Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

At this point, you people should know what your getting into. It's Helluva Boss, I DO NOT own it, Vivziepop does, I only own my OCs, and unlike my Hazbin Hotel story, this will be a bit more on the whimsy side than the heart-felt story side. I'm not giving a warning since, again, you picked this story, so you should already know what's coming.

Anyway, the new character's bio is in my OC book (you can find that in my Wattpad, where I'm also writing this story in).

(Thank you Flower Angel (A.K.A. my sister) for letting me use your OC, Jess. I may have made some changes to her, but I pretty sure you'll like it)

*More OCs coming soon*

Thank you for reading and enjoy the story

Chapter Text

In Imp City, a business was being held by the "Immediate Murder Professionals". Blitzø, the boss, was walking by the whiteboard as he talks to his employees. "Alright, now I know business has been a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here. Moxxie".

Moxxie gives a "What the hell?" look to Blitzø, while Jess giggles a bit.

"Now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?", Blitzø continues.

"What about a car wash?", suggests Millie, the female imp, and Moxxie's wife.

"This is hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being cleaned here, okay?", says Blitzø

"Especially since most of them like crashing their cars instead of cleaning them", comments Jess; another female imp, who was Blitzø's old childhood friend.

"Ooh, what about a billboard?", Blitzø suggests next.

"We can't afford a billboard, sir." Moxxie clarifies with his arms crossed.

"Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now". Blitzø states sarcastically before pushing Moxxie away. "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?"

Blitzø turns on a TV that shows all the IMP's brutally decapitating, shocking, and obliteratingly murdering people from the overworld which they were paid to do so. Loona, Millie, Jess, and Blitzø were eating popcorn while watching the TV.

"Ahh, those were the good times", sighs Blitzø.

"Were there any bad ones?", Jess fist bumps him.

"I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches!", Moxxie explains.

"Uh, hey, excuse me. What's 'obnoxious' about a super-fun jingle, all right?", asks Blitzø.

"Nothing. They're mainly just fun distractions when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit no one wants to hear!" Jess states. Blitzø smiles at her and she winks at him.

"People love musicals, sir.", Millie agrees.

"Exactly, Millie. And we're basically doin' a musical". Blitzø then turns to Moxxie. "Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?"

"Sir-"

"'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside." he dramatically states.

"Are you trying to crush his dreams, Moxxie?", Millie teases Moxxie.

"I-- What?"

"I thought I knew you", she sticks her tongue out at him as he blushes. Jess makes an 'aw' face at the couple. They were just really cute with each other when they wanted to be, and even she couldn't hate it.

"I can't believe you, Moxxie, after I made you employee of the month!", Blitzø holds up an employee of the month plaque with a weird picture of Moxxie on it.

"Okay, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!", Moxxie tells him.

"I liked it", Millie claims.

Moxxie points at Millie. "Do not-- Do not agree with him in front of me."

"Hey, I like it too", Jess admits.

Moxxie then gives Jess a 'really?' face. "You're already a lost cause".

*Flashback to the I.M.P. commercial*

"Hi, there! I'm Blitzø! The "O" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!" He gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears. A picture of Blitzø wearing different outfits appears on-screen. "Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to hell, or are you an innocent soul who got fucked over by someone else?!"

The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzø holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!"

"After lovingly killing my wife for fucking a deliveryman, you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here after the state of Ohio killed me. I really wish I could stick it to that yappy jogger who saw me hiding the body."

Blitzø is then speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, while Jess, Moxxie, and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a square.

"Well, luckily for you, thanks to our company's special access to the living world", his eyes narrow as he does a magical gesture with his left hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Jess, Moxxie and Millie are blown out of shot as he walks up to the portal. "we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!" He falls backwards into the portal, like a mosh pit.

The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle plays in the background.

♫When you want somebody gone♫
♫And you don't want to wait too long♫
♫Call the Immediate Murder Professionals♫

A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up. Moxxie, Jess, Blitzø, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. The letter "I" appears to the left of them, while the letter "P" appears on the right of them. The team together forms the letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.

Blitzø, Jess, Moxxie, and Millie are inside their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The team cover where their ears would be as an explosion goes off.

♫Hand grenade or cyanide♫
♫We'll make it look like suicide♫
♫The Immediate Murder Professionals♫

Blitzø is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note. Blitzø is shown electrocuting someone, Jess stabbing someone with a kitchen knife, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.

The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzø creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. He is followed by Jess, Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.

♫We do our job so well, because we come straight up from hell♫

The team comes up through the other end of the portal and adjusts themselves, and then frowns when they see that they teleported to a church as a female preacher and the congregation looks back at the demons in confusion and/or fear.

♫We'll kill your husband or your wife♫
♫We'll even let you keep the knife♫

Millie is shown stabbing a couple who are in 69 position, while Moxxie tries to look away, Jess puking in a doggie bag, and Blitzø examines a pair of panties. In the next scene, Blitzø is stabbing someone's head, while sporting a goofy expression.

A quick sequence then shows the team assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the team are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman from behind.

♫We're the Immediate Murder Profession--♫

Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone. The boy collapses as Moxxie looks on in shock. "I think you missed Moxxie" whispers Jess.

"No shit he missed!", Blitzø tells her.

Blitzø, Jess, Millie, and Moxxie are then waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitzø is reading a magazine, while Millie comforts Moxxie, who looks devastated, and Jess texts Loona on her phone.

The doctor then comes out of the room with a clipboard. "He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. Now what insurance provider do you freaks have?"

Jess gives Blitzø the signal to stay quiet, but he ignores her, making her facepalm. "The fuck is insurance?"

A window outside of the hospital breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, Jess, and Blitzø are holding on for dear life as they plummet to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzø's foot. The rope then snaps and they all continue to fall.

A still shot of the I.M.P. logo is shown for the last part of the commercial.

♫Kids die for freeeeeee!♫

*End Flashback*

Back in the boardroom, Millie and Moxxie are sitting across from Loona, who has her feet up and is watching a video on her phone of Moxxie getting hurt.

"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple", Moxxie points out.

"Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie", Loona tells him.

Moxxie tries to make a comeback and fails. "You sit! Sit on...a-- and the d-- Do your job!"

Jess looks at Moxxie slightly looking upset and places her hand on Loona's shoulder, which she doesn't feel bothered by. "You know, blaming Loona for that is stupid since sometimes you guys don't even know how to do your jobs right and screw up worse her. And by the way, you know you can't make a comeback to what she said".

"Exactly Jess, we don't blame our screwups on Loona. She didn't do anything wrong!". Blitzø hugs and nuzzles Loona, who appears to not like his affection.

"Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful", Moxxie complains.

*Flashback to Loona's moments*

Loona is at her desk, reading a magazine called "Hellhound Monthly". Her desk phone rings with the sound of a cute puppy barking as the ringtone.

"Hello, I.M.P.", Loona answers.

Millie was on phone. "Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox--". Loona suddenly hangs up, disinterested in the conversation.

Next, Loona is in Blitzø's office as he presents her with a gift. "Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little somethin'."

"Is it a cure for syphilis?", she asks.

"I...oh..."

Loona snatches the present and throws it on the floor. "Then I don't want it!". A swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and cover Loona up to her neck. "Ugh!"

Blitzø is suddenly hiding outside of the office window. "I'm sorry, you love spiders."

"God dammit."

Loona is then shown at her desk, watching an online video of Charlie Magne performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow".

Moxxie approaches her with a flyer for 'Chub B Gone'. "Um, excuse me, did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?"

"No", she denies.

"Wha-- Why-why would anyone send me this?"

"Come on, you know why".

Loona is then looking through the break room fridge.

"Whoever left the fucking avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now". Loona turns around to face Millie and Jess with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot. She rips off the lid and drinks the salad, which is in liquid form for some reason.

"Why would you drink on a work night?", Millie asks.

Loona stops drinking. "I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!"

"Loona! Manners!" Jess scolds. "And I'm pretty sure that's Moxxie's"

Moxxie enters the room and notices Loona with his box. "Isn't that my lunch?"

Loona drops the box on the floor. " You know what? I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some fucking steam!" She kicks the box to Moxxie, knocking him out of the room.

Millie turns to Jess. "What are you going to say about that?"

"Just... let her cool off. The last thing I want is for her to start kicking one of our asses", Jess shrugs.

Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street to a demon lady passing by, pushing her baby in a stroller. She kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief.

Loona is then at her desk, telling Blitzø about a caller. "Blitzø, that clingy rich asshole is on the phone. Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you. Sounds a little DTF-y".

Jess spits her cup of water and laughs at Blitzø's face. "I almost forgot about that! I said that would bite you in the ass one day and looks like I was right".

She kept laughing as Blitzø throws his cup of water on the floor. "Oh, God, it was one time! Besides, in case you forgot, if I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world".

"Yeah... but still you kind of fucked up with that as a strategy".

Moxxie stares in stunned silence. "You what?"

Jess smiles as she tries to explain to Moxxie.

*A Flashback within a flashback*

Stolas is sleeping naked in bed, hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitzø, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand.

"Got the book, got the book! Got this fucking heavy book!", he whispers to himself.

Blitzø heads to Stolas' balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. He tries to step up on the ledge too. "Oh... oh shit!" he lands in a cake that Stolas' wife and her friends are having, splattering pieces of it all over them.

"Sorry I fucked your husband", he confesses.

*End of Flashback within flashback*

"I even told him that I could've snuck in and stole the book. But he's really stubborn, so now when he asks for help with Stolas, I tell him the same thing: 'You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it... with Stolas'."

"Well, fuck you!", Blitzø spats at Jess while she smirks at him.

"Blitzø!!" Loona yells.

"I heard you alrea--!"

Blitzø is in his office, talking with Stolas, and playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie. "So, what can I do you for this time, Stolas?"

Stolas is talking on his phone from a fancy mansion. "There's a political candidate causing trouble up on earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!"

"Doesn't it?"

"Well, yes, but more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here".

"Okay, well, yeah, that makes sense"

"You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy?"

Blitzø pulls his phone away and talks to himself. "Oh, God fucking damnit."

Jess enters the room with a file and freezes when she hears Stolas on the phone. "When I'm lonely, I become hungry...and when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red **** of yours! **** your ***** and lick all of your ***** before taking out your ***** and **** with more teeth until you're screaming ******** like a fucking baby!"

Blitzø, who's visibly disturbed, hangs up. Jess walks out of the room backwards, also feeling as disturbed as he is. Blitzø breaks his cell phone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, pulls out a blender, puts the pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzø turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.

"Eat this! And then you know that bridge over the freeway?"

"Yeah?"

"Shit off it!"

*End of Loona's Flashback*

"Look, the point is Loona's a valued member of our family, and you don't get rid of family", Blitzø states. Loona looks up from her phone and smiles, touched by Blitzø's words.

"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!" As Loona continues looking at her phone, she slowly gives the middle finger to Moxxie.

"That is offensive! Without homeless people, I wouldn't have half the joy and laughter I do in this life!" Blitzø puts his face up against the window, cracking it, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A female demon is on her cell phone and ignores the hobo. Blitzø smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.

"And besides, Moxxie, not to be rude, but you don't have a kid. So, you can't judge Blitzø for how he treats Loona", Jess says.

"And you can't keep agreeing with everything he says just because you've known him since childhood", Moxxie talks back.

"You know for a fact that isn't true. I'm nobody's 'yes man'. And plus, your acting like we have a 'perfect normal friendship'." Jess makes air quotes. "Well... lately things have been a bit weird, if I'm being honest".

*Flashback to Jess' moments*

Jess walked into the building while reading a book that's titled "Living with a Psychopath". Blitzø walks up behind her and jump-scares her a bit. "What are you reading?"

Her reflexes go off and she punches his face, knocking him on the floor. "Ahhh!" She realizes who she punched and gets angry. "Stop sneaking up on me every single time I enter the room!"

Jess is next seen talking on the phone with another boy. "Okay, I love you too". Blitzø then snatches the phone from her hands and waves it around.

"Who's this?" Blitzø interrogates. "A hooker? A sexual partner? An Ex blackmailing you?"

"That's my brother, Alex! You already met him! And you know I'm not the slutty type when it comes to men... or women". Jess snatches her phone back.

Jess is then walking into Blitzø's office holding a bunch of papers. "I'm not doing all of this crap, so I need you to..."

Blitzø was sleeping on his desk, drooling over a picture stuck to his face and panting while mumbling something under his breath. He looked somewhat feverish.

Jess rolled her eyes and yelled his name 3 times. He jolted up and yelled back at her. "What?!"

"Oh good, you're up. Anyway, I'm not doing the paperwork this time". Jess drops the papers in front of Blitzø. "Bitch", he whispers.

"You know you love it", Jess smirks. She grabbed the picture that was on his face and realized it was a picture of her and him singing a duet. But a few hearts were drawn around them. "Why is the picture--"

Blitzø snatched the picture away, blushing redder than usual. "Get out of my office!"

Jess ignored it and shrugged as she left.

*End of Jess' Flashback*

"And those are just the highlights--", Jess gets cut off by Blitzø.

"But your point is that you don't always agree with me but still support me"

"Yeah, despite your weird behavior lately", Jess said lamely. "But I'm not too hung up about it". Blitzø smiles at her honesty but frowned slightly when she spoke the next sentence. "Mainly because you're just my best friend and the reason I have this job. Aside from the whole 'we are family' thing".

Blitzø flips her off as Moxxie began to speak to him again. "And while we're still on the subject of 'family', can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?"

"Come on, Sweetie! It's not that big a deal!", Millie tries to ease Moxxie, to which he doesn't react to her response well.

"Excuse me, WHAT?!"

*Flashback to Moxxie & Millie's Moments*

Moxxie and Millie were cooking in their kitchen.

"Honey, can you get me the butter?", Moxxie asked.

"Sure, Sweetie". Millie opens the fridge door and finds Blitzø inside as he hands her the butter. "Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!"

Millie giggles at his joke, which gains Moxxie's attention. "What's funny, Honey?"

"Really impressive word play", Blitzø responds, much to Moxxie's shock. "What the?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!"

Later that evening, Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. The former is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens his eyes and sees Blitzø standing on him, looking him right in the eyes. "Whatcha dreamin' about?"

"I was dreaming about my parents being murdered, but now, I'd like to go back to that"

In the next moment, Moxxie is singing the end of "Oh, Millie", as Millie joins in on some parts.

"♫Of all the imps in hell! It's for her that I fell!♫"

"♫It's for him that I fell!♫"

"♫Oh, Millie!♫"

They close their eyes to kiss, but Moxxie notices Blitzø outside the window with a camcorder. "Are you fucking filming us right now?!"

*End of Moxxie & Millie's Flashback*

"Just. Stop. Doing. That!", Moxxie says feeling frustrated.

Blitzø shrugs, "I don't see what the issue is! Is there something you don't want me seeing?"

Moxxie twitches his eye in anger. "No!"

"You a baby-wiener-haver?"

Loona and Jess snicker a bit before Moxxie stands up from his chair in anger. "Sir, what you say and how you act is totally inappropriate!"

Millie lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder. "Calm down, Mox. You're gonna have another panic attack".

"I am calm!!". Moxxie then starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzø as Millie tries to comfort him.

Jess ends up becoming slightly upset at the moment. "Okay, Blitzø, tone it down a bit. I don't like it when Moxxie blows a fuse"

"Look, Jess, I don't judge the boring couple stuff they do outside work hours, so they shouldn't judge me!", Blitzø says as he motions his hands to imply sexual activity.

Moxxie slightly snapped and talked back to Blitzø. "Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot actually!"

"Mox, he's our boss!", Millie said, now getting upset.

"No no no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just...How do I say this without being offensive...Retarded". Blitzø said.

Moxxie, once again, tried to make a comeback. "Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?"

"It actually does", Blitzø leans towards Moxxie, being smug.

Loona looks away from her phone, looking at Moxxie and joining the fight. "The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!"

Millie slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger, and gestures at her with two middle fingers. "No he's not, you bitch!"

Loona growls at Millie as Jess tries to defend her. "Do not talk to Loona that way! She's sensitive!"

Loona snaps her jaws at Millie. "Yes, I am!"

"You guys are all fucking assholes".

Blitzø, Jess, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona look at Eddie, the boy Moxxie accidentally shot earlier during the I.M.P. commercial flashback. Eddie is lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.

"Oh shut up, kid. You're lucky to witness this", Jess tells him.

"Ugh, this company is such a mess!", Moxxie pinches his nose in frustration.

"Alright, let's go back to talking about my outfit", Blitzø says.

"Nobody was talking about that!", Loona clarifies.

"Which is why I'm trying to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?"

Eddie points at Blitzø and detaches the tubes of the heart monitor from himself. "It's been a literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed, so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But now, I want that. I want death!" He once again points at Blitzø. "You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid. We're suppose to like clowns, even the creepy ones!"

"Hey now, that's not very--"

"If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit", Eddie tells Moxxie.

"That's my husband you're talking to!", Millie defends him.

Eddie laughs, "That's your husband?!"

Moxxie and Millie snarl at him.

"I figured you for a slut, but I didn't know you needed dick that bad!"

"For a kid, I'm surprised you even know any of that. How old are you?", Jess questions.

"I'm honestly not surprised that you're clueless about that since you seem to always have your head up your ass... and that should be where it belongs". He then points at Loona. "And you!"

"What? What about me?"

"Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person".

Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at Eddie with anger, and goes back to looking at her phone.

"Wow. You know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit", Blitzø tells him.

"Yeah, after all. He's kind of a piece of shit", Moxxie whispers.

Loona then receives a text message. "Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client. Guess he was the right target after all".

"Who?"

Loona points at Eddie. "Him."

"Me?"

"Yup."

"They wanted us to kill an actual child?", Jess asks.

"That's what they're sayin'." Loona responds.

"Well, Christ on a stick, I guess there is a god!" Blitzø draws a flintlock pistol and fires it at Eddie, instantly killing him. Blitzø and Moxxie kick Eddie's corpse, Millie and Jess stab him, and Loona records everything on her phone.

"You know, folks, with this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can! Like killing people!". Blitzø and Moxxie are shown dismembering Eddie's body with a wood saw and a chainsaw respectively.

Then the group goes by a dumpster, putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag. "So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money...is gone and you're never getting it back and you can write us a bad review, but we'll play dumb to it because it's hell and no one fucking cares."

Blitzø hugs Moxxie, Millie, Jess, and Loona, whose phone flies out of her hands.

"You know, even though this kid was a target, he's still a child. And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully." Blitzø wraps his tail around them as the group smile

On a newscast, showed Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on the screen says "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"

"Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at--", Eddie's body bag is suddenly dropped into her arms. "Ohh!" Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up, as the camera follows their gaze. Blitzø, Jess, Moxxie, and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal.

Blitzø waves. "You're welcome!"

The team disappears into the portal.

Chapter Text

"I was a good person before it all went down. I was good my entire life. You do everything right in life. Play by all the rules and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world".

Blitzø and Jess are in his office, looking bored as Mrs. Mayberry paces the room.

"After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So that's why I'm here. To get my revenge". Mrs. Mayberry turns around, revealing her demon form. Her face is partially shadowed by blinds. She holds a cigarette in her hand.

"I mean, was she hotter?', Jess asks, looking slightly smug. Mrs. Mayberry glares at her with an 'excuse me?' look on her face.

"She's just saying we had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at us, tits", Blitzø supports. Mrs. Mayberry seethes in anger, her aura glowing red.

Blitzø stands up and Mrs. Mayberry glares at him. "Anyway, I don't think you quite understand how we're operating down here. See we take revenge out on the living and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of death frankly are all probably down here in Hell with you. Boop", he touches her on the nose.

"He's got a point. I really don't know who you want to get revenge on if you already murdered those two", Jess agrees.

Mrs. Mayberry clenches her claws. "Not all of them. That whore survived. Now they all call her a hero. Between the talk shows and the donation bullshit, she made so much goddamn cash. Getting shot was the best thing to happen to her!"

Jess looked slightly surprised, "Wow. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that everyone started calling her a hero, and they don't even know why she was attacked. The stupidity of humanity these days".

"I know, right?" Blitzø agrees.

Mrs. Mayberry's purple fists create cracks on Blitzø's desk as she smashes down on it. "SHE IS NOT A HERO!!" She leans in close to Blitzø's face, her face red with anger.

"Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, yeah, my thoughts exactly". Blitzø rapidly presses a red button from underneath his desk.

*In Another Room*

A red light flashes by a label reading "Deranged client." The other labels read "More coffee," "Soiled my pants," "Horny client," "Client giving birth," "Ghost," and "Stolas."

Moxxie, who is holding a black and red crossbow in his hands, doesn't see the red light. In front of him is a picture of a smiling family: a father, a mother, a baby, and two children. His arms are shaking as the pointer hovers around the man's crotch area.

"Moxxie, stop shaking. You're gonna shoot our only hellhound!", Millie tells Moxxie.

Loona lies on a gray couch and holds up the family picture in one hand and her phone in the other. "Wow, I feel so loved here", she sarcastically says.

"Just take a deep breath, and let it out"

"But, it's a family. Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?", Moxxie asks.

"I mean, if that's what the client wants", Millie shrugs.

"Maybe like a shitty dad. Or a mob family". Moxxie then speaks with a stereotypical Italian accent. "That' s understandable", He goes back to his normal voice. "But to eradicate an entire innocent—seemingly in this instance—upper middle class family bloodline?"

Loona looks at the picture and she thinks for a moment before looking back at Moxxie. "Hey! You don't know they're innocent. This kid probably sets dogs on fire. Maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online. And this guy... this guy definitely watches".

"Exactly. Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here".

"But—"

"Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. Killing who we're paid to is our business. Shoot a target". Millie kisses him.

Moxxie aims his crossbow. "I just think it's a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective, is all."

Blitzø barges into the room followed by Mrs. Mayberry and Jess.

"Guys! I want you to meet—"

A startled Moxxie accidentally fires his arrow and it ricochets around the room. Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms as the arrow hits a computer. The arrow then flies and creates a hole in the family picture that a stunned Loona is holding. The arrow hits the bottom of a tank with eels and the tank starts to wobble dangerously. The arrow flies toward Jess, but Blitzø catches it with one hand.

"Our newest client!", he finishes.

The eel tank falls down. Glass and water spill on the floor. The eels fall out and burst into electricity, setting the room on fire.

"Dammit, Moxxie! I just bought those eels!"

*Later*

Outside the building, imp firefighters carry the eels away and head into a red fire truck. Mrs. Mayberry drives off in a yellow taxi cab as Blitzø waves goodbye. "Bye and don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is free!"

"When did we start implementing that deal?" Moxxie asks.

Blitzø turns with a glare at Moxxie and yells at him. "When you set fire to my office in front of a CLIENT, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT!!" Blitzø grabs Moxxie's face and pushes him away. "Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact! '

Loona types on her phone and pulls out a blue book from behind her. "You mean our only ticket to the other side? Yeah, got it."

"And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie". Blitzø talks in a baby-talk voice and holds up a dog treat to her. "You get a tweat now!"

"Ew. Stop."

Blitzø throws the treat into the air and catches it with his tongue, like a frog. He pulls it into his mouth and chews, making Jess giggle a bit and Loona more annoyed. "You're so gross!"

Millie draws a pentagram with chalk on the wall. It glows red and creates a portal to the human world.

"Aw, stop it. I get enough of that from my therapist", Blitzø says as Loona rolls her eyes.

"It's true, he does", Jess confirms. "Anyway, this should make up for... whatever that was". Jess hands Loona $25 before she thanks her and leaves.

Blitzø smiles at the two then puts his hand on Moxxie's face, who struggles to walk to Millie. "Now, let's go lick some ass!

"The expression is 'kick some ass.' Blitzø", Millie snaps her fingers at Blitzo as she walks through the portal.

"Mine's better," Blitzø says as he follows her.

"No it's not", Jess smirks.

Moxxie just sighs at the whole thing. "Aw fuck..."

Moxxie walks through the portal. All four imps stand in front of a small red house by the lake as the sun sets. Blitzø, Jess, and Moxxie lean against the side of the house, rising from bushes. Blitzø stands up and peers into the window.

"That's gotta be her". Blitzø chuckles darkly. "This is too easy. Moxxie, do you want this one?"

Moxxie looks pleasantly surprised. "Me?"

"Yeah, this one's simple enough for you to handle", Jess tells him.

Moxxie stands up and peers through the window. His face falls as he looks at the family having dinner.

"It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital", Blitzø adds.

Martha and Ralphie affectionately rub each other's noses. Martha holds a dinner platter in her hand while Moxxie hesitates at the window.

"You snooze, you lose, Mox!" Blitzø aims his sniper rifle at Martha's face. "And I've got you, bitch".

"Wait, are we actually killing a family?!", Moxxie asks.

"Moxxie, stop being a wimp. We're not killing the entire family. We're just killing the mother... which is going to ruin the family. See? It's different", Jess tries to calm him a bit.

Blitzø positions his rifle and it clicks.

"But... hold on hold on. Let's just think about it." Moxxie lifts up Blitzø's gun as he fires. The bullet hits a glass mirror inside the house. All four family members gasp in fear.

"What was that, Ralphie?", Martha, the mother, asks her husband.

Ralphie shakes his head. "I don't know, Martha. But whatever it is..." He grins evilly as he stands up holding a rifle in his hands. "They're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner!"

Martha sets the platter on the table and pulls out another rifle. She drinks a glass of wine and smashes it onto the floor. "Alright, kids! Guns out!"

Her son pulls out a small gun from his beaver-skin hat. Her daughter pulls out another rifle. All of them have evil grins of sharp teeth.

"Looks like we got some rabbits to catch, young'uns!" Ralphie chuckles darkly.

Blitzø fumes in anger back outside. "What the fuck was that, Moxxie?!"

Moxxie breathes anxiously, eye twitching. He lets out a croak with his snake-like tongue out. He then falls to his knees, hands over his face. "I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy". Tears fall from Moxxie's eyes as he takes more breaths. "I panicked".

Blitzø facepalms, meanwhile Jess sighs in disbelief. "Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leeching off your momma's tits" Blitzø leans in and pokes Moxxie's head. "Get the fuck over yourself you baby dick prune!"

"Shut up! God, can you just calm down?! Sure, Moxxie fucked up, but you don't have to yell at him!" Jess glares at Blitzø, who glares back at her.

"You're not his boss, so stay out of it!", Blitzø yells at her.

Suddenly, a blast shoots through the wall and hits Blitzø in the arm, black blood flying out.

"Aah! A new hole! Scatter!"

Blitzø, Jess, and Millie flee the scene while Moxxie hides in the bushes. Another hole appears and part of the wall explodes. Ralphie and Martha grin and leap through the large hole with guns drawn. Moxxie peers out from the bushes and rapidly looks around. A child's hand grabs Moxxie by his tail and he yelps.

Ralphie fires at Millie who flips backwards and dives into a lake.

"Where'd you go, little critter? Y'all can't hide long from me".

Millie has her head above the water under the dock with a knife in her mouth. She then breaks through the dock and lands on it, with her knife and a grin. Ralphie swings a glass bottle and Millie runs behind him out of the way.

Millie jumps up in the air, knife in both hands. Ralphie swings his bottle upwards, knocking Millie in the head. She cries out and falls to the ground. She struggles to stand but collapses onto the dock. Her eyes twitch. Ralphie smiles evilly down at her as the cloudy sky spirals red.

*Meanwhile with Moxxie*

Moxxie opens his eyes and gasps with a squeak to find himself tied to a stitched-up dead body in a chair. Moxxie's face falls in fear as he looks at the daughter and son. Both their eyes are red and devious sharp grins form on their faces

Moxxie tries to defuse the situation. "Oh. Well hello there, little ones. Aren't you cute?"

Both kids speak in low creepy tones, the boy finishing seconds after the girl, speaking instantly after Moxxie. "It's nice to have a new critter to play with."

Moxxie glances up in fear at a red light above him. The light reveals a human head high up and several limbs on plaques. The wooden walls are stained with red blood. Two plaques hold stitched-up faces of skin. A larger plaque displays a dead man with long white hair, arms crossed, eyes, and teeth bulging out. His upper chest is connected to the plaque. A picture frame made of bones reveals another face made of skin inside it. Human skin is tacked to the wall with "bless this mess" stitched onto it. Moxxie looks and sees a dead human body on a platter in front of him, an apple in the human's mouth. Organs are in a nearby bowl.

"Oh... crumbs".

*Meanwhile with Blitzø and Jess*

Four gunshots are ringing out in the woods as Blitzø and Jess dash through a bush. Martha's evil laughter follows as the two imps run through the forest. They slide down a hill and Blitzø catches his breath at the bottom.

"I know you're hurtin' little devils", Martha calls out to them.

Blitzø takes deep breaths as he and Jess lean against a tree. His eyes go wide as he covers his mouth. A silhouette of Martha walks through the woods, calling after them. "I promise that I can make that pain go real quick. Just come let Mama Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull!"

Jess waits till Martha passes them to look at the wound on Blitzø's arm. She rips off one of the long sleeves on her dress and wraps it around his arm. "In all honesty, you kind of deserved this for yelling at Moxxie", she tells him as he looks at her with a confused look.

"So, why are you helping me?", he asks her.

"Because I'm not that cruel, and I actually didn't expect that to happen. Karma? Yes. But by a gunshot? No. A slap in the face? Maybe".

Blitzø gives her another glare and she sighs.

"But I understand your side too. About Moxxie being a wimp when it comes to these things. Either way, I don't want any of you guys getting hurt like this. You're my friends and I care about you all. Especially you".

Blitzø drops his glare and smiles slightly. "God, that was cheesy as fuck".

Jess smiles back and scoffs. "Hey, watch it, or else that hole won't be the only thing giving you pain".

She finishes up aiding his wound, to which Blitzø places her hand back on it and puts his own hand over hers. Jess stares at him in surprise as he blushes and smiles, hoping the shadows of the forest would stop Jess from seeing it. They both stare at each other in silence before Blitzø's phone lets out a yelling ringtone, scaring the two back into reality.

Blitzø pulls it out and it flips through the air, still blushing. "Damnit!" He tries to grab hold of the phone eventually doing so, then he holds it to his ear. "Stolas! This is a really bad time".

Stolas is in his palace relaxing in a bathtub. There are candles with blue flames around the tub. The floor has glowing astrological symbols on it. The curtains look like the starry night sky. Glowing constellations float around the room. Stolas holds an old rotary phone to his ear, in the shape of sunflowers. "Oh, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?"

Blitzø gets frustrated. "What is it?"

"I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my grimoire?"

Blitzø's angry face appears in a bubble, which Stolas pops with his finger.

"What did you just call me?"

"My book, Blitzy. The book I was given to do my job that I have allowed you to use to do yours?"

Jess gets scared as she hears a rifle click. "Move!" She pushes Blitzø as a bullet flies through the tree where they were moments before. A shadow of Martha with red eyes and mouth appears through the hole. "I can hear ya, darlings!"

"Shit!", Blitzø grabs Jess' hand and the two begin to run away from the murderous woman.

"Anywho, I have been thinking. You know, I have been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?" Stolas runs his finger on the edge of the tub. He makes walking motions with his fingers as they begin to glow red.

"Doesn't that sound... enticing?" Stolas speaks in a seductive voice.

Blitzø and Jess continue running through the woods. A bullet hits a tree and the two duck behind another one. "Stop using your fancy ass rich-people talk, okay? I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A!"

A bullet hits the tree that they were hiding behind and nearly hits them.

"Then let me keep it simple: once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of... Passionate fornication." Stolas' eyes glow red and he lowers himself into the water with a lustful look. He then leans slightly over the edge. "And, you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sound fair, my little imp?"

Jess looks at Blitzø with a stressed face. "Just agree to it!"

"Fine, whatever!", Blitzø answers both of them.

"Oh, Blitzy! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to feel your slimy c**k inside of my *****. To ***** the—"

Blitzø cringes and closes his eyes as Stolas rambles on about his lust for him. Jess, at this point, is really annoyed. "Give me that!" Jess snatches Blitzø's phone to hang up but gets hit in the face by the butt of Martha's gun. She goes unconscious as Blitzø is pinned to the tree. Stolas continues talking on the phone, however.

"So, you're little devils, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell? Well, not today, Satan!", Martha presses the gun harder into Blitzø. "Gonna send y'all back to where ya came from!"

*Back with Moxxie*

Moxxie struggles to free himself from the rope, his hands are tied behind his back. He looks up and gasps as he sees fires being lit from outside. A hangman's noose hangs from the wall.

"Millie!"

Both kids stare at Moxxie with wide evil grins. Moxxie grunts and struggles again. He notices the girl pull out a sharp knife. He looks at the blade and then glares with determination. The girl raises the knife but Moxxie pushes the chair backwards, knocking her to the ground. He frees himself with the knife. Moxxie breaks through the window, holding his gun. He races outside through the forest, where red symbols hang from tree branches.

Meanwhile, Jess, Millie, and Blitzo are tied to a stake decorated with spikes at the top. Ralphie laughs as he pours gasoline on the ground under their feet. Nearby, a grinning Martha holds a torch in her left hand.

"I had that fucking shot. God dammit, Moxxie", Blitzø complains.

"Satan! We return your filthy creatures back to the pits of Hell!", Martha rises her torch as Blitzø, Jess and Millie struggle to free themselves. "May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy work!"

Martha tosses the torch to the ground, where it lands under Blitzø, Jess, and Millie. Evil laughter follows. The flames rise up, around the tree imps, but they remain unharmed.

"Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't actually hurt us, but I mean I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard", Blitzø tells Martha.

The trio smirk at her as she stares confused. "Oh... Shit..." She rolls her eyes and pulls out her rifle. "Well, I'll just shoot you in your smart-ass mouth!"

"That would be more effective".

"Blitzø!" Millie and Jess scold him.

Martha laughs evilly again as she aims her rifle at the imps. They all close their eyes and flinch. Martha then yelps as a gunshot is heard. Martha's eye flies from her socket and she collapses to the ground. And Moxxie was the one holding the gun.

Moxxie runs over and unties the rope as the trio gives him different responses.

"Moxxie!" Millie smiles.

"Nice job buddy!" Jess compliments.

"You're not getting your goddamn paycheck for this one, Mox!" Blitzø tells him.

Moxxie and Millie smile at each other and embrace while Blitzø and Jess fall down. Ralphie trips backwards on Martha's body before fleeing the scene.

"Oh yeah, thanks! I'm fine!", Blitzø sarcastically says.

Moxxie helps Blitzø up and supports him while Millie did the same for Jess.

"I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise".

Blitzø pulls Moxxie into a hug. "Apology accepted". He then speaks to Moxxie in a lower voice. "But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and your wife".

Blitzø lets go as Moxxie looks fearfully and Millie raises her arms in a cheer.

"Alrighty! Job well done! Now let's get off." Blitzø pulls a gray and black horse toy from his chest. He puts it back and retrieves his cell phone.

"Eh, yeah give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house", Moxxie mentions to them.

"Okay, fine, but hurry up". Blitzø then speaks loudly into the phone. "Loona! We're ready to come home, dear!"

Moxxie runs through the woods with a determined look on his face. He passes the phone with Stolas continuing to speak about his plans for Blitzø.

The two kids were being lifted into their father's arms in the corner of the house when Moxxie pointed his rifle at them. The girl and boy look scared and the girl has a teddy bear with her.

"Don't move!" he threatens.

"What are you gonna do little guy? Kill us?" Ralphie asks.

"I should! You people are monsters! But... you should have a chance at life and a purpose. Look at your children. They have their whole future ahead of them! You are going to face your crimes, justly", Moxxie picks up what he thinks is a phone. "I will call your earthly authorities and they will make sure you are dealt with, fairly. I'm handling this, my way".

Moxxie presses a button and the television turns on. He looks surprised and glances behind him. "Oh, shit." Moxxie glances at the TV remote, the buttons looking like eyes and a face. "Uh, do you have a phone to summon 911?'

Ralphie motions his thumb behind him. "Yeah, it's in the kitchen."

"Then, what is this for?"

"It's a universal remote. Got it for the kids." Ralphie hugs them as Moxxie smiles, eyes shining.

"Aww."

*Later*

Moxxie arrives back at the portal where Blitzø, Jess, and Millie were waiting for him.

"There he is. Have a good wank-off session, Moxxie?" Blitzø asks.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't care where you cum in the living world. Just come to your job on time, alright?" Blitzø pokes Moxxie several times for emphasis before going through the portal. "See you at the office!"

Millie places her hand on Moxxie's cheek. "You doing okay, sweetie?"

"Better, now, honey. I think I just needed a minute to process." He tells her.

"You have a good heart, honey. Just a fuzzy head." Millie kisses Moxxie and he smiles lovingly. Millie walks through the portal, leaving Jess and Moxxie.

"Hey, Moxxie. Let this experience teach you that pure innocence doesn't truly exist. Even in families. But that doesn't mean that it's never completely there either. It's just not there 100% of the time... And remind me to tell Blitzø to let me show you the files and background of who we're killing next time".

Moxxie nods to Jess. But her face becomes surprised when she looked behind Moxxie. "What the hell?"

Moxxie turns around and notices two police cars and a helicopter outside the house.

A missile fires through the roof and the house explodes in an inferno. Something hits Moxxie in the head. He looks down to see what is left of the teddy bear's head. He looks stunned as Jess grabs his outfit's collar and slowly pulls him through the portal.

Back in the office, Mayberry and the imps are celebrating their victory. A white banner reads "killed the bitch" in red letters. Loona and Mrs. Mayberry are holding pieces of cake on their plates. "We did it! :)" is written on the cake in light blue icing. Blitzø has his arm in a sling. Everyone is wearing party hats. And everyone laughs and cheers except Moxxie, who sits with a distressed look on his face.

"Well, here's to another mission accomplished! And Moxxie here finally learned not to fuck up", Blitzø says.

"And killing people isn't that big of a deal if they try to kill you back!", Millie adds.

"That's messed up. But I paid for it!" Mrs. Mayberry says. Everyone, except Moxxie, laughs. Even Jess forces a laugh due to Moxxie's distress.

"Yeah, fuck that family!", Blitzø comments.

Chapter Text

I'm adding more OCs, and if you want to know more about them, go to my Wattpad and search up my "OC Book", there you'll be able to find extra info about Roman and Jess (but maybe look it up after I post the 5th episode since there are some spoilers you shouldn't see yet). More OCs in that book are coming soon. Meanwhile, here are the ones you'll see for now.

_______________________________________

OC #1 (I've should've done this in the beginning)

Name: Jess

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual (She's a Heterosexual-Leaning Bisexual girl, meaning that her romantic/sexual interests lean more toward boys than girls, but she still has romantic/sexual interests towards girls).

Species: Imp Demon

Outfit: Black Jacket (she never leaves without it), Purple short dress, Black combat boots, Choker with a Sapphire stone on it.

Hair Style: Medium-length wavy bob cut

Job: I.M.P. employee

Voice Claim/Actor: Erin Yvette

Singing Voice Claim/Actor: Andrea Storm Kaden

_______________________________________

OC #2

Name: Tourmaline Wackford

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Polysexual

Species: Imp Demon

Outfit: Yellow Shirt and Black overall dress with yellow ankle boots.

Hair Style: Medium-length wavy white and black hair (white on one side and black on the other).

Job: Loo Loo Land Technician

Voice Claim/Actor: Kathryn Hahn

Singing Voice Claim/Actor: Kathryn Hahn

_______________________________________

OC #3

Name: Roman

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay

Species: Imp Demon

Outfit: White dress shirt, Light blue vest, Light blue pants, Dark blue tie.

Hair Style: Curly medium length hair

Job: One of Stolas and Stella's servants and a recurring side character.

Voice Claim/Actor: Neil Patrick Harris

Singing Voice Claim/Actor: Neil Patrick Harris

_______________________________________

Also, I need to mention that this is the first time Tourmaline is meeting I.M.P., meanwhile Roman already knew them, so don't get confused.

_______________________________________

Spelling and pronouncing the name

1. Blitzø = The O is silent

2. Blitzo = You hear the O

Okay now with that out the way, enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter Text

"Mummy! Daddy!"

Stolas is roused from his sleep in the master bedroom at the sound of Octavia's frightened voice. "Via's calling us, Stella".

"Let Roman handle it". Stella says sleepily.

"Stolas, Octavia is requesting your presence as well as mine!", Roman calls out.

Stolas sighs and gets out of bed. He enters Octavia's room, where she is hiding beneath her blankets while Roman tries to calm her.

"Via? What troubles you, my owlet?", Stolas asks.

Octavia runs to him sobbing. "Daddy! Daddy! I had a dream! A really bad dream!"

"A nightmare, Octavia", Roman tells her.

"I was looking all over the palace, and... I couldn't find you anywhere! Roman neither! You both weren't there!" she continues to cry. Roman gives Stolas a look that asks if he should leave, but Stolas nods for him to stay. Stolas then summons his grimoire to Roman telekinetically, and he flips it open.

"There there, Via, it's okay; you're okay. When you're scared and you don't know where I am, you must remember: no matter what happens to me, I will never be far away from my special little Starfire" Stolas comforts his daughter.

Roman uses a spell that sends them to another solar system as Stolas begins to sing a lullaby for Octavia.

Stolas: ♫ It always seems more quiet... in the dark ♫
♫ It always feels so stark... ♫
♫ How silence grows under the moon ♫
♫ Constellations gone so soon ♫

♫ I used to think that I was bold ♫
♫ I used to think love would be fun ♫
♫ Now all my stories have been told, except for one... ♫

♫ As the stars start to align ♫
♫ I hope you take it as a sign ♫
♫ That you'll be okay ♫
♫ Everything will be okay ♫

♫ And if the Seven Rings collapse ♫
♫ Although the day could be my last ♫
♫ You will be okay ♫
♫ When I'm gone you'll be okay... ♫

♫ And when Creation goes to die ♫
♫ You can find me in the sky ♫
♫ Upon the last day ♫
♫ And you will be okay... ♫

His lullaby finished, Stolas and Roman leave as Octavia settles to sleep, content.

"I apologize for waking you, sir. But Octavia requested for you and I couldn't deny it", Roman tells Stolas. To which he places his hand on Roman's shoulder.

"It's fine, Roman. I would do anything for my daughter, so you don't need to apologize. And it looks like she's getting more comfortable with you around, like if you were her third parent".

Roman smiles, feeling slightly surprised. "You really think so?"

"Yes, I do. You do a good job of helping to care for her with me. And I appreciate your help".

The two continue to have a pleasant conversation as they continued on with their night.

Roman has been working for the Goetia family for a long time. Most of his work was simple and he got along swell with Stolas, to where they became good friends, and Roman became loyal towards him. As for Octavia, Roman was also fond of her and he enjoyed caring for the child. He was great with kids and Octavia enjoyed Roman being around.

Needless to say, Roman liked his time with the Goetia family and believed that things would be okay.

*Several Years Later*

Well, he was wrong.

An older Octavia is jolted awake by smashing objects and screaming, far less content.

"I can't believe you slept with an imp, IN OUR FUCKING BED!"

"It was unexpected! I didn't have time to go to a motel!"

"A motel?! Like a fucking plebian?!"

Octavia sees Roman enter her room and he hands her phone to her.

"I updated the playlist. Also please mind the broken glass".

Octavia thanked Roman as she puts in her earbuds, starting a pop song as she and Roman both stridden down the halls of the estate, stepping over the smashed remains of a plant thrown in their path.

In the kitchen, Stella continues screaming at Stolas. "You want to fuck this one, too?!" Stella grabs an imp servant and violently tosses him in Stolas's direction.

"No! Of course not!", he tells her.

"You are a God damn embarrassment! I'm not spending another moment looking at your pathetic, imp-sucking face!" Stella storms out of the room, shouting angrily the entire time, and smashing more potted plants.

"I promise to clean that up when she's done", Roman grabs a broom and starts sweeping the kitchen.

Stolas sighs in exhausted exasperation before he notices his daughter has entered the kitchen. "Good mooorning, Octavia! Did you sleep well, my owlet?" he greets.

"Was that a serious question?" Octavia sips some coffee.

Stolas opens the refrigerator to retrieve a massive chunk of zebra meat. "Mm-hmm... What's that you're listening to?"

"It's a song called "My World is Burning Down Around Me." It's by Fuck You Dad. It's a band. Roman told me about it". Octavia responds.

"Oh! How charming...", Stolas bemusedly says before turning to Roman. "I didn't know that you liked that type of music".

"I used to, but that was a while ago. I thought she might like it as much as I did. Although, I had to make a few conditions when I showed it to her". Roman continues cleaning.

Stolas nods and feeds the zebra meat to a massive potted plant situated in a small alcove off the kitchen as he pets it.

"So, you two done screaming for the day?", Octavia asks.

"Um..."

Stella lets out another scream of anger and an object is heard shattering in the distance. Roman sees Stolas' slightly upset face and walks up to him to whisper an idea to him. Stolas smiles at the idea and turns to Octavia.

"You know what I haven't done in a long, long time? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land?"

"I'm not five anymore"

"You both always were so happy when he took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say you two go there again, have a day, just the two of you!", Roman tells Octavia.

"I'd rather kill myself," she states.

"There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security." Stolas picks up a phone.

"Roman's coming with us. Why do we need security for a theme park?" Octavia asks.

"I am?", Roman looked confused.

"Roman isn't the type to harm people. After all, we are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies!" Stolas tries to explain.

"Our money, maybe. And you make Roman sound like a pacifist", Octavia said under her breath.

"Speak for yourself, Princess. Now, I'm calling the only man who can f*** me!"

Octavia and Roman look at Stolas, both feeling disgusted. "What...?"

"Who can protect me. Us". He tries to save it. "Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know".

"And yet here I am", Roman comments as Octavia groans and pulls her hat down over her eyes.

*At Blitzø's Office*

Blitzø is busy doing 'important work' in his office, involving crude representations of Jess, Millie and Moxxie made out of office supplies that he puppets around and speaks with.

"[Millie impression]'Oh, Blitzø, you're such a good boss!' [Moxxie impression]'Yeah, I really want you, sir.' [Jess impression]'Me too!' [Regular voice] Let's four-way!" Blitzo lowers his "employees" below his desk to crotch level, before hearing his office door open and seeing Jess holding a box.

He tries to hide what he was doing and tries to act normal. "Make this quick, I was busy with something important".

Jess rolls her eyes and places the box on the floor. "Is something weird going to happen every time I enter your office?"

"Yeah, something tells me it might turn into a gag", Blitzø breaks the 4th wall.

"Anyway, I cleaned out my room in my apartment and found a bunch of my old stuff in the closet. So, I wanted to know if you or probably Moxxie and Millie want any of it, or else I'm going to light them on fire", Jess opened the box and Blitzø walked over to see was she had.

She took out old stuff toys, makeup kits, and murder mystery books. She didn't give any of them a second glance.

As she got up to steal some of Blitzø's coffee, he spots a small scarlet-colored box that had a 'B&J' carved onto the lid. Blitzø is about to open it but becomes interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone.

Blitzø answers it angrily. "What?!" Though he didn't realize it was on speaker.

"Why hello, my big-dicked Blitzy." Stolas says to him lustfully.

Octavia spits out her coffee in sheer surprise, while Jess does the same but instead laughs her ass off at Blitzø's disturbed reaction.

"What--"

"The--"

"Fuck--"

"Dad?!"

"Language! Everyone!" Roman scolds.

Stolas continues on the phone. "I have a special request."

"Aw-- look, I just had a chemical peel, so you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass!" Blitzø says as he puts the scarlet box in his pocket.

"It's for my daughter."

"Ah, well make sure she washes it."

Stolas gets taken aback by Blitzø's response. "Oh! No! No, no, no! I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land and I was hoping you brave little imps would accompany us."

"We're assassins, not bodyguards, okay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die", Blitzø says.

"I'll pay you."

"Pay me what?"

"Money."

"Done!"

Blitzø hangs up and accidentally smashes his phone down on the desk hard enough to shatter it.

"I'm NOT buying you another one", Jess tells him.

After a brief annoyed glance at it, Blitzø pulls out a megaphone. "M&M, get in here! We're goin' to Loo Loo Land!"

Moxxie opens the door to respond. "Loo Loo Land?"

Millie excitedly smashes straight through the office door's glass. "Loo Loo Land?!"

Jess repeats it in song form. "Loo Loo Land!"

"Shut the fuck up!!" Loona yells from down the hall.

*Later*

A van with an I.M.P decal spray painted on the side pulls into the rather empty parking lot. Moxxie exits the van and opens the side door. A very cramped Stolas extracts himself excitedly. His daughter exits the van, far less excitedly. And Roman leaves the van after her, dusting off his vest.

Stolas dons an apple-themed hat and gestures toward the park gate. Octavia groans and pulls her hat low over her face, while Roman smiles and gives Stolas a thumbs-up.

"Now remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?", Blitzø tells Stolas.

"Hey, dad, do we have to--", Octavia gets cut off by Roman.

"Okay yeah, hold on right there sweetie. Give them a few minutes".

Blitzø turns to Stolas again. "If you try fuckin' my little ass in that park, I swear to--"

"You are so cute when you are serious!", Stolas flirts, causing Blitzø to look uncomfortable.

"I'm literally going to be sick." Octavia states as she watches them.

"Oh crumbs! I knew today would be a lot! What do you need?" Moxie fishes around in a fanny pack and retrieves several pill bottles as he lists off his inventory. "Antacids? Ibuprofen? Morphine?" Moxxie shows Octavia several hypodermic needles of a glowing, acid-green substance.

"That was figurative, old man." She told him as she follows her dad and Blitzø.

"Oh, right." Moxxie chuckles sheepishly as he discards the needles into a nearby baby carriage, where a baby imp happily reaches out to play with its dangerous new 'toys.' "But she said it was literal."

Roman pats Moxxie's shoulder and gives him a reassuring expression. "It's a teenager thing. They say things like that a lot, and sometimes give it a different meaning. Though I admire and appreciate you trying to help out". He walks to Octavia's side.

"Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot!" Millie exclaims. "It hasn't changed a bit! Oh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly!" Millie gestures toward a hideously malformed animatronic dinosaur, which opens its mouth and lets out a terrifying, demonic shriek.

"That is... deeply upsetting." Moxxie states

"Oh come on! It's fun! You've never been here?"

"No. Theme parks always disturbed me. Especially the mascots."

As if it was on cue, the park's mascot, Loo Loo, appears out of nowhere behind Moxxie, making him scream. "Well hey there!"

"Aaah!"

"I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us!"

"Look! Via! It's Loo Loo!", Stolas gestures to the mascot.

"I have a question." Octavia holds up her finger.

Loo Loo turns to her. "Well ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!"

"Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?", Octavia asks.

"...No?"

"This place reeks of insecure corporate shame." She glares at Loo Loo.

Stolas chuckles in slight embarrassment, as he leads Octavia away.

"Why don't we go check out the rides? They should be fun", Roman says nervously.

"That chick's creepy, huh?", Loo Loo asks Blitzø

"Ah, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes." He follows the two owl demons.

"What's that mean?" Loo Loo turns to Moxxie, Millie and Jess.

"Don't talk to me! I know you're a pervert under there!" Moxxie leaves, leading Millie off with him, as Jess shrugs and follows.

Loo Loo hangs his body dejectedly. "Yeah..."

The trio head down a pathway, and Moxxie, sweating profusely, stops to catch his composure. "You really like this place, huh?"

"I love this place! My parents would bring me and the siblings here when they could swing it. Money-wise." Millie explains.

Moxxie looks over to see a worker wheeling a wheelbarrow piled to the brim with money into a nearby gift shop. The two approach the window, where novelty cups and stuffed apples are for sale. The cups appear to cost at least 29 per. "Yeah, the prices do seem rather criminal. I mean, that much for a novelty cup you use one time?"

"'Cause it's Loo Loo Land!", Millie exclaims.

Blitzø walks up, having loaded up on merch, including a novelty cup, as well as a hat with attached can holders and straws. "Listen to your hoe, Mox. How 'bout I take the first watch while you two have a little fun." He winks at the couple before turning to Jess. "Hey Jess, how does a ten minute break sound?"

Jess gives Blitzø a thumbs up and walks away as Millie squeals and picks up Moxxie before running off in the opposite direction. "Oh! We gotta do my favorite ride!"

"Oh yeah? Whi- which one?", Moxxie asks.

Millie takes him to a roller coaster named "The Lawsuit" that suddenly plunges off a sheer 90-degree drop at incredible speed, while on fire, with its rider hanging on for dear life. The coaster plunges into a tunnel in the ground.

"Oh crumbs!"

Moxxie is then vomiting into a trash can after having left the ride. A vomit-covered family walks by in the back of him and Millie, glaring disapprovingly at Moxxie.

*In Another Part of the Park*

Jess became uninterested in the rides or games, especially since she was going to go to them alone. She was thinking about heading back to the others until she saw a hammer get thrown her way and dodged it before it hit her face. Out of curiosity, she picked it up and walked in the direction it came from.

She ended up heading to some kind of circus tent and heard someone swear in anger once she got close.

"DAMN IT!"

Jess got closer and peeked in to see a female imp working on some type of robot. More animatronics crowded her and had morbid and creepy designs. She seemed to be looking for something, which Jess assumed was the hammer.

"Never mind, I'm pretty sure that it's going to stay during the show. Anyway, the tinkering is done and I think you're in good shape, like always".

A figure hidden by the shadows gave a thumbs-up to the imp and was about to walk away until she stopped him. "Wait", the imp placed a spiked bracelet on the figure's wrist, "You almost forgot this. Now, knock 'em dead". She fist-bumps him and Jess could see that the imp had a similar bracelet.

As soon as the figure left, Jess walked in and tried to talk to the imp. "If you were trying to do a headshot with a hammer, you did it wrong because my face is still working".

The imp turned around quickly, holding a screwdriver like a sword, but lowered it down and sighed in relief. "Sorry. I thought you were my boss. He said I could take a break for 30 minutes, but I got bored so I tried to sneak some work", the imp explained.

Jess handed her the hammer and smirked. "So, you're on a break too? And you're spending it working on robots that look like they're from a hellish version of Fazbear's Pizzeria?".

The imp nodded yes as if the question was something she heard before. She then tried to get a handshake from Jess. "I'm Tourmaline Wackford. My cousin and I work here at Loo Loo Land. I'm an engineer, technician, and inventor. But my main job is to work on the animatronics and fix them once in a while".

Jess smiled and shook her hand. "I'm Jessie, but my friends call me Jess. I work for I.M.P. and my job is to assassinate people. My boss and I are only here for work but he gave me ten minutes to have fun".

"Cool! What are you planning on doing?", Tourmaline asks.

"Well, nothing here really catches my eye. Mainly because I'm alone for now".

Tourmaline thought for a second and looked like she had an idea. "Well, there is a show starting soon. And it stars one of my friends. So, how about you and I hang out for a bit and head out to watch it?"

Jess smiled and followed Tourmaline. Though, she was unaware of what... or who was coming.

*Meanwhile with Blitzø & Stolas*

Stolas, Roman, and Octavia walk along the path, as Blitzø takes up positions all around them with his rifle, on the lookout for any danger. A group of imps creeps up behind the booths, with ropes, knives, and pitchforks at the ready. They quickly scatter as Blitzø looks in their direction.

"You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy", Stolas flirts with him.

"Save it, bitch. I'm working", Blitzø tells him.

"You both need to get a room", Octavia states.

"Hey, I am not a day hooker!", Blitzø said as a woman walking nearby with her baby glares at him before continuing on in a huff. "What? I just said I'm not one, prude!", he flips her off.

Stolas then gasps and points ahead. "Look, Via! You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!"

Octavia gained a panicked look. "Oh no..."

*Flashback to the Past*

Octavia as a young girl gets pushed against the stage by an excited crowd of imp children, as an animatronic sparks and cackles maniacally, leering over Octavia, who soon breaks into tears.

A younger Blitzø is in the back tending to a food cart, dressed and painted as a clown, scowling.

*Back to the Present*

"I hate that fucking clown", Blitzø, Octavia, and, surprisingly, Roman said at the same time. Blitzø and Octavia gave Roman a confused look.

"Octavia told me a lot about him when she was young. Anything that harms the Goetia family, via physical or emotional, is something that I can't, and won't, stand for", Roman explains.

Stolas, who has been captured and hoisted aloft by the crew of imps from earlier, had his arms are bound and his head is covered by a cloth sack, and the imps are pointing various weapons at him. One has stolen Stolas's wallet.

Though, unlike Roman, Stolas is unconcerned. "Oh Blitzy! I need my bodyguard, please!"

One imp jumps, to try and skewer Stolas with a pitchfork, but Blitzø quickly brings his rifle to bear, shooting the imp in the torso, splattering Stolas's head with blood. The other imps quickly scatter.

Octavia enters the big top and finds a seat. Roman carries Stolas in, head still covered in the blood-soaked sack, he sets him down as Blitzø walks off to take position. Stolas makes no move to remove the sack until Octavia annoyedly rips it off her father's head.

Blitzø looks around the crowd to kill someone but finds Jess sitting in the front row, laughing with an imp he doesn't recognize. He whistles loud enough to get her attention. "One minute, Tourmaline. My boss needs me" she tells the imp before walking towards Blitzø. "Is my break over?" she asks him.

"No. Because I see that you made a new friend", he gestures to Tourmaline. "But if things go south, I'll fuck her up. And I'll let you choose the weapon".

"Shut up! You know she's right there!", Jess laughs and punches his arm. "But I appreciate that. Even though you know that I could stick a knife through her head if she messes with any of us. But still, thanks". She gives Blitzø a quick hug before heading back to Tourmaline. As she walks away, Blitzø sighs and blushes slightly.

The show suddenly begins and a jester designed animatronic appears on the stage. "Hey hey hey hey hey, implings! It's me, the Robotic Fizzarolli! Shipped from Big Ozzie's factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo Land, spelled with 'O's, to avoid lawsuits! Hit it!"

♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫
♫ Everybody sing along with the Loo Loo band ♫
♫ Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man ♫
♫ Loves Loo Loo Land! ♫

♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫
♫ Everything is beautiful at Loo Loo Land ♫
♫ Ugly children holdin' hands ♫
♫ In Loo Loo Land! ♫

♫ Everybody's friendly, and nobody is mean ♫
♫ No copyright infringement's ever seen ♫
♫ I have a dream (he has a dream) ♫
♫ I'm here to tell (he's here to tell) ♫
♫ About a magical fantastic place called Loo Loo Land! ♫

Octavia is sitting and absorbing the musical with disgusted boredom.

*Meanwhile with Moxxie and Millie*

Outside, Moxxie and Millie walk along a row of game booths, when they are addressed by one of the vendors.

"Hello, hello! Step right up and win a thing!", said a random carnie.

Millie gasps excitedly as she points at a thing. "Oh, look Moxxie! A thing!"

The "thing" in question is some sort of purple stuffed penguin creature with imp horns, wearing pink overalls. The stuffed animal is labeled with a tag that says "THING?"

"Oh, you like that thing?" Moxxie smirks.

"YEEEEESSS! I don't really know what that thing is but I want that thing!"

"Finally, some 'thing' I can handle". Moxxie takes out some money and hands it to the carnie. "Okay! One game, please!"

The carnie rolls his eyes and uses his tail to hand Moxxie a pistol with a cork projectile in the muzzle. Moxxie does not even line up the shot, instead looking to his wife as he effortlessly hits the target right in the bullseye. Unbeknownst to Moxxie, the target barely moves. He makes a "ricochet" noise with his mouth and blows the black powder smoke clear of the gun, pleased with his marksmanship.

"Strike one, little man!" mocked the carnie

"But I hit it!" Moxxie told him.

"Hmmm, I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. The target, see? It didn't go down. So yeah, no go, bro"

Moxxie growls in anger, and fishes another bill out of his pocket. He grabs the pistol and fires another cork, hitting the target dead-center. The target does not budge, so Moxxie slaps the pistol in annoyance. "The Heaven's wrong with this thing?!"

"Oh man, a real shame I tell ya", the carnie mockingly cries.

Moxxie hisses in anger as he slaps another bill on the counter. "Another!"

*Back to Robo Fizz's show*

Stolas is gleefully clapping to the music, while Octavia has thrown her head back in torment, banging her fist on the seat next to her. Roman is just reading a "Twilight" book out of boredom, and Tourmaline sways her head to the beat, while Jess cringes slightly. She recognizes Robo Fizz from somewhere but can't seem to place it.

♫ --sing along with the Loo Loo band! Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Land! ♫

The show ends with a small pyrotechnic display, as one of the animatronics falls to pieces onstage.

"Oh hohohoho, how delightful!", Stolas claps.

"That's my friend up there!" Tourmaline cheers. Robo Fizz spots her in the front row and rushes to give her a kiss on the hand before returning on stage, all in a flash.

"He's a fast one, I'll give you that", Jess tells Tourmaline as she giggles.

Behind Stolas, an imp armed with a keris rises from beneath the seats ready to stab Stolas, but his head is quickly blown apart by Blitzø, who has taken up a position in the gallery behind the back row of seats while imps scream in absolute fear and run away.

"Oh! My, what good aim you have, Blitzy!", Stolas continues to flirt with him.

Roman closed his book and sighed. "With all due respect Stolas, I thought we were here to have fun".

"Oh, we are! Roman, you worry too much. Try to be more like Blitzy" Stolas tells him.

"I'm not worried! And I think rather be anyone besides that disrespectful little-"

"Ugh! I can't do this anymore!", Octavia stops Roman mid-sentence and storms off, leaving him and Stolas looking very concerned.

"Octavia!"

"Sweetie, come back!"

The two demons follow her as Blitzø cycles his rifle and prepares to give chase after his charges. "Hey, Jess! Your break is over! We gotta go!" he calls after her.

Jess stands up and nods before running after Stolas and the others, leaving Tourmaline alone as she glares at Blitzø.

Robo Fizz then spots Blitzø and laughs. "Ha ha ha hoho-oh! Is that Blitzo my sensors spot up there? I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh?"

"The 'O' is silent now!" Blitzø glares at him.

"Aww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here!" Robo Fizz dances and laughs.

"Bitch, I make more money killing people than you do being a cheap-ass robo-ripoff of an overrated sell-out jester!" Blitzø insults him back.

Tourmaline stands up from her seat and turns to Blitzø. "Hey! Nobody talks to Fizz like that! Not even a lowlife washup jackass like you!"

"Listen, bitch, I don't care if you're Jess' friend! I can beat the shit out of you with my bare hands if I wanted to!", Blitzø yells at her.

"Oh, you're her boss? I honestly thought that someone like her would be working for someone more successful and less like a prick. She could honestly get a better job", Tourmaline crosses her arms.

"Oh, like working on unrealistic robots that serve no purpose other than to be slutty bitchy assholes like you? Yeah, looks like I'm not the wash-up here, am I?"

"Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not though, because of her and her amazing technician skills, people love me! Does anybody love you, BLITZO?" Robo Fizz tells Blitzø.

"No. But I'm really good with guns now. Dance, bitch!" Blitzø slams a new magazine into his rifle, switches it to full-auto, and opens up on Robo Fizz, who cartwheels out of the way of the incoming rounds.

Tourmaline runs up to Blitzø and tries to grab his rifle from him, to which he wrestles with her for a bit until he accidentally pulls the trigger on her and shoots her in the stomach. She passes out, still alive, and Robo Fizz watches the whole scene.

He becomes filled with anger and proceeds to rapidly spin like a wheel, rolling up the stair to where Blitzø is. He coils himself around him like a snake, before using his own momentum to launch Blitzø through the top of the tent.

Outside, Wally Wackford rolls a cart of lit torches in by the tent. Blitzø lands on the cart, scattering the torches everywhere, which light the big top on fire. The fire very rapidly spreads to all corners of the park. Rapidly burning and melting animatronics flee the tent, as Robo Fizz cackles with demonic glee at the destruction while Tourmaline manages to escape with a burned hand.

He turns to her, looking very concerned, but she gestures to Blitzø directions. "Go get that fucker!" she encourages him. He smiles as he obeys her and Tourmaline follows him to watch the fight.

*Elsewhere*

The carnie at the shooting gallery holds 600 souls of Moxxie's money. "Wow! Man, you're really starting to make this sad. You know, if you suck, you suck! Guess you won't win your honey here a prize".

"Let me try!" Millie grabs the pistol and fires a cork at a target, which misses wildly. The carnie grins mischievously and presses a foot pedal in the booth, which causes a target to fall down.

"Oh, look at that! Lucky shot, baby."

"Are you kidding me?! You- you- you charlatan!" Moxxie complains.

The carnie shoves Moxxie aside and leans closer to Millie. "Hey uh, get lost, pipsqueak. I'm talkin' to the lady." He makes a purring sound with his tongue at her and Millie immediately recoils in disgust.

In the back, Blitzø and Robo Fizz continue to battle against each other as the fires spread. Blitzø is launched into the air, and comes down through the roof of the shooting gallery, crushing the carnie under him.

Moxxie becomes surprised. "Sir?"

Blitzø is slightly dazed but snaps out of it quickly. "Oh, hey guys! You should probably go uh, help Jess make sure Stolas is okay. I got some... unfinished business to take care of."

The two imps run off as Blitzø draws his flintlock pistol, cocks it, and fires. The impact spins Robo Fizz's head around, but when he spins his head back, he is revealed to be unharmed by the shot, having caught the bullet in his teeth.

"Oh, what a mouth!" Blitzø immediately grimaces when he realizes what he just said. Robo Fizz coils himself up into his rolling form again, charging straight at Blitzø. He leaps out of the way as his enemy hit the booth, destroying it in a large explosion. Several pieces of shrapnel and burning "things" Moxxie attempted to win shoot in all directions.

*Elsewhere*

Stolas is still running after his daughter, with Roman doing the same.

"Octavia!"

"Just leave me alone!"

Octavia runs into a building called the "Fun House." Inside, Roman and Stolas are confronted with a surreal room of eyes, tubes, spikes, mirrors, and disembodied hands. They go further into the room, looking around for where Octavia could have gone.

A shadow then appears behind Stolas, as a random imp jumps upon his back, slightly scaring Roman.

Stolas, on the other hand, is annoyed. "Um, I think I'm supposed to be bodyguarded right now!"

The imp covers Stolas's mouth with his shirt sleeve but is suddenly shot in the head and falls to the ground. Jess, Moxxie, and Millie appear in the entryway, Jess having just shot the imp with a pistol.

Stolas dusts himself off. "Ugh, that's better. Where is Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you littler ones."

Millie tries to explain. "He's uh... busy."

"Being a fool." Moxxie adds as he gives Millie the "Thing" they won earlier.

"What kind of fool?" Roman asks.

"The 'everything is now on fire' kind," Jess explains further as Moxxie looks at her confused. "What? Don't act like I don't know who my friends are... and the things they do".

Stolas and Roman leave the imps, dodging between two swinging pendulums, and head down a tunnel into an adjoining room. There, they see Octavia riding in circles in apple-themed rail cars, crying.

Roman taps on Stolas' arm before they continue. "Should I leave?"

Stolas looks at him shocked. "Why would I want you to leave?"

"This is a family issue. I'm not in the family, therefore I think you should handle this with her alone". Roman attempts to walk away but Stolas stops him.

"You have been with us for years. You cared for us and helped us when we needed it. You are a part of this family, whether you want it or not. So... you're coming to help me", Stolas and Roman share a smile before heading towards Octavia.

"Octavia..." Stolas discards the Loo Loo Land hat, which in response to his emotional state has gone from a goofy grin to a sad frown. "I take it you are... not having fun."

"I didn't even want to come here!" Octavia curls up.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. W-we thought you loved it here." Roman pats her shoulder.

"When I was a kid and my parents didn't hate each other, and my dad didn't flirt with some weird red dickhead the entire time." Octavia sniffs in sadness.

"I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's a lot I uh-- I should have listened." Stolas tells her.

"I just want to go home, but home doesn't even feel like home anymore. You ruined it."

"You need to understand, your mother and I... I just--I felt-- she's always been... I haven't been--we weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words." Stolas struggles to talk.

Roman tries to help. "It's just... complicated, Octavia. We want you to understand, but I'm not sure if we can tell you without making it more confusing or upsetting".

Octavia nods to Roman before turning to Stolas. "Are you going to run off with him? And both you and Roman leave me behind? Go away where... I can't find you two?"

"What?" Stolas and Roman say at the same time in surprise.

"Octavia, honey, it won't even take the end of time and space itself for me to leave the one family I've grown to care about the most. And I've known your father for a very very long time. He may do a lot of bad things, but abandoning you would never be one of those things. Am I wrong, Stolas?", Roman looks at Stolas with a supporting grin.

"No! No, no, never. I'd never do that. Never." Stolas embraces his daughter and even pulls Roman in the hug. And though he was hesitant at first, he returned the hug and felt happy for the two.

"Maybe we should all leave this place", Roman suggests.

"Sure, Roman. And you were right, Via. You are too old for it anyway".

Stolas carries Octavia out of the Fun House and Roman follows, as an imp grins maniacally in the space above the drop ceiling, looking down on Stolas. The imp drops down and flicks open a switchblade. Stolas immediately turns around, eyes glowing brightly. The imp is immediately turned to stone on the spot and is knocked over by a pendulum.

Outside, the park has been reduced to pandemonium as dusk falls. Millie attempts to shoot at Robo Fizz, who rolls around wildly. The robot is caught by the draconic creature Moxxie is riding, and almost gets swallowed whole, as Tourmaline manages to push him out of the way.

Stolas, Roman, and Octavia leave the park gates, ignoring the whole thing. "So, what would you like to do now?" Stolas asks his daughter.

"Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? They sell weird taxidermy there", Octavia suggests.

"Hmmm. Okay..." Stolas answers reluctantly.

"Whatever you want. Just as long as we set a limit", Roman adds.

Octavia laughs. "Sure, Roman. And thanks, dad. You're both okay sometimes."

"Thank you, Via. Thank you", Stolas says as a massive explosion rocks the park, sending the employees of I.M.P. hurtling through the air, screaming. All four land in front of Stolas, Roman, and Octavia.

"Way to ruin another good thing, sir!" Moxxie says to Blitzø.

"Worth it! That slutty toy clown had it coming!"

Moxxie and Blitzø fall unconscious, a stray animal grabs Millie by the hair and drags her away, and Jess looks back at the burning park and scoffs before passing out. "Just when I thought she could've been a good friend".

*Bonus Scene*

Hours after Loo Loo Land burned to the ground, Tourmaline was in her apartment, working on how to fix Robo Fizz.

"Hold still! You're a lot harder to fix than I thought"

"But I thought you like a challenge. And I should be the one worried about y-y-you. You were shot in the gut, and your hand was burned to a crisp".

Tourmaline placed her now robotic hand on his, causing him to give a sad smile. Her hand was beyond repair, but she didn't believe that. "I'm fine. And at least we share more in common now", she smirks. "I promise you this; Blitzo is getting what's coming to him".

She grabs some more tools to continue working but grabs her stomach in pain for a few seconds. She was bandaged up, but she didn't want to wait to heal. She got up slowly and gestured to Robo Fizz that she was fine. "But for now... let's try to see if we can focus on upgrading myself".

Chapter Text

Blitzø and the crew were driving their gray van along the street. Loona is sitting in the passenger seat next to Blitzø. She looks mildly annoyed when he started singing along with a song that came on the radio. Moxxie covers his somehow non-existing ears in the back, and Jess is reading a magazine while Millie rolls down her window and smiles.

They drive into an old crowded parking lot to park the van, but a pink car pulls into the remaining parking space.

"Holy shit-!" Blitzø slams onto the brakes and the van skids to a stop. He turns off the radio and glares at the person in the pink car. He glances at the license plate, which reads 'SUCKS-4-LIFE'. "Oh, you "suck for life", do ya?!"

Jess hands him a megaphone. "Here. You do the scolding and I'll do the scratching".

Blitzø nods in agreement and yells into the megaphone as Jess steps out of the van and towards the car. "Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your dick out of my parking spot..."

A woman steps out of her car with high heels, causing Jess to freeze the moment she recognized the woman, and Blitzø lowers the megaphone, feeling shocked. "Oh shit! Verosika!"

Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops. "Blitzo. Jessie."

"I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles. Which is odd because I believe the nearest ocean is..." Blitzø falls and faceplants onto the ground before Jess walks over to help him stand up. "...three rings down!"

"And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts", Verosika holds her flask.

"Oh yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!"

Verosika flips her long hair back dramatically. "They let me out because I'm still famous, and rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups." Verosika takes a drink from her bottle and wipes her mouth with her thumb. "...So your sister says hi."

Jess angrily steps in front of Verosika. "Okay, bitch, if you were insulting me, I'd laugh. But since you're taking this to another level with him, then you've got another thing coming!"

"Blitzo, please call off your bitchy girlfriend. She's non-threatening and it's really pathetic!", Verosika shoves Jess to the side.

Blitzø helps Jess back on her feet as she tries to clarify what she just heard. "Uh, first off, we aren't dating. And second, if we were, I'd do something way worse than just having the urge to cut you in your sleep!"

"Still jealous, Jessie? I thought you'd be over it after you both left. But I guess some things never change".

"Is there a problem Verosika? Do I need to..." An incubus steps out of Verosika's car. He had black hair, pinkish-red skin, a white polo shirt, a dark pink jacket, and black jeans. He took one look at Blitzø and Jess and grew a mischievous smile on his face. "Well, if it isn't Blitzo, the jackass ex-boyfriend, and Jessie, the heartless asshole. Verosika told me a lot about you two". He leans close to Jess, making her feel uncomfortable. "I gotta say, enemy or not, you kind of are cute... for an imp".

Blitzø stands next to Jess and pulls her away from the incubus as they both grow more furious. "The name's Jess, not Jessie. And you might want to think twice before saying something like that again", Blitzø tries to defend Jess. "Who the hell even are you anyway?"

"I'm Justin. An old partner of Verosika. She came to work with me again once you two broke up. Celebrity couples, they don't ever last, do they?", he winked at Jess, making her even redder from anger.

Blitzø moved Jess to the side and then turned to Verosika to continue to scold her. "Anyway, why are you parking here?! This is the only parking spot my company has. So take your tampon race car somewhere else".

"Actually, prick, it has my name on it", Verosika points down to her name written in purple spray paint by their feet. I.M.P is crossed out on the ground. "I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely-more successful companies in the building".

"No way...", Loona watches from the van in awe.

"And they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break", Verosika finished.

"A week?! No, no, you are not parking here for a fucking week!"

Verosika removes her sunglasses, looking all smug. "Aw, you mad, Blitzo? You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car..."

Blitzø, Jess, and Justin catch on to what she's saying and continue her sentence with her as they roll their eyes. "...and run three rings to Wrath and max my credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!"

"God damn it whore, you will not let that go!" Blitzø stomps in anger.

"Choke on a sandpaper cock", Verosika flips him the bird and walks away with Justin while Loona fearfully lowers her head in the van.

Blitzø follows Verosika and Justin as he continues to yell at her. "Hold on, you better move that pussy wagon right now or I'm gonna..." He gets cut off as a towering muscular Hellhound man appears behind him and growls.

"You'll what?"

Blitzø glances around and stutters in fear. "Or I'll... um... I'll call HR." After a second of awkward silence, Verosika, Justin, Blitzø, and the Hellhound laugh as if they were in a sitcom, but then suddenly went back to being serious.

"Anyway, meet my new Hellhound, Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well", Verosika leaves with her bodyguard and partner as she flips Blitzo off. "Ta ta, fuck stain."

Jess keeps her glare on Verosika. "What a bitch. I told you that keeping her around was an awful idea. And if I see that Justin guy again, I'm going to bring out the nuke on him and his boss".

"Ugh, I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that", Blitzø mumbled, but Jess was still able to hear it.

Loona then steps out of the van. "You know Verosika Mayday?!"

"Huh? Oh yeah, her, yeah, we dated", Blitzø crossed his arms.

"Was it before or after she became a pop star?" Millie asks.

"You dated a pop star?!" Moxxie steps out of the van.

"Yes, he did!" Jess gets annoyed.

"Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?" Blitzø asks them.

"Hel-lo. It's Verosika Mayday?" Loona says.

"It's you?" Millie says.

Moxxie scratches his head. "I just... Is she blind? Suffering some form of brain damage?"

"Believe me, Moxxie, I assume it was those things too when he told me", Jess tells him.

"Okay look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives"

Everyone yells at Blitzø in disagreement.

"What was sex with her like?", Millie asks.

Moxxie then becomes taken aback by Millie's question. "Millie!"

"What?! It's a pop star! You'd wanna know what sex with Michael Crawford was like", Millie reminds him.

Moxxie opens his mouth to argue but stops instead. "Touché."

"Okay look, let's just drop it! Millie, find a temporary spot for that truck. Okay Loonie, Moxxie, Jess, let's go handle this shit". Blitzø tosses Millie some keys and she gleefully catches them before running off.

*Inside the Building*

Loona, Moxxie, Jess, and Blitzø step out of an elevator. Loona walks nervously forward. "You think they saw me? Fuck! I did my makeup shitty today."

Blitzø smiles at her with shining eyes. "Oh, you look perfect, Loonie. Like always."

Loona narrows her eyes and scowls. "Shut up, da—". Blitzø looks at her with adoration on his face. Loona catches herself and shoves him aside. "Urgh! Blitzø!"

Jess then walks by Loona's side. "He's not wrong though. Coming from another woman, you look great. But just make sure to double-check, just to be safe".

Loona smiles at Jess, "Thanks mo—". Jess looks at her with a surprised face. "Uh... I mean Jess", Loona felt embarrassed as she caught herself almost saying something else again. She tried to hide it by checking her face in a handheld mirror, stepping over Blitzø before accidentally bumping into Vortex. She looks up, once again, in embarrassment. "Oh. Whoa."

Vortex glances down at Loona. She blushes and wags her tail. Blitzø smiles at her before he gasps in shock. He moves between Loona and Vortex, his arms out. "Hi, big man. Where's your bitch bag of an employer?"

Vortex mentions to a nearby room with neon pink hearts over double doors. "V" and "M" are spray-painted on the door windows. "She's in her office. There wasn't room on the second floor so they rented one here on this one. Cheaper..."

"Oh come on!", Blitzø complains.

Vortex scoffs before walking away. "Sorry, man."

"Oh no you don't, bitch." Blitzø mutters.

"Sir, how about you let me go in and try to reason with her? I don't really listen to what's classified as 'pop genre' music, so her status to me is name recognition alone..." Blitzø tunes Moxxie out with a glare.

"Moxxie, shut the fuck up," Blitzø tells him.

"All righty then." Moxxie pushes open the doors and goes inside.

"I'm going to go make sure he doesn't get into deeper shit", Jess follows Moxxie.

The silhouettes of Jess, Moxxie, Verosika, and her gang of demons are seen through the glass window. "Hello Miss Verosika, was it? I work for I.M.P and it is actually rather important for us to retain the singular parking space we were assigned because-"

One of the succubi points to Moxxie and cuts him off. "Aw, look at the little one. He's got a wittle bow tie."

"Please don't condescend me, ma'am." Moxxie says.

"Want a kissy, little guy?" an incubus asks him.

Jess steps in front of Moxxie and tries to defend him as if she was an overprotective sister. "He's married, thank you very much. So, don't get ideas, whore!"

"Hey, take it easy, Jessie. We can give you a little sugar too if you want", Justin seductively says.

Jess backs away from him a bit, with Moxxie still in her protection. "You're already on my blacklist, buddy! So, don't make it worse!"

The gang of demons surrounds the two as Verosika talks to them. "Hey, why don't you two send a little message from me back to your limp-dick boss?"

Knowing what's coming, Jess pushes Moxxie out the door but accidentally traps herself as she gets sexually assaulted by the succubi gang.

"Get the fuck off me!!!"

Blitzø races and bangs his hands against the window. "Leave her alone you slutty assholes!"

Jess races back into the hall, panting with her back against the door. She's battered and shaken with red lipstick kisses all over her face.

Moxxie and Loona both rush to her side. "Are you okay? That did not look pleasant", Moxxie tells her.

"I... I think I need... to lie down now... please", Jess passes out and Loona catches her.

"This is my fault. Maybe talking wasn't really a good choice... Sir?", Moxxie turns to Blitzø, who looks like he's really to blow more than just a fuse as he stares at Jess' unconscious body.

"Oh, this won't STAND!"

Blitzø shoves both doors open, causing Verosika and her gang to notice. "All right *****! That's it!". Blitzø stomps toward Verosika in fueled anger. "No one EVER messes with Jess like that. So if you're gonna be shitty to my employees, and especially my best friend, then I challenge you to a fucking... challenge! Fuck, I said that twice".

"Mmmm. Is this imp boy starting a demon duel?" another succubus asks.

"I think he is." Verosika leans in toward Blitzø. "What's the game then, Blitzo?"

"Every year, you STD spreaders go up topside for easy pickings while spring break is a prime time for crime of all kinds. So I bet... you succu-bitches can't fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day." The succubi gang laugh. Blitzø glares in determination and they stop laughing.

"Oh, you're serious?" Verosika leans in close to Blitzø's face, speaking in a low whisper. "Game on, bitch."

*Later at I.M.P headquarters*

Blitzø stands in front of the whiteboard. Behind him is an easel with drawings on paper. The other I.M.P members sit at a table and listen. "Alright, shut your assholes, here's how we're going to do this shit. First, we find a fuck ton of clients. We portal up. We have our fun murder time as per usual. We pile all the bodies into a big fucking canoe. We push said canoe into some water. We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles and maybe a goose, too. Fuck it. They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet... We rub it in that sloppy bitch's drunken whore ass face. Do you have any questions?"

"Uh, yeah. Why was that nonsense?"

Blitzø walks over to Moxxie. "That wasn't a question."

"That wasn't a plan."

Jess raises her hand. "Actually that was a question and that was a plan, but they were just both stupid".

Blitzø puts a hand around Moxxie and turns to Jess. "I'm sorry, but that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Jess. It's not my fault he's got a smooth little brain upstairs and it's rubbing off on you".

"A what now?", Moxxie asks.

"I'm calling you slow, Moxxie. God, why don't you learn to take criticism, you talentless baby dick troll?" Blitzø points several times into Moxxie's chest.

In anger, Moxxie stands up on the table and points at Blitzø. "Well, why don't you take an art class?"

Blitzø grabs Moxxie and throws him back on his chair. "Why don't you see how expensive they are?!"

"And why don't you two stop screaming like jerks?!" Jess joins in.

"Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?", Loona asks after the yelling.

Jess calms herself down before answering. "Sure, Loona. I don't see why not".

Blitzø crosses his arms in disapproval. "Absolutely not. I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. Spring break is no place for young vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of freaks up there who'd drool all over you!"

All five characters stare at the camera, breaking the fourth wall.

"Well, I can blend in with humans easy enough. Just let me tag along", Loona says.

"Wait, say that again", Blitzø tells her

Loona repeats herself. "... I can blend in...?"

"Do you have a human disguise?", Millie asks.

"Yeah. Don't you?"

The imps nervously look at each other, eyes side to side.

"You four have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time without human disguises?!" Loona then turns to her side, where Jess is sitting. "I honestly thought better of you".

Jess rolls her eyes. "Well, blame Blitzø the boss. I was working on one, but he never let me bring it out of my closet".

"Okay, new plan!" Blitzø scribbles on a piece of paper and hangs it on the easel. It shows Loona surrounded by humans with hearts around them. "Loonie can help lure the humans to us and we'll take care of the rest. Okay, how about that?"

"Flawless logic", Millie supports.

"I wouldn't say 'flawless', but the best logic, no less", Jess gives Blitzø a thumbs up.

"I think you're missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn't it crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren't just going up to massacre." Moxxie points out.

"I got that covered, Mox."

*Later*

Blitzø puts up a ratty flyer reading "Spring Break Victim, 50% Off!" with drawings of himself, a dead victim and horses.

"Now, we wait."

"Sir, there is no way we are going to get enough clients by the end of the day with one poorly spelled bad grammar flyer!", Moxxie complains.

"Well, you never know, Moxxie. People go for any type of advertisement these days if it has what they want for a low price", Jess tells him.

The three imps look to see demons lining up, looking at the flyer. "See what I mean?" Jess grins smugly as Blitzø elbows Moxxie before strolling toward the other demons.

"Now, who's first?"

*To a Beach in the Human World*

People happily walk around, relax and talk on the beach, while Blitzø, Jess, Moxxie, Millie and Loona hide behind coral-covered rocks under a dock.

"Now remember, we can't be seen, alright? And loose shots will likely cause a panic, so Loona can help with leading targets to a better spot to off them". Blitzø explains the plan. "You got the list, Loonie?"

Loona skims a long list in her hands and gives it a sniff. "Got it." She stands up and in a swirling flash of blue light and turns into a human version of herself. The imps stare in shock.

"Oh Loonie, look at you! You look downright awful! I am so proud." Blitzø gets teary-eyed as Loona glares at him. "Now fetch!"

Loona peers in front of her, her target humans outlined in red in her vision. Loona smirks and strolls over to a tall man wearing sunglasses. She moves a finger toward his chest and gives him a flirtatious grin. She motions behind her and to a private alleyway. Loona leads him into the alleyway and leans against the wall. The man reaches out to grab her in lust but is shot in the head by Blitzø spying on the roof. He gives Loona a thumbs up.

Later, a blonde man runs to her in an alleyway with a hungry lustful look on his face. He is caught in a noose by Blitzø. On a rooftop, a brown-haired man leans in to kiss Loona, but Millie knocks him off the roof with a kick. The man falls into a dumpster that Moxxie slams shut. Loona walks with a fat man down the sidewalk and Jess makes a flower pot crash into his head. Blitzø kills a woman with a knife, Millie kills a white-haired woman with a spiked baseball bat, and another woman gets shot in the head by Jess.

*One Killing Spree Later*

Blitzø and the gang put the bodies in bloodstained dark trash bags, closing them.

Jess walks up to Blitzø, helping him with one of the bodies. "You're tying the bag wrong. It's supposed to be like this". She grabs his hands and shows him how to do a better knot. But instead of paying attention, Blitzø just stared at Jess and blushed redder at her touch. It sent a few shivers down his spine and made his heart beat slightly faster.

He knew about his weird romantic feelings toward his best friend. And he tried to push them away as much as he could, but they always came back. And they came back worse every time. So, he hoped she wouldn't notice when he couldn't get the feelings to leave at all. The last thing he wanted was to ruin their friendship and get his heart broken by the only person who stood by him since childhood.

Jess turned to Blitzø when she finished but he looked away and cleared his throat before talking again. "*ahem* Well, *ahem* anyway, that's nine kills in the bag! I like to see that waily snatch orgasm that many..."

"All right spring breakers! Y'all ready to get fucked up and make some bitchin' bad choices?!" Verosika appears on a stage in her human disguise as the crowd cheers for her and white teen cheers "Verosika!" and has her name written on his chest. "This is your final boarding call, All aboard~" Verosika performs on stage as "Fuck you Blitzo" appears on the screens. Blitzø growls like a rabid animal with droll foaming from his mouth.

Verosika: ♫ Pack your bags ♫
♫ Sun's out ♫
♫ Take a Vacay babe ♫
♫ Take it straight to Bonetown ♫

Humans make out with others around them. They kiss, hug, and grind on each other. A disguised succubus shows a human a popsicle with semen-like saliva on it as several other succubi and incubi grin and sneak up on the humans.

♫ V-time, free time, baby relax ♫
♫ Self-care, no hair, Brazilian wax ♫
♫ Hornt up succu-bus to the beach ♫
♫ Catch some rays while catching some D ♫

"God dammit, that bitch started her goatish mating call! Now she's gonna win all those sex maniacs. We gotta pick things up, guys! He on the list, Loonie?" Blitzø gestures to a vomiting blonde man next to him.

"Huh? Yeah... I-I think so." A distracted Loona looks at Vortex guarding the stage, to which Jess takes notice.

"Good!" Blitzø takes out an axe to kill the blonde man.

"Whoa, what are you? A leprechaun?"

"Oh yeah, pretty cool, huh?" Blitzø smashes his head with his sharp ax. "But you sure as shit ain't gonna tell nobody. All right, next one, Loonie, come on. Loonie- Wait where-" Blitzø glances around to find Loona nowhere in sight. "Wha- Wha -Where's my baby?!" he panics.

"I see her! She's in the crowd!", Jess tells him.

"Look!" Millie points.

Blitzø's concerned face then turned into an angry one.

Loona walks over toward Vortex, avoiding a French-kissing couple and tossing aside a bra.

A fanboy runs toward Verosika on stage but Vortex punches him into the ground, head first. He drags the man away in the distance.

Loona sees him and tries to go towards him as a male incubus smirks at her, eyebrows raised. She backhands him hard.

"Now, who wants a piece of this?!" Verosika tosses her bottle into the ocean, creating a golden portal. A fish appears, which rapidly grows into a monster.

Meanwhile, Loona walks over nervously toward Vortex. "Heyyyy... you..."

"Hey. You're the hound working for my boss's freaky ex," he responds to her.

"Yeah. Sorry if that's weird."

"It's cool. Her beef ain't mine. I'm not paid enough to care."

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm Loona!", Loona says in a nervous tone and awkward smile.

"Okay. I'm Vortex!", he repeats her nervous tone and smile.

"That's hot. I mean like literally you know because vortexes, you know, they give off heat. Probably. Right?" Loona blushes as she struggles to fix her mistake.

Vortex shrugs. "Uh, yeah. I guess. But my friends call me Tex."

"Oh yeah? I wish I had friends". Loona laughs nervously. "I mean no, I mean, I don't. I... I don't have friends."

Blitzø and Jess arrive and stand between them.

"Are we interrupting something?" Blitzø asks sarcastically.

"Nah, man. Just having a conversation", Vortex tells him.

"'Conversation' leads to HPV!" Blitzø points at him.

"Blitzø! Let's not try to over-exaggerate, please!" Jess tells him.

Moxxie and Millie hide behind metal beer cans. "And... we've lost him." Moxxie sighs. "And Jess is with him, so it's looking like it's up to us to handle this list".

"Hell yeah! Team M&M, getting shit down, making the moneys!", Millie exclaims as the two imps run off to kill more people.

"Blitzø, get the fuck out of here! You're gonna get us all into shit!" Loona tells him.

"I just wanted to see what was so important that you'd be distracted from your job." Blitzø says.

"Blitzø, just give her a break. It's not a big deal", Jess tries to help Loona, making her smile a bit.

"We have a parking spot on the line!", Blitzø yells at her.

"Hey dude. Why don't you chill out?", Vortex asks him.

"Why don't you stay out of it? Okay, this is our business. Literally".

Loona groans in frustration. "Fuck, Blitzø! Why can't you stay out of my face for like five minutes?!"

"Because I adopted you! And that should mean something!"

"Oh, what does it matter? You're not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!"

"Loona! Okay, now you're taking things a bit over the edge! There was no need to say that! And so what if he's not your real dad?! It still counts!", Jess starts to get angry.

"Shut up, Jess! He can defend himself, and you know what I'm saying is true! And besides, you shouldn't have a say in this because You! Are! Not! Family! Just some confused imp who doesn't have a purpose other than to exist", Loona passes her anger to her, causing Jess to hold in tears.

"Hey! She has plenty of reason to exist because she is family! So everything she says to you, along with me, still counts!", Blitzø defends Jess.

"Well it shouldn't! I didn't need her or you then, asshole! I don't now".

Jess rubs her hand on her arm, feeling both sad and shocked at the argument. "Loona... Blitzø..." She didn't know how to start her sentence and felt something metaphorically punch her in the gut once she saw Blitzø's face. She then ran off to the other side of the beach, leaving the demons alone.

*Meanwhile with Millie & Moxxie*

Millie and Moxxie hide behind a table with steel barrels of beer. Millie loads a crossbow for Moxxie to take it. He peeks over and prepares to shoot when a human man comes over and throws the beer can down.

"Yeah! Party!"

The man knocks the cans aside, sending Moxxie and Millie into the air. Moxxie lands in front of dozens of people and a woman points at Moxxie in disgust. "Ewww! Oh my god! It's a fucking possum!"

"Oh, crumbs!" Moxxie tries to get away, but one of the party-goers catches him by the tail.

The guy picks up Moxxie and shoves him into a barrel of beer. The group cheers about "Beer possum" as they carry the barrel away. Moxxie drinks the beer inside and gets drunk.

*Back to Loona & Blitzø*

Loona tries to say something to an upset Blitzø, who crosses his arms. "Uh... Blitzø... I'm-"

"Enjoy your break, Loonie. I'm gonna go take Jess to kill something to cheer her up!", Blitzø walks off to where Jess is at.

"Damn, girl. That was savage. You okay?" Vortex places a comforting hand on Loona's shoulder.

Loona blushes, "Yeah, I'm fine. They'll get over it. They always do".

"I'm glad you could stick up for yourself, at least. Mmm. Takes guts".

"Thanks", Loona brushes her hair back, though she still felt slightly bad.

*On the Other Side of the Beach*

Jess was drawing in the sand with a stick, tears running down her face. She was hurt about Loona saying that she's not considered family. She may have said that it was stupid for the company to be a family before, but that didn't mean she hated the idea of it.

Before she could keep moping about the argument, she heard footsteps in the sand and looked to her side to see Blitzø about to sit next to her.

"Before you say anything, you should know that I expected myself to take that better. Instead, I just ran away like a wuss", she stood up to throw the stick into the sea and sat back down in frustration.

Blitzø places his hand on her shoulder, causing Jess to look at him. "That's not true. You're nowhere near Moxxie's level of being a wuss".

Jess rolled her eyes, still frowning. "But that's not the point! It's the fact that Loona, someone I've considered a daughter, told me something that I tried to ignore for a long time since I lived with my parents: that I have no purpose and that I can't even be a part of this fucked up family" Jess sighed and started to cry again. "My mom was right. I'll never belong anywhere. Not Heaven, not Earth, not Hell, nowhere".

Blitzø awkwardly placed his hand on Jess' face and wiped her tears, causing her to turn to him in surprise. "Loonie doesn't mean that, she was just saying things out of anger. You know, she actually almost called you mom earlier and sometimes talks about if you two hung out a few times and how cool it would be. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's pretty fond of you".

"Really?"

"Yeah. We all are. And it's because you belong with us. You have a purpose with us. And if anyone thinks otherwise, then they're the assholes with no purpose. I should know because I've met a few of them, and let's just say that they really need a better afterlife".

Jess giggled a bit and leaned to hug Blitzø tightly. "Thanks, Blitzø. I needed to hear that". Her eyes were closed so she couldn't see the blush that appeared on Blitzø's face.

But he enjoyed the moment. Her touch, once again, sent a few satisfying shivers down his spine and made his heart beat faster. But this time, he didn't care. He hugged her back and smiled softly. "Hey, how about we go kill somebody and try to finish the list?"

"Sure, Blitzø. And by the way, in my opinion at least, you're a good dad. You just try too much. Learn to give Loona some space. She's a tough one and can handle herself from time to time", Jess tells him as Blitzø nods.

The two stood up and realized that they were holding hands. They both laughed awkwardly and blushed redder. Without thinking, Jess gave Blitzø a quick kiss on the cheek before letting his hand go, "Thanks for the talk". After Jess ran off, Blitzø froze in place and touched his cheek with his hand in shock. He then gained a huge smile, his tail curled into a heart, and he quietly said "Yes!" as he pumped his fist in the air before running after his "friend".

*Meanwhile*

Millie goes over toward a wobbling barrel. She tips it over and Moxxie and the beer spill out onto the ground.

"Moxxie!", Millie exclaims.

"Millie! Hi! Hey! Hey, when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss 'em!" Moxxie makes smooching noises as he tries to kiss his wife.

Millie picks up the drunken Moxxie. Suddenly, a fish monster lets out roars and emerges from the ocean. The monster crushes a relaxing human, sending blood everywhere. The humans scream and run away.

Blitzø and Jess look at the monster as they finish choking another man. The fish monster roars again.

"Ooooh, fish." Moxxie points as the monster wraps its tongue around him, pulls him closer and closes its mouth.

Millie kills a guy with a knife. She lights a cloth on fire and tosses a Molotov cocktail at the fish. The fish loses balance and falls down.

Millie rushes into the ocean and slices up the fish's body with her knife. She pries open the monster's mouth, seeing Moxxie punching the monster's uvula. She reaches out her hand toward Moxxie, who briefly gives her a high five. She grabs hold of him and slices the tongue, freeing both of them. Moxxie smiles, closes his eyes, and spreads his arms as he flies.

He lands in Jess's arms. A human man celebrates after avoiding getting hit by the tongue, but Blitzø kills him with his flintlock out of annoyance.

Inside the monster's mouth, Millie punches the tongue as the monster spits her out as Millie starts wrestling with it.

"I love that woman!", Moxxie's tail curls into a heart.

"Oh she totally pegs you, doesn't she?", Blitzø asks.

"Kick that monster's ass, Millie!", Jess cheers Millie on.

Millie leaps into the air with her knife and lands inside the monster. She slices off his stomach from the inside before tiredly making her way back to shore.

"Oh yeah, way to show off, Mils!" Blitzø congratulates her.

"Is Mox okay?" Millie asks.

Jess dropped Moxxie on the ground as Blitzø answers Millie. "Oh, yeah, he's fine."

Millie holds Moxxie in her arms as he grins with a doped expression. "This is funny. I'm sooooo... drinky." Moxxie says as Millie hugs him, happily laughing.

"Okay, this is too wholesome for my liking", Blitzø tells Jess.

"Don't be jealous that you're not dating a great partner", Jess playfully punches Blitzø's arm. The two then stare at each other for a few seconds and blushed with goofy smiles on their faces.

"Blitzo! Jessie!" Verosika spoke, ruining the moment and snapping the two imps back into reality.

"Oh perfect. That must be the whores!" Blitzø and the rest of the crew glare at her.

"You're one to talk. Being how I peeped your little 'moment' with Jessie just now", Justin says smugly, causing to two to blush harder this time.

"Anyway, that was handled rather... obvious, don't you think?" Verosika smirks, referring to the monster fish.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that this doesn't belong to any of us", Jess tosses the flask back to Verosika, who catches it, then drop-passes it to another succubus.

"Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world", Millie smirks along with the other imps.

Moxxie laughs, still in his drunken state. "Oh Satan! You all be so... fucked!"

"Yeah, well you four nasty ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises", Justin tries to take the heat off Verosika.

Moxxie face-plants into the sand. "A human called me a possum. I am not a possum!"

"You know, we could keep this little B movie scene on the down low if you agree to let us use that parking space", Blitzø suggests, acting smug.

"...Fine", Verosika admits in defeat.

"WHAT?!", Justin yells in shock.

"We fucking won!" Blitzø shouts in victory.

"Fuck yeah!" Millie cheers.

"In your face, bitch!"

"Boom! You stupid sluts didn't expect us to come out on top, did you?!" Jess gloats.

Verosika scoffs in annoyance. "Come on, let's get out of here. Tex!"

"Well, guess it's time to bounce, but hey, if you're ever down to party, I'll give you a ring sometime." Vortex tells Loona.

Loona's eyes sparkle at the idea. "Really? I mean, heh, yeah. Yeah."

"Yeah. My girlfriend throws a ton of crazy hound parties".

As Vortex mentions his girlfriend, Loona's expression shifts into a forced smile. "Nice. Can't wait for my first one", she responds, feeling dejected.

"Let's get you some friends, girl", Vortex chuckles as he gives Loona a playful punch before following Verosika.

Loona looks downcast at seeing Vortex leave and being reminded of her confrontation with Blitzø and Jess as well as the reveal her crush already has a partner.

"Come on, Loonie Tooney! Let's go back and park our fat fucking car in our fat fucking space!" Blitzø calls out.

Millie jumps into an opened portal while holding Moxxie, with Blitzø following them afterward. Jess was walking over to them but was stopped by Loona, who had a guilty expression. "Hey, Jess... I'm sorry for what I said earlier. About you not being... you know... family"

Jess smiled softly. "It's fine, Loona. Blitzø already had a talk with me, and I think I'm okay now. Besides, you were just talking out of anger, and I don't think I could ever stay mad at you".

Loona thanked her and walked towards the portal until she hears Jess' voice again. "I saw what happened between you and Vortex. But don't worry, because I know that there's someone else out there for you".

"Thanks, Jess. Hey, how about we hang out after this? So, I can make it up to you. Besides, you can use a break from everything... mostly from Blitzø".

The two girls looked toward the portal to see Blitzø mockingly give Verosika double middle fingers through the portal, making her growl in anger. Jess giggled at the small scene and a small blush appears on her face before she turns to Loona. "No. I don't think I'll ever get tired of him. But don't worry, we're still going to hang out".

Jess jumps into the portal while Loona falls through it backwards.

Meanwhile, Verosika and her gang huddle together in fear as guns are aimed at them, surrounded by the police. "Put your hands up, you sick deviants!"

"Alright, sluts, get ready to suck a lot of pig dick", Verosika gang all sigh and groan in disgust as they raise their hands.

Chapter Text

Heaven's golden gates open and a place called "Cherub Towne" is shown.

"Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did something good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessings!", a cherub exclaims.

*C.H.E.R.U.B. Jingle Song*

Collin: ♫ Does it make you want to cry? ♫

Keenie: ♫ When your loved one has to die? ♫

Cletus: ♫ Does it hurt you through and through? ♫

Grace: ♫ When your face is turning blue? ♫

Collin: ♫ Well luckily for you! ♫

Keenie: ♫ There's something we can do! ♫

Cletus: ♫ We can help keep them alive! ♫

Grace: ♫ So you can watch them thrive! ♫

All: ♫ 'Cause here at C.H.E.R.U.B.! ♫

Collin: ♫ We'll save your honeybun from dying violently! ♫

All: ♫ 'Cause here at C.H.E.R.U.B.! ♫

Keenie: ♫ No, we never even ask a fee! ♫

Collin: ♫ Because good people spread the love! ♫

Keenie: ♫ And we're here for all above! ♫

Cletus: ♫ We do the paperwork for you! ♫

Grace: ♫ And the heavy lifting, too! ♫

All: ♫ So sit right back! And let us bless a soul for you! ♫

♫ Oh we are the C.H.E.R.U.B.! ♫

The Cherubs appear on a small old-fashioned TV. Blitzø explodes the TV with a flintlock pistol.

"Nice one, B!" Millie compliments as Jess gives a thumbs up.

"Give me another, Mox!" Blitzø orders.

Moxxie sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old-fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face. The 666 News logo appears.

"Eh, naw, not feelin' it. Next!"

Moxxie switches the channel. A Betty Boop cartoon appears in black and white as Blitzø, Jess and Millie look bored.

"Uh-huh, keep going, keep going, keep going!"

Moxxie switches the channel again as a commercial comes is next.

"I say, I say! Are you looking to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets? Well, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea "Factory"! Where you make the things and I make the money! Please, I'm very desperate! Especially since my cousin, Tourmaline, quit her job here!"

"Bingo!" Blitzø shoots and explodes the TV again.

"Woo! You're on a roll, sir!" Millie cheers.

"Next time, let me take a few shots", Jess tells Blitzø.

Loona snores and wakes up from her canine sleep on a chair as shaking causes her cup to spill. "Guys, do you feel that?"

"Oh shit, is that a hellshake?" Blitzø asks.

"That's possible?" Moxxie asks.

"I... actually don't know", Jess answers him.

Millie holds onto Moxxie as his tail shoots up in fear. "Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!"

"I'm not "panicking," because hellquakes don't happen."

Loona roughly grabs hold of Moxxie and shakes him. "Stop getting hysterical, fatty!" She hits Moxxie against the wall before he is knocked down further by what appears to be a wrecking ball made of black tubes.

Part of the wall crumbles on top of Moxxie. The smoke clears and a supervillain demon enters the room through the hole as Loona growls on all fours.

"Do not be afraid!" The man grins and extends his metal contraptions in loops.

"Please tell me you got that insurance thing", Blitzø asks.

"So you did pay attention! See? You're making progress", Jess says feeling impressed.

Millie then takes out a sharp black axe. "Who are you and what do you want?!"

The demon slides along the black loops before he does a villainous pose between the imps. "I'm Loopty Goopty! Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopish!"

"Could've just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing", Loona says as she checks her phone.

"I am eccentric, and must therefore do eccentric shit!" Loopty does a wavy dance.

Blitzø sniffs him and flinches. "Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?"

"Yes! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me here!"

Loona taps on her phone. "Just sayin', the front door would've gotten you here fine."

"Shut up, dear furry!" Loopy tells her as she growls in anger. He then holds up an old photo of an old bald man in a bed. "This is the man I'm gonna need you to kill!"

Blitzø takes the photo from him. "Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge? I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzø, the "o" is silent". He walks over to Loopty and shakes his hand.

"What "o"?"

"Aww, thank you. Now, what's the tea, sis?"

"The tea?"

Moxxie's arm appears as he struggles under the weight of the debris. "Guys, help!"

Jess elbows Loopty. "Yeah, why are we killing this guy? I mean, what did he do to you?"

Moxxie's arm inches back as he squeals in pain. "Losing ox-!"

"He was... my business partner! You see, I was not always an old man". Loopty begins to tell his backstory. "My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, a technological empire! Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop or reverse the aging process! It could've saved all three trillionaires! Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius. But the machine was accidentally set forward! By the time we managed to get out, it was too late. At least, for me. Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire we built together! Without me to share it with him, he'll make all the goddamn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire and get all the credit!

"Yeah, that's not really evil", Blitzø points out.

"It's evil towards me!"

"Everything... is going... dark...", Moxxie says weakly since he is still stuck under the rubble.

"Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!" Loopy exclaims.

"You do know, Poopty..." Blitzø starts to talk.

"Loopty!", he corrects him.

"Of course, of course. If we do kill him though and he ends up down here, you know, you will be stuck with him, forever", Jess finishes for Blitzø.

"Oh, trust me! I'm counting on it!" Loopty summons an array of weapons with his metal tentacles: several guns, a launcher, and a spinning gear.

"That's kinda hot." Moxxie does a thumbs-up as everyone glances at him.

*Later in the Human World*

The I.M.P. crew were wearing wigs and disguises on a tour bus.

"Thanks for the extra human disguises, Jess", Millie says.

"No problem", Jess then turns to Blitzø with a smug look. "And you said they would be unnecessary, but look at their usefulness now".

Blitzø rolled his eyes and pushed Jess as she chuckled.

"Gee, I wonder whose house this is?" Moxxie looks through binoculars at a mansion.

"And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton." A tour guide states. The crowd "oohs" and takes pictures with their cell phones.

Blitzø removes his sunglasses. "Let's do it, gang!"

All the imps take out their weapons: Blitzø has a flintlock pistol, Jess has a crowbar, Moxxie has a rifle and Millie has two sharp swords. The imps jump over a fence and land in poses.

"Let's kill this rich guy!" Millie exclaims as they race over toward the windows.

"And here you'll find four tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!" The tour guide tells the people as they snap pictures.

The imps peer through the window at an old Lyle in bed.

"Wow, that machine really did a number on him." Moxxie comments.

"I don't know what's more confusing: The fact that he's still alive or the fact that we're tasked to kill something like him". Jess adds.

Lyle kisses a picture in his hands. "Goodbye, my one true love." The picture in the frame consists of dollar bills and a "free stock photos" watermark on it. "All the riches of the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty old body can't do anything of value." Lyle makes a noose out of an IV tube.

"Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!" Blitzø says.

"Should we go in there and tie it for him?" Moxxie asks.

Lyle is about to put it over his head as the imps watch with drinks and popcorn. However, the noose glows white and a force knocks the imps back. Blitzø's kitten sock flies away, making him sad.

Lyle adjusts to the light and sees the four cherubs floating down gracefully in three rays of light. "Oh lord, I'm being haunted by ugly orphan children now!"

"Who the fuck are they?!", Blitzø asks.

Moxxie's eyes widen in realization "Oh no! Sir those are..."

"Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!", Cletus greets the old man.

"I hate filthy stinking orphan children!" Lyle shakes his fist.

"We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir!" Grace exclaims.

"To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven benefited by your amazing technological advances". Collin adds.

"Oh hell no!" An angry Blitzø marches in through the window, shattering the glass and face-planting onto the floor. "Don't listen-"

The other imps enter through a door.

"Lyle Lipton, it is our-" Jess glances at Blitzø before groaning in annoyance.

"It is our humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die", Moxxie finishes for her.

"I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old and gross?" Millie asks.

"Is that a serious question? He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world!" Keenie flies around.

"And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!" Grace throws dollar bills in the air.

"No!" Lyle answers.

"He could pay for new hospitals and schools!" Collin suggests.

"Why won't you let me die?"

Blitzø appears beside Lyle. "Oh, sounds like you need help offin' yourself there, buddy. Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?"

Moxxie tosses a variety of weapons to Blitzø and Lyle. "I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas..."

Jess brings up a few weapons as well. "You almost forget the crowbar, pistol, AK-47..."

"He's classier than that!" Collin argues.

"Are you sure about that?" Jess says smugly as she points to Lyle pointing a rifle in his mouth before Collin takes it from him.

"There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle," Grace tells him.

"Yeah, right. Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months." Millie sniffs the bed before covering her mouth and vomits with Moxxie rubbing her back.

"Love can be beautiful at any age," Cletus exclaims.

"And we'll show him!" Keenie adds.

"Yeah!" C.H.E.R.U.B. cheers.

"Nooo!" I.M.P. yells.

*Later*

C.H.E.R.U.B. takes Lyle and his bed outside to a hill, overlooking a forest and a lake.

"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age... or wealth!" Cletus tells him.

"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing all of this!" Collin adds.

Blitzø appears in a tiger costume. "Mhm, you're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" he makes a gesture with his hands.

Grace cringes in disgust. "Ewww!"

Keenie gasps. "That is so inappropriate!"

Jess appears in a jaguar costume and gives Keenie two middle fingers. "Oh, kiss our ass, prude!"

Blitzø shoves Lyle aside in the face and sits next to him. "Anyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close."

Lyle looks through the binoculars Blitzø gave him and sees a group of bunnies and squirrels together. "Honestly, everything in nature is out to get each other, and it's always in a... deadly murderous kind of way. There's a reason the phrase 'Kill or be killed exists." Jess mentions in a smooth yet haunting voice as she gains a sinister expression.

The critters are suddenly eaten and torn by a pack of hungry wolves.

"Oh no!"

Collin tries to tug his binoculars away. "S-stop looking!"

But Lyle keeps holding onto them. "I can't stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"

A bear swipes a wolf to the ground and raises a paw to attack. The bear is then crushed by a falling tree, and cut up by a beefy logger with a chainsaw. A beehive lands on the man's head and he screams. Both his arms are chopped off by the chainsaw and his body is skewered by a charging stag as lightning flashes.

Everyone freezes in horror. Blitzø pretends to be shocked and smirks with Jess afterwards.

"Let's go check out someplace else!", Cletus suggests nervously as Millie and Moxxie do a fist bump in their cat costumes.

*At a Shopping Mall*

Lyle in his bed is pushed through a wall. "Oh, Lord. Where are we now? Let me perish!" Lyle complains.

"We're at a shopping mall, Mr. Lyle", exclaims Grace.

"We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for. Childhood wonderment." Keenie gestures to a crowd of kids cheering by a sitting Santa Claus. One kid wears a "craft mine" shirt, while another eats his booger.

"Why, look at those sweet diseased-ridden vermin. Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood, and their middle-class existence. Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this."

"Hey, dipshit!" Blitzø yells as he, Jess, and Millie are dressed as elves, while a grumpy Moxxie wears a reindeer costume. They stand by Santa and a kid. "Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?!" Blitzø rips off the red robe. "Santa" is revealed as an ugly gnome wearing a "Cuties" shirt, and then the gnome makes a gnome noise.

The kids scream and run and Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. A concerned Cletus and Grace push the bed away.

*In a Woods*

Lyle in bed in the woods next to a wooden sign that says 'Lover's Lookout, I guess...'

"Eh! This place reeks of teenagers!" Lyle complains again.

"Lovers' Lookout, sir!" Cletus exclaims. "We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all"

"Money!"

"No! Love!" Grace corrects him.

"I've never been in love before. I imagine it's quite nice."

"It's not too late, sir! You can still find-" Collin gets cut off as the imps arrive wearing wigs and dresses.

"Ha! Nice try, ugly." Blitzø pulls out a megaphone. "Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would fuck this old man?"

All the cars speed away in response, leaving Lyle feeling dejected.

Collin gets into Blitzø's face in anger. "You know, you four are so utterly c-c-cruel. We're just trying to give hope to someone in need!"

"Oh, and you four are so superior to us just because we want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over dead!" Moxxie replies with sass.

"You're making things too real now, Moxxie." Blitzø sprays piss from a spray bottle into Moxxie's face, making him flinch and hiss.

"Blitzø, you honestly have issues", Jess comments.

*At an Opera*

A woman dressed as a Viking on a white horse singing opera on a stage. A well-dressed man plays the piano.

The cherubs are well-dressed, too. "Behold, the wonder of art and music! Something always here to comfort, entertain and live for!" Cletus exclaims.

The Imps are up above the stage, watching as Blitzø wags his butt and tail similar to a cat.

"So, how do we make this bad?" Millie asks.

"We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact." Moxxie tells her.

Jess looks over the stage and one of the stage lights. She ends up getting an idea. "Unless we ruin it somehow." She smirks and turns to Blitzø, who happens to have the same idea.

With a mischievous grin, Blitzø moves the spotlight around the stage. The singer pauses and follows the light as he moves the light some more.

"She's not very good." Lyle states.

The imps grin as Blitzø moves the light faster and faster. The cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. The stage light accidentally breaks as the woman sings a final note before the light crushes her on stage. The audience, Lyle, and the cherubs scream, while the pianist nervously tries to keep playing the piano.

"Oh, at least we made it bad", Blitzø smiles while shrugging.

The four cherubs then fly angrily toward the imps. "That's it! I have had it! You four monsters have messed with us enough!" Cletus yells.

"W-w-we're just trying to do our j-j-job!" Collin adds.

"Well, so are we!" Moxxie tells them.

"Enough of this foolishness!" Grace yells as the cherubs summon golden crossbows and aims them at the imps.

"We are saving that shitty old man's life whether he wants it or not!" Cletus adds.

"Well someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay? And he paid in advance and I spent it all on this..." Blitzø holds up a green horse figure. "...so he's gotta go!"

Keenie flies towards Blitzø's face. "You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on!"

"And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of humans?!" Grace adds.

"So are you!" Millie argues.

"Yeah! So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental, cotton candy, tit Heaven bitch?!" Jess bares her teeth.

"Filthy demon crap!" Keenie and Grace yell as they tackle the two female imps.

The girls roll over in a catfight. Cletus and Collin shoot golden arrows at Blitzø and Moxxie, who run away.

Moxxie runs down the catwalk and jumps down, swinging from a rope. He holds a pistol in one hand and aims it at Keenie, who fights with Millie in the air. Millie slaps Keenie in the face several times. Moxxie fires at a rope that releases a bag. The bag separates Keenie and Millie, and Moxxie catches Millie. The couple grabs each other's faces with lustful grins. They French-kiss and make out as they swing and spin rapidly above the stage and fire from their weapons. The arrows and bullets hit and kills the audience members in the first two rows, minus Lyle.

"It's all starting to make sense now. Life is worth living because we only get one. We must cherish it. If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life, then certainly it's worth living. Killing myself is not the answer. Plus, I'm still rich! I can just buy all the things! I no longer crave death!" Lyle stands up and holds dollar bills in his hands in triumph. The audience members clap.

Blitzø runs along the metal scaffolding with his flintlock pistol. He jumps onto another one attached with rope. He and Cletus point their weapons at each other but Blitzø's pistol is out of ammo. Jess spots the two and jumps toward them as she throws Grace at Cletus, knocking both of them away. Blitzø catches Jess in his arms, bridal style, and the two smile and blush at each other.

Grace gets off of Cletus and tries to charge at the imps. Jess notices and takes out Blitzø's pistol and throws it at Grace. She dodges it but the pistol hit Cletus in the face. "Ah! You fucker!" Blinded, he screams and fires his arrow.

Blitzø, Jess, Moxxie, and Millie all fall within the metal scaffolding to the floor, narrowly missing the pianist. The pianist stops playing, puts down his stool, and uses it to step down from the higher floor. The piano is then sent flying through the air.

I.M.P. and C.H.E.R.U.B. stare as the piano keeps falling towards Lyle, making him scream and scrambles out of his bed. He is soon crushed by the piano, which kills him.

Moxxie grins as he sits tied up to Millie. "Well, well. Would 'ya look at that? YOU did our job for us. Heh!" I.M.P. grins smugly and Millie smirks as she gives the Cherubs two middle fingers.

Collin gasp in horror and panics. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my God!"

Keenie slaps Collin across the face, which frightens Grace. "Get a hold of yourself, Collin! And do NOT use the Lord's name in vain!"

"This isn't over!" Cletus shouts.

"We'll be back soon, imps!" Grace creates a heavenly portal and the four cherubs fly through, only to be mysteriously repelled back.

"What the?!"

A group of cherubs descends, two bees, two sheep, and Deerie, the leader. The deer conjures up reading glasses and a clipboard. "Mmm, yeah, no sorry, Cletus, but I'm afraid your actions resulted in the death of a human. I'm afraid you can't re-enter Heaven. Yeah, no..."

"What?!" C.H.E.R.U.B. yells in shock.

Deerie chuckles and speaks condescendingly. "Yeah, mm, sorry. Yeah, no..."

"Is there anything we can do?" Collin asks.

Deerie chuckles and files her hoof. "Yeah, no! Oh no, no no." Deerie says "no" while pointing her hooves at Collin, Cletus, Grace and Keenie.

"Uh! But we didn't mean to. We never!" Keenie tells them.

"She's right! It was all--" Grace points to the spot where I.M.P. was, only to find them gone. All four cherubs stare wide-eyed in horror.

"Anyway, sorry guys. But those are the rules, yeah. Bye!" Deerie does a happy wave before she and the group vanish through the portal.

"Wait! But-" Cletus flies toward the portal but it closes and he breaks down into tears.

*Back at I.M.P. Headquarters*

Blitzø claps his hands together. "Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so, we failed. Thanks to those fucking cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now so, it's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now, the two are forever separated. And now, we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up."

"Sir, when are you going to tell the client?" Moxxie asks.

Blitzø holds up his phone, "Oh, I already sent him a text and, we're in good hands 'cause texts don't make people angry."

A metal plank crashes into the room as Moxxie scurries out of the way. Loopty enters the room on it. "Blitzø!"

"Loofa! We can explain everything. I was..." Before Blitzø could explain, another metal plank squashes Moxxie as Lyle, now a mechanical demon, arrives with a grin.

"Lyle Lipton?!"

"I don't understand," Millie says.

"We thought you went to Heaven since the cherubs killed you" Jess adds.

Lyle scoffs. "Heaven? You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by not experimenting on the poor!"

"Oh, you no good heartless son of a bitch!" Loopy tells him before turning to the imps. "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!"

"The only question now is, what do two old genius robotic inventors do, now that we're in Hell?" Lyle asks.

Wally Wackford suddenly enters the room from the ceiling, "Did someone say, I say inventors?! Name's Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit! I mean employ." He twirls his mustache.

"Everyone, stop fucking up my walls! Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!" Blitzø yells as Moxxie is frothing at the mouth. "Oh, chill out, Moxxie. If you kiss my ass any harder, you'll go right inside me. Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table scraps, now this?"

"I guess, you can say, you say, you have a holy operation here, Blitzo!" Wally slaps his knee and laughs.

"Get out," Blitzø tells Wally.

"No wonder Tourmaline quit working for this guy", Jess comments to Millie.

Wally continues laughing as he doubles down on the floor. "Oh! I said "o!"

"No, I'm serious, get the fuck out!" Blitzø yells as everyone in the room looks at him shocked and surprised.

Chapter Text

The scene opens up to a sunlit exterior of Stolas' palace. Blitzø is lighting a cigarette on Stolas' bed. Stolas sighs in contentment as Blitzø folds his hands behind his head.

"I'm sorry for having to move our little rendezvous early. I have an engagement this month on the full moon." Stolas is wearing a ball gag and his hands are tied to the headboard with rope.

"When this happens, it's not really something I fuss about. But do you really need the book for this far bullshit? I have like fifteen new clients waiting for heads to roll." Blitzø reaches up and burns the rope off Stolas' hands with his cigarette, freeing him.

"As shocking as it may seem, Blitzy, my grimoire is actually incredibly important. And it isn't supposed to be lent out to itty bitty imps like yourself." Stolas pinches Blitzø's cheeks before he shoves him away.

Meanwhile, Roman was sweeping the hallway outside of Stolas' room. Though he tried not to be a bother, he couldn't help but listen to their conversation once he heard what Stolas said next.

"The Harvest Moon is a very special occasion. It's been my annual duty to showcase it in the Ring of Wrath. It's celebrated by a very charming little festival with the locals." Stolas explained.

Roman froze in surprise. 'The Harvest Moon Festival?! I almost forgot about that!' He thought as he continued to eavesdrop.

"Wrath, huh? My employees are from there. I've never really been here. It's full of inbred chuckle fucks." Blitzø comments.

Stolas sits up as he gets an idea. "Oh! Why don't you all join me at the festival? I can guarantee you all..." Stolas pulls the covers over his head and his head appears near Blitzø's crotch. "...special access."

"Look I told you, we're not bodyguards, okay? That was a one-time thing we did badly." Blitzø reminds him.

Stolas then stands up with the covers on his head and he even does a playful howl head tilt. "I'm simply offering a work-free day of fun. I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. It's the same every year."

"Well if you promise this isn't some fuck fest invite, it does sound like it could be a blast and a half. Plus it's not like we can do jack shit without your book anyway."

"Aww, I'm sorry your clients will have to wait," Stolas says in a baby-talk voice.

Blitzø chuckles and waves a dismissive hand. "Oh fuck my clients!"

Roman rolled his eyes and snuck away from the room. He walked over to his own room and took out an old suitcase. "Hello, old friend. It's that time again".

*At Moxxie and Millie's Apartment*

Moxxie and Millie are asleep in their bed and Moxxie's phone lights up as a Phantom of the Opera organ ringtone sounds. Moxxie taps the phone and rolls over. The phone sounds again. In annoyance, Moxxie grabs the phone and sits up. "What do you want, sir?"

"Hey, sorry to wake you, Mox! How would you and Mils like to visit the Wrath Ring for some harvest bullshit this year?" Blitzø asks.

"The Harvest Moon Festival?! Yee-fucking-haw!" Millie sits up in excitement.

Moxxie sighs. "Well, Millie likes the idea. Wait, where are you calling from?"

Blitzø falls down onto the bed from the ceiling and his phone bonks his head. Moxxie narrows his eyes. "Of course."

"Don't worry, Jess is coming too. I already texted her", Blitzø holds his phone up to show over 50 texted messages to Jess.

*Later, to the Rough N' Tumbleweed Ranch at the Wrath Ring*

The I.M.P. van pulls up in front of two imps.

"Mamma! Daddy!" Millie gets out of the van and happily runs toward her parents.

Her father hugs her and spins her around before placing her down. "Yee-haw! How's my deadly little pumpkin spice doing?" Joe rubs Millie's hair affectionately.

"I'm good, Pa! Thanks for letting us stay here for the harvest jamboree!"

"It's no trouble. We know you aren't making as much anymore since y'all went "freelance."" Lin says.

"Freelance pays fine, Ma! We're doing fine! It's fine." Millie walks over to Moxxie, who is struggling to carry luggage. "Anyway, y'all remember my husband Moxxie?" Millie shoves a nervous Moxxie in front of her parents. They stare at him in disapproval as Joe "hmph".

"Greetings, Lin. Joe. How have you been uh with all the...flaming twisters and stuff around here?" Moxxie nervously holds out his hand.

"We lost our old farm hand to one of them terrors last week," Joe says.

Moxxie laughs nervously. "Oh crumbs. My bad! I am so sorry. I didn't mean to open that wound, sir."

"Hey, watch it! I'm the "sir" here, bucko!", Blitzø says.

"Oh yeah! Y'all haven't met my boss, Blitzø! That's his girlfriend, Jess!" Millie introduces the first two.

Both Jess and Blitzø's faces blush in embarrassment as Blitzø stutters trying to talk. "Uh- we're not- I mean- I'm not- she isn't- girlfriend's not the right-"

Jess stops him before talking. "We aren't dating! We're just really close friends with a weird friendship".

Millie smirks before introducing Loona. "And that's his hellhound!"

"I'm not just his hellhound", Loona points out.

"Yeah, she's my daughter." Blitzø pulls her in a tight side hug.

"Only on paper. Y'all don't deserve to know my name."

Blitzø and Jess both walk over to Millie's parents.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet the sperm and egg factory that popped out this little gem of an assassin. You two raised a sturdy bitch!" Blitzø playfully elbows Millie.

Joe chuckles. "That we did! So, Blitzø and Jess, is it? Heh heh. Those are fine names."

Blitzø and Joe shake hands while Jess and Lin do the same.

"They remind me of war." Says Lin.

Joe sighs happily. "Nothing like a little war to make a strong man."

"I like you people."

"Me too. Y'all remind me of my brother", Jess agrees with Blitzø.

Moxxie tries to join in the conversation. "You know, war battles were won by technological advances in warfare. I've researched the history of weaponry extensively. And it's inspiring how...for example, the progression of guns utilizing angelic technology has changed the landscape of Hell's combative..."

He stops as Millie and Jess make a "cut it out" motion with their hands while everyone else looked uninterested in what he was saying.

"I mean... war fun." He said in a weird deep voice.

Joe crosses his arms. "Guns get the job done, but a man ain't nothing if he can't tear the head off a hellish beast with only his bare hands!"

"Ha! He's right, Moxxie! You got a cute little baby hand like your baby dick!" Blitzø speaks baby talk as he grabs Moxxie's hand and reaches toward his crotch.

Moxxie slaps his arm away. "Refrain, sir."

"You better watch what you say, Blitzø. Because those 'baby hands' can handle a gun better than you can", Jess winks at Moxxie, who smiles at her compliment.

"Speaking of strong hands, y'all should meet our newest help. Hey, Striker!" Joe calls out.

Black flaming hooves clop rapidly on the ground. An imp's spiky tail whips a black horse's flank. An imp wearing a cowboy hat rides a black hell horse with a fiery mane. The horse leaps over a fence. The horse rears up and roars in front of the group. Striker tips his hat in greeting, a stalk in his hand.

"Well, howdy! Oh lookie here! You must be the famous Mildred." Striker gets off the horse and walks toward Millie. "Heard some good things about you from your folks, little lady." Striker winks at her and Millie laughs sheepishly as they shake hands. "What are y'all doing so far away from Imp City? Huh. Free working finally slowing down?"

"Oh no! Freelancing isn't free, it's... Never mind. We're just visiting for the festival." Millie explains.

"Yeah, and that's because the prince is our boss' boyfriend!" Jess says in a dramatic voice.

"Jess, I'm not above hitting a female," Blitzø tells her.

"Even if it's in front of her daddy? Because I'm pretty sure Millie would've said the same thing" She smirks.

"Boss, huh? Oh, so you're the bold imp that started his own killing biz?" Striker asks.

"Yeah, well if you're good at something, you should probably capitalize," Blitzø tells him.

"Not many imps start businesses on their own. That's pretty impressive, sir."

"Oh. yeah, it is I guess, I guess it is?"

"So you even con that ditzy blueblood into getting you to the surface?" Striker and Blitzø shake hands.

"Well it's long and complicated but the short answer is, yes. But he's not like- you know- we're not like- we're not doing- it's a transactional fucking, you see." Blitzø continues to stutter as he makes a sexual motion with his hands.

Striker turns to Jess next. "And who'd might you be?"

Jess put her hand out to shake Striker's. "I'm Jessie, but my friends call me Jess".

"That's a fine name for a pretty lady like yourself", Striker took Jess's hand and placed a kiss on it, which made Blitzø look a bit uneasy. "And what's your line of work in all of this?"

"Easy. Murder, money, status, and whatever is going to satisfy the need to succeed in this hellhole. And if you're an enemy or an obstacle to any of us, I won't hesitate to make you suffer", she answers before winking at him.

Striker chuckles at her response. "I like you. You seem like the type of person to be ambitious yet cautious about what she does, and who she does it with. I bet you have the potential to climb your way to the top of the ranks with the right people".

Jess crosses her arms in confidence. "Maybe I do".

Blitzø smiles, despite feeling slightly jealous, as he fistbumps her. "Oh she definitely does. And that's one of the reasons why I lov- uh- I mean hired her!" he blushes a bit as he caught himself almost saying something else.

"I can see. She's a beaut". Striker winks at Jess, causing Blitzø to frown a bit and her to roll her eyes. The guy seemed charming but Jess wasn't looking for a hookup.

"You know, you boys should enter the Pain Games." Said Joe.

Blitzø walks rapidly sideways in front of Joe. "I heard games! What games? I'm in!"

"Every harvest festival, there's a competition to be the roughest toughest bastard in Wrath!" Lin explains.

"Oh, I've actually heard of this from my brother! Isn't there a guy who has a 24-year winning streak?" Jess asks.

"Ah, Logan West, The Wolverine of Wrath. He's certainly a tough one to beat. It would actually take all the skills you have to at least be tied with him" Striker tells her.

"Either way, I want in! I need a real opponent to go against, and this challenge sounds like something I could have some fun with".

Millie crosses her arms, feeling upset. "Yeah! Wish I could play!"

"Millie, you know you get too carried away. The last competition ended in fifteen separate funerals." Lin tells her.

"I'm aware, but I only caused nine of them! How come Sallie May still gets to compete?"

"Your sister doesn't have a neighborhood headcount."

"She so does!"

Sallie May carries a sack and a small imp drags an imp body in the background. "Doesn't count if they don't find the bodies~!" she states in a sing-song voice as Millie seethes in anger.

"Still you get to root for her and your brothers and now you get to cheer on your boss and your friend!" Lin told her.

Moxxie then puts a hand on Lin's shoulder. "You know, she can also cheer for me."

Joe laughs and slaps his leg at what Moxxie said. "Wait, you?"

"Yeah! I can compete, can't I?" Lin elbows him hard in the side and Moxxie tears up in pain.

"Sorry boy, but I don't think sensitive thespian types would last very long in the games."

"I was born here too. I have some fight in me." Moxxie drawls.

Striker then puts a hand on Moxxie's shoulder. "Huh. Well then little fella, why don't you help me wrangle up them hogs for dinner." Striker gestures to a large sleeping hell hog in a pigpen.

"Simple. Watch me." Moxxie feels confident.

Striker grins and hands him a dagger and rope. "Ha. With these. Bullets can't pierce the shell. You gotta get the knife underneath them and pry yourself an opening."

Moxxie gulps, losing his confidence. "Oh, right, right. I knew that."

Blitzø leans in toward Moxxie and grabs his shoulders. "Just remember, your rep with the in-laws is on the line here. So no pressure at all, you totally will not make an ass of yourself to everyone important in your life. Go get em' tiger."

He shoves Moxxie forward and Jess tries to talk to him. "This isn't really necessary. If you want to bail on this, that's understandable".

"She's right, Mox, you don't need to do this." Millie agrees with her.

"Oh he totally does! Kick its ass, Moxxie! Yeah!" Blitzø cheers as Moxxie enters the pen.

He nervously walks forward, knife in hand. Moxxie leaps forward and wraps the rope around the hog's neck. He moves the knife down and it strikes harmlessly against the hog's hide. The hog roars and runs around, trying to buck Moxxie off.

"Fuck yeah, Moxxie! Ride it, Moxxie! Making that bitch you won't call back in the morning!" Blitzø calls out to him.

Loona grins and records a video on her phone. "This is fucking beautiful."

"Doing great, Moxxie!" Blitzø gives a thumbs up before whispering to Loona. "Send me that video later."

Both Millie and Jess watch the whole thing in concern until Jess finally jumps over the fence. "Ugh, that's it! I'm going in!"

Moxxie yelps and looks up. Striker leaps and pushes him out of the way while Jess catches him and places Moxxie on the other side of the pen. Striker wrestles down the hog while Jess comes in, twirls the dagger in her hand, and lifts it in the air with a determined expression. She brings down the knife and slaughters the hog.

"Yeah! That's my girl! Be the badass we know you are!" Blitzø cheered for Jess, making her blush a bit.

Moxxie rubs his neck in pain and a bone cracks. "Ow! My clavicle!"

Jess shook her head, dropped the knife, and headed to Moxxie. Striker then stands over them, his tail rattling like a snake. "Don't worry, little one. You never stood a chance. And Jess, that was some fine teamwork you and I did together. You've done amazingly well". He walks away with the dead hog over his shoulder and turns to Blitzø. "Hey, boss man. You wanna help the men skin this thing for dinner?"

"Oh I am always down for skinning the manly meat with the manly man!" Blitzø answers.

"That's what she said." Loona jokingly comments.

To which Blitzø doesn't get it and takes it the wrong way. "What who said? Wait, what bitch is talking shit about me?!"

Jess sighs in annoyance but still smiles at her best friend. But the smile dropped when she turns to Moxxie, who sighs sadly with his arm in a cast with Millie by his side. "I'm so sorry, Moxxie. I didn't mean to upstage you".

"But you did. Making him lose a chance to gain respect". Sallie May says as she passes by, making Jess and Moxxie feel worse.

"I was just trying to help him!"

"It's fine, Jess. We know you were trying to help. It's not a big deal". Millie reassures her friend. Jess nods while Millie turns to comfort Moxxie. "Don't let them get to you. And hey, you don't need my parents to respect you. They will eventually."

"No they won't." Sallie May says as she leans against the fence. Millie then glares at her sister. "What? I'm right, ain't I?"

"Oh I'm entering those games," Moxxie says with anger and determination as Millie and Jess sigh sadly.

"Hmm, How pissed would you be if I bet on him dying?" Sallie May asks as Millie glares at her again.

*At the Harvest Festival*

"Roman, we're starting soon!", Stolas called after his friend backstage. Just as he was about to look somewhere else, he heard Roman's voice talking to someone. He followed it and saw Roman in a western outfit doing a video chat with Octavia.

Roman had an annoyed face as Octavia was snickering. "Yeah yeah, I get it. This isn't my best outfit".

"It really isn't. But at least no one will know it's you. Anyway, good luck at the games. I'll make sure mom doesn't know your missing again".

"Thanks, sweetie. I promise to cook your favorite dinner once me and your father get back. Bye".

Roman hangs up as Stolas makes his way towards him. "Who was checking up on who this time?"

Roman rolls his eyes while smiling. "...She checked up on me. Hey, we look out for each other. Besides we made a deal, so it's smooth sailing from here".

"Glad to know. But be careful. We don't need you being seen by the others". Stolas hands Roman a bandana, to which he put on as a mask. "I allow this because it makes you happy, but please don't get carried away again. The last time you did ended in fifteen separate funerals".

"I know, but I only caused 6 of them".

"I'm not upset about the ones it happened to, I'm upset that you could've been one of those bodies. I don't need you getting hurt". Stolas placed his hand on Roman's shoulder.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. It's my job to do that to you". The two demons laugh a bit and gaze at each other with care in their eyes before hearing another voice making an announcement.

Wally Wackford stands on stage with a microphone and speaks dramatically. "Welcome, I say welcome, all to Wrath Ring's annual Harvest Moon Festival! To kick things up, we have the great prince Stolas-a here to usher in this here Pain Games!"

"Well, looks like I should get going. Good luck, 'Logan West'", Stolas waves to Roman before heading to the stage. Roman sneaks away to an area where he kept a horse, and began to ride it.

Meanwhile, Stolas chuckles and takes the microphone from Wally. "How kind, Wackford. Greetings tiny Wrath Ring imps. I hereby welcome you all to another year of celebrating the spoils of your labor that continue to feed the citizens of Hell!"

The crowd of imps glare at him and boos are heard.

"I'm happy to kick off the start of these games that will challenge the toughest imps to show their skill in dominance-" Stolas gets cut off by another voice.

"WAIT!"

Another hell horse was heard running in the distance as a masked Roman (who will now be called Logan), stood on top of it as if he was surfing in a dangerous sea. As the horse came to a stop, the imp jumped off and landed in the middle of the crowd.

"You weren't planning on starting these little gruesome games without me, were you?" Logan looked up and walked passed Blitzø, Jess, Moxxie, and Striker, who looked pretty impressed with his entrance.

"Well, now that Logan West has finally made it, late as always, I wish good luck to you all! Especially that sexy little one there! Yoo-hoo, Blitzy!" Stolas waves at him while Blitzø glares.

"Oh fuck me."

A gun goes off and the games begin. Moxxie gets trampled with a yelp as the other imps race down the trail. Logan climbs up a wooden ramp structure while Jess, Striker, and Blitzø leap down ahead of him. Moxxie tries to catch up and he claws at the structure before falling into a small puddle. He gets chewed up and thrashed by a monstrous black and white shark.

In the next shot, Striker grins smugly at Jess who has her legs, arms, and horns tied behind her, Blitzø and Logan were somehow able to get each other tied and stuck together, and a muscular imp holds a rope and grins at a scared Moxxie.

Striker, Blitzø, Jess, and Moxxie team up in a tug-of-war match. Moxxie falls into the water and the shark attacks him again.

The scene cuts to a wrestling match in the mud between Blitzø and Striker. Jess and Logan fight each other brutally and Jess ends up punching Logan in the face, to which he wipes off blood and smirks at Jess with an impressed face. A group of imps does a football huddle on top of Moxxie. The shark leaps over the fence to squash Moxxie.

"MOTHER FU--!"

*Back on stage*

"I say, I say for the first year ever, we have a four-way tie for the winner of the Harvest Moon Pain Games!"

Stolas takes the microphone from Wally Wackford. "The winners are, Logan, Striker, Jessie, and my darling Blitzy!" Stolas does a one-legged pose as the crowd cheers.

"Just say our names right! Fucking dick." Blitzø yells as the four imps walk on stage while Moxxie and Millie watch from the stand.

"Alright, so he has the "physical advantage." I'm better at other things. Like singing!"

"I'd like to take this opportunity to sing a quick song I wrote up just now about me winning." Striker pulls out a guitar and strums it.

"Oh, what the fuck?!"

Striker's Song plays as he sings about his victory. A squealing fangirl imp runs up to him and he kicks her in the face, sending her back to a group of imps, to which the imps maul at her.

Blitzø arrived and sat next to them. Blitzø had cheese on a stick in his hand and took a bite from it. "Isn't this guy great?", he asks.

Moxxie gets more angry. "False!"

"It's gonna be nice working with him!" Blitzø pours hot sauce on his cheese and takes another bite.

"Working with him? What?!"

"Yeah! I asked him if he wants to join I.M.P."

"You asked...but..." Moxxie looks visibly hurt.

"Hey, Jess, how about that--" Blitzø turns to where he thought Jess was sitting, only to find her gone. He stood up and looked around for her in confusion.

He then spotted her on the other side of the stage, laughing and talking with Logan, with Striker coming towards her every now and again to make a quick flirty gesture before singing again. Jess seemed to be happy and she even tried to hide a blush that crept onto her face when Striker came in the 5th time. Blitzø's face then suddenly became a very upset expression. He thought Striker was pretty cool, but he might have to talk to him about trying to get with his best friend.

Millie didn't take notice and instead tried to cheer Moxxie up instead. "Mox, I think you've had enough for now. Let's head back to the house and get you clean.

"Moxxie go fuck yourself!" Striker says in a sing-song voice. Moxxie tears up and leaves with Millie as Striker finishes his song.

Jess took notice of that lyric in particular and felt upset about Moxxie's situation. Logan sees her face and is about to cheer her up until Striker comes near them again. "Next time, I'll dedicate a certain song to you". He boops Jess's nose, causing her to blush a bit. "Anyway, mind coming with me for a small chat?"

"Maybe later. I'm staying with Logan for a bit", Jess declines.

"Well, You know where to find me", Striker leaves for Millie's home while Logan goes to take Jess for a walk.

*Later*

Volcanos with fiery spheres are revealed. Blitzø lies down and looks sadly at Striker's horse who eats an animal carcass. "Ah, who cares if she likes some other tough asshole?" He then sighs sadly after 5 seconds of silence. "Not me, that's for sure" He knew he was lying to himself, but he didn't want to say it. He then got a text from Jess that said "I'm having a walk with Logan. Be back in a bit". Blitzø then smashed his face in the dirt with the horse nudging him a bit.

Meanwhile, Millie beams beside her parents as her brothers load up jack-o-lanterns into a cart. Millie waves at them and runs off.

Inside the cottage, Moxxie glumly walks up some stairs. He notices light shining through the bottom of a door. "Well, that's troubling." Moxxie opens the door and peers around. He notices the light coming from a box. He walks over and sees a rifle with glowing designs in an open gun case.

"Holy crumbs!" He runs his hand along the side of the rifle. "A genuine carmine crafted blessed tipped rife. How...how in the fuck did he get one of these?"

Striker leans against the door frame behind him. "Why don't you ask me, little dude?"

"Shit! Why do you have this?! Mister! You are aware this kind of weapon can kill..."

"...demon royalty." Striker finishes for him.

"Yes. That."

Striker flicks the wheat stalk away. "No shit. That's kinda the point." He runs his claws along the door. He closes the door and advances menacingly toward Moxxie with a grin.

"Okay. While I'm... I'm relatively concerned by your possession of this. I'm also glad my instant dislike of you has been validated!"

Striker wraps his tail around Moxxie's neck. He tosses Moxxie hard against the wall. He chokes Moxxie on the floor as Moxxie tries to claw at him. Striker holds him down with his body weight. Moxxie glances over to see a vase on a table. He kicks the table and the vase crashes into Striker.

Millie hears the crash from outside. Moxxie stands up and races toward the door. He pulls the door open but Striker roughly pulls him back by his tail. Striker covers Moxxie's mouth and begins to strangle him. Striker chuckles evilly as Moxxie begins to lose consciousness.

"Pathetic."

Millie appears behind Striker and strikes him in the back with a knife. Moxxie collapses to the floor. A feral Millie stabs Striker repeatedly in the back. She leaps onto his back and holds a knife at his neck. Striker slams Millie off against the wall and she ends up bleeding and collapses next to Moxxie.

Striker grabs both of them by their hair and tosses them into a cellar. Millie cries out in pain as her foot gets caught in a trap.

"I'd kill y'all but I feel like there's more leverage with your lovely friend and your rodeo clown of a boss if I don't. Plus you little things ain't worth the cleanup."

Moxxie runs up the stairs but Striker closes the cellar doors. '"Millie!" Moxxie runs down the stairs to Millie. "Oh Satan!"

"Moxxie, I'm fine." She reassures him. "I got worse than this during the flower toss at my brother's wedding. But I caught that fucking bouquet and it was fucking worth it. You just have to get out there, and fuck up that brown-nosing cocksucker for me!"

"But I can't break through it. I'm not strong enough."

"Not with your hands, baby. Use what you're good at."

"I'm not good with my hands?"

Millie glares at him.

"Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah." Moxxie pulls out a pistol and fires a hole in the door but he ended up hearing a familiar voice on the other end.

"AHHH! Calm down, it's just me!"

"Wh- Jess?! What are you doing here?!" Moxxie asked as Jess opens the door. And she's not alone. "And why is he with you?"

"Okay, Logan was walking me here when we heard noises coming from the house. Needless to say, we thought something was up." Jess told them.

Logan spotted Moxxie's gun and cleared his throat. "Also, if you had a gun this whole time... uh..."

Moxxie laughs nervously. "I...I probably should've used it earlier, huh?"

Logan shakes his head disapprovingly and Jess facepalms.

"We all love you hun... but for fuck's sake!" Millie tells him.

Jess sighs. "Never mind that! Logan, call someone to help Millie. And Moxxie, tell me everything that happened with Striker".

"No time! We need to find him now! I'll tell you on the way!" Moxxie grabs Jess and runs off with her.

*Meanwhile*

Stolas is on stage and magically flips through the grimoire. "My dear commoners of the Ring of Wrath, I, Stolas of the Ars Goetia, hereby curse this year's harvest with the glow of the true Harvest Moon!"

The clouds swirl as Stolas creates a portal. The portal reveals a glowing orange full moon in the sky. The crowd oohs in wonder.

Meanwhile, Striker chuckles darkly as he aims the rifle at Stolas' forehead. A click is heard behind him and Blitzø is revealed behind him as he aims his flintlock pistol at him.

"Uh, excuse me? The fuck?!"

Striker turns around. "Blitzø! I thought you were still at the ceremony."

"You thought I wanted to stand around with a bunch of hillbillies excited about corn and shit with a thirsty owl on stage?"

"Huh. Now you seem disappointed in me."

"Yeah. Well I'm not a fan of someone I offered a job to about to off my easiest lanky ticket to Earth behind my back."

"Blitzø, come on." Striker walks around Blitzø as his eyes move and he appears conflicted. "You know the two of us are superior than most of our kind. And you were so above sucking on a disgusting rich pompous Goetia, only to sneak topside for scraps and work for better sinners who could care less who you are, when you could be slaying overlords."

Blitzø aims his gun as Striker moves in the shadows and continues speaking. "Why struggle to run a business that is rigged against you? When you could partner up with me and kill the un-killable?" Striker pins a frightened Blitzø against the wall. "Starting with the one who treats you like a plaything?"

Blitzø grins in lust. "Oh that's kinda hot."

"We could be the most dangerous beings in Hell, Blitzø."

"Wow. That was a good fucking pitch."

"I've been workshopping." Striker moves Blitzø's gun away.

"You know what. Fuck it. I'm in."

Striker grins until he hears a clicking sound and turns around to see Moxxie appear behind him with Striker's rifle, as well as Jess holding her own gun.

"Took you both long enough! Ha ha! Wow, you should've seen your dipshit face! What..." Blitzø glances down to see Striker holding Blitzø's knife with his tail. "Okay, cliché much?"

Striker points Blitzø's pistol at Moxxie and it goes off. Jess pushes Moxxie out of the way, but she gets hit with the bullet in her chest and falls to the ground in pain.

Striker shocks himself since that wasn't supposed to happen, meanwhile, Blitzø face turns into utter rage "Oh you daddy fucker!"

He bites at Striker's arm. The fight begins as the imps land punches. Striker slams Blitzø into Moxxie and they both fall to the floor. Moxxie sees the rifle on the floor and reaches for it but Striker pin's his arm down with his boot.

"You dumb fucks lost the upper hand fast huh?" Striker picks up his gun and aims it at the two.

"Ha ha! You seem to have forgotten something, fucko!" Blitzø whistles several times for Loona. Outside, Loona taps on her phone and ignores him.

Blitzø then realized that she wasn't coming. "Fucking damn it, Loona."

Moxxie looked behind Striker to see Logan quietly enter the room and Jess slowly getting up. Both seemed ready to pounce on Striker.

"It's a damn shame, Blitzø. We might have actually made a good team. Oh well." Striker becomes ready to kill them.

"In your wet dreams, you honky talk clown!" Jess says as she swings her foot under Striker and trips him.

Blitzø kicks Striker away, causing him to drop his rifle. Moxxie grabs it and growls. Logan then races toward Striker and knocks his head with a vase. The three imps land punches at his face and Blitzø uses his tail to toss Striker to the side. Moxxie fires a warning shot near Striker's head. Blitzø, Logan, Jess, and Moxxie close in on Striker with Moxxie, Jess and Blitzø having their guns pointed at him.

"I still think it's embarrassing. You're wasting a lot of potential relying on weak little..."

Moxxie fires a shot near Striker to shut him up. "You're gonna finish that fucking sentence? Pardoner?"

Striker hisses. "Vermin."

"Who's weak now, bitc--?!" Moxxie gets slammed against the wall as Loona opens the door and enters the room.

"Okay, I'm here".

Striker narrows his eyes and uses the distraction to slap Blitzø's gun from his hands. He then grabs Logan and tosses him across the room as he heads toward the open window.

"Jess, no hard feelings, alright? And maybe you'll get me next time, Blitzy." Striker escapes through the window as Blitzø points his pistol outside, looking at the celebration in worry.

*Back at the Ranch"

Logan helps Jess with her wounds in the van as Blitzø sits next to her in concern. "Are you sure you'll be alright? I'll have that fucker's head on a pike if-"

"Blitzø, I'm fine. It's just a small wo- AHH!" Jess yells in pain as Logan hurts her by mistake.

"Sorry! Sorry!" He tries to calm her as Blitzø gives him an angry look. "Well, the wound will heal in about a few weeks. If it was any lower it would've hit your heart and killed you. You're one rough and tough demon. And so is your boss".

"Thanks, Logan." Blitzø says. Logan winks at the two before getting a text message from Stolas saying "Where are you? I'm waiting for you so we can head back home. You still owe Via that dinner you talked about". Logan smiled while texting back.

"Who's that?" Blitzø asked.

Logan stutters while trying to find an answer. "Uhh... it's... uhh... my fri- My husband!" He was about to facepalm himself until Jess said something.

"Well, tell him I said he's a lucky guy because you're pretty cool".

Logan smiled. "I will. And I hope that we'll all meet again someday. You guys are actually pretty cool too".

They wave bye to each other as Blitzø turns to his friend. "Disappointed that our ex-future co-worker turned out to be a double-crossing asshole?"

"Not really. I already have you, plus Moxxie, Millie, and Loona. So I don't need anything more than that".

Blitzø smiles and wraps his arm around Jess. "Glad to hear that".

Meanwhile, Lin bandages up Millie's arm as she sits with her foot in a cast and Moxxie struggles to fit clothes in a suitcase.

"I can't believe you let him trap you, Millie. Haven't we taught you better?" Lin scolds.

"I was seeing red, Ma!" Millie tries to defend herself. "And he was slippery!"

"Excuses! You're better than that, Mildred!"

Moxxie closes the trunk and marches over to Millie's parents. "You know, she protected me. And maybe I'm not a strong beefy dickhead, but Millie has the strength enough for both of us! You two are getting on her case about her getting hurt by a psychopath you hired?! Shame on you!"

"Aw Moxxie, look at you. Speaking like a big boy with his big pants!" Blitzø says in a baby voice.

Jess then playfully elbows him. "Come on, just let him have this".

Joe glares at Moxxie, but he then curtly nods and leaves. Which surprises Millie. "Wow! He nodded! He's never acknowledged your input before!" She stands up on crutches and walks away.

"So, is that progress?"

"You bet it is, Mox". Jess places her hand out to give Moxxie a fistbump, to which he happily accepts. However, before getting into the van, Jess tries to ask one more question to her friends. "Hey guys, have any of you seen my choker? It's missing".

"The one with the sapphire stone on it?" Millie asked. Jess nodded only for everyone to tell her they haven't seen it.

"You'll find it soon. Don't worry", Loona reassures her. Jess nods as the group drive back home.

*Somewhere Else*

The scene cuts to a sign that reads "Hideaway Motel Vacancy. The Guy That Tried 2 Kill U Def Isn't Here."

Striker is on a bed, talking on the phone while fiddling with Jess's missing choker in his hands. "Ugh, I failed to kill the target at the festival. But don't worry ma'am, it won't happen again."

On the other line of the call. Stella drums her fingers on the table. "It better not! I want this cheating prick dead! I don't care who you have to go through! Make it happen!"

Stella sits at a dinner table with Stolas and Octavia. Stolas is reading a book while Octavia bops her head to music; and both are ignoring her conversation... except for Roman, who is standing outside the room in fear.

"Understood."

Stella hangs up the phone as Roman walks to his room. He places Logan's bandana mask on his desk and looks in his mirror with anger in his eyes. 'Oh Stella, there's no way I'm letting you harm Stolas. You're going to have to throw everything you have at me if you want to achieve that.' Roman then picked up a picture of him with 3 other imps, to which he sets it down on its face. 'I won't make the same mistake twice'.

At the motel, Striker places Jess's choker in his pocket as he twirls the gun in his hand. "I'll get him next time." He chuckles evilly as he turns off the light. His yellow eyes glow in the darkness to rattlesnake hisses.

Chapter Text

The episode opens up to four monitors; the first one shows Blitzø, Jess, and Moxxie outside Martha's house, Moxxie then pushes Blitzo's gun causing him to shoot in the wrong direction in "Murder Family". Another showing Millie coming out of the ocean after killing the fish monster in "Spring Broken", another's showing Millie and Moxxie french-kissing while swinging on a rope in "C.H.E.R.U.B.", and on the fourth monitor is a shot of horses, which then zooms past them onto Blitzø, who's making a goofy face. Someone then points at the monitor.

"Right there. This was the first sighting".

"They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically-targeted people, but why?"

"They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next".

A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by an angry cat sound. The two agents immediately glance over to a hole in the wall that is covered with small wooden planks. Forming a little peek hole to the outside. They then see the source of all the racket, Blitzø outside on top of some trash bags and dumpsters looking around.

"Ah well, that's convenient".

*Meanwhile*

"Shh! Remember, we can't be seen". Blitzø slams the dumpster door loudly but then falls into a pile of trash bags.

"Pardon my word, sir. But you're currently being the loudest", Moxxie points out.

Blitzø comes out of the trash and pokes Moxxie's face. "I said shush your dick-sucking lips, Moxxie".

"Ugh! There's no peace with you two" Jess complains. "I swear, why do I stay with you guys, only to put up with this?"

"I can't think of any type of reason, Jess". Moxxie responds as he steps away from his boss for a short moment. The portal opened up and Moxxie was about to head towards it.

"Get down!!!" Blitzø quickly grabs Moxxie towards the ground as a net zoomed by and hits Jess before she could get to the portal. Agent One reloads his weapon as Blitzø looks behind him and sees Agent Two jump down with a rope from a building and in between the portal and a captured Jess. "Loona! Close it!"

"Wait! No!" Millie yells before the portal closes, leaving Blitzø, Moxxie, and Jess in the human world.

When Moxxie saw it closed, he suddenly got mad and fights the two agents while Blitzø hid and Jess cut open the net to free herself. However, Moxxie was hit by a needle and falls to the ground.

"Moxxie!" Blitzø yelled.

With quick thinking, he grabs Moxxie and runs away. Jess hits Agent Two before following the boys. They kept on running as the agents were catching up.

"I smell... Colors..." Moxxie said drunk-ish-ly.

The trio then stopped at a dead end with the agents got them cornered.

"Back off, you tuxedo-wearing fucks!" Blitzø threatens as Jess aims her gun at them.

The agents soon raised their weapons. But just as Jess was about to fire, Agent Two pushed a button on her gun, electrocuting the imps and making them fall over.

The agents stand over them as Jess and Blitzø are about to black out. "I'd like to see the suits at corporate calling us losers now. That was pretty badass".

"Super badass".

Soon enough, the two imps passed out.

Meanwhile in Hell, Millie, with tears in her eyes was punching the wall multiple times. But soon she got on her knees. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" Millie continues to punch the wall with tears in her eyes.

"You uh... You okay there?" Loona asks.

"What're you doing sittin' there?! The boys and Jess are in trouble, open it again!"

"Blitzø was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until-"

Millie grabs Loona in anger and brings her face down to her level. "OPEN THE FUCKING PORTAL NOW!!!"

A sequence happens, as Loona zips a bag labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag", an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double axe with the 'M' in the I.M.P, and Loona quickly transforms to her human form. The portal opens again, Millie flips and lands in a pose while Loona walks over to the portal.

"They aren't here..." Millie lets go of the axe and got to her knees again, beginning to cry. But stopped immediately as Loona lifts her up to bend down and sniffed to track where Blitzø, Jess, and Moxxie went.

"It smells like they went this way. Come on, let's find the dumbass triplets".

Millie slips into the backpack and Loona picks up the axe and starts running.

*Meanwhile*

Moxxie starts waking up and starts looking around, revealing that he, Jess, and Blitzø are tied up. Moxxie panics and struggles to get out, while Agent Two grabs the light and pans it close to his face.

"Finally awake, huh, little fella. Your partners have been a while now".

Jess rolls her eyes. "Listen fucker, I've got over 12 years living alone in Hell, 18 years living in a broken home, and 6 years in a survival camp. Plus, I work with these bozos, and they are more tougher than they look".

Blitzø smiles at Jess before speaking. "She's not wrong, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down alright, I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery, so I- oh okay".

Agent One pans the light close to Blitzø's face. "Tell us, demon scum. Who do you work for? Satan?"

Agent Two grabs the light again and passes it to Agent One for each question.

"How did you get to our world from the afterlife?"

"Why are youz killing humans?"

"When did you show up here?"

The two agents stop passing the lights as Blitzø cuts them off. "Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we into this. I mean everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want something iced, bitch. Jess?". Blitzø turns his head towards Jess.

"Give me something with caramel. But don't make it too hot, I prefer cooler coffee. Your turn, Mox".

Jess and Blitzø then turn around to Moxxie. "I'll have a Neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-"

"Enough! We aren't getting youz coffee!" Agent One yells, feeling annoyed.

"Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox, congrats" Blitzø compliments.

"If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts", Agent Two threatens.

"When you say "tortured" you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive, we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain and you have no way of knowing what was true", Moxxie explains.

"Also you don't know if we've been through physical torture before, so it might not even have an effect on us", Jess adds.

"-Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole thing to deal with". Blitzø also adds.

"What do you mean by that?" Agent One asks.

"Oh, you're stupid, huh. I could work with stupid, Daddy Likey Dummy".

Moxxie and Jess squirm in their chairs trying to hold back their laughter but laughs anyway.

"Good one sir, Daddy likey..."

"HA! That was great..."

"You better stop laughin' at us", Agent Two says in frustration.

Agent One then grabs Blitzø's collar and screams at the imp's face. "Yeah! You're the ones at our mercy!"

"It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied up here, for what, hours? And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are". Moxxie mentions.

Agent Two leans down curiously to the imp. "What are you?"

"I'm a Virgo".

Blitzø and Jess burst out laughing.

Agent One lets go of Blitzø, walks towards Jess next, and gets near her face. "At least explain why youz killing specific humans?"

Jess smirks. "This must be really frustrating for you two. I'd love to see things from your perspective, but it's almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far".

"Boom! Burn!" Moxxie comments.

Jess turns to the boys. "Take this as a lesson, boys: when people like them start to actually sound like they know what they're doing, that's when it's time to up your medication".

"Ha! Double burn, bitches!" Blitzø gives a smirk.

Agent One gets more annoyed. "Oh, a smart guys, eh?"

"One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!" Agent Two threatens yet again.

"Ohh, getting kinky!"

Both agents recoil in shock and horror and Blitzø's statement.

"WHAT?!? We ain't playing any of your vile demon kinks!"

"I mean, that's what it sounds like back there. You sickos".

"PLEASE, don't give them ideas sir", Moxxie said sarcastically.

"Why not? I know the shit you're into!"

Moxxie gets an embarrassed look as Jess becomes slightly confused.

"STAAHP! We are NOT getting kinky with youz!" Agent One yells.

Agent Two grabs his shoulders. "Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!"

Blitzø sees them walking away and continues to mess with them. "Hey, aren't we going to get a phone call, bitch?"

Agent One kneels close to him. "Well, that entirely depends: Who are you going to call, hmm?"

"Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!" Blitzø answers.

"Nice try, demon! His fat mom is DEAD!" Two tells him as One starts crying into his own arm.

Jess gives her an unimpressed look. "How do you think he met her, dumbass? If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise, you're just an ass".

*Meanwhile with Millie & Loona*

Two armed guards stand outside the entrance of the D.H.O.R.K.S. building that Blitzø, Jess, and Moxxie are trapped inside of. Millie and Loona are hiding at the side of the building trying to sneak in.

"This where they ended up?" Millie asked.

"I think so. Fuck, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?"

"Lift me up to that vent!" Millie points to a small vent above their heads.

Loona raises her hand and Millie climbs up, opens the vent, and crawls into the building. She unlocks a side door from the inside and lets in Loona. They sneak through the halls trying to find Moxxie, Jess, and Blitzø, when an unnamed D.H.O.R.K.S. guard sees them on the surveillance camera and sounds an alarm to alert the other guards of the trespassers.

Loona stops running, the camera moves toward the screen revealing a bunch of agents holding several Japanese firearms. An agent holding a naginata runs toward Loona and Millie and swings the spear at them. The girls duck, avoiding the spear. Loona jumps swinging the axe, causing an agent to have his right leg sliced while Millie shoots his head twice. Loona throws the axe to another agent's face, Millie climbs the body picks the ax, and slices another agent in half. Loona runs into an agent with nunchucks, ready to kick but he avoids it, she rolls and jumps to avoid him. An agent swings a kusarigama at Loona but she ducks, slicing the nunchuck guy in the neck instead. Millie sneaks up to a surprised agent and breaks his neck, he falls down face first. Loona grabs Millie and Millie grabs the axe, running to another set of agents. A door opens revealing an agent, alerting the others. The set of agents reveal their shuriken and throws them to the girls.

"Throw me!"

Loona throws Millie into a group as a door closes behind her labeled "CAUTION BLAST DANGER". Screaming was heard before the door opened to show Millie surrounded by corpses and blood-spatter.

"Damn, you're pretty agile for an old lady" Loona (somewhat) compliments.

"I'm like 5 years older than you" Millie points out.

*Back to Blitzø, Jess & Moxxie*

(A/N: I can't keep writing Agent One and Two anymore, so instead they'll be called 1 and 2)

Blitzø is making a blep face at Agent 1 as he yells at him with tears in his eyes. "Stop insulting my mother, she's dead!"

"Hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking".

Both of the agents exit the room, slamming the door behind them. Blitzø immediately tries to get out of his bonds but sighs when he's unable to. "Don't worry guys, if we keep being obnoxious they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fucking with them until they get so frustrated they stop thinking clearly. It usually works".

As Blitzø speaks it zooms out until it is coming through a recording as Agents 1 and 2 watch on the screen.

"Hmmmmm, so the demons wanna play games, huh? Well, we can play games" Agent 1 says.

Agent 2 laughs and hits a glowing bright green button between "Haha Gas" and "Bitch Juice" labeled "Truth Bomb".

"Yeahhhhh".

Back to the imps, Blitzø is still struggling against his ropes trying to get out, meanwhile Jess is trying to chew her way out.

"I'm just worried about Millie; she'll be on her way by now, I'm sure". Moxxie says, feeling concerned.

"Ugh, she'll be fine Moxxie. It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset". Blitzø comments.

"We've never dealt with the human government before, she's in danger".

Jess tries to comfort Moxxie. "Moxxie, I know how different this is compared to what we've dealt with before. But believe me, we've got this".

As they speak green gas begins filling the room.

"And do you ever honestly shut up about Millie? It's always "oh hows Millie?", "I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Millie." "I'm so worried about Millie." And she's always five fucking feet away from you, it's pathetic!"

Jess scowls at Blitzø in anger. "That's his wife, Blitzø! He's supposed to care for her! So stop acting like a selfish bitch! Some people in this world are more important than your sorry ass!" Turning to see Blitzø's surprised face and realizing what she said, Jess's anger was replaced with guilt as the room went quiet.

"Well, that's a lot of balls coming from a girl who couldn't scream that to her own bitch of a mother! No wonder she called your ass worthless!" Blitzø yelled back. But his rage was turned into shock at his own words.

"That was oddly personal". Moxxie says.

"You know what you're right. I don't know why the fuck I let my guts spill like that". says Blitzø.

He turned to his best friend with an ashamed expression. "Jess... you know I-"

"Save it, Blitzø! I was going to apologize but now I want you to just shut your fucking mouth!" Jess barks back with tears in her eyes, causing Blitzø to turn away tearfully as well.

Moxxie now notices the green gas surrounding the three of them. "Sir! Jess! They're filling this room with something!"

"Fuck!" Blitzø sniffs the gas a bit. "The hell is this?"

"I think it's some kind of airborne truth-telling serum" Moxxie answers.

"Oh you just guess that's what it is?" Blitzø asks.

"Well, uh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you."

"Okay uh, does Millie ever peg you?" Jess asks.

"Sometimes", Moxxie blushes a bit before realizing what his co-worker just asked. "Wait, ew fuck! Why that?"

"Heh, I knew it!" Blitzø says.

Moxxie turns to the two in rage. "Well, your jacket is tacky, Jess! Fuck! I'm sorry!"

Jess scoffs. "This was a gift from Blitzø when we were kids! If you want something really tacky, look at Blitzø's suit! Crap, I didn't mean to say that".

Blitzø then gasps. "How fuckin' dare you! At least I don't have shitty taste in music like Moxxie does! I'm sorry!"

"Shit taste? You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!" Moxxie tears up.

"I lied, I left halfway through". Blitzø admits.

"You- you said you loved it!"

"It was awful Moxxie, it was about ugly horny cats!"

"What else have you lied about?!" Jess asks.

"Remember that time you came into my office with all your old crap from your apartment? I stole a red box from there and never told you!" Blitzø answers.

"WHAT?! I was looking for that for 3 years already and you said you would tell me if you found it!"

They all begin wailing. Once again the scene zooms out into them being watched by One and Two again.

"Oh god Moxxie, Jess, I've said so many lies to you two".

Agent 2 laughs while watching the screen. "This is gonna be a good night!"

A vent pumps more gas into the room. Blitzø coughs as he watches the room wriggle and becomes distorted. He shakes his head and turns back to face Moxxie and Jess.

"Damnit guys, this is all your fault!"

"Don't blame us for this!"

"How is this our fault?!"

A musical trill. The sound of wind. The ropes fall away from Moxxie and he walks forwards into purple fog. As he walks into the fog the art style begins to subtly shift into something more Disney-esque and a piece of organ music begins to play.

"Blitzø? Jess?" Moxxie starts to cough. "I- I can't see you two. God this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you? Is this a prank, because I swear to Satan-"

As he turns around, 2 figures are above and behind him. One seems to be facing away from Moxxie. The figures turn out to be Jess dressed like Christine Daaé and Blitzø dressed like the Phantom. Both designs from Phantom of the Opera. Blitzø seems to be playing an organ while Jess is sitting next to him, facing Moxxie.

"It is no prank, bitch!"

"Clueless as ever, aren't you dear boy?"

Blitzø speaks in a slightly deeper octave tone, while Jess's voice is more elegant and higher. Both voices sounding different than what Moxxie normally hears them in.

"Hey! Why do you two sound like that?"

"Please do tell him, love" Hallucination Jess tells hallucination Blitzø.

"It is because you, my precious little bitch boy-"

"Stop it, Sir!"

"-are tripping balls!"

The shiny organ pipes act as a spotlight and points to Moxxie as he begins to sing.

Moxxie: ♫ No, what? How could this be? I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT! It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! Of course, you two, this would be your fault! ♫
♫ My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you two won't judge? ♫

Blitzø & Jess (hallucination): ♫ Yes, bitch! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Not trying to divulge too much, but I'm in too deep so first of all: Fuck You! ♫

Blitzø (hallucination): ♫ What?! ♫

Jess (hallucination): ♫ I beg your pardon?! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ This is all just typical well three can play at this game of dismay 'cause if you're here causing frustrations I'm torturing you in your hallucinations! ♫

*Inside Blitzø's Hallucination*

The style has shifted to be more early rubber hose-like animation. The symbol on his forehead isn't the one normally there but is instead a broken heart. He is wearing a clown outfit. Drums and electric guitar sound, with 3 swirls of sludge in pink, black, and brownish-red float around him.

The red sludge screams and covers Blitzø in slime. He focuses on his hands covered in red sludge as he sniffs and licks it. The red sludge comes up behind him screaming and frightening him. Blitzø stumbles and falls down. The sludge turns into doodle Moxxie & Jess from the "Spring Broken" plan segment.

"We simply follow your orders, it isn't our fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh April shower". says Doodle Jess.

"Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?"

"She is simply speaking Satan's plain English - perhaps you should crack open a dictionary sometime. And then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things we carry on and on about on our..." As Doodle Moxxie is speaking he and Jess flicker back and forth between their standard selves and their doodle selves.

The music gets louder drowning out Doodle Moxxie's words as Blitzø looks up at the 3 sludges circle around them before yelling again.

"Shut up!"

*Inside Jess's Hallucination*

The style changes into a comic-like animation look, (something like Telltale's "Wolf Among Us" or "Spider-man into the Spider-Verse"). As Jess stands up from her chair, she realizes that she's dressed in some type of zombie post-apocalyptic outfit and standing in the middle of a dimly lit forest.

"Moxxie! Blitzø! Where did you guys go?! You know I hate it when-"

"You're all alone and helpless with no one to have your back?"

Jess turns around to the voice that cut her off mid-sentence. It turned out to be Blitzø along with Moxxie, and both are also dressed in the same style as Jess. However, they both gave her an angered look, and their voices sounded more serious and dark.

"It's ashamed how you could've been best there was in Hell. Not only did you have a lackluster performance in all of your talents, but you allowed yourself to be pushed around and hurt by the ones you believed to love you". said Apocalyptic Moxxie.

"W-what do you mean by that?" Jess asks, feeling nervous.

The boys point behind her, to where Jess manages to see a figure reveal herself as Jess's mother. This frightens the imp and she begins running in fear into the forest.

"After her!" orders Apocalyptic Blitzø.

*Back to Moxxie's Hallucination*

Moxxie: ♫ Why do you hurt me so? ♫

Jess (hallucination): ♫ I know! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Why must you push your friends away? ♫

Blitzø (hallucination): [harmonizes] ♫ I push my friends away ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Why does it seem like a recurring theme that you alienate with your toxic routine? ♫

Blitzø (hallucination): ♫ I don't know! Eventually everyone goes! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Cause you're thoughtless and cruel and you'll end up alone! ♫

Moxxie then turns to Jess.

Moxxie: ♫ As for you, you're next I believe. I feel like there's something you're hiding from me ♫

Jess (hallucination): ♫ I was hurt in the past by my terrible mother! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ So you put up with us just to seem like you're better! ♫

Jess (hallucination): ♫ That's all in the past, it affects me no more! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ That's a lie! It hurts worse now than it used to before! ♫

Both Blitzø and Jess shared the same shookth look as they looked at Moxxie.

*Back to Blitzø's Hallucination*

Doodle Moxxie continues to speak to Blitzø "Admit it, my dear boss, you don't know what you are doing half the time, and you depend on me and the Misses to manage your foolish flights of fancy".

"I don't need you guys, I can do this shit on my own so easily!" Blitzø talks back.

The sludge grabs him and throws him on the ground it forms a new person in Blitzø's hallucination: Striker. "But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo!"

Another sludge grabs Blitzø and tosses him into the air, only to catch him as it turns into Fizzarolli "You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well", laughs like a distorted robot. Hallucination Fizz winds him up and throws him to the ground.

Hallucination Verosika then emerges from being covered in sludge and crawls towards Blitzø. "Yet you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you for being a selfish shitty shitfuck!" Her voice turns highly warped and distorted.

Blitzo gets up and runs away up a staircase that appears covered in black gloop. He turns around to see the mud turning into pristine white stairs with golden railings. There are falling shiny feathers that are cleaning the mud. Blitzø trips and looks up where Stolas is sitting on a throne at the top of the stairs, getting fanned by Blitzø's silhouette.

"Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" Stolas grins at Blitzø.

"Then there's me!" Blitzø turns around to see Doodle Jess stepping on one step and turning into her normal self, but also wearing a white lace dress. "Not only was I the first, but the only person you never bothered to step away from. I can't wait to see how that changes".

"That won't change!" Blitzø says to her.

"Why? Because you love me? More than your ex? More than Stolas? More than life itself? Things change Blitzy. And with certain changes and issues happening, how long will it be before I'm gone completely? And it will be your selfish actions that'll be the reason I was driven away".

The hallucination of Striker holds Jess's hand, fingers intertwined. The sight angers Blitzø as he tries to run to them, but golden feathers fall on his wrists and turn into golden shackles, stopping him from reaching any closer. A golden shackle wraps around his neck, attached to golden chains, and his clown costume turns into his suit as he's pulled away from the hallucinations and closer to the top of the stairs.

"I believe your self-conscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy but also crave it as well, it's rather unfortunate, sir. Considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you, such as myself".

As hallucination Doodle Moxxie keeps talking, Stolas pulls the chains closer to him and grins mischievously. The three previous hallucinations, as well as Jess, all turn into sludge again and Doodle Moxxie turns into his normal style but wears a purple dress. "Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well?"

"Stop fucking talking, all of you!" Blitzø yells.

Hallucination Moxxie gets angry and closes his fan, dissolves into gold, and fades away.

*In the Real World*

Back in the interrogation room, Blitzø, Jess, and Moxxie drool in their seats while agents 1 and 2 enjoy the view of watching them. Agent 1 is drinking a soda and agent 2 is munching on popcorn.

*Back to Jess's Hallucination*

Jess continues to run in the forest as she is chased by her hallucinations. She looks behind her to make sure she's far, only to bump into the hallucination of her mother.

"My dear daughter, when will you realize that no matter what you do, you'll forever be nothing but a worthless girl, who has no other purpose in this world".

Jess holds in tears. "I have a purpose!" She throws a punch at her mother, only for her to disappear into the shadows.

"Even if that's true, you don't fulfill it properly". Her mother reappears behind her and pushes Jess to the ground. She's then picked up by her mother, who has a look of disappointment in her eyes. "You believe that trying your best is good enough. Meanwhile, most of your work wouldn't even surprise the weakest link in Hell! Especially considering the bad choices you've made to get to this point. Such as staying with that pathetic excuse you call your friend".

Jess breaks herself from her mother's grasp and continues to run, but then hears a faint child's voice calling out.

"I promise I'll do better! I promise! Just give me a chance!"

Jess turns around to see herself as a child, whose leg is caught in a bear trap. A man is standing next to the trap, facing away from the child, only to disappear a few seconds later as Jess's mother continues to speak.

"There's a reason why most people would rather deal with death itself than stay around you! This is something your father did an example of when he couldn't make time for you other than just a simple 10-second phone call".

Jess runs to the kid to get her free but stops when the kid is pulled behind a tree and disappears.

"You can't change the past and your future has already been set for you. You couldn've made better choices that would've guaranteed you a spot in the higher rankings. Instead, you stuck to the low levels and are gonna die as a disappointment. It's no wonder you can't grasp the reality of you being nothing but a confused imp who has no purpose other than to exist!"

Jess's mother disappears completely for the last time as Apocalyptic Blitzø and Moxxie try to fight against her. Moxxie is holding a bat while Blitzø has an axe.

"People in this world only survive if they're powerful and have the advantage of being with an accepting family". says Apocalyptic Moxxie as he tries to swing his bat at Jess.

"What about you, sweetheart? What are you doing that's worth keeping you alive? Where's your family?" Apocalyptic Blitzø nearly chops Jess, but as she manages to snatch the axe from him, the two hallucinations disappear into the shadows.

To which, the shadows surround Jess and swallow her in complete darkness as she breaks down in horrified tears.

The phrase "You are worthless" is repeated over and over again by the hallucinations from her mind.

*Back to Blitzø's Hallucination Yet Again*

Stolas turns into gold and fades away.

"You are going to die alone", is repeated by the voices of the previous hallucinations.

All of the sludges swirl together as Blitzø is surrounded by a tornado of feathers they surround him sticking to him. All that is left is his mouth and he screams.

*Switch Back to Moxxie's Hallucination One Last Time*

Jess (hallucination): ♫ Why, Moxxie, why have you held your true feelings inside? ♫

Moxxie: ♫ I am scared of rejection. ♫

Blitzø (hallucination): ♫ Why, Moxxie, why do you have Millie put it in your butt? ♫

Moxxie: It gives me an erectio- Hey!

Jess (hallucination): ♫ No need to hide, we accept your true feelings, so promise me - ♫

Moxxie: ♫ That I can do. To be true. ♫

Blitzø (hallucination): [harmonizing] ♫ To be true. The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty. ♫

Moxxie: Oh.

Blitzø (hallucination): ♫ I've been a jackass, it's true. ♫

Moxxie: [harmonizing] ♫ You've been a jackass, it's true. ♫

Jess (hallucination): ♫ But soon as we're back as ourselves. ♫

All: ♫ I will be a better friend than I was before. ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Be better at speaking my mind~ And... ♫

All: ♫ Together we can begin to become...fine. ♫

*With Millie & Loona*

Millie and Loona come up to a 3 by 4 twelve-digit keypad, the number 1 is the only number that seems to be scratched up and faded.

"Try 1" Millie suggests.

Loona presses 1 five times and the door opens as they walk through.

*Back to the Interrogation Room*

Blitzø, Jess, and Moxie wake up from their respective trips. The truth gas has finally run out ad the air becomes clearer.

"Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?" asks Moxxie.

"Not really." Blitzø answers.

"I remember". Jess mentions. "You told him he did a good job and, that you were proud to work with him."

"I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental but, you said that because I needed it. And it helped". Moxxie turns to his boss.

"Look I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for me because, you know, my opinion is correct but, just keep doing a good job, kay? You shoot and kill good, you escape things easy, you could be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, you're good enough for Jess to see you as a younger brother, and don't expect any more compliments, I'm maxed out".

"Thank you, sir".

"You know my name, use it".

"Thanks, Blitzø". Moxxie turns to Jess, who looks like a proud older sibling. "Hey, Jess... What happened earlier? Blitzø mention something about your mom calling you worthless?"

"Moxxie, shut up. She doesn't want to-"

Jess sighed. "I'll speak. He needs to know the story Blitzø". Blitzø nodded as Jess took a deep breath before speaking. "When I was a kid, my mom would always call me worthless, she would mock me, and she would say that I wasn't truly a daughter to her. I thought that if I could become the perfect daughter she wanted, maybe she'll love me. But no matter how hard I tried, she said I was never good enough".

"What about your dad? And your brother? You've talked about them a few times" Moxxie said.

"My dad was never home because of his work. He was a nice bastard. He wasn't too affectionate with me and my brother, but he meant well. As for my brother, he was a laid-back kind of guy. Pretty shady guy, especially since he made secret illegal deals with other demons to help our dad with our money problems. They were great but they were never around much because the assholes they worked for didn't give a shit about them being home".

"And Blitzø?" Moxxie asked.

Jess turned to Blitzø, looking at him teary-eyed but with a smile on her face. "When we met, it was like a miracle from Satan. He showed it was me being... not-so-perfect that made him want to be around me. He taught me that perfection was overrated and that I should just focus on myself instead of the bastards who expect more from me... I just wish I was able to say that to my mother".

"No closure?" Moxxie asked. Jess nodded no and Moxxie tried to comfort her. "Listen, it's not much, but I promise to help you through this. You had my back when I needed it, and I'll have yours".

"Me too", Blitzø joins in. "And... I'm sorry about what I said earlier".

Jess chuckled. "I'm sorry too. Honestly Blitzø, you may not be important to most people, but you're important to me".

"And you're perfect to me".

Blitzø and Jess smile at each other while blushing. Meanwhile, Moxxie looks slightly uncomfortable.

"I feel like a third wheel". He confesses.

"Mox, if we were untied, me and Blitzø would be hugging and I would drag you into the hug too". Jess says. "You know, besides Millie and Loona, you two morons are the closest thing I have to a real family".

Moxxie and Blitzø give each other a happy look before smiling at Jess. "You are too", They both say at the same time.

Suddenly, a rumbling sound is heard as the trio looks up. Millie crashes through the ceiling and runs to untie the group.

"There's my Millie!" Moxxie happily says.

"Get it, girl!" Cheers Jess.

"Impressive work, Mills! How did you get here all by yourself?" Not too long after Blitzø asks that question, Loona uses Agent 2 to break through the mirror-like window. "Loonie!?"

"Get your asses out here before more fuckers show up!", Loona throws Agent 2 at Agent 1 as she turns she begins to transform back into her hellhound form ears first. A wolf howl sound effect plays as she jumps down, she is now fully back in her hellhound form. Blitzø, Jess, and Moxxie pull out guns and cock them. Agent 1 presses a button and alarm noises begin playing. A bunch of disposable agents appear holding weapons.

"Okay I've had 1 too many emotions for today; guys, let's fuck these fuckers up!" Blitzø announces.

The gang set out to fight against the agents in gruesome ways.

An agent threw a kusarigama at Blitzø, to which Loona caught it with her teeth. She snatched it away and used it to slice one agent's neck, wrapped the chain around a few others' heads and decapitate them. Millie uses her axe to chop someone right down the middle. She slices one's limbs, dodges some shurikens, and proceeds to slice two agents in half. Meanwhile, Blitzø and Moxxie are shooting agents, until Blitzø runs out of bullets.

"Mox, cover me!" He shouts as he searches the backpack for new weapons.

"Yes, sir!" Moxxie turns around 360 and shoots the agents around him and Blitzø.

Blitzø tosses Moxxie two pistols as he takes out a dagger and chops up two other agents. "Eat my ass!" he shouts before taking a selfie with someone's missing head. Meanwhile, Moxxie beats down an agent with his pistol as Blitzø shoots someone with a shotgun before passing it to Moxxie. To which Moxxie shoots two agents as Blitzø takes the backpack. They nod at each other before splitting up.

Moxxie hisses while running as Blitzø goes to partner up with Loona and Jess. Jess is shooting wildly against the agents and Loona kicks, punches, and bites the hell out of them. Jess hands Loona a machine gun as they both turn a few agents into bloody corpses.

"Die motherfuckers!" Loona shouts.

"That's my girl, Loonie! I'm proud of you, my murderous hellhound!" Jess tells her, causing Loona to smile happily.

"Thanks mo- uh I mean Jess!" Loona feels slightly embarrassed as she almost called Jess 'mom' again. She and Jess then turn to Blitzø, who is staring at them in awe. "What?"

"I'm also just so damn proud of you Loonie! It's great to see my two beautiful girls getting along!" Blitzø kisses both Loona's cheek and Jess's cheek. "Bye sweetie!"

Blitzø leaves as Loona growls in annoyance and chomps on an agent's head. Meanwhile, Jess stood still, feeling shocked at Blitzø's actions. She touched where he kissed her on her cheek and smiled like an idiot as she giggled a bit. An agent almost hits her with a naginata, but Loona kills him in the nick of time before snapping her fingers in front of Jess's face. "Jess, focus! We're killing these assholes, remember?!"

Jess snaps out of her daydreaming and continues to murder their enemies. However, the kiss stays in her mind.

Meanwhile, Blitzø is at the other side of the room, waving at Millie. "Hey Mills!"

"Hi Blitzø!" Millie waves back. "Just one sec!" Millie gets back into fighting and completely shreds four agents.

"Do you need a gun or anything?" Blitzø offers, holding a gun.

Millie polity declines however. "Nah I'm good" She shreds another agent and chops the head of a few others while riding on one agent's neck. The agent falls to the ground as Millie chokes her with her legs.

"How about some water?"

"Sure!" Millie accepts and Blitzø squirts a bottle of water in her mouth. "Thanks Blitzø!" She crushes the agent's head between her legs.

"No problemy, Millie-Billie"

As Millie runs off, Blitzø pulls two guns out and talks in a dark scary tone. "Now who wants some quality time with Daddy?" Blitzø jumps on an agent with sais as weapons and shoots 4 others before shooting the one he was on. He leaped into the air and did a headshot with two agents before tripping another one and hitting his crotch with a bat. He then tossed a grenade into the air and used the bat to swing it at a group of agents in the corner of the room. "Fore!"

As the grenade explodes, Agents 1 and 2 are attempting to outrun the chaos together. But they stop when a body falls in front of them and get a naginata shoved in its chest.

"Good god! WHY are we only using weapons from japan's Edo period?"

Agent 2 grabs Agent 1 and yells at him "Hey! The Edo period was badass and you know it!"

"Damnit you're right"

"Look out" Agent 2 pulls them both to the floor as they almost got shot by Loona. They attempt to crawl away but they turn in another direction once a decapitated head falls in front of them. Millie being the cause of that, plus the death of a few others.

Meanwhile, Moxxie is standing on top of a pile of dead people and going guns blazing on anyone who got near him. "Bitches!!!"

"Hey Mox?" As Blitzø appears behind him, Moxxie drops the shotgun he was holding and it accidentally goes off and shoots an agent in the crotch. "Oh wow. Really going for the dick there ain't 'cha? Here I got it for ya", Blitzø stabbed the agent. "Now hold this". He puts the backpack in Moxxie's arm and pulls out a rocket launcher labeled 'my dick'. "Oh yeah! Gettin' hard holding this motherfucker!". He gives an evil laugh as he fires the rocket.

The explosion kills the last remaining agents. Moxxie runs up to the girls in concern since they were a bit closer to it. "Oh crumbs, is everyone okay?"

"We're fine, Mox", Jess reassures him.

Suddenly, Blitzø jumps on Moxxie and cheers at their victory. "Wooooooo! How's that for demon scum?"

Agents 1 and 2 are hiding under a desk. She nods at him, and he hits a red button labeled 'red button'. Alarms go off and the entire area turns tinted red.

"Oh shit, c'mon fam let's blow this cock-sicle joint".

They attempt to leave but several layers of doors come down and traps them inside the room.

"Quick! The book!" Moxxie tells Loona.

She pulls it out of the backpack and attempts to read it, but is unable to. "Shit! I can't - I can't read the spell in this light. I can't see dick!"

Blitzø searches himself for more weapons but comes out empty-handed. "Well shit. Looks like we've milked this weapon tit dry and now we're out of badassery".

Agents 1 and 2 aim their weapons at the I.M.P. team. "Ha! You demons aren't goin' anywhere now".

Shadows growl and TVs flicker. Something is rattling. There are glowing red eyes in the shadows. Thuds all around them as agents dodge thrown cables. From the shadows, a voice can be heard. "Who dares threaten my impish little plaything?"

"Who said that?" Agent 1 talks over the last part.

Footprints on the floor going towards the agents. Agent 1 aims at them but is hit in the head and falls over. He looks over at his partner in fear. "Agent 2?"

Agent 2's head begins to spasm, her eyes wide and mouth slack in shock and/or horror. Around her dead bodies stand, eyes completely filled in black and empty. The bodies kneel. Agent 1 attempts to approach Agent 2, her head twists around but her body does not. "What's the matter demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?" Her voice sounds creepy as it's combined with another, and more familiar voice.

The dead bodies draw Stolas's summoning circle around her in their own blood. Her head whips back to its normal orientation and she throws it back. Black shadows fly out of it into a monstrous raven/owl shadow beast form. There's demented laughter in a variety of voices. The shadow beast approaches and screams and roars at the agents the two agents huddle together.

It pulls back and turns into both Roman and Stolas, whose 4 eyes are open and glowing red. They turn away from them and Roman clicks a button, making normal color returns to the room as Stolas walks up to the gathered I.M.P. group. He stops in front of Blitzø, who seemed to be tightly hugging Jess at the moment. He stares at the two with an expression that seemed unreadable at the moment.

"Roman? Stolas? Wha- hold on - How did you two know that we needed help?" Blitzø asks.

"We have our ways. With or without the book, we have memorized 78% of the spells needed to find and help you all" Roman explains. "Anyway, are all of you alright?"

Stolas leans forward, gazing into Blitzø's eyes as he places a hand on his cheek. Blitzø rolls his eyes. "Ugh, we're fine".

"That's good. So, might we ask-"

Roman gets cut off by Stolas as he grabs Blitzø's cheek roughly and gains a sharper tone in his voice. "How the fuck did you get caught by humans? Are you little creatures not being careful up here? You know, if you get in trouble, I get in trouble. We don't want that!" He grabs Blitzø's other cheek to squeeze roughly.

Jess pulls Stolas's hand away from Blitzø, to which he gives her an intense glare and she does the same. Moxxie breaks the tension by standing in the middle of the two and explaining what happened. "They caught us off guard, your highness".

"Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas. It's not gonna happen again, okay?"

"Luckily for you, most don't believe the words of the demon-obsessed lunatics". Stolas looks towards Agents 1 and 2, who are holding each other, shaking in fear that hasn't left them since his and Roman's arrival. "They are seen as kooks!" Stolas then looked rather pleased with himself. "Kooks! Such a silly word! Roman, do you mind doing the honors?"

"Not at all, sir. Now! Let us all return! ". Roman claps his hands together and opens a portal back to hell.

"Yes please. I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible". Moxxie hops through and helps Millie through, Jess and Loona walk through next while looking at Stolas' grimoire.

Stolas picks up Blitzø in a bridal carry. "Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?

"Well, I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?"

"Very much so." He leans in for a kiss. Blitzø grabs the back of his head and pulls him back as Stolas blushes.

"Alright, but you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps". Blitzø runs a finger down Stolas's face as he shudders with obvious pleasure, his feathers fluffing out.

Stolas groans. "Oh, please do~"

The portal closes behind them and Agents One and Two watch as they leave.

Before Blitzø and Stolas kiss, Roman clears his throat to gain their attention. "Sorry to interrupt your... *ahem*... moment, but does this box belong to you, Blitzø? It fell out your pocket a few seconds ago".

Blitzø takes the box before looking at Jess, who was talking with Loona. "Uh, let's save this fucking for the bed, Stolas. I see someone I need to return this to, and she's worthwhile".

Stolas puts him down and watches as he runs next to Jess. He didn't hear the conversation but whatever it was made both Jess and Blitzø blush at each other. He looked saddened and slightly jealous at this, and Roman was the only one to take notice.

"He seems to love her. Madly love her". Stolas crosses his arms, feeling upset.

Roman gently nudges Stolas a bit and smiles at him. "Well, at least you still have me. And I can satisfy your needs and wants whenever you like". Stolas looked at Roman with a smirk, causing the imp to blush a bit. "U-uh, you know what I mean! As a servant!" He walks away quickly as his blush got worse at what he thought Stolas was thinking when he said that.

Stolas laughed at Roman's embarrassment. Lately, he's been more giving, protecting and comforting since the Harvest Moon Festival, and Stolas couldn't figure out why. But he does use this as an opportunity to mess around with the imp whenever he acts too friendly sometimes. Almost to the point where Stolas treated him the same way he does with Blitzø. And to Stolas, Roman was adorable whenever he was a flustered mess.

*Back in the Human World*

"So what now?" Agent 2 asks.

"What now? We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!" Agent 1 types on a computer and shows 4 screens pop on the monitor. 3 screens of I.M.P. and one in the lower right-hand corner of Stolas and Roman - all three screens of I.M.P. are in green, and the Stolas and Roman one in the corner is in red. The two agents put their glasses back on.

"Nobody in corporate is ignoring this". Agent One chuckles as the 4 screens go back to static, first the 3 I.M.P. scenes go back then the Stolas and Roman's corner.

Chapter Text

The scene opens up with a city shot that pans down on Imp City. Yelling can be heard in the background. Loona can be seen reading a magazine called "IMP GOSSIP" with Verosika Mayday on the front page and drinking out of a glass bottle. She places the bottle on an open page of Stolas's grimoire and rolls off the table. The page of the book glows and creates a portal to the human world. A tree falls through the portal, along with a severed head. Moxxie peers out of the fallen tree, carrying a chainsaw.

"Woo, that was a fuck ton of lumberjacks!" Blitzø says as he walks into the office.

Jess comes in next holding a huge survival blade with someone's arm stuck to it. "Hell yeah, it was! My blood is still pumping from the last few kills!" She rips the arm off and throws it back through the portal.

Millie crawls across the floor, with an axe between her teeth. "I'm still so jazzed up!!" She snaps the axe in half and laughs before she walks over to the rest of the group.

"Well you better stay jazzed", Moxxie points finger guns. "Babe, because guess where I'm taking you tonight?"

"Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence, Moxxie". Blitzø says. "Besides, drinks are on me tonight. Let's hit up the new dive down the street".

Moxxie gets off the tree and dusts himself off before explaining what he meant to Blitzø. "Actually sir, it's our one-year marriage anniversary. So I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!"

Millie's eyes sparkle and she squeals in delight. "Ozzie's?! No way! That place is always booked!"

"Yeah, well I've been planning it for quite a while".

"Moxxie!" Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms and kisses his face before they both start French kissing and making out. Blitzø rolls his eyes and Jess 'awws' at the couple.

"Ugh, can you two not?" Blitzø groans.

"I'm sorry sir". Moxxie apologizes in a lovestruck tone. "Maybe another time?"

"No, it's fine!" Blitzø grabs Jess and pulls her close to him. "Jess and I have plans for the night too".

Jess frees herself from Blitzø's grip. "Sorry Blitzø. I'm actually heading to the Lust Ring too. While killing those lumberjacks, I saw that one of them had an engagement ring. So I took it and I'm meeting up with my brother to give it to him. He says he needs it to propose to his boyfriend".

Blitzø turns back to Moxxie and Millie. "Well then, I-I can come with the two of you, help you celebrate your boring as fuck monogamy".

"Uh no. The reservation is for us". Moxxie tells him.

"Uh-huh".

"Just us".

"Mhm".

"Without you there. Explicitly without you there".

"I wear something nice. It's a big deal after all". Blitzø hugs Moxxie and Millie tightly. "See you lovebugs later!" He whistles on his way out to his office.

Moxxie growls and Millie tries to calm him down. "Relax sweetie, don't let him get to you today. Let's just go home and clean this blood off". She drags her finger down from Moxxie's chest to his crotch and makes a seductive purring sound.

They walk out of the room as Loona looks up to see Jess looking at Blitzø's office door with a nervous face. "Something troubling you? Is it Blitzø?"

Jess scratches the back of her head before turning to Loona. "Hey Loona, how would you feel if Blitzø and I became a thing... you know, a couple?"

"Honestly, having you as my mom sounds pretty cool", she gives a small smile.

Jess smiles back and hands Loona a note, along with the red box that Blitzø gave back to her. "When you get home, give these to Blitzø. And before you ask, no it's not a confession. It's just a little reminder for him".

Loona places the items away and Jess leaves the office as she gives a heartfelt sigh.

*At Hell's Version of an Airport*

"Elevator 666 departing for Lust," The Intercom says before speaking in a seductive tone. "in 5 minutes".

Moxxie fixes his bowtie as Millie walks up to him. They both walk off together and Blitzø peers from on the other side of a pillar. Millie and Moxxie sit down in a waiting area as Blitzø spies on them behind a newspaper and calls Loona.

The call goes to voicemail. "Yeah it's Loona. Whoever you are, go for it".

"Hey Loonie, just wanted to let you know I'm not gonna be back home until real late. I got something important tonight". Blitzø ends the voicemail and smirks. He starts to look around for Jess and spots her sitting in the far corner. She was wearing a short and tight looking 2 piece purple dress with her jacket still on her. The sight alone was enough for Blitzø to blush and his pants started to feel slightly tight.

*At the Lust Ring*

The scene cuts to several flickering neon signs. Then it zooms out to Ozzie's and cuts to Moxxie and Millie walking inside the building. Blitzø attempts to walk inside but the bouncer pulls him aside. "Woah there buddy. Got a reservation?"

"Oh yeah. I'm with those two". Blitzø tells him.

"This club is for couples only".

"It's what?"

"No date, no reservation, no entry".

Blitzø looks up and down at the bouncer and tries to flirt with him. "...Y-you know, you have really nice eyes, daddy?" Blitzø bats eyes at him before he gets thrown into the lid of a dumpster, then shut inside. Blitzø pops up out of the trash. "You fucking prude!" He flips him off as he gets out and lies down on top of trash bags. He crosses his arms in frustration before hearing a familiar voice.

"Blitzø?" Blitzø looks up to see Jess and she tries to help him back up. "Are you following me?" She asks while slightly blushing.

Blitzø tries to explain himself but begins to stutter. "W-what? No! Y-you see I was- I-I wasn't- You specifically- I... Wait". An idea then popped into his head. "Hey Jess, did you finish meeting up with your brother?"

"No. I'm about to, and when I'm done, the rest of my night is free. Why?"

Blitzø smiles. "I was wondering if you... wanna come and be my date for Ozzie's tonight?"

Jess's blush got worse the minute she processed what she heard. "L-like a romantic date? Like a couple thing?"

Blitzø then realized what he just did. He asked out his crush on a date just so he could spy on his employees. There's no way he would be able to turn back from this now. "I-yes, I suppose so".

Feeling confused but intrigued by her best friend's actions, Jess gave him a genuine answer. "Yes, I would like that. Just give me 10 minutes to meet up with my brother, and then we can go".

Blitzø watched as Jess walked away to a different alleyway. He didn't mean to do this and his emotions were now a mix of scared, nervous, curious, excited, maybe a bit lustful, and a bunch of others he couldn't recognize. And he hoped that by the end of the night, things would not get any worse.

*Meanwhile at Stolas' Mansion*

Stolas pours milk into his cereal. He groans as he is sitting at an empty table. He carries his bowl to a couch and covers himself with a blanket. Stolas turns on the TV to "Hell-a-Novela" and slumps down, while Roman is sweeping in the background.

"Why won't you love me Alejandro?" says a female imp on TV.

"That's a mood, Gabriella". Stolas sadly eats a spoon of cereal.

Roman looks at him and starts to feel a bit sad himself. If he and Stolas had a normal boss/employee relationship, he wouldn't care. But since the two were friends, all Roman wanted to do was help the poor guy out.

After giving himself some time to think, he had an idea and walked over to Stolas to get his attention. "Stolas, you can't just sit here all night, eating cereal and watching heartbreaking novelas".

"Yes, I can" Stolas replies.

"No, you can't", Roman tells him while trying to sound less harsh. "So to lift your spirits, or give you a healthier distraction, how about you head to a club to have some fun?"

"Why bother? I'm still going to be by myself. Even around all those people" Stolas tells him.

Roman sighs as he tries to think of a way to convince him. "How about if I go with you? We can hang out and I promise to give you a great night. But you're still not having fun, I'll bring you back home. Deal?".

Stolas looks at Roman and gives him a soft smile. He really appreciated that he was trying to make him happy, and turning him down would be a bit rude. "It's a deal. But what clubs do you have in mind?"

Roman takes out his phone and starts searching for available clubs to go to. Most of them seemed booked except for one. "What about Ozzie's? Oh but wait, then it would feel less like friends hanging out and more like..."

"...a date?" Stolas finishes for him as the two look at each other awkwardly. "Well, it's better than nothing. And besides, it doesn't have to feel like a date... unless, of course, if you want it to be one~". He starts messing with the imp.

"U-um" Roman blushes and clears his throat as he books them for Ozzie's club. "How fast do you want to get down to the Lust Ring?"

"I can be ready in 20". Stolas rushes to his closet.

"All right, fantastic. Meet me downstairs when you're ready", Roman starts to walk away.

Stolas calls out for Roman one last time. "Oh, and Roman, thank you for being thoughtful and trying to help".

"Hey, it's my job to serve, isn't it". He says before heading to his room.

Stolas pulls out an outfit, transitioning to him putting on eyeliner, and looking in the mirror. He turns around and puts on some blush.

Meanwhile, Roman puts on a blue blazer, a pair of dark blue slacks, and a beret hat. He walks downstairs and looks amazed as he sees Stolas in a fancy outfit. "Whoa, you look absolutely dazzling". He compliments.

Stolas chuckles. "W-well I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all".

Roman's expression becomes awkward. "I don't know what to say about that".

"I'm just teasing". Stolas playfully rubs Roman's head, almost making his hat fall off. "Now, let us go and have some fun". He opens a portal to the Lust Ring and the two step inside.

*Back to the Lust Ring*

Blitzø is pacing back and forth on a street while waiting for Jess to return. "Come on, come on, come on..."

"I'm back!" Jess comes from the darkness of an alleyway and walks to Blitzø. "Sorry I took so long. My brother started asking about the company and why my choker is missing... Anyway, shall we?"

She and Blitzø start holding hands when suddenly Stolas and Roman arrive and step through a glowing portal behind the two imps. A spotlight appears on them and the two are spotted by Stolas and Roman.

"Blitzy? You're here too?" Stolas asks.

Blitzø and Jess turn around and see the two in their new outfits. "Wow. That's a bit overkill, don't ya think?"

"Well, I, for one, think we look cool", Roman tells him. "Anyway, why are you two here?"

"W-well, I asked Jess out to Ozzie's and she said yes", Blitzø tells them.

"So, you two are on a date?" Stolas asks, his eye twitching from slight jealousy. "Hey, I just thought of a wonderful idea. What if we go on a double date? You know, me with Roman and you with Jess".

Blitzø tries to weasel his way out of this. "Uh, no. This was just going to be reserved for me and Jess. Just us. Without you two there. Explicitly without you two there".

"Now you know how Moxxie felt," Jess says to him as they both walk off together, holding hands.

Stolas and Roman look at each other for a few seconds before following the friends to Ozzie's.

Blitzø and Jess were about to go through the front entrance until the bouncer stopped them. "You again? Beat it, shithead!"

"Hey, look I have a date now! So, just let me in!" Blitzø says.

"She's probably a prostitute you paid to be your date. Like anyone would date an ugly-looking asshole like you!"

Both Jess and Blitzø were furious about the bouncer's words, and they would've killed him if Stolas and Roman hadn't shown up. "Ahem, do we have a problem?"

"Excuse me sir, but I believe that these two are with us. I booked us a spot here for a double date and they arrived ahead of time, so please allow them in... Unless you want to anger the prince here". Roman says smugly as Stolas gave the bouncer a scary expression.

"...Oh uh, shit-uh my apologies your highness. Uh, please go right in".

The 4 demons went inside, but Blitzø pops out behind the curtain and flips off the bouncer before following them.

Jess thanks them as they get inside. And though Stolas ignored her, Roman said it was no big deal. While trying to find a table both Jess and Stolas couldn't help but admire the club. "Oh, MY! Oh no; no, but yes! Oh Roman, how romantic is this?"

"It's really something, isn't it? Well, we came here to have fun and we-" Roman was cut off when Stolas squeezed his hand gently.

"Mind if we... take a table near Blitzy, Roman? If that's alright with you?" Stolas asked.

Roman knew this would cause problems. Not just for Blitzø and Jess, not just for him, but for Stolas trying to move on when the imp he's infatuated with is on a date with another person. He wants to make Stolas happy, but for that, he should give him what he needs, and not what he wants.

"Sorry Stolas, but I found out that some of the tables around them are booked. How about we sit over here?" Roman drags the prince to the other side of the club and the two sat down at a table near the stage.

Roman felt guilty for lying, but he was trying to help. He just hope that what he was doing was right. The two sat in awkward silence for a while until Stolas spoke up. "So... uh... do you have a family?"

Roman smiled a bit. "Well, I still keep in contact with my sister and my sibling. They're both younger than me so I always had to babysit them a lot when I was 13".

"Well, that explains why you're so good with Octavia".

"I love kids. If I had my own business, it would most likely be a daycare. Uh, not that I don't love my job now, I assure you-"

Stolas chuckles a bit, "I know, Roman. What about a boyfriend? I'm just curious about if you've ever had one".

"Well, I used to have one when I was a teenager. We broke up because..." Roman paused and he frowned sadly. "Well we just had a problem we couldn't fix. And when the damage was done, I couldn't change it".

Stolas now looked sad. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's fine. And besides, we're here for you to be happy, not for me to speak about my backstory". Roman forces a smile.

Stolas was flattered by what Roman was doing, but he was also concerned about the fact that he wasn't thinking about his own emotional well-being. "Roman, remember when I said I considered you a part of the family? I meant it. I care about you a lot, and I won't stand for this if you're going to repress your emotions".

"Well..." Roman sighs. "Look, when I'm ready, I'll speak with you. But now is not the time, okay? Let's just focus on you having fun".

"I think you mean us having fun", Stolas places his hand on Roman's and the two start blushing with heartfelt expressions at each other.

*Meanwhile with Blitzø and Jess*

The two imps sat at the opposite side of the club. Jess was feeling nervous but also happy. Although, she wanted to know why Blitzø wanted to go out with her. "What made you choose to ask me out on a date? At Ozzie's of all places?" she asked.

Blitzø pulls out a pair of binoculars and smiles sweetly. "Oh, it just sounded like- I just thought we'd have a blast here, you know? Two friends, hanging out and getting closer". As he speaks, he looks around the club and eventually finds Millie and Moxxie. "Gotcha!"

"Blitzø, what are you looking at?" Jess asks him.

He doesn't turn around as he responds to her. "I'm looking at nothing; how about that?"

Jess rolls her eyes as a waitress comes over to their table. "Can I get you two off- I mean, start you two off with some drinks?"

"Yeah, sure. Um, maybe two glasses of wine; do you want red wine or white, Blitzø? Or we can get some champagne if you'd like?" Jess asks.

Blitzø still doesn't turn around. "Yeah, whatever".

Jess nervously chuckles. "Well, let's get all three. Why not? So Blitzø, uh... how was your day?".

Blitzø finally looks at Jess. "Huh? Oh, good I guess. Jess, you were there when we killed a bunch of beardos".

"That was honestly fun!" Jess awkwardly giggles before slumping a bit in her seat when she sees that Blitzø went back to looking at something else. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"N-no! You're doing fine". Blitzø reassures her. "What? You've never been on a date before?"

"...no..." Jess admits shamefully. "This is my first one, and what makes it more awkward is that it's with you".

After hearing that, Blitzø puts his binoculars away and turns his attention from Moxxie and Millie to Jess. "What do you mean by that?"

"You've been my friend for a very long time. And the fact that this is where our friendship ended up is so... so..."

"Confusing? Scary? Weird?" Blitzø tries to guess what she was trying to say.

"More like all three, plus a few other emotions I've never even heard of. I honestly don't know how to feel, or if I'm doing anything right, or-"

Blitzø cuts her off and places his hand over hers before she can say anymore. "Jess, you worry too much. All of these weird feelings, tell them to fuck off for now, and let you have a great time with your bestie". Blitzø then looks at his hand and realized what he was doing before pulling away.

"Right, right..." Jess and Blitzø both started smiling stupidly and blushing. "So, what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?"

Blitzø's blush got worse when he realized he didn't know how to respond. "Uhhhhhhhhhh". He couldn't say he was there for Moxxie and Millie because it would make Jess feel like she was being used. But then again, saying it was because he loved her would also be a terrible choice if she rejects him.

Thankfully for him, music starts playing and several dancers descend from the ceiling.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight!" Fizzarolli, (the real one), descends from the center stage. Along with a familiar face that Jess recognized almost instantly. Tourmaline.

She was wearing an outfit that looked similar to the Robo Fizz from Loo Loo Land but more with a feminine look, and one of her hands was now metal and robotic. "Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gem joint of Asmodeus himself! C'mon, give him some LOVE!" Tourmaline finishes for Fizzarolli.

Stolas and Roman stopped their conversation when Stolas started to feel nervous. "Did she just say 'Asmodeus'?"

"Oh, no fucking way. Not HIM". Blitzø hides behind a menu. Jess copies him. No way is she letting Tourmaline see her after that incident in Loo Loo Land.

"I am the one and only Fizzarolli. Some of you may recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous toy botic replicas across the rings of Hell. Gloriously designed by the big man himself and my lovely lady, Tourmaline". Fizzarolli kisses Tourmaline on the lips before pulling away and rolling up one of his sleeves. "Ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight: Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream, and 'The Squirters'."

Verosika appears at the bar with Justin by her side and the two quickly shove aside Wally Wackford as the latter hands them a drink.

"But as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for you all". Tourmaline starts to speak. "Did any of you hear about the bat-shittery that happened at Loo Loo Land?" The audience laughs as she continues. "Ha ha ha, oh yeah, oh wow. I'll tell you what: I'd sure love to shake the 'hand' of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to burn down that off-brand shithole and then slap a subpoena in it, 'cause I am VERY MUCH looking to sue, as well as get revenge!" Both Stolas and Blitzø look away. "Take it from me, after they left, both my hand and Robo Fizz were broken beyond repair. I got a new robot hand but unfortunately, the bot only lasted a few days before I realized rebuilding him wasn't an option. I said my goodbye to an old friend after he told me to meet up with another one. Which is the very one who stands before you".

Fizzarolli starts bowing to the crowd before Tourmaline can finish up. "After that, I turned him into scrap and used him to upgrade myself. I explained everything to Fizzarolli and he agreed for me to work with him, which turned me into the sexy lady I am now".

The crowd cheers as Fizzarolli speaks next. "That robo me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean". He and Tourmaline giggle maniacally until someone from the crowd speaks up.

"Oh, I know what you mean! I have four of them!"

"Are we going to get some with her?" Another crowd member points at Tourmaline. "If so, I'm buying 8!"

Fizzarolli then speaks into a mini mic from his collar, feeling a bit creeped out. "Okay, keep those two FAR away from us". He turns back to the audience. "SO, without wasting any more time, our little opening act is a fresh one! Coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath ring, give it up for Moxxie... with no creative stage name whatsoever".

The audience applauds, as Moxxie gets up with his guitar before kissing Millie on the cheek. Fizzarolli carries Tourmaline and moves from their spot to another, as Moxxie takes the stage. "Hello everyone--" Feedback from the microphone causes him to pause for a second before continuing. "Oh! Um. Hi, thank you for letting me be here. It's an honor to play".

"Uh, hurry up, boy! Sing, boy! I say, I say..." Wally Wackford says off-screen in a drunk voice.

"Shut the hell up, Wally!" Tourmaline yells at her cousin.

Ignoring them, Moxxie continues his announcement. "This song is for my beautiful wife, a surprise for our first anniversary". Millie gives her husband a happy look on her face. "I love you, Millie". Moxxie starts strumming his guitar as he begins to sing his song.

♫I love you. ♫
♫More than the brimstone loves the fire.♫
♫More than Beelze loves her bub♫
♫More than a maggot loves gangrenes stubs♫

During the song, everyone gives confused looks on their faces except for Millie, who is just touched by the song playing. Fizzarolli and Tourmaline look at their companion with a smug look.

♫You make my spirit sing♫
♫Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell♫
♫Our love is a story sweet to tell♫
♫Yeah you cast a special Satanic spell♫
♫Over my heart♫

The smoke machines activate, hitting Millie directly. The scene is full of pink smoke and hearts only surrounding Moxxie and Millie.

♫Love is a journey we decided to start♫
♫Yeah, I hope we'll never ever be apart♫
♫I love you (x6)♫

Saying the same quote over and over, this is drowned by Fizzarolli, Tourmaline, and Asmodeus saying the same thing over him. Their silhouettes are shown laughing right behind his back. They appear from the smoke.

Asmodeus: ♫You singing love songs in my lustful lounge?♫

Tourmaline: ♫Ozzie's ain't the place for sentimental sounds♫

Asmodeus: ♫What'd you expect from a proprietor like us?♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Your demon host, Asmodeus, the embodiment of lu-u-u-u-u-ust!♫

Asmodeus: ♫Give me a thrust♫

Fizzarolli and Tourmaline make trumpet sounds.

♫You show me some lust♫

Trumpet sounds again.

♫From the groin to the bust, in desire we trust, in the House of Asmodeus♫

Fizzarolli & Tourmaline: [vocalizing again] Trumpet!

Asmodeus: ♫Little Imp, you came here to sing your serenade♫
♫Perform your feelings on a velvety stage♫
♫Well, we got a saying that's popular in these parts♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Only little bitches strum the strings of their hearts!♫

Asmodeus: ♫You wanna hang around this lustful town?♫
♫Ditch the lovey-dovey before we knock you around♫
♫Here we sing about wants and desires♫

Tourmaline: ♫Depravity, savagery, loins hotter than fire!♫

Asmodeus: ♫So give me a thrust♫
♫Show me some lust♫
♫From the groin to the bust, Little Imp, you just must♫
♫In the House of Asmodeus♫
♫Come on, sing us a so-o-o-o-ong!♫

Asmodeus dances on a pole while Fizzarolli and Tourmaline throw money on him.

♫Make sure the subject is getting it on♫
♫Make it graphic and tactfully long♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Be sure to rhyme "thong"♫

Tourmaline: ♫And "schlong"♫

Asmodeus: ♫Go ahead, the mic's on♫

Moxxie nervously continues his part of the song. He strums his guitar once more quietly.

Moxxie: ♫I want to...♫

Tourmaline: Yeah, what do you want?

Fizzarolli: Butt stuff? Piss play? Bondage?

Moxxie: ♫Make gentle love to you♫

Asmodeus, Fizzarolli, and Tourmaline are not pleased with the response he gave.

Asmodeus: ♫Ugh! What a limp-dick imp, you're really killing the vibe♫
♫Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride♫

The audience makes fun of Moxxie until the song is interrupted by an angry-looking Jess speaking up. "Hey watch it, buddy, the lust may not be there 24/7, but the love is! So back the hell off the wholesome and beautiful relationship they have!"

"Yeah and also I've watched those two pork many times". Blitzø joins her.

Moxxie is surprised to find both Blitzø and Jess there. "What?! Blitzø?! Jess?!"

"And honestly, they make missionary look, relatively exciting".

Moxxie has a disgusted look on his face. Tourmaline pops in with a mad yet amused expression.

Tourmaline: ♫Is that Blitzo? So you're showing your face?♫
♫Hey, everybody! This guy's a total disgrace!♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Some nerve you've got to comment on a relationship♫
♫Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!♫

Verosika appears behind them with the spotlight on her as she starts to sing next, with Justin harmonizing.

Verosika: Oh, Blitzo?
♫I used to date him♫

Blitzø gets an annoyed look. "Oh, Verosika, you're here".

Verosika: ♫I'd stroke and I'd fellate him♫

Justin: [harmonizes] ♫Fellate him, fellate him♫

Verosika: ♫Yeah, but when it was my turn♫

Justin: [harmonizes] ♫Your turn, your turn♫

Verosika: ♫He did no reciprocatin'♫

Justin: [harmonizes] ♫What a bitch-ass♫

Verosika backs Blitzø against the wall and Justin holds Jess back.

Verosika: ♫A selfish imp in the sheets♫
♫And just as bad in the streets♫
♫A reckless, heartbreaking freak♫

Jess elbows Justin in the crotch, causing him to let go of her. He bends over in pain as Jess runs over to help Blitzø back up. She then turns to the demons in pure rage and starts yelling. "LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU HEARTLESS HORNY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"

Asmodeus gets near Jess's angered face and drags her away from Blitzø. "Ooooh, we got a fiery one here. I'm surprised that she's giving ass to a guy like him". He gestures to Blitzø before passing Jess to Fizzarolli, who tosses her around.

Fizzarolli: ♫Dear Jessica, a girl of missed potential♫
♫Just so she can be with someone not-so-special♫

He passes her to Verosika and Justin, who push her back and forth with each other.

Verosika: ♫You want to get in his pants? You should leave while you have a chance♫
♫In the end, you'll be hurting. Cause he won't respect you as a woman♫

Justin: ♫Didn't you see the signs? They all spell trouble♫
♫Take from these guys, you'll just end up in the rubble♫

They spin Jess around until she trips and falls to the ground. With Tourmaline standing over her.

Tourmaline: ♫You can argue with us, but in the end, it's all just facts♫
♫He's heartless, you're clueless, and you can't fight that♫

Jess can't get any angrier so instead her emotions switched from rage to feeling dejected. Roman couldn't take this and yelled at the group to stop, which was a mistake he regretted as soon as everyone's attention was passed on to him and Stolas.

Asmodeus: ♫Who's that at the table? Is your date a demon prince?♫

Fizzarolli gets a closer look at Stolas.

♫Stolas, is that you?♫

Wally Wackford: ♫Are you sleeping with an Imp?!♫

Asmodeus: ♫Wooo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall♫
♫You used to have a smoking wife, a kid you had it all♫

Illusions of Octavia and Stella appear before him, until they walk away and disappear, leaving only Roman in front of him, with Blitzø directly in back of him.

♫I hope you didn't give it up, so you and him could get it on♫

Stolas and Blitzø look away from each other in shame, while Jess and Roman give very upsetting expressions.

♫You sold your life for a thrust!♫
♫Now that's the spirit of lu-u-u-ust♫
♫Grab your groin or a bust♫
♫You better get your head must♫
♫Pretend you don't see that crust♫
♫Hump 'til your junk turns to dust♫

Fizzarolli, Tourmaline and Asmodeus: ♫In the House of Asmode-e-e-e--♫

Millie interrupts the verse by smacking Fizzarolli with Moxxie's guitar and kicking Tourmaline off the stage. "I think you were trying to sing something for me, Mox". She hands Moxxie back his guitar.

"Yeah, I was". Moxxie strums his guitar once more.

Moxxie: ♫I love us♫
♫I love us just the way we are♫

Asmodeus tends to a knocked out Fizzarolli and Tourmaline.

♫Don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't♫

A backstage Imp looks at this with boredom, but accidentally pulls one of the levers, lifting Moxxie and Millie up on a stage lift.

♫I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes♫
♫I'll never take you for granted♫
♫I'll always give you my best♫
♫And if you can offer the same thing♫
♫We'll handle the rest♫
♫'Cause I love you♫

Fizzarolli and Tourmaline share a cuddle as Asmodeus looks at them lovingly, while Verosika and Justin each drink a cup of wine in the back.

♫'Cause I love you♫

Moxxie and Millie lean in for a passionate kiss and the audience applauds. Roman and Stolas get up from their seats and proceeded to leave the club.

Jess looks at Blitzø, who seems humiliated. She reaches for his hand to comfort him, but he pulls his hand away from her. "You know what? This was a mistake. Alright, let's just -- let's just leave".

"Oh... Sure... Of course". Blitzø and Jess leave the building.

Moxxie and Millie still share a kiss, meanwhile Fizzarolli and Tourmaline gain unimpressed faces, and Asmodeus watch in on them. "Aw... ain't that just such a happy display? It sickens me!" His voice then turns demonic. "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!"

*Later*

Outside of Stolas's mansion, Blitzø drives Stolas and Roman back to their place after Jess suggested they do so. After all, everyone had such a rough night.

Stolas bumps his head while getting out of the van and turns to Roman. "Thank you, for... taking me out tonight, Roman. Despite everything that's happened, I... I enjoyed spending time with you".

Roman responded with a heartfelt smile before turning to Blitzø and Jess. "Thanks for driving home, guys".

"It was no big deal. Right, Blitzø?" Jess turns to her friend.

Blitzø had an irritated look on his face. "Yeah".

Stolas tries to return the favor. "You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia's with her mother this weekend, so we all could--"

"I'm not fucking you tonight, okay? I'm really just--" Blitzø sighs and tears up a bit. "I'm really not in the mood, Stolas. Besides I've got to bring Jess home".

"We could talk, or... watch a movie, or... maybe cuddle?"

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay?" Blitzø talks back at him.

"Hey, there's no need to get angry. He's just trying to--"

Blitzø cuts Roman off and his tone rises a bit. "Stop defending him, Roman! You know he makes that really clear all the time". Blitzø's voice then starts breaking. "But I just, I-I can't do it tonight, okay?" Everyone looks at each other with sad looks on their faces. "I'm sorry".

"Okay". Stolas sighs and steps back a bit. "Goodnight, Blitzø. You too, Jess".

"Night". Blitzø drives away from the mansion, leaving Stolas and Roman all alone. Stolas sheds a tear and sits in front of his staircase, feeling some form of regret. Roman too feels some guilt after what happened.

He attempts to walk inside but is stopped when Stolas grabs his hand. "Please... don't leave..." he said, almost sounding like he was begging. Roman gave himself a few seconds before sitting down next to Stolas. The two hugged each other in a comforting way as both of them became more teary-eyed.

*With Blitzø and Jess*

As Blitzø drives Jess home, the two remained quiet throughout most of the ride. Jess tries to break the silence and speak with Blitzø but doesn't truly know what to say that would lighten the mood.

Once they pulled up in front of her apartment, Jess got out of the car and turned around to face her friend. "You know, this date wasn't a total loss. At least I found out you care enough to--"

"Jess, I just went through this with Stolas. None of this means our relationship is anything more than it was before". Blitzø feels his heart start to ache. "We're just friends. Strictly just friends and nothing more. I only asked you out because... because..."

Not wanting to know the truth, and believing it would make her feel worse, Jess didn't allow him to finish. "You don't need to finish that sentence. I get it; relationships aren't your thing. After all, we're both alone for a reason". She starts to tear up. "I have to go... I'll... I'll see back at the office..." Jess ran to her apartment's entrance as Blitzø hit his head on the van's steering wheel. He realized that after tonight, he ruined any chance he ever had of being a couple with Jess.

He drove away as Jess made it to her floor and entered her apartment's door. She took off her jacket and threw it across the room as a waterfall of tears left her face. She leaned against the front door and slide down until she was sitting on the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest and gave a sad sigh.

*Meanwhile with Blitzø*

Blitzø was sighing and walking into his apartment. His shadow is seen past a wall of various photos of his coworkers. One of the photos has himself shaded out. He attempts to lock on Loona's door, which despite the warning signs, finds a note taped on the door that says, "Tex invited me to a party, B back late, Don't wait up!"

Blitzo, disappointed again, slumps onto his couch and finds the red box he gave Jess, along with a note. He opens the note and silently reads it in his mind.

"To my bestest friend, Blitzø,

I lived my childhood in lonesome pain
Believing that things would never change
You came into my life and helped with my misery
It was there I knew that you would stay by me
Every day, I would laugh with you
Every moment, you made me feel less blue
We spent a few years together, our friendship so true
So no matter what happens, I'll always love you

From your dearest friend, Jess"

He places the note away, feeling a bit guilty, and opens the red box to find a choker similar to Jess's missing one but with a ruby stone on it instead of a sapphire one. Blitzø puts it in his pocket before pulling out his phone, looking at various photos of himself and the others. He comes across a picture of him and Stolas cuddling, swipes to a picture of him drinking bubble tea with Jess, Moxxie, and Millie, then swipes to a photo of him and Moxxie getting promoted, swiping to a photo of when he first adopted Loona, then swipes to a photo with him and Verosika.

Eventually, he swipes to photos of his younger self with a younger Fizzarolli (whose skin color and head tattoo are similar to that of Blitzø's), and swipes to a photo of him and Jess on the day they first met as kids. Finally, Blitzø stops scrolling when he gets to a photo with him, his sister, and his mother. This causes him to curl up and cry into a pillow.

Chapter Text

The episode opens with an exterior shot of the Goetia mansion. Stolas (who is currently 11 years old), is asleep in his bed, surrounded by stuffed animals while hugging one of them. He then wakes up and his eyes shoot open in realization as he sits up. "My birthday! My birthday! It's my birthday!"

He leaps out of the sheets and lands on all fours on the floor. He runs off to his dressing room, arms raised in excitement as an Imp butler walks into view to attend to him. "Yaaaay! Birthday, birthday! WOOHOO! Birthday tiiiiime!"

The butler opens a tin of hair gel and begins applying it to Stolas while speaking to him. "Calm yourself, young Prince. You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia".

"Oh! Right". Stolas takes a deep breath to calm himself. The butler walks off to retrieve Stolas' vest and cape, returning to put them on him. "But, Father told me, today is the day, I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility!" He says, feeling excited as his eyes sparkle with glee.

"Of course". The butler places a crown on Stolas' head. "I'm sure it will be wonderful".

"I sure of it too", said a female imp servant, who stood outside the dressing room.

The servant was named Elodie. She has been working for the Goetia family for a while and although she disliked some of her bosses, Stolas was an exception. They grew fond of each other over the years and Elodie acted as a nanny for him most of the time. She was a gentle soul with a calming and tranquil voice that fitted with her personality and Stolas was often glad that she helped care for him.

"Oh, hello Elodie", Stolas greeted her happily.

"Hello to you too, Prince Stolas. And happy birthday", She smiles before turning to the butler. "I'll take it from here. Come along now".

Stolas follows Elodie out of the dressing room and down a large hallway, as they pass by four giant pictures of Stolas at various ages. The first shows Stolas in his egg sitting upon a pillow and topped with a crown. The second shows him as a hatchling swaddled up in his crib. The third shows him as what can be assumed to be a toddler. And the fourth shows him in his current appearance, hugging a demon plush.

Near one of the pictures is an 11-year-old Roman, who seemed to be reading a novel about vampires. Elodie was Roman's mother, and she would bring him with her to work once in while so he can see what her job is like and spend time with her. It was allowed under the condition that he would not be 'in the way' of the others, which wasn't too bad.

Roman then looks up to see his mother passing by and smiles as she pats his head gently. But upon seeing that Stolas was with her, he quickly puts on a serious face and tries to show respect, meanwhile, Stolas just waves kindly at him.

Soon, Stolas and Elodie stand in front of large double doors, which opens up to reveal a throne room. Paimon, Stolas' father and King of the Ars Goetia, is seen sitting on the throne in his monstrous black demon form. He stands up, his form shifting to display various demonic creatures as he transforms into his normal, bird-like self. Elodie walks over to Paimon and stands next to him as Stolas approaches his father.

"Ahhhh! There is my little, uh..."

Stolas smiles gleefully up at his father, unaware that he forgot his name.

Paimon whispers to Elodie while pointing at Stolas. "Which son is this one? There's so fucking many".

"It's Stolas, your highness". She whispers back.

"Stolas! Yes! Ha! Right, right!" Paimon chuckles. "That's the one! The owl boy". He begins walking toward Stolas and stands in front of him. "Well, my little one, it is finally your day of becoming a true part of the Goetia family. How good for you. Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?" He asks as he walks around his son.

"Yes, Father!" Stolas replies confidently.

Paimon opens a portal to the cosmos as he speaks, showing Stolas the stars of the human world. "You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies, the stars, the prophecies they hold, all that stuff". He closes the portal and summons a Grimoire. "Isn't that fun? You will begin the studies of your Grimoire, which will grant you access to the mortal realm to study and observe, and you will grow to be a mighty Prince of Hell, with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to!" He levitates the Grimoire to Stolas, who is filled with happiness.

"I will do my best, Father!" He says.

Suddenly, Paimon leans toward Stolas and pulls a picture from his cloak. "Wonderful! Also, son, you are destined to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family, so you are now engaged. Congratulations. Isn't she charming?"

He shows Stolas the picture, which had a young Stella angrily strangling a dog-like creature with tears falling from its eye.

Feeling frightened, Stolas turns away from the picture and begins crying. This caused Elodie to give a concerned look, and even Roman peaked into the room after hearing the poor prince's cries from across the hall.

"Ohhh! That's an ugly noise, son. Here, how about you cease this bitch crying?" Paimon pats Stolas on the head, only for the kid to cry harder. "Hm, that usually works".

After a couple of seconds, Elodie gets an idea on how to cheer up Stolas and tugs gently on Paimon's cloak to get his attention. He bends down to her level and she whispers to him, to which he thinks about it for a second before turning to back Stolas.

"Would you like it if I took you to the circus in town? Children enjoy the circus, right?" He pats Stolas on the head again. "Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?"

Stolas does not respond, and instead a tear rolls down his cheek and drips off.

*A Couple of Minutes Later*

Elodie enters one of the rooms to find a mirror to bring with them to the circus. As she looks around, Roman appears near the door. "Mom, what are you looking for?"

"A mirror, honey". She answers.

"Is it a handheld one?" He asked.

"Yes".

"It's on the shelf over there", he points to the corner of the room.

Elodie goes to grab it, but as she does so, she begins coughing very very roughly. This scares Roman and he rushes to her side in concern. "Mom!"

"It's okay. I'm okay. I just..... Everything is fine", she tells him calmly.

"Are you sure? I can--".

Elodie cuts him off. "Roman, you worry too much. I promise I'm okay", she reassures him.

Roman frowns sadly, not believing a word she says. Elodie has had an illness for a while now and she's had a habit of not asking for any help when it gets bad. She would often tell Roman that things were fine and although Roman has thought he should be involved and help out, his father always told him that if it was none of his business, he should just stay quiet and do nothing. He would just try his hardest not to worry about her, though his worries never seem to go away.

Elodie then notices her son's sadness and tries to take his mind off this. "Hey, how about you come with me to the circus? I'm bringing the prince there, and maybe you can help me cheer him up".

"But Mr. Paimon says I can't be in the way of anyone's work", Roman reminds her.

"You won't be in the way, you would be helping. You're the only other kid his age, and who knows? Maybe you two would even become friends". She places her hand on his shoulder.

"I still don't know, mom".

"Look, I won't force you if you don't want to go. But just give it some thought, okay?", She smiles kindly at him before walking out the room. "If you change your mind, I'll be downstairs".

Roman just stands there thinking for a while. Although he wanted to listen to the rules, it would be pretty cool to try and befriend Stolas. And his mother gave him permission, so he isn't really breaking a rule.

After all, Roman didn't have many friends and unlike most of the Goetia family, Stolas seemed pretty nice. Plus, as he saw before, the kid was clearly in need of someone to talk to and cheer him up.

So after making up his mind, Roman ran out the door to find his mother and tell her that he was coming.

*Later*

A sad Stolas, Roman, and Elodie is standing at the top of the stairs into a circus tent. Paimon is not physically present but instead is shown on the glass of a mirror that Elodie is holding up. Various imps are seen filling the bleachers.

Paimon looks around, then whispers to Elodie. "Is there a spot that's close to the front, but also far enough that I don't have to--", He sniffs and gags. "ugh-- smell the poor?"

Stolas, Roman, Elodie, and Paimon in the mirror go to sit in an otherwise empty bleacher labeled with a crude cloth sign reading "GOETIA" in dripping black paint.

Elodie then nudges Roman gently and gestures her head at Stolas. Roman nods and tries to speak to the prince. "So... uh... what's your favorite thing about the circus?"

Stolas doesn't respond, still feeling upset. Roman tries to think of more questions that may cheer him up, but before he can speak again, their attention is turned to a dark arena of the circus that has spotlights instantly light up, revealing various circus Imps as they begin performing. Two Imps in clown attire juggle, two more in the background perform spinning front flips into the foreground, and a female Imp does a handstand on a demonic horse as it gallops by the Goetia section of the bleachers. 

Paimon chuckles and claps from within the mirror, Elodie and Roman look unimpressed, and Stolas slightly looks down.

Back to the show, two clown Imps juggle while on stilts. A female Imp is seen walking and twirling on a tightrope in the background, holding a yellow umbrella as she does.

Paimon is still chuckling and clapping within the mirror, and little Stolas, very clearly not having a good time, halfheartedly flicks away a peanut that lands on his Grimoire.

"I take it that you're not enjoying this, huh?" Roman whispers to Stolas.

"I didn't even want to come here", Stolas tells him.

Roman sighs. "Neither did I. But my mom wanted to cheer you up, and she thought you'd like it here".

"I know, but..... Wait, you didn't want to come?" Stolas questions. "Then why did you?"

"Well... I saw you cry earlier and... I felt bad for you and thought... you could use a friend to cheer you up", Roman smiles at Stolas, to which the prince finally starts smiling back.

During the show, a fire-breathing imp stands on top of an inverted Imp pyramid supported by a wooden stand. Two more imps in the background leap through hoops held by two Imps in the inverted pyramid, land on their hands, then jump to their feet as the crowd cheers.

A throwing knife flies in from the left and sticks itself into a wooden board, right next to the hip of a female imp shown to be tied to it, to which the crowd cheers.

Meanwhile, Stolas and Roman are in a full conversation, giggling and enjoying themselves, until Cash Buckzo, the ringleader of the circus, begins speaking and catches the two boys' attention.

"Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit: the motherfuckin' clowns!"

A multitude of frightening Imp clowns with glowing eyes leap out at the audience from behind curtains in the background. Cash Buckzo laughs as they fly outward, and the imps in the audience scream and pull away in terror, except for a little Tourmaline, who seemed more excited than scared.

Meanwhile, on a pedestal board over the circus, a young Fizzarolli gets ready for his act. "You ready, Blitzo?"

On the other board, a young Blitzø gives a rope a quick tug. "Born ready! What about you, Jessie?"

Little Jess stands on a third board and grips it tightly. "Ready as I'll ever be! Let's go!"

Fizzarolli, Jessie, and Blitzo leap off of their boards and begin a flying trapeze act. They pass by the Goetia section of the bleachers, and time appears to slow down as both Stolas and Roman look up in awe, with Stolas blushing as his eyes lock onto Blitzo.

They continue to swing and little Tourmaline starts cheering for Fizzarolli, as she appeared to like him more than the other two. "Yay! Go Fizzarolli! You're the best!", she claps for him.

Blitzo then lands on a ball as Fizzarolli and Jessie swing away. "Tada~!" He laughs. "Heya, folks! Wanna see me make a horse?"

Blitzo takes out a green balloon, blows it up, and attempts to tie it into a horse shape. It appears as an incomprehensible knot, then immediately pops, making Blitzo's eyes widen in surprise. "Crap".

He continues pulling out balloons and attempting to make a horse but keeps getting the same result. His expression grows more worried with each popped balloon. At one point, the balloon somehow appears as a normal oval-shaped balloon. Blitzo is surprised, but the balloon pops nonetheless.

Meanwhile, the audience is dead silent and unimpressed as Blitzo keeps trying (and failing) to make a balloon horse off-screen. "De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do- Ah, hehe, Horse!" He finally makes a horse except it has no legs. No one claps for him, which makes the poor child sad, but he cheers up immediately as he gets an idea. "Well, heh, it was a horse but then it ate too much sugar and its legs stopped working so they had to amputate, now it's a gross worm horse".

Elodie, Jessie, Roman, and Stolas then begin to laugh at his joke, clearly charmed by the imp.

Blitzo points at the four. "See? They get it. Because horses, they make no sense".

Fizzarolli and Jessie then join Blitzo with balloons of their own in their hands. Fizzarolli's balloon is red, while Jessie's is blue.

"Okay, Blitzo, that's enough 'horsing' around". Fizzarolli makes a balloon horse perfectly on his first try and presents it to the crowd. "Hey everybody look at this, it's Banana Pudding the clown horsey".

Jess makes her balloon horse next, also getting it right on her first try. "And I've got Mrs. Twinkle the queen horsey who lives in the sky".

They both make neighing noises and the crowd laughs while Blitzo looks down sadly. Jessie sees this and places her hand on his shoulder, telling him that he did great for his act.

"Those two seem nice. And I liked his broken horse joke", Roman said.

"Me too, it was funny". Stolas agrees. "Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar, it's called laminitis".

"Really? That's interesting", Roman says.

"I know, right?" Stolas grins.

Paimon looks down at Stolas judgmentally as he and Roman continue watching the show and enjoying it this time. But Paimon took notice of who Stolas focused on more.

*Backstage, After the Show*

Cash Buckzo is drinking backstage as Elodie walks in, holding the mirror with Paimon in it.

"What a show, that was real great, so *ahem* that little clown you have and his friend, my son really enjoyed those ones, I was wondering if I could buy them".

"Buy them?", Cash repeated.

"Purchase them, yes, accurate". Paimon claps his hands and Elodie pushes a button on the mirror. The mirror extends out creating the effect like he's leaning over Cash. "My son doesn't have any friends, you see, and he liked the little clown boy and the girl. It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him. Can I write a check?"

"Well, Jessie is free of charge since today was the only day she would be performing, plus her mother doesn't mind her being gone for long. But Fizzarolli is a big draw. He has a few more shows to be in today, so it would be pretty expensive". He rubs his thumb and finger together in gesture.

Paimon chuckles. "No, no, the other one".

Cash looks in shock. "Blitzo?"

"Correct. How much?"

"Wha- Well, he's my son. So... uh. Hm... ah, how much ya got in your pocket?"

Elodie digs around in her pocket and produces a crumpled-up $5 bill and an unopened condom. (Which surprises her since the condom isn't hers). "A wadded-up five and a slim fit condom". she says.

"Ah, that's plenty. Done". Cash accepts the offer.

"Splendid. Fetch them for me and we will be on our way". Paimon claps his hands and portals out destroying half the tent in the process.

*Meanwhile*

Fizzarolli, Jessie, and Blitzo are playing with their balloon horses together.

"I'm Banana Pudding, and I like to dance!", Fizzarolli voices.

"I'm Mrs. Twinkle, and I rule the skies!", Jessie giggles.

"I am Worm Horse and I? I am sad!" Blitzo says.

"Why are you sad, Worm Horse?" Fizzarolli asks.

"Because I have no legs!"

"Oh, well that's okay", Jessie tells him.

"I lost all my legs in The War".

Fizzarolli and Jessie gasped. "The war?!"

"Yes! The Great Pirate War!'

"No, no pirates", Fizzarolli says more seriously.

"The great pirate warrrrrrr", Blitzo repeats.

Fizzarolli gives him an exasperated look. "If you keep talking about pirates, me and Jessie will punch you".

Blitzo ignores him and continues, acting more dramatic. "I fought bravely but I could not run fast enough! They took my legs! There was blood everywhere!"

Fizzarolli and Jessie both laugh at their friend. "Oh no, eww, no blood. Blood is disgusting".

"No, it's cool!" Blitzo disagrees with Fizz.

"Well, Banana Pudding and Mrs. Twinkle are here to save the day!" Jessie smiles.

"With their magical feet they dance around with. They will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better". Fizzarolli finishes for her.

"And then... there will be more blood!" Blitzo squirts a bottle of ketchup onto the balloon horse.

"Blitzo! that's so gross!" Fizzarolli laughs. "Stop!"

"Never!" Blitzo exclaims.

Jessie chuckles happily at the two boys, not minding the ketchup that Blitzo was waving around as it stained her outfit a little bit. "Blitzo, Fizzy, you two are the best".

She pulls them in for a group hug and while Fizzarolli hugs her back, Blitzo starts blushing a bit with a goofy grin on his face.

Suddenly, Cash appears behind them, grabbing Blitzo and pulling him up. "Boy, I've got a job for you and your friend. You are both gonna spend the day with one of the Goetia princes".

"What?" Jessie groans.

"Eww, why?" Blitzo asks.

"Because Money! Now listen carefully, you two are being bought out to be his playmate, but I want you to steal as much from those rich fuckers as you possibly can". Cash explains to the kids.

"Steal?" Blitzo questions, feeling scared. "But what if we get caught?"

"Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent? Better food? Don't you want to be able to help me and your mama out?" His father guilt-trips him.

"Of course I wanna help mama!"

Cash then turns to Jessie. "And you! If you do this and help my son, I'll split the money with you and your family. Unless you don't want to be useful and help out your poor overworked parents and brother".

"No! I do want to help them!" She says.

"Then you both gotta do this, everything those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune".

"But, if we're caught...", Blitzo looks at Jessie and back to his father. "I'm scared, dad".

Cash puts his hand on his son's shoulders. "There are scarier things, aren't there, son?"

"But..."

Cash makes sad eyes at them and the kids respond dejectedly.

"Yes, Papa".

"Yes, sir".

*Later*

Cash leads Blitzo and Jessie over to Paimon, Elodie, Roman, and Stolas in front of their house.

Blitzo raises an eyebrow as he and Jessie exchange looks, Roman tilts his head in confusion and Stolas blushes upon seeing Blitzo.

"Here are your new friends my son, happy birthday". Paimon shrugs.

"Two more friends?!" Stolas asks excitedly.

"I guess". Blitzo shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hi, uh, I'm Blitzo".

"And I'm Jessie".

"I'm Stolas". The young prince bows. "And this is my other friend, Roman. It's nice to-- Ouch!" He gets smacked in the back of the head by Paimon.

"Don't bow to them! They bow to us. Idiot!"

"Oh, right. Sorry, father". Stolas apologizes.

"I'm so good at daddy-ing!" Paimon praises himself before noticing something. "Hold on, did you just call this other imp your friend?"

"Yes", Stolas answered.

Paimon sighs. "Elodie, a word".

He walks away with Elodie behind him. But she stops when she turns around and sees Roman following her too. "Roman, sweetie, go play with the other kids. This'll only take a minute".

"But--"

"Roman, please. Just do as I say, okay?"

Roman reluctantly listens as he watches her leave. He just hopes she'll be okay.

*Inside the Mansion*

The four children were inside a library, sitting on the floor, surrounded by books. Blitzo and Jessie look bored while Roman listens attentively as Stolas excitedly info-dumps about the books around them.

"This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads, there's a lot of differences! And this is my book on plants and herbs! Did you know plants can hear you?"

Roman claps his hands together. "That's so cool!"

"Plants are boring", Blitzo stands up. "This is all boring stuff".

"Blitzo, be nice!" Jessie scolds him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I've never had a friend to share my books with". Stolas tells them.

"Well, you've got friends now. And after today, I promise you won't be lonely again". Roman pats him on the back, making Stolas grin.

"Aww, that's cute", Jessie comments while looking at the two.

Blitzo just rolls his eyes but then gets an idea. "You know what would be fun? A game. Let's Play 'Treasure Hunt'."

"What's that?" Stolas asks.

"It's where we pretend we are pirates and we go around the house collecting all the nicest things and then we throw them out the window!" Blitzo explains.

Jessie quickly understands what he was trying to do, but she also facepalms, feeling annoyed about the pirate thing. "Again with the pirates?"

Meanwhile, Stolas was just confused about the last part. "We...throw them out the window?"

"Yes".

"Since when did pirates throw things out windows?" Roman asks, also feeling confused.

"Since like, the dawn of time". Blitzo states. "Come on, pirates are always throwing stuff out windows".

"I don't think they had windows". Stolas tells him.

"What, did a book say that?"

"Yes, actually!" Roman pulls out two books titled 'Pirates' and 'The Porthole Myth'. "Several!"

Jessie then takes the books from Roman and tosses them away. "Well in this game, we're throwing them out the window, because it's fun!"

"Well, that's an odd game". Stolas gasps. "Is this an Imp game?"

"Sure, why not?" Blitzo responds.

"Then how come I've never heard of it?" Roman asks.

"I think it's because you seem like the type of kid who doesn't get out much. And even if you did, you still wouldn't have anyone to play with", Jessie says.

Roman was about to argue with her but realizes that she's technically right, so he holds back.

"Well, if it's what you guys want to play--"

Blitzo cuts Stolas off as he puts his arm around him, not noticing the prince's small blush appearing on his face. "Let's do it!"

*Montage*

The four of them run around the house, giggling while filling up a bag with expensive items.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"

Blitzo and Jessie are sprinting ahead, meanwhile Stolas runs behind them, panting a little as he struggles to catch up.

"Let's go!" Roman grabs Stolas' hand and tries to help him run faster.

The group continues going through different areas of the mansion, taking things and having fun while doing so. They even managed to clean out an entire room filled with expensive treasures and items of all sorts.

Soon they stop at a chandelier and look at it in wonder. Stolas and Roman both swipe their hands against it as Blitzo and Jessie store pieces of the chandelier into the bag.

"Yes!"

"Yay!"

"Hooray!"

"Yeah!"

They all fall to the floor and lay on their backs, giggling.

Roman then looks to his side and sees Stolas looking way happier than he was before. He's just laughing with his new friends and having a good time. Seeing him smile started giving Roman a fluttering feeling and a small blush crept onto his face as he continued staring at Stolas.

Later, the kids laugh as they run by a balcony. A whistling noise is heard and both Blitzo and Jessie run up to the edge of the balcony with their bag of treasures. Cash pops out of a bush down below and makes a 'throw to me' gesture. Jessie looks behind them to Stolas and Roman, who are bouncing on a stool trying to reach something. She gives Blitzo a thumbs up and he grunts as he throws the bag of treasure down to his father, who then ducks back into the bush.

"Blitzo, Jessie, over here!" Stolas calls them over.

The two nod at each other and run over to join him and Roman.

*Later*

The four of them are now outside by a beautiful tree. Stolas and Roman sit next to each other on the roots while Blitzo and Jessie climb it.

Blitzo almost falls out of the tree, but Jessie catches him, hanging by her tail. "I got you, buddy", she smiles at him.

He blushes a bit. "Yeah, uh... Thanks Jessie". He then turns his attention to Stolas, who is holding the Grimoire. "So, what is that? Your diary?"

"No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book! I have to learn it so I can access the living world!" Stolas tells him.

"The living world?" Jessie asks in surprise. "Like the world with humans and stuff?"

"Where the sinners come from?" Blitzo adds.

"Mmhmm". Stolas nods.

"That's cool!"

"Yes! I'm supposed to use it to study the sky!"

"Why?" Blitzo asks as he's put down gently by Jessie, who jumps off the tree herself.

"My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know. But, I'm supposed to. That's what my job will be when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family". Stolas explains.

Jessie looks at Roman next. "What about you? Are you going to be his next butler when you grow up?"

"What? No..... well... I don't know", Roman answers. "My mother works here so I could follow in her footsteps. But there's also so many possibilities out there. I don't know what I'll grow up to be, but I'll figure it out soon".

"Well, you know what I'm gonna do when I grow up?" Blitzo jumps back on the tree and climbs it again. "I'm gonna run my own circus and I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day! I'm gonna make so much money and buy myself a big building, with a big office!"

"A big office? For a circus?" Roman questions.

"Yeah! A big office!" Blitzo confirms. "Circus business with clowns and horses! and the horses will all have good names like Stapler and Biscuit Queen".

Stolas giggles. "I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business".

"Yeah! And, if you guys want to apply, I'll hire you all..... Maybe".

Jessie laughs. "You'll hire us?"

Blitzo shrugs. "Yeah, if I feel like it.

"Well, I hope we qualify". Roman smiles.

"You'd be a good boss". Stolas says.

"I think you mean, he'd be one hell of a boss". Jessie grins.

"You both say that with sarcasm, but I totes would". Blitzo says proudly.

The four kids laugh together, all of them filled with happiness.

*10 Years Later*

A much older Stolas walks through the halls of the mansion with some papers in his hand. He was meant to interview an imp that he and Stella were hiring but he didn't know who it was. He was just sent to speak to him right on the spot.

He soon passed by Octavia's room, but he stopped once he heard a door open and close behind him. He turned around to see an imp emerge slowly from another room and immediately Stolas rushed towards him, towering over the imp and speaking in a deadly serious voice. "Who are you? And what are you doing in my home?"

"I w-was just... I...", the imp turned around with a freaked-out expression.

Stolas was about ready to murder the guy, but upon getting a good look at his face, he stops himself. The imp seemed familiar and after a few seconds, Stolas finally figured it out. "Roman?"

"Y-yeah?... It's me again", Roman spoke, his voice failing to sound calmer. "It's... been a while, huh? You've... surely gotten taller". He chuckles nervously.

"Oh my Satan! I can't believe it's you!" Stolas exclaimed as his previous scary demeanor got replaced with happiness. "I haven't seen you or Elodie around since my 13th birthday. How are you? And how's your mother? Did she choose to quit and not tell me?"

Roman tensed up a bit and looked down sadly. "Oh, right... Mom... She, uh... She's... I-I can't...". He takes a deep breath and relaxes a bit. "Let's just say that..... she doesn't need to worry about her illness anymore. Extermination day kinda helped with that".

Stolas was confused but caught onto what he meant and also gained a sad expression. "Oh... oh dear... I'm sorry for your loss".

Roman looks at him, clearly hiding his pain. "It's fine. Just... gotta move on. It's what she'd want". He clears his throat and starts sounding more serious. "Anyway, to answer your question from earlier, I'm here because I was told you were going to interview me. But I kinda got nostalgic for being back here and started wandering around for a bit".

"Oh, so you're the one here for the servant job?" Stolas asks, feeling slightly surprised.

"Yes... It's been tough since I left my parents' house. I've tried other work around Hell, but they wouldn't take me. So I asked my dad for some advice and he suggested that I 'followed in my mother's footsteps'. Which is what led me to here".

"Oh, that makes sense", Stolas says. "Well now that I know why are here, I suppose I can interview you... or perhaps I can already give you the job".

Roman is surprised by this. "Wait really?"

Stolas nods. "You clearly have been through a tough time and I really want to get to know your story since you left here. Besides, I'm sure Elodie has taught you all sorts of things before she passed. And I know you know how to do some basic tasks like cooking and cleaning. If anyone would be qualified for this job, it's you".

"Wow, that's great! Thank you so much!", Roman exclaimed and hugs the man in front of him. He then realizes what he's doing and quickly back away. "Oh jeez, sorry about that! I pushed some boundaries, didn't I?"

Stolas just shakes his head with a smile. "No, it's alright. After all, we are friends, aren't we?"

Roman returns the smile. "Yeah, we sure are. That's actually what made me worried when I came here for the job. Not because of anything too serious, mind you, but because I thought maybe there would be something wrong between us, and I was worried you might have forgotten our friendship."

Stolas looks at him in surprise. "Of course not. I would never forget a person like you. I still remember every detail of our friendship, so there's no reason to worry", he said smiling.

Roman sighs, relieved that Stolas hasn't changed his opinion of him and still remembers him fondly.

The prince then clears his throat and gets back to business. "Well, anyways.... What do you think about being our more personal servant? This includes helping to watch over Octavia".

"Who?"

"She's my daughter", he tells him.

"Umm... I guess so... Yeah, I'll take it".

Stolas nods. "That settles it then! Let's set everything up right now and let Stella know too".

"Sounds like a plan", Roman agreed and the two walked back inside.

For the first time in a long while, Roman has felt extremely happy. Not because he now has a well-paying job, but because he got to reunite with his old friend.

He was glad to see that Stolas hadn't changed a lot in all these years. Of course, he wasn't exactly the same, but he's still the same boy he knew all those years ago. He swelled with joy knowing how much he missed having his friend around again.

But after hearing that he now had a daughter, Roman wondered if Stolas and Stella turned out to have a nice marriage after all. Thinking about that also left a small ounce of pain in his heart. Sure, Roman knew that he never had a chance with Stolas, and he knew that Stolas had no interest in him, either, but that still didn't help him get over how he felt.

Roman then brushed those thoughts off. Even if he wasn't quite over Stolas yet, he shouldn't let that get in the way of his job as well as put a damper on their friendship.

*15 Years Later*

Adult Stolas wakes up looking dejected. He groans and gets dressed in his robe, goes to his boudoir, and takes a bottle of pills before going to his library and opening up his grimoire.

In the window behind him, Blitzø appears and sees the magic floating out of the book. He tries to pull open the window to get inside but can't do it. Stolas then closes the book and walks away, not noticing Blitzø was there at all.

Blitzø then falls off the window and lands on the ground next to Jess, who's checking over her nails. "Are you done yet?"

Blitzø quickly gets back up. "No! There's got to be another way in!"

"Ugh! Look, just let me sneak in and grab the damn book! It'll be in and out!" Jess tells him.

"I told you, I've got this!" Blitzø tries climbing the walls again but falls back down in less than 7 seconds.

Jess scoffs. "Yeah, clearly".

Meanwhile, back inside the mansion, Stolas checks on a sleeping Octavia and then wanders into his kitchen where Roman is making coffee and Stella is loudly having a phone call.

"I know still being married isn't a big enough occasion, but to be fair, it's no picnic being married to a boring stiff like Stolas".

Stolas looks as though he wants to speak to her, but she holds up a finger at him and he instead walks away to his kitchen table. He sits down as Roman passes him a cup of coffee and the two smile at each other for a brief second.

Stolas then uses magic to open up and hold the newspaper up in front of him. It reads 'Not Divorced: Anniversary Party! Couples only'.

"Stella, what in Hell is this?" He questions his wife.

"Ugh, Stolas, you know I like throwing parties. Plus, it's true, so you know you can come if you want". She flips her hair feathers.

Stolas grimaces and takes a drink of his morning beverage.

Later, we cut to him drinking out of a goblet at a fancy party. Guests are standing and dancing while the servant imps are also around, doing their job.

Stella is with her two bird friends from the pilot and laughs loudly. "No, Stolas is terrible in bed. I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything. It's embarrassing. I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass". She loudly drinks and laughs even louder as she tosses one of her two glasses behind her, making it shatter.

Her friends laugh with her and Roman is seen near them, serving guests while giving an expression filled with disgust and anger. "What a bitch", he mumbles under his breath.

Stolas is there too, standing not too far away from the group, clearly hearing everything that's being said about him to his immense displeasure.

Stella and her entourage walk away laughing, but not soon after, she turns to look directly at Stolas. "What a pathetic fucking man!"

Stolas snarls (and makes bird sounds) before he catches a waiter's attention. "Do you have anything stronger than this?"

"We have absinthe, your highness". The waiter answers.

Stolas puts his wine glass on her tray and takes the skewers of mice. "Bring me all of it". He eats all skewers in one bite.

Roman sees his annoyance with Stella and walks over to him to try and cheer him up. "You know, her ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of her mouth".

Stolas chuckles a bit at Roman's joke. "Really?"

"What? I'm just telling the truth. Also do you think she should eat her makeup instead of wearing it? That way she can be pretty on the inside too because the outside ain't doing her any good".

Stolas laughs again at Roman's joke, seeming a bit happier. This caused Roman to blush at his smile and laugh along with him.

However, the mood was quickly killed when they began hearing Stella's voice in the background. "Poor people! Ugh, I'm so glad that they're not allowed into this thing. I don't want them anywhere near me. Can you imagine if you didn't have money?" She laughs derogatorily.

Stolas' smile fell off his face and he went back to his previous mood, which made Roman sad but still grateful that he at least was able to make him laugh, even if it was for a couple of seconds.

A different waiter then brings Stolas a tray with a tiny shot glass and a green bottle of absinthe. He pours a shot but Stolas takes the whole bottle and begins chugging it.

"Stolas, Sir?" Someone calls him.

Stolas' eyes widen as he chokes on his drink and spits it out. "I'm fine!"

Two Hellhounds stand, holding Blitzø up between them. "We caught this nasty imp trying to sneak into your chambers. What should we do with him?"

"Into my chambers, really? Oh, well, that is, concerning". He clears his throat. "Leave him to me. I will handle him accordingly". He says while blushing.

The two Hellhounds unceremoniously drop Blitzø and leave.

"Follow me, Imp". Stolas walks past Blitzø, who follows him as he glares around the room.

Roman follows as well but is stopped by Stolas, who puts his hand out in front of him. "Roman, how about you go on break. This'll only take a minute".

"But--"

"Roman, please. I promise I'll be back later. Just go enjoy yourself". Stolas tells him.

Roman reluctantly listens and walks away. As he leaves, Blitzø starts looking at the portraits along the walls. One of them was of Stolas and Stella, the two not looking very happy. Meanwhile, the next one of him and Octavia when she was younger, with him looking much happier.

Blitzø then turns his attention back to Stolas and tries to explain himself. "Look, I didn't mean to interrupt your, whatever, party. I was just trying to-"

"Don't bother with excuses, I know why you were here".

"You do?" Blitzø cringes as Stolas leads him into a dark private room.

He closes the door behind them, unaware that Jess was watching them while also managing to sneak into the mansion undetected... or so she thought.

She quietly ran over to the door but before she could enter the room herself, her wrist was grabbed by someone and she was tossed against the wall. "What do you think you're doing?!"

It was Roman.

Jess turned to him, her face mad as she stares up at him. "Let me go!"

"So you can keep spying on us? No way!"

"I wasn't spying on anything! My friend was doing that, but since you seem to be more interested in me and not him being with the prince, then you won't know why we're here". Jess tries freeing herself from him, but Roman is a lot stronger than he looks. He ignores her attempt to escape and continues pinning her against the wall.

"Let me go, Roman!" She says with frustration.

"Wait, how do you know my...?"

He continues to look at her face and begins to realize that this was Jessie, the same kid who was his and Stolas' playmate. Despite how shady everything seemed at the moment, he decides to play nice for now and figure out why she and Blitzø are there. Besides, deep down, he really didn't want to hurt her for the wrong reasons.

"Fine! But if I see any funny business from you I will kill you!" Roman threatens her. She growls but doesn't say anything back as he lets her go.

"You nearly broke my wrists, you asshole". She says while rubbing her now sore wrist.

"That's nothing compared to what I could've done. Anyway, why are you and Blitzo here, Jessie?"

Jess rolls her eyes at the question. "One, those aren't our names anymore. And two, we're here to talk to Stolas, obviously".

"And why would you want to do that?" Roman asks curiously.

"Why wouldn't we? Can't we just have a friendly reunion?"

"Not when you're sneaking around here you can't. I know you're lying to me, so just say the truth".

Jess sighs and crosses her arm, trying to find an excuse as to why they wanted to see Stolas. After some thinking, she simply responds...

*Meanwhile, with Blitzø*

"Yes, you were here to ravish me, weren't you?" Stolas poses against the closed door.

"Uhhhhhh, you?" Blitzø asks, feeling confused.

"Why else would you be breaking into my room? You could've asked to visit you know, it's been a long time, but I have a very good memory". Stolas claps his hands and candles light up.

"Oh, yeah", Blitzø sees Stolas' grimoire and he quickly thinks before getting the idea to play along with Stolas' fantasies to get closer to the book. "Well you know I figured since you're a prince and all it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in. Certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff..."

"One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons, if you are sneaking in during the cover of night". Stolas smirks.

"Well, I wanted to crash the party, and it's always more fun you know to make an entrance".

"I recall how you enjoy making an entrance!" They walk to the couch and sit down together. "So over two decades since I last saw you. Say, how's your other friend doing? What was her name again?"

"Oh, she goes by Jess now. And she's doing great, we're still together". Blitzø thinks about what he said for a second. "Well, I mean... not like that. It hasn't gone beyond anything else besides friendly banters".

"That's nice to hear. I just hope I get see her again one day as well. Also, are you two still circus clowns?"

"Oh. No, not anymore. No, me and her kill people now".

"Oh". Stolas laughs nervously and pulls away a little. "How afraid should I be?"

Blitzø looks at the Grimoire and then back to Stolas. "Well, I mean", His voice changes from flat to more seductive and he intertwines their fingers. "How afraid do you want to be?"

Stolas, who's a little flustered, meant the flirting as a joke and was surprised that Blitzo was unexpectedly taking it seriously. "Oh, um, well, I, uh, you know, I was teasing, I don't really--"

"Yeah, you seem pretty tense". Blitzø crawls towards Stolas. "How about I... help you out there?"

"Umm..." An awkward Stolas quickly leaves the couch, causing Blitzø to fall onto the floor. "You know, this is, um, getting a wee bit, is it hot? I'm starting to feel it getting very hot..." Blitzø slams him against the bookshelf, to which the grimoire wiggles and falls to the floor.

The noise is heard from near the hallway, and it catches the attention of both Jess and Roman.

"Oh shit", Jess whispers.

They both run to the door of Stolas' room but find out that they can't open the door. Feeling concerned about what's going on, Jess quickly runs to find the nearest exit so she can get to the room from the balcony. Roman follows her as well while the conversation from the inside continues.

"Oh! What are you doing? I barely remember your name". Stolas says.

Blitzø watches the grimoire fall to the floor, he utilizes the ladder to pull Stolas into a dip, clearly trying to get closer to the book. "It's Blitzø". His tail begins pulling the book closer.

"Didn't it have an "o" at the end, like a clown name? I remember - oh!"

They trip and Stolas Stumbles back, hitting his bed. The grimoire slides by it. Blitzø pins Stolas to the bed as he sighs. "Yeah well, it's silent now, 'kay? So call me... Blitzø".

Stolas squirms backwards further up the bed, still being pursued by Blitzø. "Okay, Blitzø, what are you doing to me?"

"What do you want me to do to you?"

"I, uh, well", Stolas looks behind the imp and Blitzø realizes that he will be able to see that his Grimoire is missing. So without any hesitation, he bites down on Stolas' neck as a distraction. "Oh my fuck! Oh, wow..." Stolas moans and falls back onto his bed. "You are so forward, Blitzø! Oh! What are we doing? " He sits up as Blitzo is on the other side of the bed trying to pick up the grimoire. Blitzø then jumps and pins him back down.

"N-no, stay down, dammit".

"Oh!? So you like to command, you like to be in charge, hm?"

"Yeah, I sure do", Blitzø reaches for the grimoire but is stopped when Stolas turns onto his stomach and bounces him on his ass, pulling him away from the grimoire.

Just as that's happening, Jess and Roman have successfully went to and climbed on the balcony without being seen. Unfortunately, once they reached the top and looked inside the room, they immediately wanted to climb back down.

Stolas, who doesn't notice the two imps on his balcony, starts speaking dirty to Blitzø. "Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, are you? Do you like it when I talk dirty to you? I want you to **** me with your ***** ***** imp ***** get it all the way ***** get it all the way through me, you **********!"

Blitzø turns Stolas's head around 180 and covers his mouth with his hand. "Stop it".

"Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants".

Blitzø grabs the curtain from the bed poster and rips it making strips to tie around Stolas' eyes so he cannot see. "Blitzy, oh, my, yes!!"

Blitzø ties his hands and feet to the bed as well. By then, Jess an Roman has already gotten over whatever the hell they had just witnessed and quietly entered the room to see Blitzø grab the grimoire and start to leave.

Stolas then starts speaking again. "Oh, I've never had anyone want me this way! You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion, and how much it means that the one who wants me is ... my first ever friend!"

Blitzø stops in his tracks and everyone looks at each other as well as between Stolas and the grimoire.

"Your first ever friend?" Roman mumbles sadly.

Jess ignores him and sees Blitzø's thinking about what to do now. Noticing that he might consider doing this with Stolas, she grabs him by his shoulders. "Blitzø, don't do this. It's going to come back to bite you in the ass later. You already have the book, so let's hit the road", she whispers to him.

"That's what you two were really here for, huh?" Roman asks them. "I knew you guys were being shady, this is just messed up".

"Wait", Jess puts her hands on Roman's shoulder. "Look, we just have something bigger than this to worry about right now. And if we're still friends... then you'll let this go".

Roman frowns. "I can't do that. I'll lose my job and get into even worse trouble. I'm sorry guys, but I'm not covering for you".

"Roman, please...", Jess begs.

Blitzø turns his attention to her. "Just head back to the office. I'll be there soon".

"What?!" Jess quietly yelled, still making sure Stolas didn't hear them. "You can't be serious?"

"Look, I don't like this either. But what choice do I have?"

Jess just shakes her head in disbelief. "Any other choice would be better than this..... But whatever, do what you think is necessary. Just don't say I didn't warn you". She forces herself to just accept that this was going to happen.

She heads to the balcony to leave and Roman quietly heads to the door of the bedroom. He doesn't leave yet however, an instead turns to Blitzø and gives him a scary glare. "If anything happens to him and you're involved, I will rip your throat out and wear it as fucking necktie".

Blitzø just looks at him, unfazed by his threat. "I won't do anything to him... well, non sexual at least". 

"...Good", Roman says. "...I'm done talking anyway". He leaves the room.

Blitzø then turns to Stolas, who is still tied to the bed and takes a breath. "Alright, fine. I can do this real fast".

*The Morning After "Real Fast"*

A loud thud can be heard from outside, which startles Stolas as he wakes up in bed. He walks over to the balcony and we see the scene from the Pilot, but from Stolas' POV.

"Sorry, I fucked your husband!" Blitzø scrambles off the table and leaves.

Stella then starts yelling up at Stolas. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, STOLAS?!!"

Stolas yells back down from the balcony "THAT was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE!!" He tears a celebratory "Not Divorced!" banner to just say "Divorced" and laughs triumphantly.

*Now*

Stolas blinks awake, groaning as he wakes up in bed. He's still wearing his outfit from Ozzie's, though now Stolas' mascara is running down his cheeks. He goes to his boudoir and takes his pills which are labeled "Stolas' Happy Pills".

He goes back to his bedroom and turns on his phone, scrolling through his photos, which is a series of pictures of Blitzø or him doing things related to Blitzø. Stolas then turns his attention to Roman, who sleeps on his bed, also wearing his Ozzie's outfit.

The prince gives a tiny small at the fact that despite all that has happened, Roman was the last person who he could depend on. The last one who stood by him... but was he also the last one who cared about him? Did he care at all? Or is he just doing his job?

With everything going on, Stolas couldn't tell if the love for him was even there from anyone anymore. He couldn't tell if Roman still liked him or if he lost that care a long time ago and now only feels pity for the poor prince.

Feeling a strong amount of depression and sadness hitting him, Stolas begins singing softly.

Stolas: ♫ Owl in a cage ♫
♫ You show your age ♫
♫ Your sweetness has run foul ♫

♫ Without a change, you're lost, exhausted ♫
♫ By your time on stage ♫

Roman slowly opens his eyes and listens to Stolas as he sings. Though he makes sure not to let him notice that he's waking up,

♫ Then you walked in my room ♫
♫ And like sparks in the dark ♫
♫ Life was suddenly thrilling and new ♫

He swipes his cape, a diamond landing in his hand before he lets it fly into the sky and explode into sparks of stars.

♫ What's between you and I ♫
♫ Just a comfortable lie ♫
♫ I'm the fool who believes when you look in my eyes ♫

A silhouette of Blitzø appears him back of him, only to fade completely as Stolas' mind comes back to reality. He then grabs a book from his bookshelf and flips through the pages until he finds one that talks about "Asmodean Crystals".

♫ Prince, all alone, upon your throne ♫
♫ Your power is so frail ♫

He tosses the book on his bed next to Roman, (who's still pretending to be asleep), and opens the doors to his balcony before walking outside.

♫ You raise your voice ♫
♫ You have no choice ♫
♫ Inside your gilded jail ♫

The noise of footsteps are heard as Stella walks up behind Stolas. "The fuck are you doing?"

"Reflecting". He answers.

"Well, stop! It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time. And please tell me why is Roman sleeping when he should be cleaning up this house?!".

Stolas turns around to face her. "Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends, but then you stay around the house despite everything".

Roman sneaks over and hides near the balcony's door, listening to their conversation.

Stella smirks as she steps toward her husband, "I like tormenting you. I want to keep reminding you of what you did".

"I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life..... I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now!" Stolas gestures for Stella to leave.

"What do you mean, out?" Stella asks him.

Stolas clarifies for her. "I mean out! Out of this palace, out of my life! We are getting The Divorce!"

"How dare you?!?" Stella steps forwards as Stolas steps backwards, looking slightly frightened of her. "What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think?" Her hand moves towards Stolas to backhand his face.

Before her hand could hit him, it's suddenly stopped by something. She can't move her hand because she was caught in the grasp of an invisible force preventing her from hurting Stolas.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"

Once Stella finally got her hand free, she and Stolas turned around to find Roman using a different spell book, (not the grimoire), against Stella.

"And what the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Stella shouts at him.

"Something I've should've done a long time ago! I'm tired of standing on the side and doing nothing while the people I love suffer! But that changes now! I can't stand to listen to your bullshit, anymore! I don't know where these stupid habits come from, but I'm sick of it! Stolas deserves better than a pompous bitch like you! Sure, he's not the perfect prince you people want him to be, but guess what? He's doesn't need to be because he's already a great man. And you know what else? He's no longer going to be tormented by you!"

At the end of his rant, Roman looks over to Stolas, who was watching the interaction in complete shock. He never knew that Roman had such a temper, but here it was. And all it took was Stella about to hit him to have the imp let all that anger out. It was... sweet.

Meanwhile, Stella just looks like she's about to eliminate this imp's entire life. "Roman, I'm only going to say this once. Back the hell off, or I will blow you to fucking pieces!"

"Do your worst!" He barks back.

"Don't forget that Andrealphus--"

"None of us care what your arrogant brother thinks!!" Stolas cuts her off, sounding as angry as Roman. "And the only thing the Goetia family wanted from our marriage is already 17, so it's over! I'm DONE!"

Stella stares intensely at both of them before stepping away from Stolas. "Fine. I have no desire to stay in the place of a traitorous embarrassment. You have fallen from what little grace you had, and I know you'll pay for it".

She begins to walk away, but as she does so she snatches the spell book from Roman and hits him with it so hard that he fell to the floor. "You should've known what you've unleashed when you decided to get in my business. I'll teach you not to disrespect me, you pitiful lowlife imp".

She drops the book and finally leaves. Stolas then quickly rushes to Roman's side and helps him up. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. You forgot, I won the Harvest Moon Pain Games 25 years in a row", Roman gives a soft smile.

"You shouldn't have angered her. I didn't want you being caught in the middle of this", Stolas says.

"Well, I couldn't just watch you get hurt again. It drives me insane when I see her act like this towards you. Besides, like you said, you consider me family, and families look out for each other".

Stolas finally returns a smile before asking him something. "Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"Everything you said to her".

Roman laughs a bit. "Of course I did. I've cared for you for long time. And I need you to know, this isn't because I'm your servant. I've really cared about you before I even started working here. I'll always be here for you.... After all, I've promised that ever since we were kids".

After a brief silence that passes through the air, Stolas pulls Roman closer and embraces him tightly, slightly tearing up. "Thank you Roman. Thank you for being here for me".

Roman returns the hug for a few moments before breaking away. "No problem".

The two stare at each other and share a similar look, which included the both of them giving warm smiles and blushing softly. They then look over the balcony and at the night sky where, despite being in Hell, still had a nice and comforting view.

Despite all the drama that Stolas had to go through with Blitzø and Stella, he was finally feeling at peace with Roman by his side. He decided to take one more look at the imp and as soon as he did, he gently pulled him in for another hug...

... which caused the prince's heart to feel more content, and even beat faster.

Chapter Text

*Several Years Ago*

The scene opens with a shot of a galaxy, with Stolas narrating over it.

"In the great expanse of the nether, there exists boundless amounts of magnificent phenomena. The great brilliance of an exploding star, the nimble dance of space dust through a nebula. But once every one thousand years, our corner of reality is treated to an incredible sight; from the deep eldritch recesses of the cosmos, the tears of a forgotten colossus begin to fall. Tears made of the hopes and dreams of every living thing that never came to be. Condensed and sent shooting across the night sky in a dazzling final display. What appears to mortal beings as a meteor shower, we can see for what it is: Azathoth's Tears". 

Young Octavia giggles as Stolas finishes his story. Roman is sitting next to them and closes the grimoire while smiling.

"Daddy, can we go see it someday?", Young Octavia asks.

"Yes, dear". Stolas begins tucking her into bed. "I promise, when the day comes nothing will be able to keep me from being there with you".

"Can Roman come too?" She asks.

Stolas looks at Roman, who seems a bit surprised about the question. They then turn back to Octavia and Roman gives his answer. "Sure, sweetie. I'd be happy to come".

"Good night, my Owlette". Stolas says before leaving the room with Roman.

"Good night!" Octavia calls out.

"Sweet dreams", Roman waves as he closes the door.

Feeling excited, Young Octavia turns and wiggles while giggling in her bed.

*Several Years Later*

Present-day Octavia, who's still looking happy, hops out of bed and circles a drawing on a calendar of her, Stolas, and Roman's faces, along with a meteor shower.

She heads down a hallway while putting on her boot and goes to the kitchen. "Hey, dad!" She notices Stolas isn't there and decides to look around the manor for him and Roman. "Dad? Roman?"

She then sees the front door open and hears Stolas' voice coming from outside.

"Yes, I know!"

Stolas and Roman both are out front. Stolas is on the phone with Stella while squeezing a servant in his other hand. Meanwhile Roman has the other imp servants loading items into a van.

"It will be there, shortly. Of course, they're being careful!" Stolas exclaims into the phone.

"Dad, Roman, what's going on?" Octavia asks as she steps outside.

"Apparently, your mother can't exist somewhere for two minutes without the entirety of her possessions--", Stolas gets cut off by Stella yelling something incomprehensibly through the phone. "What? No! I'm not turning her against you-- Yes, Stella!" He squeezes the imp harder out of frustration.

He and Stella continue to yell at each other through the phone while Octavia gives a worried look. She sees Roman rubbing his forehead out of annoyance and taps on his shoulder.

"Roman, you and dad are going to be done before tonight, right?" Octavia asks him, hoping he and Stolas didn't forget.

"Huh? Oh. I hardly think so. Knowing your mother, this will take all weekend". He tells her calmly before hearing Stolas speak to the imps.

"Don't be gentle about it, now! Break whatever you have to to get it all in there!"

"What?! What did you just tell them to do?!" Stella shouts.

"You heard him! Or are you deaf?!" Roman yells as he goes back to manage the items.

Octavia holds her arm before speaking again. "But, tonight we were supposed to-"

Stolas sighs and moves the phone away from him. "Darling, can we not talk about this now? Your mother's being a real B-I-T-C-H".

More incomprehensible yelling is heard from Stella's end.

"Well, how was I supposed to know you can spell?! I've never seen you read!" Stolas walks away with the phone as Octavia heads back inside.

"I don't care if it's damaged! She's rich! Just tell her to buy another one!" Roman tells the servants before walking back to where Octavia used to be. "I'm back, honey. Now, what was it you wanted to..."

He notices she's not there anymore and begins looking around in confusion. "Octavia?"

Meanwhile, out of frustration, Octavia slams the door to her room and yells as she rips up the calendar page. She angrily topples her telescope over, grabs a bag with her things, and leaves the mansion.

If Stolas and Roman really forgot about the stars, then she was going to take matters into her own hands.

*At I.M.P.'s Office*

A circled date on the 20th with the words "Have The Talk" is on a calendar while there's a sound of crashing in the background.

Knives fly across the room and Blitzø is seen looking nervous. "Loona, honey, wait just a-- shit!" He runs backwards as Loona charges after him, looking pissed. "Loonie, please, can we talk-- FUCK!". The office's water dispenser is thrown his way and hits him in the face. "Uh, I mean, wow! Good throw, honey! I-I'm so proud of youuuuu!"

Loona pounces and tackles him before grabbing a picture off the wall and beating Blitzø with it. Millie walks past them to the couch where Moxxie is sitting. She joins him on it and they drink coffee together from their matching mugs.

"What's this all about, honey?" She asks.

Moxxie sips his drink before answering. "Ah, oh! Blitzø finally talked to her about her attitude with clients".

Blitzø grabs the couch they're sitting on and pulls it forwards, jumping and hiding behind it. "I-I just think some small tweaks might help you be more of a... uh, people person, you know?"

Loona growls as she slowly approaches him. "I am a people person!" She reaches forward, grabs Blitzø by the collar and pulls him close. "If I'm so terrible, how about you just grow a pair and replace me?"

"Okay, well, maybe I- Maybe I might". Blitzø says.

"What?"

Blitzø looks back at Moxxie who gives him a thumbs up and turns back to Loona. "Maybe I will, little missy! Yeah, that's right it's tough love time! So, now you can... go... to your desk!"

Loona growls and drops him before heading back to her desk.

Jess then comes through the front door and sees Loona looking very upset. She walks over to Moxxie for some answers. "Care to explain why my murderous hellhound is angry? I swear, if it was because you guys were complaining about her attitude again..."

"Actually Blitzø is doing something about it this time". Moxxie responds.

"You told him to use tough love, didn't you?" Jess asked. "Mox, I know Loona is a bit rough around the edges, but don't hold it against her. It's just how she is, and I wouldn't change her for anything".

Moxxie disagrees. "But it's not good for the company. It's--".

Jess gets in his face, sounding a bit frustrated. "Do you and Millie have a kid? No! So keep your childcare opinions to yourself, you gremlin!"

Moxxie looks at her, startled yet confused. "Are you... feeling alright? You usually don't get angry this quickly".

Jess notices what he means and sighs. Before she could answer, Blitzø stands up to greet her. "Jess! Hey! H-how are you doing? You haven't called since--".

Upon seeing him, Jess covered her face with her hand and speed walked away, leaving behind some awkward silence.

"...Is she okay?" Millie asked.

"Maybe she's just having a bad day?" Moxxie guesses.

"...Yeah... Bad day...", Blitzø mumbles. He knows full well why she's acting like this, and boy were things going to feel hella awkward now.

Meanwhile, Octavia quietly opens the door and wraps her hair around her neck like a scarf disguise. No one notices her entering.

Moxxie then starts speaking about the 'Loona situation' again. "Sir, if I may say so; you're doing the right thing. If we can't even hire a cheerful qualified receptionist, how can people trust us to massacre and mutilate their enemies for them? It's good for business".

Octavia soon makes it into Blitzø's office. She rummages around in his desk and doesn't find what she's looking for. She looks behind her to see a poster of the I.M.P. group altogether and moves it aside to reveal a wall safe covered in spider webs and labeled "Blitzø's stuf Do Nut Steel!!" with a drawing of two horses.

She enters a code of 1-2-3-4 and the safe opens. She grabs Stolas' grimoire out of the safe and flips through the pages until she finds what she was looking for. "...Take me to see the stars".

A pentagram swirls around her and black swirls of power stream toward the ceiling.

The light show catches Moxxie's attention. "Um, sir?"

"The fuck?"

I.M.P. squeezes through the door with all of them drawing their weapons, just in time to see Octavia disappearing through the portal.

Blitzø raises his voice angrily. "Loona!"

Loona responds nonchalantly. "Oh, yeah. You have a visitor".

*With Octavia*

"Where am I?" Octavia slowly blinks her eyes open to see a blank Hollywood star before a hobo offscreen vomits onto it, causing her to slide backwards and yelp.

The dead body of Brennon Ragers with an eyeball coming out of his head lies underneath Octavia, who accidentally crushed him after falling from the portal. Octavia looks up and the portal closes.

She then runs off with the grimoire and bumps into a clown, who yells angrily at her before pushing her away. "Hey, this is my territory, bitch! Take your shitty costume and get the fuck off my corner!"

Octavia grabs her things and runs across a crosswalk while cars swerve and almost hit her. She runs into a protest mob. They're holding signs that say, "demons walk among us", "God hates you personally", and "<-- To Hell".

She avoids them and almost runs into a gleaming golden statue of a man smiling with his hand out. Octavia falls to the ground as two ladies see her and look shocked. Octavia looks frightened as she grabs the grimoire and scrambles into an alleyway. She sits with her knees to her chest breathing heavily like having a panic attack.

*Back at I.M.P.*

Blitzø is also panicking at the situation. "Shit, shit, shit, shit!" He grabs Moxxie in worry. "What the fuck am I supposed to tell Stolas?!"

"Well, he seems to like you, sir. Maybe he would understand if--", Moxxie gets shoved away.

"Okay, my dick is good, but it is not that good, Moxxie". Blitzø tells him.

Jess rolls her eyes and speaks in a serious tone. "Blitzø, not everything can be solved with sex. And unfortunately, I don't think we really have a choice".

"So, what? You just want me to call him up and be like, "Hey, Stolas--"

*Moments Later*

"--so, your daughter came by, took your book, and teleported off to 'Who the fuck knows where', and we have no way of getting either of them back, okay?! Okay! Good talk, byeee!"

Blitzø looks progressively more worried as he speaks and quickly puts the phone down when he's done, backing away slightly. He then looks relieved when nothing happens. "Oh, that actually went better than I thought".

Suddenly, the door blows up and Stolas stands inside in his full demon form, with Roman next to him, both giving off the scariest and most enraged expressions they've possibly ever made.

"BLITZØ!!!"

"You were saying?", Jess elbowed Blitzø hard.

*Meanwhile*

Feeling lost, Octavia tries to talk to people on the street, who are ignoring her. "Hey, do y- Can you help - h-how do I get ah - I - excuse me, I just need to know where I can... see the stars". She groans and rubs at her eye, pulling her beanie over her face.

A pamphlet flies into Octavia's face as it says "bus tours" on the back and on the inside center panel "Star Struck Tourz" and in the bottom left-hand corner "Stalk your fave celeb!"

Octavia crumples the flyer close in a hug. "Yes!" She expands it back out and runs to get a seat on the Starstruck Tourz bus.

*At I.M.P.*

Stolas paces in front of Moxxie, Millie, Jess, and Blitzø.

"How could this happen?! Do you just let anyone waltz into your office and grab infinitely powerful artifacts?!" Stolas then clutches at his hat worriedly. "Why would she do this? How are we supposed to find her? Where would she go?"

"Hey, hey. Try to relax", Roman holds his hands reassuringly. "I'm just as worried as you are, but I promise, we're going to find her. Okay?"

Stolas nods, takes a deep breath, and decides to listen to Roman. Their moment caused Blitzø to look at Jess, who quickly turned away from him again.

Loona then sniffed the air to catch a scent. "Well, it reeks of urine and desperation so...", she sniffs again. "Ugh... L.A".

Everyone goes from worried to turning and looking at Loona surprised.

"What?"

Loona is then shoved through a portal that the rest of I.M.P., Roman, and Stolas walk through.

"Alright, Loona, let's make this quick. In and out before anyone notices us here". Sounds of gunfire and screaming are heard as Blitzø looks around the alleyway that they've portaled into. "Oh. This doesn't look much different from Hell. Alright, now let's get to work. Loonie, sniff!"

"How am I supposed to smell anything in this city?" Loona picks out a piece of trash from her hair.

"Can't you even do one thing right?" Moxxie complains.

"Can't you finally do something about how fat you are?" Loona counters.

"I'm not--"

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to put a salad in your body every now and then". Blitzø agrees.

Moxxie looks at them confused. "What? But, I'm not fat!"

Jess then puts a hand on his shoulder. "Mox, you're more like a twig if anything". She says before whispering to him creepily. "But seriously, talk to Loona like that again, and I swear I will skin you alive and sell your horns on the dark web".

Moxxie backs away in fear and trips on his own feet as Jess gives him a warning look.

Blitzø then jumps up on a dumpster and tapes a picture to the open lid. It has drawings of I.M.P. with Loona in her human disguise, plus Stolas in a fake mustache. "Now, first things first, we're gonna do this the old-fashioned way, we're gonna need disguises".

Loona and Stolas get a dual Sailor Moon-esque transformation sequence into human disguises.

Moxxie and Jess look unimpressed while Millie claps. Meanwhile, Roman blushes at Stolas' new look. "Whoa... Uh, you both look amazing... heh". He nervously says.

"Oh. Thanks. You really think so?" Stolas smiles.

"No chance you can conjure us a couple of those, can ya?" Blitzø asks.

"Sadly, no. I'm afraid without my grimoire, my powers are just a tad limited in the human world". Stolas tells him.

"What, you can't memorize your fucking spells?" Blitzø complains.

Stolas then looks at him, annoyed. "Oh, your memory's so great? What's his phone number?" He gestures to Moxxie.

"Fuck you". Blitzø says defeatedly.

"Exactly". Roman says smugly as he and the others follow Stolas.

"You've always had a shitty memory though", Jess comments to Blitzø before leaving.

They walk out of the alleyway and Stolas grabs a pair of red-tinted sunglasses which he puts on his head where his second pair of eyes would be in his normal form.

Moxxie runs face-first into a random human who pulled a CD out of his jacket. "Hey, little man. How about you check out this demo right here? This is some premium Grade-A fire right here! Perfect for you to crank with the little lady". He grabs Millie and pulls her close, much to her obvious displeasure.

"Oh, wow! You made this? Thank you". Moxxie says. He and Millie walk away as the dude follows and stops them.

"Oh, hey, hey, hey. Hold up a sec, you just gonna grab it and go?"

"He said, 'thank you," Millie tells him, annoyed.

The dude puts a hand in her face. "20 bucks, man".

Moxxie grabs Millie's face, desperately. "Millie! We need money to pay this talented artist!"

Millie watches as the rest of their group walks past the corner without them. "You can just give it back, Mox".

Moxxie gasps and grabs the sides of his face. He jumps behind a tree, crouching and holding the CD close. "Millie! These artists put their heart and soul into their work! I can't just give it back like it's worthless!" He hisses and swipes at a squirrel that was sniffing at him while holding the CD close.

"It probably is". Millie suggests.

Just then a woman walks past and flips a coin to Moxxie. "Sick demon costume, man! It's metal as fuck!"

Moxxie stares at the coin he's received and turns to Millie. "I have an ide- Oh, woah!" Moxxie stands up and flips the coin before accidentally dropping it. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, come back here!" He chases after it, collects it, and flips it again, catching it correctly this time. "I have an idea!"

*Back to Octavia*

The bus stops and she groans, realizing the tour wasn't what she expected.

"And to your left, you'll see the home of one of those influencers who thinks they're hot shit cause now they do TV shows". The Tour Guide announces.

A woman and her kid hop into a limo while a man lies prostrated on the ground, crying and begging. The limo drives away and he stands up and begins kissing the man standing nearby wearing a bathrobe.

Octavia groans and turns away pulling her beanie down over her eyes.

*Meanwhile*

A store labeled "Little costume shop of horrors" door opens and Blitzø walks through, dressed in a pink shirt, blue jeans, and a wig. His horns have been covered with frankly gigantic ears.

Stolas looks up at him as Blitzø gestures to himself. "So?"

Roman walks out next, wearing a black suit and a blonde wig. "Are the giant ears really necessary?" He asks Blitzø. "You look very idiotic".

"It's to cover my horns, dick-for-brains!", Blitzø barks back at him.

"Boys! There's no need to fight. The both of you look amazing", Stolas tells them.

Roman smiles at him while Blitzø looks around for Jess. "Where the fuck is--".

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"

Blitzø, Roman, Stolas, and Loona all look to see Jess come out of the store, wearing a red and black dress that showed off her curves, along with her hair in a small but cute ponytail. She even had some light makeup on that enhanced her natural look.

Loona snapped a picture while giving Jess a thumbs up, "You look pretty good".

Roman and Stolas nod in agreement and give her impressed and supportive expressions. Meanwhile Blitzø...

...He just kept staring at her attractive appearance, which not only made him blush very hard, but it also made another part of him very hard~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(A/N: You know if you know 😏... and god forgive me, I cringed a bit while writing that)

"Uh, Blitzø?" Roman tapped his shoulder, but he couldn't get his attention.

Jess then snapped her fingers in his face, which actually took him out of his trance. "Now you wanna pay attention to me? My eyes are up here, asshat".

"Whoa! Aggressive much?", Roman says.

Jess looks at him and sighs. "I don't wanna talk about it...", she walks away from the two, and Roman gives Blitzø an expression that asks 'what's going on?'

Just then, the group's attention was turned away when they heard a woman screams excitedly. "Look, everyone! It's Hollywood star, Brennon Ragers! *gasp* And is that Nile Patryck Harrison?!"

"The fuck is a Brendon Ragers and a Nile-- Oh". Blitzø looks up and sees a billboard for 'Sweetie! I'm In the House!! Guest Starring Brennon Ragers and Nile Patryck Harrison'. One of the men being the one Octavia accidentally killed earlier.

Stolas looked up at the billboard, eyes wide. "Oh, dear".

A crowd immediately mobs Blitzø and Roman, taking pictures and begging for things while the two imps try to escape.

"Millie, where are you and your whore bag husband?!" Blitzø shouts.

*Elsewhere*

Millie and Moxxie were singing, as a couple and other passersby stood together witnessing the demon couple's performance, as the Music Dude who gave Moxxie the $20 CD looked miffed.

Moxxie and Millie: ♫You're my lovely little monster, and I'll never say goodbye♫
♫I will kill for you, until the day we die♫

The crowd cheers throwing roses and money their way while Moxxie bows. He points to the money earned in front of Millie, looking excited while she looks less than impressed.

He gives the money to the Music Dude. "And, here you are, my fellow Troubadour".

The music dude snatches the money and pushes Moxxie away. "Whatever, man. Get the fuck outta here, you're cramping my business".

"Come on, babe! We have to catch up to Blitzø and Jess before--", Millie turns and runs face-first into a painting.

"Ayyy, wanna buy some art?" A guy selling the art asks.

Moxxie excitedly holds up a flyer. "Wha? YES!"

Millie facepalms at Moxxie's response.

*Back with the Others*

The crowd continues to surround the boys. Jess then starts pushing and even punching some of the fans to get to them.

"I'm taking this out of their pay!" Blitzø yells.

"Watch the suit! I just bought it!" Roman exclaims to the crowd.

Suddenly, a truck is seen with agents jumping out to break the commotion. A man comes to blow his whistle with a diploma in his hands, and both Blitzø and Roman are finally let go by the fans.

A producer approaches them, holding a bag of fruit snacks. "Mr. Ragers and Mr. Harrison, we've been looking for you two everywhere. You were supposed to be on set an hour ago!"

"The fuck are you talking about?", Blitzø asks as some guards grab him and Roman.

"Your guest spots on 'Sweetie! I'm in the House!!'." The producer explains.

An ad pops up, resembling the same design as the billboard, and briefly disappears.

(A/N: Quick note, I actually thought the ad was real and almost clicked on the X. Lol)

"We're taping tonight. Now, hurry up and get in the car!"

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! We're not going anywhere with you, jizz-biscuit!" Blitzø flips him off.

"Yeah, sorry sir, but you got the wrong guys. I'm not-- We're not--".

The producer stops him before the continues. "Very funny, you two. Now, get in the car". He tries to lure them with a fruit snack as if they were animals. "Come on, boys, come on".

"Get your fucking hands off me!" Blitzø breaks free from the guards briefly before he is caught again.

"Jess! Loona! Stolas! A little help, here?!" Roman calls out while he and Blitzø get dragged away.

Blitzø's fake ears fall out, to which a man that drops his baby catches them. This leads the crowd to have an altercation, fighting over the ears.

Stolas tries to get through and negotiate with the producer. "E-excuse me, sir. This woman and I are... Mr. Ragers and Mr. Harrison's agents".

Jess sees what he's doing and tries to play along. "Uh, right! And we don't believe you can just--"

Another guard comes up behind them and grabs them too. Jess tries to kick him away but fails. And Stolas just gushes over the guard's strength. "Oh! You are strong!"

The four of them are thrown in the back of the car. Blitzø and Jess growl their way back out, but the doors close before they can escape, causing Blitzø to land right on top of Jess.

They rubbed their heads before realizing what position they were in. Both blushed at each other but while Blitzø gave an awkward smile, Jess just roughly pushed him away and backed up.

"Not! A! Word!", she growls through her teeth. Blitzø gives her a conflicted and somewhat upsetting look.

"Blitzø, Jess, we don't have time for this. Via could be anywhere. She could be in danger". Stolas speaks up in a worried tone, reminding everyone of the task at hand.

Roman's mood quickly changed once he heard this. And though he didn't show it, he was beginning to freak out a little bit; his fear for Octavia's safety rising.

Blitzø noticed this and tried to think of an idea. "Don't worry, I'm on it". He breaks the windows with his horns and spots Loona punching the people in the crowd. "Loonie, go find Via! We'll catch up soon!"

Loona flips him off but Blitzø takes it proudly. "Yeah! Way to be a team player, sweetie!" He turns to the others and reassures them. "She's in great hands".

*Meanwhile with Octavia*

An annoyed Octavia walks out of the tour bus, ripping the pamphlet in half. She proceeds to walk away, not noticing/caring about the crime scene she went through as she steps on a corpse. She then stops when she comes across a sign titled, "Star Owl: Souvenir Shop."

She takes pictures of the sign and walks away but slowly stops when she takes a look at what's inside the shop itself, zooming into a box that says "Starstruck" on it.

*Back to the Others*

Outside of a building entitled "Starstruck Studios", one Agent has Stolas and Jess slung over his shoulders while other agents are seen carrying Roman and Blitzo, doing everything in their power to try and escape, but to no avail. With the paparazzi around them, they're then thrown to a chair in a makeup room.

"Let's get them ready! They're both on in five!" The producer orders.

"What? 'Five' what? I-I can't be on a sitcom!" Blitzø tells him.

"Wait! We're doing a sitcom?" Roman says. "I actually like those".

Blitzø glares at him before being smacked in the face with a powder pad. The smoke transitions to backstage, with Stolas and Jess beside the two, holding water bottles.

"Should've had an ego crisis before signing the contract". The prouder crossed his arms.

"I-I-I... Whoa-, neither of us even knows the fucking lines, idiot!" Blitzø says.

"Well, that's why God invented teleprompters!", the producer gestures to a guy on a teleprompter that says "GOD KILL ME PLS", before breaking down and electrocuting the guy on top of it.

"Wait, what about rehearsing?" Jess asks.

Stolas agrees with her. "Right. Shouldn't they rehearse, or something?"

"No can do, we're live in 10, 9--" As the producer walks out the stage, Blitzø begins to hyperventilate.

"Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! I-I... I can't do this. No, not again. I-I haven't performed since--".

"Blitzø, deep breath. Calm down", Roman says, but Blitzø won't listen to him. He then turns to Jess. "Hey Jess, a little help here. You're his friend. Can you get him to relax?"

"Wha- no!" Jess tells him.

"Why?"

"It's that.... I just....", Jess struggles to speak.

Roman sighs. "Look, I've taken notice that there's something going on between you two, and I doubt it's any good. But whatever it is, can you please put it to the side for now? We need to get through with this and find Octavia, but we can't do it unless we're all pitching in. So just please come and help him".

Jess wanted to turn away again, but after seeing Blitzø freak out about going on stage, she knew she had to stop being upset for now. She was just distraught ever since Ozzie's and things just felt awkward for her to interact with Blitzø, so she resorted to just being angry.

And though she wasn't ready to confront him about the issue, she decided that she was going to listen to Roman and push it aside for now. After all, this was for Octavia.

Jess walked up to Blitzø and patted his back comfortingly. "Blitzø, listen. I know you haven't been on stage for a while, but trust me, you'll do great. I always thought you were amazing when you acted. Besides, you have experience with the circus and I'm pretty sure you and Stolas roleplay during sex. So you can handle a crappy sitcom made to dumb down the intelligence of human adults and teens".

She gives him a heartwarming smile, which finally gets him to take a deep breath and calm down.

"She's right you know, Blitzø". Stolas says as approaches them. He then looks at Roman and speaks to him next. "And Roman, if your performance on stage is half as good as Blitzø's in bed, you'll leave them breathless~".

Stolas strokes Roman's face as he stiffens up nervously and gulps at the sound of his seductive voice. "Now, hurry up and wow them, so we can get back to finding Via".

Stolas and Jess push the boys onto the set where the lights have yet to be turned on.

"Break a leg, darling!" Stolas tells Roman.

"But not literally, Blitzø!" Jess says.

They quickly close the door, and the lights go on faster than Blitzø or Roman can respond. They then look towards the studio audience.

"Action!"

On stage, an actor on the couch starts speaking to the two, "Well, if it isn't our neighbors, Ronnie and Benny. You guys feel that earthquake earlier?"

Blitzø looks towards the stage crew, looking very distressed. Roman, on the other hand, tried to look calmer as he read his lines on the teleprompter out loud.

"You felt it too? I thought it was just my headache again. Ronnie, does this have something to do with you?" He acted out, and honestly, it was pretty good.

Jess whispers to Stolas from the sidelines. "I didn't know Roman could act".

"He told me he use to have theater classes in high school. Said something about you and Blitzø inspiring him". Stolas informed her.

Back on the set, Blitzø was practically muted due to him feeling extremely nervous. The teleprompter appears with his lines next, but he still doesn't speak.

Roman nudges his arm while whispering. "Say something... It's like Jess and Stolas said, you got this".

Blitzø sweated profusely and finally tried to play along and act. "Oh, yea? Yeah. That was just my wife rolling out of bed."

Stolas and Jess look nervously at the audience, unresponsive at first, but laughing instantly. Blitzø then smiles at their reaction, not noticing the screens above the stage, indicating people to laugh with a bit of static.

"Yeah, yeah!" He starts gaining confidence and improvising his next lines, this time more enthusiastically. "Yeah, and then that bitch hit her head on the way down and shattered her skull!"

The screens do not change, as they still say "Laugh", but no one is laughing, except for Stolas, Jess, and even Roman, who all find this humorous.

"There's blood everywhere... pee in her pants..."

Stolas and Jess continue to laugh while the audience looks up at the screens, which say, "Srsly, laugh anyway", so the audience proceeds to laugh to this as well.

Roman pats Blitzø on the back with a smile. "You're doing great".

Seeing Blitzø happy lightened Jess' mood a little bit, and both she and Stolas stopped laughing, looking at the boys with proud grins on their faces.

Roman and Blitzø see this and wink at Stolas and Jess. The two of them blush immensely at their respective partners and chug a bottle of water.

*Elsewhere, with Loona*

Loona was sipping coffee and opening up her phone to "Sinstagram". As she walks around the city a song playing on her phone, she stops when she spots the Star Owl: Souvenir Shop sign on the wall. She admires this and takes a selfie with it to post on her Sinstagram.

After posting the photo and scrolling down her feed, she notices a post from Octavia at the same location. Taken aback by this, she spits out her coffee, and then looks at Octavia's profile, with some of her recent posts being pictures she took throughout the city.

One post shows a castle she was nearby, with the caption reading "Found a cool looking castle, reminds me of home..." which was shown to have been posted two minutes ago when Loona first saw it.

As Loona observes, that same castle from the post is right behind her. Looking at the castle, and the coffee, she crushes the latter and runs towards the castle. The coffee spills and gets stepped on, as the scene transitions to the castle from the post.

Loona looks around trying to find Octavia, but her phone goes off again, revealing another post from Octavia depicting where she's at, but no sign of her in real life.

In another post, where she's seen in front of the Holly's Wood sign, Loona is right in front of it, and when she believes she found Octavia, she mistakes her for a human that looks like her from behind.

The montage continues as Loona scrolls through her phone to multiple places that Octavia has been in, with the background changing to its exact location, but every attempt proves futile with Octavia nowhere to be found.

Loona sweats for a while but still keeps searching. She eventually approaches an observatory in front of her.

*Back at the Studio*

The audience is seen looking visibly bored, and one of them is mentally scarred. Stolas and Jess also look tired of this whole situation.

"Oh, Uggie! You've gone and done it again. That's the fifth couch this year!" Roman continues to act this line with a pug, who seems to have urinated on the set's couch.

The screens still advise the audience to laugh, but they struggle to do so, including Stolas and Jess. One audience member laughs out of insanity and then passes out when foaming at the mouth.

"You know, maybe it's about time we found you a new home, one that could put up with your attitude". Blitzø says while putting the pug on the ground with a leash.

A child actor then appears on set. "I could take him, Mr. Ronnie! I'd be happy to adopt old Uggie and give him the attention he needs!"

As more actors come on stage and pose as a family coming together, the spotlight centers only on them, with cute animals surrounding them.

The crowd responds with an "Awww", as Blitzø faces away from them. "Yeah... yeah, m-maybe, you should adopt..."

Jess hears this and both she and Blitzø look at the pug, their expressions saddening as they start to have a flashback.

*Flashback*

Blitzø and Jess look in a cell with a bunch of hounds, the one in the center resembling Uggie.

"Aww, they're all so cute". Jess says.

"And they're.... sad". Blitzø adds.

Both are seen at an adoption center. Blitzø is looking for a kid while Jess was there to help him out.

The adoption center lady leads them to another cell. "Maybe you could adopt this one here. Quite a strong lad, he'll be perfect for whatever work you want to use him for".

Blitzø sets his sight on the dog he's recommended, but his look of excitement turns into disgust after seeing the hound's face. "Ugh! No, I'm not looking for no ugly wonker, heh. I need something that's more family-friendly".

The adoption center lady responds in a deadpan tone. "A gift for the wife, huh?"

Blitzø and Jess share an embarrassed look. "Hehe! W-we're not married". Jess tells her. "I-I'm just here for moral support".

"I wasn't referring to you". The lady says. "No matter. We have a nice selection of other hounds".

As the three continue to walk, Blitzø stops for a moment at the cell in front of him. "Who's that?" He points.

A mad teenage Loona is texting on her phone with a younger vicious hound holding a bat full of bloody nails.

"Oh, her? That's just Loona. What a nightmare". The lady answers. "Serious attitude problems".

The younger hound is thrown against the cell bars. Loona pants furiously and then crawls back into her space. Blitzø and Jess look at each other before observing Loona as her angry faces turns slowly into sadness.

"She'll be out of our hair next month when she ages out. Good riddance if you ask me. She'll never amount to anything much". The lady says with as little sympathy as possible.

Loona scoots back over in her bench, holding herself and shedding tears.

The scenes flashes between a sad Loona, a sympathetic Blitzø, and an empathetic Jess until flashing back to the present on set.

*End of Flashback*

"No. No, no, no, you can't have her!" Jess yells from the audience. "She's been through a lot and deserves a loving home with Blitzø!"

Blitzø turns to Jess and nods, agreeing with her statement. "Jess is right! She's mine, and I love her!"

The signs that say "Laugh" changes to "Awww?", as this moves the audience but confuses Stolas and Roman.

The child actor steps closer to Blitzø. "But, Mr. Ronnie, you gotta let me have the puppy. You just gotta!"

Blitzø hisses at her, preventing her from touching Uggie. "Don't you touch her, you little anal fissure!"

The child actor steps away from the scene as the audience laughs, which offends Blitzø.

"Oh, you think this is funny, assholes?! She's not fit to be a mother! I saw her doing lines of coke in her dressing room!" Blitzø points to the child actor, who's trying to walk away from his outburst.

"Blitzø, what are you doing?!" Roman asks.

"Roman, you just don't understand!" Jess tells him.

"Understand what? You people aren't telling me anything!"

Seeing them break character, the producer sends his agents to try and deal with Blitzø and Roman.

"Now, uh... Ronnie. I think maybe you should--", A female actor tries to take Uggie from Blitzø, but he smacks her off of him, as well as the wig on her head.

"No! You can't have my baby, bitch! I'LL NEVER GET RID OF HER!"

As the agents corner Blitzø, he pulls out a gun against them, with the signs above exclaiming "Oh, shit!"

More people pile on top of him, but he shoots several of them in the head, though he's still trapped within the crowd. Roman even gets pulled into the fight unintentionally by one of the agents.

Jess jumps over the fence between the set and the audience and joins in too. "Get your hands off of them!"

Stolas tries to approach as well. "I'm coming, Roman!" He trips but gets back up again and tries to move through the crowd to save the boys. "Excuse me! Would you mind?!"

He is pushed back by someone and Jess gets thrown in his direction but misses him. Fed up with this, Stolas grabs his water bottle and pathetically throws it across.

It hits the producer, but as the acid water spills all over him, it burns his skin severely. This causes him to knock down the teleprompter, which then reads "Let it burn" in red, lighting the stage on fire, and putting the lights out for a moment.

When they turn back on, the whole studio is on fire, the screens said the word"PANIC" with the middle one almost falling off, and everything was in chaos, which causes the audience to panic and run.

"Well, this escalated faster than expected!" Jess comments in worry. "Where are the boys?"

"I don't-- Ah!" Stolas gets accidentally pushed back by the crowd, almost falling before Roman catches him by the arm.

"Are you alright?" Roman asks. Despite his worried look and torn-up outfit, the fire in the background managed to enhance his appearance and made him look like a dreamy savior.

At least in Stolas' eyes, because he was red in the face upon seeing him.

"Good, one down. And another one to--". Before Jess could finish, she was harshly pushed to the burning set by someone.

And unfortunately, the crash was just enough to make the middle screen fall completely. She looked up to see it and embraced herself for impact, but was quickly pushed out of the way by another person before the screen hit her.

Jess hit the ground and looked up to see who saved her. She then realized it was Blitzø, who still has his gun in his hand, and his pink shirt is ripped in half. An explosion bursts behind him highlighting his toned figure. "Now, let's go find our daughters". He spoke in a determined voice as he held his hand out to Jess.

She blushed just as hard as Stolas did and grabbed Blitzø's hand. He helped her up and rushed to the exit of the studio, his hand never letting go of hers. Meanwhile, Roman picked up Stolas bridal style and ran after the two, with Stolas still blushing at his actions while the entire building burns down.

*Across Town*

Loona is still seen looking around until she halts at a staircase near the observatory, seeing a crying Octavia by herself. She notices a blue hue next to her, which is seen by Loona reverting back to her normal form.

"Hey", Loona greets her kindly.

Octavia wipes her tears. "Hey... How did you find me?"

"Your Sinstagram. Nice pics by the way". Loona pulls out her phone, showing pics that Octavia posted.

"Oh, thanks". Octavia sniffles.

"You okay?"

"Can't believe I was so stupid. I spent all day looking for a place where I could see some dumb meteor shower". Octavia begins to cry again. "And all I get is... this!" She gestures to the smoggy sky.

"Yeah, smog's a bitch". Loona attempts to light up a cigarette, but no flames come out. As she tries, Octavia snaps a flame for Loona's cigarette. Loona takes a smoke, and some of it gets in Octavia's face. "You know, your dad and your... well, step-dad I guess, are really worried about you". Loona tells her as she sits next to Octavia on the ledge.

Octavia scoffs. "Right! That's why you're here instead of them. They couldn't be bothered to keep their promise, and now they can't be bothered to come and get me themselves. Dad rather spend his time just screaming at my mum and Roman just encourages it. Why does he hate her more than he loves me? And why does Roman have to be involved?" She sniffs in sadness.

A long silence happens between them until Loona extracts her cigarette and exhales. "Sometimes... sometimes it's not as simple as that. This kind of shit gets messy, and everybody's got issues, especially dads. And sometimes they fuck up -- well, all the time. And as for the ones that get involved in their issues, sometimes they just want to help, and other times it's not by choice. But, that doesn't mean they don't care".

"If they both care, where are they?"

"They're somewhere down there". Loona points her cigarette to the city.

"They're here?" Octavia asks.

"Looking for you. I mean..." Loona smokes her cigarette once more. "Try to cut your dad some slack and try to understand his partner". She continues to light up her lighter, and a flame finally lights up. "They may not always get it right, but... they're trying". She looks at the lighter and sees the sticker with the I.M.P. logo on it, and gives a smile as she looks towards Octavia. "That's more important than you think".

Octavia looks at her in surprise, until she notices a light shining on her face, which is seen to be coming from the moon as the smog clears up. As the two stare at the moon, Loona turns off her lighter and throws away her cigarette. She stands up for a few stretches. "You ready to go?"

She extends her hand to Octavia, but instead, she gives her the grimoire. "Yeah".

Loona gives her hand to Octavia once more, and this time, she is greeted with a hug, to which Loona returns the favor. The scene pans out as the two hold hands.

*Meanwhile*

The Starstruck Studios building is still burning and there are police cars being heard in the distance. Blitzø, Jess, Stolas, and Roman are seen walking away and Blitzø has his phone to use the map app in order to track down the girls.

"Now, if we could just find where..."

A red portal appears in front of them, where Loona exits. With her hand still in the portal, she removes herself from it with Octavia still holding her hand.

"Loona!" Jess exclaims happily while Blitzø runs up to hug his daughter.

"Oh, Loona, my sweet baby girl! I'm so sorry, I'll never replace you no matter what you--". Before he can finish his sentence, Loona furiously kicks Blitzø in the groin, making him he winces in pain.

"You're good". Loona says.

"Loona!" Jess scolds her.

Stolas and Roman painfully look at Blitzø, until they face Octavia.

"Dad... Roman... I'm so sorry".

The two run up to hug her, as Stolas reverts back to his demon form. "I'm just relieved you're okay!"

"You are okay, aren't you?" Roman asks before checking her over. "Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? I have a first-aid kit back home!"

"I'm fine, Roman. I promise". Octavia smiles at him.

"But, what would possess you to do such a thing? You know I haven't taught you spells like this yet". Stolas says.

"I just wanted to see the stars you promised".

"The stars?" Stolas gasps at the realization. "Azathoth's tears! Oh, no. Oh, my dear sweet Via. We are so--".

Octavia stops him as she hugs him and Roman. "I know, dad. It's okay, you're both here now".

Stolas and Roman glance at each other before returning the hug to their daughter. Loona watches happily until she notices Blitzø trying to hug her, and responds by smacking him with the book and gains a smug face.

Jess then helped Blitzø back up and looked away with a guilty expression. "Blitzø, I just wanna say I'm... sorry, for acting like an ass this morning. It's just... ever since Ozzie's and... what you told me--".

"I get it. I would be pissed too if I were you. Take all the time you need to recover. And if you prefer avoiding me or cursing me out for now, I don't blame you". Blitzø responded.

Jess grinned and embraced Blitzø tightly, causing the imp to blush softly and return the hug. Loona pretended to be grossed out by this display but basically dug her own grave when Jess pulled her in and made it a family hug, which Blitzø loved but Loona disapproved.

The families then noticed a faint glow in the sky and broke out of their hugs. As it turns out, several fireworks exploded in the sky, all of them coming from the burning building.

Loona records this on her phone. "What the fuck is that?"

"My acting career". Blitzø crosses his arms while Jess giggles at him.

As the fireworks take off, Stolas, Roman, and Octavia look up in awe.

Octavia gasps happily. "Look at that one! Did you see that one?"

"Now, where the fuck are MnM?" Blitzø asks.

*Elsewhere*

Millie is on her phone texting Jess and telling her where she and Moxxie were. Around the alley that she came from, the portal back to I.M.P. headquarter appears in front of her.

Moxxie is then seen carrying a heavy bag full of art paraphernalia. "Art is heavy!"

Millie enters the portal, and before Moxxie can enter, he is stopped by another music salesman wanting to sell his CDs. Moxxie approaches to pay him for the demo, but Millie throws a knife before Moxxie can pay him, then grabs the demo and throws it in the street.

"March, mister!" She orders her husband.

Moxxie sadly walks to the portal, but for a short while after, Millie carries him effortlessly into the portal, leaving the huge bag of art behind.

Chapter Text

I spend fucking weeks of sleepless nights trying to write up the new episode on Wattpad since I'm able to save progress there. And what does Wattpad do to me?

It buffers and deletes ALL OF MY GODDAMN PROGRESS JUST BEFORE I FINISH THE FUCKING WEDDING SCENE!!!

UUUGGGHHH!!!

*Sigh*

This has angered me so much that I need to take a mental break from the internet for a while. I'm definitely coming back to complete the episode, but my anger is through the roof right now and I need to recover from the realization that I wasted hours of no sleep for nothing.

See you guys soon.

Chapter Text

Here's an update, I'm thinking about rewriting the entirety of my Helluva Boss fanfic. I've been rereading some of the stuff I've done, and I noticed how some of my moments from season 1 kind of gets conflicted or retconned with ideas I have for season 2.

And because one of my big pet peeves is inconsistency in story writing, I'm eventually going to take down the fanfic and repost it as I try to rewrite specific scenes where I'm sure I can do better with the characterization and storytelling.

Let it be known that not every single aspect will be changed, so if some bits of the chapter feel the same, it's because changing them wouldn't add much or maybe I like what I did there.

Anyways, I hope you all have a good day and I'll see you guys very soon.