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Chapter Text

It’s a sunny day in Brooklyn. My friends Tony, Steve, and Bucky decided to go jet skiing at the river. I always take the blue one. Tony takes red, Steve gets yellow, and Bucky takes green. I always wanted the red one but red is Tony’s color.

Afterwards, we head to the Avengers campus. I decide to take a seat and write in my diary.

Tony tells me real life sucks losers dry and he teaches people real life to spread their wings to fly. I told him “Really? Well you’re beautiful.”

Steve and Bucky then walk towards me. What is it this time?

“Tony says he wants you in the cafeteria pronto.” Bucky insists.

“He really wants to talk to you, Mobius.”

I get up and walk into the cafeteria.

“Hello, Mobius.” Tony smiles.

“Hi.”

“I’m gonna need to you to forge Clint’s handwriting to give a note to Banner.”

“But I have nothing against Bruce Banner.”

“And you don’t have anything for him either. C’mon. It’ll give him some good ego boost.”

“I just feel-“

“Just do it.”

I grab a paper and pen. He writes

“Dear Bruce,

You’re the sweetest avenger. Love you, Clint.”

Steve then takes the note and slips it under Bruce’s laptop.

The four of us then take a seat. Tony is saying he has a new fun question for the other avengers. Steve forgot what it is and Tony said “Wow you really are like 100 years old.”

We then get up from our table and walk around. First we go to Wanda’s table.

“Hey sorry I forgot to go to your party. I made sure Vision gave you the gift though.” I insist.

“It’s alright. Thanks so much for the gift. He told me you missed it for a date which I don’t blame you for.” Wanda laughs.

Wanda then opens her bag and takes out a photo. It’s a photo of her and I the first day of the job. I was hired as the receptionist.

Tony then pulls me away. I hate when he does that. Tony and I then walk to Natasha and Pepper.

“Hey ladies. I’m here with the question of the day.” Tony insists.

“Oh no.” Natasha laughs.

“So you win a million dollars but it’s the same day that sea animals decide to take over. What do you do?”

“I would invest in the money and join them.” Natasha insists.

“Give to charity. I already have enough money.” Pepper thinks.

Tony mouths “wow”.

“Does it ever worry you that people see you as intimidating as a piranha?” I ask.

“Not really. Also I’m pretty sure everyone wants to either be me or date me.”

“Well-“

“Oh and remember you’re going to the Stark Industries party with me.”

Steve and Bucky then walk to us. Bruce finally reads the note and goes up to Clint. Clint reads it and laughs at Bruce’s face. Bruce walks out. I feel so bad. I try to follow but Tony grabs my arm.

“You wanted to work with the most powerful superhero organization. Come on Mobius, you used to have a sense of humor.”

I then look around and notice a man I’ve never seen before. He has long black hair and a black jacket with gold stripes.

“Wow Mobius, drool much? His name is Loki. We fought him once but he told us today that he promised to be good so I let him in.” Steve insists.

I then walk towards Loki’s table.

“Hello Loki.” I smile.

“Greetings and salutations. You an Avenger?” He asks.

“No, I’m just a receptionist named Mobius. This may be a stupid question.”

“There’s no stupid question.”

“So you win a million dollars but it’s the same day that sea animals decide to take over. What do you do?”

“Wow that is a stupid question. I guess I’d join them and take them with me to Asgard. We don’t have any dolphins there and I’d love a pet dolphin.”

I laugh. He seems so cool and mysterious. Bucky then walks to me.

“We’ll talk to you later Loki.”

I sit with Tony, Steve, and Bucky. I see Clint and Mysterio get out of their chair and towards Loki.

“I thought Avengers campus didn’t allow the ugly villains to join.” Mysterio chuckles.

“They do allow assholes tho.”

Loki makes a knife appear and throws it towards Mysterio’s face.

Mysterio and Clint run away.

Chapter Text

It’s after work. We are at Tony’s apartment enjoying some drinks and talking.

“I don’t think we could technically ban Loki.” Steve insists.

“He used magic to create a knife.” Bucky responds.

“Yes and so did Wanda the other day.”

“Also I thought you said you’d never get with an avenger or anyone associated with us.” Tony thinks.

“Yes but there’s something about Loki.” I insist.

Steve then looks at the time.

“Bucky and I have to go. We have reservations at the shawarma place.” Steve insists.

“Alright have your fun. Mobius and I are going to party tonight at Stark Industries.” Tony responds.

Steve and Bucky head out the door.

“So I was thinking we stop at 7-eleven on the way to the party.” Tony insists.

“Alright let’s go.”

Tony and I get into the self driven car. I get out to get his favorite barbecue chips.

I see Loki as I walk inside.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” I acknowledge.

“No one should expect me anywhere. I keep it that way.” Loki responds.

“So you just are here alone?”

“Pretty much. I love getting slushees. My big brother Thor is the one who introduced me to them. You want some?”

“Sure I’ll take a Berry Blast.”

Loki hands me a slushee.

“So where are you headed?” Loki asks.

“A party at Stark Industries.”

“Just the perfect life of being the friend of Tony Stark.”

“Eh. Sometimes I get tired of them. The superhero life is definitely not for me. They’re coworkers basically.”

“I don’t like them so much either.” Loki admits.

Tony honks real loud.

“Well I better go.” I say.

We arrive at the party and there’s two men in fancy suits. They introduce themselves as we walk by. I feel like I don’t want to be here. There’s drunk business people and they seem annoying. I decide to just sit on a couch. Wanda Maxinoff was more the coworker I would’ve loved to be around. She’s actually the sweetest and I sold her out for super soldiers and a philanthropist. I swear taking down Tony Stark would be like taking down the system.

Tony then taps my shoulder.

“What’s your damage? You’re not being very fun right now.” Tony says.

“I really don’t feel good.” I tell.

Tony then walks with me outside.

“You stupid fuck.”

“You god damn bitch.”

“You we’re nothing before you met me. You were a brownie. You were a bluebird. You were a Girl Scout cookie! I got you into a Stark Industries business party and you give me no thanks?”

“Well deal with it, Tony. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“Tomorrow. You’re over.”

I then walk home. That made me so mad.

Chapter Text

I arrive home and sit down. Loki then knocks on the window. I open it. He climbs in.

“Dreadful etiquete I apologize. Would you like to sit outside and look at the stars?” Loki asks.

“I’d love to.” I respond.

Loki and I sit outside on the hammock.

“It’s a beautiful night.” I comment.

“Agreed. I’m just glad I left that party.”

“Did Tony humiliate you?”

“Well sorta. Let’s say I rethought a lot of life decisions.”

“Tony Stark needs to die.”

That was so out of nowhere. I try to think of a good response.

“I say we just escape New York, change ur names, and live happily ever after.”

“Or we at least prank him.”

I stop and think. Ok as long as no one actually dies.

The next morning, Loki and I head to Tony’s house. Loki grabs a cup.

“Maybe a hangover cure of orange juice and salt?” I laugh.

“We can add Ajax and go big blue.” Loki suggests.

“That will kill him.”

Loki adds it anyways.

“Also he’s smarter than that. Also I don’t think he trusts you.”

I decide to make a separate cup with just prune juice and orange juice.

Loki thinks ok and decides to spit in the cup. Perfect. Loki touches my hand and we kiss. I grab the cup.

“Wait.” Loki realizes.

“What?” I ask.

“Never mind.”

We then walk to Tony’s room.

“Well isn’t it the frosty villain.” Tony notices.

“Greetings.” Loki responds.

“Listen Tony, I feel last night we miscommunicated and I’m ready to apologize.” I add.

“Did we? Anyways how did you get in here?”

“JARVIS let us in and Mobius said you may have a hangover so I made an Asgardian hangover recipe.” Loki suggests.

“Did you spit in it?”

“Knew you Midgardian wouldn’t be able to handle this.”

“Alright I’ll drink it. Prove to you that I can handle an alien planet drink.”

Tony takes the cup and drinks it. He begins to choke and falls on a glass table.

“Oh my god. I can’t believe I just killed my best friend!” I yell.

“And worst enemy.” Loki adds.

“Same difference.”

I begin stomping around the room. I can’t believe this is happening.

“I’m gonna have to put prison on my resume.” I hesitate.

“At least you got what you wanted.”

“It’s one thing to want someone to learn a lesson and it’s another to want them to get a reality check.”

“Let’s make it look like a suicide.”

“What?”

“You’re great with forging handwriting. It’ll be perfect.”

I quickly grab a paper and begin writing. I write how being iron man while also running a million dollar business got too stressful. Loki and I decide to go home.

The next morning at the Avengers campus, the avengers are in the lobby.

“This is so unfair.” Steve cries.

“Mobius, Tony would want you to have this. He always told me you couldn’t moisturize for shit.” Bucky says as he hands me a tube of moisturizer.

I take the moisturizer and also grab some water. I need time to calm down.

“You know, I remember Tony said I was too boring for him but honestly I think he just was dissatisfied with himself.” Dr. Strange remembers.

I choose not to say anything. Stephen does bore me actually. I just know now people are gonna act like they were best friends with Tony.

Chapter Text

I decide to go to Loki’s house after.

“Tony Stark is now more famous then ever.” Loki comments.

A blonde muscular man walks into the living room.

“Hi brother!” Loki says.

“Hey Loki. Are you gonna introduce me to your new boyfriend?” Thor teases.

“Thor shut up.”

I blush.

“Thor, this is Mobius. Mobius, this is my brother Thor.” Loki introduces.

“Nice to meet you.” Thor smiles.

“Are you gonna stay for dinner, Mobius?”

“Sorry I can’t. I promised Steve and Bucky that I’d make them spaghetti. With lots of oregano.”

“Nice. Once I made spaghetti for the family and Odin said I was a disappointment.” Loki randomly mentions.

I have no idea how to respond to that so I laugh. I go back home. I grab a pot to begin the spaghetti.

“Aw Loki’s not joining us?” Bucky teases.

“Not today.” I respond.

I make the spaghetti and the three of us eat. The funeral is in about an hour. I get dressed and put on a black button down and slacks.

“So Clint and Mysterio wanted me to invite you and Loki to get drinks.” Steve invites.

“No thanks. Also I thought they hated Loki?” I respond.

“You don’t know that and it might
be fun.”

“Ugh alright. I’ll ask him.”

I text Loki the invite but he leaves it on read. We go to the bar and I notice Bucky also opted out. It’s just Clint, Mysterio, Steve, and I.

“You know, it’s never late to become an avenger. I’m sure Tony would’ve loved for you to be one.” Clint comments.

“Thank you but honestly it seems like a lot of responsibility. I’d rather not.” I laugh along.

“Cmon, you wanna be a boring receptionist?”

“I mean I’d say the job has been pretty fun so far and I’ve met cool people.”

“Like that Loki guy?”

“Not only him. Steve over here and Bucky are great people.”

“Is that why you looked so bothered by them?”

Clint is clearly intoxicated but drunk words are sober thoughts.

“Clint!” Steve argues.

I decide to just walk out. I don’t know what’s happening and I don’t like it. My anxiety is rising.

I see Loki and run towards him. He gives me a big hug

“I’m so sorry I left you on read.” He apologizes, “I’m feeling kinda superior tonight. Why don’t we go grab a slushee? Our love is god.

I run off with him. Sorry Steve.

Next morning I go to the Avengers campus. Vision walks towards me.

“So I heard you, Clint, and Mysterio went skinny dipping to show that you could be one of us.” Vision claims.

“Huh? No last night, I literally walked out with dignity.” I question.

“That’s not what Clint said.”

I text Loki what just happened. He tells me he has a plan. I finish off work and then go home.

“Hey Clint. I heard your skinny dipping plan. I say we go for it. I’d love to be an Avenger and I wanna prove it. Bring Mysterio.” I insist.

Loki then hands me a pen and paper.

“Wait I thought we were just shooting blanks. Why do we need a note?” I question.

“It’s not blanks this time.” Loki says.

“No. No, my Bonnie and Clyde days are over.”

“You know German?”

“French.”

“These are ich luge bullets. Steve was the one who told me about them actually. They’d use them on German soldiers. It only put them to sleep during WWII.”

“Oh, so it won’t actually kill them?”

“No.”

I then decide to write the note. We decide to make the narrative that Clint and Mysterio couldn’t handle being a villain and hero in love.

Chapter Text

I walk towards Clint and Mysterio. I made sure not to bring my phone. We are at Clint’s pool.

“Hey Mobius.” Clint says.

“Hey Clint and Mysterio.” I acknowledge.

“So do we just take our clothes off?” Mysterio comments.

“Yes sure. In 3.”

We all count down. Loki then shoots Mysterio and Clint begins running. I begin to examine Clint to make sure he’s breathing. Loki runs after Clint. Loki then grabs me to get to the car. We run fast before anyone can find us. We kiss in the car.

It’s then the next morning. Nick announces he’s gonna have a big meeting tomorrow after today’s memorial service.

“We killed them.” I cry.

“You wanted them dead.” Loki responds.

“Did not.”

“Oh don’t lie to yourself.”

I close my eyes and stay silent.

“Clint had nothing to offer the avengers and Mysterio, he’s just a well known visitor.” Loki thinks.

“Ok fine. Can we at least get slushees?”

I am on Loki’s couch.

“Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs darling. Actually I think I did travel time to see that.” Loki jokes.

I throw a pillow at him.

“You know I think you need to stop at this point.” I say.

Thor walks into the living room.

“Hi what’s happening?” He questions.

“Oh nothing.” I scoff.

“I just wanted to show Loki a video I found.” Thor insists.

Thor shows the video. There’s a fire and I have a feeling that was arson.

“Uh whats the context?”

“It’s from the last time Loki and I came down to earth together and he showed me he could create fire even though he’s a frost giant.”

“Interesting.”

Thor then walks out.

“Do you like your brother?” I ask Loki.

“Well that’s a deeply personal question I can’t really answer.” Loki dodges.

“Oh ok. I won’t question it.”

The tv then plays a song.

“God this song is awful.”

Loki then throws a fire ball at the tv.

“That’s it I’m out of here!” I exclaim.

Loki then grabs my hand.

“Sweetie I’ll stop now but you realize crying about it won’t bring them back?” Loki scoffs.

“I’m not trying to bring anyone back except myself. Also tomorrow, either don’t come to the avengers campus or just don’t talk to me.”

I walk out. I’m so done.

Chapter Text

It’s the next morning and I see Bucky hold what looks like a gauntlet. I don’t question it and walk away because I have no patience. I do see Wanda though.

“Hi Wanda, how are you?” I acknowledge.

“I’m good. I heated up a stove using magic yesterday.” Wanda exclaims.

“That’s so exciting. Well your life seems a lot more fun than mine.”

Wanda laughs. If only she knew.

“Well talk to you later.”

Bucky then runs to me.

“Bruce Banner tried running into traffic.” Bucky laughs.

I gasp.

“Oh my god. Is he dead?” I question.

“No he’s in stable condition. I guess he’s trying to be like the top Avengers.”

I slap Bucky for that out of pocket comment.

“You didn’t have to slap me for that. I bet he was even in his diapers.”

I see Steve walk past us silently with his head down.

“Damn why is he depressed?” Bucky comments. Ok I’m starting to think his attitude right now is a coping mechanism.

“Well shouldn’t we ask?”

Bucky sighs.

“You do it for me please.”

I follow Steve. He’s sitting in the corner of the tech room with a hoodie.

“Hey it’s alone time.” Steve yells.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“What’s right? My friends are dying one by one. I’m honestly thinking of getting the mortality serum because-“

I feel so bad for him and try to help.

“Not every day is going to be happy. If it was like that, you’d be a game show host.”

Steve laughs a bit.

“You’re right. Thanks.”

Steve then gets up and clears his tears. We hug.

I see Bucky walking around with a clipboard. Oh no. What’s he up to now?

“Everyone is signing a petition to make me the main power here. I feel so loved.” Bucky boasts.

“Yea they may love you but they don’t know you. Also why would that be the petition?”

“I didn’t make it. It was literally Loki’s idea.”

“No-“

“Jealous?”

I slap Bucky again. He grabs my hand and looks into my eyes for a second.

“I’m just saying. Can’t you be a good friend?”

“Can’t you?”

Bucky then walks away. Loki walks towards me.

“I wanna ruin that man’s career.” I say angrily.

“Now you’re talking.” Loki laughs.

Chapter Text

I walk out the Avengers campus when Dr. Stephen Strange walks towards me.

“Hey. Loki told me you’ve been having some problems. You know I’m a doctor and can help.” Stephen insists,

“I’m fine.”

He hands me a card anyways. I go home and notice a doll on my fan. I take a nap on the couch. I dream of Loki throwing Bucky off a cliff. Why did I even tell him?

I decide I’m gonna fake my death just until he finds me. I grab dish soap and put it in a cup to pretend I drank it. I grab a piece of paper and write something simple.

I then hear Loki come inside so I close my eyes.

“Oh no! Mobius? I love you so much. I was gonna even make u part of the plan and tell you what everyone really signed! The Avengers are over tomorrow.” Loki laughs, “I was thinking we could make some s’mores too.”

Chapter Text

It’s the next morning and I run to the Avengers campus.

“Mobius? Loki told me you died.” Nick questions.

“Well he’s wrong about a lot of things.” I tell.

I then run to the boiler room.

“Are you allowed to be in here?” I ask Loki as I wield the knife.

Loki looks shocked.

“I knew you didn’t actually drink that soap.” Loki realizes.

“You know, you and Thor actually have a lot in common. Even though you claim to not like him that much”

“First put that knife down!”

Instead, I run to the tessaract. He takes it away from me and hits me with it. I get up and attack him with the knife. He throws me into some cans. I catch up and grab him. I make him trip by throwing the knife near his legs.

“It’s over Loki, time to surrender!” I insist.

“Maybe, maybe you’re right but can’t you see society will never be perfect and there’s no use in Midgard.”

“Well you know what would make a perfect society for me? Cool guys like you out of my life.”

Suddenly the floor shakes. The alarm rings and they both walk outside. Now everyone is outside.

“What happened to you?” Steve asks.

“You look like Hell.” Bucky comments.

“Thanks, I just got back.” I respond.

I then see Bruce in a wheelchair.

“Banner, you want to join us in a movie night?” I asks.

Bruce smiles.

“I’d love that.” He says.