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"1. You're hot. 2. I'm hot," Nat Fyfe read aloud from his sheet of paper.
Ellyse Perry laughed and shook her head. "I don't need any more reasons to go out with you," she said.
Nat put his piece of paper down. "Okay," he said, unsure of how to proceed from here. He usually started off every date listing his best attributes. "Have you ever done a Myers Briggs test? Apparently I'm an introverted extrovert."
"Okay..." Ellyse said, uncertainly. "How does that work?"
"Maybe it explains why I need to be the face of my club, seek all the attention, but live a private life," Nat said, shrugging.
"I think I'm just an introvert," Ellyse replied.
"Okay," Nat said, racking his brain for more conversation topics. "I've seen Tame Impala live about 5 times." He beamed proudly.
Ellyse raised her eyebrows. "I didn't pick you for an indie fan," she said, impressed, "What's your favourite song?"
"The Freo song," Nat said, without hesitation.
"Don't know it," Ellyse said, shaking her head.
Nat sang a few bars of it, his voice impeccable and on point.
"Didn't know so many words could rhyme with freo," Ellyse commented.
Their main meals arrived, Nat digging into his tuna mornay while Ellyse tried to ignore the fishy smell and focused on her steak.
"This is so amazing," Nat moaned through a mouthful, tuna and cheese dripping from his mouth.
He's Nat Fyfe, Ellyse reminded herself, the King of Perth. The greatest footballer to grace this world.
"You know, there's too much faffing in cricket," Nat mused, eating a whole forkful of tuna. "Just get on with it."
Before the date could get any worse, Nat's phone rang and he pulled it out. "Yeah hi I'm eating tuna mornay," Nat said turning speaker on and placing his phone on the table.
"Gross," came the voice on the other end. "Anyway, Nat, come quick, I need your help getting my fishing gear on the plane to Queensland. We're going back into hubs."
"Ben, how many times have I told you? You can't fish in the hubs," Nat scolded, rolling his eyes.
"Then I can't go," Ben said, resigned.
"Alright, alright, I'll come," Nat said, throwing his fork down reluctantly and pushing the plate away.
"Thank you," Ben said, gratefully.
They hung up and Nat stood up from the table. "Gotta run," he said, and came around the table, closer to Ellyse. He bent down, kissing her full on the mouth with fishy breath.
Ellyse, shocked at first, melted into the kiss, her body warming and her arms wrapped around Nat's neck.
Then Nat was dragging himself away, running out the door, screaming "i love you" in his wake.
"I love you too," Ellyse murmured dreamily, smiling as she thought about the magic of their kiss.
Nat Fyfe: is there anything he can't do?