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English
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Part 3 of Comic Complemented Fics
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Published:
2021-08-02
Words:
637
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1/1
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69
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California Dreaming

Summary:

"What are you dreaming about, little guy?" Shane muttered to the smiling sleeping beauty in the room.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

"So what you're trying to- to postulate, Ryan, is that it'd literally kill you to be open about your feelings?" Shane jeered in disbelief.

 

The glare that Ryan leveled him with made him wish he never opened his mouth to begin with.

 

"You're really- I can't- You know what, Shane?" The speed with which Ryan went from looking hurt to cold sent shivers down Shane's spine. "Yeah. That is what I'm trying to fucking say. It's nice-" Shane's heart squeezed at the way Ryan's voice began to crackle and quiet, his embers burning out with the wind of what now felt like miles between them. "It's nice to know that I really have such nice, supportive friends, hm?"

 

Shane didn't get to reach out and stop Ryan before the younger man was out the door of Shane's apartment in tears.

 

That was the last time he saw Ryan awake.

 

 

Shane stirred awake when he heard Ryan grumble contentedly in his sleep, and though his sticky contacts obscured his vision, he couldn't help but focus in immediately on the small smile that littered Ryan's lips.

 

It was peculiar to say the least. Ryan hasn't reacted much in the time that he's been in... this state. Not to outside stimuli, and he hadn't seemed to have been dreaming, if that was even possible as he was now. And yet...

 

"What are you dreaming about, little guy?" Shane muttered to the smiling sleeping beauty in the room. His eyes were rubbed raw and the stubble on his chin was starting to form a beard. He should probably get cleaned up once he gets home from getting kicked out by the nurses again, but as he rested his cheek against Ryan's hand, remembering the way that the smaller man had rubbed his hair against it and giggled during their sleepover in Waverly Hills Sanatorium, his every fiber wanted to protest.

 

He sighed. It's been two months now. Where did the time go?

 

And Shane- Shane was still hanging onto every moment he could physically squeeze out and away from the suffocating company that he, Ryan, and Steven built together. Acting like Ryan was already gone, but- but he couldn't help it. Not when everyday he walked into this god forsaken room praying to a god he didn't believe in for someone- anyone to tell Ryan they loved him and wake him up... even if that meant Shane had to let him go.

 

His eyes drifted back to the smiling bergmeister. He wished he could take so much back. So much of his own time demanding obscenities in the room at Ryan's comatose body hoping something would work (time that could've been spent actually looking into what would help him). He wished he could take back the night before the phone call about Ryan in the ER. Would he still be here if only Shane had listened to his best friend instead of being an asshole? But most of all, he wished he could've taken back all the time he'd spent pursuing baseless flings when the man he truly wanted had always been right next to him all along. He wished he could've seen all the signs before low and behold, five years had passed between them and Ryan was vomiting a rose up right in his living room, looking scared for his life and Shane just laughed him off.

 

He leaned back against his chair again and wiped away his tears. He's already been through this. It's not gonna fix anything to sit and wallow the way he's been doing relentlessly. He should probably go report Ryan's behavior to the nurses, before it was time to leave.

 

He stood up and walked out, but not before taking one more glance at Ryan. After all, who knows when it'd be his last.

Notes:

Some clarification and bonus endings I considered putting in;

In case of confusion, Ryan contracts Hanahaki because of his deep love for Shane that never comes to light. Shane is also in love with Ryan, but never realized it until he has to watch Ryan fight for his life. All the while, he's practically grieving already, resigned to hoping for the nameless buffoon who Ryan was in love with to just show up already and tell Ryan that he loved him so he could wake up, even if it meant that Ryan wouldn't be his. He just wants his best friend to be back and well and alive. The drawings BEFORE all the text and the final drawing of Ryan in the bed hooked up to multiple machines are from Ryan's dreams. Yes Ryan is in a coma so ik he can't but we're talking about a magical disease here that comes from severely unrequited love. So.

Suffice it to say, this is a story I abandoned last year and I decided to go about it a different route bc i can't write and I wanted to be a menace because Why Not. Who's Going To Stop Me. I'm Crying Too.

I WAS thinking tho that i'd revise it to where Shane remarked smthn at the end about getting Ryan awake soon because they found someone to remove the flowers in his lungs. This varies from person to person but I like to subscribe to the idea of "remove the flowers" = "person forgets all their memories and feelings abt the person that they loved". So Shane would've optimistically gone along with it because, like in the other ending, he just wanted Ryan back fully aware that this would erase Ryan's memories, just not aware that the memories were of him. Five of Ryan's most important years, largely spent with Shane, gone, and Shane, who guiltily prayed that, with Ryan's love out of the way, he himself could make his confession, heartbroken, not only realizing that Ryan no longer remembers the moments that made the both of them fall in love in the first place, but also realizing that their argument, Ryan's coma, two long months of shedding tears and being angry at the world- it all could've been avoided if only Shane had taken Ryan seriously, and maybe, just maybe if Shane realized earlier just how much Ryan meant to him and confessed.

Sorry. I hate me, too. We can just pretend that one day Ryan's family decides to take him off of life support despite Shane's desperate protests and he's allowed one more goodbye before they pull the plug. Shane, without anyone else in the room, tells Ryan that he loves him, goodbye, and he's so fucking sorry for everything. He kisses him and leaves, but just as he's walking out and away so he can go into his car and drive home to cry and scream and drink himself into an angry stupor, he hears a scream of shock from the room and he runs back in only for Ryan to have woken up back in the state he was before everything went awry, getting hugged by his family, and then Shane realizes he was Ryan's love and they share a deep kiss in mutual realization after his fam lets him go. Soon after though, they pull away and Shane, crying, laughs that Ryan needs to brush his teeth before he can keep kissing him and Ryan kisses him one more time just to be a brat and they celebrate and yeah hurrah. Because this was the finalized ending I made for the fic before I decided not to post it at all.

If you read through all of this, I deeply apologize for my run on sentences.

SIDE NOTE side note : I accidentally left this originally tagged as Mature instead of explicit LMAOOOOOOO catch me forgetting that drawn smut is explicit. It's 1 AM and I want to die so sorry

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