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Chapter Text

Tony smiled at his sleeping boyfriend, his face was illuminated by the soft morning light glow. It was only a matter of time before Steve would get up and continue on his search for the Winter Soldier.
The past few months had been tough, ever since Steve found out his best friend from the past was alive, he had been looking for him obsessively.

It had, admittedly, taken a toll on their relationship. Steve barely paid Tony any mind, instead he spent his days strategizing with Sam and Natasha. That was until night fell, it was then Steve insisted on physical comfort.

Tony never once complained, he understood why Steve was away after all. It wasn't as if he was an insensitive boyfriend, Tony didn't want to burden Steve further by nagging him about their relationship. That could wait, so Tony just had to learn to settle for the time they spent ravishing each other in bed.

It wasn't long until Steve's eyes began to flutter open, Tony's smile widened when Steve's bleary gaze landed on him. "Hey, Good morning." Steve only smiled briefly before he got out of bed.

Tony had to swallow the sigh that threatened to fall from his lips, instead he drew back the covers and began his morning routine. "I was thinking, maybe we could start off the day with a steamy shower.." Tony's eyebrows raised suggestively.

Steve ignored his boyfriend's advances and continued to pull a shirt over his head. "You know I don't have time, Tony." His tone was dry, startlingly different than it had been the previous night.
"I just think you owe it to yourself to destress a bit." Tony rubbed at his shoulders.

Steve hummed absentmindedly and shrugged Tony's hands off. "That's what last night was for." The words were like a slap in the face, since when had Tony only served to be a quick reliever? Suddenly, he felt disgusting and used. Which, in hindsight, was ridiculous because last night's sex was completely consensual.

Tony reassured himself that Steve had simply worded that wrong, but Steve had always been a sensible person, surely he wouldn't say something he didn't mean and walk away so hastily. Tony didn't even know anymore. He just hoped James Barnes was found, and soon, because the situation was tearing Steve and Tony apart.

"I'll see you tonight, Tony."

Tony didn't bother to respond, for he knew his words would be left unheard as Steve left their room. The sight of Steve turning his back on him was becoming increasingly familiar, and Tony didn't like it one bit.

✯✯✯

"Hey, come over here, you little bastard!" Clint's voice carried all the way down the hallway. Tony smiled knowingly when he walked into the kitchen. Clint was gesturing wildly, trying to get a hold of the blur that was Pietro Maximoff.

"No running in the common areas, Speedy. We've been over this." Tony called as he beelined for the pot of coffee that he swore was calling his name. Pietro came to an abrupt halt, pouting childishly at Tony.

Using his distraction as leverage, Clint pushed Pietro against the counter, he slammed his arms on either side of him to ensure there wouldn't be an escape. "Hand it over." Pietro gulped at the closeness, and promptly handed over the apple clutched tight in his hands.

Even though Clint had retrieved his stolen breakfast, he continued to stare down at Pietro, just as the other was as well. Pietro's face flushed a pretty pink and Clint didn't seem to mind the sight.

They only snapped to attention when Tony cleared his throat. At that, Clint drew back and granted Pietro the chance to speed away. Tony rolled his eyes, he obviously had no regard for the clean marble floors.

Clint gave a frustrated sigh before he bit into the fruit roughly. Tony gave a low whistle to aid the tense atmosphere that remained. "All that, over an apple?" Clint glared at him, but there was no real heat behind it. "Couldn't you have just gotten another one?"

"This was the only one left." Clint replied gruffly. Tony shook his head disbelievingly, with the amount of apples they bought every week, it was very unlikely they were already out. It had only been two days since their last restock, for crying out loud!

"Well, I think.." Tony drawled, before taking a long sip from his coffee. "That you'd find any excuse to get close to him, even bicker over an apple."

Clint scoffed unconvincingly. "Why in the world would I want to do that?" Tony smiled slyly, but said nothing more. They stay in a comfortable silence before Clint asks; "So, is Steve around today?"

Tony laughed humorlessly, shaking his head.
"When is he ever, these days?" Clint have a half smile, sympathetic as ever. Tony waved his hand, as if to say; 'Don't pity me.'

"Once this is all over and Barnes is found, Steve will come back to you." Tony wanted to believe the words, but he couldn't imagine Steve changing his ways so quickly. It was as if his new persona was embedded into who he was.

"I don't know.. when he's around, he's not really around. It's like he's on autopilot." Tony faltered for a split second before giving his award winning smile.

"We're okay, I just have to let him do this on his own." Tony was mostly reassuring himself. Clint saw through the act but decided not to press any further. He pushed himself off of the countertop he had been leaning on, and headed to the hallway.

"Things will get better, Tony."

Tony nodded absentmindedly, watching him leave. He had no idea how true Clint's words would become in a matter of time. Like most good things, however, it would get harder before it got better.

Tony opened the refrigerator, in search of the slice of chocolate cake he had left in the depths of the fridge. He snorted at what he saw, there were at least a dozen apples arranged neatly smack in the middle where everyone could clearly see.

"Clint, you son of a bitch."

Chapter Text

Tony was belting out the lyrics to 'Thunderstruck', as he made his way around the lab, tinkering mindlessly. He had lost track of the time he had been down there, it was a recurring cycle that everyone was familiar with.

Tony would grab a coffee every morning, maybe eat a small breakfast, and then he'd go down to the lab, only to be seen again when Steve came home.
F.R.I.D.A.Y. would alert Tony whenever Steve returned, and Toy was quick to go upstairs and greet his boyfriend.

Tonight, however, he was wrapped up in his latest project. Tony had been working on Clint's arrows all evening, he wanted the archer to be able to magnetically call the arrows back during a battle. It would prove to be useful on their longer missions, seeing as Clint often complained into the coms whenever he ran low.

The invention was Tony's way of thanking Clint for his words the previous morning, gifts and offerings were mostly the way Tony communicated. What was the point of being a billionaire if he couldn't spoil his friends and loved ones?

Suddenly, his music stopped and Tony opened his mouth to complain when F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke up; "Sir, Mr. Rogers has entered the building." The AI informed.

"Thanks, Fri." Tony looked up from his work desk and debated whether to go up or not, it would only take an hour or two to wrap up for the day. So, he opted to stay and see Steve later on, surely he'd understand.

Only half an hour later, Tony was leaning over his desk, willing his eyes to stay open. The lack of sleep was catching up to him, and he found that the thought of his bed was extremely enticing. He jerked violently when he felt arms wrapping themselves around his waist, only to relax when he turned his head and was met with familiar blue eyes.

"Why didn't you come up to see me? Don't you care about me anymore?" Steve teased, but there was a slight edge in his voice. Tony turned completely to face Steve dead on. "Of course I care, Steve. I was just finishing up down here."

Steve hummed at that, saying nothing more as he leaned in to kiss the frown off of Tony's face. The genius was enjoying the nice warmth of the other's lips when he felt Steve's hands slide down his jeans.

Tony pulled away, frowning. "What are you doing?" Steve smiled with faux innocence. "Nothing we don't do every night." He tried to take a hold of Tony once more, only for him to step away. "I'm not really in the mood today, I'm exhausted. Maybe we can watch a movie together and wind down?"

Steve looked down at him with an incredulous expression, Tony realized this might have been the first time Tony ever rejected Steve, no wonder Steve looked so openly shocked. If anything, he blamed himself for denying Steve out of the blue.

"But, babe.. it would really help me release some tension. What do you say?"

Tony crossed his arms and looked at Steve seriously to convey his mood. "I already said no." Steve frowned, as if he thought asking a second time would make Tony change his mind.

"I can't believe you, I've been under so much stress and you can't even be here for me the way I need."

Tony narrowed his eyes at Steve, he was in defensive mode even though Steve's insinuation had stung.
"I've been there for you since the search started! I gave you space when you wanted to search for Barnes without my help, I reassure you at night, I respect every single one of your damn wishes. How dare you say that?" Tony's voice broke with emotion.

Steve looked on, he at least had the decency to wear a slightly guilty expression. "I'm sorry, Tony. I- I guess all this time apart made me loose some sense." Tony's hands remained  sided against his chest when Steve hugged him, it was awkward and tense.

Steve pulled away with a heavy sigh when Tony made no move to reciprocate. "I think I need some time to myself, I'll be up in the bedroom." Tony's mouth dropped. Steve had just told him he hadn't been there for him, and he was the one that wanted space?

For once, as Steve walked away, Tony didn't mind.
After all, if Steve was so hell bent on getting some space, why shouldn't he?

✯✯✯
Later on in the night, his lab door opened a second time. Tony heard it that time, given that there was no longer any music playing, and he instantly thought Steve had come back to apologize.

He was proven wrong as he met the eyes of Natasha, smooth as ever, she had seated herself on one of the lab tables. Tony raised a brow in silent question.

"I saw Steve earlier, he looked upset." Tony shrugged, and kept fiddling with an arrow. "Well, it's mutual."

"Look, I don't mean to impose, but Steve's been trying hard. I know, just as you do, that Bucky's disappearance has really affected Steve." Tony bowed his head, he had known how much Steve had been struggling lately.

"Just take it easy on him, okay?" Because, of fucking course, if there was ever a problem between them, it was always somehow Tony's fault. He was most prone to relationship sabotage after all.

He was all over the place, but the most prominent emotion was guilt. Horrible, nasty guilt, clawing at his insides. His boyfriend had been struggling for months, and he couldn't give it up for one more night?

When worded like that, it sounded incredibly selfish of him. He had to fix this, he could hang on for a bit longer.
As much as Tony wanted to preserve his dignity and fragile ego, the desire to make up with his boyfriend was much stronger.

That's how Tony ended up in front of their bedroom door, he chewed on his lip, contemplating whether or not he wanted to go through with something his body surely couldn't handle.

As he thought back to what Natasha had said, he was resolved to go in and please Steve.
Tony opened the door, the hallway's light poured into the room. Steve lifted his head from its place on the pillow, his face was surprisingly smug. Almost as if he had known Tony would come around.

Tony swallowed his pride. "I'm sorry." He whispered.
Steve didn't hesitate, he patted at a spot on his lap.
"C'mere, babe."

Tony complied, and when Steve's hands started to roam his body, he kept quiet. He tried to tell himself he was enjoying it too as Steve's moans resounded throughout the room moments later.

Only, Tony knew it was a lie, he wasn't an idiot. It all felt superficial lately, but if it meant Steve was happy, Tony was willing to do it every night.

When Steve finally fell back on the bed, satisfied, Tony curled into himself. Finally, he was able to drift off, nothing had ever felt sweeter.
✯✯✯

Chapter Text

"Hey, dude. You okay?" Tony continued to limp to the coffee pot, as he did every morning. Only, everyone was looking at him weirdly today. He finally addressed Clint's question when he was a few sips into his warm, delicious liquid gold.

"I'm splendid, Legolas. Why ever would you ask?" He asked irritably. It was obvious to everyone in the room that Tony was in bad shape, even more than his usual binging, unkept state.

"We should take your temperature, Tony." Bruce piped up from the kitchen island. "You're not looking too good." Tony rolled his eyes at the absurdity of the statement. Of course he wasn't looking good, who would look good after pleasuring a super soldier nearly all night long?

"I'm fine, I'll be down at the lab if anyone needs me." There were many sounds of protests from the team as Tony moved to go. "You shouldn't go down to the lab today, get some rest." Clint spoke firmly, he grabbed onto Tony's shoulder to stop him from leaving.

Tony gauged the room in a silent attempt to get help. "Aw, c'mon." Pietro shook his head, siding with Clint.
"You shouldn't be working in that condition." Bruce nodded in agreement. Tony stood in silent defiance, he looked at Wanda but the girl was having a quiet conversation with Vision at the dinner table.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" Tony called in a last ditch effort. "Apologies, Sir, but I'm afraid the workshop is locked due to many safety protocols." Tony gaped.
"Who even installed those damn protocols?"
"You did, sir." The AI responded coolly.

Tony let out a frustrated grunt. Great, now his source of distraction was no longer an option. Clint looked at Tony pointedly, silently willing him to go to bed.

"Fine." Tony gave in, he drained his cup before going to get some well needed hours of sleep. "Sleep well, Tony." Tony murmured something illegible and continued walking towards his bedroom. He couldn't resist the smile that took over his lips, it felt so refreshing to have people who cared. Sure, it could get a bit annoying but Tony appreciated the gestures all the same if they meant he finally had people to rely on.

✯✯✯

In the comfort of their living room, the team was watching a movie. No one had much to do after completing their standard training, and missions had been scarce lately. It seemed like the world was settling down as of late, and for the most part, they hoped it would stay that way.

Voices could be heard coming down to the common area, ones who weren't usually home mid day.
"Hey, mind if I join?" Sam didn't wait for an answer as he plopped down onto the love seat next to Pietro.
Clint opened his mouth to say something, but refrained when he saw Pietro flash Sam a grin and offer him popcorn. He pointedly turned his head to face the Steve and Natasha.

"Why are you home so early? Did you find any leads?" Steve shook his head dejectedly. "It was a bust, we thought we'd find him today but he vacated the hotel before we could get to him."

Clint winced, he remembered how enthusiastic they had all been in the morning before departing, only to come back disappointed. "That sucks, man. I'm sorry." Steve nodded in acknowledgement, he scanned the room briefly.

"Where's Tony?" Steve asked. Usually when the team was all gathered together, Tony would be in their company.

"He's resting and taking some time for himself, he didn't look too good this morning." Bruce answered, despite the fact he knew Tony was getting some sleep, he still worried for his friend. "We agreed that he should go down to med bay if he doesn't feel much better later."

They all looked at Steve expectantly, who looked as if they had been discussing last night's dinner rather than Tony's health. "Right, well I'll go see him."

Pietro bit his lip. "Maybe you should let him rest for a while before you disturb him, he really needs it." Steve paid him no mind, and he continued to make his way to his boyfriend. Clint glared at his back, both because of his inconsideration and for ignoring a team mate.

"What the hell is wrong with him?"

✯✯✯

"Hey, baby." Steve's voice lured Tony out of his sleep.
"Open those eyes for me." Tony did so and sat up groggily at the sight of his boyfriend. "Steve? What are you doing here, is it night already?" Steve gave a chuckle at his boyfriend's disorientation. "No, it's two in the afternoon."

Tony's mind tried to play catch up, and Steve could practically hear the gears turning in his head. "I came home early, it was a bad day.." Steve trailed off, and Tony instantly rubbed his arm up and down soothingly.

"I was thinking we could take this day for some quality time together." Tony recognized that tone anywhere and he was apprehensive about the suggestion.
On a normal day, Tony would have loved to spend the day with his boyfriend, no matter wait they would do, but even now he was struggling to stay awake.

"Maybe some time later.. I'm really tired, babe." Tony said hesitantly, he hoped to god Steve understood so they wouldn't have a repeat of the other night.

Steve's arm stiffened under his grasp, so Tony let go. "I see." Steve replied coldly. Tony's heart dropped when Steve began to get out of bed. "Wait." Tony called, feeling tired and horrible, he just wanted to cuddle up to a warm body.

Steve turned his head and looked at Tony expectantly. "I-" Tony only got as far as that when there was knock on their door. "Come in!" Steve called.

Sam came into the room, usually he apologized for disturbing the couple, (Which happened often) but he looked particularly peppy as he delivered news.

"Cap, he was spotted in Bucharest a few minutes ago.." That was all it took for Steve to shoot out of bed and grasp Sam's soldiers.
"We should leave right now, that way there's more of a chance we'll get to him in time." Sam nodded. "I'll get Nat, and we'll start loading a few necessary things into the Quinjet."

Sam left in a hurry and Steve began to go through some drawers, looking for some clothes and things he would need. Tony watched as his boyfriend brightened up for the first time in a long while, he hoped this would be the last attempt to look for the Winter soldier.

Steve only acknowledged Tony again when he finished packing. "I'll see you later, babe. Feel better." It was hasty and abrupt, soon after the door slammed shut behind Steve. Tony sagged down onto the bed, Steve hadn't even said goodbye.

Tony inwardly scolded himself for thinking something so selfish, after months of searching, Steve finally had a solid chance to get his friend back. Tony hated that he had only thought of his feelings in that instance, Steve was probably high on elation, the last thing he'd be thinking about was giving him a kiss goodbye.

While in deep thought, Tony heard another knock at the door, he pushed down the hopeful feeling that Steve had come back to give him a proper farewell, instead he gave the person on the other side the cue to come in.

"How you holding up?" Tony smiled wanly when he saw Clint at the doorway. "I'm okay," Clint nodded, though he didn't believe his words in the least. "You need anything?"

Tony pursed his lips in thought.
"Well.. I could always use a cuddle buddy." Clint looked at him blankly  and turned around. Tony thought Clint was on his way out, when in reality he only closed the door.
"Only for you, Tones." Clint rolled his eyes fondly.

He slipped his shoes off before climbing into bed and enveloping Tony in his warmth. Tony felt an immense sense of gratitude as he cushioned his head on Clint's chest. He hadn't actually believed that Clint would stay with him, but it was a pleasant surprise.

Right as he was surrendering onto sleep, he felt a featherlight kiss pressed into his hair, and intense feelings he hadn't felt in a long while; He felt comforted, understood, and at home in his friend's embrace.

✯✯✯

Chapter Text

"I'm not feeling so good.." Tony groaned, squinting at the bright rays of sunlight peeking from the open windows. "Fri, shut all the blinds, will you?" Tony muttered.

"Right away, sir."

Tony opened his eyes when he was sure no light could pernitrate his eyes again, and he was instantly met with Bruce's concerned gaze.
"You're worrying yourself sick, Tony."

Tony burrowed his head into the loveseat he had been inhabiting, he didn't want to hear about his most recent downwards spiral. It had only been a day since Steve had left and Tony was struggling to cope, it seemed that everyone knew exactly why.

Tony hadn't ever had any particular issue with separation anxiety, but Tony absolutely hated going separate ways on bad terms. Given that Steve was going into a dangerous mission, anything could happen to him.

What if The Winter soldier was triggered? Steve had been his mission, what if the soldier decided to complete it? Tony winced when he felt his headache spike, he supposed he should take it easy with the morbid thoughts.

"God, where's Clint with those pain killers?" Tony looked up at Bruce through squinted eyes, the scientist promptly informed him that he'd be arriving soon.

"Now, how would you rate your headache pain from a scale of one to ten?" Bruce asked, he leaned over and touched Tony's forehead to assess if he was running a fever.

"Bruce, can you stop the whole mother hen deal? I'm fine." Tony prodded Bruce's wandering hand away from his face.

"You don't seem fine to me, you're really hot."

Tony snorted. "Well thanks, Brucie. I always knew you couldn't resist the Stark charm." Bruce gave a half hearted eye roll and said he'd check his temperature once his headache died down.

A few moments passed where Tony laid in blissful silence, Bruce was enjoying an old piece of literature on the couch, which Tony would never understand.

Idly, Tony wondered why Clint was taking so long on getting some painkillers. There were drug stores in nearly every corner.

His thoughts had been answered when he heard faint bickering become increasingly louder. Tony refrained from shouting at the pair entering the living room, it would only make his headache amplify after all.

"I'm telling you, old man, there is no way you could hit me with your flimsy arrows when I run."
Clint gave an overexaggerated offended expression.
"I never miss."  The two halted when they caught sight of Tony on the couch.

"No wonder you took so long, you were out with your guilty pleasure." Tony scoffed, and held his hand out for the long awaited Ibuprofen. Clint winced guiltily, handing the bottle of pills over, while Pietro spluttered in mock indignance.

"Actually," Clint cleared his throat. "I only ran into Pietro after I got back from the store." Tony leaned up and swallowed two pills dry before laying back down.

"Same difference. He still distracted you, didn't he?" Tony smirked faintly, smug as ever.

"Even when you're sick, you're still a pain in my ass." Clint muttered, annoyed, but even then he threw a blanket over his friend's body.

"Someone's got to point out the insane amount of UST you two have got going on." Clint's face hardened at that.

"Oh, C'mon. Tension with that insufferable bastard?" He joked and laughed awkwardly.
Pietro didn't seem to share his amusement, the usual upbeat energy he usually possessed seemed to be lacking.

Though their arguments and quips weren't anything new, the ambience following Clint's snub was different.

"I should be heading off to the the mandatory training- uh, catch you later?" And in a flash, he was gone.

Clint's exasperated sigh resounded throughout the room. "Well that went fantastic." Clint's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Well, you didn't expect him to swoon, did you? Not when you insult him every chance you get." Tony said in disbelief, Clint was absolutely clueless when it came to wooing.

"I don't insult him.." Clint looked at Bruce for assurance, only for the scientist to look back at him blankly. Honestly, how could someone be so dense?

"Look, I get it. You two have played this whole push and pull game for a while now, but you didn't expect for it to stay that way for much longer, did you?" Tony sat up on his seat, pain be dammed.

"Sure, the teasing and jokes were cute to begin with, but it's been months." Bruce chimed in.

"Exactly," Tony agreed. "You're both adults, you should be able to handle this accordingly. Have you ever even tried to pay him a compliment?"

Clint furrowed his brows in thought, and was appalled when he truly couldn't recall ever being nice to Pietro, he hadn't even given him a sleazy one liner.

"If you want your relationship with him to progress at all, you have to as well. Enough with the banter, try being pleasant." Bruce advised, trying to restrain a smile when he saw how conflicted his friend looked.
Oh, the dilemma of love.

"Why should things change? I happen to like where I'm at right now." Clint grumbled stubbornly.

"Then you'd just be running in circles, you wouldn't actually get anywhere."

"Clint, you have to decide whether you want Pietro or not, because I'm sure someone else out there does. He'll get snatched up so fast, it'll make your bird brain spin."

Clint looked thoughtful, he didn't even seem to acknowledge Tony's comment.

"Huh, Sam has been giving him a lot of looks lately." Clint presumed, Bruce gave Clint a disbelieving look.

"Clint, Sam is straight. If anyone is making eyes at Pietro it's definitely not him."

Clint dismissed Bruce with a lazy wave of his hand, muttering that he knew what he was talking about.

Bruce shook his head exasperatedly, the last thing Clint needed was to be paranoid of other members in the tower.

"I..I think I'll catch you guys later, I have somewhere to be." Clint uttered before standing from the couch, his expression one of odd determination.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked, Clint just continued to scramble out into the nearest hallway.

"I'm going to head down to the gym and do some daily training."

Tony stifled a bubble of laughter with his hand, he cringed internally when he felt his head throb.

"That idiot already worked out an hour ago, that means Legolas is going down there to try it on with Pietro." Tony smiled at Bruce wickedly.

"Think there'll be any action?" Bruce instantly shook his head at the question.

"What have we learned about them so far? They're slow. I wouldn't be surprised if this new, 'awkwardly flirting' phase lasted months."

Tony hummed in silent agreement, wondering whether it was wise to hope they both came into their senses soon.

"What about you?" Bruce asked gently, his tone was wary, as if he wasn't sure if he should bring the topic forward.

"What about me?" Tony pretended to be clueless, but Bruce knew better. "You and Steve." He prodded.

"Steve and I are fine." Tony smiled wanly, voice cracking with faux contentment.

"We'll be just fine."

Chapter Text

"They found him."

The words had been uttered in disbelief, Bruce looked distraught as he continued to speak to the person on the other end of the line.

After all, there had been many instances where the team had thought Bucky would be found, but for it to happen once and for all was unsettling. Bruce stumbled out of Tony's room, presumably to deliver the news to the rest of the team.

As soon as Tony had heard Bruce's announcement, he felt an overwhelming sense of hope grip him. One similar to what he felt the day Steve had first asked him out, he wondered then whether he wasn't the dreadful person he had made himself out to be.

How bad could he be if Steve wanted him? Though, in truth, Tony hadn't believed Steve's intentions were pure in the beginning, even now he couldn't understand how he was worthy of Captain America.

After a year had passed, however, Tony came to accept the fact he had been provided a rare blessing that took form in a patriotic man from Brooklyn. He wasn't sure that he would ever give it up without a fight.
So, that's what Tony planned to do. Now that Bucky had been found, Tony would be there for Steve and things would go back to how they had been.

"You're awfully quiet." Clint told his friend from his place beside him on the warm bed. Ever since Clint had indulged him in his embrace once, Tony hadn't slept alone again.

What he found unusual was the lack of complaints from Clint, sure there was the occasional tease, but he never made Tony feel as if he was being a bother. It was something Tony had been puzzled but pleased about.

"It's a lot to take in, I guess." Tony fell back into the bed, releasing some of the tension in his shoulders. Clint hummed in silent agreement. "But you're happy, right?"

Tony flashed his friend a confused smile. "Why wouldn't I be? Steve finally got what he wanted all this time."

"Did you?"

"Did I, what?"

"Get what you wanted." Clint's eyes were surprisingly knowing. Surely the team hadn't known much about their relationship struggles, had it been obvious? A change in dynamic like that was bound to come to light, he just hoped the team hadn't overestimated the severity of it.

"I just want Steve to be happy." Clint shook his head disbelievingly. "What happened to the Tony from years ago, who cared for no one's happiness but his own?"

Tony scoffed defensively, he was still himself, thank you very much.

"I'm still him, jackass. When Steve came along though, he showed me not to be so selfish." Clint's eyes narrowed calculatingly. "Sounds more like he changed you to me." Clint muttered under his breath, unbeknownst to Tony.

"You shouldn't put Steve first all the time, you know?" Tony was confused now, isn't that what was expected of him? That's just what good partners did, and Steve deserved the best.

There was silence as Tony considered Clint's comment, and as the latter debated whether to address his friend once more. He was a spy for good reason, and he had picked up on some of Steve's behaviors that were borderline toxic. At first, he had left it alone because Tony was no idiot. he was an adult that should have been able to recognize those signs.

Time went on though, and Tony still seemed painfully in love with the self righteous bastard. Even if Steve snapped at him in public, Tony would just play it off and laugh awkwardly. His love had blinded him to the truth.

One thing Clint wouldn’t tolerate, however, was the abuse getting physical. He was only waiting to have any suspicions confirmed so he could march right up to Steve and swing.

"Tony."

"Hmm?" Tony hummed, hoping the archer would just drop the subject. It was all too overwhelming.

"You can tell me anything." Tony smiled, resting his head on Clint's lap. He was pleased when he felt hands start to rake through his hair.

"I know."

✯✯✯

Tony was pacing in front of the elevator, he had been doing so for half and hour. Steve was due to arrive back at the tower, and Tony was eager to welcome his boyfriend home back from his successful mission.

He also wanted to meet the best friend Steve was willing to risk it all for. Tony supposed Bucky Barnes must be one hell of a person if Steve had done so much for him.

Finally, the elevator doors could be heard opening and Tony stopped abruptly. The urge to run into his lovers arms vanished when he saw the worried expression on Steve's face. Surely they hadn't run into any more issues, right?

Tony noticed that there wasn't an additional person in the elevator, where was Bucky?

"Tony, you've got to help us." Steve came forward and seized his shoulders.

"Bucky got taken away to get evaluated, they want him behind bars." Tony blinked blankly, the first thing Steve says and it's that. He mumbled greetings to Sam and Natasha as they walked by him to give the couple some privacy.

"You've got more power and influence than all of us combined, I'm sure you can pull a few strings."
Steve pleaded. It was an odd sight, Steve never begged. He was too prideful, Tony figured.

"Okay, calm down." Tony soothed, both to himself and the distressed blonde. "I'll see what I can do."

Steve didn't seem reassured by the words but he gave a curt nod, Tony would fix it. He had to.

"Do you want me to run you a bath? I've got a bubble bath soap shipped from Italy.." Tony tried alleviate Steve's stress.

"The last thing I'm worried about right now is some damn soap, Tony." Steve snapped, he sighed when he saw his boyfriends face fall.

"Look, I just want Bucky to be safe in the tower with us."
Tony nodded, he supposed he understood why Steve was anxious about the situation.

"Right, I'll get to that and make some phone calls." Steve smiled and kissed Tony's head.

"I knew you'd understand, babe." Tony nodded, he'd always understand. He'd be patient and understanding if that's what it would take to keep Steve around, even just a bit longer.

✯✯✯

Chapter Text

Tony groaned, rubbing his face with his hands roughly. He had been up nearly all night, making phone calls and trying to ensure that Bucky would be able to live at the tower after his evaluation. Now, many officials were on him. Claiming that James should be behind bars for the rest of his life.

The government wouldn't let the Winter Soldier go without a mighty good fight, but luckily for Tony, he was head strong and more than willing to plead for Bucky's right to a fair trial. Now, Bucky would only be let go under the condition that he pass his evaluation, Tony only hoped Bucky was deemed stable enough.

"Are you alright, sir? I'm sensing high levels of distress." Vision's voice broke through the silence abruptly, making Tony's body jerk. Tony looked to see Vision make his way into the kitchen through a wall nearby. Living in a home with enhanced humans and robots could sure be a pain. "Vis, we've talked about this. Just use the doors." Tony rasped.

Vision looked sheepish. "Apologies, sir. I always seem to forget." Vision sat next to Tony on the kitchen island, looking at him inquiringly.

"I'm fine. I just have a lot to deal with. Ross is on my ass, and Bucky won't be able to live here if he fails his evaluation." Tony projected. It felt nice to be able to unload onto someone after such a long night, android and all.

"It sounds like you're in need of a break." Tony shook his head. He sensed he wouldn't be able to indulge himself to a break in a long while. "I can't afford a break until I know Bucky is under this roof." Tony stressed, hands tugging at his hair. It would surely start to fall out if he didn't leave it alone soon, he had been pulling it for hours.

"James Barnes is Captain Rogers' friend, correct?" Tony nodded. "Then why isn't he helping you in your efforts to bring the sergeant into the compound?" Vision's voice was light with genuine curiosity. He wanted answers out of Tony, but he wouldn't push him past his limit.

Tony shrugged. "Steve already found him, now he's relying on me to do the rest." Which was fair, right? It was the least Tony could do for Steve, given he had the means necessary to help out.

Vision looked at Tony, unsure of what to make of the situation. "It seems to me like the Captain is burdening you with pressure." Tony's eyes widened comically. "What? No, I'm fine. I'll be better once this whole situation is done and over with."

Vision hummed, and nodded hesitantly, his answer had sufficed. "I admire your grit, Mr. Stark." He smiled before flying off and heading out through a wall once again. Tony rolled his eyes half heartedly. They would have to have more talks about that, because Tony didn't fancy dying of a heart attack any time soon.

✯✯✯

"You- erm, you look nice tonight." Clint let out awkwardly as he passed Pietro on the way to the dinner table.
Tony had to cover his face with a hand to restrain himself from smiling wide. Pietro's cheeks flushed a lovely pink, he grinned up at Clint and muttered a quiet thanks. Clint smiled back before hastily pulling out a chair. "Here."

Pietro's brief embarrassment was gone as quick as it had come, he looked rather pleased as he sat down and allowed Clint to push his chair forward the rest of the way. The new development in their strange relationship was even more amusing than their old banter, now they looked like teenagers in love.
The whole team watched in silent amusement as Clint sat down next to Pietro. Clint looked far too proud of his tactics, Tony knew he's hear more about it later.

For now, he was concerned about him and his boyfriend. Steve had refused to sit by him at the table, he claimed it was so they wouldn't fight and cause a scene in front of everyone.

Things had been tense ever since Tony had admitted to doing everything he could, but that his hands were ultimately tied. It wasn't down to him anymore, it was down to the results of Bucky's evaluation.

He may be a billionaire, but there was only so much he could do given he wasn't a government official. He thought Steve would understand and at least be grateful that Tony had provided Bucky a chance, but he had been proved wrong. Tony Stark hated when he was wrong.

Nonetheless, Tony planned to enjoy dinner with his team mates. It had been a while since they had all been gathered together, enjoying a meal. Tony, admittedly, enjoyed moments where he could spend time with his family, there was truly nothing like it.

Tony hadn't ever enjoyed domestic scenes until he actually experienced them. Now, he supposed he was a soft idiot. He found he didn't mind all that much, however, as he looked at the team chattering away early into the night.

Wanda and Vision kept to themselves as always, talking quietly. Sam was telling a story animatedly, waving his arms through the air excitedly as Bruce listened attentively. Clint and Pietro were chatting, and by the look on Pietro's slightly smug face, Tony knew Clint was gassing him with compliments.

Lastly, Tony's eyes strayed to Steve and Natasha. They were close, talking almost secretively if Tony didn't know better. Natasha even leaned in, whispering something in Steve's ear. Steve didn't seemed fazed one bit, almost as if he was used to it.

Tony was painfully confused, he could have sworn he had heard some shuffling. Come to think of it, Natasha's hand seemed rather close to Steve under the table.
Tony was about to check, when his AI's voice interrupted his train of thought.
"Sir, General Ross has entered the premises. He's accompanied my officials, they have brought James Barnes."

Tony gaped, glued to his seat a moment too long. Bucky was in the building, which could only mean he was deemed mentally stable. Chairs scraping against the floor could be hard all around the room as the team rushed into the common room.

What a sight it must have been, the earths mightiest heroes gathered around staring at the elevator expectantly. Tony's breath spiked when the elevator doors opened moments later to reveal an annoyed Ross. Tony knew he was the first person who pushed for Bucky to be thrown into confinement, and admitting defeat must not have been easy.

"Where is he?" Tony demanded, stepping forward.

Ross gave him a nasty sneer before turning and grabbing a man from the back of the elevator, he was nudged until he and Tony were mere feet away from each other. This was it, it was him.

Tony had to swallow the lump in his throat when James Barnes looked up at him for the first time. His mother had always told him the eyes were the window to the soul, and as he looked at Bucky's, he could see all the pain he had endured.

He looked haunted, yet there was a life in his eyes that made Tony know there was still a part of him left. Despite the years of brainwashing and torture, Tony could see that Bucky Barnes still prevailed. That alone moved Tony in way he hadn't been before, he was beautifully broken.

Tony didn't mind at all when Bucky gave him a tired, but genuine, half smile.

"Well hello there, doll."
✯✯✯

Chapter Text

Late at night, in the busy city of New York, the Avengers were questioning one James Buchanan Barnes. Even Tony was starting to get overwhelmed as he watched his team mates talk loudly both to Bucky, and amongst each other.

It was understandable, expected even, but Tony still thought that Bucky should have the space he most likely wanted. Albeit Tony's thoughts, he wasn't going to stop Steve from having his long awaited reunion, his boyfriend was currently embracing his friend. At least he was until Bucky's eyes searched the room frantically before meeting his, the blue eyes held a silent plea that Tony simply refused to ignore.

Tony could you tell he was overwhelmed, and who could blame the guy? He had only recently escaped Hydra's clutches, and had been on the run for a long while. Only to be taken into a tower full of heroes who wouldn't give him a breather, so much for good first impressions.

"Okay, clear out everyone. Give the guy some space!" Tony called out. He waved the team away as he made his way towards Bucky, who instantly looked relieved. Steve didn't look as pleased when he pulled away from their hug to face Tony. The genius decided he didn't care all that much, if no one else managed to feel James' discomfort, he had no problem letting them know.

Bucky sauntered over to Tony, much to everyone's surprise. "We have some lasagna you can eat if you're hungry. Or I can show you to a guest room so you can get some rest." Tony suggested, smiling invitingly so as to not put the man off.

"Plums." Bucky said simply.

Tony blinked. "You want plums?" At Bucky's nod, Tony agreed. "Alright, I can get you some plums." Bucky looked unsure at Tony's willingness to grant his request, why would he unless he wanted something in return? Even though Bucky was plagued with doubt, he couldn't find anything in Tony's warm eyes but sincerity.

"I never caught your name, sweet thing."
Oh mercy, Bucky's Brooklyn accent thickened when he flirted, Tony wasn't all too surprised when he felt the familiar fluttering in his stomach. It was beyond flattering, and Tony Stark loved to be charmed.

"His name is Tony Stark." Steve walked over to wrap an arm around Tony's waist. "My boyfriend." Steve's smile was strained, the awkward exchange left Tony with the strong urge to run out of the room.

Bucky looked horrified, and in a second he was as ashamed and dejected as he was when he first came into the tower. "Sorry, Stevie. I didn't mean to offend, if I had known he was your fella.."

Steve waved him off, assuring him it was okay. Tony was flirted with constantly, he was in the lime light too often for Steve's liking so it wasn't an unfamiliar scene.

"You want to follow me to the kitchen so I can get you those plums then, soldier?" Tony grinned, promptly ending the tension.

And damn, Bucky would be lying if he claimed he didn't let his eyes trail appreciatively down Tony's figure as he turned to lead the way.

He was uncomfortably aware of Steve's piercing eyes on both of them as they headed towards the kitchen.
He could only hope that his initial attraction would come to an end, because he suspected Steve wasn't as forgiving as he claimed to have been.

✯✯✯

"So, I already have a nice bedroom set up for you for you, maybe once you finish up I can show you." 
Bucky nodded absently, still indulging himself to plums Tony had insisted he cut into slices.

"Would you rather be with Steve right now? I could go get him, he could even show you to your room instead." Tony rambled, suddenly self conscious, because why would Bucky want to be with a stranger when he had Steve?

"No." Bucky rasped, frantic when Tony made to get up from the table. "I like your company." Bucky explained upon seeing Tony's confused expression.

"Alright.." Tony said hesitantly. He continued to watch Bucky eat, the silence was surprisingly not awkward, it was was they both needed after a few hectic days.

Before Tony knew it, Bucky was on his feet, gesturing to his empty plate. "I never thought I'd be tucking the Winter soldier into bed." Tony teased, secretly pleased when he earned a smile in return.

"You're a man of few words." Tony commented as they walked down the long halls. Bucky shrugged. "Sorry, guess I'm a little uptight after all the brainwashing." He said casually, and Tony just about died.

"Aren't you something, soldier?" Tony cackled. He never would have guessed Bucky would have such a crude sense of humor, but he certainly didn't mind.

They came to a stop in front of one of the many doors, though neither of them seemed to want to in.
"So, good night?" Tony fiddled with his hands, not meeting Bucky's eyes.

Bucky's fingers tilted Tony's chin up gently, the coolness of the metal was strangely soothing. "Good night." Bucky nodded. And with a final smile, he finally opened the door, disappearing into the darkness of the bedroom.

Tony took a deep breath, willing his feet to move off the ground and to his own room. He caught himself rubbing at his chin where Bucky had touched, and Tony couldn't decide what he felt worse about.

The fact that he was already looking forward to the following day so he could talk to James again, or the fact that Tony was dreading sharing a bed with his own boyfriend that night.

Idly, Tony decided it was the latter when he opened his door to find Steve's angry face staring back at him. He had a feeling neither of them would be sleeping any time soon.
✯✯✯

Chapter Text

Bucky watched Tony grumble silently and rub his face blearily, seizing the coffee pot like a prized possession. It took Tony a few deep sips to perk up and even realize he wasn't alone. "Jesus fucking Christ." Tony grabbed at his chest and huffed out a breath.

Bucky supposed it was a reasonable reaction, given he suddenly realized that he was being watched by an ex assassin. He thought Tony would be wary to approach him after that, so he was surprised when Tony took a seat next to him excitedly.

"Hi, did you sleep well? I hope you did because I wanted to take a good look at that arm of yours, only if you want to of course. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable." Tony rambled, and Bucky found it irresistibly endearing.

"My arm?" Bucky raised an eyebrow, what could Tony possibly want with his arm? Tony gave a jerk nod, he reached to touch Bucky's bionic arm but hesitated. "May I?"

Bucky blinked blankly, he'd never really been asked that before. Bucky never really had a choice, and if he had been back then, he'd have said no. This was different though, Tony felt safe and warm. He wouldn't hurt him, and Bucky was startled to realize how true he believed that to be.

He stretched his arm out for Tony, silently agreeing. As soon  as Tony's calloused hands touched the metal, he began to babble incoherently about the technology and the improvements he could make. Bucky hardly payed attention to anything else, just the way he felt when he saw the contrast of their hands together.

"So, what do you think?" Bucky was startled out of his stupor, he looked up to see Tony's knowing smile.
"Sorry, what?" He coughed awkwardly.
"I just asked if you would mind coming down to my lab today, just to make a rough draft of a new arm."

"You'd build an arm for me?" Bucky asked, he was confused because Tony had no reason to be nice to him. Yet, there he was offering to upgrade Bucky's arm.

"Well, yeah! That's what I do around here, make everything. It's why the team even keeps me around." He joked, making Bucky frown because he could have sworn he heard some sincerity in his voice.

"Are you sure? I mean-" Tony held a hand up, willing Bucky's self loathing hesitation to stop. "I'm sure, all you need to do is come down to my lab, Bucky Bear." The nickname rolled off his tongue casually.

Bucky didn't even need to think it over. Tony was sunshine, and after decades in the dark, the eccentric genius' company was exactly what he needed.

Just as he was nodding his agreement, footsteps were heard padding into the room. Steve and Natasha, who had been talking quietly, stilled when they realized the kitchen already had inhabitants.

Tony frowned in thought, because Steve was supposed to be going on a run. At least that's what he had claimed when he rushed out of bed earlier.
Steve's eyes trailed down to where their hands were touching, an unsettling look flickered in his eyes.

Bucky sensed Steve's discomfort and tried to withdraw his hand but Tony just held on tighter, unrelenting under Steve's gaze. If Steve was annoyed by something as innocent as the touching of hands, he would just have to deal with it.

Tony met Steve's eyes unwaveringly, wordlessly challenging him to bring the subject forward. It seemed Steve knew better than to start an argument in front of others, his eyes shifted back to Natasha.

"So, about that run.." And with that, they were gone. Which Tony found beyond unusual, why had they come in? Neither of them had grabbed a quick bite or anything.

Tony craned his neck to look at Bucky, who seemed to be as puzzled as Tony. The weird exchange left Tony with the overwhelming urge to have another cup of coffee, or two, or three...

Coffee was the only thing that remained the same nowadays, Tony really couldn't say the same about his unstable relationship.
As he poured the rich beverage into his mug, Tony wondered absently if James would prove to be consistent too. Because as eccentric as he was, Tony would very much like to have better connections than the one he had with coffee.

✯✯✯

Bucky rounded the corner of Tony's lab, he had just wrapped up designing his arm with the genius.
Which, admittedly, was the reason there was a spring to his step. Bucky just couldn't fathom how Tony could be so giving, especially to someone like him.

Bucky didn't want to question what was good, however, at least not when Tony was making him feel all the right things. His dream like state was promptly squashed when he ran into Steve.

Steve, who was Tony's boyfriend, and just so happened to be his best friend. Way to ruin a guys morning.
"Hey, Buck." Steve smiled, but instead of finding it comforting, Bucky felt oddly put off by it.

"Hey, punk." Bucky said hesitantly. He noticed Steve was looking around distractedly, he hadn't been looking for him.

"If you're looking for Tony, he's in his lab."

Steve's smile faltered if only for a second, Bucky caught the slip though, and he knew what prompted it.
"I was just with him drawing up a new arm design. He's brilliant." Bucky added, relived when Steve gave a terse nod of agreement.

"How long have you been together?" Bucky asked, and to be frank he had no interest in knowing anything about of their relationship. Not when Steve had to go ahead and date someone exactly his type, but he owed it to Steve to at least seem interested in his love life.

"Well, with Tony it feels like it's been forever." Steve answered, and gave a small laugh. Bucky chuckled along politely, debating whether he should press further.

"So, assuming it's been a while. Do you think he might be the one? You always were quite the romantic." Bucky asked, and he couldn't gauge whether he had crossed a line by Steve's blank expression.

Steve swayed on the spot uncomfortably for a moment.
"I don't know yet, with him it varies from moment to moment." Bucky nodded, though he certainly didn't know how Steve could say that.
He had to remind himself that this wasn't the Steve he knew back in the forties, he had changed since then. They both had, and that was okay.

"I'll go see him now, maybe you and I  could go for a walk later." Bucky nodded in agreement and watched as Steve walked away. As much as he wished to deny it, he didn't recognize his friend in the least.

As soon as Steve came into Tony's lab, he smiled when he saw Tony lightly conversing with Dummy. As much as Tony claimed the robot was a nuisance, he knew his boyfriend could never stand to part with him.

Steve was quick to walk over and kiss Tony hard, swallowing Tony's shocked gasp. He hauled Tony up so his slender legs could wrap around his waist. Through his surprise and many kisses, Tony managed a smile up at Steve which was instantly returned. He had missed his old lover.

Moments later, they both lay on one of Tony's tables. Blueprints were scattered around the floor, and Tony was starting to get uncomfortable as his sweaty skin stuck to the table. He didn't care, he only cared that Steve was looking at him as if he were the only person in the world.

"No one will ever love you like I do." Steve whispered. Tony found that strangely possessive, but he concluded that he just misinterpreted it and he leaned into Steve for some well awaited cuddles.

And though this exact moment was what he had been wanting for months, he couldn't help his mind from straying elsewhere. He tried to keep his thoughts at bay and will himself to live that moment with Steve.
Yet, he couldn't stop himself from wondering whether James Barnes had felt the butterflies in his stomach Tony had felt that morning too.

Chapter Text

It had been two months since Bucky started living in the tower, and since then he had started going on missions with the rest of the Avengers. Given his skill set, he was an asset to the team, but they were mindful to not push Bucky past his limit.

Bucky, luckily didn't associate their expeditions with his past experiences, at least he hadn't yet. Over the course of his stay, there hadn't been anything that triggered the Winter Soldier. Nonetheless, the team remained vigilant to avoid any mishaps.

The Avengers were currently sprawled out across the Quinjet, antsy to land and complete their mission. There had been an alert of Hydra activity, and they had suited up just minutes ago.

Tony walked over to Bucky, who he had grown concerned for ever since they were told who they'd have the displeasure of facing once again. The soldier hadn't so much as blinked, and he insisted that he come along on the mission.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Bucky gave a firm nod, his resolve not wavering in the slightest. Tony couldn't even begin to fathom how strong Bucky was. He was, in truth, a very broken man and still he persevered. Tony had his own baggage, but as opposed to making him stronger, he found that it weighed him down.

"I don't think I could ever face my past as valiantly as you." Tony sat next to Bucky, he was sure the other man could feel the admiration coming off him in waves. "Your past?" Bucky's head tilted in silent question. "Howard." Tony shrugged to appear nonchalant but Bucky knew better. "He fucked me up real bad as a kid."

"And your mom?" Bucky was relieved to see Tony smile fondly. "My mom was.. well, she was lovely." He cleared his throat, composing himself before he could speak again. "I resented her at one point in my life for letting Howard treat me however he pleased. Until I realized she was on the same boat." Tony shuffled uncomfortably.

"Sorry, didn't mean to overshare."

Bucky shook his head and reached to grab Tony's shoulder, reassuring in a way Tony had never known. "You didn't." Tony nodded.

"And for the record, I always thought Howard was a bit of a pretentious dick."

Tony's choked, startled laugh made a few of their teammates look over. None of which they paid much mind to. "I knew there was a reason I took a liking to you."

They sit in a comfortable silence as they wait for a command, and sure enough it comes only moments later. "Alright team, we're going out in pairs. Partner up." Steve had barely finished his sentence when Tony turned to Bucky with a hesitant grin.

Bucky caught on to the silent suggestion quickly. "Wouldn't you rather be partnered up with Steve instead?" Tony frowned slightly before giving a nonchalant shrug. "He's already partnered up with Natasha."

Tony nodded in their direction, and sure enough, they were already gearing up together. "And that doesn't bother you?" Bucky knew that if he were the one dating Tony- not that he wanted to- he'd want to be able to have his back in the battlefield.

"Not really, I can hold my own." Tony replied confidently. "It's fine if you don't want to.." He said upon seeing Bucky's look of uncertainty. "No! I mean, of course I want to." Bucky replied, awkward after his sudden exclamation. "It'd be an honor." He finished lamely.

"Alright, don't get corny on me now, Soldier. I thought you were better than that." Bucky nodded solemnly. "Right, my sincerest apologies. I'm just so in awe and humbled to be in your presence." Bucky scrambled to bow before him.

Tony hadn't gotten to laugh nearly as much as he wanted to before their captain regarded them with a stern; "Fellas, you're holding us all back." They hurried to line up after that.

"As you know, there's an abandoned warehouse that SHIELD suspects is a HYDRA base, there's been some recent activity. Our job is to get in there unsuspected and find out what we can. Try not to be seen, you're only to attack if I say so." They all nodded along, quietly buzzing to get out of the Quinjet.

"Now, I need all pairs to see me. You'll be given your individual orders once you check in with me."

Immediately, Pietro went up to Steve and dragged along a complacent looking Sam. Tony winced when he saw Clint drag his feet behind them. "I'm going to kill him." He stated simply, leaving no room for any doubt or discussion. "Pietro or Sam?" Clint, after much contemplation, muttered; "Whoever I can get my hands on first."

Tony couldn't bring himself to laugh at his friend's dismay, he was rather busy watching the pair in question. He hadn't ever considered the possibility that Sam might like Pietro, but there was something about the way they were interacting just now that confused Tony to no end.

"Who's your partner, then?" Tony asked, regretting having asked when he realized they were an odd number. "No one, did you forget Bruce is staying behind?" Clint grumbled. Tony gave his friend's shoulder a pat. "Well maybe you can group up with us. I'm sure Buckaroo wouldn't mind."

Bucky gave Tony an amused smile at the nickname before nodding towards their expectant captain. "You and Clint?" Steve asked Tony.

Clint gave Tony a sideways glance. "Actually, Bucky and I partnered up." Steve pursed his lips, almost as if he had to consider the very idea. "Alright. I want you both to come in from the ceiling. Go in through the vents and try to find any data or useful information." Tony nodded, he was always the one who got pegged with that particular part of every job.

"Clint, you're staying behind and keeping a lookout." The archer scowled and muttered something barely legible about how going through vents was his forte.

"Sorry, bro." Sam consoled as the team gathered around the opening, ready to put the plan into action. Clint's shoulders grew stiff, and Tony caught Pietro flashing him a look of silent consideration.

He knew what was going on. Pietro was pulling the jealousy card, and it had obviously worked. Only, he seemed to be assessing whether his unoriginal plan was pulling the reaction he had wanted from Clint. Tony figured Pietro was pleased by what he found based on the smug smile stretching across his lips.

Tony rolled his eyes, more than a little exasperated.

Tony could only gasp when he felt himself being pulled into solid arms. He hummed when Steve leaned down and kissed him soundly. Pleased and just a little bit mortified at the sudden public display of affection. "Be safe." Steve whispered.

Tony nodded, dazed. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't confused. Steve hadn't been like this in such a long while, it was a bit unnerving. The moment was over as soon as it had begun, and Steve rubbed the back of his head as if he were embarrassed.

He stumbled back to Bucky, who had pointedly looked away at the romantic interaction. He gave him a strained smile. Tony knew he shouldn't be ashamed. It wasn't as if Bucky was his boyfriend- and he certainly didn't want him to be- but as he looked at the soldier, he couldn't help but feel guilty.

Right as they were about to receive their cue, Tony took a hold of Bucky's hand discreetly. It could have passed as a friendly gesture, meant to simply reassure the other. Though, as the pair glanced at each other, almost secretively, it felt like much more than that.

Bucky's hand gave Tony's a soft squeeze, seeking something they both had nearly their whole lives. Something Tony had found with...Steve. Bucky shot Tony a puzzled look when the genius dropped his hand as if he had been burned. It was a realization he had needed, but oddly, didn't wish to have.

Tony had to step out of his stupor, he knew that. Yet, he couldn't help but long for a moment, however brief it may be, away from his almost unrequited love with Steve, where he simply felt wanted again.

Chapter Text

"Fuck." Tony fell into a slight panic as he stared into the now emotionless gray-blue eyes before him. He was at a loss of what to do. For he hadn't ever been face to face with the Winter soldier before. The man before him might've looked like the Bucky he had grown to care for, but it wasn't him. This man certainly didn't look like he had an odd liking to plums.

It was supposed to be a fairly easy mission, a quick in and out. Tony didn't think it would turn out like this. They had been so close.

Tony had hacked into H.Y.D.R.A.S' system to scavenge for anything he could get his hands on, all while Bucky kept a look out. Only, they had been caught a mere moment later. Bucky was as graceful on the battlefield as a ballerina was on stage. His moves were calculated and swift, but that hadn't been enough. Because what it took for it all to go to hell were a few angrily spoken words in Russian.

Tony could see Bucky fighting it, could see that he hadn't wished to bring Tony any harm. But there hadn't been anything he could do, the H.Y.D.R.A agent had managed to slip out of the room just as quickly as she had come in. Leaving Tony to fend for himself when the Winter soldier was triggered.

Now, he was Tony fucking Stark, he knew plenty about fending for himself. That wasn't the problem, he just didn't think he could bring himself to fight the assassin when he knew Bucky Barnes was still in there.

"Bucky. I-" Tony swallowed thickly when his voice came out a strangled mess. "I need you to snap out of it soldier." That only earned him a snarl.

Tony watched as the assassin became aware of his surroundings, utterly at a loss of what to do. "I know you're confused, Buck" He took a few cautious steps towards the other man, wincing when a gun was pulled out on him in return.
"It's okay, I can help you."

The soldier didn't even hesitate, his finger flexed over the trigger.

"I don't want to fight you." As if to prove this, Tony gave a murmured command for his suit to fold away. This didn't phase the soldier, he only repositioned the gun once the helmet was off.

Tony couldn't find it in him to be scared when the gun was held firmly against his forehead. Because this was Bucky, a man who had earned his trust in a matter of days. Now he had to earn his.

"I can take you home."

The soldier hesitated then, looking Tony in the eyes. "I have a home?" His voice came out all mangled, strikingly different from Bucky's smooth drawl. Tony smiled shakily. "You do." As soon as the weapon was lowered completely, Tony held out a surprisingly steady hand.

"You have a home, I'll help you find your way if you let me." Tony didn't want to touch the other until he knew such contact was welcome. Bucky stared at him skeptically, as if trying to decipher whether Tony was genuine or not.

Soon enough, they were holding hands just as they had been a few hours ago. For a moment, they stayed that way. Staring at each other, and Tony was amazed that he felt the same way he had the moment he first met Bucky. This time, his blue eyes appeared to be searching Tony's desperately.

With no warning, the soldier tugged at Tony's hand, pulling him into his chest. He looked down at Tony, silently asking if it was okay. Tony smiled up at him, which seemed to put the soldier completely at ease.

They remained as they were until they were (predictably) interrupted by their fellow team members. "We've been compromised, we've got to go." Steve gave a frustrated huff upon entering the room. Only to stop dead in his tracks when the soldier pushed Tony behind him and pointed the same gun that had been pressed against Tony at him.

"Whoa, hey- its okay." Tony soothed, laying a firm hand on the small of his back. The soldier didn't lower his weapon or turn around, Steve raised his hands defensively.

"Tony?" Steve tone was inquisitive. Tony paid him no mind, he was focused on calming the soldier who could put a bullet through his team mates at any given moment.

"They're safe." A long, agonizing beat. The reassurance seemed to do the trick, and the gun was dropped, but the soldier was still on guard. He looked at Steve and Natasha threateningly, and Tony had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't hesitate to snap their necks if they made a sudden move.

"C'mon then, Manchurian Candidate. We have to get on the Quinjet." Tony flashed the soldier a bright smile and turned to lead the way. Only, the other man clutched onto his arm to prevent him from taking another step. His eyes were almost frantic with visible fear.

Tony couldn't find it in him to put up a fight when the soldier hoisted him up into his arms securely, especially when he did so as tenderly and carefully as he did. "I'll keep you safe." He said, and Tony's heart squeezed in his chest. He found that he liked the soldier and his sentiments were clearly returned.

"Alright, onwards." Tony leaned his head against his chest, accepting his fate.

Tony swore he saw a ghost of a smile on the man's face as he carried him out the door, neither of them minding the bewildered looks they received from Steve and Natasha. The former's jaw clenched tight as he watched his boyfriend talk the Winter Soldier's ear off the whole way back. If he found it annoying, he didn't show it.

The soldier shot any agent that got in their way without a single thought, all while keeping Tony safe in his arms just as he had said.

When they reached the Quinjet the soldier seemed wary to approach unknown people, he only went in after Tony's affirmation that they were all part of their team.

"You two get hitched or sum'?" Tony's quip died in his throat when he saw his best friend on a medical stretcher, being tended to by Bruce.

"Clint, what the hell happened? You were supposed to keep a look out.” Clint’s would naturally disobey direct orders to prove a point, and now he paid the price. Tony stroked the soldier's cheek in appreciation when he walked them closer to the pair. "I guess I was a bit reckless." Clint gave a weak attempt at a shrug, wincing and reaching to clutch at his stomach.

Bruce swatted his hand away and gave him a pointed look. "Don't touch your wound, Clint. I've alerted Dr. Cho, she'll tend to you as soon as we return to the compound." Clint grumbled illegibly, which gave Tony a peace of mind. His friend would be okay.

"What's the matter, Tony?" Bruce fretted, walking over to inspect any damage. "Why is Bucky carrying you, do you need medical attention?" Bruce reared back when he was growled at by Tony's unassigned guard dog.

Bruce gaped at them as Tony proceeded to comfort the man as if the situation was common. He could only stand in shock before Tony's attention returned to him. "The Winter Soldier was triggered." Suddenly, everyone in the Quinjet tensed. Wanda and Vision (Who had been in a corner) shuffled closer in case of an attack.

"So... he's taken it upon himself to be your ward?"

"Something like that." Tony moved to get comfortable in the other's arms. The soldier instantly looked down at Tony worriedly, he led Tony's head onto the curve of his neck and shoulder with a gentle hand. Tony could purr with how warm and comfy he was. "Okay?" Tony could feel the rumbling of Bucky's chest as he spoke.

"I'm okay." The soldier relaxed at that.

The moment was utterly ruined by Clint's next words; "Is no one else going to talk about the fact that Bucky literally growled ?" The sentence ended in a grunt, his wound was obviously hurting him more than he led on.

Bruce ran a hand through his unruly hair. "What's taking Pietro and Sam so long?"

The question remained on everyone's minds as they waited around for what seemed like a very long time. Wanda's suggestion of going after them was dismissed by their captain quickly, they could possibly take longer that way. So they were all forced to wait, cautious of their movements now that they knew an assassin was triggered.

It soon became clear that Bucky had no intentions to hurt anyone, so long as they didn't even look at Tony the wrong way. He had been the first person to calm him down as the soldier, and it provided him with a fierce sense of protection he hadn't felt before.

Bucky had taken a seat and Tony willed himself not to dose off at the feeling of being against a human heater. Natasha was next to Clint's stretcher asking him questions so he'd stay conscious. Bruce was pacing as he held a conversation with Wanda and Vision. And Steve... he was watching Tony get swaddled by the Winter soldier. His mind was everywhere at once, he wondered why the soldier had taken a liking to Tony of all people.

He felt that there was something wrong ever since Bucky started living in the compound, but he figured that Bucky simply wanted to familiarize himself with the future (and who better to ask than Tony Stark?). Now, he wasn't so sure.

Laughs were heard in the near distance as the last couple of team mates made their way into the Quinjet. All smiles and giggles as they were met with the eyes of their irritated team mates. "You guys should have seen Sam! There were more than ten H.Y.D.R.A. agents and he took them all down with- wait, where's..?" Pietro's grin fell when he spotted Clint. "Oh my.."

Steve glared at them both before he ordered for take off. Bruce gave Pietro a disapproving look. "He's been bleeding out in here because you guys decided to play around during the mission. You're an Avenger, you're supposed to save lives. Including your team mate's."

Pietro looked wrecked by his words, his eyes grew alarmingly wet. "I didn't mean to, I-" He spared Clint another glance, letting out a hurt, pathetic sound from seeing him in so much discomfort.

Bruce shot him one last disappointed look before walking off. Sam and Pietro weren't let off the hook yet, because as soon as the jet was in the air and on autopilot mode, Steve stormed his way to them.

"Just what were you two doing?" The whole time Steve berated them for their negligence to do their job efficiently, Sam looked as though he was biting his tongue while Pietro just hung his head low.
He'd steal brief looks over at the injured archer a few times, looking more miserable as the time stretched on. It had been his fault.

He paired up with Sam as a childish attempt to get a reaction out of Clint, and it ended up hurting him more than one way the end. He felt absolutely terrible.

Finally, when Steve had finished his long monologue, Pietro sped to be beside Clint. He smiled sheepishly at Natasha and she took it as her cue to leave. Pietro swallowed to ease the telltale scratch in his throat.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. He frowned deeply, looking away when he felt his breath hitch.

Clint smiled weakly, despite it all. "I'll live. It'll take more than that to get rid of me." Pietro appreciated Clint's attempt at lifting the mood, but he couldn't help but be saddened by the joke.

"No, Clint. I need you in my life, I don't want anything to ever happen to you. You've got to know that." Pietro spoke, almost desperately. Clint blinked, processing the sudden vulnerability from the one person who he hadn't expected it from.

"I feel the same." Clint's voice was the firmest it had been since he was carried back to the jet, he took the gravity of the situation very seriously.

Pietro grasped one of Clint's hands in his for both of their sakes. He asked if there was anything else he could do, to which Clint replied; "Just stay."

Tony watched them from his place in the warm cocoon that was the Winter Soldier. He mused whether this was the final push they had needed to finally make each other happy. Something told him that it wasn't, they both had an incessant flair for the dramatic after all.

Tony looked up at the soldier and caught sight of the expressive eyes that Tony loved to analyze. Only to realize that his eyes were becoming less clouded over with every blink. Tony smiled. He was finding his way back.

Then, in a state where the man was half Bucky Barnes and half the murderous entity he had inhabited for the past few hours, he whispered soft, sincere words into Tony's ear;

"You're my home."

Chapter Text

Bucky was avoiding him, that much he knew. The man had clutched him like a lifeline, their bodies flush together, the whole time he came to his senses. Tony didn't mind one bit when they had to stay in the quinjet, even as his best friend was wheeled away. Partly because Pietro was hot on his trail, following the paramedics. Tony knew Clint was in good hands, Pietro wouldn't leave his side and he was sure of that.

So, he wasn't going to leave Bucky's, not when he needed him the most. No one dared to interrupt them the whole time they spent curled into each other. Which helped Tony ease Bucky down fairly quickly.

Sure enough, as soon as Bucky Barnes fully came to, he yanked back from Tony's arms. Horrified, he managed to ask Tony if he had hurt anyone. "Only H.Y.D.R.A agents, James. We're all okay." Tony paused. "Well, except Clint but that's a totally unrelated issue."

While Bucky was relieved at the news, the tension in his shoulders didn't ease up one bit. "I knew this was a mistake." Bucky said darkly. Tony could only reach out futilely as Bucky curled in on himself. It felt as though they were back to square one. It wasn't long ago that Tony had insisted that Bucky was worthy of becoming an Avenger and that he didn't deserve to be behind bars. He remembered the disbelief in his eyes, and he never wanted to see it again. Never wanted Bucky to resent himself for something he had no control over.

Before he could say anything else, Bucky stood up and fled from the quinjet. Tony could only sit there, dumbfounded, for a few seconds before he came to his senses.

But Bucky was already gone when Tony tried to catch up to him, presumably to process everything alone. As much he wanted to take after him, he decided to respect Bucky's space, and hopefully he'd be willing to talk later on. The last thing he wanted was to make him feel cornered or pressured. Bucky knew what he needed in that moment, and if he needed any form of comfort, it would be on his own terms.

He was reflecting on the interaction a while later. With more than a little reluctance, Tony headed for the med bay. He was nonplussed when he heard faint laughs projecting from the room that carried all the way down the long halls. Tony's lips lifted into an easy smile as he walked into a relieving scene.
Clint was chuckling along to whatever joke Natasha had made, completely pain free as he did so. Dr. Cho was already finishing up on the old injury, Pietro watched in awe by Clint's side as the medical procedure was done.

"He's flatlining, isn't he? Call it, time?"
Clint's eyes filled with mirth at the sight of Tony leaning against the doorway.

"No, no, no. I'm gonna live forever. I'm going to be made of plastic." Dr. Cho smiled pleasantly. "You'll be made of you, Mr. Barton. Your own girlfriend won't be able to tell the difference." Clint snorted and side eyed Tony. "I don't have a girlfriend."
"Oh, my apologies. I meant to say your partner." She smiled apologetically at Pietro, who only then realized just how domestic he looked fretting over Clint at his bedside.

There was a pause where the whole room of people remained quiet. No one bothered correcting her, and that somehow felt right.
It was only when Dr. Cho was taking her leave, Tony and Natasha walking her out, that Pietro broke the silence tentatively.

Clint's body twitched in surprise when he felt a hand travel up under his shirt, only to promptly relax when he saw that Pietro was staring at the otherwise unidentifiable new tissue that Dr. Cho had created.

"I can definitely tell the difference."

✯✯✯

Steve Rogers considered himself a reasonable man, if a little short tempered. So why was it that he had been losing his mind over Tony and Bucky's friendship the last few months?

It's all he could ever think about, he felt physically ill at the prospect of anything happening between them as they spent more and more time together.
What did Tony take him as? A fool, who failed to realize he was being deceived by the people he was supposed to be closest to?

Steve wouldn't stand for it

So, when he crossed paths with Tony for the first time since the mission, he made his displeasure known.

Tony was caught up in his thoughts when he ran into Steve, his troubled frown didn't escape his notice.

"Steve." His smile was too tight to be real.

"We have to talk."

Confused, Tony could only nod and follow Steve to their bedroom. "You're not going to kill me, are you?" Tony laughed when Steve just stood with his back towards him once the door had clicked shut.

"I want you to stay away from Bucky." Tony blinked at Steve blankly when he turned around and met his eyes. Casual as ever, as if he hadn't just said something completely unreasonable.

"What- why?" Tony spluttered.

Steve scoffed. "Do you mean to tell me there isn't something going on between you two?"
Tony's mouth finally caught up with his mind.
"You aren't seriously accusing me of cheating on you?"

Steve didn't miss a beat. "Perhaps you know better than that, but I know you think about it."

He stepped forward, but Tony refused to move away and continued to stare at him unwaveringly.
"You think about him." Tony's skin crawled when Steve touched his shoulder.

"I bet that when we fuck you pretend it's him." Tony was abruptly shoved into the plush bed.

Had Steve always been this rough?

"You want him to be the one touching you." Steve scrunched up the front of Tony's shirt in his clenched fist. "Pleasuring you."

He was being held down.

"Loving you."

Tony was shaking staring up at Steve, he felt so helplessly small. It didn't feel like he was staring into the eyes of the man he loved. Right then, Steve didn't look like himself at all.

It was as if he was looking at a different person, and he was beyond scared of them.

"But I love you." His voice had changed completely and his grip loosened a bit.

"I love you so much." Steve's voice was desperate, choked. It made Tony's eyes well up.

"Do you believe it? That I love you?"

Tony nodded, his curls bouncing wildly.

"I don't know what I'd do if you were to leave me." Steve paused.

"Is that what you want?"

"No, no, no." Tony chanted like a mantra.
"I've been with you through everything, I.."

Tony felt as if every single thing he had done to hold onto their crumbling relationship was useless. How good could it have been if things had escalated to this?

If it led Steve to think Tony had deceived him?
Admittedly, he did spend most of his time with Bucky lately. Tony only wanted to make him feel welcome and bond with Steve's best friend... at least that's what he wanted at first.

When he only saw him as Steve's best friend, before he got to know he was just Buck.
Reserved but assertive, kind, absolutely lovely, gorgeous...

Steve was right, Tony had gotten in too deep.

For the first time since he had gotten together with Steve, he allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to be with someone else. To be with Bucky. Someone who understood him, whom he understood as well.

He couldn't do that though... he worked on his relationship too hard to let go of it now. Tony was sure this was just the rain and that soon enough, the rainbow would appear.

He definitely didn't want to end things with the man he used to refer to as the love of his life. So sacrifices had to be made.

"Tell me you'll stay away from him." Steve whispered, breathing raggedly into Tony's neck.

Tony only hesitated for a second

"I will."

He caressed the back of Steve's head, reassuring him and himself. Grounding him.

Tony didn't think he'd be able to look into Bucky's eyes and walk away. To suddenly shut him out of his life when they had grown so close over the last few months. His heart ached at the thought of not being able to make him smile everyday. God knows he needed it.

Even now, he was worrying about how Bucky felt after the mission had gone wrong. If he had finally calmed down and wanted to talk about it.
He wouldn't be able to talk to Tony about anything ever again.

Tony decided it was okay, he had Steve at the end of the day. And Bucky still had his best friend. Maybe it had been for the best.

"You'll see that it's for the best."

Tony nodded, suddenly numb.

"Yeah, okay."

Chapter Text

Clint was tremendously grateful to have access to such effective medical care. Because of it, he could go about his day normally. Or, at least he was able to. Pietro wouldn't let him do much of anything since Clint was cleared to go to the living area. His hovering didn't cease hours after the fact. Clint couldn't decide if he was amused or annoyed by it.

Admittedly, he was shaken by what had happened too. He just expected Pietro to have moved on from it by now. He looked at Pietro, who was engulfed in a solo game of Mario cart. He wasn't paying any attention, Clint could just...

He had only begun to get up when Pietro's head snapped to look at him in alarm.

"Where are you going?"

Clint was being pushed back gently onto the couch. "I was just going to get a snack."

"I can get that for you." He was back a few seconds later. Clint snorted when he saw Pietro's choice of a snack, which was sheepishly handed over. He held the green apple in his unsteady hand, mind made up. "Pietro." he spoke barely above a whisper, almost as if he were scared of spoiling the gentleness of the moment. Pietro cocked his head to the side questioningly, a nervous smile pulling at his lips. Clint set the fruit aside.

"Yes?"

Clint swallowed, desperate to rid of the lump in his throat.

"You look devastatingly pretty tod-"

"Oh, shut up." Pietro murmured.

And just like that, persistent lips were being pressed onto Clint's. He hadn't counted on Pietro kissing him first, but it was so unbelievably breathtaking that he found he didn't mind at all. Clint's hands roamed up to cup Pietro's face as the kiss grew more intense, much like his feelings that had harbored over time. His touches lingered, cherishing the moment while it lasted. God, if only it could last forever.

Pietro didn't seem to want the moment to end either, his hands gripped Clint's shirt like a lifeline as though it was holding him down to earth.
Clint must've died and gone to heaven because Pietro's mouth was simply too heavenly to be real. The sudden moan that escaped said lips were a reminder that it was very much happening and Clint nearly lost his mind all over again.

It was only when the need for air became too great that Clint and Pietro separated with great reluctance.

Nothing needed to be said, they were content just staring at one another as their breaths intermingled as one.

"Pietro."

It took Pietro a moment to realize that his name wasn't called by the man he had just shared a special moment with.

Sam was standing at the doorway, an indecipherable look in his eyes. "Could I steal you for a bit, I think we need to talk." Clint's stomach dropped. Of course, after all of that there were still loose ends to be tied.

Pietro looked at him worriedly, he didn't want to go, they both knew that. Clint tried his best to look indifferent, he wasn't one to wear his emotions on his sleeve and allow others to see they've hurt him. "Go." He motioned for him to join Sam. "I was going to head up to my room anyway."

Clint went to do just that when Pietro called for him. Desperate to reassure him in any way, to let him know just how much the kiss had meant to him.

"You left your apple." Pietro blurted, he nearly slapped himself then and there.

"I've lost my appetite." Clint waved him off.

"Promise me we'll talk later." Pietro tried instead, all but pleading, eyes darting to Sam who had been growing impatient. Clint could only nod before taking his leave.

He was beyond exhausted, the game of cat and mouse that they had been playing was taxing. It only made Sam's strange involvement in it all the tipping point. Clint wasn't going to take much more, because through everything it all proved to be little to zero rewarding.

Though, now that he's had a glimpse of what could be, he doubted whether walking away would still be an option or not. He seemed to be tethered to the bastard, after all.

✯✯✯

Tony was tending to his bots gloomily.
He knew Dum-E sensed his mood because he let out sad beeps as he was being wiped down.

Tony could only pat the melodramatic bot. "I know, bud." Something ached deep in his chest when he glanced over at his half finished arm. Tony felt oddly comforted knowing he wasn't the only one who missed having Bucky down at the lab. He was there more often than not, chatting away and not at all contributing anything to the arm making (which is what he was originally down there for).

They mostly just enjoyed each other's company, Bucky loved to hear Tony drone on about anything in the world. It was a comfortable dynamic, one Tony had to let go of. Easier said than done, huh.

"Sir, Mr. Barnes wishes to come into the lab."

Tony's stomach gave a rather unpleasant swoop.

He knew this would happen, obviously. Normally Bucky wouldn't even need to ask for any access, he'd be granted entry automatically. Tony hadn't wasted time in instructing his AI otherwise. He had to prioritize his partner.

This is what all of this was for, Steve.

"Deny him entry, Fri." With a heavy heart, Tony went to work on one of his cars. Bucky loves these cars, Tony thought absently. "Sir, he appears to be-"
"Mute." If he heard any more, he'd give in. Tony continued to work in the comfort of his lab, alone.

✯✯✯

Bucky was struggling to pull himself together, the tight feeling in his chest was weighing him down. The anxiety that had been bubbling up all day
had finally surfaced. Bucky knew Tony no longer wanted anything to do with him, he had known it would happen all along. He hadn't been strong
enough in the end, Tony had taken one look at the Winter soldier and decided he didn't want to continue their unlikely friendship

And god damn, it hurt more than anything.

"Buck." The soldier turned to see Steve practically strutting down the hall, a steaming cup of coffee in hand. "What's up?" Bucky hesitated.
"Nothing… I was just headed up for some rest." Steve nodded sympathetically.
"Take some time for yourself, you need it." Bucky nodded and turned sharply. "And, Bucky." Steve called after him.
Bucky stopped in his tracks. "I hate to have to tell you this but. Tony doesn't really want to speak to you anymore." Bucky was glad he wasn't
facing the other man, because he was sure heartbreak was painted on his face. "He feels unsafe after the whole.." Steve didn't have to finish, they
both knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I didn't want to be the messenger but my boyfriend comes first. I hope you can respect his wishes.
Bucky closed his eyes, feeling devastatingly alone all of a sudden. "Of course, see ya Stevie."
And he was gone.
Steve smiled, pleased. That was done and out of the way and now he'd have a nice evening with his Tony.
Yes, everything was falling into place.

Chapter Text

There weren't many places in the compound where Bucky could just exist, undisturbed. The remainder of the previous day had been spent in his room where he allowed himself to wallow in self pity.

While the space had been nice to have, Bucky knew he'd spiral into depression if he allowed himself to stay in his bedroom any longer. So, before the sun was up, he was out of bed and prepared to face the day head on.

For once, the kitchen was completely empty as he passed it. He hadn't been planning on eating anything yet but if he stopped by to make sure there was a pot of coffee brewing before anyone got up that morning, well that was no one's business... He was just being considerate of the team, after all.

Bucky was immediately hit with a pleasant breeze when he opened the door to the roof terrace. He could see the beginnings of the first few rays of sunshine, sighing contentedly, he all but threw himself into one of the sun chairs. A yelp startled him into getting back up only to see Clint groaning in pain and holding his arm.

"I cant seem to catch a break." Bucky huffed out a laugh, opting to sit on the chair next to him. "You and me both."

Clint and Bucky shared a look of silent understanding before falling into an easy silence.

It was only when the sun started to peak through the horizon that they began to speak. "We haven't really gotten to speak since you got here, Tony's been keeping you all to himself." Clint snorted, noting how Bucky's face fell. "What, trouble in paradise?" The joke fell flat.

Bucky shrugged, trying his hardest to seem indifferent. "Tony doesn't want to speak to me anymore."

"What?" Clint asked disbelievingly, turning his whole body to face Bucky. "Why?" He was defensive now, his best friend wouldn't alienate someone without a valid reason. "He just doesn't feel safe around me now after what happened." Upon Clint's look of horror, he insisted that it was fine.

"It's what I was expecting anyway, as long as he's safe its okay." Clint was looking at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Bucky, do you even remember anything that happened?"

"No, can't really remember much when I'm.." He trailed off.

It's a good thing that he couldn't remember, he would've had Tony's scared face (scared of him) burned into his mind for the rest of time— he was sure. He couldn't bear the mere thought of it. Clint laughed and if Bucky had any fight left in him he'd be offended.

"Tony's never been safer than he was with you that day, you quite literally growled at anyone who even got near him." If Clint hadn't looked as serious as he did, Bucky would've dismissed it as a joke.

"You cradled him in your arms and he didn't exactly seem to mind it... this doesn't make any sense." Clint shook his head, deep in thought.

"When did he tell you this?" Bucky chuckled self deprecatingly.
"He didn't even want to see me, Steve told me yesterday." Clint's eyes narrowed at the name. "But you haven't spoken to Tony himself?" Bucky shook his head.

"But Steve wouldn't lie about that." Bucky said confidently.

Clint grimaced, looking off into the sunrise. "Look, I don't know what Steve used to be like back in the 40's or anything." He started, hesitant to speak his mind.
"But for some time now, he's just been different. I can't place when it started but one day he wasn't himself and he's been this way ever since."
Bucky held his breath, needing to hear more. "I think you feel it too, you guys haven't exactly been the best of pals since he found you."

Bucky lamented the old friendship that they hadn't been able to rekindle. Clint was right, Steve wasn't the same man. Anytime Bucky tried to bond with him he was left feeling as though he were talking to a complete stranger. Bucky had been convinced that it was because of him, he wasn't the same person he was before going under. Now that Clint had said that, however, he knew there was something else going on.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I wouldn't exactly be surprised if Steve was lying to you." Clint admitted.

Bucky racked his mind for any reason Steve would feel the need to lie to him. As if reading his mind, Clint broke Bucky out of his thoughts; "He's an insecure little shit, he's threatened by you." Bucky sputtered at that.

"But Tony and I aren't.." He looked away.

Clint smiled sympathetically. "Look, I'm not dumb or blind and Steve isn't either."

"I would never act on my feelings—"

"Neither would Tony, at least not while he's with that bastard." Bucky couldn't stop himself from gaping at Clint openly. "You mean Tony... I didn't think he..." Bucky couldn't even form the unfathomable words. "Tony quite literally glows when he's with you, I haven't seen him like that in a long time." Clint smiled softly.

Bucky shook his head, refusing to believe he was lucky enough that Tony could possibly feel the same. "He's in love with Steve."
Clint scowled. "You can't possibly think that, Tony looks like he's walking on eggshells whenever he's around." Bucky's head snapped to look at Clint in alarm.

He mulled things over in his head, he didn't know whether he should ask what was weighing him down in his thoughts. He pictured honey-brown eyes and a bright smile, and that was all he needed. He had to make sure Tony was okay.

"Clint... tell me Steve treats him well." Bucky's implication hung heavy in the air. Clint sighed deeply, deciding that Bucky needed to know.
"I think Tony needs help." Bucky ran his hands through his hair, yanking it painfully.

"Jesus fucking Christ."

Bucky could only listen and clench his shaking fists as Clint recalled the past months. By the time he was done, Bucky was buzzing to jump out of his seat and beat the living hell out of the man he had once regarded as his best friend.

"Bucky." Clint knew what Bucky was thinking (he had wanted to do the same long ago) and was quick to grab his arm before he could do anything reckless.

"You're not helping Tony when your judgement is clouded like this." Bucky closed his eyes, realizing that he was right. He took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "We have to do something, Clint. God knows what happens behind closed doors." Bucky's throat constricted at the last few words.

"I know, but we have to think this through. Beating the shit out of our captain seems like a good idea now but what happens next?" Bucky shook his head helplessly.

"Does anyone else know?" If Steve had mistreated Tony publicly, then surely the team must have caught on. "I think some of them suspect something's going on, but I think most of them just chalk it down to Tony self sabotaging. He's never really been the best at relationships." Bucky let out a string of colorful words, because what the fuck? Bucky was enraged at all of them, frankly. How could this happen under the noses of literal superheroes?

"Look— I think the best thing to do is to keep an eye out for tangible proof. In the meantime you should try to talk to Tony, he adores you. I think if he were to talk to anyone about it, it'd be you." Bucky nodded numbly. He hadn't ever felt as useless as he did that very moment, the man he...cared for was in a dangerous situation and he could do nothing. Nothing but wait.

"I trust you with all of this because Tony does." A beat. "And because he's only himself nowadays when he's with you, I can't thank you enough for that." Bucky's lip gave a slight tug despite it all. Clint smiled back and gave his shoulders a few pats, comforting his new friend.

Bucky was already planning on approaching Tony. If he could only get him to admit he was unhappy with Steve, that was all he needed to offer Tony a better life. One where Steve Rogers was out of the picture and possibly rotting in jail where he belonged.

✯✯✯

Tony Stark was miserable.

It had only been one day and he felt as though he had made the wrong choice. Which was crazy, right? He had been with Steve for a year now and he was off thinking about his best friend? Maybe Steve was right, he needed to be reminded of his place.

They were out for dinner, as per Steve's invitation. He was trying, and Tony couldn't help but be touched by it. He couldn't remember the last time they had been out to dinner. Steve had been a proper gentleman all night by opening doors, pulling Tony' s chair out, and even ordering for both of them. The date had gone by wonderfully, without a hitch.
Tony supposed that moments like these were the reason he hadn't called it quits. Steve could make him feel like the only person in the world, it made him feel absolutely insane. He was crazy for ever even doubting his boyfriend, how dare he when things could be this good?

Steve grabbed Tony's hand and stroked it softly before pressing kiss after kiss upon the back of it. "This is nice, right?" Steve's eyes were seeking his approval.
Tony hummed. "Really nice, thank you for taking me out." Steve smirked. "You deserve the best, my love."
My love? That was a new one. Tony brushed it off and smiled at the other man.

Their waitress made her way over to them, fluttering her eyelashes as she had done all night. It was probably a tactic to get a big tip.

"Will you be having any dessert, Sir?" She addressed Steve, seeing as he was the one who had been ordering all night. Steve smiled pleasantly.
"Yes, we'll be having the Tiramisu." Tony frowned at that, which didn't go unnoticed by Steve.

"What's the matter?" He asked when the waitress had left. "I thought you didn't like Tiramisu." Tony answered.

They had been at the very same restaurant when they begun dating and Tony had roped Steve into trying the dessert, claiming he needed to expand his palette. Steve's sour face after taking a single bite showed his distaste for it, they had both dissolved into a fit of laughter afterwards and decided to get ice cream across the street instead.

Steve shrugged easily. "People change, I suppose."

Before Tony could question him further, Steve squeezed his hand and made him forget everything in the world with his next words; "You amaze me Tony Stark, you are truly a wonder and you're all mine." Steve's eyes darkened, was it lust or something else?

"Say it." He requested—demanded more like.
"Say, what?" Tony asked. "That you're mine." Steve smiled, which prompted Tony to laugh genuinely because he hadn't been expecting that.

"Bucky, of course I'm yours."
Steve's face dropped, just as Tony's hand from his grip.

Tony (not expecting Steve to suddenly let go) let his hand fall onto the table with a painful thud. But he was unexplainably numb, he couldn't feel anything. He didn't understand why Steve was looking at him like that all of a sudden, they were having the perfect night. Why couldn't they ever just have a normal moment together, what had happened now?

The feeling in his hand started to creep in slowly, the dull pain hit just as realization did.

Oh.

Oh.

Tony's hand flew to his mouth. "Steve." He whispered, mortified at his mistake. Because that's exactly what it was, an innocent mistake. He had just been thinking of him, is all. It's not like Tony wanted it to be Bucky across from him.

"I swear it was—" Steve didn't let him finish. "Don't." He hissed just as the waitress had come over with their dessert. "We'll have that to go, bring the check as well." Steve didn't take his eyes off of Tony as he spoke. The next few moments were the longest of Tony's life, he could only sit and dread what was to come.

The service, efficient as ever, was too quick for Tony's liking. Before he knew it the bill was paid and they were out the door, the tiramisu forgotten on the table.
Tony nodded at his driver before getting into the limo that had been waiting for them.

He was facing the other way, collecting himself before the argument that would surely ensue.
The door clicked shut and Tony turned to face his consequences head on, but his vision was suddenly clouded and a sharp pain bloomed on the side of his face.
Steve had hit him.

Tony clutched his eye that he knew would bruise soon. "How dare you embarrass me like that?"

"You've ruined a perfect evening, just because you've decided to be a whore for a man you barely know." Curse words still sounded so foreign on Steve's lips.
Tony couldn't muster up any words, he got the feeling that he wasn't supposed to answer.

He had been hurt much worse during battle. Hell, he had almost died. The pain he was feeling wasn't what mattered, it was that the man who was supposed to love him had caused it.

The ride was spent in silence after that and once they came to a stop in front of the compound, Steve started collecting Tony up in his arms. He stroked his head and muttered that he hoped he wouldn't have to do that again. Tony couldn't bring himself to protest, he simply welcomed the comfort he needed at the moment. Both because he was slightly terrified of what would happen if he didn't, and because he wanted to pretend that nothing happened.

It had happened though, and that was something he couldn't avoid any longer. Steve wasn't the same man and Tony Stark was growing sick of the mere idea of a future with the new him.

Chapter Text

"Would you pass the asparagus, please?" Tony muttered, barely coherent. Even so, Clint heard him and reached over the table for the container. Tony didn't know if Clint sat next to him because the seat next to Pietro was already occupied by Sam or if he was worried about him.

He found he didn't really care why, just that he had an arm to lean on—quite literally. He was slumped on his best friend as he mostly eyed at his food that looked horribly unappetizing, it had been Vision's night to cook. Tony was only eating dinner because he didn't want to be alone down in his lab. Pathetic, huh.

Tony scanned the table, noting the missing avenger. "He's not here." Clint whispered smugly. Tony hummed, pretending not to know who Clint was referring to.
"What are you talking about?" Clint humored him.

"Buck. He caught wind that Vis was cooking and decided to sit this one out."

Tony suppressed a smile. "Smart."
He shook off any thoughts of Bucky, remembering his latest night out with a shudder.

Steve had left a few hours ago to go on a very brief solo mission, it was intended for a single Avenger. So, naturally, the captain had been the first choice. Tony couldn't bring himself to feel the slightest bit of guilt at the overwhelming relief that he felt as soon as Steve had been out the door. He could finally breathe.

The next few days without him were sure to bring Tony the break he needed.

"You sleepy, Tones?" Clint patted Tony's unruly hair affectionately.

He was exhausted. He hadn't slept all night, fearing the person who slept next to him. What he might do and who he was becoming. No one could know that though, so he lied.

"Nah, just miss Steve already."

Clint took a bite of his chicken to avoid replying.

"Yes, we all miss him." Natasha's voice prompted Tony to lift his head, confused by the random comment. "You're not the only one who cares about him, you know."

Tony couldn't school his face into indifference, he was beyond insulted and there was no hiding that. Clint straightened in his chair, squeezing Tonys thigh reassuringly under the table.

"Is there something you want to say, Natasha?" Clint asked, raising an eyebrow in silent challenge.
Natasha paused in surprise, not having anticipated Clint to step in.

"I just think Tony should be considerate, is all. We'll all miss Steve these next few days, you don't hear us whining about it."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Clint's startlingly angry voice shocked everyone. Natasha and Clint had never come to blows before.

The table was completely silent in anticipation.

"Do you really want to do this with me, Clint?" Natasha eyed Tony silently as if to say: 'Over him?'

Clint stroked the nape of Tony's neck, grounding him. "You're the one creating unwanted problems. Honestly, never knew you were the melodramatic type."

Natasha paused, indignant and eyes ablaze. "Reconsider where your loyalties lie." Clint looked at her with unwaveringly stern face.

Just as Clint was about to fire back Tony's collected voice regarded her instead.

"I don't know where this is coming from or what your deal with Steve is, but let's get one thing clear."
Though upset, he held himself gracefully and concealed his voice from the anger he was feeling.

"I'm dating Steve. Have been for over a year, so it's not a new development. You have no place in my relationship or the way I talk about Steve."

He continued to hold eye contact with her as he pushed his plate forward and stood up from the table. Tony was done taking that treatment.

"You can miss him all you want, but that's all you get to do."

He paused on his way out, turning to her with a bright grin. "And please, feel free to keep kissing his ass. I'm the one fucking him."
Everyone's eyes followed Tony's retreating form, too stunned to do anything else. It was like a switch had been turned on and Tony was acting more like... Tony. Relentless, hot-headed, stubborn Tony. Bruce hid a smile behind his wine glass.

Clint suppressed a grin of his own to avoid any further altercations, he decided to follow and comfort his best friend instead. "Well, as fun as this has been, I think I'll take my leave too." He placed both his and Tony's plates in the sink before stepping into the hall. As he passed by endless pale walls, he couldn't help but think about Tony. He had been holding out for the day that Tony stopped being so selfless—it wasn't in his nature.

Whoever didn't like Tony for him simply didn't deserve to have him in their lives. As far as he was concerned, his best friend was one of the best people in the planet. It was a mystery how anyone rarely saw that.

But Bucky Barnes had. He was the last push Tony needed, Clint was sure of it.
Tony could've done it on his own, he was confident of that. Help was just always nice to have, and Tony had been strong for too long. It was about time someone was strong for him.

Clint's musings came to an abrupt stop when he felt the unmistakable sudden breeze of Pietro's speed.
He sighed loudly, head tilting back. "Pietro, I can't do this right now. I have somewhere to be." It wasn't a lie, he wanted to check on Tony.

"Oh, no— of course. Wouldn't want to keep you from Tony." Pietro's voice was weirdly taut.
Clint narrowed his eyes and whirled around to face the other man, who was stiff and had his arms crossed.

"Just what are you getting at?" Clint's teeth pressed together, more than a little agitated. "Nothing, I just didn't know how close you two were. Would've been nice to know." Pietro was openly mad and it took all Clint had in him to not completely lose it.

He wasn't the the one who had been all over another teammate for months, and Pietro was mad at him for simply being kind to his friend.

"What are you on about? Tony and I are just..." Clint trailed off during his heated attempt at an explanation. "You know what?" Clint took a few step backs, shaking his head in resignation. "I'm done."

Pietro gave him an unimpressed look, waiting for Clint to elaborate. "This," Clint gestured between them. "Whatever this is, I'm not doing it anymore." It was almost comical how fast Pietro's expression changed.

When Pietro didn't say anything, (far too taken aback) Clint continued; "I'm so tired of this back and forth, it's exhausting."

"I've been waiting around months for you to choose between me and Sam." Clint's voice rose a bit with emotion towards the end, the suppressed feelings he had been harboring over time finally rising to the surface. "So I'll make this easy on everyone and pick for you."

Finally revealing how he felt did nothing to alleviate the strain in his chest, Clint knew the beginnings of heartbreak all too well.
"I really hope you're happy together." And with those last sincere words, he turned on his heel and walked away.

Only, he didn't get far before he felt himself being whisked away. The next thing he knew he was being manhandled and put down in Pietro's room.
"Clint, please. Can you just listen to what I have to say?"

When Clint began to protest Pietro cut in exasperatedly. "You promised me we would talk."
Clint was a man of his word, so he took a seat on the corner on the bed. "Before anything I'd just like to say that a little warning before you pick me up and run like a maniac would be nice." Pietro managed a weak laugh. He then sat next to Clint so closely their legs were touching.

"I'm sorry." Pietro started, wringing his hands on his lap nervously. "I'm sorry for what I've done to you and..." He swallowed. "And Sam. I've messed with your feelings and neither of you deserved that." Pietro's voice and accent grew thicker with every word. "But I need you to know that there was never a choice. I never wanted Sam, I only ever wanted you."

Clint's breath hitched at the confession. Pietro was crying now, convinced that he'd sabotaged himself and any chance he might've had.
"I played along with Sam to get a reaction out of you and maybe get you to make a move, but I ended up hurting you both."

Clint let the new information sink in, thinking it all through. He spoke after a moment of silence. "Does Sam know all of this?"
Pietro nodded. "We talked about it for hours. I had no idea he was serious about me, but we stayed friends in the end." Clint nodded slowly, overwhelmed by the situation.

"Sam chose to forgive me but I understand if you don't, I just needed you to know how I feel."

The silence was too much for Pietro to bear, he'd much rather have Clint yell and scream at him. "I was dumb and immature and I'm sorry."
Clint turned his head and smirked at him. "You said that already." Pietro shrunk into himself.

"Well, it's true. I'm sorr—" Clint clasped his hand over Pietro's mouth.

"Ah, ah, ah. You're not allowed to say that anymore." Clint let go and began to wipe away Pietro's tears instead. "It's okay... well not really, you're still an asshole." Pietro laughed meekly, despite himself. "But at least you're an asshole that wants me."

Pietro agreed vehemently. "I do want you, more than anything." Pietro straddled Clint and hugged him tightly. He was so very undeserving of such mercy but grateful to have it. Clint hugged back with just as much strength, relieved that the complicated state of their relationship was no more. Instead, there was something much simpler and sweet it its place.

"You ever pull some shit like that again— it'll be a different story." Pietro nodded against Clint's shoulder. "How could you ever forgive me?" Pietro whispered, dazed.

"Because you're the only one I've ever wanted, too." Pietro's heart stuttered. "I swear, Tony is just my best friend."
"I know." Pietro's lip gave a weak tug. "Like I said, I'm just an idiot." He shrugged.

Clint pushed Pietro away enough to be able to see his face. "A really hot idiot." Clint said solemnly, as if it were devastatingly unfortunate.
"Clint!" Pietro laughed loudly, shaking his head.

They were still laughing as they leaned in to kiss away any doubts that might be lingering among them.

Yes, this was very much worth the wait.

✯✯✯

Tony was still fuming by the time he had walked to the last floor. (He had taken the long route to clear his mind)
He never had a reason to believe that Steve was being unfaithful to him, but Natasha's outburst had made him doubt everything he was once sure about.

Frankly, he wasn't possessive over Steve one bit. Not anymore. Natasha could have Steve, she could have the man she so desperately wanted.
Tony was just disgusted that she would disrespect him in front of everyone over a man that he was dating. He was done being a people pleaser.

He was Tony Stark, he lived to please himself.

Tony found himself wishing he was in Miami, he had a nice house there. Maybe one of these days he could hightail out of the tower and disappear for a few weeks.
For now, his lab was enough of an escape. As he was approaching the doors, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Bucky was leaning against the double doors, arms crossed and a stubborn look on his face. He must've been waiting for hours, Tony hadn't been in his lab all day.
"Knew you'd come here sooner or later." Bucky said, standing up without so much as a single grunt.

When Tony didn't respond Bucky took a few steps towards him and nodded to the workshop. "Tony, please let me in." Bucky spoke softly, as if to not startle him into running away. The double meaning in what Bucky said had his head spinning.

Instead of deciphering it right then, Tony opted to open the lab doors for Bucky.

That was a start.

Chapter Text

Tony kept his hands busy by clearing off his desk, which was littered with all sorts of blueprints from old projects. Bucky was bombarded with attention the moment he crossed the threshold.
Dum-E and U were ecstatic to see Bucky again, if their incessant beeps and erratic movements were any indicators.

Bucky was just as pleased to see them; he spoke his greetings and made sure to give both of them the scratches they were seeking. Tony couldn't suppress a smile, they were like domesticated animals.

"I've missed you guys." Tony felt a surge of guilt at that.

Tony had intended to avoid the conversation as long as possible, but he could only organize so much before he ran out of things to do. He looked up warily to see Bucky looking right back at him.

"Can we talk?" Tony had only ever heard such insecurity in his voice when he had requested plums the night they first met. That seemed like so long ago, five months had passed since then.

It was daunting that Bucky was one of the few people who knew him best, and that it had happened in an incredibly short window of time.

They both opened up about their past traumas and bonded over their pain. Tony wasn't expecting Bucky to share much about his experience as the Winter Soldier. Then again, he hadn't expected himself to share much either.

Words were endless when shared with him, much like the unwavering support Bucky had provided through it all.

Tony hummed affirmatively, not trusting his voice just yet. Bucky walked forward uncertainly, making sure Tony was comfortable having him so close.

Tony's hands were itching to touch the other man. Bucky looked so very sad. He wanted to comfort him, to apologize and explain everything.
His tactile nature won in the end and he surged forward, immediately being enveloped in the warm embrace he had deprived himself of for too long.

Bucky took it in stride, resting his cheek on Tony's head. Tony was a fool for ever thinking he could give this up.

"I'm sorry." Tony didn't elaborate, because he had everything to be sorry for.

"So it's not true?" Bucky asked brokenly.

"You're not scared of me?"

With much effort, Tony drew back to look at Bucky in confusion. "What, no. Of course not." Tony assured him hastily.

He sputtered uselessly, baffled.

Bucky, thankfully, continued to fill the silence.

"This whole time I've been so worried." Bucky was looking down, much too overwhelmed with the truth. Tony stroked Bucky's arm comfortingly.

"Worried about what, Buckaroo?" Bucky scoffed with no real heat at the ridiculous nickname.

"About you hating me, I couldn't take that."
Tony ran a soothing hand down Bucky's unkept scruffy cheek.

"Well, you don't have to worry anymore. I could never hate you." Tony realized just how true that was. There wasn't even anything about Bucky he disliked, much less hated.

He knew and accepted all of him, including the Winter Soldier. Which is why he couldn't fathom how in the world Bucky was led to believe such a thing. What was going on?

"That's not the only thing I was worried about." Bucky replied honestly.

Tony looked at him expectantly, allowing him the chance to speak. "I worry about you, Tony." He was frowning now, because hadn't they just gone over this?
"I already told you that I don't ha-"

"That's not what I mean." Bucky interrupted, a devastated look etched on his handsome features.

"Does Steve treat you right?" Tony nodded immediately once he processed the question, as if defending his lover were a natural instinct.
"He does, Bucky—why... why are you asking me this? Has the team been saying things?" Tony looked panicked at the prospect.

"No, sugar. They haven't been saying anything about you, I've just noticed some things these past few months is all." His tone was all smooth edges, effectively easing Tony's nerves if only a little bit.

"What's there to notice?" Tony deflected easily. Bucky saw through him, of course. How he refused to even prod at the subject, presumably in fear. Why was Tony so adamant on protecting Steve?
"Tony." He pulled him impossibly closer, silently willing for the truth to be revealed.

"I don't deserve you or the kindness you've shown me." Bucky continued on, ignoring Tony's shocked words of protest. "And I sure as hell don't deserve your friendship and trust." Tony frowned deeply. If anyone was undeserving of the beautiful bond they had nurtured together— it was him.
A self destructive man who was only a shell of what he used to be. He was so consumed in his relationship, determined to not let it crumble under the unbelievable pressure, that it had become his sole identity.

What could James Barnes possibly want from him when he had nothing left to give?

"But I'm asking you to please be honest with me right now." Tony was sure that the solid arms around him were the only thing keeping him together.

"Please." Bucky pleaded.
Tony couldn't bear it, not when he knew he was the reason Bucky was in distress.

"Okay." He whispered
He'd been vulnerable with Bucky countless times before and yet, he was anxious beyond belief knowing what Bucky wanted to talk about.
Bucky pulled away, grabbing Tony's shaking hands in his. "Have you eaten yet?"

Tony blinked back at him, taken aback by the sudden change of topic. "I know Vision cooked tonight so you must be starving." Bucky cracked a painful smile that Tony couldn't help reciprocating.

"Might as well talk over food."

.

That's how they ended up sprawled out on Tony's leather couch, both nursing incredibly greasy slices of pizza as though they were a delicacy.
Bucky gave a weak laugh upon hearing Tony's obscene moans when he took another generous bite.

"I haven't had real food in ages, just Dum-E's god awful smoothies." Bucky's eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"And why's that?"
Tony paused mid bite, suddenly self conscious. Why was it that Tony over shared every time he was with James?

He shrugged nonchalantly, putting the pizza crust on the nearly empty cardboard box. "Guess it's just convenient not having to leave the workshop."

Bucky sighed, mirroring Tony and putting down his food as well. "You should take better care of yourself, Tony."

Tony didn't reply, only  hummed in acknowledgment.

"I only want what's best for you." Bucky's voice was meaningful, genuine. "On that note.." He cleared his throat and rearranged himself on the couch.

Tony braced himself for the hard hitting questions and concerns he couldn't avoid any longer.
"You know I'll always stick by you no matter what, right?" Tony nodded wordlessly. Though, he didn't completely believe it. Steve was Bucky' best friend after all.

When it all came to a head, Tony knew Bucky would always choose Steve.
Bucky look of complete earnest, however, was making him doubt everything he was once sure of. Could it be possible, would he let himself fall into the menacing clutches of hope? Tony decided he would take a leap.

"Do you know what my first impression of you was?" Tony gave him a questioning look.

"As vain as it sounds, the first thing I thought was that you were beautiful." Bucky said boldly. Tony's mouth was suddenly dry. "And then when you asked everyone to give me space, I knew you understood how overwhelmed I was feeling. You saw me." The memory crossed Tony's mind and he remembered his own inappropriate thoughts from that night.

How Tony he had been so horrified at himself for thinking what he did. He had been so paranoid Steve would find out about them— which was just ludicrous. Because how could Steve have found out about his thoughts? The inner ramblings on a man with a guilty conscience, Tony supposed.

"I remember watching the people around me, trying to adjust here. I watched you with Steve." A beat.
"And how you waited a little too long to respond when he spoke to you, how you reeled in the sarcastic comments that I know were on the tip of your tongue, how you smiled more and talked less." Tony couldn't help the hot tears that had traitorously escaped.

For the better part of a year he thought no one had noticed. If no one had picked up a difference in their dynamic then surely it was because there hadn't been one. It was just all in Tony's head and Steve was treating him just fine. That's what he had told himself over and over again.

"How you weren't Tony Stark around him." Bucky whispered. He couldn't stand the sight of the other man crying, he reached over and pulled a complaint Tony against his chest. "I see you, too."

Tony felt a rush of warmth at the words because he knew this is what genuine love was. It was what his friends showed him everyday, and he had still managed to misconstrue it with the warped version Steve believed it to be.

"I'm here to listen if you're willing to talk." Bucky said nothing else, pressuring him no further.

Tony gave himself time to recover from his mortifying emotional breakdown. He realized that his attempts were pointless as the tears kept coming. Bucky didn't mind, he only helped in Tony's efforts to wipe them away.

"He's only done it once." Tony admitted, rising from the other's arms and wincing when he felt the sharp pain of an incoming headache.

"Done what?" Tony looked down at his hands that were calloused and grimy from the remnants on his projects. If he looked at Bucky he wouldn't be able to say it.
"Hit me." He breathed, shocked at his own admission. It was finally out, it made Tony feel lighter and heavier at the same time.

Bucky tensed and his jaw clenched— but he had to keep it together for Tony. "When did it happen?"
Tony didn't like to think about it, he had just recently been able to go into shared living spaces regularly again when his bruise healed.

"Two weeks ago, I think." Tony sniffed, getting caught in the memory of it once again. "We went out for dinner and I... said something that I wasn't supposed to." Tony paused, flushed. "It was like someone turned on a switch or something. He took me back to the car after that." Tony didn't elaborate, not that he needed to. The implication hung hard and heavy in the air.

Bucky felt sick to his stomach, what could Tony have said that would trigger such a violent reaction? Why had Tony stayed with the monster that Steve Rogers had become? Most of all, how had Steve managed to date a living version of the sun and treat him this way? There was no justifiable answer— Bucky saw red.

His breaths came out ragged, Steve was lucky to be on a mission because there's no telling what Bucky would've done had he been in the building.
"Buck?" Normally, Tony's voice would've grounded him. But he couldn't even think straight, his stomach churned unpleasantly.

"I just need a moment." Bucky pressed his hands into his eyes, shame burning in his stomach. There he was, trying to keep it together himself when Tony was the one who needed comforting. He took in shaky breaths, eyes brimming with frustrated tears. Why had he waited so long to ask Tony about his suspicions?
He'd convinced himself it was just paranoia, that Steve would never hurt Tony.

He had been very wrong and Tony continued to suffer in turn.

Bucky looked up, meeting Tony's sad eyes. "Why are you still with him, Tony?" Bucky asked miserably, wiping at his eyes.
Tony shrugged. "I told you it's only ever happened once." Tony continued before Bucky could reply; "And when it's good... it's really good. He just gets really mad sometimes when— well I don't know what sets him off. He makes me feel insane." Tony finished, his thoughts all scrambled. Because how could he even begin to describe what his relationship with Steve was like?

"Sweetheart..." Tony braced himself for what Bucky would say. Surely he was going to tell him that he probably was insane. "That's abuse." There was no sugar coating the cold truth. "Abuse isn't just physical, Tony. If he's affecting you this much emotionally and making you feel insane because of his mood changes, that's not okay." Tony blinked at him blankly with wet lashes.

"Doll, listen to me. You don't deserve this, you deserve someone who'll always treat you right. Someone that loves you, because what you and Steve have isn't love." Tony couldn't contain the fresh set of tears that slid down his cheeks. Because although he knew now that he wasn't in love with Steve (not anymore, at least) they had loved each other before. He grieved the connection they once shared. Tony couldn't have pictured a life without him a few months ago, now he couldn't a picture a life that he was in.

"I just don't understand why he's like this now. It's like one day he was a completely different person and I kept waiting for the man I fell in love with."
Bucky nodded empathetically. "I know, doll. But you have to understand that this isn't good for you. You can't keep waiting around for someone who's never going to come back. He's hurting you, he's hurting you and I'm so scared." Bucky admitted, voice rising emotionally.

Tony delved back into Bucky's protective arms, and they found comfort in each other. Bucky cradled him close, as if he were the most precious thing.
As he lay there in Bucky's embrace and drew strength from him, he whispered words he hadn't uttered since he was a kid. "I'm scared, too."

They were scared of what was to come together, but Tony could only hope that perhaps it would be okay. That they would be okay.

Chapter Text

"You're killing me, Barnes."
Tony couldn't stop his voice from coming out as a petulant whine. Bucky's lips formed into a soft smirk.

"S'not my fault you have the worst poker face." Tony scoffed halfheartedly as he pushed his chair back, putting distance between himself and the game table, decidedly done.

Bucky had managed to beat him in every board game known to man, at first Tony's competitive nature compelled him to keep attempting. As the games progressed though, he grew worn down. He groaned exaggeratedly and slouched back into his chair, much to Bucky's amusement.

They both allowed silence to fall over them, relaxing back into their chairs and enjoying the warmth that cascaded down into the balcony.

The past few days had been bittersweet.
All he had really needed to come to accept the situation he was in was a person who cared enough to help guide him through it. Bucky definitely softened the blow of it all and made sure to keep him out of his head throughout the day. His consideration and complete selflessness were strange but welcome. The feeling of validation after many conflicting months was so incredibly gratifying.

Tony would most likely never know why Steve had changed so much or why their relationship had taken such a tumultuous turn— and he was okay with that. For the first time in a long time, he realized the only thing that was left for him to do was walk away. It had taken a long time to accept that he couldn't keep their relationship afloat by sheer willpower alone, especially when Steve was the only person he'd ever envisioned a future with. He'd move on though.

Steve wouldn't control him or his life any longer, he was a person with desires and inhibitions that would not be squashed by the likes of him.

That train of thought led him to the question that had been consuming his mind lately. He'd wanted to ask Bucky about it but felt it was better to let things settle for a bit before broaching the topic a second time.

"James?" He managed, treading the subject slowly. Bucky hummed in question, smiling at him and squinting at the brilliant sunlight. Bucky looked ethereal like this— the sun blinding behind him, cheeks rosy as he smiled that damned smile.

"When.. the other day.." Tony cleared his throat, reorganizing his thoughts. "The other day in the lab, you said something about Steve." He finished lamely; voice having grown far too coarse to continue. Bucky nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I think I mentioned the bastard once or twice." Tony snorted, grateful for the ice breaker. "You said Steve told you I was scared of you." He held his breath.

"We've talked about this, Tony." Bucky deflected easily. "It doesn't matter what he told me, I know you're not—" But Tony wasn't listening anymore.

"So, it was him." He whispered, sitting back in his chair. Bucky paused, confused, when suddenly it dawned on him. "I never told you it was Steve." He sighed.

Tony remained silent, stuck in the mess that was his mind. "It ain't nice to trick an old man, Tony." He didn't respond.

Bucky allowed him time to process the new information. He looked down at his lemonade that was rapidly growing lukewarm, twirling the straw absentmindedly. He hadn't wanted Tony to know Steve had lied to him and led him to believe Tony resented him. Namely because he wasn't sure if he was ready to face the implications of it. In the end, it all led back to him and his stupid suffocating feelings for the man across from him.

Finally, Tony spoke again.  "Why would he tell you that?" He looked at Bucky, eyes almost accusatory. "I don't know." Bucky muttered and shrugged. "Maybe he really did think you were scared." Tony frowned, straightening in his seat.

"Bucky, please cut the shit."

"I mean as far as I know." Bucky defended, sticking to his narrative. "Why else would you avoid me for days on end?" Tony chewed on his lip nervously, he had known that was bound to be brought up eventually. "Answer me first, James."

Bucky opened his mouth to answer when Tony interjected. "The truth this time."

He sighed again. "Look, Tony.. I'm not really sure." Tony raised a sharp eyebrow, disbelieving. "I talked it over with Clint because I didn't understand it either."
Tony stilled at that. "Clint knows?" Bucky frowned sympathetically. "Clint's known for a while, sweetheart. I suspected something was wrong for a while, but he was the one who convinced me to do something about it." Tony swallowed the feelings creeping up his throat.

"He thought Steve was just trying to keep me away from you." Bucky admitted, watching Tony's reaction. The man looked back at him emotionally, a stark difference to the blank face that he'd just had. "Why would he do that?" Tony asked quietly, stare intense and non-wavering.

A strangled noise rose from Bucky's mouth. "I think you know why, Tony." He shook his head reverently and reached over to put his hand on top of Bucky's. "Tell me."

Bucky breathed in shakily, steeling himself. Even then, he couldn't break the eye contact with Tony. It's as if he were being compelled to tell the truth as he was sucked into Tony's eyes. "Because he knows how I feel about you." Bucky could've sworn his heart stopped beating at that very moment.

"James." Tony whispered, a simple desperate plea for him to elaborate. He needed it like he needed air, he was certain he'd never breathe again if the truth wasn't revealed at long last. How long had they been leading up to this? Dancing around each other but never daring to believe the other felt the same way.

Bucky's face contorted into a conflicted mess. Was he really going to do this? No, it was far too soon. Tony had just come to terms with the fact that his relationship was as good as dead. It wouldn't be appropriate, especially when Bucky was the one that had guided him through it all. The last thing he wanted was for Tony to feel as though he owed him anything.

On the other hand, didn't Tony deserve the answer when he was pleading to know?

Tony's hand squeezed his tightly, he could feel it shaking. Bucky made his decision in a split second.

"I think I might be a little in love with you."

He held his breath.

Tony exhaled shakily, hesitating to even believe he had heard right. The only thing keeping him from falling apart was Bucky's solid hand in his. "Oh."

A beat.

Bucky nodded solemnly. "Now you know." He said quietly. "But that doesn't have to change anything, I will always be your friend." Tony shook his head at that. Bucky's heart dropped.

"I get it." He whispered, crestfallen. "I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't want things to change like this. I'll just—" Tony was quick to shut the self deprecating spiel down. "James, stop talking." Bucky's mouth snapped shut.

Tony smiled at him reassuringly, all soft and flushed. How was this real? Wasted time chasing after something that wasn't real, a foolish fantasy.
It felt so obvious now, the feelings encompassing his every sense were so pure. Tony didn't need to worry whether Bucky would be the same the next day, he just knew. He wouldn't fret over changing his not so favorable qualities, because that's what Bucky loved about him the most. As a genius, he thought he'd have this love thing figured out by his forty's.

Tony barely contained a smile. "I'm not upset, James." The use of Bucky's first name during this conversation felt so intimate. He took a breath, steadying himself for the topic he was about to dive into. "I guess I owe you my explanation then."

"After the mission gone wrong, Steve pulled me into our bedroom." He began, voice rising from having to relive the terrible memory. "He demanded that I stop talking to you and for a really scary moment— I thought he'd somehow read every single thought I'd had about you since we met." Bucky traced along Tony's hands, soothing the anxiety he knew was coursing through him.
"That he somehow knew how much I fucking adore you." Bucky couldn't help the relieved laugh that escaped him. "And I guess he did.. so I avoided you because I thought it was the right thing to do." Tony revealed apologetically.

"But the truth is I—"

Bucky reached out to faintly touch Tony's mouth, halting the confession. "No." He frowned regrettably. "Not like this." Shaking his head, he seized Tony's hands and kissed them repeatedly. "I want this—you. So bad" He reassured, aware of Tony's ability to get into his own head like no one else could.

"But I want you to be absolutely sure, and I want you to give yourself some time to think about it. Maybe this isn't what you need right now, doll." Tony looked down at the wooden table and groaned. He felt like child again, feeling unbelievable frustration build up because of how badly he wanted and could not have. Not yet.

Really, how was this fair? He had silently longed for the feeling of security his whole life and he'd finally found it in the form of a wonderful man. It felt as though it had all led up to this— nothing. To think all this incessant waiting was partly because of Steve, a man he'd used to trust with his life who had ended up hurting him so irrevocably that he was scared to love again. But he'd take the leap, he'd do it for Bucky because something told him he'd never love again.

"Baby, look at me." Tony looked up, embarrassed as the words he'd so desperately wanted to say burned the back of his throat— fighting to be heard.
"I promise the way I feel about you won't change overnight, yeah? I'll be waiting, for however long you need me to." He smiled, nudging Tony's hand.

Tony gave a faint smile back; he understood as much as he didn't like it. "Yeah, okay." His voice was weak, Bucky must've taken pity on him and gestured for him to come over. Tony stood on shaky legs and only managed a couple steps before all but collapsing into Bucky's arms.

They hugged fiercely, Tony could've cried at the lingering kiss that was pressed onto his forehead. "Our time will come."

Tony nodded. Normally he'd be scared of the way he trusted so blindly, but this was Bucky. For the first time in his life, he didn't think of the possible negative outcomes. He simply allowed himself to trust and fall deeper for the man he'd come to need more than anything else.

It was a few hours later, well into the night, when Tony braved through his anxiety and offered an invitation.
"There's this.. gala thing in a few days." Tony muttered against Bucky's neck. "A memorial for my dearest father that is being arranged." He huffed. "Pepper roped me into making an appearance. Would you maybe.. want to come as my date?" Bucky contemplated it. Steve would be livid. A pissed off Steve Rogers was bound to be a disaster.

As if reading his thoughts, Tony rushed to add: "Steve isn't set to come back from his mission until next week. Plus, I'm betting it'd be much more fun with you anyway."

"Tony Stark going to his old man's memorial willingly?" Bucky asked, a teasing edge to his voice. Tony smirked. "Ah, well. That's why I need you, Soldier." Tony looked up at him and ran a hand down his chest. Bucky's breath hitched and Tony reveled in the reaction. "I need someone to take care of me, what will I do at my that old bastard's memorial all alone and surrounded by all those leeches who worshipped the ground he walked on?" He pouted exaggeratedly.

Bucky rolled his eyes at Tony's dramatics and tousled his curls while he thought. Was the public outing really worth the media frenzy that was sure to ensue after their appearance? Word was bound to get back to Steve. "I promise I'll make it worth your while." Bucky smiled fondly. Really, how could he say no to that?

"I'm countin' on it, Sugar."

"Is that a, yes?" Tony asked hopefully.

"As long as we don't have to wear matching suits." Tony cringed at the idea. "We have a deal."

Bucky grinned. "Okay."

Tony slumped against him once more, and with every second that passed he grew more aware of the way he was allowing himself to feel again. How he'd missed it.