Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Nini leaves the dressing room this time a calm feeling passes over him.

It's nothing like the rush of his last opening night. The overwhelming feelings and loudness, rapidness, the urgency. It's all gone. The theatrics that took place off stage culminated with a kiss there last time. 

Now it was oddly cold in the dressing room (Miss Jenn should really get that AC checked out) where he shared a bittersweet smile with Nini just moments ago. Just for a moment.

He knows it's better this way, that he's happy now but there's a numbness that passes over him when the sound of her small footsteps stray.

She's gone. Ricky scratches the back of his ear. Something nags at him. Quietly like a faint tapping in the recesses of his mind telling him somethings missing. He feels his brows furrow while he looks around the room. He can't quite place it but something feels off. Slowly he turns and faces the opposite door on the other side. 

The curly-haired junior blinks.

It's not quite like opening night. A lot of the things are the same: they'd just finished another show, Nini was just in here with him and left, and he and Gina weren't talking. But everything feels different. Everythings all wrong. 

Ricky's hand picks at a loose thread in his jeans while he resists the urge to bounce his feet in anticipation. The junior waits and doesn't even know for what or why. The doorway remains empty, the sounds of family members in the audience, and the cast meeting is heard from a distance. The commotion of opening night continues out in the hall.

Ricky shakes his head and turns back toward the styling chair holding his book bag. What the fuck was that? 

"Oh," it's soft and barely there but he hears it and immediately turns his head to follow the familiar sound. A breath escapes Ricky's lips. "Sorry I didn't know anyone was in here" Gina softly says, quickly brushing away a stray tear from her face. 

She's crying, He observes. Ricky's eyebrows immediately furrow with concern as he takes a cautious step toward her. 

"Hey, no it's okay. Free dressing room right?" Ricky offers, he cringes by the end of it and casts a glance at his shoes. Free dressing room???  he admonishes himself with wide eyes and shakes his head. 

"Right," Gina responds coldly, she moves further from the doorway and crosses her arms. 

Ricky studies her face while she tries to look anywhere but his. Her eyes are puffy along with her cheeks and the tip of her nose is colored pink. 

"Are you okay?" Ricky asks softly, he takes another careful step towards her. 

Gina sniffles, "No not really." He stops when he's just a few feet in front of her and his lips part at her abrupt answer. 

"You...wanna talk about it?" Gina spares him a sideways glance and she notes his eyes are as careful and soft as his tone is. They haven't had a proper conversation in weeks and now his eyes were fixated on her like what she said would actually hold weight for him as if he cared. Her eyes flicker back up to the rest of his face, reading his genuine expression she exhales. 

"I just, I had this stupid plan to ditch dinner with everyone and go get 'risotto' with EJ instead." Gina opts to look down toward her shoes as she says it, shaking her head dejectedly. "Like a date." She quickly adds, his eyes widen in response. 

"Oh," Ricky mutters. Gina notes his eyes do that thing that makes him seem like he's thinking about something that puts him a million miles away. 

So EJ actually did ask her out. 

He took Carlos' advice and asked Gina on a date. Him. The senior who was bound to leave for college in a few months was dating the girl that was practically a sister to his cousin. It's not weird, Ricky grimaces at the thought. Okay so maybe it was a little weird but it certainly wasn't his place to comment. Especially not to the girl crying in front of him. The whole thing just leaves a weird taste in his mouth and he's not sure it's just because of EJ. 

Gina looks back down at her black boots and shuffles her feet, "But he canceled like for good." She concludes, swallowing the bubbling feelings of embarrassment rising within her. Telling the boy she had feelings for that the guy she thought liked her back actually didn't want her was not on her opening night bingo card. She was 0-2 with these nights so far. 

The guy you used to have feelings for, Gina reminds herself. The sophomore fiddles with the silver rings on her hand. 

Ricky blinks. "He's an idiot." 

Gina's eyes widen immediately when she looks up at him and Ricky's just as surprised the words pass his lips too. "F-for canceling on you. You deserve better than that." The junior stutters, he finds his footing toward the end of his sentiment because he means it. Gina Porter deserves the best. 

Gina looks at him through her lashes, "Thanks." she mutters and a small grateful smile appears on her face. Silence stretches between the pair until Ricky feels another spell of word vomit comes through. It sprouted from curiosity more than anything else. 

(and maybe he thought he might see her smile)

"What the hell is risotto?" his expression contorts to one of confusion and Gina's laugh fills the space. He bites his lip to lessen the smile on his face and isn't entirely sure it works.  

(He got a laugh, the adorable snort too: bonus)

"I have no idea actually," Gina admits with a laugh, Ricky squints at her now incredulous and the sound of her laughter only grows at his expression. A familiar fluttering feeling he'd started to associate with October air and the falling leaves of autumn return to the pit of his stomach at the sound. 

Ricky chases it any way he can, "What?" He asks puzzled and her amusement at his confusion grows. 

Gina looks up,"Okay so I thought at first it might've been pasta but then I looked it up, and apparently it's like creamy rice?" She finishes with a shrug, Ricky's brows furrow (in that not not adorable way) and she finds she has to bite back a smile. 

"Creamy rice?" Ricky asks through a breathy laugh, his tone seeping with disapproval and distaste. 

Gina rolls her eyes playfully at the boy in front of her (was he always standing that close?) "Such a judgey tone from someone who still orders chicken tenders and fries at almost every restaurant." Her arms are still crossed but the air feels different, lighter. 

"Better to be safe than sorry." He proses. 

"You're such a wuss." She squints. 

Neither can wipe the smiles off their faces. 

"We can't all live life on the edge Porter." Ricky grabs the handle of his book bag and remembers he still needs to put it on. 

Gina's eyes widen in disbelief, "You told me you once thought about skateboarding on the railing of the staircase to get to class faster, you think I live dangerously?"

"It looks sturdy enough! Pretty high too." Ricky defends. "Maybe Miss Jenn thought that was the 'something high' I could've I jumped from for tonight," He says in a tone much too light for her taste. 

"Ricky!" The curly-haired beauty exclaims she'd been too close to actually hitting his arm at such a claim. But then she remembers things are different now, they're both different and haven't spoken in weeks. 

Gina feels herself still for a moment, "She shouldn't have said that."

Ricky scratches the back on his neck and his eyes gravitate back to her figure, "Yeah, I went by her office and she apologized. She was really stressed about tonight." He notes her hands, how they fiddle with the silver pieces, and the concerned expression she wears aimed at him. 

"It was totally uncalled for." She shakes her head. 

Ricky swallows, his eyes move from the ground back up to meet her eyes. "I know."

Gina shifts from one foot to the other, noticing the shift in the room, "It would be a real waste if you were gone you know." She expresses with playful dejection. 

A slow smile creeps back up on his face, "Yeah I know all those profitable skills just right down the drain huh" Ricky states sardonically.

"Okay, so those songwriting, guitar, singing, and acting skills are just nothing?"

"No dancing in there?" His brows are scrunched with his inquisition and his head tilts. 

(He does not look like a puppy, my God Gina?!)

She huffs a surprised laugh and Ricky purses his lips to hide his smile, "Well I'm not gonna lie, can't kick you when you're already down." 

"Gina Porter ever the saint." Ricky jokingly says, his hands clasped together in front of him as if in prayer. 

"Fly high Ricky Bowen, you'll be missed." Gina says in a faux saddened tone, she shakes her head while her eyelashes flutter. 

"I'm sure Red would make sure the funeral would be handled properly with an absurd amount of pizza like I would've wanted." 

"Pizza at a funeral, a must." Gina nods in agreement.

"He'd probably have me buried clutching a bag of funions, as per my last dying wish. Carlos will probably be trying to sneak it out of my hands every chance he gets because it's absurd but don't worry, Seb will stop him." Ricky lists off how everyone else would react so casually that Gina can't help giggle at the impossible scenario. 

"Where am I in all this chaos?" Her gaze becoming curious, Ricky studies her for a moment, and for some reason his mind blanks. 

His mind short circuits at having to think of not being around her anymore, not when he'd gotten so used to Gina being in his orbit (even if they weren't speaking). The curly-haired junior couldn't help but think how wrong everything went when she left (cue the auditorium burning and a random bag in the theater falling that could've seriously hurt someone if he thought about it). Gina waits for his answer so he opts for the one that keeps the air in the room light and familiar. 

"Probably trying to save face but breaking down into tears every five minutes." Ricky shakes his head, a wry smile planted on his lips. 

"You sound pretty confident about that." Her eyebrow arches, challenging. His smile turns genuine and it's brighter than the lights on the mirrors beside him. 

"I mean who's gonna step on your toes every time you teach new choreo?" His brows furrow as he proses the question with certainty in his tone, the curly-haired girl snorts. 

"Yeah I mean who needs people who keep me on my toes when I clearly need someone around to step all over them?" Gina retorts, she shakes her head and somehow the action is fond. Ricky's eyes crinkle with his grin, Gina's mind slows when she has to remind herself that is not her favorite thing in the world (she's been to a lot of places in it, she'd know).

"See you get it."

"Please try not to die on us, Wildcat." Ricky's nose screnches at the nickname and Gina's smile turns soft. She shakes her head again and lets out a breathy laugh, "I kinda need you around, Bowen." 

Then those doe brown eyes she's convinced herself she isn't fond of anymore focus on her, they soften impossibly so and he's got this look on his face. His lips part in anticipation with what to say next.

"Well as fun as this conversation about risotto and death has been, I better get going. Ash offered me a ride, I told her I'd meet her in a little bit." Gina rambles, abruptly breaking from his gaze. 

Ricky eyes the doorway behind her, "Oh well Red is giving me a lift too. You wanna walk together?" He offers, scratching the back of his neck. Gina noted it was a nervous tick of his. She bites her lip to tamper a small smile. 

I can't say no to this idiot, She inwardly sighs at the thought. 

"Sure." Gina says already turning toward the door. She smiles when she feels the junior anxiously trek behind her after a few seconds he just stood there staring at her.

He's not so sure why it feels nice to see Gina back in Red's car again but something about the whole ordeal feels fitting. 

Even though it's different now. Even though it's Red and Ashlyn sitting in the front seats serenading each other to the corny lyrics of the latest musical they watched together and he and Gina are in the back trading looks and secret smiles at their respective best friends, it feels right. The spring air breezing through her curls and her infectious laugh only add to the feeling. 

So when Gina laughs at his joke for the 5th time that night (he didn't count, he didn't) sitting across from each other at slices, and their feet are an appropriate width apart (maybe they touch a couple of times, no one is counting anything okay) he tells himself he doesn't feel his stomach flop at Ashlyn's mention of EJ. 

When Gina quickly looks away from him then practically sprints up to catch up to the senior leaving, Ricky's heart doesn't sink to newfound depths. He doesn't stare at her seat when she's gone either. 

Lily stops by and tells Ricky he has nice eyes. That feeling that poked at him before, the wrongness came back. Every time he talks to Lily he feels like something is just off and he's sure it's not just her but something else. But if tonight taught him anything it was that second chances could bring the best people into your life. 

He calls her later and tells her that maybe they shouldn't go there for lots of reasons, but he mainly explains that maybe he should be alone right now. 

(His mom and Todd have been talking to him about therapy)

Ricky doesn't yet understand just how persistent the blonde girl can be. 

Both Ricky and Gina (unknowingly/knowingly) took (second) chances on other people that night.

(Then the usual happened)

It all went horribly wrong.

(Just not yet)

June 30th 2020

9:34pm

"I had a really great time tonight" EJ remarks as he parks into the familiar Caswell driveway. The moon shines high above the pair while EJ turns down the music, another classic broadway playlist Carlos had recommended for him. 

The senior turns to Gina in the passenger's seat, with a warm smile etched on his face. Tonight had marked the second date the pair had been on since she kissed him outside of slices. He'd taken her out for ice cream. 

They weren't official or anything. They were just...hanging out, trying to see where things go. 

"Me too." Gina responds with a smile of her own. She always had fun with EJ, he was a fun guy. A water polo player and theater nerd, someone she never remotely saw herself being around much less...hanging out with but things change. 

Silence surrounds the space while Gina's eyes bounce around the front of the car. They had fallen into pits of weird awkward silence a couple of times since the sort of ill-timed kiss. 

Her head drifts back to that night how when the two met in the middle. How she'd made a move to grab his arms while he rushed to grab her cheek and had somehow accidentally stepped on her foot, how his forehead collided with the back of her head in the process of her looking down to check on her foot and him apologizing. She'd huffed out the nerves and just leaned up to kiss him after all was said and done It had felt...different than she'd imagined. 

Of course, Gina Porter is a rom-com enthusiast so she knows the first kiss is important, she'd been saving it up for this long. She knows it's all about the butterflies, the fireworks, the lightning and the odds of catching it, the passion and all that. But she was a realist too, not every kiss was gonna give her full body chills or something, she knows that. EJ just proved her that. It was a nice first kiss. She couldn't complain. 

So much about that night felt so fast and urgent though. Like Gina needed to clear things up before the universe got in her way again.

(It had a habit of doing that sometimes, no matter what her mother said)

"Gina?" EJ says, bringing her head back to the car. 

"Yeah?"

"Kinda zoned out there for a second." He notes with a curious glance. She looks down at her hands then back up at him. 

"Yeah sorry, what did you say?" Gina shakes her head, her curls following with her movements. 

"I just said we were lucky we weren't sitting next to that mom and her screaming kid for so long." EJ tells her, his wide eyes spelling his exaggeration. 

Gina smiles, "Yeah I'm pretty sure my ears are still ringing from that poor kid's cries."

"That poor kid really put my poor ears through it."

"The little kid can't hurt you anymore now EJ, this is a safe space." Gina jokes. The two share a laugh and sit in the newfound comfortable silence. He's looking at her then back at the dashboard, and before she knows it EJ is leaning in and suddenly her head is turning.

(????????)

His lips land right on her cheek and she spares him a smile before she says goodnight.  EJ's lips part in surprise and then he smiles right back, wishing her sweet dreams. They'd mentioned taking things slow was the plan anyway, he reminds himself. They'd be spending a lot of the summer apart with Gina visiting her mom, there was no rush to make things official or anything. 

Gina curses herself when she watches his car leave the driveway and make its way down the street. What the fuck Porter? she sighs as she makes her way to the door.

When the curly-haired beauty settled on her bed, her thoughts run rampant. Ash was probably gonna come up any minute once she came back from Red's house. She'd made a habit of coming up and telling her all about her dates and thought it was only fair Gina did the same even if it was with her cousin of all people (it wasn't weird). 

Why didn't you kiss him, Porter? The thought rings in her mind as she huffs out a frustrated breath. EJ was so cool, he was kind, funny, and patient. She knows it's only the second date but they really did have fun together, she was at a loss for why she'd shrugged him off tonight. 

Gina's almost thankful her journal falls off the edge of her bed as it distracts her from her thoughts, she hadn't even noticed it moved when she settled on the mattress. 

When she moves to pick up the baby blue book, a singular polaroid falls from in between the pages down to the brown hardwood floor.

Her lips part then start to form a slow smile when she realizes what it was. It was from the night the theater gang had gathered in Big Red's basement and she'd come up with choreography with Carlos to save Miss Jenn. It's her and Ricky squished together on the armchair, his eyes are bright and focused on her, lips curled into a soft smile while she's got this big grin on her face and she's looking towards the camera.

Gina resists the urge to open the journal entry to that night. She knows what she'd find and she has no reason to go back. 

She's only ever moved forward. 

[Gina ballerina]: Hey 

(This is not moving forward Gina, this is literally the opposite of moving forward hello?!?) 

Now her mind is decidedly racing once again. fuck fuck fuck. Gina begins to pace on the carpet Ash got her last month that totally, "fits the vibe of the room now". She throws her phone on her very comfortable sheets. Literally, why would you do that? Gina shakes her head at her impulsive text and thinks back to valentines day, her face scrunches up. 

(God she really is alive just to suffer)

Then a notification rings out in the relatively quiet room and if she were anybody else, she'd laugh at how fast her head turned. 

[loser bowen]: oh hey

(He fell off of Red's bed, it wasn't fun) 

[loser bowen]: how you been porter?

[gina ballerina]: been okay 

[gina ballerina]: found a photo from last semester jus flew outta my journal and everythig 

[loser bowen]: i don't think the blackmailing with pics thing works if you tell the person?

(Gina will not confirm nor deny theres a smile on her face)

[loser bowen]: also hold up gina porter has a journal????

[gina ballerina]: pls i have enough blackmail photos of you to last a lifetime

[loser bowen]: awww

[gina ballerina]:  - _-  

[loser bowen]: they hate to see a girl boss winning

[gina ballerina]: you are not the amy dunne you think you are

(Red asks if he found that tik tok with the dog twerking when he notices Ricky full-on grinning at his phone)

[loser bowen]: ah you almost got me porter

[loser bowen]: lets get back to the original plot of the movie shall we

[loser bowen]: u have a journal with all the deep dark secrets ur not telling me???

[gina ballerina]: yea it makes me seem all *mysterious* doesnt it?

[gina ballerina]: I got layers b1tch

[loser bowen]: i don't think i've felt this betrayed since Red watched superbad for the first time without me

[gina ballerina]: just gagged ur so dramatic 

[loser bowen]: think what you want. i'm beloved by many!

[gina ballerina]: you wanna try that one again wildcat

[loser bowen]: I'm beloved by three people and maybe my mom! 

Gina smiles for what seems like the hundredth time that night, she resists the urge to ask if she's included in that list. She decides against it seeing as she's now reached her dumb impulsive decision quota for the day. The universe seemingly makes the choice for her when Ashlyn comes in.

"Biggie is literally the sweetest!" The red-headed sophomore exclaims as she sets her bag down on Gina's desk chair. 

Gina leaves her phone on her bed and opts to let that be all between the two of them for the night and maybe a while. Navigating friendship with Ricky could be easy, but it just feels weird trying to get back to a place they never were. 

Gina was going to spend the majority of the summer in New Orleans with her mother anyway, she was due back in Salt Lake in mid-August. So the way she sees it, there was really no point. 

The curly-haired beauty chooses to listen to her best friend be absurdly happy and is absurdly happy for her too. 

(Ricky tries not to feel too disappointed when she doesn't respond, he plays video games with Red till his eyes hurt instead)

July 18th, 2020

2:07pm

"I don't think you're doing it right." A tiny voice voices her skepticism at Ricky's attempt to make her a flower origami from the comfort of his living room.

Ricky huffs in frustration and moves to start over again, "I don't think you're doing it right." He mockingly replies to the little girl beside him, she sticks her tongue out at him in rebuttal. I'm not going to engage with a seven-year-old, he thinks rolling his eyes. 

The damn paper refuses to fold and the tiny girl fixes him a knowing glance.

(He sticks his tongue out right back)

"I'm not even doing anything!" She exclaims with her arms crossed. The curly-haired boy only rolled his eyes again in response. Ricky had only met Jasmine Parekh, Todd's (very annoying) seven-year-old daughter in passing during spring break. 

It was one of those awkward baseball games that his mother had reassured him again and again if that wasn't something he was ready to do with them, he didn't have to. Ricky kinda wished he'd taken her up on that offer because it wasn't exactly the most fun moment of his life. He'd had a pretty okay time, Todd wasn't an awful person to talk to and when Jas wasn't being annoying she could actually be pretty funny and smart. They'd spent some more time together since then this summer with him and his mom going back and forth from Chicago. He'd just had a few moments with them where he sort of felt like an outsider to the dynamic, like his mom just up and joined this family and he was just supposed to come along and fit right in with her. 

Now his mom and Todd were getting groceries for the place they were staying at and for some reason Ricky had gotten roped into babysitting her. 

"I just don't understand why you can't take her with you guys." Lynne had just finished dropping off Ricky after taking him to the mall with them and now Jas was in his living room watching some cartoon show about ladybugs and his dad was at work. 

Lynne exhales, "She wants to spend some time with you, honey. She asked if she could stay here with you instead."

Ricky huffs while his mother moves further into the kitchen, "I find that hard to believe." He says. 

Lynne's brows furrow in response, "Why is that? She loves spending time with you."

"Yeah because all she does is insult me and like, call me names." Ricky states in a low tone, he evades her eyes and crosses his arms. 

Lynne's expression turns incredulous, "Aw sweetie is the little girl bullying you?" 

"Okay-" Ricky interrupts, he resists the urge to roll his eyes while he puts his hands in his back pocket. 

Lynne's eyebrows raise, "Did the little seven-year-old girl tell you, you have cooties one too many times?" She says in a falsely concerned tone. 

"Alright, I get it mom!" He replies with wide eyes while she laughs at the redness in his cheeks dissipating by the minute. 

"It just takes a while for her to let people in." Lynne says softly, "She reminds me a lot of someone I know and love very much." She looks him right in the eyes when she says it, Ricky chances a glance at the little girl entranced with the television screen on the couch. 

He relents with a sigh, "Okay I got it, I'll babysit the gremlin." Lynne fixes him a look, "I'll look after Jas." Ricky corrects and his mother smiles and touches his chin affectionately before she leaves. She gives Jas a kiss on the cheek before she goes and whispers something in the little girl's ear that makes her giggle. 

Ricky hadn't expected the sight to make him smile but for some reason it did. 

"I'm bored." Jas' small grating voice whines right in his ear snapping him back into the moment, he grimaces in response. "You guys-"

"Don't even have a pool or a backyard. Yeah, me and my dad live in an apartment Jas." Ricky interrupts, lightly shoving her off of him. The younger girl sucks her teeth and pouts as she leans further into the couch. 

"There's nothing to do, Icky." Jas reminds him while he takes the papers littered on the paper to the recycling bin. The curly-haired boy resits the urge to crumple up a piece of paper and chuck it at her tiny head at the nickname she'd taken to calling him since she mispronounced his name when they met. At first, it was cute. A nice little joke that they all laughed at till she'd taken to annoyingly calling him that all the time. 

(Lynne and Todd still insist it's adorable and only speaks to how much she likes him, Ricky's not so convinced)

Ricky tiredly sighs, "Okay you know what I'm getting the Xbox controllers from my room. Fu-" 

"Forget this." He corrects himself while Jas looks up at him, awaiting wide-eyed. His mom had told him he didn't want them playing video games, something about Jas's eyes being sensitive, and that she didn't want her looking at a screen for too long. 

"Can I play a game on your phone while you go look?" Jas plainly asks. Ricky shrugs and unlocks his phone while he thinks of where his controllers might be in his mess of a room. "Go crazy, kid" He replies before trekking off to his room. 

Jas watches him go and looks back to the screen, a mischievous smile grows on her face when she sees a very pretty contact photo from a not-so-recent message thread. Way too pretty to be a friend of icky's, The seven-year-old thinks to herself.

[loser bowen]: hiiiiiiii

[loser bowen]: u r prety

[loser bowen]: r yo a real 

"icky how do you spell ballerina?" Jas calls from the living room, her expression showcasing absolute focus. Ricky sprints up from the bottom of his bed, having found one of the controllers. What? His face was littered with confusion. Until he remembers he left the gremlin with his phone. 

(idiot)

Ricky almost trips on himself running back to the living room. Jas was planted on the corner of the couch, with the tip of her tongue peeking out in efforts to spell out the word. Something he tended to do when he focused on something pretty hard too. Ricky shakes his head at the observation and snatches the phone from out of her grasp, trying to assess the damage. 

"Hey!" Jas exclaims with her brows furrowed. 

"Don't hey me! You said you wanted to play a game not give Gina enough blackmail material to ruin my life."

"I got bored." Jas lies, she bats her eyes at him like it'll get her out of trouble. It almost seems like it's something out of a routine. She definitely has Todd wrapped around her finger.

"Yeah, I'll bet." Ricky squints and shakes his head at her and the girl crosses her arms again. "The word is in the contact name, dummy." Ricky jeers at her before observing the changed text thread. Jas' lips form a small 'oh' then she fights the urge to stick her tongue out at him again, I'm not a dummy.

"She's pretty. Why is she talking to you?" Jas asks him curiously, with her head jutted forward.

Ricky blinks, "I'm sure she'll be asking that same question when she gets these texts."

"Is she a real Ballerina?" Jas asks excitedly. She pokes him when he doesn't answer and does it again and again. 

[loser bowen]: hey uh srry about those texts todd's gremlin daughter stole my phone

His leg bounces when he moves to sit on the brown couch, as he anxiously waits for a reply. He turns on the TV and switches it on to cartoon network. "But Lynne said I can't watch too-" Jasmine starts.

"Just watch, gremlin." Ricky interrupts, he bites his lip awaiting Gina's reply. 

"I don't even know what that is." Jas mutters, clutching a pillow to her chest with a pout. 

[gina ballerina]: wait hold on

[gina ballerina]: so you don't think im prety?

[gina ballerina]: or a real ?

(Gina's in New Orleans having a rom-com movie marathon with her mom, her amused expression is not 100% because of Sandra Bullock doing a dance break in 'The Proposal')

[loser bowen]: oh no i think ur so real

[loser bowen]: and definitely prety

Gina doesn't answer him for a few minutes and the nerves that wash over him are anything but welcome. why would you say that you idiot? Ricky asks himself while he runs his hands through his hair. Jas takes her attention away from Adventure Time to cast him a strange look.

[loser bowen]: she wanted to kno if your a real life ballerina, I can tell she's impressed

[gina ballerina]: i'am impressive

[gina ballerina]: I can't believe we don't talk for a while and I find out you went and got a sister

This time it's Ricky who takes a little bit to reply. 

"Gina used to do ballet when she was younger. She still does it sometimes, for fun." Ricky finally tells her. "At least I think she does." He adds, his tone calm and somewhat somber when he thinks of how that detail might've changed. How he can't say that fact about Gina with absolute certainty anymore because they didn't really talk anymore.

(Because there were other people she thought he should confide in, because there were other people she wanted to pair up with for improv exercises)

"Cool." Jas nods with a toothy grin, Ricky looks at her and feels a soft smile grow on his face. It is cool.

[loser bowen]: A very annoying little one yeah

[loser bowen]: creative too like what kind of nickname is icky i mean cmon

*gina ballerina has changed convo + contact name to icky bowen*

[icky bowen]: oh ur sick...

[gina ballerina]: this girl is my hero

Ricky winds up finding the other controller by his desk in his cluttered room. He sets up the game console while Jas patiently waits for it to load. 

"Is that girl from the other day gonna come back here?" Jas asks, her eyes squinting with curiosity. Man, kids ask a lot of questions. 

"What girl? Lily?" Ricky supplies. Earlier in the week when his mom had come over and cooked them all dinner (that was surprisingly kinda nice), Lily had stopped by to drop off a vinyl she thought he might like, it was from a collection of old broadway classics. Ricky didn't have the heart to tell her she really shouldn't have because he did not have a record player. 

"Yeah her. That girl is mean." Jas states plainly. Her encounter with the blonde girl was brief and stinted, Lily kept her distance from children. Every time Jas even came remotely close Lily would inch away, pulling a fake smile the younger girl would see through.

(Jas had made sure the blonde knew the way out before the dinner table was set and Mike could ask her to stay)

"You don't know her." Ricky defends, he knows better than to judge a book by its cover it's an important lesson to learn young. Jas casts him a doubtful look like she was seeing something he didn't. Or that he was seeing something that wasn't there. 

"Neither do you." Jas huffs. 

"How would you know that?" Ricky retorts and Jas lips curl to a knowing smirk. 

"Mom said you were-" Jas starts in a confident tone and stops abruptly when she'd realized what she'd said to him. 

Ricky immediately stiffens. Mom, Jas had just called his mother mom. The little girl looks down at the ground and wrapped a stray light brown strand of hair around her finger, the action seemed nervous. He wonders how many times she'd called her that when he wasn't around in Chicago. 

(his mom really did have a new family.)

"She said you started talking to some girl." Jas finishes softly, avoiding his eyes. Ricky shuffles closer to her and sighs. From what he'd gathered Jasmine's mom died when she was two from some illness that ran in her family. Lynne might've been the only real mothering influence she'd ever had. He knows he can't be selfish and take this from her. He starts to think that maybe his mom was right, maybe Jas didn't want him to be an outsider. Maybe I don't have to be. 

(Therapy has been going pretty good so far ever since he'd started a few months ago)

Ricky looks at the coffee table in front of him, "Is that what mom said?" He asks softly. 

Jas nods her head, looking up at him eagerly. He didn't say my mom, or any other possessive like the younger girl had been expecting. Ricky's eyes soften while he fights a shy smile. 

"She's just my friend, I don't think I like her like that." He answers honestly. 

"Why not? Because she's mean?" Jas asks.

Ricky's eyes widen at her honesty, "No. For lots of reasons."

"Is it because of Gina ballerina?" Jas proses innocently. The sun shines through the blinds to fall on her brown skin and the light casts a halo around her chestnut hair. She'd be a little angel if she wasn't so committed to being a pain in the ass. Ricky shakes his head at the question, his brain short-circuiting.

"What? no. S-she's not-" He stammers and Jas giggles at him fumbling through the words to describe what Gina is to him. 

"You know I like boys too right?" Ricky deflects, little kids get distracted by everything. 

(So does Ricky)

"Oh." Jas says and ponders the statement for a moment, "I bet you don't know any cute boys." she adds offhandedly, motioning to grab his Xbox controller. 

"I know-" Ricky tries to defend only to find himself flustered again, the little girl next to him stifles a laugh. "Shut up, you wanna play Kingdom of Hearts or not?"Jas giggles and this time when he rolls his eyes Ricky thinks it's fonder than when he last did it. 

"Don't tell me to shut up, I'll tell mom."

"and I'll tell Lily to come back and tell you all about her favorite emojis."

A beat of silence passes between them and Ricky meets her challenging stare full-on. 

Jasmine huffs and looks at the tv ahead, "Okay you win." She grumbles while picking her character, Ricky laughs in amusement. 

(Jas kicks his ass when they play Call of Duty later though, Lynne did not approve)

[icky bowen]: this whole sibling thing isn't so bad

[gina ballerina]: it has its moments yeah

August 28th, 2020

8:46pm

The day before the start of Ricky's social life as a senior he kind of loses it. For some reason, the rising senior starts getting in his head about everything the year would bring a day before the bonfire he'd been on the fence about going to. 

(he thinks the edible he took about half an hour ago might have something to do with it)

Red had told him a couple of days ago that the theater kids would be coming up to Ashlyn's parents' cabin to have a bonfire, a first of many lasts for the seniors in their group, which was quite a few. 

He'd been going back and forth with the decision, whether to go or not. Ricky had been pretty relaxed about it until now. Until it hit him it would be the first of lasts for him. He would leave high school by the end of this year and things would end up changing again. 

Of course, change could be good. Change could bring Nini a thriving social media account, and his mom a bigger family, and him a little sister (and Todd, he'll get used to that one) and change gave him...Gina.

But things were gonna be different, again. 

The curly-haired boy takes a deep breath as he falls back on his bed. One thing, one person still lingering in his mind. It's been almost a month since she last spoke to him and that was only because a little gremlin got access to his phone. 

(He might actually kinda miss her a lot)

[icky bowen]: hey um you going to the bonfire thing?

[gina ballerina]: yeah why lol

(They both know this was something Ricky could've easily asked Red or Ash rather than just text her but here he is)

                                                                                                                                                   [icky bowen]: jus curious

[icky bowen]: idk if i should go

[gina ballerina]: damn i don't think i've ever seen senior-itis hit anyone before school started

[gina ballerina]: this is a case like i've never seen

[icky bowen]: idk what to tell you i've always been special

[gina ballerina]: i don't think senior-itis has ever kept anyone from wanting to hang out with their friends

[icky bowen]: I guess it's just hitting me that this is probably the last bonfire were gonna have together

[icky bowen]: I sound like EJ last semester

[icky bowen]: God I really am alive just to suffer :/

[gina ballerina]: you have to be the most dramatic person i've ever met  

[icky bowen]: Gi <333 

[gina ballerina]: weve been thru this it's is not a compliment :/

[icky bowen]: ur a hater :/ 

[gina ballerina]: just come to the bonfire icky, you'll regret it if you don't  

[icky bowen]:.....fine

[icky bowen]: the marshmallows better be god tier 

Ricky already feels calmer. Maybe it's the edible finally doing its thing, maybe it's the fact that he'd made up his mind or maybe it's the girl that keeps bringing him back, that keeps reminding him he doesn't quit either. But he feels better. Better than he has in a while. 

He hears a notification from his phone, a small smile falls from his face when he realizes it's not the one he set for Gina.

[lily]: hey you <3 got any plans tm night?

[rickykins]: oh uh yeah actually

[lily]: aw that sucks I kinda wanted to hang out

[lily]: i just, idk if we'll get the chance to with school coming soon sad face emoji

[rickykins]: well...

(They'd hung out a couple of times over the summer, as friends, she really wasn't that bad)

[rickykins]: you can come with me if you want

[rickykins]: its this bonfire thing with my friends 

[lily]: omg that sounds so fun rickykins, thanks for the invite smiley face emoji 

[rickykins]: you kno you can just like send the emojis rather than say them lol

[lily]: ig that's true but its just so fun ya know

[rickykins]: not really but i'll take ur word for it haha

Chapter Text

The area surrounding the Caswell Residence doesn't remain untouched to the impending season coming. Some leaves had already started to change to a golden, red, yellow hue while the air was still warm with the chill tones only August could bring. Gina always knew that breeze promised a new place to occupy her time. Now Gina folds the blanket EJ had left on the couch while Kourtney, who had brought up the drinks for the bonfire later, admired her hair in the mirror.

The inside of the cabin remained the same for the most part, family pictures littered the walls and fireplace mantle. The brown, red, and orange hues from the furniture only adding to the cozy atmosphere. 

"I'm still so obsessed with the results." Kourtney casually says, touching the box braids she had gotten yesterday.

"You should be you look amazing." Gina replies with a smile, she takes a braided strand of her own and tucks it behind her ear. The rising junior gotten her own hair done last week, wanting a change before the school year.

New school year at the same school (already a different concept for her), new hair, new extracurricular activity, hopefully, her mind adds. School hadn't even started yet and she'd already been anxious to try out for the cheerleading squad. There were just so many possibilities.

(and so many things to avoid)

"I know I can always trust Sandra." Gina replies confidently.

Kourtney nods in agreement, "I'm definitely gonna keep going to her."

Ashlyn walks in and observes the living room like she was trying to figure out if something was missing. "Hey, Gi do you think you can find the other blankets for later? in the back closet upstairs?" Ashlyn asks. 

"Yeah, no problem."

Ash clasps her hands in anticipation. "Great! now all we need is the lighter fluid. Biggie should be here with it soon." She says dryly, Gina and Kourtney share a look across the room. 

"You don't sound too happy about that?" Kourtney notes, her tone curious. As far as they knew Ash and Red were happy, spending most of the summer sharing one too many creative pizza dates at slices and, even a few at the skatepark, they all saw on instagram.

"Did you guys get into a fight?" Kourtney blinks at the new voice a couple of paces ahead of her behind the kitchen counter, Ashlyn basically yelps and even Gina jumps in surprise.

"Nini! oh my god." Ash admonishes when she turns around to face her.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you." Nini apologizes with a small smile, her eyes riddled in amusement when she notes the redhead clutched her chest, startled. The brunette had found she didn't get to spend as much time as she wanted with her friends this summer with her family traveling and her thriving music account. Nini had been feeling sort of left out from group functions as of late, she feels like its somewhat been that way since YAC. She hopes senior year is more of an opportunity to say one last goodbye to these people who'd become like family to her.

"It's okay." Ashlyn sighs, "We didn't get into a fight it's more who Red is bringing here that has me a bit...annoyed"

"Isn't he just driving Ricky up here?" Nini states. Kourtney taps her nails on the wooden counter, nodding. Gina plays with the silver piece on her ring finger, she squints at the expression on Ashlyns face with curiosity.

Ash huffs, "It's more so who Ricky is bri-"

A knock sounds at the door and all heads in the living room turn towards it.

"Of course that's them" The red-haired girl mutters. Gina sees Ashlyn's lips purse before she moves to open the door. Red, Ricky, and Lily make their way through the door. Ashlyn gives Red a chaste kiss and she thanks him for getting the lighter fluid, propped in his hands.

(????)

Gina eyes the distance between the blonde and Ricky, who was just standing there shuffling his feet. His lips part when his eyes meet hers, it's probably the first time he'd seen her all summer. She looked different. She looked beautiful. She is beautiful. "Gi, Hey." Ricky says gently, Lily's head snaps to look at his impossibly enamored profile with record speed.

"Hi." Gina casually says. Everyone just kind of stands there awkwardly looking at each other basking in the tension that just blanketed them, Ricky tries to look away from her, he really does. Gina tucks a braid behind her ear and straightens as she stands by the granite counter.

"Lily Hi! What a surprise." Nini says, cutting through the tension and awkwardly looking between the two back and forth. It really was a surprise, of all people to talk to or hang out with whatever they were to each other he'd decided Lily of all people was a good idea.

"Yeah." Kourtney adds in a strained tone. She and Nini share a disbelieving look, Howie had filled them in on exactly how competitive north high could get, the blonde was heavily featured in that conversation. What were they doing together?

"Hey everyone!" Lily says, her tone saccharine and somehow grating. The kind that made Gina's toothache, in this case, the tone made her head hurt. "Ricky being the saint he is told me I was invited to come with him to this little party, I hope that's okay." Ashlyn stiffens next to Red while she resists the urge to roll her eyes at her answer.

"I mean you're already here so." Gina shrugs with a flat smile.

"Right." Lily says with a smirk, she looks at Gina as she wraps a hand around Ricky's arm. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, he stiffens at the contact while Nini's eyebrows scrunch together and Gina's lips purse.

Lily's eyes flicker up to her form and it's like she'd been transported back to audition day at east high last semester, may the best belle win. The words ring in her mind and her grip on the senior next to her tightens, Ricky swallows nervously while he eyes her hand on his arm. Gina's brows furrow with a confused frown when she feels the weight of her gaze. What's her problem?

EJ breaks the imposed uncomfortable silence the group finds themselves in once he huffs through the backdoor, "Gi, there you are I've been looking everywhere for you."

Gina blinks, more than grateful for the interruption "Hey what's up?"

"I could use your help with the playlist if you're up for it?" 

Ricky rolls his eyes at EJ's request, Lily casts him a sideways glance, and (thankfully) her grip on his arm lightens. I mean who needs help putting together a playlist?  His brows furrowed at the thought. 

Gina's expression lightens when she casts her focus on the boy in the back doorway and Ricky feels his stomach turn in response as his eyes bounce back and forth between the two. "Yeah, no problem" she responds with a nod. Her shoulders fall like she'd been holding her breath, and for a moment, Ricky wonders why. 

"I'm gonna pick out a nice spot to sit outside." Lily interrupts his thought (It seems to be a habit) while she spies the logs gathered through the window. From the corner of his eye, he can see Nini look from his figure back to the blonde heading to the backyard, Ricky nervously swallows and shuffles his feet in response again.

The exes hadn't really talked much (or at all) during the summer. Of course, things were cool. Their little non-moment moment in the dressing room sort of cleared the air between the two but he has a feeling bringing Lily might've disrupted the delicate balance that stood between the pair. 

"Kourt, would you help me bring some blankets over to Carlos and Seb?" Nini fixes her best friend a look and Kourtney quickly nods in agreement.

 Ashlyn tries to clarify "Oh but I asked Gi-"

"Yeah no we got it Ash." Kourtney tells her, with that she and Nini scurry away from the awkward tension surrounding the room and make their way outside straight to the cooler with all the drinks for the night.

"Right." Ash nods in understanding and purses her lips, she avoids Ricky's eyes and gives Red's hand a squeeze before she lets go.

"I'll just be," Ashlyn awkwardly starts "not in my kitchen right now." She finishes, when she goes she gives Red this quiet look. Ricky's eyes floated between the pair as if sensing some sort of telepathic message being sent back and forth. 

Red turns to him when she's gone and huffs. "Dude what is Lily doing here?"

Ricky closes his eyes and readies himself to defend his actions, he'd been preparing the entire ride in the car with Red glaring at him over the rearview window with the blonde sitting right beside him, content and oblivious to such looks. "Look, Red she's cool."

"No, she's really not cool, at least not with me or anyone here that I know of and she wasn't even invited. This is the Caswell's place man." Red slowly explains this to him and emphasizes the name like it should click for him why Lily being over Ashlyn's parent's place wasn't a good idea. "Also what about Nini? Isn't this a little soon?" He adds with his arms crossed. 

"Me and Nini are way over." Red cast him a skeptical look that Ricky pointedly ignores. They really were. "And me and Lily are not dating or anything she's just my-" Ricky fumbles over the right word. It definitely wasn't girlfriend, acquaintance wasn't necessarily right, and friend seemed the most fitting but even that for some reason felt a bit...odd? (was that the word he was looking for?)

"What? What is she to you?" His best friend crosses his arms waiting for the answer, Ricky's eyes flicker away in annoyance. "I'm sorry is this like only open to the theater crew?" The curly-haired boy responds, a quiet bitterness in his tone that makes Red squint in confusion. "Cause if that's the case EJ technically shouldn't be here anymore since he graduated." Ricky finishes giving a quick furtive glance through the window where his eyes, no surprise, find the super senior himself smiling wide at something Gina just said. His eyes find their way back to the granite table when he spies her flick a braid over her shoulder with a graceful smile stretched on her features. 

Big Red's eyes widen at the remark, "Okay, what is your deal with EJ lately?"

"There is no deal. I'm just saying technically he's not part of theater crew anymore so..." Ricky shrugs off his comment and fights the urge to throw another borderline hostile look to the jock through the window. 

(Damn what was his deal with EJ lately?)

"So what? Ricky, he's still our friend. Plus he's Ash's cousin so" Red reasons. 

"Yeah." Ricky says curtly. He tries to look anywhere but the pair through the window only to find Lily gesturing to him to come and sit with her on the logs assembled together in a circle surrounding the fire. Red squints at his answer again, shaking his head in confusion.

"I'm gonna go join her." Ricky tells the shorter red-haired boy, he spares Gina and EJ one last glance before he does. Red sputters as he watches his best friend go sit with the girl that laughed at him during his audition earlier in the year. He crosses his arms, opting to find his girlfriend instead of deal with this nonsense.

After tons of slices, courtesy of Red's parents and a wild round of High School Musical the choosical with some music and drinks to pass the time, the lighter fluid Red brought was put to good use in making the bonfire in the backyard. 

The theater kids were in good spirits with red solo cups in their possession and an endless bag of marshmallows. Ricky smiles at Gina when she holds the bag up to him, she'd remembered what he texted. She smiled back at him like she was fulfilling the end of some made-up bargain for getting him to come to begin with. 

Ricky tells her he knows how to make a perfect s'more but the glimmer in his eye falters when EJ calls her from the fire and taps the seat right next to him on the log. Gina turns back to him with this wide-eyed open mouth (guilty?) look, she quickly gives him a small smile before she makes her way toward the elder Caswell. 

Ricky takes a sip of the ridiculously sugary (obviously spiked) beverage in his hand while his eyes trail after her figure. 

"So what do we do now?" Seb poses the question to the group, looking around the fire.

"What about a round of truth or dare?" EJ excitedly rubs his hands together at the prospect. 

"That sounds like it could be fun." Lily chimes in. 

"I'm sure you'd love to find out all our secrets." Carlos sardonically replies with a sweet tone, his nose scrunches with a fake smile. 

"Only the interesting ones," Lily delivers the same smile right back "although there probably aren't too many" She mummers that last bit but Ricky, who fixes her an incredulous look which she immediately shrugs off with a (definitely practiced) innocent one in return. He thinks the rest of them still hear her when even Seb's gaze hardens toward the blonde girl.

"I'm sure we'd love to hear yours." Natalie bites back and Carlos snorts. Gina fights a smirk while Red tries to contain a smile and even Nini chortles. Ricky starts to question if bringing her really was a good idea, especially with Ashlyn barely interacting with the rest of the group, casting them both these looks that filtered between sad or annoyed. 

Lily looks at him as if he should say something but all Ricky gives her is a flat smile, while she rolls her eyes in return. What was he supposed to do? She wasn't being very friendly. 

The closest he does to defend her is a simple, "Guys cmon" and give a look at his red-haired best friend that Lily's pretty sure leaves him fuming. The indication being Big Red pursing his lips and straining to say he's getting another drink, but not before fixing a glare Ricky's way.

Ricky gives him a wide-eyed apologetic look in response but Red's back is already turned to make his way to the cooler a few paces ahead of him. 

The theater kids exchange glances across the fire while silence envelopes the space for a moment. Nini's feet shuffle on the grass uncomfortably. Having to see her ex stand up for his...whatever Lily was to him, was not on her agenda for tonight. Maybe an awkward conversation here and there, an even more awkward handshake or hug moment, or maybe even an accidental brush of hand but there was nothing. Not that she wanted there to be something. 

The brunette had been pretty content with working on her music over the summer but Ricky with Lily of all people, I mean come on.

"Well, why don't we get started." EJ proposes, sensing the tension somewhat enveloping them. Gina is cuddled up next to him and for some reason, Ricky can only focus on the fact that he's probably eaten one too many smores because suddenly, he feels sick. The blonde residing next to him follows his eyes. 

Lily huffs an aggravated sigh and looks at the curly-haired girl across the fire, the subject of his seemingly longing gaze. What is it about her? Why is she just better at everything? Why does she get everything? The popular boyfriend, the friends, the stellar performances and talent, the school, Ricky. what was it about Gina Porter?

Lily clears her throat in an attempt to get his attention. 

(It failed)

"You seem eager to start cuz, why don't you go? Truth or Dare?" Ashlyn tells him as she adjusts the blanket around her and Red's shoulders. Gina notes it's the first she's really heard from the girl for most of the night. Then her eyes move to the probable reason why pawing the ends of Ricky's sweater. 

(If Ricky had anything, it was the nerve)

Gina rolled her eyes at the pair and swiftly looked away. She just didn't understand how he could befriend someone who'd talked down to Ashlyn, his friend, his co-lead, his best friend's girlfriend, and just think it was all okay? Not to mention someone who'd laughed during his best friend's audition. 

"Feeling pretty bold tonight, I'll say dare." Gina blinks at EJ's quick response, she reaffirms her grip on his arm and he directs a small smile at her in response. His brown eyes turn amber in the bright orange glow of the fire, for some reason she fixates on it. How wrong the color was, oddly. Her mind recalls golden flecks and a certain glimmer that was missing in the former water polo player's eyes. 

She finds the golden flecks trapped in pools of honey on the other side of the fire.  Ricky's already looking at her, at them is more like it. A lot of his attention seems directed at the arm EJ's wrapped around her. Gina clears her throat and quickly trains her gaze back to the fire, fighting the stupid nerves and guilty feelings that swarm her stomach for some reason. 

Red whispers something in his girlfriend's ear, Ashlyn casts her boyfriend a skeptic look but then he nods eagerly and she looks like she grows amicable to the idea. "I dare you to call grandma Evie and tell her you think you have irritable bowel syndrome, on speakerphone." 

"Oh, and do it in a British accent." Ashlyn adds. The mischievous smile grows on her face when her cousin audibly groans. Red chortles next to her and gives his girlfriend a high five. 

"No! you know how much grandma Evie goes on about prunes ever since her health kick." EJ whines while Gina tries her hardest to fight off a laugh. 

"I do."

"You're evil." 

The group bursts into a fit of giggles when a very confused elderly Caswell picks up the phone and goes off on a tirade about the severity of irritable bowel syndrome, how it was no laughing matter. EJ cringes at the phone when he hangs up and Carlos is clutching his stomach because he's laughing so hard. 

"Alright, Gina your turn." Ashlyn says through a tired laugh. "Truth or dare?" Kourtney implores with a raised brow.

"After such a successful phone call I gotta go with truth." Gina teases, EJ playfully jabs her in the side. 

(Ricky's smile fades)

"Describe your first crush?" Kourtney simply asks. She must admit she was a bit curious about the mysterious boy had put herself out there with. Of course with how close they were now all signs pointed to EJ but call her a gossip, she'd still wanted to know. 

Gina stills at the question, her cheeks redden with the sudden attention and weight of all of their eyes on her. She should've expected reactions like this given she wasn't exactly an open book. 

This one would be easy. She's had a hand full of people catch her eyes over the various places she's stayed over the years. Gina goes through the select few in her mind, mulling through the boys and girls that got her attention. 

Maybe she would mention the boy she would draw hearts for in the i's of his name every time she wrote it out, or the girl in her 5th-grade science class that would make her palms sweat a bit when she always gave her a smile as she passed by her on the lunch line (she made sure to avoid her at all costs). Either way, it was safe to say she was in the clear with this answer. Gina smiled thinking of the girl and readied herself to respond.

"and I don't mean the elementary school I gave you a pencil and a smile so I love you now, type of thing." The new senior elaborates, she brushes a braid over her shoulder. Carlos chortles and eyes Gina, curious to know her answer.

"I mean real crush, like heart pounding in your ears when they send you a text and you smile ridiculously anytime they walk into a room type of thing." Kourtney adds, she knows a bit of what that feels like now. The boy who played the beast from North High might've had some involvement. Nini smiles and nudges Kourtney's elbow because she's glad her best friend knows what that feels like. I used to know what it felt like, Nini sombers at the thought but Kourtney's bright smile brings her back.

"Oh." Gina's eyebrows raise and she swallows, her mind suddenly racing. 

(don't look at Ricky, don't look at Ricky, don't look at Ricky)

Ricky's curious eyes seem to carry some sort of weight because she feels her own gaze pulling toward his figure at the question. She knows she can't look at him not now. She can't remind him of her feelings and make their interactions any more awkward or painstaking than it needs to be when they were fine for now. 

How she used to feel. Gina internally scolds herself because of the fact that she keeps having to remind herself. 

It's like the drama club looms over her as she readies herself to respond, it's almost laughable how invested they seemed at such a silly question. 

"I don't think I really understood the phrase "butterflies in my stomach" until I got to know him." Gina breathes out the answer and gets lost in the words while she looks at the fire and not the boy in question. "He was funny, even when he wasn't trying to be he was anyway." she swallows. 

"He was really talented and caring. He made me feel like I wasn't alone." Gina clutches her red solo cup closer to her and EJ bites his lip, wearing this far away look in his eye as he studies her profile. 

I would talk about things with him I couldn't talk about with anybody else.

(I still can't)

Silence pulses for a few beats throughout the space while Lily ponders her answer, she turns to study Ricky's reaction. He has this small fond smile on his face like he's trying to picture Gina as a little kid with this larger than life crush. "Sounds like a really cool guy." Kourtney finally says, satisfied with her response. 

"Yeah." Gina swallows fixating her gaze on the orange ember glow. 

"Sounds like you're dating him." Carlos snorts and Seb, wide-eyed beside him pokes him with his elbow at his forwardness. Gina awkwardly chuckles while EJ visibly blushes. 

The pair still hadn't been official or anything. They'd sort of entered right back into that weird space of figuring things out between them when she came back. "Los!" Gina exclaims, "it was not EJ" she readily responds with such incredulity and certainty that EJ's face falls a bit. 

"What? Everyone was thinking it." Carlos defends with his hands up in surrender. Ricky rolls his eyes for what feels like the millionth time that night.

"It's true. I was totally thinking it." Natalie plainly states. 

"I wasn't." Ricky huffs. He doesn't quite realize it was a thought he'd said out loud until he feels everyone's eyes on him. Until he sees EJ effectively side-eyeing him, Nini (whose definitely had more than a few hard lemonades) wearing a somewhat sour expression on her face, Lily's eyes are curious yet knowing somehow like the pieces had come together in her head now, then she'd looked at the girl in question across the fire with a precise pout and an envious gaze. Gina, in turn, focused on the trees around him rather than meet his own eyes while consciously shifting a bit closer to EJ.

Ricky shakes his head like he'd been expecting she'd do that. His hand itches to bring the red solo cup closer to his mouth, so he does, as the tension in the space mounts. Natalie's eyes widen while she takes another sip of her non-alcoholic beverage, she mentally pats herself on the back for clearly making the right choice for herself tonight. 

"Okay! so who's next?" Ashlyn blurts and Red visibly exhales. The group quickly finds their flow again. (thankfully)

"Me!" Nini excitedly declares, nearly losing her balance on the log with her sudden movement.

"Okay, how many of those have you had to drink?" Seb lightly asks with tones of amusement yet concern, he trades a look with Kourtney a few seats over. 

"Just a few mom." Nini jokingly responds shaking her head. Seb tightly smiles and Kourtney's amused expression falters a bit. 

"So Neens, truth or dare?" Carlos persists with the question as he brushes his thumb over his boyfriend's hand.

Nini definitely did not want to call her lola (grandmother) after having had a few drinks, "Uh, truth."

Carlos mulls over a potential question, "Have you ever done something stupid because you were jealous of somebody?" Nini was a really sweet girl. The kind of girl that gave everyone on opening night thank you cards and gave a pep talk or two. But even the sweetest people had their moments, Carlos studies her fidget with her hands and wonders which was hers.

Nini swallows at the first thought that comes to mind. Her brown eyes avert to Gina's figure sitting calmly next to her ex-boyfriend. She thinks of how she stole her pink shoes, then a lot of other things because of some petty rivalry. How in retaliation Gina had taken her ex-boyfriend to the dance then left with the boy she'd known all her life. Nina thought of how they were both so intrinsically in her orbit still and so clearly wanted to be there. Nini brushes off the nasty thought and feelings before they could fester. Gina wasn't a bad person, she knew that. 

"Well yeah" Nini tries for an off-hand tone and luckily the drinks she's had helps with her loose body language. She makes up some story about how she was totally jealous of some girl at YAC who had a way better singing voice than she did and how she'd gotten her detention because she made admin think she broke the code of silence of Monday. 

"Of course I felt immediately bad right after and like, sent her a fruit basket." Nini supplies, hoping the drink supplies more liquid courage. Kourtney's amused expression casts her a skeptic glance. 

"Not you sending an edible arrangement." Carlos jokes. 

"I do not remember you telling me this at all!" Kourtney admits through a fit of giggles. 

"It was stupid. I don't know." Nini shakes her head and tries to laugh off the nerves all of a sudden bubbling in her stomach when Kourtney stops laughing with the rest of the group and tilts her head in question. So the brunette looks away quickly, hoping to avoid her best friend seeing the truth in her eyes. 

"I've definitely done stupid stuff in the name of jealousy." EJ remarks, casting her an apologetic glance.

"Kinda like that wonderstudies plot, you guys had." Nini clumsily chuckles, while she points between the pair. Gina bites her lip and looks in Ricky's direction. His face contorting to one of confusion but he isn't the only one. 

"God don't remind me." EJ says while huffing a laugh, it felt like forever ago. Gina blankets the uncomfortable feeling rising within her with a barely-there smile that leaves her face the moment it comes. 

"What wonderstudies plot?" Lily curiously asks. The blonde beats Ricky to it, but he feels his interest peak further alongside concern when Gina stiffens the word. It's an odd feeling, both coinciding the same space. 

EJ tries to casually explain it, "Just some stupid plan-"

"That Gina made to get the lead and get my phone to give to EJ," Nini interjects. 

She doesn't really know why she does it. Maybe she's had too much to drink, maybe she's a terrible friend or maybe she didn't really like the fact that Ricky couldn't take his eyes off Gina for more than two seconds despite the fact the curly-haired beauty had been clearly cuddled up to another one of her exes tonight.

Nini's lips purse as she takes another sip and casts a regretable apologetic glance Gina's way.

Gina squints at Nini's nonchalant candor, she knew full well Ricky didn't know. 

(and just what the fuck was her problem??)

"It was wild and completely out of line" EJ hurriedly adds upon seeing Ricky's unreadable expression, it wasn't one he wore often. 

"Is that true?" He asks the one person he'd been wanting to see, to talk to the most that night. Lily huffs a surprised laugh and puts her hand over her mouth to contain it, Natalie sends a spiteful glare her way while Carlos breathes as a way to fight the rising urge within him to curse her out in front of everyone, this was clearly not about him. 

"Sorry man I thought you knew." EJ apologetically shrugs while the rest of the theater kids exchange looks across the fire, for the most part, everyone had known and moved on. 

Ricky effectively ignores him instead, focusing on the girl next to him fiddling with her hands. He swallows in anticipation because he knows what that means. He knows she's nervous and he's terrified of having to face this as the truth. For things to have to change...not with her, not again. 

(not for the worst)

"Did you all know?" He weakly asks the group and his voice falters, Red flinches at the question while Carlos bites his lip nervously. Seb brushes his thumb against his palm to calm him down while Kourtney eyes Nini finishing the contents of her cup, warily. 

"This is the first I'm hearing about it."  Red admits with wide eyes and a shrug while he spares Ashlyn a glance, her eyes faced the ground guiltily when she thinks of how she'd been unknowingly keeping this from Ricky and her boyfriend, when she thinks of how difficult this is gonna be for Gina.

A hushed lull falls over the group while he turns and observes them all, it's confirmed then that he was the last to find out. "Of course." Ricky releases a bitter laugh and Gina still doesn't look at him. Unbelievable.

"Sooner or later you see people's true colors." Lily says through a breathy laugh, her lips curling to a smirk while she studies the girl in front of her with new eyes. She'd known she'd been right to view her as competition in more than one front. Gina was ambitious, obviously, but now she knew her weakness. She'd been denying and suppressing her cunning nature and talent for these people. 

Gina's head snaps up and Lily's back straightens a bit at the harshness of her glare, "You don't know the first thing about me, and I'd suggest you shut it considering you weren't even invited."

Carlos chokes on the ill-timed sip of his drink, gagged at Gina's quick response and how it effectively shut the blonde right up, Lily's mouth was downturned shooting daggers at anyone casting her a look. 

"I think I'm gonna go." Ricky finally says, his expression void of emotion. Gina looks up at him concerned while he stands. 

"Rickykins-" Lily calls out to him. He moves his shoulder out of reach before she could make contact while he tries his hardest not to cringe at the newfound nickname, the blonde purses her lips in response while the rest of the theater kids exchange looks across the fire at the scene.

Nini tries to call out for him as he strays from the fire. "Ricky! Don't le-" he waves her off without looking back. Her cheeks redden at her failed attempt at getting the boy she's known all her life to come back. 

All eyes fall on Gina as he walks away. She exhales, Gina has to face this and they knew it too. EJ's concerned gaze follows her as she makes her way toward the senior striding toward the driveway. 

Another voice calls to him, this one more urgent. This one makes him stop. 

Hushed whispers surround the fire pit as the theater club takes notice, they can't hear the pair but they'd all noticed he'd stopped as soon as she called. Nini purses her lips and throws out her cup, she tells Kourtney she's cold before she heads inside. Lily quietly seethes from her seat and hopes she's not going to have to uber home tonight.

"Ricky" Gina breathes out.

The rising senior takes a deep breath before he faces her.

fuck

Nothing could have prepared him for her deep brown eyes focused on his figure, guilty and boundless. Gina's eyes flicker from him to the trees surrounding them, she swallows and fidgets with her hands. He learned about that particular tic last semester when she'd been with him at the skatepark and he'd suggested teaching her how. It feels like forever ago.

and none of it was real, the thought passes through his mind and suddenly his throat feels tight and his eyes feel heavy. Suddenly Ricky doesn't want to talk to her right now. 

"Look, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry I never told you about wonderstudies and that I lied." Gina tells him, her tone is remorseful and her expression just as regretful.

She bites her lip when he huffs and sneaks a glance her way. Another tic she did when she was nervous. It also happened to be something she did when she was holding back from something. When she bit back a big smile, when the group couldn't decide which movie to watch and he could tell her annoyance was growing by the minute, when they faced off North High and she bit her lip in efforts to keep back a nasty comment.

He wonders what she's holding back now. He wonders if maybe even now, when she was saying she'd sorry, she was still holding back the truth. 

Ricky knows it can't be all fake, he knows her. Or he's only known whatever version Gina wanted him to see to get him to stay. He shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair in frustration, "We're you ever really my friend?" Ricky lowly says while he paces.

It might as well break the very fabric of reality for him if the reason she was still so incessantly bound to be in his orbit, the most beautiful thing in his orbit, was only because of some plot. 

Gina frowns and crosses her arms, "We were never friends, Ricky." Her voice is open and vulnerable and she hates it, he's done nothing to deserve it especially with this being their first time really talking in months and he's glaring daggers at her for something she did when she wasn't even really herself, he of all people should know that.

Someone could've shot him and it would've hurt less. 

(Dramatic he knows but it certainly doesn't stop it from feeling that that way)

Sure maybe there were moments and feelings that certainly didn't feel like friendship so exclusively for him, but he'd thought that would've at least been the case for her. But Ricky doesn't even have that, he doesn't even have her as his friend. Tears well up in his eyes at the thought. 

Ricky swallows, his voice shaking "Got it. So homecoming and opening night," He tries to gain some traction in his voice while the frown etched on her features deepen in concern. "That night when you said you wouldn't give up on me that was all just a lie? Some way to keep the ploy going?"

"Us, I said I wouldn't give up on us if I wasn't moving away." Gina corrects him sharply, her expression transforms to one of incredulous annoyance. He takes another step back at the pointedness of her tone. His confused gaze searches her features for any hint of what it all meant. "Honestly, I'm surprised you even remember opening night at all." She shakes her head at him. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ricky defensively asks, his own arms crossing at her words.

"I don't think I've ever met anyone so consciously inconsiderate of my feelings in my entire life." Gina mutters in astonishment. Ricky's eyebrows furrow further in confusion, Ginas annoyance grows not only because her brain stutters at how impossibly cute it is but because he's still so adamant in ignoring her feelings for him. Her previous feelings. Past tense, her mind urges.

(it's getting ridiculous now)

"Why do you think I've been avoiding you these last few months?" Gina genuinely asks him, she's reaching and pleading with her eyes and Ricky just wants to grab her by the shoulders or take her face in his eyes and ask her 'what'. What piece of the puzzle was missing? Why did she lie? Why wouldn't she talk to him when she found out she was staying?

"You avoided me and dodged me at every turn...because you didn't need to use me anymore? what? was that it?" Ricky asks her, his voice cracks with the hurt in his tone and Gina exhaustedly exhales in response. Was that why she didn't talk to him when she came back? She didn't have use for him anymore? Was that why they were in that awkward space and she didn't want him to talk to her about Nini?

"What?" Gina asks in disbelief. None of this made sense, they got each other that was something that couldn't be fabricated or replicated, she would know. But clearly, he didn't because he didn't believe her or believe in her.

"You know what, you couldn't have made your feelings more clear. Point made, Gina." Ricky biting tells her and Gina's guard is all the way up, her defenses comforting her like a blanket on a cold winter night.

"If you even have to entertain that stupid idea for a second after everything, you don't get me at all." Gina claps back.

"I guess I don't." Ricky quickly says in rebuttal, he almost wishes he hadn't when he notices her face fall and her eyes widen ever so suddenly before her mask of indifference came back. He can't believe he hadn't seen it sooner, he thought he could see through it but clearly, she only showed him what she wanted him to see. Nothing more nothing less. 

Gina nods and purses her lips while she takes in his words, her throat tightens in an effort not to cry.

"You know I thought I got you," Gina's chest burns and she bites her lip to keep the tears from falling. "But I clearly didn't." She shrugs and hates that it doesn't come off as cold and uncaring as she knows she's capable of. 

(Gina might hate him more because of that)

"You were right about one thing," Ricky says approaching her space. His tear-streaked expression somehow falls even more, he's back to feeling that quiet numbness. He makes a point of meeting her gaze before he says it. Time stretches and he kicks himself because of course, he falls into her eyes. At the last second her deep brown eyes brimming with tears traps him, Ricky studies the tight-knit frown etched on her face instead so he can say it.

"We're not friends." Ricky finally lets the words tumble out of his mouth and he moves past her. This time he's the one who leaves and Gina's the one stuck.

(Gina's heartbreaks when she thinks about how this is the pain he'd been used to, the pain that came from being left behind)

(but she doesn't care for him anymore)

(and clearly, neither does he)

[beast boi]: hey um I wanted to text u to let u know im sorry about this weekend

[ashy]: I don't think im the one you should be apologizing to ricky

[beast boi]: I wasn't talking about her 

(Ashlyn's eyes widen at the loaded text 'that's a lot to unpack' the junior thinks to herself)

[beast boi]: im talking about lily

[ashy]: lily??

[beast boi]: I'm sorry for bringing her around to ur familys place no less

[beast boi]: I didn't realize how inconsiderate i was being

[beast boi]: I kno she didn't exactly make you feel like the best belle but I know you were 

[ashy]: thanks, honestly that does mean a lot even now months after the play lol

[ashy]: I just don't know what you see in her 

[beast boi]: there's more to her, layers and stuff you know

[ashy]: especially considering her attitude with red last year

[beast boi]: wait what do you mean?

[ashy]: shit no one tells you anything :( oh honey

[beast boi]: I'm alive jus to suffer 

[beast boi]: can you pls tell me

[ashy]: she laughed during his audition when u were picking him up she was having a cackle like the witch she is

[ashy]: sorry 

[beast boi]: no I totally get it

[beast boi]: why didn't he tell me ??? or anyone?

[ashy]: I think he knows ur the kinda person that has to figure stuff out yourself 

[ashy]: you stubborn bastard

[beast boi]: *beautiful stubborn bastard 

[ashy]: well

[beast boi]: that's not a no :) !

[ashy]: okay beast boi

[beast boi]: hush :/

Last year around the same time Gina Porter had been looking at a very different list posted on the walls of East High. She'd been waiting for the role of Gabriella, the role that never came. Instead, she'd signed on for one hell of a sophomore year. Now because tryouts were held yesterday, Gina was a fucking cheerleader.

"Ash I did it!" Gina exclaims nearly tackling her best friend at her locker. She'd been almost out of breath considering she ran from the opposite end of the third hall to the second floor but the grin on her face never faltered. "Oh my God Gi, that's amazing!" Ashlyn squeals and the two clasp hands, Ash already tells her she hates that she can't miss a basketball game now.

"You're just gonna have to deal with it because your best friend is a cheerleader now." Gina replies excitedly, Ash can't help but laugh at her infectious joy.

"You're a cheerleader now?" Red asks approaching the pair. Ashlyn's smile widens and she moves to kiss his cheek.

"Yep made it on the list." Gina says with a proud smile.

"You sure you're gonna be able to balance that with the play and dancing too?" Ashlyn had reassured her many times, she of all people could help find her a less taxing extracurricular at East High, but this was something Gina wanted.

"I'm gonna be spending less time at the dance studio than I thought I would but I think it's a fair give and take." Gina wants something that's hers. It was clear she couldn't get it in the same place she would her entire life, the theater. Now she had to broaden her horizons. That was okay, she's never stepped down from a challenge.

"Yeah you're spreading your wings" Ashlyn supplies, and Gina nods in agreement. "Exactly, just trying different stuff. Plus it doesn't hurt to list it for those college apps."

"Ugh don't remind me, Ricky and I are-" Red's eyes widen along with Ashlyn's when the name slips out, Gina can't help but stiffen beside them at the mention. Their guilty eyes slowly drift to her figure and she recollects herself in instant, letting out a breath.

Ashlyn had been fully prepared to give Ricky the silent treatment and the cold shoulder come this week, it would come with its difficulties considering his best friend was her boyfriend but she was prepared to do it in the name of sisterhood. It was safe to say she'd been glad Gina was cool with her talking to him considering they'd texted just last weekend, after everything.

"Guys you can say his name it's fine it's not like he's my nemesis or anything." Gina says with what she hopes is a nonchalant shrug. "We're just...not friends." She adds, swallowing after she finds her throat tighten with emotion. She blinks when the sound of the last bell goes off, brushing off Ashlyn's concerned gaze and Red's curious eyes.

Gina's an actress first, it was showtime. Auditions for 'Into The Woods' the fall musical were happening now.

The first thing she notices once she comes in is that Ricky's actually there early for once. Gina didn't mean to she really hadn't. I mean between getting the news she'd been on the cheerleading team, getting a call from her brother during lunch and a surprise gift from EJ this morning (a new set of headphones, a white pair, they were nice but maybe a bit too pristine for her taste) she'd been having a good day.

His eyes somehow find hers in the dimly lit auditorium, she looks away first. Gina rolls her eyes and finds a seat far away from him.

("we're not friends")

Sometimes Ricky forgets how beautiful her voice is. He's trying his best not to stare up at her from his seat while she's singing on stage but it's almost impossible. She was born to be up there, all eyes were meant to follow her. At least he thinks that's why his eyes keep finding their way back to her.

Ricky tries not to get too wrapped up in the memories. He tries not to remember cold November air and baking in his house. How he'd turned down the music he blasted for them at a certain part just to hear her sing it better. Now his eyes shine looking up at her in the spotlight and when she gets off the stage he has to pretend he wasn't looking the entire time.

(He kind of hates her for that)

Gina fucking hates him.

She is so glad he didn't bring his guitar and start singing with it this time because she's pretty sure she would've bashed him over the head with it. Why does he have to be so stupidly talented? and not know it too. She crosses her arms and opts to look at the new red curtain installed last semester while he sings his heart's content. His acting has gotten better, she can't help but think if things were different she'd be telling him that when all was said and done. But they aren't.

He quickly looks away from her when her attempts at pointedly not watching him fails, and makes his way off the stage when he's done.

Just when she thought the universe was on her side today, Ms.Jenn pairs them together to read for Cinderella and The Prince.

Ricky stiffens and he's suddenly next to her, Gina opens her mouth and nothing comes out then quickly closes it again. She looks at Carlos next to Ms. Jenn almost pleadingly while the entire stage cast lineup tries not to stare or whisper.

"Um Maybe putting Gina and Seb together would work better?" Carlos suggests as they walk down.

Ms. Jenn stops and turns to look at him then back at Ricky and Gina, pointedly avoiding acknowledgment of the other. Her gaze becomes curious, as it bounces back between the two "No I think this will work." She nods moving on to Kourtney next to her. Carlos casts her an apologetic glance and her expression is forgiving. It was completely fine. Gina was a professional.

A professional that pursed her lip when she felt his arm brush against hers and glared at him when he tried to stutter an apology. They weren't packed together on the line like sardines the least he could do was respect her space. Ricky rolls his eyes and sighs in rebuttal and she has to bite her tongue so she doesn't stick it out at him. She was a professional after all. 

"I shall always love the maiden that ran away." The line comes out a lot smoother than Ricky thought it would, it gives him the confidence to move his eyes up to the princess herself. He wishes his mind would shut up when it correlates the line to every single moment Gina walked away from him, each time more painful than the last.

(but he doesn't care anymore)

(he doesn't)

"And I the faraway Prince.” Gina of course delivers the line perfectly and looks at him with just the right amount of somber resignation, the kind that could only come when two people couldn't be together. Her brown hold his at the moment, this might've been the first time she looked at him since that night. The dark circles under his eyes were a bit more pronounced in the spotlight like hadn't gotten much sleep lately.

She hates that Ms. Jenn is right. It does work. They work. It's a little awkward at first, this scene is the first time they've interacted at all since the end of August. But they do work. At least on stage, the chemistry, banter, and all the elements between them are there, she can feel it.

(he does too)

Gina hopes, wishes, prays they don't get cast as Cinderella and The Prince. While the story would be painfully ironic considering her situation, her thinking Ricky had actually been her...prince but he wasn't. It hit a bit too close to home.

So when Carlos makes that call and Ashlyn's pacing comes at a stark halt in the hallway she tries to remember that it's just a stupid musical. Carlos gives her this look before he puts it up, and suddenly nerves bubble in her stomach.

The hall buzzes with possibilities and congratulations, then she gets the weirdest case of deja vu when Ricky walks up to check the list beside her. Everyone is staring at him and it's like it's sophomore year all over again.

But she realizes this time, their gazes are actually pointed at them both.

Gina looks at the white sheet of paper and resists the urge to laugh.

Ricky Bowen- The Baker

Gina Porter- The Bakers Wife

The universe has a sick sense of humor.

Chapter Text

East High School
October 21st, 2019
4:23pm

"Hey."

Gina's heart flutters, like the curly-haired sophomore, had a pair of butterfly wings hugged to her chest when his eyes turn to find hers. She resists the quick grimace undoubtedly on her face. She wants to throw up. She's now the kind of person that feels 'butterfly wings on her chest' because of a boy. The girl who had moved all her life, perfectly crafting her walls and an effortlessly iron-clad facade of arrogance and cool (that took a hell of a lot more effort than it looked) was blushing because of a skater boy that had taken a recent 'interest' in theater and wore flannel pajama pants to school.

(So he's a bit of a fixer-upper)

Ricky's smile is shy but persists nonetheless, like the rest of his face can't help but bend to his contentedness.

"Hey." He responds with his chin slightly tilted up toward her.

(Oh the feeling is absolutely sickening)

"Hi" Red subtly interjects after pausing for a beat, he looks between the pair. This fun little interaction had become regular for the junior and sophomore with the passing days. It would probably bother him more if Gina hadn't been such an effortless inclusion to him and Ricky's dynamic. She was actually cool and wouldn't kill him with her killer cool stare she was definitely capable of, but she wouldn't.

It was a little weird if the red-haired junior was being honest. Not because of Gina herself, she was awesome. But because it was so different to what he'd known before. Even though Red had known Nini for probably as long as Ricky knew her, he'd felt like they'd both been two separate spheres to Ricky. Never really touching or interacting at least with the aforementioned junior present. But that didn't seem to be the case with the not-so-intimidating new girl actually becoming part of their duo.

"Neither of you showed up in pajama pants today." Gina observes wryly. "Should we all clap?" she playfully squints and Ricky finds his eyes roll before he even realizes it.

"What do you have against comfortable clothing? This place already makes me wanna sleep regularly." Red tells her with a shrug. "I don't see an issue in dressing for eventual naps in class."

"Go you for preparedness I guess." She claps his shoulder. Red smiles at the pseudo compliment while she snorts, crossing her arms in amusement.

Ricky's nose wrinkles, his mind still fixated on her question. "You know what, more importantly, what do you have against the clothing of our people?"

Gina's eyebrows practically kiss her hairline, "Oh, and whose that? the resident molepeople of Salt Lake City?" she teases.

"Ouch?" Red replies offended. Gina slightly shakes her head at him as if he wasn't really included in such a demographic, he quirks his lip upward pleased.

"No, Bi people." Ricky answers. "They are real, Gina." he exaggerates the words and says them slowly knowing it would annoy her. Her affectionate eye-roll lets him know his job had been done.

"Alright well, I'm bi and I'm telling you right now, I wouldn't be caught dead in those." The sophomore points out adjusting the strap of her book bag.

Ms.Jenn interjects before Red thoughtfully pitches in, "Red I'm gonna need to go over some change in stage directions with you quickly before we start." she starts gesturing to her clipboard in front of her. The red-haired junior follows his drama teacher while Ricky playfully squints at Gina.

"You saying you too good for us Porter?"

She turns to fix her brown eyes on him (wow) and snorts, "I never said that."

"Look at how you're not even denying it." Ricky claims clearly amused. "All I'm saying is I wouldn't walk around wearing pajama pants, you carried on from there." She points out settling on the bench next to him while the rest of the students file into the big room.

Ricky looks at her profile as she pulls her water bottle from her bag, his eyes spelling curiosity, "If you weren't doing all this, like theater and stuff what would you be doing?"

"I'd probably be focusing more on ballet and dancing." The answer passes easily through her lips. "I mean you know, I spend time at the studio and stuff but it's not a lot of time between school and rehearsals here," she explains fiddling with the bottle in her hands.

"That's a lot." Ricky notes observing the different sects of the drama club talk to each other, stretch, and sing.

"Keeps me busy" Gina simply says, he looks up at her and immediately knows what she means. It's away from a loudly silent home.

The curly-haired sophomore breaks away from his surprisingly tense yet soft gaze and clears her throat. "And also If I ever had the free time, I'd kick ass as a cheerleader here."

Ricky blinks slowly, "A cheerleader?" He asks as if pondering such a scenario.

"Yeah." She nods confidently, tilting her chin up. He matches the movement and a soft smile works his way to his lips. "I can see that." He breathily laughs. Gina's brow raises in question

"Mainly because I just think you'd look so damn cute in that skirt." Ricky teases shaking his head at her.

"Shut up."

(she cannot seriously be blushing right now)

"I'm serious Gi. I mean with those legs you'd be a t-h-e-r-" His nose scrunches again as he pauses (Gina doesn't not bite her lip and the action is not fond) and she stifles a laugh. "Wait how do you spell threat?" Ricky finally asks after a few moments lost in thought, the curly-haired beauty eyes fixate on his figure sitting a bit too close to her with an irrevocably charmed gaze.

"Stop speaking." Gina says through a fit of giggles, her hand lands on his arm while she shakes her head at him. She tells him something about how he and Red probably should wear something more suitable for staying up in class but she'd looked at him with such a lightness in her eyes it was like it all played out in his mind in slow motion.

(If only time moved in such a way)

East High School
September 10th, 2020
4:08pm

"Yeah I know babe, I promise I'll call tonight." Gina strutted into rehearsal phone in hand, her red and white uniform moving with her. The rest of the theater kids had been filing in behind her. Ricky resists the urge to roll his eyes at hearing the tail end of the pair's conversation.

There was something about the way she'd emphasized the endearment and laughed right after as if it were an inside joke only her and eej would understand. Ricky tears his eyes away from her and feels something sink in his stomach. For some reason the feeling makes him itch to take his own phone in his hand and text a still very persistent blonde.

The senior adjusts the handle of his book bag to set it beside him on the bench.

Gina spares him a quick cold glance. He'd actually showed up on time for rehearsal today.

"You actually showed up on time for rehearsals today." She crosses her arms over her long sleeve red and white top, with the pronounced P and panther design in bold. "Must've missed the pigs flying."

Ricky glares right back, "You also must've missed the fact that this is rehearsal not cheer practice." He says sparing her a look from her sneakers back up to her face.

(He was right about the skirt, unfortunately)

"Some of us don't have the time in between this common thing high schoolers do called extracurriculars." Gina scrunches her nose at him condescendingly. "You might've heard of it."

Ricky huffs, "Yeah I hear a lot of things."

Gina's brows furrow, "What's that supposed to mean?"

His jaw clenches as the annoyance within him grows, Ricky turns to look at Red and Ashlyn being ridiculously in love by the piano instead. But the thought persists nonetheless and Gina practically taps her foot in impatience.

"It means not everyone has to hear your conversation with your boyfriend." He finally tells her, snapping his gaze back to the curly-haired beauty. Gina stiffens and swallows, her eyes bounce to different points in the room at his statement. "Oh sorry did I ruin any other potential schemes you were planning together or...?" He dryly questions. Her eyes flicker up to his through her lashes and her glare practically burns through him.

"You are so fucking annoying." Gina bitingly tells him, her arms seem to tighten around her figure where they're crossed.

Ricky settles on his position on the bench as she quite literally looks down on him. "Aw, I'm so glad you think so." He replies in a falsely sweet tone and his head tilted up at her with a fake smile for good measure.

"See that would require me to spare you a thought." Gina mockingly pouts, "I don't think about you or your little fling at all." she finishes with an eye roll.

(God she wishes that was the truth)

"Good to know." Ricky practically pulls the words out.

"Aw was that keeping you up at night?" Gina tilts her head and squints at him while he resists the urge to roll his eyes, he's not gonna show her he's bothered.

"Well, that would require me to spare you a thought." Ricky coldly responds.

(A bald-faced lie if he ever told one)

"Besides if you did, it would be through nightmares, Gi." He adds just to spite her.

Gina stiffens at the name, "Don't call me that." Ricky looks back up to her profile, his mouth opens to respond but he ends up watching her take the seat furthest from him on the opposite end of the bench instead.

"Good to see you all!" Ms. Jenn announces from the front of the room, her perky disposition and clipboard set, ready to make them hold hands at the circle assembled at the center.

The senior ignores the glare Gina pointedly gives him when his hand lingers in hers a bit too long, or the fact that she bristled when he'd first touched her. He wasn't exactly psyched to be holding hands either, for however long Miss Jenn weirdly sang a rendition of some show tune.

Ricky sighs, it was going to be a long semester.

[rickykins]: hey lily

[rickykins]: whats up

[lily]:  heyyy

[lily]: nothing much just totally loving the new musical production over here at north high

[lily]: how's the musical over there going?

[rickykins]: um fine ig

[lily]: that doesn't sound fine

(Rehearsals with Gina were the opposite of fine but for some reason, he didn't want to talk to the blonde about it)

[rickykins]: it's whatever look um

(The senior fidgets on the bench he'd sat on through various rehearsals)

[rickykins]: I was just texting cause I wanted to kno if ur down to get pizza this friday or something

(Lily smirks. She's got him hook, line and sinker.)

[lily]: like a date?

(Ricky cringes at the message until he looks up from his phone to see Gina and her perfect ponytail and cheer uniform laugh at something Carlos was telling her)

[rickykins]: I gotta go ms jenn calls lol

[rickykins]: let me kno if ur down

[lily]: sure I'd love to rickykins

"Ricky are you with us?" Ms. Jenn's authoritative tone passes through the room and reality catches up to him.

(Oh wow she really was calling me)

"Yeah sorry" Ricky puts his phone away and clears his throat.

The curly-haired senior practically feels Gina roll her eyes at him from across the room. He resists the urge to do something childish like stick his tongue out at her. It had been this constant negative back and forth between them since the play started a couple of weeks ago. If he was being honest he didn't think not being friends would mean constantly badgering the other as they had been.

This time Red brings him back to earth. He feels a nudge on his right arm and turns to meet his best friend's pointed stare. At that point, he gets the hint. Rehearsals are for rehearsing not outside drama, they couldn't have a repeat of the HSM performance.

Not that Gina would let them, Ricky's mind pesters. Until Miss Jenn interrupts his brewing thoughts again. "-So we'll start with where we ended last time, the woods scene with the baker and his wife."

"The love ballad?" Ricky confirms with a wary expression. He avoids Gina's eyes like the plague but he still feels her rolling her own at his question.

"Yes," Ms. Jenn tightly confirms, casting her gaze back and forth between the pair. Gina clears her throat and gives the drama teacher a confident smile, fully ignoring him. "I'm ready."

"Yes well honey, 'it takes two' no pun intended, to really make this number work." Miss Jenn gives Ricky a pointed look before she walks away.

The curly-haired senior huffs a frustrated sigh, whatever was wrong with their performances wasn't entirely his fault.

"You came in too slow yesterday with your lines," Gina factually states. "I know that shouldn't be a struggle considering we're singing a ballad but I thought I should let you know."

Ricky huffs, "Criticism from the great Gina Porter, should I bow to show my gratitude?"

"I'd love that actually." She sarcastically claps back. 

"Of course you would and you won't have to cook up a scheme to get it either." Ricky snidely replies.

"You know your inability to take criticism or show gratitude is probably just as bad as your lack of professionalism." Gina turns to squit at him as the theater kids pile in sparing the two fleeting looks. The drama club seemed to catch on to their biting banter over the passing days. "I mean the HSM performance is just proof." She offhandedly shrugs. 

"Oh you mean the musical you brought me back to and schemed your way into now that I think of it" Ricky corrects.

"I didn't scheme my way into anything, and don't act like I was the only one with an agenda when I joined." Gina lowly points out, shooting him a stern glare.

Ricky swallows at the reminder of the real reason he'd auditioned for HSM last year, how she'd now been laughing with Kourtney on the other side of the room. But that wasn't what gave him pause, it was the fact that yet again he had something else in common with Gina Porter. The girl who could not stand him.

So he clears his throat while she ties her dance shoes and Ricky recovers shooting her a wry smile, he looked as if he were gonna say something. "Okay! Baker and Bakers wife, are we ready?" Ms. Jenn sets her clipboard to the table to bring their attention forward. The action prompts Ricky to take a step back, now realizing he'd gotten unintentionally close to the junior.

"From the top."

You've changed, you're daring
You're different in the woods
More sure, more sharing
You're getting us through the woods

Gina expertly covers the beginning of the song with ease because of course, she does.

If you could see—
You're not the man who started
And much more open-hearted
Than I knew you to be

She looks at him through her lashes and tries not to think too much about the words spilling from her mouth. Because if she did, she knew they'd be lies. So she faces the rest of the drama club kids instead and gives it her all like she always does.

Ricky was not much more than she knew him to be. She'd learned that plenty last semester.

It takes two.
I thought one was enough,
It's not true.
It takes two of us.

Ricky wills his voice to sing the words, he'd had enough of Miss Jenn's little comments tapdancing around the fact that her leads weren't quite getting along. Again.

Before he'd started singing she told him that the Baker was insistent that his wife does not accompany him on his journey to break the spell and how he admits that he couldn't have gotten this far without her help. She'd given him this knowing look that just left Ricky standing there more confused and even more awkward around Gina. 

His lip quirks downward when he sees Carlos and Miss Jenn share a look. Why don't you just quit?  The senior would be lying if he'd said the thought hadn't run through his mind in recent weeks. But he couldn't, everyone in this stupid group was family now, unfortunately. He'd miss singing with them, the constant gossip and feeling like he'd belonged somewhere. He couldn't give that up. 

Then there was also the fact that...

It takes care,
It takes patience and fear and despair
To change.
Though you swear to change

Ricky's stomach sinks when he thinks of how Gina would react to him quitting. He resists the urge to roll his eyes.

(She'd love that)

You can tell if you do.

Miss Jenn looks on at the pair hesitantly circling each other. If she wanted to watch shark week she would've said home and tuned into national geographic instead of coming into rehearsal today. She thinks her younger protege has a similar thought when she turns to look at Carlos's expression after the pair's rendition of the song was sung through.

It wasn't like Ricky and Gina sounded bad, the drama teacher was thankful for that at least. However, Ricky's stiffness and Gina's lack of contact with him weren't something that went unnoticed. Their voices actually paired quite nicely, she's a bit taken back how she didn't notice that or the obvious chemistry between the pairing before. At the thought, her eyes find the very reason why she didn't, sitting by Kourtney. 

Truly Miss Jenn couldn't be blamed it seemed like Ricky had always belonged to Nini, history was a powerful thing. She fixes Nini a curious look before she hands over a copy of the script to Carlos to hand over to the girl playing little red. 

"I'm gonna give them their notes, can you pass this along to Nini?" Ms. Jenn requests, passing the packet over. Carlos shoots the pair still awkwardly avoiding each other eyes a glance before giving Miss Jenn a look that said good luck. 

"My god here we go again" Carlos groans approaching the benches. Nini shows him a sympathetic smile while she looks through her script. The drama club seems like it always does during the early rehearsal stages. Buzzing, humming, and constantly moving. 

She'd missed this last semester and still couldn't help but feel like she was playing catch up with all of them. She'd missed Seb feeding Natalie Badgely's emotional support hamster and filling her in on his favorite animals on the farm, or Kourtney's fabulous plans for the costumes this semester, or Carlos's shady comments on rehearsals today, and even Red's frequent technical rehearsal fuck ups. 

Nini wasn't the center of it anymore. Instead there stood Ricky and Gina.

Miss Jenn seemed to be in deep conversation with them in the middle of the room. The boy had his eyes littering all around the room while Gina nodded taking her criticism in. She blinks when Ricky tugs on a stray curl by Gina's ear, in a way she knows was intentional. If Ginas annoyed expression after Ms. Jenn interjects was any indication.

Nini doesn't get deja vu very often.

Living in Salt Lake City means getting used to a certain degree of monotony and when you get that sameness every other day the difference seems pretty precise. Like how Kourtney drove her to school nearly every day or how her moms would always make Christmas cookies on the first week of December without fail, some things were routine.

But watching the scene in front of her, watching Ricky and Gina reluctantly try to be this perfectly imperfect married couple made her think of where she and Ricky were last year.

Nearly in the exact same spot, impossibly figuring out this situation life presented them when they were cast as leads by bickering endlessly. But now Gina was the leading lady. Not just on-stage.

"I'm sure it'll get better," Kourtney affirms, effectively waking Nini up from her thoughts. "Especially with Gina being involved" She finishes with a confident smile. For some reason that addition from her best friend bothered her. Like maybe she'd had a different take when her and Ricky were leading last year. While the comment was definitely meant to be reassuring to Carlos, it did nothing but tighten the knot forming in her stomach.

"Right" Nini chimes in, clearing her throat with a tight smile.

"It's time."

"Oh my God!" Carlos jumps at the sudden voice behind him while he sets down his bag. "Sorry, you scared me." He breathes out meeting Miss Jenn's wide icy blue eyes. She gives him an apologetic glance, "Now?" he asks and she hurriedly nods as the theater kids file in.

The drama teacher clears her throat and calls for everyone's attention to run through the agenda today as per usual. "Ricky, I'll need to see you in the prop closest for just a minute?" Miss Jenn approaches him and points at the space. Carlos shares a look with her before she moves to the front of the room.

Ricky gives her a strange look but nods nonetheless, an impassive expression coloring his features. When he finally makes it inside the small space he finds himself fiddling through the previous year's props. Apparently, the school had once done Cabaret at some point. Before HSM, he thinks shaking his head. 

"What are you doing in here?" Gina's voice wakes him from the objects beside him.

His eyes narrow at her, "What are you doing in here?"

"I asked you first."

"So mature." His lips purse in response.

"You're one to talk about maturity." Gina snorts. 

"You know l almost didn't recognize you without that wildcat logo on, it's like your personality now right?"

"I don't think that's any of you're concern." Gina says in faux disappointment, her glare sharpens. "and It's a panther, idiot." 

A clicking noise sets in place a few paces in front of him. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Gina curiously asks.

"That sounded like-" Ricky hurriedly makes his way to the door to see if his worst suspicions were realized. 

(They were)

"Please don't tell me it's locked." Gina slowly says. Ricky's eyes close while he still holds on to the knob, letting out a breath.

"Okay, I won't."

Gina rolls her eyes, "Move." She shoves his shoulder as she repeatedly moves the small knob in her hands, prompting it to open the door. "Cmon," she whispers before resorting to banging her first on the wood to let someone know they were in here. 

"it's gonna be fine Ms. Jenn asked me to come in here, she's probably coming right now." Ricky lowly tells her, his eyes awkwardly bouncing to each prop. 

"Wait Ms.Jenn told you to come in here?" Gina tentatively asks him. His hazel eyes meet her brown and suddenly he knows exactly why he's standing next to a prop skull with his nemesis of sorts. His mind flashback to a weird conversation a few days ago with the drama teacher in question, Carlos listening in a few paces away. 

"Carlos said he wanted to talk to me in here, of course, they did this." Gina shakes her head and Ricky looks down at his shoes. 

"When I told Ms. Jenn to get us to talk she'd basically have to lock us in a room together I was kidding." Ricky breathily admits with wide eyes. "I didn't think she'd take it literally."

The curly-haired skater is pretty sure he sees her eye twitch so he immediately takes a step back when he does. "You gave her the idea to lock us in a room together?" Gina incredulously asks. 

The curly-haired senior scratches the back of his neck, shaking his head. "Well, not ex-."

"No, he did." A voice interjects from the other side of the door. "Ms.Jenn??" Gina exclaims surprised while Ricky practically jumps at the additional voice on the other side of the door.

"You two need to talk things out so we can move forward." Miss Jenn simply states, "I'm sorry but it seems you've left me with no choice." she regretfully adds.

"This is definitely breaking some type of teaching law." Gina says in disbelief while Ricky shakes his head, pacing in the small space.  

"Which is why I'm taking full responsibility for whatever happens." Another voice rings out. 

Gina's hand stops at the center of his chest to get him to stop pacing, warmth trails there. "Carlos??" Ricky incredulously calls when he stops, the pair share a look.

"Figure it out. Love you both! Bye." Carlos's voice trails off. 

"Carlos, what the fuck?" Gina incredulously exclaims, slamming her hand on the door again. When she gives up on fiddling with the doorknob she slowly turns to face him.

Ricky bounces on his heels and takes somewhat of a sheepish stance while she stalks towards him. His eyes loosely move to the different materials in the prop closet, their stuff from the BATB and HSM productions was still there.

Suddenly he feels a sharp pinch in his left ear, Gina drags him to the other end of the very small closet away from the door. "Ow! Ow!" He exclaims as he moves. 

"Shut up!" Gina whisper yells. "She can probably hear you through the door."

"If she can hear then why assault my ear?!" He asks, rubbing his now sore ear.

"Because we need a plan to get our wacky-ass teacher to get us out of this closet, Dr.Suess!" Gina pokes at his unintentional rhyme.

"Okay! What's your plan genius?" Ricky concedes.

"Just pretend to make up." Gina hurridly states. 

"We're not even fighting." Ricky plainly says. "We're just not friends." The curly-haired beauty crosses her arms at that.

"Is that why I'm stuck in a closet with you?" She points out. Gina exhales looking up mustering the patience to continue. "Look Ricky obviously this little riff is affecting our stage chemistry and I can't have that so-"

"So what? Quit the play?" Ricky studies her face after he says it, he doesn't know what he hopes he sees or why he does it.

"You're not gonna do that." Gina rolls her eyes and shakes her head in annoyance at the mere suggestion.

(okay that he didn't really expect)

"How do you know that?" He crosses his own arms. 

Gina purses her lips and sneaks a glance at her shoes before she looks back up at him. "Because unfortunately, I know you."

(Yeah well I don't know you)

"I thought I knew you."

"God here we go again." Gina tiredly sighs, "I never lied to you."

"Yet you spent months scheming with EJ to get the lead and used me being lead to get what you wanted." Ricky says it in a bitter melodious tone.

"I didn't even get it! Why are you still pressed?"She says confused, her shoulders dropping with her words. 

"I'm not. Because we're not fighting and we're not friends." Ricky reaffirms. 

"Have you always been this insufferable or is this just a new layer of your personality I'm discovering?" Gina squints, opting to look away from him because she'd realized the urge to grab him by his ear again was rising.

"I don't think you knew me long enough to really tell." Ricky offhandedly says.

"I can't believe I ever li-" The curly-haired junior stiffens and pink tinge colors her cheeks for a moment. "Was your friend." Gina quickly recovers, relaxing her shoulders as she leans on the wooden banister.

"I can't believe you're with EJ of all people now." Ricky mutters while leaning on the opposite side.

"What was that?" Gina's eyebrow quirks. Where the hell did that come from?

"I mean I guess it makes sense," Ricky purses his lips and she crosses her arms defensively while he continues. "All that plotting last fall and you living in Ashlyn's house." He adds that last bit like it was something strange and wrong. That odd feeling Gina felt throughout the summer when the romantic tension would come between her and EJ, was suddenly all her mind could fixate on.

"You have no idea what I want or who, for that matter." Gina defensively tells him.

"A boyfriend that's states away was always the dream?" Ricky sarcastically asks.

"Oh, excuse me I'm fine with my choices." Gina resolutely says.

"You are?" Ricky pushes back. The question stops them both in their tracks.

"You know what, we're just going in circles." Gina finally says breaking the silence, she rubs her forehead tiredly. "I care about the musical okay? And I know you do too."

"It's still hard to be somewhere you're clearly not wanted," Ricky confesses, his left leg fidgeting with his words. Gina sees it and her eyes soften on their own.

She shakes her head trying to control her expression, he's the reason you're in here. "You'd know all about that."

"So would you." Ricky subtly replies. Gina was all jagged edges and sharp looks when she got here. She wasn't exactly the 'making friends' mold, so the theater group initially wasn't very welcoming to her either in a way.

Gina lets out a short laugh before she breathes out, "Look if I can suck it up and pretend to be married to your annoying ass, so can you"

Ricky looks at her for a beat then back at the door. She was trying to get them out of there. "Fine." 

"Just fine?" Her eyebrow quirks again. 

Ricky thinks back to her statement before, about being fine with her choices with EJ. Could ask you the same thing, the words lie on his tongue. "Contrary to popular belief I'm capable of being professional." He says instead.

"Yeah, I know." Gina reluctantly mutters and suddenly the door makes a clicking noise, Ricky's head snaps back to her when he hears it.  

"Alright, how are we feeling?" Ms.Jenn looks back and forth, studying their figures. She'd seemed relieved they hadn't killed each other. 

"Were you listening to us the whole time?" Ricky warily asks effectively shutting the door from the outside. Ms.Jenn gives him a doubtful confused look. 

"Oh, no honey we've got a show to rehearse." She tells them. "I just figured a few minutes talking things through in a space for you two wouldn't hurt." Gina observes her teacher's clasped hands. She thinks about how she hadn't exactly intervened the first time her leads weren't exactly getting along and that led to the disaster that was HSM opening night. 

"I know my methods aren't exactly orthodox but it seemed to have done the trick." Miss Jenn nods when they share a look.

"Sure." Gina reluctantly nods. 

"Alright, I'll come in when you're ready." Ms.Jenn offers them both smiles like she hadn't just locked them both in an enclosed space for like twenty minutes against their will. Gina shakes her head at the ridiculousness and stops Ricky from walking through the door with a hand to his chest again. Suddenly she's very conscious of the space between them, or lack thereof. His doe hazel eyes widen a bit and his lips slightly part, so she moves her hand and looks down at her white sneakers before casting her eyes on him again. 

(what the fuck)

"Oh and one more thing my relationship, co-star or not, is none of you're business." Gina clearly tells him after taking a step back. 

"Got it." Ricky feels like he'd just swallowed a bitter pill then clears his throat before making his way inside, leaving Gina in the hallway.

[gi <3]: hey <3

(The junior had gone back and forth with herself whether she should use babe or honey as a greeting but it just felt weird, so the heart seemed to work)

[ elijah james ]: hey babe

(oh and he went right for it, unironically)

[ elijah james ]: sorry I haven't gotten the chance to call lately

[ elijah james ]: these first few weeks have been crazy

[ gi <3 ]: yeah well I wanna hear all about it caswell

[ elijah james ]: cassie just been such big help. 

[ gi <3 ]: that's the girl from ur floor right?

[ gi <3 ]: she sounds so cool

[ elijah james ]: she really is

[ elijah james ]: not as cool as you tho ;)

"I just don't know what to say now." Gina huffs, eyeing the phone she just threw on her bed a few moments ago. 

Cassie had been one of the more consistent names from the many Gina had heard from the college freshman. EJ always seemed to be raving about how fun, open and wise she'd been which was fine...but every time he did he'd charge forward in the conversation with a compliment to Gina like he'd been anticipating her jealousy when in truth she'd been feeling pretty weird about the whole thing. Like she was caught up in what she was supposed to feel and not what she actually was. 

"He just said she wasn't as cool as you." Ashlyn reminds her. "Honestly I wouldn't make anything of it, EJ is just super popular. Always has been."

Gina didn't really think she'd ever find herself in this position. Long-distance dating was not ever something she'd thought she'd do given how she grew up. Knowing that in some way shape or form people forget, and go about their day-to-day lives. Those bonds fade. It was no one's fault it just happened. 

She can't help but hear Ricky's words from a few weeks ago, A boyfriend that's states away was always the dream? Gina fiddles with the soft plush baby blue duvet on top of the covers while her lips purse. 

(God he was so annoying)

"Do you think that maybe you're feeling a little...jealous?" Ashlyn's sudden question wakes her from her stupor. The red-headed girl studies her profile when she looks back down toward the blanket in thought. 

Gina knows what jealously feels like. She's dealt with it her whole life. Lots of people have been jealous of her. She'd auditioned for countless performing art schools, the girls at a few of her dance classes would definitely spare her a nasty glance over the years and her off-broadway auditions were anything but friendly faces.

Of course, she'd only recently been introduced to what it felt like to want something, someone so bad it drove her to such a green feeling...but EJ was not the person that came to mind. She tries to push the fallen snow of new years day, singing love ballads with guitars, root beer, and a sinking feeling in her gut away from her mind when the flashes come through.

"Yeah, that might be it." Gina lies. The frown on her face furrows when Ashlyn leaves to go do homework.

(she's pretty sure her best friend doesn't believe her either)

Evenings at Red after rehearsal had been a routine thing since before they were even involved with musicals. Often after visiting the skateparks when they just got out of school (or when they'd ditch last period), they'd go to the pizza shop and straight to the basement right after to occasionally share a joint. 

"You've been killing it in rehearsals lately dude." Ricky nudges his best friend. Red had been doing pretty well with his role as Rapunzel's Prince, Ms. Jenn's notes blessing as the weeks went by. Ashlyn being cast as Rapunzel might've been a factor too. The two had quite the rapport. 

"Thanks, I think I'm getting the hang of this whole theater thing." Red says with a small smile. "I think Ash has really helped."

"You haven't been doing too bad either." He points out. "Maybe that prop closet intervention really did help."

"That was weird and definitely made me think twice about us saving Ms. Jenn from getting fired sophomore year." Ricky's nose scrunched at the thought. "But I guess it did." He exhales relaxing further into the couch cushion.

Red eyes him for a minute, going back and forth in his mind with what he should say next. "Rehearsals were kinda awkward with you guys for a minute." Red finally says. "For a second there you had me worried you were gonna quit."

"Nah, I knew I couldn't" Ricky looks away from him. "I mean how would you do the show without me?" He facetiously continues.  

"Oh right yeah of course." Red jokingly replies.

[lily]: hey rickykins

(Ricky sighs, starting to feel a bit of his buzz wane, Red eyes him from his comfortable position on the couch. He turns to look at the window media player design swirling around the screen he prompted on his laptop earlier.)

[rickykins]: hey 

[lily]: so any plans for this weekend?

Ricky groans as his head falls back to the couch cushion. Red blinks before he turns to look at his best friend curiously. Lily was forward and went for what she wanted, she was also very persistent he'd give her that. But all that could be so difficult to deal with when the person she persisted after had no idea what he wanted. 

Red sighs practically feeling the weight of his best friend's thoughts. "What's up, man?" Ricky tosses his phone onto the brown coffee table. 

"It's Lily." He admits. Of course, thought the red-headed junior, he resists the urge to roll his eyes and hear his friend out. He knows Ricky. He knows his best friend is the type of person that needs to figure things out for himself and yeah he needed a little push every now and then but for fuck sake, Red thought he would've figured it out by now. 

But then his inebriated mind takes him back to his conversation with gina and Ashlyn at the beginning of the year, how they weren't friends and how it for sure complicated things.  Red shakes his head and tries to focus on his best friend's rambling, his eyes squinting in an attempt to focus. 

 "I don't know, it's just a little difficult to feel on the same page, I guess." Ricky answers as if looking for the words in thin air. "Maybe it's because don't really know where we stand?"

Red tries not to roll his eyes he really does, he thinks he doesn't after all his acting has improved over the year. "You've done this song and dance before dude." He tiredly tells his best friend, leaning his own head back on the cushion of the armchair.

"What do you mean?" Ricky asks, his eyebrows furrowing. The words felt like they carried a bit of an accusing tone underneath.

Red sighs, "It's just-"

"I mean Lily can be a little rude sometimes but it's only because she's like, guarded." Ricky defends, feeling a little soberer at the moment.

"Ricky-" Red tries to interject again, annoyance growing within him. Ricky knew full well what she had done, the fact that she put both Red and Ashlyn down. Yet he was still willing to give her a chance. Yeah of course people deserve second chances but not the wrong ones. 

Ricky continues like he never even heard him and that pretty much sets the red-haired senior off. "And I get it you guys don't like her, I mean you have good reason not to but I don't know something tells me I shouldn't just q-"

"She's not Gina!" Red finally exclaims. Silence takes over the usually vibrant basement. Ricky's pretty sure he can hear Red's dad washing dishes upstairs. The red-haired senior swallows and slowly blinks, looking away from his best friend.

"I'm sorry dude." Red finally says, Ricky turns his attention from the top of the stairs back to his friend. "I didn't mean to yell." He sheepishly says. 

"No it's-" Ricky swallows and shakes his head, his mind swarming with the implications of what he'd just said. She's not Gina, it plays like a mantra over and over in his head. He fidgets with his favorite ring and his leg bounces. "It's fine." He tells him with a plaintive smile. 

"No Ricky, it's not fine. I'm sorry. it's just-" Red stutters as he gets up from his armchair, Ricky fixes him a wide-eyed look. He sighs when he meets his curly-haired best friend's gaze. “It's just…you cant take what went wrong with someone and try to make it right with someone else. You gotta like, face stuff man." 

Ricky blinks and shakes his head, his defenses moving faster than his actions do. "I just-" He lowly starts. "I don't know what you mean."

Red's shoulders fall and Ricky looks at his sleep apnea machine on his dresser drawer rather than his brown eyes. "Yes, you do dude." He softly tells him. Red exhales, it was time to push.

"You don't sit in this armchair anymore." Red points out, Ricky's eyes bounce back between his best friend and the seat, confused. "You won't quit the musical." He adds, shaking his head waiting for him to get it and when nothing seems to click he swallows and continues on his tirade, "and you don't even drive my car." He adds incredulously while Ricky just sits there with this distant look in his eye. 

"What does that have to do with anything?" Ricky shrugs, his steely tone tells Red everything he needs to know. 

(He knew exactly why)

He's not running away from this now, The red-haired senior thinks determinedly. "The last time you sat in this chair was last November." Red reminds him. Ricky looks at the beat-up brown chair, the night Gina and Carlos had practically come up with the choreography to save Ms. Jenn comes to mind. How he'd spun her around just as an excuse to be close to her and how she laughed so loud and bright it was practically the only sound he could hear in a room full of attention-hungry theater kids.

"You haven't driven my car since homecoming last year." Red slowly says starting to see the light growing in his eyes. Ricky leans forward from his position on the couch with a renewed focus. He was right he'd been driving his dad's car this whole time or seating in the passenger's seat, insistent on the fact that he'd been wanting to drive on his own for a while now even though that was never the case. He can still remember the smell of her perfume in his best friend's car and it finally hits him, he doesn't want to sit back there if she's not going to be in the passenger's seat hiding a smile.

"And you stayed in the play last year because of her, I don't think I'm too far off in saying you haven't quit this year because of her either." Red boldly finishes. Ricky looks up from the small coffee table and feels his head spin. 

[rickykins]: I think we should talk

Chapter Text

"This is insane."

In hindsight, Ricky pacing back and forth in front of his TV set after telling him his mistakes with Gina couldn't be resolved with someone else, it constituted a normal day ending with a y. It seemed since the curly-haired beauty had danced her way into their lives last fall she'd been turning East High on its head and making Ricky completely lose his in ways that couldn't be explained. It had nearly become a new normal, at least to Red. 

"Is it?" Red asks with a skeptical raised brow. The redhead skater relaxes further into his comfortable armchair while Ricky pauses in front of the screen. 

"I mean of course Lily isn't Gina, she doesn't hate my guts." Ricky exhaustedly explains. Red ponders his words and winces, finding himself agreeing. "I'm pretty sure I hate her." Ricky finishes and at that, Red snorts.

"No, you don't."

Ricky bites his lip and feels his face sour in annoyance, "Fine, I don't." He admits through gritted teeth. 

Red's eyes widen, "Oh."

"What?" Ricky asks suddenly nervous, his eyes flittering between looking at his best friend and his skateboard by the staircase.

"I just-" Big Red starts, "I thought that was gonna be a lot harder to get you to admit."

Ricky sits with his words for a moment before he releases a sigh. "Well...I don't exactly like her at the moment."

"What?" Red shakes his head confused. Trying to get into Ricky's head was an impossible task even after all these years. It just seemed like a never-ending meltdown with desks and file cabinets burning was the true state of his mind of the curly-haired skater.

"She lied to me. Like at the start of all this. This whole time she never wanted to be-" Ricky struggles to find the words. That seemed to always be the case when he tried to define what Gina was to him.

"Can you for once finish a sentence?" Red exhaustedly sighs, falling back into the cushion.

"The point is she had an agenda from the very beginning and I can't trust her."  Ricky adamantly states while Red shakes his head, "And she's super mean to me now which doesn't help so." Ricky tilts his head in contemplation. It seemed the two couldn't really see eye to eye at the moment. In all honesty, it had seemed pretty maddening, how Gina went from someone that almost seemed like a mirror image of him to someone he couldn't dare begin to comprehend. 

"You had an agenda at the start of all this too!" Red points out.

Ricky furrows his brows, "What are you talking about I never used G-"

"Does your little scheme to join the musical to win Nini back not ring any bells?"

"That wasn't a  scheme ." Ricky defensively says, crossing his arms over his chest. "That was just like my motive to join the musical or whatever it's not the same thing."

"It totally is. You and Gina were both in the wrong." Red sits up from his relaxed position while Ricky purses his lips and shakes his head.

"Fine, so me and Gina had some not-so-great plans last year." the senior relents with wide eyes. "She still hurt me." Ricky's fingers lightly graze the ring his mother had given him two winters ago. 

Red's expression softens at his friend's discontented disposition, "Did she not apologize for that?"

"Well," Ricky starts, "Yeah." he admits trying to push all the uncomfortable feelings the reminder of the painful conversation they'd had months prior. The pain in his chest swells when he remembers Gina's tearful expression, when he remembers how his heart plummeted to his stomach as he walked away. 

"So why are you so mad?" Red asks, leaning forward with inquisitive eyes.

"I'm not mad." Ricky admits, running a frustrated hand through his hair. It was all starting to get a bit too much. The questions were pushing memories and feelings he'd been trying not to think over too much in his mind, but something in him had been trying to make sense of what Red was pushing for all the same. 

"Okay, then why didn't you leave the musical Ricky?" Red firmly asks. 

"Because this weird little group is my family now." Ricky honestly answers. It was his last year after all. When it was all said and done he'd be graduating by the end of the year saying goodbye to this odd chronically online eclectic group of theater kids that had come to mean more than he could say. A group that had become his family when his house started to feel a little less like home. 

"And..." Red persists with an outreached hand. He knows it's not just his friends that made him want to stick with theater. 

Ricky exhales and a beat passes between the pair. Red anticipates another evasive response before he can push for the real thing again, "and I was worried what Gina would think." At that Red nearly jumps in surprise at his best friend's candor. 

"Because..." Red insists with wide eyes, he was almost there.

Ricky looks down toward his shoes, "Because....she hates me?" he lowly answers. 

"and that bothers you...why?"

"I never said it did?" Ricky lies defensively and Red exhaustedly sighs, his hand raises to rub his forehead.  "My god Ricky cmon." he incredulously replies. 

"Fine, it does!" Ricky exclaims with shaky hands and wide eyes.

"Why?" Red eagerly asks.

"Because I love her!" Ricky finally snaps and completely stills when he realizes what just came out of his mouth. Red's jaw nearly touches the ground in complete shock at the skater's words. Of course, his best friend had suspected Ricky had harbored feelings for the curly-haired beauty but 'love' didn't come easy to Ricky. The whole reason the skater and Nini had broken up last summer was because he couldn't say the words and now he watches the words pass (not so easily) from his lips. Red searches his mind for what to say but Ricky beats him to it.   

"Because I love her and I hate that she lied to me at the start of all this and we're in this weird place now and she hates me but she's still all I can think about, all the time." Ricky passionately dispels as if in some sort of daze. The words and emotions rip through him like a dam breaking. 

"Wow," Red whispers in complete shock. 

"Wow" Ricky breathes and feels the world just roll off his shoulders. Like he was no longer Atlas and those unresolved feelings he'd been battling for so long with a fiery red hot sword just rusted into a fine golden ember. He was free yet so resolutely  not  free at the same time.

"You love Gina!" Red exclaims in astonishment as if reconciling with the words himself.  It seemed no one really knew how truly deep the bond between the skater boy and dancer had been. It doesn't really seem real how they'd been completely overlooked in a nosy group of theater people. Everyone could've told you they knew Ricky and Nini would get back together by the end of the fall semester last year, Red supposes that's probably why no one would've seen this coming. No one saw the time they'd spent at the skate park, Gina's dance studio, or the fond glances in rehearsal.

Ricky immediately puts his hands up with wide eyes, coming closer to his best friend to quiet him. "Shhh! Don't let the whole town hear that." he swallows when Red seems to get the memo and relaxes into his seat again. The senior blinks again and tries to breathe through the words ringing in his mind over and over, he loves her. Ricky twists the ring in his hand as his body starts to slowly pace in front of the TV again. I love Gina, he thinks to himself, and a calm feeling sort of blankets him this time. He nods through the words with a soft smile because it made sense. Of course, he did how could he not. 

"Sorry I just..." Red shakes his head in disbelief "I thought that was gonna be a lot harder to get you to admit."

Ricky lets out a breathy laugh,  "Yeah me too." 

"You know," Red softly reproaches, "she never lied to you about who she was Ricky, your feelings are real."

The calm that Ricky had felt upon realizing his feelings was now met with a sad kind of certainty that turned that comforting blanket into something suffocating with the reminder his best friend's words brought. "She's never gonna feel the same way Red." Ricky dejectedly shakes his head. She hates him now, and rightfully so. He'd been so blind, so caught up in his own troubles he hadn't been there for her when she needed him.

"I don't think that's for you to say"  Red carefully counters. "Besides you're not the kinda person that gives up easily."

"Maybe I am."  Ricky shrugs and lets himself fall into the brown couch across from his frowning best friend. "Maybe I'm not the kind of person someone like her should be with let alone want around." he mournfully states, Red sits up a bit more and opens his mouth to quickly shut down the remark. 

"She hates me." Ricky whispers the infallible fact.

Red purses his lips at the thought, "That may be true"  he concedes while Ricky casts his downcast gaze toward the ground, "but that hasn't always been the case." the curly haired senior's eyes snap back to his best friend. 

"I mean you were probably biggest the reason she came back to the show last winter." Red answers hopefully with a shrug. 

"What are you talking about, dude? EJ brought her that plane ticket." Ricky reasons. 

Red cast him a skeptical look, "Do you honestly think that she would've even gotten on that plane if it wasn't because of how close she got to you?"

His mind fixes on Red's words to him like a fine point before Lily's message to him interrupted the seriousness lingering in the air. 

The same thing happens when the blonde appears before him in the Salt Lake City mall food court they'd agreed to meet at.

"I hope you have a good reason for summoning me on a school night." Lily playfully says eyeing his leg bounce.

Ricky anxiously nods in response, his eyebrow momentarily furrows at her word choice while she settles on the metal chair across from him. Summon, his mind considers; like she was some creature of the night and he was a boy drawing pentagrams and reading from a grimoire.

The senior shakes his head of the pointless thoughts.

"Um, thanks for coming." Ricky outrightly says. "I'm sorry for texting so out of the blue. I wanted to talk."

"About what?"

Ricky tries to breathe out the nerves. "I don't think we should date. Like ever." He cringes at the unintentional addition at the end. The senior didn't mean to say it like that, he further regrets his words when he sees her expression contort from one of surprise to indignant embarrassment.

Lily's icy blue eyes momentarily widen.

"That came out totally wrong. I-I'm sorry." Ricky puts his hands up in defense with a wide eyed gaze of his own. "I just mean I don't think we should be more than friends." He backtracks politely. 

Lily clears her throat and tames her facial expression to something of nonchalance, "Okay I mean I'm not all that surprised you never really seemed all that interested I guess." she offhandedly says, her eyes bouncing back from his awkward figure to the pretzel stand paces away.

"I think we can still be fr-" 

Lily rolls her eyes and (thankfully) barely lets him get the words out, "Can you just tell me what is it about her?" Her gaze is pointed at him while she shakes her head curiously.

Ricky's brows furrow in confusion. His mind sort of plays gymnastics in attempt to understand who exactly she's talking about, so naturally, it goes back to his first relationship. Lily had, after all, meddled somewhat in his and Nini's relationship last semester. "What? look Lily this has nothing to do with Nini okay." he confidently assures her. That ship had been sailed. 

Lily's glare becomes harsh at his oblivion, whether it was intentional or not was still a mystery to her and that only served to annoy the blonde further. "I know it doesn't. I'm talking about Gina." she says with her arms crossed. Ricky stutters through his response, not quite knowing what to say.

(My God is it that transparent? Did everyone know but him?)

"I just don't get it. I mean what makes her so special?" Lily continues belligerently through his grating stammering. 

Ricky releases a breath when the words finally come. "Honestly," he swallows "I don't think there's enough time in the world for me to give you that answer." The senior could probably speak for hours on end on everything that made Gina Porter. Even then they'd only be theories or ideas that just scratched the surface on everything she exceptionally was and continued to be, just naturally. 

The blonde purses her lips at his honest response. "I stole your harness." Lily admits with a certain pointed cavalier tone as if it were some kind of clap back to his answer.

Ricky had been expecting a lot of things. Lily calling him every name in the book, maybe screaming or crying a little because, well she was a theater person.

(Those words he didn't see coming)

"Oh um okay." Ricky lets the words sink in. "That's pretty fucked up." he decides. 

"Not as fucked up as leading me on this entire time." She retorts.

"Well stealing someone's harness is-" Lily's heated stare hardens so Ricky shifts his words.

"To be fair, I did say at the beginning of the summer I didn't see things going anywhere."She is a sophomore. Ricky tries not to cringe at the thought. The blonde crosses her arms and purses her lips.

"I'm still sorry." Ricky concedes with an earnest expression, as rueful as it could be to someone who stole his harness.

"Yeah, I guess I am too." Lily replies as if bored of the conversation already. As if his answer proved as underwhelming as he was. 

"Okay." Ricky awkwardly nods. That wasn't really an apolog-oh she's leaving.

Lily stands with her pale blue purse in hand, sparing him an apathetic glance up and down. "Bye, Ricky Bowen." She says his whole name like she was the main character of a movie who'd just decided he will no longer be a supporting character.

"Bye." He lamely replies, cringing further into his seat.

The skater senior finds he doesn't feel as empty as he thought he would. For the first time in a long time, he'd been truly single, without anyone in his peripheral. 

(besides the girl that would never in a million years give him a chance and it could not be stressed enough, rightfully, hated his guts)

Gina had never sat on the sidelines of his vision though, the curly-haired beauty always seemed at the forefront. Ricky could kind of take like a moth to a flame at times, circulating and being drawn to the brightest thing in orbit. It makes sense that the only one left, the one person shining the brightest, was her. 

He could only think of that on the drive back home from the mall when he texted Red about what happened later that night, when he went to sleep, and when he awoke the first thing that morning. 

Fuck I'm in trouble. 

[mom]: Hey honey just wanted to let you know your flight is booked for Thanksgiving :)

[Ricky]: okay cool

[Ricky]: thanks mom

[mom]: You're welcome. Jaz sends her love by the way

[mom]: Well more accurately she wanted me to quote "send him a tougue sticking out emoji and tell him I think he smells"

[Ricky]: aw I think she really misses me

[mom]: She clearly misses you

(Ricky smiles when he reads the message)

[mom]: She isn't the only one

[Ricky]: I miss you too mom

[mom]: Get here in one piece will you

[Ricky]: I will

[Ricky]: and tell jaz she's an annoying little butt face

[mom]: I'm not telling her that Ricky

[Ricky]: cant say I didn't try

[mom]: We love you honey. Sweet dreams <3

[Ricky]: love you too

[Ricky]: give her a kiss goodnight for me will you? she'll hate that.

[mom]: Oh I'm sure :)

Rehearsals nowadays are a place of mixed feelings for him. The good thing about it was that there was always something going on, something to act as a ready distraction between him and the confusing feelings. Like Natalie losing her hamster again, Seb's ridiculously good sound register, or Kourtney's new costume find.

But these new feelings were attached to a person. A person that just so happened to hate him.

Ricky sneaks a glance at her a few paces from him on the stage, holding her script and moving her foot to some silent beat. His eyes soften.

He couldn't hate her, he never has but at least he doesn't have to act like it now that he knows the truth. The real truth, that she wasn't pretending to be his friend and genuinely cared for him. At least she did, he glumly thinks looking down toward his shoes.

(Look where that got her)

Ricky shakes the dark thought. He has to put in the work and make it up to her. The senior can't get caught up in whether he was worth it or not, he'd never win that contest.

"Hey"

He has to start somewhere.

Gina spares him an unpleasantly confused furtive glance, "Hi...?" she greets, the tone littered with confusion as she turns to look back to her script. The pair had been keeping their interactions short and not so sweet ever since the closet incident. Gina was a professional first, she'd be his dotting or nagging wife, whatever the situation called for before she was his least favorite person, nemesis, enemy, or whatever it was they were or weren't these days.

Ricky hadn't actually expected her to respond, he counted it as a win the junior didn't spare him a sideways glance and ignored him like he'd been expecting. A jolt of hope surges through him that prompts him to play with his worn script. From there, his gaze catches the sight of her own pristine highlighted and very annotated copy of the script. 

The senior steps closer to her to inspect the page she'd been studying so closely moments ago. 

"Can I help you?" Gina's lips curl downward while her brows scrunch.

"Why do you have so many annotations?" Ricky curiously asks with his hands binding his rolled up script behind his back. He tilts his head toward her script and studies her firm profile, he fights a small smile at apparent annoyance rising within her; it was written all over her face.

"Can you try maybe looking at your own script? You know, the one in your hand instead of mine?" Gina passive-aggressively retorts with a sharp false smile. Then Ricky looks away from her, toward the velvet auditorium chairs and she considers it the end of whatever that was until he snatches her script right from her hands. 

"Ricky!" Gina immediately exclaims indignantly calling after him, "Seriously?!"

"Seriously?!" He automatically mimics with a playful grin looking back from the annotated text to her, "How is it humanly possible to annotate this much?" He asks as he further observes the text in the fair warm glow of the auditorium lights above them.

"It's called being prepared," Gina snarks as she approaches him, "Though I'm not surprised you know nothing about it." Ricky fights a smile and this time she notices. The curly haired beauty squints at his quiet amusement, already tired of whatever game he was playing at. She impatiently huffs and charges forward. "Just-" she starts reaching upward toward the collection of paper he was precariously guarding.

Gina couldn't quite reach it, so when Ricky turns she finds it an opportune moment to put an end to the stupid weird game, because even though she's not playing she obviously wins. The senior yelps and huffs an unexpected breath when Gina launches herself on his back to reach for the script. She was a lot stronger than she looked.

"What the f-"

"Just give-"

Ricky, of course, had to slightly turn his head at the exact moment her eyes moved from the desired object to his face inches away from hers. Her hand stills midair from where it's dangerously close to her copy of the script and his own hand. Ricky's hazel eyes with gold flecks greet her brown pools with such intensity and a familiar glimmer in them she knows she needs to look away but she finds she can't. A certain kind of energy forms between them. A tension so clear and palpable Ricky fights the urge to breathe so the moment doesn't end. 

The tension is familiar in that it's kind of like the one that's been building for weeks only that one is charged in a different way, it's clear. Ricky and Gina don't like each other. But now Ricky's eyes drift to her lips and it's so unbelievably not clear and messy and charged. 

and what the fuck is he doing? Gina thinks to herself in confusion and disbelief. 

"Oh and here I thought the worst was over." Ms.Jenn dramatically calls, clipboard in hand with a hand on her hip in the backstage area. The pair jump apart at the sudden interruption, Ricky's sure he's not going to be able to look at Gina for the rest of the day (which proves to be troublesome for rehearsal).  "What is going on?" Ms. Jenn exhaustedly asks them when she gets closer to her leads that are suddenly very conscious of the space between them. 

"Nothing." They simultaneously respond. Gina purses her lips and maintains eye contact with a skeptic Ms.Jenn while Ricky's head snaps toward her face. 

"Ricky's just being a menace." Gina remarks in explanation. Ricky bites his lip and looks back at Ms.Jenn before he responds. "It's true I am."

Gina blinks. No snide remark or jab or insult back at her. No giving her any blame. He'd even said the words sincerely. Confusion at his actions stirs within her again but she doesn't spare him another glance or give him any indication of her true feelings. 

"Ricky stop being a menace." Ms. Jenn tiredly tells him while looking through her clipboard for the setlist.

"Noted" He clears his throat.

Gina spares him an untrusting doubtful look. But his eyes are all soft and focused on her in that way that made butterflies erupt in her stomach months ago. Then (somewhat maddeningly) his eyes move from her figure toward his own script and it seems he's on his best behavior for the rest of rehearsal. 

(what the fuck?)

Gina doesn't hate airports. She couldn't. After practically being raised on a tarmac from her travels, it ironically proved to be like a second home to her. The hum and buzz of the plane engines, the wheels of the snack cart passing through narrow aisles, and the familiar popping of her small ears were all quirks that formed her different upbringing. 

But today as she raced toward her gate in an attempt to get ahead of the thanksgiving and holiday rush that evaded no airports in the Salt Lake area, Gina finds herself cursing every airline ever in the history of airlines. 

Her thick snowboots pass through the carpeted ground with her pale pink carry-on rolling closely behind her. Gina huffs when she looks up at the teleprompter now telling her the flight to D.C is now at another gate. One closer to the other side of the airport, where she'd so conveniently come from.

you've gotta be fucking kidding me, Gina stares that the screen and wonders which universal force she pissed off today before she takes a breath, takes the handle of her pink bag, and rolls it in the right direction.

The curly-haired beauty reconsiders the whole universe plotting against her thing when she's greeted by a familiar sight zeroed in on his phone nearly walking right passed her.  "Jack." she whispers his name in near disbelief while he continues to walk forward.

"Jack!" Gina says again, this time louder and his head snaps up, and looks around for the familiar voice until he spots her paces behind him.

"Well if it isn't Genevieve Porter." Jack says with an incredulous smile, shaking his head as he saunters toward her.

"And if it isn't Jack...I don't remember your last name." Gina retorts with a small laugh. 

"I don't think I told you." Jack mentions, his lips curled upward. 

"Oh." Gina realizes. "I think your right."

"I would know." Jack shrugs, "Besides I do that on purpose." Gina quirks a curious brow at his words. "It kind of adds to the whole hot and mysterious thing I have going on." He confidently states while Gina fights a laugh.

"Okay." She admits and her gaze inadvertently drifts back to the prompter reminding her of the time that seems to be escaping her. 

Jack observes this as he looks from the promoter back to her, "Want some company?" He decidedly says, "I'm not leaving for a few hours."

Gina bites her lip at the thought. She wouldn't want to impose on his flight or his plans beforehand but she'd really come to appreciate his company the last time. "As long as you don't mind walking back from the other side of the airport," she warns.

"There's very little I won't do for a pretty girl." Jack says with a charming smile. 

She'd be lying if she said she didn't go a little weak in the knees at the moment but outwardly Gina remains unamused, "Is that a yes?" she responds with her head tilted up.

Jack's grin widens, "I forgot how funny you were."

"and I forgot how overly confident you are." Gina notes. The pair fall right back into their rapport as they fall into step walking side by side to what is hopefully the right gate. 

"It's kind of insane were meeting like this. At an airport. Again." Jack regards. 

"Stranger things have happened."

Jack sends a small smile her way, "Well, Gina I have to let you know that I am a big believer in fate."

"Is that so?" For some reason, it doesn't surprise her in the slightest. 

"Yep, so this little chance reunion can only mean one thing." Jack nods in certainty. 

"Which is?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Gina's brow arches in curiosity and amusement, "I'm meant to be your first kiss." Jack plainly says. "If you'll have me." Gina bites back a grin and the surprised laugh builds within her. 

(His confidence was something that needed to be studied in schools)

"While that seems like a pretty sound theory," Gina says "I kinda have this thing going with this guy?" The words are intended to come out as a statement but instead make their way through like some type of question. This is the first thing Jack notices, the second thing is what he asks about. 

"Heartbreaker?" He asks with a raised brow. 

"Wouldn't give him the satisfaction of calling him that, but no." Gina rolls her eyes and Jack clears his throat at her tone, "We'll unpack that biting response later." He jokes and Gina goes silent suddenly looking ahead past the numbers and letters counting down. The curly-haired beauty tries to put aside Ricky's weird behavior in rehearsals with her as of late that came to her mind for some reason. "Um...hoodie guy?" Jack cautiously asks. 

"Yeah actually." Gina replies. "We haven't really talked it out yet but it's kinda official...I guess." Her statement takes on an unsure questioning tone.

"You don't really sound too sure about that." This time he calls it out and her pace slows when she looks at the time on her phone and realizes she'd had a bit more time than she thought. 

"Thank you captain obvious." Gina quips and Jack blinks at the words. 

"You've gotten a lot more sarcastic and catty since I last saw you."

"Sorry it's just," Gina shakes her head, "It should be clear by now right?"

"I don't know...sometimes these kinda things take their time you know?"

"It seems like we've gone forever without talking about what we are." Gina sighs.

Jack observes her frustration, a beat passes between them. The bustle and chaos of the airport, the squeaking sneakers running, children crying, the smells of different foods, and the sounds of suitcases rolling wrap around her for a moment. "Love unspoken can be the loudest of all." Jack finally says, turning away from her to a familiar number in sight just a few gates away.

"Okay, Jack Hemingway." Gina jokes, poking him with her elbow "Since when did you get so wise?"

"You're just now noticing this?" Jack quips with a smile "Maybe it would've dawned on you sooner if you'd actually responded to my texts after we met." Gina frowns at the reminder, he automatically pokes her back with his own elbow to show it was all in good fun but the guilt still remains.

"I'm sorry about that." Gina apologizes, "Force of habit from-"

"Moving everywhere, I gathered that." Jack didn't need to hear her say the words, he already knew because that's how he'd been living his life to some extent too. But it was nice to hear them all the same. 

"That shouldn't be an excuse though." Gina firmly says with a resolute nod "I'm getting better at this friendship stuff now."

"That's good to hear." Jack genuinely smiles at that and their synchronized movement comes to a stop when she looks up to find her gate number. It didn't feel as good as she thought it would when she finally got there. 

"This is my stop, thanks for the advice." Gina tells him.

Jack sends her one last charming smile that she just knows will break a few hearts if it hasn't already, "I'll see you around Gina."

"Bye Jack."

With his retreating figure escaping view the juniors smile dissipates more and more after finding the hope she hadn't known existed within her when she saw Jack was dashed when he left. The clarity that she once found after meeting him was nowhere to be found now. Now when she was at a loss for action for the first time.

EJ had come so swiftly to pick her up from the airport last time, all signs pointed to him. Although she held back in fear of being wrong again, at that moment hope and curiosity came to her. Now, she stands at her gate alone and more confused than ever.

When she's on the plane all she can find herself thinking about are his words, love unspoken can be the loudest of all.

The words bounce back and forth in her brain until she can't stand the confusion and frustration that comes full force. She drowns it out with the broadway playlist Ashlyn had made her instead. 

Thanksgiving in the Porter household looked relatively similar every year. Gina and her mom would cook enough to feed an entire village for a dinner that would only consist of the two of them. Jamie would text, or facetime if they were lucky, that he wouldn't be able to make it that year. Gina would awkwardly smile into the phone (or camera) and tell him it was all good. Then her mom would affectionately touch her chin (which would prompt another winning smile out of Gina) and they'd proceed to watch a movie on the couch and pass out. 

Right now they were at that part of the evening where she and her mom would catch up and gossip while cooking. Usually, it would be a pass time in the holiday that Gina actually looked forward to but now for some reason, she dreads it. The curly-haired beauty thinks that maybe its because she can hear the guilt in her mother's tone whenever she talks to her now as if she's assumed her daughter just gained another person in her life that's left her behind. But Gina had made the choice to stay, her mother had nothing to be sorry for. 

Of course, that wasn't the only point of contention between them either. 

There was also the fact that her disapproval for whatever it was she had going on with EJ was becoming more and more apparent with every clipped conversation about him over the phone. Gina holds her breath when her mom mentions school as she adds butter to the mashed potatoes in the bowl. 

"So how's East High?" Terri Porter eagerly asks as she cuts carrots carefully.  "I want all the tea like you kids say."

Gina cringes into her response, "Okay mom." She says fighting a fond smile. "Honestly there really isn't that much going on I mean," she shrugs, "Red and Ash are going pretty strong, I'm pretty sure Ms.Jenn and Mr.Mazzara have a thing going and Carlos and Seb hit a few bumps last semester but things are okay now."

Terri nods and sets the peeler in the sink. "How's EJ?" Her mother hesitantly asks. Gina resists the urge to roll her eyes because she can practically feel the disapproval in her tone.

"He's doing good. You know, adjusting." Gina tells her, pointedly looking down toward the potatoes fully ignoring her mothers gaze.

"College is a big transition." Terri adds, now tossing the salad with the wooden utensils. 

Gina clears her throat and takes a breath while looking at the finished mashed product before her. "I've known a lot of transitions and adjustments in my life, He's doing fine." She curtly responds as she sets the bowl on the table. 

Terri nods slowly and sets the salad on the table opposite her, "I'm impressed with how well you've adjusted to East high." she easily changes the subject. "I wasn't surprised you wanted to stay. You seemed so happy honey," Her mother says with a smile that she can't help but give back. "like you really fit somewhere." she softly notes. 

Gina's smile turns sad when she remembers it wasn't all she had thought it was going to be at first. "Yeah well, it wasn't all smooth sailing." Terri looks up from the tray of mac and cheese she had just set down, "But I don't regret it." she brightly adds. 

Her mother's eyebrows furrow until her expression fixates on guilt; Gina already comes to her defense. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for opening night, honey." Her mother apologizes.

Gina shrugs it off. "It's okay, Jamie actually made it, which was really nice."

"I know our traditions have looked a little different since you stayed at East High but-"

"We gotta keep pushing," Gina cuts through her guilt-ridden words, "I know mom."

"Traditions are just that for a reason though." Terri apologetically responds all the same, drawing closer to her daughter on the other end of the table. "I'm sorry I forgot about Valentine's Day too," her mom says with a small shake of her head while Gina's brows furrow at the statement.

Um what

"Thankfully that sweet boy that you talked about last fall was able to deliver some chocolates for you in the nick of time." Her mom easily says as she rubs her arms affectionately.

Gina practically freezes under her mother touch. What?! She swallows trying to calm herself from the implications of the words. Her mother couldn't have been talking about the first boy that popped into her mind despite the awkwardness that was post valentines day. "EJ?" The junior cautiously asks with bated breath, she looks into her mother's eyes imploringly. 

"No! I know EJ." Her mom exclaims, already moving toward the kitchen to plate the string beans. "It was Ricky." She says offhandedly from the granite countertop as if it didn't change the trajectory of her daughter's life.

What

the

fuck?

"What?" Gina asks utterly confused, suddenly unable to move from her position by the table. 

Ms. Porter huffs, "I can't believe that boy still hasn't told you." she shakes her head and looks down toward the plate she just set in quiet contemplation for a minute. 

Gina blinks, trying to process what her mother just told her. Her curly hair moves while she shakes her head, the words just don't feel real. "But what-" 

"I guess he wanted you to know they were from me." Ms.Porter adds and Gina swallows at the sinking feeling that just settled in her stomach, "That's pretty sweet." Her mom admits with a smile directed at her.

Gina meets her gaze incredulously appalled, "No, mom that's not sweet that's psychological warfare!" She exclaims and resists the urge to fully start pacing in the dining room. Ricky had fully told her he had no idea what she was talking about when she brought up the chocolates being delivered to the Caswell house and now she was learning he was the sole person responsible for it. That he had somehow reached out to her mom and got her to co-sign this little collaboration to keep with their tradition, "What the f-"

"Oh, not in my house!" Terri raises her finger before Gina could let the curse out. 

"Sorry, mom." She automatically responds sheepishly, wrapping her arms protectively around her figure. Terri studies her daughter's distressed profile. 

"It was a very sweet thing to do, honey." She sits at the head of the table while Gina fidgets with the top of the brown chair in front of her. "He clearly cares for you, what's the issue?"

The issue? Gina resists the urge to huff at the question. Where should she even start? He is self-absorbed, stubborn, snarky, childish and an absolute pain in her ass during rehearsals. Especially as of late, now that he is just so...nice to her or whatever it was he was doing because even now, he's still somewhat keeping her at a distance like he was giving her some kind of space. 

The issue was he was scrambling her mind with every little thing he did whether it annoyed her or confused her. It was maddening.

The curly-haired junior suddenly stops rattling her fingers on the wood, she maintains eye contact with the baked chicken in the middle of the table, "The issue is he-" She feels like her whole body is shaking in irritation and all the other overwhelming feelings. Gina scrambles her mind for the words, the precise feeling the curly-haired boy inflicted upon her. 

"He is so irritating!" Gina finally exclaims, "That's the issue." she finally sits next to the chair by her mother and opts to fill her plate to the brim to distract herself from. her scattering thoughts. The endless questions that flowed in her mind that she needed to keep to herself because lord knows what ideas her mom would get in her head about her and Ricky.

Terri pauses with the glass of wine she poured for herself while her brows furrow curiously, "Now wait a minute, I thought you two were friends."

"We were." Gina clears her throat and reminds herself of how things are. Of the reality of the situation, Ricky lied to her about the chocolates and allowed her to feel embarrassed for even thinking he could've done such a thing. Among that actions, he also thought the worst of her so there was nothing there. "Not anymore." she coldly says, taking the first bite of her food. 

Terri sets her glass down and poses to eat but not before fixing her daughter another look. "I'm sorry to hear that." Gina doesn't meet her gaze and focuses on her greens. "Do you want to talk about it?" Her mom carefully proses.

Gina meets her eyes finally and exhales, "Not really." Terri nods and a beat of silence follows the moment. All that was heard throughout the residence was the faint sound of snow hitting the window, the sound of silverware touching fine china, and the faint murmur of the icebox in the fridge automatically resetting. 

"I'll tell you one thing then we can put all this boy nonsense to rest for tonight." Her mom says, ultimately breaking the silence.

Gina closes her eyes and places her fork down on her plate, "Mom-"

"I think he just wanted you to feel loved, Genevieve." Terri softly says and Gina stills in her seat, her lips slightly parted letting out a small breath. "That's it." Her mom nods after she says it and then its over. The conversation shifts like she assured her yet her mind stays there. With her mother's words on a loop.

Gina can't help but feel like she'd heard it before. 

Later on that night, after the customary phone call from Jamie and the pumpkin pie that nearly sent her right to sleep while 'Jaws' played in the background, she realizes why what her mother told her seemed so familiar. 

Jack's sandy brown blonde hair and charming smile peak into her mind. Love unspoken can be the loudest of all, she remembers. The words blare into her mind before she drifts off into a deep sleep. The thought that comes after arrives when she realizes what it all means,

Fuck I'm in trouble

Chapter Text

"Well, honey that's-" Lynne Bowen awkwardly fiddles with her hands while seated on the brown plush couch of her partner's home looking for the words. She narrows her eyes and purses her lips while Ricky somewhat anxiously awaits her reply, his foot shuffles as if of his own accord. Like he was seconds away from pacing away from this entire conversation and letting the words run laps around his brain.

The words being the cursed eight letters he hadn't been able to say to Nini sophomore year yet now realized he'd been feeling for the curly-haired beauty that blazed a trail through the school (and his heart) and changed everything.

It seemed Thanksgiving break was the time he'd decided to let his mother know what he was getting up to these days. Particularly the entire situation with Gina which prompted him to tell her how they got close and all the Nini drama from the year before. Needless to say it was two hours of gasps, confused looks, and concerned eyes.

A tiny voice that oddly rang loudly cuts through the room, "A lot" Jaz puts it bluntly, finishing Lynne's sentence. Ricky and his mother, who'd nodded in agreement at Jaz's words, had sharply turned to look at the girl who'd seemingly made her entrance.

"You heard all of that?" Ricky squints at the girl and crosses his arms while she simply shrugs, walking further into the living room. "Yeah, I was in the kitchen the whole time"

"What exactly were you doing there?" Lynne squints in suspicion while Jaz swallows and shuffles her feet. "I thought we'd said no cookies before bed."

"To be fair, you said that." Lynne raises her brow and Jaz immediately backtracks. Ricky resists a smirk, the realization there's still one person in the world not completely fallen for her charms settles pleasantly.

"I was only there for water." Jaz replies with wide eyes, "Scouts honor."

"God help that Girl Scout troop." Ricky mummers simultaneously Lynne skeptically adds, "You were never a scout."

"Why are we talking about me? Icky's in love!" Jaz exclaims, Ricky hurriedly moves forward to shush her as if the girl in question was in the room herself. "That nicknames gonna stop being cute at some point right." Ricky doubtfully asks his mother. Lynne shrugs with a small smile on her lips as she draws Jaz closer to the couch.

"Man I thought I had problems." Jaz continues as if she hadn't heard the older boy and shakes her head.

(She seemed to do that a lot)

Lynne strokes her light brown hair when Jaz settles her small head on her lap."Yeah, honey it's a lot you've been dealing with." His mother confirms, Ricky bites his lip thinking of the endless drama he'd been through this past year. "and a lot you put her through." She carefully adds.

Ricky's regretful gaze bounces back and forth between the pair, "No wonder she's mad, you dummy." Jaz reiterates while Lynne's lip quirks downward.

"I don't know how she feels." Ricky admits in defeat, Jaz spares him another deadpan look while fluffing her pillow. "Well other than the fact that she hates me." He dryly adds.

"Ricky sweetie, she told you she liked you." His mother says. "You don't just say you wouldn't quit on someone to just anybody." Jaz nods at her words as the elder Bowen fondly caresses her brown tresses; it all didn't seem so complicated to the younger girl.

Ricky falls into the space next to his mother, "I don't know what to do now." He breathes out, now slumped on the couch. "Everything is a mess and it's all my fault." The senior shakes his head and snatches the pillow Jaz had been fiddling with to hug close to his chest.

Jaz lifts her head from Lynne's lap with disbelieving eyes, "It's not all your fault." Lynne presses ignoring the pout growing on the younger girl's face. "These things happen, miscommunications can be the worst." she says, focusing on Ricky's crestfallen expression. She tucks another strand of Jaz's caramel hair behind her ear and she relaxes back into her lap.

"I think I have just the thing." Lynne knowingly says as she gets up, making a beeline for the kitchen. Jaz grumbles into the couch, now that both her cushions were gone. Ricky maintains contact with the black flat screen ahead of them and the younger girls eyes soften. She finds that emotionally charged moments like these make her fiddle with her hands, a habit she'd seemingly picked up from the Bowen's entering her life.

"So you're really bummed out about this huh." Jaz lightly asks.

Ricky spares her a glance before turning back. "Yeah." She scoots a little closer and reaches for something in the pocket of her sweatpants.

"Will a cookie make you feel better?" Jaz whispers, holding a tissue-wrapped crumbled chocolate chip cookie in hand.

Ricky closes his eyes and feels the mirth bubble within him. The elder Bowen boy chuckles while Jaz propels herself forward to get him to be quiet, her eyes hurriedly move from the kitchen back to him; of course, she'd snuck cookies from the kitchen. "You're a little heathen." He says fondly shaking his head, grabbing the confection from her hand.

"Oh would you look at that." Jaz's eyes close and her face scrunches at the voice behind the couch. Ricky turns and smiles when he finds his mom shaking her head with a knowing look on her face, a fresh batch of warm cookies on a plate in hand. "What happened to scouts honor huh?" Lynne pokes the younger girl who innocently shrugs as she takes her seat between the kids.

Lynne gestures for Ricky to take one, bringing the plate further away from Jaz. "He gets cookies but not me?" She whines.

"He didn't lie to me." Lynne says with a raised brow. "and he's going through a tough time." she gently says, Jaz's pout softens but her arms remain crossed against her chest. Ricky feels a certain lightness in his chest as the night progresses with Jaz insisting on cookies and his mother not caving, even with her puppy dog eyes that seemingly only ever worked with Todd and his own father.

(and even him sometimes...God help him if Jaz ever knew that)

(she'd eventually caught on and only ever used her powers for good...scouts honor)

Gina feels herself freeze when Ashlyn lets her know the truth. The curly-haired beauty blinks and her friend's face contorts from confusion to something close to a realization. EJ didn't know. He didn't know what she meant.

Suddenly she's on her feet and already running. Running like she'd been her whole life. It was nothing new. The feeling of hope that grew with every passing minute and rushed step was the foreign territory but she kept going anyway. The bell rang above her head, she immediately spotted a dejected shadowy figure making his way further into the parking lot.

The rest of it passes like a blur. She waves her hand to call him over and yells out how he'd had it all wrong.

"Can I kiss you?" Gina feels herself slightly cringe when she says it but steels herself and lets the breath she'd been holding go when she sees a slow smile make its way to his face. EJ's grin was brilliant and her cheeks grew warm with his palm on her cheek as he got closer.

Then another sound cuts through the air like it had been coming from a speaker above them rather than the phone in her pocket.

Gina huffs and looks down at her phone embarrassed. EJ gives her a reassuring smile and takes a step back, clearing his throat while she turns to answer. her mother's photo pops up on screen, her brows furrow at the odd sensation that this wasn't supposed to happen.

She turns to see EJ awkwardly scratch the back of his neck and spare her a small polite smile when she takes the call. She offers one back and tries to shake the message blaring, wrong wrong wrong, in her mind away.

"Hey mom," she says turning to face the road, moving a couple of paces away from the senior.

"Hey sweetie" Her mom replies. "hope I didn't catch you at a bad time." Gina resists the urge to outright laugh at how she really did.

"I just wanted to know how the show went." Ms.Porter excitedly adds. "I'm sure you did nothing short of amazing."

"I know I did." Gina confidently responds. Although for some reason when she tries to recollect the memories of the night his minds falls to a blank and all that's really present to her brain is this moment. This conversation. The sensation that something was wrong pricked once again.

"I raised the best so I'm sure of it." Gina crosses her arms and resists a small smile.

"I just wanted to apologize to you for not being able to make it." Her mom says contritely.

Gina releases a sigh and shakes her head, already forming the words to ease her mother's guilt. None of it was her fault, and she was a big girl now she knew how this went. She knew how busy her mother was and how important her work is, even if it did sting a little when her mother wasn't in the audience every time she'd look right at the spot she knows her mother would choose. She was raised a theater kid of course Mrs. Porter knew the best seat in the house.

"I know I would've been so blown away by your performance, I would've given you flowers after the show just like I would with Jamie." Her mother's fond tone rings in her ears. "You remember that?" Oddly enough when she says it, Gina feels a familiarity with the mentioned memory but can't refer to it in her head.

"Gina anxiously bites her lip and shakes her head, "It's okay mom really you don't have-"

"I would've taken you to the best restaurant we could find in salt lake of all places," "the day after of course, I know how sacred cast parties are to you now."

"I've taken a liking to them" Gina begrudgingly admits with a smile.

"Oh, I know." She hears her mother's smile even through the phone. "I'm so glad you're so loved in salt lake honey."

Warmth travels from her stomach to her chest, "me too." Gina whispers.

"That reminds me," Terri rattles on, "I also would've thanked that boy in person, the one who reminded me to get those chocolates for you."

Gina's heart freezes along with her other limbs but she still feels somehow weirdly distant from her body at the moment, "What?" A nervous sensation spikes from her gut to her chest. She's suddenly very conscious of sound seeing as EJ still has not moved from his spot by his car. "What boy?" She inquires hoping her mom says the name of the boy she's looking at and not the other name that blares from somewhere within her.

"You know the boy who delivered them?" Terri says offhandedly, "The one you couldn't stop talking about in the fall if I recall correctly." Her mom's tone turns teasing and her stomach sinks at her words.

Gina swallows and turns away from EJ, keeping himself preoccupied with his phone. "Ricky did that?" Her mind reels.

"I figure he would've told you by now." Gina holds her breath at that answer while she hears her mom sigh over the static. "You keep paying attention to those signs, Gigi." Terri finally says.

"Gi?" She turns around and he's standing there. 

Ricky's in front of the doors to slices, a few paces away from her. "You okay?"

Gina blinks and feels a swarm of emotions pass through her, "I-"

"Gina" She hears EJ call behind her.

Then she's awake.

Nothing has changed.

Gina reminds herself of this again and again when she walks through the halls of East High and pass by Ricky's locker in the afternoon. She tries not to look at the unoccupied space but her eyes are practically pulled to the spot. 

For some reason, her mind fixates on how he almost never got here on time most days. 

It was only last fall when she'd realize he had a serious issue with showing up to places at the right time. If when she'd first seen him bursting through the auditorium doors at auditions (twice) had been any indication; he wasn't exactly the most prompt. She was somewhat grateful for that since she'd been significantly avoiding him for most of the day. It hadn't been too hard since he'd been in his senior classes and sat with Red for lunch.

It didn't mean she was completely immune to the feel of his stare on her back the whole time, even while seated on the other side of the cafeteria with Kourtney and Carlos. 

For most of the day her mind ping-ponged with the idea, the fear was more like it. The fear that he knew. That he knew she was now aware he actually did get her the chocolates. Like he could somehow guess from looking at her at rehearsals yesterday that her mom dropped that bomb on her over the break. 

Like it would even change anything, Gina tries to reassure herself. 

(It didn't)

Ricky just did a nice thing for her and did an even more thoughtful thing on top of that. Nothing romantic was in the cards for them. Especially now that she was dating EJ.

The junior bit her lip when she thought of that one moment during rehearsals when he'd held her hand and looked into her eyes in a reassuring way. The way the baker would with his wife. But how in his gaze she could feel something more, something questioning as if it were pulling something inside of her to respond. Before her lips could part and respond thankfully Ms.Jenn, called cut and spelled their praises.

The curly-haired beauty hugs her books to her chest a little tighter and quickens her pace to the gymnasium. Gina takes a breath before she enters the space. She did not have to deal with that right now. Boys would have to be the furthest thing from her mind when she was doing, cartwheels, backflips, and soaring mid-air.

"Hey, Gina." Cathy cheerily calls her over from the bleachers with a hurried wave when she passes through the double doors. Gina smiles when she sees her. This was exactly what she needed. A few hours to move and completely clear her mind of whatever unnecessary drama was happening in her life. 

"Hey, Cat."

"I was finally able to do a full split last night." Cathy admits, clutching her arm tightly in excitement. "I nearly pulled something trying to show Mads over face time." Gina brightly smiles back and squeezes her arm with supportive enthusiasm. Thoughts of a curly-haired skater and a certain college-bound jock leaves her mind as she gets in line for drills.

"You ever feel like your life is going a hundred different directions?" Gina smiles softly through rapid breaths. Cat had the tendency to get pensive when they got their fifteen-minute break after drills. It wasn't surprising considering she was a senior and according to her, carried her family singlehandedly on her back. It seemed everyday Cat had grappled with the idea of leaving and choosing a school for herself or staying for college to be around her family.

"As trademark new girl across many towns like everywhere, I can confidently say yes to that question."

"Oh right." Cat huffs out a breath while she hunches on her knees, stretching through the exhaustion. "You must feel like your life is going a hundred miles an hour all the time."

"Not really. Not since being here, I guess." Gina can't really pinpoint quite when this place became home to her. She figures maybe it was the first time she'd actually talked to Carlos about the HSM choreography without vying for the lead part or when she and Ashlyn had pretended to be YouTubers and made chocolate cake from scratch or When Ricky had nervously suggested doing a joint costume for Halloween together a few weeks after the homecoming dance. 

(Ricky, Gina, and Red went as Harry, Hermione, and Ron, respectively)

"This place doesn't make you want to fast forward through your life?" Cat asks skepically. 

"No." Gina shakes her head and takes a sip from her water bottle. "Can't say it does."

"Why?" Cat says in near disbelief. "You've been like everywhere?" Gina eyes her friend's exhusted frame, her head tilted in curiosity at her remark. It was easy to understand why, when she first came to East High she didn't really see it as more than a school in boring Salt Lake City too. 

"I guess," Gina purses her lips and clears her throat, "Not to sound corny but no place has really felt like home until I got here."

"Aw." Cat's eyes soften, "That's so sweet." 

"Yeah, yeah." Gina playfully rolls her eyes and Cat lets out another laugh.

"I guess it's all about the people around you." The shorter girl says contemplatively, "and the ones that stay."

"What?" Gina asks, her eyebrows scrunched inquisitively. The words made her stop stretching for a moment.

"The people that stick around." Cat clarifies, straightening up "They're what really make a home."

Gina nods at her unexpected insight and blinks when she hears the coach's whistle signal for a roundup. She smiles at Cat letting out a groan at the sound so she grabs her arm and tries not to fixate too hard on what her words made her think of. Or more accurately, who.

[Queenie Geenie]: k so I need to talk to you about somethn

[Queenie Geenie]: and I rlly need u not to freak out k?

(Gina paces back and forth in her room on the fluffy white carpet and not on the floor, decidely because of the off chance that Ashlyn might hear her downstairs. She thinks of the words she's anxious to type and even more hesitant to say out loud.)

[carlito]: I do not know how to get rid of a dead body

(Gina huffs a tired breath)

[Queenie Geenie]: carlos I'm being serious

[carlito]: so am I? I'm too pretty to go to jail

[Queenie Geenie]: i think I have to break up with ej

[Queenie Geenie]: PLS DONT FREAK OUT

(Gina bites her lip and clutches her phone tighter in anticipation. I can't believe I just told him that.)

[carlito]: HUH

(The junior's eyes widened, the cousins he was babysitting screaming about power rangers were the last of his concern.)

[Queenie Geenie]: OR TEL ANYONE

[Queenie Geenie]: pls

[carlito]: what is even happening right now

[carlito]: did you guys get into a fight

[carlito]: did you tell ash? is she caught in the middle?

(Gina bites her lip anxiously at that last text and glances at the door. Keeping this from her best friend was obviously not her preferred go to but considering the circumstances, this was the only option she really had.)

[Queenie Geenie]: NO TO ALL OF THOSE THINGS

[Queenie Geenie]: I just-

[Queenie Geenie]: i tried to convince myself that i'm not confused about things and that just made me feel like i was going insane so

[carlito]: what are you confused about?

[carlito]: that girl that he's been talking to has absolutely nothing on you.

[Queenie Geenie]: it s not about that los 

[carlito]: ...then what is it about? 

Nini never really considered herself the observant type. She was empathetic, compassionate, and communicative (when she wanted to be) but sometimes, her non-confrontational nature would distance herself from those qualities. When she couldn't deal with the problems in her life she'd lash out at the last second and wouldn't always be the first to apologize even when she should've. Those weeks of introspection and loneliness in YAC had made her realize a few things about herself and now, back at East High something felt different to the senior.

Over the course of the last couple of weeks, she'd noticed a few things within the drama club. With the two people taking center stage to be particular.

1. Gina definitely did theater professionally when she was younger

She always knew Gina was talented. In fact, she'd made it a point to show Nini just how talented she was at auditions last year. Of course, she'd seen Gina grow a lot as a person from last year but she didn't just mean in a personal way. Somehow over the course of the last few months, Gina had gotten impossibly better at dancing, singing, and acting. 

All while staying in this weird limbo state with Ricky. 

It seemed like there had been a shift in their dynamic from those first tense couple of days when rehearsal had started. Nini would be lying if she didn't feel the slightest bit guilty at the fact that her admission of what happened last year with the wonderstudies last year was definitely a catalyst to that. That guilt even caused her to reach out to Gina and apologize for not being a real friend to her at that moment. 

What really threw her for a loop was when Gina asked her why she did it, Nini found she didn't have an answer. All she knew now was what she saw and heard since coming back to East High.

Which is why the shorter brunette had been surprised she'd forgiven her and told her it was probably for the best. It was like she was saying Ricky knowing about the plan and cutting ties with him completely was the best thing to come from that whole night. She'd had trouble believing that when the bickering and heated looks continued for a few weeks. 

(you don't look at someone you're indifferent too with so much feeling)

Then it was like the heat was gone. 

Her eyebrows scrunch when she tries to think of a way to describe it. 

Ricky and Gina didn't argue or bicker so much during rehearsals anymore. It seemed like they'd focused on their own respective parts until it was time to come together. Nini suspects Carlos and Ms.Jenn's weird cover-up of where they had gone in rehearsals that one time they'd both been missing was probably responsible for it. Her suspicion is somewhat confirmed when she vaguely asks Carlos' where they had been and she notably sees him tense up before answering. 

After that rehearsal, things between them seemed...muted. 

Not indifferent or like the heat between them was completely gone but like there was still an underlying tension laying dormant that no one was going to address or come near within a ten-foot radius. 

Nini leans back on her hands while she sits in a criss-cross position on the ground with the rest of the theater kids observing the pair banter back and forth as the scene called for the baker and his wife to play. 

It wasn't in her place to comment on whatever was going on between the two of them and she hadn't. But it was so obvious and it seemed to be like she was the only one who noticed?

The senior turned to study Carlos' focused profile at the thought. He had to have seen it. Had to have noticed the way things weren't the same between them, especially after thanksgiving. There was also, the fact that he was the one that intervened when it seemed like their back and forth was actually affecting the play.

Leading her to her next observation,

2. Gina and Ricky weren't speaking to each other anymore.

This one doesn't seem like much of a surprise when she remembers the familiar position she was in last year.

Nearly in the exact same place with Ricky, only this time nobody was trying to win anybody back. And if Kourtney's assessment of the situation early on was any indication, Gina wouldn't let whatever feud/disagreement/indifference was going on between them get in the way of the musical. 

(and she was right)

Nini swallows at the sinking feeling she gets when she thinks of her best friend's words. 

It's not like she was jealous of Gina.

It would be very easy to be. Nini turns back to look at Ms.Jenn eagerly give Gina her notes when their scene was done. With this eager glimmer in her eye, like she'd recognized something special and wanted to hone in on whatever it was. Ms.Jenn looked at her that way a lot more when she was leading lady than she did now. 

It didn't bother her. Not really. 

What seemed to tick her off was the fact that she had no idea what was going on between them. Of course, it was none of her business and the situation wasn't new. Nini had seen last year when they had decidedly became a 'we' but now it seemed different. 

Like missing so much time at East High last semester made her miss out on something that would explain why she felt so out of place now. Nini's last observation feels personal and reminds her of that feeling.

3. Ricky stares at Gina...like alot. (Gina pretends she doesn't notice and sometimes stares back?)

(at times it looks unintentional like her gaze was bound to end up wherever he was)

Leading her to believe something had to have happened over thanksgiving break. 

Between the silent treatment other than the times they sang together and bantered on stage or the quiet looks Ricky sent Gina's way across the room, something shifted. 

Nini looks away from the pair still talking to Ms.Jenn and moves her leg which had just fallen asleep. She shakes away the fuzzy static feeling focused in one place and moves to get up directing her sights on her best friend. 

The shorter brunette thinks about why she's noticed so many things now, about why she's taken this passive observant role in the theater and seemingly, in her life. 

The main differences between last year and thing year pop up in her mind first. It's not because she's not the lead in some silly musical, she decides. Her music and her social media had made her reach new heights artistically. She wouldn't take it back for moment, not for the play.

Then she turns her head and thinks of the other difference. The brown-eyed boy laughing with Red most likely over something stupid. It would be easy to blame him. To fixate on whatever was happening with him and Gina, especially when even now his eyes still try to find the cheerleader smiling shyly while speaking on the phone. Even now when she sees the slight dejection in his eyes at the action because she knows he'd probably been on the receiving end of that smile once (and probably thought it was beautiful). She knows as well as he does EJ's on the other end of the line.

For some reason, the moment Natalie Bageley accidentally shuts the piano cover on Seb's left hand is the moment it hits her. After she rushes toward her blonde friend, speeding past an awkwardly uncharacteristically stuttering apologetic Natalie she offers him ice, which one of the dancers ends up getting. When Carlos grabs his other hand and Kourtney teases him it slowly sinks in.

She'd felt out of place because after missing a semester at East High it felt like the people she loved were moving forward without her. That's why she reacted that way at the bonfire. It somewhat stung that Ricky didn't even consider staying for her but for some reason what bothered her more was feeling out of place all of a sudden in her friends lives. 

"Hey, Neens you good?" Kourtney asks her. Seb cradles his hand closer to his chest and Carlos makes a move to kiss it. The blonde smiles bashfully before looking at her for her response. 

"Yeah, I'm good." Nini answers with a nod. 

(Everythings changed)

[knee knee <3]: what did you mean when you told me and los that things would get better at rehearsal 

[knee knee <3]: esp with gina leading

[kween kourt]: hi to you too 😭

[kween kourt]: when did i say that

[knee knee <3]: at rehearsals a couple weeks ago

[knee knee <3]: it sort of bugged me then but i didn't say anything 

[kween kourt]: rlly? what bothered you

[kween kourt]: why didn't you say anything

[knee knee <3]: i guess cause i didn't realize it bugged me till now?

[knee knee <3]: it's just at first i thought it was because i was jealous of gina

[kween kourt]: why were you jealous?

[knee knee <3]: i thought maybe it was bc of the musical or...

[knee knee <3]: ricky

[kween kourt]: oh brother nini...

[knee knee <3]: I KNOW I KNOW

[knee knee <3]: it wasn't either of those things tho

[knee knee <3]: it was because i realized i felt like i was getting left behind ever since i missed last semester here

[kween kourt]: really?

[knee knee <3]: yeah for some reason recently i've been feeling out of place here, like i skipped the chapter of a book and now i don't know whats going on or why and why i feel like this

[kween kourt]: oh wow nini i didn't know you felt this way at all 

[kween kourt]: you belong here. you always will.

[kween kourt]: east high is your home as much as it is anyone elses and no one can take that away from you.

[kween kourt]: you'll always have a place here bc we love you neens

[knee knee <3]: you always know what to say 

[knee knee <3]: i love you kourt ❤️     

Truth be told Ricky didn't want to go to the party being thrown by Natalie Bagley. Most, if not all, cast members counted themselves in on the fact that they'd earned it after working so hard these past few weeks on set. It was the whole reason Natalie was even throwing the party in th first place. However, Red has his ways of persuading Ricky to get out of his funks. Including but not limited to ripping the blankets he was covered in, shooting him with a water gun (if not available a spray bottle worked fine), and discussing in vivid detail how his grandfather's colonoscopy procedure went. 

That last one always got him up quickly, so much so he'd found his converse with minimal complaint (minimal for Ricky) and a hard stare in Red's smug direction. 

The curly-haired senior sighed as he looked out the window of his best friend's tiny orange car, trying not to be too much of a cliche. He couldn't help but think of the real reason he didn't want to go to the party. He turns the ring on his finger a few times when he thinks of how Gina looked at him when he stupidly smiled and waved at her on their first day back from break. 

At least up until before break he knew she didn't like him, knew where she stood but now she wouldn't even talk to him and he doesn't know why. The only time he'd get anything from her was during rehearsals, when she would pretend to be someone else. 

So we really are nothing now, Ricky feels a part of him sink at the thought.

It's all his fault. He said he didn't wanna be friends and now she's practically gone and it's his fault.

"We only have so much of senior year left." Red chimes in from the driver's seat and Ricky wonders if he'd missed part of the conversation. "We all gotta make the most of it dude." His best friend turns to give him a hopeful look. Ricky weakly smiles at him. 

The living room is bustling with rowdy theater kids and just a few other people probably from a couple other extracurriculars Natalie was in. He's pretty sure he sees a kid from the robotics club that he usually cheats off of in Mazzara's class when he doesn't study (which is a lot of the time). He exhales taking in the room, realizing there weren't as many people as he thought there'd be and the music isn't too loud. 

Ample amounts of chips, pretzels, and sodas were on the dining room table but most of his friends were situated in the living room. He blinks when he sees a few beers and hard ciders around so he makes his way to the kitchen to get his own. 

Ricky didn't know Natalie had it in her. His face contorts to an impressed expression when he tastes the beer after swiping one from a cooler. He then turns to the living room to find Seb and Nini amid a lively conversation about...ponies? if he'd heard correctly. Ash and Red were making eyes at each other on the couch chair (gross). Kourtney was talking to the dancers about hopes for a spring or summer fashion internship and Natalie was playing hostess to a group of nerds, showing them around the house. 

Ricky takes a sip of his drink to resist the urge to ask where a certain curly-haired dancer is. And their choreographer, now that he thinks of it. 

"And this as you saw entering the residence, is my living room," Natalie says to half of the robotics club. She'd only realized recently only the girls from the club had seen her house and were the people she was closer to. "That's the grand tour, Casa de la Bagley." she clasps her hands in front of the mainly silent group of boys, awkwardly standing in the middle of the foyer. 

"Make yourselves at home." Natalie says, "But not too at home." she adds with a small glare and the group of confused boys scurry off into the kitchen. Ricky watches the scene amused as he eats from a bag of potato chips situated on his lap.

"Okay people." Natalie turns and clasps her hands again, garnering attention from the living room. She'd seemed to have adopted some confidence and dramatics from Carlos over the last year. "Let's play a game."

"Oh, what kind of game?" Nini asks enthusiastically. 

"It's just like the game we played on New Years, only better because new years resolutions are terrible."

"So basically a most likely to game?" Kourtney asks.

"Yep." Natalie confirms, "We don't have that great of a track record with truth or dare so." she offhandedly adds, taking an empty bowl from the dining room table and some pens. 

Nini's eyes widen at the statement and Seb scratches the back of his neck. Ricky lets out an awkward cough as he puts the chips back. When Natalie enters the space again it seems she realizes what she said so she clears her throat, "Anyway write a fact about yourself that most of us probably won't know, fold it, and put it in the bowl." she commands and Ricky has to remind himself he's not on set right now. She's scarily good at that.

His friend's papers start pilling in, its then he just decides to write whatever first comes to his mind on the blank note.

After the bowl makes its way around the room Ash gingerly takes the now filled bowl and asks, "So who's going first?"

"So you're breaking up with him because Ricky sent you those chocolates?" Carlos asks in disbelief from the foot of the bathtub of Natalie Bagley's bathroom. 

Of all places to explain her current dilemma to Carlos this one was not at the top of her list, or anywhere near it. It's not like the juniors had the time, what with school, sat prep, the musical, choreography, and Gina's cheer schedule it seemed almost impossible. But once Carlos got that text from Gina he knew they had to talk. So as soon as she and Ashlyn got here he'd whisked her away into the kitchen which then prompted her to speedily get them to the bathroom when she realized what it was they were gonna talk about. From then she'd explained the confusing feelings and the different expectations she'd had walking into this relationship. Somehow it led to her talking about thanksgiving and then ultimately the chocolate situation on valentines day.

"What? No!" Gina exclaims in a whisper. "Keep your voice down." she anxiously adds, her tone hushed and pleading.

"Gina literally everyone is downstairs." Carlos meets her in the middle and matches her tone anyways.

"Natalie has freakish hearing, I swear that girl is everywhere." Gina says with wide eyes. 

"What's going on Gi?" Carlos calmly asks. Gina sighs and a million thoughts swarm her mind.

"I don't know." She tucks a stray curl behind her ear.

"Why do you wanna break up with EJ?"

"He didn't stay." Carlos slowly nods at her answer, starting to understand. "I want a boyfriend who stays or whose at least is on the same path as I am."

"Do you think you're on different paths?"

"I know we are." Gina sadly recounts. "I mean I listen to the stuff he talks about with college and how happy he is in California and it's like-" She pauses and shakes her head at the situation she'd found herself in, "I'm a year and a half away from all of that and then there's the distance and that just makes it so much harder."

"Long-distance relationships can be really difficult." Carlos adds empathetically "I mean look at Ri-" The junior starts but decides the best of it when he sees her arched brow at the mention. "Nevermind." He clears his throat.

"I just never pictured my first relationship being this way." Gina says.

"No one ever pictures long distance for themselves especially not the first."

Comfortable silence looms over the pair for a moment before it all really hits her. "I just feel so stupid for thinking it would be different." Gina hiccups through a few tears.

"Hey, no." Carlos immediately takes her in his arms and she cries into his sweater with her hand over her face. "You are absolutely not stupid for thinking that." He firmly reassures her.

"You took a chance on love and came out on top, the person you liked, liked you back. That doesn't happen often."

"Tell me about it." Gina agrees through a sniffle, she moves out of his grasp to gather herself with a calming breath. Carlos squints at her answer while rubbing her back comfortingly, he studies her profile as she wipes her tears away. 

(He's grateful she wore waterproof mascara, He left his at Seb's.)

"Can we get out of here?" Gina asks in a soft voice. Carlos uses the tub to help himself up.

"A trashy Netflix reality show, take out from your favorite five-star restaurant, and some gelato at my house will be just the thing." I love having rich friends, Gina gives him a teary smile at the thought and takes his hand to guide her up from the ground.

Once they reach the banister of the stairs she hears the round of laughter from the bottom, coming from the living room. Kourtney's is the clearest one that she can usually make out in a group setting. She realized that when they all went out to eat at Denny's the first opening night for the HSM production. She hadn't wanted to leave that night and to. To some extent, she didn't want to leave now either. But when she finally gets to that last step and makes direct contact with a set of familiar doe brown eyes, she kind of wants to take off running. Yet again, even unintentionally, he's turning her inside out. Making her question everything again. 

"Hey, there you guys are. Made it just in time." Ashlyn eagerly says. "It's Ricky's turn to pick from the bowl."

Gina breaks eye contact and Ricky fidgets with the half-empty hard cider bottle in his hand. "Actually, I think I'm gonna head home." she says casting a regrettable look around the room. Ricky's eyes snap back up to her and Carlos at the words.

"What?" Natalie immediately asks from the coffee table.

"Wait really?" Ashlyn's concern immidately kicks in and Gina's already shaking her head with assurances. "You feeling okay roomie?"

"Yeah, why leave so early?" Kourtney asks with apprehension. Nini, whose hand had been in hers, had nodded in earnest with a concerned look of her own.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Gina tells everyone with a reassuring smile. "I just realized I have a bunch of homework and studying to do for Mazarra's insane exam on Tuesday." Ashlyn's lip purses at her response but she doesn't say anything, just squeezes Red's hand in hers.

(She thanks the universe her best friend knows not to call her bluff right now)

Gina swallows when she notices then she sneaks over a glance at the oddly most quiet person in the room. Still fidgeting with the paper on the glass bottle in his hand and his eyes concentrating hard on the small letters only now his leg was bouncing a bit.

"Yeah and I'm gonna take her home so." Carlos chimes in by the door.

"Are you coming back, babe?" Seb lightly asks looking over the couch, Gina and Carlos share a look. "I think I'm a little tired tonight actually." He says in an apologetic tone. "I might call it a night." At this news, another round of groans and 'don't go's' work through the room while they politely shake their heads and tell their friends they're okay.

"You sure you're okay Gina?" Nini asks.

"Yeah." Gina gives her a small smile. "Thanks, Neens." Nini smiles back, then turns to look at Ricky still pointedly not making eye contact with the curly-haired beauty. Her brown eyes bounce back and forth between the two of them and Red catches her looking. 

Red shrugs at the silent question Nini asks him because even though she's more secure in her place in the drama club now she still wants to know what the hell is going on.

"Okay well, we're gonna go." Carlos finally announces. The pair turn to the archway of the living room to the front door until a voice that had been mute till now breaks through the seemingly never-ending noise of the festivities.

"I miss you, Gi." Ricky wavers as he shoots up and says it (his balance isn't the best given the few beers and ciders he's had). Declares, was probably the more appropriate term given all eyes turned to fixate on either Ricky or Gina in the newly claimed silence. He'd stood in his words for a second, and cleared his throat before he could continue in spite of her wide-eyed gaze and Carlos' jaw being on the ground. 

"Gina, I stayed in the musical because of you last semester." Ricky admits and at this, another round of wide-eyed looks and gasps flittered around the room. Nini's lips part as she looks up at Kourt wearing a similar expression of disbelief. Well, this just got interesting.

"and now we're not even friends." His voice colors in hurt as he says it so much so she actually flinches. Red casts his best friend a sympathetic look. "You were one of my best friends before you left and I really miss you." The house is mainly quiet other than a few crunches of chips from on looks in the kitchen and a few whispers asking about who was talking but none of it mattered because Gina just stood there in awe and with each passing moment she was silent Ricky felt like he was gonna be sick.

Not wanting to tempt fate into throwing up all over Natalie's carpet and giving her yet another reason to be mad at him after the whole beast mask thing he hurriedly makes his way out of the door and onto the porch. He avoids Gina's eyes heavily focused on his frame and tries to ignore the familiar scent of her perfume as he leaves, the scent which he is convinced can brighten anyone's day.  

He accidentally meets her eyes again and feels everything which then prompts him to gulp and close the door with a bit more force than he intended. "It's never a dull moment is it." Natalie breaks the silence, shaking her head with a temporarily stupefied gaze.

"Hell no." Kourtney answers still processing the skater boy's words.

It takes about two seconds when he's outside to completely berate himself over what an absolute idiot move that was. As if he hasn't done enough embarrassing himself in front of this theater group he had to go ahead and add this to the list only this time he was dumb enough to factor in Gina and probably ruin her night. 

The senior grabs the porch railing and takes a soothing breath letting the frosty winter air bring color to his cheeks. 

"Hey." His head spikes up at her voice, melodic and unsure.

"Hey." Ricky says, awkwardly turning to face Gina standing at the front door. "Listen, I'm sorry about-"

"Did you mean what you said in there?" She knows he's not drunk not entirely. Maybe enough to get a little tipsy or just enough to give him some courage to stand up and say what he said either way she has to know if he meant it.

A cold gust of wind passes through and she's glad she was next to the coat rack on her way out. "Every word." Ricky readily says it like it took absolutely no thought at all. Gina crosses her arms at another breeze flowing in, prompting him to shiver.

The curly-haired beauty casts a glance at her blue snow boats then back up at him considering this remark, The look evokes a spell of word vomit to tumble from his lips, "I know you hate me and I deserve that."

Gina's eyes soften, "I don't hate you." she finally admits after a beat.

Ricky's expression turns to astonishment, "You don't?"

Gina rolls her eyes with no once of malice within them. "You're annoying, self absorbed, and mildly insecure but I-" She swallows and chances a step closer to him. "I've never hated you, Ricky." She shakes her head and a stray curl falls on her face."It would be a lot easier if I did."

Ricky has to clench his hand in his pocket to keep himself from tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry about everything, about all of it."

"Like what?" Her stare becomes curious.

His heart beats a little faster and his palms sweat a little even in the cold air when he thinks of what he's about to say. "About never really knowing what you were trying to tell me that night." They both know which night he's referring to. The night everything changed.

"Ricky-" Gina starts.

"Gina, ask me anything and I'll do it." Ricky implores.

"I don't wanna talk about opening night anymore." Gina bites her lip. "It's over it happened, you clearly didn't feel the same way." Ricky shuts his eyes for a moment.

"I thought you were ready to leave me." Ricky sadly admits. "To call it quits, because you said otherwise you'd give us a chance." He explained and realization dawned on her. "Then you stayed."

"And I quit anyway." Gina whispers. "But that wasn't what I was trying to tell you."

"What we're you trying to tell me then?" This time Ricky's the one taking the step closer and alarm bells silently blare in her mind.

"It's too late now." Gina says walking passed him, holding the white porch railing. He can't ask her to say it again, not now.

"Right." Ricky swallows and nods in respect of her decision. He studies her profile for a moment. He see's the tinge of pink on her nose, how it tints the caramel color of her cheeks, and her eyes bouncing from all the different houses around them.

"I know what I didn't get the chance to say." The words slip away from him again while he looks at her.

"What was it?" She asks against her better judgment.

Ricky's in love with her, he knows this. More than that he knows he can't tell her now because she's with someone else. He can't ruin things for her. 

Gina feels herself squirm under his gaze until his eyes focus on the yellow house across with a terrible paint job. She thinks about how she'd been avoiding his left and right all week simply because of the fact she didn't know how to be around him right now. She doesn't really know how to be around him now knowing what she does about the chocolates from her mom on thanksgiving. Knowing that he cared for her that whole time. He was so hurt over the wonderstudies thing and thinking everything between them wasn't real she got caught up in her own pain she didn't even get to explain.

Gina doesn't know that she doesn't have to. Ricky knows who she is, he's always known. He didn't know he was running then but he knows now and he's tired of standing still, or tired of chasing the past or the wrong version of the right person, he wants to move forward. He wants her.

"I couldn't ask you to stay." He finally says.

Her eyes flash up to meet his, "Why?" She immediately responds.

"Are you serious?" Ricky huffs and the condensation greets the air. "You are meant for so much more than a place like this, meant for more than me" Her eyes soften while his remain sad. "It's like you didn't hear a word in said the night of the bonfire." Gina says, unable to look away.

"What do you mean?" 

"Who else would I come back for? I mean I love Carlos and Ash and I stayed at East High because of them but I-" she stutters.

You're the reason she came back

Red was right. Red was actually right about this. "I'm the reason you came back?"

Gina blinks a mile a minute, refusing to look at him. She tucks a stray curl behind her ear, "Do you really need me to-"

Everything she's ever said clicks in his mind then.

I wouldn't quit on us if I wasn't moving away

we were never friends Ricky

I've never met anyone so consciously inconsiderate of my feelings in my entire life

That one stings a bit. He couldn't have imagined how much it hurt her. How much he hurt her.

(He's such a fucking idiot)

Ricky's determined for this to be the last thing he asks of her so he swallows and tells her, "Say it."

Gina freezes at the words and he stands his ground, his brown eyes with flecks of honey looking for the answer as if he could find them in her eyes. She couldn't do this again, not after everything that happened the first time. Besides, it was too late. "No" She firmly says. "It's all in the past." Gina takes a step back."It has to be."

"Why?" Ricky asks, he has to know.

"Because things are different now."

"Are they?"

"Yes, they are." Gina purses her lips after she said it, for some reason feeling a sense of resolve weakening under his gaze.

"Why'd you come back to East High opening night?" It'll be the last thing he asks of her.

"Ricky..." She whispers his name so low she wasn't sure it even passed through her lips. He chances a step closer, "Please, Gi." His eyebrows scrunch and his expression turns entreating. She could trust him now, she had to know that. He tucks the stray curl behind her ear ever so gently.

"I came back because of you, Ricky." Her back touches the white railing while he stands a foot away from her in order to hear her whisper. The warmth of his breath trailed across her face in the cold air. If she moved just a bit further her forehead would touch his with just the barest effort.

Her lips part at their proximity and his eyes follow the movement along with his hand. Ricky's thumb moves along her chin up and brushes ever so lightly on her bottom lip. Her brown eyes widen then flutter close when he closes the gap and his hands are on her face.

Ricky feels her stiffen when his lips first met hers and it's nearly enough to make him leap off of her until she kisses him back and he feels the lightest brush of her fingers on his waist. His head spins and his heart pounds in his ears at the sensation, the electricity coursing through him from his fingertips to her face. 

For a second, for one blissful second, when his lips touch hers it is everything and more. The fireworks, the butterflies, even the weak knees. She'd let herself get caught up in the slow movements and delicate touch of his lips. It is a chorus of right, right, right that she didn't quite get the first time.

And then she remembers EJ. Her very real boyfriend.

And it's like the biggest pile of snow falls on her head extinguishing the heat. (she wouldn't be surprised if snow actually did fall on them). Gina hurriedly moves out of his grasp and toward the small steps beside them, touching her lips with a shaken expression. "Oh my god." She mutters guiltily. 

It's then that Ricky wakes up from whatever spell he'd been under and panic sets in his eyes. Gina looks back up at him and then back to the house before shaking her head and striding toward the door.  Carlos needed to take her home now.

Ricky takes a step forward which makes her immediately take one back, "I'm so sorr-" 

"I gotta go." Gina hurridly says unable to meet his eyes. "Can you please just tell Carlos I'm waiting for him."

Ricky's face falls, he licks his lips and he can still taste her mango lip balm. At the sight her eyes move from his face to the neighbor's ugly paint job again. "Yeah sure." he slowly replies.

As he makes his way inside the senior shakes his head at himself, at just how royally he manages to fuck up.

Chapter Text

YOU'RE AN IDIOT

YOU ARE THE BIGGEST IDIOT THAT EVER LIVED

Richard Bowen had just kissed Genevieve Marie Porter.

He just kissed Gina. Gina Porter who had a boyfriend that very obviously wasn't him.

The curly-haired senior hopes the blast of warm air and lovely chattering of his friends in the background when he closes the door wake him up with every second that passes. He bites his lip and tries not to recall the familiar sensation from moments ago. When it happens anyway he stills at the door, not only because his mind fixates on the feeling of her hand brushing on his waist, but because Carlos he gives him a curious look as he frantically moves past him to the door. The action flares Ricky's nerves up, he gets a reprieve when the choreographer finally closes the door.

Well at least I don't have to tell him Gina's waiting.

The sounds of his friends going through what seems like a very competitive round of Pictionary muffles when he walks to the kitchen. His eyes instinctively move toward Red, laughing next to Kourtney while Seb tried to hilariously gesture what seemed to be a horse to Ashlyn. Ricky couldn't bother his best friend with another crisis, not now. Red had been such a good friend to him and he was having fun.

The curly haired skater sighs. This is bad this is so bad. He hesitates when a thought dawns on him, this is emergency level bad.

[utah theater loser]: hey man

[utah theater loser]: I could really use a friend rn

Ricky anxiously paces in Natalie Badgely's kitchen of all places. He'd met Jet over the summer when he went to go visit his mom and Jaz. He'd lived next door with his sister Maddox. They bonded over complex relationships with their siblings, Ricky having just gained a sister really appreciated it even though Jet could be a little rough around the edges. The senior had come to realize people with duck stuffed animals in their possession weren't that intimidating and saw somewhat of a younger version of himself in Jet.

[little ricky]: are you crying about gina again?

[utah theater loser]: I did something stupid

[little ricky]: yeah and the sky is blue

[utah theater loser]: like really BAD

Ricky feels tears prickling his eyes and he hurriedly tries to blink away while his phone buzzes in his hand. Jets contact photo (a secret blurry image of his stuffed duck) flares on the screen in his hand. Ricky breathes out in relief.

"What did you do now?" an exasperated voice picks up.

Ricky fights a sad smile, "Hey man." He greets defeated.

"Woah, Ricky you okay?" Jet immediately asks his tone transforming to something more sympathetic.

"Yeah um," He sniffles, making his way further into the kitchen space away from his friends having fun in the living room. "No."

"Hey, dude just deep breaths okay." Jet slowly responds, "Do you wanna talk about what happened?"

Ricky clutches the phone tighter, "I ruined it for her." His voice nearly cracks with heavy emotion.

"Ruined wha-"

"I ruined everything. She deserves the perfect relationship and I keep putting myself in the fucking way," Ricky says in contempt. "And I know EJ isn't perfect but she is and everything she does is, so of course I-"

"Ricky slow down." Jet interjects.

Ricky shakes his head, guiltily, "I fucked it up."

"What happened?"

The curly-haired boy paused and looked around the empty kitchen. "I kissed her" he explains in a low tone of voice.

"You kissed Gina?!" Jet says incredulously.

"Yeah." Ricky mutters in disbelief as if the life-altering action still hadn't quite sunk in yet.

"Wow." Jet replies, "Not gonna lie, I didn't think this was how it was gonna go, I sorta thought you would be down bad forever."

"Dude?" Ricky adds with a confused frown.

"Sorry. How'd it happen?"

Ricky prepares to explain before he hears an uncharacteristically loud exclaim from Seb that Ashlyn was cheating and she couldn't hum hints. It's then the overwhelmed boy makes his great escape to the backyard. "I was just trying to be honest with her, you know as a friend, and talk things out and then-"

"And then she kissed you?"

"I kissed her." Ricky corrects with a hand over his face. "Because I'm an idiot."

"Right." Jet nods, it sounded about right.

"You're not good at this pep talk thing."

Jet sighs, "She has a boyfriend man."

"I know." the senior recalls with a frustrated tone. "I can't believe I fucked this up for her."

"Wait, wait" Jet pauses, "did she kiss you back?"

"Well," Ricky holds his breath until he can't, "Yeah."

"Dude"

"It could've just been an instinct thing you know." He scoffs with doubt at his answer. "It could just be because we're playing husband and wife in the musical. Like it tripped her up for something. You're not a theater person you wouldn't get it."

Jet winces at his response, "I understand cheating. Emotional and otherwise."

"It was an accident-"

"Right, you just slipped on the icy ground and fell on her lips and she did the same."

"Jet-"

"But hey who am I to judge and stand in the way of true love." Jet genuinely adds, "I know that sounds snarky but I kinda mean it."

Ricky pauses the pacing he'd been doing on the snow-covered grass at his friend's words, true love. For some time that idea seemed completely unattainable to him, like some kind of dream or fantasy that he thought only the safety of the past would bring. But everything is so different now, he knows life could be better as the world turned and another day passed.

"I don't know what to do now." He bites his lip in trepidation, "I feel so guilty, this isn't me. I don't want this to be."

"I know it isn't." Jet reassures him. "You just made a mistake. Right?"

Ricky hesitates yet again, "I kissed her even though she has a boyfriend." He lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "I know that's wrong, that's not me."

"But...." Jet feels something missing in his friend's words even a hundred miles away.

"It wasn't a mistake." Ricky says it and he's more sure of it than most things in his life.

"...Dude you're screwed."

"Tell me about it." Ricky's shoulders fall as he kicks the white powder beneath his feet. He maneuvers the conversation well enough away from Gina that Jet actually lets him know about him the progress he's making with his sister. They'd sang at a karaoke night together with their parents, something they hadn't done in ages. It puts a small smile on Ricky's face. He's glad he's not the only one making strides with family. If only his love life wasn't a complete mess.

When he comes back to the living room greeted with exclamations of love and warmth at his return, it slightly balms his guilt and disappointment. He tells them he has to go home soon after and the exclamations become choruses of pleas to stay.

"A leading man needs his rest."

Kourtney raises a skeptical brow, "The show is a week away." She says.

"My point still stands"  Ricky shrugs. Red gives him a look as his hand makes contact with the front door knob. I'm okay, the curly haired boy nods at him, hopefully in a reassuring manner.

Ricky had been hoping once he'd gotten outside he'd feel a little less overwhelmed by the entire night but that's not the case. He sort of feels her everywhere, all around the still chilly Salt Lake City air. He's not sure he's prepared for a season, summer, spring, fall, or another winter she isn't in his orbit.

The senior swallows a harsh truth that sinks in when he finally gets to his car. There was a possibility that things could probably go back to how they used to be. With her hating him, or pretending to do so, and ignoring his existence until they were on stage.

His fingers fidget on the steering wheel. He knows better now. He knows change could also be good, it could bring him good things. The best things that life could offer. Maybe someway somehow they could maybe be friends.

(even if they were never particularly good at that)

(He'd take her any way he could have her)

Ricky pulls out of Natalie Badgley’s street in his best friend's car when another thought uncomfortably settles, a wrong doesn't make a right.

What the fuck did I just do???

The cold December air did most of the waking her up from what just occurred on Natalie Badgley's Porch.

Gina tries to focus on small things. Like the vapor visible in the air by a breath from her parted lips and the thud of her every step on the wooden fixture beneath her along with the sound of laughter from her friends inside. But when she makes the mistake of biting her lip in an attempt to gain her composure and she grips the white wooden rail again then it comes tumbling back into her mind.

So the curly-haired junior shakes her head of thoughts of his soft lips and the feeling of her heart pounding in her ears. The soft thrum presently gets a little louder and her cheeks redden before she pulls her phone out.

[queenie geenie]: WE GOTTA GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE

The door opens again and she sort of freezes on the spot.

"Hey..?" Carlos warily asks, closing Natalie Badgely's front door. Gina finally turns around, breathing out a sigh of relief at his voice.

"What's with the text?" He asks, curiously crossing his arms as he walks toward her.

"Um-" Gina's hand touches her forehead in frustration, she really doesn't know where to begin. Or what to even say, everything just happened so fast.

"And why did Ricky just make a beeline right toward me only for him to turn straight to the kitchen instead?" Carlos further inquires with a raised brow. "Is he okay?" He asks concerned, taking a step closer to his friend who wasn't looking too good herself.

"I don't know." Gina says, huffing out an anxious breath.

Carlos' expression turns sympathetic, "I'm assuming your conversation didn't go well"

Remnants of just moments go find their way back to her mind at his words. The feeling of Ricky's hand on her cheek, the warmth flowing through her despite the biting cold air. The slow and gentle slant of his lips on hers and his eyelashes brushing against her face. Gina swallows, shakes her head of the ever-present memory again, and moves further away from the porch where it happened.

"Carlos I really need to get out of here," Gina pleads, stepping onto the driveway. Carlos inspects her expression for a moment with worry, "You got it." He speedily recovers, getting his keys from his pocket and trekking through the snow down the street to his BMW.

Gina finds it a bit easier to breathe when theyre out of the proverbial woods (no show pun intended) and on the next street. Carlos' eyes move from the dashboard to study her quickly.

"What happened back there?"

"I really need to talk to Ashlyn." Gina realizes.

His brow furrows at her answer, "Gi-"

"I can't believe I did that." The curly haired beauty fiddles with her hands on her lap guiltily. 

"Did what?" Carlos' confusion merges with impatience, his tone reflecting it.

"I can't believe I kissed him back." Gina mutters in near disbelief. So many years of being one step ahead and calculating ever next move after being subject to change a million times over it takes one boy from Utah of all places to trip her up. This she just didn't see coming.

"You what?!" Carlos dramatically exclaims, the passioned expression comes out with such a fervor his driving is influenced by it. The vehicle swerves temporarily on the clear icy road beneath them. Gina lets out a frightened yelp as Carlos screams while he frantically gains control again.

"Carlos!" She breathlessly chastises with wide eyes.

"Sorry the roads are slippery!" Carlos defends with a weak shrug, still taken by the news. "and you can't just blurt out this information to a newly licensed person."

"Oh my god." Gina shakes her head.

"That's my line!" Carlos harps, "You and Ricky kissed?!"

"Yes okay. For like two seconds that was it."

The gentle slope, the blush on her cheek, the warmth, it all feels so close to her. She taps her foot in anticipation.

"...and you kissed him back." Carlos warily finishes and she stills.

"Oh my God." The implication of what she did comes back like a tidal wave. "I know I'm the worst. I'm terrible. I'm a cheater!" Her eyes are tightly closed with her fists.

"Don't say that. You literally just told me you've been wanting to break up with EJ." Carlos immediately comforts her with a hand on her shoulder before it's back on the wheel.

"That doesn't give me the right to jump someone else's bones before I even do it!" Gina guiltily adds.

"Fair point but the fact of the matter is this isn't all on you. I mean Ricky's the one who kissed you and he knows you have a boyfriend." Carlos purses his lips.

"Why would he even do that?"

"Gi, we all know the answer to that question."

He was right. She knew the answer to that question. She'd known since her mother dropped the Valentine's Day truth bomb on thanksgiving. It seemed like maybe she was avoiding him because on some level she knew something like this was gonna happen. Just not this.

"I have to tell Ashlyn now." Gina says.

"Right this second?" Carlos asks.

"The more I prolong this the worst it's going to be." Gina knows how to be direct. How important being direct in these situations are. "I should really be talking to EJ but..."

"What?" Carlos softly adds.

Gina rubs her temples, "It feels like the file cabinets in my brain are on fire, there's too much going on."

"Well, at least you have a few hours before Ashlyn comes back home from the party right?"

"Right." She exhales.

"We can use that time to do all the things I talked about before, four star restaurant, ice cream, trashy TV, everything." Carlos assures her.

"I thought you said five star?"

"Oh, honey in Salt lake? Please."

"I'm not sure I even deserve a four-star meal right now." The curly haired beauty pouts.

"Okay, this is what we're absolutely not going to do." Carlos admonishes quickly. "Do you feel like you made a mistake?"

"Well of c-" Gina stammers with the truth in a way that feels completely unfamiliar to her. "I-I didn't-" Carlos casts her a quick look before his eyes on back on the pavement.

"I wasn't thinking when he kissed me." Gina settles on that wording for some reason.

"That wasn't what I asked." Gina swallows at his reply, feeling a silent truth unravel within her. "Do you think kissing Ricky was a mistake?"

"I betrayed EJ." She quietly says.

"You know you did something wrong, and you're going to own up to it. That's what a good person does." Carlos finally says after a bout of elapsed silence in the heated car. "You are a good person, Gina."

She certainly didn't feel that way right now. The feeling settles when she ends up on the couch of the Caswell residence after dinner and a quick gelato run with Carlos. Ashlyn comes back to the home with bright smiles and bright disposition that take up the living room. Gina second guesses telling her when she's so happy, recounting the details of something sweet Big Red did for her tonight. The overwhelming guilt wouldn't go away if she didn't. She just had to tell her best friend.

Gina's smile is demure, she clears her throat when the talking stops. "Can I talk to you upstairs for a second?"

"Sure." Ashlyn replies with a lazy smile.

Gina feels a pang of anxiety and guilt with every step the takes on the Caswell staircase. Ashlyn followed behind her passing the family photos, her hand gracing the white banister.

"You feeling okay?" The red-haired girl asks once they're situated in the comfort of her pastel-colored room. She sits cross-legged on the mahogany comforter.

Gina still stands on the rustic carpet and braces for impact, "Ricky kissed me"

"What?" Shock and confusion register in Ashley's expression. "How could he-"

"I kissed him back." She hurriedly adds, her bottom lip hides behind her teeth as she avoids her best friends eyes.

Silence envelopes the room for s few beats, "You kissed him?" She finally says. "Gina-"

"I'm really sorry I know you probably hate me for doing this to your family-" Gina rattles on until Ashlyn's hand stops her.

"Woah stop." The red-haired girl interjects firmly, "Gina, I don't know how many times I'm gonna have to tell you, you're my family too." The grip on her hand tightens and Gina softens at the gesture, "Your my sister and EJ's my cousin."

Both girls grimace at the choice of words, "I really do hate that wording" Gina admits.

"Me too" Ashlyn quickly nods in understanding. "What happened, Gi?" She finally asks after another lapse of silence coats the room.

It spills out of her in no time at all. Kind of like when she'd told Ashlyn everything that happened opening night. Only now it was month's worth of feelings, glances, misunderstandings, and an ill-timed kiss. Gina flushes in remembrance.

"I'm pretty sure you know I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to." Ashlyn gently says when she's done.

"I know." Gina replies with a sigh. Ashlyn sports an uncharacteristically unreadable expression that prompts further explanation from Gina. "I realized I want to be with someone who can stay and I don't think EJ can give me that. I mean he's in a completely different stage in his life than me."

"How long have you been feeling like this?"

"...a while" Gina bites her lip, "I'm just so frustrated with myself because it's not like me to keep this kind of thing to myself."

"This is your first relationship, you wanted to try. Don't punish yourself for that." Ashlyn comforts as the curly haired junior finally plops down next to her on the bed.

"I just didn't want to put you in a weird position because he's your family."

"You're my family too." Ashlyn reiterates and Gina's lip quirks upward.

"I'm so sorry about all of this, Ash." She shakes her head

"Hey, I'm your best friend no matter what." The red-haired girl pulls her in for a hug and she feels lighter.

Utah State was a desolate campus in the winter. There was a mix of colorful and white lights littered all around different spots on the campus in anticipation of the holidays fast approaching. EJ had driven down to pick her up determined to show her around campus, describing how beautiful it was to her and greeting all his friends she'd met over the semester. Cassie, the girl next door to EJ, had dyed her hair pink Gina noticed. She waves to them from across the coffee shop they passed by while her other hand is held by a shorter girl with a pixie cut that she doesn't recognize.

The weight of Gina's words followed her around every location. It was with a meek smile she cast him at their newly renovated performing arts center and their stifled conversation in the dining hall. It made the air around them feel different, Gina realized she wasn't the only person holding something back when they finally got back to his dorm. 

EJ's roommate had already left for the holidays so the silence that moved with the pair settled in his room. EJ lets out a harsh breath as he sits on his bed, the memory foam mattress topper melds into his figure. Gina opens her mouth to say something (she wasn't sure what those words were gonna be) but he beats her to it, "This is over isn't it?" 

Now it's her letting out a strangled breath. She tries to make sense of all the little moments throughout the fall that led up to this moment and explain them to him. How it had been over for a while now.

"I'm really sorry," Gina whispers standing across from him, fiddling with her freshly manicured hands. "about all of it."

"Me too." EJ says solemnly. 

He adds his own summary of thoughts, feelings, and realizations the autumn air had brought him. Cassie was, among many catalysts, responsible for his coming to terms with his sexuality. Gina listens to him and hesitantly offers a hand when he talks about Micah, the boy down the hall that frustrated him to no end. "Nothing happened." EJ quickly says.

"But you want it to?" Gina gently asks.

"I think so."

Gina slowly nods, "I get it." 

"Clearly." He sourly adds, earning him a discernable look from Gina. "Okay, I'm sorry. Ricky's still a little bit of a sore spot."

"You're not even into me that way though."

"But I do love you. So this still hurts and I think you know that." Gina crosses her arms because he is right, she does know that. It's still a betrayal to the boy she considered her first boyfriend.   "Also I still think he sucks," EJ mutters while she shakes her head and plops down next to him.

He gives her an earnest look, "and he doesn't deserve you."

Gina looks away from him and swallows, steeling herself from the nerves that bubbled in her stomach at the mention of Ricky. "We're not together, EJ. Nothing has happened since that kiss." 

"But you want it to." The college freshman doesn't pose it as a question. It should've been something everyone saw coming from the beginning but the theater gang had been too preoccupied with the wrong love story brewing between the wrong leads. The girl who moved all her life and the boy who stayed, EJ shakes his head at the thought, there was no other way this was gonna end.

Gina promptly gets up and decides she wants to see the tree they'd set up in the quad. He smiles softly at the arm she offers.

The drive back home that night is calm. The air is clear and there wasn't a loose thread in their minds for either to pick at. Gina isn't very familiar with closure but she's sure it feels something like this. The wondering and endless thoughts of how things could go aren't fueling her anxiety or guilt over what happened. Instead, it's just Gina and her first ex-boyfriend driving her back to the place that's become home to her.

"Hey Gi?"

"Yeah?"

His blue eyes look littered with anxiety as he looks from the dark icy road back to her, "You won't tell anyone about...Micah will you?"

Gina softens, "No, I won't I promise."

EJ exhales, "Thank you."

(They'll be alright)

[gina ballerina]: hey

(Ricky's heart beats out of his chest, and the blue sheets of his bed ruffle beneath him with his harsh movement)

[gina ballerina]: are you free to meet up before school tomorrow?

[icky bowen]: hey of course yeah sure

[gina ballerina]: cool see you then

[icky bowen]: cool 👍

[icky bowen]: i dont know why i sent the thumbs up ignore that

[icky bowen]: can you send me a thumbs up so i feel less weird

[gina ballerina]: you are so

[icky bowen]: pls gi

[gina ballerina]: see you tomorrow icky

[icky bowen]: WAIT GINA SEND THE THUMBS UP

[icky bowen]: GINA

Two weeks until Opening Night

Ricky thinks out of this whole ordeal what she misses the most is mornings with Gina. The curly-haired beauty would walk through the double doors and his heart would awaken at the sound of her sly smile (he could always hear it before he'd shut the locker door and be greeted by it himself). She'd tease him about what he was wearing or ask him if he'd done his homework the night before. So much so that he'd actually started paying more attention to it when he did it. That he didn't just put on pajama bottoms when he went to school but wore jeans and combed his hair. 

(He really should've realized his feelings sooner)

Last fall it seemed like they had all the time in the world before the second bell rang and he'd count down the minutes until he got to see her smile again when he would walk her to her next class. 

Now he anxiously waits by her locker and hopes that she doesn't shudder when she sees him. He holds his breath when he sees her walk through the doors and spot him almost immediately.

"Hi" Ricky shyly says as she approaches, his hand poses a tentative wave that he instantly regrets. 

"Hello" Gina resists a smile at the action and greets him gently.  She purses her lips and he awkwardly moves his feet, "So um-"

"I just want to-" Ricky interjects at the same time she does.

He gets that wide-eyed look that makes her want to grab his face with both hands and never let go. Gina shakes her head and smiles, "You can go first" she flitters her eyes over to the chemistry room a few doors down.

Ricky feels like he could throw up from nerves. So he takes a breath before he loses his nerve, "I understand if you never want to talk to me again."

The curly-haired beauty's face falls, "Ricky-"

"I can drop out of the musical if that's what you need me to do. It's totally up to you." He chances a step closer to her, his expression was genuine. Gina's brow furrows in response as she shakes her head. "No, you shouldn't-"

"And I understand if you never want to talk to me again." It was extremely hard for him to say but he knew he could do it if that was what she wanted. If she just wanted to forget about the kiss, forget about all the ways he hurt her, forget all the ways he screwed everything up for her, forget about him.

He couldn't blame her. If she wanted him to leave her alone so she could be with EJ Caswell of all people, he could do it. All she had to do was say the word.

"I-"

"Just let me say this." Ricky looks her in the eye, he resists the overwhelming urge to take her hand in his and try to be normal. "What I did was out of line and I'm so sorry." He shakes his head regretfully and now it's her face painted in bewilderment. "I respect you and whatever or whoever makes you happy and I don't want to get in the way of that anymore ever again." Gina swallows at the seriousness of his tone. "I'm really sorry, Gi." He's also sorry that their first kiss happened that way but he's not sure he should say that. So he finally shuts up.

Gina doesn't really know what to say to that. Ricky takes a step back, noting their proximity. He clears his throat when he notices the worried frown she gets in between her brows and the pout on her lip, "What were you gonna say?"

This wakes her up from the stupor she'd found herself in at his words. "EJ and I broke up." She finally says and his eyes are as wide as saucers.

"And it wasn't because of you." Gina says before he can interject with a thousand more apologies. "I mean I can't say it wasn't not a factor." She cringes slightly and his lips purse. "But it was because I wasn't happy and I realized it wasn't what I wanted."

Ricky unexpectedly feels a tinge of pride swells in his chest. He imagined it wasn't easy for her to let go of something she worked for, it was the type of person she was. She went after what she wanted and didn't let anything get in her way. "You deserve to go after what you want." He replies with a small smile.

The air starts to not feel so heavy around them. Still charged in the way it always is between them like one touch was a match set on a downpour of gasoline but instead like a nonexposed electric wire subdued. Her hands settle on the back pocket of her jeans and she tilts her head upward in a teasing motion. "I always thought so."

Ricky eyes her thoughtfully after a comfortable beat of silence.

“Please don’t quit the show, Ricky.” Gina softly says, his earnest transformation of his expression was almost too much to take in all at once. “We need you”

“Then I’ll stay.”

”Good.” Gina bites her lip in trepidation and his eyes never leave her figure.

"You doing okay? After the whole break up."

"Yeah. I'm okay. I feel freer like anything is possible now." Gina shrugs and looks down when she makes a realization. "Which is sort of sad in a way because I guess it means that it's probably been a long time coming."

Ricky hums, "I think I know a little bit about that."

"Feeling pathetic after a breakup? I figured you wrote the book on that." Gina easily teases. Ricky lets out a faux-shocked gasp.

"Um, ouch?"

"You set that one up. I had to." Gina smirks as she takes a step closer. "Kinda like your mom did when she named you, Richard."

"They don't allow weapons in schools, Gi. These words, they hurt." Ricky jokingly says in rebuttal. "They wound."

"It's not my fault." Gina leans against her locker with her back to it while his crossed arms mirrored the action. "I thought you'd developed a thick skin as someone who was continuously bullied by a seven-year-old this summer."

He leans a little closer, "Can you hear my heart breaking?" 

The smile she'd been trying to suppress widens as she shoves his chest, "Can you be any more dramatic?"

"Yeah I can actually and you love it." He says through a breathy laugh.

Gina's eyes playfully narrow, "You're lucky you can keep up with me on stage, Bowen."

Doesn't he know it.

The bell rings and Ricky only now starts to register the increasing presence of the student population that littered through the hall at some point during their exchange. There's a soft smile planted on her face that doesn't leave even as she opens her locker door.

"I'll see you at rehearsals, husband." Her tone is lighthearted and playful, and the tilt of her head awakens something in him along with the last word. His brain short circuits because it makes him think of Gina as a vision in white holding flowers walking toward him down an aisle. 

(a very insane thing to think about)

"I-I'll see you, later." Ricky stutters in response, and her smile visibly widens as she walks away.

Nini likes her role as little red. It's allowed her to sink back into her dynamic with her friends in a way she doesn't think would've been possible before.

Seb lets her in on the farm gossip. Red gives her a small lesson on the ins and outs of tech life when they're on break. Even Ash and her have gotten into the habit of writing songs together after rehearsals sometimes when they aren't completely exhausted. Carlos still is a stickler with the choreography and Ms. Jenn does look like she could have an aneurysm at any given moment as opening night approaches but this was all normal. It was something she missed in her days at YAC.

Things seem to be going well for the theater group. Well as good as they can with opening night coming next week.

Even Ricky and Gina had looked like they mended things. 

The pair have surprisingly been able to joke around during rehearsals it sort of feels like they're re-entering that space they were in before. The one that her presence was a minor disruptor too. The awkward flirting period from last fall, the just friends banter.

She sees Ricky poke a newly focused Gina, who swats his hand away with a smile she tries to tamper. Rehearsals go on pretty routinely from that point. 

Until Gina hurt her ankle. 

It had been one of their more rigorous rehearsals admittedly with the musical so soon, Ms.Jenn was breezing through everything while she could. Carlos looks visibly satisfied when the cast finishes the group number, it's as if the theater kids release a collective breath in relief.

The curly-haired dancer grimaced when she sat down and grabbed her water bottle. 

"You okay, Gi?" Ricky notes her hand on her right ankle and the pained expression on her face. 

"I think I'm fine." Gina replies, her tone hesitant and somewhat clipped, drawing the attention of her best friend and the choreographer.

"Are you sure? You did say it hurt a bit after cheer practice yesterday." Ashlyn interjects from a safe distance. 

"You shouldn't be dancing on it if it's bothering you." Carlos is in full theater mom mode with his hands on his hips and a disapproving expression.  

Gina tries to shrug off the attention, but Ricky's lingering concerned gaze remains. The urge to grab her hand and push away any sign of pain from her face with the stroke of his hand rises by the minute. Ricky's hand on the bench beneath his palm tightens slightly, "This has happened before, It's nothing I swear."

"It's not nothing." Ricky says undoubtedly.

"I'll be fine. I should probably just stay off it for a bit."

"I could carry you, to get you around, if you want?" Gina laughs thinking it was a joke, Ricky blinks at her and she realizes it isn't. "Oh, you're serious."

"Of course, he isn't." Carlos mutters with a hopeless expression while walking back to Ms.Jenn. Ashlyn hides a sly smile at the scene.

The senior stands before her and place his hand on his chin thoughtfully, "Which do you prefer, bridal or piggyback?" He says with lighthearted sincerity. Ashlyn stifles a giggle while Gina grows wary of his expression.

"Ricky you can't seriously want to carry me for the rest-"

Gina's squeals come out loud and abruptly while Ricky carries her bridal style. She quickly moves her arms to wrap around his shoulders tightly so she wouldn't fall. The drama club was due to leave at the moment. Free period would be over soon. The pair quickly directs their attention away from the door, "Nothing to see here folks just avoiding further injury"

Gina hurriedly puts a hand over his mouth with her eyes wide, "Ricky shut up!" She quietly exclaims. She doesn't think her claim stands firm though, too many laughs fall through her words. Her eyes spelling amusement while her mouth tries to hide a contented grin.

Ms. Jenn's expression contorts to one of confusion and Carlos is quick to wave a hand and answer, "Don't ask."

Ricky puts her down but he doesn't let go while the drama club files out of the room casting their obvious gazes and hushed whispers, "I thought bridal would be fitting considering our parts but I feel like your more of a piggyback kinda girl."

"You might be right about that." Gina replies teasingly.

"You wanna find out?" Ricky gives her a curious look, his eyebrow raised in question like an extended hand. It's one that she takes with a smile.

That's how Ricky gets acquainted with the feeling of Gina's giggles on his back when he gives her a piggyback ride to her History class when the first bell rings. Her arms are wrapped tightly around his neck again and he can smell the scent of her peach jasmine perfume up close, it soothes him. 

Mr. Mazzara casts the pair a disapproving look with his arms crossed outside his classroom, "Mr. Bowen, Ms. Porter, you know the rules no PDA in the halls." 

The curly-haired beauty clambers off of him while Ricky's lips part in surprise, "Oh this isn't-" Gina starts.

"What? W-we aren't a- I mean we," Ricky stutters with his cheeks suddenly flush. He scrambles for the words while Ms. Jenn walks past them, inadvertently making weirdly prolonged eye contact with the chemistry teacher.

"Benjamin." Ms. Jenn nods in acknowledgment as she walks further down the hall.

"Jennifer." He mutters in return. Ricky and Gina exchange curious glances before turning their gazes to the floor.

"Get to class." Mr. Mazzara clears his throat before he moves to shut his door. Both teenagers fall into fits of laughter when he does, they face each other incredulously with a sort of awe or shock.

"What the fuck was that?" Gina finally asks with wide eyes.

Ricky quickly noted the new proximity between them after Mazarra found his way back into his classroom. There was really no reason for him to stand this close to her but he doesn't have a problem with it. "I have no idea." He shakes his head in an effort to clear his head.

"Do you think there's...something going on there?"

Ricky tilts his head at the thought. "Well, my dad hasn't mentioned Ms.Jenn in a while so maybe that would make sense?" He shrugs with a muddled expression.

"That's really-"

"Weird." The senior finishes with a grimace as she nods in agreement.

"You wanna talk about anything else right now?" Gina says.

"Sure, how's the ankle?" Ricky's brown eyes cloud in concern again, she very actively has to try not to melt on the spot at the overflowing concern. 

"Well considering you haven't let me take a step for nearly the entire day I'd say it's almost healed." Gina tilts her head up in that way she does that makes him want to kiss her and her cute little chin but her words bring him back.

"Really?" Ricky asks hopefully.

Gina snorts, "No!" She resists a laugh when his face falls and the fond eye roll that comes with it, "I need some more time to rest. but you've given it plenty today so thank you, Ricky, really." she says, her lip quirked upward in gratitude. 

"Anything to help the beautiful leading lady." Ricky says with a playful bow of his head and she chortles.  "I mean we gotta beat this opening night curse somehow." Gina responds with a shrug.

"Right we are 0 for 2 so far for smooth successful opening nights." Ricky playfully admits.

"Third times the charm?"

"I think so."

Silence rested between the two for a moment, the shuffling of students getting to their next class, lockers slamming and loud chatter suddenly getting quieter by the moment. The curly-haired dancer sort of wished she was holding her books that she could clutch to her chest. Something to provide her with some kind of reprieve from the inescapable thing that lay between them. The thing that pulled them together when they locked eyes for a certain amount of time. Gina's breath catches in her throat because she'd just seen that look he gave her, right before he kissed her, return. 

She clears her throat, dousing proverbial water over the moment, in spite of the heat of his gaze still remaining. "Well thanks for getting me to class, you should go I don't want you to be late."

"I'll see you after class." Ricky softly replies.

The second bell rings and he has never been happier to be late for Econ.

[utah theater loser]: gi scrunched her nose again today

[little ricky]: i need you to get up

[utah theater loser]: it was cause i made her laugh really hard she snorted at lunch 

[little ricky]: like DESPERATELY

[utah theater loser]: she's the light of my life?

[utah theater loser]: what do u expect

[little ricky]: for you to get up

[little ricky]: and tell her how you feel for my sake

[little ricky]: do you know how many times u send me shit like this in a day?

[utah theater loser]: excuse me for being in love

[utah theater loser]: you kno i can't do that she just broke up with egay

[little ricky]: isn't his name ej?

[utah theater loser]: i said what i said

[little ricky]: ??? okay well you should still tell her

[little ricky]: yall are cool now right

[utah theater loser]: I don't want to jinx the show

[utah theater loser]: or anything in any way before opening night

[little ricky]: that sounds like an excuse 🤨

[utah theater loser]: you sound like an excuse

[little ricky]: ?? whatever

[little ricky]: your mom sounds like an excuse

[utah theater loser]: lynne bowen deserves better than this smh

Chapter Text

"So now that we've watched all of them which one is your favorite?"

Gina sits on her soft blue comforter waiting for his answer. The winter air was brash and bountiful, little specs of snow floated in the air beyond her window. She snuggles further into her blanket, raising it to her upper arms as she holds her phone to her ear.

"It has to be the last one." Ricky answers, running a stray hand through his curls. The end credits of the High School Musical 3 movie played on his laptop. He moved his leg after feeling a familiar static sensation on his left, an onset of his foot falling asleep. The pair had decided to watch the movie after he let it slip in rehearsal he hadn't watched the second and third movies entirely. After a few dramatic (earned) gasps from theater kids around them who had overheard and being subject of Gina's incredulous stare he cracked and said he'd watch it. 

A few pesky messages from his mom, Jaz, and Jet came telling him to invite her over to watch, he finally suggested after rehearsals one day they should watch the movies together. 

Gina smiles in approval, "I knew I could trust you."

Ricky sits up on his bedpost as he tilts his head in thought, "Although two has some pretty good songs and it happened in the summer, I mean who doesn't love summer?" the curly-haired skater can feel her distaste through the phone, it encourages his lip to quirk upwards at the thought. Though he can't see her he can already tell her nose is scrunched and her eyes are currently narrowed in doubt.

"Ricky be serious. The production value of three is unmatched, Troy and Gabriella's chemistry was at an all-time high, and the performances were insane." She finishes her tirade confidently and smoothes over the creases of her comforter. A light fond feeling roars within him at her tone, "That's true." Ricky breathes out the words, "Remind me why I couldn't come over to watch these with you in real time?"

The curly-haired ballerina kinda freezes at his words.  She's not great at improv, she does much better with well-made plans (or make-as-you-go half-baked ones in times of duress). She does scripts and strong direction. Nothing about Ricky and her has ever felt like it was a part of her plan and the thought is as overwhelming as it is thrilling. 

"Well-" Gina pauses, "I don't know if is trying to keep up with cheer, putting in time at the dance studio, and rehearsals but I feel a little under the weather and I don't want to risk getting you sick so close to the show." She gets the sudden urge to get up from her comfortable position in bed and pace on her pastel pink carpet.

It's not exactly a lie. All of her extracurricular activities were taking a bit of a toll on her physically and she kind of couldn't wait for the semester to come to a close as it soon would when opening weekend came. But if she were being honest with herself the main reason why she wasn't sure she should invite Ricky over to watch the movie was because she couldn't stop thinking about their kiss at Natalie's party.  She couldn't forget the way his thumb brushed over her chin and passed over her lip, about how perfectly their lips slotted together, or the electric current that passed over her body as if transferred from his.

Gina awkwardly coughs and tugs a stray curl from her ponytail while she walks around her bed, she tries to shake the memory away. 

They were friends again. Sometimes it felt like they were friends in the way they were friends during her first semester at East High. With all the dancing around each other, texting each other six heart emojis and casually flirting every day. But that seemed like dangerous territory to enter with the show on the line. Gina had begun to have some serious thoughts on whether the timing would ever be right for them.

"Right." Ricky replies. He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. For some reason, he's not sure he believes her. They were joking around in rehearsals nearly every day now but lately, it seemed like she'd been trying to keep him at some sort of distance. A surge of anxiety washes over him when he thinks of the way she would laugh at his dumb jokes at rehearsal and then pointedly look away or take a step away from him. The feeling manifests in his actions as he gets up from his bed and starts pacing by his window. "Are you feeling better now though? Because I can stop by Target or something tomorrow and get you some stuff, like if you-" He clumsily offers.

Gina's heart physically aches at his words. Why does he have to be so sweet and stupid? "No, it's fine. Ricky, I'm fine. It's very sweet of you."

"Anything for you." Ricky says, his eyes close once his brain catches up with what he'd let slip. "For any of my friends, you know." His arm crosses over his chest. He winces at how ungracefully the words are coming out.

"Right." Gina huffs with a smile. She wondered how he would react if she told him she knew about the chocolates. If "friendly" gestures ever meant something more at the moment he did it. She gently kicks her desk chair and purses her lips. She knows that would mean they would have to talk about everything. "I should probably be heading to bed soon." 

"Yeah, you need your rest." Ricky shakes his head as if trying to shake the disappointment from his system, he'd wanted to talk to her a little bit longer. "Feel better, Gi."

Gina bit her lip in trepidation. 

"Ricky I-"

"Yeah?"

The nerves and the weight of everything between them seemingly get the best of her. The skate park, the homecoming dance, opening night the year before, the bonfire, it all came back to her in one fell swoop. She ultimately decides against things changing again for the millionth time. "Nevermind." Gina softly says, "Goodnight, Ricky." 

"Night, Gi." Ricky gently replies.

Dreaming about Gina is not an entirely new phenomenon to him. The landscape however was subject to change every time. This time it seemed he was by a pool. The air was hot but not stifling or dry, there was an unmistakable summer breeze. 

Ricky looks around to take it in, he hadn't been here before. The pool stood in the cemented part surrounded by overarching evergreen trees and a grassy plain, there were cabins nearby and gas-lit lanterns with fairy lights all around the buildings. It looked like a camp of some sort, a camp quiet in the dead of night. He wanted to look around and assess the area but it seemed the place had been quiet, asleep more accurately. The water was pleasantly cool from where he sat on the ledge.

"It's past curfew." Gina stated, walking passed the metal fence, "What are you doing out here?" Ricky blinks taking in her presence. She was wearing a stringy pink top with straps wrapped around her neck and pajama shorts.

"Could ask you the same thing, Anna."

Gina's brow playfully raises as she approaches. "I asked you first, Kristoff."

"Sometimes I like to come out here to swim, it clears my head." Ricky's sights are back on the chlorine-filled pool and the colored lights change just below the surface.

" At midnight?" Gina questions. She shakes off her slippers, sits next to him, and settles her legs in the water.

Ricky shrugs, "There's no one around usually. It's kinda nice."

Gina takes a small step back, "Sorry for intruding then."

"No, it's cool." Ricky's expression softens, "I'm glad you're here."

Gina smiles back unabashed and bright, "I didn't even know the pool was lit up like this at night." The clear water's color changes from purple to blue to green in the span of a few minutes, and the pair silently watch.

"Technically it's not." He finally answers. Gina furrows her brow in question. "Don't look at me, all I did was push some buttons on a remote I found in the creepy pool shed." He nods toward the run-down wooden structure far behind the lounge chairs and into the trees.

 "I'm surprised you were able to get in there all by yourself, chicken." She whispers the teasing name with her nose cutely scrunched, the gap between them getting smaller.

Ricky shakes his head, "If I'm remembering right, you were actually pretty spooked by the time we got to the barn. So maybe you're the real chicken here."

Gina's lips quirk downward in an adorable pout, his eyes follow the movement. "I don't think you are remembering right."

"Are we sure that basketball didn't hit you a little too hard? Affect your memory maybe?"

"Too far Bowen!" Gina exclaims with wide eyes and a breathy laugh. Ricky spares her an apologetic glance and gently touches the right side of her forehead where the ball made contact. A giggle escapes her lips while she swats his hand away, ultimately his laugh colors the air with mirth.

"It was a little scary for a minute there when you passed out." He softly admits.

Gina eyes his profile, "Were you worried about me Bowen?"

"Yeah." She only half expects him to answer honestly, that much is clear from her face. Ricky clears his throat, "Then you scored that basket without skipping a beat." he lightly finishes, hoping to alleviate the tension in the air blanketed by very real feelings.

"What can I say I'm a woman of many talents." she confidently shrugs. 

"I know." Gina blinks at the quickness of his response, a tinge of pink colors his cheeks as a result. "You're pretty good at dodging questions too." He clumsily adds.

Gina runs her hands through the water, "Am I?" 

Ricky studies her as she sits back up and sets her hands on the concrete edge. "What are you doing here?" His tone is effortlessly warm and soothing, seeking something he knows lies beneath the surface with her.

Gina meets his eyes, "Needed to clear my head a little after the promposal fiasco tonight."

The thought is so clear in his dream-riddled mind, EJ is an idiot. The curly-haired skater shakes his head and purses his lips, thinking through the right words that didn't completely eviscerate her terrible boyfriend.

"I'm sure the day of he'll come to his senses." Ricky finally says.

"I don't know he seems pretty set on the musical,"  Gina bitterly responds, kicking her feet passively in the water. "And it's not like he's wrong for it or anything I love that he's so passionate about it. It's just I wish I didn't feel like I wasn't-"

"A priority." Ricky finishes. He'd known exactly what that felt like, more than she knew.

"Yeah."  Gina feels like she can breathe easier, "I also don't feel like he'd include me with stuff in his life either. It feels like there's no plan."

"I get it. Believe me."

"I'm sorry for dumping all this on you. I don't mean to-"

"It's okay. I promise." Ricky reassures her. Warmth travels from her hand which had gotten closer and closer to his on the pavement until they touched. Then a spark flared there where their pinkies met. Ricky swallows and tries to remember to breathe, he casts her that wide-eyed look she'd been on the receiving end time and time again. Gina keeps her eyes on the water and then the spark and warm feeling were gone. She'd torn her hand away from his and instead, put them behind her neck to undo the straps of her pink top.  

Ricky's jaw nearly hits the ground as he harshly blinks, "What are you doing?"  Her brow raises while she tampers a smile,  Gina stands throwing her shirt onto a nearby lounge chair revealing her pink cheetah print bikini top.

"What does it look like?"  The curly-haired beauty shrugs off her shorts next, "Didn't you come here to swim?"

Ricky huffs out a laugh when she jumps in without a second thought. Her head pops out of the water just as quickly with her damp braids tied in a ponytail splayed on her shoulders. It's enough to prompt him to take his shirt off and join her. The details get fuzzier as the night goes on and soon when he wakes the only thing he can recall is her laugh, the colors of the water, and the feeling of their lips meeting underwater.

[utah theater loser]: What does it mean if you're having dreams about someone?

[little ricky]: u have to tell gina your in love with her or I'm going to do something that gets me on the 5 o clock news

[utah theater loser]: why 5 o clock

[little ricky]: why do I answer your dms

also mf GOOGLE IS FREE

[utah theater loser]: wait ur so right

[utah theater loser]: also have you ever been to summer camp?

[little ricky]: consult google! jet is #closed

[utah theater loser]: whatever fine ily

[2 mins later]

[utah theater loser]: so ur just not gonna say it back?

[little ricky]: 1. you are in no position to judge mr i think i kinda you know

[utah theater loser]: woah omg? i told you that in confidence?

[little ricky]: 2. YOU ARE SO NEEDY

ily damn

[utah theater loser]: :)

[beast boi]: What does it mean if you're having dreams about someone?

also hi ash 

[ashy]: hi ricky omg are we rlly having this conversation?

im so excited

[beast boi]: ur already sm better at this than jet

[ashy]: who's jet?

[beast boi]: nvm that 

so I had this dream about someone and this isn't the first time that it happened

[ashy]: what was the dream about?

[beast boi]: well it was just me and this other person and we were talking at a pool in like a camp place? then we swam in the pool

it was fun

[ashy]: okayyy i grabbed my crystals this should help

[beast boi]: oh cool okay

[ashy]: is this person someone your really close to?

[beast boi]: well yeah

[ashy]: would you say this is someone you have romantic feelings for?

[beast boi]: well yeah pretty strong feelings yeah 

[ashy]: well theres been alot of books and stuff written 

about how people sometimes dream of their soulmates 

sometimes if the connection is really strong it can even surpass that

[beast boi]: wow 

[beast boi]: what's better than soulmates?

[ashy]: its something called a twin flame connection

honestly i doubt that's what's happening here its like really rare

although the crystals could be telling me otherwise

[beast boi]: whats a twin flame?

[ashy]: well its basically when ur so connected to someone that they mirror you 

not like in mime weird way but your lives kinda parallel eachother and some times the bond is 

so strong that those same forces pushing you together 

push you apart bc ur so similar

[beast boi]: oh

[ashy]: is that making sense?

[beast boi]: yeah it is i just dont know if i believe in all of it

[ashy]: well whether you believe it or not your subconscious is trying to tell you something

its worth paying attention to

[beast boi}: thanks ash 

[ashy]: np beast boy

Opening night was right around the corner along with Winter Fest and the Winter Formal. Over the past few weeks, the halls of East High were buzzing with talks of carnival rides, coordinating ties, and everything the winter break would promise; time outside those halls. The senior sat in quiet anticipation of the break more and more every day. He'd needed some type of quiet from the noise festering in his mind as of late, even though this winter break would prove to be his last at East High. Anxiety creeps up on him, he swallows the tough thought and tries to think through it like he'd been doing for the last few months. His therapist told him he couldn't run from his feelings and a lot of the time it was easier said than done but he feels less heavy when he remembers there's still time and the people that he loves are still here. 

(Red's well-timed jokes, Ashlyn's horoscope advice, Kourtney's quips, Carlos's gossip, Ms.Jenn's  comforting hugs, and Gina's smile lingers pleasantly in his mind, calming his breathing)

Ricky let out a heavy breath as he walked passed the encouraging posters and red and white panther logos, Push it to the limit!  He makes the unusual decision to stop and eye it further. 

It seems the school wasn't capable of keeping their DCOM's straight because while there were dozens of HSM-themed ones that were up during their production of the musical, this one wasn't one of the ones that remained. 

The skater smiles to himself when he thinks about how he'd finished all the High School Musical movies and then some, with Gina, to know so.

("If you tell me you've never seen Cheetah Girls, I might actually have to ask you to leave...." 

"......Well...."

"Ricky......")

"Anyone would know that quote is from Mr.Bluh's DCOM classic, Jump-in!"

Ricky jumps, clutching the strap of his book bag tighter. He sighs with relief as he meets the eyes of a mildly annoyed Carlos. "God, Carlos. You and Ms.Jenn need to get some bells or something."

"It kinda annoys me that everyone who hasn't seen this cinematic masterpiece probably assumes it's from HSM." Carlos purses his lips and shakes his head, Ricky decidedly breezes by the sign, further into the loud crowded halls. 

"Or people don't notice it and walk the halls in peace." Ricky replies, his eyes narrow of their own volition, as if just now registering what he'd said. "Or as much peace as you can have in high school" He tiredly says with a shrug. 

"No one who hasn't seen hot young Corbin Bluh jumping rope with Keke Palmer is not living peacefully in any way."

"Are you sure you're pronouncing his name right?"

"Of course I am." Carlos quickly shrugs off the subject with an incredulous expression as the pair finally arrive at the senior's locker. "Anyways on to real pressing matters, this whole situation with you and Gina is getting ridiculous." Ricky freezes right where he stands, the lock in his hand feels heavier.  Carlos persists nonetheless and pulls no punches with his straightforward expression and crossed arms, "Why aren't you two a thing yet?" He finally asks.

Ricky practically chokes on air, "What?!" He asks, the curly-haired skater then decides to use his locker as a temporary barrier between himself and his friend. He opens the locker wider and shoves the books he doesn't need, Carlos rolls his eyes behind the metal door.

He angles his head past the door, prompting his hand on the door to help. "You heard me. What is going on between you two?"

Ricky shakes his head in confusion, "She told you we kissed?"

"Gina told me you kissed her at Natalie's party." Ricky stiffens and blankly stares at the contents of his locker. He's temporarily transported back to that fateful night. The shortness of breath, the warmth, and the electricity. The wanting is so clear in his mind it thrums in tandem with his heartbeat with nowhere to go, making him feel fidgety and restless. Carlos' brown eyes dart back and forth from his books back to his friend, "And more importantly that she kissed you back!" He adds, nudging Ricky back to life. 

He clears his throat, "This is actually none of your business." Ricky swallows while trying to shrug off the feeling, for now. He's learned some things.

Carlos tilts his head in thought, "Well, it's not but it is."

"Carlos-"

"What's the hold up? She knows you like her, clearly." Carlos spares him a look, one that read 'I know you dont be stupid'. Ricky bites his lip, his pointer finger taps on the door of his locker relentlessly. "She likes you and broke up with EJ like ages ago. So what's going on?"

"It was a few weeks ago, Los." Ricky retorts quietly, his shoulders relax as he closes his locker door. 

 Carlos rolls his eyes, "Gina is fine." His gaze softens in concern, only now taking in Ricky's now dejected stance. "Are you?"

The senior thinks about his words, "As long as she's okay, I'm okay." Ricky admits. It was true for the most part. He'd noticed the days that weren't the best or brightest for him so far were the ones where Gina had been a little too stressed by her hectic schedule or feeling down because her mom hadn't called. 

(He'd need all the patience in the world for the day he would meet Terri Porter)

Carlos gives him a droll shocked look and this time Ricky already moves ahead of him, practically knowing exactly what the junior choreographer was going to say. "...I think I'm going to be sick."

Ricky rolls his eyes and huffs, "Okay."

"Like physically ill, Ricky, you really like her." Carlos frowns with pity clear in his eyes, Ricky shakes his head, avoiding them.

The first bell finally rings, Ricky, for the first time feels like it'd been hours since he'd heard the sound. "Thanks for the reminder, hadn't thought about that today." Ricky sarcastically quips.

"You have to tell her eventually."

"Yeah eventually." Ricky stresses the word, he shakes his head in disbelief "I can't believe she told you."

Carlos raises a brow, catching up to his fast pace. "Well, she definitely couldn't talk to Ash about it." His voice softens again, it seeks his friend's hazel eyes. "You can talk to me about it too? You know that right?"

"I know, Los." Ricky nods sincerely, "Honestly, I think after opening night I should just say how I feel but until then..."

"Suffer in silence?" Carlos offers as the pair reach the staircase.

"We're friends, I'm not exactly suffering. It's just hard not to say how you feel sometimes but spending time with her is worth it." Ricky earnestly replies.

Carlos huffs a breath in disbelief in conjunction with the physical exertion of climbing steps. He'd really have to get in better shape before choreographing the next show. "I can't believe I'm talking to the same Ricky Bowen that couldn't even sing I love you in a song last year"

Ricky's lips tinge upward proudly, "I've changed." He opens the door for Carlos and he smiles gratefully at the gesture. The two walk-in tandem a little quicker past Mr.Mazzara's door, naturally. "Well if the whole suffering in silence thing is the case for now, I think you should ask her to the winter fest."

"Ask who to winter fest?"

Ricky blinks at the new arrival next to him while Carlos nods to her in greeting. Ricky notices and smiles to himself at his influence on his friend. "Oh hey, Neens."

"Hey" Nini casually responds.

Ricky and Carlos trade a look before he responds. Should I? 

The junior poses a slight shrug and widens his eyes in response I don't know.  Ricky turns to her awaiting brown eyes, "Carlos thinks I should ask Gina to Winter Fest." He impulsively replies.

"Oh." Nini says, she blinks for a few seconds and finally takes in the sort of weird atmosphere that surrounded them. She realizes she and Ricky never really got around to talking like exes, mostly because they were either friends or not around each other to take part in the conversation. She clears her throat and brushes past the awkwardness. You were friends once upon a time, she reminds herself. "You totally should."

"Really?" Ricky asks, relaxing more into the conversation.

"Yeah." Nini says, more assured in her words. There was no glossing over it, not with the way the two acted around each other in rehearsal or the way they were practically inseparable during their HSM production. Ricky and Gina were like a collision waiting to happen. "Honestly I'm kind of surprised you're both still in that 'just friends' phase right now."

"See? Everyone can see your shameless flirting when you're not even together, are you not embarrassed?" Carlos pointedly says. 

"Flirting?"

"Dude." Nini says with a skeptical furrowed brow. "Ricky be serious." Carlos narrows his eyes at him while the curly-haired skater clutches the strap of his bag closer to him. "The subtle touches that last a little too long in rehearsal," Carlos lists, "Were playing a married couple!" Ricky defends with a shrug.

"The obvious glances," Nini adds as if not hearing his interjection. "And don't even get me started on the whole carrying her to class thing." Carlos finishes. 

"Her ankle was hurt." Ricky lamely excuses while Nini and Carlos share a look. "We have a show to put on, I don't know if either of you are aware."

"I'm very aware. As your choreographer I appreciate your 'professionalism'" Carlos stops at the door they approach, "But as your friend, I think the sooner you tell her the better." He casts Ricky one more knowing glance for the road, "I gotta get to trig." Carlos says gesturing toward the room.

"I love you, Los." Ricky says it so easily now, Nini notes. It doesn't exactly make a twinge of bitterness come up like she'd been expecting, it doesn't make her feel less special either. It unexpectedly makes her feel sort of relieved and glad that he'd opened himself up to love in the ways it came to him. It kind of made the memory of them feel less heavy. 

"Yeah, yeah love you too Richard." Carlos offhandedly replies as he walks through the door while the curly-haired boy she'd known all her life smiles and walks forward. 

"He's right you know." Nini cuts through the silence they'd found themselves in without another person walking with them, another person stepping in as a buffer for their history. She hoped maybe one day they'd get to a place they didn't need that, where their history doesn't have to weigh them this way. 

"I know." Ricky nods slowly like the sentiment weighed him.

Nini studies his profile, "It'll work out."

"Thanks, Nini." The second bell rings and the two scramble to their next classes nearby, "I'll see you at rehearsal."

"If you crash into one of these trees my dad will kill me you get that, right?"

It's the dead of winter but Ricky feels warm at the sound of Gina's unabashed laugh. It fuels something in him. "You're giggling and laughing like you're not gonna attend my very premature funeral. This is no laughing matter, Porter."

"This is no laughing matter, Porter." Gina mimics, still trying to tame the chuckle escaping through her words. "I'm literally just driving a stick shift not attempting rocket science."

"You'd probably be good at that too." Ricky offhandedly says. She shakes her head and tampers a brilliant smile.

Her hands are at ten and two, she checks her mirrors and assesses her surroundings; all the standard driving moves before getting on the road. Ricky tries (and fails) to tamper a fond smile at her focused expression, her pout and slightly scrunched brows always gave her away. 

Soon enough Ricky is talking her through getting them out of the spot they were parallel parked at by his place. The street is only slightly populated with cars and trees just by his residential area. He's patient and teases her when she needs to get out of her own head, Gina doesn't realize how often she'd needed it (or silently craved it). "You did it Gi!" Ricky's undoubtedly proud in the passenger's seat. She's huffing out a relieved breath with the brightest smile on her face until she double parks by a Prius in front of his building.

Gina looks at the white collection of snow on the ground, most of it swept to the side aligned by the cars on each side of the street.  She eyes the tire tracks on the pavement and seeds of doubt form. "Are you sure this is a good idea? you know, driving with the snow? The roads are icy."

"It's not snowing right now we'll be fine. Besides you need the practice for all potential scenarios." Ricky reassures her, he eyes the clear skies through the windshield and then turns back to her unsettled disposition. "You nervous?"

"No, I've driven a bunch of times with snow on the ground. I'm basically a pro." Gina lies, she's pretty sure he can tell by the way the intensity of his gaze feels more focused. 

"Your hands are shaking." He notes, slightly amused. It's odd when he's the calm one, Gina realizes. "It's cold out." The curly-haired beauty pridefully defends with an adorable pout. At that point, she decides to put the car in drive to get them on their way. 

"Right." Ricky playfully concedes, her eyes roll of their own volition but even he can see the barest hint of a smile on her lips as they drive through his neighborhood. He resists the urge to reach out and grab her hand posed on the gear shift but then she moves it anyway and bites her lip pensively.  "You're doing great so far, I promise." He'll always catch her, whether it meant physically when she tripped once or twice in rehearsal or with the predetermined pitfalls in her head that sounded suspiciously like the voice of Terri Porter. 

Gina turns quickly settling her big brown eyes on him while they were stopped at a red light,  "Really, really?"

"Yeah." Ricky nods his head enthusiastically, then his brain catches up to his rapid movements and he stops. It seemed Gina took note because she hid a laugh by clearing her throat and now he's silently scolding himself for doing something stupid. Ricky shakes his head, "You're doing a lot of lot better than me on my first round with icy roads. My mom almost took away my license and my dad had to drive us back home after I went a little too fast on the highway."

"It's not as bad as I thought." Gina relaxes in her seat a little, she turns the volume up from the console. She nodded along to the song playing on the 'smooth cruising' playlist Ricky had made for her earlier. "My brother never got the chance to teach me even though he said he would when I turned 16." The GPS from her phone harps out a direction, interrupting the melodic singing from The Marias. Ricky purses his lips and blinks a few times, trying not to obviously eye her profile. She makes a left turn and follows it with ease even with the weight of the topic change settling in her gut. 

"He's in California now right?" Ricky finally asks.

"Yup."

Anyone who really knows you would never leave you

"Well, I'm glad you're here." He gets a small sense of deja vu from the words, the very same ones he realized he spoke in his dream. She looks at him and sees the family she's made here. Ashlyn's secret smile from the one too many times she'd burst into her room discussing date nights with Red. The endless laughs that came from co-choreographing with Carlos last semester. Gossiping with Kourt at braiding appointments with Sandra. Memories that color her mind and warm her heart, staying with her as long as she lives.

Gina's smile is light but the words that follow feel anything but, "Me too." she says with a hushed whisper. The softness of her tone awakens something in him and implores an unearthed truth to make its way to the surface. 

(iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou)

"Gi, I need to tell you something."

The sound of an incoming notification interrupts him and the melodious singing of TV Girl's Lovers Rock fades further into the background. Gina's eyes momentarily flicker to her screen before they get back on the road. "Hang on Ash just texted me, can you see what it is?"

Ricky holds the very deep sigh he wants to release back and takes the device in his hands, "She wants to know if you'll be back late tonight." Gina hums thoughtfully. "We're just stopping by the cafe right?"

"Yeah unless you want to do something else after like a movie or...." Ricky awkwardly poses the question, Gina notes the way his hand moves to scratch the back of his neck before she turns into the parking lot. The sun was winding down illustrating the sky with an array of purple and orange. The parking lot at Cosmo's diner had pink, blue, and purple lights reflecting from the neon sign onto the snow.

She should say yes. She wants to say yes and hang out with Ricky Bowen, and toe the line between friendship and something else like they did all fall semester last year. She wants to feel the butterflies, fireworks, buzzing, and roaring sound of her heart hammering in her ears whenever he so much as sends a text her way.

But they were in the dead of winter and as fun as it had been walking on that fine line nothing was the same. She wasn't the same either. Sue her maybe Gina's heart wanted a break. 

"That sounds fun but I gotta get my homework done, didn't get a chance to do it after cheer today." Gina's hands fall from the steering wheel, she grips the stick shift with her left hand to put the car in park.

"It's cool, no worries." Ricky bites his lip while his eyes dart around the perimeter, "You parked pretty well." He observes with a quiet lightness in his tone. 

"Thanks for letting me drive. I really appreciate it, Ricky." Gina earnestly says, her chocolate brown eyes bore into his as they walk the snow-covered ground toward the entrance. Heat pools his stomach and he feels he might just melt into the ground where they stood. 

Ricky shakes his head and puts his hands in his pockets where they're warm and safely away from hers before he does something stupid like hold them. "Well once I told my dad it was for you to get practice he was more than willing to lend the car." His hands fidget in his pockets when her arm brushes up against his. 

"Just for that, he's getting a batch of those smores cookies from that video you sent me."

"He already prefers you over me. You do this and I'm done for." Ricky huffs and his breath lingers in the cool air.

"I don't think that's true." Gina nudges him and purses her lips. "Also I kinda have to do it. I don't know if you know this but I'm an overachiever."

"I know." Ricky hopes the two words don't feel as ridiculously fond as they sound in his mind. Gina stops in front of the door because she hears the irrecoverable fondness and for the second or third time that night it feels like he's trying to tell her something.

(She knows what it is)

(But can she really be sure?)

She clears her throat and tucks a braid behind her ear,  Ricky's eyes follow the movement intently, "Before I forget, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh um-" Ricky licks his lips while Gina carefully eyes his impossibly unreadable expression, "It can wait." He finally says. Ricky props open the door for her, evading the weight of her eyes on him, concerned and wanting.

Gina blinks, "You sure?"

Ricky meets her stare head-on, "Do you want to go to Winter Fest with me?"

"Oh."

(Well that she didn't really see coming)

(His stomach plummets and at that moment he decides he's going to text Nini an apology later)

"I know you didn't get a chance to go last year with moving and everything. It's kinda a stupid tradition the hosts every year but it can be like really fun." Ricky rambles and quickly realizes he's still holding the door while Gina is well inside by now. Doris, his favorite waitress at the establishment, is glaring at him for letting the cold air in and he winces apologetically.

"I'd love to." Gina wished she had a camera she couldn't believe how wide his eyes looked at that moment. 

"Really?"

Gina nods with a soft smile painted on her face, "Yeah sounds fun."

"Cool." Ricky smiles, it's his easy smile one that doesn't ask much of others and makes everything subtly brighter. "I can pick you up from Ashlyn's if you want?"

"Actually can I meet you there? I kinda wanted to hang with Ash and Kourt a bit because we've barely hung out since I've been so busy with cheer, the musical, and everything."

The pair slowly settle into the booth they'd taken to sitting in last year. The diner had become a frequent of sorts for Ricky when his parents had first started fighting years ago. it was always a place where he could be alone with his thoughts like the skate park, in those times that he didn't go with Red, But last year with Gina he'd come over a lot more they'd become somewhat regulars during the autumn season; he liked to think he was Doris' favorite but over time he could tell she fell for her charms and grew to love Gina more. He couldn't blame her. "Yeah of course it's cool with me. Do you wanna meet by the Ferris wheel at 8?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

(It's a date)

Falling into Gina's eyes isn't a new sensation but one done over time with ease, a kind habit that never stopped giving.

"Richard, are you gonna order something or stare into the girl's eyes all night? I can't charge you for that." Doris loudly quips by the counter, as she picks up a plate full of something fried and deeply unhealthy.

Ricky looks down at the menu they'd seen time and time again, he passes Gina one and their fingers brush. The heat from the action trails up his arm pleasantly. With her near he'd never need gloves again. "Doris you never make ordering things weird!" He awkwardly exaims while Gina tries to cover her giggles with a cough. 

[mom]: So it's been good between you two then?

[Ricky]: yeah I would say so, rehearsals aren't weird and we've been joking around lately

[Ricky]: it's nice

she said yes to winter fest with me too

[mom]: Nice! Glad to hear it.

[mom]: Jaz wants to know "if those two have just kissed and left us alone already"

[Ricky]: Well you can go ahead and tell her I don't kiss and tell

[Ricky]: and she's a buttface

[mom]: So I will take that as a no

[mom]: And I'm not calling your sister that Ricky

(Ricky smiles at the mention of the younger girl)

[Ricky]: I want to tell Gina how I feel but

[Ricky]: it never feels like the right time, its always like something just gets in the way

[mom]: Don't let her get away 

[mom]: Second chances don't come easy so if it comes grab it with both hands and lay everything on the line

[Ricky]: thanks mom

[Ricky]: I love you 

[mom]: I love you too, Ricky ❤️

Chapter Text

Gina had been excited to experience her first Winter fest at East High. Over a few weeks, the parking lot had slowly been transformed into a winter wonderland colored in white, blue, and silver. The lot was adorned with students and families playing different carnival games from ring toss to the always crowded Ferris Wheel, planted right in the middle of the chaos. Kourtney had been fawning over her newly won plush salamander from the guessing booth as the tercet made their way to the tilt-a-whirl.

Ashlyn wrapped her scarf a little tighter around her neck, the cold air bites her red nose as the tercet approaches the booth. "I've always liked that winter fest is today." The red-haired Caswell claimed.

Gina's questioning gaze focused on her best friend, "Why? What's so special about today?"

"Tonight marks the winter solstice and the moon is in the waxing crescent phase, honestly anything can happen." Ashlyn honestly answers and Kourtney's brow raises subtly.

"As long as anything means the impending snowstorm coming this weekend doesn't decide to make an early appearance and ruin our fun tonight, I'm cool." Kourtney states. The girls move up in the line eventually getting to the front. Gina shakes not only because of the cold but in anticipation, it had been a long time since she'd been at a carnival or festival of this caliber. The only real time she remembers doing something like this was when her older brother had pleaded with their mother to take them to the state fair in New Jersey after moving there for the summer.

Now she smiles as she gets on a spinning carnival ride with the friends she'd made in a place she couldn't imagine staying in for more than a few months. Now that place was home.

The tilt-a-whirl issued a count down and the girls could only giggle in excitement. Kourtney gives her an anxious look and Ashlyn sure to reassure her just as quick as it comes. Gina feels Kourtney's hand slip into hers when the ride starts and she's not sure she'd rather be anywhere else. The trio's laughter merged with the mechanism's melody, carried away by the force. Vibrant lights streaked across Gina's vision, creating a dizzying tapestry of colors. A mix of exhilaration and disorientation painted her expression. When it was all said and done after a few seconds of laying back on the wall she heard Ashlyn mumble, "This was like living in an episode of euphoria or something." Gina snorts and Kourtney swallows thickly trying to catch her breath.

"I'm so glad I decided to save that funnel cake for after the ride." Kourtney blinks a few times, waiting for her body to catch up to her surroundings as they exit the ride. "I'm also glad you saved the funnel cake for later." Gina agrees with a giggle. The Tercet decidedly hold each other by their arms till they can collectively stand on their own, the cold air sobers them up from their exhilaration soon enough.

"Well, what should we do now?" Kourtney asks.

"I'm down to play another game, although I have no idea how good my aim is right now after that thing."

"We can always visit the fortune teller tent, I'm pretty sure it's up now." Gina shrugs while Kourtney purses her lips. Ashlyn flashes a quick excitable grin, "I can't wait for you guys to meet my astrologist she's working as the fortune teller tonight." she hurriedly says.

"That should be fun." Gina nods with a small smile.

"Madame Reyna has never been wrong," Ashlyn assures her.

Gina nodded, her eyes lighting up. "Yeah, let's check it out. I've never had my fortune read before."

Kourtney hesitated, glancing at the purple tent a few stalls over with skepticism. "I'm not sure about this. I don't really vibe with mysticism like that."

Ashlyn shakes her head, "Come on, Kourtney! It's all in good fun. Besides, it's the winter solstice; let's embrace the magic!"

Reluctantly, Kourtney agreed to sit this one out. "I'll be over by the bench snuggled up with some Funnel cake, thank you very much. I can get some for y'all while you're in there?" She proposes and Ashlyn smiles appreciatively.

"That sounds nice, thanks Kourt." Gina nods.

Gina and Ashlyn walked along the icy snow-paved pathway passed the third toss-the-ring stall and approached Madame Reyna's tent.

Inside, the tent was draped with mystical fabrics, and the scent of incense hung in the air. Madame Reyna, a woman with twinkling eyes and flowing scarves, welcomed them. Excitement filled Ashlyn's eyes as she eagerly sat down. Gina followed suit, open to the experience. Reyna cast her gaze over a deck of tarot cards and then gestured for Ashlyn and Gina to take the two seats in front of the table. She gives Ash a warm smile and inhales deeply. 

"I'm Gina." She introduces herself and Reyna nods quickly like she knew that fact already.

"Let's begin, shall we?" She said, laying out the cards for Gina. "We will start with you." The long-haired psychic decides after casting Gina a knowing look.

Ashlyn practically bounces in her seat with excitement while Gina blinks, "Okay" she softly responds.

Something in Madame Reyna's expression softens, "We will do a six-spread reading, I usually do it with people who tend to be guarded and are a bit trickier to read."

"It's a perfect starter reading." Ashlyn eagerly says.

"I'll take your word for it." Gina shrugs while Reyna shuffles the cards and eyes her carefully.

"Each card that is picked will stand for something different, three will be for the past, present, and future and the other three will stand for your career, spiritual aspirations-"

"and love." Ashlyn interjects enthusiastically.

"Yes." Reyna says with a demure smile, soon enough she stops shuffling the cards and it's like the air stills. The candle by Ashlyn stops flickering in the wind and Gina stiffens. "Pick a card."

Gina takes one from the top of the stack Reyna's hands, the psychic takes the card and doesn't flip it over she puts it faced down on the table. "Now pick another," Reyna divides the stack into three piles and Gina looks over at Ashlyn as if for guidance.

"I can't pick for you." She whispers. Then she looks back at Reyna, eyeing her expectedly. Gina takes one card from the middle stack.

"Pick more from whichever pile until we get to six." Reyna directs. Gina exhales and picks four more different cards from miscellaneous piles until six are laid out perfectly in front of the pair.

"Now we will begin with the past."

Gina swallows harshly, she doesn't really know why she's nervous. She'd never believed in this kind of thing before. It was always just a fun thing her best friend was into, never really something she took much stalk in, especially knowing what her mom would think of something like this.

Reyna turns over the card and her expressive eyes carry a glimmer of sadness in them before her face becomes impassive as she looks up in the candlelit glow it quickly goes away, but Gina sees it. "You've had a difficult childhood filled with many disappointments and little to no stability. Connections did not come easy to you."

Ashlyn bites her lip awkwardly and gives Gina a knowing stare, the curly-haired beauty clears her throat and touches the end of her pink cardigan. "That's pretty accurate yeah."

"You are very strong." Reyna notes before she moves on to the next card. Gina blinks and Ashlyn gives her an encouraging smile. "Thank you." she softly replies.

Reyna stares at the card for a moment and her expression is infuriatingly blank. "This is for the present. Someone with whom you shared a deep connection in your past is coming back, or more than one person. You are at a crossroads of sorts and are unsure whether to accept the love being offered, as you are afraid of raising your expectations and being disappointed again."

"Is that true?" Ashlyn asks, Gina ignores the question and bites her lip, feeling exposed. Madame Reyna tilts her head carefully touching the card in the middle.

"I want to see the future card." Gina suddenly says.

Reyna quirks a brow, "Are you sure?" Ashlyn's eyes bounce back and forth between Reyna and Gina.

"Yes."

Madame Reyna turns over the third card and the barest hint of a smile shows on her face. "The future promises abundance. Everything you went through or currently are going through has a positive outcome on the other side." Reyna calmly says.

Gina tears her eyes away from the card an illustration of cups littering the surface, and instead looks back up at Reyna skeptically. "You may believe what you like this is simply what the cards say." it's hard to believe with the kind of life she'd led that anything could lead to greener grass on the other side but something inside her tugs, Salt Lake had always been different. why wouldn't her future here be different too?

"Let's keep going."

"I'm sensing you've been quite skilled at that," Reyna mutters to which Gina issues a challenging brow. Ashlyn observes the cards with a quiet curiosity. "Now next is the career card,"

Gina and Ashlyn both sit up, eager to hear what the elder woman has to say. Reyna smiled to herself subtly as if the card held something she already knew. "This is a very powerful card, one of influence and fame. The world will know your name, Gina."

"That's so cool." Ashlyn explains and Gina playfully rolls her eyes. "So she's gonna make it as a dancer/performer?" Ash inquires further while Gina quietly waits for the answer. "It's up to her." Is (annoyingly) all the psychic directed at Gina.

Reyna smoothly flipped over the next card, the one symbolizing spiritual growth, it was a card Ashlyn seemed anxious to see. "You will have both what you want and need. A full life in every sense of the word. It will be earned because your growth will not be linear and still many internal challenges will be faced."

Gina tilts her head thoughtfully while Ashlyn nudges her at the promising reading.

"Finally the most popular of readings, the card of love," Reyna simply states. Gina feels her heart rate slightly quicken while Ashlyn bites her lip in anticipation.

Reyna eyes the card and pauses before she speaks, for once she seems a bit taken back. Gina smiles and internally cheers that it seemed like there was a least one thing this woman didn't know. Then her dark brown eyes flicker toward Gina carefully and her smile disappears.

"You share a particularly rare bond with someone that is seemingly out of reach. This is the push and pull of the twin flame dynamic."

"The what?"

"Gina has a twin flame?" Ashlyn asks in awe.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"It's a very rare connection with someone where you can be so much alike that you mirror each other in a way, but that same synergy-"

"-Is also the same thing that can keep you apart. Timing can usually be really hard for people with that kind of relationship." Ashlyn finishes, Reyna does not look so appreciative of the interruption this time and the red-haired girl quiets for a moment.

Gina huffs and warmth travels to her cheeks. "That's-that's crazy."

"You have someone in mind I can tell." Reyna simply states and Gina squirms in her seat. A beat passes and Ashlyn tries not to eye her best friend so obviously.

"He thinks of you very fondly, you likely captivate his dreams. And vice-versa." Reyna finally breaks the silence.

"Did you say dreams?" Ashlyn asks with wide eyes.

"Yes," Reyna calmly responds, the squint of her eyes is ever so slight. "But you know this already don't you?"

"What is she talking about Ash?"

"Ricky had texted me a few days ago asking about what it meant if he was having dreams about someone."

Gina's eyes widen, "What?!" 

"I mean I knew he was probably talking about you but wow!" Ashlyn admits in awe.

"It will be a very strong love," Reyna says and Gina kinda feels the urge to set the entire tent on fire. "One for the ages." she finishes.

"Okay, that's enough of this." Gina finally says, her leg uncharacteristically bouncing as she's unable to keep still at the moment. "Thanks for the reading, Madame Reyna. Super insightful." She stands and casts her best friend a look, "Ash, I'll wait for you outside." Ashlyn casts her friend a concerned look that she ignores.

"One more thing Ms. Porter." Gina stills and turns around, she tries not to be creeped out that she knows her last name.

"Remember you can have it all." Gina blinks and nods sincerely. The curly-haired beauty makes her way out of the small tent and into the welcoming brisk winter air. She spots Kourtney by red and white bright lights littered all over the picnic tables.

Kourtney chews on a piece of chocolate funnel cake, the powered sugar prominent on her hands. "How'd it go?" She asks as Gina slowly walks to the table. She takes a breath and settles on the wooden bench, "I...have no idea."

Kourtney looks at her then slides over the deep-fried sugar-covered confection, "What? Was she totally full of it?"

"No, not really, kinda the opposite I think." Gina softly says in quiet contemplation. She takes a piece of funnel cake and hums appreciatively at the sweet taste, it feels like a reward.

"Oh." Kourtney says and a beat passes between the pair. "I told y'all those things creep me out." Gina snorts and shortly after Ashlyn comes out of the purple tent, carefully walking down the icy path with a heavy expression clear on her features.

"Hey, you okay?" Gina asks carefully, Ashlyn blinks before she answers. "Tarot cards are all fun and games until you get to read for absolute filth."

"Maybe some funnel cake will make it better?" Kourtney slid over the plate of strawberry shortcake funnel cake she'd gotten for her on the wooden surface. "Thanks, Kourt." Ashlyn smiles and takes a piece apart, humming lightly in approval, thankful for the momentary reprieve from her overwhelming thoughts. Then it all comes storming back into her mind again and Gina notes the change of her expression. Ashlyn beats her to it before she can comment on it.

"Sometimes I feel like me and Biggie are going down different paths." Ashlyn suddenly admits, Kourtney and Gina stop their respective chewing and take in her words. "It scares me because I like him so much but the life that he wants for himself feels so...small next to the one I want." Ashlyn squeezes her eyes shut and her nose wrinkles with the effort while guilt settles at the pit of her stomach. "God, does that make me sound terrible? That's terrible isn't it?"

Gina reaches for her hand comfrotingly, "Not really, it's honest." Kourtney earnestly adds with a reassuring nod. Ashlyn purses her lips and takes a breath, finally allowing the relief of saying the truth aloud to be comforting.

"Did Reyna say something to you about Red?" Gina tentatively asks.

"No, she didn't bring him up at all actually." Ashlyn says, "I just think I'm finally able to admit the truth to myself tonight."

Gina moves her hand to rub her back as a gesture of comfort. She thinks about how what Madame Reyna said about her present and the truth she's unwilling to admit to herself now.

"Jamie called me last week." Gina says with a sigh, Kourtney's eyes widen at the admission. "Really?" Ashlyn's tone is littered with surprise.

"Yeah." Gina huffs, "It was kinda nice. After he came for opening night last semester, I thought he'd kinda fall off the face of the earth, but he's actually been..."

"Trying?" Kourtney offers.

"In his own way yeah." 

"Is that a good thing?" Ashlyn asks.

"If you asked me last year I probably would've told you that I was waiting for the other shoe to drop." Gina simply says with a shrug,  "Just waiting for the day when I'd curse myself for being right because I'd let someone in my life again after being shown that they won't show up for me consistently."

Kourtney gives her a reassuring smile, "And now?"

"Well now I just pick up his calls and rant about the time I've been putting in the dance studio or new moves I nailed in cheer." Gina let out a breath she'd been holding, "It feels new and different in a good way." She says in a light tone.

"I'm happy for you, Gi." Ashlyn says.

Gina smiles appreciatively, "Thanks."

"I don't know where I'm going to college and everything about making a decision this spring freaks me the hell out!" Kourtney blurts into the cold air.

Ashlyn blinks sharply and shakes her head, turning to face her friend. "What? Really?" Gina's lips part and her brow furrows in confusion.

Kourtney pouts anxiously, "Is it not obvious that I've been completely freaking out about this?" Ash and Gina share a look, "Um no?!" Gina finally says.

"Kourt you're one of the most confident self-assured people I know," Ashlyn assures her with conviction. 

Gina blinks several times, and the cold air somehow feels lighter around them. Like with each admission from them, the weight was gone. "Okay, what is going on right now?"

"I can't believe it took riding the tilt-a-whirl and a few minutes with a psychic for us to talk about this stuff."

"What was in that cotton candy?" Kourtney quietly questions, the treat they'd gotten earlier. Gina chuckles as she shakes her head.

"This is why we shouldn't go more than a few days without debriefs the word vomit that just came out of all of us was disgusting." Ashlyn bluntly. "100%, this is not happening again." Kourtney nods in agreement, "And if it is, it's happening at a sleepover away from prying eyes, lights, and sounds." she adds.

Gina concurs and takes another piece of her chocolate funnel cake. "Agreed, although I wouldn't be opposed to trauma dumping if there's a nice side of funnel cake to go with it." Ashlyn snorts and Kourtney nods with a bright smile on her face.

"I love you all? is this is a good time for a hug?" Ashlyn proposes.

"Yes please." Gina replies, reaching her arms out to embrace her friends. She closes her eyes and enjoys the shared warmth, Ashlyn hums pleasantly, "We can spin all this and blame it on the patriarchy right?" Her eyes had been closed until she pried one open to ask the question and Gina fights a laugh.

"Absolutely." Kourtney seriously responds, holding them tighter. 

Gina winces, "Speaking of which please don't hate me-" She says, her tone riddled with guilt. 

 The tercet disbands from their former position and Ashlyn smirks knowingly, "I almost forgot it's time for Gi to go see the reason we were late to pick you up." Gina gives her best friend a deadpan glare and Kourtney's eyes bounce between the two with a furrowed brow.

"Is that so?" Kourtney teasingly says.

Ash pokes her fork into her strawberry funnel cake, playfully avoiding Gina's eyes. "She had to change out of her outfit four times for her date with Ricky tonight." She admits and Gina scoffs at the accusation.

"You see how it's always a man at the scene of the crime somehow." Kourtney quips, raising her fork to point to them.

"It's not a date!" Gina quickly corrects, "This is my first winter fest okay, I wanna look nice!" She smooths her hand over her pale puffer coat while Kourtney and Ashlyn share a knowing look with smiles they are terrible at hiding.

"You're gonna be late," Ashlyn mocks her singing her words. Gina rolls her eyes fondly as she makes her way to the Ferris wheel. The weather promised a light snowfall that was starting to lightly make its way down.

Truthfully, Ricky Bowen was not the joining type.

While he wasn't one for a school dance or any type of formal function the school insisted on carrying out for the student body, his favorite among the festivities was always the winter solstice festival. It always fell around the perfect time, just right after exams and before winter break giving students a weekend of full reprieve to enjoy the holidays.

Last year, Red had been in his ear constantly about how he'd chickened out of every possible opportunity to ask Gina to the festival and then before the Thanksgiving season could come to a close, Gina had taken her last bow and did her diaspearing act. Those weeks after she left had been cloudy like a limbo or haze of indecision and the one thing that had been clear, or the one thing he could focus on was Nini, the gateway to the (somewhat) simple life he had before.

Now he'd finally asked the girl of his (literal) dreams to come to Winter Fest and things were finally coming together. He'd texted his mom and little sister about it consistently for the past week and tried to reign in expectations from it. He'd tried to do exactly that when he'd sent his mom potential outfit choices and Jas called him a loser for trying on an ugly Christmas sweater.

"It's a Christmas sweater my dad gave me last year." Ricky defensively whines over Facetime.

"You should burn it!" Jas exclaims.

"No one is burning anything!" Lynne sternly adds from her stance at the kitchen counter.

"Gina would think it's adorable." Ricky mumbles as he fiddles with the dark blue wool and the completely unavoidable Rudolph depiction in the middle.

"She might not be that into you..." Jas mutters with a skeptical look and Ricky scoffs in offense. "Mom!" He exclaims as his mother fights a tired laugh.

Ricky huffs out a harsh breath, and the air around him transforms into a white cloud with condensation. Red looks over at him and stops cooing at the fish he'd just won from the balloon darts. The red-haired senior looks at his phone and senses his friend's growing anxiety.

Red touches Ricky's shoulder, and the curly-haired senior knows it's time. "Good luck dude," He says with a comforting smile.

"Thanks." Ricky discernably replies.

"Remember it's not a date," Red shrugs, "But it kind of is."

Ricky squints at his friend, "Solid advice as always Red." He sarcastically quips. Red snorts, "It's just what I do."

Ricky walks along the icy path toward the giant Ferris wheel in the middle of the parking lot, the most popular attraction at the fair and also known as the pivotal romantic spot. Over the years it's been the sight of love confessions, first kisses, endless dates, and even a few promposals for the eager seniors who can't wait till spring. As cliche as it is it's the one spot he hopes will inspire the confidence to say how he feels.

The curly-haired senior can't help but still at the thought of being emotionally vulnerable in that way. He had gotten better in these last few months, the case and point being with all the progress he's made with his family. However, he can't help but think about the last time Gina had laid everything on the line with him and how everything went sour shortly after.

"Are you lost?" A voice calls to the left of him, Ricky turns to find an older woman in a flowy bright green dress with thick black stockings smoking a cigarette outside of a purple tent. A colorful decoration of flowers and gold trimmings illustrates the fortune teller sign that rests behind her.

"Huh?" He blinks.

The older woman smiles faintly, "You look like you got somewhere to be, young man. You better get there." Ricky opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out. "She won't wait forever and she does have many admirers." She puts out the cigarette beneath her foot and wraps the brown shawl around her shoulders tighter around her figure.

Ricky shakes his head, "How do you-"

"She's not out of reach. She is yours to keep, if you will tell her so." That's all the mysterious woman says before she makes her way back inside the warm tent.

What the fuck was that?

Gina's heart fluttered as she spotted Ricky near the front of the bustling Ferris wheel line. She bit her lip when her brain caught up to the small action the skater boy inspired. It was getting a bit annoying actually, the way she was so attuned to him that it barely took any real effort to find him on the line and how he'd made her heart rate quicken.

Their eyes eventually met, and Ricky, unknowingly holding his breath, released it in relief. Gina spotted the hat she had crafted, a vibrant blend of red, yellow, and orange yarn proudly perched on his head and she kind of wanted to melt into a puddle on the ground, accompanying the falling snow. 

Shuffling on his feet, hands tucked in his pockets, he awaited her with a shy yet eager smile.

"Hey" Gina says with a bright smile.

"Hey" Ricky softly replies.

Gina gestures toward the hat she'd made him with her chin,"I like your hat." She says with a proud smile.

"Yeah, this cool girl I met once made it after, like our second conversation." Ricky cooly responds, observing at the people in line ahead of them.

Gina scoffs in disbelief with her brows furrowed in offense and he can't fight the smile, "I can take that back thank you very much." She haughtily responded with her head tilted up in a way that was way too distracting, the curve of her jaw and pout of her lip demanded way too much attention from him (it wasn't his fault).

"Never." Ricky mumbles, he clears his throat at the unexpected thickness of emotion coloring his tone. "It's my favorite hat." He admits and her gaze softens as it settles on his profile. Redness colors his cheeks and the tips of his ears, he's prepared to blame the cold if she asks.

"Thanks for waiting. Were you here long?"

Ricky blinked several times, he'd missed the question because he'd finally noticed the snow falling and he was caught up in the way the small white crystals clung to her eyelashes.

"Huh?"

Gina purses her lips, fighting a smile. "We're you waiting on the line long?"

The curly-haired senior shakes his head, "Oh not that long, I just figured I'd get on because this line is always the longest. It's the most popular ride."

"Why is that?" Gina questions. Ricky evades the truth a bit in his answer, instead of readily admitting the romantic implications of the ride. "Well if you haven't noticed Gi there's not much to do here and a giant wheel that spins around is just way too good to pass up." He jokes. 

"Ah, the peak of entertainment for Salt Lake residents."

"Exactly" Ricky awkwardly shrugs, "So..what do you think of Winter Fest so far?"

Gina notices the line move forward and closes the gap, "Well let's see, I played a couple of rounds of ring toss and lost to a snotty seven-year-old," Ricky grimaces playfully and snorts, "completely destroyed Ash and Kourt at the hit or miss game and got this cute pink bracelet" Gina shows him the bracelet and he can't help but notice how the color compares to the pale pink of her cheeks. He notices her expression contort subtly, her nose scrunching. "Then had the weirdest conversation ever with a psychic, ate funnel cake, and had a nice but weirdly revealing emotional conversation with Kourt and Ash."

Ricky pauses, "Wait back up psychic?"

Gina resists a smile and raises her brow, "That's what you got from all that?"

"I bumped into her on my way over here." The curly-haired skater says. Gina feels the barest hint of a touch on the small of her back as they move forward in the line. "She was weird." He admits with a furrowed brow. 

Gina felt a rush of nerves swarm the pit of her stomach and she didn't know why, "What did she say to you?" The junior suddenly feels an urge to know.

"Just like random stuff." Ricky scratches his head and leans on the metal barracks, the couple in front of them take their seats on the white metal seats. 

Gina blinks, "Like wh-" 

Ricky shifted his weight to the tips of his feet and pointed toward the next available seat and the (obviously bored) carnival worker gestured for them to go next. "Oh, look we're next." The distraction was palpable, but Gina couldn't let go of the curiosity gnawing at her.

As they settled into the Ferris wheel seat, the world around them started to ascend. The gentle whirring of machinery and the distant sounds of the carnival still prevalent in the atmosphere, Gina settled into the seat. Soon the scene of children running around and screaming into the cold carnival air among the dozens of lights and prizes started to get smaller as she looked down excitedly. 

Ricky goes back and forth with himself on whether he should put his arm around the seat or if that would be too much, too cliche, too soon.

"You okay?"

Ricky's head quickly turns to her and his lips part, taken back. "Yeah, why?"

"You're a little fidgety I don't know." Gina shrugs and her white puffer brushes against his shoulder. Her doe brown eyes widen and she reaches out her gloved hand to touch his arm. "You're not afraid of heights are you?" She asks concerned.

"No nothing like that." Ricky huffs a laugh. 

"Okay good." Gina settles back in the seat while a cold drift carries a stray curl in the wind, he clenches his fist in his pocket so he doesn't touch it. "Because I like the view from up here." she finishes with a smile, admiring the newly acquired sights of the star-riddled sky. It was odd usually due to the pollution the sight was unlikely but rare glimpses were known to occur especially after rain.

Ricky is notoriously anti-cliche, but he can't help the way his eyes lazily travel over the night sky and find their way to her profile. "Me too." 

Gina leaned back and the ride skidded to a stop midway, the pair were within eye line of the rooftop of East High (which was disappointingly not home to a flower garden) and the lights of the festival beneath their feet. "So, what did the psychic say to you?" She finally asks. 

Ricky chuckled nervously, his eyes avoiding hers for a moment. "It wasn't even a conversation or anything, she just said some things."

Gina tilted her head, a smirk playing on her lips. "Come on, Ricky, spill it. I shared my day with you; it's only fair."

Ricky sighed, realizing he couldn't escape her inquisitive gaze. "Alright, alright. She asked me if I was lost."

"Were you?"

"No, the Ferris wheel is huge. You can't miss it." Ricky incredulously replies.

"Hey, it was the witch lady that asked you not me." Gina says through a startled laugh, her hands up in surrender. Ricky playfully rolls his eyes and his hand inches towards hers on the seat. 

"She also said that the person I wanted isn't as out of reach as I think."

"Huh." Gina swallows, thinking of those very same words the psychic had echoed to her earlier in the night. "That's not vague at all." She jokingly choked out. 

"I'd be surprised if she hadn't read it from a fortune cookie before she told me." Ricky's tone is lighthearted and dry, betraying the internal battle within him. The one telling him to relay the rest of what the wise older woman in the brown shawl told him, how the girl of his dreams was his to keep.

Luckily before he got the chance to say anything stupid the Ferris wheel reached its peak. The parking lot and a small patch of the Salt Lake cityscape unfolded beneath them, a breathtaking panorama of lights. Ricky's gaze shifted to Gina, captivated by the glow in her eyes.

"So, what about you? Any mind-blowing revelations?" Ricky asked, steering the conversation away from his encounter with Madame Reyna before he could embarrassingly word vomit anymore.

Gina sighed, her expression turning pensive. "She told me love is closer than I think."

"She definitely ordered Chinese takeout for lunch." Ricky jokes after a heavy beat passes. 

"One hundred percent." Gina says shaking her head with a smile, "The trash bin in that purple tent is incriminating for sure."

"Death of a business by fortune cookie wrappers," Ricky shakes his head. "I'd be on the 5 o'clock news if it were me."

Gina snorts, "Why 5 o'clock?"

"That is the question isn't it?" Ricky says in a faux serious tone and she giggles, her eyes closing with her mirth. 

"I don't know, " Gina's shy all of a sudden and he knows because she fiddles with her hands and evades his eyes. She swallows, willing the courage to say what she needs to. "What she told me reminded me of something a friend once said: 'Love unspoken is the loudest of all.'"

Ricky's heart skipped a beat, and he swallowed hard, feeling a knot forming in his stomach. "Love, huh?" The air around them shifted and the sounds of the Ferris wheel tuning weren't enough to break their gaze.

Gina glanced at him, her eyes searching his face. "Yeah, it's got me thinking."

The Ferris wheel started its descent, the world below gradually coming back into focus. Ricky took a deep breath, summoning the courage to express what had been lingering in his heart.

"Gina, there's something I've been wanting to tell you," he began, his voice a touch uncertain.

Gina turned toward him, her curiosity piqued. "What is it, Ricky?"

"She is yours, if you tell her so." 

Ricky can't help but think about all the ways he needed to say it. all the ways it was sort of crawling up his throat since he saw her walking towards him amidst the twinkling bright lights and inescapable sounds of the carnival.

I really like you, Gi.

I've always liked you. Since I took you home in my best friend's car and you made fun of it the whole time.

I love you, Gina.

His palms start to sweat even with the touch of the cool steel beneath his fingertips. The ride still moves downward but stops for a moment.

Is it too much to tell someone you love them before you've started dating? It seems like they did everything backward. When Gina stopped talking to him it was kind of the worst era of his life, everything seemed to have fallen apart. The kind of heartbreak that came from it was unimaginable. But how was it that they went through that before even being together?

"What are we doing?" He finally says, shaking his head of all the doubts.

Gina blinks a few times, not exactly expecting that. "What do you mean?"

"Gi..." Ricky whispers.

"We're having fun, we're...friends." She offers with wide eyes. 

"We are having fun." Gina's well versed in the language of wanting more from life and the way Ricky's talking to her now, it almost sounds like he wants more. "But don't really think we can be friends." Ricky swallows then bites his lip in contemplation. "Well that's not true we can. I'm just not sure we're good at staying that way."

"I think so too." Gina reluctantly agrees and Ricky finally meets her brown eyes, "I'm scared." She finally admits with a whisper. It was the truth of it. Reyna was right she was scared of the back and forth, what kind of relationship would come from something that teetered on a fine line of friendship and something more for so long, could it be solid? could it be something real?

Ricky fights the urge to take her face in his hands and brush the worried crease on her forehead.

"I am too." Ricky whispers back, "But I can't run anymore and if I have to I want to run toward something, with someone..."

Gina feels her fears subsiding with his words and the relief slowly wash over her. "You know I have a habit of needing to do things more than once so that they stick."

History is repeating itself in the same way it was before, a kiss, some clumsy flirting then someone getting in their way. Only now there was no one, no buffer. No one moving away, no one declaring their love loudly in dressing rooms, no one to run to outside of pizza shops.

"I think I might be the same way." Ricky smiles and turns in his seat to face her as the ride starts moving down again. Their knees touch as he takes her hand in his. Gina's lips part is not only inspired by the small action but because she wants to tell him, she wants to get it right. 

 "I have feelings for you, Gi and they're not going away anytime soon." He beats her to it, and Gina's eyes widen at his words. He said it first. "I've just kinda given in to the fact that I'm always gonna feel this way about you." He says with a resigned yet fond sigh like he's felt this way for twenty years (and is likely going to feel it for twenty more.

Gina's lips part. "Ricky-"

"You don't have to say anything." Ricky shakes his head, "I know we've got opening night coming up but for once I wanna leave it all on the line before we hit the stage so it doesn't potentially ruin your big night."

"Our big night." She corrects, "You've worked hard on this musical just as much as the rest of us. I'm proud of you."

Ricky smiles, "I'm proud of you too. No matter what happens I'm always gonna be rooting for you." Gina doesn't know how it's physically possible to melt as much as she has tonight. She looks down at the steel-white seating as it finally touches the ground, the sound of the metal scrapping against each other awakens her from her thoughts. Ricky guides her out of the seat with the feather-light touch of his hand. It travels to the small of her back when they walk back toward the pathway of the well-lit carnival and away from the metal barracks.

Gina decidedly breaks the silence with an admission, "I've never really had that before coming here, you know?" Ricky tilts his head thoughtfully, a question lingering in his gaze.  

"Someone that's stuck around long enough to always be in my corner. It's more than I've ever dreamed." Gina clarifies and Ricky can't help but smile at her words. She deserved that and more in his eyes. 

"So what your saying is I'm more than you've ever dreamed?" Ricky pokes. He wants her to feel comfortable, he wants her to be okay with the fact that he's resigned to loving her in silence if that's what she needs. 

Gina stops their slow trek, "Yes, Ricky." She's ready. She can have it all. 

Ricky blinks, "Are you being serious?"

She licks her lips and He's not ashamed to admit his eyes followed the action. The curly-haired beauty closes the gap between them leaving only a foot away from each other. "Last semester there was this question that kept bothering me after the improv exercise thing Ms.Jenn had us do. Do you remember that?" Ricky sharply exhales a short breath, making the string of the orange hat move slightly. He nods at her question, "It was: what was my heart telling me?"

Gina blinks and gently breathes through the words, "It wasn't until today I realized my heart never left East High. It never left you."

"You don't how happy I am that you came back." Ricky blinks through the tears, overcome with love and relief. "You kinda changed my life, Porter. Everyone's life here, for the better." Gina smiles, something nags at her to tell the whole truth and start anew.

"Ricky, I want you to know I held on as tight as I could." She feels the need to explain why it didn't work the first time, even though they both know. Ricky fights the urge to take her face in his hands again, feeling the new to be closer. "But it got to a point that holding on so tight to you when you weren't ready was hurting me."

Ricky shakes his head and looks at her with guilt-ridden eyes, "I didn't mean to-"

Gina steps even closer, and the white clouds of air from their breaths combine. "I know you didn't."

"I'm sorry I wasn't ready then. I'm sorry I took so long." He says ashamed. 

"I'm not." Gina says, "You were so worth the wait."

"So we're you." He replies, his tone and the weight of his gaze were just as fond and she kind of can't take it anymore. "I want-"

Gina interrupts him this time, she pulls him by the ends of the hat and kisses him. Grabbing his face in her hands when he's within reach. 

(He always has been)

Their lips met in a sweet collision, a moment charged with the unspoken longing that had lingered between them. The taste of vulnerability and anticipation hung in the air as Gina, fueled by the uncontainable affection she felt, pulled Ricky close. His left-hand finds shelter at the small of her back while his right finds refuge on her cheek. So how his hand is warm amidst the cold front that blows around them and the snowflakes settling on their coats.

Ricky smiles blissfully, his long eyelashes tickling the top of her forehead when they part. "It fits." Gina whispers, fiddling with the bright yarn between her fingers. His forehead touches hers and their noses brush, "Told you I'd grow into it."

"Now we just gotta make sure your head doesn't get too big that it stre-" He interrupts her with the kiss she smiles into, Gina erupts into a fit of giggles in the middle of it so he peppers her face with kisses instead. Until he stops, his eyes trail along all the spots of her face that he'd marked and remain on one.

"What?" Gina gently asks. Her hands now settled into his curls under the folds of his hat, it was warm and her new favorite place to place her hands in the cold air. 

"You have a little beauty mark under your lip." Ricky finally says softly, his thumb brushing the faint black spot in wonder. 

Gina feels flushed, thankful for the coat covering the redness she'd sure is splotched all over her neck. "Yeah" She replies with a brilliant dumb smile.

It's so beautiful

"You're so beautiful." Ricky finally says. He leans in for another kiss as he now cups her cheek but they are interrupted by a thunderous sound that hits the sky and reverberates all around them. A bright pink and purple firework color explodes and greets the night.  It's followed by a burst of green and gold that sharply hits the air and soon a crowd starts forming around them. Colors exploded, casting a serene glow on their faces. 

"Wow." Gina says and she shoots him an excited grin. Ricky fondly observes her watching the lights coloring the snow-filled sky. He links his arms under her neck and rests his head on hers, and Gina rubs his arms wrapped around her carefully as the pair watch distant colors crackle in the air.

[Ricky]: mom

[mom]: Hi Ricky, How did Tnight go?

*Tnoight

[Ricky]: this was the greatest night of my life

[mom]: *tonight 

[Ricky]: i think i'm gonna marry her?

Opening night

It was absurdly cold in the rehearsal space again. Ms. Jenn was going back and forth between the space and administration to get the heat back on before their performance in an hour. Families were set to arrive within the timeframe.

Gina shivered in her modest red and white gown, she'd left her cloak in the dressing room and would have to rush to get it before curtain call. Natalie Badgley rattled onto the gathered theater kids in a circle, letting everyone know about last-minute changes and running the show while Ms.Jenn talked the repair man's ears off.

"You okay?" Ricky whispers, stroking the hand wrapped around his arm. Her chin rests on his shoulder while she looks up at him with her incredibly soft brown eyes and pouts. He eyes the quirk of her newly rouge-coated lips thoughtfully. "I'm cold" She whispers back.

Ricky takes the hand wrapped around his arm decidedly in his hands. He brings them up to his lips and blows warm air between the spaces where their fingers overlap. Gina's eyes carried such an acute fondness, she thought she'd burst right where she stood.

Ricky's soft smile hides between their now intertwined hands.

"Hey, Romeo and Juliet? You still with us?" Natalie singles them out with an eyebrow raise.

Gina clears her throat, "Yup we're good."

"Heard every word." Ricky lies and nods in agreement.

"Lovely." Natalie taps her nails on the clipboard in approval and looks over the cast and crew again, "Let's all stay in-"

"The roles we were cast in." The theater kids finish the statement in unison. It was practically tradition at this point.

"You ready, Porter?"

"I'm ready, Bowen."

Seven months later: July 17th

Summer by far was Ricky's favorite season. It always has been. School was out, the weather promised long days full of sun, and his birthday came right in the middle of it. When he was younger his parents had orchestrated birthday parties in the backyard or the skate park, when they finally got him the one he wanted. Kids from around the neighborhood came and celebrated but all he really cared about was getting to be with Red and Nini on his day. As he got older the celebrations turned into informal dinners at slices with his friends and sharing cake with his parents. It was the one day of the year they actively tried not to ruin with their bickering, so it was one he looked forward to.

Now his family is so much bigger, so much more than what it once was. Carlos, his bro, sends him a birthday text and a thoughtful selfie of him lounging on a beach chair with sunscreen slathered on his nose. Nini more or less does the same without the selfie, as she settles into life in California and even Kourtney spares him a text while she's visiting her family in New York for the summer.

Jaz is still as loud and lovely as ever.

"How did you even see that guy?! He came out of nowhere!" Jet exclaims from his spot on the couch. Jas smirks right next to him, holding the Xbox controller in her hand effortlessly. Ricky smiles at the scene proudly from the kitchen counter, I taught her well, he thinks to himself. It wasn't weird or awkward seeing two different people in his life occupy the same space but it was kinda perfect. 

Jet and Maddox had come to visit him in Salt Lake, and so had his mom with Jas and Todd (there will come a day where Ricky doesn't address him with that tone in his head but until then it's working pretty well for him). Gina and his mom had been occupying the kitchen all day and refusing help from any of the Bowens, essentially kicking him out except when he could sneak in a kiss or two. 

"Pleaseeee tell me it's done." Ricky whines as he wraps his arms around Gina's waist. She fights off a smile and tries to appear somewhat annoyed (which can be physically impossible with him at times) while she garnishes the newly frosted blue cake.

Lynne gives him a disapproving look, "Ricky you've asked her that three times in the last hour."

"Mom it's not my fault." Ricky says incredulously, "If I don't have a baked good made by Gina for more than two weeks, I'll be on the verge of passing out or something."

"You are so dramatic." Gina claims, "Like certified theater kid dramatic."

"Took the words right out of my mouth." Lynne says, sharing an amused look with Gina.

"I am what I am." The curly-haired skater shrugs and Gina shakes her head fondly. Ricky pouts, sinking his head further into her shoulder and Gina thumbs his chin thoughtfully before she gets back to focusing on the green cake toppers. "I promise all that's left are the sprinkles."

Ricky gives her a peck (and then sneaks in another one) before he goes back into the living room. Where he catches Ashlyn, who'd just arrived settled into the living room. She'd watched Jas and Jet take the game on the screen very seriously with a concerned expression. She stands and smiles when she sees him walking into the space, "Hey birthday boy." she says, going in for a hug. "Hey Ash" He says with a friendly smile.

"You feel any different?" She asks.

Ricky shrugs, "Not really, maybe I have to give it till midnight?"

"I definitely feel very different watching Jas and-" Ashlyn tilts her head in question, "is it Jet?"

"Yes, unfortunately." Maddox quips behind the pair. Jet rolls his eyes and resists the urge the flip her off. Ashlyn turns to see the girl with a curious look.

"Sorry, I'm Maddox." The shorter girl shakes her head and Ricky trades looks with both girls. "I have the offputting tendency of sneaking up on people." Maddie finishes with an awkward smile. 

Ashlyn smiled, endeared by her witty comment. "That's such a cool name." 

"Thanks." Maddox says.

"I'm Ashlyn." Ash holds out her hand and Maddox shakes it. A silent beat passes and Ricky gets the sense he should leave the room. "I have the offputting tendency to fill up any silent space with words." Ash finally says and this erupts a cute laugh from Maddox.

"Look at that match made in heaven." Ricky says. Maddox's eyes widen and Ashlyn does her best to blush outright at his words. The curly-haired skater pats them both on the shoulder with an endearing smile and walks toward the kitchen again. This time his dad stops him in his tracks and leads him to the dining room table where Todd sat with a cup of green tea.

"Alright let's go birthday boy, they're gonna bring the cake out." Mike says, clasping his shoulder in his hand. Ricky smiles, eager to embrace the day with the people he loves (and Todd, well Todd).

 "Wait where's Red?" The elder Bowen notices. Ricky's brow furrows in confusion, he was just here.

"Here" Red says from the front door, Ashlyn waves to him in greeting amidst a lively conversation with Maddox about rising signs. Even though the pair had broken up months ago it seemed like the pair were getting into a friendly place.  

Ricky gives his best friend a fist pump, "Perfect timing dude." 

"Had to pick something up." Red pulls an envelope from his pocket, "From me and Nini." He says with a small smile.

Ricky excitedly opens the envelope to find a lottery ticket. "Thank you." He says, feeling a surge of familial fondness course through him. He tugs Red into a bear hug and Jet teases him from the couch, "Sap." He mutters. Jas takes advantage of his distraction and claims another one of his warships in the game, "Oh come on!" he whines, pressing the buttons on his controller more forcibly. 

"Snooze you lose." The younger girl giggles. 

"Alright, all done." Lynne declares from the kitchen.

"Finally." Ricky exclaims.

"A wonderful sentiment for your mother and your girlfriend who spent a good chunk of the morning making this for you." Lynne says with an arched brow. Gina brings in the cake covered in rainbow sprinkles and green dinosaur cake toppers. The candles were unlit and  It was a cake befitting a 10-year-old, and Ricky loved it. Jas teased him for it but wanted a piece more than anything else. 

Red snorts and Jet winces while trying to contain a laugh. 

Ricky bites his lip. feeling contrite. "What I meant to say was thank you and you are both the best people to ever exist?" He proposes awkwardly with a cheeky smile. 

Lynne squints and turns toward Gina, "What do you think? was that better?"

Gina pouts cutely, Ricky gives her that stupid dopey smile and she tries not cave so easily. "Eh, it's his birthday I'll cut the kid some slack and he's got a cute smile." (she tried okay?)

Ricky scrunches his nose, "I'm older than you?"

Gina tilts her head, "Are you?"

"I want cake!" Jas declares loudly from the couch,  "Let's get to business people." she marches up to the table and Ricky yanks a strand of her long curly hair. "Ow!" She yelps, slapping his hand away with her smaller one. Lynne separates them by putting her hands on Jas' shoulders stilling her while Gina holds the cake up so Mike can light each candle. 

Gina turns with the cake in her hands and the candles cast a luminous glow highlighting the brightness of her smile,  Ricky feels his heart stutter in his chest and the restless butterflies. Soon the room erupts in a timeless chorus, "Happy Birthday to youuuu" It's sung again and again, Ricky looks around at the people in the room. It feels warm, beyond the heat of stifling summer air. His eyes trail back to Gina again, his gaze never straying too far. She places the cake in front of him. "Happy Birthday to you." she softly sings. I love you, she mouths.

I love you, he mouths right back. Gina winks at him and the blush creeps up on him. Ricky laughs and instead at the blue cake.

"Quick make a wish." Mike says. Jas nearly topples over in anticipation at this point just wanting a slice. Ricky fiddles with the lotto ticket Red gave him. Maddox and Ashlyn brush shoulders and Jet rolls his eyes at him as if to say, hurry it up already Bowen.  

Ricky slowly looks from the cake back up to Gina. Her doe brown eyes shined with a fondness and love he didn't know he could have.

He mutters something about another guitar to finally put Jas out of her misery. The confetti cake is better than what he imagined not that he expected any less. Maddox and Ashlyn are hunched over the couch laughing together about the blue icing smudged across Jet's lip as Jas runs around from a sugar-induced high.  

Gina's settled on his lap while they sat by the dining table.  He hears his mother laugh in the kitchen with his dad and Todd as they drink coffee. She laughs as she lightly swipes a bit of frosting from his chin, she eats the rest, and his eyes gently follow her content profile.

"What?" Gina asks, Ricky's hand trails her back. he closes his eyes when her hand finds its way to his curls like it belongs there.

"Nothing" he replies. 

You were exactly what I wished for.