Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Suguru never understood parties. He never understood the pleasure of drinking and the loud noises that were accompanied by the smell of either vomit or something else that always surrounded college parties. But there he was, downing every last drop of some weird concoction based alcohol in a red solo cup he snatched from the kitchen counter. 

Could’ve been someone else's drink or it could’ve been spiked, who knows? There he was fleeing from his own reality much like every other person in the house drinking and smoking and dancing their problems away.

Shoko knew he needed to leave his house, having been prohibited to leave the house after an incident at a family dinner which included an accidental insult to a very important person and a very angry father. This prompted her to invite him in the first place to his very first college keg party and by invite, meaning she climbed up to his window and pestered the studying boy until he caved in and snuck out avoiding every surveillance camera surrounding his house. 

After 10 minutes of just standing there being left alone by Shoko, Suguru decided that he needed some quiet time because between the blasting of cheers from the beer pong table and the loud conversations in the stoner corner, he couldn’t stand it. The music was booming and his vision started to blur so he walked up the stairs away from the mayhem. 

Opening the first door he saw when he turned the right corridor and locked it from behind. He smacked the wall a couple times to find a switch and when he did, he sighed and looked at himself in the mirror. Splashing cold water on his face and washing out the taste of alcohol in his mouth, he wondered if his parents realized he was gone already and let out a suppressed laugh. 

He was so in trouble when he gets home. 

Drowning in his thoughts when suddenly the sound of the shower curtain being pulled roughly made him jump and whip his head to the direction. In the bathtub was a boy with white hair wearing round black sunglasses holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand. 

The boy took his sunglasses off and winced at the light, taking another sip of the warm whiskey before looking at Suguru with those piercing blue eyes, staring back at him.

“I thought I locked the damn door.” He voiced, setting the bottle down and pushing himself up from the tub. “Guess not.”

Suguru lifted an eyebrow and motioned towards the door. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s locked now.” The boy smirked and acknowledged it, standing in front of Suguru. He was a little taller than Suguru maybe by a couple inches and he reeked of alcohol and cigarettes causing Suguru’s head to spin again. “I’ll leave.”

Before he could twist the knob, the feeling of the hem of his shirt being lightly tugged caused him to whip his head back only to see the white haired boy trapping the cotton fabric between his index and middle finger. “Stay. I was getting bored sitting here alone.” An eye roll was all Suguru could muster as he dropped his hand from the door.

“I’d suggest you go outside and mingle then.” The boy smirked again and pouted his lip, shaking his head after a couple seconds. “Why were you in here all alone anyway?”

He let go of Suguru’s shirt and leaned against the sink. “Needed to get away from all of that.” Sticking out his thumb towards the door where everybody else was, the sound of muffled music surrounded the bathroom along with the noise of people still partying even though it was late into the night. “And what about you?”

"Huh?"

“Why aren’t you joining the extroverts outside escaping their own little fucked up lives, hiding behind cheap beer and cheap weed? I hear they’re starting the beer chugging contest.”

Suguru scoffed, giving a half smile before shrugging his shoulders. “Same reason you’re not out there.”

The boy walked towards the tub and picked up the bottle of whiskey he had ignored for a couple minutes and shoved it in Suguru’s chest. He must’ve noticed Suguru's confused expression as he took a huge gulp of it first, letting the alcohol burn in his throat before wincing at the pain. “Your turn. We’re both gonna be in here for a while, might just have some fun, am I right?”

No. 

He really didn’t want to drink because he didn’t want to be intoxicated with this stranger in the small bathroom, especially finishing the whole bottle. The red solo cup was his first drink ever besides champagne but this stranger didn’t need to know that. 

Shaking his head to decline but the white haired boy wasn’t taking no for an answer. Suguru wasn’t a weak person so to say, never one to back down from a challenge in the first place but the way the white haired boy was looking at him with his bright blue eyes, it did something within him. Subconsciously, his hand reached out towards the bottle and knocked back the alcohol down his throat. He started to regret it a couple seconds later when his head started pounding. 

He didn’t know how long it had been since but the bottle was now empty and the two boys were sitting together in the cramped tub, legs tangled in each other. The door that separated the individuals with the party that was still going on, remained shut. Occasionally someone would knock on the door but the stranger would just yell at them to leave them alone, pretty much scaring them away. 

Some people would lean on the door and make out, enveloping the bathroom with wet sounds along with the muffled moans and it was Suguru’s turn to tell them to shut up. They laughed at everything and anything, both boys' cheeks flushed with their bodies being glued to each other. 

His phone kept vibrating in his pocket but he just tossed it somewhere on the floor. Whoever it was that kept blowing his phone up could not be that important anyway, right? He leaned his head on the wall behind him and closed his eyes, exhaling a breath he didn’t realize he was keeping in and it felt good. 

Maybe going to the party wasn’t such a bad idea and he mentally thanked Shoko for dragging him out. 

Opening his eyes to glance at the company he had, he noticed the boy stopped talking about whatever he was rambling on about and was now looking at him. He nudged his shoulder and the two of them laughed. “What department are you at? I’ve never seen you around.”

Suguru turned his head to finally face him fully. “Business. I’m a freshman and you?”

“Education. Junior in the first year.” He chuckled. “No wonder I’ve never seen you around.  Which dorm?”

He stuttered. “I don’t live in the dorms. I live at home, my parents refuse to let me live alone like that.”

The boy scoffed, looking for any kind of hints of a joke but he didn’t find one. “Oh shit you’re serious.” Suguru didn’t know if he should be offended or not. “How old are you again?”

“19. It’s complicated. I’m supposed to take over my dad’s business one day so they disapprove of anything that will taint the name of the family or company. Really strict shit.” He had always thought of how weird it was how controlling his parents were, his whole family as a matter of fact but now that he said it out loud, he couldn’t help but laugh. “One wrong move and I’m out. They’ll send me away but I can’t do that. I can’t leave my mom like that.” He bit his lip before continuing. “Not with him.”

Panic started filling his chest, he never meant to say it out loud. He never even opened up to Shoko like that, his best friend but there he was spewing everything to a complete stranger he just met maybe an hour ago. He stopped himself from talking, turning his head away to stare at the wall. 

He wouldn’t be surprised if the boy got up and left but it never happened, not moving an inch from where they sat together. All he heard was a faint laugh before shooting the boy with the side eye. 

“You’re also escaping your fucked up life.” He laughed again. “Taint the family name. That sounds like serious shit.” Rubbing his forehead as he looked at Suguru. “Does daddy know you’re getting drunk with a stranger in a very tight bathtub that barely fits both our legs in a small bathroom at a very rowdy college party?”

“I snuck out.” 

The statement made the boy laugh out loud, even louder but he knew nobody could hear them. The music was still roaring outside with people still partying, nobody could hear them burst out laughing. 

“So I assume this is also your first time drinking actual booze.” Suguru shrugged. “You’re something else, rich boy. You were just talking about not spraying shit on your family name but you’re here being the rebel that you are deep down.” The boy teased. 

They sat in silence once again after Suguru didn’t answer or respond back to the boy’s comment. He tried to find the words to counter what was said but it was what it looked like. He snuck out and went to a keg party and instead of doing the normal thing and getting drunk, there he was in a bathroom with a very good looking stranger. 

Suddenly, it was pitch black. The sound of people cheering could be heard and that’s when it dawned on him that the power was out. “Looks like the party is over.” 

Suguru’s eyes adjusted to the darkness and looked at the boy. He didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to go back home and pretend the night never happened. He felt more alive in the small space with this stranger than any time in his life. He wanted to stop time and spend more time there, just leaving everything behind.

Why do good things not last long? He was scared to go back home and face his own reality, another day of being the NPC of his own life. While his head was spinning with all these anxious emotions, he felt a light tug on his shirt. 

“Are you okay? You spaced out for a second there.”

Instantly he was pulled out of the ocean that was his thoughts. The feeling of the boy scooting closer to him before he felt hands cup his cheeks and that's when he realized he was crying. He felt the wetness roll down to his cheek and into the boy’s palms and he couldn’t ignore how warm they felt. 

The fingertips that softly and perfectly held his face. Why wasn’t he weirded out by now? Between all the word vomit Suguru spewed to him crying for no reason, he should've left by now just like anybody else would.

The bathroom was still dark and gloomy, the sounds outside too seemed to have died down a little bit. He sniffed a couple times and laughed to himself. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying.” 

“Repeat after me.” He voiced. “I’m strong.”

“I’m not doing that.” Satoru grunted and squished his cheeks harder, making the boy giggle. “Okay. Okay, I’m strong.”

“Say it louder! Like you mean it.” Suguru uttered it louder but it still wasn’t enough. “Louder, rich boy!”

“I am strong!” He yelled out, cheeks still being held by the big warm hands but instead of crying he was now smiling wide and laughing together, their laughs molding into something that sounded so beautiful and sweet it made Suguru dizzy. He repeated the words over and over again to his heart’s content, filling up the bathroom with the sound of his roaring voice. 

The boy looked satisfied and nodded his head. “Good. Whenever you think you’re not good enough or you’re not doing things right, remember these words.” Mirroring his smile and circling his thumbs on the apples of Suguru’s cheeks, they stayed there for a couple minutes. 

Not one moving an inch.

When the lights turned on, the two boys winced at the sudden attack on their eyeballs. The boy picked up his sunglasses and put them on, trying to avoid going blind. The warm hands leaving his cheeks made him feel empty but he didn’t dwell on it for too long. Getting up to retrieve his phone from the floor only to see 10 missed calls from Shoko and 10 unread messages from her. 

The last message read, I don’t know if you ditched me to go home but I’m outside the house waiting for you anyway. That was four minutes ago so he sighed and got up from the tub, stretched his body followed by the white haired boy. 

He replied. I’m still here. I’m coming out.

Before he turned the knob on the door, turning his head to face the boy, he smiled. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Tonight. I think I would’ve gone crazy if I had to spend the whole night out there.”

The boy chuckled. “You broke rules today, rich boy. I’m proud of you.” Suguru snorted and leaned against the door with his arms crossed. “Any other rules you wanna break before you shift back to reality?”

Suguru bit his bottom lip and without skipping a beat, he took a step forward and pulled the sunglasses off the boy’s face delicately, trying to not hurt him. Holding the accessory in between his fingers, he leaned in closer and with his free hand, he touched the boy’s nape to pull him closer. 

He looked at the boy one last time before his eyes darted towards his lips and he finally went for it. Suguru closed his eyes and stole a kiss. 

His very first kiss with a boy.

He had kissed girls before in high school but none of those could come close to how it felt kissing this stranger at that moment. He usually took control but in that instant, he just melted into a puddle of hot rose pink goo. All he could think about was his heart starting to pick up speed and nothing more. 

Their lips touched for a couple seconds and when he finally snapped, he knew it was a big mistake. 

He had just pounced on this stranger and kissed him, what was he thinking?

Suguru gave it another second before he began to pull back and apologise but the sudden tug from his waist made him jump a little and the boy opened his mouth slightly while tilting his head to angle the kiss better. Their lips were chapped thanks to the alcohol and the temperature of the room they were in but it felt tender and soft. 

No sparks or fireworks could be seen or felt but butterflies were a different story. Suguru could feel butterflies roaming his entire abdomen, stirring his stomach making it a little bit ticklish. He could feel his heart pounding hard in his chest as if asking to be let out, hard enough to break his rib cage.

The white haired boy didn’t seem to mind. He saw that as an opportunity to take control and honestly, Suguru too, didn’t mind it. He felt much more comfortable being led by this stranger, how he would bite Suguru’s lip and lick it right after. How he would use his tongue to open Suguru’s mouth a bit wider. 

It felt heavenly.

Hands that were once around his waist were now lifted to his cheeks. He didn’t know why this small touch would make his head whirl and his heart felt like they were doing the most intense flips, and Suguru knew he never wanted to forget the feeling. He took the boy’s hand on his cheeks and gave it a little kiss before tilting his head up to look at him, placing the sunglasses back onto his face, giving him one last peck.

“The biggest rule.” He poked fun at the stranger. 

Suguru finally left the bathroom, leaving the boy to stand there alone with a huge smirk on his  face. The house was partly empty seeing that there were less people now so he walked to the front door, seeing Shoko standing there with two of her friends talking. 

“Suguru! Where were you, idiot?”

He shrugged his shoulders as a response but that was enough to satisfy her. “At least you didn’t ditch me.” The two started walking to her car that was parked on the opposite side of the road at the empty street. “Did you have fun?”

He had the most fun he’s ever had in his 19 years of living. “Yeah.” 

Only when he climbed up to his room and changed into something to sleep in was when he started thinking about the boy again. His white soft hair and his piercing blue eyes. He touched his lip, missing the feeling of the kiss already and had to mentally curse himself for acting like some prepubescent teenager. 

He wondered if he’ll ever see the boy again and then he remembered they go to the same college and studied in the education department. Making a mental note to forever embed that in his head. He laughed to himself was when it eventually dawned on him. 

He didn’t know the stranger’s name. 

Chapter Text

Back to the normal routine of waking up, checking his phone and going to take a shower all while listening to his parents have a screaming match downstairs at nine in the morning. It had always been like that for as long as he could remember, every couple days his house would be filled with disgustingly horrid verbal and sometimes physical fights.

Just his dad pouring out insults and jabbing regrets her way while she kept saying her life was ruined because of him and she would threaten to expose his mistresses to the world which would follow suit with his dad calling her names and stabbing her at her appearance.

Suguru learned how to tune it out but at the same time stay well aware of any change of noise or sounds, because it not only happened once when they screamed at each other and suddenly a loud thud could be heard or even glass shattering that he had to jump to his feet to make sure his mother was okay.

Looking at himself in the mirror and tying his black hair into a bun, he checked his bag and phone one last time before walking down the stairs. Seeing his mom in the kitchen while his dad adjusted his tie in the mirror next to the front door, the two housekeepers with their heads down, waiting for the man of the house to leave.

“Don’t make dinner for me tonight.” His dad noted and took his briefcase before heading out. He could hear a sigh come from his mother and walked towards her, seeing a tear stain on her cheek.

He wanted to protect her but at the same time, he knew she resented Suguru a lot. Oftentimes would accidentally spill out the regret of being pregnant or how her life would be better if Suguru wasn’t there. It used to hurt him but he managed to be numb to the feeling. It was almost every day that he would tell her to leave him but she was a stubborn woman by nature.

“Mom.” She shot him a smile, the fakest one she could muster and touched his cheek. Telling her over and over again to leave the man would be anything but useful, giving her advice would be no use so he left it at that. Telling her exactly what he wanted to say with just his eyes. “I’ll be going now.”

She squeezed his hand and watched him leave the house. 

Two classes went by just like that and he had a two hour gap until his next class so both him and Shoko decided to spend time together on campus. She skipped towards Suguru who waited for her class to end with a bag of two bento boxes in her hand.

It was finally Monday, three days after the whole party and he would be lying if he said he hoped he’d see the boy on campus after that but decided it was for the best if they never crossed paths again.

Good things don’t last long anyways. That was what his life appeared to be anyway.

He was foolish to think that for once in his life something good would come out of it. He felt silly waiting for the boy to just randomly show up and maybe for some magical reason they’d go back to the bathroom again to run away from everything. 

He wanted to see those blue eyes again, wanted to feel his touch on his cheeks again. He wanted to hear his smooth voice again. How absurd of him to think that would ever happen.

The world that Suguru knows works in such a menacing way. 

It will give you everything and then steal it right back, it will show you all the sweet things in life only to replace it with bitter ends in the future. But the world works in surprising ways too, ways that show light in darkness to put it lightly. 

The world was giving Suguru a chance to be happy for once because as soon as he and Shoko reached a bench at the campus park, he spotted him. The boy was wearing just a normal white tee under a black jacket that hung on one shoulder and black slacks. The same round black sunglasses decorating his beautiful face and the same smile that made Suguru’s heart skip a beat.

It was him.

What was Suguru supposed to do? Now that he was right there in front of him, how was he supposed to proceed? Walk up to him and say hi or stare at him long enough he feels the need to turn around and lay eyes on Suguru?

“Geto?” Shoko’s voice pulled him out as he turned to face her. “Are you not hungry?” He gave a half smile and took the bento from her hands and opened it. Failing to realize how his hands were shaking. 

Shoko furrowed her brows and shot a look at the white haired boy, frowning as she got up. “Who is that?” Suguru flushed red, the burning sensation on his cheeks making his hands shake even more and that was all Shoko needed as she started to walk towards the boy. “Did he bother you?”

Suguru hastily pulled her back. “What are you doing?” The bento box was gripped tighter in his right hand as his left was on her shoulder. “It’s not like that. He’s-”

On cue, a girl with pale blue hair walked up towards the boy and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The whole world stopped. Suguru couldn’t peel his eyes away from what he just saw and Shoko noticed that, dropping whatever she was about to do and turned to face Suguru instead. 

If she was calling his name, he wasn’t listening. His eyes were glued to the scene he was witnessing, the girl getting pulled in closer with the boy. His hands reached to pinch her cheeks and they both were smiling at each other. 

Suguru couldn’t be there, he thought he might lose his mind if he did. He faced Shoko, pulling her back to her seat and packing her food. “I think we should go eat somewhere else.” He sounded like he was whispering but she just hummed and kept her bento box as they both left. 

After they settled at another place on campus, he sat down on the bench and sighed deeply. Shoko was staring at him from the side. “What happened back there?” 

“I met him at the party.” Was all he said and she didn’t push him further, just nodding her head in understanding. Suguru laughed to himself, of course he had a girlfriend. 

He was good looking and kind and funny. He had the best time with him at the party, which made him think he was somewhat special to receive that kind of attention in the first place.

Guess not. 

Just like that they dropped the subject and she continued talking about something else like her progress with her assignments and how she was looking forward to more parties, making the black haired boy wince. 

No more parties for Geto Suguru.

His last class ended and he was on his way to his car in the parking lot. Feeling like he needed a nice long run that night to wash away all the emotions he was feeling. Walking towards his black car, he heard Shoko call out to him and he turned. 

“Drive safe.” She said, waving him off after informing him about her whereabouts later at night just to ease his mind and let him know. Suguru had told her before that she needed to tell him where she was and send her location if she were to go out of campus. 

He smiled as he waved her off and watched as her figure was out of his sight before getting in his car and starting the engine. He untied his hair that was in a bun and blasted the aircon, slumping back in his chair. 

Today was a different feeling. He finally found the boy he was looking for all this time but learnt he was taken. Was it a fresh relationship in a span of a couple days? Was he already dating her when they shared the tipsy kiss in the bathroom? He covered his face with his hands and grunted loudly in the comfort and loneliness that was his car.

When he arrived home, he saw his mother asleep in her room and sighed with relief. At least she was on the bed and not passed out in the living room like last time. The sight of his mother sprawled out with a whole bottle of alcohol next to her body was a sight he wanted to forget for the rest of his life. 

His father obviously didn’t care. Bringing her to the hospital and bribing the doctors to keep it hush so word wouldn’t spread out. To the public eye, he was a loving husband who had a beautiful wife and a son who would eventually take his place in the business. That was the mask they wore outside but the inside was always an eyesore.

He placed a glass of water on her nightstand and kissed her forehead before taking a shower and slipped into a tank top and sweatpants. Putting on headphones, he left the house for a run after nodding at his security who saw him off. Suguru loved going for a run at night after the streets were quiet and the cold breeze would sweep him into a state of content. 

It all started when the sons of a director would brag about going to the gym and get jacked, calling Suguru skinny which he did not like and it began from there. He would work out and try to prove to them that he could look like that, he could look bigger and more toned . It was always like that in his world. 

A competition. It was forever a competition to see which son was the best, the fastest and strongest. Which would be the smartest and if they were any less than what they were expected to be, they’d be ridiculed and their family would be the laughing stock. Growing up, Suguru always had to be the best in everything. Grades and physique were the top two that he needed to excel at. 

He was just a trophy to his father, a thing to brag about. 

Finding a bench near a park, he sat down and breathed heavily. Uncapping the bottled water and downed every last drop until there was nothing left. What was once a full bottle of water was now filled with emptiness that could be refilled at any time but usually people would much rather throw it away. That was how he saw life. It sucks out everything you are until you become this hollow piece of nothingness and you get thrown away, a vicious cycle.

The next day was the same as any other day. He went to class and went back home after hanging out with Shoko and getting her whereabouts. He placed his car keys on the table and was met by silence. He assumed his mother was asleep or in her room so he walked to his room and took a shower.

Wiping his wet hair and looking at himself in the mirror, he could see himself losing weight no matter how hard he jogged and worked out. He made a mental note to work harder later and jog further without stopping and also to hit the gym more frequently. 

Putting on his tank top for another night jog, he heard a loud thud coming from downstairs and as fast as his legs could move, he ran to the stairs and saw a chair being tipped over and his mom on the floor.

His father stood over her, staring her down. Suguru ran towards her and held her shoulders, seeing that she was holding back her tears. “That should teach you to respect me, woman.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He voiced out. Trying to help his mom get back up on her two feet. “Why don’t you have some fucking respect for your wife?” The older man very clearly did not like that one bit and it was made clear when a full slap collided across his cheek. 

His mother protested and held his dad back. “Stop it, you two!” She screamed out. “Suguru, I was just clumsy. Fell off the chair.”

Suguru looked at his mom in disbelief and bit back his tongue from saying anything further. His cheek was burning, it was going to bruise since his dad was wearing a thick ring on his middle finger.  

His dad huffed and loosened his tie before walking up the stairs and slammed the door shut. “Mom. I really don’t want to repeat myself.”

She held his cheek and he winced at the contact. “I know.”

One of the housekeepers came rushing to her madam’s aid, pulling up the chair for her to sit down. His mother sighed and thanked her before sitting down, waiting for her husband to come down and leave the house again. Something he does best.

It took almost half an hour for his father to come down and stare daggers at her one last time before he left the house, the sound of the car could be heard until it couldn’t and his mother finally relaxed her shoulders and stopped clenching her jaw. 

“Go for your run.” She said, holding his cheek and giving him a peck before walking up the stairs. He wanted to call out to her, of course he did, he was worried but he knew better than to not push it too much with her because the stress will do more damage so he could only trust that she wouldn’t do anything and leave it at that. 

When he said he wanted to push himself harder, he meant it. Instead of running just around the neighbourhood to the park, he went further into the city. He couldn’t stop his legs, he feared if he stopped then it meant he had given up. He needed to keep running, from his family and from his own very messed up reality. If he could run to the edge of the world, he would in a heartbeat. 

You are strong.

He widened his eyes at the sudden voice that crept into his mind. He huffed his breath and tried to ignore it, picking up the pace. The city was quiet for the most part, there were a couple people still walking home from work or some people, like him, who went out for a nightly run. 

Increasing the volume of his music, he continued running when he reached an apartment complex. Knowing this would be the perfect place to stop and go back home, he’s been running long enough. He held his knees as he leaned forward trying to catch his breath and wiped his forehead with the towel around his neck. 

Suguru couldn’t help but laugh at himself. Since when was he this pitiful? 

One hit and he would retract back into his shell. That’s how it’s always been and he hated it. He hated acting like they were the perfect family and to show all these other rich businessmen that he was better than them. He knew he could never be better than them and he had accepted it.

He was simply not good enough.

After taking a long warm shower, he jumped on his bed and tried to close his eyes. Tomorrow was going to be a new day.

❀

“Geto. Are you listening?” 

He turned to look at Shoko who was snapping her fingers to catch his attention. “I’m sorry what?”

She huffed. “They’re inviting us to go out for a barbeque tonight since it’s a friday. You wanna come?” Suguru grimaced. “Haibara invited the group and some other friends. We haven’t been hanging out lately. I miss you, jerk.”

Suguru felt a pang in his chest. That hit him hard and when Shoko gave him those eyes he couldn’t say no so he nodded his head earning a wide grin and tight hug from his best friend. “I’ll text you the address.”

It wasn’t long before night came and Suguru checked his phone to confirm the address of the restaurant. Shoko had texted him a couple minutes ago that she had arrived with Utahime and Haibara and were waiting for him and a couple more people. 

He took a deep breath and entered the restaurant, instantly greeted by Haibara who waved his arms in the sky with that disgustingly wide grin of his that lit up any room he was in.

“Geto!” He gave a half smile and went to sit next to Shoko. “We’re just waiting for Nanami and another friend.”

They waited a couple minutes before Haibara spotted the two boys walking through the door. Waving his hands again. “Nanami! Gojo!” Shoko’s eyes darted towards the two people and instantly her expression faded into something menacing.

Suguru lifted an eyebrow and turned back only to have his jaw dropped to the ground. He felt his whole heart just descended to the floor and made a huge splattering mess. His breath caught in his throat as his head started spinning.

Standing there was the white haired boy in all his beautiful tall glory next to Nanami. Wearing a black long sleeved shirt and black slacks. Suguru couldn’t believe what was happening. All he could do was stare with his mouth gaped.

The second his eyes landed on Suguru, he lifted an eyebrow which quickly turned into a smirk. The same smirk he saw in the bathroom at this very first college party. Shoko squinted her eyes and looked back and forth at the two boys trying to piece the puzzle and looked like she got a hint of what went down and instead of side eyeing the boy, she bit her lower lip to suppress a laugh.

“Hey, rich boy.”

Suguru was fucked. He was so fucked.

Chapter Text

To say the night turned super awkward was an understatement. The second the boy sat down opposite of him, Suguru strengthened every fibre in his body to try and hide his flushed cheeks. Keyword, tried to.

“You two know each other?” Utahime asked, sipping on her coke. 

The white haired boy nodded with that playful smile he always had on his smug face. “A little bit.” Nanami lifted an eyebrow and glanced at Haibara, giving the boy a knowing look. “Met at Hakari’s party the other day.”

At the mention of the party, he could feel Shoko shift next to him as she leaned closer, resting her chin on her intertwined fingers. He wanted to bury himself, dig the deepest hole and just lay there, no food and no water just let him rot in his shame. At least that would be less embarrassing than the predicament he was in.

“Party you say.” She pushed on and Suguru poked her on her thigh but that only made her tease him more. “So he did bother you at the party.”

The boy whose name was apparently Satoru laughed as he crossed his arms. Stealing glances at Suguru and he just wanted to get up and leave, splash some water on his face because he must be dreaming. “You talked about me?”

He was quick to react. “No.”

“Oh?” She said, now giving him the evil eyes. “I’m glad we finally met. I’m Shoko, his best friend. Shoko Ieri” Extending her arm for a handshake. 

Yup. Suguru was never going to show his face ever again.

“Gojo Satoru. Nice to meet you.” 

Utahime nudged Nanami and the boy shot him a smile, carrying on with their night. They ordered a bunch of different meats and side dishes and beer. It soon turned pretty neutral once everybody stopped teasing Suguru of having different friends and how of all people he met Gojo Satoru.

Occasionally he caught the white haired boy staring at him which made his ears burn but he could blame that on the beer, he caught the boy looking at him and smiling while everybody else was lost in their own conversation. 

❀

After two glasses of beer he knew he needed fresh air. The taste of beer really lingered in his mouth, he made a mental note to never drink beer because it was straight up nasty. As much as he loved his friends and being around them, they were heavy drinkers and the more they kept refilling their drinks, the louder they got.

Stepping outside in the cool night breeze, he leaned against the wall of the restaurant and exhaled. Closing his eyes for a second he felt a shuffle next to him and when he took a peep, he almost jumped. 

Satoru was standing there, digging through his pants pockets before finally fishing out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. Suguru declined when offered one. Taking a puff and two, the boys stood there in silence. The smell of cigarettes filled his nose and usually he would grimace and tell the person to not smoke too close to him but it felt different. The air around them felt somewhat comforting. 

Even with the horrid scent.

“You know.” He started off. “I want to think this is a really messed up beautiful coincidence that my friends are friends with your friends but we never got to meet each other sooner.” Satoru continued. “Maybe reality isn’t so bad. Maybe the world was trying to set it up perfectly so that we would meet in a small bathroom at a rancid college party.”

Suguru fought back the urge to smile, biting the inside of his cheek to calm himself down. He had missed the boy’s voice but never realized how much he did until he heard it again blabbering away. Just the way his voice laced with confidence made Suguru weak in the knees and the sarcastic tone that was infused as the cherry on top.

“Geto Suguru.” Even his name coming from his mouth sounded like the most beautiful melody. “Rich boy Geto Suguru.”

He finally turned his head to face the boy. “And you’re Gojo Satoru.”

“I finally can put a name to a face.” He was sure he was blushing and there was no way in hell he could try and conceal it, acting like the prepubescent teenager again. “You got a pretty name.” Now he knew for a fact he was blushing, his cheeks and ears burned on his head. 

Suguru scoffed. Just like that, Satoru burst out laughing and Suguru too finally let out a breathy laugh. 

He has a girlfriend, stupid. Don’t you remember?

There comes that big headache again. A voice in the back of his head reminded him of what he didn’t have and couldn’t have. “I’m going back inside.” 

As he pushed himself off the wall to head back in, a similar feeling of a tug on his shirt could be felt and on instinct he turned around. “What are you doing tomorrow?” Suguru shot him a confused look. “I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, watch a movie?”

He. Has. A. Girlfriend. Suguru.

Don’t drag yourself into unnecessary drama.

“Give me your phone.” Satoru scrambled to fish out his phone and handed it to Suguru after unlocking it, giving the boy time to type in. “Call me next time and ask me again.”

Satoru’s face just dissolved in this state of giddy and relief, Suguru didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the urge to just pull him into another kiss. Sober this time. He finally walked back inside along with Satoru behind him and saw the rest of them conversing with each other. 

“Better not be talking shit about me.” He stated.

Utahime teased a pout and rested her elbow on his shoulder. “But talking shit about you is so fun. There’s just so much to talk about.”

“Spill everything. I wanna know all his dirty secrets.” Shoko added, getting a high five from Utahime. 

Haibara tapped his chin, thinking of something to expose. Suguru lifted the glass to his lips and stole a glance at Satoru who was protesting them, waving his hand in front of Haibara and trying to get Utahime’s hand off him. 

Satoru had his hands on Utahime’s cheeks, probing her to admit she was an idiot sandwich with Nanami prying the boy’s hands off her. “Say it, Hime! Say you’re an idiot sandwich!” It was chaos, but it was a good kind of chaos. A chaos that made him smile and join in on the fun that was Satoru’s protests and the laughter that surrounded the table. 

Suguru hated noise, that was an established fact but something about Satoru’s thunderous charisma and shining smile appeared to be more of an ease than he’d like to admit. He could listen to his voice for hours and he would be able to tomorrow. 

He had to drink to that. 

❀

“Good God, Geto. Why did you drink so much?” Shoko complained, trying to hold her friend up. “He drove here so I’m just going to drive him back home and I’ll call an Uber.”

Nanami glanced at Satoru and lifted an eyebrow. “Shoko. I’ll do it. I’ll drive him back and then call a cab. You’re a girl, you shouldn’t be alone like that, especially at night.” Shoko hummed, brushing Suguru’s bangs out his face. “You came here with Utahime right? Both you girls should go back together.”

The girl looked at Suguru, who gave her a half smile. “I’ll be fine, Sho. You have my location so you’ll know if he’s gonna kidnap me.”

She grimaced. “Better not. The ransom money would be astronomical.”

Satoru chuckled and lifted his arms up in surrender. She handed the drunk Suguru to the boy and they all said their last goodbyes before leaving the two boys alone in the street. They finally settled in the car and Suguru just wanted to close his eyes and sleep the headache away.

“I’ll point to where you gotta turn and all. For now just go straight for five minutes.” Satoru nodded and they were off to Suguru’s house. 

It wasn’t awkward per say but the drive for the first couple minutes was indeed silent except for Satoru sometimes humming or tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He was about to pull all his hair out because the boy he had been wanting to find and had this whole scenario of them being friends and hanging out, was literally right next to him but Suguru couldn't utter simple words to start a conversation.

“So.” He glanced at Satoru who spoke up first. Thank God. “How have you been?”

Suguru scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t say I’ve been better but I’m okay.” He fiddled with his fingers and bit the inside of his cheek. “You?”

“Same old, same old. Although, I did meet someone very cute today so that’s news.” He rolled his eyes. “This person is very nice but they’re kind of drunk right now so I don’t know if they know I’m talking about them which means I can say any stupid thing without consenquences.”

He didn’t know if it was the alcohol talking or his mind just really needed a whole cleansing but he started to feel frustrated. He tried to stay calm all night during the dinner but now it was just the two of them, it was a different story. “Is this also the person you asked on a date for tomorrow? Turn left and then keep left.”

“A date, you say?” Satoru suppressed a smile. “They’re very mysterious, instead of saying a yes or no they told me to give them a call. A very presumptuous fellow, he is.”

Now he was really annoyed. “Are you being for real right now?” He didn’t mean to sound so cold but it came out harsher than he liked it to be. It must’ve worked because Satoru’s smile faded. “You say stuff like that with a straight face. What if your girlfriend found out you’re saying this to literally anybody?”

Satoru shot him a confused look and tilted his head to the side. “What are you talking about?”

“Your girlfriend? Hello?”

It was obvious how bewildered Satoru was but it didn’t stop Suguru from shooting arrows with his stare. “Yes hello. What girlfriend are you talking about?”  

Now it was Suguru’s turn to be confused. Why was he acting like he didn’t have a girlfriend when he literally witnessed it first hand and if Shoko was there, she’d back him up. “The girl who kissed you on campus and you had your hands all over her and you two were smiling?”

It took a couple beats before Satoru started bursting out in laughter. “This is priceless. Oh my God!” Suguru frowned and crossed his arms. “That’s not-” But before he could finish, he let out even more laughter and Suguru really couldn’t hide his flushed cheeks now.

“What’s so funny, cheater?”

Satoru stopped at a red light and faced Suguru. “Rude. I’m not a cheater. She’s not my girlfriend and are you saying you saw me on campus?”

What?

“I don’t have one. I would like to be in a relationship but unfortunately I am unable to because of both my ravishing good looks as well as super high standards. It makes people feel very inferior.” 

What.

“Geto Suguru.” He called out his name like he was a herald at a royal ball. “I, Gojo Satoru, the most good looking man on campus, am single.” Suguru wanted to run to a desert and bury himself under all that sand and let his body rot away. “Her name is Mei Mei, she’s older than me and she does that PDA stuff when she wants money and I go along with it because it’s funny.”

Yup. Let the whole world swallow him whole right this instant.

He was so embarrassed, his ears were burning and he could literally feel the heat radiating from it so much he touched it and swore he heard a sizzle. “Turn right into the neighbourhood and my house is number 24.” Was all he could muster to say. “So you don’t say that to literally anybody?”

Satoru shook his head. “No, I don’t.” 

After waving to one security that it was him and the gate opened, he went back in his little cocoon of shame. Turning his body to face the window and hugging himself due to the humiliation, muttering curses. He made a mental note to never drink alcohol ever again, he was officially traumatised. The last 10 seconds of the ride was silent other than Satoru’s on and off giggling to himself. 

The car came to a stop minutes later and neither one of them moved. 

Satoru chuckled before tugging on Suguru’s shirt again. “We’re here.” His voice sounded all proud. “So, what color are you wearing tomorrow for our date ?” He teased.

He grunted. “I don’t wanna go anymore. I made up my mind.”

“But why?” Even the sound of him whining was enough to drive Suguru crazy and cave in but he couldn’t let the man win. “I promise whatever happened in this car today will stay in the car. Scouts promise!” Putting three fingers up.

Tugging his shirt even more, Suguru finally gave in and turned around. Sighing deeply with his brows knitted before nodding his head slightly. “Call me.” Satoru beamed. “Ask me again.”

“Of course.”

“And this conversation ends here.” Both of them agreed and soon Satoru stopped the car engine before unbuckling his seatbelt and taking his phone out to order a cab. After everything that happened, besides the endless times he had embarrassed himself that night, Suguru didn’t want the night to end. 

His mind went back to the party and the same wave of feelings washed over him. He wanted to stay here forever. Satoru kept his phone after ordering the cab and closed his eyes and the two boys sat there in silence yet again.

Suguru couldn’t help but stare. 

Satoru was good looking, that much wasn’t even debatable. His features were delicate and beautiful. His hair still smelled the same floral scent and looked soft just like he remembered. Studying the boy’s face, he couldn’t help but trail his eyes at every nook and cranny down to his chest, every strand of hair on him and every line on his lips. God really took time with this man, he looked like a sculpture that came alive. 

“You’re gonna pierce a hole in my face with the way you’re staring at me, Geto.” He peeped one eye open and gave a little smirk. “I’m glad I came out today.” 

He felt the same.

“Geto.” There he goes, saying his name again and he couldn’t help but savour how it sounded like rolling off his tongue. “Can I kiss you again?” His cheeks were now almost numb since he’s been blushing non stop by now.

What was the worst that could happen? It wasn’t like they didn’t already skip that part of developing their blossoming relationship before. Suguru unbuckled his own seatbelt and it was enough reason for Satoru to lean his head in closer and cup the boy’s left cheek before pressing his lips onto Suguru softly. 

He angled his head better and softened into the gentle touch. He opened his mouth slightly and Satoru was quick to insert his tongue, he tasted like alcohol and cigarettes and the feeling of it all made Suguru dizzy in a good way.

Pulling back a bit before crashing their lips again, inhaling and taking pleasure in every sensation and feeling that showered all over him. From the hair sticking up from his arm to the beat of his heart drumming on his chest. He wanted this so bad, it was all he could think about ever since that night. The feeling of Satoru’s lips and how it just fit perfectly into his. The way he touched Suguru carefully like he was a fragile thing, his big and rough hands roaming his body.

It made Suguru feel special. It made him feel like he was escaping reality again. 

Satoru shifted the car seat backwards, pulling Suguru lightly onto his lap. He repositioned himself onto Satoru, just two big men in this small car that they could hardly fit in, on top of each other. 

He pushed Suguru’s bangs out of his face and tilted his head again. The sounds they were making were captivating, music to his ears. How Satoru would say his name in between kisses and whispering in his ear. It gave him goosebumps, making him squirm. He kissed Suguru’s cheek and then went back to capture his lips.

The white haired boy then moved his hands to touch the skin of Suguru’s waist, trailing his fingertips on every fold and line of Suguru’s abdomen. “You’re beautiful, Geto.” He whispered in his ear again.

Suguru chuckled, unable to control the smile that came next, which was Satoru’s turn to blush. “You’re not so bad yourself.” The two boys laughed, foreheads resting against each other. His fingers still touching Suguru’s bare skin all while Suguru had his hands on the other’s face, drawing circles on his cheeks. 

Their little moment was ruined when a knock on the window caught them off guard and Suguru quickly hid in Satoru’s chest.

“Young master? Are you in there?”

He never really thanked God but he thanked every God he knew because the car windows were tinted the darkest shade of black. He glanced at Satoru’s watch and saw it was that time when the security were supposed to be doing their rounds, he wanted to bury himself and die again. 

With a stutter, he answered. “Yes Mr.Kim.”

“Oh. Alright. Have a good night, young master.” A beat skip later he could finally breathe after Mr.Kim said he was going to continue his rounds and inform his father. He could finally let out a sigh of relief. 

Satoru, who was holding in a laugh, finally let it out, burying his face in Suguru’s shoulder. “Not funny. What if we got caught?” 

“Then it would’ve been one hell of a story.” He chuckled. 

Suguru huffed and right on time, the cab arrived to take Satoru home. The two boys got out of the car and dusted off their clothes before waving goodbye. Suguru cleared his throat, catching the other boy’s attention who was mid entering the cab. 

“Suguru.” 

“What was that?”

“You can call me Suguru.”

The white haired boy smiled and nodded his head. “Goodnight, Suguru.”

Chapter Text

The date went by very well if Suguru were to put it lightly. It actually exceeded every single anxious expectation for him. It wasn’t uncomfortable at all. Not how Satoru was treating him. It felt like they knew each other forever by the way they had their little banter here and there or when they went to the arcade before the movie started. 

Satoru gave Suguru some wins only to completely obliterate him in the next game. It felt easy. It felt comfortable. He wanted to always feel like this everyday. That being said, they were the loudest at the arcade, receiving glares and stares from other people and usually Suguru would hide away and walk out of a scene like that but something about how Satoru made those weird noises with his mouth when shooting a zombie or the protests when Suguru made a shot in the basketball game made him feel warm and giddy.

When the white haired boy gave him a call in the afternoon to ask if he would be up for the date, Suguru failed to hide his excitement and answered a bit too quickly after waiting for hours for the call to come since morning, jumping out of bed to look himself in the mirror and give a little victory fist pump. Immediately after he finally said yes, he heard a couple of stones being tossed at his  window and started laughing when he saw Satoru already there with his two security guards trying to hold him back, telling him he shouldn’t be there only for Satoru to completely ignore them and just wave at Suguru.

The two boys watched their action movie which wasn’t so bad in Suguru’s opinion but he would be dishonest to say he was paying the slightest attention to the movie when Satoru was next to him, shoulder bumping into him occasionally when he reached for the drink or popcorn. If someone were to quiz Suguru about what was happening on the big screen, he wouldn’t be able to answer. 

The color of the shirt the actor was wearing? Nope, not a clue. 

The plot of the movie? There was a plot ?

Satoru laughed when something funny appeared on the screen and muttered under his breath when the protagonist did something he didn’t agree with. It was very much a sight to see. “You’re drilling holes again, Suguru.”

He blushed and turned his head to face the screen, relieved that the room was dark because he was indeed blushing way too hard. 

He heard the boy chuckle and then felt warm fingertips graze his very own cold fingers on the armrest. Soon, their fingers were intertwined and he tried to steady himself and try to avoid getting his palms too sweaty because that would be embarrassing but even when his palms were starting to get moist, Satoru still held on. 

The next couple days were the usual. Suguru went to classes and hung out with Shoko during their gap between classes or he would join Satoru along with Nanami and the rest at the cafe. It was evening when she suddenly told him she had a date that night and that’s how Suguru ended up in her dorm room, helping her choose her date outfit.

Sipping on the hot chocolate she made beforehand, he waited for her on her bed while she tried on clothes in the bathroom. “Geto. I’m stressed out.” Her voice booming from the bathroom. “None of these look good.”

Suguru clicked his tongue and walked towards the door, leaning on the wall. She was playing around with the turtle neck and had three different jackets behind the door to try on. “Wear the white one.”

Shoko obliged and took the seaweed colored one off to try on the plain white jacket. It had been like this since high school when she had a date, Suguru would always be there to make sure she looked good and felt good because if there was a fact about Shoko it would be that she has zero sense of fashion and thinks turtlenecks and a jacket is peak style but that’s what he adored about her. 

While turning to check herself out in the mirror she smiled and glanced at the boy. “How was your date by the way?”

He shrugged. “It was not a date but he’s fun. He’s so noisy and is such a handful but I found myself having more fun than expected.” Recollecting the whole date made Suguru’s heart race and had to clench his jaw from displaying a smile. 

“I bet.” She snickered. “So you’re gonna make it official or what?” 

Suguru shook his head and held her jacket sleeve to uncrumple it. “We’re taking it slow.” She scoffed and glared at him. “What?”

“You both already moved past the talking and going on dates phase and went straight to full on making out in the bathroom and you’re talking about taking things slow .”

He knew he shouldn’t have told her but she insisted he explained and like a good friend he was, he spilled everything. She stayed quiet for the most of it except smirking and the usual laughing when he explained his flushed cheeks the whole car ride. “It’s complicated.” Shoko hummed. “Besides, I don’t know if he’s ready or if he likes me and I don’t wanna ask.”

“Are you crazy!” She cried out. Folding her arms on her chest and giving him the stare. “Geto Suguru, have you seen the way he looks at you? Have you realized the way you look at him ? It makes me wanna puke but you’re my friend so I’m happy for you.” He rolled his eyes. “I get it though. I just hope you know what you’re doing.” She looked at her watch and widened her eyes at the time. “Shit! Utahime’s coming over in half an hour and I haven’t done my hair yet. Help me, Geto!” 

The second he stepped in his house, he was greeted by the sight of his uncles and aunts on the couch with his father smoking cigars. “There he is! Hello, darling you’ve grown so much!” His aunt rose up and went over to give him a hug. 

He gave a fake smile before his mother emerged from the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey in her hand. “Welcome home, baby.” He just gave her a nod to acknowledge his mother, not feeling the need to say or do anything further. “Would you like the housekeepers to bring food to your room?”

“No need for that. I’m not hungry.”

Now, he didn’t mind uncles and aunts visiting but he especially despised it when it was uncles and aunts from his father’s side. They were anything but nice, they would constantly insult and mock her. Telling her that she’s a bad mother and she should know her place. 

His mother wasn’t like them growing up. She came from a poor family, her mother being the house maid for years and when both his parents were teens, they started sleeping around together until one day they ended up pregnant and thus, Suguru was born. The unlucky child was soon introduced to the world as some would say. 

A cursed child.

Truth is, he doesn’t think his father for one second of his life, loved his mother. They got married because she got pregnant and he could never for the life of him remember his father doing one nice thing for her in private. Of course in public was a different thing because he had to live behind this mask of picture perfect in front of everyone else but all Suguru could remember was the amount of tears and cries and screaming throughout his life living in fear, hiding behind beds and covering his ears to muffle out the sounds of anger that echoed surrounding the house. 

A loving family with a son who was smart and ready to take over the business that was passed down from his grandfather. The very serious and hardworking husband with the lap dog partner, that was how the world of the rich worked. That’s how it always worked in his eyes, and that was reality and he knew deep down his mother would never leave his father. Not until their pockets ran dry.

“How are studies going?” His uncle asked. 

Suguru shot him a smile. “It’s going well. It is only my first semester so I’m hoping to learn more soon.” 

His uncle laughed and nodded his head. “My son just finished volunteering at some hospital and is now planning to continue with some charity.” His father and the rest chuckled under their breath except for his mom. “Aced all his subjects, sky rocketing to the first position in his whole class but for the life of me, he loves getting into trouble.”

He caught a glimpse of his father gesturing him to his room and he wanted nothing more than to do so. Shooting his mother a smile, he left.

If Suguru could gag, he would’ve done so right there. “Have you heard what the Shins are doing? Their daughter got caught with some grocery store boy when she was set to marry the son of Director Woo in the following year.”

“Kids these days. They never understand the things we do for them.” And that was the end of what he heard before he closed his door and untied his hair.

His aunts and uncles from his father’s side coming down to visit could only mean one thing. 

Company dinner. 

It was a time when all the workers and their families come down to have a huge banquet and listen to how cool his father is, how he runs the place and future plans for the company. All while his wife would be sitting next to him plastering a fake smile and sitting through tons of whispering from the other guests. 

Suguru hated company dinners. It was just another way for his dad to show off his money, power and influence he had in the city and truthfully the only bright side to company dinners is that Shoko would be there since she was the daughter of Director Ieiri from Osaka. 

A knock on the door from one of the housekeepers jolted him out from his daze as she laid out a suit for him on the bed. “The master wants you to wear this specifically for tomorrow. He also would like to know if you would be driving yourself there or if you would like to join the family car.”

Suguru gave her a smile and shook his head. “I’ll drive by myself. What about my mother?” She became silent. “Of course. Thank you Mrs.Yoo.”

❀

The dazzling sight of sequin dresses with glitter and the smell of very expensive perfume and hairspray wafted into his nose. A smell he was used to smelling since he was 7 years old. He smiled at all the employees and bowed to some of them whom he knew were big shots and his father’s friends.

Keep smiling and get through the night, Suguru.

Walking alone towards the bar, he sat down at one stool and let out a breath he failed to realize he was holding for too long. Looking around the room, he tried to find a reason to like the life he  was in. He tried to be grateful for what he had and he knew many people would fight for what he  owned.

Money and influence. That was what people strived for, right? Humanity would throw away all their morals and dignity to sell their soul to the life he had. At least that was what he was taught. Society says eat the rich but at the same time want to be the rich, it’s a whole big joke. 

“Boo!” A hand grabbed onto his shoulders and he chuckled, seeing Shoko standing there looking beautiful in her dark blue dress. “Look at you, mister. Looking all dapper with the red velvet suit.” He had to admit he looked pretty good, he even put on a miniscule amount of eyeliner and some very light lip gloss. A tiny amount of course but it still caught some stares. He sighed as he looked around the room once more. 

Suguru scoffed. “I’m just hoping this all ends soon so I can get out of here.”

“Sure. Because lover boy is waiting to get your tongue shoved down his throat.” 

Suguru gasped and whipped his head so fast. “I’m gonna kill you.” She scoffed. “So how did it go? Did you and Utahime have a good time?”

Soon, everybody was to be seated and dinner was served. A five course meal from the best chef in the country presented beautiful food and as delicious as it was, Suguru couldn’t help but feel eyes on him. He glanced back to see some ladies whispering to each other while snickering and he then turned to his mother. 

“Tune it out. We’re only an hour in.” She commented and Suguru agreed to do just that. “Your father hasn’t even made his big speech yet.”

It was after the third course that his father walked up on stage to make his big speech and Suguru wanted to tune it out. Of course, it started with him thanking his staff and the other big shots for coming down and making the business what it was today. 

Talking about his grandfather’s legacy and mentioned Suguru’s name here and there as the heir of the business once he got his bachelor's degree. Everyone clapped, giving him smiles and encouraging words. He felt a buzz in his pocket and discreetly pulled out his phone. He saw it was a message from Satoru..

Hey sorry to bother you but I’m Toji. Gojo’s drunk out here and started getting rough with some people. He had your number as the most recent call so if you’re not busy can you come and pick him up? I’ll send you the address.

Suguru’s eyes widened and whipped his head up at another mention of his name. Everybody was clapping again and this time he didn’t know why but he needed to get out of there. He sent Shoko a message and when he knew she got it based on how wide her eyes went, he was ready to get up and leave. 

“I promise I’ll come back.”

His mom had fear plastered all over her face. “Suguru-”

He got up from his chair causing the room to be dead silent. He looked at his father who had the look of murder in his eyes before excusing himself out. People started whispering and some were giggling to their partners and their table at how rude Suguru was and how they couldn’t believe he was going to be the next chairman of the company. 

All this fell into deaf ears because all he knew was that Satoru needed his help and that was all it took for him to drop everything. Glancing at Shoko who shot him a small thumbs up, Suguru quickly got in the car and read the address that was given and floored it.

When he reached the site he finally realized what the place was. The bustling sounds and the display of men and women drunk, loitering at the corner with mouths full of cigarettes and hands with bottles of beer. It was a club and Suguru bolted out the car only to be stopped by the bouncer who pointed at the alley where the white haired boy was. He thanked the big scary man and walked towards the direction and saw a tall man with a huge scar on his mouth stand in front of Satoru, seemingly scolding him.

“Geto?” His voice was deep and he motioned to come closer. “I’ll leave him to you now. He’s pretty fucked up and I can’t send him home.”

Suguru nodded and looked at the beaten and bruised boy. “I’ll take him off your hands.” Before he could proceed to lift him up, he turned to Toji. “Thanks for not leaving him alone looking like that.”

The man waved him off and crossed his arms. “No problem. It happens most of the time with him. Tell him to watch out next time and to give me a call once he gets his head straight.”  Just like that, the Toji guy walked back into the club.

❀

After a quick call to Nanami to ask his dorm number and block, Suguru fished out the keys and unlocked the door. Kicking off his shoes before bringing Satoru to the only room with the door slightly ajar. He plopped the boy onto the bed and took his shoes off.

He was sweaty after carrying this tall man up a flight of stairs wearing a velvet suit that he forgot to take off. He sat next to the boy and exhaled a long breath. Studying his face, it was obvious he was in a fight but whether he lost or won was a different case, it was hard to tell. 

He rummaged through his wardrobe and changed the boy’s shirt at least into a plain black shirt before heading to the kitchen to find a first aid kit but to no avail so he moved to the bathroom. Opening the cabinets, he finally found a kit but it had no bandaids so he decided to open the mirror cabinet just in case.

Pill bottles and medicine were filled up behind the mirror with a small packet of bandaids laying next to an empty pill bottle. Feeling like he was intruding too much, he swiftly took the bandaids and closed the mirror, feeling a bit uneasy but shook the feeling off.

When he got back to the room, Satoru was already sitting up with his knees brought to his chest. He seemed a bit sobered up but his hair was disheveled and his eyes were barely open. “Hey.” Suguru said softly.

The boy turned his head and gave the boy a half smile. “My head is killing me.” Suguru walked over to the bed and sat in front of him, opened the first aid kit and started cleaning some wounds. Getting a wince here and there by Satoru but he was mostly quiet. “Fushiguro’s a motherfucker. His body is made out of steel, I tell you.”

“Did you fight him?” 

“I wish.”

Suguru sighed deeply. “Does your hand hurt?”

Satoru shook his head. “It doesn’t. I’m strong, remember?” That was obviously a lie because the second Suguru held his hand, the boy winced and pouted his lips, trying to cover his embarrassment.

Suguru clicked his tongue. “I’ll just clean all these up and then you can go to sleep.” He did everything and when he finally looked up to face the boy, he caught him staring fondly. His eyes half lidded and his mouth turned into a soft smile. “You’re drilling holes in my skull, Satoru.”

“You look good.” He said, touching the fabric of his suit. “I hope you weren’t busy doing rich people stuff in this suit.”  Trailing his fingers from the material of the suit to touching Suguru’s face and rubbing his upper lip. “You’re so fucking pretty.”

He knew better than to do anything with Satoru since he drank but the way he was looking at him at that moment sparked something totally different in him. He pulled his hand away before things escalated into dangerous territory but Satoru wasn’t budging at all. “I’m sobered up. I promise. I want to do this.”

Suguru shook his head. “Some other time. When you’re not totally fucked up.” The other boy pouted, trying to persuade him with puppy eyes and it was just about to work. Those ocean eyes that captivated him since day one, staring into his soul. 

After a couple minutes of not caving in, Satoru huffed and folded his arms. “Fine. But can we still sleep together minus the sexual part?” He patted the other side of the bed.  “Just hold me?”

The black haired boy laughed. “Yeah.” 

Satoru beamed and positioned himself on the bed. Suguru loosened his tie and took his jacket off before chucking it to the side. Kissing in the car and discreetly on campus was different than the dim lights that casted on his face, giving him that soft glow and the fact that they were laying on the same bed with their legs tangled in each other. Satoru brought his finger to trail Suguru’s nose to his lips and chuckled. “I could stay here forever.”

Suguru smiled back. “Forever is a long time, Satoru.” 

“Yeah. I know.” 

Chapter Text

He expected the slaps and the verbal abuse when he got home the next afternoon.

“Do you not realize we have a reputation and a high level of respect we cannot lose? My own son walking out on me when I’m praising him like a fucking idiot on stage! To top it all off with a piss poor rotten cherry, you don’t come home nor do you pick the phone up when we call.”

He clenched his jaw and took the hits as much as he could. His head slowly started to hurt as the throbbing pain from the contact vibrated throughout his skull. “You don’t understand. A friend needed my help.”

“And now you dare talk back to me? Listen to me, Suguru. You will not humiliate me like that ever again. You have a duty to take over the company and the last thing anyone wants is a chairman who has zero respect from his underlings. How are you supposed to be looked up as a boss when you roll yourself all over in dog shit? One more slip up, Geto Suguru. One more slip up and you’re gone. You'll never see your mother and whoever was so important you had to help.”

He wanted to throw up, wanted to just cover his ears and scream into the universe to make it stop. “Send me away then.” His father’s eyes darkened and as he peered to the side, his mother just standing there with her hands crossed to her chest. “You can keep this fucking company because I don’t want it. And you can continue living with your fucking husband for the money too because I’m too fucking exhausted.” He stormed to his room and locked the door, feeling like his legs were about to give out as he slid down and hugged his knees to his chest.

Sighing deeply, he remembered when he woke up in the late morning and saw that the boy wasn’t there next to him. He had been trying to call him for hours now to no answer. Suguru thought the boy was just busy so he left it alone and then his mind started going back to when he saw the amount of medicine in his cabinet, empty pill bottles that weren’t thrown away and he realized how little he knew about the boy. 

A day passed and then two days and three but Satoru was nowhere to be seen and he wasn’t replying to his texts. He hasn’t been seen on campus too which was worrisome. He tried calling Satoru again but it went straight to voicemail so he went over to the next department building to find some answers. 

He caught a glimpse of Nanami and Utahime walking together and stopped them. “Hey guys.”

Utahime smiled and waved at him. “Hey Geto. What are you doing over here?”

“Have you guys heard from Satoru?” Nanami was silent, he had a really good poker face going on but Utahime was easier to read. The little gulp she did with her eyes darting to the side was caught on. “He hasn’t been answering my messages or picking up my calls so I thought you guys knew where he was.”

She frowned. “Gojo is-”

“Gojo does this a lot when he just disappears. As his friends, we’re used to it but it makes sense that you’re worried.” Nanami spoke up instead, cutting her off. “He’s been like this for as long as I can remember, he doesn’t even pick up when we call. He usually comes back after a couple days, though.”

That was a bad attempt at trying to make Suguru feel remotely better but knowing that this was a recurring thing and he was fine kind of eased his mind a little bit. He thanked the two and walked away, missing the way they shared a glance at each other and continued their day.  Three days turned into four when Suguru was awakened by the sound of stones being thrown at his window.

He glanced at the clock and saw it was six in the morning and it was still foggy outside. He got up with his hair in a mess and peeked out the window only to see the white haired standing there with a smile on his face. His very bruised face and beaten face. Suguru grabbed a jacket and ran down the stairs, startling his mother who was reading on the couch and saw Satoru conversing with the security guards under the window of his room. “I’m sorry, young master but he just ran in. We tried to stop him.”

“This is the second time I got past you guys. Maybe it's the old age.” He teased, patting the security on the back. “Hey Suguru.” The boy frowned and motioned the guards to leave them alone. They gave him a bow and walked away. 

After he was sure it was clear, he glanced back to see if anyone was there and when the coast was clear he turned back to glare at Satoru. “Where have you been? You could’ve called me and told me where you were.” No answer. “I asked Nanami and Utahime but they said this was a normal thing. You going awol.”

At the mention of his friend's name, Satoru clenched his jaw but quickly relaxed it after a split second. “I know. They told me you asked but I’m here now.”

Not good enough. “And why do you look like you were hit by a truck?”

“I promise it’s nothing, I just got drunk again and fought some people. I always need a couple days away from everything so I turn off all my devices and turn into a ghost.” Not good enough. “I’m sorry for worrying you. I came here to show you I’m fine and you got your Satoru back!” He smiled with his arms wide open.

Suguru observed the boy’s face, eyes darting towards the black right eye and the busted lip. How his left temple was covered in a bandaid. He wanted to ask but pulled back, it’s not his business. It’s not something he should ask further, he wasn’t going to push.

Not good enough was all he could think about but he casted all that aside and fell into his embrace. Burying his face in Satoru’s chest. All his worries faded away when he heard the boy’s heartbeat hammering in his chest and his steady breathing into his messy hair. 

He got his Satoru back. That’s all that matters. 

Right?

❀

That night he was awakened by the sound of screaming coming from his parents room and bolted out of his room, peeping through the slightly ajar door, seeing his mother standing with a vase in her hands as she was shaking. His father was on the other side of the room, breathing rapidly. He looked down and saw a suitcase filled with clothes, his father’s suitcase.

“Without me, you’re nothing! You have some nerve to get all up in my face and threaten to leave me but where are you going to go? Your sisters? You’ll never survive.”

His mother glared at him and dropped the vase on the floor, shattering the ornament. “I hate you. I hate you so much!” She grabbed her head and yelled. “You’re going to go to another woman’s house and then what? If word of this comes out, what will you think about your reputation? Your respect? Fucking a 25 year old whore.”

His father raised his hand and trudged towards his mother but all Suguru could do was stand still at the doorway. “How dare you threaten me!”

“What about your son? Suguru is your son, what about him!”

Suguru flinched at the mention of his name. “I wish he was never born and I wish you never got pregnant.”

“How could you say that?” 

“If he messes up anytime in his life, I will not hesitate to ship him off to the other side of the world and you will never get to see your son ever again. Do you want that, woman?”

A creak of the door surprised both of them and even Suguru. He stuttered and only then he noticed the state he was in. He wasn’t 19 year old Geto Suguru but nine year old Suguru, a kid. “Mom? Why are you yelling?”

His mother’s eyes radiated pure evil, her eyeballs all black and she had a menacing smile. Her face covered in sweat as she reached the floor and picked up a shard of glass from the broken vase and lunged at her son. The sound of his housekeeper shouting his name, pulling him back from his mother’s pounce. His father held his wife back and ordered her to stop. He yelled out for Mr.Kim from security to come get Suguru and he did.

He ran into the room and picked up Suguru from the embrace of the housekeeper before bolting downstairs, holding his head secure to his chest.

“Give me my son!” Could be heard booming throughout the whole house as the little boy buried his face in Mr.Kim’s chest. The voice of his mother calling out his name became louder and louder like it was chasing him. Suguru covered his ears and yelled for it to stop. 

His voice cracked at the adrenaline and fear that resonated through his tiny body. “Mom. Please stop.”

“Suguru!”

❀

He opened his eyes and tried to calm his nerves as he scanned the room he was in. After realizing he was in his own bedroom at two in the morning, he sat up from his bed and felt the sweat dripping down his forehead and sighed. 

The nightmare.

He hasn’t had one since he was 17 years old, he thought he had overcome it but obviously it crept back into his life and he was scared. That time of his life was a part where he’d buried it in the back of his mind forever but it managed to slip away and haunt him once more.

The memories of that time were fuzzy but he knew she went to therapy shortly after and is still going for years now. They said she was getting better. His mother promised to never hurt him again and swore she was better but sometimes Suguru would catch her relapsing into episodes where she’d throw fits and spew regrets his way. He was used to it by now but it didn’t mean it hurt any less to hear your own mother wish you never existed.

He knew better than to not fully blame his mother but put blame onto his father for pushing her too far and too hard. She loved his father, in her own sick and twisted way. It was only for one thing, money and she knew deep down if Suguru were to take the company, money would never stop flooding. To her, Suguru was the reason why her life ended in a way. To her, Suguru is a cursed child. She didn’t want him, did everything she could to get rid of him but Suguru latched on because he thought he could save her.

She was sick and he wanted to be the one to help her recover but how do you help someone who despises you and wished you were dead in the first place. So much regret in a long time eats someone up inside to the point they go crazy and it ends up deadly. Suguru knew he could’ve died that night if nobody stepped in.

Telling her to leave the man over and over again only for her to be so stubborn, even offering her  money wasn’t enough to persuade her. Deep down, he knew she wanted to stay and that was the wicked side of her. She wanted to suffer and she knew she was pulling him down with her. Be it just the two of them or the whole family.

Suguru couldn’t be alone, being unable to sleep he hoped that someone was awake to distract him. He grabbed his phone and dialed the only number he memorized and it didn’t take three beeps for an answer. 

“Hello.” Even his voice sounded weak.

“Suguru? Why are you awake at this time?” 

He bit his fingertips and tried to hide his shaking voice. “Are you busy” 

A beat passed before Satoru answered again. “No. I just finished playing jenga all by myself and now I’m probably going to make some oatmeal for fun's sake. Are you okay?” Suguru’s heart hammered in his chest and before he could speak again to tell the boy he was fine and he was going back to bed, Satoru quickly beat him to it. “I’m coming over. Give me 20 minutes.”

Just like that, the line got cut and Suguru sat there in silence. He brought his knees to his chest and tucked his head in between them, he noticed he stopped shaking so he walked over to the mirror and tied his hair into a loose ponytail. Not knowing how long he was looking at his own reflection he heard a buzz and checked his phone only to see Satoru already outside his window. 

He peeped out the window and saw Mr.Kim with his hands crossed over his chest, eyeing Satoru while the boy was smiling and patting him on the back.The sight put a huge smile on his face. Suguru popped open the window and chuckled. “Hey. Your guard told me to sneak in through there since it’s a blindspot.”

Suguru shushed the boy and began to climb down the balcony and fell into the embrace of Satoru. 

“Mr.Kim?”

“Not a word to the master.” Was what the old man replied before winking and leaving the two boys be. Satoru suppressed a laugh and held onto Suguru’s hand, pulling him towards where his car was parked.

He didn’t know where they were going but they'd been driving for only 10 minutes, having crossed the bridge that led to the outskirts of the city. Suguru rolled the windows down and let the cold misty air breeze brush his black hair. Satoru never spoke or made jokes; he just simply kept his eyes on the road and drove. 

Not realizing he fell asleep until he felt a tug on his shirt was when he popped his eyes open and saw them at a beach somewhere outside the city. Very outside the city. 

He beamed before opening the car door and walking towards the seaside. He stretched as hard as he could before inhaling the fresh cold air. He whipped his head to face Satoru and his loose ponytail came undone, letting his locks brush on his face. Satoru gave the boy a smile and popped the trunk open for the two boys to sit down in. 

The white haired boy took out some soda and a bottle of whiskey from the back seat and placed it in the trunk along with a small blanket he brought from the dorms. “I can’t remember the last time I could just breathe in fresh air like this.”

“The city is too polluted so it’s good to leave once in a while.” Suguru couldn’t agree more. Sitting his butt down in the open trunk.

Time went by in an instant, Satoru went into some topics to ease Suguru's mind and they fell into a comfortable conversation, and truthfully, it worked. Suguru calmed down and just like it was the first day, their legs were tangled together, two big boys trying to fit themselves in the trunk of a car. It was after what felt like hours when they ran out of things to talk about and they just decided to lay there with Suguru's head resting on his shoulder. 

It felt easy. It felt warm and made his very own heart drum in his chest. It felt like home.

“Is this the place you go to when you disappear ?”

The boy laughed. “One of the places. Wait, let me show you something.” He took the full bottle of whiskey and the small blanket before hopping off the car, taking Suguru’s hand in his and intertwining their fingers. “Trust me, your mind is going to be blown.”

Suguru scoffed but followed anyway, feeling a bit intrigued. They walked on the sandy shore before laying down the blanket cloth to sit on. The nightly breeze whooshing through his whole body, causing him to shiver even after wearing a hoodie with an undershirt. 

He looked at Satoru who was looking at the water before the boy smiled wide, radiating the sun. The light of the moon shining on half his face with his white hair flowing when he looked back.

The man was ethereal and Suguru couldn’t believe he was the one to witness it at the moment.

“You're gonna love it.” Suguru cocked an eyebrow and shot the boy a confused look before Satoru continued. “There’s something special about this beach that I’ve always been wanting to do. Look here.” He lifted the bottle and showed it to Suguru.

The black haired boy was still confused, trying to get the joke or the attraction. “What am I looking at?”

Satoru chuckled. “What do you see?” He shook the bottle. 

“The liquid in the bottle?”

“I mean, yes but look closer.”

Suguru looked at the bottle again, really looking at the bottle when he saw the shape of the moon reflecting off the bottle. “The moon?” Satoru nodded his head, feeling relieved he got it. He then placed the bottle in Suguru’s hand and looked at the sky again.

“There’s a tourist attraction somewhere in Korea where at this certain place and time, you’ll be able to see five moons but I only recently found out, you can see the moons at this very beach too, sort of.” Suguru scoffed and looked back at the bottle. “One moon is of course in the sky, duh.” He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the boy. “The second moon is the moon that reflects the water.” Satoru pointed his finger towards the water and lo and behold, the bright and beautiful reflection of the moon. 

He was totally in awe now, feeling very intrigued by the location of the other moons. “The third moon is at the lake, which we don’t really have here but we’ll just assume for some reason there’s a lake at the beach.” Suguru nodded his head and smiled, head resting on Satoru’s shoulder again. “Fourth moon is this delicious and very new bottle of scotch whiskey.”

There it was, four moons that have been pointed out. Suguru looked around for any other things that could’ve reflected the moon but couldn’t find anything else. Was it the reflection on the car? Reflected on a window? He tried to figure out the last piece of the puzzle. Satoru noticed his turmoil and lifted the boy’s chin with his index finger.

“Now, they say there’s a fifth moon but that moon is always the hardest to find no matter how hard you look for it.”

Suguru smirked. “Why do I have a feeling you've found it.” 

“I did.” He was confused again but laughed it off. “The fifth moon and the very hard to find moon is the moon that is reflected in the eyes of someone you love.” Suguru’s smile faded as his eyes quickly darted to Satoru’s blue eyes and there it was in all its glory. 

The fifth moon.

Suguru couldn’t look away, he was afraid he would lose sight of this special moment even if he did something so natural like blinking his eyes. Satoru too was looking at him, a soft smile playing on his lips with his finger still under Suguru’s chin.  Without missing a beat, Suguru leaned in and gave Satoru a kiss. All his worries from before vanished in an instant, the nightmare all forgotten. All he knew was he had Satoru with him and that was enough.

This man alone was enough. 

Satoru stroked his chin to pull him into a deeper kiss and the two boys slowly descended into their own little escape. They were the only two people left in the world, no one could interrupt them in their moment. Suguru got up to his knees and cupped Satoru’s cheeks, making the boy tilt up instead. 

They pulled away from each other only for Satoru to lift Suguru up and twirl him around the beach. The black haired boy started laughing and held on his shoulders for support. He wrapped his legs around Satoru’s waist and kissed him again. And again and again.

Neither one of them realized how they ended up back in Satoru’s dorm room, struggling to get their shoes off their feet before stumbling to the bedroom. Satoru never once stopped kissing Suguru and Suguru never let go of Satoru’s face.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Satoru said, kissing Suguru’s forehead before caging the boy underneath him. “I’ve never seen anyone this mesmerizing in my life.”

Suguru smiled and propped his body up with his elbows, tilting his head forward to kiss Satoru again and seeing the same sight from the other time dawning upon the very moment. The same dim light, the same faint smell of cigarettes and the look on Satoru’s face when they pulled back to catch their breaths again and oh.

Oh.

So this was what love felt like.

Chapter Text

Suguru was awakened by the sunlight shining on his face, peeking through the windows and the subtle noise of people shuffling outside the dorm. He rubbed his eyes and tried to pry them open, seeing that he was still in Satoru’s room and in his bed.

The memories of the night before suddenly replayed in his mind. He tried to shut his eyes again but then jolted out of bed. Turning to the side, he saw Satoru sleeping soundly, faint colors of purple painted on his collarbone that were exposed, causing him to blush as he recalled the night before. He touched his chest and sighed deeply feeling relieved that he was still there. He woke up and Satoru was still there, thankfully.

He got out of bed to the bathroom, seeing how disheveled he was in the mirror. Laughing to himself when he looked at the art of blue and purple spreading across his neck and collarbone like some confusing art you’d see in a museum. He began washing his face and almost jumped when he felt arms wrapping around his waist, feeling the warm breath as he leaned back to earn another kiss on his neck.

“Good morning.” Satoru lazily said, giving kisses to Suguru’s neck and shoulder. “Are you gonna shower?”

The boy nodded. “I have a class at one so we can go together then.”

Satoru hummed and walked out the bathroom. “There’s extra towels in the cabinet and also a new toothbrush. Knock yourself out to anything in my closet too.” He closed the door and locked it before hearing the sound of cupboards opening and closing as well as clanks of pots and pans outside. 

Crouching down to grab a fresh towel, he glanced at the bin next to the sink and noticed it was full of tissue paper. He searched through the cabinet to find bags of plastic to replace the already packed wastebin and smiled when he found some. He finally took out the crammed plastic bag and was about to tie it when his eyes landed on a peaking orange tube sitting under a bunch of tissues. 

Now, Suguru knew better than to be nosy but something in him felt the need to reach his hand into the bin to grab it. He was about to touch the orange object before a knock on the door made him jump out of his skin. “Are pancakes okay?”

“Perfect!” He answered. He shook his head and just tied the plastic and replaced it before fetching a towel and stepped into the shower.

After a quick shower and some brunch, the two boys walked together into campus and split ways when they reached the crossroad to their own department buildings. Suguru was about to wave goodbye to the boy but not before Satoru pulled the boy in for a quick peck on the cheek, making the black haired boy blush. 

Suguru stood there with his ears flaming and cheeks burning when he felt a nudge from his side. “Looks like someone is happy this morning.” He smiled at Shoko and the two continued walking to their building.

Suguru thanked God that he only had one class that day so he was already free by three and decided to walk over to the education building. He knew the boy’s classes ended at around four and they had planned to spend some time at the campus cafe before Satoru was to send him back home. 

He was about to reach the cafe when he spotted Satoru and Nanami having a very tense conversation. The way Nanami had his eyebrows furrowed and Satoru with his head laying low almost like he was being scolded by the other boy. Suguru was just about to turn and walk away when he heard his name being called by Haibara walking towards him.

“Geto! Going to the cafe?” Suguru bit his lower lip and forced out a smile. “I’m supposed to be meeting Nanami there too, class ended a bit early for them it seems.” 

Haibara slung his arm around Suguru’s shoulders and walked the boy to the table. Satoru finally looked up from staring at the table and for a second, just a split second, Suguru could see a hint of sadness in his blue eyes. 

Nanami gave one last look at Satoru and sent him a telepathic message before walking away with Haibara, leaving the two boys alone. “Did you wait long?” Satoru looked at Suguru again and shook his head. 

The atmosphere shifted for a couple minutes before Satoru started being his usual self again, making jokes but Suguru couldn’t shake the thought of the bottle he saw in the bin as well as the tense conversation he had with Nanami but he didn’t want to be a busybody. 

❀

As quickly as the thoughts crossed his mind, it faded away once Satoru leaned in to give the boy a kiss on the cheek when they reached his house. Suguru sighed deeply, back to reality and back to the house that was covered in pain and misery. 

Satoru held his hand and kissed his knuckles as a goodbye before Suguru kissed him back and exited the car, walking to his front door. He was about to open the big mahogany door when it swung open, revealing the sight of his father standing at the doorway. It made him visibly clench his jaw.

His father eyed him closely and then glared at Satoru, his face twisted in this disgusted look. Then, he saw his mother come into view and she too had this confused plus worrisome look painted on her face. “Suguru. Where have you been? We were worried sick.”

He was about to open his mouth when he heard the sound of a car door closing behind him and witnessed Satoru bowing to his parents. “Good evening, sir and ma’am. My name is Gojo Satoru. It’s my fault Suguru didn’t come home last night, we were at my dorm doing assignments and studying for the upcoming exams.”

Suguru widened his eyes and his eyeballs darted towards the security guards and housekeeper as well as his parents. The white haired boy got up and flashed them a wide smile. “Oh.” Was all his mother said. “Gojo, would you like to come in? I can get the housekeepers to make you some tea and snacks.”

Satoru shook his head and waved his hands in protest. “No, ma’am. I’m just here to drop Suguru off after his classes. I should be heading back now.”

All the while his father was dead silent, still glaring at the boy with his arms crossed. “Stay for dinner.” The world felt like it stopped turning, Suguru almost choked on his saliva and everybody looked so evidently perplexed. “Come in, boy. Mr.Kim, please ensure his car is parked and not blocking my driveway” Just like that, his father walked back in.

He wanted to faint. A dinner invitation didn’t come freely, not in his household. His father had ulterior motives and that scared him the most. Satoru glanced at Suguru and shrugged his shoulders. His mother smiled softly and whispered something to the housekeeper before following her husband.

Satoru handed the keys to the security and exhaled a deep breath. “Suguru.” He snapped out from his thoughts and faced the white haired boy. “It’s going to be fine.”

Holding his hand tightly for a heartbeat, the two boys walked in the house and Suguru hoped for just one time in his life, his father doesn’t chase Satoru away. Not him. Anybody but him.

Dinner was one of the most uncomfortable and tense moments in Suguru’s life. He could feel the nerves radiating and oozing out of Satoru’s body but the boy was really good at hiding how anxious he was. He had no appetite, feeling like he could throw up any second. What was his father plotting? He never invited anyone to have dinner with them before, especially random strangers who he knows nothing about. Always seeing other people as inferior and not good enough, Suguru could feel the panic course through his whole body. 

“So.” His father started, sipping on his water. “What do you do?”

Satoru smiled. “I’m currently in my junior semester. Special education, sir.” His father raised an eyebrow and hummed, his face screaming dissatisfaction.

“I think that’s a wonderful major. You’ll be an admirable teacher.” His mother butted in, her eyes turned into slits as she looked at Satoru. 

Still not impressed, his father took another sip of water. “Interesting choice of a career path indeed. Your parents must be very proud of your accomplishments that they let you do whatever you please.” Suguru squinted at his old man. It was clear as day that the topic disturbed Satoru in one way or another. 

For a moment, Suguru noticed how his smile faded and his eyes transformed into a soulless abyss, a bright blue black hole that was filled with nothingness. Satoru just plastered another smile on his face, trying to avoid looking bothered. 

His father cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. “What are they doing now? Your folks, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

Satoru took a sip of water. “My mom passed away when I was 16 due to cancer and my dad remarried shortly after my 18th birthday and that was my cue to leave too.” This caused the whole table to stop what they were doing and look at the boy. “I haven’t kept in touch with my family for almost two years so I’m unable to answer your question, sir.” 

The whole table went silent, his father stopped cutting his food midway and his mother’s face scribbled with nerves. Suguru bit the inside of his cheeks and realized he really didn’t know anything about the boy. Nothing. He didn’t know what his parents did or why he chose the major  he chose. He never asked how he got to know Nanami or any of his friends. Never asked why he was fighting in the club when Suguru went to pick him up only to disappear the day after without any notice.

“I’m very sorry to hear that, Gojo.”

Satoru shook his head, taking another bite of food like the bomb he dropped wasn’t shocking at all. “It’s not something you should apologise for, ma’am.” He glanced at Suguru, with those eyes and that playful smirk on his face. “I’m just lucky to have friends to fill that hole in my life, you know.”

He wanted to hold Satoru and kiss him right then and there. He didn’t know, how could he? Then, his mind went to the pill bottles in his mirror cabinet and the empty orange tube he spotted in the bin just hours ago. A faint voice telling him that Satoru had many secrets. 

Secrets that would end up changing their lives forever.

❀

He was surrounded by nothing but white walls that seemed to lead down an endless hallway. Suguru began walking, bare feet touching the cold ground while he kept a lookout for anything that was different. Trying to feel a shift in the dimension he was in.

Stumbling upon a big brown door in the middle of the corridor, he lifted his hand to twist the door knob and the second he swung the door open, the cold breeze attacked his body making him shiver and stepped into a totally contrasting sight. 

He was at the beach. 

His feet felt the warm sand in between his toes with the sun blazing down at him. Suguru kept walking, that was all he could do anyway in such a puzzling state. He walked towards the water that seemed so far away and sweat started forming on his forehead before he stopped.

He widened his eyes in shock when he spotted a familiar white haired boy standing at the edge of the water, his feet being washed in the salty sea. 

“Satoru?” He called out to no answer. “Satoru!” 

The white haired boy slowly turned around with tears in his eyes, a soft smile beautifying his face as he lifted his hand to wave at the boy. “Satoru! What are you doing there?”

The white haired boy didn’t answer. He just turned back to the water and started walking. Panic started rising in his chest as he picked up the pace of his feet to reach Satoru. He ran as fast as he could but it felt like he was never going to reach him. No matter how hard he tried.

“Stop! Satoru! Don’t go there!” 

As fast as he ran, the whole scenery began changing and instead of the beach they were at a cliff somewhere Suguru couldn’t figure out. Satoru was walking towards the edge of the cliff and Suguru picked up the speed once more, hyperventilating as he started to feel a stabbing pain on his sides. 

He could finally feel like he was reaching the boy, his arm extended out to pull him back but before he could do that, Satoru looked back and shot the boy one last smile before he jumped. “No!”

❀

“Satoru!” He jolted out of his sleep, feeling the moisture dripping down his forehead onto the pillow and how heavy his body weighed beneath him. 

The same dream for the past three days has been haunting his sleep and everyday it just kept feeling more vivid that scared Suguru to the point he just decided not to sleep so there he was, sitting at his desk trying to study in hopes of distracting his mind from thinking about it.

It had been a full week since the very unpleasant dinner and he had apologised for his parents behalf of not knowing when to keep quiet as they kept on asking questions despite the atmosphere screaming cringe. Satoru was quick to perk up and said it was no big deal. 

Sometimes, Suguru would spot the boy on campus wearing his black shades and could peep a bruise on his cheek. Some days they’d meet up at the cafe and he would show up with his knuckles all bruised, earning a glare from Nanami.

Always receiving glares from Nanami.

A full two months passed by and the semester was over, Suguru nodded at his lecturer wishing them a great semester break and left the class. He walked out of the building and read a text that Shoko was going to go out with Utahime and he told her to stay safe. He then stared at Satoru’s contact on his phone and debated in his mind whether to call the boy or not and truth be told, he hadn’t seen the boy on campus nor received a text or call from him in a full week, he had disappeared again. He swore he left at least 40 missed calls and a bunch of text threads but was replied with nothing. 

Feeling a bit frustrated at the lack of communication they had with each other, Suguru decided to say screw it and head over to the boy’s dorm. The dusk sky of orange and a splash of yellow comforted him, a calming light breeze washing over his whole body. A stark contrast to how his insides were feeling, the inner turmoil he was experiencing. He walked out of the elevator and began walking towards the door. Sighing deeply, he raised his hand to knock only for the door to swing open, revealing a boy. 

Someone who wasn’t Satoru.

“Oh.” He recognised the face and the voice, it was the same guy from the club months ago. “Toji, right?”

The guy named Toji smiled and nodded. “You’re Geto. I remember you.” They both stood there in silence before Suguru’s eyes landed on what Toji was holding. It was a big red gym bag. He noticed the boy staring and chuckled. “Gojo told me to go pick up some clothes for him. Are you looking for him?”

Suguru widened his eyes, not even given a chance to answer before Toji chuckled and walked past the boy after locking the dorm door. 

“You should've come over to the club. He’s there.”

The boy’s heart started racing and he instantly nodded. Satoru was at the club? Was he there the whole week? Why didn’t he pick up the phone? All these questions clouded his mind when he hopped in his car to tail Toji’s black car heading to the club.

The second he arrived, he walked past the bouncer, giving him a nod and squeezed his way in. The club itself was huge with strobe lights and loud music. He was being pushed and shoved by people who were dancing and he swore he felt someone touch his waist when he was walking behind Toji, the smell of cheap perfume and alcohol swirled into the air. Suguru started to feel nauseous but he followed Toji nevertheless to the backroom which had a staircase leading to the basement and started feeling uneasy.

Toji shook hands with the two men guarding the door and walked in once it opened, revealing a whole different part of the building. This time, it was all grey walls with posters and a bunch of people surrounding the small bar and the centre floor. Easily at least 50 people.

Suguru felt uncomfortable until his eyes landed on someone familiar. 

“Geto?” Nanami looked surprised, the most of any facial expression he ever displayed. He looked shocked and panicked but tried to play it cool. “What are you doing here?”

Suguru shrugged. “Toji invited me here.”

Nanami furrowed his brow. “You know Toji?” He was confused, was he not supposed to know who the man was? Nanami looked around and grabbed Suguru’s arm, directing him to the bar. “Nevermind. You shouldn’t be here.”

“What are you saying?” Suguru tilted his head. “I’m here looking for Satoru because that Toji guy said he’d be here. He disappeared again and I can’t get a hold of him and we need to talk.” Nanami held Suguru’s shoulder and sighed. “Where is he, Nanami?” 

Suddenly the lights started flickering and Toji stood on the centre floor, his face smug and he was holding a bucket filled with cash. “Welcome! Are you ladies ready to witness one of the most requested events ever?” Everyone started cheering and clapping, whistling so loud it bounced off the walls creating this very full ambience in the small space that was the club basement.

Suguru looked around and finally his eyes landed on Nanami. “What is this?” 

Toji then began talking again. “If you haven’t paid up to this handsome man here for the fee, get the fuck out!” The crowd booed and some even laughed but Suguru had a strange feeling pooling in his stomach. The crowd went wild, waving their glass in the air. He will never forget the stench of all the smells coming together to attack his senses. “Don’t forget to place your bets. Tonight is a fight between the crazy newbie versus the strongest person I know. You do not want to miss this!”

I’m strong, remember?

A vague voice whispered in his head before he lifted his head to scan the crowd, pushing his way to the centre to get a better look. He could faintly hear Nanami call out his name but he just kept on squeezing and pushing people out the way when finally he saw him.

I’m strong.

Satoru stood there, his face lightly bruised already even before the fight. The bell was rung and the two guys were hands off attacking each other with their bare fists out. The opponent named Jogo took the first hit and the crowd went wild, waving cash in the air and some were yelling encouraging words. Jogo swung his fists but Satoru dodged it just in time to land a punch right in the shorter man’s gut.

Suguru wanted to throw up. He felt sick to his stomach, the butterflies and anxiety in his abdomen replaced with a sharp stabbing pain. Satoru blocked the punches that came his way only to get kicked in the back but without a slight flinch he carried on to punch Jogo square in the face.

The flickering lights were starting to cloud his vision as he stood there watching the boy he was looking for, who had disappeared for a whole week, being in some illegal fight club. All the bruises started to make sense, the constant vanishing finally became clear. The way he would sometimes show up with bruises on his face and knuckles only to play it off as some drunk fight at the bar or club. 

He snapped out of his thoughts and watched the fight again. Satoru spun around trying to dodge the rapid attacks towards his face from his opponent with a smirk on his face like he was toying with the man. Suguru clenched his fist and jaw, eyes glued to the scene in front of him.

Satoru was about to land a punch on Jogo when he lifted his head up and locked eyes with Suguru for a split second before his smile faded. His eyes losing that confidence he was just oozing out seconds ago. His eyes widened before Jogo lunged at him and hit him square in the face causing him to stumble.

“No.” Suguru mentally said to himself.  Seeing the boy grab Satoru by the neck and landing another hard knock on his cheek causing him to stumble back and people pushing Suguru to the side, squeezing the man in between their big bodies when he felt Nanami tug him backwards. “He’s getting beaten up! Tell them to stop the match.”

“No. They can’t. Money is involved and you can’t fuck with people’s money like that. Let him finish the fight. Don’t worry he’ll win. Toji calls him the strongest after all.”

It felt like ringing in his ear, all the shouts and mayhem and the sound of grunts coming from Satoru who was getting completely wrecked made him want to throw up. 

Toji calls him the strongest after all.

I am strong

I’m strong, remember. 

Repeat after me, I’m strong.

You are strong. You are strong. You are strong. You are strong. You are strong. You are strong.

Another sound of a wet punch snapped Suguru out of his thoughts as he whipped his head back, seeing Satoru swing his arm towards his opponent. 

Chapter Text

It was a miracle that Satoru ended up winning the fight. People went wild, waving their drinks in the air and making all sorts of noises from their mouths to congratulate his win. Toji motioned Satoru to follow him to the back room and with one final glance, he left.

Suguru was frozen in time. 

He didn’t know how to react to witnessing something so horrifying and dangerous and completely illegal so to say. Nanami tapped his shoulder and sighed deeply, gesturing to the back room door and telling him to follow along. 

The back room was not as surprising, just more grey walls with a couch in front of a desk that had a heaping amount of cash on top. Toji counted the money with his quick fingers and handed it to the newbie fighter who’s face looked like he was slammed by a car, his knuckles were bruised and bloody and so was his busted lip. Even though he lost, he had a smile plastered on his face when he took the money. He waved at Satoru and Toji before leaving the room and then it was silent.

Toji started counting again from the pile and handed Satoru cash, which the boy didn’t even acknowledge. “I really thought you were gonna lose but I’m an idiot to doubt you.” Toji smiled and gestured to his men to collect the money and count it properly before keeping it in the safe. “Geto is here to pick you up by the way.”

Satoru finally looked up from the couch and grabbed hold of Toji’s collar. “ You brought him here?”

“He was looking for you at the dorms and the second I told him I knew where you were, he followed me like a lost puppy.” Toji looked up at Suguru who was standing at the doorway with Nanami and shrugged. “Go home, Gojo.”

Satoru looked at the doorway at last and he bit his bruised lower lip. The white haired boy took his gym bag and gave Toji one last look before storming out the door ignoring Suguru. Nanami grunted and crossed his arms, walking towards Toji. 

“I don’t know why he insists on doing this.” Toji stated, handing Nanami a drink. “I’m not one to turn down people who wanna fight but I keep telling him he doesn’t have to do this anymore.”

Suguru squinted his eyes. “What do you mean?”

Toji winced as he downed his drink and gestured towards the boy who stormed his way out the door. “It’s better if he tells you.” Was all he commented on.

That was all Suguru needed to hear before his legs picked up speed to catch Satoru who walked out. He felt tons of emotions play in his mind at that very moment. He was confused and angry and sad and frustrated all at once, he needed to know what was going on with Satoru. The whole fight he witnessed really opened his eyes to a whole different world. 

A world where Gojo Satoru was a totally different person than he knew.

Suguru left the loud club and looked around for the white haired boy before the same bouncer from before tapped his shoulder and gestured towards the same alley as last time. The boy ran over there and sighed deeply when Satoru was leaning against the cold brick wall with a cigarette trapped between his two fingers. 

There it was, the lazy smile that imprisoned Suguru’s attention since day one. “Hey.” That lazy tone of his that tugged at his heartstrings. “I’m kind of hungry. Are you?” 

Sighing deeply, Suguru took the duffle bag from the ground and slung it across his shoulder. Not saying a word before he walked over to his car, hoping that Satoru followed suit. He unlocked his car and chucked the bag in the back before settling down in the driver’s seat. The passenger door opened not long after and the white haired boy sat in silence, driving to any food place that wasn’t in the area.

After eating two burgers in the car, they finally reached Satoru’s dorm and Suguru eyed the boy. “You should take a shower before I start cleaning your wounds. You stink.”

Satoru was surprisingly obedient, he took his shoes off and walked straight to the bathroom. Suguru decided to go and make some warm drinks just to ease his mind and do something to distract him. 

It was almost half an hour in and Satoru still hadn’t come out and Suguru started getting more irritated by the minute. He finally got up from the couch and walked over to the bathroom and knocked lightly. No answer. He knocked again and again, a bit louder this time but still, the only sound he could hear was the shower running.

Suguru started to feel the anxiety rush through his whole body and the image of pill bottles in his bathroom appeared in his mind before he went into full panic mode. “Satoru!” He knocked on the door harder and was met with more silence. He wanted to cry, his breathing started getting disoriented before using his shoulder to bash the door open. “Satoru! Open the door, please!”

The door finally flew open after the fourth hit from his shoulders and the scene made Suguru want to throw up every single last drop of content he had in his stomach. Satoru laid passed out on the shower floor, for who knows how long. Sudden flashbacks of his mother came into view of her laying on the floor out cold and he tried to block them out. He stood there frozen before making his way to turn the shower off.

He shook the boy’s body trying to wake him up and when Satoru finally opened his eyes only to wince at how bright the room was, Suguru tried to fish out his phone from his pockets. “Wait here, I’ll call for help.”

“Don’t.” He clenched his jaw. “Don’t call anyone. I’m fine, I just lost consciousness for a second.” 

Suguru looked at the sink and the floor and didn’t see any pill bottles or anything indicating it was more than an accident so he lifted the boy from the ground and brought him to the couch. Getting a fresh towel and clothes from his room, he helped the boy dry his hair. Trying to get the words out, tried to spit out anything that came to mind but his mind was blank. All he could do was bite his lower lip to stop him from being a sobbing mess and to hide his shaking hands in the towel.

The Satoru he saw that day was a Satoru he never in a million years would imagine seeing. The bruises on his face and body as well as cuts haunted his brain. Seeing the boy get hurt only fueled his anger and gloominess even more. 

What felt like hours which only lasted 20 minutes of them just sitting down, staring at the corner of the room and at nothing, Suguru finally spun his head around to look at the boy, he looked at his bruised face and his knuckles as well as many other thoughts circulating his mind. He then remembered again how much he didn’t know about him and he wanted to cry.  

“Don’t make that face, Suguru. Please don’t cry.”

Suguru clenched his fist in the towel, glancing at the stack of cash on the coffee table and sighed. “Satoru.” He said with all the strength he had left, feeling mentally drained by the situation. “What are we?”

“What do you mean?”

Suguru bit down hard on his lip. “I barely know anything about you and I feel like we’re more than friends at this point and I obviously care for you a lot.” Satoru avoided looking at him, eyes darting towards the windows and the corner of the room. “I wanna know if you feel the same way as me.”

The white haired boy looked up at the boy. “Yes.” His eyes finally found Suguru’s and it was painfully clear he was holding back tears. “I do feel the same.”

“Then, I want to know more about you. I want to know your hobbies and your dreams. I want to know your favorite color and the type of food you like eating.” Satoru continued looking at him as he rambled on. “I want to know your favorite movies, your favorite celebrity feud. Your favorite country. Heck, I want to know if you like to put milk first before the cereal or whatever.” Suguru went on and on. “I want to know what makes you sad. I want to know what makes you happy.”

Just like that Satoru cupped his cheek and hushed the shaking boy but Suguru continued anyway despite being unable to keep his hands and mouth from running wild. “I want to know why you do the things you do. Please, tell me, Satoru.” Suguru finally lifted his head and to his surprise, a single tear dropped to his cheek onto the white haired boy’s finger.

“Please.” He begged. “We both feel the same towards each other and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to fight anymore no matter the reason. Let me help you. Let me help you the way you’ve been helping me.” The dam broke. All the pent up frustration and anxiety finally escaped from his eyes and overflowed into a sea of sorrow. He felt like drowning, he couldn’t breathe and all he could do was struggle underwater. 

Satoru hushed the boy and pulled him into a hug, stroking his black hair. “Let me help you, Satoru. You don’t have to be the strongest alone.” He pleaded. 

You don’t have to be the strongest alone.

It was obvious the last sentence took the boy by surprise. Satoru stopped breathing for a second and his fingers stopped circling Suguru’s cheeks.  “Okay.” Was all he said, lifting his chin with his fingers. “Let’s settle down and we can talk all night. As long as you want.” 

❀

Satoru got cleaned up, his wounds all disinfected and he changed into new clothes that Suguru laid out on the couch. Suguru was all curled up in a blanket he fetched from the boy’s room, eyes all swollen from the crying and his nose stuffed. All he could muster to think about was his childhood and how he was always used to seeing his mother during one of her episodes, laid on the floor unconscious.  Either she would drink her anxiety away or she’d lash out on Suguru and both instances left a humongous scar in his existence. All his life, he craved love. He craved to be loved unconditionally by his parents, always trying his best no matter what. 

Suguru craved being wanted by literally anybody, he craved to be held tenderly by the hands of someone he adored. He wanted nothing more than to feel loved and to experience the feeling of love and he found that in Satoru. 

He felt a dip on the couch and saw Satoru adjusting himself on the seat before gesturing Suguru to lean on his chest and he did. Satoru sighed deeply and played with Suguru’s hair, something he loved doing every time they slept together, he loved brushing Suguru’s hair in the morning before going to class and sometimes he would even tie it in a bun and even though it was far from being a perfect tie, Suguru left it on all day.

“Do you wanna watch a movie or just talk?” 

Suguru looked up and touched the boy’s swollen lips and smiled softly. “When is your birthday,  Satoru?”

“December 7th.” He answered. “I know it’s close, in a couple months but don’t worry too much about it. I’ve not celebrated my birthday in years. Not since my mom died.”

Suguru nodded, turning his body back to fully lean on the boy. He felt a bit uncomfortable now, having been sat in a weird position but he didn’t want to pull back. He was scared to lose the warmth. “How did you meet Nanami and Utahime?”

The white haired boy laughed, recalling the days. “Believe it or not, Nanami and I went to the same middle and high school. Utahime has always been there I suppose.” A smile was stuck on the boy’s face. “Nanami was my knight in shining armor once, rescued me from some homophobic comments and Utahime was, well, she helped me get through high school. She made it less hard.”

He stopped stroking the boy’s head and trailed his fingers down to intertwine his fingers with Suguru instead, they were warm as always and Suguru loved the feeling of how perfect Satoru’s hands were and how they molded together with his. 

“Onto the less depressing stuff, I like sweets.” Suguru scoffed. “I’m serious. I have a massive sweet tooth.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” The two boys chuckled. “Any type of sweets?”

Satoru nodded his head and changed his position again, this time spreading his legs to the side and pulling Suguru in between them for better easement. Suguru hummed, feeling much better when Satoru gave a little kiss to his temple. “Yeah pretty much but my favorite sweet is this right here.” He brought their intertwined fingers to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the boy’s knuckles. 

Suguru clicked his tongue, feeling embarrassed. “You’re so corny.” He thought of more questions and they talked for what felt like hours. Suguru found out his favorite color was blue but it changed to black because he made a whole pun about it being the color of Suguru’s hair, of course earning a smack on the leg for his cheekiness. 

Satoru apparently is a lightweight drinker or not even considered a drinker much to Suguru’s surprise because he cannot recall seeing Satoru having alcohol the first couple weeks they met each other and even so after. He had terrible tolerance and hated the taste of it on his taste buds but he drinks because he likes the feeling of feeling drunk, not a care in the world like he said. 

“I started drinking when I was in high school. My first drink tasted horrible, it was one of Utahime’s friends' weird concoction. Some moonshine shit. I hate drinking but it makes me forget easily. I used to have a lot of things I’d wanna forget.” Suguru started overthinking again because they had drank together when they met. A whole whiskey bottle to be exact, in the small bathroom. “But, I’m trying to stop drinking now though.”

He looked back at the boy. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Because I don’t want to forget anymore.” Satoru chewed on his lower lip and sighed. “I’m going to be honest. The day after the party, I almost forgot what you looked like, but I remembered every feeling of that kiss and your hands on me. I remembered the lights going off and it was pitch dark but all I could see was you.” He held the boy’s hand tighter. 

“But when I saw you at the restaurant, it was like my memory came back. My eyes couldn’t remember what you looked like but my soul knew it was you. The boy I kissed.”

A whole wave of crimson washed on Suguru’s cheeks, he pulled his legs in and hid his face in between, trying to conceal how giddy he felt. “You can’t just say things like that.” 

Satoru laughed out loud and shook Suguru’s body. “It made you smile so I can say whatever I want.” He pulled Suguru back out of his red faced position and wrapped his arms around the boy’s torso. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Going missing all the time without telling you and ending up looking beat up like this.” Suguru turned his head and hummed. “I told Nanami and Utahime to not tell you about it if you ever asked but I’m ready now. The whole story.”

❀

He remembered the downpour like it was yesterday. If he focused and reminisced hard enough, he could feel the cold April breeze give his goosebumps the second he opened his bedroom window to sneak out. He had his backpack ready and put on the thickest hoodie he could find in his closet. After making sure his parents were downstairs, he decided to leave.

“Satoru!” He heard his mom call out so he hurriedly tried to jump out but he soon realized what a mistake it was when his thick hoodie got stuck in the window pane. He heard his mother giggle in the background at the scene she was witnessing. “No no. Go ahead and try again, I’ll just count to ten and walk in looking shocked that my son isn’t in his room.”

Satoru grunted and rolled his eyes. His friends were waiting at the cybercafe but looked like he was going to be the loser in the group and not go. “Can you help me?”

His mother shook her head in disbelief and unhooked his stuck shirt on the pane before dusting off her hands and ruffling his hair. He looked up at his mom and pouted. 

She was beautiful, the way her white hair flowed below her shoulders with her bright blue eyes that looked like the ocean. Her smile radiated the feeling of warm laundry that was soaked out in the sun, the pleasant warmth that enveloped his whole body when he was around always captivated him.

Satoru loved his mom. 

-

The cafeteria was busy as usual and Satoru walked with his friends to their table but that meant walking past the group of rich kids who thought flexing daddy’s money was a personality trait. They whispered something to each other before a boy extended his leg, making Satoru trip and accidentally stepping on his shoe.

“Fuck. You stepped on my new Jordans you piece of shit.”

Satoru smiled. “Sorry but next time keep your legs to yourself. You’re seriously gonna hurt someone.” 

The boy took that as a challenge and got up from his seat. Satoru was clearly taller than him, his 13 year old frame still being quite long in comparison to the other kids but that didn’t faze the boy at all. “You dirty it so clean it or buy me a new one.”

“No. Why would I?”

A sudden shove caught him off guard which made him stumble, his friends coming to help only to be held back by the rich boy’s friends. “I forgot.” He said in a mocking tone. “You’re poor. You can’t afford new shoes right?”

The whole group laughed but all the attention in the cafeteria was now locked on them. “Stop being an ass.” Satoru looked at the boy with blonde hair standing up with his arms crossed. “You bully him and I’m calling the teacher.”

“Sit your ass down, Kento.” One of the boy’s friends said, shoving him back into his seat. Satoru stepped forward and shoved him back. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”

It was the bully’s turn to laugh out loud. “You really let this gay bastard shove you like that?” Satoru could only see red at this point and swung his fist back, hitting the boy square in the jaw and all hell broke loose.

All he remembered was getting pushed front and back and getting punched in the nose. He tried to pry his eyes open to look for the boy and when he spotted him punching and swinging his hands at the bully who called him a gay bastard, Kento was winning.

“Say that stupid shit again to him! I dare you!” The Kento boy yelled.

Satoru’s mind went blank and swung again and again until his vision blurred.

-

He winced when a cotton pad was pressed above his eyebrow, seeing his mother hush him and call him a baby. “This is why you shouldn’t fight. Your good looks get ruined and you have your poor mother clean you up.” 

The suspension was expected when his parents were called to the school and had their ears chewed out by the other kids’ parents.“You don’t have to clean me up, I can do it myself.” She put the cotton pads in his hand and motioned him to do so but when Satoru picked it up and froze, she hugged her son. 

“Satoru.” She sighed. “I know you must’ve had reasons for doing it and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but I know you know what you’re doing and when I’m gone one day, I want you to keep staying strong. No matter what. Promise me.” 

The 13 year old boy looked at his mom and tears started pooling in both their eyes. “Why are you saying that? You can’t leave me, ever.”

She wiped her tear stained cheek. “Of course, baby.”

“Fine. I promise then. But you have to promise me something too.”

“What is it?”

He felt quite shy to say it but seeing his mom cry, he mustered up the courage to be cheesy with her just to see her smile again. “I promise you I’ll stay strong if you promise me you’d stay strong too. No matter what. Deal?”

His mom widened her eyes at the unexpected attitude her son was showing but cracked into the prettiest laugh. “It’s a deal.” 

Chapter Text

He jumped down from his window and waved at Utahime who was chewing her favorite blueberry flavored gum. When she saw Satoru standing there with his jacket in one hand and shades in another, she shot a soft smile before patting his head, an action she did more often than she’d like to admit.

“If the party is shit, I’m leaving.” He asked. She clicked her tongue and motioned him to the car where her friends were waiting, calling their names only to get a hush from Satoru to not wake his parents up. 

Utahime flipped them off and the two hopped into the car before they were off to the party at the other side of town, where the rich people lived. Where money did the talking most of the time and where power was a privilege given to those who were born into it. 

Satoru rolled down the window when he felt stuffy in a car filled with bad music and the smell of cheap perfume attacking his nose. “Here. Have some of this.” He looked at the bottle that contained some yellowish liquid. “You never go to a party without being a bit tipsy.”

“No way. I don’t drink and there’s no way I’m starting with something that looks like that.”

The girls laughed. “Just drink the damn devil juice, Gojo.” They pushed. He took the bottle and eyed it for a couple seconds before taking a whiff from the opening and gagged. “My boyfriend is into the moonshine business, this is one of his client’s favorites.”

“You mean your 30 year old loser boyfriend that thinks having a mohawk in this decade is still cool?”

She smacked his arm. “Just so you know, he’s going to be super rich one day with this business and I’ll be right there next to him with my new set of tits. Drink up, pussy.”

He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip. His taste buds felt like they were on fire and as the liquid burnt his throat leaving a very unsettling aftertaste, he  shoved the bottle back to one of the girls and gagged. 

“Fuck, that’s rancid.” The girls laughed again. “Tell your middle aged boyfriend to switch careers. Fucks sake.” 

Utahime chuckled, putting Satoru’s head in a headlock. “Don’t worry, everyone’s first drink is always bad.”

-

The party was rowdy, that’s one word to describe it. Nothing more wild than high school kids at the peak of their lives, drinking and being the nuisance they are. Satoru plopped on the expensive looking couch after having danced for 20 minutes straight with Utahime and the girls. 

He hated to admit it but he was having fun. He decided to head to the kitchen and get something to drink. Bottles of unlabeled alcohol sat on the counter with red solo cups everywhere. He sighed and tried to sniff every bottle there but his lack of knowledge on the juices caused him to stump.

“You know, there’s coke in the fridge if you want some.” He lifted his head to grace his blue eyes with the sight of an older looking boy. A pretty boy to say the least. “Either sprite or coke but it’s much better than whatever the hell is on this table.” 

Satoru smirked and nodded. “Hit me up, bartender.”

The boy laughed and poured the soft drink in an empty- and hopefully clean- solo cup before sliding it over to him. “I’m Nanami. Nanami Kento.”

“I’m Gojo Satoru. Wait, how old are you? Just so I can confirm I’m not talking to a pedophile or anything so you’ll groom me and make me your little boy slave.” He joked around, taking a gulp of his drink.

Nanami laughed out loud and crossed his arms, leaning against the counter. “I’m the one younger than you, smart ass.”

Satoru fake winced and tapped his chin. “You don’t look like it.” He couldn't help but notice that Nanami had a really good body, a super nice one to be exact and his voice was giving him butterflies as well as the way his lips would turn into a playful smirk. 

“You don’t remember me?” 

“I’m sorry?”

Nanami chuckled. “I thought so. I was the boy in the cafeteria. You know the one who stood up for you when we were like, 13? You got suspended after that.”

Satoru widened his eyes and laughed. “Oh shit. It’s you. It’s been three years already?” The boy nodded. “I’m sorry for being an ass. That’s no way to treat my knight in shining armour.” Nanami fake gagged and rolled his eyes, both boys then going into a conversation about school and games, drinking his coke while Nanami had his own beer in his hand.

They don’t know how but having snuck into the master bedroom and out the balcony only to climb to the roof, the two boys sat with a bottle of whiskey and coke they took from the kitchen and sat on the roof of the house. 

“Finally! The party was getting too annoying.” Satoru said, staring at the starry sky. “So Nanami. Do tell me, have you ever kissed a girl before?”

The boy rolled his eyes. “We were done with 20 questions.”

Satoru faked a disbelief gasp. “So you’re saying our friendship ended after the first 20 questions? I’m hurt that my company is not wanted.” He pouted and faked a cry, wiping his tears away and holding his chest. The dramatics. 

“You’re so annoying.” Nanami stated.

“Just spill, Nanami. If we’re gonna be friends, I wanna know all your secrets and thoughts. How often do you not shower? Which teacher do you think is the hottest? Do you think the dress was blue and black or white and gold?”

Nanami gulped down his whiskey and pondered for a second. “The dress was black and blue.” Satoru fist pumped in the air and laughed. “I’ve never kissed a girl before. Have you?”

“Nope because I’m not into girls.” The boy whipped his head to look at Satoru and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. You fell into my trap.”

“Well then.” Nanami sipped from the whiskey bottle. “How long have you known?”

Satoru chuckled to himself and balled his jacket into a pillow, resting his head. “I had a crush on one of my neighbours when I was 14 and he kissed me. He did move a couple months after that, though, so we didn’t pursue anything. Can you believe that? He stole my first kiss and ran away! That jerk.”

Nanami sighed deeply. “How are you so comfortable telling me this? We’re not that close.”

The white haired boy shrugged, eyes still glued to the sky with a smile painting his face. “On the contrary, I’m feeling very nervous. I feel like throwing up and my ass has been clenching for three minutes now.” The two boys laughed at the poor attempt of humoring the situation. 

“Besides, I’d like to think we will be closer from now on, seeing that you’re the first person I told.” He turned his head to see Nanami looking at him with an unreadable expression. “I’m planning on coming out to my parents soon. Hopefully they take it as good as you.”

“So, I was the lab rat.”

Satoru laughed. “Yup.”

-

“Get out of my house!” His father screamed into his face, the dining room chairs flipped upside down and the food his mother worked so hard to make, splattered on the ground. Satoru stood his ground, took the shoves and slaps that he received. “How dare you sit in front of me and say such nonsense. Is it an early grave, you want?” He yelled.

“Stop!” His mother pleaded, holding her husband back. “Imagine how he feels! It must have been hard enough for him to keep it in. Our son trusts us, don’t push him away.” Tears streamed down her face as she looked at her son.

Her only son.

“Is that why you’ve been fighting at school? Getting suspension after suspension? Because you go running around telling people you’re a freak?” A slap to his right cheek. “My son is not gay!” A stinging slap to the same cheek. “You’re just contaminated with the new trend. Everyone is gay now you want to be gay, is that it? Get out of my house.” The last sentence said with his teeth clenched, his father’s hands shaking at his sides.

His mother shook her head and held onto Satoru next, cupping his cheeks. “Stay. Please. Satoru don’t leave the house.”

Satoru took one last look at his mom and then his fuming father before he pried her hands off him and left. He had no phone, no money and no means to contact any friends to console him. He was truly alone. The night was cold as the heavy rain poured down, drenching the 16 year old boy who had nowhere to go. 

His shoes and socks wet as he stepped in God knows how many puddles and his sweater wasn’t enough to keep him slightly warm. His feet didn’t stop running until he reached the city, people giving him weird stares and whispering to each other about the boy who was walking in the rain, both his eyes and cheeks red.

Satoru found himself unable to continue standing, having ran away as far as he could without stopping so when he saw a bench outside a club, he didn’t hesitate to sit.  He covered his face with his hands, finally sobbing into his cold palms. 

“Shit. That went horrible.” He muttered to himself. Looking at his sweater that stuck to his body and his white hair sticking to his forehead, all he could do was sigh. 

A couple moments later he was jolted by a deep unfamiliar voice. He lifted his head and saw a guy with a scar on his mouth, looking at him with a cigarette in between his lips. “You lost, boy?”

“Is running away from home considered me being lost?” The guy chuckled and shrugged, finally sitting next to Satoru. “Life fucking sucks, man.”

The stranger hummed, puffing the gray smoke into the air. “Say, you look like you can throw a punch. Are you interested in making quick money?”

“You’re kidding. We just met and you’re already asking me to be your little sex slave.” 

“That’s not what I was doing at all. I’m the owner of this club you’re at.” Satoru scoffed. “Here’s my card then.”

He eyed the piece of cardstock. “Toji Fushiguro. Thanks but I don’t think we’ll be seeing each other again.”

Toji laughed, inhaling more smoke from the stick and winced when the burning sensation hit his throat. “Kids who run away because they want to disappear forever and kids who just want to run away for the sake of escaping reality for a couple hours, will always end up at the same place.” He looked at Satoru before tossing the cigarette butt on the floor. “Go home, kid. We’ll see each other soon enough.”

-

Three months. Two thousand one hundred and ninety hours. It seems like a long time for many people. For most, it was three months of work or school. A lot can happen in three months, some people get engaged, some even graduate or get married. Some would buy a new car or a new house but for Satoru, those three months flew faster than he could blink.

He got a call when he was with Utahime, smoking behind the quiet building after getting into trouble again with the bullies at the school, that his mother had collapsed at work and that was enough for him to ditch his friend and climb the school gate to run to the hospital. 

Chronic Leukemia. 

What’s worse than having it was his mother hiding it from the family for two whole years, refusing treatment due to the lack of money they had. Satoru wanted to scream, he wanted to pull all his hair out when he saw his mother lay in bed unconscious. 

She has been in the hospital for three months and the doctors were doing all they could to help and save her, extend her life span for even a day but the truth of the matter was, money. They needed money to save her.

Satoru knew how to make money. One phone call and in three months, he was making at least five thousand dollars but it came with a price. He didn’t have to pretend to hide when he came home from the fights he had been to, didn’t have to conceal the money he was getting from the club fights he agreed to do at Toji’s club. 

His father felt repulsed, he was disgusted at his son and there was never a day he wouldn’t remind Satoru how disappointed he was and how it was his fault his mother was laying in the hospital bed. His father never missed an opportunity to mock him and ridicule his son, telling him what’s next? Sleeping with men for money? Calling him a bunch of slurs and embedding in his mind that it was all his fault.

He went to school, came back to change before going to the club to fight and he would earn at least 50 to 100 dollars just like that, depending on how many people showed up or if he won, and Satoru made a promise to himself that he would always win. 

He was the strongest after all. 

He started to smoke, drink more, come home drunk with a bag of money in his hands and then he would get yelled at by his dad before cleaning his own wounds himself and going to sleep, repeating the same thing every day. 

“Your face, sweetheart.” His mom cried, touching her son’s bruised cheek and busted lip. He adjusted his sunglasses and only shot her a smile. “It’s not worth it, baby.” She sobbed. It was clear as day how much weight she was losing at such a rapid pace, how her lips lost its color and how her body started bruising, patches of purple and blue painted her arms and her chest. 

“I told you that you can never leave me, mom.” He tried to hold back from breaking down, holding her hand gently. “You promised me to stay strong.”

He gave her hand a kiss. “One of us had to break that promise. And it’s not going to be you, baby.”

-

The funeral went by as smoothly as a funeral could go. Relatives and friends he didn’t recognize came to pay respects as well as both Nanami and Utahime. They patted Satoru on the back and told him to give them a call when he was ready. The girl brushed her fingers through his hair gently and then they were off.

“Are you happy?” He heard his father’s voice from behind him. “You did this.” 

Just like that, Satoru broke down, clutching onto his chest when nobody was there anymore. He fell to his knees in front of his mother’s grave and watched as tears fell to the soil beneath him. “I’m strong.” He stuttered through a shaky breath. “I’m strong.”

He was cold, his lips blue in contrast with his red eyes and red nose from both crying and the winter weather. He clutched his chest and exhaled a deep breath. 

7th December. 

The day his mother exhaled her last breath while holding onto her son’s hand. The grip loosening in his warm hands as her smile faded into nothing. The day the first snow fell outside the hospital window and decorated the city with white and blue. The first time in his life, Gojo Satoru didn’t feel like he was the strongest anymore as he broke down, salty tears streaming down his tears onto his mother’s hospital bed.

What a birth day it was.

❀

Suguru wiped the tears off his cheeks, looking at Satoru who had tears welling up in his eyes too. “My dad decided to get remarried not long later and I took that as a sign to just run. With the money I got from the club, I stayed at Toji’s and Nanami’s place before ending up here.” He gave a heavy hearted laugh. “At the end of the day, I’m just a coward. I relied on my mom for a long time and blamed myself for her death. If I was a better son maybe she would’ve lived longer, you know?”

“No.” He spoke with a stern voice. “Never blame yourself for that, she would hate seeing you blame yourself. You went through a lot and you had to do what you thought was the right thing at that moment.” Suguru turned his whole body and got up to his knees, cupping the white haired boy’s face. “I’m grateful that you had good friends like Nanami and Utahime but now you have me too. You don’t have to feel alone anymore. I hope you can feel that way.”  

Satoru grabbed Suguru’s hand and gave it a kiss. “Right. I have you.” The two boys sat in silence, only the sound of the aircon and the sound of drizzles outside tapping the window could be heard. “If I could, I’d run away with you.”

Suguru huffed, giving Satoru a kiss on the lips. Straddling his lap, Satoru brought his hands to explore Suguru’s body, trailing his fingers under his shirt and squeezing his hips and abdomen before pulling back. “We’d run away to the countryside or some place where we’re awakened by the sound of the sea and birds and the smell of coffee in the morning.” Satoru laughed at the thought. “We’d leave everything behind and just be Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru together.”

“I like that idea. Just Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru.”

Suguru nodded and kissed Satoru again. “Thank you for sharing your life with me. I promise as long as I’m with you, you’ll never have to fight again. Never again.”

The white haired boy hummed, looking at Suguru with that sparkle in his blue eyes. His fingers still resting on the boy’s hip, drawing circles on his hip bone and giving him kisses on his shoulder and his chest. 

“Satoru.” He lifted his head. “I love you.”

Satoru widened his eyes, his smile fading into something like fear and anxiousness and Suguru would be lying if he said he didn’t notice it. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe it was a bad idea, he wanted to take it back but did he really? The anxiousness on Satoru’s face left as quickly as it made itself apparent and was then replaced with tears and a shaky smile. 

“Wait. No, don't cry. I’m sorry, it was too soon wasn’t it?” He wiped Satoru’s cheek with his fingers and hugged him tight, hoping that maybe, just maybe he won’t disappear and go away. 

“Suguru.” The boy stopped talking and looked at him carefully. “I love you too.”

He giggled and wrapped his arms around Satoru, crashing their lips together. He noticed tears were overflowing down his cheeks and realized they were both crying. Satoru lifted Suguru up from the couch and the boy quickly wrapped his legs around him, arms still holding on for dear life and their lips still moving together in unison. 

He fell onto the bed and cupped Satoru’s cheeks, continuing the kiss before they both burst out laughing. “So, are we a couple now? Like officially?” Suguru teased, fingers playing with Satoru’s fringe. 

“No. You’re supposed to take me to some fancy shmancy restaurant and we would laugh and drink horribly expensive wine that was from the early 2000s while jazz music plays in the background and I pop the question and you’d say yes and we kiss and everyone claps and then we make love that night.” He lifted an eyebrow before continuing. “Or you pop the question. Who cares about my fantasies right?”

Suguru laughed and pulled the boy into another kiss. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Which is why you love me so much, right?”

“Yeah.” He kissed him again. 

Chapter Text

“So, he told you everything.” Utahime deadpanned after hearing that the two boys were official, seeing how Satoru was being extra clingy to Suguru, latching onto his arm like a koala. She ruffled his hair like she used to do back in high school. “Get off him, weirdo. It’s nauseating.”

Satoru stuck his tongue out and flipped her off. “You’re just jealous because Suguru is affectionate unlike your girlfriend.” Shoko burst out laughing, holding onto Utahime’s thigh to calm her down. Haibara could only laugh at the scene, stealing glances at Nanami who was sipping on his drink.

“My girlfriend is so affectionate. In fact, she has more affection in her pinky toe than both of you have in your whole body!” Utahime voiced out. Shoko smacked her own forehead and started blushing hard. “You two suck.”

Satoru scoffed and squished Utahime’s cheeks like he always does to annoy her. “Aw, are you scared Suguru and I are gonna take your place as the best couple in the group?”

Nanami huffed before turning his head to face Satoru who was still squashing the girl’s cheeks. He wanted to say something but he held back only clearing his throat and nodded his head. “Oh? Is there anything you want to say, Kento?” Satoru teased, poking Nanami’s cheeks only to get swatted. 

“It’s nothing.”

“Spill it.”

“It’s just-” The boy tried his best to hide his smile by taking a sip of his coffee but failed to hide his ears from the blush that made itself visible. “I miss seeing you like this.” The whole table fell silent, just staring at Nanami with wide eyes. Even Shoko and Utahime who were rubbing her cheeks seemed frozen in time. “What?”

A beat passed and Satoru exploded into his usual dramatics, taking his sunglasses off as he wiped the fake tears away. “Nanami!” He cried, catching everybody’s attention in the cafe. “Nanami! You do care!” He jumped out of his seat and hugged his friend who clearly looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there, trying to push the white haired boy off him. 

Utahime laughed, feeling grateful it wasn’t her and Suguru couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of Satoru’s squished cheek latching itself onto Nanami’s when he was so obviously blushing from the skinship. “Get off me, Gojo.” He pleaded but everyone could tell, he didn’t really mind Satoru’s antics. 

Shoko rolled her eyes at the drama that was being displayed in front of her and took the opportunity to grab Suguru’s hand. She didn’t have to say anything, just that soft look she gave Suguru was enough for him to understand the message she wanted to convey. He grabbed her hand tighter and gave her a smile. 

❀

Laying on the sandy beach under the starry sky was always something Suguru thought people only did in movies, especially with their loved ones. Just the vision of two lovers under the same sky full of stars with their hands intertwined beneath the dark cold night with the moon on top of them, casting a faint light enough to give them that soft glow, made him feel giddy. Made it seem like a dream.

Suguru felt like he was in one of those movies now, looking to the side, seeing Satoru with his eyes closed and fingers intertwined with his. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he had a boyfriend. A boy who he cared about more than anything and they were under the stars on a beach, just enjoying each other’s company and holding hands. 

“What are you thinking about?” Satoru asked, facing his boyfriend. Suguru smiled softly and kissed their intertwined fingers. “Are you thirsty? I can drive to the shops and get you some water.”

“No.” He looked at the sky again. “I’m just fucking happy you’re here with me.” 

Satoru fake gasped and propped his body on his elbows. “Geto Suguru. Did you just curse?” He covered his mouth with his hand and widened his eyes. “That was hot. Curse me again.”

“If you’re gonna make it weird, I’m not doing it.”

“Curse me until the very end, Suguru.” Satoru chimed only to get a light smack on the chest and a kiss on the nose. Before they could continue doing anything else, Suguru’s phone notification went off and he fetched it from the side.

He looked at the date on his phone calendar then the time displayed on screen and sighed, thinking he had missed the date for the party his father was invited to, to celebrate the  engagement of some son of a chairman he couldn’t care less. 

Satoru peeked at the boy’s phone and giggled. “Can I choose what you’ll wear?”

“Sure.” He texted Mr Kim back to thank him for the reminder because he truthfully almost forgot and that was drama he did not want to be part of. Suguru tossed his phone on the sand and gave Satoru a light peck on the lips before a lightbulb popped up in his head. “Satoru.”

“Yeah?” 

“You still want the fancy schmancy dinner with expensive wine from the early 2000s with jazz music?” Satoru lifted an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side.

❀

They arrived at the address Suguru’s father sent and honestly the building wasn't so bad. It was a hotel at the centre of the city owned by his father’s good friend and ex business partner so it only made sense for the Geto family to be invited to their son’s engagement party. 

Suguru looked at Satoru and could sense the anxiousness oozing out from him but of course being the Gojo Satoru he was, he managed to hide it well and to the third person, they wouldn’t notice but Suguru did. “Hey.” He tried to calm his boyfriend. “Let’s just get through the night together.”

“I’m going to out-fancy all these rich bitches, Suguru.” The white haired boy declared. “I'm going to text Toji and show off.” 

Suguru laughed and the two boys got out of the car, handing the car keys to the valet parking. To be honest, Suguru never told his father he was bringing a plus one so this was going to be an interesting sight. He smiled at the valet and the two boys walked in the hotel. Satoru obviously loved every single thing he laid his eyes on.

He walked over to the centrepiece that was a huge swan carved from a block of ice which looked like it cost a fortune. Suguru couldn’t stop smiling as he saw people walk up to Satoru and try to start a conversation. He looked like he belonged in the setting, wearing one of Suguru’s old dark gray button down shirts, black blazer and slapped a navy tie on, black slacks and black leather shoes. 

Satoru wanted to stand out so he took Suguru’s old ballroom gloves and slipped them on and basked in his look in the mirror for a whole hour. Suguru himself was wearing nothing special or out of the norm. Just a simple white button down with black dress pants paired with black dress shoes. His hair was of course tied into a ponytail with a hint of eyeliner in his eyes which Satoru loved, having non stop kissing the boy afterwards because he was quote, very pretty, end quote. 

He continued to watch Satoru converse with the guests before a tap on his shoulder pulled him out of his trance. “Father.” He said nonchalantly.

“You brought him?” His father raised an eyebrow, seeing how Suguru was staring at him and how Satoru was dressed head to toe in his own son’s old clothes. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t keeping an eye out on them since they arrived and having caught a glimpse of how his son’s expression shifted everytime Satoru did anything remotely. 

“I want to say I’m surprised you two are in that kind of relationship but honestly, I’m not.”

Suguru mentally rolled his eyes. “Father of the year.” He whispered so only his father could hear which made the man very angry, it was written all over his face. “Cheer up a bit. I’m here, aren’t I? Now, if you could excuse me, I need to pry those chortling middle aged women away from my boyfriend.” Suguru excused himself and walked towards Satoru, holding onto his arm and smiling at the women who were giggling and acting 20 years younger than they were towards Satoru. 

The group of women apologized and walked away after a couple minutes. “Everything okay?” Satoru whispered. 

The boy nodded his head and they began walking into the ballroom and that’s when Suguru snapped out of it and realized what he had just done. He stood up for himself towards his father. Well, not only that but he came out. Of course, it wasn’t anything flashy and fancy with all the drama and theatrics but he made a snide remark and actually for once in his life, stood up for himself and felt no fear at all. Suguru’s heart began racing as he looked over his shoulder to see his parents talking to each other but it was clear as day his father still had a scowl on his face. It felt exhilarating.

Feeling the urge to laugh, he just squeezed Satoru’s hand tighter and made their way towards a table at the corner, sort of secluded from the whole hurrah. Feeling a bit relieved that it was hidden enough to see the stage and bask in the party but not visible enough for people to come and disturb their peace.

A waiter walked up to them and offered some champagne and Suguru took two glasses, handing it to Satoru who eyed the drink. 

“This is everything I actually imagined it would be to live a rich life.” Satoru voiced out, turning his head towards the band on stage playing some rendition of some jazz artist. “Fits every stereotype.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re having fun.”

Satoru looked at the champagne in his hand and studied the glass, eyebrows knitted together as if trying to figure out something. “How much does this cost so I can brag?”

Suguru chuckled. “300 dollars probably.” He took a sip of the wine and smacked his lips together to savor the expensive taste. Satoru widened his eyes and looked at his glass, not believing he was about to sip a quarter of his expenses that was equivalent to two weeks of food. Suguru laughed and wrapped his arm around Satoru’s waist.

There were no seating arrangements due to it being more of a party and gathering than some dinner. He scouted the whole room and he did manage to recognise some people like his father’s friends and their children who were also going to be dragged into their respective family companies. Some even waved at Suguru or gave him a nod and he just slightly waved back when they spotted the boy walk in the room.

“So you’re Mr.Popular.” He heard Satoru whisper in his ear causing him to laugh. “This is gonna be your life once you graduate if you decide to take over?”

Suguru hummed. “You know, the weirdest thing happened just now.”

He chuckled. “What?”

“I had the most bizarre coming out with my father and honestly, I didn’t feel the least bit anxious afterwards of what he was going to do or if he was going to blow a fuse.” The two boys looked at each other and suppressed a laugh. “I called you my boyfriend so I guess you’re finally stuck with me forever.”

Satoru leaned his head on Suguru’s shoulder, sipping on his champagne carefully. “Do you think your father would blow a fuse if I kissed you right now?” He asked in a teasing tone.

Yes. 

His father would not only explode in rage but he would actually bury Suguru six feet under that night itself. His father valued respect more than anything, his face and name were more important to him in the public eye more than the love and care he had for his family. 

Coming out to his father about his relationship spontaneously was a thing he never thought he’d ever do. The chairman has a gay son would most definitely be on everybody’s tongue for weeks if not months. How can he find an heir to the company if his lover is a man? 

His family name would be tarnished and ridiculed. His father would be a laughing stock and Suguru would be the target of harassment if it ever came out in the news that the son of a chairman was a homosexual. His parents would be swimming in constant snarky comments and whispers but then he thought about it again and all Suguru could do was let out a breathy laugh.

Let people see, let them watch and stare. Let his father blow up in flames and let his mother know that he was tired of being her saviour when it was ever so obvious she wasn’t going to listen and continue to stay for the money. 

The music resumed as the engaged couple clinked their glasses to make a speech, everybody was focused on them. People stood up to clap and show their support for the future bride and groom, nobody’s attention on anything and anyone else but Suguru’s eyes never left Satoru’s for even a second. 

Two pairs of eyes the color of the bright sky and enchanting midnight glued like magnets as the drowned out sound of a speech was being given. Nothing else mattered but Satoru’s playful smirk on his face and the sparkle of the chandelier reflecting in his eyes.

He was scared before, terrified even. He had no place to call home and nobody to run to but one look at Satoru next to him. His blue eyes stared ever so fondly, leaving Suguru speechless. He lifted Satoru’s chin and drew circles on his jaw. Leaning in to give the boy a kiss on the lips.

Suguru didn’t care anymore. He wasn’t scared anymore. He was stronger than that. 

The speech ended and everybody clapped their hands, completely unaware of the pinkish atmosphere that was surrounding a very secluded corner table that was in a blind spot. Suguru brought his thumb to trace circles on Satoru’s jaw as he felt the crinkling of the boy’s smile on his lips which made them just explode into a giggle fit.

They pulled away from each other a beat later and a blush painted Satoru’s cheeks in the prettiest shade of pink he had ever seen. The boy giggling with his champagne glass still in his hand. “So, Satoru.” He finally said, looking at his boyfriend with loving eyes. “We're somewhere fancy and there’s jazz music and horribly expensive champagne.”

Satoru smirked. “It appears we are.” 

“I thought long and hard about what to say when the time came so just bear with me.” Suguru rubbed his forehead and cleared his throat, seeing the anticipation painted on Satoru’s face. “I never believed a person could feel something so much for someone because all my life, I never received such luxury like the feeling of love . I craved love from my father who hated me, my mother who wished I was never born. Everything in my life is expected, already pre planned for me. The major I was going to take, to the clothes I wear and the manners I was taught at a young age. To take the company and make it mine in the future. Everything was planned from the beginning but you.” He let out a breathy laugh.

“You were unexpected. You came into my life like a dream. From the moment you appeared in front of me to the time we are at right now. A dream that I could’ve only imagined ever having. Everything I was before, the person I was, he was a coward more than anything but you taught him how to be strong and you were right.”

Satoru’s eyes carried a mixture of fondness and tears that pooled and were ready to overflow any second. The gloss in his sky blue windows of the soul blended with the twinkle of the chandelier made it look like he carried the moon and stars in his eyes. “What was I right about?” He asked, biting his lower lip to contain his emotions. 

“The universe was trying to set it up perfectly so that we would meet in a bathroom at a rancid college party.” Suguru smiled. 

Just like that, Satoru got up from his seat after putting the glass of champagne down and grabbed Suguru’s hand. The boy pulled his hand towards the door and into the hallway of the hotel and walked towards the back door that led to the pool where nobody was there, he continued to pull the boy towards the more dimly lit part of the pool cabana. The cold breeze of the night pushed past Suguru’s body.

When they finally reached the cabana, Satoru turned to look at Suguru and once that first tear rolled down his cheek, it was like the sea overflowed and the roaring waters crashed into an unbroken stream of sobs. It made Suguru’s eyes moist with tears too, seeing the boy break down like that. 

“Suguru, you idiot.” The white haired boy muttered through his cries. Curling his fingers into a fist, Satoru lightly punched Suguru’s chest. “When the hell did you come up with all of that?” 

The black haired boy chuckled, tears streaming down his face as he licked his lips and just stood  there. “I don’t know.”

Satoru finally looked up and let out a shaky breath. “When I said I wanted a fancy confession, I didn’t expect it to be like that! Everything you said was more perfect than I could’ve ever imagined.” The two boys shared a brief laugh before he continued. 

“How do you manage to look so beautiful even when you look like a mess?”

“I ask myself that question every damn day.” The white haired boy cried before he wrapped his arms around Suguru’s waist and pulled him into a kiss. Heat rose to their cheeks and the kiss was sloppy, mixed with salty tears and the shakiness of their lips but it was more than blissful. Both boys chasing that electric feeling that coursed through their entire body, the lightning that sparked and pooled at the bottom of their bellies to the tip of their heads. Fingers travelled from Suguru’s cheek to underneath his shirt, cold fingers resting and tickling his waist as they angled their heads better to capture another kiss. 

Both boys pulled back to catch their breaths, foreheads resting against each other. “I think I fell in love with you in the bathroom. Our first kiss. I always knew it, the second I couldn’t stop thinking about you. The second I saw you again, the second my soul knew.”

Suguru giggled at that cheesy statement before touching the boy’s lips. “The moon.” He said. “I can see it in your eyes.” 

The party was still going on in the ballroom but the two boys decided that they would just sit at the cabana and enjoy some alone time together. He had felt this feeling before, in the bathroom at the party. Legs tangled together in the small bathtub, two boys intoxicated by a whole bottle of whiskey by themselves and how it was only a wooden door that separated them from the outside world and their own realities. 

They had their fingers intertwined, held tightly together. Their palms started to sweat some time ago but they refused to let go. Suguru brought their hands to his lips and gave a soft kiss on his knuckles, earning a laugh from Satoru who just continued with his topic. 

“Suguru.” The familiar voice called out to him and he whipped his head to the direction of the voice. His mother stood there, fiddling with her fingers and her wedding ring. She looked back and forth at the two boys and sighed. “Your father is looking all over for you.”

❀

The party ended a little over two hours later and his father had told him to come home that night for a talk and Suguru reluctantly agreed. For the last time, he was going to say what he wanted and that was it. It was time he took over his own life because unlike his parents, Satoru loved him and Suguru promised himself that for as long as their hearts continued beating, he would never be weak again. “Your father looked like he was going to send a hitman my way.” 

They arrived at Satoru’s dorm to drop him off and he leaned in to give Suguru a kiss on the cheek at the doorway. “I won’t let him do that.”

The white haired boy laughed. “Well, duh. Imagine another man paying so much attention to your boyfriend.” He teased Suguru's lips for a second before walking into his dorm. “I’ll text you later.”

The second he arrived home, he could feel the murderous aura radiating from inside the house that spread out and engulfed the whole residence. Suguru sighed deeply before switching the engine off and entered the house only to see his father sitting on the couch with a glass of whiskey in his hand. It was already late into the night, sometime before midnight but he was too lazy to check, all he knew was if the conversation couldn’t wait until the morning then he knew he messed up big time. 

The old Suguru would be overthinking over the fact he screwed something up and had to ready himself to get a yell or a slap, threats thrown his way but the new Suguru couldn’t care any less than he already did. He closed the door behind him and glanced at his mother who sat next to her beloved husband.

“Sit.” His father ordered, not even looking up and Suguru took a seat at the couch opposite his parents. “Where were you the whole night? I had people I wanted to introduce to you.”

The boy had to hold back from rolling his eyes so far back, his eyeballs would get stuck. “Why ask such an obvious question? I was with Satoru.” 

Still not looking up, he took a sip of his whiskey. “I told you, Suguru. One more slip up and you know what is going to happen to you. Do you enjoy being a rebel? Disobeying your father?”

Now this made Suguru laugh, he couldn’t keep it in anymore. His mother widened her eyes and looked back and forth at the two men. “In order to do that, one has to actually play the role of the father, right? Who played that role?”

“Suguru.” His mother’s voice echoed in his ear. “Take this conversation seriously.”

He couldn’t believe his ears, laughing again, he leaned back into the couch and crossed his legs. “I won’t continue whatever legacy you want to keep so much. I’ll live my life the way I want to live my life and you can stay with your husband.” Suguru rolled his eyes. “The husband who doesn’t give a shit about you, only his name and himself. You know what, both of you really suit each other in a way. One is a narcissistic asshole and the other is just in it for the asshole’s money.”

This got his father to look up as he threw the glass towards Suguru who swiftly dodged fast enough. His father got up from his seat and grabbed Suguru’s collar forcefully. “You’re crossing the line, son .” Suguru could only laugh at the word that was spat out with much venom. Even the way his father referred to him as son sounded so forced and fake, it was obvious he never did care about Suguru but he knew this. He’s known this all his life. 

“That Gojo boy.” His father said with a smirk on his face. “It didn’t take much to look into his past. Men who stoop that low to earn a couple hundred dollars, do you really think will not grab the first opportunity they see? You don’t really think he likes you, do you, Suguru?” The boy clenched his jaw and stared at his father who still had a hold on his collar, wrinkling the fabric. 

The old man chuckled. “I thought you were smarter than that.”

Chapter Text

Suguru swatted his father’s hand away and got up from the couch. “Don’t you fucking dare. You don’t know him.”

“One day he’s going to get seriously hurt and whose fault would that be?” It was his turn to grab his father by the collar and his mother finally jumped out her seat and tried to pull her son away. 

“He’s not just going to get hurt but he’s going to hurt you in the process.”

Suguru squeezed the collar tighter until his knuckles turned white, looking at the face of the man who caused him the most pain in his life. “You lay a hand on Satoru and I promise you, that’s the last time you’ll eat solid food for the rest of your goddamn life.” His mother touched his shoulder, thinking it’d stop him but it only made Suguru angrier. 

Of course when his father laid hands on him, she stood and watched but the second he did the same she had to step in and try to calm the situation down. She will always be on his father’s side no matter what and Suguru had enough. 

“That threat would’ve worked on me a couple months ago but now it’s just getting old. I’m not scared anymore, father .” Shoving his father back, he took a step forward and smirked. “I’ll leave then so you and your mistresses or other side bitches you have can make a lot of babies and you can pick and choose from one of them instead.”

“Suguru!” His mother cried, tears pooling in her eyes and usually it would work. All his life, he knew his mother despised him anyway and he was foolish enough to think that he could save her one way or another. Protect her from his father but the longer he thought about it, he was tired. He had been begging them to love him since he was a kid but he never did receive any no matter how much he tried. The highest grade in school didn’t do the trick, the awards he won never seemed to be enough.

He remembered eight year old Suguru crying, covering his ears behind his door because of all the screaming and hearing his name being thrown everywhere. He remembered 11 year old Suguru come home with a medal he received for being number one in his class but all he came home to was his mother passed out on her bed with a pill bottle next to her, foam forming in her mouth and the screams he let out that day, causing the housekeeper and Mr Kim to come rushing towards the room. 

He remembered 13 year old Suguru defending his mother from his aunts who called her cheap and how she was lazy. He called his aunts ugly and jabbed at their failing marriages only to receive a slap moments later and only to hear his mother sob to one of the housekeepers that she wanted to die and she would take Suguru down with her if it was the last thing she did. He tried to wipe all of that out from his memory but it was all crashing down on him at once and finally he remembered just months ago, before the party, his mother had begged him in his room to apologize to his father and when he told her to run away, she laughed at his face and said she couldn’t do it. The same day he went to the party, the same day he met Satoru. 

The day he met Satoru and how the white haired boy with ocean blue eyes looked at him. How he cupped his cheeks and told him he was strong, a stranger who he had never met before, even when he knew deep down he wasn’t but the look in Satoru’s eyes made him think otherwise. 

Suguru walked up to his room, ignoring his name being yelled at and took a duffel bag out from his closet and started shoving clothes into the bag. He took out his phone and car keys from his pockets and thought about it before throwing his keys on the bed and hurled his phone at the wall until the glass shattered and it was reduced to pieces of components. He took one last look at his room and laughed before slamming the door shut and skipping down the stairs. 

His parents looked at him and when his mother laid eyes on the bag, her face painted in panic. “Where do you think you’re going?” His father asked, eyes squinted at the bag.

The boy walked towards his parents and took his wallet out, taking his credit cards from it, he chucked it at his father’s feet. “Mom.” She was now sobbing, holding onto her son’s shirt and shaking her head. “I tried.”

One last look at his father before smirking, he walked out the house and never looked back. He looked at Mr Kim who only gave him a smile before motioning the boy over to the car. 

“Young master. If I may, for one last time, drive you to where you want to go.” Suguru chuckled and nodded his head. 

Three knocks. 

It took three knocks for Satoru to open the door and he was shocked to see his boyfriend standing in front of him with a duffel bag and backpack on his body. “Hey. Is everything okay?”

“I left.” Satoru pulled his boyfriend in the dorm and locked the door, he then pulled Suguru in a tight hug. Fisting his shirt and burying his face in Suguru’s shoulder. “This is going to sound sad and slightly pathetic on my end but can I stay-”

Before he could finish his question, Satoru lifted his boyfriend’s chin and planted a kiss on his lips. They got lost in the kiss before Suguru felt Satoru’s hands travel towards his thighs and before he knew it, his legs were locked around the boy’s waist. 

“Please stay with me forever, Suguru.” 

His cheeks flushed red. He should’ve been used to all Satoru’s sweet words but everytime he said something that sounded like a captivating melody in his ear, he couldn’t help but blush and get goosebumps. 

“And they were roommates?” He teased, eyes glossing over Suguru’s lips.

Suguru rolled his eyes and cupped the boy's cheeks, giving him another deep kiss that eventually led them to the room.

❀

The days turned into weeks and weeks turned into two months of Suguru staying at Satoru’s and he honestly never felt more comfort and more love in his life than living with him. He would wake up to Satoru’s soft snores in the early morning and he would go to sleep with Satoru pulling him in, making Suguru the big spoon. 

Sometimes he would wake up in the dark starry night at 3am and would see Satoru sitting at the edge of the bed, body hunched as his face was covered in his palms. He remembered Satoru telling him about his insomnia and how he used to rely on sleeping pills and alcohol to knock him out, but he promised Suguru he wouldn’t be so dependent on them anymore.

He knew Satoru tried hard to keep the promise, he hadn’t touched an alcoholic drink nor taken sleeping pills to help him sleep. He also knew it was hard for the boy, he would catch him sneaking glances at the pill bottles when they’d brush their teeth together in the bathroom. 

“Satoru.” He whispered, hands wrapped around his boyfriend’s shoulders. The white haired boy lifted his head and looked at him on his side of the bed. Suguru kissed his shoulder blades and squeezed his arms. “Come back to bed.”

The white haired boy crawled on bed and scooted closer before wrapping his arms around Suguru. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, silly.”

Other times, Suguru would have nightmares, nightmares he thought was way in his past behind him but managed to crawl back in his subconscious. This was one of those days. He woke up in cold sweat only to find Satoru sleeping soundly next to him, his white hair covering his eyes and hands around Suguru’s waist. 

His heartbeat began to go back to normal and his hands stopped shaking. He then laid back down and turned his head towards the boy, smiling at how beautiful he looked. How calm and soundly he was sleeping.

I’m glad he could sleep tonight. He thought to himself. Suguru brushed Satoru’s hair out of his face and placed a soft kiss on his temple before whispering in his boyfriend’s ear. “I love you.”

Satoru’s eyes fluttered open, catching the boy by surprise and shooting him a loving smile. Satoru took his hand and brought it to his lips, his hot breath resting on Suguru’s knuckles. “I love you too.” 

❀

Shoko plopped herself on Suguru’s couch. “I can’t believe you left your family and dropped out. It’s so boring without you.”

The boy shrugged. “I’m sorry I’m not there to silently judge rich people with you?”

Shoko huffed a bang out from her face and crossed her arms, eyeing Suguru’s tired eyes but felt relieved he was doing okay at least. Satoru continued studying of course, they decided that the white haired boy had no reason to drop out too even if he said he would help with the money.

Suguru bonked his head and told him if two of them were working, it would bring up some problems and since Satoru loved what he was studying, he shouldn’t sacrifice his own happiness for Suguru. He would never let the boy do that. 

“Gojo has been bothering Nanami non stop talking about you. Poor boy is going insane.” Hiding a blush, he just sat next to her and she began talking about her relationship with Utahime instead. “So, get this-”

Shoko would often visit the dorm from time to time to catch up and for the first couple weeks, she’d spill some hot gossip surrounding the upper class and how his father was the talk of the town. 

Getting the job at a fancy restaurant was harder than Suguru thought but he quickly picked up what he had to do plus they pay well and he’s been working there for two months since. He also worked part time as a personal trainer on the weekends at the gym for extra money and he enjoyed every second of that. 

December came around pretty fast as snow started falling onto the pavement and people were starting to use heaters instead of air conditioners. Suguru was at work in his waiter uniform that consisted of a plain white dress shirt and black slacks, smiling at customers and getting their order. 

Waving his co-workers goodbye, he decided to not take the car that day since the weather looked promising and he just wanted to have a little walk to the gym instead. The night was chilly, his head shielded with a beanie and his hands covered with thick gloves he borrowed from Satoru. 

He was always looking forward to December since he found out his boyfriend was born on the 7th of the month and that was only a week away from then. He wanted to do something nice since he hadn’t celebrated his birthday since his mother passed away, maybe it was time he replaced the sad memory with a happier one.

Suguru kept walking towards the gym that was a couple blocks down from his restaurant and when he arrived, he quickly changed before stretching his body and hopping onto the treadmill. 

“Geto!” 

He turned his head to the side and smiled when his eyes landed on Toji, the same Toji who owned the club and also someone who took Satoru in when he wanted to. He met Toji one day when he was working out and doing his reps, finding out the man worked out at the same gym too and they quickly became good acquaintances. “Of course I’d see you working out during winter of all seasons.”

Suguru smiled and continued to run on the machine, slowing it down a notch to keep up a conversation. “Could say the same thing about you.” The two men laughed and continued to work out side by side with their cardio. 

“This body doesn’t magically appear sculptured by the Gods like magic.” Toji taunted. “His birthday is coming up soon, any plans? Get some condoms and make him dinner and have a great day.”

“Sometimes I wonder how similar the both of you are in terms of how you two have the same humor.” Suguru teased.

Toji burst out laughing, shaking his head as he thought about it for a second. “He’ll love anything you do for him. He’s so starstruck in love, it’s nauseating.” He looked to the side with a worried look. “Fuck, that sounded wrong. That wasn’t a homophobic comment by the way.”

Suguru finally let out a loud laugh. 

After two hours at the gym, he took a shower and said his goodbyes to Toji and made his way back home, taking the bus. The second he opened the door to the dorm, he spotted Satoru at the couch with his legs to the side and his head resting on his palm. The boy was asleep, books sprawled all over the coffee table and in his lap. 

Suguru walked towards the closet and took out a blanket before covering his boyfriend’s body and gave a soft kiss on his forehead, causing him to stir in his sleep. “Suguru? You’re back. How was work? What time is it?” Satoru asked, eyes struggling to open no matter how many times he rubbed them. 

“It’s almost one in the morning. Wanna go to bed?” 

Satoru nodded his head, making grabby hands towards the boy and honestly he looked so soft and cozy, Suguru couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of his way too tall boyfriend acting like a baby.  “Carry me.”

The boy rolled his eyes and lifted Satoru bridal style with ease, walking towards the room and dropping him carefully on the bed. He planted a small kiss on the boy’s forehead. “Damn. I could get used to this every single day.” The white haired boy teased. “You’d be such a great husband.”

Suguru raised an eyebrow. “Thinking of marrying me already, Satoru?”

“Maybe.”

❀

Shoko had her arm around Suguru as they walked on the street, looking at different stores to get Satoru’s birthday present that was the next day. He wanted the gift to be perfect, a symbol of how much he loved Satoru. A present that he would cherish forever and always display it in public so people knew he was Suguru’s.

Of course, Shoko offered to lend him money but he refused aggressively saying he’d kick her if she asked again and she agreed pretty quickly knowing his pride would be hurt if she kept on bugging him about it. 

He had saved up some money of course from his job at the restaurant as well as his part time job and decided he was going to buy Satoru a ring but, as Shoko had mentioned, a ring would be too cliche so he decided to make it into a necklace instead and had already made some arrangements at the store to get it done and was on their way to pick it up.

As they walked into the store, Suguru’s eyes landed on a familiar face and shook his head. “No.” He sternly said, catching the attention of whoever it was he saw. Shoko frowned at the person and held onto Suguru’s arm, pulling the boy out of the store. 

“Geto? Geto Suguru?!” One of the sons of his father’s business partners waved at him, having an arm wrapped around a girl’s waist who looked too busy trying on different rings on her fingers. “It’s been a while.”

“Not long enough.” He said, walking towards the glass boxes and smiled at the worker, a smile he picked up from working at the restaurant when handling fickle customers. “Hi. I’m here to pick up my order. Geto Suguru.”

The woman smiled and asked him to wait a moment as she walked to the back room, giving the boy plenty of time to mock him and glance at him as many times as he wanted. “I suppose that’s for your partner. The person you left the company for.” Suguru mentally told himself to not engage in any unnecessary conversation, biting his tongue down. 

“You know. I found it weird you didn’t want to be his successor but turns out love is more powerful than money after all. Very inspiring, don’t you think? It was the same guy from the engagement party, right? I knew something was off when I saw him. He looked a bit soft.”

Suguru clenched his fist and turned his head, casting a fake smile towards the boy’s direction. “Say my boyfriend is soft one more time and I’ll crack your skull on this glass table.” A smile still plastered on his face, knowing he made the boy uncomfortable.

The woman came back from the room and handed him the box with the two ring necklaces and asked him to inspect them if they were to his liking and the second Suguru opened the tiffany box, all his worries dissipated as his eyes landed on the two beautiful chains. He was then reminded of Satoru and his smile, feeling excited to see his reaction when he sees the gift and all that pent up frustration faded away.

“I hope we’ll never see each other again.” Suguru said. “By the way, I heard that your father is choosing your younger brother to be his successor instead, you must be very embarrassed being demoted like that. Enjoy second place.” Was the last thing he said to the boy and when he saw a shift in expressions, he patted himself on the back mentally and walked out the store.

Shoko, on the other hand, flipped the boy off and laughed at his face. “Suck it!” The two best friends walked out with their hands still glued to each other, laughing at the events that just occurred. 

Damn, he really needed to move out of the city. There were too many familiar faces.

❀

The clock showed 11:30pm, just half an hour before Satoru’s birthday and he tried to hide the gift as well as he could the whole day. Having kept it in his clothes drawer and always double checking every two hours to see if Satoru noticed. 

They had just finished dinner, eating the usual chinese food takeout with a show playing on tv. Satoru was in the kitchen, it was his turn to wash the dishes and clean up while Suguru sat on the couch. He didn’t know how Satoru would react on his birthday. Obviously, it was a bad memory for him but Suguru wanted to change that into something beautiful and something Satoru would always look forward to from then on. 

Satoru sat on the couch and snuggled into Suguru’s chest and let out a yawn. “You’re really warm.” He covered the both of them in a blanket and reached out for the remote, browsing different shows to watch. “Christmas movie, another Christmas movie. Damn, it’s literally the first week of December.”

Suguru shrugged. “Why don’t we get a christmas tree?” His boyfriend lifted his head to face him and snorted, repeating what he said in a mocking tone. “I’m being serious. We could get a small one and decorate it too. I’ve never decorated a tree before, the housekeepers usually did it for us and I’d wake up to everything being done.”

The boy chuckled, realizing that it wasn’t a joke and Suguru was dead serious. “Okay. We’ll get a small tree and some ornaments and we can decorate them together. We’ll call it, Suguru’s first tree.”

He leaned down to kiss Satoru’s lips and nodded. “I like that. I like all my firsts with you.”

Satoru cocked an eyebrow. “Oh?” He said in a menacing tone. “Your first keg party, your first kiss with a man. Your first tree. Your first time in bed with a man.” Suguru clicked his tongue and started blushing hard, whipping his head to the side to cover his giddy expression only to be pulled back by Satoru who was laughing. “Come on! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He laughed again, trying to pull Suguru down to give him another kiss. 

Suguru glanced at the clock and got up from the couch, walking towards the room. The white haired boy pouted on the couch, thinking he said something wrong and called out to his boyfriend. “Suguru!” The whining started. “I was just cheesing with you!” 

The boy emerged from the bedroom and leaned against the door frame, looking at Satoru with a smirk on his face. “I know, silly. Scoot over.”

Satoru looked confused but obliged and sat up from his position to give him some space. He looked at the clock again and saw both hands standing at the number 12, he looked over to Satoru and leaned in. The two boys kissed on the couch, Satoru’s hands crawling under Suguru’s shirt to rest on his hips as Suguru buried his fingers in the boy’s white hair. 

“Happy birthday.” Satoru widened his eyes and pulled back only for Suguru to fish out the tiffany box from his pocket and hand him the tiny blue box. The white haired boy took the box and examined it, he looked up and his eyes started glossing. “Don’t just stare. Open it.”

Satoru scrambled to open the box, lips curled into a smile which quickly faded when he laid eyes on the necklace. “What.” He whispered. “Suguru. Put it on me.” He turned around and Suguru hooked the necklace around his neck, planting a kiss on his shoulder blade. 

He got up from the couch and went over to the mirror in the bathroom, eying the piece of jewelry on his neck. Suguru came into view and tapped his own necklace he quickly put on and in an instant, the blue eyed boy jumped in his arms. “You gotta see what was engraved in.”

The boy widened his eyes and turned the ring to the side and squinted, reading a GS+GS on the inside. He finally cracked, pulling Suguru in the tightest hug he’s ever been engulfed in. “That’s so cheesy! I love it, Suguru!” He pulled back and kissed his boyfriend again and again, peppering kisses on his cheeks and nose. “I love it a lot.”

“I know what your birthday means to you and I wanted to help change that. Your mother would want you to be happy and she’s smiling down on you right now seeing how happy you are. I’m sure of it.”

Satoru’s lips quivered and he leaned on the sink. “You’re so.” He chuckled to himself. “You’re so perfect. Why are you so perfect, Suguru?”

Suguru laughed, wrapping his arms around Satoru’s waist, both boys resting their foreheads on each other. They stood like that for a while, just surrounding themselves with the immense amount of love that overtook their whole body. The soft sounds of the tv playing in the background, the cramped bathroom, Suguru couldn’t help but feel an acquainted sense of familiarity. 

“This feels oddly familiar.”

Satoru chuckled, bringing his finger to lift Suguru’s chin to cup his cheeks as he leaned in. Suguru’s hands instantly flew to his nape to pull him closer. What once was their first kiss that lacked sparks was now replaced with a soaring of electricity through their bodies, giving both boys goosebumps. The butterflies haywire in their tummies as they deepened the kiss, hands trailing on Suguru’s abdomen and resting at the waistband of his pants. 

Suguru once again took the boy’s hand and placed a kiss on his knuckles before they pulled away. “Broke the biggest rule, indeed.”

The black haired boy chuckled and stroked his boyfriend’s chin. “My name’s Geto Suguru by the way.”

Satoru laughed and nodded his head. “I’m Gojo Satoru. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Chapter Text

“Hey mom. I got you your favorite flowers.” Satoru placed the bouquet of daffodils on his mother’s grave, brushing off the leaves that were on her tombstone as he crouched down. “It’s kinda funny how daffodils are a sign that winter is over when it actually just started.” He chuckled, holding onto the stone. “But my winter is now over, mom.” The cold storm that once was weighing down on his chest, it’s over. 

Suguru smiled in his scarf and crouched down beside his boyfriend, holding onto his hand and placing a single yellow lily next to the bouquet. “Mom. This is my boyfriend. You would’ve loved to have met him. He’s really cute and so smart and you’d love the story of how we met. Probably make fun of me for it.” Both boys let out a soft laugh, Satoru still holding onto her stone. “You’d knock me on the head and tell me to get my shit together sooner.”

“Hi, ma’am. I’m Geto Suguru. The boyfriend of the gem right here.” He smiled, feeling the soft breeze wash over his face. “Thank you for giving birth to such a great human being. He’s really kind hearted and funny and it’s never a dull day with him. You raised a good kid.”

Satoru sighed, feeling another breeze brush against his white locks before he let out a soft laugh. “She likes you.” He said a couple more words, mostly a ton of updating his life, his major and how Nanami and Utahime were doing, how Utahime still ruffles his hair and tangles it but he didn’t mind at all. How Nanami would still scold him occasionally but all with good intentions.  before getting up and holding Suguru’s gloved hand. “I miss you mom. I wish you could see where I am now and how I’m doing.”

The two boys began walking out the cemetery when Suguru’s shoulder bumped into a man who was making his way to where they just were and when Satoru looked up to stare the man down for not apologizing, his eyes widened. The man, too, looked up and winced at the shove and wanted to say something but the second his eyes locked onto the white haired boy, he stopped. 

“Satoru?” The woman next to the man called out. Her face contorted into a mixture of relief and panic as she looked over at the man next to her. “Satoru! Stop right there!”

Suguru frowned but managed to put the pieces together. It was December 7th after all, the day of Satoru’s birth but also the day of his mother’s passing and there was only one other person besides Satoru who would pay respects to her during such a day. 

“Let’s go, Suguru.” The boy firmly said, still glaring at the old man. He tugged Suguru’s hand and picked up the pace of his steps towards the exit only to be stopped by an expected call to his name. 

“Satoru!” The man yelled. He stopped in his tracks and looked back. “Please, son.”

That’s how all four of them ended up at Satoru’s dorm. His step mother tried her hardest to persuade the two boys to lunch, ordering takeout and whatnot to catch up with him. She said all the sweetest words to try and convince them and Suguru finally told Satoru to let them have a talk. That much they could do at least. 

“I’m glad you decided to study with all that money you had back then instead of rotting away in the streets like a beggar.” His father said, sitting on the couch and looking around the dorm.

Suguru placed a tray of drinks down on the coffee table and smiled at Satoru. “I’ll be in the room, you guys can talk.” As he started walking, he felt a tug on his fingers and saw Satoru shake his head and whispered to him, telling him to stay.

The action didn’t go unnoticed as his father’s face switched to a suppression of disgust. He gulped down his saliva and tried to pry his eyes away from what he was witnessing. “How are you?” Sounding like asking a simple question was the hardest and most burdensome thing to do, his voice itself ran shivers down Suguru’s spine.

“What is the real reason you want to talk? I left, you got remarried to some rich woman. Everything is fine.” The tone was laced with venom, his eyes glued to his father as his old man did the same. It made Suguru uncomfortable for a bit but then he was reminded of his own parents and how uneasy they made him feel. He could handle this, it was not a new feeling to him after all.

His father cleared his throat. “It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you, is all. Is that any way to speak to your father? After years of not calling, not coming home? You think your mother would want to see the family she tried so hard to keep intact, broken up like that?”

At the mention of his mother, Satoru squeezed down Suguru’s hand hard and so did Suguru, a grasp so tight he was sure the blood stopped flowing to his palms. “You have no right to speak about my mother.”

“Your mother was my wife and she died because of you!”

Suguru frowned and got up from his seat, staring at the old man who came to their dorm without any true purpose of making up with Satoru. He thought they wanted closure but he thought wrong. “We invited you into our home, be it a college dorm or whatever, because we thought you wanted to apologize and move on. So, if the only thing you have to say to your son are meaningless insults then I suggest we end this meeting here.”

His father scoffed, glancing at his wife and got up from his seat too. He was used to this, old men protruding out their chest and looking down on him with those snake eyes of them, sniffing out weakness to tear Suguru down. He’s experienced that before, for all 19 years of his life. 

“I’m not here to argue, boy. I just have some pent up frustration that is directed towards my son. I’ll stop.” 

His wife held her husband’s arm and clicked her tongue, telling him to sit down and both of them did. “We haven’t really officially met have we, Satoru? I was wondering when I’d meet you.” She said, trying to ease the tension that surrounded the small dorm, tension so stretched it could be snapped in any second. 

Satoru hummed, slumping back in his seat. “It’s nice to meet you officially then.” He forced out a smile. “This is Geto Suguru, he’s my boyfriend.”

She looked at Suguru with a shocked face and mouthed an ‘o’ before smiling softly at the boy. Probably a bit shocked to hear someone so outwardly call the boy next to him, his boyfriend. “Do you study here too?”

Suguru shook his head, mirroring the smile she was giving him. “No. I work at the Italian restaurant near the mall and also I’m a personal trainer at the gym.” She nodded her head, leaning forward with her fingers under her chin. At least one person was trying to not start a fight with them, he appreciated that. 

“So why do you live in the dorms? Why don’t you go home?” Suguru glanced at Satoru who looked at him with reassuring eyes. The same eyes that helped him overcome his problems, the same eyes that caught his attention the first day they met. “Wait a minute.”

The two boys glanced at each other with a confused look. “Your dad is that CEO, right?” Suguru winced at the mention of his father. “You’re that boy on the news. The one who dropped the company, couldn’t take the heat as the headlines say but I guess, really, you just got disowned for being gay. You know your spot is now some illegitimate bastard’s spot?” Satoru’s step mother clicked her tongue. “Yeah. Your father apparently had a secret affair many years ago and the boy is now 13 years old, ready to take over the second he steps in college.”

You’re going to another woman’s house and then what? If word comes out, what will you think of your reputation? Your respect? Fucking a 25 year old whore.

“Dear, that’s not a nice topic to bring up.” Satoru’s step mother scolded her husband, looking back at Suguru with soft eyes. “Sorry for that, he doesn’t know when to shut up. Are you okay, Suguru?”

He nodded his head, trying his best to look unbothered. “I already knew that but thanks for worrying about me.”

Satoru gritted his teeth. “I’m feeling a bit tired so I think it’s time you two leave.” He got up from his seat and walked towards the door. “Please. Just fucking leave.”

“Look. I’m sorry, okay? I have a hard time talking to people. I just haven’t seen you in years. I really wanted you to be a part of this new life. Be at the wedding, at least.” His father blurted out, spilling it everywhere like word vomit. “I was a bad father to you, especially after you came out and when your mother was brought to the hospital. I handled it poorly.”

Suguru looked back and forth between the old man and his boyfriend, fiddling with his fingers when he heard Satoru start laughing. “ Poorly. So what is this? Are you going to interrogate me on my relationship? You haven’t even asked me what I’m studying or why I’m studying what I am. You haven’t asked me how I coped with all of it. You don’t care. You only think you’ve changed but you haven’t and deep down I know that you know that you’re still the same asshole you were years ago!”

“Please, Satoru.” He got up and walked towards his son, holding onto his shoulders and shook him slightly. “I’ve rehearsed on what I’d ask you if we were to meet again and I don’t know why it’s not coming out the way I want it to.”

Satoru laughed again, louder this time and it was a sound Suguru never heard in his life come out of the boy’s mouth. The laugh sounded so hurt, it was loud like he was screaming for help.  Suguru stood up and pried the old man off his shoulders. “Leave our place now. While I’m still being nice.”

His father’s eyes darkened, his face distorted into a frown as he pulled his hands quickly and took a step back. As though Suguru touching him was so gross he had to stand 10 feet away. “I can’t believe this. This is the person you keep by your side? He dares touch and threaten your father.”

Suguru was taken aback by the sudden shift in his father’s mood again, from being sad with that pathetic pained look in his face was now switched back to the same man he initially saw. “This is going nowhere.” His step mother finally voiced out, grabbing her handbag, she adjusted her skirt and walked towards the door. “I had hoped for so long that a reunion was what you two needed but apparently I was mistaken. This is all my fault.”

“I’m here to reconcile with my son.”

Satoru rubbed his eyes, so hard the veins in his forehead jutted out. It was like he was going insane and it was clear as day what his father made Satoru feel. He had always thought it was bad but this was way worse than he could’ve ever imagined. Suguru stepped in between the two and held the hem of Satoru’s shirt between his two fingers. “It’s clearly not working.”

“You meddled in everything in my life. The friends I had, saying they were bad influences but they’re the ones who are still by my side till this day. You meddled and blamed me when my grades dropped after mom died, you blamed me for her death for the longest time and you still have the balls to try and meddle in my life now?” Satoru went off behind the boy, his fingers fisting in Suguru’s shirt.

He’s never seen Satoru like that, he’s never seen Satoru so afraid. He never moved from where he stood, keeping his feet glued to the ground. It was obvious the trauma that was caused was too much to bear and the more time went by, the more he was regretting his decision to acknowledge them and bring them to their home.

“Son. I-” His father said, sounding broken as ever, his voice cracking in the process. “I’m sorry.”

He felt how the boy’s hands were shaking behind him. “All those fights I did to help pay for mom’s hospital bills but it was you who hurt me the most at the end of the day. You called me slurs, you knew I was being bullied at school for being gay but you didn’t meddle then. You knew but why didn’t you do anything? When they came to the house and threw red paint on the walls, you blamed me. People called me a murderer at school because they thought I killed my own mother with my disease . Where were you then? Trying to fix whatever we had left before today is pointless. I hope to never see you again from now on.”

His father took a step forward but was shoved back by Suguru. His eyes darkened into something sinister and Suguru was more than mentally prepared to get violent if needed but he held back when he felt Satoru's fingers hold him tighter. “Leave.” 

❀

Suguru jolted up from his sleep, looking around the room when he suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. The events of that day kept repeating in his head, sweat pooling on his forehead and his philtrum. He widened his eyes when he tapped the empty space next to him, whipping his head so fast he got up from the bed and rushed towards the bathroom. 

He opened the door only to find it empty. He swung open the mirror cabinet and looked through the pill bottles and felt light headed when he realized a bottle missing from its place. Looking at the shoes at the doorway, he noticed a pair of missing shoes. Not just any shoes but Satoru’s running shoes. He hurriedly took his phone from the bedside table only to find the car keys missing from the bowl next to the front door. 

“Shit.” He muttered to himself. Looking at the time on his phone, it was 3am. 

He decided to run.

He ran as fast as he could, heading to one place and one place only that he knew Satoru might be. The roads were empty and the cold mist sent shivers down his spine as he was breaking out in a lake of sweat. Trying multiple times to call his phone to nothing, straight to voicemail. His next go was to call Toji, running out of breath with shaky hands he typed the man’s name on the keyboard and he picked up after five rings. 

“Geto. Do you know what fucking time it is?”

“Is Satoru with you?”

There was a pause on the other end when he heard rustling. “No. Why?”

“He’s not at the club?”

“It’s closed. Cops came in a couple days ago so we're taking a short break while everything gets sorted out. What do you mean where is Satoru? Where are you now?” 

It took Toji approximately 10 minutes to get to where Suguru was, sitting at a bus stop that was near the gym. He stopped the car right in front of Suguru and the boy hopped in. “Any ideas where he could be?”

Suguru hunched down, covering his sweat soaked face in his palms. All he wanted for Satoru’s birthday was for him to replace a tragic memory with a memory that he could smile about when he thought of it. Meeting Satoru’s father and finally realizing the impact that man had on him opened his eyes to so much more, something deeper rooted in Satoru’s life that was totally unaware about. 

He never wanted to see Satoru that upset ever again, the look in his eyes and the way his hands continued shaking even after they left, him trying to calm the boy down. He hugged Satoru for three hours to calm him down, soft pats on his back and kisses on his cheeks and hands until he fell asleep.

Is this the place you go to when you disappear?

Whipping his head to look at Toji, startling the man a little bit, he knew exactly where Satoru was and the second he told Toji where he might be, the man stepped on the gas and they were off. Not a word was spoken in the car, just Suguru’s fidgeting and Toji tapping his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel.

Arriving at record breaking speed, Suguru got out of the car and the second he spotted a familiar black car, he ran towards the sandy shore. “Satoru!” He yelled out the boy’s name, but nobody answered. “Satoru! Answer me!”

Toji followed closely behind after checking the boy’s car to see if he was inside. He then began to call out Satoru’s name, walking the other direction of where Suguru was headed.

“Satoru!” His voice started shaking, Suguru ignored the tears rolling down his cheeks and didn’t care about what a commotion he was making. All he needed to know was that Satoru was there and he was okay and they could go back together. That’s all that mattered. “Satoru!” He cried out  again, feeling the lump on his throat growing bigger and bigger, his legs starting to get weak from all the running. 

The beach was empty on that winter day, Satoru nowhere to be seen. 

Now, they say there’s a fifth moon but that moon is always the hardest to find no matter how hard you look for it. 

It was cold and Suguru was only wearing a black t-shirt with sweatpants and sneakers, goosebumps forming all over his body as he walked the cold and windy beach, calling out over and over again for his boyfriend. His lover. 

He could hear Toji call out his boyfriend’s name too, the man’s voice echoing in the area. Suguru dropped to the ground and clutched his chest, the stress getting too much for him to handle. Cold sweat went down his spine and he could physically feel his knees give out. “Satoru.” He whispered, eyes closed shut as he tried to withstand the cold, fog coming out his mouth every time he breathed.

Why do I have a feeling you’ve found it.

He forced himself up, dusting off his knees and continued walking. He walked and walked to the other side of the beach, the part where it was too dark to see at night. Pitch black, it always left Suguru feeling uneasy whenever they’d walk along the shore together. Suguru had a feeling so he picked up the pace and ran in the dark, taking his phone out to flash some light.

His heartbeat quickening, hearing Toji call out to Suguru’s name this time. The boy walked deep into the darkness when he smelled it. Alcohol and the putrid smell of puke, his eyes widened when he saw him.

Satoru was laying face down on the sand, still breathing but laying in a pool that looked like vomit and smelled like a mixture of alcohol. Judging from the two empty bottles surrounding his body, he knew. “Satoru!” He called out. 

Toji finally caught up and covered his mouth when he realized what he was looking at. Fishing his phone out, he quickly dialled emergency services and told them his friend had passed out and he wasn’t waking up. 

Suguru dropped to his knees again and cradled Satoru’s head, seeing the foam of saliva form in his mouth that dripped on his chin. He shook the boy’s body to try and wake him up. He looked closely and saw bruises on his cheeks and his knuckles were red, some cuts could be seen. Red tainting the color of his skin.

“Please, no.” He rocked the boy back and forth in his arms. Ignoring the vomit that was starting to stain his shirt, he finally had Satoru in his arms when he felt his chest slowly rise and fall. The boy was alive and he was breathing very slowly, his eyes remained shut. “Don’t leave me.”

Toji was told to stay on the phone until help arrived but the expression on his face couldn’t be hidden. The man was terrified. “Hurry up!” He yelled into the phone. “Don’t tell me to calm down, my friend needs help! Get your fucking ass over here now!”

Who knows how long he was laying there, in the cold, in one of the darkest nights Suguru had ever seen. It was laughable, how life gives you so much happiness only for it to last a short while, comical how a person cannot have a good day without worrying if they used up all their luck and the next day was going to be the same good day. 

It was pure evil how Satoru disappeared again that night. What was even deranged was, that night, on December 7th, the moon never showed itself in the sky.

Chapter Text

The nurses and doctor ran with Satoru on a stretcher, Suguru tried to keep up with the pace but he was bumping into people and starting to get out of breath quickly. Toji right behind him as he tried to slow Suguru down, telling him to let the doctors do their job. The boy huffed and wiped the sweat that trickled down his forehead and sighed deeply. He noticed a nurse walk up to him and handed something, placing it in his palm.

“I’m sorry but this snapped when they were trying to bring him out of the ambulance.” She casted a soft pity smile before following her fellow doctors to the emergency room. Suguru looked down in his hand and let out a suppressed laugh, his watery eyes blurring his vision. The necklace he gave Satoru was in his hand with the chain snapped but he didn’t care, pressing it onto his chest.

You could buy another ring, replace a chain but you couldn’t buy a lover. He couldn’t replace Satoru. 

They waited until the sun rose to the sky, until the pitch black night turned blue and white. Suguru never moved from his spot even when the doctors told him Satoru was fine and was on an oxygen monitor and was intubated. Saying the boy was severely dehydrated and pumping his stomach was not an option, having swallowed a whole bottle of pills and two bottles of beer. He also threw up which was another bad sign and the doctor went to tell him that it was pure luck they found him when he did. If he had been found any later, even an hour later, it would be close to impossible to bring him back.

He wasn’t allowed to see his boyfriend yet, maybe some time in the evening but Suguru insisted he stayed, he fought some nurses and doctors who told him to go home and take a shower and rest while waiting for the boy to wake. Toji stood next to him the whole night, bringing him drinks and staying as quiet as he could but had to leave sometime in the morning due to some business he had to attend to, promising to be back as soon as he could.

Suguru heard the voices of Utahime and the rest of the group getting closer and when he lifted his head, he spotted the worried girl running towards him.

“Geto! What the fuck happened?” Utahime asked, eyes full of anxiousness and her hair messy from running in winter without a cap on. “Is he awake?”

The boy shook his head. Shoko sat next to him, holding onto his shoulder and rubbing his back. “What happened?” It was Nanami’s turn to ask. The boy, unlike Utahime, was more pissed than he was worried for his friend. He looked angry, his jaw clenched. “He tried again, didn’t he?”

Suguru frowned. “Again?”

Looking at Suguru with a shock expression, he realized what he said. “Fuck. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No. Tell me, Nanami. What do you mean again?"

The blonde boy looked at the group and sighed deeply, his eyebrows tensed together. "He tried it once when he stayed with me. He was 18 then. I thought everything was fine, he started to look fine. He met you!” Nanami pointed at Suguru. “He met you and he was so fucking happy. Fuck, Geto I’ve never- I’ve never seen him so happy so why?”

His lips quivered and his hold tightened around the snapped chain still in his palms. “His dad.” Suguru muttered under his breath. “His dad showed up. He said he wanted to apologise so I brought him to our dorm and it was so scary, Nanami. You should've seen his dad, how he looked at us.” 

Utahime gasped, looking at Nanami and Haibara. “That fucking rat?” Nanami was furious, fists curled into balls. “Apologise? That man doesn’t fucking apologise, he’s sick in the head. There’s a short circuit in his fucking brain, not an ounce of empathy, trust me. This isn't the first time he caused a scene because he tried to apologise.”

“What have I done? I was the one who brought him into our home. I should've noticed sooner and figured out as much." Suguru covered his face and pressed down on his eyes. “He was shaking so much, hiding behind me and holding onto me. I tried to protect him. Fuck. Fuck!”

Shoko bit her lower lip. “Hey. Look at me. It’s not your fault. It’s not his fault either, it’s his father’s fault.” Haibara nodded his head, crouching in front of the boy and placed his hand on Suguru’s knee. “Satoru will wake up and the both of you will go through it together. What was it you called yourselves?”

“The strongest, right?” Haibara interjected, smiling at Suguru which caused the boy to force his hands away from his face and replied with a soft smile of his own. “You should go home and shower. Have you eaten anything?” 

Suguru shook his head. “Go and eat something at home and you can come back. We’ll be here and if he wakes up, we’re calling you right away.” Shoko reassured him.

"But-"

"We promise, we'll call." She squeezed his shoulder.

❀

The dorm felt different, the walls felt like they were closing in on him in a suffocating death trap. He discarded his dirty, vomit stained shirt and chucked it in the sink to hand wash it instead, giving him something to distract his mind. He hopped into the shower and felt the warm water flow all over his body, he was suddenly reminded of the cold air and the goosebumps that attacked his body the night before and almost lost his balance, propping himself to the wall. 

He couldn’t cry, he had been crying the whole night and he was now dried up, all he felt was anger directed towards himself.

He couldn’t protect Satoru, the simplest thing and yet he failed. He didn’t care that his friends tried to soothe his nerves, he knew it was his fault. He thought maybe if he had kicked them out sooner or if he raised his voice higher, the whole situation could be avoided. Why was he such a coward?

About 15 minutes later, he was at the sink, washing his shirt when he looked up in the mirror to see his puffed up eyes and red nose. He looked terrible, even after a shower, he still looked worn out. He glanced at the toothbrushes in front of him and smiled to himself, feeling a lump getting stuck in his throat. 

“Your toothbrush is the blue one and mine is purple!” Satoru handed the boy his own toothbrush, a symbol that they were staying together. The whole hidden message that the simple hygienic tool carried. 

Suguru scoffed, placing his toothbrush in the cup next to the sink and Satoru beamed. “It’s official. We’re finally living together, Suguru.” He wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist and placed a kiss on Suguru’s cheek. 

“You have such a unique way of thinking.” Suguru said, poking the boy’s forehead. “Does putting my toothbrush in the cup have to be so grand?”

Satoru nodded. “To other people, it’s just a toothbrush and a cup but to me, it’s a way of saying that you’re here, you’re really next to me and I’m never letting you go.” Suguru chuckled. 

“Of course, only you would think about something so cheesy.” 

Suguru hunched over the sink, clutching tightly to his soaked shirt. He promised Satoru. He promised him that he would never have to drink or fight ever again as long as Suguru was there, he didn’t have to feel alone. He felt so defeated and that’s when his phone rang in his pocket.

Two days went by quickly, Satoru began stabilizing and instead of being on a ventilator, he could breathe by himself shortly after he woke up. Only staying to be monitored for any further complications. Suguru thanked the doctors and spent the next 48 hours by his side, never leaving his boyfriend alone. 

One thing about Satoru was, he never spoke more than three words. No matter how many times Suguru asked him if he was okay or if the boy needed anything, he would get a grunt or a shoulder shrug. He understood why and gave the boy some space, hoping it would be different once they got home back to the routine but it never did. 

The second they reached the dorm, Satoru went to the room to sleep on the bed. The next day, he woke up to eat but said nothing the whole time only to go back to the room, ignoring Suguru telling him he loved him before heading to work. He knew Nanami and Utahime would check on him so he didn’t mind going back to work because he would be monitored but something lingered in his heart that it didn’t feel right. 

A couple days went by and Suguru unlocked the door to the dorm only to see Nanami at their dining table, tapping away on his laptop keyboard. “Hey.”

“Sorry, my shift ended a bit later today.” Nanami waved him off and started packing up his stuff. “So, how was he today?”

The boy got up from his seat and nodded his head, pointing towards the room. “He’s asleep, I think.” He really appreciated Nanami for all that he’s done, coming to the dorm right after his part time job to look out for Satoru and to make sure he took his medication properly and on time, making sure he ate something. Nanami waved at him, walking towards the bedroom door and knocked once before opening the door.

“Gojo, I'm going.” He heard Satoru grunt and took it as a goodbye before leaving the place. The dorm fell silent once again, Suguru sighing, taking his clothes off and throwing them in the washing machine. Shuffling through clothes to wear to bed, he heard a shuffle on the bed before feeling cold hands circle his waist and the new chain necklace he had replaced, pressed against his back.

He widened his eyes in shock, a bit dramatic to say the least but could you blame him? He had missed the boy’s soft touch and the feeling of his lips giving small tiny kisses on Suguru’s shoulders after a long day’s work. He turned around and cupped the boy’s cheeks and placed a kiss on his forehead, brushing his white locks away from his forehead that had already reached his eyebrows. “What do you think about watching a movie after I take a shower? I’ll make some butter popcorn.”

Satoru pondered for a while but nodded eventually.

❀

Suguru stepped out from the shower and was wiping his hair down when he saw Satoru already on the couch all curled up in a blanket and two mugs of hot chocolate were already prepared on the coffee table. He chuckled and walked over, kissing the boy again and God he missed it. 

“I’ll make that popcorn now.” Suguru told him, already opening the bag with scissors when he heard a slow mutter of his name being called. He looked at Satoru and cocked his head to the side. “What’s wrong?”

Satoru bit his lower lip and got up from the couch, standing in front of Suguru. He knew the boy wanted to say something, he looked like it was going to burst out any moment now. He gave the boy his time, to go at his own pace. 

“I fucked up.” Satoru started. “I messed up big time and I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to go through something like that. Fuck, you must’ve been so scared.” His voice was shaky when he tried to convey the message and Suguru dropped everything he was doing to hold onto the boy’s shoulders and pulled him in a tight hug. 

“It’s not your fault. I told you, didn’t I? You’re not alone anymore. You'll never be alone ever again.” Whatever it was, Suguru was going to do anything and everything. “You don’t have to apologise, you’re here now, aren’t you? Remember what you said to me before? I have my Satoru back, don’t I? I’d do anything for you, you know that.” He tried to give the most sincere smile to hide how his eyes stung from holding in the tears. 

Satoru finally looked into Suguru’s eyes and his lips trembled. “Anything?” 

Suguru didn’t know where the conversation was going but the sudden acceleration of his heart beat and the anxiety pooling in his stomach was a bad indicator. “Satoru-”

“Then leave me, Suguru.”

The earth stopped rotating, there was only ringing in his ears. That high pitched sound that could make a person go mad, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Suffocating in his own house, his shared place with his lover. No matter how many times he tried to inhale for air it was like someone was blocking his airway and he started feeling light headed. 

This couldn’t be happening, Suguru was sure the boy was fine. That they were fine. That they could finally take a step forward, he was sure of it. What went wrong? 

“What?”

Was all he could say. He tried to hold his tears back, a different kind of emotion now engulfed his whole body. “You want some alone time? I can leave the dorm for a couple hours and come back. Maybe I’ll head to the store and buy some popcorn instead, a different brand?” He started speaking nonsense, his head unable to process anything and his body frozen in time. He started getting cold sweats and could feel it run down his spine. 

Satoru stood there, unmoving. He looked down at Suguru with lifeless eyes as if waiting for Suguru to come back to reality. “Suguru.” A cold voice that matched his icy cold blue eyes sent shivers throughout Suguru’s body. 

“I’ll head to the store, you just sit here and choose what movie you want to watch.” Suguru’s legs finally cooperated and moved towards the room to fetch his wallet and car keys but was stopped when another call to his name was heard, this time louder than the last time. He looked back at the boy and the dam broke in his eyes. He was still in denial, trudging towards the bed side table and shoving the wallet in his sweatpants pocket but when he wanted to leave the room, Satoru blocked the doorway. 

“Suguru. You're not listening to me.”

He just couldn’t understand. He didn’t want to face reality, he wanted to pretend he never heard what he said but with Satoru standing there looking broken and miserable, he couldn’t help but cry harder. “Why?” He whispered. “Don’t do this.”

Satoru shut his eyes, fingers rubbing his temples as he too was about to break. His voice shook once again, stuttering trying to just let it all out. “Leave, Suguru.”

“But I love-”

“Don’t. Please don’t say it. Don’t make this harder than it is.” Satoru clenched his fists on his ears, his veins on his neck and his forehead making itself visible. “This isn’t going to work out.”

The boy shook his head, he took a step forward to touch Satoru only for him to take two steps back. “You’re probably tired, right? Let’s just skip the movie and we can go to bed. How about that? Maybe I can call my boss tomorrow and tell him I won’t be able to go to work. We can have just an us day? How’s that sound?” He tried. 

“Enough!” Satoru shouted, taking his boyfriend aback. “Look at me! Look at me and tell me you don’t despise what you see!”

Suguru clenched his fists, his body was fueled with all sorts of emotions coursing through his brain, multiple feelings attacking his senses making him go crazy. “I don’t! I don’t hate what I see. You know what I see? I see a boy, not just any boy. The boy I love, the boy I fell in love with and the boy whom I made a promise to. Don't push me away!”

Satoru bit his lower lip again but this time harder, so hard it bled and he had to lick the blood off. “I don’t want to have to say more. Please, just go. You don’t deserve to go through all this crap because of me. I don’t want to be the cause of your fucking pain!”

“Then what is this? Do you think I’m not in pain right now? I’m so confused, Satoru. Give me one reason why you’re saying this. Give me a solid reason why you’re trying to break up with me right now.”

Satoru looked up again, his face hardened before he gulped down the last bit of poison he was going to spit out. “You can’t help me, Suguru. Stop worrying about me, stop caring for me. I was alone before this and everything was going okay. I didn’t have to care about anyone but myself but then you came along and-” He stopped halfway, realizing how it sounded. “You came along and turned my life upside down. You made me happy for a while but there’s something you need to know about people like me. We don’t do happy, we don’t get the privilege to experience joy. I’m fucked up and I fucked up and I don’t want to drag you down with me. You’re too good for me.” He took a deep breath, took the necklace off and handed it to Suguru, forcefully putting it in his palm. “You’re too fucking good for me.”

“So, that’s it?” Suguru said, feeling defeated. “You want me to just leave you here and ignore everything that happened?” He was pissed now, he knew deep down that the boy didn’t mean what he was saying, of course he deserved to be happy. What was Suguru there for if not to make Satoru happy? “What about the promise I made to you?”

Satoru took another step back. “One of us had to break that promise and it wasn’t going to be you.”

“You can’t force me to break my fucking promise, Gojo Satoru.” His eyes pierced through the white haired boy’s skull. 

He sighed deeply. “Go sleep over at Shoko’s and come back tomorrow for your things.” Was the last thing he said before he walked to the front door and unlocked it. Suguru reached out to the boy but this time, Satoru didn’t move away, letting his fingers touch his face. “Don’t.” His fingers trailed from his cheek to his chin to his shoulders and then his chest, eyes not leaving his. “Don’t show me that face.” He sounded so defeated, his loud voice reduced to murmurs and whispers.

"Don't do this. Why are you pushing me away?"

Satoru clenched his teeth. "You're better off without me." Suguru shook his head and touched his cheek softly, his lover's tears dripping down on his fingers as well as his own salty tears rolling down his cheeks. "We can't do this."

“Then tell me to stop.” Suguru leaned in, looking for any signs he should stop but when he couldn’t, he pressed his lips onto Satoru’s. The kiss felt so different, instead of the sweet kisses and in between giggling they once had it was filled with salty tears and shaking lips. Satoru shut his eyes tight and grabbed Suguru’s waist, pulling him closer and Suguru hooked his arms around the boy’s neck.

He felt the uneasiness pool in his stomach, the weight of his chest heavier than any dumbbell or anything he’s ever carried in his whole life. He tried to tune out the ringing in his ears to only focus on the sound of Satoru’s lips molding perfectly with his, the sound of his own heartbeat and the second he felt that tongue insert in his mouth, Suguru was gone. 

He held the boy tighter, fingers playing with his nape and his body pressed closer. He didn’t want to let go and it was obvious Satoru didn’t want to either. “Suguru.” He whispered. “You're better than me. Better without me, we both know it deep down."

“Liar.” Suguru quickly said. 

The boy sighed, rubbing his temples again. “Why is it not enough to just care deeply for someone? Why does it have to be so hard?” Satoru asked, body shaking and more tears rolled down his cheeks. “You don’t deserve this, Suguru. You threw too many things away after you met me.”

Suguru pressed his forehead on Satoru’s. “And I would do it all over again. I don’t regret it one bit.” Satoru sighed, holding onto Suguru’s hips tighter, the pain was felt of course but he didn’t mind it one bit, all he knew was the touch he felt meant that Satoru was still holding onto him, he was still there. “Let me be your home, Satoru.”

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings in the future.”

The boy chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood through his moist eyes. “You won’t.”

“You’ll regret being with me.”

Suguru cupped his cheeks again and kissed his lips lightly. “I won’t.” He could feel Satoru’s fingers circling his hips under his shirt, could feel how the boy was still shaking so he took his hand and placed another kiss on his knuckles. And another, and another. 

“My feelings for you are sincere to a fault. Satoru, I accept all your weaknesses and will always try to change them into your strengths. You’re not some random person I met one day for a quick hookup, you’re my lover. We’re partners, aren’t we?” 

Satoru looked at Suguru and let out a suppressed laugh. “Your sincerity is very scary, Geto Suguru.” He laughed louder this time, kissing Suguru’s forehead. “How far would you go for me? I’m a disaster.”

The boy shrugged his shoulders. “Well, you’re the disaster I chose to love.” 

And there it was, the most sincere Satoru had been the whole night, how he finally broke down into pieces, crumbling right in Suguru's firm yet soft grasp. “Please don’t leave me, Suguru.” He hugged the boy, burying his face in the crook of Suguru’s shoulder, hands pressed hard on his lower back. “I need you. I need you.” He kept on repeating the words, soaking his shoulder with tears as Suguru did the same. "I need you. I love you. Don't let me go, please." He repeated those words like his life depended on it, like a gun was pointed towards his head and perpetrator was telling him to spill out his last words before the trigger was pulled. 

The dam broke, overflowing again in the lake. The more the water flowed through the broken bricks and stones, the more Suguru felt like he was sinking deeper and deeper into the sky blue water but he felt at peace. For the first time in his life, he didn’t hate the idea of drowning. He embraced it. The waters that surrounded him, feeling the pressure push down on his chest. He loved every single feeling of it.

“Suguru.” He snapped back to reality and pulled back, looking at his boyfriend. “Let’s run away. Like we always wanted to.”

Smiling wide this time, he nodded his head and both boys continued to embrace each other. “Yeah. Let’s do that.” 

Chapter Text

Utahime waved at him, taking a seat at the table right next to the big window that overlooked the beautiful fountain outside the mall. Suguru told his manager that he was going to take his break of the day and sat opposite the girl, placing two glasses of lemonade on the table. “It feels like forever since we saw each other, doesn't it?” 

“Two months.” 

She chuckled. Almost two months since he and Satoru decided to try out therapy. Satoru disagreed heavily at first but when Haibara and Utahime along with Nanami and Shoko barged in their dorm to persuade him, and by that, it meant their own way of persuading Satoru which included many jabs from Utahime and foul language from Nanami that only they could say towards Satoru without hurting his feelings. Of course, he gave in eventually and said he’d go.

Utahime took a sip of lemonade and smiled at Suguru. She looked good as usual, her hair tied up in a long ponytail and she had some eyeliner on with blush and lip gloss. She always looked very well kept and he could see her style slowly rub off on Shoko when the other girl stepped into the restaurant and sat next to her girlfriend. The girl who had zero style now had - some - style.

Shoko pinched Suguru’s cheek and smiled at her best friend. “What did I miss?” She asked, sipping on her drink and sighing at the relief at the freshness. 

“Just talking about how you didn’t stop drinking milk from the bottle until you turned 7.” Shoko widened her eyes and reached over to smack his arm. “It’s true, though.”

Utahime laughed out loud, holding Shoko down and kissed her cheek. “Babe!” She teased. “That’s so cute.” 

The poor girl pouted and decided to move on past the conversation in hopes to save what she had left of her sanity. “So, how is Satoru? Is therapy helping?”

Suguru nodded. “Very much. He’d never admit it but it’s doing him good. He’s eating more and sleeping better. I just have to keep track of his medication but that’s about it. Thanks for recommending a doctor, though.” Shoko nodded. 

“How is the process for the new house going? If you need funds or advice, you know you can ask us right?” Utahime asked, her voice changed into something serious. “I can give recommendations for contractors or designers, I have an aunt who works in real estate, just tell me whatever you’re planning and I’ll help.”

The boy shook his head, waving his hands in front of her face. “Hime, you don’t have to. You guys have done too much.” It was true. In fact, all his friends have already done way too much and if they were to do anything else, it would make him feel worse. He thought of repaying them in any way he could but only received a smack from Shoko on the head before and also a stern look from Haibara. Something he didn’t want to see ever again, the small cute boy giving him a death glare. Yup, none of that. 

“We have money saved up and we’ll manage. Everything is going smooth sailing. If I see your wallet open for us, I’m never talking to you guys ever again.” He pouted. The girls only laughed and nodded, admitting defeat. 

Utahime hummed, looking back and forth Suguru and Shoko and laughed. “What’s so funny?” Her girlfriend asked.

“Tell me more about her when she was 7.” Shoko grunted and shot Suguru a death glare. 

❀

It was a Saturday which meant he was going to pick Satoru up from his therapist appointment. He thought of going out to lunch with him after since it was a quarter to one in the afternoon. He entered the office building and waved at the security who lifted his hand, recognising Suguru and giving him a wide smile. 

He put his car in neutral at the drop off lane and waited five minutes, lifting his head up to see Satoru speed walk towards the car with a huge grin on his face, adjusting his bag on his back. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Suguru shook his head and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “How was it?”

The boy went on to talk about his sessions as he always does, his therapist was a very kind older woman who had almost 15 years of experience and it was thanks to Shoko for recommending one of the best she knew with her connections through her father. 

They had looked up the types of therapy as well as cost and reviews, some were bad. Real bad and Suguru was initially concerned but seeing how happy the boy was after every session, he knew they had picked right and it was working. Before he knew it, Satoru retracted back into being himself, only better and Suguru couldn’t be happier. 

Lunch was great, as great as it could be honestly. Satoru tells stories about college and how he was excited to get his degree so he could start working and helping Suguru out finally. How they would eventually leave the city and finally settle down somewhere more quiet and tranquil. Just the two of them, together. 

Suguru then asked the waitress for the dessert menu, telling her to give him the sweetest last course they had to treat his boyfriend. The waitress laughed and asked if they could handle such a thing and of course, Satoru took on that challenge. 

What arrived minutes later was the most surprising thing Suguru has ever seen. His eyes almost bulged out their sockets but Satoru had a wide smile instead, clapping his hands and thanking the waitress. It was a pie but not just any pie. According to the waitress, it was a nutella cream pie with an oreo crust and a singular ice cream scoop on top for the finishing touch. 

Diabetes on a porcelain plate.

He was terrified to eat it but was distracted from his thoughts when Satoru shoved a spoonful in his mouth before he could say anything. “Isn’t it good?” He asked with a cheeky grin and suddenly that pie was the most delicious chocolaty goodness he’s ever had in his life. Cavities? What is that? Diabetes? Never heard of her. Minor heartburn? He’ll live. Satoru being happy and enjoying that chocolaty goodness in front of him was all he needed to take another spoonful of the pie.

The two boys ate their dessert, had a great time and paid their bill before holding hands out of the restaurant. Receiving stares all around, some were smiling at them and some gave their own version of disgusted looks but Suguru didn’t care one bit and so did Satoru. The white haired boy held his hand with pride, occasionally linking their arms together and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Suguru couldn’t have asked for more, he had Satoru by his side and everything was okay.

They reached the dorm and the first thing Satoru did was shut the door and press Suguru’s body against the hardwood, placing kisses on his neck. “Let me take my shoes off first.” He chuckled, the heat rising to his ears, a hot sensation resting on his lower abdomen. 

“Sorry. I felt like I was cheating on you with that pie so I feel bad.” Suguru laughed out loud and wrapped his arms around his neck. “You’re very pretty.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “What if I was ugly? I had pimples all over my face with really messed up teeth?” Satoru scoffed. “I’m being serious.”

Satoru hummed, taking one hand off his neck and bringing it up to his lips. His hot breath playing around Suguru’s knuckles. “Suguru, you could have a unibrow and a whole constellation on your forehead and you’d still be the boy that I’d pick.” He kissed the boy’s fingers and palm. “I’d be a fool to not choose you.”

Suguru giggled. “Not someone like me?”

“There is no someone like you.” 

That was all that it took for Suguru to jump in the boy’s arms, his strong hands holding Suguru up, balancing his body as he leaned in and kissed his lips. Tilting his head and biting his lower lip to open Satoru’s mouth only to insert his tongue. He felt his body being swayed and before he knew it, he was being twirled around in the dorm.

“You taste like chocolate.” Satoru said, smacking his lips together.  It felt nice, felt domestic and nothing could ruin the moment. 

❀

A sudden knock on the door woke the two boys up, glancing at the clock it was almost 5pm and Suguru tied his hair in a bun before walking towards the door and unlocking it. “Hello?” His eyes widened when it finally came into view. 

His father stood in front of him with two of his bodyguards. “Hello, Suguru.”

At the sound of that familiar deep voice, Satoru jumped up from the couch with his disheveled hair and bowed to the old man. “Sir.” Only to get waved off.

“No need for that formality, Gojo. Can I come in?” Suguru squinted his eyes. Hands still clenched tightly around the doorknob. “I promise I don’t mean anything ill by coming here.” 

The boy looked back at Satoru, feeling anxious about bringing another father into the dorm because obviously it worked out perfectly before, right? Satoru shot him a smile. “ Of course you can come in. It’s okay, Suguru.” With a slight nod, he cleared up the couch and walked towards the kitchen to make the man a drink. “Make yourself at home, sir.”

Suguru sighed and stepped aside. “I want to say I’m surprised but I had a feeling you’d track me down someday.” 

His father cleared his throat and the two bodyguards stood by the door. Suguru scoffed at the familiarity of the whole sight, he then walked towards the couch and sat opposite his father. It was awkward to say the least, the only sound that he could hear was the sound of a metal spoon stirring in a glass mug. 

Satoru placed the cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table. “Sorry, we ran out of coffee.”

“It’s fine.” The old man looked around the dorm and a smile painted his face when he saw a small christmas tree on the television desk, a tiny one with simple decorations like small fairy lights. “I was worried you would be living somewhere much worse. It’s nice to see you’re doing good.”

Suguru let out a suppressed laugh, his arms crossed on his chest. “An interrogation without a purpose is no different than a family dinner and you know better that I hate family dinners. So, why are you really here, Chairman Geto?”

“I see you not only grew the balls to stand up to me but your insults have also improved.” The old man chuckled and leaned forward, eyeing his son and his partner. “I’ll cut to the chase then. Your mother ran away.” The two boys' eyes widened, exchanging looks. “She took all the money in the safe at home and left yesterday morning, not a note or anything.” He cleared his throat again. “I knew it would happen someday since you’re not there anymore, she has no reason to stay. Like mother like son, running away when things get tough.”

“I didn’t run away because things got tough. I ran away because I couldn’t stand being in the same house with two narcissistic individuals that care about money and status more than blood.” He spat out. “I’m glad she finally took my advice. Just hoped it was a bit sooner to save all that drama.”

His father laughed, nodding his head and sipped on the overly sweetened hot chocolate, wincing at the flavor. “I supposed you’ve heard the news of inheritance.”

Suguru’s face hardened at the thought of it. That's right, his father had another son with another woman and he was set to take over everything. He was going to rub it in his face and laugh and that was the single last thread of bond they had left. “If you’re here to tell me about your other son-”

“You’re getting half of my assets, Suguru.”

Satoru almost choked on his saliva and looked at his boyfriend. “Isn’t that too much for the son who smeared shit on your name, Chairman? What about your other son? Why is he getting the short end of the stick?”

“I know I’ve been a bad father to you all your life and no amount of me begging you will change the fact but this is the least I could do, right?” He sipped on the hot chocolate, smacking his lips together, already adjusting to the taste. “My other kid knows where he stands. He’s already getting the company as we speak, he’ll have more than enough money and inheritance as it is.”

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the fact that his father actually still thought of him as his son, wanting to give up the inheritance and split it that way for his half brother and him. He knew anybody would’ve been ecstatic especially with his father’s status and power but Suguru couldn’t. “Why?”

“You’re my son, are you not?” Laughable statement. “I figured this could be one good thing I could do for you before we part ways for good.”

Suguru glanced at Satoru, the boy holding onto his hand. “That’s nice and all but you don’t have to do that. I don’t want the inheritance. You can give that to your other kid and the mom.” He intertwined their fingers and sighed deeply, Suguru whipping his head to look at his father and shooting him a soft smile. “I’m okay now, Chairman Geto. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I hope this is the last time we see each other and I’m sorry to hear about your wife.”

His father didn’t look surprised; rather, he looked amused. “I thought so. You are my son after all, pride runs swiftly in your blood.” He got up from his seat and dusted off his pants, waving his hand to one of his guards. “Then, allow me to just do one more thing for you. Just one.”

The guard took out an envelope from his suit and handed it to his boss before retreating back to the front door. Suguru knew what it was but stayed calm, still holding onto Satoru’s hand. “You can keep it or give it to charity or whatever but it’s yours.” The envelope full of cash was dropped on the coffee table. “Use this for that new house of yours.”

“How did you know?” He knew better than to ask stupid questions, of course his father knew. It didn’t take much for him to obtain information about anybody. He could’ve asked his men to follow Suguru or get his men to retrieve information from his job at the restaurant and traced his address, found out he signed up for a new credit card or where his money was going. Endless possibilities ran through his head, anything was possible. “You know what? Fine.”

HIs father chuckled again, looking at Satoru and sighed. He smiled at the white haired boy. “I’ll be going now. This is the last time you’ll ever see me.” He nodded at Satoru. “Take care of my son, Gojo Satoru.”

“That goes without saying, sir.” Satoru was quick to reply, kissing Suguru’s knuckles. 

❀

The cold post winter breeze brushed through his black hair as he yelled out, “happy graduation!” 

Satoru turned his head and leaped into his boyfriend’s arms, ignoring the shouts of Utahime calling him back for pictures. “Satoru! It was only going to take five seconds, dummy!” She yelled, causing everybody to watch the dramatics. 

Suguru lifted the boy easily in the air and placed a kiss on his cheek as he tried to balance his hands under Satoru’s butt. “I’m going to be a fucking teacher. The best teacher ever!” Waving his degree in his hand.

They had signed the last paperwork for the house a couple weeks before graduation and with that weight lifted off their shoulders, the boys could finally breathe. They had bought land right smack overlooking a lake, where they could finally be awakened by the sound of calm waters and the smell of coffee just like they’ve always wanted. Thanks to the money Suguru’s father gave, they could dream big. Bigger than they have ever talked about.

Renovations were well away and in a couple of months, they’d have their own house in a town far away from the city where they could finally just be Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru. They had signed the permit and dealt with the construction workers, managed to rent a place in the town they were moving to while their dreams were being built from the ground up into a blossoming reality. Everything was going so perfectly for them, finally after the storm they’ve endured. 

They were finally taking a huge step forward into the future, a future where the two of them were together and will stay together for a long time. Winter truly has ended for them.

Utahime called out to Satoru again and the boy grunted, kissing Suguru on the nose before hopping off towards his friends. “Suguru! Come here, idiot. This is your graduation too.” Shoko said, waving at him to come over. 

He sighed, walking towards the group that was being looked at by his ex peers all around. “Can you guys hurry up? I’m freezing my tits off.” Utahime stated, holding onto Shoko’s waist while the rest of them laughed. 

❀

They had very little stuff to bring with them, having only two big boxes and two little ones, Suguru took one final look at the dorm and laughed to himself as he gazed at the bathroom, the kitchen and the bedroom. The two couches and the small coffee table they’d spend most of their time at. 

He walked towards the bathroom only to see the mirror cabinet open but this time, it was empty. They did some cleaning but a college dorm was going to look like a college dorm anyway. He looked at the spot where the television used to be and where they placed their little tree at. 

“And there!” Suguru voiced out, placing the last of the small baubles on the thin and tiny branch. They tied some red and blue ribbons to it to make it look somewhat festive and slapped fairy lights they found at the dollar store and before they knew it, they decorated their first christmas tree together.

Satoru switched the plug on and the tree lit dimly, quite anti-climatic but it was beautiful nonetheless. “It’s so pretty. Wait!” He got up and walked towards the light switch and turned every light off before the living space was dimly lit with the soft colors of white, blue and pink. “Wow.” 

He looked at his boyfriend. “What?”

“I never thought you could be even more beautiful than you already are but the lights actually make you look like a fucking angel.” Satoru widened his eyes and turned his head to face the tree again, clearly blushing, not used to Suguru saying stuff like that. The color of his pink cheeks meshed with the color of the blue lights.

Suguru lifted the boy’s chin and kissed his lips. “Merry Christmas, Satoru.”

He felt a tap on his shoulder which woke him up from his day dream and nodded towards his friends who were going to wait downstairs before they could send off the boys to their temporary new place.

Satoru hugged Suguru from behind and placed a tiny peck on his neck. “Are you ready?” He asked, chin resting on Suguru’s shoulder. 

“To finally start this legendary life with our legendary love?” He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel nervous or even a tiny bit anxious but all that washed away when he turned around and wrapped his arms around the boy, licking his lips before leaning in to kiss him. 

Satoru chuckled, hugging his boyfriend. “Legends are ancient, legends are dead but we, my love, are very much alive.”