Kon’s eyes, so deep and intense were riveted on her face. She looked up and saw herself reflected in them. The effect he had on her were startling. She stopped breathing.

Kon angles his big muscular body towards me and what broke this spell was the sudden chirping of the car, indicating it was unlocked. Raven looked down at the car, the passenger side door she’d been leaning on and then back into sapphire mesmerising eyes.

I can scramble surveillance devices and disarm opponents with ease, but with one look, Connor has turned my brain into mash. I keep trying to think of something to say. Something to do. Finally, I think he takes pity on me. Conner gently nudges me aside opening the car door, and waits for me to get in. The nudging broke the spell, I dash into passenger side of the car that looks like a Lexus, but is actually a heavily modified T-Car in disguise.

Connor shuts my door and makes his way to the driver side of the car. I Portal in air from the Antarctic to cool my face. And while I am no longer resembling a tomato, my teeth are chattering. I feel mortified.

What is wrong with me? I think in a panic. I am behaving like I've never spoken to a boy before.

I forced myself to sit up, clicked in the seat belt, work at not calling for Aurora. I let myself smile. So so many feeling. It’s thrilling, akin to falling off a cliff and yet natural. Perhaps irrational, but deeply felt.

Chapter Text

Day 1 of this tremulous year - 31st December - 1 January

All around me soothing darkness coalesces. An aurora borealis springs suffused with light. Spreading its tendrils; alternating among deep dark purple to red, pink, turquoise and then back to dense indigo, to a beautiful, glowing lavender. Streams of glowing dots swirled, floating gently through illusory clouds. Faint blue lights floated past me like a swarm of dim electric fireflies on the way to their nest.

A warmth flowed through me, magic of the universe pulsing like beating of a giant heart. It pulsed. Giving life. Streams, tributaries and rivers with a multi coloured glow, flowed to and from the source. The air smelled fresh and clean, the way it would smell on a sunny day, on a beach, after the rains. Only it was brimming with power. Waves crested and broke before me, from an endless ocean and a forest rich, ancient at my back, everything nourishing me.

Another wave flowed in, crested and withdrew. Magic was saturated here. Each breath increasing my vitality. It was safe here. I could stay here forever. I was a phantom.

Just being me. I was understood, loved unconditionally. Learn and grow and achieve any goal. Leave my father and his influence behind me. Find answers, for every question that may have ever occurred to me. While studying at Azarath, or on Earth.

Here at the source, I was made of it and a part of it. I was content and I knew that I could stay here and everyone I loved would be ok.

If only.

I had to leave. I’d been attacked. It was unclear if Raven was attacked or just someone so as to isolate

Damian could be in danger.

There was always a threat that needed fighting or someone needing protection, my mind, a part of me that was tiered of it all said to me. A rueful smile, if only.

Fury rose like bile. She turned and set out after the noise, fighting the seductive forces that kept telling her how nice it would be just to relax her grip on her mind and sink into a warm sea of nothingness. Being angry, that was the thing. She knew it was most important to stay really angry.

I open my eyes.

“You pulled me back too early, Zachary” Raven stamped her foot, in anger and indignation. Then promptly lost balanced of herself. Damian caught her just in time. He’d been hovering worried at her weakness. She looked almost frail. Not a look he was used to seeing on his beloved.

Damian was angry at Zachary as well. Not that he pulled Raven out too soon, that he should’ve pulled her out sooner. As for their past relationship, Raven’s with Zatanna, well on that Raven had not been so forthcoming.

Looking at twin stares of disgruntlement from the Titans, the former Titans held steadfast. He was pissed off his well. Zach walked away, given Raven some space to recover.

“After all this. You are still holding yourself back.” Zachary stared at me through slit eyes, turned around, paced back and forth, and stared at me again.

Damian shut his eyes for a long moment, exhaled, and steered the conversation back to their next step.

“Did you sense anything evil, Raven. Malevolent.” Damian cut it. Not liking this train of thought. Of course Raven could rule the known universe. Her father Trigon was more than willing to do so with her. And she had stopped that ruler of worlds not once, but multiple times. Raven had looked him in the eyes when she told him she had no wish to rule. Damian with his upbringing found it hard to believe. But he was with her on that.

“Why’d you hold back?” Zachary asked, rather vehemently, undeterred by the deliberate change in topic. Raven looked up at the ceiling, not this again.

Damian lead Raven to a diwan, helped her get seated, and sat beside her. Still supporting her a little. But only a little, she was recovering, quite quickly.

“You’re constantly holding yourself back,” he said, unrelating. “You can do all this magic but you don’t use it.” He meant like right now. Raven could level this compound, read the minds of every being here. Enter each and every persons mind and know all their secrets, not just surface level thought.

“Raven, you’re still letting a dead man. Albeit, an all powerful one. Dead none the less, screw with your head”

They didn’t know that Trigon was truly dead or not. But it was not just about semantics. They’d also had this conversation before, it did not bare repeating. It was along the lines of “I am the daughter of a Demon, the daughter of literal hell. Within me are contained forces great enough to destroy a universe. My father killed my mother. She let herself be manipulated when she was young and vulnerable. So she was not a total innocent, but she was my mom and I wanted a lifetime of normal happy memories with her. And He would happily use me and not regret causing me great pain to meet his ends.”

“Every time I use Trigon’s magic, I take a step closer to being him. Why would I ever allow myself to become that?”

Zach replied slowly and softly but not less intense “There is a difference between the dark side and honing your magic” Damian had asked her this also, or along the same lines.

“Wading through someone’s mind...... It’s a deep invasion. Not something I would undertake lightly” I shook my head. “I don’t want to do it again, unless I have to. Not wholesale, at least.”

Everyone paused a beat. Damian looked at Zach. Zach looked back. Finally he flung his arms in defeat, “Lets narrow it down then” Zach said, getting with the program. They were Raven’s power. If she was not going to use them, well Zach reminded himself not to fall into old patterns.

**************

Damian looks at her “are you alright be... Raven?” Best to keep it formal.

She isn't, but she composes herself and nods at him. Damian should not be seen with them. It would ruin what little advantage they had. They were in an unused room, off limits to the party guests, but anyone could walk in.

He reluctantly gets up, squeezing Raven’s shoulder, starts to walk away. He reached the door to the literary, opens it a crack. He looks out, light from the sconces reaches out, but there is a line of shadow. He stops, squints at the shadows, strains to listed.

Zach watches Damian, not oblivious to the touches, he and Raven  shared, without even thinking about it. That went beyond pure comrades. “What could cause someone to power up so much.” Zach contemplates, keeping his voice low.

“I’m sorry,” I told him. “But we need his help.”

“It never comes without a price.”

“I know.” The ever stoic Damian.

“We could just go back, get Blue, and storm the place… A frontal assault” Raven laughs “multiple paints of attack?” She laughs some more. Some colour shows on on her face. Her cheeks and chin and lips. Lips.

With Damian looking at me line that. I stepped close to him and kissed him. Just a peck. A mere brushing of my lips on his, but the moment we touched, it was electric. The memories of our past kisses took over my emotions, heightening everything. I threw caution to the wind and kissed him hard. We were in danger. This could be our last kiss. My tongue licked his lips, inviting him to play. He was hesitating.

He opened his mouth. Finally. I tasted mountains and rain, strength and love. Like drinking power and steel.

We broke apart. I opened my eyes and saw the deep forest in his eyes and a scarred possessed look. I know it was a look we shared. I wanted to comfort him, but also not break this moment. To be in our bubble, just for a little longer.

Damian wrapped his arm around my waist, a steel band would have more give. He pulled me close. Electeicity zinged me, stronger this time. I was caught and I didn’t mind. I’d almost been lost, if I’d stayed back.... it didn’t bare thinking about, we were together now and would be again real soon.

Damian studied my face, leaned in, and my mouth closed the distance. He kissed me, deep, deliberate, reassuring me with his mouth and body right there out side the library, on enemy grounds. And I was so far gone, I didn’t want it to stop.

This time it was Damian who moved his lips away from mine. A quick look around the corridors, all clear his face said. My empathy said the same. We parted. I felt bereft.

Go soon and come back soon, I mouthed. Damian nods and with one last look, he was no longer in my field of view. I hold on to his emotional signature, but just. I can’t revel myself.

I exhaled.

Then inhaled.

Slow, long and measured.

I internally shake myself. I’d become too used to Damian. My partner, my Robin.

It had to stop. We shouldn’t be making mission critical decisions based on the others feeling, or their safety alone. They should be factors but not above mission objective. I should rely on Damian for tactics and him on me for magic, but we were emotionally compromised.

Relationships were disclosed for this very reason. The dangers could be avoided once romantic partners admitted that these dangers are there, and worked on them. Dialogue and compromise, experience and advice from veterans who’ve been there and know of the pitfalls to watch out for.

This was a conversation for another time, Zach was waiting. She didn’t even wanna guess at what he was thinking, what he may have surmised from her long absence.

A familiar calm settled. Emotions under control. Breathing measured. Pulse steady. Time to face her ex-teammate, ex-lover and hopefully still friend and ally.

**************

“Think of the helm of fate. You’ve to have some magic talent for it to work at intended. Without magical talent the helm with still work as it holds Dr. Fate, who is sentient. But then .... ok I’m not sure of this example anymore” Zach trailed off. Rubbing his eyes, it had been a long night. Then a longer drive to Titans Tower, by way of not 1 or 2 but 4 vehicle swaps. The Bats were paranoid, Damian seemed to be extra so. It was last evening of the new year by the time they reached the Tower and late night before all active Titans assembled.

“Not so much for non-magical people?” Conner asked.

“Not so much” Zach agreed. “With a focus of magical objects, magicians are capable of tapping into a deeper well of magic”.

“By that logic, we can safely assume its a Psymon or a Dr. Psycho. Coz it gives a boost. One needs to be a master in emotional manipulation already to plant a memory, and not liquefy a brain.” Raven paused, letting it sink it, “These type of artefacts just make that kind of magic stronger.” Raven added.

“Like my armour. The scarab didn’t meld with just anyone” Jaime said, slowing thinking it through. “And to over power Rae, even for a moment, you got to be able to really use it”.

Garfield laughs nervously. Not liking where this was going. Sometimes his human voice box let out animal sounds while still human. A little hyena crept in. Holly hell, someone, with or with help could make Rae see things. This was bad. Normally Rae was their shield agains those kind of mind fucks and such.

“Not a novice, gotcha.” Victor added. Thinking of a skeleton key. An techno illiterate would have no know how on its use. Different from a remote, which was point and press.

Raven nodded. “We can’t be sure, but it stands to reason that they had some training. There was a sense of purpose, a mission or objective. It didn’t feel aimless or like a fluke for a first time user.” She exhaled loudly,  “a finesse, which will help narrow it down for just any magic user” she added and yawned. This singled the end to their impromptu meeting.

Beyond them a portal opened. Not a gate defined by some technological arc, or a zeta tube, but a hole punched straight through reality, “Gar inform Doom Petrole”  Damian directed. Another portal opened, this time a zeta tube was being used

“Cyborg, the league, mainly the league Dark. See what they think.” Vic hid his amusement, ‘bossy Bat’ his look said to Rae. She half heartily rolled her eyes. It felt obligatory, with no actual feeling behind it.

“Get some sleep Rae, you don’t look so good” Victor teased, trying not to sound too concerned, but she really did look tiered.

“All three y’ll.” He added.

Raven eyed him, none too kindly, hmm he may not sound concerned, but it's difficult to hide how you feel from an empath.

Damian scoffed, as he was want to do when showed as much as a modicum of sympathy. Those things were for lesser beings, rest and concern of other held low priority in his life.

Zach indicated to the only empty area, and Raven focused, about to open a portal for him as well, just waiting on him to tell her where to.

“We’r hardly sure who was targeted or of anything for that matter. What their plan is and other objects they may have, magical or of the ordinance kind?” Conner said to his departing team mates “Keep your wits about you till we figure it out. You too Zatara”, Conner added. He was getting ready to take flight. Supers preferred to stay as far away form magic as they could. Apart from kryptonite, not much else besides magic could do them in. It was no surprise that Superman never participated in JL: Dark missions, as Batman or Wonder Woman sometimes did.

“Do you want to crash here for the night?” Offered Damian, with a straight face. “I’m sure your old room is unoccupied still”.

After Tim moved on, the Titans didn’t have a de facto leader. It was leading by majority, for the most part. But Damian usually took charge, strategy and preparedness were his forte, and so he was the host, as it were. Was he thrilled to have his beloved’s ex staying the night. No. But was he learning to use his manners? Yes. Once a Titan, always a Titan, Damian was beginning to learn. Zatara had an overly high opinion of himself, but yesterday, he’d stepped in and proven useful.

Zach paused, exhaled through his teeth, resigned, waved her off with tiered jerk of his hand, so close to burn out. Raven, a bit surprised at the turn of events bid her team mates aduie.

Focusing of her own portal, which showed a lavish brightly lit, sitting room and a very surprised Rita, sipping coffee, while reading, judging by the book that tumbled to her feet. Gar passed through safely and was promptly enveloped in a stretchy embrace. Raven waved one final time, getting 2 in return, and closed the rip in space.

Raven breathed in scents of home during a winter night, not much different form summer really, a hair cooler but just a salty, if a bit less humid, and did a final mental sweep of the Tower and its island. She walked deeper in the tower, turning off lights and other electronics, while preparing to turn in for at-least few hours, if not a few days. It had been sometime since she had used her power to their limits. There was a. fending of a psychic attach, b. being separated form her soul self for a prolonged period and c. Continuous use of psychometry, which required absolute discipline, or one could get lost in an avalanche of information. Here’s hoping there aren’t any bank robberies tomorrow. Most of the Titan’s were still at home for the holidays and some had just left to spread the news of a possible new threat.

Damian was leading Zach to the floor where most of the old rooms were, perfectly polite, if a smidgeon stiff. The fact that no one commented, batted an eyelash or even paid any mind, showed how far Damian has come from his first encounter with the Titans.

********

“You’re not evil you know?”

Raven opens one eye, looks at Zach and closes it again. What brought this on, she raises her eyebrows in question.

Meditation music of choice is playing softly in the background. Sitars and such, so rekhi probably.

“I’ll tell you what I am. I am so knackered right now this A.C. vent could K.O me”. She sighs and gives up on meditation.

Opening her eyes, Raven continues to sit Indian style. She indicates Zac seating pillows arranged by the far side of the room. The floor is littered with jewel toned pillows as seating, bolsters for reclining. Rae with uncharacteristic bags under her eyes.

**

Sore. Zach was sure. Raven was sitting in her meditative pose in the far side of the room. That she was not levitating lent to her tiredness. Magically and emotionally. No matter how powerful you are, a personal attack, you end up taking personally.

Moving around her room Zach notices all the little changes. Its all tall walls interspaces with windows of various sizes. He reclines, faces Raven, and directed healing energy towards her. Everyone can heal. Magicians better than regular humans. Not to Raven’s calibre but with a strong intent one could send energy to another, that energy could heal and soothe.

For all of Raven’s nonchalance, I could see that she was accepting the fact that she wasn’t evil. Her pillow is white, and a little out of the arrangement, separate for meditation? Closer to the wall to wall windows. Beautiful view sitting or levitating.

“What happened?”

Ravan raised her eyebrows, her look clearly say ‘still on this are we?’ She was about to dismiss his comment of hand but then changed her mind. Raven strode and sat on a cobalt coloured pillow. Her back to her earlier seat. It was time to stop villainising Zach. They’d broken up and all that led to, had hurt her. But it was both their faults. Both their egos and unwillingness to bend and try again.

“Sometimes, you hear the same thing again and again. Your friends say it. Strangers that you meet along the way express it. But you’re so hung up and all those insecurities keep talking at you day and night. But finally, when you try and convince another of their innate goodness and that special someone becomes your mirror. Helps you really see it.”

Raven shrugged looking incredibly cute and vulnerable.

“When you’re ready to believe it, you just do and it clicks.” Who helped you? Who built you up, while I was hung up on your potential to power? Zach looks away, pretending to study her room some more. Her music player changes songs. Jazz. Yeah she always had a thing for jazz after meditation.

“You know how the Flash took on merged Lex and Brainiac?” At Zach’s blank look, Raven clarifies, “Wally. He won, where all the other Leaguers were down. In going the fastest he could possibly go, the speed force nearly got him?”

Zach faces her again. He nods slowly, ya he remembers this, vaguely. Where is she going with this? Raven is stead fast, maintaining eye contact.

Raven’s eyes soften “At my strongest I could do it all, maybe. All the awesome things you spoke off. But then ....” she trails off. “I will be changed, irrevocably. I wouldn’t be me. And I wish I could give in sometimes, but me keeping my power contained, not abusing it.. It’s as essential to me as my soul. Legitimacy. And right to do so, are also factors.”

Zach frowns.

Slower still Zach hesitates, opens his mouth, closes it. Opens it again, takes a quick breath instead. Raven’s room smells like Raven. Sweet, dark, soft and mysterious. Shakes his head and then finally nods. He needs to keep tight rein on himself.

As much as he wants to interject, it’s not his place. Does he really know best? It’s not his place to tell Raven what lies at the edge of limitless power. He thinks he’s got that chip off his shoulder, living in his cousins and uncle’s shadow? Then by shutting up and accepting what Rae is telling him, he can show her how much he’s grown. By not mansplaining her ability to her and being a decent human being. God! 5 minutes and he’s tied up in knots. Did he ever think he knew better than Zatana or Giovanni? Never. He never questioned them when they put restriction on themselves. Even with Eddie.

Sure Zach was trying to encourage them, just like he wanted to help Rae reach her potential. Now that Zach thought back to their conversations when he and Rae started out and after that as a couple. How he’d been with Raven then. All he can do is cringe inside.

Her right to rule. How to rule. The whole divine right thing. What gave him the right ?

He looked at Raven helplessly. Understanding dawns on her face.

Always understanding compassionate and empathetic.

“So?” Raven asks. Breaking him from his self flogging. She must have followed his emotional journey. Stopping him before spiral of doom began.

It’s Zach’s turn to raise a brow.

“Fill me in.” She encourages.

Oh! Right.

“So. In this episode of keeping up with the Zataras...” Zach tells he all about how he helped Superman. Infusing him with sunlight just long enough ...

Was it Tim, Zach wonders. Watching Raven laugh. Being in her presence, Zach notices the little changes. Raven looks practically the same though, almost. She is still young but even so in the three years since they dated and broke up, and the year since he last saw her, she should show more change. Her eyes crinkle as she tries and loses holding in a chortle. A response to Wonder Women turning into a pig and Zatana failing to change her back. It’s an old story, one she may have heard already. Hero community gossip more and faster than southerners at church.

Who gave her this confidence. Zach thinks back. He’d moved closer, delivering a punch line at Zatara’s expense. Rae laughs, while still managing to look at him reproachfully.

Tim helped, for sure. Rae told him so, and he’d seen it. Something about how he saw the good in her. Tim’s approval had a profound impact on her. Was he jealous? Is the sky blue ? Or is it the colour of Raven’s eyes ? It was something about the next Robin being an ass but Batman seeing good in him. Good that, Damian didn’t even see in himself. Damian, huh!

This inner clarity was a good look on her. Zach from 5 years ago had wanted to say ‘Rae you’re amazing. When you stop worrying about the League and what others think of you. Your power is limitless use it to right the world”. What came out instead, was not that.

Tim is Red Robin now, no longer a Titan. He remembers how Rae was willing to quit the Titans to be with him. ZachRae, just as a duo or have them be a part of their own magical team. It stands to reason if her special one was not a Titan, she also wouldn’t be here. 

Etta James kicks in. At last, she serenades in her beautiful voice? I searched Raven’s face. Yes or no? Come on, Rae, give me something to work with.

Zach leans in, Raven looks down at her fidgeting fingers. Zach intertwining her fingers with his, lets silence settle. Just their breathing and jazz serenade.

Raven grimaced, breaking the silence she says conversationally “you know Jay right?” Red Hood, yeah I’ll say. He know him as a Titan, a Bat and as an Outlaw. “He’s back with the Bats. Even did a few years with the Titans.”

Zach nodded. He was aware, sure. He pays attention to all the little changes to her fingers, slightly slimmer and longer. Calluses. He runs the tips of his fingers over them. They were new to him, but old on Raven. Some sort of instrument. But they were at the base of her fingers, a staff or a sword? Speed racing ?

Whether or not she knew it, Rae was mine once and I would save her or die trying. I’d just have to show her that. She didn’t seem ready now, fidgety,  restless, but later. Who knew. They had time.

Raven’s eyes widened and she rushed on “He still hasn’t forgiven Bruce. He’ll be fine for ages and then suddenly it’s all “I’m his son” and “only the Joker” and “not asking him to turn into a murderer”.

"What?"

“Batman knows he is a vigilante. He is vengeance, he is night and all that” Rae let’s out a breathy laugh. “But if he killed the Joker, that’s a line he just can’t cross.”

I just stared.

What?!

Undeterred Raven continued “Superman can’t kill Lex, no matter how much better it may be for the world or the universe. That’s not him. Besides murder being a slippery slope.”

Huh!

“Jay has moved on, Zach. I know he has broken those patterns. But it all just comes rushing back at the worst moments. Then out of the blue Bruce gets a video call with Jay yelling at him. And it hurts Bruce, but he takes it, and continues to not kill the Joker”.

Oh!

Softly Raven detangled her fingers from his grasp, “I’ve got this handled Zach. I promise! And if I need back up, I’ll reach out”.

This was the closest to back off and I forgive you, Raven will come to saying.

Zach let out a breath he had been holding and smiled faintly. “Deal”