Archive of Our Own ^beta

He was half asleep when the bed creaked, and the larger body beside him got up, leaving an empty side to which Junho extended his hand to, checking if the older man had actually got up. When he felt that it was empty, Junho frowned and opened his eyes. He saw the older man on the side of the bed, his back facing him. Junho couldn't help but smile at the scratches on the man's back, which was a work done by him on their third round a few hours ago.

Forcing himself to sit up, he watched as the older man picked up the clothes that were scattered on the floor. Separating his clothes with Junho's by putting his clothes on the chair of the hotel room. It's not like the clothes were hard to differentiate anyway, Junho was smaller than him when it comes to size.

"What are you doing Taec.. let's go back to bed~" 

Taecyeon stopped when Junho called him, but he proceeded to get dressed anyway. Ignoring Junho who was now hugging a pillow naked, the blanket was the only thing covering his lower body part. He watched as the older man tidied his shirt and tucked it under his pants, Junho could only roll his eyes, anyone could still see that messy shirt from a mile away.

"Where are you going Taec…" he asked with a frown when Taecyeon was putting his tie back on.

A sigh was the only thing that came out of the older's mouth. Taecyeon turned to Junho with a look on his face. And of course he knew what that look meant, he was expecting it actually.

"Let's stop this Junho… i can't bring myself to do this anymore"

"You say you can't bring yourself to do this, but every time I call you, you always pick up Taec.. so am I really in the wrong here?"

Junho watched as Taecyeon expressions turned from anger, sadness, to then regret. Perhaps regretting all those times he accepted Junho's offer, the times where he would pick up Junho's call in one ring, the times where he missed or ignored his fiancee's calls since Junho's moans were always loud enough to block the buzzing sound from his bag.

Taecyeon grabbed his bag on the floor, before looking back at Junho again, "I told him you know.. about us.."

Hearing those words come out of Taecyeon's mouth made him interested, because all this time, he never thought the man had it in him. Junho had accepted that this was going to be something between the two of them, but hearing this news, he wasn't lying if he said he was a bit surprised.

"How did he react?"

"How else?" The older mans scoffed, "he almost call off our wedding"

"Oh you mean your fairytale wedding? That would've been too bad, you did spend a lot of money for it"

The older man glared at him, taking cash out of his bag and putting it on the night stand beside the bed.

"What am I some sort of whore now?" he scoffed at Taecyeon

"I can't drive you home like i used to.. this should be enough to pay for the taxi fare for you"

Junho took the cash from the nightstand and counted it, and Taecyeon was right, it was enough for him to get back home.

Kicking the blanket off, Junho got off the bed, putting the money Taecyeon gave him in his pant's pocket. Before going to the bathroom to grab a towel, because as much as he loved being naked around Taecyeon, the situation right now was not asking for it.

After wrapping the towel around his hips, Junho leaned on the bathroom doorway, watching as Taecyeon put on his shoe. The older man was about to open the door when Junho couldn't help but ask a burning question in his head.

"So when's the wedding?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you.. Wooyoung doesn't want you to know after all this"

Walking up Taecyeon, Junho wrapped his arms around the older man. Immediately, Taecyeon got stiff with his touch. But Junho didn't let go.

"I thought I was your friend? And Wooyoung's too"

"Junho.. he doesn't even want me to see you anymore, i fucking broke a promise with my soon to be husband by meeting up with you, now let go of me or i swear.."

Before Junho could even say anything, Taecyeon pushed his arms off. Opening the door in a hurry and slamming it shut, leaving Junho in the hotel room alone, half naked, with that empty feeling slowly creeping up on him again.

While he was still in the taxi, Junho saw a familiar car at the front of his house. He expected him to be here, he probably already got in with the spare key Junho gave him, but the question was did he come alone?

And the answer was of course not, Chansung never visits here alone, his foreign roommate would always tag along whenever the taller man visits Junho's house. But he never complained, Nichkhun hyung was nice and got along with most of their friends, Wooyoung introduced him to their friend group. He was a friend that Wooyoung made when he went overseas for his job. Nichkhun was only supposed to stay in Korea for a short while, only to visit Wooyoung of course, but Junho noticed that plan was immediately scrapped when he got close to Chansung, maybe a little too close .

Thanking the driver, Junho immediately got out of the car. The car door alerted Nichkhun and Chansung of his presence. The thai man gave him a glare, saying something to Chansung that Junho wasn't able to pick up before going into Junho's house.

He walked up to Chansung, who was obviously disappointed at him. The younger man wasn't someone Junho could read easily, Chansung's expression could mean a plethora of things, but somehow, this time he knew exactly what was on Chansung's head.

"Junho.. can we talk inside?"

Staring at the front door that's already unlocked and opened, Junho was now starting to regret giving Chansung a spare key to his house. What was gonna happen anyway? It's not like Chansung could do anything if something bad were to happen to him.

"Well since you two already made yourself at home.. yeah sure, let's talk inside"

When he first walked inside, Junho was expecting everything but a fist to his face. A yell, a cold shoulder, a glare, cries of how he dared to hurt Wooyoung that way. He expected everything, everything but a fist to his face. The fact that Nichkhun, someone who would barely hurt a fly in Junho's eye, punched him on the cheek, made him realize that maybe he's in deeper trouble than he expected.

He touched his left cheek and hissed in pain, it still sting, it was sure gonna get swollen later if he doesn't get an ice pack quickly.

"Fucking hell Khun hyung, just wait outside, if you do this it's gonna get worse for everyone"

Nichkhun turned to the younger man with a scowl, before turning back to Junho and pointing his finger at him.

"I hope you're fucking happy ruining not only the relationship of your two bestfriends, but your friendship with the two as well.. i hope Wooyoung regrets ever meeting you asshole"

The foreign man stormed outside, not giving a single glance at Junho again. Now Junho wasn't sure what hurt more, the punch Nichkhun gave him, or the words that he just said to him.

He motioned Chansung to sit at the couch while he grabbed an ice pack for himself. The cold bag on his cheek was a bit painful at first, but he doesn't want a swollen cheek tomorrow.

Sitting down on the sofa, Junho looked at Chansung. His friend was looking at him, in a pitiful way, but Junho's pride refused to acknowledge it as a pitiful look. He glared at Chansung before turning his attention to his cats who were sleeping on the cat tower.

"Junho you're an idiot"

"Can you go more in depth to why I am one?"

He could hear Chansung sigh, probably in frustration, or realization of how his friend of fifteen years was actually a homewrecker.

"How long has this been going on with Taec?"

"Around college I'd say? But we don't do it often"

Turning back to Chansung, Junho kept a dead panned expression. When in all honesty, he was tired with all this confrontation, he just wanted to go to sleep. Dealing with Taecyeon earlier already made him so tired, now he had to deal with Chansung asking questions too? Can't the world give him a break?

"College? Junho, that was ten years ago.. and Wooyoung met Taecyeon at college.."

"Yeah.. I met him at the party he hosted at his frat, and it all started from there" 

Junho remembers that frat party a little too well, drowning himself in cheap beer, losing horribly at beer pong, and then bumping into a tall handsome man. Which he woke up next to the morning after, both of them naked, bodies tangled to each other. And most importantly, an ungodly pain in Junho's ass.

He would then find out later that the man was named Taecyeon, a business major in his fifth semester. And his best friend Wooyoung had a crush on the older man, by that he means his friend had it bad for Taecyeon. Everyone practically knew about Wooyoung's crush on Taecyeon, well everyone except Taecyeon of course.

One thing led to another, Wooyoung did end up confessing to Taecyeon, and the two started dating. Of course at the time when Junho found out about the two, he congratulated them and decided he would not get close to Taecyeon anymore, even though he's sure that what happened between him and Taec was just a one time thing. But just a week after those two got together, there was a knock on his door in the middle of the night. Junho who was still up trying to finish off his assignments, opened the door only to see Taecyeon standing there. And of course before he even gets to question it, Taecyeon's lips were on his. Pushing him inside the dorm room, closing the door behind them.

Chansung clearing his throat brought Junho back from his nostalgia trip.

"Wooyoung called us, well he called Nichkhun but I was there to hear it.. he was crying when he told us everything that's going on with him and Taec hyung.."

"And you drove all the way here to show that you're mad at me for what I've done?"

The younger shaked his head, "I'm not mad.. disappointed sure, but not mad.. Khun hyung is a different story though"

Then there was awkward silence between the two. It was never like this before, the two of them, along with Wooyoung, were the bestest friends. Their friendship lasted from middle school, high school, college, even well into their adult life, in other words they are inseparable, or at least they used to be inseparable.

Chansung got up, and was about to leave before he turned to Junho again, "I hope you know you fucked up Junho.. their wedding is soon you know.. no scratch that, you know Taecyeon and Wooyoung were dating but you still did that behind his back, fucking hell"

And the way Chansung left was different from how Taecyeon left, but Junho can't help but feel that it was similar. It was as if everyone was starting to walk out of his life, and he couldn't even be mad about it. So there he was left alone in his house, an ice pack on his cheek, and that empty feeling creeping up on him.

The next morning, Junho was rudely woken up by a call on his phone. He fell asleep on the couch last night, since after Chansung left, he barely had any energy to get up and walk to his bed. 

Taking the phone, Junho immediately answered the call without checking who it came from, "Hello..?"

"You still sound sleepy, did I wake you up?"

Rubbing his eyes, Junho checked the clock on the wall. It was 11.30, he had to wake up anyone or else he was going to sleep the whole day away.

"Yeah.. i kinda hoped that i died in my sleep though, would've been a peaceful rest.."

"You okay?"

"Yeah.. just tired i guess" Junho sighed, all the events of last night still fresh in his mind.

"Aigoo, let me treat you dinner tonight then",

Those words made him smile a bit, maybe despite all this chaos going on around him, it relieved him to know there's one person who doesn't know what's going on with him and would treat him as they normally do. Because right now, he needed that the most.

"I would like that.. hmmm.. see you later"

Turning the call off, Junho got up and greeted his cats, playing with them for a bit to recharge his energy for the day. No matter how many people judge him, he could always lean on his cats for support. Having his fur babies in his life was really a blessing, maybe he didn't need anyone else other than his cats in this life.

After he was done playing with his cats, he went to take a warm shower. Checking his cheek on the bathroom mirror in case it got swollen, though thankfully the ice pack worked wonders and his cheek looked normal.

Going to his bedroom, Junho was drying off his hair when Johnny suddenly jumped on his dresser, meowing at him for attention. He smiled at Johnny, petting the cat who purred at his touch. His eyes turned to the photo frame beside the feline. It was a photo of him with his arms around Chansung and Wooyoung, at the field of their highschool on graduation day. They were all wearing their graduation toga, with stupid smiles on their faces.

He stopped petting Johnny and picked up the photo frame, feeling nostalgic at the memory of graduating with his friends. Junho chuckled at the look on Wooyoung’s face, it was so obvious that he cried there, and Chansung was obviously holding tears too. He wasn’t crying in this photo though, he was just happy that he wouldn’t have to learn chemistry anymore.

Sighing at the memory, Junho put the photo back on the hairdresser, facing down. Somehow that beautiful memory had become sad, and it was his fault.

He sat down at the side of his bed, closing his eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. The Junho from last night who seemed to not care about the situation has finally broken down. Because even with the attitude he had last night, he was still just a fragile human. He was in the wrong, sure, but with his friends and lover, walking out of his life one by one.

In the end, he couldn’t hold it in. Tears flowed down his cheeks, dropping on his pants. He gripped on his bedsheets as he choked on his tears. He cried quietly as if someone would hear him, when there was no one in this house other than him. It hurt him, losing the most important people in his life, all in one day. But at the same time he fucked up, so he expected it. Chansung was right, he was an idiot, he should’ve pushed Taecyeon away that night at the dorm. He should’ve made it as a one time thing. He should’ve never called Taecyeon again. He should’ve never hurt Wooyoung like this.

He couldn’t help but wonder how Wooyoung was doing right now, knowing his fiancee has been cheating behind his back for years now. Will he call off the wedding, will he break up with Taecyeon? Junho hopes not, those two were such a cute couple. Always brightening the mood in their friend group, they were really perfect for each other.

But he ruined it, he suddenly remembered Nichkhun’s words from last night. He does hope Wooyoung regrets ever meeting him, he hopes Wooyoung regrets ever befriending him back in middle school.

Feeling light headed, Junho wiped his tears. Sighing, he laid down on his bed, a few more drops of tears escaped his eyes. He stared at his ceiling, thinking about all the regrets in his life. He thought about how Wooyoung didn’t deserve him, Chansung didn’t deserve him, all the kind people in his life didn’t deserve him, he was an asshole, an idiot.

A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. Taking a look at the time on his phone, it was already 6pm. He can’t believe he has been laying in bed, surrounded by his dark thoughts for three hours. How did time pass so fast?

Pulling himself up, Junho made his way towards the door. Opening the door, he saw his brother Minjun standing in front of his door with a smile. But then the smile immediately changed to a frown when he saw how Junho looked. Was it really that bad?

“Junho..”

“Ah.. hyung dinner right? Wait i haven’t gotten ready yet, i’ll go change-”

He was cut off by Minjun putting a hand on his shoulder when he was about to go get ready. Junho could tell Minjun was worried for him, the older man was always worried for him ever since he moved out on his own. But that was probably the brotherly instinct.

“I’ll just order take out for us okay? You go sit down okay?”

Minjun walked inside, his left hand was pushing Junho towards the sofa, while the other was busy ordering food for the both of them.

It didn’t take long for the food to arrive, and Minjun was the one who took it from the front door. Complaining about the price becoming more expensive when it’s takeout.

“Then why didn't we just go to the restaurant then?”

Minjun shrugged as he opened the box of his fried chicken, “I suddenly just want to eat at home with my brother”

“You noticed, didn't you?”

“Anyone would’ve, Junho, have you seen yourself.. You look like shit” the older man answered while putting on the plastic glove to eat

It’s rare for Minjun to be so straightforward with him. But he agreed with his brother, he did look like shit, and he felt like shit. Following the older man’s action, Junho put on the plastic glove and started eating his chicken. He just realized that he hasn’t eaten anything for the whole day, probably another reason why he looks like shit.

While eating Minjun talked about his day, and how their family misses them in Daegu, he suggested they should probably visit soon. Junho nodded, it’s been awhile since he saw his mom. Maybe he should take a week off from work to visit her, along with Minjun of course.

They were too lazy to throw away the boxes after they finished eating, so they just stacked them on the table and waited for one of them to finally have the energy to get up again. And Minjun of course took this as a chance to ask Junho about what’s going on.

“I’m just worried, Junho.. You look like a mess, and you said you didn’t eat at all today?”

“Must’ve slipped my mind..”

Minjun frowned at the answer. The older man scooted closer to Junho, and patted his shoulder, “Hey, i’m your brother, you can tell me anything and i won’t judge you”

“You’re gonna judge me”

“Okay maybe a little”

He laughed at his brother’s words, “Well it all started in college when i decided to join a frat party that a someone invited me to, and there i met-”

“Just get to the point”

Smirking at how annoyed Minjun sounds. Junho crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back to the sofa, “i might have ruined my best friend's relationship, by having multiple one night stands with his fiancee”

“YOU WHAT?” 

Minjun yelling woke Cookie up, and Junho shushed him for it. But the older man just continued to glare at him, making Junho pout.

“You said you won’t judge..”

“You expect me to not judge this? Junho you idiot”

Minjun hit his brother multiple times, but not enough to hurt him. For Junho it felt like they were eleven and thirteen years old again, fighting over the console controller on the couch.

“Yah! Our mom didn’t teach you to do this!”

“Of course she didn’t! Hey-- Ow! Stop!”

He pushed Minjun off, and the older man stopped hitting him. Junho could tell his brother was very angry, so he sat a bit further from him, avoiding any future hits that would come his way.

“You’re an idiot”

“Not the first one to tell me”

“How could you? Oh my god you’re such an asshole”

“They also said that to me” He said while leaning on the sofa arm.

Minjun shaked his head, “I’m disappointed at you”

“Again not the first one--”

“Junho do you not feel like you did something wrong? Stop with your sarcastic answers i want to know how you’re actually feeling right now”

Frowning, Junho reached out for Johnny who was under the coffee table, letting the cat lick his fingers. He thought about what he should reply to Minjun with, but at the same time, he could never lie when it comes to his brother.

“Of course I feel like I did something wrong, I feel like the scum of the earth Hyung. God i don’t even have friends anymore after this, I fucked up in every shape and form-- i want to disappear Hyung, i hate myself for doing this.. I don’t understand why i did this i--”

He felt tears on his cheeks again, wiping it, Junho tried to hold it in again. He doesn’t deserve to cry, he was the one who fucked it up, he shouldn’t cry over this, Wooyoung was having it worse than him, he should never cry.

Suddenly Minjun pulled him into a hug, and said probably the words Junho wanted to hear the most, “Let it out, I’ll be here for you”

And with that Junho tears flowed again, wetting Minjun’s jacket with his tears. He held on to the older’s arms, as he let everything he had been holding back out. His brother patted his back and said nothing, somehow it felt comforting.

So he stayed there, crying his eyes out on Minjun's shoulders for hours. And he finally felt like the heavy weight on his shoulders had been removed, after everything, he felt relieved. This time he wasn’t left alone, and the empty feeling suddenly stopped creeping on him.